P lum Lines

The quarterly journal of The Wodehouse Society Vol. 17 N o 3 A u tu m n 1996

BETTING O N B E R ITE IS A SURE BETI

By Aunt Dahlia Travers

n October 15,1996, a small group gathered in New better in conveying the best and truest o f all that is P.G. York City to celebrate P.G. Wodehouse’s birthday Wodehouse. inO die best way possible: by attending a special, staged The background of BoB is this: In 1954, Bolton & reading of Betting on Bertie, die last musical Plum and Wodehouse wrote the play Come On> Jeeves (ref. Jasen, Guy Bolton wrote together. Four Plays). This evolved into the novel Ring for Jeeves As reported in the last Plum Lines, this show was to (aka The Return of Jeeves), best known as the one in which have been produced at the Hasty Pudding Theater in Bertie Wooster does not appear. Instead, Jeeves has been Boston, opening in mid-October. Alas for us Plummies, loaned to his friend, LordTowcester-Rowcester. (Many an unfortunate series o f events —I believe Jeeves would consider this to be the weakest of the Jeeves novels, have called it a concatenation o f circumstances—resulted lacking the Wooster narration as it does.) Years later, in Betting on Bertie’s wididrawal from the Hasty Pudding when approached by Frank Loesser to work on a new and its current search for a home in New York, without show with Robert Wright and George Forrest, Wode­ die benefit o f road tryouts. To diis end, the creators o f the house resurrected the story and reinserted Bertie, in the show decided to present two staged readings o f the show process changing the name o f the love interest from Jill to to theater owners and their ilk. But what is a Wodehouse Zenobia, and adding a new character, Pongo Pilkington. production without Wodehousians in die audience? And Aside from these changes, the plot line o f BoB is why not make the event a celebration o f Plum's birthday? identical to that o f R fJ. It is the summer o f 1928, and A call therefore went out, and those within earshot o f the Bertie, having been deprived of his income, is forced to call responded. (Side note to the envious: What can I say? quit Berkeley Mansions and retire to Wooster Abbey in Not everybody could be invited, al­ Southmoltonshire, England. There, though that was a consummation de­ P.G.Wooffloin’s he and his friend Pongo, in order to voutly to be wished.) scrape up some money, decide to So it was that eighteen privileged become bookies — but with disas­ Plummies from New York, Pennsylva­ trous results. They end up owing a nia, and Massachusetts gathered to­ huge sum to the manly Captain Big­ gether at the Martin Kaufman Theater ger, big- game hunter extraordinaire. in Manhattan to be brought back to a Captain Bigger shows u p at Wooster time when men were men and musicals Abbey witii his daughter, Zenobia, were musicals. And what a time it was! with whom Bertie falls instantly in Even Peter Schwed, Plum’s editor and love. Amazingly, his affections are perhaps sharpest critic of Wodehouse returned —and even more amaz­ adaptations, said diat the makers o f ingly, Jeeves approves o f the match! Betting on Bertie could not have done Meanwhile, a major American a familiar Wodchouse device. She falls in love with the Berne's and Jeeves’s feelings for each other. place, bur hesitares ro buv it because o f the dampness and As for the songs, the original Wodchouse Ivncs have frosi heaves. More to the point, she falls in love with been retained and set to music bv the afore-mentioned Captain Bigger, whom she had known some years back Messrs. Wright and Forrest. (To our jov, the composers and had been searching for ever since. The usual were present in the audience and afterwards spent some Wodehousian fun and games then ensue, including mis­ time conversing with us about their time spent working understandings and purloined jewels, until the inevitable with Plum.) With titles such as “Lament of a Gentlemen's happy ending is reached. But this one has a bittersweet Gentlemen,” “ Stiff Upper Lip,” “ On the Banks of the edge to it. In fact, the storv arrives at an unusual conclu­ Zambesi,” “ IVe Found H im !” , and “ Betting on Bertie,” sion for a Jeeves & Bertie storv, one which I hesitate to to name just a few, there were songs to please every reveal for fear o f spoiling the surprise for those who will palate. My own personal favorite was and always will be see the production in the future. I can say this, however: a lovely ballad that Jeeves sings about Bertie, called “ Only Plum's intention for this show was to bring the Bertie & If You Love .” This song says it all about the relationship Jeeves cycle to a close, and the result is something that between Bertie and Jeeves. Plum's lyrics arc, o f course, may jar some longtime readers. However, it all makes a brilliant, and in some cases may surprise those who didn't lot o f sense and, as presented by the company o f players know the old boy had it in him. (I refer specifically to the we saw, it is very touching in its presentation. song “ Rough, Rugged and Robust,” which has to be heard to be believed!) he cast included: Keene Curtis as Jeeves; Douglas Holmes as Bertie Wooster; Emily Skinner as Zenobia he production was directed by a very talented chap TBigger; Ben George as Captain Bigger; Judy Kaye as named Walter Willison. A Plummie to the core, Brenda Beaumont; Ken Barnett as Pongo Pilkington; TWalter was recruited by Messrs. Wright and Forrest to Diane J. Findlay as Lady Monica “Moke51 Carmoyle; Jack bring Betting on Bertie to the stage, and oh! what a Eddleman as Lord Roderick “Rory” Carmoyle; Sam yeoman’s job he has done! Walter's attention to detail has Rcni as Police Constable Briggs, and Steve Asciolla as the bordered on the near-fanatical. H e was and is deter­ Radio Announcer. Each and every one was a delight, and mined to please the most devout Wodehousian, and his captured their characters dead-on. If I were to quibble, I determination has reaped magnificent results. But don't would pick on a certain inconsistency in the pronuncia­ just take Auntie’s word for it. Lady Bassett backed me up tion of the name “Wooster,55 and Captain Bigger was on this when she wrote to PGW-Net: occasionally hard to understand. But as played by Ben ‘Betting on Bertie is an Absolutely Wizard Show.. .The George, he was howlingly funny, especially in his scenes cast is nothing short o f magnificent, each, all, and even' with Brenda Beaumont, played by Judy Kaye. Ms. Kaye one... You’d have been proud of us Plummies who is a Tony award winner, and it is easy to see why. She had attended; with no effort at all, we treated the theatre flown in only the day before, learned her part in nine owners to the sight and sound of a delighted audience, hours, and was belting out the numbers as if she had been guffawing, applauding, and weeping with joy...” singing diem all her life. She also provided some o f the I have no doubt that Plum would have loved this show funniest moments in the play, not to mention a couple of and approved of it, beginning to end. The book by show-stopping numbers. (I understand the plaster is still Wodehouse and Guy Bolton was adapted by Douglas falling from the ceiling of the Kaufman Theater.) All Holmes and Walter Willison. They worked very hard to Plummies present agreed that she was nodiing short of retain the essence of the story’s time period, yet still make magnificent. it current and palatable for modern audiences. The good As for Bertie & Jeeves, I think die purists among us news is that they have succeeded admirably! Plummies would find them most satisfactory. Keene Curtis, while and lay audiences alike can find much to applaud and perhaps displaying more emotion than Jeeves himself laugh at in this production—and it’s a dead cert diat more would, was quite good and played well off Bertie, who of the as-yet unitiated will be drawn to Wodehouse was perfectly personified by Douglas Holmes. Both because of it. these actors face an extremely difficult task when it comes to pleasing the die-hard Plummies in die audience—who So there you have it. Send your prayers in the direction among us, after all, does not have a personal vision of of New York, so that Betting on Bertie may find the home how Jeeves and Bertie should look and act? For myself, it deserves and all Plummies may have the good fortune diey pulled it off beautifully, and the ending scene was of being treated to a real and wonderful and original especially effective, as it did more than anything else to Wodehouse musical! convey the affection and respect and, yes, love inherent in

2 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 "$HE CHEESED THE RABBIT THEME" —Right Ho, Jeeves

By William A. Carpenter

have discovered an objective way to measure exacdy the Dorothy L. Sayers, in Busmanys Honeymoon, just scores “greatness” o f any particular author or literary work: The with this interesting description o f Lord Peter. WelshI Rabbit Index (WRI). Merely count the number of times any particular author or book mentions Welsh rabbits “ Pocket full o’ bank notes and a nose like a cheese-faced rabbit-” (or rarebits), multiply by i.o and, voila!, you have that author’s or book’s WRI. Not to be forgotten, o f course, is the great Franklin W. A few examples will suffice to demonstrate the unexpect­ Dixon. Just as you would expect from this master o f the edly close relationship between great literature and Welsh modern realistic novel, he does very well on the WRI, as in rabbits. First, I should perhaps say a few words about the this example from the Hardy boys’ first case, The Tower history ofWelsh rabbits. Originally cheese toasted on a long Treaure: fork over a fire, it has come to refer to any dish that features melted cheese, often cooked with beer, served on toast. Suddenly there was a loud wail from Chet. “M y Welsh rabbit! It’s been standing so long it will be mined!” Shakespeare certainly should appear on any list of great English writers and he has a perfecdy acceptable WRI with references to toasted cheese in two plays. Surely no one will be surprised to discover that the world’s greatest author, as measured by the W RI, is none “Nay, John, it will be stinking law; for his breath stinks with other than P. G. Wodehouse. Consider his masterful use of eating toasted cheese.” Welsh rabbits in such classic lines as these: Henry V I - Part II, Act IV, vii I had a kind o f feeling that I was about as popular with him as a cold Welsh rabbit. “Peace, peace; this piece o f toasted cheese will do ct.” “ Jeeves and the Chump Cyril” King Lear, Act IV, vi

For some moments after the line had gone dead, he sat motion­ Robert Louis Stevenson should not, of course, be left less, his soul seething within him like a Welsh rabbit at the height off such a list and he comes dirough in Treaure Island. of its fever. “Tangled Hearts” “ Well, many’s the long night I’ve dreamed o f cheese—toasted, mostly—and woke up again, and here I were.” Algy moved on, and Archibald, his soul bubbling within him like a Welsh rabbit at the height of its fever, sank into a chair and stared But what about modern authors? Patrick O’Brian, cur- sightlessly at the ceiling. rendy enjoying cult-like status among admirers of nautical “The Reverent Wooing of Archibald” historical novels, knows his toasted cheese, as this example from Post Captain shows. These quotes evince a careful knowledge of the actual methods for cooking a Welsh rabbit. Did Wodehouse like “I shall regale myself on toasted cheese.” to cook a little cheesy something late at night? This provides a fascinating glimpse into the previously unknown Culinary Will Cuppy, in his delightful self-help book, How To Be W odehouse. A Hermit, provides us with one of literature’s most power­ ful descriptions o f a Welsh rabbit in his provocative essay on As he sipped his sarsaparilla, his soul seemed to heave and bubblelike a Welsh rarebit coming to the boil. pancakes. “Feet Of Clay”

. . .this lady likes her pancakes Russian, with caviar and sour We do not yet know all of die details about die close cream, and expects diem to be surrounded by chicken Florentine relationship between great literature and Welsh rabbits, Moray, clams Duxberrv, Hawaiian curry with Major Gray’s In­ but we can see tiiat, in the hands o f a master, die relationship dian chutney, cottage cheese, gooseberry jam, gingerbread, a is interesting indeed. Consider die last quotation above and cheese slipover consisting of a deep-dish apple pie with a Welsh rabbit melted over it, lobster stuffed and baked, broccoli Parmesan, note die very rare use of “rarebit” instead o f “rabbit.” This crisp endive with Roquefort dressing, baked Alaska, coffee with may be especially significant when one takes into account grated orange peel and a clove, a Bacardi swizzle and a bottle of PGW^s use of “dream rabbit” —but that is a subject for Flora del Alpina, with a cashew nut to nibble and any other another essay. expensive or out of season comestibles obtainable or not.

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 3-> "J)UMB-gELLS IN THE gATH" y U R F NOTES

illiam Hardwick notes with a muted and Wgendemanly sorrow that the recent efforts of our horses on the English turf are not causing sleep­ less nights in the stables o f their competitors: 338 Dumb-Bells in the Bath. Dumbbells in tbe 3Batb. Plum First 5 outings Third once (Culled from a D evotee’s D iary.) Winsome Wooster 6 outings First once Pelham 7 outings Second twice g a.m. See notice on board. The following . . . must be at the Bath at 4.20. School stops at 4.15. Happy thought. Am supposed to be a quick-change artiste. Shades of Fregoli! Eighteen outings and four finishes in the money. Never thought I had it in me. . . . It’s a little hard to know what to advise in the present 4.30 p.m. Have dropped in at the Bath, not literally, as situation. One wonders if the manufacturers o f pet it is boarded over, but metaphorically. Happy thought. Work this up into joke-form, stir gently, season to taste, and food are in need of raw material. serve it up in a complete state. Must look out for a chance. , . . Find on enquiry that we are to do dumb-bells, an amusement which combines all the salient characteristics of apoplexy. Go and gather some dumb-bells. . . . On adjourning to dumb-bell emporium find that some scheming JNDIAN ^yODEHOUSE scoundrels had appropriated all the light ones. Look every­ where for a wooden pair. Happy thought. “ Look everywhere for a wooden pair ” would be a good beginning for a didactic poem on dumb-bells. It comprises in a short space the whole 5OCIEIY FORMS science. . . . No good, all gone. Have to take heavy pair. Gloomy forebodings. . . . Gloomy forebodings fully realised. Am told to fall in. Happy thought. Now is Sidney Kitson provided the following article from a recent the time for that joke re the boarding over of the Bath. issue of a Calcutta, India, newspaper. — OM. Spring it. Great success. Feel more cheerful now. . . . First exercise fairly soft thing : could keep on for weeks. . . . Change to second exercise. Begin to feel my muscles. hat is Jeeves’s first name? Which book does Never knew I had so many. Am aching all over. Cheerful Clarence, Earl o f Emsworth, always read be­ fellow-performer says it is very good for one. Happy thought: W so is complete rest. . . . Change to third exercise. Never fore gong to bed at night? Who was the chorus girl his bargained for this sort of thing. It takes a great mind to younger brother, Galahad Threepwood, wanted to fully fathom its intricacies. As far as I can see, you bend back till your head touches the ground and then attempt to marry but could not because of opposition from his rise, breathing regularly the while. Must be a practical joke. family? Which nephew of Mr Mulliner nearly had his . . . No, they seem serious enough about it. So am I. engagement broken because o f a cat? No joke at all. Happy thought: The muscles of his brawny arms were strong as German bands. Wonder if mine are. These are some o f the questions aspirants to mem­ Should like to drop dumb-bell and feel. Am aching all over. bership will have to answer if they expect a favourable . . . W hat! All over ? Hooray! Wonder if the Butt’s shut. Must go and see at once. (Exeunt severally). response to their applications from The Wodehouse Society, to be formed in Calcutta, India, on the master’s 114th birth anniversary, October 18. [His as this anonymous article written by P. G. Wode- actual birdi date was October 15,1881 —OM] house? JanPiggott, Archivist of Dulwich College, Sidney Kitson, a former Director-General of the Wfound the article in The Alleynicm, Vol. XXVII, no. 199, West Bengal Police and the leading light o f this December 1899. Jan “strongly suspects” it is by Plum, organization, insists that only those with a “serious” and on grounds of style, humor, and the writers5 view­ and insatiable interest in Wodehouse will be admit­ point so clearly expressed, it’s tempting to agree. ted. He himself is preparing a dissertation on police­ It5s also tempting to see in this early article the nucleus men in the novels and stories and visited England in o f the incident in which Bertie Wooster dropped into the August to get a feel for the country. His principal swimming pool o f the Drones in full evening dress. But collaborators include P. Lai, the proud recipient o f a Norman Murphy’s In Search of Blandings suggests that letter from Wodehouse. the source was Plum’s much later acquaintance with the To encourage research, the society will hold regu­ swimming pool of the Bath Club in Mayfair. lar lecture-and-discussion sessions. It plans to build up a comprehensive collection o f Wodehousiana, comprising two sets o f the complete works, first editions, posters, and stills from films and plays.

4 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 DISCOVERING THE HEROIC IN ^ODEHOUSE

By Nigel Williams

Peter Morris found this unusual view of Wodehouse in the silence but I wanted to know more, and, with the inten­ H ong Kong Sunday Standard of October 13, 1991. As one tion o f penetrating that reserve, I found myself nearly 20 writer’s view o f another writer it may have special validity. years later making a biography of Wodehouse for the BBC. As I trailed from survivor to survivor, almost the here is nothing immediately heroic about P. G. Wo­ only firm impression I managed to gain was that he was T dehouse. Apart from a brief and undistinguished extremely shy. People referred to his genuine innocence, career as a bank clerk, Wodehouse spent most o f his long his unhappy childhood or his kindness and gentleness in life writing some of the best comic novels written this human relations, but I never really felt they had known century. the man about whom they were talking. It was as if the And, although I admire him greatly as a prose stylist, man I was pursuing wasn’t really there at all. I am normally of the opinion diat writers shouldn’t make Some people told us about the “Wodehouse glide.” If heroes of other writers. there was any danger of what his sister-in-law Nella B u t there is a quality in Wodehouse the man diat is Wodehouse called an “ atmosphere” he would trickle most definitely of heroic proportions. I glimpsed it first from the room rather as Jeeves trickled into Bertie’s in the early 1970s, when I watched a B B C interview widi bedroom after his master had had a particularly hard him at his home in Long Island. night. Puzzled, I went back to that BBC footage. There The interviewer devoted at least half of the time asking was the old man in the garden. There were the questions, Wodehouse questions about his wartime broadcasts. He and there, once again, was Wodehouse looking off into had been living in Le Touquet at the start o f World War the distance for what seemed an age. II and was unable to get back to Britain. He was interned Except, now, I wasn’t so sure that this silence masked in Germany, and then released in [1941] on grounds of a deep grief about his exile. After running the film about age (he was by then 60). 15 times the editor and I decided he looked positively Trapped in Berlin, he gave a series o f humorous, non­ cheerful. political broadcasts on German radio widi the intention I went back to the interviews I had filmed, and, in die o f reassuring his American fans as to his safety. These transcript o f a conversation with his biographer, Frances harmless pieces were monitored by the BBC listening Donaldson, I found the clue diat unlocked his character service and became a hot political issue. Wodehouse was and began my realisation that there was something he­ branded as a fascist, which he wasn’t. roic about him. Thirty years on, it was a subject which obviously made “He wasn’t,” Lady Donaldson had said, “really diere him very uncomfortable, and the line of questioning, at all. He spent nearly all his waking life in the company designed chiefly to elicit his feelings on die issue rather of Jeeves and Bertie Wooster. And that was where he than to clarify the facts o f the case, did nodiing to make belonged.” She was right. the old boy look any happier. The man had disappeared into his work, and there are The pauses between question and response grew longer very, vety few writers good enough, or self-effacing and longer, until, at the last question, “Do you still think enough about the craft o f fiction, to be able to do that. of yourself as anEnglishman?” Wodehouse looked long His isolated, impassioned pursuit of a fictional world and hard at his knees, and then o ff to the right, for about that to a man as clever and well read as he was must have ten seconds before replying . often seemed irrelevant or absurd (it is very important WI suppose I do,” was his response, and after he’d said not to confuse Wodehouse with Wooster) presents all that he looked away into the distance as if in the hope that serious writers, especially those who dare to make jokes, some other chap would come along with the kind of with an ideal that can only be described by the word response the BBC might consider satisfactory. They had “ heroic.” left the camera running on his silence, and that was how the film ended, with an image o f an old man, broken and betrayed by the England he had written about so well. But there was something about that image that puzzled me. I wouldn’t have said there was a heroic quality to his

Plum Lines A utum n 1996 S PLUM TO PETER, A new book of P G W letters

his beautiful small volume containing the letters o f book that any P. G. Wodehouse fan will treasure, and P. G. Wodehouse to his editor, Peter Schwed, is just one that, because o f its rarity, may well appreciate in Tnow being published, and if you don’t order right away, value over the years. you may miss out! Because, as previously announced in A coupon is supplied below for you to order your own Plum Lines, this delightfully entertaining and informa­ copy (or more than one if, perhaps, you have a Christmas tive collection o f never-before published letters from the gift problem that can be solved in this charming fashion). Master to his editor and dear friend is being privately Peter Schwed will sign and number each copy, and issued in an elegant, limited edition o f only 500 copies, would be glad to pen in any inscription you designate, to each to be numbered and signed by Schwed. you or perhaps to someone else. Simply send him a note The letters were first shown as simple photocopies at at the time you place your order, and specify the word­ the Boston convention last fall. They created so much ing. interest from people wanting copies that Peter decided to Act now! Think how terrible you will feel if you turn put them out in book form, with additional commentary out to be Number 501! Please, checks or money orders and other features relating to PGW. That book has only, no credit cards. turned out to be an outstanding and important little volume. Dedicated “to the Members of the Wodehouse Peter Schwed Society, may their Tribe increase” it is prefaced by 151 West 86th Street (11C) 10024-3401 Schwed’s article, “Wodehouse’s Editor: A Painless Job”, New York, N.Y. which was written forP. G. WODEHOUSEyA Centenary Celebration, 1881-1981, and has never appeared elsewhere Please send me a copy ( o r__copies) until now. The article is followed bv all the Wodehouse of Plum to Peter at $ 30.00 per copy. $------letters, just as they came off his typewriter, and repro­ duced in as close to actual exact facsimile form as various I am adding $ 3.50 for postage and handling. ------sizes o f his stationery allowed. It is always clear that it’s an actual letter being shown on a page, rather than the If I am ordering more than one copy, printed text o f the letter. Then, on facing pages on almost I am sending $ 5.00 instead of $ 3.50. ------all of the letters, Schwed writes annotative notes, ex­ plaining, or amplifying, or simply making a personal If I am a New York State resident, comment upon, what Plum may have written in that I am adding the appropriate Sales Tax. ------letter. The subjects range from reports on work in progress and back-and-forth exchanges about choosing a good T otal $------title, to matters relating to Peter and his family, to life in Remsenburg, and certain fond reports about dogs and In recent years there have been several scholarly volumes cats. devoted to the writings of P. G. Wodehouse and these After the letters, the book includes the photograph naturally include in one way or another a complete list of his that was taken o f Peter “ knighting” P.G.W. in his Long books. I tip my hat in the direction of anyone who has succeeded in scoring a perfect mark in that undertaking Island home, while the brand new “Lady” Wodehouse because I, admittedly no professional bibliographer, have and agent Scott Meredith look on and applaud. Finally, tried to do it more than once over the past quarter century there is a column that Schwed wrote for the New York during which I have been his American editor. It’s a little like Times Sunday Book Review about a month after Plum’s trying to square the circle. Not only are the works of Wode­ death. Fittingly, it isn’t about death at all, but is instead house, like the flowering gardens of England (a paradise he extremely funny. Plum would have loved it. is believed by some to have invented and populated almost entirely with bachelors, butlers, aunts, the peerage, clergy­ Plum to Peter is as finely produced a book as might men, jolly girls some of whom have demoniacal ideas of fun, grace any bibliophile’s library. The paper is the best, the and golfers), numerically infinite, but, whether for good or printing impeccable, the binding is Royal Blue Eurohide bad reasons, English and American editions frequently bear (which looks and feels like leather, but wears infinitely different titles. better). The title and subtitle, imprinted in gold against — Peter Schwed that blue background, make a most handsome 6" by 9" in P. G. WODEHOUSE, A Centenary Celebration

6 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 m m MB

mis

:US. M f P w m m ^ m

tSgSStt& xSa

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 7 \yO D E H O U S E AND "THOSE HEARTLESS HAPLESS DRONES"

By Jan Piggott

Dr. Piggott is Archivist and Head of the P. G. Wodehouse February 1899 is fairly well known, with its sparbsh Library of Dulwich College. In the argot of the underworld rhyming o f a satiric view o f the schoolboy’s academic life the following article might be described as an inside job. as compared to the sporting life: “a book of Coptic” is -OM followed by “met my optic.” This was signed by the initials P.G.W.; most of the contributions to the maga­ he origins of writers’ numinous words are always zine in those days were unsigned or given a clever nom de interesting. Wodehouse in his penultimate year as a plum e. Reviews were always anonymous. Two reasons Tschoolboy sang a song about some Drones at an end-of- lead me to believe that the review which follows of the term Concert in the Great Hall at Dulwich College, on 31 same concert published in The Alleynian Vol. XXVII, no. July, 1899. We reproduce the evening’s programme here. 197, pp. 260-1, is by the boy Master himself: the descrip­ “Hybrias die Cretan,” Wodehouse’s choice, has a lyric by tion of Wodehouse’s own performance discreetly avoids die neglected Scottish poet, Thomas Campbell (1777- a comment on the quality of the singing; then diere is the 1844). Campbell was known as die “Bard of Hope” : he general tone, the reference to Lewis Carroll, and even the wrote “The Pleasures of Hope” in reply to Samuel Rogers (possibly subliminal) echo of Campbell in the use of die (1763-1855), the “Bard of Memory” who wrote “The word drone—admittedly with anodier quite different Pleasures of Memory.” Campbell’s lyric describes the semantic reference. bringing into obsequious submission the unsporting The tone o f the review stands at an ironic angle to die and the pacifists by the energetic Hybrias the Cretan; conventional, in the same way as in a contemporary these feeble creatures are described as “heartless, hapless photograph of Arthur Herman Gilkes the famous Mas­ drones;” Wodehouse presumably shared the contempt ter (Headmaster) ofDulwich College posed in front of for these, as if they were slacking or swotting schoolboys. the great College doors with his prefects, Wodehouse is This is the lyric: die only boy conspicuously not aligning his face fiilly with the photographer. He stands, a pillar of the estab­ Song of Hybrias the Cretan lishment, against a marble pillar and Gothic capital. The reviewer in his account o f the song is also obviously M y wealth’s a burly spear and brand, fascinated (as Wodehouse would be) widi the play of And a right good shield o f hides untann’d, meaning, the absurdities o f the pseudo-classical syntax Which on my arm I buckle: and the stage properties of the lyric, and with the ludi­ With these I plough, I reap, I sow, crous contrast of the turn-of-die-century schoolboy sing­ And all around me truckle. ing the song of the swaggering self-satisfied Cretan. Wodehouse was so loyal to his school and to The But your wights that take no pride to wield A lleynian that he continued for many years, until the A massy spear and well-made shield, onset o f War, to write up the College’s first team cricket Nor joy to draw the sword: and Rugby football matches, even when he was already Oh, I bring those heartless, hapless drones, a celebrated writer and had to cross the Channel from Le Down in a trice on their marrow-bones, Touquet to watch die games. It was also in The Alleynian To call me King and Lord. that he chose to publish the only statement which he made in Britain about his internment and the broadcasts, Wodehouse was an editor of the College magazine, made shortly after the close of war, in the form of an called The Alleynian (after the Founder in 1619 ofDulwich extract from a letter he wrote to R.T. “Beaky” Rees, a College, Edward Alleyn, the famous actor who created Dulwich master. the main roles for the first nights of Christopher Marlowe’s plays). There are many uncollected and unrepublished pieces by Wodehouse to be found in The Alleynian, with Jan has provided another A lleynian article which he examples of his developing wit and standpoint. The “strongly suspects” is by Wodehouse. It includes a men­ “Poem on the New Football Ground” published in tion of “dropping in at the Bath.” Sound familiar? Sec February 1899 is fairly well biown, with its sparkish the article on page 4. — OM

8 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 P r o g r a m m e . ^ 4; s x v 9 .. D u lu jicl) College. - - C ' P a r t I . / ^ j

1. S c h o o l S o x c **Pueri Allcynicostt"

2. S e l e c t i o n fro m L'A l l e g r o ” Handel.

(r) ftecit. —"H ence, loathed Melancholy.”

• “ Haste thee, Nymph, aud bring with thee , r ) Jest and youthful Jollity, (a ; orui <1 sport, that wrinkled Care derides, P r o g r a m m e And Laughter, bolding both his sides.” - . i ” Come, and trip it as y o u go (j) CAerus j Qn thc Ught faolasiic t04,»

3. P ia n o SOI.OS ( i ) “ Lied ohne W orter " (“ The Bees’ Wedding”) Mendthtokn. « . a . S T E v e H S O N . ■ ■ ■ « K * (2) " Polish Dance ” Sckanpenka. oncert M. L . H Y D E * . Handel. 4. S e l e c t i o n fro m ” L'A l l e g r o "

(5 ) Solo —" Mirth, admit me of thy crew.” J. J. ANDERSON,

(6) Sole —"Let me wander not unseen." ...on ... W. D. OIBRON.

f " And young and old, come forth to play,

Handel. 6. S e l e c t i o n fro m " L’A l l e g r o ” 1 Sale & t “ Populous cities please us then, W 1 Charut 1 And the busy bum of men.” J . J . ANDERSON.

rt. ( "These delights, if thou cafl’st give, (9) C orut | Mirth, with thee I mean to live."

7- G u t u “ Sinee first l saw your face" F in d HE basis of this year's concert was 11 L'Allegro,” words by J. Milton, music by Handel. The choir s. M i n u e t a n d A l l e g r o , from " Concerto N’o. 5.” for Strings . had spent a good deal of time over this fine piece,

9. S o n g T h e D i v e r " /.Oder. and did themselves justice on Concert Night. What G. S. LUSCOMBE. solos were required were despatched by Anderson in fine style. Anderson has a very good, clear voice. He 10. P a r t S o n g . The ilridc hath paced into the hall" ■ Barnett.

(For Boys' Voices) {From “T h e A n c i e n t M a r i n e r .”) was especially good in 11 Populous Cities.” This number was, perhaps, the best, the drone accompaniment to 44 and the 11. C l a w n b t S o l o “ Serenade ” Thiere. busy hum of men” blending with the voice to perfection. A. RAWORTH. Anderson also had another solo, in which heagain distinguished 12. S o n g . " I'll siog thee songs of Araby ” Clay. himself. Sing, then, muse, of the 44 Diver,” as ably rendered W . D. GIBBON. by Luscombe. Luscombe is of the 44 vox et praeterea nihil” 13. P i a n o S o l o ** Norw egian Bridal Procession ” Grieg. class. The voice is certainly there, but where are the words ? L. S. MORTON. They softly and silently vanish away, like the man who saw

. P i l g r i m s ' C h o r u s , from " Taunhauscr," for Men’s Voices 14 W agner. a Boojum instead of a snark. In the last line of the 44 Diver " a special run was inserted for positively this occasion only. i$ . E u p h o n i u m S o l o "O ruddier than the Cherry" . Handel. C. W. THOMA 6 . The run started on the lowest note possible, and then went steadily lower and lower. A most creepy effect. How can , S o n g . " Hybrias the Cretan ” 16 ■ E llio t/ . we describe Gibbon in 44 Songs of Araby ? ” It was immense. P. G. WODEHOUSE. Gibbon was in fine voice, and as 44 Songs of Araby " is one 17. V i o l i n S o l o of the best of tenor songs, the result was magnificent. The 44 PilgrinTs Hymn ” did not go quite as well as at rehearsal, 18- S c n o o L S o n g " Good-bye " W . D. GIBBON. but it was distinctly well rendered, considering the difficulty of the piece. After this Wodehouse sang 44 Hybreas the Cretan.” From this song we learn that, if there is but one thing that Wodehouse works in more than a burly spear and " AULD LANG SYNE." brand, it is a massy shield of hides untanned, which on his arm he buckles. The concert ended with the school song 44 Good-bye,” . “ (Bob Save tbe Queen.” which was admirably sung by Gibbon. “ God save the Queen,” 44 Auld Lang Syne,” and the usual cheers, brought the proceedings to a close.

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 9 "JHE J)RONES VISIT JE "pOUQUET

By Tony Ring

he years rolled back to the 1930s as four members o f tion and bonhomie, promptly blocked the minibus and the Drones Club, together with associated ladies, set called die police. To watch CCM. Poirot” (yes, we know Tout on 29 September to determine whedier the facilities he’s really Belgian) get out his little table from the police of Le Touquet and its golf links would meet die exacting van, sit down, call for documents and take statements standards required for the Club’s autumn golf weekend. brought a cheerful smile to all our faces. We were never They trickled along to Biggin Hill International Airport, quite sure that the performance had not been staged for forced open the front door, and climbed aboard a nine- our benefit. seater Piper Navajo to start their journey. In the sweepstake to determine which hotel would be One o f die advantages that P. G. Wodehouse claimed lucky enough to act as our host, Oofy Prosser had drawn for Le Touquet was that it was only an hour by plane the Westminster, so, inevitably, it was die Westminster from England, and so it proved, forty minutes being which came out of the hat. It provided an excellent lunch ample for the pilot to drop us down at the airport for Le Touquet’s m aire and his wife, its Director o f (opened in 1936), right into the middle o f a scene which Tourisme (a tide awarded the winner of the “most-out- could easily have featured in Frozen Assets. of-period experience” of the weekend), and the curator If you recall, Jerry Shoesmith went to a Paris police o f its museum. Despite the temptation o f three separate station to report that he had lost his wallet, only to speeches, each fortuitously short, die Drones inexplica­ discover that it had been handed in as lost property to the bly chose to eat dieir bread rolls rather than throw diem. police sergeant to whom he spoken. After taking down Two of them (the Drones, not the bread rolls) each all the details, and clearing die matter with his superior, exhibited a look of furtive shame, the shifty, hangdog he showed it to Jerry and told him he could collect it from look immortalised by Monty Bodkin, as they conveyed a different location in diree days. Even though Jerry appropriate thanks and greetings to our guests. needed to return to England the following day. It is well known that one of the finest houses in Le The context o f our arrival differed slightly, but still Touquet has been and still is Low Wood, on the junction featured a policeman with almost shaven head and of Avenue du Golf and Avenue Allen Stoneham. This Poirot-style moustaches who was deter­ property, owned by the Wodehouses in mined to make, as Anatole would have the 1930s, is for sale, and in an astute put it, two mountains out o f some move, the Drones kidnapped the molehills. Four golfers had ar­ estate agent and received the rived on an earlier flight, and grand tour. It was clear from been apparently stranded at photographs that one end the airport with not a taxi in ______' o f the house had been sight. The foresight o f the reconstructed, possibly Drones had caused a mini­ following wartime bus to be waiting for us, damage, but the bulk and the chauffeur had * o f the property was presented himself early. recognisably the Being filled with the same, and the grounds right spirit, he had wel­ o f around an acre were comed the foreign guests, still well maintained, learned o f their distress, with lawns, flower­ and taken them the couple beds and many trees. of miles to their hotel. Bv In the first chapter of the time o f his return, two Uncle Fred in the Springtime registered taxis had shown up, (Bravo, Oncle Fred in the and the drivers, taking exception French translation) some of the to his gesture o f European coopera­ action takes place on the fourteenth

10 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 fairway of the golf links at Le Touquet, and at the house adjacent to it. The fourteenth hole became the ninth STERLING WODEHOUSE when the course was reconstructed in the 1950s and is now the eighteenth, but astute readers will have guessed j q A Z A R I O that it was the hole which abuts Low Wood. Two of the Drones clambered over the barbed wire on to the fairway and walked the remainder of the hole, reversing the steps of Claude Port and Valerie Twistleton-Twistleton. After excellent browsing and sluicing first at Le Manoir hotel and then at one of those restaurants you wished you could find round the corner, it was decided to try our luck at the Casino. In many o f his letters P. G. Wodehouse reported mixed fortunes at the tables, but for some inexplicable (I checked the spelling with Ikey Llewellyn) reason tended to concentrate on die three milles francs or so which he won, alongside the similar sum which Ethel had lost. Our plans were initially diwarted by die refusal of the casino management to adm it us, not because diey thought we had brought along Bingo Litde’s infallible system, but because they thought we might have been under eighteen. Or so it seemed, for when three of the more intrepid members o f die party returned later with pass­ ports showing photographs and dates of birdi, we were admitted without a murmur. The weather on Sunday remained dry, but the main topic of conversation was whedier the wind, now strong enough to blow die trees almost horizontal, would pre­ vent our return that afternoon. This particularly con­ cerned die one of our number who was due to preside over Bosher Street Police Court at 10.30 the next day. A secondary aspect o f the matter was what the future might hold, or might not hold, if the wind took its toll after our planned lunchtime feast under the guidance of a local Anatole. These problems were put on one side during a visit to the Museum, which features an excellent history of die town which was founded in 1882 widi the name Paris- u r society has just acquired a very special Plage, reflecting its creation as an escape from the capital. honorary member. Joy and Charles Schnebel of This exhibition is backed up by modern and mainly LagunaO Niguel, California, joined recently and asked impressionist art, with something to cater for all tastes. whether a great nephew, born in May, might be granted To the regret o f some, but relief of odiers, the wind honorary membership in our society. When we learned level was low enough for a safe, if bumpy, return flight. that die baby’s name was Sterling Wodehouse Nazario, The sight o f a horizontal windsock bearing the advertis­ and tiiat his parents had chosen that magic middle name ing legend ‘Airfix’ caused raised eyebrows as we contem­ in tribute to Plum, there could be only one answer. It was plated the solidity o f our aircraft’s infrastructure, but we but the work o f a moment to cobble up a certificate and landed safely enough. ask President Elliot Milstein to sign it and send it to the Before parting we agreed our recommendations to the Schnebels for their new relative. Entertainments Committee o f the Drones: that Le We welcome Sterling Wodehouse Nazario with Touquet would be a most suitable location for the au­ warmth and delight, and wish for him a lifetime o f joy tumn weekend, but that due to its lack of decoration and and innocent pleasure with the stories o f our beloved Sir suitable furniture we should not seek to rent Low Wood Pelham Grenville Wodehouse. It is surely appropriate to as our headquarters. refer to Sterling as the Youngest Member, or YM. — OM

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 11 J^EW MEMBERS Micah Evans William H. Kiley 107 Gordan Street, #2 13232 Oak Ridge Trail Allston MA 02134 Palos Heights IL 60463

Winifred Alston Karen Cedarblade Barbara Fitzsimmons Anne Killheffer Meadow Lane Cottage 9326 Old Burke Lake Rd. 17 Amy Road 9 W. Rock Avenue Oldfield, Ombersley Burke VA 22015 Framington MA 01701 New Haven C T 06515 Worcs. WR9 oJO United Kingdom Gail Cervantes Dr. James D. Gibson Dianne Kinzer 12033 Sarkis Drive Box 384329 737 S. Curley Street Mark Anderson Mokena IL 60448 Waikoloa H I 96738 Baltimore MD 21224 497 Weidner Road Buffalo Grove IL 60089 North K. Charles Thomas D. Giese Kathryn Kopf 930 Central 6516 Monument Avenue Leamy House 28 Joshua J. Arnedt Kansas City MO 64105 Richmond V A 23226 115 E. Roumfort Road 43 Jackson Road, #3 Philadelphia PA 19119 Somerville MA 02145 James Chatwin Sandy Gleaves 15 Fairways 647 Cedar Valley Road Mary Lattimore John Bain Kenley Tipton IA 52772 3740 Horton Lane 5214 Arvada Street Surrey CR8 5HY Carmichael C A 95608 Torrance CA 90503 United Kingdom Samuel Griffis Box 932 Heather True Lavalle Andrew Barnes Aan B. Coleman Putney V T 05346 442 W. 50th Street, #iW 215 Pond Street Box 4601 New York N Y 10019 Natick MA 01760 Key West FL 33041 R. Bruce Hammatt Box 353 Mrs. Emelie Levinson Loouis J. Barry Robert W. Creamer South Orleans MA 02662 233 S. Barrington, #111 420 Glen Meade Drive 44 Fulling Avenue Los Angeles C A 90049 Portsmouth RI 02871 Tuckahoe NY 10707 Barbara and Richard Harmon 560 Longfellow Avenue Patricia Levinson Ain Bishop Judith H. Crumbliss Deerfield IL 60015 10108 Summertime Lane 1955 N. Wilmot 310 Oakvale Drive Culver City CA 90230 Chicago IL 60647 Brentwood TN 37027 Angela Hicks 6126 Gossard Street Dawn Lewis Bob Brown Caren Cunningham East Lansing M I 48823 524 N. Oklahoma Avenue Box 239 330 E. 39th St. #27K Morton IL 61550 Thetford Center V T 05075 New York NY 10016 Michael Hindman 632 Goldborough Drive William and Marsha Libby Paula Stober and Bill Bucklin Sunil K. Dhingra Rockville M D 20850 1 West Mountain Road 3607 Timberoak Drive 178 Carey Circle Ridgefield CT 06877 Greensboro NC 27410 Stoughton MA 02072 Mr. and Mrs. D. H. Holt Freeman’s Hospital Lane Betty and Jay Linam Frances A. Burmeister Joseph Dooley Sherborn Dorset DT9 2JF 27910 County Farm Rd. 1120 E. Madison 70 Spanish Bay Circle United Kingdom Pueblo CO 81006 Fairfield LA 52556 Pebble Beach CA 93953 Susan Jolliffe Maralisia Long Scott Burrell Peter J. Drake 1593 Washington 177 Poli Avenue 2000 F Street NW, #407 16 Kirkoswald Avenue Birmingham MI 48009 Ojai CA 93023 Washington DC 20006 Mosman NSW 2088 Australia Dorothy Kartak Christopher and Faith Fr. Daniel Cahill and Lisa Kartak-McDonald Manning St James Rectory Christopher W. Dueker 243 Hudson Avenue 315 S. Washington Street 1086 Guerrero St. 37 Ringwood Ave Hopatong NJ 07643 Hinsdale IL 60521 San Francisco CA 94110 Atherton CA 94027 Michael Kerekes George Marchmont Paul C. Carr Winston Duke 1200 Warburton Avenue 3800 Stanford Ave.nue 76 Randolph Road Ten Crawling Stone Road Yonkers NY 10701 Dallas TX 75225 Worcester MA 01606 Barrington Hills IL 60010

12 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 Marilyn A. Marshall Bart Pepermans Stephanie Ross Peter S. Sweet 16 N. Chatsworth Avenue O. L. Vrouwstr. 79 1250 N . Dearborn Parkway, #70 38 Ripley Hill Road Larchmont N Y 10538 2800 Mechlen Chicago IL 60610 Concord MA 01742 Belgium 015/4115 07 Alfred J. Masciocchi James and Joan Rybarczyk Dean Miller and Martha 31 Hemlock Court Johnny Pate 840 Wolcott Avenue Swift Durham CT 06422 Box 192 St. Joseph M I 49085 10848 S. Hoyne Avenue Louvale GA 31814 Chicago IL 60645 Jim Matheson William Saddler 548 Manor Circle Derek Pedder 2329 W. Greenleaf Meher Tatna Schaumberg IL 60194 43 Pole hill Road Chicago IL 60645 1435 Stanley Avenue, *231 North Chingford Glendale CA 91206 Corinne Allen McArdle London E4 7L2 Patrick M. Scheible 9745 S. Karlov, #304 United Kingdom 2251 N .E. Blakeley St., #103 Clara Terrana Oak Lawn IL 60453 Seatde WA 98105 507 Cloverleaf Court Jean Perkins Naperville IL 60565 Kevin McAuley 399 W. Fullerton Parkway Chuck and Joy Schnebel 18 Union Hill Road Chicago IL 60614 23052 Andria Place Jeannette Thomas Denville N J 07834 Laguna Nigel CA 92677 105 Grasmere Road Kerry Perkins Bala-Cynwyd PA 19004 Eugene and Victoria 4121 E. 18th Street Christine Starner Schuppe McCaffrey Denver CO 80220 14618 Tyler Foote Road Rowland Thompson 921 Clubview Drive Nevada City CA 95959 325 Lyon Crest Lane Fort Collins CO 80524 John Perry Olympia W A 98506 5 Park House Kevin Shaney Geoffrey McLaughlin 123-125 Harley Street 3576 Alani Drive Allison Thompson 26 Hodgkins Drive London WiN iHE Honolulu H I 96822 1623 Denniston Avenue Ipswich MA 01938 United Kingdom Pittsburgh PA 15217 Elaine Shwimer Bill C. Metros Judith Perzik 21 Old Stagecoach Road Abigail Thompson 293 N. Fourth Street 3405 Via Palamino Bedford MA 01750 116 Windermere Drive Gettysburg PA 17325 Palos Verdes Estates Pittsburgh PA 15228 C A 90274 Jill Spriggs Thomas J. Michels 1431 Springhaven Cr. NE Donald Thornton 2406 Cheverly Avenue Michael Pettersen Massilon OH 44646 1145 8th Street Cheverly M D 20785 7215 N. Hamilton Ave. Rupert ID 83350 Chicago IL 60645 Marjorie C. Stober Bruce Millar 346 Hargadine Street Keri White 9919 Woodburn Road James M. Pickard Ashland O R 97520 215 Spruce Street Silver Springs MD 20901 Flat 83, 2nd floor Philadelphia PA 19106 Po Shan Mansons Don and Mary Lou Stone Michael Montoya xo Po Shan Rd. 1502 Cedar Hill Road Michael Wiley 1063 Sand Dune Road Hong Kong Dallas TX 75208 9534 O ’Hara Drive Rio Rancho NM 87124 Brentwood TN 37027 Kenneth Ramming Diana Wodehouse Strong Donna Moorhead 2126 La Mesa Drive 1700 W. 106th Street Christopher A. Wolski 98 Paquawket Path Santa Monica CA 90402 Chicago IL 60643 11910 Holiday Dr., Apt. 207 Groton MA 01450 Grandview MO 64050 Lincoln Richardson George Sturm Janies W. Muller 417 Tana Lane 12 Cypress Court Andrew Wyminga 1518 Airport Heights Dr. Joliet IL 60435 Edison N J 08820 Cripplewhim, Litde Beach Anchorage A K 99508 Chain of Lagoons Diane E. Richoux Barbara Sullivan Tasmania 7215 Francis Nagle 11865 N. Vista Del Sol 222 E. 17th Street Australia 41 Franklin Road Tucson A Z 85741 Cheyenne WY 82001 Norwell MA 02061 Ronald Zate Marcia J. Rodgers Ruth L. Swain 347 North Eton, #i8B Alicia Olin 17 N.W . 38th Street 2115 Nolte Drive Birmingham MI 48009 6375 N. Nokomis Avenue Kansas City MO 64116 Prescott A Z 86301 Chicago IL 60646

Plum Lines Autum n 1996 13 W °D E H O U S E o n t e l e v is io n

Donald Daniel and Alex Hemming sent me this article from a house novel, as opposed to distillations from the short December 1995 issue of the English Daily Telegraph. It was stories, has been put on die 'TV screen. printed just before the first showing of Heavy Weather on As a Wodehouse buff since the age o f 12, 1 have always television in Britain, and looks at die history of transferring P. felt slighdy uneasy about even the best-intentioned ef­ G. Wodehouse to the little screen. —OM forts at turning the books into scripts. In his vintage years—which is to say, roughly between the two world robably the best TV adaptation of P.G. Wodehouse wars —the Wodehouse brand of humour moved yet put on our screens was the original Jeeves and unstoppably from semi-straight comedy to farce and BertieP series, The World of Wooster, produced by the BBC then closer to inspired fantasy, diough he always main­ in 1965. It had the late Dennis Price as Jeeves and Ian tained that his characters were rooted in personal experi­ Carmichael as Bertie, and I can still remember the split- ence. And once you put flesh on fantasy, trying to pin level set which represented Bertie’s plush maisonette in down the sublime barminess of Lord Emsworth, or die Berkeley Mansions, Mayfair. superhuman aura of Jeeves, you risk destroying it. Regrettably, the series also had audience laughter on The ultimate magic, as all admirers will tell you, lies in the tape, but that was because, like all its immediate his prose. Pick up any prime Wodehouse and reading die successors, it was produced by Light Entertainment. descriptive passages is like running a hot knife dirough Wodehouse himself approved of Price’s wonderfully best butter. H alf a century on they still make me chuckle. urbane Jeeves and conceded that Carmichael was the best Not even Douglas Livingstone, the veteran TV writer Bertie available, in the unavoidable absence of Ralph who has adapted Heavy Weather, or its distinguished Lynn. director, Jack Gold, could hope to find a television When Sir Pelham (‘Plum’) Wodehouse died in 1975, equivalent for Wodehouse’s evocation of the Empress forty-five days after receiving his belated knighthood, he tucking into her bran mash: CA sort of gulpy, gurgly, left more than ninety books (one for every year of his plobby, squishy, woffle-some sound, like a thousand life), around thirty stage works, uncounted lyrics, and a eager men drinking soup in a foreign restaurant.’ reputation, slightly dented in the post-war years but long Livingstone, creator of Boys from the Bush and many since recovered, as our greatest humorous writer. At least one-off TV plays, analyses part of the Wodehouse prob­ two o f his characters—Bertie Wooster and his valet lem as "trying to reconcile the energy of die plots with die Jeeves—have passed into national [worldwide! —OM] languor of most of the characters.’ Or, putting it another folklore. Twenty years after his death Wodehouse societ­ way, trying to convey to a modern audience the depth of ies flourish, especially in the United States. In India anguish aroused among the Wodehousian beau monde by alone, his books sell a million copies annually. In Japan the wearing o f the wrong kind o f evening tie, or the and some European countries they are set exam texts. publication o f scandalous reminiscences by an elderly Attempts to translate the world o f Wodehouse to roue (almost the sole motivation o f the Heavy Weather other media, including several which did not exist when Piot). he began writing, have hardly lagged behind his popular­ Wodehouse appeared to be laying down a definitive ity in print. The cinema (silent and talking), television, view on adaptation when he wrote in his preface to die stage and radio have all offered their versions of the first Jeeves Omnibus: "Jeeves knows his place, and it is Master’s creations, a parade o f English eccentrics second between the covers of a book.1 That, however, was in in richness and variety only to those of Dickens. Jeeves 1952. By the time the BBC had secured the rights to the has even been made into the hero of a Lloyd Webber first Jeeves series, the Master had modified his tune. He musical. was, he said, no longer worried about selling his soul for Christmas Eve will see die latest o f the oeuvre, a gold. "I just asked them how much gold they had in ninety-five minute version o f the 1933 novel Heavy mind.’ W eather, involving the ninth Earl of Emsworth, his Gold had in fact been flowing from non-literary sources irrepressible brother Galahad, his formidable sister since early on in the author’s career. Hollywood put him Constance, and his prize pig Empress of Blandings. on the silent screen with A Gentleman o[ Leisure as long Unlike earlier B B C adaptations, it has been largely shot ago as 1915. Wodehouse himself co-scripted many film on location. It’s also the first time that a complete Wocic-

14 Plum Lines Autum n 1996 adaptations in the 1920s and 1930s. David Niven played SOMETHING NEW Bertie in a 1936 Jeeves movie and Richard Briers, one of next Sunday’s stars, turned up in a 1961 version of The G irl on the Boat. John Fletcher reports that Wodehouse Among the Chick­ elevision, in contrast, was remarkably slow ens, the third volume of the Wodehouse Concordance, T to catch up, but then it was not invented until has just been published. It covers the Ukridge stories. Wodehouse was in his midfifties. The 1965 W orld o f John notes that “The cover says cVol. 4* instead of Wol. Wooster was followed by a batch o f Blandings tales, with 3,5 so the story we are putting about is that there has been Sir Ralph Richardson as a highly credible Lord Ems- a delay with Volume 3, which will come out next year, worth and Stanley Holloway horribly miscast as Beach, ready for the Chicago convention. It will deal with the the buder. school stories. 55 Then came Ukridge, Wodehouse’s latter-day In the meantime, the latest volume is available in Micawber eternally on the verge o f making his fortune, America from Fritz Menschaar, 140 Cabrini Blvd., Apt played by Anton Rodgers, and John Alderton and Pau­ 132, New York NY 10033, o r Charles E. Gould Jr., Box line Collins in a selection of the Mr Mulliner stories, 543, Kent CT 06757. In England, Nigel Williams, 7 which for my money are some of the funniest in the Waldeck Grove, London SE27 oBE, and Anthony Cotes, Wodehouse canon. Benny Green, a dyed-in-the-wool 12 Abbey Farm, St. Bees, Cumbria H 3Z 2X3 are the men aficionado, considers these to have been the best adapta­ to see. tions ever, scoring 100 per cent for authenticity in least two episodes. William Hardwick notes that “BBC have issued a new After that—from the mid-1970s onwards—there was cassette entitled The Oldest Member,5 consisting of an unaccountable gap. It was the literary agent o f the dramatisations o f six golfing short stories. The cassette Wodehouse estate, Rod Hall, who decided the time had number is (?) ZB B C 1783, ISBN 0-563-38802-1, price come for a TV revival. Whether moved by a posthumous £7.99. They were originally broadcast during Dec 94/ sense o f duty to the author or by the financial benefit to Jan 95 and reported in Plum Lines Spring 95, page 11.” Wodehouse’s heirs, he suggested to independent pro­ ducer Brian Eastman that some new Jeeves and Wooster Jan Kaufman and Pauline Blanc report that A Com­ series made on handsome film locations and without mon Reader offers the Donaldson biography and thirty- audience laughter, would go down well. seven of Plum’s books, all in paperback, as well as Yours, And so it did, earning hit ratings for Granada Televi­ Plum, The Letters of P. G. Wodehouse, and The Amazing sion for four years up 1993 and the qualified approval of Adventures of the Wodehouse Society in hardcover. A m az­ buffs such Norman Murphy o f the Wodehouse Society ing Adventures is Norman Murphy’s account of our who believes that the play o f emotion across the expres­ Wodehouse Pilgrimage of 1989; the small book was sive features of Hugh Laurie as Bertie ('Shock, horror, beautifully produced by Jimmy Heineman. revelation, and back to horror again5) came closest mir­ In addition, and this is a quite remarkable offer, A roring Wodehouse’s eloquent prose. Common Reader lists the six-volume set o f “The Great Sticking my neck out, I predict that Sunday’s piece, Sermon Handicap” publisheded by Jimmy Heineman in the longest chunk of TV Wodehouse so far delivered at many languages, for only $50, a great reduction from its a sitting, will find general favour. If it lacks a clinching original price. “ In limited supply*5 the catalog says, so act overall style, it is undeniably faithful to the original. It is quickly if you want a set. agreeably located at Sudeley Castle—the Gloucestershire This is an excellent source for anyone beginning a pile on which Wodehouse is said to have based Blandings collection. To order or request a catalog, call (800) 832- and has splendid performances o f just the right farceur 7323. weight from Richard Briers as Uncle Gaily, Roy Hudd as a twinkly, avuncular Beach, and Sarah Badel as the Catalogs have been received from the following P. G. snooty Lady Julia Fish. Wodehouse specialist booksellers: Charles E. Gould Jr., Fritz Menschaar, and Nigel Williams.

[The policeman] was taut and alert, as became an officer who, after a jog-trot existence of Saturday drunks and failures to abate smoky chimneys, finds himself faced for the first time with crime on a colossal scale. Uncle Dynamite, 1948

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 IS W°DEHOUSE AND JH E J^LLEYNIAN

By Benjamin Wolf

Alex Hemming, an Old Alleynian himself, kindly provided Upon a book of Coptic), this article from a 1995 issue of The Alleynian , the Dulwich And close at hand a daundess band College magazine. Benjamin W olf is the editor o f the publica­ Of diggers met my optic tion. I watched them dig; I watched them rest, (Which happened rather often!) his academic year was the centenary of P. G. And then I direw myself into Wodehouse’s entrance into the college [on May 2, The breach, their work to soften. T1894]. To mark this occasion Dr. Piggott [Archivist and head o f die Wodehouse Library] presented an exhibition And oft did we, although disturbed in the Wodehouse library on ‘Wodehouse and Dulwich.5 By rain and wintry breezes, This article.. .is largely based on the information in that Remove by force from off the course exhibition. The weighty trunks of treeses! There are various mentions o f Wodehouse when he was at the College. The first of these is in the Upper Third To move a trunk that weighs a ton B team cricket listings of November 1894* Wodehouse’s Demands no meager caution; sporting achievements were considerable, and his fine And these were but a litde bit bowling performances for the College’s first XI are re­ From off the upper portion! corded in the Alleynians of the late 1890s. More interesting than these are the mentions of Besides the trees were coundess piles Wodehouse’s musical performance, the following is an O f bricks and other rubble; extract from a concert review of July 1899: And heaps o f clay we cleared away With spade, and cart, and trouble! .. .After this Wodehouse sang ‘Hybreas the Cretan/ From this song we learn that if there is but one thing Wodehouse works in more than a burly spear and brand, it a massy shield o f hides But now at last the deed is did! untanned, which on his arm he buckles. Our toil at length is ended! With great success we’ve cleared the mess This from February 1900, when Wodehouse was one And all in the garden’s splendid! o f the four editors o f the magazine:

Wodehouse then informed the audience kindly but firmly o f his intention of departing for ‘for’ing5 parts on the morrow.. .At the On Purdy Hypothetical Subjects repetition o f the last verse, the gallery joined in the chorus. The start was fair, but the superior stamina of the many told in the end, If a person decides that a fee o f five shilling and, after a grueling race, the singer was beaten by a bar and two For joining a club is immense notes. And states in the Press that he’s very unwilling To go to such fearful expense; There were several contributions made by Wode­ If with scathing replies angry OA’s should rout him, house to the magazine, which perhaps showed evidence And hint that if he will not pay, o f his literary talents. From 1898: Perhaps they can manage to get on without him, Oh, will he be popular, eh? On the New Football Ground If a double-dyed scoundrel should say that the Boarders As I was strolling through the field, Possess a plethora of hats, I heard a sudden call come! Whereas one cap for all, he is perfectly sure, does, A silvery sound stole o’er die ground, Who, prithee, will not reply—‘Nonsense!’ And whispered—‘Let ’em all come!’ But if he retracts this disgraceful suggestion, Unworthy Alleynian’s pen, I raised my eye (which I had fixed I think I am right in proposing this question: Oh! will he be popular, then?

16 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 Wodehouse was extremely fond of his school, and this it was not published in full in the first place, but these fondness extended to the magazine of which he had once extracts will hopefully suffice (all ellipses in these extracts been editor. He continued to subscribe to the magazine are not original): after he left. Indeed contributions from Wodehouse continued. There is a long article in May 1902 entitled Sir, cMy Friend the Villain,’ which discussed the villain in I have received from Mr. P. G. Wodehouse a letter which is too long for publication in full, but extracts from it may interest school stories. He also reviewed sport in 1902-05 and in your readers. It begins: 1920-39. “I had a letter from Bill Townend a few days ago, handing However, the most important piece of evidence con­ me on the gist o f a letter which you wrote to him regarding the cerning Wodehouse’s feelings for Dulwich and its maga­ feeling at Dulwich about me. He writes: zine came in 1945. Wodehouse had been attacked in the ‘Rees says he feds you ought to know that Dulwich opinion British press for the broadcasts he made while [in Berlin regarding the broadcasts is very critical, even hostile, because the during the war]. He was accused, wrongly, of aiding general idea is that you were persuaded to broadcast by the Nazis in order to add interest to their propaganda in return for some Nazi propaganda efforts. Wodehouse was distressed by measure of liberty, and that what is needed is a brief account of the negative attitude towards him that was prevalent at what actually happened. the College, and wrote a letter, which defended his ‘I don’t know if you have read a book by Harry Flannery actions, to R. T. Reese for publication in TheAlleynian. called—I think—Berlin Assignment, in which he states that a It appeared in the magazine in 1945. There is not suffi­ representative of the German propaganda office came to see me in cient space to quote the letter in its entirely, even though camp and arranged with me that I should be released in order to broadcast. This is absolutely untrue... ‘What happened was this. I was released on June 21,1941, a few months before I was sixty... ‘On arrival in Berlin I ran into a very old friend o f mine, a German who had been at Hollywood with me. I was telling him about life in camp, and a friend o f his, who joined us, suggested that I might like to broadcast an account o f my experiences to my American readers... All through the last ten months o f my intern­ ment I had been receiving letters from American readers, very anxious to know how I was getting on and I had not been able to answer any of these, as in camp you are allowed to write only to near relatives. ‘I felt that these people, not knowing the circumstances, would be thinking me ungrateful and ungracious for ignoring their letters, and it seemed to me that by broadcasting my experiences I could make a sort o f interim acknowledgment...! can see now, of course, how idiotic it was o f me to do such a thing and I naturally regret it very much, but at the time it never struck me that I was doing anything wrong... ‘... it was only after my wife arrived in Berlin on July 28, just after the last talk had been broadcast, that I heard o f the reaction in England. ‘I can see now, of course, that I was tricked into making these talks, and I naturally feel a damned fool, but I hope I have made it clear that there was never anything in the nature of a bargain with the Germans...’ ” Mr. Wodehouse says that he has already given this account to Government Officials, but he would like to have the main facts published in TheAlleynian. TncALLtYroAH I am, Sir, Yours, etc. R. T. Rees .BVBL15HED-_A.T DVVWJCH- C OILEQE- PKICC- b".

r'-»r n ir < •>!.> > ■:>. vr > DIM.W1..11. Wodehouse continued to subscribe to TheAlleynian The July 1899 cover of The Alleynian, at the time when P. after the end o f the war, despite living in America. G. Wodehouse was an editor. This was the month of the References to the magazine, some less than complimen­ school concert at which Plum sang “ Hybrias the Cretan." tary, are found in several o f his letters, especially those

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 17 written to McCullough Christison, who was affection­ C h ic a g o 1 9 9 7 ! ately known as 'Slacker5:

Dec 7194-5 Mark your calendars now! Make travel plans early! 36 Boulevard Suchet, Paris

Dear Slacker, Chicago and All That Jazz! Will you note the above address and send The Alleynian to me October 2 to 5,1997 here instead o f to the British consulate. Directly I can get a cheque book I will send you a cheque for the various subscriptions I must owe. The Chicago Accident Syndicate is gadaering its forces, I got the November Alleynian but not the October number, so and plans for big doings are underway. More news I don’t know if there were any comments on the letter I wrote. Did soon! you hear o f any? I hope all my friends at Dulwich found my explanation satisfactory.

March 1,1969 Remsenburg FEW QUICK ONES New York 11960

John Fletcher writes that he was part o f a small group o f Dear Slacker, Wodehousians who gathered one evening in May to hear .. .1 hear OAs are no longer to get the.Alleynian. Not much loss The Thames Singers in concert at the Dulwich Picture in my opinion, for they have ru ined it with all diis art photography Gallery. The second half of the concert quite properly and bad poetry. included a number of songs wida lyrics by Wodehouse. “Bill,55 for one. John notes that “Tony Ring arrived having driven like a mad thing from Scarborough where April 1, 1969 he had been seeing ByJeeves and writing the programme notes for it. He had also briefed the compere at Dulwich so that he made the right announcements about PGW, and for that he and Elaine had to sit in front to collect the Dear Mr. Lloyd, magnum of napoleon brandy which was the society’s I was making my will yesterday, and I chalked up five thousand dollars for the Building Fund, so they will get it all right way of saying 'thank you.5 55 We all have our burdens to eventually. bear. I think die reason I shake my head a bit at the present I printed David Landman’s poem Wode in the last Alleynian is that as an old football reporter it shocks me to see so Plum Lines with half a line missing, making David look litde space given to Rugger. In my day it never took less than two semi-literate at best. Here’s the way the stanza should pages. have appeared: I will certainly dig up something for the anniversary issue.

With best wishes Kowtowing I say, “Ma’am, I’ve no sins for Yours sincerely All the horses o f passion I’ve whoa’d. P. G. Wodehouse But I’m no chevalier for old Windsor The House that I’m preux for is Wode.” Wodehouse’s relationship with TheAUeynicm contin­ ued, and an article he wrote on his time at Dulwich My apologies to David for de-scansioning his poem. appeared in the Summer 1969 issue. Then, in 1975, when Wodehouse died, The Alleynian published an obituary -OM in which he was praised for his 'constant interest in the affairs of the College and the fondness with which he spoke o f his days at Dulwich5; a fitting end to a lifetime’s "Your sermon was a success?" association. "Well, they didn’t rush the pulpit." "You're too modest, Bill Bailey. I'll bet you had them rolling in the aisles and carried out on stretchers." Service with a Smile, 1962

18 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 5ECRET WARTIME P G W PAPERS RELEASED

ong-secret documents released by the British Pub­ some than our own.” The reason Wodehouse is widely read and lic Record Office on September 30, 1996 reveal a loved is the same reason he was excoriated; it is that we live in the Lgreat mass o f official opinions about Wodehouse’s activi­irksome captivity o f a century so earnest it is deadly. ties in the Second World War. They conclude, to put it Let me recommend Iain Sproat’s Wodehouse at W ar as very briefly, that he was not a traitor and was guilty of by far the most detailed, careful presentation of the nothing wose than bad judgment. As far as I can see they whole sad affair of P. G. Wodehouse, the German gov­ add nothing o f importance to the information presented ernment, and the British government in the Second in Iain Sproat’s Wodebouse at W%r (New Haven and New World War. Sproat was, when his book was published in York, 1981), although they do present distasteful displays 1981, a Conservative Member of Parliament for South of high officials who were themselves making very bad Aberdeen, and is now Sports Minister. He proposed a judgments. The whole affair is probably well known to knighthood for Plum in 1972, three years before it was most members of our society, but those unfamiliar with granted, and it is doubtful that he would have been it will find a brief description in ccHow Whitehall tried to allowed access to the secret files in 1980, even after much ban Wodehouse” elsewhere in this issue. effort, if he had been an ordinary citizen. The contents of the official documents make one For the material in this article I am indebted to several wonder why they were ever considered secret. They members in England and America: Pete Barnsley, Pauline contain a great deal of internal government correspon­ Blanc, Donald Daniel, William Hardwick, Alex Hem­ dence about Wodehouse,—official vilifications, official ming, and Helen Murphy. — OM proposals about what to do with him and his writings, and so on, but what all that has to do with the defense o f the realm is a mystery. Sproat thinks the papers may have been classified as secret because another internee, who was released at the same time as PGW , traveled to Berlin with him, and was named in the papers, might have been ■\YHEN WE'RE DRINKING a traitor. The release o f the secret papers received considerable PORT WITH J$EACH attention in the British press, often on the front pages, before and after September 30. The newspaper articles sent to me, covering a broad political spectrum, were By Sue Marra Byham uniformly sympadietic to Wodehouse. It is sad to see that some letters to the editor, responding to the articles, All the world's within our reach still describe Wodehouse as a traitor more than half a When we're drinking port with Beach. century later. An editorial in the English Daily Telegraph Everything is bright and rosy of October 1 perhaps sums up the present feeling best. It In his pantry, safe and cozy. concludes as follows: Bullfinch singing in his cage; The merest drone becomes a sage. Given chat Britain was in peril, and that Hitler’s forces were The merest scheme grows sound and fruity; conquering Europe, apparently inexorably, during 1940 and Why should a policeman do his duty? 1941, die outrage expressed by Wodehouse’s detractors is under­ The law is definitely an ass! standable. But, fifty years on, his fall from grace is best seen as a (Australian uncles too shall pass.) token of this century’s barbarism, from which Wodehouse’s fiction stands delightfully apart. His cardinal error, in this literal An angel as a butler dressed and unforgiving epoch, was to tell mild jokes abut the Nazis; he Shares bottles of the very best. described the narrow enclosure in which he was confined as being Have another snifter, do! “constructed, apparently, by an architect who had seen the Black Beach and port will get us through. Hole o f Calcutta and admired it. . For this, he was to suffer for die rest of his life. It is ironic that he should have been made to pay for a misjudgment arising out of his incarceration, for, as Evelyn Waugh said: “He will continue to release future generations from captivity that may be more irk­

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 19 JJOW W HTrEHALL TRIED TO BAN W °DEHOUSE by David Millward and Nell Tweedie

Pete Barnsley, Wilfrid de Freitas, William Hardwick, and here, though in itself innocuous, there will be a wide­ Helen Murphy found this article in the English Daily Telegraph spread feeling that there was a dangerous laxity of atti­ of January 3,1996. tude in the authorities, and an indifference to popular feeling.’ lans to ban the work o f P G Wodehouse because of A draft order, under die Defence of the Realm Act, Phis wartime broadcasts from Germany have emerged was produced forbidding anyone to publish or distribute in Whitehall files opened yesterday under the 50-year anything he produced after he left Britain, but lawyers rule. suggested it could not be sustained in court. The papers, made available at the Public Record Of­ The Home Office concluded on Jan 27,1942: “How­ fice in Kew, show how die Government was ready to ever desirable it may be to prevent Mr Wodehouse or his silence a man regarded as the most English of writers. publishers from making more money, we diink it is Wodehouse, who was living as a tax exile in France, impossible to hold that a prohibition on the publication was interned by the Germans in 1940. After an initial of his new novel or any future novels is necessary in the spell at [an internment] camp, he and his wife, Ediel, interest of the defence o f the realm or the efficient were put up at the Hotel Adlon in Berlin and later at the prosecution of the war.” equally opulent Hotel Bristol in Paris. A variety of alternative routes was considered, includ­ In return, during the summer o f 1941, he broadcast ing banning the books because of the wartime paper from Berlin to then neutral America on several occasions, shortage: The Board of Trade suggested that the work in addition to writing short stories diat were carried in could be stopped on the grounds that publishing the French fascist magazines. His behaviour caused uproar books would be “trading with the enemy.” The novel, in Britain. which was published by Doubleday Doran in New York, The broadcasts, however, were not virulently pro- was finally printed in Britain in 1946. German but whimsical descriptions of his internment One admirer, Lt-Col Norman Murphy, said yesterday intended merely to entertain his American audience. that the author had been “set up” by Baron Eric yon But the author’s wry portrayal of German captivity Barnekow, a friend from pre-war days, who persuaded went down badly in Britain, especially with the families him to take part in die broadcasts. of prisoners of war. “Wodehouse was one o f die most patriotic English­ The Daily Express dubbed him Herr Wodehouse and men there has been. He recorded the broadcasts after Whitehall’s anger at his behaviour punctuates the yel­ being asked by his fellow prisoners, who found them very lowing files that show how several Government depart­ funny. One has to remember that Wodehouse was a ments tried to devise a ban on the publication o f any new prisoner—he didn’t know about the war.” work. Wodehouse was arrested as a German collaborator The issue was raised after die offending broadcasts by A after the liberation o f Paris in 1944 but was finally P Watt & Son, Wodehouse’s literary agents, who wanted released in January 1945 and moved to [America] in 1947. to publish a next novel, Money in the Bank, and an article His rehabilitation was completed on January 1, 1975 *My Year behind Barbed Wire/ when he was knighted. He died [six weeks] later, aged The manuscript forMoney in the Bank had been brought [93]. out of Germany by Stephen Laird, the Berlin correspon­ dent for the magazines Tim e and L ife. But the book, which concerned die musings of Lord Corrections: Wodehouse did not make the broadcasts Uffenham, was given a hostile reception in Whitehall. “ in return” for his release from internment or his housing C. J. Radcliflfc of the Ministry of Information wrote in luxury hotels, as the audior implies. He was released on Sept 26,1941: ‘Neidier of these ought to be published because of age and lived in the hotels at his own expense. in this country if it can be legitimately prevented. I quite He made the broadcasts to his American fans who had appreciate that there will be American publication in one written to him in his internment, as his only means of form or another and that Wodehouse’s existing books assuring them that he was all right. Internees were al­ are being sold without interference in this country. lowed to write only to their families. Tf he is to be allowed to produce a new publication -OM

20 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 ^JR J^JUIUNERAND HIS RELATIVES

By Robert Creamer

As far as I know the following article is the first serious analysis George the doctor, Archibald, Ignatius, Osbert, Adrian, o f the genealogy o f Mr. Mulliner’s very extended family. I Sacheverell, Eustace, Egbert the editor, Cyril, think Bob Creamer has some surprises for us. The second and Bulstrode, Mordred, Brancepeth, Augustus, last part o f the article will appear in the next Plum Lines. — OM Theophilus, Reginald, George the twin, George’s twin brother Alfred, and an unnamed Argentinian); 8 first wouldn’t be surprised to learn that an analysis o f Mr. cousins (John San Francisco Earthquake, Clarence, Mulliner’s relatives has been done before. And better. I Cedric, Lady Wickham, Lady Wickham’s daughter’s But as I haven’t seen such a work I offer this attempt to aunt Marcia, Edward, Rupert, and Egbert the obese), tie together the loose twigs from Mr. Mulliner’s family 5 first cousins, once removed (Roberta Wickham, tree. Roberta’s aunt Marcia’s son Wilfred, Lancelot the cat Some ground rules: sitter, Mervyn, and Anselm), 1 second cousin (un­ Because of Mr Mulliner’s high regard for the truth, I named and divorced), 4 distant cousins (James Rod- take his delineation o f relationships at face value. “All the man, Agnes Flack’s mother, Agnes Flack and Montrose Mulliners,” he said, “ loved the truth and hated any form Mulliner), and 1 distant connection (Wilmot Mulli­ of deception.” I assume that when Mr. Mulliner says ner). “nephew” he doesn’t mean a vague relation. He means Here’s a dossier on the Mulliners along with their the child o f one o f his siblings. Similarly, when he says relationships to the Sage o f The Anglers’ Rest, appar­ “cousin” he means “first cousin,” the child of one of his ent or surmised, and the stories in which they appear. parents’ siblings. “M U LLIN ER” in all capital letters means that Mr. That these narrow definitions are justified is evi­ Mullliner, the narrator, uses the surname Mulliner in denced by Mr. Mulliner’s use of “cousin.” Casual speak­ referring to the character and we thus have a positive ers may apply the term to amorphous relationships, but ID. “Mulliner” with only the initial M capitalized Mr. Mulliner’s language is precise (“I trust that this means the name is not stated in the stories but is revelation will prove sedative,” he says in “Strychnine in obviously Mulliner (Mr. Mulliner’s brothers, for ex­ the Soup” ) and he does not use it carelessly. At various ample). “Mulliner (?)” means the name is possible but times he refers to “my cousin,” “my cousin Clarence,” cannot be verified in the text. A question (?) after a “my cousin Rupert’s son,” “a young second cousin of relationship indicates a beautifully worked out as­ mine,” “a distant cousin of mine,” “the daughter of a sumption on my part, one that is possible but which distant cousin of mine,” and “a distant connection of can be verified only by tortuous reasoning. A dash (-) mine.” The distinctions are clear. When Mr. Mulliner means a name is not available. The stories are listed says cousin he doesn’t mean any old cousin. He means here in the order o f their appearance in The World of first cousin. And when he says nephew he means nephew. Mr. Mulliner. Period. The child o f a cousin is thus a “ first cousin, once removed.” Mr. Mulliner doesn’t use this term, but I do. Here we go: In the 42 Mulliner stories Mr. Mulliner mentions 56 people who are blood relatives o f his or who, by a stretch The Truth About George of the imagination (my stretch, which may be chal­ 1. MR. M ULLIN ER, himself. lenged) can be assumed to be blood relatives. By my A fisherman. Has never told a lie in his life. reckoning they include 1 ancestor (the Sieur de 2. GEO RGE M U LLIN ER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. Moulinieres), 1 uncle (William), 1 aunt (Serena), 6 broth­ Stammers. Lives in village of East Wobsley, where ers (Wilfred, Joseph, Sholto, and three who are un­ he was born. Noted for speed of foot. Will marry Susan named), 2 sisters (his nephew Adrian’s Aunt Elizabeth, Blake of East Wobsley. Does not work, but his late and his nephew Eustace’s Aunt Georgiana Beazley- father: Beazley), 1 niece (Charlotte), 25 nephews (George the 3 . ----Mulliner, Mr. Mulliner’s brother, left him with stammerer, Percival, Ferdinand, Augustine, Augustine’s a comfortable income. unnamed little brother, Lancelot the poet, Frederick,

Plum Lines Autumn 1996 21 A Slice of Life world traveler. His eldest son is: 4. W ILFRED M ULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s brother. 12. J.S.FE. (JOHN SAN FRANCISCO EARTH­ Dark hair. Clean cut. The “clever one of the family,” a QUAKE) MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s first cousin. chemist and creator of Mulliner’s Magic Marvels, includ­ ing Snow of the Mountain Lotion, Raven Gipsy Face Note: William Mulliner was Mr. Mulliner’s father’s Cream, Buck-U-Uppo and many other preparations. brother. Since J.S.F.E. Mulliner, was the “eldest” son, Club: Senior Test-Tubes. Married Angela Perdue, ward there had to be other children, possibly several. More on of Sir Jasper ffinch-ffarowmere of ffinch Hall, Yorkshire. this later. Two sons: 5. The small, or PERCIVAL Mulliner, Mr. Mulliner’s Portrait o f a Disciplinarian nephew. 13. F R E D E R IC K M U LLLN E R , Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. 6. The large, or FERDINAND Mulliner, Mr. Mulliner’s Doesn’t like boiled eggs. Will marry Jane Oliphant. nephew. His brother is: 14. D R GEORGE MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew Mulliner’s Buck-U-Uppo (the second named George) whose consulting room is 7.AUGUSTINE M ULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. in Bingley-on-Sea. Flaxen hair, weak blue eyes and (before taking Buck- U-Uppo) the general demeanor of a saintly but timid The Romance o f a Bulb-Squeezer cod-fish. Curate at Lower Briskett-in-the-Midden under 15. CLARENCE MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s first the vicar, later his father-in-law, die Rev. Stanley Bran­ cousin. don . Augustine is later secretary to die Bishop ofStortford, Photographer. Member Amalgamated Bulb-Squeez­ later still vicar o f Steeple-Mummery, Hants and later still ers and could be dieir next president. Whispered he’ll be (“Gala Night”) vicar of Walsingford-below-Chiveney- on next Birthday Honours List. Half Scotch on his on-Thames. mother’s side. A man o f volcanic passions. Fiery temper. He is a favorite of his Aunt Angela Mulliner, nee Sued by Jno. Horatio Biggs, newly elected mayor of Perdue, wife of Mr. Mulliner’s brodier Wilfred, who Tooting East, for prodding him (Biggs) out o f window sends him Buck-U-Uppo. Married Jane Brandon, daugh­ with sharp end o f tripod. Married Gladys Biggs, daugh­ ter of Rev. Stanley Brandon. She later had die mumps ter of Jno. Horatio Biggs. The couple left the church (“Gala Night”). under an arch of crossed tripods.

The Bishop’s Move Note: Clarence may be one o f William’s sons, a younger Augustine Mulliner again, and his younger brodier: brother of J.S.F.E. 8 . ------Mulliner., Mr. Mulliner’s nephew, who is a student at Harchester. Face resembles a ripe tomato. Is a Honeysuckle Cottage professional liar (fee £2). 16. JAMES RODMAN, Mr. Mulliner’s distant cousin. Mystery story writer. Bachelor. Londoner. Nephew Came The Dawn of Miss Leila J. Pinckney of Honeysuckle Cottage, die 9. LANCELOT MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. sentimental novelist. Did not marry Rose Maynard. Recently come down from Oxford. Is 24 and a poet since shortly after his 22nd birdiday. Pen name: L. The Reverent Wooing of Archibald Bassington Mulliner. Writes threnodies. Sent to Oxford 17. ARCHIBALD MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. by Jeremiah Briggs ofVilla Chutney, Putney, an uncle on Exceptionally pinheaded. Mental age of nine. Had his his mother’s side, proprietor of Briggs’s Breakfast Pick­ brain been silk, not enough material to make cami- les. Loves and loses Angela, daughter of die Earl of knickers for a canary. Superannuated from Eton. Feels it Biddlecombe, of Berkeley Square. Chucks poetry and was decent of Bacon to write Shakespeare’s plays for him, pickles to became a movie actor in Hollywood. Proud of: although it may have been because Bacon owed 10. S IE U R D E M O U LIN IE R E S, Mr. Mulliner’s ances­ Shakespeare money. Has a man, Meadowes. Club: tor, who came over with the Conqueror. Drones. Skilled at imitating a hen laying an egg. Loves Aurelia Cammarleigh. The Story of William 11. W ILLIA M M U L L IN E R , Mr. Mulliner’s uncle. The Man Who Gave Up Smoking Promised his mother he would not drink until he was 18. IGNATIUS MU LLIN ER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. 21, or 4 1—he could never remember which. Tea exporter, Artist, portrait painter. Makes a comfortable living.

22 Plum Lines Autumn 1996 Enjoys smoking but gives it up, temporarily. Will marry 24. AGNES FLACK, Mr. Mulliner’s even more distant Hermione Rossiter, of Scantlebury Square, Kensington, cousin. sister o f George and Cyprian Rossiter, both subhuman. Scratch golfer. 5' 10" in her stockings. Shoulders and arms the envy of vaudeville strong women, eye like one The Story o f Cedric of more imperious queens of history, laugh that causes 19. CEDRIC M ULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s first cousin. strong men to clutch their temples. Has the appearance 45 and fat, with 45-inch waisdine. Lives in London of one who is about to play Boadicea in a pageant. Loves in comfortable rooms at the Albany. Lunches at home of Sidney McMurdo, who weighs 210 pounds, is also a Lord Knubble of Knopp in Grosvenor Square. Neat, scratch golfer and was once a semi-finalist in the Amateur trim, fussy, precise. A snob. One of six registered bores championship. at his club. M r Mulliner is not fond o f him. Something Squishv An established authority on the subject of dress (the 25. LADY WICKHAM, Mr Mulliner’s first cousin. second son of a Marquis once sought his advice). Ru­ Novelist. Pen name: George Masterman. Lives at mored to be writing his Memoirs or a monumental Skeldings Hall, Hertfordshire (milk train leaving at 3:15 history of Spats. Impeccably dressed, except for yellow a.m. gets you into London at 6:45). Her daughter is: shoes. Will marry his secretary, Myrtle Wading, of 7, 26. R O B ER T A (BO BBIE) W ICK H A M , M r Mulliner’s Nasturtium Villas, Marigold Road, Valley Fields. first cousin, once removed. Remarkably beautiful, glorious red hair, hazel eyes. Looks sensational in a green The Ordeal of Osbert Mulliner negligee. Walks springily. Drives too fast. Likes snakes. 2 0 . -----Mulliner? Mr. Mulliner’s young second cousin, male. Married 11 months, filed for divorce because Note. The text says Lady Wickham is Mr. Mulliner’s his wife would open her eyes to their fullest extent, put cousin but does not indicate whether she is from Mr. her head to one side like a canary, and say, “What?” Mulliner’s father’s side o f the family or from his mother’s 21. OSBERT MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew. (or non-Mulliner) side. She co u ld be one or the other. Lives in South Audley Street, London. Pampered by You could toss a coin to decide—a florin, perhaps. Fortune since birth. Some skill at contract bridge. Has a To settle diis and other iffy questions, I have promul­ man, Parker, who is five feet five in his socks. Collects old gated Creamer’s Law of the Flipped Florin. In such even- jade. Club: United Jade Collectors. Has a reputation as money, yes-or-no, one-way-or-the-other matters, die a brawler, unjustified. Will marry Mabel Petherick- florin, once tossed in the air, shall always come down, Soames (niece of Major General Sir Masterman Petiierick- purely by chance, on the Mulliner side. Soames), who had been courted by J. Bashford Braddock, (I will brook no argument about the validity of this the explorer. procedure, for the simple reason that I have no defense.) The florin is flipped and, lo, Lady Wickham is a Unpleasantness at Bludleigh Court Mulliner by blood. And since her Mulliner parent (flip it 22. C H A R LO T T E M U L L IN E R , Mr. Mulliner’s niece. again) turns out to a paternal uncle of Mr. Mulliner’s Poet. Ample private income. Inconsistent loather of rather than a paternal aunt, her maiden name was Mulli­ blood sports but an excellent shot, nonetheless. Loves ner. and will marry Aubrey Bassinger (pen name Aubrey Lady Wickham may be another of Uncle William’s Trefusis), younger brother of Reginald Bassinger, older many children. brother of Wilfred Bassinger, son of Sir Alexander and Lady Bassinger, nephew of Colonel Sir Francis Pashley The Awful Gladness of the Mater Drake, the big-game hunter, all in residence at Bludleigh Lady Wickham again, her eye a combination of gimlet Manor, Lesser Bludleigh, Goresby-on-the-Ouse, and X ray, her chin reminiscent of a battleship going into Bedfordshire (Telephone 28 Goresby). action. Roberta Wickham again. Tends to be late. Note: The Bishop of Stortford, Augustine Mulliner’s benefactor, is a guest at Bludleigh Manor. The connec­ The Passing of Ambrose tion suggests that Charlotte may be Augustine’s sister. Lady Wickham again. Roberta Wickham again, and Roberta’s aunt: Those in Peril at the Tee 27. MARCIA Mulliner(?)------, Mr Mulliner’s first 2 3 . ---- Mulliner(?) FLACK, Mr. Mulliner’s distant cousin (?) cousin, a Devonshire Mulliner and mother of: Lives in Eaton Square and has a son:

Plum Lines Autum n 1996 23 28. W IL F R E D ----- ,Mr. Mulliner’s first cousin once 30. E L IZ A B E T H Mulliner ( ? ) ------, Mr. Mulliner’s removed(?) sister(?).

N ote: We use the Florin Law here, too. Bobbie Wickham’s N ote: Adrian’s aunt is his aunt, not his great-aunt, and is aunt Marcia could be either Bobbie’s father’s sister or her therefore the sister of either Adrian’s father, who is one mother’s sister. Flip the florin. Marcia is LadyWickham’s of Mr. Mulliner’s brothers, or of his mother. It was but sister and, like Lady Wickham, Mr. Mulliner’s first cousin the work of a moment for the Florin Law to determine and a Mulliner by birth. Her son Wilfred is thus Mr. diat Aunt Elizabeth is on the paternal side and that she is Mulliner’s first cousin once removed. How nicely these a sister of Mr. Mulliner. things work out. The Story o f Webster The Smile That Wins 31. LANCELOT MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s first 29. ADRIAN MULLINER, Mr. Mulliner’s nephew cousin, once removed, the second Mulliner relative Detective. Came down from Oxford. Member of firm named Lancelot (the other is Mr. Mulliner’s nephew ofWidgery and Boon, Investigators, ofAlbemarle Street. Lancelot, the poet turned Hollywood actor). He is die Not as amply remunerated as he could wish, but the firm son of: hints at a rise next Christmas. 32. EDWARD Mulliner, Mr. Mulliner’s cousin, now Dark and thin, has dyspepsia, wears an air of inscru­ dead. table melancholy. Smiles with difficulty. Result is like the Lancelot, 25, is an artist, engaged to Gladys Bingley, Mona Lisa’s: underlying note o f the sardonic and the the vers libre poet. A comely youth, orphaned early, raised sinister, virtually a leer, conveying suggestion he knows by his uncle Theodore, vicar of St. Botolph’s in all. Club: Senior Bloodstain (in Rupert Street). Knightsbridge, later Dean of Bolsover, later Bishop of Will marry Lady Millicent Shipton-Bellinger of 18a, Bongo-Bongo in West Africa, owner of the cat Webster. UpperBrookStreet, a radiantblonde and younger daugh­ ter of Reginald Alexander Montacute James Bramfylde Note. Creamer’s Law does not apply here. I cannot Tregennis Shipton-Bellinger, fifdi Earl of Brangbolton. establish that Uncle Theodore is Lancelot’s father’s Has an aunt: brother and thus a Mulliner. See “Cats Will Be Cats,” below. [Next issue! —OM]

(CONTENTS yOLUNTEER OFFICERS------

Betting on Bertie is a sure bet! 1 Information and new memberships “She cheesed the rabbit theme.” 3 Marilyn MacGregor “ Dumb-Bells in the Badi” 4 3215-5 Bermuda Avenue Turf notes 4 Davis CA 95616 Indian Wodehouse Society forms 4 Discovering the heroic in Wodehouse 5 Dues payments and address changes Plum to Peter> a new book o f PGW letters 6 Tom Wainwright PGW and “Those heartless, hapless drones” 8 220 Grover Lane The Drones visit Le Touquet 10 Walnut Creek CA 94596 Sterling Wodehouse Nazario 11 New members 12 Contributions to Plum Lines Wodehouse on television 14 Ed Ratcliffe, OM Elin Woodger, AD Something new 15 538 San Lorenzo Avenue *35 Elm Street Wodehouse and The Alleynian 16 Felton CA 95018 Everett M A 02149 Chicago 1997! 18 A few quick ones 18 Dues are $15 per year. Secret wartime PGW papers released 19 When Weyre Drinking Port with Beach 19 All quotations from P. G. Wodehouse are reprinted by How Whitehall tried to ban Wodehouse 20 permission of the Copyright Owner, die Trustees of the M r Mulliner and his relatives 21 WodehouseEstate.

24 Plum Lines Autumn 1996