24 May 1999

KEEP THE CAT FREE EST 1949

The Students' Newspaper at Imperial College Imperial Staff Will Strike Tomorrow

Members of the Association of Uni By Ed Sexton be given to student hardship funds at versity Teachers (AUT), which includes Imperial, an action which could be the majority of Imperial's academic later this term. Ms Laura Barker, IC's that strikers would merely "seek to per seen as an attempt at compensation staff, are to strike tomorrow, Tuesday AUT president, hoped "that the stu suade peacefully". for the disruption. 25 May. The strike is likely to effect lec dents do not come in that day", as a The strike action has the support of It is unlikely that the strike on its tures and examinations, as well as dis sign of support for the strikers, adding the National Union of Students (NUS), own will achieve the AUT's objectives. rupting other services throughout that she "will stand behind students as well as other unions representing Ms Barker agreed, describing it as "a college. The strike, which is the result who skip exams", suggesting the col university staff. In a letter dated 10 demonstrative action - the start of a of an ongoing pay dispute, will only lege could successfully reschedule May from NUS President Andrew process". That "process" is likely to affect the South Kensington campus, them. David Hellard, ICU President, Pakes, to the AUT, he described the involve a four day boycott of exami as clinical staff have received a differ was more wary, suggesting that if stu 3.5% salary increase that had been nation administration in June, which ent pay settlement to other acade dents had exams or other essential offered to AUT members as "a derisory could further disrupt students' exams, mics. work to do, then they should come in pay offer". The letter continued; "I have and action during the hectic recruit As Felix went to press, the scale of to college. On a more conciliatory note every faith in you and your union that ment period in late summer. the strike's effects was unknown. It is he added "if you don't need to come you will do your utmost to minimise possible that some or all of tomor in, I wouldn't bother, as a sign of com the impact of this action on students row's examinations will go ahead, with radeship". Students will not be pre at exam time." Ms Barker agreed, the college finding alternative exam vented from entering the campus and, emphasising "students aren't our tar More on the strike on page 2 iners. Alternatively, the day's acade although it is likely that there will be get". She went on to explain plans for and on page 5 mic work could be rescheduled for picket lines, Ms Barker assured Felix the pay deducted from striking staff to

London Student Blows Up a Storm Inside...

London Student, the newspaper serving By Mansoor Choudhury mented, "If... Matt was trying to get it Letters - TravelcardTrouble 4 the students of the University of Lon censored, it was pressure from above". Pit Stop Challenge don, was threatened with legal action wrote a letter to London Student, pub He also added that he believed in the Ball Ticket Prices as a result of an article published in lished in May 14 issue, criticising the freedom of the press and concurred CM Foods their issue of April 30. Professor Zellick, article as being "somewhat misleading" with what had been stated in the Lon Internet Rules the Vice Chancellor of the University of in its criticism of Professor Zellick since don Student article. Praise for Hellard London, allegedly threatened to sue he had not been Vice Chancellor when Matt Hyde dimissed allegations London Student and its editor, as well the Education Act was drafted, when an that he tried to stop the release of the as the University of London Union, in exemption from cross-campus ballots issue in question as "unsubstantiated Editorial -AUTStrike 5 response to the article, entitled "Mad for ULU should have been obtained. rumours"; Professor Zellick was unavail Prof Demands Barmy ULU Ballots". Dave Hellard ICU President com able for comment. Columns-Matt Salter 6 The article in question reported that he had caused some disturbance in Feature - Cycling in Nepal 8 union circles with his judgement that the recently held ULU elections "didn't MAO PROF DEMANDS Opinion - Cannabis 10 comply" with the Education Act. Pro fessor Zellick ruled that all future elec Film - Best Laid Plans 1 7 tions to ULU posts had to be done with DARMY OLD BALLOTS a cross-campus ballot. This was widely Music - Mishka's debut album 12 criticised as being impractical, too Senate cWef sats expensive (estimated cost £60,000) and Clubscene -Trance Nation 14 logistically horrendous, since over 100.000 must rote 100,000 students would need to be GameS - Tank Racer 16 polled.

According to one source the cur Sport - Cricket 1 9 rent ULU president and publisher of

London Student, Matt Hyde, was pres Crossword - by Sheep 20 sured by Professor Zellick to withdraw that issue of London Student. Mr Hyde The offending article disputed the practicality of the VC's proposals Competition Results 20 2 News 24 May 1999 Nightline to Hold Band Night

On June 1 ULU and London Nightline Roger, are supporting. a confidential listening and practical are holding a band night at ULU with XFM are sponsoring the event, Information service from 6pm to 8am all proceeds going to London Night- with DJ John Kennedy playing a set. every night of term. It has been run line. Coldplay, an up and coming Indie The evening will finish off with sets ning for 28 years, originally starting in 24 May 1999 band, are headlining the event; their from student Djs until closing at 2am. response to a number of student sui first single received critical acclaim Tickets will cost £3 for students in cides here at Imperial. Covering 31 Editor: Ed Sexton from much of the music press, and advance (ULU ticketline 0171 664 institutions across London, Nightline Films Editor: David Roberts they recently supported Catatonia for 2030), or £4 on the door (non-students provides a service for 150,000 students. News Editor.- Andy Oforl Radio 1. All the band members are £5/£6). For further information about the Music Editors: Dennis Patrickson London students and this will be the The event is being held to publi bandnight or about London Nightline & Jason Ramanathan first gig they play after completing cise and raise money for London call 01 71 636 71 95 or email coordina- Games Editor: Gary Smith their finals. Two more student bands, Nightline, a telephone helpline run by [email protected] Sports Editor: Gus Paul The Fantastic Super Foofs and Hal and students for students. Nightline offers Clubscene: Giles Morrison, Gurminder Marwaha & Joel Lewis Want to Join an LT Hunt? Behind the Pay Dispute

Last Monday was a itself displays a three- The reasons for the union will be special day for any By Suilll Rao dimensional graphi tomorrow's strike By Ed Sexton open, and will publi body with any sort of cal display portraying stretch back to a pay cise the strike as and interest in "aliens", it was the inauguration a chart of the signal; participants also dispute that has been ongoing for sev when necessary. He also offered moral of SETI@home ("SETI = Search for Extra-Ter have the opportunity to view a map dis eral months, and were outlined in last support to the AUT, thinking "they've restrial Intelligence"). The ambitious pro playing the area of sky being analysed at week's issue of Felix. In a letter to David got a just reason [for striking]... they ject Involves thousands of volunteers the time. Hellard Ms Barker explained "the aim of aren't getting paid enough." Ms Barker downloading, installing and running a The data recorded from the Arecibo this action is to persuade the employers urged students and ICU to do more, screensaver that processes a chunk of Observatory telescope is essentially to improve their offer of a 3.5% salary however; "I would hope that Dave could data from the massive Arecibo telescope placed onto 35 gigabyte tapes daily- these increase." According to AUT ptess give more active support... we would in Puerto Rico, the largest radio tele tapes are then mailed all the way to releases, average earnings in Britain have welcome the support of ICU". scope in the world. SETI@home will run Berkeley where they are split into down increased 40% in real terms (i.e. above Clearly most students are unlikely for a period of two years, analysing a sec loadable chunks about a quarter of a inflation) in the past eighteen years, to support the strike by boycotting tion of the sky. Scientists and engineers megabyte each in size. Fundamentally, while academics have only seen a 3.1% exams. Ms Barker appealed to those stu attached to SERENDIP - Search for Extrater the project involves a search for strong increase. In contrast, vice-chancellors' dents to "look at the bigger picture", restrial Radio Emissions from Nearby singals in a narrow band, and will analyse have seen their pay increase by 7% a suggesting that the quality of future stu Developed Populations - have pioneered signals an order of magnitude weaker year for the past three years. dents' education could suffer if the pay this project based on their belief that than any previously done. Measures are Anothet issue of importance to dispute was not resolved. Given that fur the best chance we have of discovering in place to detect deliberate forgeries Imperial AUT members is London weight ther action is planned for the next aca lifeforms on other planets lies in the and any "positive" results noted will be ing, a system that attempts to compen demic year she may well be right, but analysis of radio signals; as the website checked back at Berkeley, though, of sate London academics for increased whether or not that means students for the project proclaims, "there's a small course, the user on whose system any living costs in the capital. There has been should actively support the strikers is a but captivating possibility that your com discovery is made will be credited as a co- no increase in this figure since 1992. Ms difficult question, and one each student puter will detect the faint murmur of a civ discoverer. Barker voiced London academics' con will have to answer for him or herself ilization beyond Earth". Those working on the project hope cerns; "we are angry that the employers The program has been designed to that by the time SETI@home has run its refuse even to discuss this element of run as a screensaver in order to ensure course, better approaches and newer our pay claim." Imperial College Union's that it does not eat into volunteer users' telescopes will have been made avail A third sword in the AUT's attack "work time" (it is also available as an ordi able. As Louis Friedman of the Planetary concerns the amounts examiners are nary program with no graphics that com Society says, this is the first time ever in paid. According to a news release dated Annual General putes all the time), and runs on PCs, the history of the human race that the 29 April, over 17% of external examiners Macs and various other formats. For secu opportunity has been made available for are paid less than £3.60 an hour, a fig Meeting rity, the server from which the screen anybody anywhere in the world to join ure which prompted David Triesman, saver can be downloaded has been kept "the scientific search for intelligent beings the AUT's General Secretary, to com separate from the data server, which elsewhere in our universe". Many might ment "you can get more for responding will take place on does not feed out any executable code, be sceptical but as Dan Wertheimer, Chief to the words 'Big Mac and French Fries' moreover, the software can be set to Scientist for the project puts it, "you can than to the words of a learned science Friday 28 May at 1 pm In the request permission from the user before argue all day, but unless you do the PhD." posting the results of any tests; the results search, you will never know". The decision facing students is Union Dining Hall. can also be sent automatically the next The SETIOhome home page is at whether to support the strike by staying time the user is online. Enough data can http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/, while at home, and thus risk penalisation from be downloaded via a 28.8k connection in the paper from 1997 announcing the college for missed exams or deadlines, ALL students are welcome five minutes to keep the average PC project can be found at http://setiath- or to pass the picket lines and come busy for a few days. The screensaver ome.ssl.berkeley.edu/woody_paper.html. into college. David Hellard has said that and encouraged to attend.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB Internal tel: 58072 Internal fax: 48072 External tel & fax: 0171 594 8072 URL: www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix E-mail: [email protected] Printed at MCP Litho Limited, Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, 16 -16a Baldwins Gardens, London EC1N 7RJ Felix is a registered newspaper: ISSN 1040 - 0711 Felix is produced for and on behalf of Imperial College Union Publication Board. Copyright © Felix 1999. Photographic copyrights remain with photographers. 24 May 1999 News 3

Latest Fees Fiasco at Leeds Humanities Competition

Following incidents at Sussex and most of the protesting freshers for As part of its humanities programme, Oxford, not to mention within fon By Sunil Rao their non-payment, though an intrepid Imperial College is to hold a "Technical don, it's now the turn of students at few have refused to pay on principle. Presentations Competition". The com Leeds University to protest against the sity itself has shown little by way of Leeds remains a popular university petition is for undergraduate students, introduction of tuition fees. Thirty-nine signs of relenting, however. with applicants, attracting more UCAS for the best technical presentation to an first-year students at feeds have Protests at Leeds aren't exactly a applications than any other institution intelligent lay audience, and is being received ominous letters warning new thing, with last years' day-long in Britain, and the university adminis organised by the Science Communica them that they shall not be allowed to occupation of a lecture theatre by tration had previously expressed its tion Group at the Rector's suggestion. continue their studies following the over a hundred protesting students disapproval over the way the fee sys Each of the competing depart summer vacation if they do not pay acting as a poignant reminder of stu tem is currently being handled, and ments, which includes engineering dis up. dent protests from May 1968, led by had anticipated that a number of stu ciplines, sciences, the medical school Leeds University Union (LUU) is the then Leeds University Union Pres dents would be worried about run and the management school will be meanwhile campaigning for the ident, a certain Jack Straw, though ning up large debts and might even fielding one individual or project group. defaulters to stay on to continue their those protests had in reality more to seriously consider "withdrawing from Each presentation will last for 15 min education next year, their efforts tak do with battling controversial right- courses because of financial hard utes, with 5 minutes for questions. A ing the form of what appears to be a wing attitudes than with more down- ship", feeds University has stated that panel of college governors will judge the successful postcard-signing campaign, to-earth issues. it has not made it its policy to forcibly competition, which has a first prize of attracting over three hundred signa The tone and timing of the letter evict students from courses for not £500 and additional prizes totalling £300. tories by Monday 1 7 May. The cam from university management, sent out paying fees, and that every case will The competition will take place on paign, which aims to induce University on the eve of the annual end-of-year be treated on its own merits. Tuesday 22 June from 2pm to 5.20pm In administrators to withdraw their examinations, were described by Anna Meanwhile students refusing to Lecture Theatre 408, Level 4, Elec Eng. threats, has also received media atten Richards, Communications Officer at pay fees at University College London Prof Sinclair Goodlad, Director of the tion across the nation, being featured LUU responsible for liaising with the (UCL) still face an uncertain future, Humanities Programme, encourages on the BBC web site, on Ceefax and media, as being "very intimidating". with both college authorities and members of the college to attend the Teletext and in both local and national Most of the students involved would students showing little sign of event. press (Yorkshire Post, Yorkshire now probably be feeling "ten times compromise. Enquiries should be directed to him Evening Post, London Metro, Look worse" about their financial problems, at [email protected] or on (0171 59) North and The Guardian). The Univer- given that this is the reason cited by 48752.

The Pit Stop Challenge

Friday, 28 May 1999,11.00arrw5.00pm,

Beit Quad

You are invited to experience the pressure of the Pit Stop using a real Formula One Williams car...

All you need to do is to enter your name, college and four team members on the application form and return it to the Union Office before Friday, 21 May. Just pick up an application form at the Student Union.

What it takes: - ability to work under pressure - ability to work within a team - ability to display a good sense of humour!

www.ac.com Prizes BBQ Bar Scalextric 4 Letters 24 May 1999

Travel or LT cards? teams (last year the winners got a day's Quite why, at this college, a veritable are adult websites. Online credit card free go-karting), and prizes for the run centre for genetic research, anyone processing was invented by a Canadian Dear Felix, ners up and losers. would want this to be the case, is beyond pornographic website. The sad fact is This year Andersen have invited me. It is sad that we appear to have so people want their porn: 90 - 95% of all I would like something clarified with teams from some of those other London little control over what we can and can't male net users have visited pornographic regard to the London Transport Student colleges, so there'll be a special edge to do/eat, even on our own campus - rather sites. If children and the Internet are Discount scheme, namely what sorts of the competition. than sound scientific minds being lis incompatible, it is far more cost effective tickets we can get a discount on. You If you want to enter, there's still time tened to, the ignorant rantings of the to remove the former rather than regu refer throughout your news article (as - all you need is a team of 4 and a team tabloid press appear to be prefered. late latter. does Dave in his Presidential talk-back) to name. You can either enter by filling in an At such a centre for research as Impe "travelcards". I was under the impression application form in the Union Office, or rial, surely we should be leading the way Martyn Whitwell. that the scheme only covered LT cards on the back of the flyers or by emailing and supporting GM foods all the way. I (Physics I) and bus passes. The distinction is impor me on [email protected]. Entries must be shall never be taken for a ride with all this tant: Travelcards are valid on tubes, buses in by Wednesday evening to be guaran 'organic' rubbish the supermarkets are set and trains, whereas LT cards are only teed a place on the starting grid. to make a killing on this summer. Eat, Praise, Have a ball valid on tubes and buses - not trains. For For those of you who don't feel so Support research. Vote with your those of us who live south of the river, energetic, there'll be a barbecue, the bar stomach. Sir, train and tube is often the only option will be open and there'll be the biggest (Kingston to college by train and tube: 45 scalextric set you've ever seen in dBs. S.W. Cooper I read with interest "In brief" (Felix, 17 May minutes, cf bus and tube: 1.5 hours!). 1999), and in particular the Director of Please could you be more specific in Hope to see you all there. Estates' proposal to renovate the SCR. I your wording in future, as I'm currently Regulating the Internet II note that the entire project is still waiting paying ~400 UKP p.a. more than I'd need Mark Home for funding confirmation - why? It's a to if the student discount applied to trav Events & Marketing Manager Dear Felix, catering/conference outlet! There is surely elcards. no question here - John Foster and I am writing in response to Mr Tse's let Annette de Lima will benefit, so they helen-louise. All Students - £55 ter "Regulating the Internet" in the last should dig deep into their voluminous Physics PhD. issue of Felix. I believe the basis of his let pockets and stump up the cash. Alterna Dear Felix, ter was that if we expose children to vio tively, Mr Caldwell should turn the whole You aren't the only one confused - lence through media, they become space into a food hall (Burger King, neither ICU nor the London Transport The Summer Ball Team would like to violent. I do wonder if such an assump McDonalds etc) and move the SCR to the website were able to explain It to me apologise to A. Warman for the lack of tion is true? If any readers have observed Rector's flat at 170 Queen's Gate. The accurately. It Is true, however, that the clarity over ticket prices for students. We seven year-olds watching an episode of mystery of the SCR still evades me - why cards CAN NOT be used on trains, as the would like to thank him for bringing this Power Rangers, I'm confident they will are staff happy to pay inflated prices for deal Is only with London Transport, and issue to our attention. Tickets are £55 for agree with me when I say that it is accu the same food which is served cheaper not the regional train companies. The LT ALL STUDENTS upon production of some rate to a small degree (different children at the MDH downstairs? Hmmmm, and website states form of proof; Alaistair will of course respond differently). However, regula they say our academic staff are the best "[Youth LT cards] cost 30% less than receive a refund subject to the above cri tion is not a simple case of Good versus in the land. I remain to be convinced... the equivalent adult rate Travelcard Sea teria. The union encourages all students Bad, as the aforementioned author And before you put this down as son, but cannot be used on most whether home or international to attend seems to believe. another letter from a cranky old hack, can National Railways services (except on the Summer Ball and look forward to The wonder that is the Internet is that I take the opportunity to congratulate joint routes where there is inter-avail seeing them at Alexandra Palace for the Joe Bloggs can come along and tell the Dave Hellard on a largely successful year ability) or for Underground journeys to single biggest catered event run by any world what he thinks. This power is some at ICU? I must admit to being sceptical and from Bakerloo line stations north of UK Student's Union. thing very few of us have ever had when he took over, but he has proved to Queen's Park... [they] give unlimited The Summer Ball newsletter is out before. A soapbox in Hyde Park won't be a competent and popular President. I travel on Underground, London Trans now and gives details of all the prize reach more than a hundred. A book has only hope Natasha Newton manages to port Buses, including N-prefixed Night draws occurring in the next few weeks. greater potential, but it spends its life on keep up with the momentum he has Buses and Docklands Light Railway ser Remember that tickets are only on sale a shelf in Waterstones (and only once the established... vices within the zones selected." until Monday 7th June and the sooner author has persuaded a publisher to pub Finally, can I urge everybody to So there you have it. Exactly which you buy your tickets the more prize draws lish it). The Internet is the only medium attend the ICU Summer Ball? It's a fan routes have Tnteravailabllrty' I don't know. you will be entered into. Members of a where anyone can say what they want, tastic event, so great that I still can't Anyway, I apologise for any confusion group of ten, booked before Friday, will unaltered, to a world-wide audience. Reg remember what happened last year... so caused. More Information can be found enter our draw for a free two-man tent or ulation would take this power away. go. See if you can get the College Sec at www.londontransport.co.uk/travel/ a meal for two at Luigi Malones. Is this such a bad thing? If we pretend retary drunk - it'll be worth it... 2_4_11.htm -Ed We appreciate that everyone is busy that last week's issue of Felix is a regu with exams but taking time out NOW to lated Internet, and that it's regulator is the I remain, Sir, your humble and obe book your place at the most phenome editor, Mr Tse has no control over the dient servant, Pit Stop Challenge nal end of term party, will ensure that you appearance of his letter. I doubt whether celebrate the end of your year or uni Mr Tse would be a happy man if he spent Andy Heeps Dear Felix, versity life in true style. hours writing his letter, only to find it wasn't there. Of course, it is easy to say So how many of you have watched the Kind Regards we'll "only regulate the porn" or "ban the Grand Prixs on the telly recently, watched fascism". All this simply means is that the Deadline for letters for the pit stops and thought "I'd like to give Summer Ball Team regulator's morals get forced down the that a go"? author's throat. Is it ethical to impose is 12noon Wednesday. Well, if you have now'syour chance. your morals on someone else? The Union have got together with those Stomach GM Foods! At the end of the day our capitalist very nice people from Andersen Con economy is driven by money. The adult Letters may be edited for length, but sulting to present the Pit Stop Challenge Signs I saw in Da Vinci's this lunchtime dis entertainment businesses invest enor will not be altered in any other way. this Friday in Beit Quad. Basically, this turbed me; written on a piece of lami mous amounts of money on improving Letters need not be signed, but a involves getting the wheels off and back nated catdboard was 'We cannot network connections and developing swipe card must be shown when sub on a Formula 1 car in the fastest time. guarantee our food to be free of GM pro technologies such as streaming video. mitting anonymous letters. There's big prizes for the winning duce'. Indeed, Real Networks' biggest customers 24 May 1999 Editorial & smaii AUS 5

To Strike or Not to Strike? in a year - it might lose us our second place in the league tables. New Frontiers in Science Exhibition You are not at school, and lecturers are If all that sounds too militant for you, not simply teachers. Benefiting from uni then why not add a small paragraph of 21 of the UK's top science and technology research teams have been selected versity education requires having a good protest to the end of your exam answer by the Royal Society to demonstrate the latest advances in their work. working relationship between students paper? Write a brief note to the examiner and academic staff, and that means that explaining how you had to cross AUT Wednesday 16 and Thursday 17 June 10am - 4.30pm both groups should show some interest picket lines to take the exam, and how in the other's problems. you feel it is wrong for college to go The Royal Society, 6 Carlton House Terrace, London SW1Y Patronising comment aside, what I ahead with exams on a strike day. Per am trying to say is that you can't ignore haps suggest that Colleges listen to their Enquiries: 0171 451 2576 / www.royalsoc.ac.uk the AUT strike. Listen to the arguments staff's demands and respect industrial and opinions, and make up your own action. mind. If you decide that the AUT's action Such a note will either be read by a Philips Mini-Stereo Computer Programming is justified, at least in principle, then you non-striking member of London Univer are faced with a problem; what should sity, in which case it will remind them of Separate high-quality speakers, 4 Tuition you do tomorrow? the action being taken, or will otherwise sound schemas, 1-bit CD, Dolby Tape- Having trouble with your computing What follows is NOT official advice, eventually end up in the hands of an AUT Deck, Radio, Alarm course? nor Felix editorial policy, merely my own member, which will demonstrate your view. If you do not have exams tomor support. If you are not prepared to risk £69 Friendly tuition by IC computing row, do not come in to college. your degree then at least show you graduate Lectures can be caught up, and probably appreciate the issues. Email Patrick at won't happen anyway, and you can sur The Union will be open as usual, so Email James at vive without the library for a day. Skip that if you do come into college and then [email protected] lab project and watch the cricket instead. decide not to pursue academic work for [email protected] If you do have exams, it's probably the day, you can always relax in the bar a good idea to turn up - college may well over lunch. fail students who do not turn up, and nei As for me? I will be around for most Bicycle Hospital ICU Choir Concert ther the AUT nor ICU may be able to fight of the day (after all, someone has to such a ruling. Having said that, if you actually cover the strike!), but I am unlikely know most of the people taking the to answer enquiries and suchlike from |Second-hand Bikes for sale on campus Pieces by Barber, Britten, Monteverdi, exam, get together before hand and College - not that it'll matter, as no one Mozart and Tavener. decide to skip it as a group. It will be dif from the other side of Prince Consort Bike repairs on campus. ficult to validate an exam if only 10% of Road ever phones me anyway. the students turn up and, besides, col Again, these are personal views - Friday 28 May, 8pm lege can't afford to have that many fails decide what to do for yourself. - Ed Email James at Holy Trinity Church, [email protected] Prince Consort Road

The Arts Appreciation Society Bound Edition Order Form

wishes to thank all of its 283 Fancy owning all of this year's issues note that bound editions will not be members for their continued of Felix in one hardback edi available before early tion? You even get your Autumn, so it is support over the last year. name in gold letterin important to on the front, so provide contact there's no confu details for next sion as to who year. The cost of Some of the shows for which paid for it. If you each bound edition fllillilHPiil would like to order a bound will be not more than yy|| .. jly we intend to arrange tickets 1; edition, please fill in the form below £32 (payable on collec- during the coming year indude: and return it to the f elix office. Please tion of your edition).

Chicago * The Lion King Name: West Side Story * Rent (Pf EASE PRINT CLEARLY AS IT SHOULD APPEAR ON THE COVER) Saturday Night Fever * Cats ...plus loads more, including other Email/Tel: musicals, opera, ballet and art exhibitions Email/Tel 1999-00: (IF DIFFERENT FROM ABOVE)

Deadline for completed forms is Friday 11 June, ARTSOC ft pa >a Ik ge Union Arts Appreciation Society but if you can fill it in earlier it would be very helpful. : For further information, please e mail araac@foattik Columns 24 May 1999 Right Angles to the Rising Sun The Mosquitoes and Pineapples of Okinawa

ensore uchina! as the locals Bridge to Wales was inch of uncovered skin. spiders. say, or as anyone born south bad). Whilst Okinawans Matt Salter until I sounded like the Its not just the inedible foliage Mof the Watford Gap would are now no longer for rhythm track off a Snoop that is different over there. On have it - "Welcome to Okinawa". Oh eigners in their own country, there Doggy Dog song. They didn't seem to another occasion, whilst driving across good grief, I hear you cry, where the was another difficulty associated with bother the locals who wandered about country I asked my girlfriend - who hell is he this week? Pray let me being reunited with the mother coun totally unmolested, but as soon as I set had bravely opted for what my father explain. Every year at the beginning of try Those of you who have been State foot outside the car a cloud of winged used to call the "suicide seat" - what all May, a series of conveniently-placed side cannot have syringes made a the odd-looking bushes growing in public holidays gives rise to the phe failed to notice "...Okinawa was the beeline (or should the fields were. "Pineapples" she nomenon of Golden Week during that in direct con that be a mos replied, faintly irritated that anyone which the worker bees of corporate travention of all only part of Japan quito-line) for my could ask such a stupid question. I Japan down tools and decamp en known conven pasty white flesh think the next field contained a crop masse for sunnier climes for a well- tions of decency invaded by the Allied like something out of mangos, but I wasn't about to open earned spell of R&R. This little drone and common of "633 Squadron". my mouth and run the risk of looking being no exception, I decided to take sense, the Ameri forces prior to the post- Maybe they saw even more of a berk. What goes for this opportunity to head off to Japan's cans will insist on me as a chance to the fruit goes double for the fish and most southerly province to escape driving their cars 1945 US occupation of get a bit of variety seafood. One afternoon we went to from the constant shuttlecock and bat on the right hand in their diet I don't a friend's house for a barbecue the tledore of life on the mainland. I must side of the road. the mainland..." know, but what star attraction at which, apart from admit to having an ulterior motive - my By contrast the ever the reason heroic quantities of succulent Pacific girlfriend (it might surprise you to learn Japanese, in common with the rest of they were impossible to ignore. British crab, was a bewildering array of trop that even I have one) comes from the civilised world drive on the left, food might be notorious throughout ical fish caught fresh off the reef that Nago in northern Okinawa, and as and thus when Okinawa - until then the human world for being bland and very morning. They weren't your usual such I could kill two birds with one the de facto 51st state of the Union - unpalatable, but the insect kingdom cod, haddock and skate, these wete stone and see her and have a holiday returned to the fold, the local popula clearly begs to differ. pukka "Jacques Cousteau's Amazing on the cheap at the same time. tion in the inimitable words of Charl This profusion of (sometimes World of the Deep" fish complete with Okinawa - in reality a collection of ton Heston "had themselves a unwelcome) wildlife comes about as a peculiar fins and long wispy feelers, several little islands which takes its situation". But in a gargantuan feat of direct result of Okinawa being situ and colours so bright and vibrant that name from the largest of the group - organisation, only outdone by the ated in the sub-tropics and, whilst this they looked for all the world like they is the smallest, and some would say efforts of the Apollo programme, the can lead to occasional bouts of tem had been caught up in an explosion in most spectacular, of the jewels in entire population of the island porary anaemia, it also makes for a paint factory. Some of the less lurid Japan's geographical switched from dri scenery which is amongst their num crown. Its southerly "...British food might vinvingg on the right to really something to "...the local brew ber were wrapped in location - closer to driving on the left behold. Driving foil and slapped Taiwan than Tokyo - be nOtC-HOUS thrOUgh- overnight. Any around the coastal which, as far as I straight on the grill ensuresthat it is also where else such a roads (on the left of whilst the rest were the warmest and OUt the human WOrld dramatic realign course) I was struck could make out, con cut up there and this fact is reflected ment would have by the sheer variety then, marinated per in the distinctive for being bland and been unthinkable, and lushness of the sists of 2 parts lighter functorily in soy nature of its flora but in Japan cooper- greenery that seems sauce and lemon and fauna. The unpalatable, but the ative activity on this to overwhelm every fuel to 1 part pink juice, and eaten raw main island is only a scale passes off spare patch of coun washed down with shade over 60 miles insect kingdom clearly without a hitch. In tryside. It wasn't just paraffin diluted with large glasses of the from end to end, fact I sometimes get that there was a local brew which, as and is divided in begS tO differ..." the feeling that it heck of a lot of it mineral water..." far as I could make almost equal part would be easier to that surprised me, it out, consists of 2 between a grey, forbidding US military get the entire population of 125 mil was that pretty much all of it were parts lighter fuel to 1 part pink paraf base and lush, mountainous forest lion to pick a single set of Lottery num totally new to me. There were spiky fin diluted with mineral water. I now inhabited by centipedes the size of bers than it would to get two plants and twisty plants, plants with know what really fresh fish tastes like cats. Actually that's a bit of an exag Westerners to agree on which pub to huge, broad leaves that looked like and it ain't Harry Ramsden's. geration - the Marines life is not quite go to on Friday night. they had grown upside-down, and During our al fresco feast one of as extensive as all that and the creepy- But there's a lot more to the place trees that resembled 30-foot tall broc our party proudly informed me that crawlies are really only as big as a than Gl Joe and astounding feats of coli florets covered with thick creepers Okinawa boasts the largest number large kitten at most. However, there consensual motoring. There's insects that would have had Tarzan of the of centigenarians per head in the is no escaping the American military for a start. Lots of them. Mosquitoes Apes nodding with approval. It was a whole of Japan and after what I'd presence, a legacy of WWII when Oki in particular. There was I, being bit like being on the set of Jurassic seen, smelled and tasted in my all too nawa was the only part of Japan wowed by fabulous scenery, getting Park. At one point, looking out over brief visit I would have though that 100 invaded by the Allied forces prior to my ears back on local delicacies in the wide expanses of verdant forest years was probably too short a time to the post-1945 US occupation of the charming little roadside restaurants or from my vantage point of a mountain- spend in this place. I've already mainland. In fact, up until its return to marvelling at seas so clear and blue top cafe that was accessible only via booked my next trip when I Japan in 1972, Okinawa was under the that they looked like a kindergarten long winding roads the width of a shall come armed with twice as many government of the States, and the kid's painting of "what I did on my human hair, I was struck anew by the rolls of film as this time, my swim locals actually needed passports to go holidays", and all the time I was slap unbelievable density and variety of ming trunks and a fishing rod. And an to the mainland (and you thought hav ping at swarms of the little perishers the vegetation which, I felt sure, must industrially-sized tube of mosquito ing to pay to go across the Severn as they homed in on every square conceal an army of majorly gigantic repellent. 24 May 1999 Columns 7

The Importance of Coffee moment. Kevin sees this coffee culture istic wish-list: *AII phones should receive puts both college and us, the students in as quite ironic - for an institution which incoming calls irrespective of whether or a very good position in negotiations. There is a lot of truth in the old joke that was once proud to be known worldwide not the student decides to subscribe to Don't be an apathetic lemming: "Make mathematicians are devices for turning as "The PG Tips College". additional services such as Internet or your self heard". The student represen coffee into theorems. In fact Kevin outgoing phone calls. tative in discussions with Ericsson is Chris

believes coffee is the fuel, the raw mate "The phones should act as IC inter I nce; [email protected] rial for much of the work which goes on New Phone System nal telephones, ie. Phone calls between within IC. Students can often be over the new Ericsson phones, and to other heard talking to each other about the Internet access at home for all IC stu university phones should be free. Lights Out effects of caffeine addiction,- withdrawal; dents could soon be a reality. College is "Students should be free to cancel and as exam time approaches worrying presently holding dis their agreement with Kevin has noticed yet another example about the possible side effects of their cussions with the Ericsson at any time, of technics going wrong in IC. This time increasing caffeine intake. Two branches communications they should not be trying merely to accomplish the simple of the brilliant Starbucks, within a few company Ericsson committed to a year/ procedure of turning the board lights minutes walk of the South Ken. campus over a "private term's worth at a time. on in a Lecture Theatre. Faced with a only encourage the habit. Kevin has finance initiative" 'Ericsson billing lectern adorned with more buttons than heard of some students being lucky which would provide should be entirely your average scientific calculator, the enough to get tutorials time tabled at IT / Phone services to independent from lecturer was out of her depth. She Starbucks! However due to the rather the South Ken cam accommodation decided to attempt to explain the reason cosy size of the place, if this becomes pus and Halls of Resi billing. for the flickering lights to the students: common practice double bookings could dence. Ericsson A Mostly Harmless Column by Ericsson are quite "It's taking about thirty seconds for the be problematic. Perhaps Starbucks stands to make a lot Kevin, a random entity who open about the fact information to get from the switch to the should be incorporated into the IC room of money out of IC knows nothing about nothing that they are only in lights. Which of course means when I booking system, so as to ensure the students in the long this to make as much turn them on, by the time they come on, comfortable seats are free. Coffee term, and it is vital that we as students money as they can. Having already stated I've turned them off again." addicts looking for accommodation for make sure that we get the best deal we their intentions to expand their services next year may be interested to note that can. Kevin, who has experience of prob lo IC's other sites, even to students in pri the flats above Starbucks on Kensington lematic commercial phone systems in vate accommodation and alumni wher Send ideas and contributions to High Street are up for sale at the many institutions has the following, real ever in the world they might be! This [email protected] Presidential Talk-Back

omorrow AUT members are going Pit Stop Challenge, in which you can on strike. The NUS have already Davld Hellard, ICU President play on a giant skelectrics set, change Tgiven the action their full backing, the wheels of a formula one car and but as a President who has to deal cies of the Union are made. If you Office, with a seconder and ten pro take advantage of the all day bar. If with real issues and not just give sound want to stand for any of the positions, posers. the Annual General Meeting is Quo bites against them I would advise stu all you need to do is sign up on the In celebration of this great event rate, I might even buy one lucky par dents not to boycott exams. Although notice board outside of the Union Anderson Consulting are holding the ticipant a free pint. some may interpret this message as one of opposition to the strike, my advice to all students was to pay their tuition fees, despite how much I disagreed with them.

This Friday is the Annual General Meeting at 1pm in the Union Din ning Hall; it is the most important meeting in the Union calendar. For the meeting to be quorate (to have the number of people required to make the meeting legitimate) we need to have 200 students attend ing, so please come along and bring your department with you.

The Annual General Meeting is your one opportunity in the year to question any of the officers on what they have done throughout the course of the year. The Union will present its Annual Report, outlining what the Union has achieved in the year and review what services it offers its members. The Officers of the Union for next year will then be voted in, every student there gets a vote. These officers have their own areas of specialisation, but all receive a vote in the Union Council, the sovereign body of the Union, in which all major decisions and poli- Feature 24 May 1999 Cycling in Nepal From personal experience Oliver Hawkins describes the pitfalls of cycling In this hilly and logistically difficult country

Described as "the Mecca of world mountain biking", the must be taken with care. Two of these we took Himalayan kingdom of Nepal offers lots of challenges were almost a kilometre height difference between to adventurous cyclists. Unlike its two sprawling neigh the top and the bottom, and on one, a friend bours, India and Tibet, much of the country and sights, crashed at speed after his brakes locked, and he was including ancient Buddhist and Hindu temples and incredibly lucky to escape with only cuts and a few views of Mount Everest, are in easy reach from the cities bruises. of Kathmandu and Pokhara. Also, it is said that you are ten times more likely to be involved in a car crash in Nepal than in Britain, and only limited areas of the coun 5 Cows try are open for trekking. Cycling allows close contact with the famously friendly and tolerant Nepalese peo Cows are sacred in Nepal where the majority of the ple, as well as affording greater freedom than buses and Nepali life. The reality for most Nepalis today is population are Hindus, and killing a cow can result cars in where to go, making it a very attractive option. complex and varied, not as simplistic as the 'moun in jail sentences of up to 10 years. Avoiding a colli Therefore, with the help of some of the pupils at the tains and mysticism' portrayal in some tourist publi sion is therefore very much advisable, although the school in Kathmandu where I was teaching, and along cations. Noticeable aspects include the rapid cyclist would probably come off worse. Nepalese with four other British volunteer teachers, I bought a modernisation, distributed unequally thtough the cows are mostly urban animals, preferring the busy, mountain bike from a local shop. From the many expe country, alongside harsh rural poverty and a strong dirty city life, where they can scavenge the roadside riences we had and mistakes made, here are the things influence of tradition, family and religion. rubbish heaps, to the peaceful countryside, so traf to be avoided... fic can become a slalom around the animals on even the crowded city streets. 3 Natural Disasters

Obviously good to avoid, but il should be remem bered that the contrasts in the climate are great in Nepal, with only two seasons, the Monsoon and the Dry Season. Getting caught cycling in a Monsoon downpour can be very dangerous, especially on mud paths. However, you can usually see the rain coming, sometimes literally as an advancing wall of water, so you have time to find shelter. Freak weather can also happen during the dry season. On one occasion, one of our bikes broke a few hours into a three-day journey to a remote vil lage called Palanchowk Bhagwati, in the foothills 1 Cheap Bikes near the Tibetan border. As we started to look for a 6 Buses repair shop, we noticed that a tornado had formed Our first trip was a steep learning curve and a les close behind us, so we quickly flagged down a pass My only crash was into the back of a stopping bus, son in the false economy of buying cheap. Between ing truck, threw our bikes into the back and climbed at about 5 to 10 miles per hour. Buses are renowned us, we suffered eight breakdowns of some form or onto the roof. This was probably no safer than stay for their aggressive driving and for being so full that another in two hours, although we persevered until ing near the tornado however, as we spent the next people often hang on to the outside or sit on the a friend was thrown in a somersault over his han ten miles hanging on to the single roof bar to avoid roof. Sitting on the roof with the luggage tied on is dlebars, fortunately escaping unhurt. Although the getting thrown off as the truck sped around corners. often more comfortable than inside, especially in hot many cycle shops are helpful and virtually free, they weather, although it is in theory illegal and danger are not equipped for geared bikes and on several ous as there is usually only a roof rack to hold on to. occasions they used a brick to hammer handlebars 4 Admiring the View Buses are however frequent and ridiculously cheap, into shape. My advice would be to spend the extra costing as little as 3p for a five-mile journey, and rupees and hire a much more reliable bike, such as The reward of struggling to the top of one of the when your bike has broken or the hill is just too long those from 'Himalayan Mountain Bikes' in Thamel, Himalayan foothills is incredible views of some of the and steep they will take bikes for about 50p extra. Kathmandu. most spectacular scenery in the world. However, the mountain roads often have drops of hundreds of y..: Chinese Tibet metres off one side, with no protective barriers, so 2 Guide Book Authors the descents, which can be very fast and exciting, al / Kathmandu r' \ Mt Everest Our guide for some of the trips we made was James ——" /I. * % Giambronie, through his book 'Kathmandu Valley -* ' ^ ,

India * * / ~V'V.„ \ } Bikes and Hikes'. We got some good ideas on places to visit, but his "intrepid routes" invariably ended in Roy; 1 t-W\ MO / * a dead end or a path washed away by the teccnt monsoon, a problem common to even the major roads in Nepal. Getting lost is not all bad though, as long as it is not getting dark, as you can find your self in places off the beaten track and more fasci nating for it. People were often very willing to invite us into their homes, allowing an insight into rural i

10 ^T*"*-^ Opinion 24 May 1999 What would Legalisation Lead to?

Attitudes towards drugs are as diverse as the people who hold them. In the first of a two part feature, Felix examines the

attitudes and arguments for and against the legalisation of drugs. This week Andrew Vivian explains his view that cannabis

should be used for medical applications under strict regulation, whilst remaining commercially illegal.

Following the respectable comments proposed by go? (c.f. suing actions in the USA) fair share of related damage to innocent citizens Mr 'Anonymous' (coward) last term and in the after tet us consider the scenario where drug usage (drink-driving). The issue is that the consequences math of the recent pro-legalisation march I feel increased but knock on effects of cannabis can be foreseen that it is time to present arguments against the legal were themselves insignificant. "...ask yourself why the whereas for tobacco they were isation of cannabis. What grounds are there for not (and in the ignorant 60s May I first utterly refute the claim made by opposing increased drug legality of a drug should tobacco was even regarded as Howard Marks published in last week's article that usage - surely it is the individ good for your health). two thirds of all under 25s take cannabis. Perhaps ual's choice if they partake? actually bother you if you Solutions? Keep cannabis he assumed that the statistics of his Well, actually commercially illegal, although friends and colleagues were "Commercial market that's not the can easily get hold of that exploit any medicinal benefit it applicable to the British youth as a case. You're may have in controlled medical whole... ing through wide forgetting the drug anyway?" establishments. Quite frankly As I see it the main problem non-smokers. though, I would be happy for with legalising cannabis is that it spread advertising The users are content but the non- you to smoke whatever the hell you want in your would unequivocally lead to an users lose, subject to the behav homes if you consented to never doing so in increase in all drug usage. Com would increase the iour, influence and smoke released public - and then strictly adhered to such mercial marketing through wide by the smokers. Some of you may *w a compensation. spread advertising would increase awareness and avail recall the letter I submitted last You may still completely disagree with the awareness and availability of all term requesting at least a what I have said, but then ask yourself why drugs (not just cannabis) to the ability of all drugs..." small area of the the legality of a drug should actually bother entire populace. Attracted to the union to be you if you can easily get hold of that drug relative safety of cannabis new smokers would designated non-smoking. My ' anyway? Cannabis is not high on arise, most of whom would no doubt enjoy the thanks to the Union officials the police's agenda as the blatant experience; some of these new arrivals would who didn't even bother to usage during the pro-legalisation branch out into other forms of drug use in search reply.... bastards. Our Union is march proved, and I can only think of different inducible experiences. Kids who get a a classic example of non-smok lhat if any of you are still for legali kick out of breaking rules or through trying to ers being subjected to the whim sation then you must cither be self impress others will use harder drugs if cannabis is of those who smoke. Legalising ish or have business propositions... legalised and loses its coolness or even 'hard' sym cannabis and increasing drug avail bolism (lets be honest, - this is how some of you ability will increase the already high started smoking in the first place). number of such sit Sure, some kids are already on hard "Keep cannabis uations, - not good for drugs but numbers would the non-smoker who quite rise. The last two points commercially rightfully wants to have a are basically the results social life without unnecessary of different forms of illegal, although health hazards. Not only that, but peer pressure. A tiny drug usage isn't exactly aestheti minority may crave exploit any cally pleasing. While being boxed new challenges in behind a smoker around Ihc and even hold that medicinal benefit pavements of Piccadilly with no if the government way of avoiding the smoke 'catch relents on it may have..." ment area' may drive me positively ^ cannabis then livid, the sight of cigarette butts they can get away with more everywhere is horrible, especially in areas of oth moderate crimes (I'm not sug erwise natural or indeed artificial beauty. These cir The highs and lows of cannabis: Above, protesters at gesting anyone at IC would cumstances should be actively reduced and not the Mayday march In good spirits. Below, the be stupid enough to think encouraged by promoting further drug use through soporific effects of over-indulgence that though!); imagine if the cannabis legalisation. government were actually to You may argue on this account thai I would give in - a whole new gen have to concede that tobacco and alcohol should eration of protesters would also be illegal. Well In the case of tobacco I agree \ emerge pressing for slack- whole-heartedly, as for alcohol it is less rational \ ness on other issues - (and I'm not saying that in bias -1 hate the taste of just how far would this alcohol and very rarely drink) even though it has its

Next week Danny Kushlick, spokesman for Transform, a pressure group who believes that current British

drug laws should be re-examined, presents arguments for the legalisation of most, if not all, drugs. 24 May 1999 11 Reviews Best Laid Plans * SOU

Starring : Reese Witherspoon, Alessandro Nivola, Josh Brolin Director: Mike Barker RACKS

ndie-thriller... dark and broody... The waterboy twisty-turny plot... trying to escape I small-town America... murder... This surprise US box office hit comedy decent cast of young, sexy, next-big- features Adam Sandler playing Bobby thing types... intricate plan goes wrong... Boucher, a lowly water boy for his Sound familiar? local university football team. Eventually all these movies begin to Although he's a bit 'slow', BB thinks blur into one - one big, unpleasant vision that the dispensing of the halftime of a crime filled world, where everything water is the greatest thing he's ever turns out for the best, yet everyone gets done. However, a series of blunders hurt. In this case, that image is imposed costs him his job and so the scene is onto Nivola and Witherspoon, as the set for BB to take his local town by boyfriend/girlfriend duo who come up storm. with an incredibly contrived plan to raise Not content with being a Holly the money which will pay off Nivola's wood star, Sandler is also a recording debts to a local gangster. Having per artist in his own right and has sold suaded Witherspoon (who, worryingly, well over 31.5 million albums. He also looks 17 despite being 23) to seduce understands how important a sound Brolin in order to rob his house, the plan track is to a film and The Watcrboy goes pear-shaped when Brolin goes men soundtrack is no different, featuring a tal and locks her up in the basement. America, where all the streets are paved with gold.. remarkable mix of rock classics by ELO, Cue much swearing, anguish and, of John Mellencamp, Lenny Kravitz, Rush course, blind panic. removed from anything else you'll have more movies due this year, has been and the Doors with more contempo Generic it may be, but thanks to a seen to keep you engrossed from start to picked out as one of the faces of 1999. rary artists such as Goldfinger, Can- constantly swirling plot and appealing act finish - despite being an essentially moral Sacrificing genuine originality and dlebox and The Candyskins. The CD is ing from the leads, it's an engaging tale. ity-free zone. Moreover, the movie's suc depth for style and appeal, Best Laid Plans out now. Sadly the ending fails to surprise, despite cess in the US will undoubtedly pave the is nonetheless a decent and entertaining trying hard to confound your expecta way to future stardom for the leads - par - albeit downbeat - movie. D tions, yet the plot as a whole is far enough ticularly Witherspoon, who, with three Dave Blast From The Past

Win tickets to She's All That with the Eclectic or eccentric would be the nice way to describe this one; uninspired would be the less kind way. Mixing REM, Randy Newman, Perry Como and US 'Alternative' bands (with such 'hilar ious' names as Squirrel Nut Zippers, Cherry Poppin' Dadies and Dishwalla). Somehow, it ultimately blends together surprisingly well (in a cheesy, happy kinda way) but nonetheless it's definitely not the kind of thing you're KENSINGTON likely to want to buy.

This week's competition centres around As ever, a packed mailbag was the upcoming indie comedy She's All That. response to last week's competition, At First Sight Starring unknowns (Freddie Prinze Jr, with almost every one a correct answer Rachael Leigh Cook) in the lead roles, - spotting that Best Laid Plans star Composer Mark Isham is best known alongside a few bigger names (Mathew Alessandro Nivola appeared alongside for writing jazzy scores and for his Lillard, Anna Paquin), it promises to be Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in John proficiency on the jazz trumpet, and entertaining - if not entirely original. Woo's Face/Off. The first five names out consequently it's hardly surprising that If you'd like to see it courtesy of those of the hat were: he stirs a lot of jazzy piano-tinkling lovely people at the Odeon Kensington, into the unashamedly soppy score for just answer the following question: Janice Lonsdale this Val Kilmer/Mira Sorvino starrer. Narlsara Intrachandra Drifting between gentle musing Which vampire hunting actress Beatrice Dereume and haunting restraint, it's designed to makes cameo appearances In both Richard Powell accompany a candlelit dinner, rather She's All That and Scream 2 ? Cllve Parker than a lengthy Quake session, and mixes seven original songs with some Just email your answer to fllm.felix You've each earned a pair of tickets to see classic Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Arm @lc.ac.uk before Wednesday evening. Best Laid Plans for your trouble - please strong. Pleasant enough if you like The first ten names out of the virtual hat m\ drop into the Felix office (in the corner of that kind of thing... will win a pair of tickets. Beit Quad) ASAP. Gurm & Janine 12 Music 24 May 1999

Albums PROLAPSE MISHKA Ghosts of Dead Aeroplanes Mishka

much better. Talking of accents, co-vocal ist Linda Steelyard has a thing about them,- so she likes Oasis from Man chester but hates Blur. Anyway, their recently released sin gle Fob.Com Is a very catchy number. The other vocalist Mick Derrick sounds a bit like Ewan McGregor on Choose Life. Indeed the lyrics are sung in that fashion. Linda's sharper vocals adds a little fresh ness to a melody that, perhaps, has already been heard. e's got the obligatory dreads There's very little potential for future and beard but not because singles on this album with most of the H they might be cool, just tracks being un-movlng, monotone dri because. He lived on a boat, sailing vel. But they have to release something round the Caribbean from the age of so I guess they could possibly get away three. He competed for Bermuda in with One Illness, which at least has a lit the world windsurfing championships tle life. They are strongly advised to twice. He lives on the island of Nevis, quickly retire to performing live where where Alan McGee 'discovered' him. they can take the emphasis off their He's not your usual recording artist. So

Prolapse spot another Jumbo going down music and onto their manic stage acts of sure, he's going to get all the attention the vocalists. Prolapse are reputed to because he's on the same label as perform astoundingly on stage. Oasis and he's a white man singing t's funny how you pick up an album although I have reason to believe that Musically, this album is difficult to what sounds like reggae. But don't of an unknown (or let's just say rel their style is Stereolab-ish and The Fall. categorise. Let's just settle with soft-rock judge Mishka until you've heard what I atively low-key) band and expect to The opening track of Ghosts Of plus indie-pop. This isn't a combination he has to play. be talking about how their debut album Dead Aeoplaneswasn't as loud as I was that works for me and apart from When you do hear It be prepared to is going to affect the music world only expecting but a very slow, mellow, Fab.Com (which is a fantastic tune) there enjoy it and to be surprised. This album to find out that it's actually their fourth almost instrumental tune. The vocals are is nothing else on this album to make is such a change from what's in the album. Well that's the case with the six- strongly accented but that's not the rea you rush to the record stores. H charts at the moment that everyone strong Scottish Prolapse and I have no son why they do not complement this Asad should listen to it at least once, but idea what their earlier works sound like, track at all. just music would have been once may not be enough. You'll either love it or force yourself to listen a sec ond, then a third time until you do. It's LAMB the kind of music that grows and grows Fear of Fours *** as you absorb it more until you find yourself feeling incredibly at ease. For

hy Is the internet so crap? I single B-line. The flavour of the album get all your Fatboy Slims and your Steps, went for a bit of a surf on the has a distinct Eno sound about It: In Fear this is the quiescent sound of the sum W subject of Lamb and ended Of Fours there's a very prominent bass mer. It's so laid-back and relaxed that up with reams and reams of rubbish sound that Is characteristic of Eno, as is nothing will phase you when you're lis about how wonderful Polydor Is and the whole theme of chilling out. If you've tening to it. Perhaps it has something to did I want to buy albums by Hovercraft, never listened to Apollo by Brian Eno I do with the husky, slightly melancholic fambkin and Bush? I really don't under suggest you do. voice like on the current single Give stand it. The only niggle I've got is that You All The Love, or maybe it's the As it turns out, Lamb are a Mancun although the tracks on Fear Of Fours stripped down guitar and harmonica on ian pair in the form of Andy Barlow and are undoubtedly an excellent selection, One True, or it could even be that reg Louise Rhodes who specialise in the all of them stick to approximately the gae organ on Lonely. Whatever it is, mellow grooves of the slowed up same formula. The intro is a swirly mix of Mishka is a supremely chilled album drum'n'bass favoured by such bands as strings, angelic vocals and soft beats fol containing tracks that Marley would be the Sneaker Pimps. Their first, self-titled lowed closely by rolling breaks, low- proud of. album was met with much admiration by down tummy rumbling bass and acid On the first listen when you're not those in the know and subsequently jazz vocals. I know that almost every 'with the vibe' (man), the tracks do seem their debut single Cotton Wool was band adheres to some kind of formula, to have the annoying habit of sounding remixed more than once. But what of whether they are conscious of it or not, the same. On further listening though, Fear Of Fours'? What indeed. but I noticed it in particular here. It also it's the clever nuances between tracks that make them stand out, like the Fear of Fours? They're safe The opener is a track called Soft Mis came as no surprise that track four is watching England then. take that is anything but. It's a laid-back non-existent (fear Of Fours?). church bells, the subtle use of synth instrumental that sets the scene for the I surprised myself by actually admit and harmonica. Okay, the songs are mood of the whole album. That mood is ting that it was good, rather than just mostly all on the same subject of love generally a relaxed one although there okay. The use of samples is about right, and cither how great it is or how crap it are some classic jungle stylee booty the vocals are spot on and the produc is, but the way it's sung, you don't care. shakin' frantic beats. That's okay, we can tion is excellent. It's still not my cup of Mishka has all his shit together, and his let them slide because we've got such tea, though it would be an asset to any debut album might help you get yours crackers as Bonfire, Five and the current music collection. H Christian together, too. 131 Christian 24 May 1999 Music 13 Albums MOBY THE ROOTS Things Fall Apart

with hip-hop beats and slide-guitar and ake no mistake, this is hip- the closing song My weakness sounds hop. These are musicians. like an aural Ascension. M These aren't some bunch of It's an album of blissed-out, mellow, guys who got lucky and busted there ambient tracks interspersed by glorious way into the studio, made a funky dance tracks; and that's dance in the video and got to number one. This is all sense that you can dance to the music, about stories and beats and rhyme. there being lateral rhythms to which you This album has all in abundance and can glide; not dance in the sense that to more. Put simply this is simply the best dance to the music one must assume hip-hop album I have heard all year. the actions of a chicken-necked android, Standout tracks. Well, it's very hard. whilst vainly trying to pick out a melody The problem with a band like the Roots that has all but been bludgeoned to a is that they arc in real danger of burn messy pulp by a deranged drum- ing themselves out - with each track machine. you wonder if it can possibly get any bet That's not to say the album is par ter. At a push, I would pick You Got Mc ticularly forward looking. Many tracks (featuring Erykah Badu) with its wicked echo the sound of Robert Miles (this is jungle dying moments, Act Too (The very bad), others could have been lifted Love of My Life) which is just too smooth wholesale off the Tim Booth and Angelo and Dynamite! - that last one just swings. Badalamenti collaboration Booth and fhe production is a breath of fresh the Bad Angel (this is very good) and air in the increasingly electronic sound many tunes could be passed off as sur ing industry, this sounds fresh and real Moby-thrilled to bits. facing during the second summer of -The Roots have managed to translate love in 1988 (which isn't such a bad their live sound into a recording. ichard Melville Hall is the great- tracks of epic vision and substance. Pre thing either). Now if that was the long The only gripe with this album is great-grand nephew of Herman vious misdemeanours with techno and and short of it we'd be looking at maybe that its purchase wil! inevitably make R Melville, thus the moniker Moby trashy rock have been honed and further four stars but at various junctures it all the rest of yout collection sound poor in and the impetative need, for the sake infused with blues, folk, bluegrass, gets a bit ugly, that confounded-bastard- comparison. This is a great yardstick for of originality, to avoid the use of any gospel and the kitchen-sink to create an son-of-House Techno shows its pitiful aspiring rappers and all to aim for - The maritime similes or metaphors to electronic cornucopia. mug and objectivity is debunk, rational Roots have set the pace for 1999 - can describe this whale of an There's the gospel tinged Why Does ity is cast to the wind; so in the interest anyone match them? CI album arrrh, bugger! My Heart Feel So Bad?, whilst Find My of not exhausting my well of spiteful Joel A whale of an album it is though; a Baby is The Rolling Stones with drum polemics we'll leave it at that. __ plethora of styles spreading across 18 loops. Honey is a sassy piano-driven tune Chris

Singles

Charlotte - Skin Blondle - Nothing Is Real But The Girl THE ESSENTIAL CHOON This song brings back memories of those half-pop, Their comeback single Maria proved that Debo half-dance numbers with a yelping female singer rah Harry could still sing and the band could still on it that were all the rage when I was about fif play, but the general disregard for the accom teen. So, it's alright, but a bit behind the times. panying album showed that the public thought it just a one-off. And they were right too, for this Snow Pony - Easy Way Down song is weak and dull and the vocals are stran Some really relaxed indie rock that mellows you gled and flat. out and seems to include bits from just about every Stone Roses song I know. And somewhat Stereophonies - Pick A Part That's New strangely, the singer is a woman. Even weirder, it The obvious joke is to say that it's hard to pick a works. part that's new from this song. That's the prob lem with the Stereophonies, their songs are all 3 Colours Red - This Is My Time very similar. We're becoming familiar with the There was a bit of a stir going on when Beautiful now cliched Kelly Jones vocal, that stretches out Day was released at the beginning of the year. It the last word In each line. certainly appeared that 3 Colours Red were going to have a successful year. However, the subse Laptop - Nothing To Declare quent release of their more traditional rock-metal For a band with a rather modern name (unless efforts was met with general apathy. So, it's back referring to some seedy strip joint) these guys are to the 'slowies' in the search for that elusive top Supergrass - Pumping On Your Stereo firmly stuck fifteen years in the past. This song ten hit. Judging by the critical acclaim but poor sales for their last album, it's perfectly mimics Talking Heads, even down to hard to gauge the ensuing reaction to this single. It's described by cunning lyrical twists such as the line 'I've got Jamella- So High the band as being in the vein of Rebel Rebefeta Bowie, but that's nothing to declare, except my loneliness.' Retro A bit like Shola Ama but with nowhere near the only half the story. Like so many Supergrass songs, this track is alive but great.CJ vocal talents and with some Missy Elliot-style ad with energy and extremely enjoyable to listen to. libs thrown In. So just your basic R 'n' B track really. EdJ. 14 Clubscene 24 May 1999

St. Matthew's Church, Brixton. £10/£12, 10pm - bam monthly Fridays. Capacity - 1,000. Dress code - none. Want to be a Model?

You'd expect this night to be a bit of a corker seeing fas how one of the members of the seminal band Leftlield f has a hand in it. However, seminal is not how I'd describe! Ihis night. If you've been a regular reader of Clubscene ; then you will know what a great venue Mass is, and how| nights such as Nymph use it to its full potential. The Shift-i ling Gears people have something to learn from them, If pel. Half empty venues, monotonous, non-descript house, | |and seemingly pissed off punters does not really make for .the ideal night on the tiles. Also, the backroom was| |devoted to some sort of perverted cross between dance! imusic and the early 80s music. This is a worrying trend, fwhich must be stopped dead in Its tracks. Disco house may| | be a welcome addition to the increasingly wide genre of| | dance music, but any association with that most unfash ionable of decades can only be harmful to a scene, which | is, after all partly driven by fashion. But I'm not going to be totally harsh on the Shifting! jGears people. There was potential there, and their sub jsequent move to the glorious Scala club, may help diem |to really take off. I just hope they bin the 80s fixation on| the way. Buds), >\AC Spidey G (G-Men Records), add DJs RON

if you require further Information or guest lisvplaces,:caltd# Top Pro motions on 071*8/ 'JUbiSJ As a spc cial o!f< i lo ill Impi rial Studenls, call the info numbei and mention Ciut n< u'l! be added to the con- Carwash's I Oth Birth p o o day @ London Astoria w 8 e o c e

on t 10pm - 4 am, £15, Saturday 1st May, capacity - 2,000. Dress code - very very yi her Of) rea glam. OP 1(~3 ll n ic £ Ofl on You'll have seen our review of this extra-glam disco/funk night a few months c _iC 'c ago. And you know what we thought of it here at Clubscene. Absolutely fan '__ I— i -C o u 5 tastic - the only place to be seen strutting your stuff whilst donning your (or 0 E ^ E your parents) finest 70s attire. So it'll come as no surprise that when we were > x: u asked along to their 10th b'day party we had another stunning night. -3 E % 1 o It had all the best aspects of any Carwash Saturday night, but it was, of Q. O course, very much bigger, and personally, that little bit better. But, of course, on 2 _- 53 £ on > £ =! you'd expect that on anyone's b'day, now wouldn't you? It appears that size © £ ™ o does matter after all. § * ~ 00 3 *; u E The London Astoria is an old converted theatre, and this is still reflected tv5 ^ ic _ o 1/1 in the layout of the club. It is very much like The Fridge in Brixton, with a huge cC -a c c 2 balcony-style upstairs area looking down on the huge dancefloor, and the gigan o CD O tic stage. Plenty of room to pose above the rest of the crowd - as everyone 3 sj likes to do on these type of occasions. And, after all that's what Carwash is all 1 o ° o tc on 32 about. Being as extrovert (in a 70s kind of way, of course) as you want to be CD c c d S o O and just letting it all hang loose for the night. co ic A great night for all you Saturday Night fever freaks out there, which con £ CD tinues every Saturday at its usual London Astoria 2 venue. Go along and make 5 2 E ° Tony Moreno (aka John Travolta) proud with your funky moves. c i o ^ CD c C > Good Clean Fun 3» Io— ,1 IC CD 3 0J 11 aj Q C O Lo "a to O X! 3 60 o TD IC rsi u 24 May 1999 Clubscene 15

Galaxy then this album is for you. Very ble CD mixed by Cream's monthly resi Out31stMay. Albums good compilation album. dent and general trance music legend Out now. John '00' Flemming and features ** the biggest European Live at the Heavenly Jukebox Volume 3

Galaxy Weekend france, techno and Various' Various' Reactivate 14 hard house tracks (React) (MOS) 'Various' ')iy ' '''');':: '.' including the (MOS) ,. yi.*>'\>yy oyyyyyyy latest mater Mixed by Andy Weatherall and Richard Another top compilation from the peo v >-': ial from Fearless, this is a high quality compilation ple at Ministry of Sound. Galaxy Week Read's Il Push, album featuring the music you can hear end is a double CD album that features massive 'T"3fii:.T.::)j iV-y; Vviii: \rii'i\':'":'-0 r,n: ,y ,.}:; oni fjpjf'i'MOh'Sv ' Transa, at one of London's premier nights. Once the high quality music which has made series /'/m'fcby Oi 'iOu/d ivr> e : .<:.\ : .> noVincenw t again it is a double CD with a huge the Galaxy radio network one of the pre contin ;i;:>iii!S:;,^.iiir>'N-:i.!0 : l v.-.: 01 : : Ogi .: ! i :g, / g;U. >,vgg WiiiX^ de range of tracks mixed by the above DJs. mier networks in England. The first CD ues g-gy u;':'}'' ' -:--.v, and good - no surprise there then. The sec the y iggggy>ioggygy u..'Oyo: 'g-';.'.'!. .. ',„.. l.yninf)' Digital spectrum of dance music.

four ;v Blondes. Out 31st May. ond CD, mixed by Allister Whitehead, is y\tg yyhyvyr,.y, gyui Ay.- . y.gyr,-: g:yv; - ,.g. gg.yam.,.

This much better featuring artists such as teenth '^yyiy1 :gy:,y;'iyyyg-h-'-''f:-vyiy..,i.^y y;.y--:, you'd ..T.;f.or:i from W album

Underworld, Mr Oizo, Phats & Small and album in '""''yvgig^yd,' g.ygg/g y;.:u y. g.iiggygyg ihat-y- James Brown. This album is more funky this already also fea than the trance one and there's more massive col '.'..!:r>V tures essen variation to it as it covers a huge amount lection. Reacti g y /'u .' -yv tial, rare and of dance music, from the classic tunes to vate 14 gives Trance exclusive tracks- the underground dancefloor anthems Nation some top com- many of which have not by some of the finest names in dance petiton and its hard to choose een released. Begs the ques- music. If you like the music they play on between the two. This album is a dou- tion 'why the fuck not?'

with hip hop and french house influ Elementz of Nolze ences. Also featured is the much 'Big Foot' sought after DJ spinna mix of Les (Emotlf) Astrotrax Nuits. You Are My Everything' Olmec Heads Out 14th June. More high quality D&B this time on (White Label) 'Spiritualised' the Emotif label. This is actualy a dou (Neo) ble A side single with the second track Shola Phillips provides the vocals on Vengaboys 'The Arrival' being just as good, if not this very tasty slice of MAW inspired When Paul Oakenfold, Pete Tong and 'Boom Boom Boom Boom' better than 'Big Foot'. garage track. The 12" comes with a Paul Van Dyk are playing a tune, you (Posltlva) Out 31st May. quartet of remixes giving the track a instantly know it is the dog's bollocks soulful, uplifting garage, house ver - and that's what this tune is. This sin With a chorus that goes 'Boom Boom sions. The vocals are sweet and inno gle is a massive progressive tune Boom Boom - I want you in my Future Engineers cent whilst the beats and bass lines opening with some amazing 303 room....' the Vengaboys have Tlmeshlft' allow the single to flow into a dance sounds followed by a catchy piano pulled out all the stops (Good Looking) floor anthem. Not your usual com beat and culminating in a massive on this cheesy mercial rubbish but more of your high first break down before launching summer Very progressive quality garage. into one of the epic tunes of the year. anthem. D&B track There are a couple of mixes, one pro The tragic and a regu- viding the uplifting evrsion whilst the thing is '''-„>,;:.; III. Iar in LTJ second gives a very deep and dark that the . Bukem's De-ryus variation. 'Spiritualised' will be one of bas- I'''txi'elieiui;*.'' ; Vnyjy:'y goygiyy Ivy. '<:. the heeiy or sets. A 'Grass Ain't Greener'

the hits of the summer and it's not ! tards I gig; dv.ddy mv/..ri\, g 'U::.:oy y ;; j:r.d u.'y'i r'g.ol very (Boiler House) hard to see why. actu yS!iS|;Iy:y yy;y i.y.y , . go-g/.dr.,y ggi wgovery dark Out 1st June. ally ^.!rd:n yglgygggg. If starts couple of top mixes from MJ cole and loads 1 .yggfyg, Vi" '?/ go i ' j.i ... uifo iooi.'h.' ffiCU'.,f; off CJ Macintosh. It's a smooth garage

of this yif;|yy.?:iri yyg ;go y.ggyyg y.nri slowly track with a hint of soul to it. The cole Nightmares on Wax cheesy ggg. ii, ;i.h'i;i

catchy that you r beats and a drums and a deep sound. The B side Taken from the highly acclaimed 'Car- will end up dancing haunting melody. offers 'Times Together' with its great boot Soul' album and featuring mixes to this on the dancefloors The filtered pads form the guitar lick and laid back groove. from Paul Nice and Alex Gopher this across Europe this summer. To be backbone for the spritcly breaks , Out 7th June. is an excellent double 12" package. honest, the single is actually quite swirling sci-fi effects combined with The track itself is a very uplifting, soul good and would be better with no the melodies give a real dancefloor ful ballard featuring the delicious vocals!. anthem. Watch out for the flip side vocals of diva sara Winton. But the Out 14th June. which features a deeper ride through strength of the single lies in its remixes D&B music. Music reviews by Gurminder 16 Games 24 May 1999 Tank Racer (PC) Lego Chess (PC) Grolier Interactive Lego Multimedia

tanks (which could never I ego is gelling e\ be confused with real Back in the old old days ol tanks, oh no) to drive hai id ^-^^^^^psj*w?'';;v : each with slightly differ blocks or red, while, blue and ent characteristics, you if you were roali have a variety of courses Ihen came along space lego - ry'|.,..--:'i::y::.fvii some of which could be with fancy rocket shaped bits, »- confused with a small and technical lego - wilh Ihe Wiltshire village) over big iiiifi which to discover what that was not enough I those differences are, you denly themed everything - have things to run over medieval lego, pirate lego, (cows, signs, dustbins and cowboy lego, there is even - ' - 'so on) and you have a now a Star Wars Phantom menace lego Ok so this is chess in lego form. In I once drove a tank. No wait, it's true - variety of power-ups with which to shoot set of kits (early large birthday present order to get the kids interested and tie a day out from school took us to some your fellow Tank Racees. And that's hint). Lego are taking over the brick in the lego aspect the pieces can either god-forsaken wilderness where we were about it. world. come from the cowboy or pirate range let loose with various forms of lethal Except that it's fun. Lots of fun. Not happy with just occupying the of lego. So in the cowboy game the hardware, Even the sin- physical world Lego Multimedia are try pawns are Indian braves, the rooks artil- one of gleplayer ing to take over iary men. which was game (usu the virtual gaming These all this bloody ally the big world. This time march, great tank. let down in the bricks are I didn't games of this muscling in on the and run drive it for sort) is fun. ancient game of across long Tank Racer chess, and the 3D though - I doesn't pre attempting to board as for some tend to be make it fun for the laws reason pushing back more than the of lego they the bound swot at the back of allow seemed to aries of PC the class. (there is feel that gaming in Please don't a 2D nor letting any way, just make me have to mal view someone does exactly explain chess. You might not have played game for the purists, but if you are one with my psychological problems loose what it says on the tin. And in the it for a while but surely you remember of those purists then this game is not with 10 tons of armour and enough fire process has become the best arcade the eight by eight grid and the little really for you). Each time you take a power to level a small Wiltshire village racing game on the PC since MicroMa- pieces you still might call prawns and piece there is also a cute and bloodless wasn't too hot an idea. Anyway, as a chines. horses and castles. Though continuing to cut scene - well it is lego. Some of them result of this considerable experience in Danny call them prawns will usually earn you a even had this old hack smiling - well the field, I can exclusively reveal to you smack on the back of the head from your some of them were straight out of the here in Felix that tanks are not designed opponent any time after the fourth old Road Runner scripts. to be raced. They lack acceleration and move. Try it if you dont believe me. Well ok perhaps you have guessed cornering ability. The Italian Job would its not really been designed for have been a very different film had the the University student in mind makers used tanks rather than minis. - more the 6 year old set, so Remember - you read it here first. the level of the game is hard Now, given its name, there may be rather than Deep blue level. some of you who have jumped to the But this aside it is just so very conclusion that Tank Racer is a game cute you can't completely which involves racing tanks. And you'd ignore it. The sort of game be absolutely right. Think Mariokart64 your gran and grandad could with tanks and without the irritating Nin- play, not like that nasty vicious tendo-stylee cuddly animals, and you kingpin game...oooohhh all have a pretty good idea of what lies that swarelng. within this game. You have a variety of Gary S. Competition Corner

Age of Empires and Expansion Pack answer and winner

Oh please boys and girls, what do they teach you guys in school ? The answer to the question : What clothing Innovation are the celts usually associated with are the trousers. (The kilt is just a little bit too much like a skirt to be an innovation really.)

So the winner is Suwa Du Fung He can pick up the prize from the office any lunch time this week. 24 May 1999 Games 17 Gex 3 - Deep cover Gecko (PSX) Akuji the Heartless (PSX)

Eidos Eidos

Get nwcquatofed with m all-new GEX. a thought about it they have sorted out One line Summary: mi ,i Mi . \Ui en' is a few things but missed others. The ana Voodoo bloke, no heart, logue control gives a bit more of a seeks evil brother to perform chance of making the long jumps, but nasty revenge on - please the damn camera angles can lead to send photo. throwing things at the TV in anger after missing the jump for the tenth time - What's It all about: make sure you have a large supply of pil On the eve of a marrage to lows and cushions. The missions go from the local rival clan leader's the trivial to PhD problem complex and daughter Akuji gets the passing through the level expected of a worse of a sibling rivalry that solo reviewer quite soon - oh yeah kill the started when Akuji tricked Santa by flying kicking the Xmas pre his brother into eating dog sents obvious really - not. shit or something equally bad. Orad gets his mates to Sex and Violence: rip out Akuji's heart condeming him to taking on the local cats and dogs the Lizard human hybrids are definatelty not hell and is about to sacrifice Akuji's bride- average hell hound comes with sharper teeth. The solution - voodoo magic. One line Summary: on the cards and the poster left is the to-be for desert. Akuji strikes a deal which There is more magic down in the hell Wise cracking gecko, rescues the girl, nearest we get to see any flesh. Vio would allow him to exit the underworld world than a million Paul Daniels and gets the baddie, saves the entire planet lence is as violence does - its all car and sort out Orad good and proper - David Copperfields and most of it pretty by tall spinning and bouncing through toony tail swishing. unfortunately this deal is a bit on the effective at stopping monsters chomping this 3-D action adventure. harsh side - well who said getting out of Best bit: hell was easy. on your cheeks. The contol method is good - with a neat sniper mode for those What's It all about: The snowboarding and other stages like long range precision spells. Fourteen Gex gets a urgent message. Rez is back it. Gex playing snow dude while smack Good Graphics: levels will also keep the interest up. If you and this time hes gone and made it per ing evil elves with a spinning snowboard Makes Lara look dowdy and tatty. Akuji are expecting lots of puzzles this isn't sonal by kidnapping Agent Xtra (Mar- - madness and much mirth. walks, jumps, slashes his way through really it, more a Tomb Raider 2 than 1. liece Andrada - large breasted actress of his high detailed hell. The lighting effects Baywatch Worst Bit: alone are impressive and the monsters fame). Its once The whole look very polygon like, they move fairly Sex and Violence: again time for repetitive quickly though. Well violence anyway, with Freddy Kruger Gex to enter nature of the gloves, the ability to morph into a pan the various game, each Seraphim Sounds: ther and a wide range of fire, blast and themed worlds world has Voodoo blood drainin^ to collect mis four missions styled music, . | i. It. i : sion remote each starting the odd plenty of vio- controls in from the whoosh of order to unlock same entry magic, nr her TV prison. point, with buzzing of ~" Best bit: Yep its the the same monsters in Morhing into a PlayStation's enemies with the area. panther is pretty favourite Mario the same Nothing too cool, so are some of the nastier clone back again. moves. Oh and Danny John-Jules saying impressive the same thing fifteen things does not and defi- spells - the poses- sion spell allows Good Graphics: make the phrase any funnier. This is not nately noth Akuji to take over Gex once again spoils us with cartoony Vic and Bob's big night out any more. ing out of the enemies fast flowing detailed animation, colour the ordinary. body and rattle ful and detailed backgrounds. Mario is So who will get It: Gex the Gecko play them till they explode. Scanners eat your really starting to look dated and slow in ers, Playstation mario converts. It's a Great Gameplay: heart out - or on second thoughts. comparison. good 3D cartoony platform let down by Lara had her two pistols up front and per a few niggly camera angle problems sonal to take out the bad guys. Akuji Seraphim Sounds: and repetitive gameplay spots, repetitive instead prefers to go for it claw against Worst Bit: Standard themed tunes for the different gameplay spots, repetitive gameplay claw, and has a rather sharp shaving Nothing really stands out. The monsters areas, Chrismassy tunes for the Santa spots.... blade strapped on the end of his mittens. can look a little bit mechanical espe World, Creepy Scooby music for the mys Gary S. Now while this seems a good idea for cially when compared against Akuji's tery world even a Egyptian detail and the backgrounds. themed tune. No big names for the music...but flit So Who will get it: 3 D Third per Danny John-Jules (Cat from son action adventurers who Red Dwarf) is the voice of jj§H| believe that Gex and Mario are the shifty little lizard, and for the kids - Ok the Lara Croft m amazingly enough Marliece crowd. Anyone who wants a Andrada gets to read her decent adult themed 3D plat- own lines. former.

* >> Great Gameplay: But Is It better than Gex 3 : Gex the Gecko was annoy It hasn't got the little irritating ing difficult to control and problems that just knock the although having had a bit of edge off Gex so yes. 18 Games 24 May 1999 Darkstalkers 3 (PSX)

Virgin Interactive

Good Graphics: But this is the Arcade quality cartoon graphics - though whole problem. I'm saying Neo geo southside arcade The 2D beat-em-up quality not Namco World. Sure they move is stuck in a bit of a like they are meant to but there is very rut. We've had car little here that is new or special. toons, motion cap ture and even Seraphim Sounds: model animation Like a Neo-geo unit. Come back in five beat-em-ups but years and it might be retro but it Just there is very little sounds very dated. new here. The ana logue controller PlayStation Great Gameplay: might rumble and Better than the average 2D beat-em-up. the one player

Summary: There is the usual combination attacks, game contains the Creatures of the night, fight! auto defence for beginners, even secret feature where the character gains expe or undead we will pass straight over the moves you can find out how to do on rience and new moves after every battle, necrophilia jokes on stiffs. The violence but it belongs in the same bin pac-man What's it all about: web sites throughout the world. aspect - well it is a fighting game after all. and space invaders - Beat-em-up arcade g; Violence and fighting, hmm there could till someone sorts out from the Capcom neo- actually be a link here. Though in true a better way of con family. Naughty old Jed Capcom style the only thing on the floor trolling the player In theDarkWorld-asm, will be tears when you get beat ten times other than pressing side Chelmsford, has fc in a row. Blood is definately not an keys this type of urrected and with not option. game is not going to Saturday night. Fancyin make a big come of a fighter he's sumn Who Will buy It: back. The future owners of Valuable soul Darkstalkers 2 players, fans of manga might just be VR con unite under one rule - cartoons wanting a beat-em-up. Buffy trollers - eventually. lowing one too many the Vampire slayer watchers buying arguement over who w; purely based on the large breasted of Rod, Jane and Fredc Sex and Violence: woman on the front cover holding the has been blown out of As most of the char skull is really dark. acters are either dead CaryS

5t to tower! any purchase over £10. just pop down to tower records on kensington high st. and produce your Union card at the counter.

offer ends 30/06/99. excludes already discounted sale product, offer applies to the kensington store only.

kensington : 0171 938 3511 www.towerrecords.co.uk 24 May 1999 Sport 19

KENDO From the Sidelines New comer Imperial takes gold So Manchester United have won the don't forget there is a World Cup on in For those of you who are unfamiliar with bringing the Silver medal to the Imper Premiership and are one third of the this country at the moment. Yes that's Kendo (and that, I should think, would be ial-Cheltenham & Gloucester combined way to fulfilling my prediction of their right, it's my weekly plug for the cricket most of you), it is a Japanese martial art team. treble chances (Felix 1143). By the time world cup. It so far is looking to be a type sport fought between two people It was such a shame we couldn't stay for you read this of course the outcome of good tournament with England win using bamboo swords. It has gained the buffet afterwards since we had to the FA Cup final will be known (my pre ning their games against Sri Lanka and popularity in Europe over the past few catch the last coach back to London diction was Newcastle to win in extra Kenya, and I was at the Oval on Satur years and the ICU Kendo club was which surely would have been gone had time) and the build up will have begun day to watch them take on South Africa founded this March, thanks to much we been another 30 seconds late. Hope to the European Cup Final on Wednes (hopefully they won). running around by Koichiro Yoshida and fully, next year, we'll have one, if not day evening in Barcelona (I have Man The ticketing system under which I his dedicated committee. Around 40 more, teams of our own and make the United winning that one). Before any obtained those tickets, however, is members (which is amazing considering buffet as well as winning the medals of you think it, I am not a Man U fan rather odd, in that I had to submit my how new the club is!) are currently train and trophies! (even though I was born in London, request for them over a year before the ing every Wednesday and Friday from With one of, if not the best university which seems to be where most of their start of the tournament. Last year's 8.30pm to 10.00pm at Southside Gym. kendo player in as founder and president fans come from), but I think we should football world cup in France was an So, what results can an only-just-founded- of the club, the ICU Kendo Club is sure take a moment to step back and look event selling a much greater number of club bring near the end of the academic to flourish and continue to be success at how well Alex Ferguson has done tickets to a much bigger world-wide year? On Saturday 1st May, the Annual ful in the years to come. If you are inter with his teams. In the 7 year history of audience, and the tickets for that didn't University 'Taikai" (Championships) were ested in joining us, contact HYPERLINK the Premiership, Man U have won the have to be ordered a year in advance. held at Cheltenham & Gloucester College mailto:[email protected] league 5 times out of 7. They have an Also this is the last world cup in this and both individual and team competi [email protected] or come along unending supply of youthful, British, tal country for a generation. You would tions were fought throughout the day. to one of our training sessions. We ent and one of the best managers in have thought the England and Wales This year, seven universities (IC, UCL, hope to see more of you next year! the game for the next 5 years. However Cricket Board would be shouting about Oxford, Cambridge, Sheffield, Kent and much you love or hate the team, you it from the rooftops, but I have yet to Cheltenham & Gloucester) took part. A couple of weeks ago a report was have to respect the ability to keep see a single TV advert (other than the While the other colleges arrived on their submitted about a pool tournament churning out the quality players. Con ones for Sky). Still a much larger num minibuses on big teams, it was Koichiro between Southside and the Union. Sur trast this with the fortunes of one of the ber of people seem to know about it Yoshida from Imperial who, having got prisingly I do have standards for what other two teams to win the Premiership, than I expected, and the arguments up at 5.00am and travelled for 3 hours gets into the Sports pages, and while Blackburn Rovers, who will being endur over what should be on the tele in my from Victoria on coach, won the Cham they are quite low, this article didn't ing 1st division football next season. hall look set to continue for the next pionship title with an outstanding per reach the minimum. Suffice to say that But while all this football is going on, couple of weeks at least. formance. He also contributed in Southside won 9 -6. "even though the season has ended,

Anyone purchasing a Summer Ball Ticket will now be entered into a weekly draw, where the following fabulous prizes could be yours: 14" Colour Television (Courtesy of ICU Catering) Two Person Tent (Courtesy of the YHA store) Dinner for Two at Luigi Malone's (Courtesy of Luigi Malone's) Your money back on the cost of Two Tickets $ iCU Free Suit Hire (Courtesy of Youngs Suit Hire) * T V YA VHR A IMI'IKIAI.COI.liniMiNK IK Free Haircut (Courtesy of Anne Russell Hair) ^p/vLACF^ The sooner you get your Ticket the MORE YOU CAN WIN! Ticket deadline Monday 7th June All students £55 (Subject to proof) 20 Sport & Crossword 24 May 1999

CRICKET-1st XI The Story So Far...

On a pitch far, far away (well, just next to So IC proceed to the Quarter Finals, Heathrow in fact), 3 weeks ago, the IC by Gus Paul and hope to go one better than the last cricket team began the second consec winning IC team from 1971/72, who utive defence of the ULU Cricket Cup. overs. Jawwad, who has obviously been 15 runs off the final over, which was to could not manage to capture the cup And what a good start they made. Three watching Brian Lara's recent form, hit prove crucial later on. After the tea inter three years on the trot It looks to be an wins out of three in the preliminary group the GKT attack to all parts in scoring 168 val the players returned to a backdrop of exciting summer ahead. stages, sees IC cruising into the quarter - at one point scoring 106 out of a part black clouds and lightning bolts, and the finals for a home tie against either Royal nership of 108 with Alex Wright. A shell- umpire was unwilling to begin in the SCOREBOARD Holloway or LSE. shocked GKT couldn't even come close potential hazardous conditions. After Imperial's defence of the title they to IC's total, being skittled out for just 76, an hours break, the players returned to CRICKET have won the past two years began with Kav taking 3 for 29. a soggier field, Bart's requiring 72 off 15 1st XI a game against St. Georges. All the ULU The third game was a much closer overs. They complained about IC IC 230/5 (Rasheed 119*) v St. Georges matches are 40 over limited over affairs, matchup against St. Bart's. The winners bowlers bowling more than 8 overs each, 109/9 (K Patel 3-29) but all of IC's matches so far have been would guarantee a home tie in the Quar- but were rebuffed when the tules were IC won by 121 runs affected by rain. IC batted first against terFinals, and both teams were confi produced. They proceeded to spend St George's and made an impressive 230 dent of victory. A beautiful afternoon at their innings whining on the boundary, IC 252/3 (Rasheed 168) v GKT 76 (Patel for 5 off 35 overs, Jawwad Rasheed Harlington saw IC win the toss and score while a very tense match was unfolding 3-33) (Mech Eng I) hitting 118 not out. There 191/9 off their 40 overs, against a Bart's in the dim light out in the middle. The IC won by 176 runs was more rain and St Georges couldn't team containing only 10 fielders (they medics lost their first 4 wickets cheaply cope with their new target, finishing on had forgotten to bring an umpire with and were never able to get back ahead IC 191/9 v St. Bart's 69/5 (chasing 72 off 109 for 9, ULU captain Simon Holliday them so were forced to use a fielder as of the run rate, although 16 extras con 15) scoring a half century and Kav Patel tak square leg umpire). Jawwad couldn't ceded by IC allowed them to reach 69 for IC won by 2 runs ing 3 for 33. continue his form, but he still joint top 5 off their 15 overs, meaning IC won by IC captilised on this opening victory scored with 32, sharing a 62 run part just 2 runs. Kav bowled unchanged from 2nd XI the next week, by thrashing GKT 2nds. IC nership with Murali (also 32). Last wicket the motorway end and captured 2 for 30, At this point I would have put in some made a massive 252 for 3, again off 35 pair Nigel Terry and Mark Dawkins scored taking his season's wicket tally to 8. 2nd XI scores, but I forgot to write them down. Sorry.

Entries for this week's crossword should be received by Wednesday 1 pm. CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

by Sheep Across Down

1 Concealed room beneath church 1 See? He rubs like angels. (7) and college. (7) 2 Sweaters that hang open in rancid 3 Without the alien, a bath on the Adri gas. (9) atic coast. (7) 4 Sheltered window-screen covered 7 I am fifty in forty correct, action. (9) eyes. (11) 9 Dianne Hurst is without a stain. (11) 5 To use oars excites! (7) 12 It is a moat, hidden in the South 6 Reveal stinging pains to gain advan Pacific. (5) tage by cleverness. (9) 13 Similar to a logo in your arsehole. (9) 8 A quiet wood. (3) 15 Hot chemical change in prissy oil. (9) 10 Designating a portion (again) of a lit 16 Pieces by two start defying alien in tle organ. (11) America. (5) 11 He forecasts Roget and Jim to swap 18 Cavemen get old story. (11) heads in the deputy vice-chancellor. 20 Taken for granted tax ends; I owe (9) mother tea, we hear, I see. (9) 14 Beast, soul principles are always true. 21 Oh, you are needless! Throughout an (9) idea. (7) 15 Joke man has acrid smell. (7) 22 Constable Bernard takes away renal. 17 Attach a suspect start to a fitting end. Corn pushed in sharply. (7) (7) 19 I 'ear there's no place like an SI unit. (3)

Evian Competition

Congratulations to Jacqueline Ah-Wong, Alexis Biller and

Answers to 1145 Rosalind Ng, who all correctly identified that Evian water

Across: 1 Sour, 3 Upwardness, 8 Lest, Down: 1 Syllabuses, 2 Unsalaried, comes from the French Alps, specifically Evian-Les-Bains, and 9 Floatation, 11 Ailurophobe, 15 Rap 4 Polyp, 5 Diametrical, 6 Exit, port, 17 Range, 18 Erect, 19 Deduces, 7 Skin, 10 Aborted, 12 Repatriated, managed to copy the website successfully. Please come into 20 Initialling, 24 Appetising, 25 Anon, 13 Unassigned, 14 Belongings, 16 26 Breadboard, 27 Adds Ordains, 21 Inner, 22 Barb, 23 Apse the Felix office at the end of the week to collect your prizes.