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The Concept of Fatherhood in Traditional Jewish Sources and Its Impact on Current Views of Fatherhood

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The Concept of Fatherhood in Traditional Jewish Sources and Its Impact on Current Views of Fatherhood University of Cape Town The Concept of Fatherhood in Traditional Jewish Sources and Its Impact on Current Views of Fatherhood By Ephraim Levitz מוגש להענקת תואר דוקטור לפילוסופיה מאת אפרים לויץ University of Cape Town Thesis presented for the Degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY In the Department of Hebrew and Jewish Studies University of Cape Town September 2014 1 The copyright of this thesis vests in the author. No quotation from it or information derived from it is to be published without full acknowledgement of the source. The thesis is to be used for private study or non- commercial research purposes only. Published by the University of Cape Town (UCT) in terms of the non-exclusive license granted to UCT by the author. University of Cape Town Abstract This thesis proposes that Jewish children brought up in observant families have advantage over children who grow up in secular households. The thesis shows that it is not necessarily due to the religious scriptures, to which they are exposed, nor to the commandments, which the families adhere to; rather to the fact that observant men who follow the traditional way of life are more available to their children, and their presence and familial responsibilities bring about stability that helps the children to flourish. The research is a cross section between ancient religious text and Modern Hebrew literature. Through the prism of the traditional Jewish perspective of fathering, it examines all depictions of fatherhood in the works of the prize- winning Israeli author, Haim Sabato. As a leading member of the observant Orthodox community and an accomplished contemporary writer, Sabato's works serve as a great testament of life within traditional communities. The role of the father in society has changed dramatically in the last few decades. In many countries, the numbers of births per year have consistently dropped. The percentages of children being raised in fatherless homes has risen steadily. Statistics point to a myriad of challenges amongst the children in these families. Despite the trends in the broader society, the observant Jewish community has displayed a strong commitment to the institution of marriage, as set down in the tradition. Men marry at an earlier age and the number of children remains above the average. The incidence of divorce is lower, and child abandonment is rare. The research provides an understanding of the Jewish way of life. The focus of the research centers on the behaviors of the father towards the son. Through close reading and analysis, this research shows the impact of the tradition on the Jewish male's attitude towards fathering, and highlights those aspects of the tradition that have helped maintain the availability of the "traditional" father and its impact on the stability of the home. The routine 2 and patterned lifestyle of the observant Jew provides many opportunities for healthy interaction between fathers and sons. The thesis shows that this sense of stability and availability is a vital factor in the son's development into a flourishing adult, who is a positive member of the community. The language of the thesis is English with Hebrew quotes, from both ancient and contemporary sources. Key Words: Fatherhood, Jewish Religion, Haim Sabato, Talmud, Parenting, Hebrew Literature, Tradition, Customs, Continuity 3 Acknowledgements I would like to express my utmost gratitude to my wife Nurit and our wonderful children for all the encouragement to follow my dream. My sincere thanks to my advisor and mentor Dr. Azila Reisenberger for sharing her expertise and guidance at all stages of the research. My sincere appreciation to the Mendel Kaplan Center for Jewish Studies for their trust in my academic abilities, and for their generous bursaries and continued support throughout the research. To Deena Glickman and Linda Wolff for their invaluable editing assistance. 4 Table of Contents Section 1: Introduction ............................................................................................ 6 Section 2: The Concept of Male and Female ...................................................... 12 Section 3: The Concept of Fatherhood ................................................................ 22 Section 4: Fatherhood Studies: Research to Date .............................................. 28 Section 5: Jewish Family Life: Theory and Practice .......................................... 36 Section 6: Paternal Responsibilities According to Jewish Law ....................... 49 Section 7: Rabbi Haim Sabato – His Life and Work ......................................... 64 Section 8: Emet Me’Eretz Titzmach .................................................................... 74 Section 9: Depiction of Fatherhood in Novella 1: Galgal Chozer Ba’Olam .................... 79 Section 10: Depiction of Fatherhood in Novella 2: Emet Me’Eretz Titzmach ................ 107 Section 11: Depiction of Fatherhood in Novella 3: Shivrei Luchot .................................. 120 Section 12: Volume 2: Tium Kavannot ............................................................. 133 Section 13: Depiction of Fatherhood in Adjusting Sights .............................. 136 Section 14: Volume 3: K’Afapay Shachar ......................................................... 151 Section 15: Depiction of Fatherhood in K’Afapay Shachar ........................... 156 Section 16: Volume 4: Boi HaRuach .................................................................. 174 Section 17: Depiction of Fatherhood in Boi Haruach ..................................... 178 Section 18: Conclusions ...................................................................................... 218 Bibliography ......................................................................................................... 235 5 Section 1 Introduction Fatherhood itself has become problematic in our culture. I first realized how bad things had become in the 1980’s. I’d been giving a talk about family life to a group of Jews and Christians in the north of England, and afterwards a local vicar came up to me and told me how bad things were in his parish. I used to go around schools, he said, talking about God the Father, but I can’t do it anymore because the children don’t understand. And the word they don’t understand isn’t God; it’s father.1 1.1 Raison D’etre As the father of seven children and an educator for the past thirty years, I have always been intrigued by the relationship and dynamics between fathers and their children. The care of young children has always been a natural endeavor for me. Although I grew up as the youngest of three siblings, I found many outlets to involve myself with children. Assisting families with young children and serving as counselor’s aide in the local day camp in Chicago provided many hours of experience. As I grew older, I had two wishes: To marry young and to have many children. Fortunately, both goals were achieved. I married Nurit in 1981, just prior to my twenty first birthday. Since the two of us shared a similar vision of raising a large family, the decision to have children as soon as possible was mutual. The first three children were born within a span of five years and much time and energy were invested in dealing with the day to day maintenance of a growing household. By our fourteenth anniversary we had our full complement of seven children. It was a busy time. 1 Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, “Maternal Identity,” Covenant and Conversation (April 2009). http://www.ou.org/torah/article/maternal_identity#.UtvtqrT8LIU. 6 In the early years of parenting, my role as father was not clearly defined. It could easily have been described as ongoing mother’s aid and support. I observed closely every behavior my wife performed with the children, and in a short time I could do most of them with a reasonable level of proficiency. Instead of one mother, in regards to the feeding, grooming, and overall maintenance of the children, it appeared that our children had two. I often asked myself these questions: What unique role am I supposed to play as father? Does this duty come with a set of expectations and responsibilities? Where can this knowledge be found? 1.2 The Religious Component I was born and raised in an American Jewish home. Both of my parents came from non-observant Jewish families, yet they had a strong Jewish identity and many basic rituals were maintained in my home. As I grew older, I became more interested and involved in the Orthodox tradition. I chose to become a rabbi and teacher of religious studies. Although I was inclined to have children long before I adopted a religious lifestyle, I believe the spirit of the tradition held great influence on my attitudes towards family life. In 1985, I assumed my first teaching position in an elementary school in Israel. As school rabbi, I supervised all religious instruction for grades 1–6. My duties included weekly visits to many of the local kindergartens in order to share an inspirational message. From the beginning of my career, I was in contact with hundreds of children and their parents. Unlike many of my peers who sought positions in high schools and college level institutions, I chose to work with pre-school and elementary age children. My intuitive skills and understanding of the young mind provided me with an invaluable springboard for creating meaningful learning experiences for my students. My work was extremely rewarding, providing much insight into the nature of young children. In the same way that I 7 enjoyed
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