Published by THE INFOSHOP NEPAL

RADICAL BOOKS & LIBRARY

JUNE 2021

with RIS RECORDS BODY & DATA LADIES MOUNTAIN LEAGUE

Editor S Rai

Designer Bahula Maila

Website: https://infoshopnepalorg.wordpress.com/

Email: [email protected]

COPYLEFT: It’s really nice to acknowledge those who led us to treasures. I’d like to credit Sampreety, Shubha, or my brother for example. Please use any content from this , and if it is one of the links, a quote, a book, music or an idea you THE INFOSHOP NEPAL

SELF DEFENSE

ISSUE 3 2021 Page 2 of 43 SELF DEFENSE ISSUE 3 2021

THE INFOSHOP NEPAL with RIS RECORDS BODY & DATA LADIES MOUNTAIN LEAGUE

Website: https://infoshopnepalorg.wordpress.com/

Email: [email protected] Page 3 of 43 The is Love 5 Number One 6 Riz 9 Dana & Eran 15 Shubha 19 Mil 25 The Love for an Instrument 35 The Love of Cycling 36 Fuelling our Fire 41

Page 4 of 43 THE REVOLUTION IS LOVE This issue contains experiences and thoughts of people I love - dear friends as well as people I’ve known since I was born, their lives as Asian/ Middle Eastern people of colour who resist. We don’t often get represented by worldwide underground publications, neither are we usually the ones publishing.

Many of us may not even be visible on social media, aren’t in exhibitions, workshops, demos, gigs, or in physical spaces where you are. We may be putting food on the table, having to forge partnerships with mainstream entities in order to just survive and pay bills, struggling not to get co- opted, but needing to get paid. Some of us are switching jobs every few months and reinventing ourselves, taking courses in mid-life to add another certifcate to get work, trying to keep up with global standards of education as opposed to indigenous, fghting with the mainstream - in Nepal’s case - Brahmin mindsets, sexism, rules of employment, appearance, sensibility and humiliation each day just to be able to stay afoat, make a life, and raise kids in a hostile system.

The common factor in these pages are that some of us experience resistance diferently - our skin and our surroundings don’t always correlate with the people who, for example usually dominate anarchist or punk history. We do not follow word for word how things have been done in the West because even if we appreciate it, we aren’t from there. For people in Nepal for example, there’s no rights nor justice when the shit hits the fan - you’ll just disappear at the hands of the government. Most of us can’t be as charitable and dish out funds like others can, or barely manage our lives here, but we resist by forming beautiful friendships, creating safe groups or spaces, and making a zine or two to appreciate the wisdom of those we love. Then there are sisters and brothers who left Asia, resisting in other lands. We write our own history, as we do in the following pages.

It seems nowadays if you aren’t busy posting stuf online all the time looking like you’re ‘doing something’ - apparently nobody believes you’re doing anything at all. The truth however is that amongst you, even if you can’t see us. As somebody said with that kick ass song written before I was born… ‘the revolution will not be televised’. - S Rai

Page 5 of 43 1. NUMBER ONE

I talked with a good friend of mine whom I met in 2011 who is an artist and an out trans woman. Age is a professional secret.

Growing up/race/gender/personal politics Growing as a person with a Chinese background in Singapore comes with its own set of privileges as the Chinese are the dominant ethnic group there taking up a majority of seats in the government and making all the major decisions that afect all the other ethnic groups.

Despite white supremacy existing there as it does everywhere else, where we see many international businesses being directed by white folks, this of course sets the tone of what one can expect out of one's life being a non-white person. That said, it is essential to recognise the privilege of being Chinese there and steps should be taken on an individual, community, national and regional level to dismantle structures of oppression if that is one’s agenda. Easier said than done of course and digging into geopolitics is like opening a massive can of worms. And regarding gender, Singapore being a very straight jacket, ‘business is priority and progress means money’ sort of place, it is defnitely not an easy place to be if one isn't hetero-cis normative. Trans people were (and probably still are) completely invisibilized and I defnitely didn't meet any trans sisters in the 90s-2000s that were not doing sex work - nothing wrong with sex work of course but there is systemically something wrong when that is the only option one has in life due to one's gender.

Neocolonialism in art/music/subculture We only need to look as far as who directs the art institutions and festivals in Southeast Asia (I will limit the scope here otherwise the can of worms is too big and messy) to see that white supremacy is alive and well. And sometimes, what can be difcult is recognising white supremacy in play when the person in question is not white. But white supremacy and

Page 6 of 43 patriarchy does exist in many forms and also within many of us, it is a lifelong struggle of disentanglement isn't it?

First of all, people need to realise that the Eurocentric point of view isn't the only one around and isn't always the right one. It is just one way of perceiving a very complex situation. Secondly to stop taking up space that isn't theirs, and I don't mean 'give up' space because those spaces were never theirs, it was just taken and assumed to be theirs. Thirdly, to step down and step out of positions of power where they really have no role besides being a continued form of a colonising power. These steps also go out to all the cis-men and women who uphold the patriarchy by the way, they too have lots of blood on their hands. “FIRST OF ALL, PEOPLE NEED TO REALISE THAT THE EUROCENTRIC POINT OF VIEW ISN'T THE ONLY ONE AROUND…”

Once a feminist magazine came to interview us, the interviewer was white and the photographer wasn't. Everything went cordially covering themes of feminist issues in music and race. A few weeks later, we met the photographer again by chance and spoke briefy with her about the interview. She told us that after she and the interviewer left our place, the interviewer expressed to her with great surprise that she never thought the photographer would experience racism as she isn't black. Thus we are presented once again with yet another binary, in which a white person's understanding of racism is limited only to black and white, but the daily racist experiences of brown folks of Asian descent are invisibilized.

Where you live/how you feel as an ethnic/gender minority I currently live in , it is awful here on both counts. Despite the reputation as an open, liberal and progressive city that Berlin has, and in comparison to many other places it does live up to that reputation, but Page 7 of 43 that is just one very small part of the society here and it is still a very Eurocentric bubble.

The main diference psychologically and socially that you feel better about being more woman than man Psychologically I defnitely feel more at ease with myself though socially it is pretty awful to be a trans woman hahahahaha

Toxic masculinity is everywhere (even in anarchist or underground scenes). Would it help vast populations of men who wish to control their own compulsive violent, masculine, or sex-obsessed behaviour, if they took hormone therapy? That is a wonderful experiment and one that could have some positive outcomes! I defnitely do think it is quite helpful for cis people to take the hormones of the opposite gender for a short period of time, maybe 6-12 months, as I can tell you from experience it really helps one understand very intimately the inner workings of the diferent shades of the gender spectrum.

Preoccupations of your mind lately How to continue surviving in conditions that are leading to our extinction.

Tracks you blast out to make you want to rock the world or feel better I would put all tracks from Angkanang Kunchai actually hahaha but OK, I'll just put one from her.

1. Lam Sarawan - Angkanang Kunchai

2. Không Bao Giờ Quên Anh - Thanh Tuyền

3. Mother Jhan Who Cures People - Bobadin

Page 8 of 43 2. RIZ

From South Asia but grew up in Hong Kong; lived on a diet of Western hardcore/punk as well as mum and dad’s Desi music; been in bands for over two decades and continues to see limited representation of Asians in a scene purporting to celebrate misfts; created the forum Unite Asia, a monster site that acts as an encyclopaedia of all current bands and releases from our side of the world, put together by someone from our side of the world.

Hi Riz, when and where were you born? What’s up! Though I’ve lived in Hong Kong my whole life, I was actually born in Karachi, Pakistan back in 1976.

Some of us Nepalis have roots in Hong Kong, having been raised there with parents who were Gurkhas. In fact, two members of Ris Records partly grew up there. Please give us a background about your own immigrant roots, where your family are from, and what they did. Yeah - Gurkhas and Nepalis were a big part of Hong Kong history whether or not the current “rulers” of Hong Kong want to acknowledge it. My background is that both my parents are Pakistani. Both my parents came from very poor families in Karachi and according to my dad, somehow at 18, he was given a business opportunity to come to Hong Kong with a friend of his. I have no idea how that even would work when he was 18 (that would be like mid-1960) and somehow getting a passport and enough money to fy to Hong Kong with the fnancial situation his family was in at the time. Hahahaha...so I’m sure there’s a lot more sketchy stuf involved, more than he’s willing to share with us.

My mom on the other hand didn’t come here until after she was married of to my dad in a typical arranged marriage. By the time my parents got married I believe my dad had already been doing the typical South Asian import-export hustle for about 10 years. So when I fnally came into the picture my dad wanted his frst born to be born in Pakistan which is why

Page 9 of 43 my mom came back to Karachi to have me. When I was two months old, they brought me back to Hong Kong.

For the next 40 years my dad is still running that company that he used to feed, house and educate us.

Your childhood, youth, growing up in Hong Kong, and now My childhood wasn’t a lot of fun. My dad was a hothead, always stressed and would take out his anger on me since I was his frst born and he had no idea how to be a dad or how important it was to be a good role model for young children. As long as he was feeding us and putting us up in good schools, to him he could do whatever the fuck he wanted. So I used to get beat up a lot. Slapped all the time, hit with a belt and a hanger, etc. To the point that when he came home from work we (my two sisters and I) would all run and hide in our rooms so we would be safe from this fucking asshole’s wrath.

I’m a dad now and when my daughter hears me at the door she comes running to the door and opens the door for me and jumps in my arms. I can’t imagine ever living with the knowledge that my daughter was scared of me. What the fuck? He used to also be a prick to my mom in front of me and slapping and belittling her in front of company etc. I remember all this fucking shit like it was yesterday even typing this now as a 44 year old myself I remember all of this vividly.

The only reason I’m typing all of this is to explain my path to where I am now. I am a classroom teacher and have been for the past almost 17 or 18 years. I love working with young children and helping them see their potential and/or working with struggling children to fnd out what’s going on behind some of their challenges. I am highly involved in social-issues in Hong Kong plaguing what we call “ethnic minorities” (Nepali, Pakistani, Indian, Filipino-children) and use all my experiences to write the music I have written for the past 20 plus years of being involved in music here.

Are there any people farming in the countryside of HK like there was back when we were growing up there, or does HK import most fruit + veg from the mainland? That’s a great question! And the answer is that Hong Kong is actually mainly covered with green. I know that’ll be surprising to most people who picture Hong Kong to just be high-rise apartments etc. I would say, most recently, people have started to take more of an interest in moving away from the hustle and bustle of city life because fuck, it is STRESSFUL

Page 10 of 43 living in this city. It was stressful even before all the political stuf that has been going on here for the past couple of years. But even with that, people don’t really own farms etc because a lot of those farms are located in what’s called the “New Territories” which is still owned by very native people to those lands who have laws protecting their existence.

Do you support any political party or ideology? I don’t really support any specifc political parties because none really represent what I believe in strongly. Some of course are closer than others.

These past couple of years Hong Kong has pretty much been divided into two main camps: the “blue” camp are those who are pro-Communist regime, and “yellow” camp is pro-democracy. I of course align with the yellow camp because speaking my mind is the only way I know how to live as is evidenced by my ongoing social media posts, the lyrics I write, the way I live my life. I purposely only shop at businesses that align with my morals and ethics, and luckily my wife and daughter also feel the same way. We all know that though these more “yellow” businesses may be out of our way or not as convenient as other businesses, these businesses use portions of their sales to help with bail funds, legal fees, fnancial assistance for those who have fought for Hong Kong and have been thrown in jail. When these heroes are released from jail, these yellow businesses will also provide them with employment opportunities so they can get back on their two feet. “WE’RE JUST THIS HIDDEN GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT HERE”

I will forever support these businesses because as a punk rock/hardcore dude - I need to know where my money is going and what it is I’m actually supporting. Being a mindless consumer has never been for me.

Page 11 of 43 What's the biggest diference you see in the political climate back then growing up and now? It has completely changed - everything is diferent. When I was growing up, and even up to just a few years ago, we could say anything we wanted and make fun of any political fgure or political situation. No one was spared and that was the beauty of this city. The freedom we had to do all of that and be the only “Chinese” city that could do that was what defned our city as a bastion for freedom.

Since July 2020 with the enactment of a new security law, that has all changed. You can see it with the self-censorship and the way the higher powers are going after anyone and everyone that espouses any sort of democratic way of thinking.

Is it risky for you as an ethnic minority in HK to talk about what's going on? Is it any diferent for ethnic Chinese nationals? It would be risky if the city of Hong Kong ever considered ethnic minorities of any value. Hahahaha...we’re just this hidden group of people that no one cares about here. If you’re talking about politics specifcally, yes, it is much more precarious if you’re of Chinese descent. Us ethnic minorities won’t get stopped to be checked for protest related materials for example (getting bags checked etc) because they just think we can’t speak Chinese so they don’t want to bother.

Some of us are parents. Tell us about the diferent types of education systems one can fnd in HK. Much like most places around Asia I’d say that our “public education” system is the worst. It’s poorly funded, over-enrolled with students with classes having up to 40 kids per class, etc, the teacher’s don’t have ample professional development to continue to improve on their teaching skills by learning the latest research that would enable them to be better teachers and more understanding; the courses are basically built to encourage rote memorisation of facts so that the kids just regurgitate them out on annual exams, and then these stupid schools are banded together based on scores so there are diferent “bands” of schools. If your school is in band 1 that means you’re in a good school, if you’re in band 5 you’re in a bad school. What kind of fucking bullshit is that??? Imagine the impact on your psyche and self-confdence/self-esteem if your entire life you were stuck in a band 5 school? You would NEVER think you were worthy enough to be able to try to accomplish anything.

Page 12 of 43 I always tell my friends that whatever they can do, get their kids in Hong Kong’s “international” schools. Go rob a bank. Do something...get your kids into these schools because these schools are incredible in their educational philosophy and the way that impacts what possibilities and opportunities these students have later in life. “WHERE WOULD WE GO? THE UK? USA? ALL THESE PLACES HAVE HANDLED THE COVID CRISIS HORRIBLY”

How is raising a child under a.) cross cultural circumstances b.) the political climate there, c.) the pandemic? The pandemic is of zero issue in Hong Kong. Of course we have lockdowns and these stupid social-distancing measures, but all of that is NOTHING compared to the social/political upheaval of Hong Kong that has turned this city upside down these past couple of years. What has taken place over the past couple years is nothing but a tragedy materialising right in front of our eyes. The COVID shit is nothing compared to any of that.

Sorry to be so vague with some of these answers but I have to protect myself and my family.

Clashing ideologically with parents I clash with my own parents all the fucking time. My own parents very much believe whatever the government says. Every single word. They can’t see the hypocrisy and won’t look deeper behind some of the measures or the actions our government has taken, especially these past couple of years. They are not connected to Hong Kong the way I am because they can’t speak or read Cantonese and haven’t really ever stepped outside their circle of Pakistani friends to really have anyone explain to them the reason for people’s anger and dismay that exploded Page 13 of 43 here in 2019. Because of that, their only source of information is pro- government media either on TV or in newspapers. So they see one very warped side of the story and when I try and explain it, it’s like watching their brains short-circuit. They don’t get it which resembles the mentality of most people of the “blue” camp here in Hong Kong.

Have you ever considered moving from HK, especially with the current situation there? For the safety of my wife and daughter, yes. I’m just too outspoken and so it’s hard when I think about how what I say could impact my wife and my daughter’s safety. But the covid issue in other countries has really made this completely out of the question for now. Where would we go? The UK? USA? All these places have handled the COVID crisis horribly, and all their petty infghting about whether or not to wear masks or getting vaccinated and all the stupid conspiracy theories behind it has left us completely shaken. The way they’ve handled this resembles third world countries more than what they’re supposed to represent - civil, highly rational, science-based, communities. I haven’t seen much of that civility until most recently. It’s been an interesting time all over the planet…

Name your current top fve songs of all time, never mind how old you or the songs are Hahahahahaha...phew - fnally a lighter question! I’m not going to overthink it - I’ll probably regret it by the time you print this hahahahaha:

1. Just Look Around - Sick of it All

2. I Don’t Want to Hear It - Minor Threat

3. South of Heaven - Slayer

4. Unity - Operation Ivy

5. The Scientist - Coldplay

Any (famous) last words? Thank you so much for being such an inspiration to myself and others all over the world, especially women and marginalised folk. We need to keep reminding people that punk rock and hardcore ESPECIALLY should always be a place where people who feel, think and look diferent are welcome with open arms. I feel like all that’s been lost lately...

Page 14 of 43 3. DANA & ERAN

Over forty year old anarcho punk parents who didn’t listen to their parents, raising a child in a war torn land.

Intro We are Dana (vocalist of Dilema) and Eran (vocals of Rainbow Cobra), from a tiny country, stuck in between Asia and Africa, that for some unexplainable reason people insist has an importance to this world. Some people call it Palestine, others Israel. We are so old that Eran’s dreads are older than most of the crowd at punk shows, but young enough to still be able to join the mosh pit.

We’ve done a lot of things in our lives, but at the moment we mostly teach sexual education at schools all over the country and raise a vegan anarcho-punk baby.

Growing up, family tensions, politics Even though we come from diferent backgrounds both our families are Jewish and Zionist, which means that we grow up believing that this land belongs to the Jews and all the Arabs are trying to kill us. So yes, there were a lot of tensions… But you know, we were teenage punx so regardless of politics, we never really ft in normative society. And when at 18 years old when all Israeli men and women are supposed to join the military, we both said fuck you to the army, we burned a lot of bridges.

Growing up in Israhell you are taught to overlook the Palestinian population and to ignore all the atrocities done to them by the Zionist regime. Once you start to open your eyes to the sufering of others it’s not such a big leap to understand what we – people from Jewish backgrounds who live on a stolen land, are responsible for.

Page 15 of 43 The ‘confict’ where you’re from What we have here is not a confict. A ‘confict’ (besides being a life changing band!) suggests two somehow equal sides. What we have here is a classic case of a colonialist force coming to an impoverished land, and in time occupying the land, killing or deporting most of the local population and putting those who remained, under martial law. The Zionist regime has never attempted to co-exist in this land with the Palestinians. In fact it does all it can do to make Palestinians’ lives unbearable either through economical repression, systematic and judicial racism or by straightforward military force. “WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A CLASSIC CASE OF A COLONIALIST FORCE COMING TO AN IMPOVERISHED LAND”

What is a typical misconception people have of this ‘confict’? The three biggest misconceptions people who don’t live here have are:

1. That this so called ‘confict’ is too complex to understand (it’s not!).

2. That Zionism and Judaism are the same, and therefore any critique of the Zionist regime is antisemitic (it’s not!)

3. That there is symmetry between Israelis and Palestinians - meaning that both sides have responsibility for the situation, both sides have similar frepower and that both sides sufer the same (no, no and not even close!)

When visiting Nepal years ago, how was it for you to meet people from your country on the streets of Kathmandu? Most Israeli who visit Nepal and South East Asia are young men and women usually straight out of the army and what they want to do is take drugs, hook up with other European tourists, hike a bit and mainly unwind after spending 3 years in the army and maybe forget all the shit they’ve Page 16 of 43 done and been through there. When we visited Nepal we were in our mid 30’s , interested in meeting Nepalese (preferably punx) and getting to know your culture. So our interactions with Israelis were very few and let’s just say that we made it clear that we were not interested in any conversations with them.

Being parents, what are going to be the most challenging issues raising a child where you are? What do you think are the most important values children/people in general are lacking today? Wow, what a question! The biggest challenge to parents all over the world these days is raising children in a world on the verge of ecological catastrophe. The young generation will have to learn how to survive rather than how to live.

Apart from that, here in Israhell the far right politics have become mainstream and believing in basic human rights and equality to all regardless of race or religion is considered to be treason. Schools and even kindergartens teach kids Zionist propaganda and glorify the army and wars. We’ll stand against all that in our attempt to bring up a revolutionary anarchist child.

The most important values missing in today’s society are compassion to all (other humans, animals, and even trees and plants), mutual aid, respect to everyone but authority, good old fashioned civil disobedience, never surrender to fear and propaganda, critical thinking, and don’t be a part of oppressive systems.

Page 17 of 43 “THE YOUNG GENERATION WILL HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO SURVIVE RATHER THAN HOW TO LIVE.”

Three songs that lift you out of misery:

Dana’s pick: I can’t decide on Eran’s pick: single songs so give me anything by 1. Catch Another Train - Post Regiment 1. Inner Terrestrials 2. Thin Green Line - Oi Polloi 2. Gogol Bordello 3. Nepal Bandh - Rai Ko Ris 3. Nick Cave

Page 18 of 43 4. SHUBHA

Founder of Body & Data. Advocates: the right to digital privacy, an end to online surveillance, the right to sexual privacy, safe spaces and counselling for queer and trans folk, and eating heaps of juju dhau.

On Body and Data Body & Data is still quite young as an entity, it started in 2017. I had met this amazing brain, Indu, for a research project on online threats and harms faced by women and queer rights activists in Nepal in 2016 and we thought we should defnitely continue thinking and working together. Looking back, I guess I have always been inclined towards an anti- establishment narrative, either it be against social norms or state sanctioned restrictive policies. Of course, I didn’t have a name for it or / neither did I identify as anything specifcally. Only much later I discovered the identities such as feminist, queer, anarchist and the journey of association and disassociation took place.

On hindrances today as a South Asian/Nepali woman involved in socio- political change I think the kind of hindrance that women here are facing is already imbedded in the statement above – as a woman, as a Nepali with its own cultural and social baggage and then the intersection of that with caste, class, disability, sexuality and so on. What I have realised over time is, the national policies here in Nepal seem progressive, either it be with safe abortion rights or recognition of ‘third gender’, however the law still indirectly criminalises sex workers and freedom of expression and sexual expression is being infringed more; the legal system has many loopholes making the victim / survivor of violence difcult to access justice.

Well, the list can go on and on. At the same time, I think these problems are not specifc to Nepal - I feel, it is similar all over the world. I fnd it uncomfortable when people talk about ‘third world’ problems vs. ‘the frst Page 19 of 43 world’, it’s almost dehumanising, as if there is a certain type of normalisation of problems of people in ‘the third word’. Categorising the world based on North and South or ‘frst’ and the ‘third world’ also contributes to ‘the othering’ of agendas - their problems, their stories, their sufering. It gives an excuse for people in the frst world to let it pass, making it invisible, whereas we all know the problems in the South can be driven by what’s happening in the North - be it around climate change or reproductive justice. The ‘frst world’ nations are very much responsible for the problems in the ‘third world’ and should be accountable for it.

While I mention these issues women face in Nepal and elsewhere, I like to believe that resistance is taking place everywhere, and everyone is resisting, with or without them knowing. Some resistance leads to a social or cultural shift around them whereas some helps people stay hopeful even in a situation of distress. “THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO STEAL YOUR IDEA BUT THAT IS ONLY TEMPORARY AND IN THE LONG RUN, WE ARE ‘WE’ AND THEY ARE ‘THEM’…”

On envisioning an ‘enemy’ or ‘entity’ that we are fghting With any institution we name – police, state or the alpha-male fgure inside our homes, the imbalance of power is the main enemy: one person or group or institution having power over another who is at the margin or who is relatively disadvantaged to them. And humans love power, don’t they? The states have always been and will always be trying to control its citizens through its system, be it police, court or laws and they are always, always patriarchal and heteronormative. Now add caste, race and religion to that already flthy mixture. No matter how much humans progress in terms of infrastructure and technology, they never cease to fnd ways to exercise power over others, and the state institutions are going to support that. Page 20 of 43 Colonialism/co-optation/opportunists This is one of our favourite topics to talk about isn’t it? Colonialism is real and it still exists even in our own community and circle. It surprises (and sometimes there is hurt involved) when the people you think are your own end up disrespecting your boundaries and act against the very principles you had shared the bond on. Well everyone thinks they have ‘showered in milk’ - it’s a saying in Nepali meaning everyone thinks themselves as saints and the rest of the world isn’t. BUT based on mine and your experience we have seen there are also those who end up capitalising the ‘progressive, radical, feminist agenda’. The long history of colonialism and imperialism is also the present.

The feminist collective I am part of was contacted to get support to put together a project. The organiser wasn’t interested to put us as collaborators - we were just told to bring in new ideas if we want to collaborate. In the months that followed, the members of the collective were contacted for materials and other support, but neither the collective nor the individual members were credited for the work.

In a few instances a few journalists who had called me for interviews would use the content I gave them and made it theirs. In one case, a journalist from a national daily even copied the whole paragraph from what I sent her over an email. Upon my question for clarifcation, the paper basically removed the whole paragraph from the report instead of fxing the problem.

Someone from a European country who identifes as a feminist, queer and anarchist who was very dear to me at that time had asked me why am I living with my family and why can’t I have a ‘normal’ living on my own (as they do in their culture). The ethnocentrism they brought in was not only mocking my culture, they were also exoticizing it. At the same time, they were benefting as a white person in my country, where she would be invited in local festivities, even by my family. The individualistic way of living that the West has been teaching have made people feel that it is standard and ‘normal’ and that living with your parents is something ‘uncool’. The feeds the capitalism and does not allow communal feeling to grow and as an anarchist and a feminist they were not able to see it. But hey, the West is now so hype around communal living and chosen family!?!

Anyways, someone recently told me not to worry about co-opters and to not give up on my values. They might be able to steal your idea but that is

Page 21 of 43 only temporary and in the long run, we are ‘we’ and they are ‘them’...gosh that sounds quite vague but hope you got it. We might face disappointment and hurt in between but I guess there are also colours and clear skies we fnd around us. I have found that in people like you, you help me keep going. So I am going to hold on to the love around me and will try staying frm in my values and principles.

Bhaktapur Durbar Square area

The importance of sex and sexuality in everyday life as well as socio- political circles Sex and sexuality is such a broad topic, it can ft everything in the universe I feel and that is exactly why I think it needs to be discussed, dissected more. It is linked to the politics, from mainstream politics as a determinant of which party will win or lose all the way to the politics of everyday living and breathing. There is a lot to unpack here. There is enough evidence to show the inequality between people on the basis of their gender and sexuality. There are real-life consequences and risks associated with how your gender and sexuality is perceived and are framed by the very society and country you live in.

Page 22 of 43 As someone who believes that sexual liberation is imperative for gender equality, sexual liberation could mean many things, like getting to choose if I want to be sexually active or not, involved romantically / emotionally and / or sexually with another human, moving beyond the gender binary and essentialist idea while doing and saying things, undoing biases and judgements for those accessing contraceptives and safe abortion services, etc.

Even within radical queer circles, there are spoken or unspoken norms of who fts into the ‘perfect’ bracket of being queer and ‘a radical person’. Like heteronormative society, there also exists a ‘beauty standard’ and it doesn’t include disabled bodies. And there are ideas such as, you are expected to be into kink or into open relationships to be this ‘ultimate radical queer person’.

The queer community in a country like Nepal emphasises on assimilation into society and is asking for policy reforms around marriage and property rights. It really feels like we are moving backwards but again, this is coming from a privileged cis-person who can pass as a straight woman and has some work security, so I can’t speak for everyone. “I FIND IT UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ‘THIRD WORLD’ PROBLEMS VS. ‘THE FIRST WORLD’, IT’S ALMOST DEHUMANISING”

On bromance This bromance with you came to be mere luck I feel, and I am so glad I agreed to participate in that awkward festival where we frst met which was all about ‘celebrating womanhood’ - whatever the f*** that means. Ha- ha! I remember jumping listening to you and your band play. Seriously, I feel fortunate to know you and having to build on this friendship we have.

Page 23 of 43 Bringing The Infoshop library to Body & Data I think is a tangible outcome of this friendship and the values we share. We are yet to bring more people to come and use the Infoshop as it is in a diferent location, away from the city centre (and with the pandemic) but hopefully that will happen gradually in future. Body & Data is seen as a radical organisation among mainstream NGO spaces, among whoever knows us - and me (people call you ‘radical’ here not just for taking an anti-establishment side but even for having short hair and choosing to stay unmarried)! Having The Infoshop in one building just makes so much sense.

Inspirational songs I am the kind of person who struggles when asked for songs to pick. But here are some I listen to often:

1. Bright Eyes - feat. Alev Lenz

2. Shim El Yasmine - Mashroua Leila

3. Tum Ho - Rockstar

Page 24 of 43 5. MIL

I last interviewed Mil almost 23 years ago for an old zine I made soon after his book Chomsky's Politics came out in 1995. For all the many rad books, music and laughter he’s always shared since I was a child, he deserves better shaped cell roti during bhai tika.

Intro Aged 55. From age 20 to 40, I was mostly involved in nonviolent against war and militarism, here in the UK. From the age of 42, my main focus has been editing Peace News, a radical nonviolence paper/ project established in 1936, based in .

Getting into radical politics The most important infuence on me getting into radical politics was CRASS, the anarcho-pacifst punk band. (Later, they became sort of pro- violence, but at the height of their fame they were very pacifst.) Once I became politically radical, the most important infuence on me was Noam Chomsky, the US academic who’s written dozens of books on US foreign policy and media propaganda. My friend Stephen Hancock, who I got into peace politics with when we were at school together, got me into direct action when we were a little older. He is probably the single biggest infuence on me in terms of my political activism.

Stephen was a supporter of the Ploughshares movement, which is now an international movement of people who do direct disarmament (usually taking hammers to military equipment as a way of expressing the call to ‘turn swords into ploughshares’). He would stand outside the embassy of a country where a Ploughshares activist was on trial for doing direct disarmament, and he would ask me to come along. Stephen would stand on the pavement outside the embassy, handing out leafets about the trial and the action. A police ofcer would come along to tell us to move to the pavement on the other side of the road. I would do as I was told. Stephen

Page 25 of 43 would say to the police ofcer, very cheerily: ‘It’s more efective to be leafeting here, right next to the embassy, because that makes sense to the people going by. I understand that you may arrest me, but I’m going to carry on here. You do what you have to do.’ He never got arrested for that. (He got arrested dozens of times for other actions.)

Seeing that kind of disobedience right in front of my eyes changed me as a person. Stephen was frm, unwavering, immovable, but he was also relaxed and cheerful and polite.

Regards gender, race, religion and sexuality - how would you say western has changed from when you were introduced to radical politics? Wow, this is a huge question. I became involved in Western anarchism in 1983. That is nearly 40 years ago. So much has changed!

I think Western anarchism has changed least in relation to religion. Western anarchists were overwhelmingly anti-religion when I was a teenager, and I think they’re overwhelmingly anti-religion now. That’s both a hostility to God-belief and God-worship, and a hostility to churches and mosques and synagogues and organised, hierarchical religious structures.

When I came to anarchism, there was this tiny strand of , which my friend Stephen was involved in, the largest part of which was the Catholic Worker. It’s still probably the largest part of Christian anarchism, I would guess. The Catholic Worker was set up in the 1930s as a set of radical communities. They generally do both service to the poor (often by housing homeless people in their building as ‘guests’, not as ‘clients’) and resistance to war and injustice (often direct action/civil disobedience).

There are other strands now of faith-based anarchism, for example the Muslim anarchism of my friend Muzammal Hussain. Muzammal says: ‘My personal journey, is guided I hope by spirituality, by a Contemplative (anarchist) Islam, and the knowledge that Islam is intrinsically ecological....’

In relation to gender and sexuality, there has been a revolution in attitudes and behaviour in lots of parts of Western anarchism. For many younger anarchists, the most important dividing line between ‘good people’ and ‘bad people’ is whether you have the ‘right’ ideas on the position of transgender people.

Page 26 of 43 When I frst came to live in London, the second London Anarchist Book- fair was being held in a small room in a gym around the corner from where I was living. It expanded and expanded over the decades, from just being a few tables of books to being a conference with large halls full of stalls (books, , badges, T-shirts....). The book-fair was fnally brought down not by a fascist attack, but by a controversy over trans rights and freedom of speech. Leafets were distributed at the 2017 book-fair that many anarchist groups and individuals saw as transphobic – oppressive to trans people. Lots of groups and individuals asked for the leafets and the people handing them out to be banned from the book-fair.

The book-fair organisers said they would not ban the leafets or the people handing them out. The organisers put out a statement saying: ‘As anarchists, we feel “banning” and “no platforming” are actions that should only be used as extreme solutions and, while the leafet did cause ofence and hurt, we will only remove literature or people from the Book-fair in extreme circumstances and not just because we disagree with it or them, even if they do cause ofence.’ “FOR MANY YOUNGER ANARCHISTS, THE MOST IMPORTANT DIVIDING LINE BETWEEN ‘GOOD PEOPLE’ AND ‘BAD PEOPLE’ IS WHETHER YOU HAVE THE ‘RIGHT’ IDEAS ON THE POSITION OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE.”

Someone pulled the fre alarm and shut down the 2017 book-fair, and there was a clear risk that this would continue to happen at future book- fairs, given the free speech stand of the organisers. So they stopped organising this major part of the British anarchist movement, the single Page 27 of 43 most important anarchist event in Britain. (There are some other folk who are trying to organise anarchist book-fairs in London, but the pandemic meant that their frst efort was online.)

The gigantic expansion of the London Anarchist Book-fair and the way it was shut down, the strong-but-not-absolute free speech stand of its organisers and the simply anti-free speech position of lots of anarchist groups, all this tells us a lot about the way Western anarchism has changed since the 1980s.

Being a political writer and analyst, who has been your fercest critic and why? Being a radical writer and analyst mainly means being ignored.

The fercest criticism I can remember getting was when I was writing in the anarchist paper, Freedom, and someone very critical of Noam Chomsky wrote in to condemn something I’d written which had put forward Chomsky’s position. I responded by saying that they should apologise for their false accusations/distortions.

That was when I learned that you should never ask people to apologise.

I can’t remember the details of what he wrote in reply, except for these words: ‘My bleeding arsehole’ – in other words, ‘I won’t apologise’.

Briefy list why you went to prison each time you did I can’t remember the dates or details right now. The frst prison term I think I spent 10 days in Pentonville Prison in North London (further up the same road that the Peace News ofce is in!). I had refused to pay a fne imposed on me for some action, maybe for obstruction of the highway? Was it for an anti-Iraq war protest? Each time I went to prison, I think they bundled a few unpaid fnes/actions together.

The last prison sentence, I think I spent two weeks in Wandsworth in South London. Was that 2007?

I also did something like 36 hours in Wormwood Scrubs in North West London and I think three weeks in Lewes Prison in East Sussex. I think the 36 hours in Wormwood Scrubs was supposed to be a one-week sentence, four days actually in prison (half the time of for good behaviour), but I went inside on a Wednesday, and they don’t release on Saturdays or Sundays, so I got released 6am on Friday. Page 28 of 43 They were all for unpaid fnes for various protests, some for blocking roads, some for criminal damage – like spray painting anti-war slogans on the Foreign Ofce in Central London. “I CAN TELL YOU ONE OF THE BIGGEST MISTAKES I’VE MADE AS AN ORGANISER OF PROTESTS! NOT PLANNING FOR SUCCESS.”

How do you think prisons in UK have changed since you frst went in? Are they better or worse? I never went back to the same prison, so I can’t compare like with like. But there were big changes in the English prison system that I saw little bits of. For example, in Wandsworth, my last prison sentence, a thing had come in called ‘free fow’, which meant that prisoners could move around inside the prison without a guard accompanying them. I found that very odd, I was used to being lined up in a group and escorted from here to there, everywhere I went inside a prison. I had become institutionalised!

It was earlier, in Lewes, that I felt there had been a change in attitude from the guards, that they were less harsh and more human.

These are just snapshots, though, from quite a while ago. There has been huge pressure on the prisons because of cuts after the 2008 fnancial crisis. Things are pretty awful right now, I think.

Biggest mistakes people make at demos? I don’t know what to say about this. I can tell you one of the biggest mistakes I’ve made as an organiser of protests! Not planning for success. We would have in our publicity that we were going to blockade this .

Page 29 of 43 ‘We are going to march from the railway station to the base and then sit down at the entrance gate.’ In our planning meetings, though, we would assume that the police would stop us long before we got to the base or the entrance, so we’d be working out what to do if we were stopped here, or there, or at this other point on the route.

After a while of doing these events, we realised that, quite often, we were taken of guard by the fact that the police would let us reach our destination! We would be so unprepared for success that we didn’t know quite what to do.

So, in planning meetings, we started adding to the agenda: ‘Okay, for a few minutes, let’s just imagine that somehow we are able to actually do what we say we’re going to do – let’s spend fve minutes on what our plan might be for that....’

Okay, trying to answer your question (I’m guessing this may be true in Nepal as well as in the UK): maybe the biggest mistake that I see participants make at a demo is thinking that the only people worth listening to are the speakers on the platform. Actually, there are interesting people with useful information and experiences all around you at almost all demos. Maybe even people from your area, or in your line of work/study, or trying to do similar kinds of political action to you.

Try to go to demos in a group. If you’ve gone alone or there’s just two of you, and things look like they’re getting difcult, talk to people around you, try to form a group with them, so that you can look out for each other.

Do you ever think we'll see an end to prisons and policing? If we defne prisons as ‘society ordering people to be held against their will for the public good’, then I think that’s probably unavoidable even in a good society because, at any one point, some people will have mental illnesses or disorders that mean they’re a danger to themselves or other people. But the places they are held in can be much more like hospitals or communities or homes than concrete rubbish bins.

Most crime comes out of the wealth/income/power inequalities we have in society, so if we get rid of inequality, I believe we will get rid of most crime.

I hope we can get rid of policing as a special standing army. Page 30 of 43 Legal systems are, for the most part, there to maintain the status quo, including who owns what. The police are there to enforce the law and therefore the status quo, which means (in general) they are there to make sure the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor.

In a good society, we will constantly be discovering new forms of inequality and trying to root them out, so we will constantly be changing from the status quo to something a bit better. Having a police force would tend to get in the way of that.

So, the answer depends on whether we can create a good society without the inequalities we have today. I think it’s possible.

Has being of Nepali heritage shaped any of your critical thinking or the way you perceive resistance and international solidarity living most your life in the UK? I can’t think of any specifc way in which ‘being of Nepali heritage’ has shaped my thinking, but I think I would have had a diferent kind of outsider perspective if I’d been from a richer, more powerful Global South country. My guess is that Nepali-ness has meant, for me, more of an ‘outsider outsider’ kind of identity, which may have been useful in some ways, in terms of political thinking and trying to be aware of what’s happening to the people who’re being excluded.

Racism within radical circles The most hurtful thing any activist has said to me in connection with race was back when I decided to pull together an event organised by people of colour (I like this term). I went to talk to a Latin American activist who I knew, who I would have classifed as white, but I didn’t know whether he identifed that way, to see if he saw himself as a person of colour and, if so, whether he wanted to be involved. He said, no, he saw himself as white. Then he added: ‘You don’t think you are a person of colour, do you?’ I was so shocked, I couldn’t say anything. It was only later that I could think about what he’d said and the dismissive way he’d said it. All of the racism that I’ve experienced in my life is as a South Asian person seen as an East Asian person. The racist bullying that pushed me to the point of thinking about killing myself when I was 16 — all of that was dismissed by what he said, by his perception of me as white, and as a white person who couldn’t possibly imagine that they were a person of colour. I guess that what made it more painful was the struggle that I’d had to make

Page 31 of 43 confronting my internalised racism, how much I had accepted white society’s attitude to Asians.

There is plenty of racism around me, I’m staggered sometimes by how unaware even some of the most aware white people in my circles are. On the other hand, I’m sure other people are staggered by how unaware I am of their issues....

Hastings Pier, East Sussex

Being a foodie, recommend a diet plan for a 24 hour demo/protest I can’t answer this question. I just eat as much as I can, whenever I can, wherever I am. When I see the words ‘24-hour demo/protest’, it makes me think of the round-the-clock fasts I’ve done, usually outside Downing Street in London. These memories make me very unhappy. Fasting is my least favourite form of political activism, my least favourite activity of any kind.

Page 32 of 43 “ALL OF THE RACISM THAT I’VE EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE IS AS A SOUTH ASIAN PERSON SEEN AS AN EAST ASIAN PERSON.”

Favourite books and movies The frst books that come to mind are very serious!

David V Erdman, Blake: Prophet Against Empire: A Poet's Interpretation of the History of His Own Times (Princeton University Press, 1954). Erdman explains the revolutionary politics in Blake’s poetry. For example, in the poem we know as ‘Tiger, Tiger’ (actually ‘The Tyger’), there is this verse: ‘When the stars threw down their spears / And water’d heaven with their tears: / Did he smile his work to see? / Did he who made the Lamb make thee?’ Erdman points out that Blake had just published a pro-revolution poem on the French Revolution (called ‘The French Revolution’) in which Blake refers several times to the nobility as ‘stars’ with a ‘starry host’. So this verse is actually a reference to events during the French Revolution, and the defeat of counter-revolutionary forces. Another thing this book did for me was to connect the French Revolution with the American Revolution, which somehow had existed in diferent centuries in my mind, instead of happening in an interconnected way.

Richard S Westfall, Never at Rest: A Biography of Isaac Newton (Cambridge University Press, 1981). This book showed me what a genius is really like, what a genius is really capable of. They are like another species compared to you and me. It also explained to me how the Newtonian Revolution still hasn’t really happened. I don’t know anyone who really believes that when they move their arm, they move the moon.

There are so many Chomsky books that have been really important to me. By accident, I read Chomsky’s frst book frst: American Power and the New Mandarins (1969). I was a thoroughly brainwashed person before reading this; I found it exciting and gripping but I also thought it was nutty.

Page 33 of 43 It took a long time before I could really understand what Chomsky was saying, how disastrously bad mainstream media and academia are in dealing with social justice/international afairs. My other favourite Chomsky book is probably Radical Priorities (1981/2003), mainly because of some short items in the back, like ‘Some Tasks for the Left’. Honestly, though, they’ve all had a big impact on me. They’ve all challenged me in some way.

My favourite flm is not serious. It’s a Hollywood flm, Groundhog Day (1993), where Bill Murray is trapped in a time loop living the same day over and over again. This is a super-white flm (they actually cut a scene with a black cop discovering the body of the old homeless man, so I think there is only one speaking part for a person of colour, a black nurse at the hospital who gets maybe two lines). It is also super-heteronormative (though there is a very brief positive reference to Bill, a waiter at the diner, being gay – he replies happily: ‘I am!’ – I think this was probably a little ahead of its time in 1993 Hollywood). Groundhog Day is also very, very male – it just barely, barely passes the Bechdel Test of there being two or more women characters who have a conversation which isn’t about a man (the women whose car gets a fat tyre exchange four short sentences before being addressed by Phil, who is fxing the fat). The flm also doesn’t engage with any social justice issues (Phil looks after the homeless man in a charitable way).

Even so, I’m fascinated by Groundhog Day and I’ve watched it maybe 50 times. I’m even listening to a podcast where they discuss the flm one minute at a time. (100 episodes!) I think there are two basic reasons why: (1) A man who’s a jerk becomes less of a jerk. This makes me feel there may be some hope for me. (2) The time loop makes everything meaningless – there is no point to anything, everything will be wiped away and reversed and forgotten by 6am tomorrow. In that situation, Bill Murray gets to a point where it is satisfying to him to act as if what he does matters, and where he fnds joy in being of service to, and connected to, others, even though what he does is meaningless in a larger sense. Again, ‘there may be hope for me yet’. I used to say that I liked this flm because (I fnally realised that) it was a sentimental flm at heart, and (I fnally realised that) I was a sentimental person. So: sentimental existentialism seems to be my thing.

Page 34 of 43 6. THE LOVE FOR AN INSTRUMENT

Watch Purbeli Housewife at: https://bit.ly/2SJ8tNl

This flm was funded by a small grant from the British Council, Nepal, for the Women of the World (WOW) Festival, 2021. Shot and edited by Bishu Rai, with Infoshop / Ris Records.

Sushma Aunty is a housewife of Purbeli (Eastern Nepal) origin. We got together with fellow Ladies Mountain Leaguer Bishu and decided to make this small flm about her mum and how she goes through life with the help of a traditional musical instrument that is very much part of her identity.

Page 35 of 43 7. THE LOVE OF CYCLING

ASMITA My friend Amita is from the Terai, likes to pedal and started Peddlers’ Queens. I asked her why she loves cycling, since that’s how I’ve got to know her during climbing sessions and hanging at The Infoshop. English is not her frst language and I didn’t want to edit this because she says it just like it is, perfect in her own way.

I cycle to keep my freedom alive. Just like each role of pedal make cycle wheel on, every moment of my cycling makes me lively with my life. Pedalling has helped me feel love. I commute, I ride with riding buddies and I go solo. Cycle as life partner always stands by to go anywhere anytime with me, just in the return of little mechanical care. The more I care my wheel buddy the more I get back in healthier body. Along with the sense that my cycle is eco friendly, my buddy also saves my expenses silently making me richer ha-ha!! Along with all those numerous reasons to adopt cycle lifestyle, my cycle has also saved me from harassment chances on streets, gender balance and domestic depression situation. As an emotional therapist my cycle always leaves me feel happier & stronger.

Pedalling was not a big issue to a girl born and raised in Terai region of Nepal like me, but the same pedal was not an easy choice on getting shifted to capital city Kathmandu. Why so, was always a question for me? Was it urban road safety, gender issue, social class ideology, fnance, or else? May be all. Anyway just saving money to buy a cycle going against family permission was the way out I picked up, and my family had no option besides accepting my decision. Freedom started then is still live today and will continue till my pedal buddy is with me.

Page 36 of 43 Tunes I like to blast:

1. Jhumke Bulaki - Aastha Raut

2. Hamro Nepal Ma - Chetan Raj Karki and Manice Gandharva

3. Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman & Eric Clapton

Be Free

Page 37 of 43 PRASHANTA Punkass Prashanta was raised in the maze of dark lanes and tiny windows in the heart of Kathmandu. He talks about how pedalling has helped him stay alive.

It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve consciously been cycling every day. I used to just cycle randomly, enjoyed it but didn't do it regularly. Now I’ve been doing it every day because the roads are empty. I’ve been noticing how good and less stressed I feel. I wasn’t feeling good before, just being kind of scared always, thinking what if I have a heart attack and have difculty breathing? I just always wanted to be in my safe space just in case anything goes wrong.

I just started cycling around my neighbourhood for 30 minutes or an hour, just taking it super slow listening to music. It felt good so every day I started to go a little further just exploring, and soon I noticed my chest- aches disappeared and it didn’t hurt anymore. So I started going even further and within maybe two weeks, I noticed I’m not as angry/stressed as I used to be, now it’s easier to say ‘forget about it’.

One day it just randomly hit me, cycling or working out releases serotonin - maybe that’s why I don’t feel as anxious. So, I started researching this shit more. I’m usually in a “brain freeze” mode when it comes to work, but this - I was doing it naturally and it didn’t feel like I was making an efort. I was watching a video of how it all worked which I had watched years ago but forgot it existed. It explained how chronic stress day in and day out triggers fear in our brain. It made me realise just why the hell I’ve been so scared all the time for almost fve years now.

The solution it gave me was meditation and exercise. I know this but why haven’t I been doing it? I don’t know. Clouded mind.

I was prescribed fuoxetine (Prozac) back in 2017, the doc said I had chronic anxiety because I was having panic attacks all the time, but I never took the meds because I was scared! The meds I was prescribed was a SSRI (selective serotonin re-intake inhibitor) - a drug that maintains your serotonin so you're calmer. This time it just hit me, maybe my head was clearer from cycling every day. If cycling releases serotonin, then it basically does what the drug does.

Page 38 of 43 I’ve been getting my dose of the chemical from cycling every day, and that explains why I’m less stressed and more grounded and calmer, even in situations where I would literally shut down and couldn't think at all (which was basically every situation!) and now it doesn’t afect me, I can't be bothered.

I was doing good and less stressed for a while then had to stop for a week because we were not allowed to go out due to lockdown. I noticed I was getting more angry and stressed - serotonin was going down! And then I started cycling again, noticing how the cops didn’t hassle me, and now I can just clearly see that it really helps me, I can almost feel the serotonin dripping in my brain and it feels so good, it kind of erases the crap in my head and helps me think and analyse clearly.

It’s been maybe four or fve weeks doing this every day going further every day and my stress is so low even in situations where I would just feel like killing myself. I cycle because I love it and even when I’m lazy I do a short round just to release the negativity. I go further and further each day, leaving all the crap I don’t need behind, blast my earphones and just ride.

Apparently, it only gets easier and you want more and more. Going in to nature used to scare me. Now when I’m away from the city I don’t even listen to anything - I just ride listening to nature, I'm more present and don’t need to be distracted.

Anyway, things have been all over the place for me, I was always exhausted, just wanted to sleep, everything felt like work - even keeping a journal, doing laundry, cleaning my room sometimes feels like it takes so much energy that I don’t have…forget about writing something like this! Now when I'm cycling I’m singing my heart out going as fast as I can, I found a really good way to deal with all my frustrations and whirlpool of thoughts. I'm always swearing when I begin and after a while, I'm all calm and just let it go. I'm so glad I cracked this puzzle and now know how to release my frustrations in my own way which works for me. I’m even thinking about cycling to Pokhara or even Jomsom even though getting out of bed feels too much! Anyway the point is I feel like I can and I want to and it hasn’t hit me that I can have a heart attack in the midst of it all and die. Cycling has really lowered my feelings of being paranoid and scared.

Page 39 of 43 I am going to keep doing this every day while I can because it will end soon. Once the lockdown ends it’ll be impossible to cycle every day, though I’m planning to do it at night which is also super awesome. I just want to keep going further and further and don’t want it to stop because it brings silence in my brain, fnally. I should and will continue this to stay sane to not feel like blowing up every day.

I want to thank my friend Sunil for letting me use his bicycle, I don’t even have one of my own, maybe that’s one of the reasons I didn’t/couldn't do it before. And thank you guys for suggesting I should write this. This is my frst time writing this kind of stuf - I didn’t know where to start and where to end, but it is progress because I’ve said ‘No’ so many times to so many people just because I was so dysfunctional all the time.

I have so much in my head but when it comes to putting it down, it’s such an efort and the brain just freezes. Saying “Sorry, I can't”, is so much easier. But this time I to myself, “Yeah, why not - let's do it,” thanks to cycling and good timing. I hope I'll be able to keep doing this and remember how cycling is a really, really good way to vent shit out and have a clearer vision but all that only if the trafc and the pollution is low, which it won’t be for long...so yeah let's hope I'll fgure this out. I also hope people will do it more often as well, if it works for them. Just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Thanks for letting me write this piece.

Here are some of my top plays from my playlist that I usually blast out when I’m cycling:

1. The Passenger - Iggy Pop

2. Near DT, MI - Black Midi

3. Dancing with Myself - Generation X

4. Poison Heart - Ramones

5. I Need Drugs - Necro

Page 40 of 43 8. FUELLING OUR FIRE

We would like to recommend the following links for general info. Then there are a lots of links for all those caught in cultural chaos and who have mainly seen the West from a white narrative. It may help some of us who have to work closely with those from the West to validate or explore uncomfortable issues that are there but we don’t know how to name. These links also reveal how minorities have resisted elsewhere and how the West was really ‘won’, which is the stuf we don’t always get to know about out here because of the way media is controlled.

This issue was made possible by listening to The Midlands Roots Explosion Volume One and Volume Two on repeat. We can’t write a better review of it than this - https://bit.ly/3zxrRh0 FILMS

The Front Line (TV Series The Kumars at No. 42 (TV Series 1984-85) 2001-2006)

Mississippi Masala (1991) Anita and Me (2002)

Bhaji on the Beach (1993) The Indian Doctor (TV Series 2010-2013) Goodness Gracious Me (TV Series 1998-2015) West is West (2010)

East is East (1999) Songs My Brother Taught Me (2015)

Page 41 of 43 Marshall (2017) Blinded by the Light (2019)

The Rider (2017) Small Axe (TV Mini Series 2020) In My Blood it Runs (2019) Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

LINKS - VIDEOS/ARTICLES

‘We are witnessing a crime Dear White Women: Here’s Why against humanity’: Arundhati Roy It’s Hard to Be Friends With You on India’s Covid catastrophe https://bit.ly/35vk1qv https://bit.ly/3vC6Tui Fleshing Out the Work of Black How COVID Spiraled Out Of Women During the Civil Rights Control In Nepal Era https://n.pr/3q5lRHW https://bit.ly/3wBXB2t

Chandra Mohanty's 'Under ‘I promised Brando I would not Western Eyes’ touch his Oscar’: the secret life of https://bit.ly/3wDRlrg Sacheen Littlefeather https://bit.ly/3iRlD5x How to Think About Empire Judith Butler Wants Us to https://bit.ly/2S7vg5n Reshape Our Rage https://bit.ly/3zzZbUu Meme-ifying a Movement: The Social Media Response to On Transnational Feminist Breonna Taylor’s Death and the Solidarity: The Case of Angela Pitfalls of Social Media Activism Davis in Egypt ‘It’s about time’: the black and https://bit.ly/3xya3QS Asian bands ‘decolonising’ British indie Why Is Mainstream Media https://bit.ly/3vD6UOm Choosing to Silence Us? https://bit.ly/3zzZxui

Page 42 of 43 Radical Commitments | Keynote Cross Lake: “This Is Where I Live” by Angela Davis || Radclife - The Fifth Estate Institute https://bit.ly/3gJx9NM https://bit.ly/3iPlzDv

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