Wtinitp Cripoir DECEMBER 10, 2002 VOL. CI NO. 11 PUBLISHED BY THE STUDENTS OF TRINITY COLLEGE SINCE 1904 SGA Polls Students Walking in a Winter Wonderland Opinions on Hersh, College Progression EILEEN FLYNN ______feelings would have upon their willingness to be active alumni. NEWS EDITOR The survey consisted of six The Student Government questions, all of which were char- Association (SGA) conducted a acterized as "very abstract" in the telephone survey of on-campus release by Jake Schneider '04, students to gauge their opinion of chair of the ERC. The questions the College, its administration were all true-false answers, which and their possible future involve- allows for easier statistical analy- ment with the College. Further, sis, but does not leave room for %•- ; >k, i- the survey compared the respons- explanations of what the respon- es to the areas above to the will- dent was thinking when he ingness of those polled to pro- answered the question. For mote the school to prospective instance, in Question #2, "I am students. The Elections, confident that our administrators are looking out for our best inter- Recruitment and ests," the definition of adminis- trators is not made clear. Therefore, a student, when responding to the above question, ABI MOLDOVCR could be referring to Sharon Snow blankets Trinity in preparation for exam week. Herzberger, or to Darrell Claiborne, and his answer could vary depending upon whom he was referring to. The results are subject to a seven percent variance due to the number of students polled. Three Trinity Community Observes hundred students were randomly selected through a computer pro- Q3:1 support President gram. However, only one hun- Hersh and his initiatives. dred forty-four students were World AIDS Day on Tuesday Communications (ERC) commit- actually reached, but since all the &n help EILEE! those who are dealing with it in interpreted the poll. the sampling of the campus prepared by SUSHI. This infor- NEWS EDITOR their lives. The main concern of those remains as accurate. mation was also available at the The focus of this year's conducting the poll was the nega- The third question relates On Tuesday, December 3, the table in Mather. The numbers are World AIDS Day was the stigma tive feelings on campus that stu- specifically to President Hersh Trinity community became aware staggering: forty million people attached to those with AIDS, or dents spoke about. SGA wished and student reaction to his initia- of a global epidemic that takes the live with HIV/AIDS. Ninety-five who are HIV positive. Across the to discover if this was the prevail- tives. The reaction was over- lives of 8200 people each day: percent of them live in develop- world AIDS education came to ing sentiment on campus or mere- whelmingly negative, but as Acquired Immune Deficiency ing countries. Of these only ten the forefront, making it an issue ly that of the more vocal students. Schneider pointed out in his Syndrome (AIDS). Through the percent are able to get access to that governments are forced to SGA was especially interested in report "During the period polled, combined efforts of the Women's antiretroviral life extending deal with. the effect the student's negative see SGA on page 5 Center, Students Uniting drugs. Scientific and Humanitarian Focusing more on the local Jason Gallant of SUSHI said, Interests (SUSHI) and Trinity's war with AIDS, the number of "Each AIDS day- gets bigger and Chapter of the American Medical Hartford residents living with more in your face, and people are Rumors Abound About experiencing the same thing Student Association (AMSA) AIDS has doubled since 1992. worldwide that we experienced at Trinity had the opportunity to This is in contrast to the declining Trinity: people care and people learn more about this world-wide pattern of new AIDS cases report- are ready to listen. The Federal Gas Leak and Murder concern. ed nationally in the past two Government came the closest it AIDS is the terms applied to years. has come in years to passing leg- straight. the most advanced stage of a World AIDS Day works to CHRIS BAKER islation that would really commit Last Monday Trinity students inform the public about an issue NEWS EDITOR Human Immunodeficiency Virus the United States to actually mak- were shocked and concerned that is often viewed as incurable (HIV) infection. HIV infections ing a difference, and it's aware- about reports of a woman being and unstoppable. The AIDS epi- Any community as small as are transferred through unprotect- ness raising and some good old- demic can be stalled by greater Trinity is bound to have an active murdered on Zion St., virtually a ed sex, sharing needles, and blood fashioned advocacy that is going AIDS education and an under- and thriving rumor mill, as many stone's throw from the campus transfusions. The danger for K h *lp that these people a person walking home at 5 in the quad, 21-year-old Elizabeth infected persons is in being •>t ndnu o tin- Jiv. is \ 'i^ morning is bound to have found Garcia was strangled to death in exposed to opportunistic infec- out. her apartment. tions, such as pneumonia, which Early last1 week saw the Police have said that this was can have fatal consequences. beginning of a rumor about a a domestic situation and that there As a part of the effort to raise murder that took place on Zion was little danger to the general awareness students could have St., while only this morning stu- public, although they have not their picture taken in Mather to be dents began hearing about a gas arrested anyone in connection assembled in the shape of an leak in Mather hall. Have no fear, with the crime. AIDS ribbon and placed on a the Tripod is here to set the record see MATHER on page 5 quilt panel in Washington, DC in April 2003. Hanging above the table was INSIDE THIS WEEK'S a visual display consisting of 8200 hand-made AIDS ribbons, one for each death from AIDS Having sex with your parents Psi U Winter Formal, is it a use- that day. The Women's Center and Nate Baker takes on the less, drunken meat market, or a sponsored a speaker for AIDS Writing Center this week in totally worthwhile one? Find Project Hartford to give a talk Opinions P- 3 out in Features P- 13 entitled "All the questions about HIV/AIDS you wanted to know For reviews of Guns 'n Roses News but were afraid to ask." and their opening acts, a John Opinions Over fifteen faculty members 13 Mayer concert, an inside view Features. worked with SUSHI to coordi- of Trinity's Lessons and Carols, Aits nate mini teach-ins. Five minutes JONATHAN CHeSNeV and the directing projects, see Announcements page 17 a e2 were taken from class time to Arts P-8 Sports P « ° have a discussion about the AIDS Member of SUSHI pose before the AIDS ribbons. PAGE 2 OPINIONS THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 TO) TMIE B&G Nice Guys, McCook Kittens Saved To the Editor: apology to the Buildings and Grounds workers, whom I called During my four-hour stake- kitten-killers. out three weeks ago, in an unsuc- Only some of the B&G work- cessful attempt to capture and ers advocate killing kittens, and Kristin B. Powell '03 Edna D. Gucrrasio '05 save the kittens living outside of the others from the department EDITOR-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITOR McCook, I encountered two men are actually quite nice. I am truly from Buildings and Grounds and sorry for my overgeneralization. realized that my previous article And on a happier note, an NEWS EDITORS OPINIONS EDITORS in the Tripod had been too harsh employee of Trinity College is in Christopher Baker '03 Eileen Flynn '05 Alexander Gordon '05 Rebecca Fowler '05 and biased. the process of rescuing the kittens These two men from B&G and taking them into her home. were actually quite understanding So the kitties are saved, after all. FEATURES EDITORS ARTS EDITORS and helpful, and wished me luck Happy Holidays! Eliza Sayward '05 Joe Stramondo '04 Brian P. Nanos 'OS Pat Marinaro '03 with my quest to save the kitties. So I felt compelled to write an Lisa Castignetti '06 SPORTS EDITOR ANNOUNCEMENT EDITOR Eamonn Brown '05 Shane Early '03 Daniel Scollan '05 Destruction of Art Sends a Poor Message To the Editor: waste at the hands of someone PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR PRODUCTION MANAGER Robert Leitzell '06 coming back from late night. Jonathan Chesney '05 Strewn about the damp We wonder why the adminis- ground on November 24 were tration won't treat us like adults, ONLINE EDITORS fragments of a sculpture recently but when students do stupid and Chris Silvertnan '03, Matt Barison '04, Jim Nadzieja '04, placed in the Elton/Jones court- disrespectful things like smashing Jimmy Sethna '04 yard. other people's artwork, I can only I am distressed to be part of a be thankful for the freedoms we COPY EDITORS community where a piece of art are still allowed. If we want to be Erika Lo '03 cannot last a week out in the open respected as the adults that we before being broken into pieces. I are, the least we can do is show can only imagine how the sculp- respect for our fellow classmates. SENIOR EDITORS tor must feei after putting in many Abigail Thomas '03, Lissy Woodhams '03 hours of work only for it to go to Beth Harris '05 Trinity Papers Showcase Student Works To the Students of Trinity exceed twenty-five double spaced College: pages. Each author may submit up to three pieces of work, but To further the recognition of only one could be published. The academic excellence at Trinity, editors many require revision the President's Fellows will be before publication. Each submis- publishing a twenty-second edi- sion will be reviewed by the tion of The Trinity Papers - an Editorial Board, which has been We've really reached the home stretch. Some of us thought it would never annual journal of outstanding drawn from the President's come. Yet here we are, with at most one week left of stuff to do. undergraduate scholarship. Fellows of this year. Assistance For many of us, dare I say most of us, it is a week of hell. Fifteen and The Trinity Papers will and opinions from faculty mem- twenty page papers, eight-hour finals. Xwhv. isn't there some sort of rule include a wide variety of excep- bers, administrators, and other against that"?), studying lor e&mrtH^aif&fwwhg «1V that work we really should tional work from currently students may be sought by the have a month or two ago. I foresee lots of complaining and not much sleep- cnrullcil undeiiii.idiules Cdiloii.il ISOLML], howe\ei, hn.il ing. Students eligible to submit vwiiks decisions eue made by the bo.ud But in one week, just think how accomplished we'll all feel.' You can include any Trinity undergradu- and ail decisions arc final. already start looking forward to that present you're going to buy yourself or ates, visiting students, and IDP When you submit your the dinner you're going to treat yourself to. And then, freedom, students. paper(s) lo Dean Spencer's office, An entire month to ao whatever we want. This time we actually get a lit- The submitted papers must your piece will be made anony- tle rest and relaxation. I urge all of you to take advantage of it to the fullest. have been written during the stu- mous and given an identification Go skiing (or if you're one of those people from a warm place, play golf), dents' time at Trinity. The number. By doing this, all per- sleep in, read a book for fun, eat some homemade food, catch up with old Editorial Board will accept stu- sonal bias of any editor will be friends; just take it easy. dent essays, term papers, and removed. Once the final papers I also strongly recommend taking part in the spirit of the holiday season. reports - as well as creative works have been chosen, Dean Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or no holiday at all, and scientific research docu- Spencer's office will reveal the there is something to be said for the feeling that comes with this time of year. ments. authors of the admitted papers. Last night there were people braying the cold to go caroling. It is a season Additionally, the Board will We thank you and hope you of giving and of sharing time with loved ones. This winter, it is a time to consider artwork and photo- will consider submitting a suit- leave behind all of our sufferings from this semester. graphs. able work from your college We've debated drinking and free speech. We've complained about secu- The deadline for submission career here at Trinity. We wish rity on campus and our new administration's lack of respect for its students. is January 27, 2003. Papers you the best for the remainder of And now, for one sweet month, it all goes away. should be submitted to Dean J. the semester. So as you, all of my fellow students, sit there in Mather or the Cave read- Ronald Spencer's office, ing this, just bask in the thought of being home. And comfortable. It's cer- Williams 232, by the deadline. Editorial Board tainly what I'm thinking about as I sit here in the basement of Jackson writ- Submissions should not The Trinity Papers, ing this. To those of you who had a good semester academically, good job. You should proud. To those of you who didn't do so well, there s always next semester. Bad semesters happen to everyone - this comes from a voice of PT is not a happy camper. What is it about the cold and finals experience. Putting on my Tvlystical Bob shoes, I see a lot of promise in stress that makes PT so horny? And it's not like PT can be sus- Spring of 2003. I get the feeling that this semester was rough on everyone, tained throughout PT's sexual hibernation by thoughts of past and there is nothing but room for improvement. ass getting PT just doesn't get any. Ever. PT wants Dick dammit! So go home, forget about President Hersh, forget about classes for a And by "Dick" PT doesn't mean penis; PT is so repressed that PT month. Get refreshed, and come back prepared, rou've all earned this actually fantasizes about President Hersh. In class... in the show- break. Enjoy it, and I'll see you in January. er... in the common room after PT's roommates have gone to bed... It's afi that morality talk. It,makes PT hot. How else do you The Trinity Tripod is published every Tuesday, excluding vacations, by the students of Trinity think he even got a 16.5% approval rating? College in Hartford, Connecticut Finals PT relishes the chance to express the culmi- The Tripod office is located in the basement of Jackson Dormitory. y nation of.a semester's work in 2 hours. Yet Address all correspondences to: The Trinity Tripod, Trinity College #702582, PT really doesn't need 2 hours to culminate... 300 Summit Street; Hartford, CT 06106-3100 VisitoT3rwebsiteatwww.trirdtytripod.com Senior PT wishes PT could have been around for the Subscribe to the Tripod: $20 for 11 issues (1 semester), $35 for 22 issues (1 year). Snowball i making out and the beer. Even that ugly sen- Bditor-In-Chicf Business Office PAX * ior hooked up. You know who. Beer goggles (860)297-2583 (860)297-2584 (860)297-5361 are God's gift to the unattractive.

Letters to the Trinity Tripod must be received by 5.-0D I'M on the Friday before publication. Letters should Forrnals ' PT really wanted to be invited to 1 of the 37 be addressed to the Editor, not a particular individual. No unsigned or anonymous letters will be published. ± super cool, exclusive formals, but alas. PT Elowever, names will be withheld at the author's request. The Tripod will not publish any letters deemed by * supposes that the frats have not been amused the editors to be an attack on an individual's character or personality. Otherwise, all opinions expressed will by PT's jabs... PT has ho idea why they would be given a forum. be offended- (hint: see below for the answer). All letters arc sole responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the Tripod. The editors of the Tripod reserve the right to edit all letters for clarity or brevity. Snow , . Since last winter was so mild, when PT saw all Letters may be submitted via: f T the white stuff on the ground, PT just assumed Campus Mail Hox 702582 E-Mail: [email protected] : that the Hall brothers got a little carried away. DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD OPINIONS PAGE 3 Sexual Assault Issue Returns An Intern Makes a Subject Not Oversimplified, Evidence of Attacks Still Lacking NATE BAKER rules as provided by writing cen- ing on a tidbit at the end. Difference in D.C. OPINIONS WRITER ters are secondary to the defini- I gave pause at Adams' insin- tions and rules understood by the uation that I am "ignorant" of the A couple Tripods ago I said common people. issue of sexual assault. And by Summer Work on Immigration Concerns that the writings of certain Trinity What this means, in turn, is the way, though Adams consis- RUTE PlNHEL includes many provisions that graduates reflected a new low in that when there is a conflict tently criticized my love for the significantly affect American the quality of school alumni. Last between how most people inter- dictionary (unlike my friends, it HUMAN RIGHTS families, legal immigrants and week we had a new winner. pret a word and how the diction- never judges me), I urge her to PROGRAM WRITER others seeking to enter the United Our winner is Kate Adams ary defines it, the people are right consider using one, since she While it may seem trite and States legally. Under the 1996 '00, Visiting Lecturer, Allan K. (Power to the People!). sadly gave an incorrect definition terribly idealistic to say that I laws, legal immigrants routinely of ignorant. She claimed that "it want to make a difference in the are detained without bond, is characterized by an inability to world, it is nevertheless one of deported without consideration ...when there is a conflict between how understand complex issues." my ultimate goals. for discretionary relief, restricted However, the dictionary defi- Perhaps that is why 1 felt in their access to counsel, and most people interpret a word and how the nition (c'mon; how could I not drawn to the Human Rights barred from appealing to the dictionary defines it, the people are right. look it up?) asserts that "igno- Summer Fellowship Program. It courts. rant" is characterized as "destitute offered an excellent opportunity Low-level immigration offi- of knowledge or education" or to work with professional "do- cials act as judge and jury, and the Smith Center for Writing and On the other hand, the reason "resulting from or showing lack Rhetoric (as she was quick to we have a dictionary is to define of knowledge." There's nothing advertise), who in a response to words. It serves as a reference for about "complex issues" or / was introduced to... human rights my article on the reality or rumor such debates as this one, where I "inabilities" in it. abuses that occur at the hands of the U.S. of sexual assault at Trinity rather can point to an actual source as to At any rate, I found Adams' adamantly felt it necessary to what "rumor" means, while insinuation highly ironic (not in government against immigrants... attack me without bothering to Adams can only say she thinks it the dictionary sense of irony - answer the simple question posed means something different to her. "the use of words to express (I sense insecurities resulting I hope when she lectures she uses something other than and espe- gooders"... otherwise known as federal courts lack the power to from penis envy). actual sources. cially the opposite of the literal human rights lawyers and advo- review most deportation deci- First off, something needs to In addition, I would urge meaning" - but rather the com- cates. sions and INS activities. These be said about Adams' attack on everyone to make sure they truly mon usage). These individuals work very laws are being applied retroac- my perhaps excessively stringent know what a word means before I agree with her that I am hard for little pay because they tively. As a result, many immi- use of the dictionary. She went so are moved by the strength of their grants have been expelled from far as to write that my liberal edu- convictions. Being labeled ideal- their adoptive country for one- cation failed me when I was ...everyone is ignorant of this issue, ists in a society that praises real- time offenses and youthful indis- unable to reconcile the differ- ism does not discourage them. cretions that may have occurred ences between the dictionary def- because there is no knowledge to be had Their job is to make a difference many years ago. inition of rumor ("a statement on this issue [of sexual assault]. in the world. It is true that the Constitution without knowing authority for its My own experiences during does not give foreigners the right truth") and the common usage of my summer internship in 2001 to enter the U.S. But once here, it rumor (essentially "gossip"). (I they use it in print, especially ignorant, at least as far as the sex- were both eye opening and heart protects them from discrimina- might propose my liberal educa- when their argument is based ual assault issue is concerned; in wrenching. 1 was placed in tion based on race and national tion failed me a little sooner. Say, around the meaning of that word. fact, I belabored this point in my Washington, D.C, along with origin and from arbitrary treat- when it started hiring people with However, the pros and cons original article. Jessica Filion, a fellow Trinity ment by the government. poor comprehension skills as lec- of this particular issue are really But the point of that article (if student, at the American Bar Immigrants work and pay taxes; turers.) irrelevant, since the whole "literal Adams possessed the reading Association and the Capital Area legal immigrants are subject to On the one hand, I do under- definition of rape" thing in my comprehension skills to catch it) Immigrants' Rights Coalition the military draft. stand the point Adams was trying article was subordinated in a tiny was that everyone is ignorant of (CA1R). Many immigrants have lived to' rhakfe. As r*m slift AUaftis is paragraph at the: erfd. TUB should * (his issue, because (using the, I was introduced to immigra- in 'this country-ftir'decades, mar- aware after reading the work of, have set off alarm bells in the DICTIONARY definition) there tion law in the United States and ried U.S. citizens, and raised their for example, Stephen Pinker, lan- head of anyone who worked at is no knowledge (i.e. data) to be guage is essentially arbitrary and the Writing Center that the literal had on this issue. exists only when there is a com- versus common definition of Thus, everyone suffers from a / worked with lawyers that developed mon consensus among the mass rumor was NOT a main point in lack of knowledge of sexual pro bono programs... for individuals in people as to what constitutes my article. assault, including Adams (unless, grammatical meaning. What this Thus, if one were to respond, perhaps, if she has a cross-cam- immigration courts. means is that such definitions as one might consider addressing pus spy network that secretly provided by the dictionary or the main points rather than focus- see DEFINITION on page 4 the subsequent human rights U.S.-citizen children. Laws that abuses that occur at the hands of punish them violate their funda- the U.S. government against mental right to fair and equal immigrants, refugees and new- treatment. comers to this country. At the Let me give you an example. ABA, I worked with lawyers that We met this young woman being developed pro bono programs to held in one of the jails. She came provide effective legal represen- to this country from Haiti when tation for individuals in immigra- she was two years old, accompa- tion courts. nied by her parents. She grew up They- also held regular meet- in New York and became a per- ings with top officials at the manent resident. Immigration and Naturalization In other words, she had a (INS) to discuss policy reforms green card and was a legal resi- and keep informed of pertinent dent of this country. As a teenag- developments within the agency. er, she became involved with Our tasks at CAIR involved a drugs and was arrested on several more hands-on approach to poli- marijuana charges. cy reform. We joined the A few years later, she was Coalition's lawyers and staff on once again arrested on drug weekly trips to rural Virginia charges. This time, she was county jails. We held "Know picked up by INS officials and Your Rights" presentations to placed in deportation proceed-

Immigrants work and pay taxes... Laws that punish them violate their fundamental right to fair and equal treatment.

groups of INS detainees that were ings. She was denied bail and housed in these jails. had been sitting in jail for months I feel that it is important to waiting to be deported when we discuss why immigration policy met her. reform was such an important I remember her telling us that issue even before September 11. she was not proud of what she In 1996, President Clinton signed had done. She had been foolish into law the Illegal Immigration and had broken the law and Reform and Immigrant deservedly served time in jail. Responsibility Act and the Anti- Now she was. being deported to a Terrorism and Effective Death country that she has not been to Penalty Act. . since her infancy. She does not Endorsed as legislation that speak the language and has no would control illegal immigra- family left in Haiti. She had no tion, this legislation actually see FIGHTING on page 4 ' PAGE 4 OPINIONS THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 Definition Debates Family Dynamics are Critical Confusion, Contradiction: No Settlement to Healthy Human Relations continued from page 3 Maybe it's just my "inabili- reports every sexual assault to ty," but I can't deny my confu- her). sion: rape happens at Trinity LlLJA VAZOVA father, who she simultaneously examples can go on like this for- Speaking of Adams' "inabili- because a "needy" serial rapist OPINIONS WRITER loves and hates. A young man is ever, and they would always be ty" to understand the point of my has struck at UConn, but college sleeping around because he sub- variations of on one and the same article, she also seemed to miss rape is not a product of serial Is it just me (and my first consciously hates women, and it's theme: you are what you are the big question it posed. This rapists. Maybe someone should encounter with Freud this semes- all related back to his complicated because of your family history, of troubles me, especially because I consider growing some prover- ter that had a significant influence wrote it rather explicitly: WHY bial balls and take an actual on my young, eager mind), or is do you think sexual assault is stance. psychoanalysis a really big deal ...you are what you are because of your prevalent at Trinity? I'd also like to thank Adams around here? Upon my entering To her credit, Adams did beat for that little window into her soul the U.S., the customs officer family history... everything always traces around the bush of this issue for a where she delved into how she asked me what I planned to major back to your family. bit, though somewhat inconsis- thinks she would feel were she a in. When I said it was psycholo- gy, he wholeheartedly congratu- Speaking of Adams' "inability" to lated me on my choice, "A relationship with his mother, your parents' relationship, shrinkie! There's a lot of money because she was never there for because you are a first child - understand the point of my article, she in this. Lots of crazy people out him. An adolescent girl is devel- everything always traces back to also seemed to miss the big question... there!" oping a cleanliness obsession your family. Feeling now confident about because her low-middle class par- I don't know if this is a way having figured out a way to soothe people's con- tently. victim of sexual assault. I truly to sustain myself for the sciousness, or merely For example, she suggested feeJ closer to her because of it. rest of my life, I started getting rid of responsibil- that sexual assault happens at However, I'm not really sure pondering about how ity by placing it on some- Trinity because incidents have what it added to the intellectual crazy people actually are one else. It's just that recently been reported at UConn, aspect of her argument, especially - and I don't mean only lately I have been facing which is, after all, "a short car because it was just an overly-dra- here, on this campus, or in countless stories of ride from here for any needy matic rehash of what Abigail this country, but all "complicated mother- rapist." Thomas more succinctly wrote in around the world. daughter relationships" But in the next paragraph she her article. Well, I guess crazy is or "a boy's quest for stated, "On college campuses, So I'll say again: spare me the quite an extreme way to independence and self- rape is often not done in the bush- dramatics and give me a consis- put it, but everybody has confidence" and I start to es... It is more often committed tent reason why you think sexual his or her own idiosyn- get the feeling that it's all in dorm rooms." assault is prevalent at Trinity. crasies, issues, attitude becoming somewhat problems, or whatever trite. you might wish to call I do not question the them. When it comes to a importance of one's fam- Fighting for Rights psychoanalytic approach ilies, but it is quite unrea- to all these, however, sonable to believe they continued from page 3 conditions inhumane. everything suddenly becomes ents wanted to make it into high- are the sole cause (and solution) idea where she was going to live In our report, Jessica and I merely a small detail in a much er society and made sure that she to any problems one might have. once she got there. went out on a limb and made a larger picture. was always dressed up and clean. Anyway, here's a scary It was very difficult to'listen . suggestion that the INS discontin- For example, one woman is A middle aged man is afraid of a thought to conclude the article to this woman's story and not feel ue its contract with the Virginia having relationship problems not serious relationship because he with: according to Freud, when that she was being treated unfair- Beach facility V&tifr&m>i!J!&& 1&ih

Office. We were given permission Our supervisors at both organiza- to tour each of the facilities and tions agreed and allowed us to collected data through a combina- submit the study to the INS with tion of observation and inter- our suggestion. views. We spoke to officers, In mid-September, we were chaplains, nurses, therapists, and amazed to learn that in response detainees. to our report, the INS Washington We were interested in access District Office had prematurely to legal materials, access to tele- terminated its contract with the phones, visitation, recreation, Virginia Beach Correctional medical and religious issues. We Facility and all of the detainees closely examined each facility, housed there had been moved to based on standards of detention other jails. that the INS has devised, and I was honestly quite surprised gave our own evaluation of the that the INS was so responsive to facility. our suggestions and took our

.../ played a small but significant role in changing the conditions of detention for detainees in the Washington area.

Some of the jails were better study seriously. At the same time, than others, but one jail, the I was relieved for the individuals Virginia Beach Correctional we had met at the Virginia Beach Facility, stood out as having the facility, for they no longer had to worst conditions. . endure those conditions. Detainees at the Virginia 1 left D.C, a different person Beach jail lacked a law library, because of what I was exposed to could not make phone calls to during my internship. At most, I their consulates or to free legal had expected to gain valuable service providers, were not given work experience and learn about full recreation time because of human rights advocacy in immi- staff shortages, and could not gration reform. In the end, I receive special meals to accom- played a small but significant role modate religious dietary restric- in changing the conditions of tions. Overall, we found the detention for detainees in the How the Grinch stole Christmas facility to be abhorrent and the Washington area. DECEMBER Id 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD NEWS PAGE 5

ON THE BEAT SOA Surveys Students About Their Experience at Trinity Stupid water fountain...be more continued from page 1 three percent of students are satis- variance. However, this does the seniors were heated over pos- fied with their time at Trinity. mean that close to half of the stu- wet! sible changes in the commence- The fifth showed that students dent body plans on maintaining ment ceremonies." would "strongly recommend" close ties with Trinity after gradu- Saturday, December 7, 1:15 AM, officers respond- The final three questions Trinity to prospective students. ation. ed to a report of vandalism to a water fountain on were much more promising in The final question does not In the end the results of the their results. The fourth question give a concrete answer, when survey can be somewhat ambigu- the first floor in Wheaton. The copper tubing showed that seventy-seven point considering the seven percent ous. inside the fountain had been damaged, causing water to leak onto the floor. Buildings and Grounds was called to the scene, along with the school's plumbing company. ... True 50.0% ^Sps. THIB«.8% You hear that, man? That Explorer's talking some smack! False 50.0% False 552%*™*''

Ql; I feel (he College Is improving Itself 02:1 am confident that our administrators Saturday, December 7, 1:10 PM, officers were and moving in the i!gW direction. are looklng-out for our best Interests. called to Summit St. near Summit Suites North.

A member of the Trinity community reported that ^...... True 16.5% the rear window of his 1998 Ford Explorer had been smashed in overnight. The Hartford Police 1 t Department was called. V,_ _ • True 773%

Q3:1 support President Herah Ql: 1 am satisfied with my Trinity Many things were drunkenly taken and his initiatives. experience thus tar.

home that evening... Fal.SB467%_ , False 35 5%~ -^ Many coats and jackets were reported missing "*%$$ yJ True 53.3% from Vernon Social Center at the end of the annual X ..--' Trus64:5% Senior Snowball, as well as from other events on campus. If you mistakenly took the wrong coat 05:1 would strongly recommend Trinity Q6:1 envision myself being an active College to a prospective student alumni {i.e. donating ID the home, Campus Safety requests that you bring it to endowment participating in area dubs, etc|. the Campus Safety Complex on Vernon St. so that

|^4we*®wner can retrieve it. No acti«j#fiMygb^ii '"•**- r~}Tm» taken against anyone bringing a coat in. Mole; M quesliona ate subject \o a.*/- 7% variance '*....: Funny, they never seem to be in that big of a hurry when I order Tripod Scrounges for News CHRIS BAKER ment for the group sponsoring it. a new way to voice your opposi- Sunday, December 8, 12:46 AM, a Red Honda While everyone is convinced NEWS EDITOR tion to federal laws you find City Pizza delivery vehicle was seen backing into their group deserves front page offensive and oppressive, do a small black pole in front of Vernon Social As you may have noticed, the coverage for whatever they are something controversial! Take Center. He proceeded towards Summit St. while news section is a bit sparse this doing, we can only put an organi- advantage of your time at a small week. If you've been watching zation in the paper so many times iiberal arts college. It's time you Campus Safety chased. He was pulled over by the Trinity Exchange site in the before our credibility is ques- stopped thinking PC and started Campus Safety and HPD and denied knowledge of past week or two, you've noticed tioned. thinking PCU! the same thing. Legitimate news- So, in order to remedy this Our job is to provide you with having damaged the pole. He agreed to pay repa- worthy events have been growing situation, we at the Trinity Tripod' information about what's going rations to Buildings and Grounds for the pole and rarer and rarer. would like to take this opportuni- on around campus. Help us help no citations were issued. There are only so many times ty to invite you to each do some- you. Make a contribution to the we can cover lectures sponsored thing newsworthy when you get campus by giving it your all. just by groups on campus. For those back to campus. as Hersh always reminds us about Look, I hate Explorers too, but seri- of you who don't know, many Stage a nonviolent protest to social events, don't assume that times this comes down to being something that is not already others will take the initiative. ously... nothing more than an advertise- being protested every week, find Carpe diem.

Sunday, December 8, 12:45 PM, the front passen- ger window of a white Ford Explorer was reported No Gas Leak Found in Mather to have been shattered in the Doonesbury parking continued from page 1 less than last year's total. 11:21 PM HFD arrived and lot. Campus Safety is investigating. Perhaps more disturbing Hartford Police Department checked the building, finding no would be the events that unfolded has expressed the opinion that obvious signs of leaks or dan- as the week progressed. On these are unrelated crimes. No gers. Just think, in a week you won't Wednesday, a 16-year-old named motivation has been offered for They decided to call have to worry about this for a whole Carlos Manuel Garcia (no rela- the last round of shootings, and Connecticut Natural Gas, causing tion to Ms. Garcia) was shot in no suspects have been arrested in a 25 minute delay to those hoping month the chest on Main St. connection to any of these crimes. to get in a late night snack at the Only eight hours later, Stacy Students Finding sanctuary Cave. Monday, December 9, 6:25 AM all Campus Safety McDonald, a 20 year-old, was from the cold in the Underground CNG took their turn inspect- killed in a drive by shooting at Sunday night found themselves ing the building and, after three units responded to a fire alarm along the Long Granby and Plainfield streets. pushed right back outside shortly strikes, the gas leak theory was Walk. All students, faculty, and staff were evacu- Sunday saw three men being shot, after 11 PM when reports of a gas ruled out. ated from the Seabury, Northam, and Jarvis build- two critically wounded, on Park leak in Mather hall prompted the CNG pronounced in their St. by an unknown assailant. attention of Campus Safety. official opinion that the offensive ings. An active smoke detector was found to have Police say that one of the men Campus Safety officers odor was caused by a stinkbomb gone off in the Northam Attic Stairs. Hartford was treated at Hartford Hospital responded to a report of a gas leak or perhaps a problem with the Fire Department searched the building, but no fire for a gunshot wound to his foot, in the south stairwell of Mather at sewer system in Mather. although Hartford Hospital has 11:08 PM. Upon arrival, they had Although "stinky" was the was found. The buildings were opened again at no record of his treatment. the building cleared of all stu- description that first came to 6:38 AM. At present, there have been dents and staff and awaited the mind, Campus Safety preferred to 24 homicides in Hartford this arrival of Hartford Fire call the building "safe" and nor- year alone. This is one murder Department Company 1.5. At mal operations were resumed. PAGE 6 NEWS THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 Mullets Abound at the IMITIATIE Guns n' Roses Concert (CAMIIPTIJS ^^J No One Surprised In the Least, Concertgoers Say HOME IPM€)(&MAM[ CHRIS BAKER old-school Metallica, and AC/DC, suffers NEWS EDITOR from a perpetual stereotype of being worn by primarily undereducated, economically Fans of perennial rock and roll band disadvantaged Southerners, making it Guns n' Roses were not surprised to find something undesirable as far as most that one out of every 5 attendees of the con- Trinity students are concerned. MEMBERS OF THE AXP (CROW) cert last Tuesday night was sporting a mul- Tutorial College students tackled this let. very issue in a recent seminar session with FRATERNITY HAVE VOLUNTEERED The hairstyle known as the "mullet" is Professor Higgins, focusing on the clas- identified as the hair growing from the sist/racist attitude that is often directed TO WALK STUDENTS HOME DUR- back of the head being kept significantly towards those brave enough to rock the longer than the hair on the rest of the head. mullet. Celebrities who "rock the mullet," as wear- One of the more interesting topics to ING EVENING HOURS ON FRIDAYS ing the hairstyle is known, are few and far result from this discussion was the question AND SATURDAYS FROM 10:00PM "Well, mullets can be deceiving..." - Ben Sparrow, 03 UNTIL 2:00AM.

between. The best possible example would of why it is still considered to be culturally be Billy Ray Cyrus, who rose to national acceptable to mock those of a poor prominence in the early 90s with his break- Southern background, and how this is a through country hit song "Achy Breaky stigma that stays with someone throughout TO USE THIS SERVICE CONTACT Heart." life. Former President Clinton brought this Most individuals who "rock the mul- issue to light with telling comments such as THE CAMPUS SAFETY SHUTTLE let" happen to be male, although there are a "You can take the boy out of the trailer, but few brave females who wear their hair with you can't take the trailer out of the boy." pride. Known as the "femullet," this phe- Recently, the issue of classism and DISPATCHER AT X3333. INFORM nomenon has been known to confuse many Southemism came to national attention in people. the debate over the Masters Tournament THEM OF YOUR LOCATION AND Ben Sparrow 03, who attended decision to be held at Augusta in Georgia, a Tuesday's festivities, fell prey to this com- club that does not allow women to play mon error. When informed that the noisy there. The president of the club, Hootie THEY WILL SEND SOMEONE TO individual seated behind him was, in fact, a Johnson, came under significant fire for female, Ben was confused, to say the least. defending the decision of his club. Some WALK YOU HOME. "Well, mullets can be deceiving," was commentators made note at the time that all he was able to say. were Mr. Johnson named something else, The mullet hairstyle, much like almost- of a different cotor, and living in the North, classic-rock acts such as Guns n' Roses, the flap would not have ensued.

"EGGS-AM- BREAK"

*. v , :<•••• MIDNIGHT BREAKFAST! OPEN TO ALL STUDENTS

; President Hersh • Get The Latest School and members of the faculty 'News Without Getting Ink and administration will be v All Over Your Hands. serving you MIDNIGHT breakfast!

• v :* -.,<• •• - ? • y Tuesday December 10, 2002 Please join them!

10:00 PM to 12 Midnight Mather Dining Hall

Take a break and join in the fun! DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD NEWS PAGE 7

tion might serve as a "training agency statement said, with a gram — how far they got and time. He had just about given up." Iraq Releases its manual" for stockpiling and hid- fuller assessment to be provided what kinds of steps they would Ward was in serious condi- ing weapons, and they did not when it reports to the council at have needed to take to complete tion after surgery Sunday at a Declaration of its want it to fall into the wrong the end of January. it" and she said the IAEA believes hospital in Huntington. Both of Weapons Program hands. Speaking from the agency's "they did have a ways to go." his feet were frostbitten. The United States received an headquarters in Vienna, Austria, Though Iraq said the declara- Ward was five miles from the unedited copy — a switch from IAEA spokeswoman Melissa tion proves the nation has no pro- coal mine where he works as a UNITED NATIONS (CNN) last week's council announce- Fleming said that on first glance hibited weapons, U.S. Defense security guard and two miles — Iraq's declaration of its ment that inspectors would ana- nuclear arms experts said they Department officials Monday from the nearest home when his weapons programs could identify lyze and screen parts relating to believe much of the document is repeated assertions that Iraqi car went off the road December 2. countries or firms that supplied its the proliferation of weapons of "very similar" to a declaration leader Saddam Hussein does have It plunged 150 feet and hit a tree, nuclear, chemical and biological mass destruction before passing it them and has hidden the evi- destroying the headlights and weapons programs, according to . along to members. dence. hom. a table of contents obtained Security Council President U.S. officials are eager to The area's first major snow- Monday by CNN. Alfonso Valdivieso, Colombia's compare the declaration to their fall hit a few days later and tem- In a letter that accompanies U.N. ambassador, said the council own intelligence reports. peratures remained below freez- the nearly 12,000-page docu- decided to provide full copies to If Baghdad's declaration is ing for several days. To stay ment, Foreign Minister Naji Sabri its five permanent members — found to include false informa- warm, Ward ripped the lining said the dossier's publication the United States, Russia, France, tion or omit pertinent informa- from the car's roof and used it as "entails risk" of releasing infor- China, and Great Britain — all of tion, it could constitute a "materi- a blanket, Likens said. mation that violates nonprolifera- which are declared nuclear pow- al breach" of the U.N. resolution He also burned paper, includ- tion standards. ers. sending inspectors back to Iraq. ing pages from his EMT manual, Sabri called the report "cur- It was not clear when the and melted snow to drink. His rently accurate, full and com- remaining 10 council members Man in Car Crash only food was what he could get plete," but told the U.N. Security would see the declaration or por- out of an old peanut butter jar and Council it contains information tions of it. Saved by Taco Bell sauce packets from Taco Bell. that could aid countries seeking to The U.S. copy was taken to a Iraq released in 1998. Sauce Packets "It's a bachelor vehicle. It develop nuclear, chemical or bio- secure location in Washington "We're going to scour catches a little bit of everything," logical weapons. where officials were making through this document word for CHARLESTON, West Likens said. The nine-page preface to the copies for the four other perma- word, and we're going to check it Virginia (AP) — A man trapped Searchers from two volunteer report being circulated among nent members, a State against declarations we've for nearly a week in his car after fire departments, law enforce- council members Monday refers Department source told CNN. received in the past," Fleming it plunged into a ravine survived ment agencies, state natural to a terminated "radiation bomb U.N. officials said it could said. "We have been scanning in the freezing cold by burning resource and forestry workers and project" — possibly a so-called take days to fully analyze the dec- them since the moment we got paper, melting snow for water and coal mine employees scoured the radiological weapon, or "dirty laration. They cite its complexity, them back to IAEA headquarters eating packets of fast-food sauce, area. bomb." its length, and the fact that parts last night. rescuers say. A coal company donated a The contents pages also have to be translated from Arabic. "We're not in the position at Robert Ward, 32, suffered a helicopter for the search. include references to procure- A senior official in the Bush all to make any kinds of judgment broken hip in the crash and could As Likens and a companion ment of petrochemicals for Iraq's administration told CNN the U.S. on this document — truth or no not get out of the car. He was searched the ravine Sunday with nuclear weapons program and to intelligence community would truth. We're in a good position to found Sunday by his friend Terry binoculars, Ward heard their car "foreign technical assistance" and take the lead in conducting the be able to assess the document in Likens, captain of the fire depart- and voices and started hollering. "relations with companies, repre- U,S. analysis of the documents. due time against vast amounts of ment where Ward is a volunteer "He asked us to pinch him so sentatives and individuals" under The International Atomic information we have and against emergency medical technician. he knew he wasn't dreaming," its chemical weapons declaration. Energy Agency expects to be able what our inspectors can go out "I don't think he would have Likens said. "He said he had a lot Diplomatic sources said to provide a preliminary analysis and look for on the ground." made it through the night," of weird dreams while he was Security Council members, of the nuclear part of the docu- She said the IAEA had a Likens said. "He told us when we down there. He dreamed two or including the United States, were ment to the Security Council "very good understanding of found him, he said he was getting three times when people would concerned some of the informa- within the next 10 days, an Iraq's past nuclear weapons pro- ready to go to sleep for the last come by and didn't get him out."

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I have KATHRYN Q'LEARY Mayer opened each song dif- chance to see John on Late Night CHRIS BAKER never seen so many pinwheel ferently than it is performed on With Conan O'Brien, December NEWS EDITOR ARTS WRITER strums, double leg kick jumps, the album, and thus, the crowd 20th, and on December 31st, we and flashes of rock in one per- was not quite sure what song was can all ring in the New Year with The first opening act neglect- "I wanna scream at the top of formance. For those of you who coming next. Itcouldbe"83"orit John Mayer on Dick Clark's ed to introduce themselves until my lungs" for John Mayer. John don't know, "flashing rock" is could be "Comfortable." John Primettme New Year's Rockin, more than halfway through their Mayer, the new up and coming when one extends one's pinky often spoke and pumped up the- Eve, which airs on ABC. set. The only identifying element twenty-three year old guitar play- and index finger from one's crowds between songs, and even John Mayer's concert was of the show was a giant banner er recently performed at the closed fist, and is used as a key went so far as to do a bit of gui- truly amazing. It was John at the behind them that read CKY. Is it Oakdale Theatre in Wallingford, communication device between tarfree-styling playing different front of the stage, guitar in hand, a cologne? Is it a new kind of, CT. the rock band and audience. In a terrific band, wonderful songs, -ahem-, lubrication? Is it simply this case, the message was "I'm and oh yeah, did I mention the missing a vowel or two? I didn't having a great time and I only Mayer opened each song differently mini-fan club that had the luxury know. ever learned four chords!" All in of sitting in the wings on stage The initials, it turns out, stood all, he proved to be a single shin- than It is performed on the album. watching the one and only John? for Camp Kill Yourself, which is This I could only see because 1 was blessed with "limited view- ing" seats. Mr. Rock and Roll was a man who was Saturday's concert opened chords which melted into a bar of After about twenty minutes of just too much rock to be contained ... with Maroon 5, who invited John Gwen Stefani and Eve's "Let Me figuring out who these people Mayer to perform one of their Blow Your Mind." Besides put- were and how they got on stage, songs wiih them. The minute ting on an excellent show, John using my handy binoculars, I John stepped out on stage, the Mayer is already being applauded came to the conclusion that the crowd went wild. It's very clear and watched by music aficiona- mini-fan club was John's family. certainly where I felt like I was ing moment of entertaining idio- that this young, sexy, new, artist, dosall over the county. There were two couples, who 1 living for the 45 minutes they per- cy in an otherwise long and with lyrics like "something about, When Elton John made an am assuming were his parents and formed. The music was (the painful set. the way the hair falls in your face, appearance on The Rosie grandparents. author here spends nearly 5 whole The second opening act suf- I love theshape you lake when O'Donneil Show he could not- One question~How cute, is minutes trying to find the right fered from the same problem as crawling towards the pillow case, word. Ah, here it is -) bad. 1 feel the first. I never really caught his you tell me where togo though [ as though my girlfriend summed name, but I believe it was Mix might leave lo find it, I'll never John Mayer's concert was truely amaz- it up the best by asking "What Master Mike. How original, let your head hit the bed without idiot let these guys out of their After the extended video bit on my hand behind it" has quite a ing. mother's garage?" .As one who the giant screen introducing him- following. has spent many a night.listening self, the, audience of die hard The Concert was truly amaz- stop raving about John Mayer as he?! John. is from Connecticut to my friends rock out in garages,. Guns 'n Roses fans were treated ing. Mayer played most, if not all one of his favorite up and coming and he must have invited his fam- J can say that this is a fair assess- to, that's right ladies and gentle- of the songs off his current album, artists. Anthony Curtis, a critic for,- ily to come..,.and.watch,;thiS'.per- ment. The production quality. men, a;man.spinning records. Room For Squares such as Rolling Stone, spoke of Bob formance in his home state. was very poor, hopefully' inten- .;.;•• By all that I hold holy, I swear "Neon," "My Stupid Mouth," Dylan, Elton John, and John Hmmmm ... maybe TCAC tionally to minimize the clarity that I will;find, the man who "No Such Thing," "Why Mayer on the NBC's Today could get John Mayer for a con- with which the listener, .can her , arranged. for these opening acts Georgia," "Love Song For No Show. . '•• V:.. .•••.•- cert ... wink wink... he is, after all the pounding, barchords and and drag, him into the street to be 1 One" and "St. Patrick's Day." John Mayer was also on The from Connecticut, I'm sure he throbbingly simple bassline. shot like the dog that he is. The crowd knew every chord, Late Show with David Letterman would LOVE to perform at one of The most enjoyable aspect of Not only was the genre of lyric, and beat by heart, and John and The Tonight Show with Jay his state's fine educational estab- Camp Oh Dear God They're Triple M completely mismatched even slowed the tempo to "No Leno this past week, and on lishments. That way, all the Serious was perhaps their lead to the headliner, he was not terri- Such Thing" because the crowd December 14, 2002 he will fea- Bantams can experience all the guitarist, who I quickly began bly good, There is only so much was singing it as is on the album, tured on VHi's Big In 2002 fun I had last Saturday night, Jhe. referring to as Mr, Rock, and Roll. that one,.can do while playing while he wanted to do a sort of Awards. For a special Christmas night of John Mayer's awesome Mr. Rock and Roll was a man mixed-up acoustic version. gift, Santa- is>, .giving us all a concert who was just too much ro^ckto be, see OPENING on page 11 ?*• «'

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With the crowd jumping out of their seats ready to scream "So how many of you thought for more, Axl obliged and imme- we'd make it tonight?"- Axl Rose diately burst into more "Appetite" favorites "It's so Wei], God bless 'em, they Easy" and "Mr. Brownstone" to were there last Tuesday night and start off the show. it was the single greatest night of At this point I was out of con- my life. Never mind the sub zero trol as I realized the enormity of temperatures and the imminent Axl's presence- after all, with as snow storm enveloping Hartford; with any Guns N' Roses show Guns N' Roses was here- and I there's a fifty percent chance the had floor seats... giddiyup. In band won't show and even if they their first world tour since the Use do show, there is a fifty percent Your Illusions Tour of 1993, Guns chance that the concert will erupt N' Roses put on a show to end all in riot. Three songs into this set, shows. From the raging opening luckily, there was no trouble and guitar licks of "Welcome to the we were experiencing some Jungle," to the mellowing, smooth sailing. Continuing the lighter-inducing, fifteen minute trend, The Guns slowed the pace rendition of "November Rain," playing their version of Paul original members Axl Rose, McCartney's "Live and let Die" Dizzy Reed, and Buckethead and Bob Dylan's "Knockin' on ignited the Hartford crowd and Heaven's Door." The Guns pose, showing off their big hair and leather pants. WWW.TODOMUSICA.ORQ showed us all that 80's Arena The next thirty minutes were Rock was back in full force here a complete blur and mix of new an electric feeling ravaged the not bear to see Mike Petrelli make formed live on the Chinese in Southern New England. Guns N' Roses material, the crowd as forty year old veterans the biggest mistake of his young Democracy Tour, more great While the lineup we saw at booze kicking in, and the over- of metal leapt into the sky along- life with a thirty seven year-old music from "Appetite" re- ignited the Civic Center was far from the whelming joy of seeing Axl Rose side twenty year old rookies to woman named Bifmuck (names the mellowed crowd. To close glory day's lineup of Axl Rose, and Dizzy Reed a mere hundred the Guns. have been changed to protect the out the show, Axl delighted all of Dizzy Reed, Slash, Duff feet away. But, like they always After another set of new (post innocent). As the two caressed, us with two of the most famous McKagan, Izzy Stradlin, and do, the Roses brought us all back "Appetite" and "Use Your the Guns answered my prayers songs off of the album: "Night Steven Adler, the show still did to reality by playing an inspired Illusions," the old Guns N' Roses and began whistling the opening Train" and the omnipotent not disappoint. However, I don't "Sweet Child O' Mine," followed sound returned with the spicy and to "Patience." Luckily for Mike, "Paradise City." think anyone could handle the by the. unveiling of a massive extremely loud "Rocket Queen." as "Patience" began, Bifmuck Capped by a spectacular fire- original lineup together since the piano to the stage and a disap- Luckily, despite a ten year layoff, realized that she was more inter- works and pyrotechnics display mere presence of all six men on pearing Axl Rose- signifying the Axl Rose still had his late eighties ested in finding a cigarette and during both songs, Guns N' Roses the same stage would re-center beginning of their always remark- stage moves ready to go. less interested in sweet, sweet still remembered how to close a the nexus of the universe to the able rock epic, "November Rain." Running across the stage and college booty. Therefore, in con- show in style. As an unholy Hartford Civic Center thereby In what can only be described as leaping off random speakers and clusion,- the song represented a amount of confetti rained down generating greatness so unimag- the greatest fifteen minutes of my people, Axl's stage presence was severing of ties- as Mike moved upon the crowd, I relished the last inable that the building and the life, Axl jammed on the piano dis- everything everyone imagined away from Bifmuck and as the few minutes of my greatest day. people in it would explode. So, in playing his remarkable musical and the entire package manifested crowd moved away from the The Guns N' Roses sound of old a way, the lack of the original range as the eccentric, KFC itself with the crowd-riling insanity that had captivated us for was back, complete with the same Guns was a good thing. Chicken bucket wearing and gui- "Rocket Queen." so long and transformed, instead, presence, the same gusto, the The show we saw, however, tar great Buckethead jammed Fearing that my heart would into a calmed, relaxed mood. same machismo, and all without the universal dangers of was reminiscent of the "Appetite with guitarist S-objnjs^ffi^^^^feii ^ffljMSiRJUPfeSt'' Axl- &V a lil Well, if you.know Gun N' for Destruction" days. With out background. As tnenrsFreco^ ratience." I simply could not Roses, you know that calm dtri'if of control pyrotechnics and typi- nizable hints of "November handle another exciting floor riot last for long. And tonight, just associated with the re-unification Ay cal Axl stage moves the show Rain" blasted across the building at the Civic Center and I could like every other night they've per- of the original band. Wonderful Baraka name takes you around the globe CINESTUDIO Liz WELSH to expose all aspects of the human ARTS WRITER condition. Since it's a 70-mil- limeter film, the picture is huge, IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE Having rolled out of bed at with stunning details. This is par- (1946) Directed by Frank Capra. Screenplay: Frances Goodrich, based on Philip Van one o'clock Monday afternoon to ticularly appropriate given the Doren Stern's novel. Cast: James Stewart, Donna Reed, Henry Travers, Lionel write this, I think I can safely say subject matter, which includes Barrymore. that, yes, it is a wonderful life. As . epic aerial Shots of all corners of First released at the close of World War II, Frank Capra's film touched audiences with its swamped as we all are with end- the earth. Baraka is perfect for essential sense of decency and optimism. Today, you can treat yourself and the people of-the-semester papers and anyone who's ever wanted to see you care about to a beautiful, brand new black and white print of a film about the inter- exams, at least we don't have any the entire globe in an hour and a connectedness of us all. If you've only seen It's A Wonderful Life on tv, try it on the big more classes to take up our time half. and prevent us from working on screen in the dark! James Stewart plays an ordinary guy who's put his own dreams on Having explored our world, them. This is when procrastina- hold to help others, only to be driven to despair by his inability to make things right. It you: can next enter into a com- tion really kicks in, and we can pletely different one with Spirited takes an angel named Clarence to reveal what Stuart's hometown might have been like take up our own time by doing Away. A Japanese animated film without his caring and commitment. 129 Min things like seeing great movies. dubbed in English which has won Playing at Cinestudio from awards and rave reviews in a vari- BARAKA now until Thursday is the holiday ety of countries, Spirited Away is (1992)Directed and photographed by Ron Fricke. Music and sound collage by Michael classic --It's A Wonderful Life, the story of a girl named Chihiro, Stearns. Produced by Mark Magidson. Oddly enough, the movie flopped who discovers a secret world Back by popular demand - a beautiful new Todd-AO® 70mm 10th anniversary print of in theatres when it was first when she and her parents take a Baraka on the big screen at Cinestudio! Getting together with friends and family to watch released, and came to be so wrong turn driving in the country- Baraka in December has become an alternative holiday celebration. For Ron Fricke, strongly beloved as it was aired side one day. Baraka's director, what is being celebrated is the natural beauty of our planet. His aston- on TV around Christmastime Separated from her parents, each year. For those of you who ishing large format 70mm photography takes us on a journey through six continents, from who have been mysteriously haven't seen it before, It's A transformed, and surrounded by Argentina's Iguagu Falls, to whirling dervishes in Turkey, to the mountains of Nepal. Wonderful Life is the story of Fricke also shows us the places on Earth where the lack of human compassion has led spirits and fanciful creatures, small-town family man George Chihiro must stand up for herself to suffering. There is no dialogue or narrative in this film, but the stunning images and Bailey, desperate and suicidal on as she tries to find a way to return sounds communicate the very meaning of the ancient Sufi word baraka, "the essence of Christmas Eve. Through flash- to the human world. life."96Min backs, we see how he ended up Adapted from the Internet this way, and then, thanks to a novel "Beijing Story" by an LANYU well-meaning if a bit simplistic anonymous author, Lan Yu is (2001)Director: Stanley Kwan. Screenplay: Jimmy Ngai, based on the Internet novel angel named Clarence, we see Cinestudio's last "late show" of what life would be like if George Beijing Story by "Beijing Comrade". Cast: Hu Jun, Liu Ye, Li Huatong, Su Jin. this semester. It's the story of two had, as he wishes, "never been Chinese men who fall in love, Based on an anonymous Internet novel and secretly filmed in Beijing, Lan Yu challenges born." the current Chinese regime with two combustible subjects - the 1989 student uprising in circa 1988. Each of them have to Tienanmin Square, and the love story of two men. The first film of veteran Hong Kong Don't let the fact that he's reconcile the love they feel with now desperate and suicidal fool the life they want, in a society director Stanley Kwan to be released in the States is an elegant exploration of how the you; George is, and always has where much is at stake. In trying personal can affect the political, and vice versa. Chen Handong is an up and coming been, a good, honest and giving to find a balance, they separate Beijing businessman who's infatuated with Lan Yu, an impoverished architecture student man. Everything he values is, in and are reunited, and make deci- from the countryside. At first he sees Lan Yu as a diversion, en route to a respectable the end, enthusiastically, reaf- sions that both help and hurt one (opposite sex) marriage. But their affair, along with so much else, is transformed by the firmed for him, lifting his spirits another. shocking repression and its aftermath. 86 min. The Friday Dec 20th screening of LAN YU and yours. As they come even closer to a is a Special Benefit for The Connecticut Gay & Lesbian Film Festival ADMISSION FOR Baraka is an ancient Sufi comfortable union, they still have THIS SCREENING: $10, Students/Seniors $8 For more information call 586-1136 86 Min. word meaning "the essence of to contend with the limitations of life," and the film of the same the society in which they live. THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 PAGE 10 ARTS For Your Viewing Pleasure: The Directing Class Projects Trinity Students Bring Scripts to Life With Skill and Original Vision Both On-Stage and Behind the Scenes BAILEY TRIGGS pleasure) of taking a break from my daunting final projects (of less ARTS WRITER pleasurable proportions) to watch them. It's finals week and if you're Before you run out with your anything like me, right now add/drop form next semester you're stressed, sick, and just thinking, "1 gotta get me into that want to go home damn it! (A cou- directing class. I need a fun, easy ple deep breaths and I'll be fine; I final." I'm going to have to put swear!) Things to look forward the breaks on your "Get An Easy to include: that huge exam cover- A Quick" scheme (cue sound of ing world history from 1400 to screeching breaks). When I was present, the hour-long presenta- describing the directing class tion with the required Power finals, I was solely talking about Point, flaming hoops, and danc- the enjoyment factor of the peo- ing girls, and that 20-page paper ple watching the projects, not the with the 15-page annotated bibli- enjoyment factor of the people ography on the molecular compo- actually making the projects. sition of sea monkeys. You drink That aspect I can't speak directly your triple shot espresso and for since I did not take the class, shake your head as you type furi- and although I assume the stu- ously at four o'clock in the morn- dents of the directing class had a ing; you pity the professor who good time putting together their will have to read this crap. This directing projects, my point is Actors infuse feeling into dialogue, pulling off a fantastic Abi Mulldover thought leads into another which that just because it was fun, does- performance of Inspector Hound dispite a sparse set. leads into another which leads n't mean it wasn't a lot of work. you to stop typing and to stare at Just as much, if not more than MacDonald and Lincoln do their was anything but, well..^ realis- I just ruined the ending). It was the computer screen for a good your 20-page sea monkey paper best acting. MacDonald is a tic. For all of Troost's creativity, clear that Diebold spent most of half our with a dazed expression (probably more at the rate you're delightfully devilish Felix (the the element that drove the piece her directorial energy on working on your face. going, just staring off into the owl of the title) who convinces was the same one, surprisingly with her actors to get them where screen like that). Karen Stern Doris (the pussycat) that the best enough, that drove Stern's play: they needed to be (cattle herding Why do professors give us '03, Scott Troost '05, Caitlin finals anyway? You think. Do thing about her is her untapped the tension between the actors. work, basically). She was suc- Diebold '04, and Seth Abramson mind. He tells her that he loves Noah Harrell '03 and Brianne cessful in that regard: the play they enjoy spending the rest of '04, the directors of the Fall ihe month reading around 1,000 her mind and does not want a Tangney '04 gave the perform- was clever, funny, and overall, Series Directing Projects, worked physical relationship with her, all ances of the night as a dysfunc- entertaining. pages of badly written research hard for your viewing pleasure. papers on a topic they spent a life- the while kissing her neck. Not tional couple that years before, The final directing project only does Felix's physical had left their spouses to run off as was by Seth Abramson whose advances entice her, but also his lovers. Now, stuck in the repeti- project differed from the others in There are finals whose actual point is to proposition that she has some tiveness of their daily routines (as that he didn't follow a set script, be enjoyable for an audience ... untapped genius within her. She shown by HarreH's obsessive but instead created his. own out of begins explaining how her broth- chicken feeding and Tangney's excerpts from The Fever by er always called her stupid and fixation with finding the perfect William Shaw, Howl by Allan how she had begun to believe it, placement for a folding chair she Ginsberg, and Dulce et Decorum but now that Felix had said that, keeps folding and unfolding and Est by Wilfred Owen. The space time of graduate school research- The Fall Series Directing she was.be,«ntun moving throughout the- piece), all was set with a large white sheet ing? Finals are so long, so bor- \,..... 1 they can do is bicker about the : ! 5 : 1 . cutting across the room directly in' • ingfs6 iedfo i,^No' 3rtC tmc^"* : lundamemal diflcruncc between a liont of the audience lit tiom thoughts after all. It's interesting professor will ever want to see the Pussycat by Bill Manhoff. tortoise and a snail and how their behind with a light. In front of to see the role reversal as Felix, them and he or she is crazy to The play begins when Felix lives would be different (and bet- the sheet and to the left was a the intellectual, makes sexual even want to do that. But before (Ward Mac Donald '03) enters his ter) if they hadn't found each gold, empty frame hanging from advances on Doris, while she, the you write out your manifesto and house to find Doris (Jen Lincoln othen One of the most interesting the ceiling. Behind the sheet was more sexual character, begins to hit Mather during midnight '06) lounging on his couch in aspects of this piece is that as it a girl in a rolling office chair focus more on her intellectual breakfast with your "Down With pajamas. They proceed to argue. moves along, you begin to real- (Caitlin Mehner '06) pretending side, In the end, she gives in to Finals!" signs in their wet red Initially, you get the impression ize, through hints in their dia- to be bound up and pushed Felix's attention and the play paint, I must point out that all that Doris is obsessively in love logue, that they are shut in their around by a prison guard-type finals are not created equal. blacks out with them embracing with Felix and he has no interest house because there is a war figure (Alicia Diaz '06). on the couch. going on outside their doors. Matthew Bamberg-Johnson was Stern chose to set the stage After their first few passionate the humanizing voice in this pro- with a few pieces of furniture to outbursts at each other, it makes duction. Quoting from the vari- establish that the action took you wonder which war is scarier, ous pieces that made up the per- place in a living room and then let the one outside or the one within. formance, he was able to depict a the actors and the dialogue get the After a two-hour break violent world in which he was focus. This was a good choice between projects, the Fall Series ashamed and frightened to be a because the piece she chose was Directing Projects recommenced part of. One of the most effective highly character driven and it with Caitlin Diebold's direction aspects of this piece that I have would have lost something if she had tried to redirect the audi- ence's attention to an unusual set- .., the play was clever, funny, overall ting or other theatrical conceit. Although in the beginning I found entertaining. the characters to be on the car- toonish side and had difficulty getting into the play, the final of The Real Inspector Hound by neglected to mention thus far was scene was much more convincing Tom Stoppard. This production the live musicians (Andy Hatch and in a way redeemed the piece. was the most ambitious in size, '03, Richard Lawrence '04, and You're sitting here reading with eight characters in the pro- Gil Green '02) who were playing this article and thinking: "Hurray duction (not counting the dead behind the curtain. This piece for character development! That's body on the floor played by Scott was more about creating a mood all well and good Bailey, but Troost). The Real Inspector and overall ambiance than telling where are the rubber chickens Hound is a classic whodunit with a specific story, and the live dangling from the ceiling? And a twist: two of the characters, music was an extremely effective where is the actor throwing Moon (Jamie Tracey '.06) and way to further create the atmos- puffed wheat at said rubber chick- Birdboot (Brad Bietz '04), are phere director Abramson was try- ens? 1 want to watch a play and positioned in the audience as the- ing to achieve. Title character of Inspector Hound ABl MULLDOVER get hit by puffed wheat damn it! ater critics. This drawing of And that's all.I have to say Mmm puffed wheat..." If you'd attention to the play as a play about that. I know you're reading There are some finals that are in her, but as the argument pro- just wipe that puffed wheat gives the piece a sense of self-, this right now thinking: "Please, actually so interesting that not gresses, you begin to piece induced drool off your chin, I'd awareness that adds some theatri- Bailey, don't end your article. I only the professor, but also stu- together that Felix and Doris real- tell you that I have all of that cal legitimacy to what otherwise don't want to have to get back to dents from Trinity at large come ly did have a relationship togeth- madness and more in store for would be just a cheesy murder writing that sea monkey paper to see it, There are finals whose er, albeit a dysfunctional one. you in my next directing project mystery. The acting of the char- yet. Just 500 more words, please! actual point is to be enjoyable for Although Felix professes to review. Or, more accurately, acters actually on stage putting on I've used up all my other procras- an audience (although sometimes loathe Doris, once she has left his director Scott Troost has all of the murder mystery was over the tination tricks, reading the Tripod the point is to have the experience house, he calls her on the phone that in store for you in his direc- top, which led to the fun, campy is all I have left!" Well, I'm sorry not be enjoyable for an audience; to find out how she's doing (after tion of Eugene Ionesco's Frenzy feel of the piece. In a bizarre turn you feel this way, truly 1 am. And but 1 promise we won't get into a series of calling and hanging up for Two, or More. Troost's piece of events that begs for a suspen- I wish I could help you out some, artistic theory here, 1 know your right when she picks up the phone differs greatly from Stern's in that sion of disbelief from the audi- but you see as fun as writing this brains are fried enough already). - that wuss!). where Stern stuck to a simple, ence, first Birdboot and then article has been, the more I think What are these finals that I speak The play really picks up and realistic set, Troost's set with its Moon end up jumping on stage about it, the more it's sneakily of, the ones that sacrilegiously draws the viewer in at the end rubber chickens, puffed wheat, and becoming part of the action, beginning to sound more and link words denoting pleasure with when Doris and Felix get back and lighted box in the middle of with Moon actually turning out to more like work. And hell, if the concept of a final? They are together in his apartment, This the floor that served as a window be the murderer the detective you're procrastinating and not the Directing class's final projects scene is where the true nature of to the outside world when the Hound was searching for doing work, then why shouldn't I and I had the pleasure (yes, the the characters is revealed and actors stuck their, heads into it, (whoops! sorry about that, I guess be doing the same? All right, DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD ARTS PAGE 11 Lessons And Carols Ring in the Holidays at the Chapel MARGARET PRITCHARD the prophets promises that a Savior would come to redeem the world, and the story of ARTS WRITER the birth of Jesus. It also points to the future, because by mentioning the fact that It is Christmas, 1918, in Cambridge, Jesus purpose was to redeem us from sin, England. You have lost a son or a brother it raises the question of how, which brings or a husband in the Great War, and all of up Easter and the coming of the Kingdom. Europe if struggling to rebuild from the The liturgy acknowledges that Christmas bloodshed of the last four years. You are in celebrates the coming of salvation into our a church, sitting next to family or friends broken world, but meanwhile acknowl- or neighbors, at a service written just this edges that the world is still broken, and past year, called An Advent'Service of that, as one of the Lessons and Carols Lessons and Carols, based on older servic- hymns says, beneath the heavenly hymn es and the tradition of Christmas Caroling. have rolled two thousand years of wrong. The choir processes in, and sings "Once In Lessons and Carols at Trinity began in Royal David's City," a Victorian 1958. Participants come from all aspects Christmas Carol about the birth and child- of college life - from the President of the hood of Jesus. College to students, professors, and The priest reads a prayer, calling the administrators - and the singing is led by congregation together, and bids you the Chapel Singers and the Concert Choir. remember those who rejoice with us, but This year, they were joined by soprano on another shore and in a greater light. Liesl Odenweller '88, and harpist You catch your neighbor's eye, thinking of Rebecca Flannery. those loved ones of yours who that could After the procession and the first two refer to, remembering what each of you lessons, Ms. Odenweller, along with Floyd have lost, shocked by what you have seen Higgins '85, the director of the Concert Crucifer leads holiday procession at Chapel. DANIELLE MARKEL in all my holy mountain. The choirs and Herod's soldiers come to destroy them in congregation sang "In the Bleak the hope of destroying Jesus, and the other Good liturgy is an art form. It consists of putting Midwinter," and then the story of the angel was a French carol calling for merriment as together text, music, and visual symbols... coming to tell Mary that she would give we approach Bethlehem. The Chapel birth to Jesus was read. This was followed Singers sang a selection from Felix by an exuberant setting of the Mendelssohn's Oratorio Christus - a "Magnificat" sung by the Chapel Singers. recitative performed by Alicia Ditta '03, a The "Magnificat" is the song of Mary, trio featuring William Jenkins '03, Adam these last years-, shocked at how much is Choir, and Ben Fordham '03, sang a piece rejoicing that God has chosen her, and Guzik '03, and Gregory Rubin '03, and still wrong with the world. And then you from Camille Saint-Saens, "Christmas looking forward to a time when the poor finally a Chorus about a star coming from hear the story of Adam and Eve, the myth Oratorio." It was a beautiful piece, deliv- and lowly shall be lifted up and the proud the family of Jacob that shall rule over the explaining humankind's alienation from ered well, the three voices blending and and the rich scattered. This setting is by entire world, destroying earthly kingdoms God. The Lord God sent him forth from twining around each other. Next, after a Robert Edward Smith, the Trinity College and bringing radiance and truth. the Garden of Eden, to till the ground from lesson telling the prophet to comfort my which he was taken. people ... speak tenderly to Jerusalem and Good liturgy,is an art form. It consists cry unto her that her warfare is ended, the Theater and liturgy both allow us a glimpse of of putting together text, music, and visual Chapel Singers sang a tender and delicate another world through a story that is powerful and symbols in a way that makes connections lullaby to the infant Jesus. and tells a good story. The most familiar The prophesies ended with a reading urgent. version of Lessons and Carols was written from Isaiah, telling about the coming of in 1918 by Dr. E. Milner-White, and it is the Messiah when the wolf shall dwell an attempt to put together a series of with the lamb and the leopard shall lie Composer-in-Residence, and featured The service ended with Odenweller Odenweller as the soprano soloist. 'With a performing a French lullaby to the infant Biblical readings and Christmas earols that do tell the story of humanJclHdTfaWe'B nsJtunS,' k estroy "|ft%f ^rftty'Tn^di'namircs and gorgeous JesusTand mbre~cardft, incJiidmg trie ever- harmonies, this piece expresses both the popular "Silent Night" and "O Come, All excitement and the solemnity of the Ye Faithful," on which the sopranos of the Magnificat. Chapel Singers and the Concert Choir sang The story of Jesus' birth was read, and a traditional descant. then the Concert Choir performed a setting The best art and the best liturgy have of the traditional English Carol" The Holly many things in common, one of which is and the Ivy," arranged by Reginald that they send us back out into the world Jacques. This piece featured canons and with a sense of transcendence and a desire tossed the melody around from sopranos to to carry their message out in our lives. altos, so that even though each verse had Theater and liturgy both allow us a the same melody, the song remained inter- glimpse of another world through a story esting. Holly and Ivy are both plants that that is powerful and urgent. And they chal- remain green throughout the winter, sym- lenge us to remember that world, to carry it bolizing eternal life. Various aspects of the with us in our hearts and minds. As we plants are compared to the lives of Mary enter the most stressful time of the school and Jesus. year, and re-enter the real world over our After this piece, he rest of the break, Lessons and Carols challenges us to Christmas story was read - the shepherds look past the limited world of exams and hear the news and go to Bethlehem, the Christmas specials on TV, to look at the Wise Men search for the child - and the world's sorrows and imperfections, and to Chapel Singers and Concert Choir per- work to bring about the heartbreaking formed more anthems. The Concert Choir beauty we saw briefly in that candlelit and sang two more carols; one of them was a evergreen chapel on a chilly Sunday lullabye to the children of Bethlehem as evening. A Big Screen of Boobies

continued from page 8 the giant video screen. Now, let me remind rock songs and scratching over them. I you that this was a Guns 'n Roses concert. understand that concerts such as these Guns. 'N. Roses. If you were committed draw ginourmous crowds in Europe, and I enough to throw down $42.50 for a ticket am willing to acknowledge that this can be to see a fat Axl Rose prancing on stage, a very subtle skill that deserves praise, but what would you expect to see on giant M&M&M didn't have it. When the screens? Yup, You guessed it. biggest cheer you get all night is for toss- The buxom young (and not infrequent-

...more skin than I expected...

ing on a record of someone else's song and ly busted old) ladies selected to be put up leaving it alone for two minutes (Beastie on screen frequently, nay, near invariably Boys - "Intergalactic." Hey, I would have gave in to either the alcohol-induced urge settled for Rafi by this point in time), that or the audience's urging to show a bit of has got to tell you something about, your skin. And by bit of skin, I mean more skin ability to please the audience. than I expected to see on Spring Weekend, The 30 minute Juliann session that was much less on a random December's Mix Master 5000's set felt immensely Tuesday night. This continued for nearly longer than the previous assault on my 45 minutes, at the end of which Ben musical sensibilities by Camp If You Sparrow, in one of the better lines of the Weren't Thinking About It Before You evening, put it the best. "I don't get to say www.trinitvtripod.com Certainly Are Now. By the time he vacat- this often, but I've seen enough boobs for ed the position of authority in center stage, one night." Finally, three hours after we I was ready for a break. This came in the arrived at the published time of 7:30, form of roving cameramen'hooked up to' iG'n'R took the stage. o.,,o Career Serwices 0 0 THE BEST WAY TO PREDICT YOUR FUTURE IS TO CREATE IT

££3 Resume deadlines on Trinity Recruiting through December 31, 2002 O'A Wednesday, December 11,2002 Friday, December 20,2002 Trinity College Conn. Policy and Economic Council — Program Assistant Gray Lodge, Shelter for Women — Therapist Harriet Beecher Stowe Center — Historic Interpreter - Part-time internship Thursday, December 12,2002 or Part-time job Trinity College Conn. Policy and Economic Council — Research & Evaluation National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders- 3 Asst. AN AD — Internship Trinity College Knox Parks Foundation — Office/Technology Assistant, Campus Universe Inc. — Campus Sales Representative Educational Programming, Horticultural Assistant Bushnell (The) — Human Resources, Finance/Accounting Trinity College America Reads —Readers Club Tutor, Tutor The Princeton Review — Campus Representative for the Princeton Review Friday, December 13,2002 Travelers — Information Technology Leadership Development Program Hyperion — Publicity Assistant KirklandSearch — Research Associates: Medicinal Chemistry, Accountant 3 Environment Northeast — Environmental Project Assistant Synapse Group Inc. — Associate IT Business Analyst, Associate Advantage Human Resourcing — Jr. Financial Analyst Programmer Hospital Albert Schweitzer — Chief Financial Officer Sears — Various Part-time ADP - Automatic Data Processing — Telemarketing Forrester Research — Research Associate-Cambridge, MA, Inside Sales ' Bushnell (The) — Gift Shop Merchandise Assistant, Sales Manager, Gift Shop Executive, Event Sales Representative, Research Associate-Amsterdam Assistant, Telefunding Callers, Box Office Velsicol Chemical Corporation — Environmental Project Coordinator Dowling & Partners Securities, LLC — Dowling Risk Analysis — Analyst Hunt/Gilbane — Document Control Clerk Position, Analyst Assistant Boston Wireless — Inside Sales Representative The Connection, Inc. — AIDS/HIV Counselor Strategic Sales & Marketing, Inc. (SSM) — Calling Center Staff - Full- Trinity College — Graduate Assistant for Operations, Graduate Assistant-Student time or Part-time Activities, Development Writer-Development Office, Assistant Director of Annual Tutoring Connections — Tutor Gi ving-Development Office, Visual Resources Librarian, Assistant Director of Clean Harbors Environmental Services, Inc.— Chemists International Programs Mad Science of Western New England — Instructor/Performer Phoenix Home Life Insurance — Assistant Internal Sales Consultant The Honeybaked Ham Company — Assistant Manager Implant Tracking Systems LLC — Software Intern The F.O.C.U.S. Institute of Film — Production Assistant and Future Film New Britain Parks and Recreation —Program Supervisors, Assistant Supervisors, Executive Training and Group Leaders Northwestern Mutual Financial Network — Financial Representative State Farm Insurance — Insurance Agency Staff Connecticut Public Broadcasting, Inc. — Pledge Production Assistant French Connection Group — Account Executives-New York City, Merchandise Eli Lilly and Company — Analytical Chemist-Quality Control, Analytical Assistant-New York City, Display Manager-New York City, Display Coordinators- Chemist-Product Development, Bioanalytical Chemist, Pharmaceutical New York City, Store Managers-New York City-New York Metro Area- Sales Representative Philadelphia, Manager-San Francisco, Assistant Managers-Boston-New York Interlochen, Center for the Arts — Summer Arts Camp Staff Metro Area YAI - National Institute for People with Disabilities — Family Fellowship Defense Contract Audit Agency (DC A A) — Office Automation Clerk Program, Various Internships, Various Summer and Holiday, Real Art Ways — Cafe staff Central European Science Journals — Proofreader/Editor Soundprint? —-PublishingIntern, Publishing Assistant Waters Construction Company — Project Engineer Southern Teachers Agency —Btementary Special Education Teacher Vacancy, San Juan Tutorial Program, Inc. — Educational Tutor afttBk^CM ***i FJwin«Ml Msnageihett Trainee ti-ijLi.1 -'-*£••— i y fteUMtnh (The) .— Community Researchers Crowne Plaza Hartford - Garage Attendant, Director of Operations, Catering Texas CriminaJ Justice Reform Coalition — Various Internships Sales Manager, Preferred/BTC Sales Manager, Sales Assistant, Buffet Attendant/ Merck Research Laboratories — Chemists Grill Cook, Server, Banquet Server, Banquet Bartender, Guest Service Hale House Center Inc. — Social Work: Coordinator of Childcare Representative Services, Communications/Design Specialist, Grants Writer The Trustees of Reservations — Web Master & Graphic Designer Florida Studio Theatre (FST) — Seasonal Internship Fleet Feet Sports for Women — Sales associate JMW Technology, LLC — Claims Consultant /Investigator with J.D. Mark Twain House (The) — Museum Retail Sales Associate Degree VeraNet Solutions — Sales Telemarketer Television Rental Company — Customer Service Representative-Hartford Bose — Demonstration Specialists Area and Farmington Area Community Baptist Church of Manchester, CT — Pianist-Part-time FleetBoston Financial — Data Entry/Clerical North American Family Institute — Direct Care Counselor (residential) - Full-time Democracy Matters — Campus Coordinator and Part-time Federal Bureau of Prisons — Correctional Officer-Danbury Connecticut Children's Medical Center —Prospect Research Intern FoodTemps — Product Demonstrator bnsite Companies, Inc. — Internal Recruiters National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) —- The Ethnic Minority Connecticut Policy and Economic Council (CPEC) — Project Coordinator Enhancement Postgraduate Scholarship, The Women's Enhancement Connecticut Parent Advocacy Center, Inc. (CPAC) — Administrative Assistant to Postgraduate Scholarship the Executive Director Children's Hospital Boston — Human Resource Assistant Capitol Child Development Center, Inc. —- Teacher (Early Childhood) Mortgage Lenders Network USA, Inc — Leadership Development United Services, Inc. —-Program Coordinator I, Adult Advocate, Case Manager- Program Care Coordination (2 openings), Outreach Worker, Housekeeper and Client Stolt Sea Farm, Inc. — QA Technician Support Assistant Town of Cheshire — Police/Emergency Dispatcher Connecticut Children's Health Project — Community Outreach Worker Forbes Special Interest Publications Inc. — Security Guard, Account J.C. Penney Company, Inc. — Seasonal/Part-Time Stockhandler Executive, Research Analyst Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College of Cornell University —Research Tuesday, December 24,2002 Coordinator, Account Administrator (Trainee), Senior Medical Secretary, Account The Institute for Professional Practice, Inc. —Program Specialist (several Administrator, Administrative Secretary-Qatar, Research Aide, Data Control Clerk, positions) Account Representative, Research Technician I Greenpeace — Climate Campaign Coordinator Sunday, December 29,2002 Bio-Science Environmental Services, Inc. — Environmental Intern Trinity College Community Service — Do It Day Coordinator, Habitat for Northfield Mount Hermon School — Summer 2003 Teaching Intern Program Humanity Coordinator Town of West Hartford — Police Officer Monday, December 30,2002 U.S.-China Education and Culture Exchange Center —Teach in China Trinity College Community Service — Pre-Orientation Program Mather Corporation — Construction Superintendent and Foremen Coordinator, Project Assistant, Visibility/Public Relations Coordinator, IKON Business Document Services — Assistant Manager (3rd shift), Document Graduation Pledge Coordinator, Annual Events Coordinator, U-Pass Specialist (several positions) Coordinator, Coordinator of Community Service Clearinghouse, Office Frost Valley YMCA — Director of the Forstmann Conference Center at Frost Coordinator, Website Coordinator, Assistant Project Coordinators Valley YMCA Excel-Vartec Communications —Telecommunications Sales UnitedHealth Group — Customer Reporting & Analysis The Institute for Professional Practice, Inc. — House Manager/Facility Institute for Community Research (The) — Prevention Research Educator Coordinator, Residential Instructor (Full arid Part-time), Family Support YMCA-Greater Hartford — Program Director, Database Administrator Instructor Sunday, December 15,2002 Tuesday, December 31,2002 The ABC Radio Station Group — Sales Internship-Spring 2003 Unilever — Integration Lab Distribution Coordinator, Desktop Support Wednesday, December 18,2002 Analyst - Franklin Park, IL Choate Rosemary Hall—Teaching Internship The Honeybaked Ham Company — Assistant Manager Alan Jon Smally, MD FACEP — Home Helper The ABC Radio Station Group •— Independent Contractor, WABC-AM/ Account Executives, 1050 AM ESPN Radio/Account Executive Thursday, December 19,2002 The Institute for Professional Practice, Inc. — Assistant Facility Trinity College Life Sciences — Lab Prep Assistant Coordinator, ABA Therapist Connecticut State Golf Association —P.J. Boatwright, Jr. Internship and Liberal Arts Careers DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD FEATURES PAGE 13 Sex Toys, Liquor, and Lots of Fun at the Psi-U Formal Why I Hate My Brothers and Their Drunken Party Hilarity and Fun at My New Favorite Place, Psi U KEVIN ALEXANDER two other brothers and their dates and In order to clear up any misconceptions that night. FEATURESWRITER crammed them all into my cherry red that may exist, as a result of a past article of Plus, my table was fortunate enough to Porsche 911 turbo. (All right, I don't have mine (see "A Change of Pace for Late enjoy the company of one extremely enthu- I know what you all are thinking. Well, a Porsche but the sad thing is that I'll bet Night"), about my feelings concerning a siastic (and about as equally intoxicated) actually, I really have no idea what anyone most of you didn't even flinch when you forty-something named Linda, is thinking but I am willing to bet that if read that. You rich snobby bastards.) who approached us to comment you know me, you think I love Psi-U. You Jenny Dunn Psi-U has the tradition that all the on how incredibly great we think that the Psi-U Annual Winter Formal Maybe It's Me brothers in the class go to the same restau- looked, and then found it appro- Classic Dance Extravaganza and Buffet is rant and this year someone picked the certain establishment known as Psi priate to announce that her husband had left the culmination of my year and one of the Trumbull Kitchen. No, wait, everyone in Upsilon, I want to take this opportunity to her. relate my most recent experience with Psi On her way out of the restaurant, she U—that is, Friday night's date party. made quite the offer to one of the broth- She eyed me suspiciously and said, "Aren't you the You're probably wondering why any ers—I'm thinking that there was a mid-life kid who was sexually harassing me in the gym?" brother would invite to his holiday semi- crisis involved. formal a girl who notoriously hates his frat. Dinner was so-so (but free for me, so Actually, your guess is as good as mine. don't think that I'm complaining). By the I'm still puzzling over it. time it was over, we were all ready to get to reasons I don't transfer to Hobart. I mean, Psi-U picked the Trumbull Kitchen. I left The night began when my date (who Psi U and get drunk. don't take my word for it. Ask my my car for the valet and awkwardly avoid- would probably like to remain anonymous, After all, that's really the point of these "friends." ed eye contact with the guy so 1 didn't have considering he asked such a huge nerd to things, isn't it? As I do for each of my well researched to tip. Unlike, other dates I know, mine the party) picked me up at my room. It was almost eleven o'clock when we and thought provoking articles, I asked decided that the 1200 dollars that we spend Pretty gentlemanly for a frat guy, right? got back to campus. A lot of people had Ramsey Ramadan '03, a fellow Psi-U on alcohol for the party wasn't enough, so He gave the obligatory, "You look nice had drinks with dinner, or had skipped din- "bro" (that's street slang for brother) to she ordered two 8 dollar martinis. tonight," which 1 have to admit, I did. ner and gone right to the drinks. define the correlation between my fraterni- To make matters worse, I got nervous We proceeded, with another brother I, on the other hand, had stuck with ty and my individual well-being and inter- when the waitress came over and ordered and his date, to the Trumbull Kitchen for water at dinner (not wanting to incur any ests. After gently explaining what correla- the chicken, which is sort of like going to dinner, where at least two-thirds of Psi U more costs on my date, of course), so I was tion means, he astutely replied, "Well, you Ben and Jerry's and asking for vanilla. The suck at pong". conversation at the table was awkward and Unimpressed, 1 forged on, asking annoying, ranging from what was in the Another brother was polite enough to apologize for Frank Saviano '03, the Fraternity President spread that came with the bread (answers no lesSi He thoughtfully articulated, "How varied from goat cheese to soy milk) to dif- sexually harassing me in the gym a few weeks ago did you get in here? I thought I locked my ferent embarrassing bathroom events door. Seriously, get out of my room, its 4 in encountered at a summer in Cape Cod. the morning. Why do you have a flash- Intelligent banter at its finest, believe you had decided to eat. one of the very few sober people in the light?" - ..: rne..,. .,,. . ,.. . .' .•..., •,.-, . .My date, and 1 sat at a table with six house. •.-•,-. As you can clearly see from those quo- We entered the house at around 10:30 people that I didn't know, and while I had As I was starting to sip my first drink, tations, I hate Psi-U and its Winter Formal. and after • seeing the beautiful -Christmas been worried that, dinner would be awk- a friend came up to me and pointed to her- Let me explain. .,.. , -•:•.;,•,•...•..: decorations, for one briefs fleeting .second, ward, the conversation never completely self. "Blackout," she said. I had a lot of The night started off with a bang when I became nostalgic about the brotherhood, faltered. • catching up to do. I went to pick up my date, who only went friendships past and the spirit of Christmas. At one point it came up that I write for The party itself was pretty much all-out with me on the stipulation that 1 admitted to However, those thoughts soon disappeared the Tripod. "Oh right," was the reply, "You chaos. At no point during the night was I her that I have no other friends, along with see DRUNK on page 15 hate Psi U." It was the first of many times see FUN on page 15

Career Services THE BEST WAY TO PREDICT YOUR FUTURE IS TO CREATE IT MORE Resume Deadlines on Trinity Recruiting — January 1 -February^ 2003

Wednesday, January 1,2003 Tuesday, January 21,2003 Groton School — Teacher Intern Trinity College VNA Health Care, Inc — Information Systems Assistant (IAESTE) The International Association for the Exchange of Students for Technical Wednesday, January 22,2003 Experience — Internships The Jerome Levy Forecasting Center, LLC — Research Analyst Thursday, January 2,2003 Friday, January 24,2003 Gleacher and Company — Financial Analyst Position Colonial Surety Company — Sales Trainees Trinity College Life Sciences— Teaching Assistant - BIOL152 Thursday, January 30,2003 Trinity College Anthropology, Education, International Studies — Office Assistant Camelot Pictures — Entertainment Industry Intern-Summer Trinity College Graduate Studies — Student Worker Trinity College Citizen Ed. Network — Organizer Assistant Trinity College Ferris Athletic Center — Recruiting Assistant, Office Assistant Friday, January 31,2003 Trinity College Engineering—• Network Administrator Synapse Group Inc. — Business Development Associate, Associate Analyst Trinity College Residential Life— Office Assistant ^ Trinity College Admissions—Student Admissions Associate Friday, January 3,2003 Crowne Plaza Hartford — Greeter, Kiosk Attendant, Sales Manager (Corporate and The Greenwich Country Day School — Co-Teacher Program SMERFE), Server City of New York — Government Scholars Program (Summer) American Cancer Society—Research Fellowship-Summer The Coro Foundation — The Coro Fellows Program in Public Affairs Winant and Clayton Volunteers, Inc. (WCV) — Volunteer Abroad Saturday, January 4,2003 James H. Dunn, Jr. Memorial Fellowship and Vito Maratllo Internship — Government Teach For America 2002-2003 — Teach For America Corps Member Fellowship Tuesday, January 7,2003 Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute (CHCI) —• CHCI2003 Summer Internship The Kate Neal Kinley Memorial Fellowship (University of Illinois) — Fellowship-Fine John F. Ke'nnedy School — Various Teaching Positions and Applied Arts Saturday, February 1,2003 Wednesday, January 8,2003 Joan and Sanford I. Weill Medical College of Cornell University — Weill Graduate United States Golf Association (USGA) — USGA Fellowship School Summer Research Program Friday, January 10,2003 Roswell Park Cancer Institute — Summer Research Participation in Research National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) — Ethnic Minority and Women's St. Paul's School — Teaching Fellowship, The Advanced Studies Program (summer) Internship Program Internship Phillips Academy — The Andover Teaching Fellowship City of New York — Urban Fellows Program Trinity College Southend Community Services — Tutor, Trainer Intern Wednesday, January 15,2003 Boys & Girls Clubs of Hartford—Group/Program Leader PROTEX (Network for a Progressive Texas) — Website/Technology Volunteer or Monday, February 3,2003 Intern El Pomar Foundation — El Pomar Fellowship Penguin Putnam, Inc. — Publishing Internship-Spring Tuesday, February 4,2003 Travelers Life and Annuity — Annuity Customer Service Representative Trinity College Capitol Region Education CounciHCREC) — Program Assistant Phillips Academy — (MS)2 Teaching Assistant-Summer Opportunity Monomoy National Wildlife Refuge — Biological Intern Please visit Trinity Recruiting for application information at: Eastern Massachusetts National Wildlife Refuge Complex — Biological Intern http://trincoll.erecruiting.com L.E.K- Consulting — Summer Associate Thursday, January 16,2003 We're available Monday through Friday, 8:30 AM to 5:00 PM Brant Publications, Inc. — Human Resources Intern Walk-in hours are 12:00 to 5:00 PM Northfield Mount Hermon School — Various Internships Wednesday night walk-ins from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM Friday, January 17,2003 International Institute of New Jersey—Asylee Outreach Worker, Case Manager Wednesday night walk-ins will resume January 22, 2003 Saturday, January 18,2003 Visit Trinity Exchange daily for up-to-date Hartford Hospital — Summer Student Fellowship Program Career Services announcements and event listings THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 PAGE 14 FEATURES An On-line Shopping Guide The End of The Underground 100 sets available). My personal favorite KENDALL CHURCH had to be the pouches made from Kangaroo ourselves this, who among us hasn't beaten FEATURES WRITER scrotum ($17.50 each, 12 available). As BART PACKWELL HI someone to death with a frozen mammal? FEATURES WRITER Ahh, Christmas... this time of year great as eBay may seem, use caution when I'm not about to start pointing fingers. brings thoughts of carols, snow, and of bidding. I don't recommend buying elec- Well then, ladies and gents, it's time to Well, Matthew. I hope that answers your course, gift shopping. However, many of us tronic items through eBay. What you see is close out a semester. I hope everyone had question. are either a) too busy with finals, b) don't what you may not get, so try and steer clear a good time at their homes or whatnot over Due to the arduous exam final that own a car (applicable to most froshies), or of purchasing $50 laptops and $5 scanners. Thanksgiving and have come back with many Trinity students find themselves a c) just too damn lazy to get over to Read the fine print. Before you whip renewed energy in order to complete what, part of, the Underground will be open until Westfarms and do the mall crawl. out your credit card and transfer the num- for some, has been a harrowing semester. 1 one in the morning all this week. And, I'll Never fear- we live in the era of doing bers over copper and fiber, make sure you everything online, including holiday shop- read over the merchant's policies. The pri- ping. For many, this is a great alternative to mary policy you want to see is their return 5a pending the release of my book and a potential braving the crowds and chaotic mess of tra- policy. Some sadistic merchants will talk show, I might not be gracing the Trinity College ditional holiday shopping. One of the won- charge you a restocking fee for returning derful things about shopping online is items even if they are defective. Many mer- campus with my presence next semester. doing in the privacy of your own room and chants will charge a restocking fee for in the comfort of your pajamas at 2 AM. return of items that are not defective, so Here are a few tips on how to make the best make sure you are sure you want a particu- have no special events at the Underground be there signing copies of my new book, of your e-shopping endeavors. lar item before you go blowing your that I'll be trying to push today. No, it's Who let the dogs out? An exploration of allowance on it. Also, make sure the mer- Do your homework. That $59.99 just you and me reader, alone, with our the hook up scene at Trinity College. In chant lists their customer service telephone karaoke machine for Great Uncle Al may thoughts, maybe a bottle of nice wine and this book I explore the intricacies of "hook- numbers, customer service e-mail address- seem like a great deal on one site, but do a some candles. Wait, wait, sorry. I guess ing up" while "shitfaced" on the Trinity es, and the full company name and address little more searching and you could very it's just been a while since my last roman- College campus. on their web site. well be saving yourself some dough. You tic encounter and all the talk of stuffing in In it I have insightful interviews with can easily do this by logging onto a site like Don't forget shipping costs! Many the past few weeks has gotten me a little the Administration, students, and the mysimon.com or pricewatch.com. online stores are offering free shipping for excited. grounds staff that has to deal with the after- Check the reviews. Not sure how reli- the holidays, but make sure you place your I'm going to go straight to reader let- math with trysts go awry ("We once had to able that Salad Shooter is that you're plan- order in time. Sure, a product online may ters this week. I received a letter from one scrape vomit off of the inside of a ning on getting for your mom? Go to epin- seem like a steal, but if it's December 23, Matthew Kozlowski who said, "I've been wardrobe. And guess what we found when ions.com and you can read users' reviews good luck getting it before Christmas rolls following your column every week, Bart, we got it all up? A human skull," said a on various products- not just your everyday around. Of course, there's always the and there have been a few pressing ques- Trinity College employee that wishes to gadgets, but things like fragrances and magic of FedEx, but who wants to spend tions that I've needed to ask. What's the remain anonymous). action figures, too. If you're searching for $30 on shipping? In that case you'd be bet- deal with the smoothie machine? I heard So, pending the release of my book and more technical assessments, try the old ter off heading to the mall.Still unsure of a that it was broken because a dead baby had a potential talk show, I might not be grac- Consumer Reports stand-by (consumerre- vendor site? Go to bizrate.com, resellerrat- gotten stuck it in when Andy was trying to ing the Trinity College campus with my ports.com). Unfortunately, you have to pay ings.com, or the Better Business Bureau whip up a special smoothie for Terrell, is presence next semester. It's been a good in order to read the reports on this site, but (bbbonline.org). All have ratings or this true?" run. Actually, who am I kidding, it's been there are always the print editions. In addi- reviews of certain online shopping sites, so Well, Matthew, 1 have to say I've taken horrible. tion, if you're \ooking for detailed reviews you can check and make sure you're not more than a little heat for mentioning dead I got chased by a freshman and a goril- on techno-geek items, go to zdnet.cowv or going to get ripped off before submitting this had«ti 1i*#, itt tHe hfeating ducts for weeks, got shot down every time I went to tw ceniored. 7n fact, I just was censored, but tlie Tap (who knew giils with pcails weie you who don'( know what eBay is : eBay is The majority of online shopping sites none of you readers will be able to tell. So, looking for guys who have a hard time fig- an online auction site that allows members require payment with a credit card. The in terms of the dead baby smoothie thing, uring out where their fly is, let alone zip- to list items for auction. The items are post- exception is eBay- many sellers will take let me get a few things straight. James ping it up) and lost my job spying for the ed for a specified number of days, and PayPal or Billpoint, which allows for wire Stevens has never broken the smoothie Administration. users can bid on items accordingly. The transfers of funds from your bank account. machine, ever. Terrell does not eat meat. Really, the only thing I have gotten out highest bidder wins (obviously) and usual- Before checking out your online order, In fact, I heard he only eats rice pilaf and of my stay here is all the wonderful materi- ly has to pay shipping/handling fees on the make sure the checkout process is through drinks only condensed milk. This would al for my book. But, enough of my whin- item(s). You can pretty much find anything a secure server (a little lock should appear explain why he refuses to take the stairs ing, I look forward to seeing you all in this on eBay. From one visit to the "Weird in the status bar at the bottom of the when there's an elevator available. last week of the Fall semester. Stuff page, I found auctions for the screen). That way it's virtually impossible And then there's Andrew James Come on down, drink a latte with me, "White Guy's Guide to Pimpin'" (starting for hackers to steal your credit card infor- Breiner. What more can I say about the and give me one more chance for love. I'm bid $4.99), "The Anarchist's Cookbook" mation.Happy clicking! man behind the myth? Sure, he may have how going to cry myself to sleep. • (also a $4.99 starting bid), and penis- sold his soul to Satan, but we must all ask Good day. shaped salt and pepper shakers ($8.00/set, The Best Things To Do When Not Doing Work On Line

MAGGIE DOWNING at all times. Away messages can range ed monkey doll appears on the left side of 3)Bored.com - from the mundane "Class and then grab- the screen, and a hand on the right. Your (http://www.bored.com) To visit this site, FEATURES WRITER bing some lunch" to random quotes, lyrics, task is to click on the hand, and then drag it you must first come to terms with the fact As we begin finals week a lot of time or links to bizarre websites but all are equal across the screen, spanking the monkey. that your work is simply not going to get will be devoted to studying, writing papers in their procrastination value. Profiles You will then be informed of how fast you done. Then you may begin to enjoy the and other academic endeavors. However, allow users to express themselves prefer- spanked the monkey (in miles per hour). If immense list of links Bored offers. They much time will also be spent on a skill well ably through a line from a song by John you need motivation to spank the monkey, range from Cyber Fireworks honed by college students - procrastina- Mayer, a line from a song by Dave just imagine your professor's face, chances (http://www.cyberfireworks.com) where tion. Matthews and a funny quote from a room- are your speeds will increase exponentially. you can create your own online fireworks In a dorm room alone there are myriad mate or friend. An added bonus is a sub 6) Pedestrian Killer- (http://killer.flab- show, to Terra Server possibilities of procrastination, but the profile (even more space for lyrics and oratorium.org/) This site is for the violent (http://terraserver.microsoft.com) where mother load awaits on the vastness that is quotes) or a link to one of those "How Well that resides deep within everyone. It is you can zoom in on satellite images close the Internet. Do You Know Me?" quizzes. especially effective in the early hours of the enough to find your house (most of the I will share with you now my ten 8) Lyric Websites - There are a pletho- morning, when you start to wonder if the images are from a few years ago, so things favorite ways to procrastinate online. ra of websites offering lyrics to songs, and paper would still be due in a few hours if like Summit Suites don't exist). 10) Downloading MP3s-Although the not only will you be able to expand your your professor mysteriously "disappeared." 2) Lost In . Translation - bandwidth of the server for the Trinity net- profile, you won't have to look like an idiot The main point of this site is to kill as many (http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/) If work has slowed down the speed of down- by singing the wrong words to Dispatch's people as possible. You are a car, and your you need to de-stress and giggle a little loads, that should not stop you from having "The Genera!". A few of my favorites: job is to run over unsuspecting pedestrians check out this wonderful site. You type in Adam Sandler's third Hanukkah Song or N Lyrics Find (http://www.lyricsfind.com), as they attempt to cross the street. anything, and it translates your input to five Sync's latest holiday hit for your Seasonal LetsSingIt.com (http://letssingit.com) and 7) Daily Jolt Forum - (http://trinity.dai- different languages, and back to English Mix List for your next party. The key here Lyric Mania (http://www.lyricmania.com). lyjolt.com/forum) The Jolt forum may have each time. For example, "Have a great is to be patientj and while you're waiting On. a tangent, "The Archive of Misheard decreased in usage since the policy changes for a song to download, check out some- vacation" after all the translation ends up as Lyrics" (http://www.KissThisGuy.com) were made, but it still offers pages of point- thing else online. The anticipation of a new "It has great festivities." The results can presents a hysterical collection of misheard less arguments as well as camaraderie song will surely prevent you from giving get pretty bizarre. song lyrics. The title of the website comes between those still posting at 4 AM while all your attention to that pesky thesis. from a classic misheard line from a Jimi 1) Strong Bad- (http://www.homestar- they attempt to write a paper. runner.com/sbemail.html) Welcome to the 9) Away Messages/Profiles - Anyone Hendrix song, "Excuse me while I kiss the 4) EMode - (http://www.emode.com) world of Strong Bad, a cartoon character who's anyone knows that AOL Instant sky" The self titled "#1 Destination for Self- who checks his e-mail every Monday and Messenger is the desired form of commu- 7) Spank the Monkey Discovery" is a surplus of quizzes. These replies with much humor and sarcasm. It is nication on the Trinity campus. AIM is (http://www.vectorlounge.com/04_amster- aren't your typical personality type hard to explain why exactly Strong Bad also a great way to procrastinate, especial- dam/jam/flamjam.html) If you have yet to quizzes, these offer deep insight into your and all his buddies in Strong Badia are so ly if you're a stalker and want to know experience the joy of spanking the monkey, psyche through which type of dog breed addictive, but just one visit and you'll be where someone is and what they're doing you must check out this website. An inflat- you are, are who your inner rock star is. captivated. Watch them all! DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD FEATURES PAGE 15 Rants of a Psi U Brother rpystfcaL BOB

continued from page 13 My personal pickup was a movie enti- when I saw one brother doing a keg stand tled "Asian Sex Swappers". ] think it is a Jpaornnflbe OoRtih paLe while another informed everyone around romantic comedy. him that he had most recently "ripped ass". After the gifts, things begin to get out AQXJAPUUS L.GO The scene at the party can be summed of hand. I will not divulge just how far out up in a phrase I like to call "organized of hand but let me just say that getting hit OANUAft.y 20 - Fe&rujAft-y 18 Out_y 23 - AUSUST 22 chaotic mayhem". in the head with a dildo smarts. This Week. I've decided to make my Up here in the North Pole, I've discovered First of all, it is basically a meat mar- At this point, 1 attempted to locate my Way up to the North Pole in order to that Santa's famous "naughty" and nice" ket. Girls are walking around in exquisite- date to thank her for the wonderful evening find Santa's Workshop. That Way. I can Lists are only two of the many that he ly revealing dresses that scream, "I go to and inquire whether I could freshen up her the gym for so much longer than you. Now 7th martini of the night and possibly offer steal all of his toys, and sell them on keeps. J-le also has a "£>ig Ugly Losers look at my boobs." her a platonic escort back to her room when the black market Nice plan, huh? who jJaVe No friends and Also. Pid I The guys are frantically crowding 1 see her engaged in lip activity with a foot- Now, you maybe asking. "\Vhat does Mention Ugly" list. CjWss which one this have to do With the Aquarius?" you're on. I'LL give you a hint It doesn't After the gifts, things begin to get out of handJ will Well, nothing really. &ut, then again, begin With "n." who cares about Aquarius? not divulge just how far out of hand but let me just say that getting hit in the head with a dildo smarts. K/iCLGO 20 AUGUST 23 - SE*>T£M&EA. 22 around the bar, trying to chug as much ball player who was not even a brother in £>o. IVe made it to the North PoLe lv|y magical ball shows you decorating alcohol as they possibly can as if there is a the house. door prize for the first black out. Undaunted, I headed back to the bar and I've come to find that this place is your quaint little house With more Lights Our chef prepares a huge mass of deli- where I observed different groups of broth- as frigid as a Pisces' girlfriend. Oven and hoLiday crap than the entire city of cious food that people nervously poke at ers attempting to smash all the bottles on though I'm em this quest. I'm so dedi- New York, por Clod's sake, take R.udoLph when they are first there and then proceed the floor. cated to my job as your "star reader' off the roof, -5anta off the chimney, and to aggressively maul by the end of the I had the sense that I knew what Piggy that I'm Qo'mg to try to do the horo- the elves off the Lawn. And don't forget night. felt like in Lord of the Flies surrounded by scopes while on this quest. As far as to take down the Lights, cuz there is noth- I saw one brother eating a spring roll chaos, anarchy and drunken children with I can teLL you're going to haVe a happy ing more annoying than flashing Christmas inside of a cracker and cheese sandwich paint on their face. holidays. Lights in July. and dipping it simultaneously in gua- My point is this: Look, you don't have camole, salsa and cocktail sauce. to be a sophomore writer for the Tripod or Another highlight involved me seeing a in the Hall to hale Psi-U. fellow Tripod columnist and, because I had All the generalizations made about our Awes never met her, informing her that I think lovely academic fraternity are true. 21- Apfut-19 SEPTEM&Eft. 23 - OCTO&EA. 22 her articles are hilarious and sitting back Everyone is a meathead, misogynist, VeLL, weLL After multiple Weeks of Mystical &ob sees an unfortuneate and waiting for her to compliment me immature jock who thinks only about mak- back. ing out and bench pressing. the stars saying you're cool, finally the holiday occurence in your future. She eyed me suspiciously and, said, Don't believe me? Head to the gym at truth will come out in this, the final While attempting to light the final "Aren't you the kid who was sexually 4 on any given week day and it looks as if installment of my mysticaL genious. candle on the Last night of hanukkah. rtarassing me in the gym?" we have mandatory Fitness expectations for The best part about this trip to the you knock over the menorah starting a After numerous apologies and a small the brotherhood. North Pole is that I haVe found the chatastrophic fire that enguLfs your monetary settlement, she informed me that So hate the sweaty, orgy inducing, only species that Will consider you entire neighborhood. \VoW. that Wasn't she had never read anything I wrote. Cancunian, airless basement filled with romantically is a R.eindeer. a Very smart of you, now Was tip own stuff andIntramurarin^ralT^^'''WP" f^SliBUp^WWs^ibWmn for a rea- ig*rnat awtul "Hey Ma song by Camrbn son. Watch out for antlers. Fortuitously, it was time for the gift on repeat. .V : . opening. The tradition is that every brother Hate the fight starting assholes who TAUftJJS gets a gift for a girl and a guy. won't get you a beer unless you are blonde The unspoken tradition is that if these and your first name ends in an T, APP.IL. 20 - OCTO&QA. 23 - MovEM&eft. 21 things do not come from either Erotic And, for god sakes, hate the idiots who According to the stars, and Santa's - since this is the Last time I Empire or some other equally classy sexu- come to your fraternity and steal and break al merchandise handler (like the gas station stuff and then eat all your food. list, you've been naughty this year. Will be looking into my mystical globe by the Tap) they are immediately discard- Just let me into the Hall. Very.very naughty. In a case such as for your future, I haVe decided to look ed. Seriously. this, the only remedy is a mystical beyond the scope of the holidays and spanking. £>o come on Wer baby and guide you in choosing a New Year's Let me see if my mystical powers can Resolution. This year you should do Fun at The Psi-U Formal get you back on Santa's good side. more schooL Work. Watch Less TV and Turn off the Lights and close the do', eat more Vegetables, continued from page 13 A few guys I didn't even know were but for what I don't Love dem... able to look around me and not see some- pretty eager to fetch drinks for me. True, thing hysterically funny happening. While one of them shouted "Girl!" to get my we're on the subject, I just want to pause attention, but it's okay—I'm not going to SAGITTAftJUS for a moment to appreciate Chef Dan. He pretend that I knew his name either. just might be cooler than Snoop, and damn, Anyway, I was kind of relieved that he -Oui_y 22 MoVGM&Eft. 22 - £>ECeMG>Eft. 21 can that man cook. didn't know who I was. I think I'd rather This is not the greatest and best horo- •6ince my mystical sister is a -iagittafius One of the night's best moments may be "Girl" than "Jenny Dunn who writes for scope in the World. This is just a tribute, and she has not been too happy With the have been the gift exchange. the Tripod and hates Psi U". On that musicaL note, the stars show you I wasn't aware, upon agreeing to go to Another brother was polite enough to fortune the I have been bringing to her this ordeal, that I was going to get a pres- apologize for sexually harassing me in the caroling your winter break away, bo get each Week, I have decided to, look deep ent, so imagine my excitement when all of gym a few weeks ago. your pipes ready for singing the nights Within my globe for some good news to us dates were ordered to grab a gift, hand- And, after the party had disintegrated aWay with a bunch of derelects and old bestow upon my -Sagittarius friends. foLks who have nothing better to do with Sagittarius - the coming new year is going their Lives than get hammered and annoy to bring With it the best years of your life. A few guys I didn 't even know were pretty eager to their neighbors. E>e young, haVe fun and never forget your fetch drinks for me. True, one of them shouted "Girl!" underwear in some random guy's rooml to get my attention but it's okay. CAPftJCOft.NI - Ou<_y 22 £}ECEM&£fl- 22 - OANUAfi-y 13 picked by a Psi U brother, from under the to the point where a number of the guys tree. were suddenly shirtless, and only one cou- The stars forsee you having a few too •Uappy birthday Capricorn. It sucks to I have never in my life seen so many ple with nowhere else to go remained many cups of holiday cheer and stumbling have your birthday during the hoLidays sex toys in one place (or at least that's what swaying on the dance floor, my date through the holidays in a never ending because, since everyone insists, on giv- I want you to think). walked me right up to my door. And no hangover. Qet a life you Lush. In your ine- ing you the "Christmas/Birthday" gift. As to my own present, I'll leave it up to further. briated state, your town pefc\ce wiLL find you get jipped on presents. Also, you the imagination—all I'll say is that some See? There's at least a keeper or two in you stuck in your neighbor's chimney, then have nothing else to Look forward other girl took it away from me and when that house. dressed as 6anta With a toy train in one to for the rest of the year. I Wonder if she returned it, shortly after, it was broken. My point is that, while Psi U may not hand and your antler in the other. Jesus had the same problem? Seriously though, my experience on be perfect—well, isn't perfect—the truth is Friday provided proof that frat guys aren't that what I hate is the fact that I don't hate all loud, immature, misogynist meatheads. it. So there. It's out. I'm a Psi U junkie. I There seemed to be a certain amount of should form a support group. respect for, even servility towards the By the way, does this get me invited to women present. the next date party? PAGE 16 FEATURES THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 Holidays are a time of Giving: You Giving Me Things was the same kid who came to trol that came with the system BRIAN PUTT lunch everyday with a bag of while 1 run in place. For the three ROCKS HARD Now-and Laters, Atomic of you reading this article, buy "Hi, my name is Brian Dutt Fireballs or some other candy and me both of these things and figure and I am a pretty, pretty pathetically bought his way into out how 1 can put a game into the princess." everybody's friendship (and the Nintendo without blowing on it, all-star dodgeball game after fidgeting with it, or sacrificing This article is about nothing. school). If you have $200 and Mark Hurley '03 to the gods Our band is practicing blah blah want to buy me something, you above to make it work. blah. We're playing at Sully's should not buy me a hot pink Pub on Thursday night. Girls are When I was a young buck, 1 Barbie Ferrari powerwheels, and going to fall in love with all three always wanted a pair of Reebok you should not go right now of us, Blah blah blah. Most guys Pumps....not to be confused with before they sell out (call for direc- probably will too blah blah blah. my roommate Henry Mahegan tions). Jackie O' Brien '05 thinks that '05 who always wanted a pair of licking toads gives you warts and Next, I want all the original Easy Spirit pumps and a backless provides no recreational value Nintendo accessories. I don't ballgown with sequents. For blah blah blah. Here is what 1 know if you all saw the movie those of you that don't know, I am want for Christmas The Wizard, starring The from the Bronx, and I am incred- Wonderyears' Fred Savage, but ibly tough...but I am an atrocious First of all, I saw a commer- Super Mario Brother's 3 is com- basketball player. "Whitemen cial for power wheels the other ing out, and I need a Powerglove. can't jump"? More like day, and I remember how My god mom, how can you "Whiteman can't jump, shoot, run destroyed ! was as a kid when my expect me lo learn any of life's in a straight line, touch his nose, mom refused lo get me one. I told BRIAN Dim or say 'I'm open' without drool- Pow Pow Powerwheels... ing on himself." ing stutters that I must peace, a bumper sticker that reads / wanted a pair of Reebok Pumps....not But Reebok Pumps offered a have one,I want the hover- "Charleton Heston is my to be confused with Henry Mahegan '05 ray of sunlight in my otherwise board from Back to the Future II, President." If all else fails, buy uncoordinated and offensive bas- my little pony, a real pony, a New me love. who wanted a pair of Easy Spirit pumps. ketball game. They also gave me Kids on the Block poster So when you return home for a chance to be coolest thing on Autographed by All 4 One, an X- your infinitely long Christmas the playground since the kid who rated "Where's Waldo" Book fea- vacation, sitting in front of the had all the holograms in the x- turing Nancy Drew, a pogo stick, her all that all the kids from the lessons if 1 can't actually pretend fire, making gingerbread men, men trading card collection....at a date with the Cartoon April sandbox were going to have both to be punching Glass Jaw Joe, basting a Christmas ham, going least until I stepped in dogdoo. O'Neil from Ninja Turtles, the new shovels and various power- Piston Honda or King Hippo in door to door caroling with your rocket pack from the movie the wheels, and that my snoopy Mike Tyson's punch out. Just My mom actually got me family, robbing people's houses Rocketeer, a turtle dove, a bb gun skateboard was too pedestrian. think about how universal the pumps once. Now that I look and then giving them the gifts you glove is. You can use it in so like in the movie A Christmas Mom didn't really see the back on it, they were the ugliest, stole as if you bought them: many games. Like...for and most awkward looking shoes Story, laser tag, a real laser, remember, the holidays are a time value in a plastic car for kids, but copies of The Hardy Boys: I did. It would expand my imag- instance...Tetris...or...Tecmo I ever owned. I'm pretty sure for giving. Super Bowl. Well, you can imag- they reached up to my knees, Diplomatic Deceit and Matt So give me a lot of nice, ination I told her. Well, I didn't Chistopher's "The Fox Steals ine what it would be like. weighed 5 pounds apiece and had thoughtful, and most importantly, get one, and neither did Pigpen, Home," 700 slap bracelets, Zack I also want the Powerpad, and neon green stripes. But I was expensive gifts that I can return or Schroder, or Lucy, or any of and Tori from Saved By The Bell I won't take no for an answer. No cool then, and I'm sure I'd be for cash and have a happy holi- my other childhood friends. I to get together, a Polar Bear thg^ it's not the same as putting my cool now. Someborl> bu> me actually don't think V ve ever seen 4*l«3«jide>Miwcyi*stma- stnglfack' a powerwheels. Vt» and play? / TrraTiTlle fails..,.alH want:4|jii< up Vocal for our band, world i i ; m • "Cfinstrhas:;.!S y6u'..L';'" "•'••••"•i-':-™ # '•

Before last weekend, the only thing he'd ever burned was a CD. Although fire fighters do everything they can to prevent burns, more than 2.5 million burn injuries occur in North America each year. Most could be prevented. To learn more about our "Don't Get Burned" Hi campaign, please visit www.IAFFBurnFund.org. BURN FOUNDATION This message is brought to you by the International Association of Fire Fighters. Harold A. Schaitberger, General President DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD ANNOUNCEMENTS PAGE 17 Lectures Miscellaneous

Nobel Laureate Coming to Trinity in February "A Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas" at the Hartford Stage The former President of Costa Rica and Nobel Peace AIL students are welcome to take a break from exam Laureate, Dr. Oscar Arias, is coining Trinity to spread The celebrated holiday story written by Charles Dickens studies and be served a deluxe breakfast by members of his message to our community. Dr. Arias is widely comes alive in this adaptation by Director Michael Wilson. Trinity's faculty and administration including President respected as a spokesman forlhe Third World. Applying The tale of Scrooge, Tiny Tim and the Ghosts of Christmas jJersh. Always fun and a good excuse for procrastination! the lessons he learned as a central figure in the Central Past, Present and Future returns to the Hartford Stage this American Peace Process, he has traveled the world season for a fifth performance. The show runs nearly daily Tuesday. Pec, 10 - IO;OO PM - I20O AM - Mather jJaLL championing causes such as human development, till December 28. Several performances have already sold democracy, and demilitarization. An eye-opening event out; advance ticket reservations are recommended. Ticket 6p«iaL Uours in \Vriting Canter f*r finals not to be missed. prices range from $25 to $45. Call the Box Office at 527- 5151. Please note special hours for assistance With student February 26 - 7:00 PM - Washington Room final papers and projects. The Writing Center will be open "Dinner with Friends" at TheatreVCorks onLy till friday. December 13. Call x246S for further infor- mation or to make an appointment Running through December 22 at TheatreWorks, located at 233 Pearl Street in downtown Hartford, this play is a Winter Break Residence tlatl Casing ervice drama of four friends whose relationships are tested. Two married couples at middle age are planning a life-long rela- Residence IJalLs wiLL close at noon on December 18. Individual Tutor Needed tionship. But when one couple hosts a dinner to try out some Personal access codes (PACs) Wilt be removed from all A local eleven year old student at St. Augustine's new recipes, one one of their friends arrives with bad news doors prompty at this time. 6tudents Late to Vacate WiLL be school needs help with math and reading. If you are strong enough to threaten their friendship and marriage. fined, tlalls Will reopen at noon on January 18. interested in working with this child, please call the Running through December 22, Tuesday through Thursday child's grandmother, Mrs. Rice, at 242-3810. at 7:30 PM, Friday and Saturday at 8:00 PM, and Saturday Christmas at The Mark Twain J-louse and Sunday at 2:30 PM. Tickets are $40 on Friday and Hartford Public High School Debate Team Saturday, $30 dollars on other days. FREE student tickets Qlaborate Victorian Christmas decorations are on display Volunteers are needed to assist this debate team. You are available for select performances. For reservations, call at The Mark Twain tlouse. 351 farmington Avenue. will be asked to attend one meeting per week (most 527-7838. tlartford. through Monday. January 6. The eccentric nine- likely on Wednesday afternoons, yet subject to change teen room mansion, a NationaL tlistoric Landmark, has been or negotiation.) Duties will include working with Festival of Trees S Traditions decked out for the holidays as it Was when Twain resided in debaters on argumentation and speaking techniques, tlartford from 1874 to 1891. The house is open daily and bonding with the students. Attendance at tourna- Running through December 15, the Festival of Trees S throughout December, (guided tours are conducted from ments (one Saturday a month) is optional. A back- Traditions is a popular annual event held at the Wadsworth 9:30 AM to A.-O0 PM. Monday through Saturday, and ground in high school debate or speech is welcomed Atheneum, 600 Main St., Hartford, and open from 10:00 from noon to 5:00 PM on Sundays. Admission is i9 for but not essential. If interested, contact Raphael AM to 5:00 PM. The festival includes decorated trees and aduLts, &S> for seniors, -$7 for youth aged 13 to f/. and 6>5 Podolsky at 278-5688, ext. 13 or by e-mail at wreathes donated from the Hartford community for show for children 12 and under, for information call 247-0998, [email protected]. and purchase. Choral and musical groups perform frequent- ext 26. ly throughout the event. Mentoring at the Parkville Community School Mentors are needed for groups of three to four youth Mather Art Space through the school year. Responsibilities include assisting with homework, engaging in constructive The Russian Club and Trinity-in-Moscow present a photog- CLASSIFIEDS . learning and social activities such as arts & crafts and raphy exhibit: "Icons and Images: Photos from Russia." The sports, serving as a role model for the children, gallery is located on the second level of Mather Hall. Earn $UY like more information, please contact Sister Peggy Located at C,oodwin Park, on the JjartfordAVethersfield i ^ECC TaiP roe. EVCEY \O PAIP Rooney at 278-8387. Line, UoLiday Lights fantasia is spectacular holiday event

Wednesday - December 11 Friday - December IS 1-800^26-7710 12 Noon Roman Catholic Mass - 12:15 PM Muslim Prayers - Crypt Chapel www.sunsalashtours.com Crypt Chapel Last one for semester n 5:00 PM Carillon Lessons 13" 6:00 PM Change Ringing Lessons Sunday - December 15 Attention SpSiuUf Bfieaketi> Last ones for semester 4:15 PM EVENSONG with Chapel Singers 5:05 PM Holy Eucharist Service (spoken) - % Thursday - December 12 Crypt Chapel Travel Free 2003 6:30 PM ZEN Meditation - Crypt Chapel 5:30 PM Roman Catholic Mass CD Last ones for semester Get 2 Free Trips (Party W MTV www.sunsolashtours.com NO CHAPEL ACTIVITIES DEC. 16, 2002 thru JAN. 19, 2003 DUE TO CHRISTMAS RECESS! happeofogs HAVE A BLESSED HOLIDAYl 1-800-426-7710 PAGE 18 SPORTS THE TRINITY TRIPOD - DECEMBER 10, 2002 The End of an Era: Dan Kasper's Final Column

DAN KASPER the best ever. North Carolina's Rashad McCants set a school record for most SPORTS WRITER points in his first game in Carolina blue Winter is upon us. The campus is wear- when he dropped 28 on Penn State. ing a fresh coat of snow these days, and if Not even Vince Carter, Jerry you ask me I think this is when Trinity Stackhouse, Rasheed Wallace, James looks its best. Worthy, or even Michael Jordan did that in Oh, but every rose has its thorn.. .along their Tar Heel debuts. Two weeks later, .with the gorgeous snow-blanketed land- McCants was named the preseason NIT scape comes the blistering cold days asso- tournament MVP, after the Heels took out ciated with New England winters. Kansas and Stanford to win the tourna- The start of winter also marks the ment. return of college basketball to campuses Indiana freshman Bracey Wright is across the nation. But alas, college basket- starting for last year's final four runners- ball's return to the hearts of sports fans also up, and making a name for himself while brings the undesirable caveat of having to doing it. Wright helped Indiana knock off listen to Dick Vitale on a daily basis. UMASS, Gonzaga, and Virginia to win the Some sports fans loathe Bill Walton Maui Invitational, and in the process was and his egotistical analysis, others despise named the tournament's MVP. Tim McCarver and the way he repeats his Arizona's freshman guard Hassan anecdotes and explanations over and over Adams has helped the number one team in again, well for me it's Dickey V. the nation to cruise in their early season As a Big East Conference fan, I hate victories against Western Kentucky, The Intramural insider scours the campus each week Vitale's clear Atlantic Coast Conference Northern Arizona, Saint Louis, and San to find the true Trinity athletes, the warriors of intramu- bias. Dickey V. has got his nose so far up Diego State. Adams is averaging 15 points and 4 boards a game despite averaging less ral sports. This week the Intramural Insider ran into Duke Coach Mike Krzyzewski ass that not only is his nose brown, but so is the rest of than minutes a game. Rob Doitiver '03 his bald-head. Syracuse's freshman phenom Carmelo I feel sorry for announcers who have to Anthony might even be the best of the Intramural Insider: "Rob, your intramural basketball team work a game with Vitale, I mean the guy pack. After iosing their first game to has gotten the reputation for bein' a solid group on the court doesn't let you get a word in edgewise. I Memphis, Anthony has helped the don't know if it's because I haven't heard Orangemen to three blowout victories. and for being the absolute biggest bunch of morons In the his incessant blabber for five months or Anthony is averaging 26 points, 11 boards, classroom. Is this claim true?" what, but thus far this season it seems to me 3 assists, and 3 steals a game. like he's louder, dominates more conversa- Why is it that this year's batch of fresh- tions, and is even more obnoxious than man has had such a profound impact so Rob Doiliver '03: "Yeah...Yeah...Yeah, we had the lowest before (if that's possible). Most of all, I quickly? Well some will tell you it's QPA of any team on campus last year, but you gotta under- can't stand his never-ending barrage of because they have more experience of dizzying catch-phrases, his "trifectas," stand most of us our superstars in the classroom. We were playing at a high level than previous class- "dipsy-doo-dunkarbos," and "diaper es, making the jump from high school to workin from a handicap. We had Jonah Bayliss on our team. dandies" are about as funny as a car wreck. college less drastic. It's true, many of these Christ we coulda had Einstein on the squad and it wouldn't Alright that's enough about my deep blue-chips have been competing interna- seeded hatred for Dick Vitale, but speaking have mattered I mean this is the kid who failed lunch back in tionally and on traveling AAU teams since of "diaper dandies"—this year's crop of, U)e s,UiJ>nler,.after. tenth,.gtadcivOihoiisw^ay^ 1 1 freshman are bcte^tiirnptte'd as sorrie of see KASPER on page 19

- From the Caraer Services Staff

Save the dates for these Spring 2003 events Wed 3/26 Careers in the Music Industry Mon 1/6 New York Recruiting Consortium with Mario Martin-Jackson'93 & George Jackson • Mon 1/6 NY Networking Reception Hosted by Cornie Thornburgh'80 Thu 3/27 Women in Finance Dinner With Tami Preston'79 Wed 1/22 Negotiating This Difficult Job Market w/Bryant McBride'88 Thu 4/3 Roundtable Lunch:Careers in Public Relations within the International health, fitness and Sports Club Industry Thu 1/23 Careers in Media with Thayer Bigelow'65 "•'"'• with Bill Howlahd'88 ; Mon 1/27 IDP Career Services Roundtable Lunch Wed4/9, Senior Salute :• ,. '.'•'; • -, .. Sat 2/1 Practice MCAT Thu 4/10 Board of Fellows Networkii.g Reception Mon 2/3 Careers in Human Services Roundtable Lunch with Judy Gardner'81 Tue 4/15 Alumni of Color Reception

Also in the works for Spring 2003, dates TBD: Fri2/7 Capital Consortium in Washington, D.C. & Networking Reception • Finding the Summer Job of Your Dreams w/Caroline Maguire'97 • IT Careers w/Jason Hicks'90 Wed 2/12 Alumni/ae of Color Panel • Law School Admissions Panel • Careers in the Hospitality Industry Roundtable Lunch With Danny Meyer'80 Thu 2/13 Careers in Radio Advertising Roundtable • ...many more listings to cornel (dates and times subject to change) Lunch w/Maria Lashley, WTIC-FM Visit Trinity recruiting for more information on these and other upcoming events at http://trincoll.erecruiling.com Wed 2/19 Alumni & Student Athletes Networking Reception Make sure to log in to Trinity Exchange DAILY to get the latest event listings and Careers in Development w/David Kyle'00 and Peter Burns'97 Wed 3/5 announcements from Career Services! DECEMBER 10, 2002 - THE TRINITY TRIPOD SPORTS PAGE 19 Bantam Squash Teams Wrestling Sweep NYU, Remain Nation's No. 1 R&W, and King's Point Men and Women Remain Undefeated This Season

continued from page 20 moves to .500 with a 3-3 record. Maria Restrepo '06 and Rhea Bhandare Nicholas Kyme '03 won both of the '06 rounded out the freshman top 3 for the No. 1 matches for the Bantams with deci- Bantams squad with the No. 2 and No. 3 sive 3-0 scores. In fact, the top four Trinity positions respectively. Both women positions won both of their matches 3-0. showed few signs of inexperience in their Furthermore, Trinity had only one match collegiate debuts with strong 3-0 wins. total against both teams that extended Rounding out the top 5 were veterans beyond three games. Claire Austin '03 and Meridy Vollmer '05. If early season indications hold true, Trinity defeated Williams College 9-0. They then went on to crush Bowdoin College by the same score.

Amy Brown '03 and Katie Peck '06 also both Trinity squash squads look ready to recorded wins for the Bantams. repeat as National Champions and continue In men's action, the Bantams extended their unbeaten streaks. their win streak to 75 with two victories The lady Bantams have their next over the weekend. This record dates back match on January 11, at Ivy League oppo- to the 1998 Intercollegiate Championship nent Princeton University. finals. They are also the No. 1 ranked team Their next home match is January 16, in the Nation. when the.host NESCAC opponent Amherst WWWJRINCOLLCDU In their first match of the day, Trinity College. defeated Williams College 9-0. They then Home fans can see the men's team this Mike Doros '04 helped lead Trinity to the NYU Duals Title went on to crush Bowdoin College by the weekend at the three-day USSR A 5-Man same score. Williams is the No. 8 team in Championships at the Ferris Athletic up with a key win in the NYU match, and the nation with a 5-4 record. Bowdoin now Center. weekend include; MattCino '04, who went Bryan Dubiel '06, who went 2-1 at heavy- 2-0, Mark Romeo '06, who went 2-0, Dave weight. Bucco '05, who went 3-0, Wes Connell Trinity's next match will be on January '04, who went 2-1, McKittrick, who came 9, when the Bantams will host Gettysburg. Dan Kasper; Great Man Or Fifth Year Phenom? continued from page 19 nent's and teammate's share the same inex- these kids are growing up with butter skills perience. In fact, this year's freshman are -ihdirrtieir-predecessors,- and they-argue that- —probabiy-on)y-a-liule-bit- better tlian> mo-sl tlK1 number of kids foregoing college to year's recruiting classes, but they arc get- ciiior the NBA draft is support for their ting ample minutes because the more tal- t' itn. ented players in the classes above them I think these two arguments are valid, have already left for the NBA. It's a cycle y\z\) stars are entering college these days lhat will continue to deplete the level of V.1M1 more skills than high school kids ten competition in college hoops until the NBA \u irs ago, but arc they really that much bet- or NCAA sets an age restriction on player's

[Vitale's] nose is so far up [Coach K's] ass that not only is his nose brown, but so is the rest of his bald-head.

lei' The answer is no. The fact of the mat- entering the draft. ter is the level at which college basketball If you don't believe me, fine. But why is played these days is significantly lower is it the last two NCAA championship ihm.it,was a decade ago, and these kids teams have been based around good (not onl\ look better than their predecessors great) upperclassmen? How come all these b(_v mse the game is watered-down. Euros are getting drafted before college K highly-recruited high school bailer hoops' early departed? ihdj days will go to college for one or two If you think this year's Arizona, or last years (if at all) before making the jump to year's Maryland, or the 2000 Blue Devils

WWW.TRINCOLL€DU the NBA. It increases the turnover rate in could hang with a top flight college team college programs making it hard to develop from a decade ago you are sorely mistaken. Claire Austin '03 helped lead the Lady Bants to victory a team over a four year span. Players that Jerry Tarkanian's early 90s UNLV team, do stay for four years these days, tend to be Duke with Laettner, Hurley, and Hill, and second tier complimentary players (with a Georgetown with Mourning and Mutombo few exceptions: Battier, Dixon, etc) and would destroy any one of today's best you have to be a great coach to base your teams. team around a bunch of backups. They would beat them because they Career Services So the talented freshman come in and were better teams, not necessarily better get run automatically because there is a players. Because the stars of the early 90's void of talent left from the previous sea- best college teams played together for four son's early NBA departures. years they were able to work as a cohesive Most of these freshmen are going up unit. Now any sort of bond that is devel- against other underclassmen so their oped among college hoops teams today is hi el p WanteMa naivety is covered up because their oppo- . shattered by NBA dough. Career Services is looking for students STUDENT Men's Hockey Wins Two interested in working continued from 20 Trinity out shot Babson 40 to 23 on the for us during the scored four straight goals, taking a 5-4 lead afternoon. Spring 2003 Semester. WORKERS with less than five minutes remaining in the This was a solid win for the Bantams. game. Babson is much improved over last season. Then with less than fifteen seconds left Earlier this year they beat Amherst and APPLY IMMEDIATELY to and their goalie pulled Trinity scored the prior to their 6-5 loss to the Bantams, game tying goal. Ori tied the game at 4-4 Babson had been undefeated. Ellen Gagnon at x2082 or on a play setup by Joncas. The team does not play again until [email protected] In the overtime period, Ori struck again January 3, when they will travel up to scoring the game-winning goal 3:48 into Norwich and play in the Times Argus tour- the overtime period. nament. The Trinity Tripod - December 10, 2002 Men's Ice Hockey Men's Basketball Evens Its Improves to 3-1 -1 Record Over the Weekend PETER SCALA SHANE EARLY '05 netted two goals and added an SPORTS WRITER SPORTS EDITOR assist. Ryan Stevens "05 and Dan Gyllstrom '04 both had a goal and On December 3, Trinity beat Coming off a disappointing two assists, while Drew Haider Western Connecticut State performance at the McCabe '03 added two assists and Joseph University by four. The Bants Tournament, men's ice hockey Ori '05 notched three assists of were led by freshman center Tyler got back in the win column with his own. Rhoten, who scored a game-high victories over UMass-Boston and Trinity out shot UMass- 22. The freshman center also Babson. The Bantams began Boston 57-14 as Douglas Kiselius grabbed 9 boards on the night. their weekend with a 10-0 rout of '05 recorded his first shutout of The Bants came into the UMass-Boston on Friday and the season, game hoping to end a two game then came back Saturday to pick Saturday's game turned out to slide, and played hard through- up a thrilling 6-5 overtime victory be a thriller as the Bantams blew out. The first half saw both at Babson. a lead and then scrambled back squads pushing the ball up the Trinity took control early in for an important victory. Trinity court, and trading buckets. The Friday's contest. Senior co-cap- opened the scoring late in the first first period ended with Trinity tain Greg O'Leary scored just on a Natale power play goal set trailing by two, 35-37. 1:55 into the game, giving Trinity up by Ori and Tim Joncas '04. Trinity came out swinging in a iead that it would never relin- Babson knotted the game at the second half, going on a 12-0 quish. Trinity went on to score 1-1 fifty-four seconds into the run to take the largest lead of the another goal in the first before second period. Trinity then night. Western Connecticut con- turning the game into a laugher scored three straight goals to open tinued to work hard, and knotted with six second period goals. The up a 4-1 lead. Cameron Finch the score at 60-60 with only 6:20 Bantams added two more in the '06, Gyllstrom, and Natale all lit left to play. After several minutes third to cap their 10-0 victory. the lamp as Trinity entered the of trading hoops, senior tri-cap- O'Leary led the way for third period with a three goal tain Ryan Uszenski decided he Trinity. The senior winger advantage. had had enough. The senior for- recorded a hat trick and added an In the third, however, Babson ward hit consecutive three-point- assist in the victory. Jeff Natale came back strong. The Beavers ers from the top of the arc, giving see HOCKEY on page] 9 the Bants a 72-69 lead with only one minute left. With the score at 72-71 Corey Days stepped up. The senior tri-captain put back a WWW.TRINCOLL.eDU Up-in, and sunk the ensuing free Basketball took on Coast-Guard throw .to endthegamjeJ5-7J. The "* . r- «. vm ••Hhfl III! ~\- * * iW «• »*•• win set Trinity's record at 2-2. Cardinals dominated the first Trinity in the game. The Following this game, Trinity half. Wesleyan led the entire peri- • Cardinals missed two foul shots, fell by 3 to the Cardinals of od, and was up at one point by 18 and with only a few ticks left on Wesleyan University. The two points. The Bantams were able to the clock Trinity set up to tie the NESCAC rivals squared off in the cut into the lead, and the teams game. opening round of the Skidmore went into the half with the score Sophomore guard Jesse College Men's Basketball standing at 42-29 Wesleyan. The Farrell took the inbounds pass, Invitational Tournament. This second half began, and quickly and looked up court for a three game proved to be a tale of two started to look like the first. point shooter. Wesleyan knew halveSj with a seemingly different Wesleyan once again extended what was coming and clamped Bantam squad coming out in the their lead to 17 points with only down on Trinity's outside players, second period. ; 10 minutes left in the game. leaving Farrell to take a long For the Bants, the first half Finally, the Bants came alive. The three that bounced off the front of did not go well. Neither team team went on a 22-10 run, capped the rim. started off strong, however off when junior guard Shaun The Bantams bounced back Wesleyan' opened the scoring Smyth and sophomore guard with a victory in the conciliation with a free throw 2:26 into the John Halas hit back-to-back match against Hampshire College first half. Trinity continued to three-pointers. 91-73. Rhoten once again led struggle, and not until 3:29 did After this move, Trinity Trinity with a career high 34 the team get on the board. trailed by only 5, but there was points. The last game for the. Rhoten, netted the first two, and less than two minutes left to play. Bants before the winter break is WWW.TRINCOLLCDU ended with a team high 24 points. Rhoten hit a pair of free throws to against the Coast Guard Academy Drew Haider '03 recorded two assists on Friday Despite Trinity's hard play, the close the gap to three, keeping on December 9. The Squash Teams Wrestling Team Goes 3-0 Continue Success And Wins The NYU Duals

Women Beat Williams in Season Opener SHANE EARLY themselves down 17-3. With the 17 victory over NYU and finished EAMONN BROWN end of last season when both the SPORTS EDITOR 157 match about to begin Trinity up as the tournament's only unde- SPORTS EDITOR men's and women's squash teams had to sweep the remaining five feated team. In solidifying the went out on top as Div. I National Trinity wrestling continued matches if it was to win. After NYU match, Webster earned The Trinity College Champions. its strong start, capturing the taking the first three matches, team MVP honors for the tourna- men's and women's squash teams At No. 1 for Trinity, NYU duals this past weekend. Trinity cut the NYU lead to 17- ment. continued the unbeaten streaks Larissa Stephenson '06, from The Bantams won all three of 15. Still needing to win the two The most impressive part of after both squads recorded victo- Auckland, New Zealand, record- their dual meets, making them the remaining matches, co-captain the team's success this past week- ries over the weekend. ed a 3-0 victory in her collegiate only undefeated team in the tour- Mike Doros '04 took the mat for end is that it came without three In women's action, the debut. The win was one of five 3- nament, the Bantams. Needing to score of the team's regular starter. The Bantams won their season opener 0 matches for the Bantams on the "The team really battled," with less than thirty seconds, Bantams were missing Luis against Williams College. It was day. said Lucas McKittrick '03. "This Doros came up with a takedown Murillo '06 at 125, Eric Egolf '03 the first match of the season for Even more impressive was a tough meet and we and earned a minority decision. at 149, and Mike Blair '06 at the Ephs as well, who are the No. is the fact the four other 3-0 responded, which shows a lot of Now having taken an 18-17 lead, heavyweight. the team's hopes rested on the 8 team in the nation. Trinity is matches were won at the No. 2, character." "This weekend really shows 197-pound match and Mike ranked No. 1. No. 3, No. 4, and No. 5 spots. The team opened its day with our depth," said Egolf, "To be Webster '05. In yet another tight The win took for the With a shutout sweep of the top a 27-18 win over King's Point. down three starters and perform match, Webster clinched victory visiting Bantams was recorded in five Williams competitors, the Trinity then beat Roger Williams the way we did is amazing. It for the Bantams on a last second Williamstown, Massachusetts on rest of the match was smooth sail- before taking on host NYU in shows just how competitive the takedown. Saturday. Their winning streak ing as the Bantam won by the their final match of the day. team is," has now been extended to 12 final margin 7-2. In the midst of the highly dra- Having won the meet's final Other top performers over the matches, stretching back to the matic match, the Bantams found five matches, Trinity earned a 21- see SQUASH on page 19 see WRESTLING on page 19