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Av 29, 5781 Issue 206 the Professor and the Hot Parshat Re'eh Av 29, 5781 August 7, 2021 Issue 206 for listening to this nonsense. He was The Professor and the Hot Dog angry at G‑d, because the least G‑d By Rabbi Yossi Lew could do was arrange for his meal to Dr. Velvl Greene was a professor of be on this darn plane, especially after Greene had epidemiology and public health at the University done something nice for G‑d! But he was most ‘For Forgiveness is with You…’ of Minnesota. This was around 1960. Professor angry, fuming at Rabbi Feller for convincing him By A.B.S. Greene was involved in the NASA program to to do this. And Greene decided that he would show him yet. find life on Mars. Mazel Tov, we gave birth to our sixth son and our joy was great. Right before we were to be discharged from the hospital, the baby My uncle Rabbi Moshe Feller had recently He landed at Chicago’s O’Hare airport at midnight began to spasm. After a thorough examination, it was revealed that arrived in Minnesota, and became very friendly for a one-hour stopover. He arrived at the terminal, the baby had internal convulsions even though there were no and there was still one store open: a non-kosher with Dr. Greene, and they talked a lot. external signs. hot dog stand. The hot dogs looked and smelled Rabbi Feller called Dr. Greene and said, “Velvl, good, plump and juicy. There was even hot The doctors began to treat with medication that really did not I know you’re traveling somewhere by plane. sauerkraut available. Velvl Greene was very work. I saw that the doctors were greatly embarrassed, and they did Before you take this trip, please do me a favor. hungry, but he was even more angry than hungry. not know how to help the baby. Call the airline and order a kosher meal.” He therefore headed first to the phone booth and I went to Rabbis for blessings until I came to one Tzaddik who told called the rabbi - collect. A collect call in the Velvl replied, “What? You know I don’t keep me that all the problems were because someone had a grudge middle of the night was sure to invite panic. And against me. I tried to think who I might have harmed as this is not kosher. If I don’t keep kosher in my house, why indeed, Rabbi Feller was deeply concerned that my nature to do something like that. I began to call friends past and do I need a kosher meal on the plane?” something terrible had happened. present, but no one remembered my doing anything to them. I was Rabbi Feller responded that when the other completely broken. “This is a very upset and hungry Professor Greene Jewish passengers hear that Professor Velvl calling from O’Hare airport in Chicago,” he said. On the one hand I was exhausted from running to the hospital and Greene had asked for his kosher meal, it could “I’ll have you know that they did not have my taking care of the rest of the family. On the other hand, I was inspire them as well. Why should they lose out kosher meal on the plane, and I’m starving. I also trying to find the person I had harmed. I went to another Tzaddik just because he’s not there yet? want you to know that there is a hot dog stand 20 to ask for a yeshua (salvation). As I approached the Tzaddik’s feet away from me. Before I go ahead and buy one home, someone signaled me to lower my car window and he asked Velvl responded, “Look, I’m not so sure about and eat it, I just wanted to wake you up to tell you me how to get to the Tzaddik’s house. all this, but if it is going to make you happy, I’ll that I’m going to eat it. I’m going to have it with do you the favor.” I starting explaining, but he said, “Is this you?! I do not want mustard, onions, relish and kraut. After I finish the anything from you!!!” and he left angry. I recognized him. He used Dr. Greene ordered the kosher meal, and first one, I’m going to have a second one!” to learn with me many years ago, but I did not remember what I boarded the plane the next day. But when the had done to him. I parked the car on the side of the road, ran after The rabbi was quiet for a minute, and then he said, flight attendant came by, she handed him a him to appease him, but he ran and would not hear a word. I saw “Velvl, on many occasions you have asked me regular, non-kosher meal. Dr. Greene was ready there was no reason to chase him since he also wanted to see the about the essence of Judaism, what it all comes for this too. Clearing his throat, he declared for Tzaddik. down to, what it calls forth from within us. everybody to hear, “No, ma’am, I ordered a Tonight, right now, in this telephone conversation, I decided to wait for him in the Tzaddik’swaiting room to try to kosher meal!” I’m going to tell you the essence of Judaism. It’s appease him. My wife was in the car and saw all that happened and “Your name, please?” about passing the hot dog stand and not buying prayed that I would be able to appease him. In the courtyard, I one. It’s about being able to get on your went to him as he sat calmly. I approached him with tears and “Professor Velvl Greene.” connecting flight without having eaten the hot dog. beseeching, but he started shouting for me to leave him alone. That’s all of Judaism; the rest is commentary.” Despite his screams, I tearfully begged him to have mercy on me All heads turned. Professor Greene had ordered and my family, but it was no use. a kosher meal! The attendant said, “Okay, I’ll be The professor says, “Feller, you’re nuts. I always Ultimately, my wife approached, crying and begging him for her right back.” thought you were nuts; now I know you’re nuts. sake and the sake of the baby, that it was definitely his grudge that This is all of Judaism? Feller, as every bite of this While fellow passengers were feasting on was causing our distress, and it has been many years since then and hot dog goes down my throat, I’m going to be what can he gain, when he can save a Jewish baby? He relented chicken parmesan or steak, the flight attendant thinking of you and saying your name. I am going was nowhere to be found. The professor was and agreed to forgive me. We took his phone number, and then it to eat this in your honor.” was my turn to go into the Tzaddik. and I gave him the note]. The hungry; his mouth was starting to really salivate. The aromas were stabbing his kishkes! He Tzaddik smiled and said, “I see everything has been settled.” And he hung up the phone. pushed the little button, and when the attendant Two days later, the man called me to apologize for embarrassing returned he said, “My kosher meal?” He headed straight for the stand, stood in line and me, and of course we forgave him, we were so glad that we found waited for his turn. He was about to place his him. On Sunday, the baby was scheduled for surgery. But instead She replied, “We’re still checking.” order, when something very strange happened. He the doctors decided to stop all medication. Within two weeks all tried to say, “Can I have a hot dog?” He wanted it, seizures stopped, and the baby’s situation improved thank G-d. After a few minutes, and after everyone on the he was hungry, he was angry, and gosh, those hot plane had been served, the flight attendant came dogs looked better and better with each rotation of Reprinted from an email of Tiv Hakehila. to his seat and said, “Um, Dr. Greene, there the grill. must have been a mistake. We don’t seem to have your meal on the plane.” But he couldn’t. Reprinted from an email of Tiv Hakehila. Dr. Greene was about to blurt out, “Fine, give At that moment, he got it. It wasn’t that he was Shabbat Times – Parshat Re'eh me another meal.” After all, this wasn’t his idea. stronger than the hot dog. Or than the craving He ate all sorts of food at home. Problem was, hunger in his gut. It was that G‑d was stronger than Candle Motzei Motzei how could he ask for that meal after he had just that hot dog. And he had to listen to G‑d. Not out Lighting Shabbat Shabbat ר"ת made such a big deal on the plane for everyone of fear, not out of guilt, but out of love. And that to know that Professor Velvl Greene had was Judaism. All of it. Jerusalem 6:56 8:10 8:48 ordered a kosher meal? How would it look if he suddenly said, “Fine, give me a regular meal”? Professor Greene never bought that hot dog, not Tel Aviv 7:11 8:12 then, not ever again.
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