November 2012

A New Haven Tradition since 1892

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Heshvan-Kislev 5773 Vol. 18 Issue 10 Page 3: Pumpkin Pie Order Form Zero-Waste Bar Mitzva Feast

At Shabbat services, Oct. 27, Zev York celebrated becom- the packaging can be recycled. (Think about all the wasted ing a bar mitzva at BEKI. Because he and his parents, Annie plastic in which most consumer goods are packaged!) Annie Wareck and Iain York, are dedicated to preserving the envi- has passed this passion along to her children. At five years old, ronment, they decided to hold what they call a “zero-waste bar Zev started growing fruits and vegetables under grow lights mitzva feast.” This means that all of the dishes, utensils, cups, inside during the winter for later transplanting to the garden. and paper goods used at the qiddush immediately follow- For his bar mitzva project he plans to start a community ing services were made of compostable garden where he will teach inner-city materials—leaf, corn, and sugarcane children and adults to reduce waste by by-products. The food waste and used planting their own fruits and vegetables. plates, cups, utensils and paper goods Now to the details of the zero-waste were collected together in compostable bar mitzva reception: Annie admits trash bags and then taken to a com- that it took energy, effort and research mercial compost site. All the cans and to make this happen. In a thoughtful bottles were recycled in a single stream, approach, she searched the web for leaving zero waste from this reception on-line vendors because compostable for about 350 people. plates, cups, and utensils are not gener- Native New Haven resident Annie ally available in local party-goods stores. Wareck explains that the family’s pas- She even made sure the teabags selected sion for recycling and protecting the for the reception did not have a staple, environment is a family affair that was which cannot be recycled. For a hauler, started in the early 1970s, well before she chose John’s Refuse, which serves the current environmental movement, by Annie’s mother, the New Haven area, because its Global Environmental divi- Barbara Wareck. At that time Barbara began a grass-roots sion is committed to environmental protection. John’s Refuse recycling effort to collect newspapers and bottles in New Ha- picked up the bagged compostable waste and took it to a com- ven. Today, fortunately, there are ways to do this that were not mercial compost site, and also picked up the recyclables for available in the 1970s when her mother drove around in a van delivery to a recycling plant. delivering recyclables. Annie admits that it costs more to purchase compostable As Annie says, recycling and protecting the environment paper goods, but buying in bulk keeps the unit cost down. And “are in my blood.” For instance, before making a buying there is no additional labor to this initiative, only reward for decision, she and her family take into consideration whether the planet. BEKI Bulletin November 2012

BEKI Bulletin THERE IS A DIFFERENCE The newsletter is published monthly by Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel for the benefit of its members. Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel is affiliated with the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism. To contribute articles or for inquiries regarding membership: • Call the Synagogue office: (203) 389-2108 • Write: 85 Harrison Street, New Haven, CT 06515-1724 • Email: [email protected] • Visit our web page: www.beki.org It’s about our unique approach to building For advertising information, call the synagogue office. educational excellence on a foundation of Deadline for submission of ads or articles is the first of Jewish tradition and values, an appreciation of modern culture and a firm belief in the the month preceding publication. importance of weaving learning into living. Annual subscription is $36 To learn more about the Ezra Academy BEKI Bulletin © 2012 Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel. difference, visit www.ezraacademy.net A Message from Rabbi Tilsen & Dear Rabbi © 2012 Jon-Jay Tilsen. All rights reserved.

Editor Rabbi Jon-Jay Tilsen Associate Editor Donna Levine 75 Rimmon Road, Woodbridge, CT Associate Editor Donna Kemper (203) 389-5500 www.ezraacademy.net Associate Editor Herbert Winer Photographer Charles Ludwig

Accepting Applications Now

360 Amity Road, Woodbridge, CT 06525

For information or to schedule your visit: 203.907.0055 [email protected] www.jhsct.org

Benefit Congregation Beth El-Keser Israel Ask us about establishing a fund, trust or annuity to ensure BEKI’s future.

Charitable giving strengthens our Community and provides the donor with tax savings.

Stephen Glick Lisa A. Stanger, Esq. Chair, Director Board of Trustees 203 387-2424 x382 [email protected]

2 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org NewsPPuummppkkiinn && AAppppllee PPIIEESS!! 1188th yyeeaarr!!!!

AThanksgivingTreatforYou,YourFriends,YourFamily!!! OrafantasticholidaydonationtotheConnecticutFoodBank!!!

FRESHLY MADE, KOSHER, PAREVE, FROZEN, AND READY TO BAKE (AND DELICIOUS, TOO)!!! SPECIALLY PREPARED JUST FOR YOU by BEKI/B'nai Jacob USY

ALL PROFITS ARE DONATED TO TZEDAKAH PROJECTS ______

Each year before the Thanksgiving Holiday, the BEKI/BJ USY (United Synagogue Youth) chapter prepares delicious pumpkin and apple pies for the community. These pies are UNBAKED and FROZEN so when you receive them they can be defrosted and baked fresh for your holiday table according to the instructions enclosed with each pie. *all preparation done under supervision in the BEKI kitchen DONATE PIES!!! In addition to the pies you order for yourself, you can support BEKI/BJ USY and do a mitzvah at the same time by ordering pies to be delivered to the Connecticut Food Bank as part of our social action/tikun olam (SATO) program. Your generosity is whole-heartedly appreciated.

BE SURE TO ORDER IMMEDIATELY - DEADLINE IS NOVEMBER 5th !!

QUESTIONS? ContactUSYers ShaynaWeinsteinat[email protected],or YouthCommissionmember–DarrylKuperstockat203Ǧ387Ǧ0304or[email protected]

Pies will be available for PICK-UP at both Congregation Beth El - Keser Israel - BEKI (85 Harrison Street, New Haven) and Congregation B'nai Jacob (75 Rimmon Road, Woodbridge) Tuesday, November 20TH 5:30 – 7pm

Please make all checks payable to BEKI/BJ USY and send to: Shayna Weinstein, 12 Cow Path Lane, Woodbridge CT, 06525

THANK YOU! Keep for your reference: ORDER: _____Pumpkin_____Apple_____For donation _____Gift Boxes PICK-UP AT: ____BEKI____BJ on NOVEMBER 20th from 5:30 t0 7pm ------Please tear off and enclose this FORM and your check when ordering pies Retain top half as a reminder of your order! TOTAL ORDER: _____Pumpkin Pies @ $9.50 each = $______Apple Pies @ $9.50 each = $______Pies for donation @ $9.50 each = $______Gift Boxes @ $2.00 each = $______Total Pies Ordered $______Enclosed

Name: ______Home Phone: ______Email: ______

I will pick up my pies at ____B'nai Jacob _____BEKI on Tuesday, Nov. 20th

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 3 LifeCycle

Bruce, grandson of Albert Friedman, Nov. 30 - Dec. 1, HaMaqom Yenahem parashat VaYishlah.

With sorrow we note the passing of Simhat Bat Baby Naming Erica Haley Miller, daughter of Wes & Jaime Miller, Ralph John “Jack” Janette, granddaughter of Harold & Bobie Miller, Shabbat morning father of Natan Janette (& Judi Shanok) Nov. 3. Lynn M. Sitrin, Mazal Tov to mother of Steve Sitrin (& Rebecca Gratz) Rafi & Bonnie Prober on the birth of Elisha Ruth in Irwin Gerber, September, granddaughter of Daniel & Sharon Prober. father of Alan (& Rachel Wiseman) Gerber Rebecca Gratz & Steve Sitrin on their Nisuin (mar- Rose Goldring Brunswick, riage under a huppa) during the summer. mother of Barbara Cushen, Mimi & Effi Glenn celebrating the 50th Anniversary of grandmother of David Wright their Nisuin (Jewish marriage). May the Almighty comfort those who mourn LeHitraot Jack & Amy Gilron have returned to Be’er Sheva, Is- rael, after a year as BEKI members during a sabbatical year Benei Mitzva Observances in New Haven. Jack & Amy write, “You were a wonderful Yonatan Hirshfield, son of Monica Starr & Andrew Hir- ‘home away from home’ for us this past year. We deeply shfield, grandson of Jay & Marjorie Hirshfield, Nov. 9-10, enjoyed getting to know you, learning, praying, preparing parashat Hayei Sara. kiddushes together and eating together. Wishing all of you a Sophia Bruce, daughter of Harriet Friedman & Charles good New Year full of meaning and blessing.”

Introducing: Vatiqim Dr. Steve Werlin, who specializes in Shabbat Shmooze Seniors Events ancient Judaism and religious studies. On Nov. 3: Harry Houdini and Hearing the call for activities for Topics are Hasidut today, close study Other Jewish Magicians of the Golden our BEKI community seniors (and of an intriguing text, and the history Age of Magic. Learn about the im- friends), BEKI will offer a three-week and archeology of the mikve. Speakers portance of Jewish magicians during tefila and learning will encourage participants to discuss the late Victorian Era and early 20th program. On three topics freely and ask questions. century. BEKI personality and magi- Thursday morn- The programs begin at 8:15a cian CJ May offers a crystal ball look ings BEKI Elders with minyan. Participants are request- into this fascinating and little known and their friends ed to be on time and to please plan to field followed by a Shomer Shabbat are specially in- attend all three sessions to promote a demonstration of magical feats to il- vited to morning cohesive group. There is no charge, lustrate the discussion. Information: minyan beginning donations towards breakfast will be [email protected]. CJ offers at 8:15, followed appreciated, and transportation can be this talk as one of many events taking by breakfast, Pam Reis provided if needed. place as part of Magic Week http:// learning, and possibly a field trip. BEKI members are welcome to invite www.magicnewhaven.com/ Dates scheduled are Nov. 15 and 29 friends to the series but RSVP to Ina Library News and Dec. 6. Silverman at (203) 389-2108 x 13, New: Avivah Gottlieb Zornberg, Speakers include Rabbi Yossi and and feel free to make suggestions The Particulars of Rapture: Reflec- Ms. Rochel Baila Yaffe of Chabad for future topics and speakers (and a tions on Exodus, gift of Jack & Amy of the Shoreline, Ms. Pam Reis who different name for the group) Gilron. is an independent Torah scholar, and

4 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org Youth

Bar Mitzva Project Trip to Israel To my friends at BEKI: Please support our Ezra Academy 8th grade students as I have always been interested in music, so much that I they raise money toward their trip to Israel. started Suzuki Cello lessons when I was four years old and Ezra 8th graders at BEKI include Madeleine Cahn, Dan- I have been playing ever since. I have been involved in pri- iel Cooper, Dustin Gad, Matthew Fiedler, Ari Kaufman- vate lessons, group ensemble groups, chamber music and I Frankel, Katya Labowe-Stoll, and Ben Surman. am currently playing in a Youth Orchestra. I feel fortunate Each year, Ezra Academy 8th graders are each required that I have had the opportunity to pursue something that I to work for a minimum of 30 hours to support their trip to really love to do. Israel. Living in the New Haven area, I realize that not all Please think ahead to all those tasks for which you need students have access to learning music like I have been able some extra hands and hire one of our wonderful Ezra 8th to. I learned about Music Haven from my Safta, Margie graders to do the job. Hirshfield, and I thought I would like to try to help those Examples: Babysitting, children’s birthday parties, face kids who love music, but can’t always afford it. painting, princess parties, yard work (e.g. weeding, mulch- Music Haven is a non-profit organization committed ing, raking, fall clean-up), car cleaning, soccer and basket- to building a way for kids who live in the Dixwell, Hill, ball lessons, garage and basement cleaning, simple tutoring Dwight or Newhallville neighborhoods of New Haven to (Hebrew, math, reading, computer), help on snowy days, have access to tuition-free string music lessons, string in- dog walking, pet sitting for vacations, Pesah “switchovers” struments, chamber music classes plus many other things & “switchbacks,” supervision for your children during For my Bar Mitzva project I will be making a donation parent-teacher conferences, and more. to Music Haven and hope you can consider a donation of Feel free to contact an 8th grader directly or if you have money, string instruments, bows, string instrument cases or a job to offer and would like help in finding an Ezra th8 even volunteer for them as well. grader, please contact Joy Kaufman at (203) 387-7262. Please contact Music Haven by phone at (203) 745-9030 Thank you. Ezra Academy is our affiliated Masorti-Conser- or via their website www.musichavenct.org and indicate vative Jewish Day School. that this is in honor of “Yoni Hirshfield’s Bar Mitzva Proj- ect” Thank you for helping me with this project. Yoni Hirshfield

Shabbat Winter Schedule The Jewish Theological Seminary of Torah Reading Erev Shabbat (Friday evening) be- America on Sunday Nov. 4 from 2:30 To read Bereishit through Dec. gins with Qabbalat Shabbat; 6 o’clock to 4:30 p.m. Info and registration at 29, contact Rabbi Eric Silver at eric. is too late for minha, which may be (212) 678-8978 [email protected] [email protected] . To learn to read recited individually earlier in the after- and www.jtsa.edu/hymanconf . Photo Torah, contact Darryl Kuperstock at ku- noon. Shabbat minha (Saturday after- ID required for entry. [email protected] or call (203) 387-0304. noon) service begins at a variable time Ramah Jerusalem High School Sukka Hop Toda (getting earlier each week through An info session on TRY and USY Thanks to the Abraham Family, the the winter solstice), about the candle High in Jersualem will be held in Robbins family, the Doherty/Ruder- lighting hour, and is followed by a Westport on Sunday Nov. 4, details at man Family, Rachel Light, Jonathan study period, Maariv and Havdala. See (212) 678-8883 or ramahisrael@jtsa. Freiman, the Avni-Singer Family, and schedule for exact times each week. edu . the Weiner/Rastelli Family for their Paula Hyman Memorial Matisyahu Concert: extreme and radical hospitality and A memorial celebrating the life and Sunday Nov. 4 at 7:30 p.m. at Toad’s generosity in hosting 65 people along work of Paula Hyman will be held at Place in New Haven. the Sukka hop with food and activity.

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 5 Sisterhood

Sisterhood Gift Shop old, the incurable, the helpless are the the patient’s bedside . . . How much It’s not to early to think about true gold mine of a culture. could I give someone sometimes? purchasing your Hanuka (Dec. 8-15; As we see our Jewish population But I was there . . . That’s what you Kislev 24-Tevet 2) gifts from the Sis- graying at a disproportionate rate to give them. terhood Gift Shop at BEKI. births, what can we do within our 1) How does Dr. Groopman extend New merchandise arrived in Oc- sisterhood and synagogue to reflect the mitzvot of piquah nefesh (saving tober for your gift choices -- games Heschel’s stance. a life) and biqur holim (visiting the What is Heschel’s theological point sick) to one that shows derekh eretz, and small and large menorot, jewelry about the treatment of the elderly? especially in situations when his job and many Hanuka motif items for the As part of Sisterhood Tikun Olam appears done? home. we hope that you will join us in help- 2) What kind of programs would Store hours are Sunday 11:15- ing reach our elderly who are shut in, help our membership support those 12:15, Wednesday 5:30-6:15 or by or are in need in many ways. who are ill or their families, yet still appointment with Peggy in the BEKI respect their privacy and / or personal office (203) 389-2108, Mimi (203) The Medicine of Friendship: Dr. Jerome Groopman wishes? 397-3851 or Adele (203) 389-9599. For suggestions and to volunteer to Dr. Groopman describes his profes- help please contact Mimi Glenn (203) Senior Moments: Abraham sional ethos as: A medicine of friend- 397-3851. Joshua Heschel 1907-72 ship . . . one that is embodied in the A test of a people is how it behaves prayer for healing (tefilat mi sheberakh Sisterhood Presents toward the elderly. It is easy to love l’refuah) and includes the imperative Joanne Rudof, Senior Archivist at children. Even tyrants and dictators to the doctors that when he or she no the Fortunoff Video Archives at Yale make a point of being fond of chil- longer has the drug to give or surgery University, Vision and Voices, Writers dren. But the affection and care for the to perform, that they are still there by at Work. Sunday Nov. 11 at 2 p.m.

National “Have a Minyan at Home” Day The synagogue office closes at 1 p.m. on Wednesday Beth El-Keser Israel will join with other shuls in observ- Nov. 21 and is closed on Thursday and Friday Nov. 22-23. ing “National Have a Minyan at Home” day on Thursday Fall Back evening Nov. 22. In marking this occasion, no afternoon On Sunday morning Nov. 4 the United States resumes and evening service will be held at the shul so that par- Standard Time. So at 01:59:59.9 Sunday, turn your clock ticipants may have services in their own homes. For this back to 01:00.00.0 and enjoy the extra hour. purpose, plenty of kippot are available in your suit pockets or auto glove compartments where you have been stuffing Important Tax Information them. Years ago, when this program was initiated, skeptics Taxpayers are reminded that synagogue dues, paid predicted it would be a real turkey and would be axed, but pledges and contributions are tax-deductible to the full the response has been positive, for which we offer thanks- extent of the law. BEKI has been determined to be a giving. 501(c)3 organization by the US Treasury. For many people Minha service can be recited after noon; the evening it is advantageous to pay dues, pledges and contributions service after 4:27 p.m. before the end of the tax year (for most people Dec. 31). It This is an ideal occasion to enjoy USY pumpkin and is also helpful to BEKI to receive your payment at an early apple pies (see notice this issue). date. Additional benefits may be realized by contributing Weekday morning services on Thursday Nov. 22 are on appreciated securities. Contributing appreciated assets can the Federal Holiday schedule, from 9 to 9:45 a.m. Friday obviate the need for complex and costly calculating capital Nov. 23 services 7 to 7:32 a.m. and 6 to 6:50 p.m. gains. Please consult your tax advisor for more information.

6 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org Torah for the Hungry Mind – Adult Studies

Shabbatot (Saturdays) stock, Isaiah few blocks from the synagogue), with Darshanim Cooper, Rabbi Rabbi Tilsen. Eric Silver and –noun, plural dar·sha·nim [Seph. Mondays Heb. dahr-shah-neem; Ashk. Heb. others, the Shab- Rashi Study Group: Shoftim bat Shalom Torah dahr-shaw-nim], dar·shans. Judaism. Each Monday morning from 7:45 to Study is a nurtur- a preacher or teacher of Aggada or 8:30 adults meet in the Library Chapel ing exploration Halakha in a synagogue. to read Rashi’s commentary on the of practice and Rabbi Tilsen has invited the follow- Tanakh (Hebrew ing speakers to serve as guest Dar- theory presented Alan Lovins Bible). The RSG in a participatory, shanim: is studying the non-threatening David Kuper- Book of Shoftim and multi-gen- stock will serve (Judges). Char- erational setting. as darshan on acters in the Many members Shabbat morn- narrative include who take ad- ing 3 November the Prophet vantage of this 2012, parashat Devora, Baraq, unique offering VaYera Yiftah, Mrs. Jon-Jay Tilsen feel a deeper Yoni Hirsh- Manoah, and Samson and Delila. It is David Kuperstock sense of awe field, bar mitzva, Nadav Sela possible to join the study group for a born of increased will serve as darshan on Shabbat single meeting or to begin at any time. understanding morning Nov. 10, parashat Hayei Sara. Knowledge of Hebrew is not neces- and apprecia- Jonathan Freiman will serve as sary. Rashi purported to explain the tion of the Torah darshan on Shabbat morning Nov. 17, peshat of the text, i.e., the meaning reading, Haftara parashat Toldot. in its historical, literary and linguistic (Prophetic read- Sophia Bruce, bat mitzva, will serve context. Visitors and new participants ing) and liturgy. as darshanit on Shabbat morning Dec. are welcome. Hebrew and English The program 1, parashat VaYishlah. texts are available. The Rashi Study often focuses Michael Kligfeld will serve as Group meets immediately following on the scriptural Eric Silver darshan on Shabbat morning Dec. 8, the 7 a.m. shaharit service. readings, but also addresses the prayer parashat VaYeshev. With Jon-Jay Tilsen. liturgy and other topics related to the Shabbat Shalom Tuesdays Torah Study liturgical calendar, scriptural readings or current issues of concern. Hebrew The Shabbat Shalom Torah Study Everyone is welcome to partici- New sections may open this season. meets every other Saturday morning at pate regardless of religious status or To register for the next session, con- 10:45 in the office and is an ideal set- background. It is suitable for mature, tact Peggy at [email protected]. ting for veteran and novice shul-goers or at least well-behaved, youth along alike to explore the scripture readings Wednesdays with adults. and liturgy of the Hebrew Word of the Week day in a sup- Sundays The Wednesday morning service portive setting. Keeping Kosher at Home (shaharit) features a 120-second “He- Expertly led by A 65-minute practical introduction brew word of the Week” to promote Steven Fraade, to home kashrut observance. How to the learning of Hebrew. The Hebrew with Rabbi Alan acquire kosher foods, maintain kosher language is highly structured. Most Lovins, Rabbi utensils, and accommodate guests with words are based on three-letter roots, Murray Levine, conflicting practices. Sunday Nov. 4, and are made with a limited set of Nadav Sela, 9:45 to 10:50 a.m., at the Residence David Kuper- Steven Fraade of Libby & Mark Abraham (just a Continued on Page 8

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 7 Torah for the Hungry Mind – Adult Studies

Adult Studies mornings in the Rosenkrantz Family for others, it is a continuation of a long Continued from Page 7 Library. For more information, call journey. The Group focuses on the Rabbi Murray Levine at (203) 397- issues raised in the Talmud, with less verb or noun forms. By learning a few 2513. attention to the technical aspects of the dozen roots and a small set of word- text. Knowledge of Hebrew or Ara- Thursdays forms, it is possible to roughly trans- Mini Morning maic is helpful but not required. late Hebrew words isolated from any Learning Service The Talmud, based on an oral text, context, something less often possible has no beginning or end. One can The Thursday morning services in English. The Word of the Week begin study at any point; now is the are supplemented with commentary often relates to the weekly scriptural best time. and teaching relating to the history, readings, enhancing personal study The Sanhedrin Talmud Study Group themes, choreography and language and public Torah discussion. meets in BEKI’s Rosenkrantz Family of the daily morning service. Shaharit Library. It will not meet on Thanksgiv- Rabbis’ Study Group service is from 8:15 to 9:15 on Thurs- ing (Nov. 22) nor on Dec. 21 and 28 Wednesdays with Murray is a week- days; on other weekdays, the service (winter recess). ly study group exclusively for rabbis, begins at 7 a.m. For information, contact Isaiah facilitated by Rabbi Murray Levine. Sanhedrin Talmud Study Cooper at his law officeicooper@ The Wednesday The Sanhe- cooperlaw.net . study group af- drin Talmud fords local rabbis Study Group Hebrew: Modern and an opportunity meets weekly Prayerbook Hebrew to pursue their on Thursdays Every Day own talmud torah during the lunch Divrei Torah on the Web (Torah study) in a hour (12:30 to A collection of Divrei Torah (Torah “safe” setting and 1:30). The Group commentaries) and essays by members with opportuni- Murray Levine has met weekly and Rabbi Tilsen is posted on BEKI’s ties to learn from Isaiah Cooper since 1999. For website under “Adult Studies” and each other’s experience and insight. some participants, this is their first “Meet Rabbi Tilsen.” The study group meets Wednesday direct experience with Talmud text;

Take Care of Your Cemetery Need Reserve Your Date Great Time To Invest in Real Estate Bar- and bat-mitzva celebrants for 2013 to 2017 who do The time to take care of your cemetery need is before not have a written confirmation of a date reservation may there is a need. Now is the perfect time to select your wish to reserve a date by contacting Peggy at office@beki. sites...while there is a good selection. BEKI cemeteries are org 203.389-2108 x14. Dates are available on a first-come located in Hamden and West Haven, within minutes of the basis to members. Your early reservation maximizes your synagogue and with easy access to main thoroughfares. chance to reserve your choice of dates. Member discounts are available. Memorial Plaques Available We can help you select a site and discuss payment terms. The Memorial plaques displayed at BEKI serve as a Contact the BEKI Cemetery Association office today at reminder and memorial to departed loved ones. Plaques are (203) 389-2108 x57 or [email protected] and arrange a available for $360 by calling Peggy at 203.389-2108 x14. meeting with a Cemetery Association officer. For directions Prepayment reserves a space and a plaque. to the cemeteries see our website at www.beki.org under “Directions.”

8 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org GC 3_5x2 ad 8/29/06 8:34 AM Page 1

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 9 COUNTRY L D L A A Y H Hamden Hall S

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D O

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100 L H YEARS Educating students in PreSchool through Grade 12. FOUNDED 1912 We celebrated National Mix It Up Day in October to foster greater respect and understanding among our students. www.hamdenhall.org 203.752.2610 1108 Whitney Ave., Hamden, CT 0 6517

Child and Adolescent Health Care, L.L.C.

A. Joseph Avni-Singer. M.D., FAAP 303 Wh i t n e y Av e n u e Ne w Ha v e n , CT 06511 Shari Storeygard, M.D., FAAP (203) 776-1243 Fa x (203) 785-1247 Carol Dorfman, M.D., FAAP 1 Br a d l e y Ro a d , Su i t e 102 Shannon Martinello, M.D., FAAP Wo o d b r i d g e , CT 06525 (203) 397-1243 Fa x (203) 397-1241

Buying Groceries? Use gift cards for Peapod, Stop & Shop, Shop Rite and Westville Kosher Market, available at face value – no additional cost to you – and BEKI receives a significant commission. Available from Gloria Cohen and from Office.

10 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org Contributions

Rabbi’s Tzedaqa Fund Synagogue Fund (minimum Mike Moscowitz Marvin Kabakoff • Trish Loving & Alan Lovins $10) to support synagogue • In memory of Ellen Slopak • In memory of Jacob Sokoloff by wishing mazal tov to Yonatan operations Schwartz by David Schwartz Shirley Goldstein Frumento Starr-Hirshfield on his bar mitzva • In memory of Mary Edelkind by • In memory of Herman Goldstein • Helene & Edward Vanderhoef The David & Lillian Levine Tamar Edelkind by Shirley Goldstein Frumento in memory of their Schnitman Endowment for People with • In memory of Samuel Glaser by • In memory of her sister Myra forebears Special Needs Howard Glaser Brunswick by Barbara Cushen • Herbert & Margot Stern in • In memory of his brother J. Paul • In memory of John “Jack” • In memory of Sylvia Feldman by appreciation of the Congregation Levine by Richard & Nancy Gerken by Ann & Donald Green Lois K. Feldman Levine • Trish Loving & Alan Lovins with • In memory of Ruth Maltin by • In memory of Sheila Gardner by condolences to Alan & Rachel Ted Maltin Rose & Harold Wexler Gerber Family on the passing of High Holiday Donation • In memory of Gertrude Maltin by • In memory of Helene Pepper by Irwin Gerber • In honor of Aliyah Bixby-Driesen Ted Maltin Anna Pepper • Darcy McGraw & Bruce Altman by George & Sue Driesen • In memory of Jacob Cohen by • In memory of Moe Ziegler by in sympathy to Nathan & Judi • Rabbi Andrew Klein Scholarship Ted Maltin Pearle Schaperow Janette at the passing of Jack Fund Janette • In memory of Esther Kabakoff by • Rabbi Mindy A. Portnoy • Harriet Friedman & Charlie Bruce and family in sympathy • Frankel-Mattler Memorial Fund to Alan & Rachel Gerber and • In memory of her husband family on the passing of Irwin Edward Mattler by Shirley Gerber Mattler • Harriet Friedman & Charlie Bruce and family in sympathy to Yahrzeit Fund ($5 minimum) Barbara Cushen at the passing of to support synagogue Rose Brunswick operations • Lou & Lisa Petrillo in sympathy • In memory of Martha Miller to Barbara Cushen at the passing Schwartz by Bobbie & Harold of Rose Brunswick Miller • Adele Altschuler wishing mazal • In memory of Barnett Popkin by th tov to Mikki Ratner on her 90 Ben & Lynne Marks birthday • In memory of Ruth Magid Jacobs by Jane Bassett Qiddush Sponsors (minimum $280) • In memory of Beth Margolis by Marilyn Margolis • Gloria Cohen • In memory of Sarah Greenberg • Herb & Hannah Winer by Betty Swinkin • Carole & Paul Bass • In memory of Irving Kaufman by • Robert & Marcia Jacoby Florence Kaufman • The Stoll Family • In memory of Abraham R. Goldman by Judy & Martin • Alan Rosner Shore • Alan Lovins & Trish Loving • In memory of Evelyn & Henry Cohen by Clifford & Donna Chai Fund (minimum $18) to Cohen support synagogue operations • In memory of Harriet & David • To Carole & Paul Bass and Kroop by Donna & Clifford family with sympathy on the Cohen passing of Raymond Smith by • In memory of Larry Kroop by Gloria Cohen Donna & Clifford Cohen • To Rob Forbes & Joanne Foodim • In memory of his father Samuel and family with sympathy on the Singer by Joe & Ravit Avni- passing of H.A. Crosby Forbes Singer by Gloria Cohen • In memory of Rena Miller by • To Evelyn R. Benson in her Howard Miller honor by Rebecca J. Benson & Remembering storms past Arthur P. Kreiger • In memory of Michael Harold Rudof by Stephen & Joanne In a photograph from the BEKI archives, a large tree leans • To Miriam Benson & Jon-Jay Rudof precariously in BEKI’s western courtyard in the aftermath of a Tilsen in their honor by Rebecca J. Benson & Arthur P. Kreiger • In memory of Jay Moscowitz by 20th century storm..

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 11 News

Tree Of Life Leaves beki.org or call (203) 389-2108 x10 with your requested We have a beautiful Tree of Life in our synagogue. dates, or to be added or dropped from the rotation schedule. The fruit from our Tree of Life can serve as a great way For participation and leadership of Children’s Programs, to contribute to the life and strength of our synagogue. contact Miriam Benson at [email protected] (203) 389- Inscribing a leaf on our magnificent tree is a thoughtful and 6137. If you would like to learn to lead services or to read meaningful way to commemorate a joyous event. Inscribe a Torah, contact Jon-Jay. leaf to celebrate an event like a Bar or Bat Mitzva and you Friday night ushering (from 5:45 to 7) was recently orga- will have a lasting memory of the great day. Inscribe a leaf nized. This includes greeting members, helping guests find to celebrate a milestone birthday. Inscribe a leaf because the correct book and otherwise guiding visitors, and serving someone is near and dear to you. Inscribe a leaf to honor wine or grape juice. If you would like to serve in this way your mother, father, sister or brother. Inscribe a leaf for an at least one time in the next six months, contact Jon-Jay at anniversary. Inscribe a leaf for your good health. Do it now [email protected] or 203.389.2108 x10. and enjoy looking at your special leaf. Got Junk? We do Mikki Ratner can assist you with the wording (203) 387- Please check the BEKI coatroom for your articles and 7882 [email protected]. claim them before Thanksgiving, when remaining un- Make It a Ritual claimed and unidentified items will donated or discarded. Want to Lead Services, Read Haftara, Greet Members & Got Milk? Guests? Please keep beverages and food from qiddush and meals The calendar is now open to request specific dates to at BEKI in the social hall, and out of the lobby and other lead Shabbat and Festival services, recite haftara, and serve areas. Kindly remind those who might be unaware of this as Friday Night or Shabbat morning greeter from January guideline. to June 2013. Please send email to Jon-Jay at jjtilsen@

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12 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org A Message from Rabbi Tilsen

Have a Nice Day . . . Or Not

Should we pray for the peace of others? pendence – these are the features of the Jewish tradition Our siddur (prayer book) presents several variations of which make me thank my stars that I belong to it” (1934, petitions and praises, such as in the amida and qaddish, that The World as I See it). Perhaps among ourselves we have ask the Heavens for peace for Israel and, in some iterations, enough “justice” or judicial correctness or righteousness peace for all humanity. These variations as represented but not enough “peace.” Jewish civilization has gone far in in Siddur Sim Shalom (the Masorti-Conservative prayer creating a system of justice, but, arguably, has not yet quite book we use at BEKI) constitute the traditional Ashkenazic as successfully developed ways for Jews to get along nicely liturgy as it has evolved over the centuries. with each other. We pray for what we need, and pray most When we pray for peace (shalom) for ourselves, why not for what we need most. always wish the same for others? Why the inconsistency? Nelson Mandela and the ANC created (for a while) a There are indeed perspectives that suggest we should not vibrant multi-racial society by placing the values of truth pray for “shalom” for the whole world. and peace above justice implemented by courts. Maybe our “Shalom” is just one value among many. It is not the dear brothers in Syria also need peace, and our cousins in same as the broader word “tov” or “goodness,” but rather Somalia, too. But we might say that the North Koreans or has specific meanings. Sometimesshalom as a value is in Saudis or Iranians don’t need peace, they need a little more conflict with or opposition to other values. There may be conflict, of the “Arab Spring” or “American Revolution” situations where peace and justice, peace and law, even variety. Wishing “peace” on others may not be a blessing peace and truth are in conflict. Albert Einstein famously for them, but rather a curse. We may sincerely wish for said, “The pursuit of knowledge for its own sake, an almost fanatical love of justice, and the desire for personal inde- Continued on Page 14

Visit us at www.beki.org BEKI Bulletin November 2012 13 A Message from Rabbi Tilsen

then they should get off their lazy tucheses and go ask God Peace themselves; why should we have to do it for them? Continued from Page 13 All of this depends on precisely what we have in mind their well-being, but it may be that “shalom” is not what when we pray for “shalom,” and on how we look at the they need right now. Or we may simply not want to pray for world. But just because a Jew at prayer knows his or her “shalom” for the competing factions within Al-Qaida. own intent does not mean that the invocation in public wor- Praying for others may be “spiritual imperialism.” When ship will be understood by others in that way. we pray for “shalom” for all human beings, we may have On the other hand, there are good reasons to pray for the best intentions. But others might interpret it otherwise. peace for all of humanity, and I believe it superfluous to When Mormons posthumously “baptize” the souls of Jews, outline this case for our readers. Inasmuch as the prayer some in our community object, even though we don’t for peace for “all humanity” has long been included in our believe the baptism is effective, and even though we may public worship, it is clear that our ancestors and sages – at not believe in “eternal souls.” The Mormons baptize out least some of them – of the goodness of their hearts. In their minds they affirmed this are doing the most beneficial thing one can approach. possibly do for another person – provid- Remark- ing entry to the Kingdom of Heaven ably, the – and doing so without discrimi- actual state of nation or prejudice. If they did our liturgy – it for everyone except Jews which some- undoubtedly our leaders times includes would complain of “all humanity” anti-Semitism. Yet in our prayers for there is something peace and some- about the act that times states only is offensive, a “upon us and all Is- sort of spiritual rael” – might be worse imperialism. For than either alternative, whatever rea- that is, either always sons, not every- including or always omitting one welcomes “all humanity.” In the instances our prayers for where “all” are included in the prayer them, even when for peace, we are subject to all of the negatives – offered with the best intentions. Not everyone views prayer a detrimental wish, spiritual imperialism, defocusing. And the way we do, and we should be respectful of the religious when we omit “all humanity” we are open to charges of – integrity and autonomy of others. and perhaps being – self-centered, parochial and selfish, in Praying for the “shalom” of others de-focuses our at- a way that could offend others, thereby bringing the oppo- tention to our own needs. The world is big and has many site of our wish upon ourselves. needs, but the central mission of the Jewish People is to Nevertheless, long ago those holding these opposing build a strong, smart, just, nurturing and peaceful Jewish viewpoints decided to compromise and to reconcile variant civilization based on Torah and the wisdom of our sages versions of the liturgy to forge a common text that some- (and our own insight) that can serve as a model for others times is universalist and sometimes particularistic in the to emulate if they wish. In the same way, we have to take prayer for shalom. And that variation in liturgy itself stands care of ourselves, our own household, our own synagogue, as a wonderful symbol and reminder and reification of the and our own local community, before we can effectively value of compromise and of shalom among our people – and credibly transform the world. It is wrong to think we and so may it be for all humanity. can help others if we can’t even help ourselves. — Jon-Jay Tilsen If other people want to ask God to grant them peace,

14 BEKI Bulletin November 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org November 2012 16 Heshvan 5773 - 16 Kislev 5773 Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 1 2 3 12:30pm Talmud Study 5:28pm Candle Lighting Vayera Group Miller Baby Naming Darshan: David Kuperstock 10:45am Children's Programs 10:45am Shabbat Shalom Torah Study Qiddush: Shragis&Miller Shabbat Shmooze: Jewish Magicians w/CJ May 5:30pm Minha-Maariv

16 Heshvan 17 Heshvan 18 Heshvan 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 EST Begins 7:45am Rashi Study Group 8:30am Rabbi's Study 12:30pm Talmud Study Yoni Hirshfield Bat Mitzva Haye Sarah 9:00am Religious School USY Pie Order Deadline Group Group 4:20pm Candle Lighting Yoni Hirshfield Bar Mitzva 9:45am "Keeping Kosher at 4:00pm Religious School 10:45am Children's Home" Workshop (off-site) 5:00pm Benei Mitzva Programs 7:30pm USY @Toad's Program Qiddush: Starr/Hirshfield Place for Matisyahu 1:00pm Kadima Meeting concert 4:30pm Minha-Maariv

19 Heshvan 20 Heshvan 21 Heshvan 22 Heshvan 23 Heshvan 24 Heshvan 25 Heshvan 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 9:00am Religious School Office Closed/Veteran's 8:30am Rabbi's Study Rosh Hodesh 4:13pm Candle Lighting Toledot 2:00pm Sisterhood- Day Group Numbers Darshan: Jonathan Hadassah Meeting 7:00am Shaharit 4:00pm Religious School 8:15am BEKI Elders Freidman USY Pie Baking 7:45am Rashi Study Group 5:00pm Benei Mitzva Learning Program 10:45am Children's 7:30pm Executive Board Program 12:30pm Talmud Study Programs Meeting (off-site) Group 10:45am Shabbat Shalom 7:30pm USY Meeting Torah Study Qiddush: Wynschenk/Nargi- Toth 1:00pm Kadima Meeting 4:15pm Minha-Maariv

26 Heshvan 27 Heshvan 28 Heshvan 29 Heshvan 1 Kislev 2 Kislev 3 Kislev 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 9:00am Religious 7:45am Rashi Study Group 5:30-7:00pm USY Pie Pick- 8:30am Rabbi's Study Office Closed/Thanksgiving Office Closed Vayetze School/Parent-Teacher 7:30pm USY Meeting up Group 9:00am Shaharit 4:09 Candle Lighting 10:45am Children's Conference No Religious School (No pm service) Programs No Benei Mitzva Program Qiddush Marx/Schonberger 4:10pm Minha-Maariv

4 Kislev 5 Kislev 6 Kislev 7 Kislev 8 Kislev 9 Kislev 10 Kislev 25 26 27 28 29 30 No Religious School 7:45am Rashi Study Group 8:30am Rabbi's Study 8:15am BEKI Rlders Sophia Bruce Bat Mitzva 7:30pm General Board Group Learning Program 4:06pm Candle Lighting Meeting 4:00pm Religious School 12:30pm Talmud Study 7:30pm USY Meeting 5:00pm Benei Mitzva Group Program

11 Kislev 12 Kislev 13 Kislev 14 Kislev 15 Kislev 16 Kislev BEKI Events Service Times Sundays Mondays Tuesdays Wednesdays Thursdays Fridays Saturdays 9 a.m. Shaharit 7 a.m. Shaharit 7 a.m. Shaharit 7 a.m. Shaharit 8:15 a.m. Shaharit 7 a.m. Shaharit 9:15 a.m. Shaharit 5:45 p.m. Minha-Maariv 5:45 p.m. Minha-Maariv 5:45 p.m. Minha-Maariv 5:45 p.m. Minha-Maariv 5:45 p.m. Minha-Maariv 6 p.m. Minha-Maariv 5:45 p.m. Minha DATED MATERIAL Non-Profit Organization U.S. Postage P A I D Permit #131 85 Harrison Street New Haven, CT New Haven, CT 06515

Veterans’ Day Observance On Sunday Nov. 11, Veterans’ Day (USA), daily services will be held at the usual Sunday time, 9 a.m. On Monday Nov. 12 (a day off for some employees) the service is at its usual Monday time, 7 to 7:45 a.m. Join us in worship on this day when we honor veterans and the highest ideals of our nation.

Vote On Tuesday Nov. 6, attend services 7 to 7:33 a.m. at BEKI, then go vote for the candidates of your choice. The Late Lou Hodes on Veterans’ Day

BEKI Bulletin May 2012 Visit us at www.beki.org