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® Did the CAN LIGHTNING POWER THE WORLD? CIA Save P.35  $ ]Ï  WHAT’S THE Why does MOST AIRPLANES ANYONE HAS  = p.33 )Ì  EVER EATEN? P.14 * Ï ? p.43

WHAT’S THE PURPOSE OF A LAVA LAMP? P.35

CAN I CATCH A NEUTRINO? P.42 Is Sleep )Ï ÌÎÏÌÍ Ï? p.38 Who’s the

016 $ ' ÏÐ  ballerina in IS A BEAVER A FISH? (SPOILER: MAYBE!) P.13 history? p.26 VOLUME 15, ISSUE 6 6 ISSUE 15, VOLUME MENTALFLOSS.COM NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2 NOVEMBER/DECEMBER

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FOUNDERS’ NOTE DEAR READER, (A note about your final issue)

1 We used to have Muzak playing in our first mental_floss There’s this wonderful Calvin and Hobbes comic where office, but not intentionally. The former tenant, a dentist, Calvin is bemoaning that rock ’n’ roll is no longer a useful never turned it off. If everyone stopped talking you’d hear it way to protest. Rock artists sold out, he says. They’re no softly in the background. (It longer passionate or sticking it to The Man. So Calvin inspired some terrible dance parties.) suggests his generation will have to rely on something 2 Without a budget, we also had different. Fortunately, he’s discovered something truly to draw our own magazine art. A young and talented Winslow rebellious: Muzak. And as it flows out of his little speaker, Taft stepped in and fixed that. He is one of the best things he tells Hobbes the kicker: “I play it real quiet, too.” that could have happened to this magazine. (One of Mangesh’s early covers that If playing Muzak (softly)1 is the ulti- it’s not the last you’ll hear from Winslow improved.) mate rebellion, two nerds setting out us. We’ve loved creating a print 3 Toby and Melanie Maloney to start an educational magazine feels product, but fighting for space on were our biggest angels. like a close second. But we’ve been the newsstand and Pony Express- But we had others: Along with Tom Gallagher, Jerry Footlick lucky to do this for 15 years. When we ing issues to doorsteps are no longer and his wife, Ceil Cleveland, started, we waited tables and baby- the best ways to get you the stories were early supporters. Samir sat and taught as substitutes. When you want. There are more than 20 Husni and Bob Bliwise helped assemble a formidable advisory our shifts ended, we wrote emails to million Flossers reading and watch- board. And Felix Dennis and his vendors and edited articles till our ing mental_floss online, and for us, it team, of course, helped us grow 2 and sustain the print edition for eyes were tired. We were fueled by feels like there are so many opportuni- the past five years. the incredible love and support of ties for new adventures. We want to our families—that cannot be over- build a stronger digital community. 4 There are so many people to acknowledge (we’ve likely stated. Along the way, we convinced We want to find new ways of telling missed a few), but we owe an extraordinarily loving couple to centuries-old stories. And we want a great deal to our earliest print staffers Neely Harris, 3 become our investors, and a handful you with us. John Cascarano, Lisako Koga, of talented believers to become our So savor this magazine. Our Christine Hoover, and John 4 7 Green. We’re also indebted colleagues. With every issue, we felt remarkable staff worked so hard to to Mary Carmichael, Maggie like we’d gotten away with something.5 pull it together for you, and it feels like Koerth-Baker, Terri Dann, Jenny Drapkin, Jason English, Because we had—we had muscled a fitting ending. It’s truly one of our Ethan Trex, Stephanie dream jobs into existence. We got to loveliest issues. But when you’re done Meyers, Joe Mejía, Josh spend our days learning for a living. reading, come and play with us online. Moore, and Sean Turner. Unfortunately, the only But through all of this, the most We’ll be looking for you. pic we could find was of improbable piece of the puzzle was our short-lived office eel, Banana. (RIP, Banana.) you. We knew we could find great stories—there are centuries of lush Keep Flossing, 5 Another thing we somehow history and incredible adventure tales got away with. 8 just waiting to be plucked and dusted Will and Mangesh 6 In an early issue, we published off and told just so.6 But we didn’t the words congenial disease instead of congenital. (The anticipate that there would be so many Mental Flaw defended it by of you. It’s the librarians who pro- telling readers that we didn’t want our moms reading the moted us, the teachers who brought word genital in print.) But us into classrooms, the shopkeepers publishing 76 pages without who pushed us near their registers, any real errors is no small feat. Thank you, Sandy Wood, Kara and the knowledge junkies who kept Kovalchik, and Riki Markowitz. our magazines on their coffee tables 7 Jessanne has written about the (and by their toilets!). And it’s all those staff in her letter, but it’s hard people who used their voices to evan- to find words for how deeply gelize for . Thank you. gifted she and her team are and mental_floss how committed they’ve been to Sincerely. It’s you who sustained us, churning out wonderful issue and helped turn this little publication after issue. into a more ambitious one. We worked 8 Thank you, Duke University, to make each issue better because we for forcing us to live in the same freshman hallway … and for wanted to be better for you. letting us use your PageMaker. While this is the final issue of mental_floss magazine, we’re hoping

November/December 2016 mentalfloss.com 5 CONTENTS NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016 • VOL. 15 ISSUE 6

BIG QUESTIONS

Zebras: the new urban superheroes? p.39

FEATURES

35 36 38 40 42 44 The psychedelic Why algae and What monkeys How to get the Hints and tips Is the Internet standard you bacteria could can teach us government for becoming really a series should thank a turn us all into about pulling to pay for your a professional of tubes? An nudist for Martians all-nighters breast implants boyfriend investigation.

Why Bible translators have the toughest job on God’s green earth p. 46 PLUS: The most incredible story of the most amazing boat you’ve never heard of p.50 ALAMY (ZEBRA) ALAMY IN EVERY ISSUE THE INDEX

A L SCATTERBRAIN Akron, Ohio 31 Librarian superheroes 5 Alligator, political prop 16 Lobsters 39, 41 12 SCATTERBRAIN’S B Lord God Bird 18 GREATEST HITS: The fuzziest Ballet M fish you’ve ever seen, how to Political 26 McFly, Martin “Marty” 35 eat your bed, and J.S. Bach’s Underwater and nude 35 Microorganisms 18, 36, 59 A botanical epic hissy fit Bassoonists, belligerent 19 Moses, horned 48 impostor! Beard second 15 Mr. p. 12 LIVE SMARTER Bible, Wicked 48 Eat Everything 14 Bitter Ed 16 20 The laziest, most Electromagnet 41 N luxurious way to enjoy the Lake 37 Neutrinos 42 northern lights C Nixon, Richard 15 22 The world’s best (or most Canterbury Tales 48 O insufferable) mixed drink Chess, immoral 64 Organized crime 40, 42 Cucumber 24 Covet this bubble pipe P Cousin of watermelon 12 Pajamas, feline 64 Long appendages 39 LEFT BRAIN/ Patterson, James 29 Mosaic virus 59 Win friends and RIGHT BRAIN Pineapple 41 alienate bartenders D with this beverage. Project Sweet Algae 36 p. 22 26 When ballet was badass Devil strip, incriminating 31 Q Donkey milk 32 30 CSI for linguistics lovers Quakers, radical 54 Drink, dorky 23 32 Inside the bad old days Questions, big 34 E R 33 The CIA’s scheme to make Effete betrayers, British 64 Rigaud, Hyacinthe 11, 26 Americans love modern art Ellington, Duke 22 S Evil Special Interest Man 16 Shakers 18 GO MENTAL F Ships Why viruses get a bad rap Fish What’s the deepest 58 Stuck in a lake 37 anyone has been in Questionable 13 the ocean? 60 Protest with roller skates! Stuck in a river 50 STDs 37 p. 39 Snowden, Edward 44, 57 62 The Flossiest books (and Fluids T movies! and music!) ever Levitational 41 Newtonian 64 Tarzan 56, 65 64 The mental_floss quiz Non-Newtonian 64 Thalaikoothal 32 Thuggee 64 CDC/NATIONAL INSTITUTE OF ALLERGY ALLERGY OF INSTITUTE CDC/NATIONAL Forensic linguistics 30

G W Gimblette cookies 29 Wardrobe, bacterial 36 Gopher wood 48 Wombats, fat-arsed 64 H Y Half-baked lazy people 33 Yams, erotic 19 Herpes, benefits of 37, 59 Z K Have you seen this Zebras, life-saving 39 virus? Cover illustration by Ben Kirchner CARY NORTON (DRINK); STEVEN TWIGG (CAT); (CAT); TWIGG STEVEN (DRINK); NORTON CARY AND INFECTIOUS DISEASES (NIAID) (EBOLA); (WATERMELON) ALAMY (EBOLA); DISEASES (NIAID) AND INFECTIOUS Kops 31 Zippel fagottist 19 p. 58 THIS IS OUR LAST ISSUE! We’ve had a wonderful 15-year run in print, and that’s all because of you. It’s time for QIRXEPC¾SWW XSKSJYPP]HMKMXEP ]SY´PP½RHRI[WXSVMIWHEMP]EX QIRXEP¾SWWGSQ FYXFIJSVI[IKS[I[ERXIH to say a big thank you for reading.

IF YOU’RE A SUBSCRIBER, the remaining issues in your subscription will be JYP½PPIHF]The Week,SYVE[EVH[MRRMRKWMWXIVTYFPMGEXMSRXLEXXEOIWXLIFIWXMR 97ERHMRXIVREXMSREPRI[WSTMRMSRWEVXWERHMHIEWERHHMWXMPPWMXMRXSEGSRGMWI IRKEKMRKJSVQEX -J]SY´VIEPVIEH]EWYFWGVMFIVXSThe Week, your subscription will FII\XIRHIHF]XLIETTVSTVMEXIRYQFIVSJMWWYIW =SYGERI\TIGXXSVIGIMZI]SYV ½VWXMWWYISJThe Week[MXLMRXLIRI\XJI[[IIOWERH[ILSTI]SYIRNS]MX

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Join the 20 million+ fans who follow mental_¾SWW every month EDITOR’S NOTE THE LAST WORD

Growing up, I had this poster of a power-strutting Einstein on my bedroom wall. Stretching floor to ceiling, it basically rendered him a peer of Andre the Giant. For a young nerd like me, he was just that: larger than life. It was either fate or luck that, decades later, I got to work for the magazine that considered Einstein its spirit animal. And lately, as I’ve mentioned in this column before, I’ve been trying to get a better grasp on physics, so I’ve re- encountered our old pal. I was surprised to learn that he wasn’t totally comfortable with math. He struggled with equations, working backward from the projections of his imagination to fill in the data. And though he figured out an awful lot about the inner workings of the universe, he didn’t understand it all: He was known to preface his proc- lamations with cautious qualifiers like, “It seems to me … ” Einstein was a genius, not a wizard. He had limits, yet he wasn’t encumbered by them. Instead, he pushed toward their edges. He wasn’t just an explainer—he was a quester. A questioner. Questing has always been core to the mental_floss mis- sion. We love nothing more than an adventure story; if it begins with a question, all the better. This annual issue is a celebration of what we don’t know yet, of the delightful gaps in our understanding of the world. It’s with that com- mitment to exploring the nooks and crannies of human knowledge that we undertook this issue’s investigations: What did nudists have to do with the lava lamp? (Page 35.) What happens when someone is whisked into the Witness Protection Program? (Page 40.) Why are there pineapples on so many doormats??? (Page 41.) I also love this month’s feature (page 50): It’s the incredible story of what hap- pened when one anthropologist decided he’d had enough of simply studying the world, and set out (with his family and a “tricolored cat”) to sail around it—after first brush- ing up on how a boat works. All of which is to say that this is the perfect issue to end our remarkable 15-year run in print. (More on this in the surrounding pages, with important details for subscrib- ers right over there Å). I couldn’t be prouder of what we’ve done here. And I’m looking forward to continu- ing to do it: Even as we shift gears into new mediums at mentalfloss.com and elsewhere, we won’t stop questing. We know you won’t, either.

@jessanne

PS A quick thank you to the people who, for the last few years, helped me make this magazine happen: our incredible art director Lucy Quintanilla, big ideas guy Foster Kamer, and formidable whip-cracker Jen Doll. Winslow Taft has been our guiding artistic light for a decade, and my trusted partner in creative crime for five amazing years. Finally and foremost, I want to acknowledge someone whose name falls deep in the masthead, and who truly has been the foundation of this team: Lucas Reilly, a librarian-reared log-cabin millen- nial (and one of the most gifted storytellers I’ve ever worked with) who’s never met an unsubstantiated fact (or substantiated bear) he couldn’t stare down. I’m uniquely privileged to have had such talent at my disposal, and I count myself luckier still to have known you:

our loyal reader. ALAMY

November/December 2016 mentalfloss.com 9 CHATTER Letter of the Month As an almost-70-year-old grandma, I had Can’t travel heard about Portal but never played it. Then I the world saving hotels read “The Great Escape” [September/October without the 2016] and was fired up to find out more. Luckily, latest edition one of my grandsons lives with me. We found of mental_ Let’s Plays for both Portal and Portal 2. So floss! awesome! After that, I went back and read the @anthonyhotels article again. Just an amazing game, and thank [HE’S THE HOST OF HOTEL IMPOS- you for making me more Portal-versed! SIBLE AND FIVE-STAR SECRETS ON THE TRAVEL CHANNEL.] —LORENA ROYCE

I think mental_floss is the only magazine I WE’RE BLUSHING SWEET REWARDS ONLINE read every I’ve been meaning to tell you I primed and painted houses AT MENTAL page of and how much I love “The Index” that had been water-stained FLOSS don’t just in your table of contents, by the floods of Katrina in flip through. and the September/October New Orleans. If we did a good 2016 issue’s was awesome. job on any given day, our paint Why do So much Ponyboy, drowsy redheads, gang leader, Giorgio, would I cry? interesting and uses for different kinds of take us to a sno-ball stand, Spoiler: stuff! urine? In what other publica- like the one featured in your Humans are the @hillarythecool tion would those things be September/October 2016 only primates who do. together? Then I turned a few issue [“Try This!”]. They eas- pages, and wow. The layout ily and wonderfully restored and colors of the ROY G. BIV our hydration. They also gave Scatterbrain actually made me us some epic brain freezes. gasp, they were so stunning. Recently, I discovered an ice Kudos. cream stand in the foothills of The Alternate —Erin Welch the Adirondacks, Lickety Split, Endings of 28 that serves authentic New Famous Movies REDHEADED WRONG Orleans sno-balls. The owner 15 Books With In the September/October imported the machine from Completely Different Movie 2016 issue, you ran a “fast the Crescent City. He and I Endings fact” on how redheads need bonded over the cones and 6 Movies more anesthesia [Scatter- New Orleans memories. With Far More brain]. The medical commu- —Tony Busch Depressing nity no longer believes this Alternate Endings Loved the to be true. There was initially DOGS V. CATS The Scandalous some evidence, but the head I saw the submitted photo of a History of Arlington Innovative National Cemetery Teachers of research at Monash Univer- cat lying on a stack of article in the sity has since disproved it. mental_floss magazines —Kendra Dowling [Chatter, September/October current issue!  2016]. Totally disrespectful. I am thrilled Ed note: You’re right. We’re My dog read the most recent JOSH’S to be one behind on our backlog of issue with such focus and CORNER of the Anaesthesia and Intensive appreciation that her brain runners-up! Care, which ran “The Effect of was full and she had to take a @teacherwaukegan Hair Colour on Anaesthetic nap before she got to “1,006 [WE’RE THRILLED TO Requirements and Recovery Words.” Loving every issue. HONOR YOU, JULIA AHERN!] Time After Surgery” in 2012. —Monica Hoel (and Bonny)

MENTAL FLAW

We (correctly) congratulated Dawn Clevenger for being a runner-up in our Platypus Awards last issue. However, we mis- identified her state, listing her as teaching in Beebe, AK, not Beebe, AR—for Arkansas, where she teaches fourth grade. 

10 mentalfloss.com November/December 2016 Not all stories lead to writers hanging out in former anarchist VOLUME 15, ISSUE 6 | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2016 communal homes, but FOUNDERS NICOLE PASULKA did Mangesh Hattikudur Will Pearson just that while reporting on the radical history of the ship Phoenix EDITORIAL VP, EDITOR IN CHIEF Jessanne Collins of Hiroshima (page 50). “After hearing so CREATIVE DIRECTOR Winslow Taft much about life on the Phoenix, I both EXECUTIVE EDITOR Foster Kamer want to sail around the world and never ART DIRECTOR Lucy Quintanilla MANAGING EDITOR Jen Doll live anywhere without doors that close,” SENIOR EDITOR Lucas Reilly she says. Her work has appeared at The COPY EDITOR Autumn Whitefield-Madrano Believer, Mother Jones, and NPR. FACT CHECKER Riki Markowitz PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Steph Tan PROOFREADER Regan Hofmann HYACINTHE RIGAUD MENTALFLOSS.COM VP, DIGITAL/EDITOR IN CHIEF Jason English may be dead, but that EXECUTIVE EDITOR Erin McCarthy EDITOR AT LARGE Nick Greene didn’t stop him from SENIOR EDITORS Arika Okrent, Jen Pinkowski, Abbey Stone, Jennifer M. Wood painting an exquisite SPECIAL PROJECTS EDITOR Beth Anne Macaluso STAFF EDITORS Erika Berlin, April Daley, Bess Lovejoy ASSISTANT EDITORS Rebecca O’Connell, Caitlin Schneider portrait of Louis XIV’s SENIOR WRITERS Shaunacy Ferro, Jake Rossen gams for our story on STAFF WRITERS Stacy Conradt, Michele Debczak, Kirstin Fawcett, Anna Green, the politics of ballet Chris Higgins, Kate Horowitz, Kara Kovalchik SENIOR DIGITAL EXPERIENCE DESIGNER Emem Offong (page 26). Born in 1659, Hiacinto Francisco PRODUCER Colin Gorenstein Honorat Matias Pere-Martir Andreu Joan RESEARCHER Jocelyn Sears PROOFREADER Betsy Johns FACT CHECKER Austin Thompson Rigau was the director of France’s presti- DIRECTOR OF STRATEGY AND PARTNERSHIPS Taylor Lorenz gious Académie Royale. You can find his PUBLISHING work in the Louvre. VP, MARKETING Tara Mitchell ACCOUNT DIRECTORS Dan Figura, Molly Hollister NORTHWEST ACCOUNT DIRECTOR Steve Thompson Writing about Louis MIDWEST DIRECTOR Erin Sesto XIV (page 26) gave SOUTHWEST DIRECTORS James Horan, Richard Taw DETROIT DIRECTOR David Sauter GRETCHEN SCHMID SALES ASSISTANT Alma Heredia a newfound respect for portrait artists. “The INTEGRATED MARKETING DIRECTOR Nikki Ettore ART DIRECTOR, MARKETING Joshua Moore more I researched, INTEGRATED ASSOCIATE MARKETING DIRECTOR Betsy Connors the more I realized that tiny details—the INTEGRATED MARKETING MANAGER Caila Litman height of the man’s heels, the muscula- RESEARCH MANAGER Joan Cheung MARKETING DESIGNER Triona Moynihan ture of his legs—often signify something MARKETING COORDINATOR Reisa Feigenbaum important,” she says. She is currently AD OPERATIONS DIRECTOR Garrett Markley translating her first book, about The Little SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER Yuliya Spektorsky DIGITAL PLANNER Jennifer Riddell Prince author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. EVP, CONSUMER MARKETING Sara O’Connor CONSUMER MARKETING DIRECTOR Leslie Guarnieri It wasn’t just illustrator VP, MANUFACTURING AND DISTRIBUTION Sean Fenlon PRODUCTION MANAGER Kyle Christine Darnell HR/OPERATIONS MANAGER Joy Hart BEN KIRCHNER who was excited about this MENTAL FLOSS, INC. month’s cover—his cat PRESIDENT Will Pearson CHIEF CREATIVE OFFICER Mangesh Hattikudur was too. “I found a small VP, STRATEGY Ethan Trex frog in the living room CONTROLLER Arielle Starkman when I was drawing the cover,” he says. SENIOR ACCOUNTANT Darcine Denny ACCOUNTS PAYABLE CLERK Domenique Humphreys “One of the cats had brought him in—he GROUP CFO Kevin Morgan was very cute and sleepy, a bit like the CHIEF INQUISITOR Ian Leggett lizard I drew on the cover.” His work has CHAIRMAN John M. Lagana appeared in The Washington Post, The COMPANY FOUNDER Felix Dennis New Yorker, and, frequently, mental_floss.

mental_floss (USPS#021-941) (ISSN#1543-4702) is published six times per year, January/February, March/April, May/June, July/August, September/October, and November/December, by Mental Floss Inc., 55 West 39th Street, 5th Floor, New York, NY 10018. Periodical postage paid at New York, NY, and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to Mental Floss c/o TCS, P.O. Box 62290, Tampa, FL 33662-2290. Basic subscription rate: One year (6 issues) $27.97; Two years (12 issues) $45.97; Canada: Add $10 per year; International: Add $35 per year.

International Newsstand Distribution by Curtis Circulation Company, New Milford, NJ. LEGAL SERVICES: Jacobs & Burleigh LLP; ACCOUNTING ASSISTANCE: Stone, Avant and Co. P.C. Entire con- tents copyright 2016, Mental Floss, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Products named in these pages are trade names or trademarks COURTESY PASULKA, RIGAUD, SCHMID, KIRCHNER SCHMID, RIGAUD, PASULKA, COURTESY of their respective companies. Printed in the USA. Mental Floss is a registered trademark owned by the Executors of the Felix Dennis Estate.

November/December 2016 mentalfloss.com 11 A NOTE ABOUT THIS SCATTERBRAIN The Scatterbrain section has been a staple of every issue of mental_floss since 2001. To cel- ebrate our final print edition, we dug through the archives and picked some of our favorite Scatterbrain stories. Enjoy!

THIS MONTH’S THEME GREATEST HITS HAVE YOU SEEN THIS VEGETABLE?

DON’T LET THE ANTICS of today’s politicians fool you: They’re hardly the first people in office to ignore the facts. Few places illustrate the point better than Oklahoma, where, in 2007, the House of Representatives voted 78 to 19 to make watermelon their state vegetable. State senator Don Barrington justified the vote by saying the juicy treat is a “member of the cucumber family,” an airtight argument—except that, botanically speaking, cucumbers are fruits. But don’t let that news dampen your mood. In Arkansas, the South Arkansas Vine Ripe Pink Tomato is both the state’s offi- cial fruit and official vegetable. Compromise, right? ALAMY (WATERMELON, BEAVER) (WATERMELON, ALAMY

12 mentalfloss.com November/December 2016 SCATTERBRAIN

HOW TO EAT AN AIRPLANE GEORGE III: FASHION ICON SMOOTS: THE NEW YARDSTICK? IMPRESS THE LADIES … WITH YAMS

FUZZY ON THE FACTS

Early settlers of Quebec were just as pious as other pioneers, but these good Catholics had a tough time following the Catholic Church’s Friday dietary restrictions, since there wasn’t much edible fish around. There was no short- age of beaver meat, though. So in the 17th century, the Quebecois asked the church to declare the beaver a fish. After all, it lived in water and had a flat, scaly tail. Close enough, right? The church agreed, and the furry heathen got classified as a Catholic fish. Amaz- ingly, the beaver isn’t the only secular mammal that’s religiously a fish. Venezuelans can dine on the capybara, a large semiaquatic rodent, during Lent for the same reason. items like nails and glass, he learned that the incredibly items like nailsandglass,helearned thattheincredibly with moredangerous experimenting But oncehestarted andplastic. pulsively consumenonfooditems suchasdirt fered frompica,aneatingdisorder inwhichpeoplecom- Inan estimatedninetonsofmetal. suf- hisyouth,Lotito Over thecourseof40years,Frenchman Michelate Lotito A PLANE ATE WHO MAN LOTITO, THE 14

DIET TIPS mentalfloss.com ONE CESSNA LOTITO’S MOST FAMOUS MEAL TOOK HIM TWO YEARS TO EAT, Mangetout—Mr. EatEverything—without earningit. YOU DON’T GET 15 SHOPPING CARTS FROM 1978FROM TO 1980. 150 November/December 2016 AIRPLANE MICHEL MICHEL the nicknameMonsieur away, hemadesurecould eatacoffin. causes unrelated tohiseatinghabits.Butbefore hepassed eachday.pounds ofmetal In 2007, diedofnatural Lotito histechnique.Forperfected years,theFrenchman atetwo mineraloiltolubricatehis throat,he pieces andchugging affliction intoacareer. intosmall Bybreakingupmetal turnedhis to consumealmostanything. Soon,Lotito thick liningofhisstomachand intestinesallowedhim TWO BEDS LOTITO’S CONDITION WAS FIRST WHEN HE STARTED MUNCHING SEVEN TELEVISION SETS DIAGNOSED AROUND AGE 9, ON PARTS OF THE FAMILY SIX CHANDELIERS TELEVISION SET. 18 BICYCLES

RYAN INZANA SCATTERBRAIN SURVEY SAYS! GREATEST HITS WHO WORE IT BEST?

It’s a regal fashion plate’s worst nightmare: Someone else is wear- ing the same robes and breeches as you … and it looks better on him! We polled 100 people in New York City’s Grand Central Terminal to see who rocked these royal duds. 77%

Birth of the smoot

GEORGE III 4 Units of Measurement Stranger Than Metric 23% Useful units for useless measurements 1 2 3 4 SMOOT HELEN THE BEARD SHEPPEY A smoot is exactly Helen of Troy’s mug SECOND A herd of sheep is 5 feet, 7 inches— launched 1,000 A beard second scenic from afar, the height of MIT ships, so artist and is the average but the closer you freshman Oliver writer David Lance length a man’s get, the dirtier Smoot in 1958 Goines developed beard grows in one their wool looks. when he was the Helen system second. However, So writers Douglas used to measure to measure beauty. experts disagree Adams and John the length of the To launch one on what that Lloyd gave us Harvard Bridge ship, you’d need a length is. Some say the sheppey: the between Boston millihelen. Mean- 10 nanometers; distance you need and Cambridge. while, a picohelen others, including to stay away from Smoot’s fraternity could inspire a the Google calcula- a flock of sheep so brothers deter- man to “barbecue tor, say it’s five. they resemble cute HENRY VIII mined the bridge a couple of steaks balls of fluff. One was exactly 364.4 and toss an inner sheppey is about smoots long, plus tube into the pool.” seven-eighths of one ear. a mile.

FAST FACT President Nixon famously said, “I am not a crook,” but

COURTESY MIT MUSEUM (SMOOT) MUSEUM MIT COURTESY few people remember where he said it: Disney World.

November/December 2016 mentalfloss.com 15 PLAY THE PET CARD BE A DOLL: MAKE ACTION FIGURES No politician has used the pet prop as effectively as Vito Of all the unusual aspects of Battista. Running for a host of Jesse Ventura’s 1998 Minne- offices in New York from the sota gubernatorial campaign, 1950s to the 1980s, Battista perhaps the most successful made public appearances with was the introduction of an a pair of monkeys. He even action figure in the former paraded around Manhattan pro wrestler’s likeness. Voters with a camel claiming that just saw the doll in a campaign one more tax would break its ad featuring Ventura battling back. His Ranger Rick tactics “Evil Special Interest Man,” and won him seats on the state the spot helped propel him assembly and city council, but to victory. He managed to sell failed to get him elected mayor thousands of the figures, with the six times he ran. most profits going to charity.

HACK THE SYSTEM SNEAK IN WITH SNEAKERS When Georgia politician Lester Maddox defied the 1964 Civil When Patty Murray protested Rights Act, it not only boosted education budget cuts in the the segregationist’s political 1980s, she didn’t expect it would career, it earned him an ig- lead to a U.S. Senate seat. But nominious trademark. When when a Washington state legis- Maddox refused to integrate lator told her she couldn’t make his Atlanta chicken restaurant, a difference because she was his supporters wielded axes “just a mom in tennis shoes,” the to turn away black custom- former preschool teacher used ers. Using ax handles as his her footwear to rise from her campaign symbol, Maddox local school board to national defeated Jimmy Carter in the office. The shoe symbolism was Democratic primary and won so effective that she decorated the Georgia governorship. her Senate office with sneaks.

SCIENCE SAYS SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

WINSTON CHURCHILL MAE WEST

Dropped bombshells Was a bombshell

Brunette (before he went bald) Brunette (before she dyed her hair blond)

Favored dry martinis (His recipe: Favored dry martinis (As she said in “Glance at the vermouth bottle briefly her movie Every Day’s a Holiday, “You while pouring the juniper distillate ought to get out of those wet clothes freely.”) and into a dry martini.”)

Admired horses (“There is something Once guest-starred on Mr. Ed about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.”) ANDY J. MILLER (TRICKS); ALAMY (CHURCHILL, WEST, PAGODA) WEST, (CHURCHILL, ALAMY (TRICKS); MILLER J. ANDY

16 mentalfloss.com November/December 2016 SCATTERBRAIN GREATEST HITS TOURIST GOLD THE 14-KARAT CLIFFHANGER In Burma, a bad hair day could cause this religious artifact to tumble.

IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a world- class balancing act, the Kyaiktiyo Pagoda puts on quite a show. Perched on the edge of a mountain in southern Burma, the so-called Golden Rock is said to be held in place by a single hair of the Buddha. The thousands of pilgrims who visit the religious site each year show their respect and devotion by apply- ing pieces of gold leaf to the gravity- defying granite boulder. With any luck, the act will add a little balance to their lives. THE LINEUP 4 THINGS THAT HAVEN’T DIED OUT Yet.

WHAT WAS IT? WHERE IS IT NOW? PROXIMITY TO REASON TO DEATH? KEEP IT ALIVE

T T T T SHAKERS An 18th-century offshoot New members were last ad- Shakers invented the of the Quakers. The com- mitted in 1957. Today, there circular saw, the flat broom, munalistic religious com- are three surviving Shakers, 4 ½ NAILS IN THE COFFIN and the clothespin. With munity believed in celibacy all of whom live in Maine. Unless woodworking and any luck, the next genera- and held weekly dances to At their age, though, there’s abstinence become popular tion will handcraft a line of “shake” out the lust. probably not a whole lot of pastimes again, they’re in simple yet functional jet shakin’ going on. trouble. But who knows? packs! Knitting came back.

T T T T SMALLPOX Smallpox caused hundreds After being eradicated from Should the disease some- of millions of deaths during humans in 1980, the virus how enter the general the 20th century. Worse lives on only in cultures 2 ½ NAILS IN THE COFFIN population again, it may still, it managed to infect— stored in U.S. and Russian Viral samples can stay be helpful in creating new but not kill—a young Josef laboratories. frozen for decades. vaccines. Stalin.

T T T T THE IVORY- The cousin of the pileated The bird was believed Noah would’ve wanted it woodpecker that once extinct for several decades that way. BILLED WOOD- thrived throughout the due to deforestation. How- 4 ½ NAILS IN THE COFFIN American South. It was so ever, at least one male was We’re not biologists, but PECKER beautiful, it was called the sighted in 2004 and 2005 we’d be surprised if a lone Lord God Bird. in Arkansas. male woodpecker managed to produce offspring.

T T T T The biblically endorsed way Wooden paddle spankings Studies have shown it’s PUBLIC SCHOOL not to spoil a child are still legal in 19 American completely ineffective for states. (For the record, 1 NAIL IN THE COFFIN child-rearing, though it PADDLING you’re most likely to be In 2003, an average of 1,350 might be good practice for paddled in Alabama.) school paddlings occurred when little Jimmy pledges nationwide per day. Kappa Sigma Rho. RYAN INZANA RYAN

18 mentalfloss.com November/December 2016 SCATTERBRAIN GREATEST HITS

TEACHER’S PEST J.S. Bach: Well- Tempered Clavier, ill-tempered jerk HOLIDAY! CELEBRATE!

JOHANN SEBASTIAN Two International Religious BACH was more than a famous composer. He was also a famous thrower Events We Totally Endorse of tantrums—something one student in Leipzig REEK SUNDAY YAM HARVEST FESTIVAL found out the hard way. Legend has it that in 441, Saint Patrick On the Trobriand islands of Papua New After accosting Bach for climbed a mountain and fasted for 40 days, Guinea, a man’s power in the tribe is deter- insulting his bassoon after which he drove the snakes (a eu- mined by the size of his yams (yes, actual playing and calling the phemism for pagan druids) out of Ireland. yams, which can reach nine to 12 feet long). professor a “dirty dog,” Today, that peak—Croagh Patrick—is home The best yams are dressed in costumes Bach promptly retaliated of an annual pilgrimage on the last Sunday and revered as ancestors. While the men by drawing his sword. of July, when about 30,000 people climb are busy comparing their yams, the women (Apparently, the 18th the summit. Many fast for three days before prepare to ambush their favorite farmers. century was an era during embarking barefoot or on their knees. This On harvest day, Trobriand’s women, even which music teachers were sounds only slightly painful until you learn the married ones, are allowed to have sex expected to carry swords.) that Croagh Patrick is made of loose shale with any man they choose. They capture He then proceeded to call that basically turns the slope into a pile of their man of choice and drag him to the the student a zippel fagot- razor blades. Not surprisingly, the sight of yam fields. The men don’t resist because tist (German for “nanny- half-starved worshippers shedding blood Trobrianders believe copulating among the goat bassoonist”). Other up the side of a major tourist attraction is of yams fertilizes the soil. No wonder anthro- students intervened to some concern to Ireland’s tourism board. pologists call it “The Islands of Love.” stop an out-and-out duel, but the composer didn’t exactly apologize for his actions. When told that

he shouldn’t attack his FAST FACT students, a peeved Bach reportedly took a walk to calm down. Specifically, he A monkey trained to hold a cane hiked 230 miles to attend

ANDY J. MILLER (BACH); ALAMY (REEK SUNDAY) (REEK ALAMY (BACH); MILLER J. ANDY an organ concert. was originally slated to play Yoda.

November/December 2016 mentalfloss.com 19 northernmost swirling display ofcolorsinthe you calltheauroraborealis—that lights.Nonorthern matter what disco.” Othersknowitasthe Some folkscallitthe“celestial Light(s)! See the TO… WORLD THE IN PLACE BEST THE one oftheworld’s greatestsights. ultimate five-starconvenience for lights make anappearance.It’s the an alarmtowake guestsifthe 6:30 a.m., andthestargazerraises at11p.m.andends starts shift spotter’sto workforthem.The hired anauroraborealisspotter essentially agiantigloo—hasnow with roomsbuiltintowhat’s the largest“icehotels”inFinland, town’s SnowHotel—one Arctic of out lateatnight.That’s whythe come lightsoften problem? The the oddsareinyourfavor. One headed uptheretoseethelights, you’re ofthethrongtourists part ofHelsinki,500 milesnorth soif Rovaniemi, Finland,isaround especially duringthewinter. you aretoseetheauroraborealis, the locationhas,morelikely you go,andthelesslightpollution north atmosphere. Andthefarther hitting intheEarth’s electrons fromthesun’sof particles surface it’s aselusiveitisbeautiful. thingtoknowisthat the important called aurora australis. 1 In the Southern Hemisphere, the lights are are lights the Hemisphere, Southern the In The phenomenon is a product phenomenonisaproduct The 1 parts oftheplanet— parts

ALAMY LIVE SMARTER

FRANCE’S LONG ISLAND ICED TEA PUT IT IN YOUR PIPE AND DON’T SMOKE IT

THE ARCTIC SNOWHOTEL

Rovaniemi, Finland PRICE: €130 PER PERSON, PER NIGHT SEASON: DECEMBER 1– MARCH 31 arcticsnowhotel.fi 22 mentalfloss.com November/December 2016

1 The drink should be served in a pousse- café glass, which is like a cordial glass— tall, slender, with a wide mouth that allows the ingredi- ents to stay layered as you sip through them.

TRY THIS!

2 POUSSE-CAFÉ Duke Ellington wrote music for only two shows on Broadway, This peacocking cocktail packs a and one of them was titled Pousse-Café. potent punch. (It had only three performances.) BY FOSTER KAMER PHOTOGRAPHY BY CARY NORTON The drink you see before you has been derided by cocktail bible Punch as “the universal emblem of terrible customers,” described by famed New York bartender Eben Klemm as the “dorkiest drink ever,” and called “stupid” by cocktail writer David Wondrich. Yet the pousse-café remains an object of fascination. It dates back to the mid-1800s, when it started appearing in cocktail books as a kind of post-coffee 3 digestif (pousse-café translates literally to “push This pousse-café coffee,” and less literally to “coffee chaser”). It can be recipe includes (bottom to top) served in any number of variations, but has a simple strawberry syrup, construction premise: booze, layered on booze, layered banana liqueur, Campari, yellow on booze. This is done by selecting liquors of different Chartreuse, gin, and weights, and pouring them slowly over a bar spoon grapefruit bitters, and comes to us and into a glass—heaviest to lightest—one on top of via Eric Bennett at another, with the most delicate hand possible. Saturn Birmingham What’s so tough about making a great pousse-café, in Birmingham, Alabama. then? Well, for one thing, it’s time-intensive. For another, how can you make a cocktail that tastes as great as this looks? Some bartenders mix milk punch, green Chartreuse, pamplemousse liqueur, grenadine, and high-proof rum, while other recipes call for crème liqueurs and brandy. Assuming you’re not running a speakeasy, you can always try your local cocktail den, but do yourself (and the bartenders) a favor, and make sure they know how to make it first. Then sip slowly, and tip well. LIVE SMARTER PUSTEFIX IS AN ABBREVIATION OF THE GERMAN WORDS FOR “READY TO BLOW.”

THE COLORFUL PLASTIC PIPE IS IRONIC—A SYMBOL OF ADULT SERIOUSNESS AND FREUDIAN BOOKISHNESS TURNED INTO A CHILD’S TOY. IT’S ALSO RESOLUTELY LO-FI. THERE ARE PLENTY OF BATTERY- POWERED BLOWING MACHINES, BUT THIS ONE IS ALL BREATH.

GET IT! $11, shop.cooperhewitt.org