The tie that binds since 1926 The Cord Weekly
Entertainment Year in We've jokes and and , got jokes
and r Review...page 22 and 23 jokes...on pages 31 32
www.clublaurier.ca Volume 45 Issue 15 Wednesday December 1, 2004
Volunteer fired
after showing students weed in Foot Van
The fact that WLUSU offi-
co-ordinator is cials in Waterloo were dealing
with a in Brantford "terminated" problem added to the confusion.
Duncan he was told that APRIL CUNNINGHAM says
News Editor Lyndsey Jones, Chair of the
WLUSU Board of Directors,
recent termination of would Brantford to hear his The go to Brantford's Foot Patrol Co- concerns, but she was unable to
due ordinator has heightened con- come to a lack of transporta- student cerns regarding rights at tion.
Laurier's satellite campus. "I never got to say my side," fired from Ryan Duncan was he says."I don't even know if I'm
the volunteer position on allowed to have the opportunity."
November 11 after a review by He adds that Jones later sent him
Sara Neziol, Brantford Campus an email saying that Neziol and
Commissioner and Mark Walhout followed the rules "per- Walhout. VP: Human Resources fectly."
WLUSU. of "My rights, as a student, were
Duncan says he was told alle- walked right over," he says.
gations that led to his termination "That's kind of scary."
included telling students it was Jones, however, says that she
acceptable to drink in the Foot has contacted Duncan and is Bryn Boyce him her. Patrol office or before their shift. waiting for to get back to their The Conestoga College Town Hall venue didn't exactly bring in hoards of 'townies' eager to voice On occasion he had "I offered follow with affair. one particular to up him," opinions. In fact, not one single university undergraduate student spoke during the two-hours his she ''I marijuana in pocket while says. would be more than
driving the Foot van and he happy to meet with him."
showed the weed to students who She also ensures that in mak-
such WLUSU were getting a ride home. ing decisions, fol- Education check On another occasion, Duncan lows Ontario human codes system rights
had told one of the Foot Patrollers as well as the provincial employ- that they could take a leftover ment act. Co-ordinators undergo Chancellor Bob Rae's and Bryn Boyce college case of water from Orientation regular performance reviews.
Week. he When with This, was told, was problems Duncan's university review: perspectives theft. performance arose, Neziol and
"I don't with of it." Walhout met to discuss the situa- and 9-10 agree any Opinion Editor commentary... pages he says, referring to the allega- tion.
and s current tuition freeze tions. "But it's not whether or not ty. system design, funding McGumty
1 Saskatchewan socialist needs be with an increase did it, it's that they accused me Tommy accountability. to met
and voted CBC's In these it's from both the and fed- didn't chance - was at five, provincial give me a to Please see DUNCAN page 4 Douglas looking Dr. Bob defend myself." Greatest Canadian last week pretty clear that a hierarchy eral governments. WLU marking the end of CBC's home- exists. Funding weighs in as the Rosehart, President, point-
the ed that "it's not issue of grown 'make-news' campaign to all-important aspect of com- out an
mission in order tuition fees, it's combination of drum up Canadian pride. and. to affect a fees and If the can't Douglas' revolutionary views on any significant change in the grants. grants
health-care certainly resonated other areas, it has to increase. go up [then] the fees are going to
with is As have C.BC viewers who seeming- Free tuition no answer. to."
used their send the Federation of ly votes to a mes- Lesley Church, a panelist on The Canadian
- Students out that sage to Paul Martin improve the Rae Review team, pointed out, (CFS) points "if barriers investment in system now. you take financial out government PSE
While the of of the it becomes eyes most equation, an "generate significantly more
Ontaiians are fixed on the doctor- academic barrier" that restricts money for the provincial treasury
health himself than investment" and deficient care system, only access. Moreover, Rae the initial
the fewest of heads turn to look at has pointed out that students that the "spin off benefits to soci-
the state of the colleges and uni- enjoy private benefits from their ety have been estimated at a net
versities - know, for worth of billion dol- you where those education and should pay at nearly one least it. lars medical personnel are trained. some portion of per year."
At least one study is out to Instead of abolishing tuition, Despite these optimistic tunnel-vision much investment Rae change this syn- then, the topic shifts to how outlooks, cash drome a should students have for remarks that "the federal by throwing spotlight on to pay the ailing health of Ontario's their education. Certainly Rae transfers for higher education and Education think the levels social has fallen almost Post-Secondary (PSE) seems to current programs Wilfrid Laurier but third in real since 1994- system. are competitive, a 195 percent a terms direct Federal University Chancellor, Bob Rae. increase in just over a decade 95" and that grants the task of is than little have The fund transfer was given immense (since 1990) more a increased. File Photo the reviewing the state of PSE in excessive. is given in lump sum to
2004 WLUSU can't Ryan Duncan during the Presidential debate. He was Ontario by focussing on five Tuition absolutely be Please see Rae, page 9 terminated as Brantford's Foot Patrol co-ordinator. main areas - accessibility, cjuali- allowed to increase but jfflefM b HX.> Club Tour I I Canada's Search for the Coors Light Maxim Girl
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Wednesday November 24, 2004 - The Cord Weekly
The Cord Weekly's... Cord 5 DAY ACTION NEWS
Weather Forecast clippings
NATIONAL
Pierre Berton dies
The popular Canadian histori- hears to cal novelist, Pierre Berton, died Review woes of 84 of the funding at age yesterday, what was thought to be heart failure. 50 Among some novels, reference Rosehart. Before all of his con- was discussed was in to Berton was known for such Chancellor and review Dr. the of stu- Laurier cerns could be addressed funding, wellbeing books as Klondike and more short due dents and the of education Rosehart was stopped quality recently, Prisoners of the North. namesake not in attendance also to time concerns. was addressed. His familiar bow-tied self was While the majority of what "I conclude that the quality of CBC frequently seen on as he FRASER KING particular meeting. education for these students, The Pierre Berton Show News Editor hosted Unfortunately the very person which in again, my opinion con- for ten and appeared as a who to the concerns years, was present sists of a decent majority of them, chance to on Front you get your raised the permanent panelist at the meeting to has been decreasing in recent Didrant about Page Challenge. your post-sec- Government of Ontario, former years," said Dr. Walsh-Bowers, a education? 200 to CTV.ca, ondary Nearly Premier and Laurier According Ontario Laurier psychology professor. university administra- Berton was not afraid to admit students, Chancellor, Bob Rae,- was not The review, which has been for Just and other con- his fondness marijuana. tors, professors able to attend due to personal he on cerned attended the town- one month ago, appeared people concerns.
Review on "I there is some- Rick Mercer's hall Rae meeting Former Ontario Premier, Bill hope Monday Night November 25 at Conestoga Report to provide tips on how Davis, noted in his opening thing done." to correctly roll a joint. College. remarks, "I think it will be one of
- Dr. Robert Rose hart the most relevant reports com- PROVINCIAL "If government grants missioned by government," before the discussion turning in various Still no witnesses in Toronto don't go up, fees have running since October those in attendance. over to bus shooting to." regions of Ontario, is scheduled President and Vice- to end on December 8 and Bob
Chancellor of Laurier, Dr. Robert Toronto are frustrated, - police Dr. Robert Rosehart, Laurier Rae is set to relay the concerns
was in attendance and CBC as one Rosehart, at the to the says News, only President and Vice-Chancellor brought up meetings made a number of remarks sur- witness out of 40 provincial government in early passengers
from the has come forward since the rounding funding gov- 2005, just in time to affect the both universities and bus ernment to shooting in a TTC this past 2005 budget. While the two-hour event was university students. weekend. Anyone interested in finding well the of attended, majority there is to "I hope something information When a intended out more can go to gunman that to the review people spoke done to accelerate and to retain shoot bul- raereview.on.ca someone else, a stray board were university or college the public investment in the col- let hit 11-year-old Tamara senior officials and administra- and said above the and leges universities," Contributed Photo To the reactions various Carter just eye see of rather than actual tors post-sec- million Rosehart. Arecent $6 ren- passed through her face. Pictured here is Laurier's Laurier Personalities, see the students. ondary ovation to the DAWB was Doctors she suffer project Chancellor, Bob Rae. Opinion Section say may While the review aimed was the fund- A postponed as necessary Unfortunately he was too busy from brain and eye damage. at both and universities, his colleges ing could not be secured. chancelloring to to own shot also hit a 24-year-old man, go Withfilesfrom Bryn Boyce and there was more time focused on review at College in "If don't Conestoga who is government grants wlu. ca currently hospitalized Kitchener. the concerns of at this colleges fees have noted to the stom- go up, to," with wounds head, ach, and leg.
Bag O' LOCAL talks to Fine Arts students Descartes cut losses Campbell CRIME
A Waterloo software logistics SUSPICIOUS PERSON end to the "You have to look at Descartes Systems program. pro- company, s:3opm Tuesday November 23 Arts He also told students that Fine and of Group, has decreased its losses meeting grams ways saving j ; from one reports The Arts courses would eventually be money," says Duffy. year ago, Officers responded to the third lets students melded into another But Laurier concerned Canadian Press. The company's program as is not floor of the Nichols Centre third loss was $2.7 mil- part of the university's Century that incoming students will be quarter male their regarding a who was lion to $4.2 million a express Plan. upset with the loss of a practical, compared from office to office going earlier. "It's the studio that's going to studio art component. year concerns handing out pamphlets. The Art Mesher, CEO of be gone," says Duffy. "We're not really letting individual was located and it She believes that he defended down the high school students Descartes says that the compa- APRIL CUNNINGHAM that was learned the pamphlets results indicate a the decision "but it doesn't because there are still improved News Editor well, programs ny's he was handing out were about fact in the Both the towards stabilization. change the that there is a lot area," says Duffy. move some imagined conspiracy by Fine of disappointment," she adds. University of Waterloo and the Arts may be picking up its and police officials offer government Both Campbell and Duffy of Guelph Fine DID JUST THAT?! canvases and abandoning the University YOU SEE to involve students in some stressed that it is just a fact of Arts. Laurier campus, but current stu- type of pyramid scheme. The SEE SOMETHING INTERESTING dents have been told business when budgets are cut. not to worry. ON CAMPUS? individual was escorted off All required courses will contin- and issued with a writ- campus Call The Cord News Action ue to be offered until of April ten trespass warning. Hotline: 884-0710x3564 2007.
"The department has a
that responsibility courses [stu- CRIME OF THE WEEK: The Cord Weekly need will Ami dents] and want be okay?! IS A
available to Ann them," says MEDICAL ASSIST Administrative Duffy, Secretary 3:16am Tuesday November 23
for Fine Arts. She notes that cur-
rent students should fill out their Officers responded to 209 unofficial selection form in order President Craig Radclifl'e Regina after receiving a call VP: Finance Arthur Wong to ensure what want will be they that he Foster from a resident may VP:Advertising Angela offered. Human Resources Hendra Salim have drugged himself. Chair of theBoard Tunde igh she However, ensures that Komel Ambulance Services were Vice Chair. Szrejber there will be the Board of Directors Anna Jandu same number of also On dispatched. arrival, JenniferMcCoy courses offered as other Eden Orbach every officers spoke to the male JordanJocius This year. includes studio courses who called and he advised Corporate Secretary. Penny Shearer in sculpture, drawing, painting, that he had consumed a small The Cord is the official student newspaper of Wilfrid and Weekly print-making 'progressive quantity of mouth wash and Laurier University. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications, studio' advanced is for students, as Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. WLUSP gov- that he had been drinking ear- erned by its board of directors. well as history. lier in the as well as evening Opinions expressed are those of the author and do not neces- A crowd of anxious students sarily reflect those of the Editorial Board. The Cord. WLUSP. having- smoked some mari- WLU or Hamilton Web Printing.
at a on gathered general for addresses meeting He concerned for rates are $20.00 term with- juana. was Cord subscription per in Canada.The Cord is printed by HamiltonWeb Printing and is November 22 to hear the fate of his well being. Ambulance published every Wednesday. their program. Where, Dr. Robert attendants checked him and WilfridLaurier University Student Publications
Campbell, dean of the of 75 University Avenue West, Faculty the individual to transported N2L3C5 Miranda Mac Donald Waterioo, Ontario, Arts, addressed and questions 884-1970 3564 hospital to be checked at his (519) ext. heard An fine studio classroom. Don't it be full Fax: (519)883-0873 students' concerns regard- empty arts expect to any- request. time Advertising: (519) 884-1970 ext. 3560 the as the studio courses that are offered are eliminat- ing recent decision to soon, being put an www.wlusp.com ed 2007, no new Fine Arts students are by April good thing coming. e-mail: [email protected] 'News
4 - Wednesday November 24, 2004 The Cord Weekly
Another Brantford flaw This week at UBC... exposed, says Jones
DUNCAN, from cover Unofficial files area we should be at." kept on campus residents looking that it would be ideal Duncan "The Jones says agrees. big
thing now is, we need a of to eventually have a coordinator set JONATHAN WOODWARD their "it's easier the the he "We need advisors, for behaviour," she said. of human resources on rules," says. to CUP British Columbia Bureau Chief electronic to wander Brantford localize define copy "'Consistently noisy' isn't help- campus to help clearly everybody's jobs, students' and how she said. "It's a and to to the "That's flaw with rights can around," ticking ful, say a student that process. a they VANCOUVER (CUP) time bomb that could lead to he's the Branford she be defended.... If consistently noisy doesn't system," says. something goes Students in hous- living campus breaches of But the who are we to privacy law." provide them with the informa- process that occurred wrong, supposed at universities aren't ing being When student their talk to?" a requests tion they would need to was completely acceptable, she told their residences unoffi- keep find the The whole drama has information, they might improve." says. "In looking at process made cial files on them in online, him lose interest in and comments opinions are pri- About 200 universities world- that took place... process defini- volunteering. searchable databases. information "Even if overturned their vate of the person wide and 20 universities in North tion was taken care of." they Hundreds of student advisors I wouldn't — decision, want to who wrote them meaning the America, including Simon Fraser She does think, however, that work the but the can access files, stu- Foot Patrol Co-ordinator university could black out the University in Burnaby, 8.C., and the situation has emphasized the as dents themselves allowed are not because I don't trust information to protect the advi- St. Mary's University in Halifax, lack of structure at WLUSU them," he for to see them reasons ranging sor. use an Australian-made computer Brantford. says. from to residence policy provin- But WLUSU doesn't seem database called Starßez. "We need to outline cases for cial law. bend. "It's privacy The to future she "As willing to final," "To say to a student ability make comments scenarios," says. says "It's said Brian creepy," about from for the development of the Jones. that he's everything buildings resident of Place consistently Richard, a Brantford this to residents is built into the sys- campus, is another Vanier at ÜBC. "You should be noisy doesn't provide tem, said Starßez vice-president what's in the able to see file." them with the David Meale. Who can access the Anyone who's lived in resi- information they would data changes from university to dence knows how residence dis- From files of The Cord need to improve," university. works: if breach the cipline you Alicia Wight, assistant direc- at the contract you signed begin- NOVEMBER 27, 1980 it was not made an official club? - Lisa Gibson, Residence Life Co- tor of residence at the University of the writ- Get ning year, you'll get of Calgary, said only high-level your crunk on ordinator NOVEMBER 24, 1971 ten with a formal report. up staff can access the files, but their offenders the Poet woos students Usually, repeat see The newest club to form on residences are moving away from their report and face further pun- Laurier in late Residences at the University using the comment system. 1 Campus Acclaimed Montreal poet ishment, like eviction. November of 1980 was the Irving of Victoria have a computer data- "You'll expect to find it less Laurier in But what they aren't told Honours Club, while Layton came to one base, but advisors can't access it, and less," she said. Drinking Poets'- about comments in the part of a Canadian are system said residence life co-ordinator After Canadian University not officially recognized by drawn about the series. read by advisors WLUSU, was expand- Speaker Layton up Lisa Gibson. When an incident is Press's inquiries, Wight said the quickly of his well — if some as as student themselves even a The club was started by six poems filed, the advisor fills out a report residence handbook would be ing. incident talking about his personal histo- formal hasn't happened. and it senior who amended tell students business students and held meet- passes to staff, to com- and Comments could range from, at the Turret. The "H-Dee" ry experiences, explaining upload it to a database. ments could be made. ings with clever anecdotes the inspi- "This has never been a club said the club was dedicated person While an advisor has a log- "We're changing our system," member of the ration for each While clad good floor," to, she said. "It will be in the hand- to stress and poem. book, no comments are uploaded ; relieving improving in black and shielded think- "Unfortunately I have to talk to | by either as a companion to incident book next year." "peer-to-beer" relationships. about horned rimmed this other day With the events the glasses, Layton guy every reports or on the students them- ; intriguing said Fred director was described as being warm noise," Fotis, selves. club promises, who knows why
of ÜBC's and friendly. housing department. "We deal with documented Files also include records of
disputes between residents not The formally recorded. ÜBC sys-
tem, called eßez Admin, is online
and lists students by name, floor Season's - from the flu and picture. greetings "Every office needs to com-
pile information to be able to deal
with students on individual lot than an a more most people HIV, renal disease, anemia, Classroom environment could students basis," said Fotis, adding would believe, according to alcoholism, seniors over 65
"should this information Jane ÜBC student and of health care work- expect" British Ngai, a a years age, help spread influenza, Minoru to be there. volunteer at the ers and volunteers, caregivers "We've always done that in Columbia Residence for Seniors in and children aged six-to 23- The professor says paper form. difference is that Richmond. months.
it's in electronic form now." "I think a lot of people don't These people are vaccinated shots) would be good." Over 100 advisors can write and free in 8.C., though ÜBC LINDA MEI Each around 20 the year, per- health offer students the access comments at The University of British clinics Ubyssey "I think a lot of cent of Canadians get influen- people University of Alberta, said Columbia vaccine for $15 if they don't and more than 1400 don't realize how za, people criteria. Darlene Lipinski, assistant direc- meet any of these in B.C. die from the flu or — vulnerable are to tor of residence administration. VANCOUVER (CUP) Most they Some departments require stu- be pneumonia-related illnesses. As The comments aren't just used students may not at high risk the flu and how dents to be immunized against the number of of from influen- one cause vac- for but also to the complications influenza, such as health sci- discipline, help it can be the flu dangerous but there to cine-preventable deaths, student, she said. za, are reasons ences. sometimes." can be avoided with a immunize them the yearly With them, advisors can pri- against Flu shots have received a lot vaccination and adequate hand record and share the virus, as classroom populations of attention with the vately ways - Jane Ngai, ÜBC student recently facilitate of washing. they help residents through sensi- may the spread the shortage in the United States The flu shot is at an injection tive issues like disabilities and flu, according to a professor driving people to come to of dead inactivated flu virus- the of British or realize vulnerable Canada be immunized. mental health. Having more peo- University how they are to which can build immu- Columbia. es, help has ple see these records means only to the flu and how dangerous it The focus in Canada The nity against influenza. vac- the be information important to can sometimes," Ngai said. been on high-risk individuals, cination is 70 to 90 percent per- ÜBC since there advisor's job is written, Lipinski "A university, for This year, is promot- are not enough sup- cent effective in preventing said. immunization to both facul- plies to immunize all could be ing example, a infection in adults, healthy said "The information is important ty and students. Canadians against the flu, that could according to the Vancouver "We major pool to what we do," she said. Flu can lead to serious com- Stiver. Coastal Health Authority. disseminate the virus and death for seniors "It's a real if we have staff we have to trust know plications problem A common misperception is whatever's in the system is strict- into the general and especially for people with have a pandemic virus develop, flu shot the a can give a person ly for their benefit and nobody certain health conditions, and as we are concerned about this population." virus. While side effects of the in the few else's." while students may not fall into happening next flu shot can include a mild those of them he said. It's not illegal for a university - Grant Stiver, ÜBC professor groups, many years," and mus- fever, fatigue aching "Even the advanced to collect information about its have contact with those people. with cles, they generally disappear manufac- students without their knowl- According to Lori King, a techniques in vaccine in one or two and "There is chance students days compli- to edge, said Morag Wilmut of a nurse with the ÜBC health pro- turing, which allow us pro- cations are extremely rare. with influenza in a vaccine in six or B.C.'s Office of the Information university, motion program, students duce a eight "About 10 percent of people for could be a six and Privacy Commissioner. example, major "spend a lot of time indoors, weeks, as opposed to the who get a flu shot feel a little doesn't when that could disseminate close to other months the older The law change pool very many peo- by techniques, bit ill maybe," said Stiver. virus into the be of the files are transferred from general popula- ple, so they are at particular still it would a question "Some people say that they but tion, the same as daycares and enough. paper to electronic copy, the high risk for getting the flu." could you produce get sicker than ever schools are," said Grant they've individuals can't." potential for abuse grows, she grade High-risk Right now we been after a flu shot; I think Stiver, a professor in the facul- said. include persons with a chronic that's and is of medicine who works in an exaggeration Sarah With information accessible ty condition such as a cardiac or With files from not based in fact." of the infectious diseases division Bourdon at any Internet terminal by any pulmonary disorder, diabetes or The flu virus itself is at ÜBC. 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AnanthanSundaresan Mike Brown Mary Erskine Miranda MacDonald Dave Ricci Richard Togman Ken Braithwaite Joanne Spanninga Sarah Schroer Chris Clemens Andrew Bolter JanetLinseman Fraser McDonald Dan Roth Marcos Moldes Laurie Sydney Helland Vandenhoff Dr. Bob Rosehart Linda Mei (CUP) Rames Paramsothy Dr Herbert Pimlott Jonathan WmdwanJ (CUP) Copy EditingManager. Amy Rogers Dan Hocking Mark Hopkins Copy Edttors. KevinField Jillian Pancott Jessica Roy Brenda Heatly Kyle Boulden Danyelle Erwin Heather Olavson Quote Of The Week Regan Walsh Jeremy Woodcock StefanieBuszynski "You ask if may I am doinga Googlesearch on handJobs. The would be Jillian Pancott answer yes. -Byline,MC Photo Mangers..— Erika Ivanic Erin Moore Ad Production Manager. Jaequeiyn Cain First Issue of 2005: January 6 IT Manager. Greg smith Be it ever so humble at The Cord are not Weexperts on homelessness. You can read the statistics and do all homework- can even your you spend a night sleeping outside Queen's Park in the downtown Toronto core. Still, no politician, altruistic psychologist or average, University student can ever fully Gmm understand homelessness. It is a There are, however, some trends. A number of Student complex and tragic state unique large of home- The Weight Life less are visible minorities. to each individual. Only a person people who is homeless knows why he In the U.S., almost halfof all peo- street who live in shelters or on the or she sleeps on the —if ple aware of their cir- street have Still, they are even actually jobs. cumstances at all. many believe that these people said situations if people nothing is homelessness a could better their Forty Why prob- weren't lem in such a rich country? they simply so "lazy." The bottom line does According to statistics from is; it matter homeless? "raisetheroof.org," about a quar- why people are Caitlin Howlett in A 'heinous' and ter of the houseless population People who are homeless are a shooting only of fled their homes to escape domes- constant state physical danger one witness comes forward tic violence. Another estimate and, as a group, statistically have that of homeless much lower level of health then Editor-in-Chief shows a quarter a suffer mental illness. Bear the rest of The that people us. argument I'd least No one can for sure really say phone number, but at An innocent girl is shot in the that does have "chosen" this life for in mind this estimation people I could while it if they witnessed a crime that give them what head, the unfortunate reality of not include those with mood dis- themselves is deeply misguided. would come forward, it's a was fresh in mind. the they my Forty peo- being in the wrong place at orders such as or Consider how ill or troubled a depression of the momentkind of didn't do that. time. No less than spur thing. ple be wrong forty addiction disorders like alco- person must to consciously You either do it or you don't. And We should be worried about people witness it and only one holism. While these latter condi- choose to live in the conditions debate this. Not the but as soon as you start to it, forty individuals, witness stands up to the plate to tions aren't lumped in with "men- that come along with homeless- that's when really, it becomes the fear that doing something to say anything. tal illness," it is safe to that ness. say more of a decision on how to assist an innocent bystander like who is suicidal In the end it doesn't Forty'people. one or dependent really come up with excuses for not Tamara Carter is too dangerous. Forty people on a bus, heroin self- is on many on are severely matter why a person living coming forward rather than sim- We have grown cowardly and we who saw the altercation destructive and the street. Even those with the probably are probably not from ply just saying what you saw. are constantly running away evolve from words to shots. to worst deserve gun mentally fit enough make very judgment were afraid, the fear - the same fear that And Maybe they maybe shelter and This only one, one courageous responsible, healthy life choices. food, safety. the they couldn't see anything on forces us to triple check who came forward to help But not all without issue should not be used person people as a crowded bus. walks behind in the Maybe they looked us daylight, authorities continue their investi- homes need to be institutional- political tool, raised and dis- into the of the and and who makes us change securi- into what Toronto Police eyes gunman In missed It is gation ized. They are not all ill. actu- at convenience. an thought, "what ifI'm next." Most ty codes daily. Paranoia has Chief Julian Fantino aptly to endemic that deserves ality, it's hard generalize in this problem if probably thought that their struck deep into our souls referred to as a "heinous" double as the all Canadian - a world - group only thing they meaningful in becomes whether we've been affected it name any way by not shooting. Thirty-nine people, undoubtedly have in common is attention, token political ges- it attached to this case, they too directly or simply watched on maybe slightly less or slightly lack - the fact that they all a home. tures or worse apathy. suffer a similar fate. the news. Tamara is enough for have closed their and may more, eyes me to realize that while we have a shut their mouths. to we also that have right protect ourselves, It worries me people I realize that while Bush have a moral obligation to help at arms this much to fear. It Keep length concerns me we have a right to prevent more Tamara's. Stand up that this fear prevents people ourselves, for fellow because if protect your citizens, from making a difference. Even and riot which to Bush have He's bombed Iraq police, else we also have a if don't, it's clear no one under the safety of anonymity, you Afghanistan. He oversaw the become as common as crusty is going to. not I would you say, "yes, was moral obligation to most executions in the United bureaucrats and handshakes on A little life in the there. didn't girl's hangs I see everything, I more States of previous Governor. his travels. help prevent any balance and forty people sit at didn't hear everything, but this is He's become (or perhaps has The activist message was, Tamara incidents. home deciding whether or not to what I did see and this is what I the ultimate out of always been) light- unsurprisingly, 'get Iraq in bal- put their lives that same did hear." To call these people ning rod for criticism and ridicule now.' But Paul Martin has been I feel guilty when I read a ance. A mother wishes it were her selfish would be unfair. However, ditch the likes of from leftist pundits and anti-war quick to Carolyn and like this. I wish I could have eyesight that was in jeopardy to their motives for story radical Islamists and Parrish in order rekindle the question why activists to to old been there, because I feel I would not her daughters. A 24 year they didn't want to assist the the French. Amero-Canadian spark. the have said something. I would man wishes he hadn't boarded police in a crime that left one man And despite his shining Where does Martin stand in have stayed around and talked to 35C Jane bus at Wilson Avenue 11- with three gun shots and an his to Bush's America? Is he record of misdeeds, own peo- regard I authorities. Sure, might not let around s:oopm on Sunday. Forty old in critical condition, of the year girl ple (at least 51 percent of them) looking to stay out politics them have name or even wish the same thing. that is fair. my my people very of criticism the supported him through to his plat- war same way form shift from "compassionate he's managed to stay out of Haiti conservative" to "besieged and Darfur in recent weeks? SEND LETTERS wartime American president." Canada and Martin need to His recent soujourn to Canada avoid becoming the American TOJTHECORD! lite. A differentiation in this past week has brought out the foreign be most virulent of anti-American policy must pursued to ensure that sentiment in Canada as upwards Martin's pragmatic econom- ic doesn't into of 5,000 protester converged on cooperation spiral Parliament Hill. tacit acceptance of American the adventurism. Canada even brought out [email protected] l_ Opinion7 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly The homeless and abandoned Sweet, sweet exams is done Fraser MacDonald Eve, Santa is probably mad at Chris Clemens for out with you making your He's Unaddicted cousin back in grade school. always watching. toward isn't needed. There is never handler extends their cup any night I slept outside I feel shame in listener Last Year's Entertainment me, always an incredibly being a good Monday had Queen's Park. I my The Joys of Family And I learned a strong urge to hand over my by listening, two of cloth- sleeping bag, layers "I to be done Premise: You to home and with can't wait get go hard-earned After inter- lot. One middle aged man a head filled with mild money. and a with wholesome ing The resent- saturate yourself illu- already." resounding acting in a social context with recurring alcohol problem when I off apprehension plunged echoes love. Bonus of his ment across campus, mag- family game: Keep street people it becomes evident minated the intensity the Greyhound bus into the childhood and don't nified by every deadline and your image that this 'sense of guilt' is inter- struggle. Living outside in con- downtown The familiar core. time let the find out what a slut weather compounded each we fall parents nally brewed and not necessarily sistently below freezing I noticed that it first thing was down the We become! be library stairs. stress, you've a result of being pressured. Yes, can seem to quite a good rea- wasn't too cold, at least not like Home-cooked meals but and the we cry, we gorge, we drug our- Advantages: they want financial help, son to drink numb sens- of Toronto's winter some past four food - selves to survive. Exams loom that cover all groups The local shelters on more importantly, they want to es. are general- nights. the none of which is Pizza Pizza, with horizon, one final deathtrap be acknowledged as worthy of a ly dangerous places occa- As I readied for the myself in - Sometimes placed our paths before shockingly enough. mutually respectful relationship. sionally hostile mixes of people. it became abundantly clear night what? Freedom? The end of family can be nice. Substance abuse is an accept- to that I had idea what to me no dreaded level 4-1? Drawbacks: Sometimes family ed method of survival in street Would there be so massive expect. angry The forty or people Nondenominational holiday fes- can be infuriating, con- culture (just as morning, after- of How diffi- throngs protesters? tivities? strictions on personal priva- who left their beds and late coffee your noon night is cult would it be to find sister my this and freedom, are of It's an inexplicable goal, cy your parents behind to sleep in deemed vital for completion a and her friend? Between these for becom- reward which keeps us probably mad at you University degree). Overall, this dangling intermittent of uncertain- solidarity with the periods fin- a and/or alcoholic of running towards the semester ing pothead an man displayed a keen sense what it would be ty, I imagined park inhabitants were without them first. ish line. Think about it. What are consulting what he needed to do to improve cloth- like to brave the damp, met with warmth. to finish school for? his life but also pointed out the you rushing cold that penetrating, wet usually The Joys of Being Done obstacles. This inadvertently envelopes the city. finished the The Joys of the Christmas Premise: You're The night rolled along with- spumed me to recall the many The event I participated in Miracle semester! out until an different resolutions I have made any problem was organized to raise public No all- Premise: Jesus died for our sins, Advantages: more overzealous grad student from but never followed through with. awareness and to learn some- caffeine addiction or and now we get to look at candles nighters, UofT began interrogating an oth- Clearly it is not the best endured thing about the struggles convulsions. You're done! and babies and stuff and our stress erwise genial lady about her choice to succumb to substance par- homeless by people. Looking will make Drawbacks: at ents probably us watch Tragically failing description of a beating that four abuse problems, but ineffective of back, I can't think a more back The Passion of the Christ in addi- least one class, coming right cops gave her in an alleyway. He willpower should not be grounds valuable use of time. with my in two weeks to start know the condemn and tion to the usual bevy of again was curious to why to another who person The forty or so people Christmas propaganda. automatonic rigor, your profes- police chose to assault her and their problems. In fact, it should left their beds behind to in sleep mad at for because Advantages: You're not going to sors are probably you break her nose - of course be a reason to help them solidarity with the regular park there have been that hell, guy! being so stupid. assuming must a we all share same inability to inhabitants were all blessed with Drawbacks: The Passion is a valid reason. Perhaps uncon- live up to our ideals - that's part warm, conscientious and inspir- snuff Christmas is The of Pessimism the statistic of what makes human. film, mysteri- Joys vinced by that 10 us Given the ing personalities. grim Premise: Cord column ously meaningless to non- Writing a percent of street people are sub- And yet only the NDP saw reality of the situation - a very Christians, Jesus is probably mad about how badly everyone wants jected to unprovoked beatings, the value in inviting representa- articulate and informed organizer to be done school and then twist- at for looking at all that porn his aim was to voice his own tives from the homeless popula- you offered his calculation that at should've been it to the worst the issue. tion into share their when you study- ing cruelly expose opinion on Quite parliament to 200,000 affordable minimum, about everything they're with ideas. So is it that the ing. parts insulted, the woman, the why major- units need to be created housing forward to after exams. confronted of did looking help of a protestor, ity parliamentary officials in Ontario alone - I expected The Joys of Christmas Presents Advantages: Sarcastically cool, the student and expressed deep not take this chance to listen? demonstrators to be seething it's to Premise: Santa Claus breaks into easy criticize the holidays, discontent his Could not 20 minutes? with for regarding inability they spare a revolutionary passion with houses across the world and you fit in perfectly today's to empathize. Were they too full from their But this wasn't the case; change. MTV leaves us defying con- generation. Initially, when the woman $500-a-head dinners the night presents, in fact, the prevailing attitude ventional physics and providing Drawbacks: Hating life is began yelling at the student, I before? was one of hope, not of no- hol- a cliche, lazy ad agencies with an easy becoming huge philo- wondered what good there was In their defence, maybe they holds-barred rebellion. confrontational of iday marketing angle. sophical gang-beatings, every- in but as understand the plight involved the being already Every person in for Advantages: Christmas cash body is probably mad at you the situation unfolded it became their fellow man. Or maybe they event seemed to to willing fight this column into serious allows to recommence. turning a clear that her reaction was war- are addicted to their illusions of drinking be human in world full of a petty buzzkill. Drawbacks: an evil year-ending ranted. Silently observing, I'm Canadian good fortune. Does Supporting concerns. time else feel like consumerist society, finding glad I reserved my judgment anybody kicking In that instant when a pan- when But look to buy exams only deeper. because sometimes an opinion the habit? I know I do. presents end the day before Christmas Letters to the Editor [email protected] her Cheers to Brantford empire making one of colonies an General Manager Mike Council "Bouncil" is indeed a "step- maintenance. stood in front of independent nation but giving them McMahon has been instrumental as ping stone" in this However, Dean Campbell autonomy, King! process. defend themselves from the in its WLUSU Brantford cannot the concerned attendees in a no means to project manager guiding currently many outside intrusion. That's how development through the university realistically provide for the needs of building that has seen no meaningful I am responding to Fraser King's Waterloo and Brantford and Council. His alone its students without aid from the which made me think campus are City salary upkeep, really excellent critique of the governing the arts like now. IfBrantford is to function as would be more than the entire Union as a whole. WLUSU provides where all our funding for for Waterloo structure campus and should be is a it should have a WLUSU Brantford Brantford with invaluable leadership, going. Obviously, money WLU. I university campus, budget, leaving Brantford campus at went to of students for services and like the states separate governing body no money events experience, guidance and resources. issue even though Campbell Brantford first and I during my year Brantford interests with Seasonal Brantford has wonder- that it is not. representing the Celebration, LSFL, Foot The campus a must say I found that I identified with ful take the the the main only a miniscule contact with main Patrol, or the Santa Claus Parade, let opportunity to successes During meeting, Brantford campus much more than This of alone a new Would it be fair of the Union and them to our questions were concerning course with main In I campus. joint governance building. apply campus. fact, initially both the and campuses under WLUSU will for business, science and arts pro- own governance structure. Including availability, faculty replacements, thought Brantford was the only cam- become lack of visual culture. However, eventually unworkable, grams to bond together and leave Brantford students in the Union bene- our pus for WLU. I have since learned I seemed fixated on the despite the fact that WLUSU has music majors to fend for themselves? fits both campuses - we are a stronger the Dean pretty was incorrect. he would be to with it. Of course that's not how run voice united than if we were If idea that this In managed cope not, you apart. leaving Brantford, we were basically and could I commend Fraser for his successful are interested in more not say and King a university. you learning upcoming year on our own Waterloo was proba- column. I don't know if he is a former Brantford is building and it's about the Brantford campus, the much about the future of the Fine Arts bly the farthest thing from anybody's Brantford student but he in the last few the And of our or current, come a long way years. Bouncil and WLUSU Brantford program. considering two mind. When elections were held for in student would extend invita- best isn't the first one I've read The Independent government is a team like to an fine arts professors, Micheal Student Union President back in 2003 Cord will be to address this issue. goal for Brantford, but it can't be just tion to you for a visit. Manson and Elsa Freisen, and the candidates came to Brantford to it needs to be this shouldn't Campbell to given us, developed. retiring year speak with students, it made me Alan Kan If are interested in down Sara Neziol have about the implications From you coming thought laugh. some of what these peo- and seeing the campus for yourself, Brantford Campus Commissioner of their retirement earlier? ple were saying, they knew absolute- within the Fine Arts Brantford's not to the Bouncil extends an invitation to Asli Arif Issues pro- ly jack about the Brantford situation. ready since 2000, Mr. King. Hope to see soon. Coordinator have been brewing And it burns it its you you Brantford Campus Life gram just me to hear that go on own and Campbell decides that this year is WLUSU still calls all the shots for a know Brad a time to let students Murray Don't erase our "good" in another In to editorial passions, subsidiary campus city, response your that there program is out? when the Brantford phasing student reps don't 'Brantford Autonomy' I would have Dean Campbell What are students to say have that Brantford is supposed much power. to say I disagree. I would like to independence Fine is and do now that Laurier's Arts is about remind that enrollment Laurier I student King right giving you at the ultimate goal am a second fine arts year student's on the way out—limiting Brantford a Brantford this is separate independent year somewhere and have never really questioned the opportunities to enroll in studio I'm a sci- around 1000 full time students. We This letter is in school has for governing body. political response to Fraser amount of concern our courses and elective courses of ence student, a politically active one are eager to, how did you put it.., "get King's editorial "Brantford the Fine Arts until after the meeting choice? This is disappointing because at that and I the analo- teeth back in" and can appreciate our govern our Autonomy." It is important to know with the Dean of Arts. The meeting tool studio art education is a valuable gy he used about Waterloo MPP but don't have the that in the a rep- campus we long run, an independently was held in our studio on Lodge that provides students with crea 1 resenting Edmonton. bet- resources to our own Brantford student be people in A form separate run government is Street, a 1997 project that seems to ter would be the British union. - Letters, 30 analogy the goal of WLUSU. The Campus borderline satisfactory in terms of Please see page 8 Opinion Wednesday December 1, 2004 • The Cord Weekly Union needs to "That is so gay" treat employees with Marcos Moldes greater respect Homophobic slang, in a negative or casual context, is still an My So Called Queer Life insidious and biting language While standing in the hallway myself getting angrier and angri- bic because you know gay people and for waiting my next class to claim have er as the two girls walked by or you to gay friends out I few empty overheard a snip- is like without realizing that they had exactly saying you aren't of The senior WLUSU pets a conversation two girls Ken Braithwaite manage- insulted a perfect stranger with racist because you know black needs understand that were as me. ment to having they passed comments. In the of claim to have their span a people or black "He called last I there aren't fewer out me night; these friends. is people few seconds two girls, Homophobia a much Former Wilfs aren't was so nervous that I stuttered the drinking, they just drinking freshly minted out of the more insidious and terrible frame whole time," exclaimed one the Bartender at the campus bars. Wilfs has of Laurier, of mind than "Kimmy" factory simply hating or and should in the boots been, be, a significant girls really tacky Ugg from mild managed to turn me a fearing queer people; homopho- student (face it those are of life, but some- people, things mannered to us and makes part student an angry, bia separates gay couldn't the hideous; help noticing where the line the go buy yourself some the and I along powers militant agenda of rage homo. people suspicious feared that made the real collage up that be have disregarded the bar's shoes). "other." nine of this "You pages through ten to contribute to the are so gay!" said the obligation By saying an expression like week's Cord, which focused on also afore- I could feel blood enhancement of student life at other girl, sporting the my "that's so gay," people are imply- the current state of Laurier's on mentioned boots. Laurier. boil as soon as she that is ing gay identity stupid or pub/restaurant, Wilf's. I could feel blood start to campus Surely a school with a total my uttered that horrible somehow just not right (I just As a former of Wilf's enrollment boil as soon as she uttered that employee of over 10,000 stu- wanted to out that expression. Like a point you of the who As and one bartenders dents should be able to convince horrible expression. someone in never see a gay guy Ugg boots, back wax it was in the few weeks, I who out in I resigned past 285 of them to fill Wilf's on came high school, any maybe people need to rethink that if feel some responsibility to got used to hearing homophobic painful only briefly. given night. implication). When you come of the explain a few problems remarks and expressions, so they down to it, my queer lifestyle the restaurant. don't bother currently facing usually even me isn't different from They probably hadn't even exactly any A deal of at Wilf's great Working was very anymore. realized that what said could other students': they readings, essays, different this as to confusion I think remarks like, year compared amongst stupid be offen- work and when I can a few perceived as hurtful or scrape and this became a seri- "that's so are kind of like a past staff and gay," a years manage- sive; they probably thought of dollars together I splurge on I used back and ous problem for me. to wax: painful uncom- ment resulted in the themselves as really open-mind- few pints at McMullans. walk into Wilf's at anytime, day fortable if only briefly. But you liberal I'm Instead of them a treatment of ed, people. sure they giving dirty and find of poor with back like or night, some my put up a wax just didn't have a conscious agenda of look as they walked past me I out. I Wilf's employees. friends hanging was always put with homophobic you up homophobia and didn't think should have taken the first step: there and because remarks because are both so were they, they anything of using that expression. approached them and told them had we liked there. We a to be painful, so being With respect to complaints always going But sometimes hate manifests that comments like "that's so each well not only with might as just learn to relationship concerning the inconsistency of you in tacit and are still itself very implicit gay" offensive, regard- with bar itself live with it. other but also the Wilf's service and food less of how much 'Will and quality, ways. which a atmos- In this case for produced great students must realize that Wilf's though, to Grace' that Which brings me my point: implies homophobia that rubbed off on unknown I could feel phere surely of a hundred reasons, is employs upwards saying that you aren't homopho- over. who happened to drop other everyone part-time students; any by- restaurant in the city employs less Changing policies handed than forty people whose first pri- down senior WLUSU by man- ority is work, not school. For this of the Students' Union agement reason it is unlikely that Wilf's created have, however, a great has the to be consis- Pictorial potential as Campus deal of confusion staff amongst tent as other bar/restaurants in the and that has resulted management area. Wilf's has always had these in the treatment of not Editorial poor employ- inconsistencies and likely always Bryn Boyce's Campus Pictorial does necessarily reflect the views or opinions of the The Cord Weekly's would like the Pictorial Board, its volunteers, or WLU Student Publications. Any readers who to comment on Campus ees and an uncomfortable work- but in will, previous years they may submit a letter to [email protected], and must adhere to the letters policy of The Cord Weekly. environment. Restrictions put ing were overshadowed by the fact in place by the Union meant man- had that it was busy and people had little and agement input even fun there. less in the decision say making I offer this advice to the The unfortunate process. truly Union: treat the student employ- of this is that control consequence ees with the respect they deserve, is taken out of apparently being provide a setting for them to the hands of people with actual develop a social attachment to experience running such an oper- their bar and. heck, even give ation. them a few perks. Keep them The of this surprising aspect happy and they will enjoy coming whole ordeal is that the senior to work; they will choose to drink with management seems content there rather than the bar down the the fact that Wilf's isn't nearly as street and they will bring their in busy as years past. They appear friends with them. This industry to withdraw from sort of seri- any relies heavily on the ability to blam- ous promotional campaign, provide an enjoyable atmosphere. the increased ing underage popu- This atmosphere, in turn, relies lation at Laurier for the decline in heavily on the people who work the I bar patronage across city. go there. out occasionally and see the same at line ups as always Philthy's, Editor's Note: Ken Braithwaite even the Silver Phil's, Louie's; resigned as a Wilf's bartender on Spur experiences a constant flow October 28, 2004. of night life. Cord Opinion Is Looking For: - Cartoonists - Ouest Columnists Photograph by Bryn Boyce email [email protected] Sustainable Paving: This parking spot in the Laurier Place enclave symbolizes the eter- nal confrontation between and The in which the defiant in the man nature. way tree, so face of and and meld rise to the old Stop press, pal Ms® tm : modernity progress, asphalt together give age ques- class." tion: "Where's my fucking swede saw, I'm late for my 'Evil And It's Symbols' £M| tmiom entedng. lifl Br , , ...V," •.;,• -v?: I. .. .-aL:... '■ Rae Review 9 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly The Rae Review On Postsecondary Education Quality Accessibility Funding System Design Accountability Support for Arts needed Education at the is total donations. Rae, from Cover But system changing. corporate of Business The federal The Faculty can government's province to disperse as they and attest to this drop in corporate and Natural Science Engineering choose, while the Federal govern- private donation since the dereg- Research Council (NSERC) set the crossroads ment retains control over ulation of the SBE their 2004-2005 at $850 a program was, budget grant procedure. in part, because of a shortage of million while the malnourished This has turned the whole funds - both private and public. Social Sciences and Humanities PSE situation into bit of a a The where Council days program expan- Research (SSHRC) post- between the fed- Institutions in each power struggle million. Dr. Bob Rosehart system sions and unfunded students ed a budget of $230 allowed continue eral and provincial should be to to governments could be supported through the This trend is spreading who is better suited differentiate and evolve. Any new over to of PSE. generosity of corporate Canada throughout all areas orchestrate innovation in the PSE for credit transfer should More and students are system are gone. more until this WLU President from a system - although up trend in col- respect, quality perspec- The new disturbing being encouraged to enter the review neither government has tive, distinctively different the private sector and federal leges and universities with their the Rae Review is me, in been too to the eager diagnose - the post-secondary experience government funding is a selective "eyes on the prize" six-fig- Toabout one issue. Is there or is condition. each sector, as well as the aca- system's of funneling process where money ure-plus high-tech job. Many there not for You support quality pub- demic of both col- can see the beginning of students overlook the independence flows to specific areas of educa- these funded edu- licly post-secondary and universities. Therole of a blame game starting here. the criti- leges tion - namely business and engi- importance of building cation in Ontario? This is the cen- should be Canada reduces funding to government to provide neering. Usually, there's hardly a cal thinking skills offered in an tral which often lost cut question gets financial and provinces, provinces funding and encouragement dime (well, maybe just one) Arts education even more in the multitude of issues to universities policy showcase the successful exam- universities, bump and their given to the social sciences disturbing, they suppress in front of the Rae Review. Laurier Brantford and tuition and the student more. ples (i.e. pays humanities. genuine academic interests in It is clear that if additional Mohawk Students get Canada and College). angry, In 2003, the Canadian Centre order to take choke down a 'bit- public is not to be found, Ontario deflect the at each funding anger for Alternatives that 'at Policy reported ter-pill' program they tuition fees will have fur- to go up other pointing to their respective The Rae Review Is that 51 percent of Ontario's least' perceive to be profitable. ther and that reforms will be and then nec- successes they squabble There's lot be done fund (meant to boost a to with one issue. Superßuild the student about Is essary on aid package amongst themselves. university infrastructure with regard to funding in Ontario but to ensure student there or is there not every qualified Colleges and universities had projects like the Bricker until both the federal and provin- enters of been buffered from this university regardless for quality always cial sit down support Academic Building) and 62 per- government togeth- their financial situation. between the funded political jockeying and to with the publicly cent of corporate donations (like er agree dispense studies to the Although, point two levels of government by a education in Ontario? those used to fund part of the territorial pissings of government opposite, I believe that the "stick- active and fairly generous private little will be Schlegel Center) were being jurisdiction, very fees er shock" of higher does sector. Their donations, in the directed toward business and accomplished. intimidate some able students, I endorse the 1950s and 60s especially, meant strongly position It remains to be seen whether engineering programs. them from the keeping pursuing forward the WLUSU sub- that universities could pursue put by By contrast, the social sci- Bob Rae's Review will make the university option. areas mission which a better funding options from other that proposes ences and humanities received waves so many students, fac- My model would of to preferred of funding the Accessible society supplement for. way govern- three percent of Superßuild funds ulty and citizens are hoping tuition see fees represent, on ment contributions. on Hall Learning Program campus. and less than one percent of the At a recent Town meeting, average, 30% of the total cost. Rather than institutional size, the Former Ontario PC Premier Bill This I feel is a reasonable balance WLUSU brief the Rae Review to Davis stressed that the Rae between the individual cost and that the fund- quite rightly argues Review's recommendations must benefit versus the contribution of ing should be based on the num- take into account the budgetary society at large. I also feel that ber of accessible learning stu- realities of government. "I would regardless of financial abilities, dents being served. Almost too this behalf of Mr. that say on Rae, merit based should scholarships logical. he may not meet all your expecta- continue. convinced I am much good tions in the report [since] there A lot of the Rae Review input will come from the Rae Review, view." are differing points of has focused on the college-uni- not just in additional support Will Rae's prescriptions be versity interface and the desire of from government but also the Rae him nomina- enough to garner a some to offer colleges more Review has afforded an opportu- tion in the wildly anticipated degree-like This is a programs. to the nity acquaint general public 2015 CBC Greatest Canadian mistake. with the dire straits of the college competition? Can he show us the Ontario is well served two by and university systems. I suspect cure for Ontario's post-secondary distinct of systems post-second- the Rae Review recommenda- funding hangover? It's hard to ary education and the colleges tions will focus not so much on the students say. But, as always, should continue have to primary the institutions but "on rather the have wait. are just going to to focus on skilled to trades, school students and what works for And then see. college programs and continuing them." education. InfoGraphic By Greg Smith - Stats from Rae Review Discussion Paper Rae Review December - 10 Wednesday 1, 2004 The Cord Weekly Rae consultations give illusion of democracy are four other sections that Dr. Herbert Pimlott pro- vide information for getting involved. Such processes encom- pass either attending a 'town hall' or 'roundtable Media Critic meeting dialogue', working through a 'workbook', either in print or online, and/or communication is to democ- If submitting your own document, what arteries are to the In racy, questions or commentary. body, then the Ontario addition, there is access to statis- Postsecondary Review, headed tics and various selected reports by the Honourable Bob Rae, from different countries and seems to be a genuine attempt to provinces. been ensure a healthy 'body politic'. Submissions have Unlike recent Ontario govern- accepted via different modes of ments, Dalton McGuinty's communication, since the Liberals at least appeal's to be announcement of the start of the interested in consulting the public Review on October Ist: online, issue: the and in over a very important mail, fax, e-mail, even per- of the Rae future funding and design son. As of November 24, Ontario's colleges and universi- Review had received 304 submis- ties. sions from individuals, 102 from Public consultations are associations and 52 from institu- of total of 855 workbooks increasingly part the commu- tions. A nication of democra- had been processes completed. According and focus the Ruth cies, just as polling to Project Manager, last out of 10 it hall' meeting. As of next week, seen as having greater legitimacy provinces!), of are now an integral Mac the Secretariat is small. that least of groups part Kay, 'town hall' meetings will have than higher levels of government seemed at two the campaigning. It is composed of only 15 people, 'local- members would take the political been held in 17 different commu- because of its (supposed) panel at how Rae Let's look the who are responsible for every- nities which is to offer counter- across the province. ness' meant to connote a microphone is communi- Review engaged in thing from scheduling and or anecdotes that The 'town hall' meeting is a greater sense of participation. explanations with the public. telephones to carrying and cating answering metaphor, like the 'roundtable The 'town hall' last Thursday raised the spectre of wealthy is 'web and There a presence' out research posting material dialogue', for the public events at Conestoga College was most middle-class students being sub- is meant to facilitate the website. which to where members of the Advisory illuminating. For most of the time sidized by ordinary citizens access to bureaucrats and politi- Indeed, one of the more I who've been able Panel meet with those self-select- I was there, could not help but never to go to cians of a desire to make in this as part encouraging signs process that were ing Ontarians that have chosen, notice some people university. more accountable to of consultation has been attempt- chosen of The town hall government for various reasons, to attend: never (I was not aware meeting is a to the website its citizens (Canada actually ing keep updated students reminded me that communication professors, administrators, staff, any university being world leader in hardware innova- with representative and unique micro- also be rather than students, parents. While not a chosen to speak from the can one-way tions and information from of town technology excerpts transcripts 'town hall meeting' in the origi- phone). More revealingly than two-way, especially when those and applications which enhance hall meetings, various reports nal literal the title harks is who to the or sense, any possible fluke, however, get shape questions to different levels of and selected access gov- submissions, ques- that time someone from the hear (or the answers back to a 'golden age' of local, every only accept) for its citizens). tions, commentaries and ernment possible participatory democracy. floor raised the issue about low- they wantto. Indeed, the way lan- The website is user-friendly solutions. fees is used in the Review's This is the notion of democra- ering tuition or increasing guage Besides and to navigate. Perhaps most interesting, and federal to that easy cy that is local and therefore the provincial gov- documents appears imply Rae's and from communications message an explana- a perspec- to for to accessible everyone. And ernments' funding postsec- some answers are more likely tion of what the Review is, there tive on democracy, is the 'town because it is local, it is usually ondary institutions (Ontario is be accepted than others. CANADA COMPUTERS STORE SPECIALS — —— /-— Z-5500Speaker Svstem 21' Flat CRT MonitorReturb. "X /gm TrmiPlMatP 93nfh Palm Hre 72 Handheld Logitech HUCI 11 aVGIItIaIGtuUU Purchase LG Xnote notebook 30 day warranty .j&&' any IftPCklTlCft lloll€)fOC ] —, .pn EETar9UsC3rrym9Case Mreillß ndUdTO tr^ {TM23031C1-NPHI M JS :a rffflß* ,| /ffl® ® *SS5> (model frCTM3OO "while quantities last) Additionally jlßfe Tmw isuß&oxnoie &?«.*»« If ■ acer »»««'-• .-**»«.«»-» '■"•"•ssss?* ~ ®112 • &• &m * I,SGHz ~*. ,< I ■ y- c , -» • Celeion-M .My llr,or-r«»ilti 40! Creative MutloSlim MP3Player i >■'•>«, I m i 1 MS Wireless Optical Desktop 17" CRT MonitorReturb. / optical Drive [? 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AGP Video C- 1,44M8 Floppy Drive, 52x CD-Writer 20 :. Hjngslonsl2MßPG-320Q000400 512M8145i) '•Pr.>du-;l^i, y;.;»i:^ ——— Sssfe V4i x— N s \ ICBt6OxJ BenorpssiDmco PD-3200DDR4OO v a ftnacerHT2o2oSß2.onnve Uii*K [002 j [ "nHsysWirelessGNetworking| 26 8i45xi ™"erwi^ Media Ridata4BxlooPCSCD R 256M8 Canon CanoSuan IiDE 30Refurb. Premier Series IGB \V4v I fIHE| (2K512M81 \l\f W&P ""Jar iS£> 'S ■<2£» WMPS4B/Wir»less-G 188 Dual Channel Kit CAS2.S M M nß%y , j[;\ Canon 1560Bubb'etetPrmterRefurb. (OCZ4OOIO24PDC-KI p NoiBbo|UdBß>erWPC&46 Pine4K4.76BB#oßMedia Kingmax2s6MßSDCard{6oxl CanonMulUPASSMP37oPrinter 25 PackSpindlo •Alter 560 mir <2P ""'| JK j J (2P iitu" »zST,n. Waterloo Markham Kingston Head Office Toronto North York Mlsslssauga Richmond Steeies 350 Princess St. Warden and Steeles and Spadina and Finch Mavis and Major Mac. and Bayview University and King Kennedy and College Yonge Eglinton Dr. E. Unit E76 Tel: 542-8467 170 Ferrier Unit 1 343 St. 5799 St. Unit 100 640 Ave West 1070 Major Mackenzie - E., Street, 253 King St N Unit 1B 4300 Steeles Ave. (613) College Yonge Eglinton 415-3563 Tel: 946-9688 Tel: 926-0107 Tel: (416) 733-4481 Tel: (905) 568-9737 Bulding M Tel: (519) 342-8039 Tel: (905) (905) (416) 2 Visa Ail 2% cash discounted, or Master Card are on regular prices. prices are already payment Prinoc anH nmHi ir-tc in effort nor nor (1Q 9004 rrices ana proaucis in eTTeci uec.utJ, zuut for Pricftc, are aublacteiito without notice — Erariiirts mav not ha aa shown spp chanoa International11 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Housing lights violation a world issue The COHRE awards highlight global housing rights abuses and seek to reward countries and people fighting for housing rights KRIS COTE the political will exists." International Editor Sudan was named one of three housing rights violators Geneva-based organization, because of the massive distur- A the Centre on Housing bance caused by fighting in and Evictions (COHRE), Rights Darfur. To date, 1.6 million has bestowed Sudan, Russia and Darfurians have fled the country, America with their 2004 Housing with most ending up in refugee Awards, while Rights Violator in Chad. there camps However, honouring Brazil and an activist are another two million internally from India for their housing displaced refugees inside Sudan, work. rights centred mainly on the capital, The annual COHRE awards Khartoum, where 270,000 people in 2002 and seek began to high- overcrowded live in four camps. and light "particularly egregious COHRE condemns the treat- housing rights viola- pervasive ment of Sudanese refugees, not- in the tions preceding year." The in which have ing cases camps Contributed Photo COHRE is in program steeped been tear-gassed by Sudanese the Universal Declaration of The COHRE condemns the U.S. for its criminalization of homelessness. Despite being the wealthiest police and military forces. In the world, four million Americans are homeless and the rate is Human Rights and is guided to country in nearly growing. another instance, a shanty town worldwide. protect housing rights the of Khartoum violations." The on outskirts was that "discrimination against scathing criticisms on the U.S., human rights While Brazil has in the past bulldozed to make room for resi- is reveals that racial discrim- minority groups such as the where Leckie laments that "it a report been recognized for its housing dential development, leaving Roma" tarnishes Russian efforts disgrace that literally millions of ination is entrenched in America. has rights abuses, COHRE recog- homeless. 13,000 completely to stem homelessness. Although people live on city streets or in Fifty percent of the homeless are nized the Bairro Legal (Legal Continued attacks on refugees official data is lacking, the report homeless shelters in the wealthi- African American, while Native of Sao Neighbourhood) program exacerbate the situation. believes approximately four mil- est nation in the world." Americans and Latinos also suf- initia- Paulo as an exemplarily Russia's condemnation cen- lion Russian adults W. fer levels of are homeless, Since President George proportionally high The assisted tive. program 45,000 the Chechen conflict. It tres on as are another 2.8 million Russian Bush has taken office, homeless- homelessness. families in title to obtaining legal has forced to flee to the children. in the attacks many ness has risen, due part to cuts Citing recent on their land, protecting their rights, neighbouring territory of to social services. Homelessness Fallujah in Iraq, the COHRE and safeguarding them from evic- Ingushetia in 1999, and 106,000 13 in 2002 and condemns the U.S. for its "It is a disgrace that grew by percent report The Bairro tion. Legal program remained in the makeshift people by 19 percent in 2003. While 3.5 abuse of the Geneva also the condi- literally millions of improved living November 2002. camps by million Americans live on the Conventions, which as a signato- tion for 210,000 people by are homeless of people of the home- bind "not to Despite promises protection streets, 42 percent ry power, the U.S. infrastruc- upgrading community and the Russian in wealthiest civilian under- compensation, the less population are employed but destroy housing or ture. has harassed the receive to take collective Two government nation in the world." do not enough pay pro- punishment." COHRE's Executive Director, refugees into returning to vide for their shelter. hundred and fifty thousand resi- Scott Leckie, is of Sao proud without - Scott Leckie, COHRE Executive the dents fled while the Chechnya compensation At same time, homeless- Fallujah, Paulo's achievements, noting that or where who remained behind had adequate housing, many Director ness has been criminalized in 50,000 their efforts are "testimony to the now live in substandard and dan- nearly 50 states. Leckie believes their water and electricity servic- to fact that the right adequate conditions. gerous The report pins its most that this is "effectively punishing es cut. be made if housing can a reality As well, Leckie points out those who are already victims of Ugandan leaders push closer to peace KYLE BOULDEN Staff Writer In towards last a bold move peace week, the Ugandan government and rebels of the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) volun- tarily agreed to extend a tempo- cease-fire aimed facilitat- rary at ing peace talks. The Ugandan conflict has now lasted 18 years and has displaced upwards of 1.5 million people. Both sides agreed to extend the previous cease-fire, which Contributed Photo had expired last Tuesday, until December 3rd. Ugandan The Lord's Resistance Army impresses children into its ranks, forcing thousands flee for President Yoweri Museveni had to to larger cities safety every night. declared the original truce on tion from the United Nations ties; however the LRA is particu- November 14 in to response an Security Council. The representa- larly infamous for its brutality. the LRA revive offer by to peace tives met with President The rebels have often targeted talks. Previous to attempts nego- Museveni and him settle urged to civilians, cutting off ears and held tiate peace, 10 years ago, the conflict in order to deal with limbs. They have also kidnapped ended in failure over allegations the humanitarian crisis that has thousands of children to serve as of bad faith from both sides. in developed war-ravaged soldiers, labourers and sex slaves. A senior LRA official met Northern Uganda. The LRA is commanded by with government mediators last Non-governmental organiza- self-proclaimed prophet Joseph and week, negotiations are ongo- tions working in Northern Kony, who claims to have spiritu- from ing. Although suffering a have criti- al Uganda repeatedly powers and leads a rebel army lack of trust, both sides have cized the Security Council for almost entirely composed of pledged themselves to the new failing to address the situation abducted child soldiers. peace process. Ugandan there, and criticism continued Considered to be dangerous and Information Minister James after the Thursday meeting. Stella psychologically unstable, many Nsaba Buturo stated that "the Ayo Odongo, chairperson of the of the child soldiers have been extension decision shows that the for Civil Society Organizations for fighting over 10 years and are government is entirely committed Peace in Northern Uganda in their 20s. to the peaceful resolution of the (CSOPNU), complained that The Lord's Resistance Army conflict." The government has "here is another wasted opportu- also has the dubious distinction asked rebel forces to come out of and of nity to bring a just lasting being the first case to be inves- hiding and assemble in specific to the peace people of Uganda." tigated for possible crimes locations as an act of good faith. Over the 18 course of the year against humanity by the new Meanwhile, last Thursday old conflict, both sides have been International Criminal Court. The also saw the arrival of a delega- accused of human rights atroci- investigation is ongoing. International December 2004 - 12 Wednesday 1, The Cord Weekly Mob hands out street justice in Mexico War perpetuating MARY ERSKINE Staff Writer health crisis in Amid growing frustrations Iraq over police corruption, three undercover police officers were KRIS COTE mob internationalEditor attacked by a Mexico City last Tuesday, where they were Following the release of the con- lynched, beaten and burned. troversial Lancet report, a group Wide spread broadcasting of the of doctors from the organization incident, which was caught on Medact have stepped up criticism tape, provoked a massive over the health situation in Iraq from federal response police with the release of their report forces. Enduring Effects of War. The footage, which was cap- The Medact report is based on tured at the time of the incident aid and surveys of international and then broadcast on Mexico's health organizations such as major television networks, UNICEF. The report reveals that showed officer in civil- a young the health sector of Iraq is in a ian dress struggling to explain state of "disrepair" and that the Contributed Photo that he was an undercover federal is health sector worse off today officer. beaten, The man was then Federal police into the town of San Juan Ixayopan and arrest- swept than under the regime of Saddam ed retaliation the of three doused in gasoline, and set on 33 men in for killing officers. Hussein. fire. A second officer was then trol of inciters of these the scene. By this time, the or provocateurs "The war is a continuing pub- killed in the same manner; a third health disaster that two officers had been killed, and events" have been detained. The lic was pre- Contributed Photo later was critically wounded and in and should have been the third mortally wounded. 33 men arrested range age dictable- died in hospital. The Medact believes that Federal officers from all over from 14 to 58. preventable," Medact concludes, report The three officers were under- the health services of Iraqi has Mexico then swooped into the The immense reaction by offi- adding that "excess deaths and an deteriorated since the invasion. cover in San Juan Ixtayopan, cials is said be levels of illness region, including over 600 to not only a injuries and high outskirt of Mexico City of 35,000 direct and indirect results Since 2003, 400 Mexican FBI officers and 300 response to the killing of the offi- are the April women people. Varying reports indicate the of conflict." and as as have municipal officers, in an attempt cers, but also a response to ongoing girls young eight that they were investigating a to detain those responsible. To growing distrust of the Mexican The report looks at the broad- reported being raped, and school number of small drug operations has add to the confusion, political police forces. The general feeling based effects of the war and their attendance for girls dropped in which were operating the area. to health. motivations have created a power among Mexicans is that police issues pertaining Only by 50 percent. More likely reports point to sev- half of treatment its detailed recom- struggle between the municipal are either inept or corrupt. Iraq's sewage Amongst eral recent kidnappings of several The and federal police. lynchings are also part of plants have been repaired, and mendations, the underlying con- children from the local school. later trend in that conflict and vio- Officers responded to the an increasing dissident 500,000 tonnes of raw sewage are clusion is The undercover officers were rivers lence need to be curbed. The attacks with a series of mass Mexico, which is in response to pumped into daily. Only said to have been seen taking pic- to arrests. The televised event frustration with a corrupt govern- half of rural Iraqis have access report also calls for coalition tures outside of the school where showed heavily armed police ment and police officials. potable water. forces to monitor and record the had taken place. kidnappings mal- for officers, adorning bulletproof Neighborhood groups have The report warns that civilian casualties, and the Onlookers, that the believing with Geneva Convention to be vests, machine guns and protec- begun their own security meas- nourishment is spreading, upheld. officers had been abducting the the tive shields, entering housing at ures in order to curb the soaring percentage of underweight American forces have yet to sparked the riot by set- children, raids. crime Maria Eva night in 'Iraq-style' Images rates. Labana, a children rising by 17 percent comment on the report, but Iraq's off rooftop alarms, used as a ting dazed and hand- witness the of intern has lashed of men boys, 15-year-old to since 2000, and the number government out of security measure in some parts cuffed and laying in the dirt, were attacks, said she didn't regret chronically malnourished rising at its findings. Mexico City. Alerted by the "If 32 broadcast throughout Mexico. what happened. the police by percent. Iraq's deputy prime minister, alarms, inhabitants flooded the Of those taken into custody, aren't going to do anything, then The breakdown of the Iraqi Barham Saleh, asserted that while streets, and it took riot police in is "not officials have given few details the town has to take matters into economy has left many families the health situation Iraq more than two hours to gain con- He except to say that "the presumed their own hands." without work, forcing many good," it improving. also the women to turn to prostitution. places blame for the current The report warns that this situa- situation on "the level of devasta- left Adore southern tion is leading to an increased tion that Saddam Hussein has of well with thy neighbour spread HIV/AIDS, as as us was unimaginable." unsafe "back street" abortions. British authorities assert that Iraq's post-invasion instabili- the the report focuses too much Richard Togman ty has created a culture of insecu- on negatives. UK foreign secre- rity, which the report warns is tary Jack Straw stressed that 95 children have especially dangerous to the men- percent of Iraqi of in The since inva- tal health women Iraq. been immunized the Staff Writer of abduction 150 fear rape and pre- sion. Straw also noted that vents women from "fully partici- primary health care centres are Canadians are known for loving pating in the crucial early phases planned, and that a number of two and things; hockey bashing and the coun- of recovery reconstruction," hospitals in the south of most favoured Americans. Our well health for been renovated. as as "seeking care try have recently outlet for this is the United themselves and their children." Nations, where our love of every- Contributed Photo international law. reform with municipal elections. thing UN is contrasted with the relevant? Is the UN stuck in a rut and no longer In fact, the state that has done According to UN standards, American disregard. the should have sacred institution is the most to fulfill promises Saddam Hussein To Canadians, the UN is seen veto holding nation (the Soviet such a and is been for his and the War hopes of the UN the U.S. captured long ago as a benevolent, caring just Union). In any case, Gulf beyond me. Former President Woodrow prominent violations of human organization that encompasses a would have occurred regardless Moreover, Canadians hypo- murder of his own denounce America for Wilson established the founda- rights and the truly global perspective. of UN support as the Americans critically tions of the UN with his dream of If wishes to adore Sadaam its of the UN. people. one Canadians seem to regard every were prepared to engage disregard However, of Nations. As it for its for with without UN. when Canadian affairs under- the League well, and respect a body fight UN action as virtuous and pure, or the are the who human of liber- But In the scored the Canadians has been Americans led rights and pursuit without bias or malice. no other conflict has by UN, act then divert the fight in every UN authorized ty and freedom, your Canada views the UN with rose UN been utilized to fight on the indifferent just like Americans. the UN and war. America is also the largest praise from coloured glasses. When the true side of liberty and justice. The away contributor the to the the 59 has stood atrocities to UN. towards our neighbours record of the UN over past UN idly by as Canadians view the In other America has not flawless, but the been cases, South. They are years is examined, institu- have committed on a huge UN with rose- involved in the shown the most consis- is Even the entire gotten many they have tion's value called into ques- scale. ignoring of the that were too touchy for tent and forceful defence tion. history of the Cold War, the UN coloured glasses, places the America led NATO into which the UN of cri- witnessed the in UN. principles upon In dealing with any sort has genocide and then vent their Yugoslavia to stop ethnic cleans- was established. I challenge any- sis, famine, disease or war, the Rwanda, ethnic cleansing in frustrations against has to to that record. In the ing and felled the Taliban bring one name a country UN has a horrendous Yugoslavia, complete the U.S. and freedom to the more resources has of human in democracy put money, more fact, the UN almost no record destruction rights lives Ihe line for the Afghan people. Additionally, it and more on at all. The UN has engaged itself Afghanistan (especially towards China into of and the others.. The UN has attempts to pressure defense life, liberty in only two wars in its entire his- women) and countless ruled that the respecting human rights and has pursuit of happiness. tory, the Korean War and the first The abuse of the UN Charter funding of Catholic schools is in forced Saudi Arabia to begin to Gulf War. In both instances, the of Rights and Freedoms is astro- violation of international law of the UN remains since it discriminates war was not fought by any sort nomical, yet against the the true international force as the motionless. Currently, geno- other groups. Also, farming side overwhelming majority of cide in Sudan has received a res- subsidies and supply con- and olution the such as wheat boards, money, equipment troops reprimanding trols, the for its which Canada to came from Americans. Sudanese government employs protect its farmers is in clear violation of Additionally, in the case of involvement. No sanctions, no the Korean War, the UN was boots on the ground fighting for international rules regarding the trade and So far, involved in an essentially illegal justice and inalienable rights commerce. the all words. Canada has taken to manner as vote for war was we cherish, just empty no steps is of taken in the absence of a major, Why the UN still regarded as remedy its blatant violations International* 13 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly With Bush in Ottawa, the anti-war Windows totheWorld movement needs a new approach abuses erupted over the invasion, and Ed, and human rights Kris Cote push for the protection of human remain prevalent. rights in Iraq. The U.S. forces have not han- of The Geneva Convention must dled the occupation Iraq very be and citizens must be well, but if coalition forces were International Editor upheld, treated with respect. Unlawful to withdraw from the country, the would benefit When U.S. President George W. arrests are still prevalent, and only ones who Bush arrives in Canada this week, 'ghost detainees' have evaded the would be the religious fundamen- broadcast and announced he will be which are talists and leaders. The world We're not lying...or are scripted met by a welcoming support structures they announced the of thousands of NGO workers and to to who we? "the results by committee pro- guaranteed. needs listen Iraqi's are of little Central Electoral Commission The vocal those inside that Abu for and securi- After a decade serving as testers. most protest Iraq allege pleading stability Do not believe them." so far to have the Ghraib was not an but Canada and the world have more than mouthpieces of the are rigged. groups grabbed anomaly, ty. a broadcast the next media's attention are those call- rather it is the norm. the opportunity, and the responsi- government, several key During the show's news anchor for Bush's indictment as a A coalition of world to security and sta- Ukrainian news channels have night, ing powers bility, provide the in in without switched their stance in the wake assured viewers that "we're not war criminal, and those still call- must push U.S. to act a bility Iraq, pursuing of the have more." at for a removal of from lawful manner in Despite the agenda of the large protests which lying any Employees ing troops Iraq. imperialist Bush Administration. essentially shut the country the government regulated 1+ 1 Iraq. the cries of protesters, American unilateralism be dismantled down. network had been threatening to The anti-war movement was can but in but their coalition of During a broadcast on UT-1, resign en masse, an agree- important 2002, today by a support. ment which allows free- is no sign language interpreter Natalia greater message longer ..Through support, dom has been reached. with Canada Dmitruk broke away from the in check reality. can gain Their idea to indict access to Iraqi pol- and jail the leader of icy and push the the most powerful mil- /U.S. to protect the itary country of the rights of all citi- world is ironically dan- zens. ■ Complete 30-Hour Seminars One gerous, since these only need ■ Proven Test-Taking Strategies actions would no doubt to look to ■ Personalized Professional Instruction spark a war. 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And it continues... continuing ■ Thousands of Satisfied Students movements, such as the country before international The directors of Oxfam and Save However, pres- proposal to indict democratic forces Oxford Seminars on Khartoum the Children were order by sure was stepped up Zimbabwean President Robert \ jan gain control. 112 -800-269-6719 Save the Khartoum to leave Sudan following reports by Mugabe for crimes against', Varlords have gained 416-924-3240 because they had broken laws of Children that government planes humanity, a brief which actually control of the majority non-intervention. had bombed a village close to one has the potential of proceeding in :>f the country, Save the Children had been of their supply centres. Canadian the courts. providing food to nearly, 300,000 Prime Minister Paul Martin Protesting the situation in Iraq Get a local phone number and unlimited long believed he had achieved the people, while Oxfam has worked sup- by denouncing U.S. actions and in for than 20 of Khartoum last week after distance in Canada and USA for under $25 month! Sudan more years. port per calling for a complete withdrawal that the the lifted sanctions The government believes government ■ Remarkable features and much lower phone bills! is not a viable solution to the con- phone of against aid workers his groups were sending signals following ■ number this where flict. 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A dubious reality explain ourselves well," and the While it is obvious that the Based show the demand for on The Apprentice, The represents U.S. did not invade Iraq for better benevolent the Ambassador is an Israeli reality publicity. reasons, U.S. TV However, Peri does not program where prospective invasion of Iraq provides Canada, believe the is 'spin-doctors' fight for a job at an program addressing and the world, the opportunity to Israeli the He believes "the promotional agency. problem. protect the rights of the Iraqi reflects Yoram Peri, a professor of program a major problem civilians they ignored before the in Israeli We politics and media at Tel Aviv society. do not think invasion. For the sake of the lan- are valid in Canada. . . 4CH a believes we do but we University, that the pro- anything wrong guishing Iraqi's, the world needs EducationalConsultants An experience of a lifetime! 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HUMBER Campus Court Plaza, I (corner of Philip and University) It www.busmess.humberc.on.ca December 5, 2004 14Arts December - Wednesday 1, 2004 The Cord Weekly Funkified art auction for charity 'Innovative cutting edge bar experience' says creator of Funkification Project; Charity Art Auction at Vault Lounge this Friday CAITLIN HOWLETT it's not impossible." Editor-in-Chief Support from local artists contributing their talent and time Live painting, webcams, spinning has been "amazing" said Charles. and oil canvas unite on Friday He also found it ironic with the December at Vault 3 the Lounge unrelated cancellation of the Fine in what is not chari- your average Arts Laurier. program at "It's a art auction. ty coincidence that I'm trying to do Charles' Funkificaton Jeffrey something and the big institution continues into the holiday Project shuts the lights out - it's just iron- as he tries to 'bridge the season ic." Certain faculty members of the students and gap between the Fine Arts program according art.' community through Charles, Charles to have been very sup- an studies at independent major portive of the project. the University of Waterloo in his has last year, been working to "It's not latest installment necessarily promote the of to the his project. easy get little "It's partying with a bit students out, but it's and the end of class and style, at not impossible." of the night we are going to give back to the community," - Jeffrey Charles, The Charles. Tickets are explained Funkification Project $5.00 and the proceeds from the will be donated to the event Geared toward the creation of Waterloo Arts Council. Regional small business, the Funkification Those in attendance will get to Project is about creating a small witness live ParisHil painting by business with focus on the idea of Co-Lab, and live mixing of visu- small event management. At the al feeds with use of a webcam same time, Charles' hopes to will be the projected throughout address the issue of general dis- venue. Laurier's own DJs Shem content amongst students who are and Teelo along with DJ Serious finding it difficult to find ways to will provide what the project is spend their nights out. Finally, the calling the soundscape of the project will assist Charles in ful- event. filling his academic require- ments. "It's partying with a Charles won't deny the fact little bit of class and that his events are more simply defined "but as a giant style and at the end party, peo- ple can come out and contribute of night we are going to the community directly by pur- to back to the give chasing things their peers and community." local artists have created." Like many small business, - Jeffrey Charles, The Charles finds it difficult to reach the student but has Funkification Project population, found the support from media outlets to be quite helpful. Auctioned items will include "[Press] provides authenticity of the live art that is created some and students don't believe things the as well as during evening, until they read it," admitted and other photos, oil on canvas Charles, who says the involve- donations from local artists. ment of local media outlets has tickets of 200 Seventy-five the idea behind the helped get have been sold, but Charles project out into the community. with expects a solid turnout a lot To learn more about The of last minute decisions to come Funkification Project and the the event: "It's to not necessarily Charity Art Auction, please visit the students out, but easy to get www.funkificationproject.com Contributed Photo •' \. H wm MM jBP? auction. Jeffrey Charles, the man behind the Funkification Project, is excited about his upcoming charity Jgj" :% "Anyone who wants to see animation " pushed to its limits should go. -v, 2: Ghost in the Shell is rated 14A. Dec 3-7 Write Cord Arts So Dave Alexander can complain some more about the judging practices of poetry contests at Student Publications Arts 15 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Poetry Cord Arts Poetry Contest results Fifth Place When Runner-up Winner! we letgo Water Colors OH Emotions, When the swells, sea the night cracks, like pearls upon a Make the darkness light again. string mat balance- haven t been alone How do we know what is Real, dear You my 7. No voice or breath Till you ve seen through my eyes. And what is hollow, gone tofray? into the air, Blinded wandering by sugar, be said That eats the dark and sour Nothing to Sweetened with lemon, ofme, is left. Cut in half. The longest hour, the nibbled day, Even in head I hold the pieces in and my my hand, did the Oh how, oh how weforget the din is silent... My heartbreaks, Both Cause its hard tofake noisy highway feeling nothing but kiss. That love me. so a you the the thirstyfor In my ear, Clear, So anc Crystal You wet mouth you ignore me, your and hush Pretend I'm see though. roundeagood, with mine Pull a heart through The cheap regret ofthings that should? good bye... Tied with unsteadyfingers. We go separate Show me love you me, ways even ifour Show me best, Oh, how did we trick the Tail, your fairy wounds belong Smile ana turn around. The the whale? a rest ofIt, great sperm together... You left a disturbed mind and ■ Oh Yes, Hosanna Gloria, the To rot fadefromyour life. x Andrei Hocinug Sofuckyou, and Hallelujah Labia, Leave me with something; Gone into sand, to sink a Splash it with color; forever flag Take the off covers, upon my Land, So I can breath Written and up as Quick Dead, Ifly inside and all I Lianne Macdowall Around, my Head, want To know is: What Third Place The ghost of love is; What its Not. Forced Emotions Alana Viner Fourthplace in the cool embrace a I Sitting of shady tree, attempt to Fatigue's End write. The last have in the mindset. events of night left me Heavy eyes jailing; ideas there natural the and inspiration too, but I'm not a poet today. The state is at bottom. Unconscious acrobats tumble, Thursday I was a poet. But and the today's Saturday poetry's gone mute. Through hoops offlame extinguished a slow and breath I an entire with broken steady fill page fragments of failed By But those reservoirs are attempts spent. And pause momentarily to look at the drivel. Solders in that thefield; In tranquilsilence, nature itselfrejects me. Heavy artillery only sighs. The breeze and the picks up turns page, bullets The begin to waver not wanting to see pathetic musings longer. my any With the winds of change and doubt; It hurts little -that the weather takes notice a of my And though the trenches are rife with tar- insignificant thoughts only to reject them entirely. gets, But I continue write. to They're aiming only at themselves. Still, will come nothing of weight out. Every driver captain, pilot. I won't the emotions last In mid-air or sleeps. Perhaps capture of night. voyage, I need to that and the down. The motors continue to rumble; Perhaps accept justput pen Another shots and alarm clocks sound pause. Warning But what once raised armies and the dead, I the wind so another chance hope picks up again, I get to Is now the soundtrack to a dream. do this right. Ben Shragge Mike Brown 16•Feature December 2004 • The Cord '[\JilY '[IP~ s FROM THE CORD'S EDITORS Before an exam, Kris Kote likes ... Study tips from Bryan Shinn: "Doing something strenuous, like moun tain biking." "After exhausting all procrastination options for 48 hours, spend the last hour Post-exam he rewards himself with ... hopelessly skimming. Convince yourself that not studying is your noble way of "Marathons of Gran Turismo and reading evening the playing field, and that exams a good book." weren't meant to be studied for. Remember, it's about what you know not Fraser King has a unique studying approach: what you can remember." From Counselling Services: Stressed? Bryan suggests ... Study tip: "Don't study, studying is for suckers and old people." Space out your learning over time to + Strengthen your knowledge base or work with content on a regular basis. For clarify your understanding of "key con "Boney M's Christmas Album, a gallon A pre-exam stress reliever: "Bleed your self with leeches for 15 minutes." example, a 15 minute review of each cepts/themes" by utilizing the professor's of eggnog, and three candy canes are course per day, one hour review of each office hours or seeking assistance through sure-fire. Also, a full-blown elf costume A post-exam reward: "Lick the back of a poisonous and tropical toad." course per week, three-five hours of the designated TA for the course. is not only acceptable, it's downright major review per course at the middle or hilarious." Upcoming Carly Beath's advice is better than end of the term. * Important distractions will often Managing interrupt your study concentration. Don't Stefan Sereda's wisdom: "ok!" December2, Read with comprehension and pretend that you can ignore them entirely. 5:30p.m.- While studying: "Tum off MSN. Don't understand what is relevant to your If they can wait, make a "date" to deal Study tip: Manage your time well and course of study; don't simply try to mem more fully with them at a good time later. don't procrastinate. bother setting your status to Busy, it does n't work- just tum it off completely" orize everything. Pre-exam: Get lots of sleep the night Distribute your preparation for sev before your exam. Stress-relief "Take lots of naps. Sleeping means you have fewer opportunities to Think critically in terms of question eral exams into rotating "chunks." Don't Post-exam: Bum a life-size bamboo effi content and understand its limitations or simply overdose on each subject in tum. gy of your professor think about how stressed out you are." Post-exam party tip: "Make sure you're exceptions. Caitlin Howlett, on using "mind not OK by the end of the night. There maps:" shouldn't be a hint of sobriety in sight. You've earned it." Clear "Take your main idea or topic and write it Order in the middle of the page in large bold Wholesome advice from April STRUCTURE letters. Use lots of colours and shapes to Cunningham Associations draw out extensions of that idea. This is good if you need to remember broader Pre-exam: "Make a study plan, and concepts. Including some small details is reward yourself for meeting your goals helpful too!" with candy, TV breaks or naps." Fun Stress-relief "Go for a long, brisk walk." Jennifer Asselin is a visual learner.•• Post-exam: "Get together with all your friends and pour a tall glass of rum & STYLE "I like to write out highlighted textbook eggnog. Go caroling!" stuff, it allows me to grasp the material a lot better." Five fabulous tips from Brandon Currie Before an exam, Jenn says ... "Naps are always good!" l.Don't work at Student Publications 2.Don't log onto MSN, tum off cell Thinner 2 Post exam? phonellandline 3.Preferably work on a computer not con LINES "Not even really partying but just doing nected to the internet absolutely nothing ("vegging out" so to 4. Isolate yourself: If there are people speak). Alright, maybe a drink or two." around, you will aimlessly distract your self with them 5. Don't expect to study the day after Colin Duffett's study regimen: your birthday Studying tip: "I study with one of my Michelle Pinchev motivates with favourite movies on in the background or Prada ... with music." Pre-exam stress-relief: "Stiff drink, "When I get stressed out and need moti preferably rye." vation to study, I go downtown Toronto, Post-exam celebration: "Something com Bloor St. and go window-shopping. Looking at over-priced designer shoes pletely non school related ... video games MICHELLE PINCHEV usually." and handbags is really inspiring; it Features Editor reminds me of how broke I am and drives me to study hard so I can get my degree, Mos~ people do~'t realize that_believing in oneself is a proven way to succeed. Psychologists have a get a real job, and go shopping!" fancier term for It --self fulfilling prophecy, but really, it's as simple as mind over matter. In a classic study, psychologists had teachers administer an intelligence test to a class of young chil dren. After, they told the teachers that a selection of the students were "bloomers," meaning they were ~marter than the rest and needed special treatment. The researchers were lying! The students were JUSt average but accordingly, they received special treatment from the teachers who believed they were "special." Years later, guess which students were most successful. .. It's a fact that peop~e's_expectations of us and the way we are treated affects how we perform in school, at work and m life. The same goes for how we view ourselves. There's no magic to it; it's completely logical. If a person or group believes that certain outcomes will result from c~rtain_ behaviour_s, then a combination of things could happen. They could interpret the outcome to smt therr expectatiOns. Also, without realizing it, they could modify their behaviours (consciously or unconsciously) to make it more likely that the anticipated outcome will occur. For example, if you are confident that you will understand the material for an exam, you'll most likely focus better and get more "into it," so to speak. On the other hand, if you're convinced you'll do badly, you may be more focused on that belief than on the material itself. There are countless tests available that will tell you what your learning style is and which method of stu~ying is best for you. A myriad of available resources can give you studying tips or advice on test taking. Still, many students never employ the best strategy, which is believing you will do well. It really works. -r Feature+17 Break up your solitary studying with joint or group studying. Relax and think positive thoughts. Upcoming Workshop: Managing Stress and Preparing for Exams December 2, 2004, Room SBE1210 BRYN BOYCE Opinion Editor 5:30p.m.- 6:30p.m. The Stress-Bag Method - This study tactic The Spiritualist - This student relies on leans heavily on two theorems. First, the divine intervention (bell curves, ice storms) to The Loose Change Library - The fourth belief that loudly bemoaning the academic survive. Little does this student realize that, The Study Skills Program floor is the niche study spot for the socially WLU Counselling Services injustice of two term papers due on a single unlike the urban myth, simply answering active students. Crammed with hundreds of day will actually do a damn bit of good. "why not" on a philosophy paper will get you Student Services Centre, Upper Floor last-minute studiers, the kiosks shake from 884-0710, extension 2338 Unlike Dr. Phil pop-psychology, an actual booted out of school - not a Rhodes the incessant laughter and some funboy's psych paper takes more than "corning to grips Scholarship. No matter how well the stars are beat-box expose. "I got soooo drunk last with your inner self' or "confronting your aligned, how proficient you are in voodoo and night! And now I'm flunking out to go live fears." The second tenet of this method is the black arts or how devoutly you follow with my parents ... " Much like Louies, stu "The Hemingway." A student in this stream is Britney Spears' "Kaballah," you won't turn dents flirt with course content but instead of actually so disillusioned that they believe a that F into an A. getting any, they shallowly grope the syllabus bottle of Jack Daniels and a cigarette in their Blank only to get up and go home unsatisfied. pursed lips is in fact a placebo to real learn ing. The Seat-of-Pants Method- These are the students that 95% of us love to hate. They roll out of bed 15 minutes before the exam, waltz into the AC in a vogue housecoat-boxer ensemble and then write 3.1) A+ exam. Days later this student gets offered a book deal and then tragically gets hit by lightning (for being so damn lucky). There's another stream in this category- the idiot who thinks they're smart. Similar proces~. but instead of actually excelling, this person draws a blank and hands in a letter of apology (complete with dried tears) to the professor instead of an actual essay. USE The Creationist Method - It turns out that a The Tragedy Method- There's one underly term paper on the success of macroeconomic ing principle to this tactic which spins off of stabilization policies in Ghana can be the The Stress-Bag Method. Get stressed, then equivalent of the Bible's Genesis. This stu defer. Repeat. Repeat again. And then petition dent will spend six restless, quasi-efficient the department to give you another chance. days researching, writing and often plagiariz The key to any student trying this route is a) ing, only to take the seventh as the day of rest. persistence and b) acting the part, that is - a The result? For both God and the average for visual learners. suave, innocent and well-meaning student Laurier undergrad, all that comes out of this who, for reasons such as amnesia, repeated process is a confused and incoherent medley deaths in the family and a tragic case of foot of good, evil and just plain shit. This student and mouth disease, just can't write that final just shakes their head at a thesis statement exam. It's dicey and there's no way to tell if that has the grace and beauty of a heavily they buy it but, hey, it beats actually working. works clubbed baby seal while God goes back to the drawing board, pops some Advil and initiates a new plague. mumgtsLs have a of young chil meaning they ! The students who believed which method of or advice on test- 4oti~,1f do well. It really 10I)VI>s Over 35 HOURS of extras 100 new FEATURETTES ~ ■: c »"T '■■—fr""-- v (■ O T T F n T TON BUY IT ON 1E.07-DM LIMITED EDITION COLLECTOR'S SET AVAILABLE FEATURES A COLLECTOR'S DISPLAY CASE WITH NEO BUST AND AN AO-PAGE BOOK ©SQQ'' Warner Bros- Entertainment Inc. Student Life 19 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Christmas volunteers met with wide eyes the - of event to provide a massive amounts of icing and students lend their local a We Laurier time to help public Christmas experience with little gumdrops. constructed post- something extra for those in need. modem reindeer decorations with school children to celebrate the WLU students lined to four I upcoming holidays were up googly-eyes which, as act as 'buddies' who would be explained to J, was an intensely paired off with the children for subjective scrutiny of holiday the day's activities. Resources stereotypes. He was proud of his were thoughtfully donated from inadvertent masterpiece and WLUSU, President Robert showed it off to others. Rosehart and Deans Robert While the kids were bundled Campbell, David McMurray, off to Swiss Chalet for lunch, the Scott Carson and Arthur Szabo. volunteers collectively related the On the fateful morning, vol- escapades of their respective bud- unteers stood at the Aird dies. "This must be what a Underpass, apprehensive, com- teacher's lounge is like," some- plaining about the ungodly hour, body succinctly noted. We were bitching about workloads - typi- tired but exhilarated. cal November student stuff. But When the little people and the as the busses pulled up returned, Santa Claus paid an kids poured out, their exuberance expected visit and handed out washed over us and their nervous assorted toys donated by self- Tires. the anticipation crippled our Treadway "That's not centred agendas. They came with real Santa," J observed. "Santa nothing, with little dresses and doesn't wear black socks." I had suit with him off with jackets, notes begging to buy vague expla- not to to of us ply them with sugar. nations as why one Santa's And suddenly it was all about helpers would try to impersonate them. Santa himself. He is a bright kid Walking through the Torque but still full of innocent wonder. couldn't understand As the children boarded the room, they why we were still in school just, busses, gifts in tow, we all felt a well, because we wanted to be. little bit strange. As Robinson put it: That changed, however, when we "Everyone's affected - the encountered the escalators at the older volunteers get something DAWB. The mechanical stairs out of it and the younger kids too, which ordinarily propelled us so it's a beneficial event to every- one." This I apathetically to our classes were was certainly true - of the moved suddenly the joyride future, saw a girl almost to tears a voyage worthy of attempting by a simple blackboard scribble Chris Clemens again and again... and again. I by her junior buddy: "I like he Mike of the Laurier with one of the children who in Ithe asked buddy, J, why liked Selena," wreathed in hearts. As Deßose, one volunteers, poses participated my recent Not So Christmas that took in the Concourse and was students. much and it the busses Scroogy Party place organized by the escalators so pulled away, driving turned out that he had never seen these children out of our lives and CHRIS CLEMENS Bring Your Illegitimate Children Robinson and Tessa Heffernan such marvelous back whence StaffWriter a contraption to they came, we the weeks To School Day perhaps, or a had spent preceding before. And then he back couldn't but feel that ran help our day recruiting drive to pull in tuition traveLling the wilds of Kitchener down the stairs ride them of and those who happened to be to again essays assignments now dollars from increasingly imma- Waterloo's public school system, For while I held his jacket and tie. seemed trivial and meaningless on one dreary recommend campus ture students. But for us in the asking principals to We of And this is Saturday morning past, the played vigorous games by comparison. why know, these kids were clearly at children who would benefit from of excited (reindeer-rein- we volunteer, to life into parade youngsters selected duck-duck-goose put per- Laurier for the Not So Scroogy this free program. The marching through the Concourse deer-Santa). We caked ginger- spective. Christmas Party. were generally from low-income bread men - and the kids - with might have been misinterpreted. real Event organizers Ginny families, which was the point Ninth annual charity auction raises thousands JOANNE SPANNINGA few a things that I thought that I Staff Writer might like. I figured that I might instead as well donate money of The Laurier University Charity spending it on the same things Kouncil (LUCK) rolled out the anyway." red November carpet on 24, to The evening progressed as the raise for the Canadian money student representatives tempted Cancer Society. Laurier "celebri- the bidders by adding bonuses to ties", well known faces on cam- many of the packages. By raising pus, gathered in their cocktail the value of gift certificates and dresses and suit to show jackets of hot including rounds golf or their support for the cause by tub parties for two, the "celebri- off various auctioning packages ties" enabled auctioneer A1 under the theme "A at the Night drive Lockhart to up the bidding Oscars." for the items. The flashes of Shamrock Lockhart embraced the festive shaped bidding indicated paddles atmosphere, flirting shamelessly the crowd's bid eagerness to on with the girls on stage, requesting with packages presented laughter and fre- massages commenting and lightheartedness. Kyle quently on the attractiveness of Johnston in a 22 particular, year the ladies of Laurier. old from London, was an enthusi- astic participant, bidding on five "The was last of trip the twenty-one packages and I've winning four. minute, never With a $3,600 hole in his been to New York Contributed Photo pocket Johnston left the auction, before." The LUCK Executive were also auctioned off. The theme of "A Night at the Oscars" meant that each of with the of taking him contents the executives were dressed to the nines raised for the Canadian Cancer as they money Society. the Winter Wonderland, Raptor's, - Kyle Johnston the Mac then bidding was "Daddy proceeded to describe his who knew that he could count on Via Rail and Daddy Mac pack- Donation." Dean donation of 24 hour New friends him with Every year a trip to some to join the ages. Lockhart's about jokes Viagra donates McMurray a trip to the York City for four which includ- Dean. not a Laurier student, Though and to dance with the attempts destination and ed of Fifth cause, but the a tour Avenue, The evening was a success Johnston heard of the LUCK student representatives, com- nature of the excursion is left as a Donald Tower with the from Tiffany's, Trump proceeds surpassing event a friend who was bined with the film production surprise until the end of the and the Empire State Building. LUCK's goal of $10,000, raising involved in organizing the made by the executives and the evening. After all of the other Starting at $1,000, the bidding $11,366. Fifty-one percent of the evening. Though having spent lighthearted commentary by had been ended at $2750. will to cancer research, thousands packages bought, money go of dollars within a cou- Bryan Shinn, Master of McMurray took the stage. "This "The trip was last minute, with the remaining amount ple of hours Johnston has going no Ceremonies, all contributed to has been one of I've never been New York toward always my to various cancer support regrets. "I knew that it was a the fun of the event. atmosphere favorite he He before," commented Johnston and nights," began. groups organizations. charity auction and there were a The biggest package open to 20 Student Life Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Food forThought Vocal Cord How did find out that Santa Claus? you Insalata di Pomodorie tional Italian dish, I found the Bocconcini - $9.95 sausage a bit overpowering but A of bocconcini tower and toma- the accompanying roasted pota- toes, this dish resembles edible toes were delicious. " "I think 1 always I don't know, one Jenga. Unlike those blocks of knew." year I just started pine you used to chew on Carre di Agnello - $26 helping my parents though, this eight story cheese An amazing herb-crusted rack of put the presents and produce puzzle melts in your lamb served with garlic mashed under the tree." mouth. If you only get one appe- potatoes. The meat slid off the this tizer, get one. bone and the potatoes were rich and creamy. Calamari all Griglia - $14.95 CHANDRA KATIE Not those who Ossobuco - $21.90 ANDREW BOLTER breaded, appreci- FIRST YEAR FIRST YEAR Food ARCHEOLOGY ARCHEOLOGY Critic ate calamari will love the taste Cooked for nine hours, the shank and chewy texture. Marinated in of veal was so tender it could Like students at Laurier I many oil and spices and then grilled, have been eaten with a spoon. "All the kids in my "I always figured am from the GTA and there are a the of naked The large portion squid accompanying polenta class told me he he wasn't [real]. We lot of that I miss about is things great for sharing. (cornmeal and parmesan) served wasn't real, I went never celebrated Toronto. 1 miss the home and asked Christmas, because subway people- as a base, completed master- miss the street and we're watching, ,1 Pastas piece perfectly. my mommy not preachers and I miss the food. she confirmed the Christian." truth." You can a of literally grab bag Linguine alia Spilamberto- Filetto di Manzo - $24,60 in Chinatown, walk to lychees slB.9o Another entree cooked to perfec- the comer for some streetmeat the While gorgonzola cheese was tion. The Beef Tenderloin was HALLIE NAEEM FIRST YEAR FOURTH YEAR and then across the street for pop too rich for this dish smothered in a red wine sauce COMMUNICATIONS my palate, ARCHEOLOGY STUDIES some fine dining. emanates quality. The bacon and accompanied with potatoes older brother I've been in Waterloo for five "When I was 10,1 "My mixed into the sauce adds some au gratin. made of the I don't know where asked my mom and a copy years now. to needed grit to the soft noodles. she told me." to the find and I know of key storage lychees only When the manager Troy broke in room, we one hot but with the dog vendor, Spinach and Ricotta Ravioli - explained that they make all their and found our pres- arrival of Alessandro's to $16 pasta in-house every morning ents, on Christmas Waterloo, I have Uptown finally Served in a meat sauce, this and that the risotto cooks for morning they were found fine dining. could have been the best I hours 1 had a that all pasta eight feeling apparently from selection of Offering a large have ever had. The velvety my hard work as a food critic "Santa", I figured it Northern Italian food and Italian ravioli left homemade casings was finally going to pay off, but out from there." SEAN SUSIE wines, Alessandro's has set a with the that the that I could FIRST YEAR me feeling snug- there was no way FIRST YEAR PSYCHOLOGY HISTORY new quality standard for restau- in have gle bear was having a party have expected to a meal rants in Waterloo. As one mem- my mouth. like this. ber of it my party remarked, was The difference between like been a Toronto hot-spot had Entrees Alessandro's and other first-class dropped onto King Street. restaurants is that at I firm believer that Horoscopes am a a Polio - $17.90 dish stood Ripieno Alessandro's, every restaurant is as its only good as A chicken breast stuffed with out on its own. Because of this I Happy Birthday Sagittarius (Dec. 1-7) Aries (Mar. 2 I-Apr. 19) I bread. At Alessandro's not call only Italian sausage, spinach, toma- am going to Alessandro's the is the bread great, but it is served toes and asiago cheese. A tradi- best restaurant in Waterloo. Make sure you keep all your work up to Someone may be offering you a gift. with fresh olives and individual date. If you don't have everything up to Whetherit's a material gift or some kind servings of olive oil and balsam- date any plans you had for your birth- of advice it is what you need at this day might have to be put on hold, and point and is useful. Remember what ic vinegar. This proved to be the nobody wants that to happen. Make this person did for you during this time start of one of the best meals I sure you are clear when giving instruc- as you may need to repay the favour tions others. have had and together with three to someday. Luckiest day: December 2 friends feasted we our way ? libra Sept. 23-Oct. 22) the through menu. r | Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20) sMJJII to You are going to have watch your Friends and members will Appetizers and Salads budget carefully over the next while. family always be around to give support if Make sure you are only purchasing the you Don't ask for necessities. You will have more of a needed. hesitate to Insalata della Casa (House advice. Look towards the future and disposable income in the next little an - $8.50 what want to achieve, now is Salad) while, so just wait until then. you excellent time to write goals for your- Usually I don't eat salad unless Luckiest day: December 2 self. there's bacon or tacos in it, but Luckiest day: December 7 23-Nov. Scorpio (Oct. 21) * this mixture of greens, cucum- j|j|| Gemini (May 2!-June 21) bers and tomatoes tasted as if it Someone who cares about you is going was from a back- freshly picked to be out in the next little helping you You are going to be starting something while. Even it's not nature yard garden. Contributed Photo though your new in the next little while. A new cre- to accept help from many people, this need ative outlet is exactly what you One of the Food Critic's new favourite places to dine, Alessandro's know better than person may you you right now. After a rough November a six if out ot five. so listen them. gets five, possible, fudgicles know yourself, to fresh start to December will raise your Luckiest December 6 day: spirits for the holidays. Luckiest day: December 3 22-Dec. Sagittarius (Nov 21) \ 1 He said/Shesaid Canter (June 22-july 22) You are going to be able to celebrate in the next while. If all of outlook life it." something Someone with a unique on Dear He said/She said. of the fact that you take to "deal with proud work is before the fes- your caught up is going to try and convince you to do A be found education so seriously. A lot lot of students can tivities will be able to have your begin you something differently or something much fun when in that more you are out. of the norm. If I need some help. The idiots I live of students don't really care. My studying after hours the library. you'd consider to be out So complete any unfinished business. with this you aren't comfortable person with aren't "scholars" to recommendation to room- I find it to be the most exactly your productive Luckiest day: December 6 do your best to ignore them. it don't care mates is to with them for homework and put nicely. They try talking place getting Luckiest day: December 2 about I'm asked to done. liv- essays or finals coming up. again. sure you've reading Unfortunately Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) have them the noise down" has Leo 22) I, on the other hand, am con- "keep ing on your own some pitfalls (July 23-August is If are for work or a cerned about doing well, and try- but* why not try enforcing a rule and finding good roommates you looking part- time now is the best time to out If are or alone, just I there be job, go you feeling trapped to . ing stay on top of my work. that can no visitors over probably your biggest challenge searching for one. Extra income will be remember that there are always people for education times I've heard horror stories am own of the some over the while, so an addi- out. have to paying my during really busy helpful next around to help you You just about tional would be a good idea. Be admit need someone's advice. and I don't know if that has school year, such as mid-terms, unbearable roommates and job you sure to do something you enjoy. Now is not the time to be proud or something to do with it, as it's my and finals. compared to them, you're getting Luckiest day: December 5 strong, you must resolve past issues. I'm 6 money that's gone if I fail. I agree that you shouldn't off pretty easy. sure you're Luckiest day: December have to to to roommates not the 20-Feb My roommates are constantly go the library get are non-stop Aquarius (Jan. 18) Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) and it's hard to work rent and animals having parties get your done, you pay party you're making work done. Sometimes I'll have the be wouldn't go to right to do your work at them out to or they Make sure you are monitoring your Abundance is It could budget carefully. Don't overspend in coming your way. the but I shouldn't have home. I think have lasted this long at university. library, Personally, you be in the form of emotionalabundance the next while, an unexpected bill or when in are if I'm rent to learn more going to or materialism. Either you to, especially paying you study Eventually they're expense could surprise you. Make sure way, to week. Keep the necessi- about have a very good live in a house. I need to and need some time to you are purchasing only keep my comfy pj's fluffy slippers. quiet study of life on the aspects ties for the next while, until you're more focusing positive in As I If that's the average to stay much as hate to say it, if though. case you and this trend will continue. up my pro- stable financially. could choose to them taste Luckiest December 5 gram, what do you recommend? they don't listen, get through the give a Luckiest day: December 4 day: of their medicine or wait rest of the year the best you can own just Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20) Sincerely, and live somewhere else next out the semester and find new Daniel Roth is itJournalism gradu- Bookworm roommates once the school and is cur- year. year ate of Conestoga College If it feels like the walls are closing in on finishes. You also have the option rently a Communication Studies it is only temporary. Don't hesitate He Said... She Said... you He has in student at Wilfrid Laurier. of replacing yourself the to talk with friends about whatever is DAN ROTH LAURIE VANDENHOFF studied and other topics have advice for Astrology house. Finding a place to live bothering you they may con- that almost, ten years. you that you wouldn't have even of genrefor from January to is usually April sidered. Don't dwell on the past. First of all I think should be this advice would be not Luckiest December 7 you In case, my a problem. day: Student Life* 21 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly The Cord's twelve days of stocking stuffers Get ready to celebrate the holiday's Chrismukkah style as the Editorial Board picks their favourite stocking stuffers for the season "Gifts that bring back good memories, or that are related inside the "Water resistant cards in the to jokes are most fun, espe- playing (found in the rain cially if you're a sentimental bastard like me. Bookstore). Perfect for camping or fort." One in-joke present I can remember getting was playing in a snow a bottle of - who's with whiskey going to argue that?" - April Cunningham, News Editor "The entire Froot Loops - Carly Beath, Entertainment Editor January 1994 collection of Power Ranger figurines IN THEIR ORIGINAL WRAP- "For those who drink, mini liquor bottles, like PING. Cereal box have "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King: toys interested and the '94 or different. For girls, sam- long me Extended Edition DVD. That's what I hope to bailey's something like mini hair collection is one of the most in least." plers perfumes, lotions, products get my stocking at after, elusive collec- or lip gloss." sought yet tions in existence. From their - Brandon Currie, Production Manager immobile joints to the mis- - Michelle Pinchev, Features Editor matched colourings, these little the puppies are cats ass." " "I'm have to with World Peace. You werewolves going to go A silver bullet, because may not - Bryn Boyce, Opinion Editor can't attach a to it, so don't but if loved will really price tag you exist, they do, your one surely have to about limits. It's also a the silver to bust in their worry gift very appreciate cap they get practical gift, its the gift that keeps on giving all werewolf assailant's ass. If, on the other hand, and whose life won't benefit from it? then loved year long, lycanthropes are fictional, your one if ask for World then Best of all, you Peace, peo- can wear it on a necklace and refer to it as ple will think that a great and buy 'bling.'" your person, you even more gifts." - Stefan Sereda, Arts Editor - Kris Cote, International Editor "A Clementine stuffed the bottom of the at very "A of booze. It's $10-$ 15 and and the mickey only stocking. It's a Howlett tradition, gives everybody likes booze." illusion of volume. Really though, a spatula. "Hey dinosaur, while you're should have a Everyone high quality spatula." lugging around a "CD booklet", - Colin Duffett, Editor Special Projects I'm packing more tunes than the in iPOD. - Caitlin Howlett, Editor-in-Chief funny pages my Granted, I'll only listen to about 50 and the others songs are just there to make look "My suggestion: Condoms. Everyone loves con- me trendy, "The lifesaver story book. Who doesn't love either for the intended sexual for but I hate music. I hate doms, use or in the Asselin buying candy? A staple household, you $600 makeshift freezing December water balloons, it so much I'll spend to can be sure to get one of these in your stocking condoms the for hear the free shit." are perfect gift anyone. If every year. you really want to get extravagant won't feel too weird when Hopefully you you add the chocolate bar book. - Shinn, Editor you can new story Bryan Sports give these to mom and dad." Another good choice." - Fraser News Editor King, - Jennifer Asselin, Student Life Editor I One of the Readership WJAJ J DON!!! I Are you looking to gain valuable leadership experience during your academic career? I Want to assist first year students in their transition into university and residence life? I Mark these important dates in your calendar for second semester! I Information Sessions Ist Round Inteview I 2005 - T.B.A. Wednesday January 19, 2005 Saturday; February 12, Location: I Location: T.B.A. Sunday; February 13, 2005 - Location: T.B.A. I Tuesday January 25, 2005 I Location: T.B.A. 2nd Round Interviews I The week of February 28 to March 6, 2005 I Applications Available Final Offers I Monday January 17, 2005 - Residential Services 22Entertainment December - Wednesday 1, 2004 The Cord Weekly 2004: The year that was The Cord's editorial staff them this arbitrarily picks what entertained year BRANDON CURRIE COLIN DUFFET FRASER KING APRIL CUNNINGHAM STEFAN SEREDA Editor Production Manager Special Projects Editor News Editor News Editor Arts Prince - Album: Peace Love Death Metal Album: Reise, Reise by Rammstein Album: Never Good Enough For Album of the Year: Horse of a Album: Musicology by I've Colour and Rich -1 been 11 for Prince by Eagles of DeathMetal - Neither the - This album will make the windows You by Killwhitneydead Different by Big waiting years to put and love this album because it is funny, out a album, and when it arrived, Eagles nor death metal, this Josh in your house shake. Hard, fast, http://www.killwhitneydead.com/ good rock with it arrived with funk and Maceo Homme debut album is full of I listen it -There is as as an album and mixes coun- Parker. side-project's energy. can to every- nothing good energetic, of adventure and it doesn't that features of Michael an addictive blend a rollicking garage-band day get old. a sample try to create Movie: Garden State - Funny, through the drug-addled depths of his Douglas screaming about how he tunes. and for die. provocative maybe insightful a musical genius, leaving fans with an Movie: ThePunisher -1 know there wants people to Garden State had audi- that of Movie of the Year: Garden State generation. acute case of musical blue balls for the are movies are more deserving ences in tears and NataliePortman in a - - romantic and new Queens of the Stone Age album such a title but when it boils down to Movie: Alien Vs. Predator I will It was very just great bikini. with I don't a for a new filmaker. early next year. what movie I want to desperately see be honest everyone, sec again...it's The Punisher. lot of movies in the cinema, so, ugh. Concert: Prince's Musicology Tour Best Concert: will be on Dec 5 Movie: Anchorman - Will Farrell's the ACC - A sex at cleaned-up romp renditionof TV Journalism is The concert: The Pixies when I to see Paul Brandt - Brandt Gonzo a Concert: Tragically Hip, Best go through his hits and some of the best - International about Canadian funnier, if less politically aware, November 26 @ the ACC The entire (November 25th, Centre, sings songs country musicians I've ever seen live made this home for - I think this is the which hit Hunter S. Thompson than played by concert was an 18, 000 person sing Mississauga) only roots, really me. possibly the best concert I've attended, I have in about three either Johnny Depp or Bill Murray. along with Gord Downie. concert been to period. of the Year: "Redneck years. That said, it was still a really Song also the first Gretchen Wilson - Concert: K-Os at the Turret - The Song: "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet good show, and it was Woman", by Song Song: "Roses" by Outkast - The sin- coolest MC that has Revolver. This is that time I had heardthe Pixies aside from of the summer! ever grown up song everything gle of the year's piano intro, followed and 40km from Cobourg is good about a merger of STP one or two stray mp3s. by Andre 3000 belting out "Caroline" Moment of the GNR. Weiland and Slash are a perfect Entertaining hooks you into the funnest bout of Year: in when he's Song: "The Love Song" by K-Os - match for each other. This song proves Song: Uhm, tough one. Let me go Anchorman, soulful misogyny and defecation since Ranked #1 in count' with... "Bastard Shit Bastard" to his - "What's that? You 'play on the com- it. by talking dog the 19705. Zombie - whole wheel of cheese? I'm not puter I use to play music at the office. Apocalypse It just sounds ate a mad. I'm - This line Entertaining moment: "The pretty. even impressed!" Entertainment moment: Prince's makes me crack Entertaining moment: Michael Daily Show" - It isn't necessarily one up. induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Moore booed line he has moment: lam getting by 20,000 angry funny moment or a funny Entertaining Fame, because it gave me the opportu- Republicans at their National said, but his entire show. His "cover- drawing a blank here. Maybe some- "in face" the nity to say your to signif- said? Convetion while he was in attendance. age" of the American Election was thing that Borat/Ali G icant amount of friends I have who comedy at its best. hate Prince. of the No Travesty: none Travesty year: actors from Return of the King being nomi- Travesty: Another year without a Travesty: Ashlee Simpson lip- nated for Oscars. Honourable men- Motley Crue tour. They promised but synching on "Saturday Night Live", tion: Greece winning the Euro Cup. they didn't deliver. because I had hoped she would lead into of planet Earth a golden age peace and artistic development, but now CDs! Movies! Concerts! and More! those hopes have been sadly, sadly dashed. Death to the Pixies? Thankfully not, for now voice reunion date the indie-rock I had ordered my tickets for Deal's impossibly gorgeous the November 24 show Arrow equivalent of the second coming at filling the room. in That's wait- with an of Christ. Hall April. a lot of The band played that made Despite the lack of commer- ing time. It was so much waiting intensity and tightness their I that it believe that this cial success on first go, the time, have to admit, by the very hard to band that band had something even more time the concert finally rolled was a hadn't played created that around excitement had been in 11 Never have I important. They my together years. old sound so quiet-to-loud formula that count- somewhat diffused. That all heard songs that the less alt-rock bands have since rid- changed the minute the band fresh, yet classic at same to den to fame. stepped on .stage. time. The band barely spoke off Much has been made of the The first thing the audience the audience, but never came Pixies' influence on Nirvana - heard was Kim Deal's voice ethe- as standoffish or distant. They himself down- after Kurt Cobain never really, yet powerfully, ringing out barreled through song song, this. I the audience the played once read an article "In Heaven (The Lady in the captivating defying readers to listen to the Radiator Song)". "In heaven, whole time. I'll be honest: I've Contributed Photo and then loved the band's songs, Pixies' "Gouge Away" everything is fine," she sang. always this "Smells Like Teen "You've and but that the Alt-rock legends The Pixies have reunited for a tour year. Nirvana's got your good thing, thought production flat. and hear the mine." their records a little Spirit" not similari- I've got on was the way ties. A staunch Nirvana fan at the How true those words were as This performance was CARLY BEATH an even bigger one. the band meant to be Entertainment Editor time, I couldn't (or wouldn't let segued into the calmer these songs were The hype surrounding the them. It wasn't version of "Wave of Mutilation", heard. reached myself) recognize band of late has epic pro- Frank By all accounts, it's the reunion until later that I realized it followed by arguably their best Charles Thompson aka portions. While the band has years and that shouldn't be. has it screeched Legend wasn't the melody itself the known song, "Where Is My Black sang, always been cited as a major via that the Pixies fax. - madman through split up writer had been talking about, but Mind?" otherwise known as the laughed like a influence on alternative rock, Some claim this isn't true. like this people the whole underlying framework song that made the end of Fight the set. No one can yell their reputation was always big- like Kim But no matter whose exact ver- for the its reverb-drenched No one can sing than their record and ticket song. Club, guitar man. ger It's almost sion of events you believe, you Some might think that the and angelic background vocals Deal, for that matter. sales. All of a sudden a band that the wasn't a inhabits a whole can be sure breakup is in as the col- like her voice is frenzy partly just nostalgia soaring buildings broke up 11 years ago selling The fact that live. Guitarist friendly one. simple overdrive. So is the hype justi- lapsed. If the song was good in new dimension out massive venues within min- incredible a Pixies reunion is taking place at fied? the movie, that was nothing com- Joey Santiago pulled utes of tickets going on sale. Spin small miracle. 22 all is a In a word - yes. pared to hearing it live, with PixiOS, pag® called their first - Please see magazine very The massive success of it is December Entertainment Wednesday 1, 2004 -The Cord Weekly 23 KRIS COTE JENN ASSELIN MICHELLE PINCHEV CARLY BEATH CAITLIN HOWLETT International Editor Student Life Editor Feature Editor Entertainment Editor Editor-in-Chief Sounds Albums: Album: Siren of the Album: College Dropout by Album: The Diary of Alicia Keys Album: Live Like You Were Dying by Kiss and Tell Sahara - - the title track Culture Rise West - So Tim McGraw are Counter by Against Kanye many singles came by Hotnights and The album of the words the off this CD that it amazes me. I think Movie: Napoleon Dynamite most fun year to live by, but album itself album Fire Stars - isn't however it's the Movie: City of God it's an that defines 2004. Garden State...and Motorcycle Set Yourself on by Pop my favourite, Diaries (so hard to choose!) perfection only album I've listened to in its Funeral - Movie: Man on Fire - I'll start by The Arcade Fire this Concert: none by entirety year. that I few Concert: Furtado is and breath-taking saying have seen very Nelly suprising- Original movies that came out this so this ly a on Unlikely Emergency by Serena Movie: Shrek 2 - it's the only movie Best Song: "Punk Rock Ruined our year power-house stage - melodies and I've forward for the is from what I've seen. Ryder Gorgeous a ever looked to Lives" by Closet Monster and "These my pick voice Intense. Drama. Denzel. What more by K-Os spectacular DVD release (I it the first Colours Don't Run" by Protest the Song:"Crabbuckit" bought day Uh Huh - PJ - do need? Her by Harvey Simply it was released) it's a reliable fol- Hero you moment: she's a of rock low the and the Entertaining Napoleon put, goddess up to original high- Concert: Usher feat. Kanye West and getting smacked in the face by a piece light is undoubtedly Antonio Entertaining moment: none Movie: Shaun the Dead - - his dance the end of the John Legend Excited to go and see of meat and at of Banderas as the voice of Puss in hilarious Boots. Ole! Usher perform, I was pleasantly sur- movie. Surprisingly Travesty: George Bush's re-election prised by the addition of John Legend Concerts: to Kanye West's opening pieces. The Travesty: Eminem's latest album. I saw a damn lot of good Concert: John Mayer at the Molson - discover of if I had never heard of him concerts this The Pixies, PJ - the best concert allowed me to one Maybe year Amphitheater way to enjoy liked the favourite artists, not to men- before I would have it, but Harvey (she owns stage), Tegan a concert is to without my new go knowing - but Primus wins hon- he's of much and Sara - tion, that Usher can move. knowing capablc so top the album I spent the next three for their more, it's a picce of crap and an insult ours amazing musicianship, months listening to Heavier Things. antics and Song: "Ordinary People" by John to his fanbase. catchy tunes, onstage gen- The company was also a highlight eral BRYAN SHINN Legend - Man this guy can sing. rockingness. and even the $12.50 pints. Editor lot of have Sports Although a people yet to Yeah Yeah Yeahs - discover who this is, wait Song: "Maps" by in Love" - guy just Song: "Accidentally per- Albums: favourite of the until December 28th when his album Not a just song year, formed by a long-time favourite, the 5 - West College Dropout by Kanye It's be hot. but one of all-time favourite comes out. gonna my songs. Counting Crows, this track is featured Funeral 4 - by The Arcade Fire With little instrumentation and very on the Shrek 2 soundtrack, and does- Antics 3 - by Interpol moment: Justin it's sim- Entertaining plaintive, high-pitched guitar, n't everyone iust fall in love acciden- BRYN BOYCE 2 - Rebellion by K-Os Joyful Timberlake/Janet Jackson fiasco - I plicity at its bittersweet best. Opinion Editor tally? Fire 1 - Set on Stars Yourself by allowed for lot of it was released in 2003, say this because it a Technically Entertaining moment: The collabo- Blender called it of the best the of male/female but one discourse Tim - on topic Album: White Light Rock and ration of McGraw and Nelly Concert: Cuff The Duke/Jim Bryson and such. it of 2004, and if Blender can do subjectification Although Roll Review by Matthew Good songs who knew tights jeans wouldpair @ The Starlight was discussed to death, the initial con- it, so can I. themselves up with baggy ones. versations were at least interesting and Movie: Shaun of the Dead Movie: Sunshine Eternal of a beneficial. moment: Entertaining - if Meeting Travesty: Ashlee Simpson as Mind Spotless hands down. The man is Billy Corgan, Jessica wasn't on our Concert: K-OS taxing enough of the Sleep Over Travesty year: musical idol, not mention smok- my to guilty entertainmentconscious, her "2nd Gun" by Volcano, I'm - I'm a huge fan of hot. Best of the Song: Although "girly, ing day year. ridiculous Furtado's parents/managers/money this Song: Nelly Still Excited!! teeny-bopper" movies, genre was swindlers had to and produce this "Powerless" (Yo go taken too far this I can guys, year. honestly Travesty: The fact that I didn't to get ghastly brunette replica of Jessica. shut up.) moment: Ashlee that I haven't seen this movie, Entertaining say see The Arcade Fire, after driving to debacle the it lip-synching on however, from previews and ads, Simpson's Kingston and waiting in line for three moment: Martha SNL seems as this was the Entertaining though pinnacle hours, because Queen's University Stewart's of the Lindsay Lohen/Hillary Duff- imprisonment doesn't understand the concept of tick- of the Bush's movie selection. Travesty year: re- esque et-selling. Eminem's "Mosh" election Travesty: learns the Hip Hop: a white dude ropes Sean from his Sean's absence. time Mike Brown Muchmusic's favourite Band-Aid artist, Paul, being controversial simply have sat I for the sake of controver- laden "gangsta") never playlist, and grew exceedingly Unfortunately, monetary con- being with 'tol- straints have forced back sial — has well me. tolerant of hip hop. Actually, me taken on a meaningful the word. to K-town Thus, when I moved into erant' is not I, Mike home this year as a topic with his recent single, Staff Writer Willison Hall last September, I Brown, previously one of commuter student, but Sean's "Mosh," albeit attacking Mr. little the Kitchener's staunch music has left indelible mark. W. was a concerned to note most an Easy Target, George Bush. As a middle-class, white bread, of all actu- I him and other Willison I can't but 2Pac poster on my roommate's denouncers things rap, owe help take interest sixth Canadian, I'm token which did little started like it. for love of the Talib Kweli generation wall, a to ally to mates building on my when likes of not the that the fine adminis- artists like Linkin the criticism exactly prototypical target assure me rap-influenced start spouting very of culture. In hip hop fact, at a trative folks at Laurier had found Park and Rage Against the I've always leveled against hip I, one of Kitchener's of recently, utterance a When and of culture: "The label party my me a perfect match. my Machine disposing my hop want a most staunch friend's to utilize an illic- bias request roommate, Sean, dropped some against hip hop. song about a bubbly life/ I have it substance was termed, "the other denouncers of all While I still dislike trouble "sick rhymes" — as the hip the trivial tryin' to write some shit/ of whitest possible asking aficionados I I have actu- to in the club when way hop eloquently things rap, actually rap commonly hear, bang tonight/ for a bong." termed them — during the O- started to like it. ally started buying hip hop CDs, people suffer tonight." Kweli and Alternative rock has forever week talent I that would show, again won- a move have been fellow prolific rappers new to the been comfortable niche. my dered how well suited we were to inconceivable a mere 18 months mainstream, like K-Os and Mos Truth be told, I've much I'd often arrive but that is made pretty room together. By April, ago, possible by Def, are moving beyond superfi- abhorrent. always found hip hop Sean and I both home to room- of con- and Luckily, are find Sean, my the growing popularity cial bullshit actually saying The trivial lyrics that often find tolerant and respectful people, mate, blasting my Hoobastank or scious rappers, which, to me, is a something worthwhile. their into mainstream culture Chili breath of fresh air. way and we became very close room- Peppers and, conversely, Even if the trend towards the as "It's hot in (such here, After short he the sounds of Outkast and Nas Even Eminem — getting' mates. a time, mer- an amazing - Please so take off all clothes" see Hip hop, page 22 your by cifully removed my most hated emanated from our room despite lyricist who too often wastes his Wilf's Entertainment December ■ 24 Wednesday 1, 2004 The Cord Weekly Ear Metroid Prime 2 CANDY Echoes: I am Samus its though release is long over- well as their personal relation- person viewing system can due, fans will be blown by ships in and out of the recording away become bit a overwhelming and the depth of content. Combining studio. when frustrating you know some acoustic feel unreleased demos, num- Regardless of how you is alien-bug attacking you but you bers and rehearsal tracks, With about this band, it is undisputable can't see it. The Lights Out is the ultimate that their impact was nothing addition to fan's col- short of It's unfortunate any grunge pivotal. Controls: Echoes uses almost all lection. Consisting of three CDs that popular culture has smeared of the buttons, except the C-stick and a DVD of rare videos, the Kurt Cobain's name and morphed in regular game play. The most box set allows the rabid fan to him into a kind of rock and roll frustrating thing is the accidental the creative of Nirvana has peer into genius martyr. ultimately of the missile firing when you Present Nirvana. on the CD is a become what they despised: pop- mean to go into Morph Ball. The horribly recorded demo of the ular and a main staple of popular Charge Beam can be somewhat this song "Smells Like Teen Spirit". culture. In many ways box hard to fire when there are many Even though the audio quality is set re-affirms that the essence of creatures attacking, but is the the less then pleasurable, it is quite Nirvana was the music, not most powerful original weapon. hear the band powerful to drugs and rumors surrounding Later light and dark beams are rehearse a song that would go on Cobain's suicide. When talking added, which will come in useful. to have a distinct impact on the about Nirvana, it is hard not to The band Nirvana needs music scene. Of its 81 tracks, 68 sound preachy and overdramatic Game Play: The enemies are few absolutely no introduction. of them have never seen the light about their legacy. Even so, this but at the beginning, a nuisance Single-handedly capturing the of day. Littered amongst the track band's importance and impact nonetheless. The wasps keep essence of grunge and the Seattle and list are acoustic recordings of should never be forgotten coming at you, and it's hard to scene, Nirvana is by far one of such Nirvana hits as "In Bloom" underestimated. This box set find all of the nests to the musical acts of the destroy pinnacle and "Heart Shaped Box". affirms what is already known - them. Echoes can move slowly, nineties era. After a slew of legal in Hearing the stripped-down ver- Nirvana was one a million. between the constant scanning battles over its release, Nirvana's With The Out is a sion of these songs allows any Lights and searching for paths. This is career spanning box set, With music fan who music enthusiast to truly under- must-have for any not rush The a game you can through; Lights Out, has finally the nineties. With stand the amazing talent behind grew up during you need patience (or so says a arrived. Although the legal situa- JILLIAN PANCOTT Kurt Cobain's songwriting and flawless content and a sleek lay- there is of is Editor friend). Luckily a map tion surrounding the release a Copy painfully honest and morbid out, this collection is perfect for the area can find which is topic of debate, it will not be the you lyrics. music and Nirvana fans alike. because it Wow. Metroid Prime is back for very useful, gets con- focus of this article. After all that this The DVD component of With this release, one can only to where have and Gamecube and is it ever immer- fusing as you has been said and done, the the media and set boasts rare live performances hope that industry sive. I sat down one to start haven't been. essence of Nirvana is their music, night and studio footage of the band will lay the band to rest and let playing it, but I should have wait- not the image and rumors that recording in numerous studios. the music speak for itself. With led their demise. ed until the break. over two eventually to Nirvana's -Dave Ricci The DVD represents The first person hours logged, I only completed Simply put, this box set does high octane live performances as viewing can three This game could system the band a great justice. Even percent? for ruin me exams. Samus Aran, be frustrating when the main is and character, back, you know some this time on a new planet, Aether, The PMes rise Hip hop alien-bug is again where to the she attempts help attacking you but Luminoth fight off the evil Ing, - From Pixies, 20 I've never yelled out a lyric as can't see it. page the dark counterpart of the same you "I chien andalu- illumination strange as am un planet split by some rift in space. sounds from his guitar as drum- sia!" with such abandon. But the All the while anomalies are float- mer David heavy Lovering's - From 21 absolute was Hip Hop, page pinnacle - ing around, respawning the dead drum beats held the whole thing old "Gigantic". Over 40 I haven't years not to mention the Dark Samus Overall: made it fully together. acknowledgement of insightful, now, Deal still has a youthfulness doesn't character that runs around... it through the game (not even Songs like "Ed is Dead", political lyricists pan out, in her voice that worked perfectly it be bit I know the gets kind of confusing. The good close), so may a prema- "Bone Machine", "Monkey Gone at least of genre's with the upbeat playfulness of the but this is news is, by scanning the dead ture to say, game shap- to Heaven", and "Here Comes potential, imbued in lesser-known song. read their and to be I will look for- artists like Jurassic 5 and bodies you can logs ing up great. Your Man" read like a real-life The band sweetly said good- it what has ward to more time on Immortal While I still figure out happened. spending textbook on alt-rock perfection, Technique. night, to each other and to the also after exams. Echoes has and benefited from Deal's back- know nothing about music, I can my audience and then back for came feature for to and I Graphics: The graphics are a multiplayer up ground vocals which often certainly understand lyrics On the a two song encore. last is I'm with detail and some four players, which okay. snaked their in and around honestly believe hip hop has the good, way beat of the last song Thompson the alien not fond of it because I'm not the creepy elements on Thompson's leads. "Nimrod's potential to be most poetic belted out "Thank you very shooters, but music when done planet. The items growing off the good at first-person Son" rocked harder than anything form of right. much!" and were they gone. like be deceiv- it's for more than one I'll never know wall, cocoons, can entertaining I've ever heard, and when probably With Nirvana with ending in the The are limited, much about music what I ing darker areas when you person. options Thompson yelled out the song's beyond Kurt Cobain's death and The The and there are other better first like and what I don't. I'm mistake them for enemies. trademark "You are the son of a Still, Smashing Pumpkins collapsing there. This the chance feature is the colour code person shooters out atten- grateful that I to greatest motherfucker!" it drew my got under the weight of Billy for the and I for the scan mode. All important game is bought single tion to the of the audi- expand my tastes, challenge diversity both after Corgan's pretension, once items are red don't miss those player mode. Maybe exams those who can relate to old (so ence - from the six-year olds my few albums, the Pixies should relatively wander around are finished treat views to listen to some or you'll forever, you with their to the 20- on hip hop parents, modern rock's are biggest hope. the to well deserved break of the artists I've alluded to with- trust me) and less important yourself a to the mid- something hipsters, If stick around they can long Once Metroid Prime 2: out are blue. something has by buying dle-aged fans from the original being impressed. enough this time, they might just been scanned it turns so Echoes. days. green, be able to make themselves our don't waste your time. The first For me, the highlights came generation's Beatles or Led towards the end of the night. Zeppelin. "Debaser" was positively joyful - 7~ f-T Drop the 800k5... | Dec 11 +18 25 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Sports Despite setback, Hawks remain on top In light of back-to-back losses, the women's volleyball team is head into the holidays ahead MARK HOPKINS win the game. Staff Writer The loss dropped Laurier's record to a very respectable 9-2, Laurier women's volley- as they now break for the holi- Theball team simply dominated days prior to resuming the second their early season opponents as half of their season. Despite the commenced their 2004 - they back-to-back losses, the Hawks 2005 with nine consecu- season still sit first in the OUA West tive wins. To further the impress, division. Arch rival Western is ladies only dropped five sets in right behind, just two points these nine games. back. The Golden Hawks had their perfect record challenged last "[The break] will week, as the powerhouse York allow us to and fix Lions invaded the Athletic go what is broken so it Complex on Wednesday night. started Laurier out strong, as they doesn't have to be the first of 25 took set by a score fixed again." -17. Unfortunately, the visitors managed to win the next three - Dave Mclntyre, Head Coach and subsequently dropped the Hawks' record to 9 - 1. While he has been very pleased with the performance of the team thus far, Head Coach Laurier 1 - 3 UofT Dave Mclntyre realizes that adjustments need to be made. not have time The ladies did "We have the a young team, con- to dwell on their first setback, as fidence is fragile," says the University of Toronto provid- Mclntyre, "[the break] will allow ed the Hawks with another tough us to go and fix what is broken so Rowena Garcia in a Saturday matinee opponent it doesn't have to be fixed of again." The ball fell just out reach for the Hawks, who lost their second game of season on Saturday. affair. Emotions were high on Mclntyre is looking at the both sides of the net, as the ladies extended Christmas break as a Ontario. The other team to shift to her teammates to battled back and forth only praise take," continues Walker, "but throughout chance for the team to reinforce, from the that is nation- when about the match. province questioned the the break might be good to refo- reconsider, and work towards ranked is rival Western at national she is receiv- cus." The ladies look The Varsity Blues managed to ally recognition forward to progressing deep into the play- number 10. ing. "It's a feeling," she to their out the first set a count great attempting plow way squeak by offs. "We want to be successful notes, "but it's [to back in to the win column on of 25 - 23. The Golden Hawks Additionally, second-year disappointing in he Ontario," says, stressing Danielle Walker sits the because the other visit the player at lose] today January 12, as they promptly responded by winning to that his goal every year is of the CIS statistical Western Mustangs in London. 25 - top rankings. girls played great." the second by a score of 15. thrive in the OUA league. has her The Hawks She powered way to an Golden are now However, the Toronto attack was Entering last week, the incredible 177 points, which off until the calendar flips to too strong for Laurier to handle women were ranked as the eighth makes Walker the her the highest scoring 2005. does feel that the on this day, as visitors took best team in the CIS. They are GOLDEN HAWK in the country. break will work to the team's both the third and fourth sets to player the highest ranked team in The modest Walker was quick advantage. "[The losses] are hard OPDAT I Week of to November 29 - Toronto ladies for first loss Deemeber 3, 2004 taps LAST WEEK'S RESULTS 11/23/04 W Hockey 1, Western 1 Laurissa Kenworthy notched two goals and three assists, while 7 1/24/04 her line-mate, Fiona Aiston, W Volleyball 1, York 3 added two and assist. goals an M Volleyball 1, York 3 Veteran winger Lindsay Arbeau rounded out the Laurier scoring 11/26/04 in the 5-3 win. W Basketball 75, Lakehead 66 the other Unfortunately, two M Basketball 64, Lakehead 63 of games the week highlighted a W Volleyball 1, Toronto 3 M Volleyball 1, Toronto 3 "When [opponents] 11/27/04 shut down our big W Basketball 57, Lakehead 53 Basketball Lakehead line, nobody picks up M 68, S'l the slack." W Hockey 5, Brock 3 M Hockey 1, McGill 7 - Rick Osborne, Head Coach 7 1/28/04 W Hockey 0, Toronto 1 growing concern for the team. M Hockey 3, Ottawa 2 "When [opponents] shut down our big line, nobody picks up the UPCOMING HOME GAMES slack," said Osborne matter-of- 12/02/04 factly. It seems the competition mike brown Toronto goaltender Lisa at 6:03 in the third came when is this and in W vs. Western Staff Writer realizing keying on Hockey in 1-0 Toronto forward Robertson a tough loss. Laura Foster Laurier's top line. Excluding the 7:30 PM, Rec Complex wide for The which showcased found a open the game, cage Brock One game, Laurier has man- goal was all it took to end an eventual the OUA divisional leaders, was game-winner. two in their last 12/04/04 undefeated streak OUA aged just goals against The loss deflated a team that three W Basketball Waterloo opponents that dated back to games. vs. had put forth an impressive the 7 of last the Despite concerns, though, 6:00 PM, Athletic Complex February season, as effort one earlier in St. Laurier 0 - U of T1 just night the team remains and University of Toronto shut out upbeat, Catherines. "We a played very M Basketball vs. Ottawa. boasts 7 - 1 - 2 the Laurier a record to sit women's hockey road commented good game," 8:00 PM, Athletic the OUA. "This loss doesn't Complex team on atop Sunday night in battle to the Coach Rick Osborne about the a hard fought very said Osborne Waterloo. concern me," after After a busy week that over Brock. "We end. The first two periods mus- victory were the After Laurier dom- 7 2/05/04 saw the game. all, battle 1 — women to a 1 ahead of them tered no offence, though, as both basically a step all tie inated the game, out-shooting against Western and off M Basketball vs. Carleton pull a Robertson and Laurier's Cindy game long." Laurier's top line Toronto 40-23, but were mere- very strong 5-3 win at Brock, 7:00 PM, Athletic Eadie played well between the was able to put the team on its Complex the Hawks were unable solve to the as pipes. The lone goal of game shoulders, leading scorer - Please see Toronto, page 27 w w vv.lau rierathl etics .com 26 Sports December - Wednesday 1, 2004 The Cord Weekly Rough times continue Rouge et Or win Vanier DAN HOCKING From here on the teamcould- Toronto and another out, against against York, Staff Writer n't do anything right. Service the OUA leader, last Wednesday, errors abounded in the next two the team cannot avoid commit- many, December means and even with makes sets, some good ting serving errors, which Forthe end of classes and the defence in the final set, the it next to impossible to win. of and much beginning finals, a Hawks the dropped next two sets Sadly, this is nothing new for needed vacation is in This sight. - 25 20 and 25 - 15, seeming to the men's team. The team has year, December means one thing of run out gas at the end. only won three times since the to the men's team: volleyball a old The same problems seem 2001 - 2002 season, when they break from losing. to plague the team from week to went 4 - 14. Since then, the team Last Friday, the men's team week. haven't match is 3 - 43 in They won a regular season play. lost to the U of T Varsity Blues 3 since beating Waterloo three sets Even at 1 - 9, the team does have - their record the 1, dropping on week the for them: to one in the first of sea- one positive going they to 1 - 9. Laurier trailed season aren't last in son. Since then, they've dropped the league. That early in the first set 11 - 15, but nine straight and have only won dubious honour goes to cross- and fought valiantly ended up more than one set twice during town rivals, Waterloo, who set - The winning the 25 22. sec- this streak. have this While they remain winless year. ond set remained close until looked a little better over the last The season is now more than Toronto managed to get back to of couple games, coming out strong half over and there is no sign back points to win two 6 - 24. improvement in the near future for the team. If the Hawks can't avoid the simple mistakes like base- serving errors, a trip to the ment is almost certainly forth- coming. The team recognizes that this is a problem; every week, team manager Heather Stewart mentions the fact that serving Rob Terpstra errors led to the team's demise. Laval's Huerta-Flores breaks a tackle last weekend in Hamilton. The If the team doesn't focus and Rouge et Or beat Saskatchewan 6 - 1 in the lowest scoring Vanier match, be play a complete they'll Cup ever. wishing for April's finals to come ROB TERPSTRA ble collapsing defence. distract themselves from that to Sports Editor Brock Press "The defence played great losing feeling. The season defi- today," Huerta-Flores said. doesn't as nitely get any easier, When most valuable player your "Offence wins games, but the the team now plays same out to turns be your backup defence wins championships. teams from the first half of eight placekicker, chances are you've The defence played great foot- the season. One can only hope won the with a 65 yard game ball all year long." around, but things can turn given field Not so much. www.laurierathletics.com goal. of six In a span possessions the history, it looks pretty doubt- On Saturday afternoon, between There's been little to celebrate for the men's and their both teams, a laughable very volleyball ful. Matthew Leblanc was the Laval fans this season. The Hawks are now 1 - 9 on the season. five turnovers were committed, et Or's hero, the Rouge nailing begging those in attendance field in game-winning goal ... had whether they come to a third that the quarter. Up to in at rugby game or were, fact, the Saskatchewan point, university football's grandest Huskies, the winners of the Wingspan stage. last weekend, led 1 - Hardy Cup Both teams had chances to for of the 0 most the game. score majors. Just before MEN TAKE ONE tossed towards the with a weekend sweep at the half, Bilan ALL-CANADIAN The men's back of the Lakehead Laval 7 - U of S1 end but an hockey team got expense zone, interception and the drive to their winning ways on the Thunderwolves. Two-guard was the result, was halted. Bilan's five Sunday, but not before getting Meaghan McGrath led the way picks nearly Behind Leblanc's field goal, total all — trounced one night earlier. Facing with 22 and 14 points respective- equalled his season two and Hawks and his team's singles a for the a solid McGill on Saturday ly, as the narrowly edge uncharacteristic man late safety, Laval repeated as the the Hawks the T-Wolves 75 - - the CIS in touchdowns evening, were 66 and 57 53. who led Vanier Cup's Canadian result - - and The roughed up to the tune of 7 1. The Hawks improve to 5 1 on passing yards. foot- Interuniversity Sport (CIS) seemed Nick Gibson potted the only goal the season, and will play Guelph destined to happen, as The team the second the ball champions. was for visitors at 6:49 in on Wednesday at 6:oopm at able to defeat the Huskies 7 - 1 period. On the following after- Athletic Complex. "At the end we have in a frigid affair at Hamilton's noon, the Hawks looked much BASKETBALL NORTH www.laurierathletics.com Ivor Wynne Stadium in front of what we want, sharper against the ninth ranked The men's trip to Thunder Bay lan defensive back Logan, a crowd of more than 14,000. Vanier Ottawa Gee Gee's. With the score another Cup." was slightly less successful, as Laval came into the game knotted at two with under a the - Jeronimo Huerta-Flores team, now 2-3, split the Last five Laurier football week, riding high, as they knocked off minute left, Richard Colwill weekend series. On Friday night, players were honoured nationally the number one team in the found the back of the Gee's net the Hawks rode the strong play of for their performances on the nation, the Montreal Carabins in for the lead and the win. Nick Laval came into the game veteran Jermaine guard Pendley, gridiron. Defensive back lan the Dunsmore Cup, and then the Vergeer and Nick Vukovic each ranked first in the nation in who scored six late in the points who collected four inter- undefeated Wilfrid Laurier Logan, defensive scored for the Hawks, who find every major category. to a 64 - 63 One game, victory. ceptions, 20 solo tackles and 10 Golden Hawks last weekend in themselves in second place, three 'This is a completely different the Hawks were out- night later, assisted tackles this was the Uteck Bowl. back of the season Huerta-Flores said. "Last points York, at con- year," worked and outshot by the T- the lone Hawk as a non-factor recognized A during had offence and clusion of the fall term. year we a great Wolves cruised 81 who to an -68 All-Canadian, while line- first Saturday's Vanier Cup was last we a good defence. This year win. Lakehead's second year backer Jesse Alexander and valuable THE LADIES ARE ALRIGHT year's most player, defence." had a great 31 guard Kiraan Posey put up defensive back Conor Huerta-Flores. Not to be outdone by hockey or Healey Jeronimo turnovers and Causing seven on 12/17 from the field. added the women's basket- points were to the defensive sec- Huerta-Flores, a graduating volleyball, limiting Bilan's movement for ond On the other side of the ball team added to their great start team. player, was held to only 41 all the most of the game was ball, quarterback Ryan Pyear and on 18 carries yards throughout offence required to put what few both lineman Ryan Jeffrey were the A sea of linebackers game. points they needed on the board. named to the offensive second could be witnessed time every Saturday's Vanier Cup also team. the star back touched touch- running marked the first time no the ball. secured the downs were scored, FIGURE SKATING "I have to admit, they played half game's lowest ever scoring Laurier's figure skating team was tough and it was hard very very and produced the lowest scoring in Kingston on Friday taking part to run Huerta-Flores his- today," final in the game's 40 year in their first meet of the season. said. "Every time I had the ball tory. With strong showings from in hands, there were three my Far from being the most and Lindsey Missy Lloyd in front of me." guys exciting football contest wit- Maddick, who finished second in it on the defensive Doing nessed, the tactical chess game the senior silver similar dance, side, Laval off picked starting brought together the best two and Karl Herbert, who placed Saskatchewan quarterback when all teams in the nation, and second in the men's open, the Steve Bilan an incredible five Laval was was said and done, Hawks found themselves in fifth times. On of those two occa- declared the winner. place at day's end. The Hawks' sions, an intended Huskies during "We progressed a lot next will take competition place receiver could be found said. the year," Huerta-Flores on January 28 and 29 at nowhere in This was in we sight. "At the end we have what Brittany Wright Columbia Ice Fields in Waterloo. due to a lack of execution part want, another Vanier Cup." mood The skaters, seen here, were in a celebrating varsity figure but more so to Laval's incredi- after their fifth place finish in Kingston. 27 Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weekly Sports* Toronto out The hawk squeezes victory - From First Loss, page 25 just have to make sure that we break, the women hope to send a She the loss to come just as prepared." con- message that Toronto ly unable to solve Robertson. that tinued, "It's exciting teams will remain an anomaly. Kenworthy attributed the loss are out to get us. We love the list to "a couple defensive break- level of competition this year." downs," and added of the Toronto At this point, the team hopes net-minder that, "we made her to just put the loss behind them as look good. We kept shooting at WICKED HARD they enter the second half of the her chest." Leave it to Illustrated to all when the "I Sports get ambiguous deciding season. have every confidence Aiston, who has been playing 2004 of the Year. Past winners include Woods and work and 10 Sportsman Tiger we'll go back to start a Top Sports with renewed confidence lately, Michael but this SI and hand- in Jordan, year copped out new streak our next game," the is excited about says team the Ed it to the at Boston Red Sox, which isn't a person all. noted Osborne. With two very level of competition in the Stories of 2004 Instead of recognizing the likes of Lance Armstrong, winnable contests against league. "Teams are going to come Ichiro Suzuki or Vijay Singh, they hand it to an entire Western and Waterloo before the ready to play," said Aiston. "We team and their fans. I understand that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are great cover girls, but the thought of a 10 •US Basketball 350-pound New Englander calling himself the sports- roughed up man of the year while eating clam chowda on the wharf is practically nauseating. CHIROPRACTIC 9. Jennings owns FROM DOLPHIN TO COMMUNE Ricky Williams is a former Heisman trophy winner, and a man the ON CAMPUS Jeopardy New Orleans Saints once traded much of their roster to Now r-vl acquire. he's chillin' in an Australianj ■ Covered bv WLU Health Plan 8. wins commune/campground on seven dollars a day. Vijay big; sub-i Williams, who failed to report to training camp and doesn't WLU HEALTH SERVICES Tiger sequently announced his retirement at the age of 27, has lost his signature dreads, 35-pounds, and 884-0710 Ext. 3146 of He's mal-nourished and 7. any sense reality. stoned, Calgary goes deep slightly out of touch, or more specificly, a university student. to save franchise ROGERS LOOKS FOR FINANCIAL PROTECTION, BUYS DOME later The Skydome was built for a sum of $580 million; 15 it was years 6. Patriots win back- sold for considerably less than the first down payment. Earlier this to-back after Janet's tit week, Rogers Communications, who are majority owners of the Blue made the if three deci- Jays, obvious, years belated, ROME'S shocks Bush sion to purchase the stadium. Rogers paid the I o I American-based Sportso $25 million for the facil- / / ADULT ENTERTAINMENT ity, which is $6 million less than Renaissance 5. Greece wins Euro J. A for the hotel. Translation: ppaid Skydome people ...where it's all about talent! do not want to watch baseball in a cement waste- r\ V*N lit /-k nt n 4. Lance wins sixth land, but are rather comfortable staying at a hotel MONDAY AMATEUR STRIP NIGHT the damn overlooking thing. yellow jacket GREAT, FAVRE AND AWAY Prize $1000 CASH! On Brett Favre in his 200th consecutive Monday night, played game 3. Ron Artest and co. as quarterback for Green Bay Packers. In more appreciative EVERY mental terms, Favre has played the toughest position in sports WEDNESDAY NIGHT go without an absence for 12 straight years. Sure, Cal but Ripkin Jr. played every day for 600 years, his body WET T-SHIRT CONTEST 2. NHL: No Hockey wasn't a toy for hungry defensive lineman every His career includes three MVP awards League game. (thej $875 IN CASH PRIZES most ever by an NFL player), one championship and ring more heart than a Michael Bolton album. LADIES NEVER PAY A COVER 1. Boston Red Sox WHAT IS "MY LIFE IS OVER"? KING STREET NORTH WATERLOO AT NORTHFIELD end curse Old women everywhere had to wait 74 episodes to bid fairwell to Tel: 886-7565 mega-geek Ken Jennings, but whenit happened the world teared Last who million up. night, Jennings, had won $2.5 since his run started in the late 80s, took "Wendy" to Final FedEx instead of H'n'R Block. only to guess You're going places. "that little Jennings, who has legally changed his name to Go Greyhound. guy from Jeopardy," will now be added to long list of game show that don't shit about " contestants people a r * give any- iB? m !§||§|§j||P' '' ■ "' ■iiiiMi^ii ■■■■■■■■P ■hkP STUDENT-FRIENDLY FARES You're in but going places life, right now, you're just going home for a break. With thousands of destinations and low the freedom great everyday fares, Greyhound gives you to go more places more often. 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Said the Beav to Wally [2 17. plural of thesis words] 18. The Great 10. Slang, for kids 19. Snide grin 16. What sinners do 18. Humbug 21. Britcom funnyman, 20. Son of a Bitch Nigel 22. of yellow color 23. Done with mitosis 24 Air 25. C 9H COH 15 25. A village of northern Palestine 29. Ineffective union 26. Bth month of the Jewish cal- 33. an Indian nursemaid endar 34. another 27. To make unwild forcing person to 28 of Cheers submit to sex Perlman, 29. Texas standoff location 36. What call you yourself by 30. Mountains in Eastern Europe 37. What for you split nuclear 31. To end hunger power 32. Once a time 38 -51 35. Emergency Medical Services 39. John makes kung fu 40. Focuses light Last Week's Answers !■ f'w ...Mr j* No Weekly Bad Drawing this week... sorry. 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[poms Hublets, campus, idlPl" nished SBR townhome. 2 stove, The and weekends. fridges, and Thank Business School available, including evenings die hard cordies, Kelly Greg. you hwaslher, washer, dryer, A perfect part-time jobfor students wishing to Mahn, and Bill 181Cloneof Myles for-making www.business.humberc.ort.ca Central air, TV/DVD, wireless internet and a - extra Must have reli- favourite to be. Sarah and Cait ■ earn spending money. my places e ro May-Acig. available at able vehicle and insurance. Cash paid daily. f, !2!Tl' glad to have the trio back. The Howletts - I $ 350 Emall Send to Dominos Pizza - Jake@Benjaminsßealty.com. There is resume love you all very much. not enough Administration 203-678 Belmont Ave. Office, - to thank Christmas space say you. Merry ON W. Kitchener N2M IN6. Fax 571-9332. IJ H Jk M ■ and/or Happy Holidays! High Fives. CH No phone calls please. Finance Thank You Help Wanted I would like to take this opportunity to thank Make Part-time great money. on campus. everyone's hard work for getting the articles Less than 10 hours week. & the per Easy ready every week on Cord, especially Simple. Help Campus Custom Clothing Caitlin, spending numerous of hours at the Back business. For more informa- Company grow paper every single week. I also would like to by I tion call 1-866-220-3861 to or go thank the EICs forspending hours to edit and www.campushoodies.com. get the publications ready and on time. I ~ ' wish you all have a Merry Christmas and a Extend-a-Family happy new year. ' Part-time positions - providing in-home and VP Finance: Arthur Wong community support to individuals with devel- popular iflli opmental/physical challenges in a variety of We made it through the first 15 issues with- programs. Providers will be reliable, ener- out getting cancelled! Oh yeah, wait, we and committed. to $10.40 getic, Up hourly. have media monopoly on this campus for Contact Recruitment 741-0190 ext.3B, eternity. I have to thank the usual suspects: PA's for fast and [email protected]. my new learning returning ones for doing info graphics, editors for doing | a lion's share of production, you really don't know how much you make my job/life easier, Caitlin for her stability and calm amidst mad- Montreal @ New Years that h ®' d p ® ut From $69 Hotel or Hotel and Bus °, c t WRECKORD, Greg Smith for clutch IT, the $169/Quad. Book NOW and SAVE!! Student fol ad adminrairaling Angela for arrang- Travel Specialists! BEST PRICE GUARAN- T V the ads that the bills, for TEED!!! Over 20 in 'ng pay Bn/an guy years experience alk and the most sec- Montreal!! BOOK 11 Friends GO for FREE!!! Mondays improved tion. Bryn for leaving earlier only on two www.Rooms2Party.com Thames Travel all and occaisions semester relishing my (Todd) 1-800-962-8262 relentless criticisms, 'Pril for being my beef guru and the food last night, Fraser for never FREE Win passes to Blade Trinity bSfei • ' ■ w^jm' M W M ■*. t§fi112 . WET T-SHIRT NIGHT! • Sponsored by the STAG SHOP & CANADIAN AUTO ASSOCIATES Get $50frist for entering! $500 weekly prize. Graid Prize |?63SfcNEW ""su^'s'l' In Theatres December 8 *Coivles Welcome Simply complete this week's crossword and bring it to the WLUSP Office. Only limited number of passes available!!! In asso cla r/o with.. /Manor ti The Cord ADULT ENTERTAINMENT ii s. COMPLEX /V II /X r-j iA7T7T", I/*"¥ \7 ■112 mi ■ | ■ ( ■ W "LicßiiEß More Letters to the Editor [email protected] Letters, from 7 organization have shown themselves done contract academic staff." for the work done Editorial Board (damn those page by your support by jack- be to thick-headed, ignorant Personally, I feel that we should have part-timers. booted skills that be problem-solving can Neanderthal's when it comes to issues further seafood chefs!) and gone in our support for part- so, under duress, applied to Will we be of social were any discipline. consciousness. time faculty and librarians and called David Alexander the dots strategically left discredited for the of educa- events such the the offer unconnected. quality During as upon University to more WLUSU Director tion we receive here? Women's Studies Activism The Cord Fair, and, institutional and financial support for Weekly: fueling In terms of visual culture, do we more recently, Buy Nothing Day, DJs these important individuals. Cord full of conspiracy, implausible conspiracy theories since not have one piece of art by fine arts were politely asked if they could A who is 1926. per- part-time professor fascist undertones students deceit, anywhere in the school and haps turn the music down in order that offered the Laurier maximumof three Campbell, aware of this, we students be able suggests might to effectively courses per term (including summer) Greg Smith The Cord is - I don't care should a visual culture. How their to splendid begin explain projects passers-by. will earn around $45 000 a year, what in can this ifhe mentioned The music all the other kids the torque Campbell say was so loud that people before tax. An unlucky prof will end earlier that that our fine arts students two feet from room say. standing away each up teaching fewer courses at $5000 a LetterPolicy: "have Are not convinced? Case in made no from the start." other had to shout to be heard. and teach additional you impact pop may have to volume issue 14. All letters to the editor must be signed arid sub- 112 How does intend on point: 45, Campbell when asked to the courses at universities. The mitted author's However, adjust nearby with the name, student identifica- I tion and a visual culture when he radio DJs International section, page 13: neo- number, telephone number. Letters must developing volume, not refused to debt-load of a student with a only average be received Tuesday by 12pm on disk, or via e- fascist Gianfranco Fini himself has words of appointed malt at with no encourage- comply, but actually turned the music four-year University degree is $25 [email protected] the subject head- of 'Cord letter.' Letters must be typed or easi- Italian Minister. sec- ing ment? Instead he should be louder that academic staff Foreign Opinion support- up even so any communi- 000. Most contract ly legible and may not exceed 350 words. The ' the to edit letter fascist-themed Cora reserves right for brevi- ive and murals and installa- cation between in the tion, page 8: oyster any suggest people have more than four years of ty and clarity. Spelling and grammar will be cor- takes Irish Cord tion that could joint over quaint pub on rected. The reserves the to projects help introduce Concourse was utterly impossible. University education. The instability right reject any letter, in whole or in part. Street. this so called vision of visual culture. I don't of King know whether these DJs employment by four-month con- The Cord reserves the right not to think Coincidence? I think not. publish mate- According to the Dean, no answer are or whether tracts causes some to col- rial that is deemed be libelous they being funny, professors to or in contraven- tion Ethics considerable with the Cord's Code of or journalistic could be to of the are know lect EI in the and off their Presumably pressure given many ques- they really just too stupid to summer put standards. was brought to bear the tions asked by the atten- the difference VOLUME UP upon meeting's between OSAP payments because they are not dees. It is my right, as well as for the and VOLUME DOWN. It is frighten- offered employment by the university. other fine have adults many arts students, to ing to me that supposed at an Our learning experience is greatly and Christmas Cards been notified about these earli- institution of could affected the work Holiday plans higher learning by done by our con- For er. this lack of concern and care to possibly be so juvenile and obtuse. tract academic staff. Part-time faculty for SALE Laurier's fine arts students lam total- This seems to be a case of have taught many of my favourite ly displeased and refuse to, in a sense, extremely misplaced priorities. classes (they teach about 30% of available in 3 different designs and colours - red, green, blue future accommodate my education to What's more important: raising classes at WLU) and if you've been in made the Dean. about women's issues and of these will plans by awareness one classcs, you proba- Visual culture in the dawns arti- human rights or making sure that bly recall visiting offices shared with are the within 10-mile sans—we innovators, creators, everyone a radius of several other part-time profs. More communicators and aestheticians. We the hears music the office campus by Spice space is needed. attract the school Girls? community and I suggest that these DJs grow Part-time faculty and librarians and the public eye to unthinkable things fuck up if Radio Laurier wants to do a lot of work and do not earn a lot so are we to the retain kind of a fan base. of have little why being pushed any money. They job securi- bottom of list of I things to do? ty and little office space. If were a Campbell really needs to reconsider, Brittany Lavery psychology student (which I am), I rationalize and prioritize his plans would guess that these are stressful, because I for will one not stand to see Part-time faculty motion even "challenging", working condi- this program just dissipate from care- tions that have a effect on was weak significant less decisions. students' lives. We can relate; we all know what it's like to be stressed-out The WLUSU Board of Directors Venessa Pica and cash-strapped because of univer- passed a motion last Wednesday call- sity. ing on the Wilfrid Laurier University Show for these indi- Turn that shit your support down, Faculty Association and the WLU Radio viduals by telling part-time profs and Laurier administration to make teaching eval- librarians that you think they are won- uations and class sizes a priority in derful. If are ambitious, I have I that I have been you really to say lately their present negotiations. We passed write a letter to Laurier President Bob disgusted by the behaviour of certain another motion stating that students Rosehart or the WLUFA expressing Radio Laurier DJs. Members of this "support and appreciate the work X-MAS Cards 725-3594 View Student Residencev^^, MAY & SEPTEMBER RENTALS jn or(jer view a unit call Dan @ 888-7093 or Cell # 589-4828 173 King Street North, Corner of King & Ezra Streets e-mail 173Mngstreet@r(HierS.COm Amenities and Facilities Provided Cleaning of Units - Fully controlled entrance, with intercom system in each unit. - Each bedroom provided with door lock set for privacy. - Ample closet and storage space. - Laundry facility. - Bell & Roger's jacks in each bedroom. - Two full bathrooms in each unit - individuals 4 - All units Rent to or groups up to painted and cleaned before the start of each lease. - - Secured bicycle storage area. Parking available - - Minutes to both universities Monthly cleaning service provided (included in rental cost) If STARTING AT $415.00 PER MONTH st st Ist1 and Ist1 ======^======$415.QQ /month/student 12 Months starting May September and up. Window Window Window Window >y\Valk-in Bay Window ® ~ Desk ——i ® i S T ® Oiii| FF-——r—— Q —nQ TT~ < I! IL-JS- 2-I-i-S- 9.2 Ft H«| §■ S- n 111 Chair © » 2, 1 er — — _ c - 1 11-8 i__i BED BED Oil BED BED Ft ■ » [_j Mil T a b le/CJij i_r --i p- I /'IIII ill • I LU ~XJEHH OjvT" O pN \ JO Kitchen | J a C Storage ° a & Storage q '_ | |_ S _ y/ Furnishings Provided Couch, 2 lounge chairs, coffee table and 2 end tables. Kitchen table and 4 chairs. -Blinds supplied for all windows. Bed (No Mattress), desk and chair, closet organizer in bedroom. News Wednesday December 1, 2004 - The Cord Weakiy Weakly WLUSP to move again Cord editorial board behaviour in question AH, JESUS under investigation by the J AC those fucking students," he Foreign Correspondent and the Humane is also screamed and then in Society curled up their fetal Little conducting own investiga- the position singing moved down the stairs They tion. Red Corvette. the Quad and down some across A with petition signed by 95 per- The Cord Weakly, along The more stairs. space was cent of the MacHouse residents the three other publications, has cramped, awkward and allowed was approved by Residence Life no plans to stop producing con- of someone to steal 1000 copies and consequently the lease for the tent, but expects harassment from their newspaper. office space was revoked. the other tenants. One freshly Now, Wilfrid Laurier Residence Life Services refused made Pita Shack pita was placed The Cord Ed Board's inextricable links to the trade have University Student Publications marijuana finally to comment. A formal letter was maliciously by the front door. resulted in their untimely eviction from their Mac House office. is officeless again. Only this time addressed to WLUSP President "Thai's just sick," said Dave it's them students forcing out. knitted mitten" was dropped at tion. The word is Craig Radcliffe outlining the ter- Alexander, editor-in-chief of the investigation Residence residents and has been the also under MacHouse the scene sent to investigation. mination of the lease due to Blowprint Magazine. "I mean, a have had enough. lab for forensic identification. Earlier in the term, extenuating circumstances. poorly made pita is one thing, but anony- "I'm sick and tired of of sharing "I'm that Pita that's Acrylic paint was also found at mous reports Editor-in-Chief disappointed no one a Shack Pita, just plain with them." said David the but has not been space said clear- scene linked Caitlm Howlett along with told us we smelled," a disgusting." Frontman, "They're all hours to other sort of foul play- Editor Bryan Boyle and up ly shaken Radcliffe, i wish Security Services has also any Opinion loud On making typing noises, would have said unorthodox behaviour the same night. Opinion columnist Chris someone some- reported and they're clearly smoking dope Production Manager, Brandon Clemens said to have in their thing, I could have asked Arthur on campus at unruly hours by pos- he to honest, they smell pretty Currie, was found with several session abnormally large bags of Wong, VP of Finance, to pur- certain Cord Weakly Editorial bad." A recent door close [device lighters not belonging to him and marijuana. When chase some Febreeze or Glade Board members. Entertainment questioned close the used to door] has con- some stolen marijuana. Alcohol, about the drugs, all three replied Plug-ins." Editor, Carly Beath, was sighted tributed the smell of to concentrated actually a lot alcohol, seems to in unison, "it was stage WLUSP has no plans of actu- smoking inside the doors to the marijua- from the office have been involved. The investi- na." No have been laid emanating space. the time. entrance of the Fred Nichols charges ally vacating space on CUP Investigations by (Crap continues. because it was in fact mari- In fact, Stefan Sereda, Arts editor, Campus Centre on Friday gation stage found an into whether University Press) has and Investigation or juana being used for legitimate already set-up shop plans November 26. Attempts to appre- unprecedented number of squirrel not the behaviour of WLUSP vol- to live in the basement in protest hend her were unsuccessful, but puiposes. in box carcasses a recycling until forcibly unteers has affected their lease removed. ''I hate what Security is calling a '"poorly labeled "cans."' The matter is agreement is still under investiga- Cord recovered; With 50 dead and 75 injured, papers Afghani-Open hailed as a success squirrels responsible PINCHY ful rodents," suggesting that The JOHN SMITH ''What can I Abdul who had been say," joked Afghanistan, tried to I help you... Terrace's Union Market he Afghani Nations Bureau Chief at the end of the day,"I shot a deprived of golf for the past thir- with replaced a "quick-on-the-go four." Abdul later admitted. Club Mohammad plus ty years. pro, The of the mystery newspapers Wok." KABUL, AFGHANISTAN - Last, Squirrel "Really, I won because I shot the Popal, known to the locals as "the that back in had gone missing weekend, the freedom loving four other who walks with in guys." man a pickle October has been solved. An In a planned attack, the squirrels people of Afghanistan won Hoping for a ceremonial pub- his ass,' told reporters that "as a of enraged group squirrels were somehow infiltrated the locked another battle against important lic execution, crowds boy, I used to the gathered young carry at the center of an elaborate hate- office those who hate freedom. sometime late Saturday clubs of all the infidels. Then the crime aimed at Cord volunteers and the Brandishing their clubs and night spread papers Soviets came and threw me in "1 shot a four,., whose comments in an unsigned plus the office. Waterloo took to throughout Kalashnikovs, Afghani's with trick named prison a rough editorial had driven the but I shot four literally informed The Cord that the or rather brown really police greens, oily Ali. were those the Boy, years..." creatures "nuts." DNA confirmed the sand, bombs and other testing fecal pock-marked by guys." At the end of the with day. Approximately 1,000 copies matter was thai of laden with mines, in a demonstra- multiple squir- -Abdul close to 50 killed and another 75 of the late October issue were dis- this the tion of their commitment to free- rels, confirming was injured, event organizers con- covered over the weekend by a dom. doing of a well organized activist in the but had cluded that the was a "suc- early morning, day student who noticed a "funky Police added is Open for the first time in thir- group. "not only cleared out within a few hours cess." smell" emanating from the the Kabul this an act of theft and vandalism, ty years, Golf Club was after what golf was. Commenting on the realizing day. Student Publications office early "nine hole it is an act of terrorism, and will formally a paradise "That game is so boring I fell White House Press Secretary When Sunday morning. campus where not be treated lightly. foreign came to diplomats admitted six old Ali. Scott McClellan told asleep." yeas' reporters security unlocked the office, the unwind and 'make deals' with Opinion's editor Bryn Boyce that "no wonder the that "the War on Terror is not just adding issues were found long-lost who local dealers," the clubs was largely responsible for drug Taliban banned it mocks the in the of it, being won streets spread throughout student publi- the controversial editorial brochure out. highly points of civilization." America, the sand dunes of pretense Afghan or cations, torn and covered in feces. Local warlord Mohammad warns that "the squirrel-monks The nine-hole but also the tournament ran Iraq, on greens, or Officials believe that the will not have the last word." Abdul the to in was first tee off of into a snag around 11 am. when oily sands, Afghanistan."' who the squirrels, frequent area The had the Prided for his squirrels no dis- morning. long U.S. the When asked if President Bush warplanes, mistaking outside between the FNCC and Abdul cernible comment, but did make drives, was disappointed crowds to watch for a would consider a round gathered playing student publications, were infuri- chatter and their when his opening shot hooked annoying jiggle wedding bombed hole in Kabul, McClellan laughed and party, ated by an early October editorial left nuts into an opium field and he menacingly. a total of 28. "No does he seven, killing replied. fucking way, calling these creatures "disdain- was forced to take a penalty look like idiot?'' The day was truly a historic an stroke. moment for war-torn WARNING: This is is a joke page. This fake content and is intend- ed be offensive to and entertaining. If you don't tike it, tough, but honestly, have a laugh - it's pretty darn funny. Funny ha ha. ""vattt "Htf ■.mi —"TBP I- V/, JT > *,* .-v y / /// < 112 m ■ \ ■;. ' :' /' MercenarySaints Dirty Lotto , r 32 I ;ce^'- D <. • * «- rft«* ■>-«• « *»*«- 112« *• . tgM -1 -._ w4■r« » - Wednesday December 1, 2004 Ct A £ a (Includes all your J)*+ D 7 exorbitantly priced * U J WLUSP Fees aiif GST) PROUDLY DISSERVICING STUDENTS, STAFF AND FACULTY OF WLU AND REGION SINCE 1911 THEWRECKORD Page 3i...Rodents Unite! Laurier's topbrass smoke WLITs in of squirrels on deliberately top grass part new defecating on students, stealing project to understand the and where Cord, yes, they changing needs of first year store their massive nuts students Poop spreaders caught "brown-handed" Cord editorial staff disturbs shit on campus; spreads it as well - Laurier's infamous fecal perpetrators to be summarily expelled by JAC FRASER KING LOUIS XIV Laurier's Security Service. Poop Spreading Task Force It was reported that inappro- priate phrases were being written A joint effort between Laurier on the walls with the feces about Security Services and the Dean of Students, Dave Waterloo Regional Police has MacMurray. While the reports resulted in the capture of notori- are unconfirmed it seems likely ous '"Shit Crimez Crew," the related to MacMurray's car, a pseudonym that the editorial Mercedes Sports car, which has board for the Cord Weakly has recently been keyed and strewn been using. with fecal matter. Using high-tech surveillance equipment the Waterloo police "What the Hell is co-ordinated a sting operation with Laurier's with kids rent-a-cops, catch- wrong Police. who "Seriously, plays room. Erin Moore, Poopographer the editorial board ing spreading these kind of In addition the formal today?" poop games?" to "heinous insulting crime." fecal matter inside the women's could not be of "fecal - MacMurray charges obscenity" shit!" Staff Sergeant Micheai Flatly "This is such yelled an washroom on the fourth floor of reached for but sounds laid the of comment, being by Region irate Caitlin Howlett, Cord the library. of sobbing and whispers of "my Waterloo, the Judicial Affairs Editor-in-Chief as she was "1 can't believe the smell! "What the Hell is with kompressor, beautiful kom- Committee has already ruled wrong my dragged in handcuffs into a wait- There was so much shit," said kids asked Staff could be heard outside to the today?" Sergeant pressor," unanimously expel perpe- ing police cruiser. Bill Hopkins, the head of Micheai Flatly of the Waterloo of his private executive wash- trators of what is being called a THE WRECKORD and You Top 10 places for handjobs on campus BYLINE MC music to your genitals. If you can for the post-secondary handjob. Shit Disturber can sit you'll be pressing repeat CENTRE OF FEMALES in no time. With the written approval of all It is an issue that has been grap- WLUSU BOARDROOM of its members, the Centre is a pled with since the first days that If the is the best of place for two adults to share students occupied the buildings at past way pre- great in the of mutual HJ. and Is dicting the future, the WLUSU joys a While King University. there a Broadroom be best job. some will find the feminist rheto- place on campus where the hand- may your ric engaging, others will not. job can be appreciated at a level PAUL MARTIN CENTRE above all others? The Cord Some call it the executive special, TURRET BALCONY Weakly thinks so. Here is our others just call it "getting liberal." Why take the fun home when a unapologetic Top 10. Bring that special someone into handjob can be done in the com- fort of club? FOOT PATROL VAN the PMC and celebrate your own campus will They've been serving the com- Canadiana in all its climatic bliss. Not only the brisk winds for 12 Senate the common munity years, why not get During meetings use a nicely juxtapose served yourself. Whether parked blanket. pants-sweat, but the exhibitionist flavour have in or in action, this HJ is character- will you inside no LIBRARY ized by its unrivaled coordina- time. we didn't get permission For the solace like Schegel-dwellers tion. Just a walk, you pick of backissues of Canadian Roseheart new the speed, tempo and midjob con- (Editors' Note: After extensive appoints Business and a of versation. change scenery research, The Cord office proved Arts will help set the mood; for handjob. head of enforce to be awful place for a to students in the BRANTFORD CAMPUS getting jiggy com- Its lack and security of space general second-base like of Dostoevski and is Nothing says pany Tolstoy mood of hatred makes it difficult Waterloo's bastard brother. With sure to the blood The 10-metre rule get rushing. to even excited) smoking get its beautiful scenery and legiti- Library is quite simply the mecca mate physical danger, "Yo, ifthat big black bastard come near me I'm light gonna Browntown is the perfect locale dart off dat sword of student for the thrill-seeker or the more my fiery his" says indignant realistic conservative. Helpful reminder: the locals are not your B REAL smoke less than ten metres away friends. Special to The Wreckord from a building if you have shitty drawers. LITTLE HOUSE SHOWER STALL Dr. Bob Rosehearl, citing fre- feet "Just look at him, seven Quick cleanup and instant lubri- quent student delinquency in sword and all, students tall, fiery cation have made the shower a breaching the inane 10 metre will be scared out of their right place for an HJ since the smoking rule, has named the great pink panties!" exclaimed a visi- beginning of time. Going big in Witchking, Lord of the Nazgul bly jubilant Roseheart. Little is ideal whether you're and star of Lord of the Rings: students don't However, seem or utiliz- soliciting a volunteer(s), Stolen Photo Return of the King, to the top Josh to be intimidated. Boros, a ing its proximity. within the both. position organization. Who is getting a handjob in this picture? We say committed smoker stated "hey, he "I this mean, guy while make the movie RADIO LAURIER BOOTH got killed by a chick in and is intend- WARNING: This is a joke page. This is fake content students shit their pants, and as scchhmooke closer DJs have a face for radio, but anyway, I'll may ed to be offensive and entertaining. If you don't like it, tough, we all know, it's pretty difficult to - ha ha. than 10m forever." but chance are their hands will be honestly, have a laugh it's pretty darn funny. Funny