26th Edition December 25, 2020

THE REITZ STUFF

Our 2020 Family Christmas Newsletter A Little Fresh Air Wishing You an Impractical Holiday! BY SAL, JOE, MURR AND Q Impractical News Services

LITITZ, Pa. - Since 2020 played out like one giant, never-ending sketch on , it made perfect sense why the Reitz family invited us to write their Christmas newsletter. Besides, there isn’t much of a market these days for comedians who accost people on the street and do very non- social distancing things to them, so we eagerly accepted their offer. Dylan and Hannah at LVC - 2020

So with our ninnies on the glass, let’s soccer season, the spring orchestra to last about two, maybe three weeks, look back at the herpderp year that concert, and getting out to ride on right? With toilet paper and Lysol was 2020, “like a bawssss!” trails on his brand new Specialized becoming the Cabbage Patch Kids of bicycle — a Christmas gift from the 2020, shopping became an adventure Everything’s Just Rosie Grandmas and Grandpas and the in hunting for things that a few weeks The year began like any other. Hannah Parents. Yes indeed, life was good for ago were just always there. The most started her second semester as a this idyllic small-town family of four. important thing was staying healthy freshman at Lebanon Valley College, What could possibly go wrong? (which they have done, thankfully!) where she had just earned Dean’s List Out of TP Not Safe for Work honors and was on her way to a repeat performance. Dylan was killing Well like all of us, things got a little Shortly after Rick celebrated his 7th it in 7th grade with straight A’s, and weird in March for the Reitz clan, but year working as an editor at WSP in was getting ready for the spring that’s OK, because it was only going early March, he began to work from Continued on Page 2

Biking the York Heritage Trail A Family Winter Hike at Middle Creek Back to College

2020 Reitz Family Newsletter home.ptd.net/~buzznbea 1 26th Edition December 25, 2020

Dylan is on the right track!

Giblets creator Dylan with Simon, Bryan and Oscar Hannah, The Grinch and Dylan his hastily cobbled together work area But there was a small silver lining to advantage of his quaran-time and in the basement. There have been the otherwise dismal situation: As began creating his own YouTube web moments when it looked like he’d Dylan was eager to try out his new series, a stick-mation show called return to the office, but at press time bike, no weekend soccer games freed “Giblets.” With a little help from his he was still working from the Lititz up the schedule to hit the trails with assistant, Dad, he created 15 home office. Thankfully, he has been Dad. And boy, did they ever! From episodes … his most recent is a able to continue working full time and April through September, they went holiday episode set to premiere on without disruption! on a 14-20 mile ride every weekend. Christmas week. Our favorite, of Lisa has been very Thankfully the weather course, is “Impractical Giblets,” a busy all year always cooperated. They parody of our hit show! (Visit keeping the family hit every bike trail in the www.gibletsofficial.com to see the organized and safe. region multiple times, videos, view “merch” and more!) Without her tireless encountering turtles, frogs, efforts to maintain fanatic chipmunks, The Bogey Man everyone’s erratic caterpillars — and one Dylan was able to play soccer in the schedules in the time, a trail filled with fall (with Dad as coach again). It was pandemic, they’d all Another Weekend Ride with Dad thousands of annoying, great to get back on the field, and be lost … or worse. suicidal grasshoppers. Lititz Steel had a successful season, No Child Left Behind Like a Boss finishing with 3 wins, 2 losses and 1 tie. (Dylan had 3 goals and 3 assists.) Hannah was urgently moved out of Sadly, a family vacation was not in the Though she missed many of her usual her dorm at LVC and continued her cards this year, and Hannah decided activities, Hannah has been able to studies from home, as did Dylan for to pass on her job at Wendy’s for the hang out with her friends at the park the remainder of the school year. summer (but she did (masks and social distancing, Fortunately, Hannah was able to return for winter break!) of course!) She also dressed return to campus in the fall — albeit They did manage to for Halloween as Legion three weeks late due to a staggered find ways to keep busy Frank. (You’ll have to ask her start, and coming home two weeks throughout the year, for more about who that is. earlier than expected — but for about though. Dylan Looks scary, though!) a month and a half, college life was continued making somewhat normal. Dylan was given movies, starting with Gee, looks like the Reitz family the option to return to in-class school another Monkees video was still kind of busy after all! in the fall, and there was no wavering in February to the song Us Jokers join them in wishing … “Just tell me what I have to do to “Our Own World,” your family a prank-free 2021, Hannah “masks up” as go back to school, and I’ll do it.” which generated a lot and we hope that you have a Legion Frank Fortunately, both kids are fine with of views. Dylan and … “Murray” Christmas and a wearing masks, especially when they Dad also had a video Happy “Q” Year! get to display some creative designs! call with Michael Nesmith in June, The Reitz Stuff during which Nez was complimentary 2020 Newsletter Dog Days of Bummer of Dylan and his animation and even telling him if he was ever going to sell Rick Reitz “” Dylan’s spring soccer season was his ideas, to contact him first. What a Lisa Reitz “” cancelled due to the pandemic, nice offer, though Dylan told him he Hannah Reitz “Sal Vulcano” making this the first season since 2006 isn’t selling! In May, Dylan took Dylan Reitz “” that a Reitz kid was not playing soccer. 2020 Reitz Family Newsletter home.ptd.net/~buzznbea 2