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NANNY FAMILIES Sociology of Children and Families Series NANNY FAMILIES Sociology of Children and Families series Series editors: Esther Dermott, University of Bristol, UK and Debbie Watson, University of Huddersfield, UK The Sociology of Children and Families monograph series brings together the latest international research on children, childhood and families and pushes forward theory in the sociology of childhood and family life. Books in the series cover major global issues affecting children and families. Forthcoming in the series: Social Research Matters: A Life in Family Sociology Julia Brannen, November 2019 Designing Parental Leave Policy: The Norway Model and the Changing Face of Fatherhood Elin Kvande and Berit Brandth, March 2020 A Child’s Day: Children’s Time Use in the UK from 1975–2015 Killian Mullan, July 2020 Sharing Care: Equal and Primary Caregiver Fathers and Early Years Parenting Paul Hodkinson and Rachel Brooks, November 2021 Find out more at bristoluniversitypress.co.uk NANNY FAMILIES Practices of Care by Nannies, Au Pairs, Parents and Children in Sweden Sara Eldén and Terese Anving First published in Great Britain in 2019 by Bristol University Press North America office: University of Bristol Policy Press 1-9 Old Park Hill c/o The University of Chicago Press Bristol 1427 East 60th Street BS2 8BB Chicago, IL 60637, USA UK t: +1 773 702 7700 t: +44 (0)117 954 5940 f: +1 773-702-9756 www.bristoluniversitypress.co.uk [email protected] www.press.uchicago.edu © Bristol University Press 2019 The digital PDF version of this title is available Open Access and distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 licence (http://creativecommons. org/licenses/by-nc/4.0/) which permits adaptation, alteration, reproduction and distribution for non-commercial use, without further permission provided the original work is attributed. The derivative works do not need to be licensed on the same terms. British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 978-1-5292-0151-2 hardcover ISBN 978-1-5292-0154-3 ePub ISBN 978-1-5292-0152-9 ePdf ISBN 978-1-5292-1446-8 OA Pdf The right of Sara Eldén and Terese Anving to be identified as the authors of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved: no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of Bristol University Press. The statements and opinions contained within this publication are solely those of the authors and not of the University of Bristol or Bristol University Press. The University of Bristol and Bristol University Press disclaim responsibility for any injury to persons or property resulting from any material published in this publication. Bristol University Press works to counter discrimination on grounds of gender, race, disability, age and sexuality. Cover design by blu inc, Bristol Front cover image: kindly supplied by Lumina @ Stocksy Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY Bristol University Press uses environmentally responsible print partners Contents List of Figures vi Acknowledgements vii 1 Introduction: Nannies, Au Pairs, Parents and Children 1 in Sweden 2 Researching Families and Paid Domestic Care 13 3 Parents Employing Nannies and Au Pairs 33 4 Nannies and Au Pairs Doing Care 63 5 Children’s Narratives of Nanny and Au Pair Care 91 6 Caring Complexities: Care Situations and Ambiguous 121 Expectations 7 Conclusion: Doing Nanny Families 137 Notes 153 References 159 Index 171 v List of Figures 1 Participating parents and their children, nannies and au pairs 26 2 Nomie’s ‘draw-your-day’ picture 103 vi Acknowledgements Our deepest gratitude goes out to all you nannies, au pairs, parents and children who so generously invited us into your world, your homes and your rooms, and shared with us your narratives of everyday life in nanny families. We have been entrusted with your stories and, while sewing them all together has not been easy, we sincerely hope that our efforts to treat your narratives with respect will be visible to you when reading this book. To each and every one of you, we give our warmest thanks. We are indebted to many colleagues and friends for providing support and encouragement, and for asking intellectually provoking questions, during the four years that we have conducted this study. Åsa Lundqvist has been our closest ‘critical friend’, always ready to share her immense knowledge, as well as a glass of wine, when necessary. The members of the research environment ‘Family, Migration, Welfare’, as well as students and staff at the Department of Sociology, Lund University, have followed us from start to end. Their expertise, advice and support have been crucial on so many different levels. We particularly want to thank our dear friend and colleague Agneta Mallén. This study has also brought us new friends. Lise Widding Isaksen and Lena Näre invited us to be part of the international research environment ‘North-Eastern Care Chains’, which provided us with critical support, as did the Nordic network ‘Significant Others’. Esther Dermott and Janet Fink came to visit in Lund, and their enthusiasm and encouragement made us believe that we could actually write a book. We have had the opportunity to present this study at many different venues, both academic and public, and we are thankful for all the constructive feedback that has been shared with us. Hayley Davies generously provided office space for writing at the University of Leeds in the autumn of 2017. On top of that, Hayley offered her critical eye in reading the final draft of some of the chapters, as did Catrine Andersson, Lars Eldén, Dalia Mukhtar-Landgren, Christine Roman and Johanna Sixtensson – for this, we are very grateful. Thank you Anna Lidskog for excellent transcription work, and Erik Nylund who visualised our data. vii NANNY FAMILIES The Swedish Foundation for Humanities and Social Science generously funded this research, and the Swedish Institute guesthouse in Kavala provided much-needed space away from home for writing and analysis work. Finally, we give our most personal thanks to the people who have been our everyday supporters throughout these years, who have been ‘doing care’ together with us: Oscar, Måns, Hillevi and Max; and Martin, Elise and Alina. viii 1 Introduction: Nannies, Au Pairs, Parents and Children in Sweden Nannies and au pairs in Swedish families? Really? The initial reaction when we began our research study some years ago was often surprise. One might have heard of Swedish girls going to the UK or US, or maybe France, in the gap year between high school and university, but who comes to work as an au pair in Sweden? Are there nannies in Sweden? Are not all Swedish children taken care of by publicly funded daycare centres? Indeed, signs of there being nannies and au pairs employed by Swedish families had occurred earlier. In the beginning of the 21st century, a number of scandals unfolded in the Swedish media regarding the use of domestic care workers in certain high-profile well-off families, testifying to the actual prevalence of these groups. In 2006, the media reported that two women MPs in the newly elected Conservative–Liberal government had hired several domestic workers over the years, including nannies and au pairs, all undeclared and at very low pay. The Conservative Party leader, Fredrik Reinfeldt, soon to be prime minister, had also hired au pairs, it was reported. The scandal – which included the testimonies of former nannies and au pairs about harsh conditions of working in ‘posh’ families in upper-class areas – led to the MPs resigning from their positions, less than two weeks after their commencement. Fredrik Reinfeldt’s use of au pairs, however, was found to be within the rules of the Migration Agency and of no liability to him becoming prime minister.1 A couple of months later, in the beginning of 2007, this newly elected government presented their first reforms. One of them was a tax deduction for domestic services, such as those provided by cleaners and nannies. The problem, according to the government, was clearly not the use of the services, as such, but rather that they were too expensive. 1 NANNY FAMILIES This was the reason why people turned to the informal market if they wanted to employ cleaners, nannies and au pairs, just as the two fired MPs had done. By making the informal market formal, it was argued, several problems could be solved (Bill 2006/07 no. 94).2 Work opportunities for the unemployed could be created, thought to be especially suitable for migrants and other groups having a hard time getting into the labour market. Most importantly, the lack of gender equality in Swedish families, prevailing despite decades of family politics promoting the equal sharing of work and care responsibilities, could be solved. The use of domestic services was no longer thought to be an exception to the ways in which families worked out their ‘jigsaw puzzle of life’,3 as it is popularly called in Sweden, that is, the managing of everyday life demands from family and work. Instead, the government proposal suggested that this should become a legitimate way of doing family. Swedish parents have for many decades delegated care to actors outside of the family as most Swedish children are enrolled in publicly funded daycare institutions. However, since the 1960s, and following the ideals of gender equality, the care work taking place in the private sphere was to be shared between mothers and fathers (Lundqvist, 2011).
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