BUILD the HOUSE on the ROCK: JPII's Spiritual Exercises For
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BUILD THE HOUSE ON THE ROCK: Catholic Psychotherapy Association JPII’s Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples May 1, 2020 “Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock; and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been Learning Objectives founded on the rock.” (Matthew 7:24-25, RSVCE) As a result of this presentation, each participant will be able to: 1. Discuss factors related to rebuilding the foundations of personal formation and marriage preparation within contemporary culture. 2. Describe practical elements of a promising, psychologically- relevant, pastoral approach to personal formation and marriage Build the House preparation consisting of spiritual exercises within a community milieu of presence and accompaniment. on the Rock 3. List three specific clinical applications within premarital assessment, premarital counseling, and community support for Psychological and Spiritual Foundations of Marriage Preparation building a solid foundation of personal formation and marriage Within John Paul II’s Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples preparation. Photo: © Keith A. HoudePhoto: © Keith Fr. Zachary Swantek, S.T.L. & Keith A. Houde, Ph.D. Marriage Preparation: Accompaniment Marriage Preparation: Necessary • “Like every other living reality, the family too is called • “More than ever necessary in our times is preparation upon to develop and grow. After the preparation of of young people for marriage and family life.” engagement and the sacramental celebration of • “Experience teaches that young people who have been marriage, the couple begin their daily journey towards well prepared for family life generally succeed better the progressive actuation of the values and duties of than others.” marriage itself.” John Paul II (1981), Familiaris consortio, n. 66 • “The Church’s pastoral action must be progressive, also in the sense that it must follow the family, accompanying it step by step in the different stages of its formation and development.” John Paul II (1981), Familiaris consortio, n. 65 Marriage Preparation: Intensive Marriage Preparation: Stages • The Church must therefore promote better and more STAGE CATECHETICAL FORMATION intensive programs of marriage preparation, in order to Remote eliminate as far as possible the difficulties that many Children • Discover self endowed with rich/particular personality (strengths & weaknesses) married couples find themselves in, and even more in • Authentic interpersonal relationship values (self-control, regard for opposite sex) order to favor positively the establishing and maturing • Marriage as a true vocation and mission; possibility of priestly/religious vocation of successful marriages.” Proximate John Paul II (1981), Familiaris consortio, n. 66 Youth • Preparation for Christian marriage sacrament, right moral/spiritual dispositions • Marriage as interpersonal relationship of man and woman needing continual development; study of conjugal sexuality/responsible parenthood • Correct methods for education of children; requisites for well-ordered family life (work, financial resources, administration, housekeeping) • Family apostolate, fraternal solidarity, family groups/associations/movements Immediate Couple • Premarital enquiry, especially with shortcomings in Christian doctrine/practice • Deeper knowledge of mystery of Christ and the Church • Meaning of grace and responsibility of Christian marriage •Preparation for active/conscious participation in rites of marriage liturgy Fr. Zachary Swantek, S.T.L. Keith A. Houde, Ph.D. 1 BUILD THE HOUSE ON THE ROCK: Catholic Psychotherapy Association JPII’s Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples May 1, 2020 Marriage Preparation Photo: © Keith A. HoudePhoto: © Keith Supportive Community Środowisko Spiritual Exercises Photo: © Keith A. HoudePhoto: © Keith A. HoudePhoto: © Keith Build the House on the Rock: Build the House on the Rock Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples First Meditation: To Swear to the Truth Before God • The Religious Character of the Marriage Vows • Vows Pronounced Before God • The Ministers of Marriage and their Witnesses • To Implore the Grace of God for a Lifetime Second Meditation: Creative Love and Faithfulness to the End • Trust as the Fruit of Faithful Love • The Indissolubility of Marriage • Reciprocity and the Common Good of the Spouses Third Meditation: Conjugal Honor • The Ends of Marriage • Conjugal Life and Offspring • Spiritual and Physical Unity • Responsibility for the Marriage and for the Family • The Sacrament of Sacrificial Love Photo: © Keith A. HoudePhoto: © Keith Wojtyła, K. (1960, December 19-21). Build the house on the rock: December 19-21, 1960 Spiritual exercises for engaged couples (Z. Swantek, Trans.). Fr. Zachary Swantek, S.T.L. Keith A. Houde, Ph.D. 2 BUILD THE HOUSE ON THE ROCK: Catholic Psychotherapy Association JPII’s Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples May 1, 2020 Build the House on the Rock: Build the House on the Rock: Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples First Meditation: To Swear to the Truth Before God • The Religious Character of the Marriage Vows • Vows Pronounced Before God • The Ministers of Marriage and their Witnesses • To Implore the Grace of God for a Lifetime Original text: Budować dom na skale: rekolekcje dla narzeczonych, Wojtyła, K. (1960, December 19-21). Build the house on the rock: Instytut Dialogu Międzykulturowego im. Jana Pawła II, 2012. Spiritual exercises for engaged couples (Z. Swantek, Trans.). First Meditation: I: To Swear to the Truth Before God To Swear to the Truth Before God Introduction Introduction • “It is a very ancient custom in the Church that all who approach the holy sacraments should adequately prepare themselves • Necessity of catechesis first….It cannot be otherwise in the case of the sacrament of • All Sacraments require preparation, including the sacrament of Matrimony. Given that marriage is a sacrament, those who are Matrimony about to receive it must first prepare themselves. For this • Preparation for the sacrament of Matrimony reason, catechesis is necessary.” • Purpose of the present spiritual exercises is preparation to receive the sacrament of Matrimony on wedding day rather than the tasks related • “Furthermore, the sacrament of Matrimony is the introduction to to marriage as a state of life married life, it is the threshold of this life. If we cross this • Threshold of married life threshold well, then it is very likely that also the successive path • Sacrament of marriage as the threshold of marital life of marital life will unfold favorably.” • Needs of our time • To resist the particular trials to which the sacrament of marriage is subjected Wojtyła, K. (1960, December 19-21). Build the house on the rock: Spiritual exercises for engaged couples (Z. Swantek, Trans.). First Meditation: I: To Swear to the Truth Before God To Swear to the Truth Before God The Religious Character of the Marriage Vows The Religious Character of the Marriage Vows •“Sacramental Marriage Preparation….prepares us to make a vow.” • Preparing to make a Vow •“Sacramental marriage is also a contract, a religious one. This • Agreement, contract contract is stipulated between two people: a man and a woman. • Stipulated between two people: a man and a woman They must stipulate it after mature reflection, when they have • After mature reflection already completely decided to live together as spouses and to • Complete decision: live as spouses, form a family form a family.” • Social significance • “And so this decision of two people…possesses a social • Serves the existence of society significance because it serves the existence of this or that society.” • Sacramental Marriage • “What constitutes the specificity, the peculiarity of sacramental • Solemn contract of a religious character ecclesial marriage, is its religious character, and this religious character is visible above all in the vows.” Wojtyła, K. (1960, December 19-21). Build the house on the rock: Spiritual exercises for engaged couples (Z. Swantek, Trans.). Fr. Zachary Swantek, S.T.L. Keith A. Houde, Ph.D. 3 BUILD THE HOUSE ON THE ROCK: Catholic Psychotherapy Association JPII’s Spiritual Exercises for Engaged Couples May 1, 2020 I: To Swear to the Truth Before God “Law of the Gift” The Religious Character of the Marriage Vows • “During these three days we will reflect only on the words of • “From what man is as a person, that is, a being that these vows, the marriage formula. By analyzing it we will come possesses itself and governs itself, follows that he can to grasp the essence of sacramental marriage.” ‘give himself,’ he can make himself a gift for others, without thereby violating his ontic status.” “‘I N. take you N. as my wife (husband) • “The ‘law of the gift’ is inscribed, so to speak, in the and to you I vow love, faith, and honor in marriage, very being of the person.” and to not abandon you until death. Help me, O Lord God Almighty, (Wojtyla, 1974/2013, p. 281) One and Three, with all the Saints.’” Wojtyła, K. (1960, December 19-21). Build the house on the rock: Wojtyła, K. (1974/2013). On the meaning of spousal love (G. Ignatik, Trans.). In K. Wojtyła (2013), Spiritual exercises for engaged couples (Z. Swantek, Trans.). Love and responsibility (G. Ignatik, Trans.; pp. 273-294). Boston, MA: Pauline Books & Media. First Meditation: I: To Swear to the Truth Before God To Swear to the Truth