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1-31-1986 The oN va Knight Volume 4: Number 8 Nova Southeastern University

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VOL 4, NO. 8 Nova College JANUARY 3_1, 1986 Crime Scene at Nova The Draft

Since December, 1985, it seems Lot. She had parked and locked John Hartsell confided to me American Forecaster by Kim as if Nova has been the victim of her car to go to work at 4:00 that he was taking some small Lonbg and Terry Reim.) p.m. About 6:00 p.m., she went an important issue that rages risk in changing the newspaper's Item: I have a friend in the across all college campuses, out to Wendy's to get dinner but format. "We need a good front­ Navy who has buddies in the namely vandalsim. In December, couldn't because her tire was page article, Steve." To be honest, Anny. This is a story that flat. Her mechanics_ said two Nova Undergraduate Day what could I write which would comes to you third hand Division students reported that the tire had been slashed. be more than sweet space-filler? (Army to my friend, Navy to vandalism to their automobiles. Sue had to pay $50.00 for a new Something worth reading might me, me to you). Here goes: This vandalism occurred while tire. come from what I distilled from Soldiers in U.S. uniform are in their cars were parked and The latest act of vandalism my vacation's skim-reading list Honduras on what amounts to locked in the student parking occurred on Wednesday, Emile, Scientific Revolutions, active duty · but they do not area to the south of Parker December 8 , 1986 between 1-5 2001, 2010, The Early History receive the bonus due them if p. m. to Loraine Richings. Ms. Building. of Roma (Livy), and some articles they were at war. They are The first vandalism-theft inci­ Richings works in the Registrar's from the Miam i Herald, Sun doing everything that a soldier dent was reported by Ron Walters. office on the third floor in the Sentinel. Let's be honest, the at war would do, but. they receive Parker Building. A · Knight books were great in chapters, no official bonus · just a status reporter obtained the following but sixteen days is hardly called "TGY'. If the US Congress 1. One Escort radar detector valued information when interviewing enough time to read more than had declared war, then these at $250.00. Ms. Richings. Ms. Richings had fifteen pages, so I focused on soldiers would be receiving returned from lunch at 1:00 p.m. listening to stories by some 2. $ 7 .00 in change special payments because of and parked her car on the west buddies who are in the armed their position. Since war has not side of the Parker Building in the 3. one visor clip forces and pondering the been declared with Nicaragua, employee/teacher parking lot absurdity of scenarios proposed these soldier's don't get the She remembers that it was rain· 4. damage to the illuminating system in two films, 2010 and Red special benefits but they are in his car therefore causing repair ing that afternoon. Upon return­ Dawn. given the status at least costs. ing to her car at 5:00 p. m. to go home, she was horrified to see a lttm: Red Dawn Item: fve heard that there 5. One 4 oz. bottle of Polo cologne. "bunch of wires" instead of her Assumes that "America are U.S. Marine recon­ brand new Blaupunk cassette/ stands alone." naissance companies in AmFm car stereo which she had Honduras, but what does Ron's statement to a Knight received as a Christmas present Item: Roy Schieder in 2010, recon mean? reporter revealed that the robber the week before. She told the has to face down the space Webster's suggests "investi· was someone who "knew what Knight reporter that the Davie commander (the woman who gating without making contact, they were doing.'' police stated the robber had played the lover of Baryshnikov without attacking, observing." Ron had parked his car towards used a" Slim Jim" to gain entry in Whtie Nights) and just 24 (It actually says "a preliminary the rear of the parking lot, rolled into the car, and there was no years from now, the Soviet survey to gain information"). up the windows, and locked th e way to take fingerprints because Union and the USA are fighting Suppose for a moment · this is car before entering the Parker the inside of the car, around the over Central America · open hypothetical, of course · that Building for class. When walking dash and driver's seat was warfare, because some nut in a these reconnainaissance units towards his car after his one p. m. soaked with rain. battleship does to a Russian are responsible for more than class, he noticed the visor, above After reading the above carrier what the Soviet Union "surveying". Suppose that they the driver's seat down. He incidents of vandalism reported did to that airplane which flew take all measures necessary to wondered how that could be be­ at Nova within the past month, off course out of Korean air· make sure no US soldier gets cause he "knew that he had re­ one might ask, · How can these space. "The Soviet vessel split left behind on Nicaraguan soil? turned it to the up position before horrible things happen at a in two and eight hundred sailors Does that say something about he had left the car." Upon en­ smal~ friendly school like Nova? drowned." uhoh. what is going on down there? trance into the car, he saw that his The reality is that they have That's proof enough for me, radar detector was gone, along happened and measures must Item: The article in the Sun­ friends. Who was it that drew a with $7.00 in change that had now be instituted to prevent Sentinel. Jan. 1 reads ; link between Southeast Asia been in full view in the tray be­ further vandalsim acts on Nova "The US teenage population is and Central America? Besides tween the two front seats. Upon Campus. shrinking and one of the first growing great bananas in both investigation, he discovered the A Knight reporter spoke with areas to be affected is the military. regions, rd say both places have other articles listed either missing one of the Physical Plant Unable to fill their volunteer a history of "American inter­ or damaged Ron immediately directors. He stated that Physical quotas, the branches of the vention and aggression in a state called Nova security and the Plant is going to do everything in armed forces that recently have of undeclared war." That's clear Davie Police. its power to wipe out vandalism been enjoying the highest level enough for me. One and a half weeks later, at Nova University. Current of competency ever for enlistees Sue Coe, had her back right tire proposed ideas are tigheter are likely to turn to the draft But what can we do? slashed while her car was security and more specified car within a few years to make up for Here's a tip from "Making parked in the Student Parking patroling. this shortfall. (An extract from your voice hear in Washington": . E.A. Conl on Page 2 Draft .. fr<.,m Cover

Making Your Voice lators. There are at least two sides to every issue - and some­ Mourning The Loss Of Heard in times dozens. Legislation is a complex process that involves Washington compromise. Judicial Branches 10. Include a return address " ... of Joe's blue eyes began to mist" Your voice matters. Elected and sing your name legibly. Christmas is a time of joy and a fell to ill times and to the voracious officials rely on constituents' State family or work connections time of cheer, appetites of fellow seafarers) mail to gauge back- home reaction related to the issue which may a time of parties and too whose untimely and distasteful to proposed legislation. Letters serve as identification when much beer, your particular point of view is death (A-1 Sauce was not yet to legislators have more impact a time of love for you and me, considered. invented) was the cause of a if some simple guidelines are a time of kidnapping 11. Getto know more about landmark trial (I believe it was followed: if you are a tree. your legislators. Know their Parker vs. Weight Watchers The night of the Nova College Anonymous). The highlight of the 1. Identify your legislators. committee assignments and their vting records. This kind of in­ Christmas party was a night to go lecture was the donation of the If you do know know who your down in history. Not only were tree, in Richard Parker's name, to representative and senators are, formation is readily available in the halls decked with holly, there the legal studies students who contact your local Board of public libraries. Try the Almanac were brawls decked, decked, and were charged with the task of Elections or League of Women of American Politices or the Congressional Directory. decked. The Persian War exercise protecting the tree (for relation see Voters. was the highlight of the evening "Chosen" in Elfstonesof Shannara). 2. Get the address right. What do you say peers? rm and outshined and occurance of The tree was firmly potted and The Honorable out of danger from the draft, but greater problematic importance. placed at the entrance to "the United States Senate The misfortune, which has shaken second floor landing" and was for· Washington, D.C. 20510 you sub-26ers are not. the stability of new legal studies ,ever to act as the legal studies Dear Senator This sounds like an issue for program was the theft of the mascot The tree prospered and or the House's Foreign Affairs program's living masco~ I am the college students grew fond of 3The Honorable Committee. The chairman and referring to none other than the it One could often see a future House of Representatives four of 42 members are from Richard Parker Memorial Tree. lawyer cooing and purling to its Washington, D.C. 20515 Florida. Broward County's The tree was donated by the green leaves. Dear Congressman Larry Smith is one; others are Executive Legal Studies Coun­ However. on the night of the Dear Congresswoman Connie Mack, Dan Mica, Buddy selor in the Day Division, Dr. Joe Christmas Party, terror struck 3. Identify the bill or issue MacKay and Chairman Dante Lakovitch. The warm-hearted The Richard Parker memorial tree you're concerned with. Be as Fascell. professor dcnated the tree at his was stolen. Some believe it was specific as you can - name the Pretty impressive seeing how first lecture earlier this year. The kidnapped by Libyan death squads, bill by number or popular title. Florida has 11 .4 million or less than 5 percent of the US lecture was dedicated to Richard You can uysually get detailed Cont. on Page 4 Parker (an English seaman who information about legislation by population and almost 10% of calling or writing the legislative the seats on the Foreign Affairs know that only a comic genius can committee which deals with committee. These guys would find the humor in an every day such issues. like to hear from you. ARfS circumstance? Take for instance 4. Make your letter timely. Dig this: The Senate has a "Dirty Socks" they may not seem Write while your legislators still "Select Committee on Ethics" funny to you now, but hey let's (202) 224-2981. "Jurisdiction Hideaway have time to take effective Well Well Well not talk sock-talk Sure Pll admit I action Once a bill is out of includes investigations of alle­ parodize certain comedic talents; Dave my boy, now you've really committee or passed, there may gations of improper conduct but the whole premise of my done it I guess you've exposed be little they can do. and violations of the law; viola­ column is a parody. And besides. my flagrant attempts at comedy. tions of the Senate Code of where do you think those guys get 5. Write a persona) letter. But you know Dave, life is just a official conduct" Does this in­ their material? Well I think the Form letters and petitions are series of events that have been clude investigating the ethical answer is, pretty clear - It's all catered to my personal comedic far less effective. Your legislators status of aggressive action borrowed from me. 0. K now the needs. Plagerism, HA I laugh at already know the positions of against other nations? Members records straight interest groups. Give them the include Sen. Jesse Helms (North the word. Whoever made that So EXCUSE ME.. ... benefit of your own insights and Carolina) and Russell Long of word up was copying me. Did you experience. Louisiana. Is that Long as in Air Roloff 6 . Be brief. Discuss only one Huey Long? Is that the Jesse issue in each letter. State this who received campaign contri­ who seek to undermine the issue right up front Your letter butions from tobacco growers? framer's original intents! is one of thousands your legislator Can a person separate the con­ receives each week. sequences of his actions from "Hey, this depressing subject word order lacks power to point 7. State your reason for the rightness or wrongness of an is a lousy way to start the college out the gravity of the situation, taking your stand, and be issue? Can Helms vote against paper's first issue of 1986." This but this piece will displace constructive. If you think a bill tobacco subsidies without think­ could have been a list of some "Guido's Misadventure of New is the wrong way to deal with a ing of the next election? things to do before you do the Year's Eve" or a "hat I did over rpoblem, suggest what you think first reading assignmePt for vacation" sharing. As Eddie is the right approach. Your Item: The Federalist Papers 1986. Maybe it would be more Murphy said in the Saturday legislators can be convinced. make interesting reading for entertaining to call this:" Activity Night Live re-run (oxymoron 8. Try to relate first-hand a student who has assumed for a Rainy day: Call a congress­ alert!) , "Merry Christmas, knowledge of community that we have a system that man. Ask him to find out the Dammitl'' needs to national legislation works for everyone: A chat possibility of removing Garcia Include hometown editorials. with the professors of poli­ Marquez from the Immigration - Steve Conger 9. Be courteous. Never tical philosophy on campus Service's black list Use a friends' threaten. Never make promises. might convince you to in­ calling card if possible. But Don't pretend to wield vast poli­ vestigate these documents when Mr. Hartsell told me he tical influence. Don't demand further and to learn to fear wanted a lead story. I had to be commitments from your legis- people like Edwin Meese honest these issues are worth t worrying about My choice of The Editor

To Whom it may concem·(and Amando)

According to proper proceduru any material used in an original work. that was taken from another source. must be credited to the originator of that material In Amanda's latest enthralling you know what I mean. Why is it column. he not on1Y._ quoted ver· Robin always says "Holy.. . ?" :t,atim some of th,z ~est comedy Ari's And no one ever kills the dynamic material ever wntten, he actually duo in a regularfashion Instead had the audacity to 'improve' it. Hideaway of just shooting Batman in the Steve Martin. one of the greatest head: a "Speciar villain spends comedians ever to draw air into Saludos my daahlings and millions of dollars to fry Batman his lungs. was one unfortuante welcome to the Hideaway. 1 like an egg. or make him into a victim. Amando boldly states hope your holiday was as good human ice c:ream cone. B.ut ~ ... Andy Rooney: omnipi:esent. as mine was.Amando spent the doesn't he "look" maahvelous purple. and clairvoyent" These last week of December in an even then? Robin isn't too smart words were unmercifully excised Assertiveness training camp. I though. He's always askiag from "Grandmothers Song· from learned how to say. " No 1 don't Batman who they're fighting. side 2 of Martin's 1977 album. want any more eggnog. Dammil! Just because Caesar Romero is " Let's Get Smalr. The perpetrator The Student Body Christmas dressed like a clown is no reason has rearranged the words with the Party started out the holidays to believe he's the Joker. It assumption thar no mortal would with a bang. and you know who must take years ofM Bat· Research" be clever enough to carch his you are. Amanda himself to figure that one out Holy· error. The correct phrase is·. .. Be showed up and looked maah· Jokerama daahlings. What obsequious. purple. and clairvoyant velous. A couple of my friends about that maahvelous Penguin' be dull bonng and omnipresenL.• . went Jim Beam. Johnnie Walker. He looks ... stucid Just be Don'! get me wrong 1 have none and oh yes. don· t forget there thankful Robin doesn't say: but the utmost respect for this are no losers in Women's Body .. Holy.Bird-Bath Batman," literary genius, but lets give credit Building. Super Dave rolled when he figures out who the where credit is due. into the New Year. Yes. he looked little man dressed like Pansy­ Exhibit B: "Remember this is maahvelous. rolling around on The-Petuni.11 is. only an exhibitiol\ not a ccmpetitiol\ the ffoor. praying to Voodoo Oh \./ell rlaahlings that's it for please no wagcrin!;"' This. as any gods to save his soul from a the dynamic·duo. Arnando true David Letterman fan know$. Witch-Queen. would like ynur help in marketing is one of Dave·s popular'phrases·. He caressed the ffoor with a his new line of Latin grooming I am entirely pleased with the passion unknown to mosr men. aids. I have the new Huevos· re"'' :·,,_.,. ·of his column. and I But my daahlings. I do hope you Rancheros hair gel maahv11?lous. have thoroughly enjoyed all of his had a good time. I know the My new line of Arros·con·pollos previouis colum{ol bur I do hope floor was enjoying itself. facial. and daahlings my favorti Arnando will be a bit more careful You know daahlings. rve after-shave has the aroma of when wnting his next column. been keeping an eye on the pinto b~ans. Dynamic Duo · Batman and · Please stay tun1td fer fan club NOTE: Wh~n Amanda· s fan club Robin. What has happened to info. is form~d I would be honored to them over the years" Why 1s it And r1tmemner. it is b~rt~r to. bt! a membt!r In fact. I b1tli1tvv I Robin always shaved his legs? look good than to f"1f.!I good will submit my candidacy for Did Batman only like young Presidency. men in tight panty house. or was ·Ari Roloff On a more serious note. I do Robin really a super· hero? And hope Mr. Roloff can leam from this experi,,mce. and I hope he does not take this criticism per­ sonally. I think he's a swell guy. By the way. "'Would you INAlffl~ pin. and be my b-tch'" .. And you know who you are!"

R1tspectfully.

·• Super'' Dave Antonoff Director Wants To Meet With. Students THE CORNER In recent weeks, the Director of not follow any conduct format the college, Dr. Phil DeTurk has they will simply be discussion exhibited an extra-effort in his The purpose is to encourage attempts to" get to knOIN the students'. student Director relations. The BOOK He has: donated his custom made discussions will center around suggestion-box to THE NOVA problems, suggestions and KNTGHT(for Letters to the Editory. questions which both parties may been a guest speaker at a recent have. Dr. DeTurk is giving the EXCHANGE SGA meeting and has called for students their opportunity to monthly meetings with the students. address him concerning most any Every month, Dr. DeTurk college problem (Le. , Student would like to meet with students in Union). The dates and times of a nonformal atmosphere. All the meetings will be posted and students would be welcome to all students will be asked to attend attend but the presence of club and organization representatives - Jeffrey Grimm is necessary. The meetings will

John my Goethe." Or perhaps your .:~ Houseman mom will be visiting and say, "The l cigar ash doesn't mix well with Sells His Intellect these pages, dear''. Take a ;1f O ,,; . J1)-0J moment and groan with me. I . . It is difficult to believe that a respected journal of the future, Please Mr. Houseman! DISCOVER, (with a special report "You will acquire only one great titled" America in 2035: New York personal library in your lifetime. I H City permanently flooded If only Why not chose the best? politicians had heeded warnings First, is this an appeal for the Ju. about carbon dioxide build-up national campaign to read presi­ and global warming in 1985") dent Carter's autobiography. would be the target for an assault Second, is it possible to say on our Shark FIN intelligence. will about something so personar? Readers of the magazine pre­ So uniquely square and ostentatious sumably share an awareness of as seeking to acquire a library? the probmes which environmental Now I lay me down to rest 1pray I hazards pose for future generations. never seek the best I hope I We can assume that they want to always buy my books with regard do something or see something to how they looks. (Don't worry) done to reverse these trends. Best books like virgins can't be DISCOVER seems an unlikely dated their value falls when an­ audience for John Houseman to notated demonstrate his mercenary side, Please Easton Press located in NOVA UNIVERSITY especially since many law students Norwalk, CT. not the depressing probably read the magazine for its steel town of Pennsylvania Forget four-page spreads on fast cars. In the ad copy stolen from a funeral the January 1986 issue, Ford in­ preparations commercial SCHOOL SUPPLIES troduces a car with a fine zodiacal Because of the extraordinary name, The Bui~ but the fancy care required in printing and photography doesn't appeal to the binding the books are issued on bibliophile like the pages 5-8 per month. Give us a break 100 4134 S.W 64 Avenue where Houseman's image domin­ books means eight years before I ates almost45% of the paid-space. get all the books. Hey, I know I To a legal studies studentour read slowly but what's the point Davie, Florida 33314 champion of the bar exam would At $37.50 each, I could pay for not haw~ us break rules of logic in one third of the Lee Iaccoca off­ arriving at legal conclusions. Does spring or save to Ethiopians. his love of the obvious and old Why don't we learn how to fashioned extend to hoping we will read? How come we are not COLLEGE TEXTBOOKS lisen to his pitch for books? Let's taught not to write in books? What face it a $35 book is not what you is the point of highlighting sections bring to college to study, nor can when all we know is that at the 792-7778 you read it in front of a toasty fire. time we read the passage, it "You'll spill beer and bourbon on seemed important

Steve Conger 3 Mourning. .. from P;-\g_C 2 ' at least a listen or two. However, Rather than rely exclusively on Album you may be better off buying the new stuff, (a la Br4ce Dickenson), bu~ whether it was kidnapped by SUN CITY 12", and/ or sending in the album is fairly well split between towel· heads or stolen by bone· Reviews a contribution And if anyone new and old, with Bruce proving headed boozed-up students with asks ya', tell' em "I ain't gonna play he can handle Paul DiAnnds brutal smaller !Q' s than the number of Artists United Against Sun City!". vocals in his own unique way. finger~ 0n a single hand (the Apartheid Sun City. Well produced by Martin Birch th umb ;·iot being considered a The Dream Academy (Sabbath, Purple) and recorded fingerj, the tree is gone. 1985 will certainly be known as with the Rolling Stones Mobile in I am tryi:1g to reach Crime· the year music came to everyone's Excellent debut from this UK California and London, LIVE stoppers, but in the meantime, I aid We saw charity songs about trio. Though they may look very AFTER DEATH is a fine example will put out a student all-points subjects from suicide prevention Thompson Twins, THE DREAM of the hard driving metal your bulletin. If anyone has knowledge to feeding the world We saw ACADEMY music is far more mother used to yell at you for of the whereabouts of the Richard Live-Aid, Farm-Aid, AIDS-Aid, intense and intellectually demand­ listening to. parker Memorial Tree (5 ft ta]~ Hearing-Aid and a whole sleugh ing than the Twins'. Produced by potted with Richard Parker of other charitable publicity stunts. Pink Floyd Guitarist David Gilmour, · Barry Feingold plaque on the side, green leaves, One of the least publicized of his influence at the helm is ob­ Women and the Law withdrawal these events is SUN CITY, anti· vious. That's not saying THE All Albums Reviewed Supplied slips mulched in as fertilizer, dirt, Apartheid-Aid DREAM ACADEMY sounds like By: void of any cankers, and containing Former Springsteen guitarist, Floyd, because they don't If no identifying birth marks) please Miami Steve Van Zandt isn't the anything THE DREAM ACADEMY Peaches Records and Tapes contact THE NOVA KNIGHT at first musician to speak out against are more similar to Gilmour's solo 8160 W. Broward Blvd, Pltn. 4 75-9527 or leave an anonymous South Africa's Apartheid rule. efforts, or to The Psychedelic Furs tip in our suggestion box located Stevie Wonder has been arrested in their heavy use of cello and next to the elevator, second floor symphonic instruments. Parker. several times protesting outside the South African embassy. Peter But THE DREAM ACADEMY Legal studies majors, your job, Gabriers 1978 song "Biko" album is unique. To compare it to should you chose to accept it, is to provided the inspiration for SUN other works is to take away from go out and destroy new civiliza· CITY. the originally and complexity of tions and boldly threaten and inter­ SUN CITY is more for artists this fine debut One good listen to vene where no human has before. .. than for fans. It is a plea by many the first single "Life In A Northern oops, sorry, not all of you are top: pop, jazz, rock and rap Town" should be enough to con· Sports Republican lame-duck Presidents musicians to their fellow musicians vince you THE DREAM ACADEMY so instead I deputize all students not to play at Sun City. Sun City, a will be a potent force in music in and faculty in the name of our Report multi-million dollar Las Vegas style the coming years. By far the best forthcoming law faternity, Phi for Dec./ 20, '85 Jan. 8, 86 casino in the slum of Bophuthat­ new band of the decade thus far. Alpha Delta, and cry out for investi­ swana, serves as a symbol of gations to end the exacerbations Nothing much: four students Apartheid segregation policies. Iron Maiden of this abomination went skiing, five went wind­ Though Sun City attempts to Live After Death This reporter approached the surfing, the rest played indoors. appear desegregated, few blacks adopted father of the tree for a With LIVE AFTER DEATH, Iron Loo k for the basketball season can afford to attend Artists such comment on the situation but Maiden proves that the icon of the to end before March and anti­ as Stevie Wonder and Diana Ross avoided continuing the topic when 70's record industry, the double cipate tug-o-war challenge be· have turned down six and seven or Joe's blue eyes began to mist live album, is far from dead tween the Nova College Dorms figure contracts to play Sun City. Let us hope he does not have to Recorded during Maiden's 11 and the cleaning personnel Miami Steve and other Artists recreate Jack Lemmon's role in month, 24 country World Slavery I(" Janitorial Engineering meets United Against Apartheid are the movie Missing Tour, LIVE AFTER DEATH the Grubs"). urging all artists not to play Sun features all the usual live album City. (Note: the thieves can be courte­ accessories; Equipment Lists, tour · Steve Conger Unfortunately, the music on the ously thanked for their major role schedules, merchandise order album is not as good as the cause in the recent decision prohibiting forms, lots of shots of the band is valiant Although dozens of top all types of alcohol from Nova mugging at the camera at various parties.) stars were recruited for the SUN locales, etc. Since Maiden re­ Wanted CITY sessions (Springsteen, hearsed for the tour right here in Dylan, Bono, Geldof, Jimmy Cliff, (Further Note: I think I shall never South Florida, one photo even Ari's column: Not found in Miles Davis, Jackson Browne, see shows the band at play at Six Flags time for this issue. Please report Herbie Hancock, Fat Boys, Hall A poem as lovely Atlantis. The album also features to John Hartsell any wandering and Oates are but a few), only two as a tree vital stats no Maiden fan would columns bearing the following versions of the albums title track Through Parker dare be without For example, on description: truly convey the spirit in which the the thieves did enter the 250 concert tour, the band album was intended Sadly, once· I wish we had had our went through 50,000 cans of beer, Two inches wide, fourteen in-a-lifetime combinations such as Student Center.) 30,000 soft drinks, 6,000 pints of inches long, Corinthian fluting, Peter Gabriel and Shankar or milk 2,500 pints of orange juice, a wide cylindrical base, all Bono, Keith Richards and Ron · John Hartsell 7,778 hotel rooms, 6,392 guitar materials in Ionian marble, with Wood fai~ and the results, though strings, 3,670 drum sticks, 3,008 a Doric headstone worthy only not unbearable, are certainly not guitar picks and traveled more of supporting a misplaced outstanding. The pop, jazz and than 100,000 miles. They also statue, such as Gumbie does rock audience for which SUN became the first heavymetal band New York or the Accento lberiano, CITY was intended will find it to play behind the Iron Curtain, the widely · sought, often· ignored fairly inaccessible, as some fine doing several gigs in Poland pile of Fecal Marble lost when musicians are lost behind blaring If finding out what type of in­ the Good Ship Lollipop left Port drum machines. struments they use and seeing lots Everglades an hour early, allow· You could do worse than buying of photos of the band isn't enough ing Ari to roll off his sun chair and SUN CITY. The cause is certainly to interest you, rest assured LIVE narrowly miss his deadline. good enough, and the interesting AFTER DEATH contains a fine combinations are probably worth selection of Maiden material · Steve Conger 4 off with a 24· hour GO ING- OUT­ Raping South Florida. obsession for goose liver. Prof Predictions OF- BUSINESS sale after the Tooley of University of Queens­ SGA announces plans to open The leaders of the Nova land, Australia will receive a Forl986 an on- campus bookstore. College's Forum on Women's golden egg for his part in show· Issues will have some good news ing how rational persons who Other Predictions · and some bad news. The nation believe abortion is OK must The First Surprise of 1986 · Nova College will receive a will force Congress to push a therefore get over their nausea Davie still has two book stores transfer student from the Alliga­ comprehensive legislative act about infanticide and their on Davie Road Extension! ·rhis tor, U of Florida's independent called "The People's Right To complacent attitude toward writer joins the other flabber­ newspaper, who will assume Choose Act'' by June .as a result mistreatment of animals. gasted readers of THE NOVA leadership of the business of the media attention drawn to Tooley will make a particularly KNIGHT in cheering the slaughter. management of THE NOVA women's issues during the poignant plea for animal factor· At the Corner Book Exchange, I KNIGHT John Hartsell will spend March on Washington in March. ies to "quit harming" these received a spiral notebook in his final year at Nova in relative The legislation eventually, conscient entities." Frank Purdue appreication for my patronage. bliss finding time to read all of passes and the ERA goes into will go out of business and Did I hear boos from the students Leo Strauss' works between effect in 1987. The full pro­ Chicken McNuggets will go bye­ who would rather have us taking credits per 16 weeks and visions of the act will cover a bye. Chains will reopen after support the underdog? Never preparing a 150-page thesis (re· wide range of issues, lumping name changes to read "Kentucky mind the past, I say, and who written fourteen times on his euthanasia and abortion with a Flied Throughbred" and "Pd Folks cares if the new book store is Joyful Atari 52051). The Alliga· moratorium on animal experi· Can't Eat Heah." Menus will read, forty- five large paces closer to the tor defector will import four menting and lesbian snubbing. "All ingredients were raised in college. In fairn ess I will report buddies from Gainesville, hail· (Spouse-abuse will be outlawed Tooley-approved environments that Nova Books still has the ing Nova as the last frontier by this act and requests to empty and experienced painless and "Open" sign up and the lights available to rejected trainees for the garbage during a Air Force· stress-free exits from biological on, so the competition rages on. The Village Voice. the college Texas A&M game will result in existence." Jokes about ethical What can we expect for the paper will be published twice a suits claiming psychological treatment of animals and "a seven­ future? The "Giveaway War': week in a newspaper format impairment and sexual dis· teen· year old in Saigon" will pens, more notebooks and with eight-page supplements function. replace gay, Polish and Ethiopian discounted T-shirts. Discounted during the Miami Book Fair, The "Ethics for Animals" jokes. Pate' do fole grasse will books (misorders and outdated Miami Film Festival, the Fort provision of the Act will create a triple in price three times in less editions of textbooks) and Olde Lauderdale celebration of zoological stir. Thirty thousand than eight months, leading the US English grammar cards. Canadian Independence and geese will make a fifteen-city Administration to abandon its war We expect this to continue the Boca Raton Conference on tour to congratulate the inhabi· on drugs in order to stop importation until both have killed each other Real Estate's Duty to Continue tants of Earth for giving up their Cont on Page 7

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6 Predictions .. from Page 6

stopping only in the last week of February writing the sports Falwel~ AIDS, food allergies, il­ of illegal livers, including human each term, and hitting every class column for the entire year, making literacy and an insensitivity to livers dressed to smell like gosse­ except the Humanities Depart­ numerous mistakes and even constructive criticism. In desper­ bumps. ment Business majors will flee to remembering to put the title "Mr." ation to solve the mid-decade study legalese, not out of respect in front of the basketball coach's bla~ the Director will look through The bad news for Nova College's for Constitutional history or out of name. No complaints will be his files and find a brochure Forum for Women's Issues will be a sense of duty-as-a-citizen, but received from either players of delivered anonymously 8 months that the net profit of the year's bake motivated solely by a Hobbesian readers of The Nova Knight (note before telling about a super sales will fall 20%, over 1985, "in-cell-igence", as it will be later the lack of union between sets A fluorescent bulb that simulates leading the group to vote to called a primitive, pre-civilized and B) and Mr. Onigbinde will sunlight and costs twice what bulbs donate blood in hopes of getting gene will be identified in the 21st receive a forty-inch color 1V and at K- Mart cost Without letting the more media attention and maybe Century as the force which reversed a VCR in appreciation of his con­ student body know, the Director, an angel to send them to Rekjavik nearly-disastrous trend of robbing tribution to the PR campaign run driven half-mad with threats of to celebrate the first anniversary of Plato to pay Adam Smith, Chicago by the Office of University Relations suicide from the faculty, and fear­ the Women Stop Work Day." First National and Bebe Rebozo. The VCR will have an input for ing the enormous task of finding The surprising result will not be holographic display and during replacements to work for such low The feared pen of Guido will realized until 2019 when six of the presentation of the award, Joel pay teaching the incorrigible return in a ghoulish resemblance nine Supreme Court Justices will will press the wrong button and be misfits of the eighties, will secretly to Nightmare on Elm Stree~ have been appointed by parents of available in the future for only 2 install all of the bulbs on a Satur­ complete with the bookworm's students who had graduated from hours at a time. If quality of the day night The good news will be sense of macabre. With tatoos of Nova's Legal Studies Program. holographic image isn't importan~ that the AIDS, food allergies and Jeane Kirkpatrick and Bob Dylan, Other pleasant side-effects of the the extended-play position of 360 bibliophobia will disappear imme­ and phonetic spellers reading renewed interest in the past will be minutes would be available were it diately but in the wave of rational "Can you say 'supply-side the establishment of the Leo not for Joels insistence that viewers thought which will return to the economics', boys and girls?" the Strauss Memorial in Parker Room be able to count the number of campus (was it ever here?), the worm will enter, Rambo-like, the 203 and the discovery of a tree, pearly whites he displays when suggestion box overflows with ears of students who spend less planted in 1985 in memory of complaining "I don't get no respect" letters of resignation from pro­ than two hours per week at a Jose Arcadio Buendia, on the east and sharing Nigerian folk wisdom fessors seeking better paying library reading about animal ethics. of a pond located less than two ("Who Cares?"). positions at institutions which An epidemic of ear infections will hundred feet north of the Mailman don't claim to be at the center of seem to sweep through campus, building. The second floor of Parker Build­ Innovation and which light build­ ing has over 1,400 fluorescent ings the old-fashioned way. In Sports, Joel Onigbinde will lights (23 banks by 27 banks by4 spend the first two weeks of lights per bank) which will be The final precidition: this page revealed to be causing depression, will be covered with more bird

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7 Maltese Falcon, The Magnificient Obsession {1954) Films For Manchurian Candidate, The Man With the Golden Arm, The Sports Night Moves Marat/Sade New Year Wishes ancl Students North by Northwest Marriage of Maria Braun, The Obsession (1976) McCabe and Mrs. Miller Hopes For: Dr. Steven E. Alford, Nova's Rear Window O n the Waterfront Road Warrior, The resident film expert, has com· Sunset Boulevard Robert, Nicky, Sam and John Scarface (1932)/Scarface (1983) piled a list of movies for Nova To Catch a Thief Hartsell - increased doses ol Terminator, The College Students. To Have and Have Not arrnabolic steroids. Thief Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf? Thin Man, The (1934) - FUN FILMS- Philip Henriques· More exercises, Third Man, The less cigarettes/ 'tato skins. Music - Thomas Crown Affair, The Wait Until Dark Sport Gimmie Shelter Steve Savage and Woody - More Witness For the Prosecution Harder They Come, The haircuts by Heather. Last Waltz, The Revenue for Comedy- Rose, The Jaime Ochoa/Little Sean - Bench Arsenic and Old Lace Stop Making Sense Nova press 500 lbs. each. This is Spinal Tap Blazing Saddles Born Yesterday On December 17, 1985, Dania Lisa and Elena· Wear more leotards Youthful- Bringing Up Baby Jai-Alai held one of its charity Dr. Strangelove Baby, It's You events. This one was for Nova The Volleyball team · Don't lose It Happened One Night Breaking Away University. Further inquiries re· your looks please. Easy Rider My Favorite Year vealed that as a law, all parimutuals Network Flamingo Kid, The must hold events that benefit non­ The Soccer and Basketball teams Ripoux, Les Never Cry Wolf profit organizations. - more wins, less losses - WINNING Ruling Class, The Rebel Without a Cause To qualify, such organizations SEASONS! Romeo and Juliet (ZeffirellL 1968) Taming of the Shrew, The (1967) submit their names to the pari· Wild One, The mutuals and their names are added Adminsitration · Think about a Drama - to already existing lists. The pari­ gym for the students. Adventure/Mystery All the President's Men mutuals then choose a day and an Badlands Atlantic City organization; the proceeds from Barry Kaplan · Adapt a straight Big Sleep, The (1946) Blue Dahlia, The the events go to the non-profit footed stance. Blade Runner Bridge Over the River Kwai, The organization. Nova is on five lists· Blood Simple Five Easy Pieces Gulfstream, Hollywood Dog Tracks, />. .1urJong-A-Kong- Get more Blow Out Gilda Flagler, Dania Jai·AlaL and scholarships for the volleyball team Body Heat H ud Pompano Tracks. Nova rakes in Learn how to pronounce his own Bonnie and Clyde Hustler, The amounts from $17,000 - $42,000 name. Get additional beauties on Chinatown In the Heat of the Night anually. his team. Conversation, The Inherit the Wind Double Indemnity Jeremiah Johnson - Joel Onigbinde Cont on Page 9 Klute Jezebel

JR's Presents: For Students & Faculty The Nova $1. 99 Lunch Special II (For the month of September 1985) 11 :00-3: 00 .:?- CHOOSE FROM: • 1/4 lb. Char-Burger • Bar-B-Q Chicken • Chicken Breast Sand. • Filet Fish Sandwich • Clam Sandwich • Tuna Sandwich • Char-Dog • Rib Sandwich ,.so Extr•J • 10 Wings (Any Sauce) * Served with a Soda (.25 Refills)* Chips & Pickle Walle On Over 3:00-11:00 For The Best Food $2.99 Dinner Special Jn Town!!. (with Fries & Pickle) 3660 Davie Road (64th Avenue) a 581-0788 8 Sports_ from P~ ~~ R Guess the band name from the clues listed below. Answers appear Coach Hans!cy · Get a true center forward, backwards, up down, SCORPIONSNVKJpURNEYO and players with commitment and diagonal All answers are one LYFHHCHFFDDLKSJFGHFC word (no 'the's). Good Luck Dr. DcTur~ · Organize a sports cxrn...JTEci:;:EAMNOHGSDFHB event invnhina .Administration 1. Clapton, Bruce, Baker BARRYSHHFYRTEVJSEYNL /Faculty. - 2. "25 or 6 tro 4", "Hard For Me To Say rm Sony' KJOHNFIRMA RIRIEHAPOW 3. "Ghost Riders In The Sky'', "Green Grass and High Tides" IGIGLECLAUGHENORSEXS Dr. Alford - Suggest the start of a 4. Jimmy Page, Paul Rodgers Band NKNIGHAHARTAOTURBJGU racquetball team. 5. Ray and Dave Davies Band 6. John, PauL George and Ringo KIFNDGGFU~GKACWITOIP Donna Schaeffer - Gets to show 7. "I Wanna Know What Love Is", "Head Games" SWALTUOUGLNCGDTEL~YE her tennis skills. 8. Dave Edmunds, Nick Lowe one album band ~~BVCXZAEPKXYTSLVJHR 9. Q Are We Not Men? t··.JE:GNE:H(3f;p[t I UYTRDi-'·lERT Dr. Brodman - Revives the Scuba 10. Monison, Manzarek, Kreiger and Densmore MGEHFYRTUMECILOPARER Diving Club. 11. Steve Perry Band, "Don't Stop Believin'" 12. Davy Jones, Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork, and Mickey Dolenz OINBQHARDPOJUYOKJRMA The Student Body· Finally awakens 13. "Breakfast In America", "Take The Long Way Home" NUESUGXQOF'RAMADEVOPM and participates in.existing events. 14. "Come Sail Away", "Mr. Roboto" ~:'.l<:3SEL TAEBNEA>'. Zf;f.,JC})P 15. Diana Ross back-ups, Wilson, Ballard and Martin EAIOEASDFGHJMF'LMK KBE Finally for Me · 16. 60's band featuring (at va1ious times) Clapton, Beck and Page EDSDNZXCV8NML8~~8PAM 1. Get elected as Homecoming 17. Glen Frey, Don Henley, Joe Walsh old band King 18. Ace Frehley, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley and Peter Criss SQAZXSW EDCFKISSISIIN 2. Fall in Love, 19. German metal band, "Rock You Like A Hunicane" LKDFUYIRKHDJFGJFJLHF 3. Smile more often · NEVER! 20. "Get Lucky", "Lovin' Every Minute Of It" YARDBIRDSY FOREIGNERS 21. Mercury, May, Taylor and Deacon · Joel. Onigbinde 22. "Roxanne", "Every Breath You Take" 23. Phil Collins, Mike Rutherford and Tony Banks

· Barry Feingold

Asking Jorge Roman, president To be aware that the Inter· really was an exciting change for What A of NISA about the event, he ex­ national Association is an organi­ Nova University in every cultural posed that the objectives of that zation in the school that has the and social aspect The talent Night event were: purpose of helping the needs of show had a variety of national­ "To welcome new foreign stu· foreign students. ities. There were : the arabic The International Students dents and to give them a hand in To join the whole university as dance, the aztec play, the Japan· Association of Nova University adapting themselves to the new one, through a smile and a friendly esesong, the"you look marvelous'' had an important event last year. environment hand" d ance, an Ecuadorian duet, an It was a night of surprises. First a To join the Intensive English He also wanted to thank the American solo and others. talent show, then a festival of Program students in the activities work of all the people who co n­ Every act deserves a congratu­ international food, and to end of Nova University, because they tributed to the event, actively lation for the effort the students the night, there was a party with are also part of the Nova Inter· participating in or assisting it put on them. international flavor. national Association. All this reporter can say is that, it -LR

S.J.C. ELECTIONS CHAIRMAN ...... Arthur Greenspan SECRETARY...... Jaime Ochoa The Student Judicial Council COUNCILMAN ...... Ari Roloff Elections were held on December COUNCILMAN ...... John Hartsell 11th. The officers elected as COUNCILMAN ...... Philip Henriquez follows: The S.J. C would like to thank the student body for a good tum out, and their concern in Student Government Ari Roloff

Staff: Writers: Dorene Alberts Editor...... _ ...... John Hartsell Steve Conger Ass;~tant Editor...... Elizabeth Armstrong Danny Defoe Business Manager...... Charles Reichenberger Jeffrey Grimm Sports Editor ...... Joel Onigbinde Ari Roloff Entertainment Editor ...... Barry Feingold Juliet Sallette

TheNoua Knight is a weekly publication, written and edited by students of Nova College. Any opinions expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the attitude of the administration, faculty, staff or students. Letters to the editor are encouraged and may be submitted to the newspaper box in room 245 of the Parker Building. Letters must be typed and signed in order to be published and are subject to editing forcondens· ing purposes. Names will be withheld upon request. 9