A Story I Have Lived So Long to Make’ Is an Extract from a Writing Featured Within This Book Submitted by Lily Keenan, a Resident of Ballard Lodge, Co Laois

A story “I have lived so long to make” TITLE ‘A story I have lived so long to make’ is an extract from a writing featured within this book submitted by Lily Keenan, a resident of Ballard Lodge, Co Laois.

PRODUCTION This collection of writings has been compiled by Nursing Homes Ireland.

The collection has been compiled and edited by Michael McGlynn, NHI Communications & Research Executive, and Andrew Rennie, NHI Communications & Research Assistant

Nursing Homes Ireland 2051 Castle Drive, Citywest, Dublin 24, D24 K299

[email protected] www.nhi.ie Welcome to ‘A story I have lived so long to make’, a remarkable collection of writings from nursing home residents. Nursing homes are home to some of the most remarkable and wonderful people in Irish society. Our Members consider it a great privilege to share so much of their lives with these people and to provide them with exceptional care. Residents within our nursing homes are truly inspirational. They share with us great knowledge, wisdom, advice, humility and life experience. Great characters and people live in our nursing homes. Residents have great humour, are great storytellers, provide exceptional friendship. The excellent care provided by outstanding staff in nursing homes is committed to enhancing the lives of residents. They continue to enjoy their favourite past-times and embrace new interests. They sing and dance, create arts and crafts works, enjoy games, watch movies, participate in a range of physical activities, gardening, reminisce, engage in writing and art workshops. In Spring 2018, Nursing Homes Ireland undertook this special initiative to provide some insight into the talents possessed by nursing home residents. We asked Members to engage with residents to assist us in compiling a special collection of writings. ‘Positivity’ was the general theme presented. The theme provided the writers with an opportunity to offer positive reflections on day-to-day life, times past, times present. We are struck by the day- to-day positivity of residents within our nursing homes. ‘A story I have lived so long to make’ brings together a unique collection of writings. Our oldest contributor is 104 years of age. The writings encompass positive reflections of life past and present. Special childhood memories are recalled. We read of life in Ireland and abroad. The importance of education, active living, faith and appreciating what you have are presented. Honesty, humour, happiness, sadness, faith, friendship and love are common strands within the writings. It is apt that the title of this collection comes from a writing presented by one of our contributors, Lily Keenan, a resident of Ballard Lodge in Co Laois. Over 80 residents contributed to ‘A story I have lived so long to make’. We thank you all for making this such a special collection of writings. We also thank the staff who supported the residents in bringing the writings together. Enjoy this very unique and special collection of writings. Michael McGlynn Michael McGlynn Nursing Homes Ireland Communications & Research Executive ‘Tai chi & reminiscing of times past’

Mary Glynn and Aggie Walsh are new entrants to the centenarian club, having both turned 100 in 2018. They have both become great friends since moving to Blake Manor Nursing Home, Co. Galway. Norah Ginty, Activities Coordinator in the Kilcolgan-based nursing home, spoke with Mary and Aggie about what they see as the positives of the life they lead and what advice they would impart to younger generations.

Mary and Aggie embrace every opportunity presented to talk about the Ireland of the past and have developed a wonderful friendship within Blake Manor. "I never really realised I was growing older; it was something that just happened,” Mary explains. “I never celebrated birthdays.” These inspiring ladies have experienced two world wars, the great depression and reared their families from the 1940s upwards. During the forties and the decades after, both ladies lived simple, hard-working lives, raising their children. They bring a positive outlook to life and are very appreciative of a home and new way of living based upon the principles of attentive care, support and friendship. "The great thing here is you are you are aided at any time of the day and night - getting dressed and ready for the day and winding down at night,” Mary states. “Assistance is as Aggie adds: "I know if I was at much or as little as a person needs.” home I'd be wondering if I was safe; here I know I am. The security "We have built great friendships here," of nursing homes is great." she continues. "I never knew Aggie before we met a year-and-a-half ago. The discussion returns to the Our children knew of each other alright. comfort of nursing home living. I’ve found a great friend in her and "We do the rosary here during the other residents within Blake Manor.” week with the activities coordinator Aggie adds: "For as long as we shall and watch movies of days gone by,” have each other it's great. When we Mary tells. “We watched a film about got to know each other and realised Galway during the Easter Rising last we had the same outlook on life week and even knew some of the it was great and reassuring." peoples’ names. Classes in the nursing home include Tai Chi, Mindfulness, "We look out for each and light exercises. There are great other." Mary affirms. options for us to choose from when The talk turns to the generations we feel like doing so and these following them. open up new opportunities for us.” "Advice for younger people?” "I always think of poems and readings Mary considers. “Always use we learnt in school and get great your manners. Try to be obliging enjoyment from reading them out,” to others and peaceful.” Aggie states. “We sometimes do that Aggie adds: "The saying 'forgive after the rosary. ‘Old Woman of the and forget' is great; there's no use Roads’ (by Padraic Colum) is one holding onto issues. If someone I can think of, although it's hard to doesn't like you, let it be." remember all the words all of the time. ‘The Farmer’s Boy’ is another. They welcome the social inclusivity They remind me of days gone by.” of life in a nursing home and the constant opportunity it presents to “She’s great to remember everything,” see and chat with people of similar says Mary, “I couldn’t ever do that.” interests. Security also provides them “I am not at all great,” replies Aggie. The with comfort and reassurance. two ladies smile and continue to share "Things have changed from when memories and the great company we were younger,” Mary comments. and companionship of each other. “Everyone left their doors unlocked back then and looked out for each other, day and night. It's not the same now. You regularly hear of burglars in peoples’ homes; we know we are safe and looked after here."

Mary Glynn (top) & Aggie Walsh (botttom) ‘Keep busy in the community’

Áine Uí Mhathuna is an incredible 102 years-of-age and a resident of Marymount Care Centre in Westmanstown, Co. Dublin. She advises people to be positively involved within their local community and to recognise there are always people in a worse position than you. She continues to live positively, enjoying outings to places such as the National Concert Hall and Croke Park.

I never thought I’d reach in community events fills me with pride. the age of 102; I never really Hopefully we’ll win more this year! thought about age at all. Living in Marymount also means I can I grew up in Portobello Harbour enjoy lots of visits to my family in their with my mother, my younger sister homes and having four generations and my aunt, as my father died to visit gives me plenty of options. when I was young. I suppose there They are important to me; family is “was always very positive female important, they make me truly happy. “ role models for me during my life. My philosophy of life, if you can Fortunately, I have had a good life, call it that, is to enjoy everything a happy one and was very lucky in moderation. Keep busy in the to have had a wonderful husband, community and with your family and Lúghaidh; he really was the best. always remember that there is always It was because I wanted to maintain my someone much worse off than you. independence that I chose to move to For me, the Irish Countrywomen’s Marymount Care Centre. I can continue Association was a great way of being with my hobbies which now include positively involved in the community knitting, baking, bingo, quiz evenings, and to meet various people. I was also crafts and exercise groups. I can also a voluntary hospital visitor with the ICA. get my hair done and go on outings A group of us would visit patients to to places like Croke Park and The speak with them and provide them National Concert Hall with the other with magazines. Visiting those patients residents, staff and family members. helped me appreciate how lucky I was. Being able to tell my family about winning prizes with our knitting group ” ‘The joy of sharing memories & a story I’ve lived so long to make’

Lily Keenan’s fondest memories from her 86 years of life include ballroom dances, watching children grow into adults and meeting the love of her life. Lily smiles every night as she looks back on and remembers times past. Now she shares memories with her fellow nursing home residents in Ballard Lodge, Co. Laois.

During my 86 years in this world I and I think to myself ‘it is truly better to have had many experiences. I’ve lived have been born lucky rather than rich’. through World War II, seen Ireland I share all these memories with my become a Republic and witnessed fellow residents in Ballard Lodge a man walk on the moon. These are Nursing Home, where I have been living great and momentous events but the past two years. And they share they are not my fondest memories. their stories with me. We laugh about In fact, I don’t remember them very the days of our youth, the dances, the well at all! My fond memories are of “ romance, the music and the work. How more simple events and joys in life. we didn’t have much but more than I remember coming home from ballroom we could ever need. How our children dancing with a group of my friends, were angels but also the devil himself. laughing and singing all through the It’s nice to have people around who night. I remember meeting the love of understand where you come from and my life, John, and the days he would ask the luxuries of the past that are now me to go out with him. I remember the taken for granted. This is what being day I finally said yes. I remember the in a nursing home allows me to do. It births of all ten of our beautiful children lets me share my story with people and watching them grow into wonderful who care and allows me to make new adults. I remember looking after my friends through old experiences. It also countless grandchildren and spoiling lets me watch my children grow and them rotten. These are the memories I see them make their own memories to cherish and hold close to my heart. look back on someday. I’m very grateful I lie back every night, relax in my bed for not only being in Ballard Lodge but and look at the photos of the days also for being alive, so I can tell my that have passed. Every time a smile story that I have lived so long to make. ” seems to sprout up across my face ” ‘Be open to new experiences’

Maureen Fitzgerald, Oliver Halton and Mary McGuire are residents of St. Elizabeth’s Nursing Home in Athboy, Co. Meath. Mary is 92-years- of-age, Maureen is 78, and Oliver is 81. Over an afternoon discussion they speak about being grateful for trying new things, the importance of having a positive outlook on life, and sneaking into a travelling picture show to watch a Charlie Chaplin film.

Maureen and Oliver discuss the activities on offer within the nursing home and how they try to take part in everything. Oliver, whose favourite song is ‘Molly Malone’, comments: “I like to take part in all activities that are going. I like music and singing, especially. I also enjoyed the writing group that we had”. Maureen adds: “We have lots of games and activities here. One of our nurses, Dave, comes in to play music and sing every week and we get to dance. I like to Waltz.” “I am grateful to be able to get up every morning and make the most of my day,” Oliver remarks. “My advice to young people would be to enjoy life and try to be happy”. Maureen is in agreement. “My advice to the younger generation is to try and stay happy!” “The most positive thing in life is being involved in it and being open to new experiences,” Mary states. “That would be my advice to young people”. She reminisces about some of the new experiences she enjoyed during her lifetime. “The first time I went to the cinema I remember very fondly - a travelling picture show came to the village. There was a screen in the front, lots of chairs placed in rows and a projector with two reels in the back. The admittance fee for a child was six pence. We had to sneak around to the front and sit on the floor. These were the premier seats! They showed a black and white Charlie Chaplin film. It was silent but there was lots of action and clowning Mary McGuire (top left) Oliver Halton (top right) & around. I thought it was hilarious. It was my first visit to Maureen Fitzgerald (bottom) a ‘picture show’ and we laughed all the way through it”. “I have always been very active and very lucky. I am still very lucky that I’m still ‘All that active at the age of 97” Patrick states. “I would say to young people always try to save a few bob as you never know shines when you will need it, but money is not everything. Doing something good for is not someone can make you very happy.” “There are lots of things that are good about being older,” Etna reflects. silver’ “I have more time to do the things that are fun, time to learn how to do new crafts and time to practice.” Brigid ‘Bee’ Killane, Etna “When I was young I wanted to have O’Rourke and Patrick the same clothes as everyone else,” Bee Melinn are residents of recalls. “Now I am happy to wear what Retreat Nursing Home in I have. I had a lovely, happy childhood with a great Mammy and Daddy. Daddy Athlone, Co. Westmeath. taking us for a ride on the pony and Patrick, 97, offers some trap is one of my favourite childhood sage advice to young memories. ‘All that shines is not silver’ people. Etna, 88, tells of is an important saying for me; always the positivity in growing look below the surface. I am very happy old and Bee, 95, recalls to be spending my days in this lovely nursing home. I sleep better here than childhood, family and I ever slept at home because there is speaks of life presently. always someone around if I need help and there is always someone to talk to. The best part of living here is the live Bridget Killane (left), Etna O’Rourke (middle) music and singing in the afternoon. & Patrick Melinn (right) Being older can be a very happy time”. ‘Look good & embrace social activities’

Roscommon and Mayo natives Anne Rattigan and Anne Gilligan are residents of Central Park Nursing Home in Co. Galway. The former hails from a small village called Moigh, a few miles from Cloonfard in The Rossies county, and is 85 years-of-age. She says her inspiration and positive nature stems from a close family unit and the influence of community. She believes a key ethos in life is to share and care for each other. Anne Gilligan is from the townland of Ballyroe, in the parish of Knock. The 80-year-old is proactive within the nursing home, assisting staff with day-to-day routines such as collecting cups and tidying. She is a volunteer within the home’s Sonas Group, where her positive energy supports fellow residents in participating in therapeutic activity. Rois McDonagh, recreation director at the Clonbern-based nursing home, sat with the two ladies to discuss their positive life influences and outlook.

Anne Gilligan (left) Anne Rattigan (right) “My mother, she was the most positive What helps ‘enforce’ their positive person and also head of the house; outlook on life? “I enjoy pampering my father was a quiet man,” Anne and looking nice,” Anne Rattigan states. Rattigan recalls. “My mother would “My appearance is important. My always tell me: Do the best you can parents always ensured that we all had with your life. My mother gave me something nice to wear. I remember confidence. I enjoy my life. I don’t my Aunt Norah. She was a dressmaker feel old. I can’t believe the amount of and made all our clothes. My favourite years that have passed; I have seen was a red coat that she made for so many changes. Life wasn’t easy me. If you look good, you feel good.” back in the day when I was growing Appearance is also an essential for up, but we had good neighbours Anne Gilligan. “I am very proud of my and we all helped each other. I have appearance. I like to look nice and six children, two girls and four boys, visit the hairdresser weekly. I do a lot I have reared a good family who are of walking and keep fit with dancing.” all so kind and caring towards me. My ten grandchildren and four great Circumstances change in life and both grandchildren keep me feeling young. I are now living in a nursing home. They love to see them and hear their news.” retain their positive life outlook. “It is important to emphasise I live in Central Her fellow resident Anne Gilligan also Park Nursing Home,” Anne Rattigan emphasises the importance of family explains. “When I first came to here I in embracing positive living and points did feel very lonely because I feared to the importance of social activity. “I the future and how was I going to am quite happy at my age and I have get through it. However, after a short no fears of growing old. I am happiest while my attitude changed because keeping in touch with my family, friends everyone here - staff and residents - and neighbours. My parents were way were so kind to me and helpful. I no ahead of their time. My mother was longer fear the future. I am quite happy an only child born in New York and and content and I don’t worry about my father was from a very large family the future because I feel safe. I look of 14. My mother was my inspiration. forward to every day at Central Park. I taught my eight children to have There is always something different to good values and morals. Today I am look forward to. I love the community so proud of each and every one of band and local schools visiting.” them. My children keep me positive.” Anne Gilligan emphasises the sense of “I dance, which I dearly love. I used freedom she retains within the nursing to help run a club in Kilkerrin for the home. “I have the freedom to do what elderly, for both men and women. We I want. There are many interests I can would play cards and we danced, pursue. I like to play the bingo and card sang songs - those of us that could. games, going for walks and getting We loved to sing the old Irish songs. my hair done. I also socialise with My favourite song is ‘Home to Mayo’ my new friends that I have met here as Knock is my home town and it’s a very special place to me”. and I enjoy their company. We do a may bring. Today is all we have. lot together and share our life stories. Deal with problems when they arise I also like the exercise classes and and don’t waste any time dwelling Sonas Group. There is great variety to and worrying before it happens.” life here in the nursing home. There is “I have seen technology move always bands and musicians visiting forward - so many gadgets and mobile the home. I will always go where the phones,” Anne Gilligan comments. “I music is and get up for a dance.” ask all my children to hand over their The conversation turns to times present mobile phones when they come to and the sage advice these ladies with visit. I have a special table for all the eight decades of living would offer to the phones and gadgets, sometimes I younger generations. “There is a big pretend to count the phones and will difference in my youth and comparing say ‘there is one missing’ and sure it to my children and grandchildren’s enough one of my children will hand it youth,” Anne Rattigan observes. “Life over. The reason I do this is to ensure is faster paced today with a lot of that they all talk to each other and to pressures and expectations. Slow me. Be good to people and help them down and enjoy what you have at when they need it. And follow your this moment and appreciate it. Live passion. For me it’s been dancing and in the moment. Yesterday is gone I continue to embrace this passion. and we don’t know what tomorrow It all helps in living life positively.”

‘I live in a happy house’

There are a relatively small number of people availing of nursing home care that are not the traditional ‘old’ people that rely upon our nursing homes for the 24/7 care they specialise in providing. Ger Dolan is a 50-year-old resident of Sonas Moyridge in Ballina, Co. Mayo.

When I first arrived here I was very scared because I didn’t know many people in Ballina as I’d lived in Scotland for many years where I worked as a chef. I was nervous when I first came into the home as I thought of it as an ‘old folks home’ and I thought I would be with people my parents age. I was 47 when I came here. However, I now love living here. The staff and I have become such great friends and we have a lot of fun and craic together. I am treated so respectfully, and this allows me to be myself with everyone and “to be happy. I don't live in an ‘old folks home’. I live in a fun, happy house. ” The Exhibition

We have had a great exhibition, of articles used long ago There was such a collection, some of their uses we didn’t know. There was photos and papers and a camera, some people had ne’er seen the like A wash tub and wash board and soap, and also a High Nelly Bike. A metal crane for the open fire, to hang the pots when cooking And a basket of turf at the side, in case the fire needs stoking.

There was a gadget there to hold tea leaves before we had tea bags And a silver box to catch the ash that fell from cigars and fags. A small tool there to take shells off eggs and small bars to hold knives on the table. Sewing machines, old phones and a storm lamp for night work in the stable. There was a hot water bottle, a carbide lamp and money and jewellery too. An old weighing scales, some old delph and a very old horse shoe.

Well just now that’s all I remember, though I know there was more bric-a-brac Oh something has come to my memory, there was also a large sugar sack. The party after was wonderful, it was something else to behold The music and singing and laughter, where the young people danced with the old.

So thanks to the staff at Parke House, from the bottom right up to the top For the care and attention they give us, with most of us needing a prop. To Leeanne and Patricia and Emer, and helpers whose names I don’t know I’ll just say thanks and God bless you, for putting on such a wonderful show.

Patsy O’Reilly is a 94-year-old resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare. He is a relative newcomer to writing poetry, having only written his first poem in July 2017 for an exhibition in the nursing home. His works are rekindling an old family passion. Patsy’s father used to write a lot of poetry. Patsy is a native of Slane, Co. Meath, but moved to Dublin in 1947, where he lived most of his life. For me, the positivity of growing old comes having a positive outlook on ‘Set goals life and good health. All through my life, I have always been ambitious and would have set goals for myself & work and worked hard to achieve them. This I believe gave me the ability to “study and qualify as a primary school hard to teacher, something that my family were very proud to see me achieve. achieve The advice I would pass on to the readers or younger generation is advice I received myself from our local them’ priest. That was “to always aim for the highest and you may probably achieve just below”. Or the age old saying “aim for the sky and you will reach the Margaret Quinn has always set stars” is always good to have in mind. goals for herself and worked hard The positivity of my life at present to achieve them. The 90-year-old is that the nursing home is a resident of Craddock House, Co. home away from home for me. The companionship, security and support Kildare, advises readers to aim give me a great sense of comfort, for the highest. particularly when I feel unwell. “

Margaret cites the poem ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling as inspirational, citing this particular verse:” If you can dream but not let those dreams cloud your reason, If you can think but still take action, If you can deal with both triumph and disaster, If you can handle it when others twist your truths into lies, or take the things you devoted your life to and turn them from broken into alive again ‘Embrace change & live life to the fullest’

John O’Grady is 73 years-of-age and has been a resident of Padre Pio Nursing Home in Holycross, just outside Thurles, Co. Tipperary for the last 15 years. He writes of moving into a nursing home at a relatively young age and how his perception of living in nursing home care has changed as a result of the great care he has received.

A lot of people are under the illusion going on each day. We get to go that all residents do in nursing homes on many outings together, music is sit in a chair all day, but in Padre concerts, GAA matches, historical Pio this is certainly not the case. I tours and many more things also. am involved in so many different When I became ill I was quite young, things and I have achieved so much so when I ended up in a nursing home. which I know I would never have I had my doubts as you can probably “done if I wasn’t a resident here. imagine. I can honestly say though I am really well cared for and the that becoming ill has now been turned staff here I would class as my family. into a positive! I am surrounded with I can talk to them about anything. my family and friends everyday. I have beautiful food served up to So for me, growing old in a nursing me everyday so, in fairness, how home has become the best and most could you ask for much more? positive aspect of my life. I would not I am the chairperson of the residents’ change one thing about the past 15 council committee and our voices years of my life in Padre Pio. Don’t are always listened to. Any problem ever fear the unknown, just embrace that occurs I am confident that I it. In Padre Pio we live every day to can go to Lucie, the matron, and the fullest. I wake up with a smile she can sort it out for me. on my face and I go to bed with a smile on my face. I really don’t think I read the daily newspaper so life can get more positive than that. I’m kept well-informed of what’s ” ‘I will survive’

Rosaleen Gorman, Jacinta Conroy, Eileen Gavigan and Martin O’Neill are residents of TLC in Citywest, Co. Dublin. Rosaleen is 79 years-of- age and is enjoying life at a relaxed pace. ‘What a Wonderful World’ and ‘I will Survive’ are two “The positivity of growing old and living songs that inspire her. a long life for me has been seeing 68-year-old Jacinta is also my family extending, from children to inspired by music, from grandchildren and then on to great- Elvis Presley to Westlife, it grandchildren,” Rosaleen explains. “You also get to enjoy life at a relaxed changes the way she views pace. I have two particularly happy the world. She advises our memories from my lifetime. The first younger generations to was my wedding day on 29th May speak their mind. Eileen 1959. I married the man of my dreams, established a playschool my childhood sweetheart Sydney. We in her 40s and says the met when I was 13 and he was 15. He was my first boyfriend. I am so glad children offered her a new we met and fell in love so young as way of observing life. She he sadly passed away suddenly at embraces her creative side the age of 32, so we still got to spend through participation in a good few happy years together. pottery and art classes. The second particular memory is the 86-year-old Martin advises birth of my first grandchild Leonie who is now 33. I wasn’t as stressed young people to participate as I was with my own children and I in sport everyday to keep had more knowledge to pass on.” fit and speaks of the joy Jacinta attributes her positive attitude his 13 grandchildren to her happy childhood. “My whole bring to him. life I have lived with great positivity because of the great start I had in playschool at home and I really enjoyed life. I worked in a charity shop for the years I spent running it. With their five years and then started working innocence, those children brought me with my Dad printing books. I met a new way of observing life. In a way my husband at 22 and we had two they showed me what was important”. children together, my daughter Valerie Martin offers his thoughts. “I now have and my son Mark. I was very happy 13 fabulous grandchildren who I love when my first grandchild Liam was and adore. They give me great joy to born. I have three other grandchildren still be here for them everyday. My and I love them all very much”. wife Maureen is a lovely lady. I still Happy memories generate great keep our first photograph together, happiness for Jacinta and she looks which is so precious to me. I love back upon them with great pride. “I golf and football and I like reading have always had a happy life. My the newspaper. One of my happiest daughter having a baby boy is a memories is going away on a cruise particular happy memory. I love when ship on holidays, just my wife and he comes to visit and gives me a myself. I thoroughly enjoyed being big hug; it makes me so happy. The away with her and reminiscing on the positivity of growing old and living a wonderful life we had together. The long life comes from being able to cruise ship was called ‘The Emerald’ spend time with my daughter and and one of the nights we had dinner seeing my beautiful grandkids growing with the captain. I remember him up. My positive life experiences are asking where we were from and raising both of my children and being when I told him ‘The Emerald Isle’ he able to be a part of my children’s lives.” thought this was highly amusing as he was captain of ‘The Emerald’”. “For me, the positivity of growing old and living a long and happy Rosaleen speaks of life presently. “I life is looking back at your own life feel like TLC in Citywest is my second achievements with a smile and being home. Everybody is so good and happy with them,” says Eileen. She caring towards me. I feel very safe here. agrees that the joy of seeing her I can relax more now that I’m here; the children and grandchildren growing up security that I feel is fantastic. When I is something that brings her a particular came first I didn’t like to come out of sense of pride. She also explains that my room at all, but with encouragement another achievement that the she can and support I now go to activities and look back on positively is studying for have overcome my shyness. I really and acquiring her Montessori diploma enjoy them and I have also made in her 40s. “My children were young a lot of new friends through this”. and I stopped working as that was Eileen provides her thoughts. “Now the custom at the time. I wanted to do that I am living in the nursing home I something positive with my life and I am enjoying good health and good came to a decision, with the support of care. I have made many new friends my husband, to do this. I set up my own in my time living here. I especially love to is ‘always have respect and listen being able to embrace my creative to everybody’. Remember that no side with the pottery and art classes. matter what happens in your life that The security is brilliant also and I love there is always someone less off”. the feeling that I’m never alone”. “To live positively you should always Jacinta reemphasises the importance look out for your family no matter what of a positive outlook. “Since living in and be thankful for each day as it the nursing home, I feel the best thing I comes,” Rosaleen says. “My one line could do is smile. If you smile at people, of wisdom that was passed to me from they will smile back. It’s one way of my own Mother was ‘never go to sleep how we can interact with one another on an argument’. I fully believe this. as life can be hard. If you do your Life is too short and you never know best to get on it will be a better life”. what tomorrow will bring. There are two songs that I feel offer good advice Martin advocates being fit and active and help me to remain positive when is a great way to maintain a positive I need a little help. ‘What A Wonderful outlook. “The advice I would offer World’ (by Louis Armstrong) just says to people looking to live a positive it all to me and reminds me of what I life would be: be happy, don’t hold do have. The second is ‘I Will Survive’ grudges and partake in sport every (by Gloria Gaynor). This reminds me day to keep fit. I’ve always liked to of exactly how strong I have been in relax to music to help me unwind. I my lifetime and that I did survive and still like to do this every day here in came out happy and positive again.” TLC.” He underlines the importance of family to the younger generation. Eileen offers the final thoughts. “The “A piece of advice I would like to proverb ‘the grass isn’t always greener offer would be to enjoy your family on the other side’ is a particular and be around them as much as you favourite saying of mine. It makes me can. Family is everything. There are a think about what I have done and not few sayings that I choose to live my about what I might have done. The life positively by and these are my book I love reading and always have favourite quotes: ‘live each day as it done is The Bible. I find it brings me comes’ and ‘live life to the fullest’”. comfort and answers and it makes me think about things in a more positive “Music is my soul,” Jacinta offers. “I light. The greatest words of wisdom am always listening to music; from I can offer are to be positive and Elvis Presley to Westlife, all music just always think ahead. The best advice changes the way I view the world I can offer to anyone with regard to depending on the songs or what living life positively is to start the day mood I’m in. Words of wisdom I have with a smile. Aim to keep it there.” for younger generations would be to always speak your mind. Have respect for others because if you want to gain respect, you must give Eileen Gavigan (top left), Martin O’Neill (top right), it in return. The one thing I live my life Jacinta Conroy (bottom left) & Rosaleen Gorman (bottom right) ‘Life is what you make of it’

94-year-old Peggie Ryan and 96-year-old James Fitzpatrick are residents of Droimnin Nursing Home in Stradbally, Co. Laois. Peggie, from Laois originally, was one of ten children. She married her husband William Ryan in 1952 and they raised their nine children together in Killabban Maganey. James, who turns 97 on “the first day of hay making in July”, hails from Spink and abides by the mantra ‘growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional’. He lives in Droimnin with his wife Teresa, something which he is very grateful for. Peggie and James recount stories from their lives which allow them to look back fondly and stay positive. Both Peggie and James emanate an infectious positivity that is clearly evident when they speak about their lives and in offering advice to young people making their way today. “I have very happy memories of my Peggie speaks about how her childhood and I loved going to school apprehensions of nursing home life in Barrowhouse,” Peggie begins. “My were allayed. “I was living alone in our principle subjects were Irish and home as all our children had moved Maths – I could write pages and pages away and were married with their own for an Irish composition, but not so families. I have always made sure to much for an English one! We had a keep out of their business, as I wanted busy house but not one of our children them to live their own lives. I wasn’t ever gave me a spot of trouble – isn’t afraid of living alone but it was lonely, that a great thing to be able to say!” and one day I thought ‘how long more can I stay here by myself?’ I suppose I “I might tog out for the under-21 was concerned about what the future football team this summer!” jokes might hold for me. So I spoke to my James, who asserts that he doesn’t feel daughter, Dympna, about my fears and old at all. When asked to what does he I asked her to ‘check out’ Droimnin for attribute his maintained youthfulness, me. She called in to have a chat and he replies: “I think I owe living this a look around and reported back to long and being in great form to all me with the words ‘Mam, you’ll love it.’ that fresh air up in Spink where I was What better recommendation than from born and reared. I have a good faith. my own daughter who knew exactly I was 47 years collecting money at what I was looking for. People ask if I Spink church and never missed an have regrets about leaving home and Easter Sunday or Christmas morning.” honestly it never enters my head.” James recalls fond memories and how “The staff are lovely, the nurses and he met his wife Teresa, who joined him carers look after me, my meals are in Droimnin shortly after he arrived. cooked and my room is cleaned. “The best memories I have are going Haven’t I done enough cooking to all the dance halls. I’m an honest and cleaning in my life so it’s great auld lad, never stole or anything like that that’s all done here for me now. that. I did go with a few women - sure I have everything I need here and that’s only natural I suppose. Some let there’s always plenty of tea. I enjoy me down and sure I let more down,” participating in the activities on offer. he adds light-heartedly. “They were Activities aren’t easy to organise and grand auld times; then I met Teresa. they are here for our benefit, so I do The local bar were hiring someone to like to join in as often as I can. My work, we were all out thrashing and favourite activity is the ‘Card Bingo’, there was a dance after it. Everyone but I’m a bit embarrassed because I was talking of this new barmaid and win so often – sure it’s all a bit of fun”. wondering what she was going to be like. I passed no remark on her at James adds: “I’m enjoying life every first but sure I suppose I must have day in the nursing home, having a grown to like her. I asked her out one gallery, playing skittles and bingo, day and we are still saying the rosary telling old yarns I heard on the wireless together each night 50 years later”. years ago; sure the staff love listening to them. The family are always in and sure it’s great to see the grandkids growing up. I’m keeping myself young by enjoying every day the best that I can. I doubt I’ll ever feel old!” Their advice for the young people of today? “I’ll tell the young ones today, make the best you can out of your life,” James responds. “Enjoy it and don’t be letting anything worry you at all; sure look at me, I’m in my 97th year and I could be worrying A Natural about my age but what’s the point? God can take you at any time so we might as well enjoy Turn it. Keep an eye on your love, if you have found him or her keep a hold of them. Hold on tight and don’t let them slip away.” Believe that hares can see the wind, Peggie offers: “The one piece Eddy swirl and blow. of advice I’ve always given to What we reflect or reason, my own children is ‘life is what you can make it’ and I suppose Their nature is to know. that would be my motto. I like to Where swans kick the water, enjoy life and go with the flow. And, brown eyed heifers stare. Every person has decisions to make, whether you go to the left The fecund wind that drones and turns, or the right that’s down to you. I Is watched by the lissom hare. like to think that I see the positive Only thinking of you in my arms, side in things and hopefully bring out the positive in people I am bold enough to declare. that are around me also.” I see in this woman the teeth of the wind, That is stabbed in the air.

By Ernest Bates, a resident of

James Fitzpatrick (left) St. Martha’s Nursing Home, Peggy Ryan (right) Cahir, Co. Tipperary. ‘Stay humble & be thankful for what you have’

The two Carmels, Carmel O’Keefe and Carmel Costigan, came together in TLC Straffan to discuss the importance of family in creating positivity within your life. Their reflections consider the positivity absorbed from changes in the lives of loved ones. They also provide thoughts on nursing home life. Carmel O’Keefe is 84-years-of-age and Carmel Costigan 80 years.

“The positive of living a long life is that growing in life with my partner and our you get to spend plenty of time with family. We got to travel together a lot the ones you love”, declares Carmel as a family right up until the children O’Keefe. “I’ve lived a very happy life were 18. Once our children had grown with my husband and we’ve seen up my husband and I continued to our family that we’ve made grow up travel together and really enjoyed each and do well for themselves and build other’s company. We got engaged at families of their own. My husband 18 and had a lot planned together. and I have done lots of travelling and We saved together to get our own achieved many things in life. We spent home and then got married. A year a lot of our lives together, as we met later we had our first child and then when we were young, and we’ve we had our son two years after that”. been through everything together. With positivity in life stemming from We’ve been to big golf tournaments close family togetherness, Carmel in many different countries and I discusses positive life experiences have always supported him”. which came from spending time Carmel Costigan also asserts that her with her family. “A great positive life positive life outlook stems from a long experience for me was watching my and happy life with her family. “I have husband turning his love for fishing two children, one girl and one boy. into a business of his own. He was Both are living here in Ireland and visit a butcher before that and he didn’t me every day. For me, the positive of really like it. It was lovely to be a part growing old and living a long life is of a new beginning in his life. It was also great being there as my daughter enjoy getting old together, loving went through education and got into life and enjoying each other.” college. She really worked hard for Carmel Costigan shares a similar everything to get where she wanted outlook. “If we’re going to be honest, to be in life. I supported my son it’s never easy leaving your home to as he pursued an apprenticeship start living in a nursing home. It’s not in something that he loved.” easy for your family members either Her fellow resident Carmel O’Keefe but living here is easier on me knowing also shares memories she made with that there is always someone around her family and regards them as being to look after me 24 hours of the day. the most positive experiences in her life, When I need someone I only have recounting some of the most positive to press a button and someone is that stand out to her. “My most positive there. I am so well looked after by staff. life experiences would definitely be At home I just wouldn’t have that.” travelling to different countries with Carmel O’Keefe offers advice and my husband, building a life and family words of wisdom that embody the with him also. We have five children, positive, family-driven outlook she two boys and three girls. Two live in has carried through life. “If I had any Spain and one lives in England. My advice to offer with regard to living a daughter here in Ireland spends a lot positive life it would be to take care of of time with us as my husband has yourself, your partner and your family. recently come to stay with me here. I Focus on what’s important in life. I really enjoyed watching my husband would tell the younger generation to compete in golf competitions and stay humble and always be thankful supporting him. I also loved taking for what you have and focus on that, care of my husband and his friends rather than focussing on what you don’t when they had card game nights as I have. Look after your family because would treat them to food and drinks”. family is everything. They will always “I’ve competed in tournaments myself be there for you no matter what.” for shooting and I’ve received gold, Carmel Costigan re-emphasises the silver and bronze medals. I even importance of family. “Think hard once beat a soldier. Another memory about your life choices and the I hold dear is the dances that my partner you’re going to go through husband and I attended when we were life and build a family with. Some young, as that’s how we first met.” sage advice with regards to living “The positives of living in a nursing positively would be to always make home are that I am able to enjoy sure you talk about things rather than these years with my husband. We do things in the spur of the moment. are able to have lunch together Always set out a plan and agree on it”. and enjoy each other now that our children have all grown up and have their own lives. We can relax and Carmel O’Keefe (top) & Carmel Costigan (bottom) ‘Learn different cultures through travel’

Be curious, careful with The advice I would give to the youth of today about life is ‘make the most of your your finances, make the education, stay calm and stretch your abilities most of your working to their full potential. Always be curious, be life and travel the world, very careful with your finances, make the 72-year-old Elizabeth “most of your working life and travel the world. Ryan of Glenashling Strive to become more secure as you get Nursing Home in Co. older in your job. This can support you in Kildare advises. being able to afford to buy your own house or “ apartment and it enables you to live life to the fullest. I loved travel in my life, and travelled to the USA, Germany, France, Greece, Italy, Switzerland and Russia. I learned about different cultures and communities. I enjoyed the Italian culture and people best as they are very laid back and enjoy life. When I was young I enjoyed being in amateur dramatics and being on stage. It was a very positive time in my life and gave me great confidence. Now I live a life in which I enjoy security, safety and routine. The people here are very caring and are never far away if I want a chat or need something. I particularly enjoy the outings they regularly organise, with visits to the National Concert Hall, Newbridge Silver and Collins Barracks being ”recent. ‘Be fully alive to others’

Maureen is an 89-year-old resident of St Camillus, Killucan, Co. Westmeath. “In order to be fully healthy you have to be fully alive to others”, she advises when informing of one of her successes for long living.

Meet the day as it comes with a eating well and being interactive positive outlook! I was born and with people. In order to be fully reared in Mullingar where my healthy you have to be fully alive to parents were in business. For many others. Be a good listener. You never years they had two draper shops really know what other people are in the town centre and our family going through and it is important home was above those shops. that you can see another point of view. Be kind to others and grateful I was educated by the Dominican for what you have. And never forget “Sisters at Eccles Street in Dublin and where you are coming from. I am very proud of my Dominican background. I didn’t follow my family The move to St Camillus has opened into the drapery business but instead a new door for me and I am involved went into the hotel industry. I worked in all the activities here. I love to read in Jury’s and the Myra hotel before and spend many hours reminiscing taking up the management of the with my new friends as well as the Mont Clare Hotel in Dublin city younger members of staff who listen centre. Many girls came from the attentively to my tales of life in Dublin country were taken under my wing, in the 1960s and 70s. I feel safe here particularly when homesickness would and comforted by the company of overwhelm some for whom the big the people who engage with me on city was a far cry from the little world many different levels. I have found in of rural Ireland in the 1960s. It was this part of my life companionship and a world away from the safety and safety I did not have living alone. security these girls had grown up in. I’ve led a very active life and been blessed with good health. I attribute long life and good health to simply ” ‘Do the hokey pokey’

Brigid ‘Bibi’ Byrne finds connecting with nature helps reduce stressful thoughts and loves sharing activities with children from the local primary school. 70-year-old ‘Bibi’ is a resident of St. Gobnait’s, Ballyagran, Co. Limerick.

I look back on my childhood with very Seeing the children from the local happy memories. My late Father was primary school is a particular highlight a great musician and he passed on of the month for me. We interact his love of music to me. Music is my well together and enjoy sharing God. It relaxes my mind and is very activities such as arts and crafts, therapeutic. Here at St. Gobnait’s, singing, dancing and board games. we look forward to a sing-along Friendships are formed. Their visits every Saturday with Dan Noonan. seem to bring the older people out of “ themselves. It helps keep us feeling In my younger days I enjoyed young, makes us more interested gardening with my Mother and and generally happier. My latest walking in the countryside. The garden party piece is doing the Hokey Pokey here at St. Gobnait’s helps me feel with them. We have great fun. more at home and encourages me to spend more time outdoors. I take great pride in my appearance. I am extremely grateful to have I often think of my late husband, Paddy, such caring and supportive staff and get lonely every so often. But here who always look to ensure being able to connect with nature that I am looking my best and helps reduce any stressful thoughts who do my makeup for me. Our I may have and lets my mind go free. hairdresser visits frequently and I I got married in England and my love getting my hair done. It makes Wedding Day is a particularly positive me feel good about my appearance, memory from my life. My daughters’ which is very important to me. weddings were also such happy days. These memories are kept alive I would advise young people today in my bedroom where I am able to to live life to the fullest. You are never display all of my photographs. They too old to do anything. Get a good remind me of these joyous occasions education to prosper in life and no and always put a smile on my face. matter how busy life is make time Family is very important to me and St. for your family and your friends. Gobnait’s is a home away from home. ” I wander'd lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er ‘Good vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, food, good A host of golden daffodils, Beside the lake, beneath the trees company, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. good craic’ Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretch'd in never-ending line Richie Collins, 92-years Along the margin of a bay, of age and a resident of Ten thousand saw I at a glance CareChoice Nursing Home, Clonakilty, Co. Cork, used Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. engagement with customers to add positivity to his life. The waves beside them danced, but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee, The positives for me of growing A poet could not but be gay old are you receive more respect In such a jocund company! when you are older, you observe and see changes in society and the I gazed - and gazed - but little thought world, and you take great pride in What wealth the show watching children you have reared to me had brought. growing up. My family have brought “me great happiness and I had great For oft, when on my couch I lie joy over the years of working with In vacant or in pensive mood, my wife. My work entailed meeting They flash upon that inward eye with customers who became friends and I enjoyed the chat Which is the bliss of solitude, and the gossip. Good food, good And then my heart with pleasure fills company and having the craic And dances with the daffodils. all lead to a long and happy life.

William Wordsworth’s poem Daffodils offers ‘Bibi’ positive reflections for living a positive life. ” I set out on life’s journey hoping to end my life in the convent; but circumstances alter cases – broken noses alter faces! I am now in a nursing home which, in lots of ways, is like a convent – a communal life. “As a child I was in a very happy home and was very much the pet of Mum and Dad. I was one of two girls and in primary school we were blessed with very good teachers. We both did well in the primary cert and we graduated to ‘A house the secondary school run by the nuns in St Maries of the Isle. This was a fee paying or ‘pension’ school. I came out of my own with a good leaving cert and I decided I wanted to enter the convent and out of the after some thought I was taken in by the convent in Cappoquin. That was wind & in 1945 when I was just 19 years of age and I remained there until 1981. the rain’s I went to UCC, achieved a BA and returned to Cappoquin as a teacher till 1981. I got experience way’ of all types of classes: girls, boys and then mixed. My life at that stage was centred on my work as a Carmel O’ Callaghan teacher. I got great satisfaction out cried bitter tears when of my relationship with the pupils. she had to leave her lovely Some of the pupils were not co- house and garden due to operative and gave many a headache deteriorating health and trying to get them to concentrate on their work and pass exams. We had move to a nursing home. a policy that we would never lay a But the former teacher hand on a pupil, but instead we tried and nun has embraced the to encourage them along the way. I kindness and communal was fulfilled as a teacher and stayed life within the Bon Secours there till I retired. I loved the children Care Village in Cork. She and no two days were the same, because no two children are the same. is now blessed with the ‘shelter’ it is providing in We had many successes in the school which made it well worthwhile. her twilight years. I remember when the Department of fondness my visit to the North of Ireland Education supplied school buses to to friends in Belfast and Enniskillen. bring in pupils from the country areas. My eyesight began to deteriorate as One of these pupils was a John Treacy. a result of glaucoma and Charles He decided he enjoyed the trip better if Bonwell Syndrome. I eventually had to he gave his bag a ride and ran after the leave my lovely house and garden and bus. The result was that he became a come to a nursing home. This was very famous cross-country runner, eventually hard at first and I cried bitter tears. But I becoming world champion. Our other was given a lovely room overlooking a great success was Tom McCarthy, the lawn and an ancient wood. I am looked writer and poet. Towards the end of after by an excellent staff who are my time I took a sabbatical and went most kind. They see to my every need to live for a year in Stanbrook Abbey and their help is most appreciated in Worcester. It was a contemplative now that my eyesight is going. I have life which I enjoyed but not one which the lovely garden to walk every day I could continue for the rest of my and enjoy the unpolluted air on this life. So, I returned to Cappoquin. hill overlooking the River Lee. I am In 1981 I retired and spent three years independent, allowed privacy and I am working with a local convent gardener. not hampered in any way. Music is very They were wonderful years for both important to me, especially Lyric FM, of us. The numbers in our community and I enjoy the many entertainers who went down and the school was come to play for us. I enjoy the activities amalgamated with Lismore and their organised and especially the twice nuns. Our convent eventually closed. weekly quiz. I have had the opportunity to form friendships with other residents I came to Cork in 1984 and after and value that we have a chapel much careful thought I was granted which I can visit at any time. At 91, I a dispensation from my vows. As a am grateful that my brain is still active. result, I lived for thirty years on my I have friends and interests and my own in a rented house in Wilton. There family nearby who are very good to me. I enjoyed very happy years where I had independence in my own home I remember the words of the poem and was free to entertain my friends, ‘An Old Woman of the Road’, especially those who needed a bed for all sorts of reasons. I enjoyed I am praying to God on high, holidaying in Ireland. I am blessed And I am praying him night and day, with good memories of life in Ireland and England and of literature and For a little house, poetry. This is particularly wonderful A house of my own out of the given my eyesight is gone. I can go wind’s and the rain’s way. back to Bóthár na Smaointe (memory lane) for example, or revisit my trip She had nowhere to go whereas I am to Lourdes in 1960, taking in Paris blessed with the shelter of an excellent on the go by. I also recall with great nursing home in my twilight years.” ‘The Leprechaun’

78 years ago there was wonderful joy for Tommy and Delia Kelly with the arrival of their daughter Eileen. It was a precious blessing. An attack by a swarm of bees late into a previous pregnancy had led to the passing of twin boys who would have preceded Eileen. Now Eileen Moughan, she recalls her childhood and is now embracing the positivity of life in Brooklodge Nursing Home, Ballyglunin, Co. Galway.

the end of the year you got to Preparatory College, an Irish college in Tourmakeady. I was good at singing so I got my Irish Education in the beautiful college on the shores of Lough Mask - Coláiste Muire, Tur Mhic Éadaigh, Maigh Eo. I learned many new lessons and met many new faces, especially my wonderful friends from Knock, Bernadette and Áine. Bernadette and I walked the walks talking history, while Áine was better at telling us jokes of home and kept us laughing. Once a year Dad passed outside ‘Mac’ the Irish teacher was a our school room window with our walking terror, but I appreciated her generous load of turf for the school. Gaeilge iontach later on as I taught He waved in, the teacher waved Gaeilge in the Secondary Convent out, but I was too shy and did no in Castlerea. The reading sessions waving, keeping my head down. in the outstanding library on Sunday “Time passed, primary lessons were mornings were a real joy to me. learned. Mammy and Daddy sent In the wonderful teacher’s training my sister Bridie and I to the convent college Carysfort, I met the lovely boarding school in Claremorris. We English teacher Sr. Assissium. went into the class for preparatory She specialised in Anglo-Irish students. If you got the exam at poetry, with her favourite being: ‘Four Ducks on a Pond’ he would give us a crock of gold. I William Allingham never had the courage to go up. There he still sits on his little stool on moonlit “A grass bank beyond, nights mending his little shoes in the Blue sky of spring, lovely village of Cloonbullan, Co. Mayo. White clouds on the wing, My aunt Evelyn told me that I had What a little thing, caught the Leprechaun with his crock of gold when I met my wonderful To remember for years, husband Frank. Also, my family To remember with tears!” has proven to be full of riches.

As I was saying farewell to Carysfort, I was delighted to get the silver medal in education and my lovely, hardworking parents were as proud as punch. Later on through all the learning, I was very happy to join the Legion of ” Mary when teaching in Bekan, County Mayo. I loved teaching and singing with the little children, na daoine beag maithe. I loved ‘I am the Music Man’ and ‘I Come From Fairy Land’. ‘They are Summer holidays were lovely and inspiring. I went on Legion of Mary my family’ working holidays in London twice, Manchester, and Nottingham. The work was worthwhile. I remember kneeling down in Hyde Park London on August Paddy O’Dea, a 66-year- 15th saying the rosary. After this an old resident of Caherass, Irish fellow, a lapsed Catholic, came views those surrounding over to talk to me. He was impressed him as family. by our prayers and was sincere about returning to the faith. It is a touching This is my home and I love it here. moment that has lived with me. It will be my home as long as My little story I still recall from childhood I live. The people here are very was Daddy sending me up to the good to me; they are my family. In far corner of the far field to catch the Caherass I have people to talk to Leprechaun at home in Mayo. The all the time. I’m fed well and love Leprechaun was sitting on a stool playing cards with the men. The making little shoes for the fairies. “sing-songs are great and ‘The According to Dad if we caught him Boys from the County Armagh’ is and kept our eyes on him all the time, a favourite. My motto? Be nice to people and they will be nice” to you. After an accident and a period in Portiuncula Hospital, my son and I visited the Lodge. There I met Ann and her wonderful community of nurses, helpers and residents, moving happily in all directions. I sensed a lovely playful atmosphere, never a “warlike word among the staff. Yet the reality of humanity is evident within. A resident or two looked sad or lonely for home, maybe something ‘An like Wordsworth when he spoke of ‘the still sad music of humanity’. Yet the great buzz of activity has Meitheal reminded me of ‘An Meitheal’ the wonderful cooperation among the farmers in the countryside years ago. - the great In the course of the first week, I shared a bedroom with a mother of sixteen children, who is a lovely placid lady. buzz of When her youngest child was nine years old, she and her husband went around the country dancing activity’ and dancing. This dancing earned them many trophies. I thought my great aunt Peg, a mother of thirteen in Boston, was the real heroine until I Eileen of Brooklodge continues met this lady the mother of sixteen. her writing observing the “great The good nurses and helpers give us buzz of activity” in her new home. wonderful care and good advice in a lovely cheerful manner, with two very gifted ladies providing amusements galore like bingo, story-telling, art and sing-songs. To my joy my night nurse Maureen told me that she is a staunch member of the Legion of Mary. She is getting me a brand new Tessera - my older one has seen better days. Many great friends and neighbours have visited us in Brooklodge, but I had a great Céad Míle Fáilte from my great school friend Bernadette, the mother of nine. We’ve kept in touch through thick and thin. She lives in Ballymote, Co. Sligo.” Growing old I suppose is all about surviving and not taking things in life too seriously. Advice I’d give to the young ‘Enjoy nowadays would be to keep busy and enjoy your life. You only get one shot at life: you it. I’ve lived a positive life. I grew up in “Listowel and came to Dublin at an early age with my sister and a friend. We only get shared a flat together and even though we had very little money, we had great fun. I trained to be a teacher in Limerick one shot and my father, brother and sister were also teachers. My first post as a teacher was in Cavan but it was out in the at it’ middle of nowhere. The children were lovely but I felt very isolated. I enjoyed teaching and communicating with the children as in those days they had a Kathleen O’Conner is lot of respect for their teachers. I also a 94-year-old resident enjoyed travelling and went to different of Glenashling Nursing countries like France, Spain, Germany Home in Co. Kildare. She and America, where I visited a friend has generated positive in New York and cousins in Chicago. memories through her These generated very positive teaching and travel. She memories and now I’m living a positive life here in Glenashling. There is advises young people not always somebody close by to help to take life too seriously. and to be on hand for a chat. Staff are very nice. I enjoy spending time on my own in my room, where I watch television or listen to the radio. I can join in group activities if I wish and enjoy going to the hairdresser once a week as we have great chats.” I do believe that in all my 88 years I have never seen such an example of Christian charity as I experienced here among staff of Valentia Nursing Home during our heavy snow fall. One couldn’t help but notice the presence “of care, loyalty and unselfishness. It was heroic courage – all for the sake of us old folks. As a resident, I never once heard a grumble about trying to Snow in manage under difficult circumstances. Everyone went about briskly and Valentia efficiently, helping each other by taking jobs to which they were not accustomed. Those members of staff who lived anywhere near plodded 88-year-old May up the avenue and many braved the Ryan, a resident of elements in vehicles of some form or Valentia Nursing other to get here. Some didn’t leave Home in Enniscorthy, the premises and we were well looked Co. Wexford saw the after at night. During the day meals were served, along with the ‘morning positivity of life during cuppa’ and the evening tea and biscuits. the recent ‘Storm Emma’ which engulfed Many staff left their usual bed to be here with us even until the next day. We the country. Living on were never lonely and it was an uplift the east coast and in when a smiling face passed the open Wexford particularly, door to wish us well. Even Belle, our May and the residents of therapeutic ‘puss’, made her presence Valentia Nursing Home felt and though frustrated, accepted witnessed the brunt of the fact that birds were at a distance enjoying their ‘Flahavan’s Oat Flakes’. the storm. May talks here about the great effort Although for us residents, the time of of the nursing home the unrelenting snow was a change from the usual day-to-day living, still staff during the storm no one regretted hearing the thaw- and the positivity which drops popping from the roof. I hope shone through during an the dedicated staff enjoyed a pleasant otherwise stormy time. and well-deserved rest afterwards.” ‘Hands of friendship flower’

The residents of Haven Bay Care Centre, Co. Cork, created a centrepiece art project titled The Hand of Friendship Flower, using their hand outlines. It represents how important the residents feel about the positivity of friendship, being there for each other, enjoying each other’s company and being part of the community of Haven Bay. The Hands of Friendship Flower hangs centre place in the Kinsale- based nursing home. Drawing inspiration from it the residents, as part of the Care Centre’s activity programme, researched palmistry and discussed what the various lines on our hands represent, namely: life, marriage, heart, health, fate, money, sun and head. Residents read and considered lots of inspirational quotations and chose the ones which best represented each line on our palms. The project brought great enjoyment, evoking much discussion and focusing on the important and positive things in life. The inspirational quotes picked by the residents follow. ” Marriage Line “Optimism is a happiness magnet if you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.” Mary Lou Retton Head Line “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” Herm Allbright Money Line “The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessings previously secured.” Cicero Life Line “Old age is just a record of one’s whole life.” Muhammad Ali Sun Line “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” Maurice Chevalier Fate Line “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true we are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as a spectator.” Confucius Health Line “Old age has its pleasures which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.” W. Somerset Maugham Heart Line “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.” Booth Tarkington ‘I don’t “Somebody asked me recently do have time I get bored” Patrick explains. “My answer was that not only do I not get bored, but I don’t have time to do all the to do all the things I would like to do. I get the daily newspaper things I’d and have access to the radio and television. These enable me to keep in touch with what’s going like to do’ on in the world. I have taken up advice offered to go out when I am able to do so. With the help of Margaret ‘Peg’ Riordan and some friends I visit my old home Patrick O’Neill are residents for a few hours each week. Then there are the activities promoted of St. Joseph’s Nursing Home in the home such as rosary, bingo, in Killorglin, Co. Kerry. Peg Sonas group sessions, arts & turned 104 years-of-age, with crafts, and more. As an avid her son James attributing her reader, there is a variety of books longevity largely to the care available to me, including some she has received in the nursing I brought from the shelf at home which were waiting to be read. home over the years. Patrick, All-in-all it makes for a fulfilled life.” who is 86 years-of-age, has lived in St Joseph’s with his “Eta, my wife, and I have settled in very quickly to St. Joseph’s. This is wife Eta for almost a year. mainly due to the friendliness of He is happy that he and his the staff and their helpfulness at wife have settled in so quickly all times. Eta needs total care and and that their needs are well she gets it at all times. For myself, looked after at all times. all my needs are catered for – spiritual, medical and whatever else is required. Well-cooked and nourishing meals are provided as well a comfortable bed to lie in. All of this gives us a great sense of security. The driving force behind the great care we are receiving is the Sisters of St. Joseph’s. They are highly visible at all times and sensitive to the needs of the residents.” “Looking back on a long life, I see environment are the things we would that my Catholic faith has had a all hope for in our later years.” major bearing on the journey. I see “On St Patrick’s Day last, the foyer of that my Mother’s example had a big the home was beautifully decorated part to play in putting that spark of for the day by the Sisters and staff faith in me. As a woman who had to and each of the residents were bear enormous responsibilities after proudly wearing their shamrocks. my Father passed away, she had They all looked so happy and content to cope with raising a young family as they enjoyed the celebrations. and running the small farm we had It is these small personal touches in difficult wartime conditions. I see that makes the care here so special. her indomitable will as a product of We always know that the smile her strong faith and robust health”. Peg has when we visit and the Patrick considers wise words he happiness she feels is testament to would offer younger generations. the way she has been cared for”. “With regards to words of wisdom, I would say do unto others as you would wish them to do unto you.” Peg’s son James speaks on her behalf. Sister Mary Walsh, a resident of Queen of “My Mother has been a resident of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. St. Joseph’s for the past 18 years. “Get up, get out there and do things”. The Sisters and staff have not only looked after all of Peg’s physical Winnie Drury, a resident of Queen of requirements but have ensured that Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. the last number of years have been filled with care and attention to her “To be the best you can, work spiritual and emotional needs. Peg hard – it never did anyone harm”. has led a very happy life here over the years. She has enjoyed visiting Veronica Freyne, a resident of Queen of the beautiful chapel and has had the Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. opportunity to receive the Eucharist “Life is short, live it. Don’t wait around daily, which means a lot to her.” for things to happen, make it happen”. “She has spent many enjoyable hours in the day-room talking to friends and family, reading the Eamonn Campbell, newspapers, listening to the radio a resident of and watching television. Being able Queen of Peace to enjoy these simple pleasures in Nursing Home, life in such comfortable surroundings Knock, Co Mayo. is so important. Enjoying lovely food, “As I grow older, having friends and family around I’m much more content and happy you, living in a peaceful and secure with myself; this comes with age”. My Personal Yearning

Émer O’Tiarneigh is Oh how I yearn to be a while, the ‘poet laureate’ in Perhaps a day alone, Moycullen Nursing Home, To be in quiet solitude, Co. Galway. Originally Away from wants, desires and cares, from Clybaun, Emer To come and go, has always held a love of Whene’re I wish, writing and has written a number of pieces for Whene’re I please, local papers. She will To where I wander lonely with the breeze. often write poems to mark Oh to dwell in a simple solid hut, special events within the On golden islands sands of Inis Thiar, nursing home. With glorious nature serving as my company, The sky, the seas, the barren lands. I should be happy thus, To rise at break of day, And feel the dormant heat of sun, Gather herbs and food farm, And line and bask in warm sultry day. My heavy weight of tribulation await, And then when night should come, And cast her dark cloak o’er the earth, In my hut I should kneel and pray, And thank my ethereal God, For my peaceful, happy day. ‘Watching the farmers go by’

Ernest Bates got his hands on the Liam MacCarthy Cup in 2016 and enjoys the company of his ‘lovely circle of friends’. Life has improved for the 80-year-old since he moved to St Martha’s Nursing Home, Cahir, Co. Tipperary.

My nursing home is situated at the foot encouraged and helped to organise of the Galtee Mountains. I thoroughly visits home. I brought in furniture enjoy sitting out in the gardens and from my own home which was very watching the farmers go by. My comforting for me when I first came. family and friends are always made I have met a lovely circle of friends who feel very welcome when they visit. I enjoy chatting with. I also have the To say the least, the last year-and-a-half privacy of my own room where I can “living in my new home in St Marthas chat to my family and friends on the have been very comfortable. It is a phone. I enjoy taking part in all the daily very homely place and encourages the activities, from the exercise programme residents to follow their own routines to boules, bingo, word-games, marbles, that they have been accustomed visiting music sessions and taking part to over periods that go beyond 90 in the Sonas reminiscence programme, years. It’s a place where time is where I always have a tale or two to tell. given to listen to the residents’ point In 2016 when Tipperary won the of view. We can make suggestions All Ireland Hurling Final the Liam and be involved in decisions through MacCarthy Cup and players visited our monthly residents’ meetings. the home. In 2017 it was the ladies I feel safe and have a feeling of having turn and the winning captain of the family constantly around me. My health Tipperary football team, winners has improved since I started living here of the All Ireland, visited. We because of the regular meals, with my don’t miss out on any events. preferred choice always catered for For me, living in St Marthas has given and never a problem. Also getting my me a great sense of security and medication on time has improved my comfort. It has given me the opportunity general health. I have no worries as all to meet new people and encounter my needs are taken care of and I am new experiences, even at my age.” ‘The lay of the last minstrel’

Seven residents of St. Peter’s Nursing Home in Castlebellingham, Co. Louth, sat down with activities co-ordinator, Margo. They discussed happy life memories, the positivity in growing old and provided valuable advice and words of wisdom to the younger generations. Tess Roe, 99, has lived locally for almost a century, working with her sister on the family farm. Her father was a stone mason who built many houses and buildings in the area which are still standing to this day. Peter Cameron is 83-years-of-age and lived in Perth, Western Australia, for many years. After a life of adventure, he advises people to ‘look after their feet’. Bridie Harrison, 82, lived in London and met her husband after they got on the same bus and he offered to pay her fare. James and Pauline Balfe, aged 89 and 86 years, are a husband and wife who are enjoying life together and reflect upon the happy life together that they have lived. Tom Murphy, 79, joined the FCA before becoming a paratrooper deployed in Cyprus and Turkey. Tony O’Brien, 86, loves both music and reading. He set up a band ‘The Briny Folk’ with his wife and toured around different pubs performing gigs. ” “Growing old is a wonderful privilege,” a life of positivity and happiness. Tess tells the discussion. “I stay awake at night reminiscing and remembering • “Don’t keep bitterness bottled times gone by. I’ve met so many up, it’s good to talk. Never, never wonderful friends throughout my long judge people or situations and life. I really enjoy passing on family be kind to everyone,” Tess Roe traditions and I’m happy and grateful • “If you can’t do a good turn, don’t to be able to get about and help other do a bad one,” Peter Cameron people too,” Bridie adds. James offers some of his proudest achievements. • “Thank God every morning when “In 1954 I had the pleasure to help you’re able to rise and shine. Never set up a male voice choir which is still cast a cloth until May is out because going strong. It’s great to look back you never know when it will get cold, at all the things that were important especially in Ireland,” Bridie Harrison to us at different times. A great help • “Give all the help you can to for me was to marry my love and I’m other people who have not lucky to have met the right woman”. been lucky with their lives. Do His wife Pauline adds: “I love being unto others as you would like around all the people I grew up with done unto you,” James Balfe and had fun with and I love family life with all its ups and downs.” • “Live each day as it comes. Just be friendly to everyone – if they want Conversation turns to their lives present to fight, don’t retaliate – just let them day and how they have adapted fight on their own,” Pauline Balfe nursing home living. “I am taken care of here,” Peter states. “I have lovely • “Eat plenty of garlic to kill all carers and plenty of company”. Tom the bad bacteria. Always be comments: “I’m happy to be here, the happy; smile. Don’t worry too people are so nice. I have my own much because stress will speed little group of friends who I chat with up your life,” Tom Murphy and watch my western John Wayne • “Always look on the bright side of life. movies with. The staff are so good to Learn as much as you can, learning me.” Tony speaks of friendship. “I’ve keeps you young,” Tony O’Brien made loads of new friends – the banter we have together! My favourite With a shared love of music and thing to do is have a singalong with poetry, the residents considered songs my friends. I like the mix of people and poems that promote positive that are here. I have company all the reflections. Pauline tells us how she is time and have different conversations always singing ‘Enjoy Yourself’ by The every day. I don’t get lonely.” Specials, helping her to remain positive With the great life experiences that throughout the day. Tom loves reading they have behind them, the group are Patrick Kavanagh’s ‘On Raglan Road’. asked to divulge any words of wisdom Tess provides an extract from Walter or advice that has helped them to live Scott’s ‘The Lay of the Last Minstrel’: Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land! Whose heart hath ne’er within him burn’d, As home his footsteps he hath turn’d, From wandering on a foreign strand! If such there breathe, go, mark him well, For him no Minstrel raptures swell, High though his titles, proud his name, Boundless his wealth as wish can claim, Despite those titles, power, and pelf, The wretch, concentred all in self, Living, shall forfeit fair renown, And, doubly dying, shall go down, To the vile dust, from whence he sprung, Unwept, unhonour’d, and unsung.

Peter shares a poem that was written by his wife Toni Cameron:

Wait till you’re old yourself one day, You don’t notice your teeth will fall out, Things will go astray, You’ll forget just what you were going to say, You’ll go upstairs or to another room and not remember what you were after, You’ll hum to yourself and drive others crazy,

You’ll get busy doing all sorts, so (top - bottom) Bridie Harrison (left), Tess Roe (right), Pauline you’re not considered lazy Balfe & husband James (left), Tom Murphy (right), James Balfe with wife Pauline & daughter Julie, Peter Cameron & wife Toni & Tony O’Brien. My advice to younger people is ‘Keep the ‘keep the faith’. I wouldn’t be a ‘Holy Joe’ but the way things are going today I’m afraid for younger people. faith’ Faith gives hope. Words of wisdom I’d offer: take every day as it comes and don’t worry about tomorrow, it’s a new day. As for living to be James “an old age, life is about quality not “ O’Donnell, a quantity. The nursing home is now my 79-year-old community. I enjoy company all day. I resident of Caherass Nursing have security, comfort, a good choice Home in Co. Limerick, of food and I help in the garden. I advises young people that get great attention from the staff. I am free to come and go as I please and faith provides hope. go for walks and regular exercise. I feel safe here and I am happy.

‘The day Lucy ” the dog became a permanent visitor’

93-year-old Michael Hennessy speaks of the ‘journey’ he has undertaken the past 13 years since he moved into Amberley Home & Retirement Cottages, Fermoy, Co. Cork. He recalls an early celebration with the local ‘bigwigs’ in the newly established Amberley when he and his friend Kevin were the only residents in attendance and enjoyed a beer outside in the sun. He also recalls the day stray dog Lucy came to visit and became part of his and other residents’ lives. I moved to Amberley in April 2005 The Matron, Patricia, said that they at the age of 80. I was living with my would see if the owners could be niece before that and we were looking found or contacted but no one ever for somewhere for me to live where I came to claim her. She became part of could still have my independence and the family and I started taking her for yet know that there was assistance walks, which I loved. Lucy had no fear nearby if I needed it. I am diabetic and whatsoever and one day she nearly while I was managing the condition ran across in front of a lorry. The fright “myself, my niece felt it would be she gave me! She was fine but we important to have medical help nearby. didn’t go out by the road after that. I first lived in the cottages themselves. For activities, at the start we went by I was the first tenant and I had the bus to Clúinn Dara once a week on a pick of them so I chose number one Thursday. We would usually spend the because it is beside the woods. I afternoon playing bingo. Then John looked after myself, doing my own Conway started the bus outings. The cooking and cleaning, but after a first time we went out was to go to while I started getting help from confession in Mount Melleray and I the nursing staff to control my still love going there every year. After diabetes. I also started coming to a while we started going to other the home for dinner occasionally. places like the Nano Nagle Centre, Parsons Green, Kilcoran Lodge or out At the start there were only a couple for a picnic. I love going for a drive. ” of residents living here. Kevin Whealey had moved in the same month as me I am living in the nursing home full- and he was living in the nursing home. I time now. Sometimes I do miss the remember the first August that we were independence I had in my cottage living there the Matron, Patricia Guilfoil, but I live a very happy life. It is great and we had a party on a Friday night. to have the support of the staff who They were cutting the crops in the field are wonderful and really so helpful. across from us and all the bigwigs My room is large and comfortable from the area were at the party: and I have everything I need. I love doctors, TD’s, chemists, local Gardaí the activities and helping out. I set and many more. Kevin and I were the up the microphone when there is only residents there and I remember music and I also love helping out sitting outside drinking beer with the when there is Mass - ringing the bell sun shining; it was a great evening. and doing the rosary every evening. I also fondly remember the day Lucy the dog came to the home. There was a lady living in the home whose husband used to visit every day. He turned up one day with this gorgeous puppy. He said that he nearly hit her when he was driving on the way here. Michael Hennessy, Lucy the Dog & Breda” Patterson. I am enjoying the company of the other people who are the same as ‘Put myself. We are here for a reason; we can make life enjoyable for others too. I feel safe, especially in the yourself bad weather and my family are not worried about me as long as I am “here. When you are home alone it is in God’s natural for your family to worry about you. A lot depends on the attitude of the staff in care, but it is great hands’ here. I can do a lot of activities here in the nursing home; I can cook, knit and join in on sing-a-longs. Joan Cotter is 95 years-of-age Try telling the young generation and is a resident of Douglas about how to live life? Best of luck! Nursing home in Moneygourney, Life teaches them the most; they Douglas, Co. Cork. She wishes must adapt to life. Be friendly to luck to the younger generation others and you will make friends. Get on well together as a family. Be there making their way through their for your family if they ever need you. “ own life journeys and advocates My mother told me: ‘live as long as the importance of faith. you can and die when you must’.

Joan offers words of wisdom relating to faith that have helped to guide her through life.” “Wherever you are in your life, the Lord and Guardian Angels will guide you in the right direction”

“Put yourself in God’s hands and he will do the rest for you” ‘Many activities keep me occupied’

Chris Darcy served as President of the Gaelic League in New York and was active within his community when he returned to Ireland. The 95-year-old moved to nursing home care to support his late wife Máire and writes of an active, independent, happy and fulfilling life.

I was born in Terryglass, Nenagh, in to an acute episode of Croup and 1923 and went to Terryglass National this was a very traumatic time for us. School until I was fourteen years old. We bought a house in Drumcondra After leaving school I commenced in Dublin and I got a job in Dublin work in various jobs, working on a Airport, where I worked for over 20 poultry farm and in a grain store for years. We enjoyed our time in Dublin some years. I was very involved in and we ended up spending over 50 my community and was a member years there. We were very involved in of the FCA. I was involved with the “ the Parish of Marino and enjoyed life local regatta club as their secretary there. We had a holiday home back as well as being a member of the in my home of Terryglass in Nenagh local boxing and drama clubs. I and we enjoyed the many holidays was also in a local dance band we had there. Máire and I shared a and have always loved music. love of music and attended many In 1955 I emigrated to the USA as work shows and concerts over the years. was very scarce in Ireland. I worked As the years moved on, life changed very hard there and held down two for both of us in many ways. From jobs to make as much money as I a young age Máire had developed could. I also got involved in the social Rheumatoid Arthritis and this disability scene there, mainly with Irish emigrants. progressed over the years. Then about I was president of the Gaelic League six years ago it became apparent in New York, which promoted Irish that Máire was developing severe culture. It was there that I met my future memory loss that was progressing wife Máire Keogh, from Dublin, and we rapidly. I was her sole carer and about got married in 1966. We decided to two years ago the situation became return to Ireland in 1968 when we were unmanageable for me and we decided expecting our first baby and wanted to sell our house in Marino and to rear our child in Dublin. Sadly, our move to Knockeen Nursing Home in child passed away at ten months due Wexford. The reason we both moved newspaper. I know many people will to Knockeen was that I wanted to be ask why am I in a nursing home when with Máire, who now needed full-time I am in very good health mentally and care. We chose Wexford as my nephew physically. The answer to that is I am was involved in the nursing home. We leading a very happy and fulfilled life both settled in quickly and it was a at present. The reason I came here great load off my shoulders to have was to seek full time care for my wife Máire cared for while I was present and I wanted to be with her. I have with her. I developed my own routine settled in very well here and I have my with the help of the nursing home independence, which I appreciate very and this helped to occupy my time. much. Nicola is the Director of Nursing here and she and her staff have made Sadly, Máire’s condition deteriorated every effort to involve me in the various and she passed away in November activities that take place. Eimear in 2017 in the loving care of the administration, who is my grandniece, staff in the nursing home. RIP. is a great support to me also. We get to As Máire’s care all her life was my go to many outside events throughout main priority, when she died it created the year and I try to help any residents a huge vacuum in my life and it has who are less able than I. I enjoy my been difficult to adjust. I have always own privacy when I desire it and I been very active and I thank God have whatever freedom I want. that I am still in very good health to I enjoy the involvement I have in this day and love to be occupied. the many activities and it keeps me Since Máire’s death, the staff of occupied. I also like to talk to other Knockeen have made every effort to residents and really enjoy when the fill the vacuum that has occurred. They staff are on their coffee round each allow me my independence, which morning, having the chat and the usual includes my two mile walk each day banter with them; there are some great after breakfast. I’m also involved in characters here. The nursing home has the residents’ committee where we an open-door policy and this gives the can express our views and opinions residents a lot of freedom. I sold our on changes for the betterment of the house in Dublin to fund our care and residents. I am responsible for caring now I’m happy that I could do that. for the plants and shrubs around the place and I also help organise sing At this stage of my life I often think if songs and the playing of music for I was not in the nursing home here, I the other residents. I help with the would be a terribly lonely man. I had religious service daily and the special no immediate family up in Dublin services at Christmas and Easter time. and I would be very isolated at this stage. I am so happy that I made the I love hurling and sport in general. I decision to move to Knockeen Nursing watch my native Tipperary playing Home and I regard this place as my hurling and the banter is great here second home and my new family. in Wexford. I do a lot of reading when I can, including reading the daily Chris Darcy & Great-grandnephew. ” The Singing Club

There is lots of entertainment going on in the house every day, So you just have to pick up and go, To pass the time away. There is one you may not have tried yet, As through the program you sift. Come along to the singing club, It will give your heart a lift. There are some very good singers, And some mediocre ones too, Some people that have a few notes, And others that haven’t a clue. Then there are those that are nervous, And sing alone in the dark, A few days with Bobby and Sabrina, They’ll be singing like the lark. We already have had one show, And I think it went down very well, We are now rehearsing carols for Christmas, How that goes only time will tell. So if you feel like singing or would like to give it a try, Just come along on a Tuesday, we’re there at 2:30 in Rye.

By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare. I have lovely memories of my childhood when times were so different. I remember at Christmas I would always ask for a doll and a pram. I spent endless hours washing and dressing the doll. I would patiently change her and keep her clothes well washed, “folded and the doll warm at all times, as if she were my very own baby. It’s probably no surprise that the highlight of my life was getting married and having four live ‘dolls’ of my own. I must say that a real baby was a bit of a shock. Not quite so easy as my ‘Treasure pretend babies had been. I loved them all dearly and, of course, still do. My children’s names are George, Michael, the gifts Katherine and Hanna. In those days, more often than not, Mums would you have’ stay at home doing housework and baking. The children came home and in the evening set the table. When Dad got in we would sit around the table, Ellen Broad, a resident say Grace and have our meals. I am of Gormanston Wood delighted to reach this milestone in life Nursing Home in and to have my lovely family around. I love having a mobile phone so I can Gormanston, Co. Meath, contact friends and family regularly. has recently reached the remarkable milestone This phase of my life has been the most difficult but I am very happy of 100 years-of-age. here in Gormanston Wood as I really Her positive reflections do need 24-hour care. I try my best to encompass her childhood, join in all the activities that are offered raising a family and her to me and at three o’clock every day life now as a nursing home one of my family will come and visit resident. Ellen is still very me for a couple of hours. I love the exercises we have twice a week and active after a century of there is always something going on. I life, participating in any recently had the privilege of teaming activities that are on offer. up on a project with local school She urges us to cherish the children which was very rewarding. gifts we have and to not take them for granted. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Paddy, I have to say I have enjoyed every who travelled all the way from Cavan to moment of my life so far. I am happy, demonstrate the art of basket weaving. warm, well-fed and really quite spoilt He grows the reeds in his garden. here in the nursing home. I thank God Only about five basket makers exist in every day for my sight, hearing and Ireland so I felt privileged to be able mobility. You really do take so much to meet him. I can go in the day room for granted and only later in life do and sit with friends or stay in my room. you realise what gifts you truly have. My children read the paper to me and I have the television to keep me up to date with events local and worldwide. ” ‘The importance of family & showing kindness’

Margaret Gillick, Patrick Coyle and Sean Glynn are residents of Woodlands House Nursing Home in Navan, Co. Meath. Margaret is 87-years-old and spent many years as a nurse in England. The positivity of growing old for Margaret comes from being able to spend the years with her son, Steven. Patrick, also 87 years-of-age, is a former primary school principal and holds an All-Ireland Football winner’s medal for Donegal. Like Margaret, Patrick finds positivity in being able to spend time with his loved ones. Sean Glynn, age 78, taught English and History and is a well-travelled man, spending several years in Africa in the 1960s. Sean says he feels positive when he thinks about how comfortable and well-cared for he is, living in a nursing home. Staff of Woodlands House sat down with the aforementioned residents and asked them about their positive life experiences, the positivity they find in growing old, and for any advice they have that has served them well in life that could be offered to the youth of today. Margaret is glad of the positive always be happy and try to stay healthy, life experiences that have brought as this has been a sustained source of happiness and positivity to her life, such happiness and positivity during his life. as her time as a nurse. She remembers When posed the same question, Sean affectionately all the good friends she advises that people should try and made during this time. Margaret missed show kindness to everyone they meet. being at home on the farm when she lived in England but enjoyed getting the chance to look after people, which brought her great fulfilment. Being healthy is very important to Patrick and it is source of great happiness for him that he is in good health. Patrick looks back on his memories in life and finds positivity and contentment from his achievements in his career and in sport.

Having security and being comfortable Margaret Gillick (left) are important to Sean and it is both Patrick Coyle & Sean Glynn (right) of these which afford Sean a positive outlook. He finds great security in knowing there is help available when Veronica Freyne, a resident of Queen of required. Patrick enjoys living in a Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. nursing home because he has met “I have a lot less responsibility and lovely people who are always willing to I am closer to being in heaven as share a joke and a laugh, like Patrick it is written in his plan. I have done himself. He says that he feels honoured the best I can to make sure my to have the care that he receives family were looked after and now I and to have such a loving and caring can see them settled and thriving”. family that make sure to visit him with regularity. Margaret shares these sentiments and is very grateful for the Bridget Ann, a resident of Queen of day-to-day care that she receives. She Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. is delighted to have such a loving family “It’s a great joy for the aged with whom she has daily contact. to see the young growing up healthy and lovely, ready to The residents were asked about any take their places in life”. ethos or words of wisdom that stand out and could be offered as advice to the younger generations. Margaret Evelyn Rafter, a resident of Queen of comments that she would like to Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo. see young people focus on getting a “I’m happy and content about qualification, having a good career and being old and it’s nice to have then eventually getting to see the world. people around me. I feel secure Patrick’s advice to young people is to and that means everything”. Change in a Lifetime

Sometimes when sitting alone in my room I think of the times that have past, How quiet and peaceful life was then, now everything is moving so fast.

Things were fairly primitive then, there was no electric light, And people used the paraffin lamp and candles to help them through the night. There were still mud cabins, with white-washed walls and thatch, Nobody afraid of burglars and the door left on the latch.

The children walked to school, with their books in a bag on their back, And also there a jam sandwich to have for the midday snack. The water used for cooking and drinking was taken from the well While for washing and cleaning, a pipe from the roof collected the rain that fell. There were very few cars on the road, so it was either the bike or go walking, With a salutation to everyone and always time for talking.

The horse was very important then, for ploughing and cutting corn and grass, Then yoked in the cart for work on the farm and in the trap on Sunday for Mass. Things have changed so rapidly, it’s hard to understand, There’s now a machine for every job that has to be done on the land. The same applies to the yard and house, Many things that were a chore can all be done with the turn of a switch, no problem anymore.

The art of conversation is gone, it’s phone, iPod and PlayStation Communication is now by text, every word an abbreviation. Irish culture is dying fast, I partly blame the legislators, Instead of keeping the old laws, they are listening to agitators

By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare. ‘Change your thinking’

Sheila Gallagher, a 78-year-old resident of Craddock House, Co. Kildare, advises people to break out of the prison of negative self- esteem and to develop a sense of inner adventure of the soul.

It is a great moment when you break Living in a nursing home gives me out of the prison of negative self- security, constant support, safety, great esteem and develop a sense of the comfort and affection from all the inner adventure of the soul. Suddenly management and staff. I am reassured everything seems to become possible; about my health being cared for you feel in the now and young. Think and I get the medical help I need. happy, feel happy, live in the moment and without judgements. Smile Sheila cites a poem by John “through life and have a good attitude. O'Donohue from Eternal Echoes: Celtic Deal with upset in life but then put Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong your troubles into an imaginary boat as providing her with inspiration and cast it away not to be revisited. and guidance. Extract provided: To the younger generation there are “One of the most beautiful gifts” in the three words I would advise: “change world is the gift of encouragement. your thinking”. Look at thoughts as When someone encourages just thoughts, purposely not reacting you, that person helps you over to their content. In mindfulness, much a threshold you might otherwise of our struggles in life come from never have crossed on your own.” the mind craving for what we do not have or rejecting what we do have. Another inspirational quote she lives by is inscribed on poet Positive memories in my life would Seamus Heaney headstone: include the birth of my children. I also was privileged to run my own “Walk on air against your hair salon in Ringsend and was better judgement”. blown over by the support and help received from my customers in difficult times or when I was ill. ‘In the tapestry of life we are all connected’

On a daily basis, residents of Greenpark Nursing Home in Tuam gather to relax, meditate, pray and share stories. Cathy, the facilitator of the gathering, asks the residents to reflect upon positivity within within their lives.

Sister Leo begins by seeking to capture our wishes wants and needs and the essence of the positivity of the endeavours to facilitate their fulfilment daily gathering. “Each day we gather in as best a way as possible.” in a group, guided by a sensitive Why are memories so important? Bridie facilitator, where we are free to share H offers: “Memories define who we our memories, our longings, express are and we want to share that with the our needs, suggest and create new people in our community.” Her fellow ideas for the benefit of all,” she states. Bridie comments: “They [memories] This forms the basis for the discussion. are such a part of us and that we Cathy poses the question. What don’t want to lose them. It is a worry does it mean to gather in a group? that as I get older I will lose those ” Joan offers it is about friendship and special memories that I have in my connectivity and Bridie H believes the head. By sharing the memories others group is part of the community. Another can help us to find them if we have Bridie adds: “What we have here is difficulty recalling them in the future.” our own small community”. Nodlaig Sister Leo points out that memories believes community manifests itself in evoke emotions, both happy and sad, the nursing home through residents but without emotions what have we? and staff looking out for each other What do we long for? Joan states and being able to come and go. she long for cigarettes, Mary for The discussion moves onto Sister blackberries, Sister Leo for coffee Leo’s observation about the group with milk, Bridie for Irish coffee and being guided by a sensitive facilitator. Maureen to go shopping before her Joan offers: “This is someone who trip to Lourdes. Mary longs for Galway asks us what we want to do rather to win the All Ireland. All very simple than tell us what to. We all agree things. No lottery wins or big houses or that it is someone who understands Mercedes cars. Just the simple things. Consideration is given to expressing contribute towards larger body of our needs. Mary believes it is a creativity within the nursing home. gift to be able to ask for what you The residents choose the following need. Bridie says: “They make you words to emphasis of the importance comfortable here in a way that of creativity within their lives. makes it easy to ask and they know what you want even if you don’t ask.” In the tapestry of life we are all connected Creativity helps bring the residents together and is part of where Each one of us is a gift they live. They are surrounded by to those around us their creations and those of fellow Helping each other to be who we are residents: little decorations, pieces of art. Their next plan is to yarn Weaving a perfect picture together bomb (‘what young people call it) in the court yard. Smaller pieces

I feel happiest when I am My dancing. I love to jive. I learned how by watching marquee others dance in the local marquees in the seventies. I used to hear the music days when I was young and out in the fields saving the hay “with my father. I love music, Al O’Connor reflects very especially rock and roll. Elvis Presley and Roy Orbison are positively on the era of marquees among my favourite singers. and showbands, feeling like Elvis Presley as he travelled around on Kilmurry McMahon had the first marquee of the year at his Honda 50. He’s danced with Easter. Doonbeg had one New York and Kerry roses and in May, Kilmihil in June and good dancing partners were often July. In September we had treated to an orange and Choc Lissycasey and Kilmaley. Ice. The Kilrush Nursing Home The bands would play resident recalls the golden era of hail, rain or snow. It was about £5 to get in. No tea showbands and good Irish craic. and buns in the marquee, but a mineral bar that consisted of usually started at 9pm and the bands a plank held up by concrete blocks. would play until 1am or sometimes Sometimes there’d be vans outside it would be from 10pm to 2am. selling ham sandwiches or burgers. I also liked to go to Ennis dancing. I loved the jiving. The good dancers The Queens and West County hotels would be up near the stage. It would often have bands playing in was great to have a good dancing their function rooms. The Jet Club was partner, be able to spin her around also a great place to go. Donie Collins on the floor to the beat of the music used to bring the showbands there. and maybe buy her a drink of It was a different experience to the orange or a Choc Ice afterwards. marquees. The women were not all lined up along one wall. There was no Some lads would spend all their big push there at the start of the dance. money in the pub beforehand and then have no money to get into the I liked going to the Lisdoonvarna festival marquee. Some would try to sneak too in September. I liked to go to the in. Committee members would man Rathbawn Hotel as there was good the entrances to keep them out. modern music there and I could jive. I would meet them afterwards outside the They had some great bands at these Golden Grill chip shop to get a lift home. marquees. I danced to the music of Big Tom, The Indians, The Conquerers, I danced with the New York Rose Gina Dale Hayes and the Champions, one night. There were lots of Galway The Golden Star Band, Dickie Rock, women in Lisdoonvarna and Northern Brendan Shine and Sheeba (Maxi, Irish women. I danced with the Kerry Dick & Twink), Joe Dolan and Brendan Rose during the Miltown Malbay Boyer. They were great times. Darling Girl from Clare contest. The marquees were generally erected I enjoyed life to the full. I was like Elvis with six poles and a canvas. The stage Presley in those days. I used to drive a was often just planks of timber across Honda 50 motor bike. I had the helmet empty beer kegs. There might also and oil skins to protect me from the rain. be raised planks of timber along the It was a great bike. I would pull down sides of the tent which were used as the choke, give it a kickstart and off I seats. The girls would line up along went. It did 130 miles to the gallon. one side and the lads on the other. The marquees are gone now as When the music started there would are the showbands. But I still enjoy be a rush across the floor of lads dancing and singing. The local pubs asking girls to dance. Sometimes have music now at weekends and I you might be refused. Once when like to go and listen while having a I was refused, I told her she should drink. Sometimes, there might even be have brought her knitting with her. dancing. It brings me back to the golden Generally I would go for a few drinks in era of showbands and good Irish craic. the pub first and then go to the marquee around 10.30 or 11pm. The marquees ” It was fingers on the buzzers From midnight until dawn The Big Then we called to Mary’s kitchen For porridge and brown bread Sure, Gran turned on the toaster Snow We had plenty of Brennan’s bread Marguerite and Erika, The new girls on the block of 2018 As sound as the Rock of Cashel Sure they worked around the clock

It came while we were sleeping God bless Michelle and Jhona The snow fell three feet deep They kept the ship afloat The temperature was zero And Marie O our captain And the snow was knee deep She was last to leave the boat No school for all the children We can’t forget our Damien They could all stay at home He put his life at risk Unlike the Norwood carers To take us home to our families Who had no choice at all God’s greatest gift When Finola came on duty For Norwood Grange was calling She gave us all a laugh And we all had to go She took her shovel and her axe To tend to all our residents And tried to clear the path Who needed all our care Her arms they were aching As I reached the gates of Norwood Her fingers numb with cold The sky was black as coal “I’d rather be a Norwood nurse I met with Mary Moynihan Than swing that pick and axe” And we threw a few snowballs So when us girls line up in heaven We made a little snowman With Peter by our side With a carrot for his nose Remember Lidia, Elaine and Mary Along came a hungry Harry Who fed the Norwood crowd And nibbled at his nose And when we enter heaven We all got down to business And key in the code And had a lovely time We’ll say we’re Charlie’s angels But when we saw the blizzard And Peter will let us in We had to settle down Now the snow has melted Tanya had her night bag We all say “hip hooray” And granny her hold all Sure I was reared so near the Galties But Mary Lehane’s furry Jammies It was déjà vu for me Were the envy of us all Mary Murphy got excited She said “we’ll have a ball” But we were so disappointed By Noreen Coleman, Norwood We did not sleep at all Grange Nursing Home, Co. Cork Sr. Colette Stafford, 98, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry. Lord for tomorrow’s needs I do not pray, but keep and guard me Lord just for today. The advice I would give to the younger generation for to live life positively is acceptance. Accept all that comes your way whether good or bad, but make the most of the good times and be kind and generous to everyone you meet as it always comes back to you. The positives of life for me now in the nursing home is daily care, friendship and companionship.

Kathleen Walsh, 75, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry. The words of wisdom that I would like to offer other readers of the book is to do what you can to make life better for yourself, you have only one life and make the most of it. The most positive life experience that I had that brought happiness and friendship in to my life was moving in to Our Lady of Fatima nursing home. I lived alone at home since my father died in 1988, life was very lonely for me, as the years went by I saw fewer people and life became unbearable. I now have companionship and have made some very good friends here. There is something different to do every day here at Fatima Home.

Sr. Ita Rochford, 79, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry. Words of wisdom. If I can help someone along the journey of life, then my life will not be in vain. Take every day as it comes and enjoy the little things.

Sr. Mary Cunningham, 84, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry. The positivity of growing old is that you become wiser every day with life experiences. The only way to live your life is to have a positive outlook, always look on the bright side and do not take life too seriously. The positives of my life now living in the nursing home are friendships, happiness and no more loneliness. I have always been the type of person who liked to help others and am thankful I can continue to do this today by helping out fellow residents and staff in any way I can. Here are some of the lessons life has taught me: - “• Live one day at a time • Let go of disappointment and sadness • Try not to dwell on things • Be happy and enjoy what ‘Devotion you have here and now • Have prayer in your life and be to Our accepting of what God sends I have always had great devotion to Lady’ Our Lady and I truly believe she has helped me through life. I married Owen when I was 32 years old and longed for a baby. I asked Our Lady to help and when I was 38 she sent us four children Margaret Farrell is in three years; we were truly blessed. I 86 years-of-age and feel sad for the younger generation, it’s is a resident of Parke all so materialistic now and for many House Nursing Home God isn’t a part of their lives. God is in Kilcock, Co. Kildare. being taken out of everything in society. Margaret discusses the The words of the Memorare prayer are lessons that she has particularly dear to me. When I say this learned on the journey prayer I am reminding Our Lady that she has never failed to help me. It is a prayer of life and how her faith about having trust and saying thanks. has helped her along the way. REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee I do come; before thee I stand,” sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen. ‘Cranking up for the free birds to travel’

Sheelagh Kearney, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co Dublin. “I met my husband John when I was 15 years old. I told him I was 19 and he believed me. We started courting and fell in love. John decided he wanted to buy his first car. I was at home waiting for him to arrive in his lovely new motor. When he arrived outside I thought it was great. He paid 40 pound for it but every time we wanted to go out, we had to crank it up with a special key that you stuck in the middle of the engine in the front in the car. It was like a train starting up. We got some value out of that car. We were as free as birds driving anywhere and everywhere around Ireland. When it came time to sell it we got 50 pound back. We then used this 50 pound as a deposit on our first house. I can still hear that car starting every time I hear a train.”

‘Jelly laughs’

Rose O’Reilly, a resident of Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co Dublin. “When I married times were hard in Dublin. We didn’t have much luxuries as we couldn’t afford them. The one thing I did like to have and try was jelly on a Sunday for after our dinner. I had a large family, so it had to go a long way. I had a great neighbour and friend named Peg. She would come down to my house and I would go up to her in the evening to see if either of us needed a hand to do anything. This particular evening, I was in top of my usual housework, so I decided to start preparing Sunday dinner. I may my lovely lemon jelly and put it to set. Peg arrived to the house full of chat about the advents of her busy day. I was ” folding the laundry in the corner unaware of what she was doing. Peg arrived out of the kitchen and asked me was that my jelly and that she would make it while she boiled the kettle for a cuppa for us. I looked at the bowl in her hand and said ‘Peg, you just threw my jelly down the sink’. Well we laughed for years about that.” ‘The devil & the game of cards’

John O’Neill is a resident of Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin. “When I was a young boy a story about the devil appearing in the fireplace was told to me by my father and it goes like this. One night the master of the house Lord Crew and a few of the night men, including my father, decided to play a card game. Everything was going great until one of the men thought his cards should have been the winning hand. A shouting argument ensued, and all of the men were standing around the table. It was getting very heated. All of a sudden there was a gush of wind from the log-fire. The deck of cards all blew away toward the fire and the devil’s face appeared out of the smoke. Next thing the cards came flying back and one of them hit the mirror on the main wall. The mirror cracked all the way down thru the middle; everyone ran from the room. The mirror and fireplace is still there now. People can now go and walk on guided tours around Castletown House. But I was a young boy who lived there and was always afraid of that room.” ‘Great blessings & happiness’

Eileen Ó Donnaibhin, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin. “I have travelled the world with my husband, Donnacha, and made many “ friends along the way. We loved to travel and see different cultures. I think in all my life memories, the ones I best remember and love to talk are around my two daughters Nuala and Aideen. Myself and my husband couldn’t have children of our own. When we put in to adopt a child, we thought we were blessed with our first little girl Nuala, but two years later we were blessed to have the chance to adopt again: our second daughter Aideen. They have brought us so much joy and happiness throughout our lives; we couldn’t ask for more. We now have beautiful grandchildren as well. My husband lived to be 100 years old and I am 93 years young. I still love my make-up, jewellery and stylish clothing.” ‘The soldier who ran’

Mary Harris, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin. “When I was younger I didn’t date much. I enjoyed the company of my family and work colleagues. We went everywhere together. I was very close to my sister, Sadie; we were great friends. My mother died when we were young, so myself and Sadie looked after the younger ones. I remember one time I did find someone to love - a soldier. I told him to call for me at seven o’ clock and we would go to the cinema together. Well the look on Sadie’s face when she opened the door to my soldier boy – she ran him from the door and told him never to come back again! Well that was the end of my love life! I never saw him again and I never married. Sadie did marry and had a family. Perhaps it’s a case of what might have been but myself and Sadie went on to live together and I enjoyed a very happy life with her.”

‘Make friends who’ll laugh with you’

By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare. When we are young and carefree we never think of old age. The years pass, we get married, we have children, they grow up and we hope we live to see our grandchildren. I’m sure everybody would like to live to old age. One very important thing in life is to be happy. Whatever course you take in life, be content in your work. Being involved in sport helps you stay healthy and fit. Make friends and have a chat and a laugh. There is an old saying: ‘laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone’. “I am now 94 years-of-age and a resident of Parke House Nursing Home and I could not be happier. There is something to suit all tastes including music, cards, bingo and discussion groups. One thing that’s very important if and when you need care in a Nursing Home is to check out which home suits you best and supplies suitable entertainment. Be reconciled to the fact that you need this attention. Make friends and other residents and try to settle in. You will get used to the routines; I know it’s different for some especially if bedridden but try and keep a positive attitude, possibly by reading and TV. Mobile phones are very important, they keep you in touch with what’s happening in the local area and if you feel lonely you can always ring a friend and have a chat. ”