SILICON VALLEY

Episode 310

Written by Alec Berg

Directed by Alec Berg

2/11/16 – Production White Draft pgs. 1-35 2/15/16 – Revised Blue pgs. 7-7A, 10, 17, 25, 29, 35 2/25/16 – Revised Pink pgs. 18, 20-21 2/26/16 – Revised Yellow pgs. 27-27A, 28

© 2016 Home Box Office, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No portion of this script may be performed, published, reproduced, sold or distributed by any means, or quoted or published in any medium, including on any web site, without the prior written consent of Home Box Office. Distribution or disclosure of this material to unauthorized persons is prohibited. Disposal of this script copy does not alter any of the restrictions previously set forth.

SILICON VALLEY Episode 310 PINK REVISIONS 2/25/16

CAST LIST

RICHARD...... Thomas Middleditch BIG HEAD...... Josh Brener ERLICH...... TJ Miller GILFOYLE...... Martin Starr DINESH...... Kumail Nanjiani JARED...... Zach Woods MONICA...... Amanda Crew GAVIN BELSON...... Matt Ross JIAN-YANG...... Jimmy O. Yang LAURIE...... Suzanne Cryer JACK BARKER...... Stephen Tobolowsky PATRICE...... Jill Alexander HOOVER...... Chris Williams C.J. CANTWELL...... Annie Sertich DANG...... Keye Chen EVAN...... Dustyn Gulledge GLEB...... Miljan Milosevic VC...... Mark Bloom NEEL...... Nikhil Shukla SECRETARY ...... TBD ASSISTANT...... Alyssa Gabrielle Rodriguez GUARD...... Bert Rotundo YOUNG GUY...... Ari Frenkel

SILICON VALLEY Episode 310 PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT 2/11/16

SET LIST

INTERIORS EXTERIORS

HACKER HOSTEL HACKER HOSTEL LIVING ROOM BACKYARD KITCHEN DRIVEWAY RICHARD’S ROOM COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS GARAGE HOOLI GAVIN BELSON’S OFFICE SECURITY ENTRANCE MODEST APARTMENT C.J’S APARTMENT COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS WAITING AREA CONFERENCE ROOM RAVIGA MONICA’S OFFICE CONFERENCE ROOM UPSCALE RESTAURANT

1.

SILICON VALLEY 310 PINK REVISIONS – 2/25/16 SHORT RUNDOWN

1001 (1) D43 INT. HOOLI, GAVIN BELSON’S OFFICE - DAY Gavin Belson, Patrice, Hoover 1002 (3) D43 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, GARAGE – MOMENTS LATER Richard, Jared 1003 (5) D43 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM – MOMENTS LATER Richard, Erlich, Gilfoyle, Dinesh, Jared 1004 (8) D43 INT. HOOLI, SECURITY ENTRANCE – A LITTLE LATER Patrice, Guard 1005 (9) D43 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, BACKYARD – DAY Richard, Gilfoyle, Dinesh 1006 (11) D43 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, GARAGE – A LITTLE LATER Richard, Jared 1007 (13) D44 INT. HOOLI, GAVIN BELSON’S OFFICE - DAY Gavin Belson, Dang, Secretary (V.O.) 1008 (13) D44 INT. C.J.’S APARTMENT – SAME C.J. Cantwell 1009 (14) D44 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, KITCHEN – DAY Richard, Erlich, Gilfoyle, Dinesh 1010 (15) D44 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, DRIVEWAY – MOMENTS LATER Richard, Erlich, Jared 1011 (15) D44 INT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS, WAITING AREA - LATER Richard, Erlich, Assistant 1012 (16) D44 INT. RAVIGA, MONICA’S OFFICE – SIMULTANEOUS Monica 1013 (17) D44 INT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS, CONFERENCE ROOM – A LITTLE LATER Richard, Erlich, VC

2.

1014 (20) D44 EXT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS – MOMENTS LATER Richard, Erlich, Neel 1015 (21) D44 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM – DAY Gilfoyle, Dinesh, Monica, Gleb (on vid-chat) 1016 (23) D44 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, RICHARD’S ROOM - SAME Richard, Jared, Monica 1017 (24) D44 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM – A LITTLE LATER Erlich, Gilfoyle, Dinesh, Jian-Yang 1018 (26) D44 INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT - LATER Gavin Belson, Laurie, Jack Barker 1019 (27) D44 INT. MODEST APARTMENT - DAY Richard, Big Head, Monica (on vid-chat) 1020 (29) N44 INT. RAVIGA, CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT Richard, Jared, Monica, Laurie, Evan, Young Guy 1021 (33) N44 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, BACKYARD - NIGHT Richard, Erlich 1022 (34) N44 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM – NIGHT Richard, Erlich, Big Head, Gilfoyle, Dinesh, Jared, Monica, Jian-Yang 1023 (35) N44 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL – NIGHT

SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 1.

1001 INT. HOOLI, GAVIN BELSON'S OFFICE - DAY (D43) 1001 * CLOSE ON: Gavin's sour face, looking out the window at something O.C. GAVIN BELSON How the fuck does something like this happen? How does an elephant just die? GAVIN'S POV: In the courtyard below his office, a TARP covers a huge lump. There are trappings of construction work around it ("Pardon the Ballyhooli!" SIGNS everywhere). Patrice stands at Gavin's desk, Hoover at the door. PATRICE He was very old. And depressed. He'd recently been rescued from the circus, but as it turns out he actually really loved performing. GAVIN BELSON Who gives a fuck about the elephant? What about me? This does not look good. PATRICE Well, I really don't think anyone * knows he's there. And I'm having a * bit of trouble figuring out how to quietly remove him. He weighs nine thousand pounds. GAVIN BELSON Well, cut it up. Take it out in pieces. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 2.

HOOVER I don't mean to interrupt, but I can call in a personal favor and get a helo crew out of Travis AFB with a Sikorsky skycrane to airlift it out and drop it in the ocean right after dark. No muss, no fuss. GAVIN BELSON There. Was that so hard, Patrice? * Because Hoover sure didn't think so! * I mean, I just found my footing * again, and you put me in danger of * losing it all over some fucking elephant?! PATRICE Gavin, you always said that here at Hooli, "to achieve greatness, we must first achieve goodness." GAVIN BELSON Right. So? PATRICE So... I was a bridesmaid at Sean Parker's wedding when he handed out live bunnies as plush toys. That wasn't "goodness." It was badness. * And so is this. You're using * endangered animals just to make * points in board meetings. GAVIN BELSON I'm not "making points," I'm drawing thoughtful zoological comparisons. PATRICE But... couldn't you have just showed them a picture of an elephant? A * simple HooliSearch would yield * thousands of choices. * GAVIN BELSON * Patrice, I thank you for your * honesty, and I will repay you with my * own: I honestly never want to see you * in my offices again. You're fired. * Hoover? * (MORE) SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 3. GAVIN BELSON (cont'd) (swirls a finger) * Scramble that skycrane. Patrice is in complete shock. OPENING TITLES

1002 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, GARAGE - MOMENTS LATER (D43) 1002 * A very nervous Jared shows Richard in. JARED Please, come in. Come in. Have a seat. I won't take a lot of your time, I promise. RICHARD Okay. JARED Would you like some tea? I can put a kettle on the hot plate? RICHARD No, Jared. I'm fine. What's on your mind? Jared takes a deep breath, then... JARED It's no trouble. I have several decaf varieties if that's a concern. I have peppermint, and a Lapsang Souchong. Or cocoa? Or hot water with lemon? RICHARD Jared, is this about the fake users? JARED (stunned) What? You know? * RICHARD * For a few days now. * JARED * Richard, I am so sorry. It's been * eating me alive. I've been trying to * think of a way to tell you. * RICHARD * It's okay. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 3A.

JARED * It's not okay. I'll resign * immediately, I'll issue a statement * that you had no involvement. * RICHARD * You don't have to do that. * JARED * Would it make you feel better to * strike me? It might make me feel * better. But this isn't about me. * There I go again. * RICHARD * Jared. I'm not mad, because I know * why you did it. And you were right. * * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 4.

JARED * I was? RICHARD Yes. I wanted to shut the company down last week. But, we're not quitters. We built a great thing. And maybe it's because we all know it'll be over in a few weeks when we run out of money, but everyone's in a good mood. Gilfoyle's been less racist toward Dinesh than I've ever seen him. JARED That's true. I don't think I've cringed in days. What gave me away? * RICHARD * Two days ago I was looking at user * behavior, trying to get a handle on * what spurred the uptick, and I * noticed something. Almost all of our * new users were putting a single photo * into their sharing folder one day, * and then taking it out the next, then * putting it back in the day after. And * that's it. Just enough to qualify as * a daily active user. Classic click * farm behavior. And then I thought * about our conversation in the * bathtub, and... it had to be you. * But, you had good intentions, Jared. * So don't give it another thought. We're the only two people that know. And in a few weeks when we run out of money, it'll all be over anyway. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 5.

Jared thinks a beat, then. JARED (pleased) Richard? We have a secret.

1003 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER (D43) 1003 * Richard and an emotional Jared return to the living room to find ERLICH, wide-eyed with adrenaline, telling Dinesh and Gilfoyle tales of his latest exploits. ERLICH My hand to God, gentlemen, if you had been there your dicks would have blasted clean through your britches. RICHARD Hey, what's going on? ERLICH I did it, Richard! I did it. I just saved our fucking company! RICHARD What are you talking about? How? DINESH Jared have you been crying? JARED Yes, but for ordinary reasons. Please go on. They all blow past it, Erlich continues. ERLICH I was at the Rosewood for lunch. I wasn't eating, but I was there and it was the lunch hour. The usual. Now normally, as you know, I'm the mayor of that place. People there love me. So today I see Andreessen, and I go up, and I say something funny. And this guy fucking stone-faces me. GILFOYLE What did you say? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 6.

ERLICH Doesn't matter. The point is it was hilarious and the guy gives me nothing. And his friends, same thing. And then I realize why. GILFOYLE You're not funny? ERLICH No. It's because they all think Pied Piper's in a death spiral, so it * would be inappropriate to laugh at my * funny joke. But then it hits me: I * know something they don't. I know about the uptick. RICHARD Sorry, the what? ERLICH (points to dashboard monitor) The uptick. Our sudden spike in users. JARED (strange laugh) * Oh, yeah. That. * ERLICH * Yes. That! Our fortunes are rising * right when they think they're still * plumetting. And I realize if I play * it just right, those opposing forces could have a multiplying effect, like a slingshot. So I make a move: I say * something cryptic about the uptick and walk away. DINESH What did you say? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 7.

ERLICH No idea. Then I go right over to * McNamee, who had ordered the short rib, which I hear is excellent by the way, and I tell him he needs to tuck in his tie-dye shirt if he * wants to eat there. DINESH What? How is that relevant? ERLICH It's not. But the guys I just walked * away from don't know that. All they know is I just walked away from them, and now I'm talking to McNamee. About what? That's what they all want to know. And then, I could see the FOMO setting in. Fear of missing out. And then it was like the world slowed down. I saw every move twelve steps ahead. I walk outside and call Branscomb Ventures and tell them I've got another call and I hang up. I cross the street to Greylock and check-in on Instagram. Vinod Khosla * calls and asks what I'm doing there. I say call me back at Wood Opal. He does, and now Wood Opal's thinking what's Khosla got going with Bachman? * Meanwhile, I'm taking a leak at Restoration Hardware. And from there it just snowballs. I play Ross-Loma off against Index Ventures, and then finally the Big Kahuna bites: * Sequoia. I spend twenty minutes * sending Jim Goetz's calls straight to * voice mail while I burn one off at Ikea. And when I finally listen I've got offers, I've got counters, I've got counter-counters. And when the dust settles, and the losers all go home, what's left behind is this... He holds up his phone to show a text. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 7A.

ERLICH (cont'd) An offer from Coleman Blair Partners, to fund our Series B to the tune of six million dollars on a sixty- million dollar valuation! JARED Oh! (covers) Yes! SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 8.

DINESH Holy shit! GILFOYLE (re: Dinesh) And this asshole wanted to pivot to video-chat. DINESH Still valid. Though slightly less sexy now. I'll concede that. ERLICH We had six days of runway left, now we have six mil! And the cornerstone upon which I built this entire motherfucking cathedral is that beautiful little uptick. Who's drinking? I think I have a bottle of Cold Duck hidden in the crisper. Erlich heads for the kitchen with Dinesh and Gilfoyle in tow. Jared gives Richard a terrified look. RICHARD I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him...

1004 INT. HOOLI, SECURITY ENTRANCE - A LITTLE LATER (D43) 1004 * A BOX of Patrice's personal things sits on a security desk. Patrice, whose eye makeup is now a mess, mournfully hands a GUARD her HOOLI BADGE. PATRICE Here's my Hooli badge. And I have a hang tag on my rearview mirror for the parking structure. Can I just mail that in? GUARD No. You need to go get that. PATRICE Okay. Patrice nods, then notices C.J.'S BLOG on a nearby laptop. There's a cartoon of C.J. saying, "GOT TECH DIRT?!" Patrice considers this for a moment, staring at the screen. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 9.

1005 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, BACKYARD - DAY (D43) 1005 * Richard emerges from the back door, comes out to see the remains of a BOTTLE OF COLD DUCK and some empty PAPER CUPS, but no one's there. He looks around the corner, where did they go? He turns back to find Dinesh standing right behind him. Richard startles. RICHARD Aaaah! Dinesh. Hey. What's up? * DINESH Hey, buddy. What's up? RICHARD Nothing. What's up? Just looking for * Erlich. Have you seen him? DINESH Liquor run. Gotta keep the party * going. Series B and all. * RICHARD Yeah, Series B. Crazy, right? DINESH Yeah. Unreal. Richard heads for the house. DINESH (cont'd) Like many of our users. Richard stops. RICHARD What? What does that mean? DINESH Unreal has many meanings. "Fake." "Paid for." "One person in Bangladesh pretending to be six thousand." RICHARD Okay, listen. I did not -- DINESH Ah. Stop. I don't want to know what happened. I honestly don't. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 10.

RICHARD Well, that's fine, because nothing happened. DINESH Great. Richard turns to leave and Gilfoyle is right behind him. RICHARD Aighgh! GILFOYLE But if something did happen, and we're not saying it did, the fact remains that we find ourselves in a very advantageous position here. There's a lot of money on the table, and it would be a shame if it went away. RICHARD Guys... DINESH You know what else would be a shame? If I couldn't find the flash drive I just lost. Gilfoyle, have you seen my flash drive? GILFOYLE You mean the one that had that zombie-script on it? DINESH Why yes, the zombie-script that would randomize user actions on platforms such as Pied Piper. GILFOYLE What, you mean so that paid users from click farms would be absolutely indistinguishable from real users? DINESH I suppose. Especially during due diligence, like that done by VCs or a * possible future review by certain * regulatory bodies. It also had some * photos on it. Of my auntie. Anyway, have you seen it? GILFOYLE No. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 11.

DINESH Well, Richard. Keep an eye out for it. It's black. About two inches long. Often on the ground. Dinesh takes a THUMB DRIVE out of his pocket and puts in on the ground. DINESH (cont'd) I guess we'll never know what happened to it. Gilfoyle, would you * come inside and help me find a replacement flash drive on "double-u double-u double-u dot Staples dot com"? Beat, then Gilfoyle bails on the ruse. GILFOYLE Alright. I'm sort of done. DINESH Fine. But Richard? Whatever you did or didn't do, it was some serial- killer-level shit. GILFOYLE Agreed. I think I finally respect you as a CEO. They leave. Richard stares at the thumb drive for a long beat. Finally he picks up the thumb drive, puts it in his pocket and heads inside.

1006 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, GARAGE - A LITTLE LATER (D43) 1006 * Richard and Jared in mid-discussion in the garage. JARED I don't understand. When are you going to tell him? RICHARD Well, why do I have to tell him at all? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 12.

JARED Richard! You can't take six million dollars from these people under false pretenses. RICHARD Jared, six million dollars means everything to us, but it's meaningless to these people. They sweat out more than that on any given day, or throw it at "Uber for toothbrushes" or whatever and never miss it. JARED But this is fraud. RICHARD Is it? Our platform is good, right? It actually does exactly what we're saying it does. It's not like we're lying about that, like Theranos. And if the platform works, which we know it will, we'll make them billions. I mean, you still believe that, if given enough time, the platform will catch on, right? JARED Richard, don't weaponize my faith in you against me. RICHARD Jared, a week ago I was about to pull the plug. Your faith is what made all this possible. You did that, Jared. Not me. In fact, I haven't done anything. You bought the users. Erlich took those numbers and ran off to negotiate that deal. And if anyone bothers to look closely at our user data, Dinesh and Gilfoyle coded a solution for that. All I have to do is let it happen and we're back in business. JARED But that's just wrong. RICHARD Well, if we do things the "right" way, we're done. So, I don't know how much of an option that is. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 13.

Richard turns to go, leaving a distraught Jared to ponder this. DISSOLVE TO:

* INT. HOOLI, GAVIN BELSON’S OFFICE – DAY (D44) 1007 1007 Gavin sits at his desk, looking at SEVERAL MOCK-UPS of the Box arranged on easels. GAVIN BELSON Dang, they're all so good... VOICE (O.C.) Thank you. REVEAL: DANG (clad in a HOOLI T-SHIRT) proudly stands near the mock-ups. SECRETARY (V.O.) Gavin, C.J. Cantwell on one. GAVIN BELSON Let's pick this up tomorrow, Dang. Dang collects the mock-ups and heads off as Gavin answers his PHONE. GAVIN BELSON (cont'd) C.J. What's that stand for, anyway? "Crack Journalist." Eh? INTERCUT WITH:

1008 INT. C.J.'S APARTMENT - SAME (D44) 1008 * C.J.'s on the phone. C.J. CANTWELL Funny. I'm finishing up a piece that I'd love a comment on. It's about the death of an unpermitted Indian elephant named Maurice in your sculpture garden and its subsequent illegal dumping in the San Francisco Bay. GAVIN BELSON * That's preposterous. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 13A.

Gavin peers out to the courtyard. Where the elephant was, * there's now a STATUE OF GAVIN like Saint Francis of Assisi, * friend to animals. * C.J. CANTWELL * I have a very good source. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 14.

GAVIN BELSON C.J., my name is on two wildlife refuges in Tanzania. C.J. CANTWELL * Really? Shit, that's great. Thanks. * GAVIN BELSON Alright, C.J. Enough. What are we * going to do here? *

1009 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, KITCHEN - DAY (D44) 1009 * Dinesh and Gilfoyle listen to an ebullient Erlich. * ERLICH C.J. sold the blog for two million bucks! DINESH No shit. When it rains, it pours. GILFOYLE So Bachmanity rides again? ERLICH Not exactly. I called Big Head to tell him our share was a half mil each. Five minutes later one Nelson Bighetti Senior called me. He made it very clear I was to have no more financial dealings with his son or he would get "very Italian" on me. I'm not interested in finding out what that means. Richard pops in from the hallway. RICHARD Shall we? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 15.

ERLICH Where's Jared? No send off? Ah well, money waits for no man. GILFOYLE Good luck fellas. ERLICH No need for luck. It's a done deal. Erlich heads for the door, leaving Richard with Gilfoyle and Dinesh. DINESH Baller, Richard. Baller. Richard heads for the door.

1010 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, DRIVEWAY - MOMENTS LATER (D44) 1010 * Erlich climbs into the AVIATO CAR, Richard on his heels. As Richard turns to climb into the car he spots Jared sadly looking out the window at him. Richard tries to look away, but Jared's sad countenance is mesmerizing. Erlich starts the car and they pull away, Jared sadly staring all the while.

1011 INT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS, WAITING AREA - LATER (D44) 1011 * Erlich and Richard sit on a POSH LEATHER COUCH. ERLICH Now when we get in there, you just smile and look pretty and let me do all the talking. RICHARD Yeah. Great. * Richard gets a call. Looks at his PHONE. RICHARD (cont'd) Hey, what's up? INTERCUT WITH: SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 16.

1012 INT. RAVIGA, MONICA'S OFFICE - SIMULTANEOUS (D44) 1012 * A furious Monica paces in her office, on the PHONE. MONICA What's up?! Are you guys out raising money from someone else? Can that actually be true? RICHARD (whispering) Monica, it's a long story -- MONICA Why are you whispering? (then) Oh my God, you're there right now! Do * you have any idea how big of an asshole you're making me look like here? Laurie lost her shit at me. You * need to turn around and walk the hell * out of there. * RICHARD Look, Erlich put it all together. I * actually had nothing to do with it. * MONICA You have everything to do with it. * You're the fucking CEO, Richard. * Whatever your company does is one * hundred percent on you. * An ASSISTANT steps into the waiting area. ASSISTANT Gentlemen? * RICHARD * (to Monica) * I've gotta go. * Richard hangs up. * ASSISTANT * They're ready for you. * ERLICH And we for them. They head for the conference room. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 17.

1013 INT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS, CONFERENCE ROOM 1013 - A LITTLE LATER (D44) Erlich looks physically aroused. Richard looks resolute. VC ...So listen, we're pumped, guys. We're thrilled to be getting into Pied Piper right at this inflection point. It's very exciting. ERLICH Great. This is great. Eh, Richard? Erlich smiles. All eyes turn to Richard. RICHARD Huh? Oh, yeah. It's great. So, do you guys want me to walk you through the platform, or... VC No, Richard. We've fast-tracked the deal. We're all just here to lock it down. So... we'll just need your John Hancock right here. The VC slides a TERM SHEET and a PEN across the table. RICHARD Oh. This is the actual term sheet. VC Yes. And you're the CEO, so... right there at the bottom, please. RICHARD And, once I sign this, that's it? VC Yep. (jokingly ominous) No turning back. The VCs chuckle. So does Erlich. VC (cont'd) You can have your lawyers vet the actual stock purchase agreement once * we close here, just to make sure no one's pulling any funny business. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PINK REVISIONS - 2/25/16 18.

More chuckles. Richard picks up the pen. He puts it to the page. Will he or won't he? Finally... RICHARD Oh my God. You know what just occurred to me, in this instant? What if I told you we had used the compression that you already know and love to build a world-beating, wait for it... video-conferencing application. Now, wouldn't that be interesting? ERLICH What? VC You mean like Skype or FaceTime or Hooli-Chat? RICHARD Oh, this is way better than Hooli- Chat. I could go home and get my laptop, and bring it back here and show you. It's not too far. I don't mind. (pulls out phone) There's usually an Uber like two minutes away. Yep, see? Neel is in a * blue Kia Sportage right around the corner. Richard starts pressing buttons on his phone. The VCs look at each other, confused. ERLICH (through gritted teeth) Richard? What the fuck are you doing? VC Alright. Look, I don't know who else you're talking to about the platform, but I'm willing to go up to seven million on seventy. But that's it. And you sign this thing right here, right now. The guy takes the term sheet, starts writing in a new number. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 19.

ERLICH (sotto) Okay, well done. Good neg. Now sign it. The VC slides the sheet back toward Richard. All eyes are on Richard once again. RICHARD Have you used the platform? Kind of freaks people out. "Where are my files? I'm a dummy." Am I right? ERLICH Richard? (to VCs) Can I sign it? VC You can if you want. But we still need his signature. ERLICH Richard, that is two full years of runway! Sign it! Sign it right now. Erlich thrusts the pen at him. RICHARD I can't. ERLICH Why the fuck not? RICHARD (blurting) Because the numbers are fake. Everyone stares. * RICHARD (cont'd) * (defeated) * We bought users from a Bangladeshi * click farm. * (then) * But the vid-chat is totally real. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PINK REVISIONS - 2/25/16 20.

1014 EXT. COLEMAN BLAIR PARTNERS - MOMENTS LATER (D44) 1014 Erlich barrels out of the building toward the Aviato car, fuming. Richard trails. RICHARD Erlich, the fake users were only meant to cheer the guys up. I didn't know you were going to take those numbers out and -- ERLICH What? Do my fucking job, Richard? Pour my soul into negotiating the best possible deal for this company, because I believed in it? Well, that's over. We are fucked. In the time it took us to walk from that room to here, every VC in the fucking valley has heard about this. You think Pied Piper is it for me? I have to work with these people, Richard. They used to think I was a lying blowhard, but now they have proof. RICHARD What was I supposed to do? If I sign that term sheet, that's fraud. That's a fucking crime. Are you saying you wanted me to commit a crime? ERLICH I'm saying you should have thought about that before you got into that fucking situation. Before you put me in that situation and then blew me up by pussying out! A BLUE KIA SPORTAGE pulls up. NEEL * Are you Richard? RICHARD No. ERLICH You bitched and whined when Laurie fired you as CEO. Well this is why, Richard! All you had to do was shut the fuck up and sign your fucking name. But you caked your pants. Worse than that, you caked my pants. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PINK REVISIONS - 2/25/16 21.

Erlich ignites the Aviato car. ERLICH (cont'd) I painted the fucking Mona Lisa for you. That deal was my masterpiece. And they were just about to buy it, when you told them that... all of the brown paint was made out of shit. (beat) You know what? Fuck that analogy. And fuck you, Richard Hendricks. Erlich drives off. Richard turns to see an angry NEEL * staring at him. NEEL * "Richard?" Prick. Neel drives off. * DISSOLVE TO:

1015 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM - DAY (D44) 1015 Monica enters to find Dinesh and Gilfoyle in the living room. MONICA Hey, is Richard here? I heard what happened. He's not answering my calls. Dinesh and Gilfoyle spring to their feet. DINESH Monica, we'd like you to know for the record that we had no idea anything like that was going on. I mean, we're still trying to make sense of it here. GILFOYLE The point is, don't beat yourself up for not seeing it. Because we didn't. And it was happening under this very roof. DINESH It's chilling, really. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 22.

GILFOYLE I hope you don't think we're guilty by association. Because then we would think you're guilty by association. Which we don't. DINESH We would do business with you in the future. Definitely. MONICA Good to know guys, thanks. Is he in his room? GILFOYLE I mean, he said he was, but... Gilfoyle shrugs, "Who can tell?" Monica exits. Dinesh gets a ping on his PHONE. He clicks a key, pulling up Gleb on the VID-CHAT APP. DINESH Hey, Gleb. GLEB I hear Richard shit bed, eh? So platform is no goo -- goo -- The screen glitches. DINESH Fuck, really? Now the vid-chat is fucking up? GILFOYLE Odd, considering who coded it. * Dinesh gets on his computer and pulls up the DASHBOARD. DINESH It's not my code. The server is * overloaded. GILFOYLE How could it be overloaded? We only gave it to like twelve people. DINESH Well, there are a few more than that * using it now. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 23.

Gilfoyle peers at the dashboard. * GILFOYLE * Holy shit. Four thousand people? *

1016 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, RICHARD'S ROOM - SAME (D44) 1016 * Monica stands in the room, talking to Richard, who sits on his bed, next to Jared, who affects the exact same posture. MONICA For what it's worth, Richard, I think you did the right thing. And I see now why you didn't want to come to us for funding. You were trying to protect us. RICHARD Yeah. Richard rubs his eyes. Jared does the same. Richard crosses his arms. Jared crosses his arms, too. MONICA Well, I really appreciate it. Laurie, on the other hand... RICHARD She's pissed? MONICA She wants out, Richard. Even a whiff of fraud is a mortal sin for VCs. She needs to wash her hands of any Pied Piper business. She's forcing a sale. RICHARD Fuck. JARED Frick... MONICA Yeah. But it's an open auction. If no one bids, you might be able to buy your own company back for next to nothing. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 24.

RICHARD Well, it'd have to be for literally nothing. Because we have no money. Richard flops back on the bed. Jared does the same, BANGS his head on the wall. MONICA Jesus, you okay? JARED We're fine.

1017 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM - A LITTLE LATER (D44) 1017 * Dinesh and Jian-Yang look at the VID-CHAT DASHBOARD. The God-view is on a SECOND MONITOR. Gilfoyle types on his COMPUTER. GILFOYLE I spun up a few more servers to handle the traffic. DINESH Look at this, there's a hundred and fifty-seven people using it near Gleb. GILFOYLE So he's spreading it around Bulgaria like foot and mouth disease. DINESH And two hundred and fifty near Elisabet in Estonia. And four hundred near Tara in Boston. GILFOYLE I said she could give it to some of * her Satanist friends. Looks like she * did. * DINESH * She knows four hundred Satanists in * Boston? * GILFOYLE * The Catholic church really did a * number on that town. *

Erlich enters. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 25.

DINESH Hey, Erlich, remember when Gilfoyle said that my vid-chat app was really shitty and no one would ever use it? He was wrong over four thousand times. ERLICH You built that app using Pied Piper's IP, right? Well, kiss that goodbye. DINESH Oh yeah. Fuck... GILFOYLE It's fun when stuff Dinesh loves goes away. ERLICH Speaking of, I will be spending the first dollars of my blog windfall on a trip to the Kainchi Dham Ashram in * Nainital, India, where Steve Jobs famously sought peace and came up with the idea for a little product called... the Lisa. When I return, I'll expect to hear pitches from each of you should you be interested in retaining a place here in my incubator. GILFOYLE Why would we waste a new idea on you? DINESH You told us no VC in town will ever take your call again. ERLICH A fair point. One which I will drill down on while contemplating the * teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda. * Richard and Monica enter from the hallway. ERLICH (cont'd) Richard. You have until the end of the day to leave the premises. Monica. Erlich heads for his room. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 25A.

JIAN-YANG You know, you can stay here one year, free rent. * ERLICH Jian-Yang! RICHARD * (re: Jian-Yang) Is that my shirt? JIAN-YANG * You are racist. * He leaves, looking very guilty. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 26.

1018 INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT - LATER (D44) 1018 * Gavin and Jack Barker head for the door, having just had lunch as Laurie enters. GAVIN BELSON Laurie. LAURIE Gavin. GAVIN BELSON You know Jack, of course. LAURIE That is correct. JACK BARKER Haven't seen you since you fired me from Pied Piper because I wanted to build a box. Which coincidentally is quite similar to the very lucrative one we're building at Endframe. Funny. LAURIE Yes. Very. Gavin, can we address the elephant in the room? GAVIN BELSON (goes pale) Sorry? LAURIE Pied Piper. GAVIN BELSON Right. Yes, of course. * LAURIE I'm forcing a sale. Your Maleant dealings demonstrate you're still pursuing middle-out. Might you be interested in placing a bid? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 2/26/16 27.

JACK BARKER Why would he bail out Raviga? You just said it yourself: our compression play is thriving. LAURIE Fair enough. GAVIN BELSON You know what? I'm a completionist. Even if I buy it just to throw it in the garbage, I'd like to be the one to drive the final nail into Hendricks' coffin. I'll give you... He pulls out his MONEY CLIP. GAVIN BELSON (cont'd) Nine hundred dollars for it? (beat) Aw, you know what? I like nice round numbers. Make it a million.

1019 INT. MODEST APARTMENT - DAY (D44) 1019 Big Head stuffs CLOTHES into a DUFFLE BAG as Richard VID- CHATS with Monica. RICHARD A million dollars? To Gavin fucking Belson. Dammit... MONICA Yeah. I know. Sorry. Laurie's calling an emergency board meeting at six. * Can you make it? * RICHARD Yeah... Fuck. It's not enough for us * to lose? Gavin Belson has to win? MONICA I know this was the last way you wanted it to end. Sorry. RICHARD Yeah, well. I guess I'll see you at the meeting. * He hangs up. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 2/26/16 27A.

BIG HEAD Was that Hooli-Chat? Did they fix it? Because that didn't look shitty at all. RICHARD It's ours, actually. The guys hacked it together. Here, check it out. He grabs Big Head's LAPTOP and starts typing. RICHARD (cont'd) We got four K users totally organically. Richard notices something on the DASHBOARD. RICHARD (cont'd) Holy crap. It's up to seven K. Dammit, this is what we should have been making the entire time. Although I guess it doesn't matter because it's all going to belong to Gavin Belson in an hour. * BIG HEAD That's ironic, huh? Richard smiles weakly at him. BIG HEAD (cont'd) No, for real. I'm asking. Is that ironic? RICHARD I don't know. Hey, thanks for hooking me up here. BIG HEAD Yeah, no worries. Steve says you're welcome to take my spot on the couch until you find a job and you can afford your own place. RICHARD I've slept on worse. (lifts cushion) At least it pulls out. BIG HEAD Oh, hey. Look at that... SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 27B.

RICHARD So when's your dad get here? * BIG HEAD Couple hours. Then we're turning * right around and driving back to * Phoenix. * RICHARD Wow, he really wants you to move * home, huh? * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - YELLOW REVISIONS - 2/26/16 28.

BIG HEAD Yeah. He says he wants to be able to keep an eye on me and my money this time. And that I need to get a real job to learn the value of a hard day's night, or something. Maybe he's right. I don't know why the hell I ever moved out here. I don't belong here. RICHARD * Well, I gotta get to this board * meeting, and you'll be gone by the * time I get back, so I guess this is * it. * BIG HEAD * I guess so. * An awkward huggish moment. * BIG HEAD (cont'd) * Hey, if you want a cannon ball, * there's two in the closet. The good * one is Steve's, but you can have the * other. * Richard nods, heads out. Big Head sits down and starts * playing with the video chat. * SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 29.

1020 INT. RAVIGA, CONFERENCE ROOM - NIGHT (N44) 1020 * Richard and Jared sit at the conference table. The mood is somber, though Jared is a little more upbeat. JARED Richard, even though it's the last board meeting, and essentially meaningless, thank you for letting me participate. It's an honor. Laurie, Monica, and EVAN enter and take seats at the table. LAURIE Good day all. This should be brief. The first and only item on the agenda -- JARED Do we take attendance? LAURIE At board meetings? Not generally. JARED Oh. May we? Jared Dunn. Present. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 30.

LAURIE Yes. We did that. Now, a vote to * authorize the sale of Pied Piper to the current high bidder. Three yes votes will approve the sale, and as Raviga controls three seats on the board -- MONICA I'm sorry. I'm not doing it. LAURIE Monica, not again. MONICA I'm sorry. Richard's worked too hard, and I've worked too hard, and I know I can't stop it, but I'm just not going to vote to let Pied Piper become the property of that asshole. LAURIE Monica, I also happen to find him contemptible. But Pied Piper will go to the highest bidder, period. MONICA You know what? I don't care. If you want to fire me, fire me. If we're not going to adhere to the values Peter Gregory instilled, then I don't think I belong here. I mean, we're selling to the person he hated the most? RICHARD Monica, you don't have to do this. MONICA * I'm not voting yes. LAURIE Very well. You're fired. Laurie turns to see a YOUNG GUY walking past. LAURIE (cont'd) Excuse me? Man? Do you work here? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 31.

YOUNG GUY Um, yeah, it was my first day actually. Everybody's been super -- LAURIE Sit. You're now officially on the board of directors of Pied Piper. * YOUNG GUY Oh. Okay. That's fine, I guess. * Jared gives an indignant look. * LAURIE * When I point to you, you will vote * "yes." Now, I move to vote on the * sale of Pied Piper. I vote yes. She points to the Young Guy. YOUNG GUY I vote yes. * LAURIE Well done. And Evan? * All eyes turn to Evan, who just sits there. EVAN I can't do it. LAURIE What? Why? EVAN Because... (he turns to Monica) Monica. I love you. There. I said it. And I could never do anything to make you sad. LAURIE For fuck's sake, do I have to pull the receptionist in here? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 32.

JARED (to Richard) How does this compare to a typical board meeting, excitement-wise? RICHARD Stop! Enough already. We all know how this is going to end. So let's just fucking get it over with. (raises hand) I vote yes. I approve the sale. That's three yes votes. Okay? Can we just be done? JARED I vote yes also. Jared nods to Richard. LAURIE Very well. The sale is approved. Pied Piper, its IP and all of its assets are now officially the property of Bachmanity, LLC. RICHARD Wait, what? Bachmanity? MONICA Bachmanity as in Erlich Bachman and Nelson Bighetti? LAURIE Yes. You know them. MONICA They were the high bid? How? LAURIE I received a phone call about thirty minutes ago entering a bid of one million and one dollars, with a firm no-shop clause, meaning we could not return to Gavin to solicit a higher bid. I assumed you knew. Everyone is still piecing it together. RICHARD No. Wait. When you said you thought the person buying Pied Piper was a contemptible asshole you meant... Erlich? SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 33.

LAURIE Yes. To which contemptible asshole did you think I was referring? MONICA Gavin Belson. Laurie considers. LAURIE Oh. I see. No. Everyone sits in silence, trying to make sense of this. Evan turns to Monica. EVAN So, should we give this thing a shot? *

1021 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL, BACKYARD - NIGHT (N44) 1021 * Richard emerges from the house and approaches Erlich who sits sulking, BEER in hand. * RICHARD So, you and Big Head, huh? Erlich stone-faces him. RICHARD (cont'd) I'm sorry you had to cancel your * trip. I really appreciate this. And * I'm sorry about what happened before. * But, I think this video-chat could * really be something. I don't know if you've seen the numbers. ERLICH * You want a number? Percentage I care about you: zero. Trending steady. * (beat) * Of course I've seen the numbers. What * the fuck do you think this was all about? This is a business opportunity. Nothing more. Big Head may be your friend. He's the one that talked me into this. But I don't trust you, Richard Hendricks. And you're going to have to wait a long long time before I learn to forgive you. Are we cl -- SILICON VALLEY - 310 - PRODUCTION WHITE DRAFT - 2/11/16 34.

SMASH CUT TO:

1022 INT. HACKER HOSTEL, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (N44) 1022 * Erlich exhales a HUGE BONG HIT, dying of laughter. His arm's wrapped around Richard, turns and gives him a noogie. EVERYONE Always blue! Always blue! REVEAL: Dinesh tosses the BALL as Gilfoyle, Jared, Big Head and Monica sit at the table. The mood is festive. Dinesh drops the ball. Everyone reacts. EVERYONE (cont'd) Ha!/You suck!/My record stands./etc. BIG HEAD (checks phone) Fuck, it's my dad again. He's gotta be so pissed. RICHARD I can't believe this is happening. And the best part is, it's us, and only us. Controlling our own destiny. ERLICH No, my friend. The best part is I own fifty percent. RICHARD Well, yeah. Right now you and Big Head own the entire company. But... I'm the founder. I assume I'll get my original shares back, right? ERLICH Why would you assume that? JARED When a tech company reboots, it's normal to have a conversation about restructuring the cap table. DINESH Good, because I'm the one who hacked the vid-chat together in the first place to see if that girl was hot. SILICON VALLEY - 310 - BLUE REVISIONS - 2/15/16 35.

GILFOYLE It'll never scale until I get in there and scrape all the Dinesh off. MONICA Well, Laurie hasn't called me back. I may need a job. I'm guessing Pied Piper can't afford my salary, so I'll need stock. * BIG HEAD Do we really want it to be called "Pied Piper" anymore? RICHARD It's a good name. JARED And we do already have the jackets. ERLICH Biiig. Heeeaaad. Erlich gets a PHONE CALL. Answers. ERLICH (cont'd) Go for Erlich. JIAN-YANG (V.O.) Erlich Bachman, this is you as a old man. I'm ugly and die alone. Erlich turns and sees Jian-Yang in the hallway. ERLICH Jian-Yang! You goddamn imp! Do you even understand how prank calls work? As Erlich stomps off after Jian-Yang, Richard clocks Jian- Yang's SHIRT. RICHARD Wait. That's another one of my shirts.

1023 EXT. HACKER HOSTEL - NIGHT (N44) 1023 As we hear the assorted brouhaha continue, we PULL OUT. END OF EPISODE