By Michael McCoy JustLaughs for

At the end of last month's episode, it was the the landscape became. The magnificent, Boyley. Steve's line of Avanti , virtu- evening of September 27, 2002. Author arid outback reminded me a great deal of ally unknown in the United States, enjoy a McCoy and the approximately 300 other road the broad basins of New Mexico the large share of the road- and mountain-bike and mountain-bike riders taking part in Great Divide, notwithstanding the absurd- markets in and , and The South Australia's event, 2002 Bicycles: looking emus racing alongside us just off they were the official hire bike of this event. An Outback Odyssey, were camped on an ath- the road. The day ended in Quorn as sunny and letic field in Melrose, at the foot of Mount Another piece of contrast: ubiquitous spectacular as it had begun wet and miser- Remarkable. Our intrepid field editor had hit flocks of galahs, a beautiful pink-and-gray able at Mount Remarkable. In Quorn, some continuing the hay early, dozing off to the sounds of light cockatoo that is so common, so caustically fellow riders dragged me — okay, invited me rain on his tent and live rock 'n' roll emanating noisy, and so damaging to cultivated grain — into one of the local pubs, where the from a nearby sound stage. crops that its name is employed as an Superbowl of Australia, the Grand Final of insult, as in "you bloody galah." I would the Australian Football League, was show- saga of an September 28 scare up large flocks of them as I pedaled ing on the telly. September 28 In America: washboard road past, then watch as the flood of pink Most of those in the crowd, including In Australia: corrugated road flapped toward cloud-engulfed Mount me, were rooting for the Brisbane Lions, Remarkable, going from the feed of fields who wound up winning the premiership by outback The day began exceedingly soggy as we pedaled through Mount Remarkable I wandered away from the lights of camp National Park on trails and rocky dirt tracks normally reserved for foot travel. to view sky filled with more stars than journey of "We'll be back in the dry 30 kilome- ters to the north," promised the fellow I I’d ever witnessed anywhere. started out riding beside. "Mount Remarkable gets around 26 inches of rain to the cover of timber. To round out the squeaking past the Collingwood Magpies. discovery a year; 100 kilometers north, that's down scene, a brilliant mid-morning rainbow Bicycle SA executive director Peter "the to around 10 inches." shone like a neon sign at the base of the lungs" Solly was the most enthusiastic fan in Despite the rain and clouds, my com- mountain. the pub, emitting a perfect, and perfectly ear- panion's face was painted ghostly white On this day I was treated to riding a splitting, Austin Powers "Yeah Baby!" every with zinc oxide, and a scarf covered his ears Specialized Epic, the revolutionary bike time "Brizzy" did something right or the and neck. Australians tend to be extremely that rides like a hardtail until you get into Magpies something wrong. watchful about sun exposure, as their rough stuff, when "the Brain," a rear sus- Unlike my -viewing experience country has the highest rate of skin cancer pension inertia valve, makes it start think- back at the hotel in Adelaide, I understood in the world. ing and acting like a full-suspension bike. and enjoyed Australian rules football, which, Y O

C Sure enough, the farther north we Reportedly one of just a handful in the I discovered, has far less down time than our went, the drier the air and more desiccated world that had come out of hiding by this own gridiron. MICHAEL MC

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After the game, while searching for which were tighter than what I'm used to. the story of overgrazing that Australia suf- teers who kept the hot food and drinks camp, I cycled through Quorn's quaint A local woman, drink in one hand and cig- fered in the wake of European settlement. coming ... morning, noon, and night. downtown area. Painted on the false front arette in the other, came out to try to help After entering the Flinders Ranges As I discovered, a visit to the spectac- of a visitor center was a long list of motion me up. Meanwhile, said fellow cyclists were National Park on bitumen, Bernie and I cut ular Flinders Ranges National Park in pictures that have been made in and cheering and giving me a standing ovation. left back onto dirt to climb to a location that itself would be sufficient reason for mak- around the picturesque town. Among I felt like crying. would serve as our home tonight — and, for ing the long trip to the very large state of them: "The Sundowners," a terrific 1960 "I did it on purpose," I told some folks some of us, for another six nights after that. South Australia (at about 380,000 square movie starring Robert Mitchum and in the supper queue who'd been there to Others would home after just the one miles, it's somewhere between Texas and Deborah Kerr, about a restless Australian see it and cheer me on. "Just for laughs." night, so our camp this evening was a cele- Alaska in scope). The Flinders Ranges are sheepherder and his family in the 1920s. In Hawker, a small town surrounded bration of cycling and of friends new and old. a namesake of explorer Matthew Flinders, by endless dry outback, we camped on the Bushy, one of the Piggies, played guitar, a native of Lincolnshire, England, whose

September 29 community horse-racing oval, which Y while several of us sang around a roaring circumnavigation of Australia 200 years O In America: furniture mover decades' worth of equine hooves had C bonfire. Beyond, jutting into the starry sky, ago is being celebrated in 2002 and 2003 In Australia: removalist pounded into the most tentstake-resistant loomed the dark eastern rim of Wilpena — an interesting parallel to our own

ground in Australia. The surrounding, MICHAEL MC Pound. Lewis & Clark bicentennial commemora- Today was the first of two consecutive burry vegetation was autumn-grey, with no Before the night was over, my Scottish- tions. 100-kilometer-plus days, which, on moun- hint of spring green growth; it looked as if Sheep Country A rider encounters the locals Australian friend Rico Ferri, Adelaide- During his voyage in HMS tain bikes and on the sorts of surfaces we no measurable rain had fallen on Hawker bound the following morning, presented me Investigator, Flinders charted the entire were riding, was the equivalent of at least in a very long time. ny of Bernie Morgan, a high-ranking with his prized leather hat, one of those odd coast of Australia, proving it was one large 100 miles on pavement. It was also the day Like every other night on the trail, the Adelaide policeman who dispensed fasci- jobs with wine corks dangling off the brim island rather than a collection of smaller that convinced me, positively and unequiv- instant the desert sun dipped below the nating tidbits about the native vegetation on strings, designed to keep flies away from ones, which had previously been suspect- ocally, that I should have built some cal- horizon, the temperature went from quite and other aspects of the Flinders Ranges. your face. (Question: "Why are those corks ed. In the introduction to his book, lousness to my rear end prior to the event warm to very chilly. After a hot shower and In early afternoon we cut up and around dangling off your hat?" Answer: "Because we “Voyage to Terra Australis” — published by putting in a lot more long hours in the supper had brought me back among the liv- the base of Rawnsley Bluff, which marks drank the wine.") Rico avowed that the hat on the day in 1814 that he died at age 40 saddle. Several riders asked me why I was ing, I wandered away from the lights of the southern edge of the feature known as once belonged to the legendary bushman, — Flinders suggested that the name standing on the pedals so much. I told camp to view a sky filled with more stars Wilpena Pound. Appearing like a giant, Banjo Patterson. Australia be applied to the huge landmass. them it was to stretch some new muscles, than I'd ever witnessed, anywhere. Over mountain-ringed crater, the pound is actu- The Festival: October 1-6 By late in the 1820s, the term was being but in truth it was because I'd exhausted here I spotted an upside-down Orion; over ally an elevated basin that once separated Though it didn't attract the participant commonly used to identify the continent. the sitting possibilities: I suffered from raw- there, the storied Southern Cross; above, two much higher synclinal mountains. numbers that Bicycle SA organizers had The Festival was partly about bicy- ness wherever and however I sat, so stand- the milkiest Milky Way imaginable. The majority of those mountains have optimistically hoped for, the post-ride cling and partly about a lot of other things:

TOM BOL ing was the only way to get some tempo- eroded away, leaving the steep quartzite Festival was a real kick for those of us who making the demanding hike up St. Mary's rary relief. September 30 ramparts that now encompass the pound. hung around for the duration. At first, it felt Peak, the high point of the Flinders early date, the bike came courtesy of To cap the afternoon, after pulling, In America: "Last year" Using Wilpena Pound like a huge strange and lonely in the dramatically Ranges at 3,825 feet above sea level; pho- sun-battered and spent, into the destina- In Australia: "Lost yeeah" box canyon, the first white settlers here thinned-out crowd; in a day or so, however, tographing kangaroos in the wind-swept Gear to Go. tion of Hawker at about 5 p.m., I survived ran more than 100,000 head of sheep on we all got accustomed to it and liked it. We grasslands lying between camp and the the only crash I would have in nearly 500 For breakfast I spread the powerful 30 or 40 square miles. That worked in a had it good, in fact: No more standing in Wilpena Pound Resort; enjoying an When you’re ready to ride kilometers of mountain biking on the brown paste known as vegemite on my wet year, but it was far too many sheep for long queues for showers, for food, or for organized four-wheel-drive safari into the we’ve got the gear for you. Rainwear, panniers, trailers, Mawson Trail. True to my typical form, it toast. A yeast extract that's eaten like the land to endure in the more common cold, dirty dish-washing water. And for six sprawling outback of nearby Arkaba books, maps, Adventure was not on a steep, technical uphill or peanut butter by kids in Australia, veg- dry years. One chapter of hundreds telling mornings straight I didn't have to take my Station; listening to presentations on abo- Cycling gear & much more! downhill, but next to a bistro where emite tastes not a thing like chicken. tent down, then put it back up later the same riginal culture and "dreamtime" — a con- Visit us online at: www.adven- approximately 50 fellow cyclists were seat- The final day of the Mini-Mawson afternoon. tinuum that encompasses the past, pres- turecycling.org or Call ed outside drinking beer and coffee. involved another exhausting, yet exhilarat- Leave a Legacy. Each morning, I would crawl from my ent, and future, and all that is known — (800)721-8719 8am-5pm MST, I pulled up to the stop sign, looked left ing, ride that dished out the most technical tent outside onto a ground littered with by an Adnyamathanha couple from the Contact Bill Sawyer, Executive Mon-Fri. Get ready to go! for oncoming traffic, saw none and poked riding of the entire event, including a steep, Director, for information on how to clover burs, tiny black ants, and kangaroo nearby Iga Warta Cultural Tourism into the intersection a little before looking radical downhill over angry red angular make a planned gift to the pellets. Our camp/festival site was not a Centre; and nightly entertainment, most right. Only when I saw a car coming rocks early in the day. Naturally, at the Adventure Cycling Association. structured campground; had we not been of it top-notch. straight at me did I remember that at street base of this hill were situated the morning Call (800) 755-2453 or email: camping there, plenty of kangaroos would On two nights, for instance, we were crossings in Australia you should first tea stop, the video filmers, and the ambu- bsawyer@ adventurecycling.org have taken our places. Yet we basked in a treated to performances by Abbie Specialized and Avanti rep Stephen right, not left. I banged on the brakes, for- lance crew. Gathered there also was a greater abundance of amenities than Cardwell, a sweet-voiced young South Adventure Cycling getting all about the clip-in pedals, and crowd of cyclists crying out for blood and Adventure Cycling campers staying at the nearby designated Australian singer-songwriter with a pen- Association immediately fell over. The car swerved to mayhem, so I was determined not to exhib- Association campground of the Flinders Ranges chant for jazzy guitar chords who per- miss me. Then I lay in the street for a it the form I'd shown at the stop sign in America’s Bicycle Travel National Park — thanks to the shower and formed intimate concerts around the bon- America’s Bicycle Travel Inspiration and Resource Inspiration and Resource minute or two, flailing and twitching Hawker. I cleaned it proper ("prah-pah"). loo trucks and to a dedicated crew of volun- fire. While her own compositions were wretchedly, trying to unhinge the cleats, Most of the day I spent in the compa-

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masse to ride RAGBRAI. If they do, you'll recognize them by their Aussie accents and matching porcine wardrobes — from pig-adorned socks and jerseys to neckties — should the occasion for formal wear arise —as it had at the Not So Dusty Outback Ball.

Afterthoughts Perhaps the best thing about bicycling in South Australia for me was not the scenery, not the wildlife — both of which were splendid — but the opportunity to spend time with a bunch of life-loving Y O

Australians. I'm convinced that when they C were passing out friendly, the Aussies were at the front of the queue, and most of them MICHAEL MC “Victory” after a great ride or is it an order for two more beers? went back for seconds. If you arrive there, as I did, a stranger, I predict that you won't good, most memorable for me was her ular long-distance hiking trail. remain one for more than 10 minutes. soulful take of Dolly Parton's hit song, The stretch I pedaled included giggle- As a group of individuals, these "Jolene." With sparks from the fire lifting inducing stretches of singletrack and a cou- Australian cyclists were incredibly hardy into a starry sky, it made me wish the song, ple of challenging creekbed crossings. and wonderfully laid back. In two weeks' and the night, would never end. Abbie Farther along, the trail emptied onto a time I did not see or hear one rider get hung around for the rest of the Festival, graded road of loose shale wending angry or belligerent, or complain about and she turned out to be quite a spirited through an open forest of contrasting anything — even when there was cause to mountain biker, with a love of going AFAP gums and native pines. complain (the maps handed out by Bicycle (as fast as possible) on the downhills. On the final night, October 6, I got SA left a lot to be desired, for instance). On another evening we were bussed a the nerve, along with permission, to claim There is no need for "no whiners" signs in couple of hours away to the outskirts of the band du jour's electric guitar and Australia, I concluded, because no one Beltana for the Not So Dusty Outback microphone. I was just starting to rock — there seems to whine. Ball, yet another component of the 2002 Van Morrison's "Wild Night," as I recall If you exclude Antarctica, which is Year of the Outback festivities. One fellow — when some greater force decided to put peopled only at research stations, cyclist told me it was a variation on the an end to my racket with the only light- Australians live on the emptiest continent B&S (bachelor & spinster) balls that are a ning strike I witnessed during more than in the world. This may help explain why long-standing tradition in rural Australia. two weeks in Australia. It obviously had they get on so well with one another. As Men in tuxedos and women wearing hit in very close proximity, so the band one fellow put it to me: "Hey, we're all black evening gowns kicked up their heels scurried around to shut down their micro- mates. We have a population of less than — and kicked up a lot of dust on the phones and amplifiers. They played their 20 million people living in an area the size Beltana racetrack oval, too, making me sus- final set unplugged. of your lower 48 states." pect that the event had been named in jest As the night wore on, several individ- And what about all those poisonous — to a fantastic, pulse-quickening per- uals fell onto the dirt floor of the music things? I never did see a live snake or, that formance by Australia's reigning queen of tent during a how-low-can-you-go limbo I know of, a poisonous insect. The crusty country music, Beccy Cole. competition. As Rat, Bushy, and the other old guide who led my Jeep safari said he'd But there was bicycling, as well, both Piggies squealed with delight, the George seen maybe 30 snakes in his more than 60 long and short rides. Although our official Harrison song "Piggies" came to mind: years in the area. That's not very many, adventure on the Mawson Trail had ended "Have you see the little piggies, crawling in although snakes are no doubt thicker in at the Flinders Ranges National Park, the the dirt..." Dirty dancing, indeed. certain other parts of the country. trail continues north from there before ter- Oh, and Iowans, beware: There was Next year, Bicycle SA plans to host an minating at the settlement of Blinman. I talk amongst the Piggies about making a event ride on Kangaroo Island, a 1,700- pedaled a portion of it from the Wilpena pilgrimage some day soon to the American square-mile, wildlife-rich landmass located Pound Resort north, where for a ways it's heartland, and the symbolic capital of pig- 10 miles off the mainland from outside coincidental with the Heysen Trail, a pop- gydom, by descending on your state en Adelaide. I heartily recommend that you

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