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ArlingtonArlinThe gton Connection At the 34th News, Page 3 Sports, page 12 ❖ Classified, page 13 Classified, ❖ Calendar, page 8 Moving Forward At Marathon Sports, Page 12 online at www.connectionnewspapers.com Wheelchair and hand cycle Fiscal participants line Camps & Schools up for the start of the 34th Bad News Marine Corp News, page 3 Marathon on Sunday, Oct. 25. Requested in home 10-29-09 home in Requested Time sensitive material. sensitive Time D.C.’s Postmaster: Attention PERMIT #322 PERMIT Easton, MD Easton, PAID Funniest Feds Postage U.S. inside News, page 3 STD PRSRT Photo by LaShawn Avery/The Connection www.ConnectionNewspapers.com October 28-November 3, 2009 ❖ Volume XXIII, Number 43 Arlington Connection ❖ October 28 - November 3, 2009 ❖ 1 2 ❖ Arlington Connection ❖ October 28 - November 3, 2009 www.ConnectionNewspapers.com Arlington Connection Editor Steven Mauren News 703-778-9415 or [email protected] It’s That Bad County Board sets guidance that next year’s budget shouldn’t exceed current spending. By Michael Lee Pope in recent years,” said Mark Schwartz, di- The Connection rector of Management and Finance for the county. “Given the scope of cuts that must /The Connection ith the county manager ex- be made, layoffs will be very probable al- pected to present a pro- though nothing is certain yet.” Wposed budget in February, the County Board last week- DECLINING REAL-ESTATE assessments end adopted a budget guidance that re- are the main reason for the county’s falling LaShawn Avery quests a budget for fiscal year 2011 budget revenue projections. Although residential no greater than the adopted budget for fis- assessments are only expected to fall 5 per- cal year 2010. That’s $947 million. Board cent, commercial real-estate assessments members directed the county manager to are anticipated to drop by 14 percent. The Photos by Photos close the anticipated precipitous drop in Runners prepare to race at the Marine Corp Marathon in Arlington budget gap by equally “... layoffs will be very commercial real-estate on Sunday, Oct. 25. dividing between ser- assessments reflects the vice reductions and probable although tightest credit environ- revenue increases. ment for commercial th “Closing a gap of this nothing is certain yet.” developers in a genera- 34 Marine magnitude will require — Mark Schwartz, director of tion or more — a phe- a strategic balancing of Management and Finance nomenon that will in- Corps Marathon tax and fee increases fluence how this year’s and noticeable service reductions,” said budget cycle will be County Board Chairwoman Barbara Favola shaped in the coming months. in a written statement. “In the end, I am “Commercial real estate saved Arlington’s confident the final fiscal year 2011 budget tax base the last couple of years as residen- will reflect our community’s values.” tial declined,” said Stephen Fuller, director County budget officials are expecting to of the Center for Regional Analysis at receive about $40 to $50 million less in rev- George Mason University. “Now that resi- enues this year, the product of a flagging dential has stabilized and is expected to real-estate market and dwindling alloca- grow in value next year and commercial tions from state and federal coffers. In ad- real-estate cycle is headed downward, it dition to those losses, the county is expect- looks like a liability.” ing to have about $40 to $50 million in ad- Fuller said that Arlington’s deficit is small ditional costs with uncontrolled expenses. in comparison to other jurisdictions in That includes an additional $4.6-million Northern Virginia, and that he expects the Graham Fenton from the hit increase in debt service and $2-million in- commercial real-estate cycle to lag the resi- Montel Williams, former marine Broadway show “Jersey Boys” crease in Metro payments. Adding the lost dential recovery by only one year. Mean- and daytime talk show host, sang the National anthem before revenues to the increased expenses creates while, Arlington’s budget officials are brac- gives an motivational speech to the Marine Corps Marathon a budget shortfall of somewhere between ing themselves for a difficult budget year the marathon’s runners. began at Arlington Cemetery. $80 to $100 million. that is expected to include service cutbacks “This is a budget gap that’s unprecedented See Low-Revenue, Page 10 A Night To Decide D.C.’s Funniest Feds edy. And with 300,000 federal employees Government workers by day, stand-up comedians by night. between D.C., Maryland and Virginia, she was confident the talent was there. “It took By Delia Sava a good seat for the show. Several of the six remark, “Oh, a lovely group of civil ser- me a long time to get up the courage to do The Connection contestants are here with family members, vants.” The San Francisco-based comedian it … it’s a big financial risk.” In 2007 friends and coworkers. Before the show be- said, “My comedy is for people who read or Johnson who works for the Department of ohn Quirk said he was absolutely ter- gins, the movie screen dis- know someone who does,” Homeland Security did the first contest and Jrified his first time. “I still couldn’t plays the photos and names of adding “I like D.C. because of sold out. tell you what I said that night. I was the comedians and the agen- Facebook: what I do.” This is the second time Johnson has pro- blinded by the spotlight and vaguely re- cies they work for in the fed- Producer Naomi Johnson duced the event. One major change is that member hearing chuckles emerging from eral government. The mood is “a Google map came up with the concept in there are two winners. “Novice comics were the darkness.” The stand-up comedian has festive and the beer is flow- 2003 while she was working getting squashed out by comics with more gotten past his fear. He is at the Arlington ing. for stalkers.” for the State Department. experience so I redesigned this year so we’d Cinema ‘N’ Drafthouse to perform in front Veteran political satirist Will — John Quirk “People were always so ex- have a novice winner and an experienced of a sold-out room in the Finals of D.C.’s Durst warms up the audience cited when they found out winner.” It was important for Johnson to Funniest Fed contest. and acts as the emcee. When he asks for a that I did stand-up,” said Johnson. The Al- make it fair for the newer comics. “If they The doors open at 6:30 p.m. and the com- show of hands to see who works for the fed- exandria resident who has had a life-long have the courage to try … we should give bination club/movie theater begins to fill eral government, not surprisingly, about love of comedy suspected there was an au- with a diverse adult crowd wanting to get half the hands go up, prompting Durst to dience that would enjoy smart, clean com- See D.C.’s Funniest Feds, Page 4 www.ConnectionNewspapers.com Arlington Connection ❖ October 28 - November 3, 2009 ❖ 3 News D.C.’s Funniest Feds From Page 3 them a chance,” she said. Doug Hecox started doing stand-up as a way to meet women while he was at the University of Wyoming. The D.C. resident jokes that he’s now “too old for cougars and too young to be a sugar daddy.” When he’s not working at F.H.W.A. or telling jokes, Hecox teaches journalism at American Uni- versity. In his set he noted, “People in Balti- by Photo more hate being called Baltimorons … I really feel sorry for people in Tampa.” Shahryar Rizvi works for the U.S. Cen- Halina Izdebska sus. The Laurel, Md. resident was encour- aged to enter a comedy contest in college; he performed in front of 800 people and won third place. “I come from a far away place. We don’t have surprise birthday par- ties. We have surprise weddings. Surprise, surprise, this is your wife.” John Quirk of Arlington won in the Jeff Maurer of Vienna did so badly the novice category. first time he performed for an audience, “my hand was literally shaking.” The E.P.A. em- Smithsonian employee who is new to com- ployee joked about the tricks men use to edy took a class at the D.C. Improv to help cover up pre-mature baldness and observed, ease him into the scary transition of per- “If the guy is 20 and bald, let the guy have forming on stage and said he gets his mate- a drink.” rial everywhere: “If God wants to leave “It’s easy to tell a joke at a party,” said Kevin Blackerby of Hyattsville, Md. The See Comedians, Page 7 4 ❖ Arlington Connection ❖ October 28 - November 3, 2009 www.ConnectionNewspapers.com Bulletin Board Know of something missing from the Free. Features Thom Robertson, community calendar? E-mail it to organist. At Grace Episcopal Church, [email protected]. 3601 Russell Road (corner of W. Deadline is 2 p.m. the Thursday before Glebe), Alexandria. 703-549-1980 publication. For more volunteer opportu- nities, classes, announcements visit NOV. 2-3 www.arlingtonconnection.com and click 703-534-4477 on Community. Information Evening/Observation Morning. Monday at 7:30 p.m. Introduces… Tuesday at 9 a.m. Classes for 2 years SUNDAY/NOV. 1 old through the early grades. At Potomac Crescent Waldorf School, Race for a Cause. 8 a.m. Acumen 923 S. 23rd Street, Arlington. Go to Solutions, a leading business and www.PotomacCrescentSchool.org.