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Volume 46 Issue 18 THURSDAY JANUARY 12, www.cordwFeKly.com Weinberg, McCracken seek WLUSP presidency

ADRIAN MA will towards WLUSP, and believes News Editor there is a lot of potential in Laurier's student media. Zack Weinberg is currently work- "1 realize that if The Cord would ing on The Gentleman's Guide to want to, they can get people to lis- Getting Elected At Laurier. ten," said Weinberg. "They really Weinberg, author of the contro- do have a wide range of coverage, versial Cord article "The but I think we can represent the Jordan Jocius

Gentleman's Guide to Getting Laid student population a little better." EYES ON THE PRIZE - Kicthener-Waterloo MP Andrew Telegdi makes his case for re-election as challengers (from at Laurier", is competing against If elected as WLUSP president, left) Pauline Richards (Green Party), Amjer Mandur (Conservative) and Edwin Laryea (NDP) look on. Fraser McCracken to be the next Weinberg aims to resurrect adver- President and CEO ofWilfridLaurier tising relations with WLUSU. He Student Publications (WLUSP). wants to encourage readership, The election takes place on and feels that can be accom- Monday, January 16 at 7:00 pm in plished if a wide diversity of writ- the Senate and Board Chamber. Any ers are pulled from Laurier's stu- student that pays WLUSP fees is eli- dent body, which he described as MP hopefuls take gible to vote. "a huge, untapped resource." Running "It's [student media] an area I have against Weinberg is McCracken, expertise in," said Weinberg, who currently serves WLUSP as VP: Finance and aim at Telegdi adding that he wants to "give back the Students' to Laurier." Union as a direc- tor. He believes With the Liberals sagging in the polls, the four-time incumbent MP of Kitchener- "It's [Student media] an area I that the key to improving Student have expertise in," said Weinberg, Pubs is to address the corpora- Waterloo went on the offensive at Laurier's all-candidates debate adding that he wants to "give back tion's bookkeeping needs and to to Laurier." seek out experienced profession- Weinberg and his article gener- als to act as board members. DAN POLISCHUK didate Ajmer Mandur scoffed at form. "When you take care of peo- ated tremendous attention when He also wants to maintain News Editor Telegdi when the Liberal suggest- ple, people will take care of pros- it was published back on Sept. 21. WLUSP's dedication to journalistic ed Tory gun control policy would perity," he explained. The piece divided the student ethics by promising that editorial With the federal debates over and be as non-existent as America's. However, the large crowd saved body, inciting disdain from many content will continue to be unin- less than two weeks to go before Getting quite emotional, Telegdi their loudest applause for Green students who found the writing fluenced by Pubs admin. Jan. 23, the Canadian election bat- further compared the policies Party candidate Pauline Richards' while others argued tleground moved to Laurier on Stephen Harper's Conservative stance on same-sex marriage. She misogynistic, - Please see WLUSP page 4 like for Weinberg's right to free speech. Tuesday afternoon. Party with those of George W. stated the words that seemed Despite all the negative media With the Grits floundering in Bush's Republican regime. what most students wanted to > Editorial reaction to this story on PAGE 6 attention he's received this year, recent polls, the pressure of a hear: "We cele- > Student reaction in VOCAL CORD, PAGE 3 Weinberg said he harbours no ill- horse-race election has trickled From his opening remarks, Telegdi brate diversity in down to the candidates of all forms." Kitchener-Waterloo, even more so was immediately on the defensive, Aside from the on incumbent Andrew Telegdi. national debt and Having served the region for reiterating that he has "never issues surround- four consecutive terms, Telegdi ing foreign aid, the and the Liberal party came under stopped fighting for issues that most frank (and fire often during the debate held humorous) com- for the benefit of Laurier students affect students." ment of the after- in the Senate and Board Chamber. noon came from From his opening remarks, "We are not the Americans," Marxist-Leninist candidate Julian Telegdi was immediately on the Telegdi stated emphatically. Ichim to prove his connectedness defensive reiterating that he has Mandur defended the claim by to the community. "never stopped fighting for the stating that his party will simply "Honestly, I'm thrown in jail for issues that affect students." focus more on stiffer sentences so some of what I do," he said, gaug- He continued to urge voters to that those who do use guns illegal- ing his passion for political look at his political past to see ly cannot get to them in the future. change. what he has accomplished during Another key topic that came While declaring a clear 'winner' his time in parliament. under scrutiny was the health care of the debate would be a futile This did not phase the other system and the increasing length endeavor, one fact remains bla- four candidates as they continual- of wait times. tantly true: it's going to be a fight ly questioned the rationale behind NDP candidate Edwin Laryea to the finish. File Photos Liberal decision-making. made the strongest statement At one point, Conservative can- when expounding his party's plat- the RUNNING MEN - Zack Weinberg (left) and Fraser McCracken. 2￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 News TheCordWeekly Daily Planet host discovers Waterloo

ARLA LATTO-HALL served a 13-year stint as host of Copy Editing Manager CBC Radio's Quirks and Quarks. A book falling between the gen- In the tradition of expressionism, res of philosophy and psychology, renowned artist Van Gogh said, Theatre of the Mind is an accessi- "One may have a blazing hearth in ble read and one highly relevant in one's soul and yet no one ever this age of information. The book comes to sit by it. Passersby see offers no conclusions for its read- only a wisp of smoke rising from ers, but does relate scientific find- the chimney and continue on ings and conveys the mystery of their way." consciousness. Yet just as others fail to recog- It is common knowledge that nize the true nature of one's soul, our minds are never aware of the conscious mind, too, is an out- everything our senses continually sider to the brain and not entirely take in, yet no one has determined aware of everything it holds, as why we focus on what we do and one of Canada's best-known pop- why we're able to command infor- ular scientists came to Waterloo to mation to emerge from our explain. unconscious and into awareness. Waterloo Collegiate Institute Ingram's oft-repeated examples welcomed Jay Ingram into its address the mundane: learning to auditorium last Wednesday, where play the piano, driving, remem- he delivered a lecture titled "Are bering the artist of a song, even you Conscious?" This follows up one's awareness of sitting on a the October 2005 publication of chair. Contributed Photo his latest book, Theatre of the Consciousness, Ingram propos- Mind: Raising the Curtain on es, is "all the stuff that goes on in PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS? - Jay Ingram, Discovery Channel personality and recent author, held an open lec- Consciousness. your head that you're aware of." ture in conjunction with the Perimeter Institute about the ins and outs of human conciousness. The hardworking Ingram is also Scientists, however, have had the host of the Discovery trouble determining the relation- accurately trace the relationship consciousness remains subjective. > Channel's Daily Planet, a weekly ship between brain activity and between neurons transmitting As such, it has been primarily the For the complete interview with Joy contributor to the Toronto Star, consciousness. Since technology information and having the sub- domain of psychologists. Ingram, check out www.cordweekly.com the author of nine books and has has not sufficiently advanced to ject conscious of it, the study of

B?®t- --»Ifß ■ The Corp Weekly| News THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 ￿3

VOCAL CORD

What do you think about Zack Weinberg's bid for the WLUSP Presidency?

"That makes me giggle. More power to him."

- Josh Smyth Second-Year Poli Sci & Economics

Jordan Jocius

TONIGHT'S TOP STORY - CTV News correspondant Lisa LaFlamme makes a stop at Laurier's campus to gain perspective after the last English debate. WLU is located in the heart of a critical riding for this year's federal election.

Lights, camera, activism "If he's president, I'd only assume he'd let more articles like that be printed." CTV News' Lisa LaFlamme reports Monday's election debate from Laurier, the centre of a 'critical riding'

- Kalen Herrmann-Mowling ADRIAN MA ing Iraq. She's also a native of people are more attentive to poli- Laurier's Dean of Arts and polit- First-Year Computer Science News Editor Kitchener, and put forward the tics. ical scientist David Docherty has idea to report from Laurier. "TV cameras usually go to a bar appeared on CTV with LaFlamme "This is where all the magic hap- "[Area code] 519 is a very critical and people aren't even listening," in the past and was encouraged by pens," says Kevin, a videotape edi- riding," says LaFlamme. "Because says LaFlamme. "What 1 love what he saw in the 24-hour tor for CTV. He's showing me a it's a bellwether, it could decide about interviewing university stu- lounge. makeshift production studio - a the whole election." dents is that they are engaged. "People who were supporting collection of high-tech video mon- A bellwether is a riding whose That's why it's so interesting - I the different parties were there, itors, microphone and digital edit- results are highly representative of could talk to people who vote they were clapping, they were

- ing machines - all set up in a tiny the rest of the country. Since 1965, Green now and years from now cheering I thought, what a great room beside the Students' Union the winning party in Kitchener- will vote Conservative." night you know?" remarked office. Waterloo has been the winning She feels that Laurier is a very Docherty. "For someone who loves As part of this past Monday party in Canada. political school with an informed politics, for me to watch a whole night's federal election debate LaFlamme feels that this elec- student body. bunch of young students get "I don'tthink that it's a big deal. coverage, CTV sent a crew down to tion has been particularly exciting Chelsey Laird is a third-year together and having a healthy, fun Let him move on." film Laurier students during the to watch because "it's such a dead political science and global stud- time in the sense of a healthy

- televised affair to gather their heat." ies student who was present dur- debate ... it was just a pretty cool lan MacDonald reactions, which were then broad- "From a journalistic point of ing the debate. experience." Third-Year History and Political Science cast nationally as part of CTVNews view, Stephen Harper is running a "I think it's a really good idea," Lisa LaFlamme agrees with with Lloyd Robertson. policy campaign that is resonating says Laird of the live debate cover- Docherty, adding that a student's

"The challenge of tonight is that with voters. Paul Martin ... let's age. university years are an important we're live and we're editing," says face it, his campaign has been Her friend Diana Spadafora, a time. Lisa LaFlamme, CTV's National marred by investigation after fourth-year political science "It's all about values, and values Affairs correspondent. She's a for- investigation and you get a sense major, feels that it's positive when start at this level," says LaFlamme. mer host of Canada AM, and earli- of that when you travel with him." a major media outlet gives the er this year spent five weeks dis- As a reporter she's happy to be opportunity for people to partici- patched in the Middle East cover- at a university, where she feels pate in election discussion.

"Maybe [his article] was part of Students to get cash his plan all along."

- Jessica Hudspeth back from Grits Fourth-Year Communication Studies Belinda Stronach talks to The Cord about the Liberal's student spending spree

ADRIAN MA student's first and fourth years of need to make a good living, to get News Editor studying their first degree for up to a good job," said Stronach. $3,000. "Education, I really believe, is Last Thursday, Paul Martin One of the most hotly debated what's going to give us a competi- announced that the Liberal party topics in this year's federal elec- tive advantage in this really fast- plans to inject $2.2 billion into tion has been education, some- paced global economy. We're a "He's going to have to have a post-secondary education thing that Liberal cabinet minister nation that's blessed with great strong campaign to bounce back through what he calls the "50-50" Belinda Stronach believes is a key natural resources but education is from last semester." plan. issue that is stirring voters. what's going to really differentiate ..." The proposed funding scheme, "Education is really an invest- Canada - Meghan Thompson which Martin unveiled while ment in the future prosperity of Second-Year History & Geography Contributed Photo speaking at the University of our nation - it's what gives young IN THE NEWS - Liberal cabinet Waterloo, calls for the government people an opportunity at the end

minister Belinda Stronach. to pay for half the tuition cost in a of the day to acquire the skills they - Please see PLATFORM, page 4 Compiled by Adrian Ma, photosby Sydney l lelland 4>THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 News |Ihe Cord Weekly

The Cord Weekly

- The tie thatbinds since 1926 - phone: (519) 884-1970 e>a. 3564 Fed's plan 'incomplete': CFS fax; (519) 883-0873

email: coi d(®vvl usp. co m

The Cord Weekly - from PLATFORM, page a to tuition... 75 UniversityAvenue West 3 long way offset along with the other Waterloo, Ontario improved debt Mitchell, WLU Students' measures we're talking about and N2L3CS Jen Union Vice-President of the income tax measures that are THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 University Affairs, and has worked available to us, I think it goes a to VOLUME 46 ISSUE 18 closely with the Ontario long way address those issues of Undergraduate Student Alliance access for students." Next Issue : Wednesday, January 18 over contentious issues like She noted that the Liberal gov- QUOTE OF THE WEEK tuition deregulation and the need ernment has promoted several "Let's write them together!!" for increased funding toward post- policies in recent years to help - News Editor Dan Polischuk, imploring his write co-editor to shouts-outs secondary education. alleviate the financial stress faced collectively, in a magnanimous spirit of brotherhood She appreciates the new plan by students, including the Canada WORD OF THE WEEK believing that by focusing on Access Grant, an increase in the Prescient (adj.): perceiving the significance of events before they occur. Thepolitical sciencestudent wasprescient in grants instead of tax cuts, the ceiling of student loans and an predicting a Liberal minority government on Jan. 23rd. Liberals are attending to "the real increase in the income threshold CONTRIBUTORS source of the problem of access." used to determine eligibility for Jay Guitard Richard Togman Cassandra Girrard Mitchell is encouraged that the student loans. Leo Yu Aria Latto-Hall Dru Jeffries Thuv Tran Emma McFarlanc Jay Guitard issue of funding "finally resonated "Look, we didn't want to waste a Kyle Boulden Jennifer O'Neill Keren Gottfried Rod Peny with politicians" but is somewhat lot of time reviewing and spend- dismayed that things "had [to get] ing. We wanted to make sure we WLUSP STAFF so bad" first. put forward a program that Pagination Editor. Dave Alexander George Soule, National addressed access, [something] Production Assistant Emma McFarlanc Janet Linseman Chairperson of the Canadian that we've identified as a big Copy Editing Manager. Aria Laito-Hall Federation of Students, is not as issue," said Stronach. Copy Editors Regan Walsh . ■ Mallory O'Brien optimistic as Mitchell. Soule feels Dr. David Docherty, Laurier's , Apnl Hildebrand ~ Heather Olaveson that Martin's plan will likely be an Dean of Arts, believes that Emily Reilly Photo Managers Jordan Jocius exercise in futility because it fails whether or not Martin's plan will Sydney Helland to address rising post-secondary make a real impact, what remains Online Production Manager. Jason slum Human Resources Sanjay iijjo tuition rates. Tuition fees have truly important is that the issue of IT Manager. Regan Walsh since 1991. is Distribution Manager. Leo Yu tripled post-secondary education being "In the absence of a plan to reg- discussed. WLUSP ADMINISTRATION ulate tuition, this plan is incom- "Anytime we can make it more plete," said Soule. Soule pointed affordable for students to get to President Anthony Piscitelli VP: Finance Frascr McCracken out that in provinces such as Nova university, or more kids to get to VP: Advertising Angela Foster Scotia, where the average tuition is university and graduate with less VP: Brantford James Scott Chair of the Board Penny Shearer $6281 this year, even a grant of up debt, is something that all of us Vice Chair. Sanjay Pottinger will not to in Board of Directors Evelyn Chiu to $3000 be enough both the education sector and GeorgeEast cover half the cost. outside should applaud," said Arthur Wong Minister Stronach feels differ- Docherty. ADVERTISING ently. Contributed Photo AH advertising inquiries should be directed So "Tuition is set by the provinces With filesfrom Erika Meere HALF-FULL OR - Paul Martin introduces the "50-50" plan. VP: Advertising Angela Foster at 884-0710, ext. and the universities," said CUP Quebec Bureau Chief HALF-EMPTY? 3560 or [email protected] Stronach. "I do believe this will go COLOPHON The Cord Weekly is theofficial student newspaper of the Wilfrid Laurier University community. Two very different candidates in Pubs race Started in 1926 as the College Cord, The Cord Weekly is an editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier University StudentPublications, Waterloo, a corpo- ration without share capital. WLUSP is governed by its board of directors. - From WLUSP cover -18 months on the Laurier Senate. ity of Laurier [students are] dous responsibility" on the part of Weinberg's experience in an women I don't think his chances Laurier students. are wluiCTO~ McCracken admits that while he executive capacity does not that good." "It's important to remember tUMs-rM cubferaifoni does not know what to expect on extend beyond his high school Bryn Ossington, a second-year that WLUSP is a $400,000 corpora- Opinions expressed within The Cordare those of the author Monday night, he feels that he student student, tion and do not necessarily reflect those of the Editorial Board, is council. philosophy is surprised and running the corporation The Cord, WLUSP WLU or MasterWeb Printing. the strongest candidate. This has led some Laurier stu- that Weinberg is running. takes a lot of administrative skill All content appearing in The Cord bears the copyright "I would say that this position is dents to doubt the likelihood of "It's a pretty bold way to come and political ability," said expressly of their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent. open for any student to run for," Weinberg becoming the next back into the public eye," said Piscitelli.

The Cordis created using Macintosh computers running OS said McCracken. "I do believe that WLUSP President. Ossington. "Maybe this is where "It's a great responsibility that X.2 using Adobe Creative Suite 2 (InDesign, Photoshop, to Acrobat, Distiller and Illustrator) and Quark Xpress 6.1. I'm the best candidate for the "I don't know him other than he's planning [make amends], we have as a student body because Nikon D7O and Canon Rebel XT 8.0 megapixel digital cam- ... what it to is [from] article, so I seem our eras are used for principalphotography. Adobe Acrobatand position boils down his can't really but it doesn't that way." ultimately, it's decision that Distiller are used to create PDF files which are burned experience." say if he'd be good or not," said Current WLUSP president dictates the success or failure of directlyon plates to be mounted on the printing press. In terms of experience, Juliette Eleveld, a third-year com- Anthony Piscitelli would not com- WLUSP." TheCord is printedby Master Web Printing and is published every Wednesdayduring the school year except for special McCracken has two years as a munications student. But she feels ment as to whom he believes is the editions which are published as required. WLUSU director, one year on the thatWeinberg's notoriety will work better candidate, but said that vot- The Cord's circulation for a normal Wednesday issue is 7,000 Laurier copies and enjoys a readership of over 10,000. Board of Governors, and a against him. "Seeing as the major- ing for the position is a "tremen-

Cord subscription rates are $20.00 per term for addresses within Canada.

TheCord Weeklyis a proud memberof the Canadian 112 5 University Press (CUP), since 2004. The Campus Network is TheCord's national yj&m, Former Arts Dean gets presidency Smoking restrictions back on table advertising agency.

With a connection to small, tight- school of just over 2,000 students. Talk has begun once again around Seventy-five percent of respon- Preamble to The Cord Constitution knit communities at Trent "When he was here, he had a the different ways of restricting dents to an online survey, that was University and most recently good relationship with the faculty smoking on Laurier's campus. sent out during the exam period of The Cord will keep faith with its readers by presenting news and expressions of opinions comprehensively, accurately Wilfrid Laurier, there is no doubt and with the students," Rosehart With Laurier's Vice-President of the Winter 2005 term, said they and fairly. that Robert Campbell will be "a said, adding, "I think it's a compli- Finance and Administration lead- would support a smoke-free cam- The Cordbelieves in a balanced and impartial presentation of all relevant facts in a news report, and of all substantial good fit" in his new position of ment to Laurier that one of our ing a new group made up of cam- pus. opinionsin a matter ofcontroversy. President at Mount Allison deans went on to become pus representatives, various alter- The group will be trying to get Thestaff of The Cord shall uphold allcommonly held ethical University in New Brunswick. President." natives were starting to be dis- more sources conventions ofjournalism. When an error of omission or of input from outside commission has occurred, that error shall be acknowledged Words of praise that come from Campbell, who could not be cussed at their first official meet- before making a recommendation promptly. a now ex-colleague: WLU reached for comment, will begin ing on Tuesday. to Laurier President Bob Rosehart. When statements are made that are critical of an individual, or an organization, we shall give those affected the opportu- President Bob Rosehart. his new five-year term on July 1, The nagging issue remains to be nity to reply at the earliest time possible. Rosehart believes that 2006, according to Mount Allison's one of compliance and enforce- Compiled by Dan Polischuk Ethical journalism requires impartiality, and consequently Campbell "will do quite well" and website. conflicts ofinterest and the appearanceof conflicts of inter- ment. est will be avoided by all staff. should be a good addition to the The only limits of any newspaper are those of the world around it, and so The Cord will attempt to cover its world with a special focus on Wilfrid Laurier University, and the community of Kitchener-Waterloo, and witha special ear to the concerns of the students of Wilfrid Laurier University. Ultimately, The Cord will be bound by neither philosophy, Day nor geography in its mandate. 5 Action News The Cord has an obligation to foster freedom of the press Weather and freedom of speech. Thisobligation is best fulfilledwhen Forecast debate and dissent are encouraged, both in the internal workings of the paper, and through The Cord's contact with the student body.

The Cord will always attempt to dowhat isright, with fear of neither repercussions, nor retaliation. The purpose of the student press is toact as an agent ofsocial awareness, and so Cord Weekly The WLUSP Stuff THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 < 5 WLUSP election platforms Presidential Candidates Board ofDirectors Candidates

these publications deliver. A number of my initiatives will revolve around implementing the WLUSP strategic plan, which I have had the opportunity to par- ticipate in this year. I plan on con- tinuing to make capital purchases to keep the technology available to staff and volunteers up to date. 1 also plan on developing a respon- sible investment plan that will help Student Publications address Rafiq Andani Derek Borfoschek its office space needs in the future. Roman Soler This investment plan will see Student Publications rulz! As a member of the WLUSP Board Being an active cord reader for the WLUSP manage its surplus in a of Directors, 1 will strive to find past three years I have noted sev- financially responsible manner. 1 ways to improve the overall effec- eral changes J would like to see for will also leverage the new "com- tiveness and efficiency of WLUSP the succession of the cord as a munity professionals" that will sit operations. I believe that every true independent student news- Fraser McCracken on the WLUSP Board of Directors idea put forth to WLUSP deserves paper. As a board of director I to engage in a discussion about fair consideration and examina- would like to see: If elected WLUSP President, I plan how WLUSP operates administra- tion, and I would uphold this phi- 1) Information of campus dead- on implementing a number of ini- tively and how it delivers media to losophy as a director. My door will lines/events increase: Printing tiatives to help support our publi- students. always be open to anyone who articles/ads of upcoming events cations and allow students access I encourage everyone to attend wants to share ideas, and has sug- such as registration for intramu- to a rich and diverse range of stu- the Student Publications Annual gestions and/or criticisms they rals, academic dates, special sem- dent-oriented media. I will work General Meeting on Monday, would like to voice. WLUSP has inars etc... to ensure that Laurier's publica- January 16th in the Senate & Board the obligation of serving the best 2) Announcements/Updates for tionsremain financially and edito- Chambers to hear more about Keren Gottfried interests of the student body, and students: such as results from rially independent, but continue how I plan on supporting and my main goal is to support this intramurals, results of issues to allow students to express their improving your campus media. I value the quality ofWLU Student responsibility as a representative affecting students opinions about the message that Publications. As an autonomous for the students. 3) Sponsorship: increase sponsor- organization, its duty is to provide ship from local businesses the students of Laurier with the 4) Student Opinion/Polls: having opportunity to express their right polls conducted in varies issues to free speech. Given my proven that students would dedication to the WLU student body be assured that I will devote myself to ensuring the ongoing success of our Student Pubs. Vote for Keren Gottfried.

Arthur Wong

The past 2 years with the WLUSP as VP: Finance and BOD was a wonderful experience, giving me Penny Shearer the opportunity to meet students For the past two years I have been and writers who want to be a volunteer for WLUSP and have involve in the University, either gained a general knowledge of the Zack Weinberg Daniel Komesch through writing articles, editing, operations of the organization. I yearbook, administration etc. As a am again running for the position If elected to the WLUSP Board of returning Board of Director and of Director as I hope to further Directors, I plan to do the follow- previous administrative staff, I will apply this knowledge in order to ing; restore the relationship that be providing experience as well as improve the overall structure of No platform submitted. WLUSU has with WLUSR specifi- leadership to the Publication. the organization. I would like to cally regarding the Cord Weekly. In Overall, my goal next year is to get see the BOD become more inte- going along with that I would also more people recognize and under- grated into the tasks of WLUSP like to use my position on the stand the role ofWLUSP, as well as through completing projects, in Board of Directors to change the getting involve in the Publication. their office hours, that might bet- image of the Cord on campus Please feel free to email me with ter the organization. I also would through more sensitive editing any questions at like to ensure that several compo- Editor's note: All candidates platforms were printed verbatim from what practices to avoid the kind of con- [email protected] nents of the proposed Strategy they provided to The Cord, except in the case of those that exceeded the troversy that was present this year Plan for WLUSP are attempted. length limitations as set out in the WLUSP Nomination Package. after certain articles were printed. WLUSP President and BOD reviews

President Anthony Piscitelli ing for several years. As CEO, he hired mark coming into the year. tion as previous boards. But because a very competent VP: Finance to help From writing a detailed, five-year the role of a Student Pubs director is Coming into the job somewhat him manage the corporation's strategic plan to changing WLUSP's somewhat narrow, this shouldn't be overqualified, Piscitelli has lived up to finances effectively and put in place a electoral process and corporate struc- entirely surprising. high expectations in his role as budgeting system that allows the pub- ture, Piscitelli has boldly set a new, As they don't actually represent stu- President and CEO ofWLUSP. lications a greater voice in how much more professional direction for dents' in the same way as WLUSU The biggest question mark coming funding they receive. Student Pubs. Even though his new directors do, it's their job to ensure into his term was whether or not he When it comes to handling crises, ideas need time to prove their worth that WLUSP's members' financial could balance his position as a which seem to be an annual occur- and there are still OPA and office space interests in the corporation are taken WLUSU director with his job at rence with WLUSP, Piscitelli has issues still to resolve, he has begun to care of and that students are getting Student Pubs. Thankfully for VVLUSP, staunchly defended the publications stabilize a historically unstable organ- full value out of their membership he has always put his presidency and their right to editorial independ- ization. fees. ahead ofthe Union, even to the detri- ence, and put their welfare above any Working with the VP: Finance, the ment ofhis effectiveness as a member personal agenda. WLUSP Board of Directors board has maintained fiscal responsi- ofWLUSU's BOD. With little exception, he's been able bility and has questioned the execu- As Pubs' president, Piscitelli has to keep himself at a safe political dis- With a strong leader in place, this tive on a number of budgetary items, provided the leadership and strategic tance from the content of the publica- year's WLUSP BOD hasn't needed to but hasn't seriously challenged the Anthony PiscitelIi vision the organization has been lack- tions, which was another question provide as much organizational direc- president on any of his initiatives. 6 ￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12. 2006 Editorial BThl Cord Weekly]

The Cord Weekly

~ The tiethat hinds since J926 ~ Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief international Editor Special Projects Editor Brandon Currie TonyFerguson April Cunningham [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] (519) 884-0710 ext. 3563 Arts & Entertainment Editor Cord Historian News Editors Alex Hayter Kris Cote Adrian Ma [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Sports Editor Print Production Manager Dan Polischuk Mike Brown Bryn Boyce [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Opinion Editor Features Editor Photography Managers Carly Beath Blair Forsyth-Stark Jordan Jocius [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Editor Helland Graphics Student Life Editor Sydney Emilie [email protected] Joslin Michelle Pinchev [email protected] [email protected] 884-0710 ext. 2852 WLUSP presidency is no joke, Zack Emilie Joslin

one would think of walking into RIM and requesting to be made CEO right out of high school. Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications (WLUSP) is no different. The president of NoStudent Pubs oversees a corporation with an operating budget of approximately $400,000 a year. While this, ofcourse, doesn't come close Trickle-down politics to RIM proportions, it's still a sizeable chunk of money. It also represents many publications - The Cord, The Blueprint, The

- Keystone and The WLU'er - which take a great deal of organizing and Politicians should start by doing what's best for the majority the rest will follow behind-the-scenes work to get on the shelves. It's not a job to be taken lightly. It takes a lot of work. offer on the other hand, is mostly while. My mother was pregnant. So, considering the amount of effort the job requires, we have to won- bribes, budgets and a whole lot of Like a lot of students here, I did- der if Zack Weinberg, who can't even bother to submit a platform, will nothing. We don't need a surplus. n't have luxuries or much at all have the motivation to go though with the job, or more importantly, con- We need an active government. growing up and my sister and I tinue the encouraging trend of good WLUSP management. Screwing up MICHELLE PINCHEV There are other ways. worked hard to put ourselves this job means you're putting at risk the countless hours of work by StudentEditorlife Jack Layton has some interest- through school. countless volunteers. It also means potentially wasting the fees paid by ing, though radical, ideas. Do I The government didn't do much students that go toward WLUSP's budget. It's hard to feel motivated to vote if think he cares about these issues? for us. They didn't put food on the Anyone who truly cares about the quality of Laurier's student media you're not passionate about one of Sure. Would I trust him to handle table or pay the rent. They didn't should vote for Fraser McCracken on Monday. the parties or candidates. my money? Hell no. teach my parents English or send Not only is he a proven leader and experienced legislator, but he's occu- Personally, I know there will If I gave Jack Layton a twenty over nannies while my parents pied the second-highest job in WLUSP's admin this year. He knows the probably never be a politician who dollar bill, he would probably give constantly worked. My parents did ins and outs ofhow the corporation works, and much like this year's pres- shares all of my beliefs. In fact, my it to the first homeless person on everything they could and by now, ident, brings a strategic vision and excellent track record to the job. beliefs are so complex (and often, I the street with a Styrofoam cup. they've both done well for them- Compare that to Weinberg, who's only contribution toWLUSP has been admit, contradictory) that I doubt Actually, he would scold the bum selves and I'm proud. the dubious "Gentleman's Guide", and there's only one reasonable choice. I will ever relate to a party on even for having a Styrofoam cup, give However, the times when I've But if you want to come and take a complete gamble onWeinberg, then most of the issues. Every person, him an environmentally friendly been sick (and many of us have that's your democratic right. unique "snowflakes" that we are, cup, and then give him my twenty been there), the government gave WLUSP's General Meeting takes place on Monday, January 16at 7pm in has an entirely different constella- dollar bill. me free health care. Thank you, the Senate and Board Chambers. Take the opportunity to come vote and tion ofvalues, desires, perceptions government, but no help shape your student media for the upcoming year. and influences that interact in thanks. varying ways. One person's perfect If I gave Jack Layton twenty I think it's great world can be another's personal that we have a pub- hell. It's hard, isn't it? dollars, he would probably give it lic health care sys- Not everyone has this problem. tem, but wouldn't Willison Field renovations Some people identify very strongly to the first homeless person he the majority of with certain ideologies. They con- Canadians, not the sider themselves conservative, saw on the street. wealthy but the reg- should benefit all students socialist, liberal, green. 1 don't ular, working class, always consider myself conserva- be willing to pay for tive, but I am voting for them. Stephen Harper has a Masters something better? We all strive to The potential overhaul ofWillison With the increased quality I'm pleased with the decision degree in Economics and was have the best, but when it comes Field would be long overdue and comes increased use by varsity that homosexuals can marry, but raised in a family of accountants. to health care, there is a ceiling, a much-needed. It's a part of cam- teams (soccer for now, and possi- in all honesty, this doesn't really Stephen Harper would take my very low limit, on the level of serv- pus that gets a great deal of use by bly lacrosse too). While we don't affect me. I would love to see guns twenty dollar bill and turn it into ice we can get. students, but has been neglected begrudge them this - not at all - we banned, and although I love fifty bucks. He would then give it Obviously I recognize the prob- by the school. don't want to see Willison Field Toronto and plan to work and live to someone who could hire five lems with a two-tiered system. It's It's good to know that, if the become over-regulated and inac- there after school is done, I don't homeless people who were origi- not that I don't care about those project is approved, our Student cessible to the general student really feel that whether they are nally shafted, but now have jobs less fortunate. I just don't believe Life Levy will be going towards population. banned, registered or otherwise and long-term solutions to their in unfairness for the sake of being something that will have an Peter Baxter, Director of controlled, I will deeply feel the problems. In the meantime, lack fair. We all deserve to live to the immediate and tangible benefit Athletics and Recreation, assures repercussions. I know gun vio- Layton's recipient is still waiting best of our abilities. We don't eat for the students that are paying for us that this isn't the case, and that lence is much more complex than for his next handout. less because some are hungry. We it. the field will remain available for that. I understand the problem of don't sleep outside because some A large number ofLaurier's stu- "casual recreation time." I have aging parents, like all of homelessness is more complex are homeless. dents use the field, whether it's If this truly ends up being the you do, and I use the healthcare than this, but I believe that is just a Society is the way it is for a rea- through intramurals or a self- case, then the new field will be a system a lot. In fact, I may one day small chunk of the problem. For son. We are all striving for some- organized game of soccer with welcome improvement to the work within or closely with the the most part, I think politics are thing better and every single one friends. Bringing Willison Field out Laurier campus, allowing for healthcare system. I care about about realizing that you can't of us has the same opportunity to of its state of disrepair would make greater visibility for the varsity education. 1 care about others and please everyone and instead mak- rise above our personal challenges the experience much better for teams that move there, and a more their childcare issues and about ing choices that benefit the major- and better things for ourselves. 1 them. appealing and useful space for poverty and unemployment. ity, who are hard-working, taxpay- don't believe any government will There's one small caveat everyone. Does caring about these things ing, law-abiding citizens. ever make the world the way we attached to our endorsement of equate to being leftist? No, and I'm This sounds a bit harsh. Let me want it to be, nor should we expect this project, though. tired of people making this funda- offer some background here. My them to. Start at the top. Start with mental mistake. What the NDP parents came to Canada before I the majority. The effects will mul- offers is just one approach, a bot- was born, having tied communist tiply and trickle down. These unsigned editorials were agreed upon by at least two-thirds of theThe tom-up approach, to solving these Russia where life was crap. My dad Cord's Editorial Board and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Cord's kinds of social problems, in a was educated, but it didn't mean volunteers, staff or WLUSP. socialist way. What the Liberals jack here. He drove cabs for a [email protected] The Cord Weekly Opinion THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 ￿7 The least ofelection evils If enough people spoil their ballots, it sends the message that politicians needs to shape up, says Guest Columnist Tyler Feltmate

The Libs: One word, starts with Canadians, leaving the NDP 'S', rhymes with 'candle,' and any- plagued by the paradox of having one who's lived in Canada and to get more votes, in order to get been within spitting distance of a more votes. TYLER FELTMATE or radio for the past half-year is De Bloc: A separatist party can- Guest Columnist TV probably finding this term as irri- not, by definition, elect a Prime By now, most of you have seen the tating as I am by now. Personally, I Minister. Duceppe's presence in election ads aired by the don't think Pauly's done such a the political debates is nothing Conservative party. You know, the bad job as PM, but that doesn't more than the proverbial supposi- ones with people sitting around in a erase the fact that his party is fac- tory taken by the rest of the nation 'Timmies-esque' coffee shop, look- ing more criminal charges than in order to appease the colo-rectal ing frustrated and exhausted by the your average NBA team roster. infection that is Quebec sepa- Liberal cons shown on television. The Tories: Leaving aside the ratism. Well, a good number of the peo- fact that their leader has all the While hardly an exhaustive eval- ple I've been talking with recently personal flare of sawdust, for me, uation, the above should give checkmark instead of an 'X' for through mere coincidence. have told me they feel exactly the the biggest problem with the some idea of how many Canadians example) but within this fraction Despite popular opinion, most way those real people (played by Conservatives this time around is have come to be equally frustrated of votes is one commonly occur- politicians aren't stupid, and are on trends. actors) look, and not just in regard their campaign platform ... or lack with each leading candidate. The ring gesture. Among ballot coun- very good at picking up to the currentruling party. thereof. The vast majority ofwhat I response from some of those mal- ters, a voting card with an 'X' As a final word, I am not urging Complaining about our political hear from them is Liberal-bash- contents I've spoken with has been placed in not one but all available anyone who's decided to support leaders is always a popular a ing, with little actual substance. to simply not cast a ballot at all, but spaces is understood as the voter's one specific candidate to change Canadian past-time, but since this Ask a Conservative what they'll do this is really the worst of all voting statement that they are equally their mind and spoil. What I am election began, it seems that I've if put in power, and you always alternatives. Voter apathy is a dissatisfied with the leaders of all trying to do is implore all those out encountered an even greater- seem to get, "We'll make the gov- major problem for most western competing factions and that they there who are planning to stay than-usual amount of irritation ernment accountable!" Okay, democracies, and essentially says should start improving, fast. home on January 23 out of frustra- (or worse, apathy) among friends good, but what about actually, you to politicians, "We don't care, go Ever seen one of those Three tion to instead express that opin- and associates, toward all four know, running the country? "Well, nuts." Stooges episodes where Moe slaps ion in a way that shows you are major political parties. we'll at least be honest while doing A dangerous statement that can Larry and Curly in one swing? willing to vote, just not for any of For each of these complainants, it!" Right. cause the elected to gravitate Okay, imagine the four candidates the current candidates. a solution is needed: don't want to NDP'ers: Of all the leaders, I've toward certain practices like, oh, and a big glove, elaborate. Like I said, the alternative is to be forced to try and pick the least got to admit that Layton seems the let's say stealing your hard-earned Again, while not an official cate- remain silent, and to give politi- of all evils? Fine, spoil your vote, most appealing as an individual money. gory, to spoil a vote in this way is cians of all camps the near-literal but as a form of dissent! (at least he appears to have back- Thus, there is a demand for an already semi-officially taken as a green light on whatever $100 mil- Before I explain further, let me bone, even ifhis politics are wishy- alternative. The spoiled vote is statement of defiance, and the lion clusterfuck scheme they've give you an idea of what kind of washy). Also, I can sympathize actually a ballot category tracked more people who use it as such, got in mind for the new year. factors might lead the average with his situation. The phrases by Elections Canada along with the more credible an alternative it Canuck to lose faith in every major "I'm going to vote NDP" and "I'll those cast for actual candidates. becomes. In other words, thou- political power we've got, starting be hibernating right through the This group includes all those votes sands of people don't 'accidental- at the top: 23rd" are synonymous for many which are made incorrectly (a ly' mark each circle on their cards [email protected] The perils ofSunday night bored games

hard and try to work around, to no ket for slight variations on the evision, music, books, comics, the ultimate winner. avail. defined theme, with many people drawing pictures, singing songs or After a mere half -hour, the utter Sooner or later that same old purchasing what amounts to sev- playing make-believe out in the inanity and total futility of the last-resort answer eventually eral copies ofthe same game with yard, perhaps Monopoly's bright game gripped me so strongly as to MARK CIESLUK comes about, as it sometimes does a minor facelift. colours and strangely exotic place convince me to quit in disgust and Wiseman Thus Spake the - when we are utterly tired of the lat- The actual problem is twofold: names (where - and what is boredom. 1 found myself broken est electronic distractions avail- Firstly, no matter what kind of new Marvin Gardens, anyway?) could and defeated, studying develop- As usual, the Sunday night scram- able from Sony and Co.: "Hey guys, paint you slap on the tired old offer areal and powerful jolt to the mental politics in a room full of ble to find something to do other let's play a board game!" workhorse, Monopoly is senses. friends while wondering where than the readings for Monday's Hello, Simpsons Monopoly. Monopoly is Monopoly; secondly, No, the true heart of my frustra- the night had gone so horribly classes ends with the boys assem- Goodbye, productive or entertain- Monopoly just plain sucks, and tion lays in a fact so simple as to be wrong. bled and raring to go. ing Sunday evening. always has. diabolical: there's no damn point So congratulations, Monopoly; Unfortunately, this is the start of Now, it's not that I'm concerned It's not that I can imagine in playing a game of Monopoly. though we were the players, a new year, complete with fresh that a perennial favourite of mine, absolutely no enjoyment in mov- Much like engaging in a vigor- you've managed to win once resolutions to drink (to excess) less The Simpsons, have sold their ing a little metal car/donut/ ous round of Tic-Tac-Toe or a con- more. In the words of the (eventu- frequently, and thus we find our- (previously) good name to an irrel- /attack helicopter around a crap- test of seeing who can kick whom al) victor: "I had fun. Because selves desperately trying to recall evant and asinine product py cardboard square and mind- up the crotch harder, the odds are everyone else gave up. Neat. Let's what we used to do before we doomed to fail. In fact, as evi- lessly trading scraps of flimsy roughly 900 percent in favour of never play again." drank. denced by the approximately 16 paper 'money' with arbitrary and whomever goes first (and makes a The answer, of course, is that we million varieties of Monopoly for board-specific imagery back and smart but profoundly simple and sat around as penniless and unini- sale (everything from pornograph- forth for three straight hours. übiquitously well-known move - tiated under-agers wishing we ic rip-off versions to at least five In fact, I imagine that if one how old were you when you real- were old/cool enough to go drink, separate and distinct Star Wars were raised from birth in an envi- ized the only way to win was to but this is a fact that we swallow boards) there is an enormous mar- ronment completely devoid of tel- start in the middle square?) being [email protected] 8 >THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Opinion Weekly] The past and present ofsexual assault Sexual assault is grossly under-reported, mishandled and misunderstood, so Kathryn Flynn offers a history lesson

crime ever to be heard in a court- carrying wallets. and did not warn her or the neigh- subway station and videotaped room. The bill was introduced by Sexual assault should be of bourhood about the suspected the doors to catch the perpetrator. then-justice minister Jean interest to every Canadian; in 2003 presence of the Balcony Rapist in The cameras were not monitored Chretien and made many revi- there were 23,425 sexual assaults 1986. The crime was rehashed around the clock, providing KATHRYN FLYNN sions to the criminal code, includ- reported to police and this is through the 90s as Jane Doe sued opportunity for the criminal as GoodRevolution Girl ing extending victim status to believed to represent ten percent the Toronto police for negligence well as increasing the risk of men, who previously could not be of sexual assaults in the country. and set new standards for police assault. Despite excellent initiatives like rape victims. These crimes continue to go unre- methods in rape cases. Ifyou want Revisions to the criminal code Bacchus and Foot Patrol, sexual Amendments had to be made to ported because of prevailing to run the gamut of myth propul- were also intended to increase vic- assault still exists on campus and the bill - as cases came up in the myths about rape perpetuated by sion in the media, take a look at tims' trust in the judicial system so throughout society, and I'm begin- courts throughout the 1990s the the media, the way cases are han- the clippings from this case. that more incidents would be ning to think everyone's a little in defense lawyers often argued that dled and the way society reacts to Most journalists were support- reported and those criminals the dark on the facts about assault. it inhibited them from launching a assault. ive of Jane Doe, but others like brought to justice. The trust must When it comes to the law, sexu- proper defense against the plain- Christie Blatchford not only be built with the judicial al assault and its prevention, what tiff's accusations. This period of of the Toronto Sun system, but within society and on does the average university stu- time saw a struggle between the This December, Toronto police left wanted to "kick her university campuses. dent know? Over my next two privileging of male attackers' per- in the pants" for Women and men alike must columns I'm going to share a brief spectives and an ideological battle existing peepholes open in single- playing both the insist that prevention does not history of sexual assault in over women's experiences. "victim" and the begin and end with warnings Canada, and the importance of On the one hand, women's past stall bathrooms in a TTC subway "aggressor." about dress codes, liquor con- how it is dealt with on university experiences were sometimes to be The history of sumption and walking alone at campuses. allowed in cases, but the current station and videotaped the doors; sexual assault is night. A louder voice must be In the past, sexual assault cases experience of rape could be con- hardly in the past; it given to the issue of sexual assault victimized the victim, a sadistic tested if the defendant claimed to the cameras were not monitored is current, changing for if only ten percent of all cases kind of legal punishment for pur- have an "honest, but mistaken around the clock, providing and continues to are being reported, how many are suing justice. Until the introduc- belief" that the victim was actually influence the way coming to justice? tion of Bill C-127 in 1982, the consenting. The amendments that opportunity for the criminal. incidents are han- defendant's lawyers were allowed continued were a response to the dled today If you to interrogate the victim based on clause about "honest, but mistak- think that the Jane [email protected] sexual history. Just over twenty en beliefs" - a woman could have Doe case (20 years years ago the justice system condoms in her purse and 'lead' a These myths are most evident in behind us now) is old hat then you Stayed tuned for Part 2 ofthis allowed dangerous implications to perpetrator to think that the the Jane Doe case. It involved a may want to think again. column in two weeks, which will be made about sexual promiscuity assault was consensual. woman who was raped at knife This December, Toronto police look at sexual assault atLaurier and rape: "She was asking for it" is This thinking was tantamount point in her own home, when left existing peepholes open in the most repulsive defense of a to blaming mugging victims for police knew she was a likely victim single-stall bathrooms in a TTC fcUWINHEB

for Kitchener-Waterloo

My Priorities As Your MP: - Ensuring greater accessibility to post-secondary and apprenticeship programs - Supporting lower income families and ending child poverty - Eliminating "smog days" and helping our environment

Contact Edwin's Campaign: Phone: 519-725-4888 E-Mail: [email protected] * Authorized by the Official Agent for Edwin Laryea The Cord Weekly] THURSDAY JANUARY ￿ Opinion 12. 2006 9 Welcome to the week ofbroken promises

orare you unable to believe a word My problem is that I never make that is coming out of any of these resolutions about the right stuff. guys' mouths? If Stephen Harper Not too surprisingly, things are a finally admitted he was a vampire, lot easier to wish for in hindsight. TANYADOUGSLOVE showed up at Club Abstract this If I had only known, my New Year's Working Stiff Saturday in leather and danced to resolutions for 2005 would have System of a Down, my mind would been study a lot for finance class Ladies and gentlemen, welcome be free of cognitive dissonance and don't, under any circum- to the week of broken promises. and I'd have a party to vote for. stances, start crying when you meet Let's face it: as far as goal-setting There's no way a gang of the Mark McKinney. In some cases, it's and personal improvement goes, undead couldn't bring down gun actually for the best that some of there's no better week for failure violence in Ontario. But I digress. my resolutions went the way of than this one. Why, already since Not showing any more nipple at Brad and Jennifer - how could I the first of this month I've become downtown Kitchener bars is my have known, for instance, that I a cubicle drone, ate my weight in New Year'sresolution, not Stephen would actually enjoy my cubicle chocolate, given the bumper of Harper's. (Sorry, creepy long- job? It turns out that it involves another car one of the haired crack dealers!) presenting live to large audiences, Oldsmobile's famous love taps, A friend of mine has an annual working with cool people and free laughed at entirely the wrong family ritual that involves writing ice cream on Fridays. parts during Narnia (causing the down theirresolutions for the year You may call me indecisive or youngest in the audience to ques- on scraps of paper and burning irresolute, but I think the casting tion their faith in talking beavers them in a box outside. If only there off of superficial and unreason- and whiny English children) and was some good old J. K. Rowling able goals is almost as important chased several local political can- magic in that box to make our as accomplishing the ones closest didates off my property - all of promises hold fast with a little to my heart. It could be that one which I'm sure I swore off of at the more resolve. It's not that I think day I'll crash my car into the right end of 2005. Hermione needs to lose ten man and find the love of my life. For a moment, let's stay on the pounds, it's just pretty obvious topic of broken promises and that she wouldn't have any trouble Cord Graphic Alteration political candidates. Is it just me, doing it if she wanted to. letters@cord weekly, com PARTY TIME - This image of Stephen Harper would be much easier to buy, says Tanya Doroslovac.

Who Will You Be Voting For On January

Cast your pre-vote at WWW.CQRDWEEKIY.COM

112 The Literals - They're bloated with power, but still best represent Canadian W values C The Tories - They're not the Liberals,

* change YOU WANT T0 KNOW WHERE AND WHEN TO VOTE? C NOP - Splitting the left is necessary to

' ' have healthy _'' | Keep the voter nformation card we sent you. If you haven't received your voter information I a _ 1 j balance of power It has all the information you'll need to vote, card, or if you received it but found an error in your ®KiKSSessai you'll through voting process or please contact your local Elections -v- oar+ij tt-'c ?5?!539™ j and gei the more name address, i vsreen party .t S ijiEJrif ; £%HS quickly if you have it witn you. Canada office now. You'll find the telephonenumber at time to boost their j www.elections.c by clicking on the Voter information fundinQ and oet on Wz&S* i To vote, VOO must be a Canadian citizen and be Service icon. .. .v.'"', .. i. at least 18 years old on election day. the national debates sSSF l €«*- C The Bloc - Your home riding is in Voter information card I 1 Quebec -v ' f r " OU r ON MONDAY, JANUARY 23, VOTE. I 2£?either a tfascisti or a i Marxist-Leninist C Nobody - Didn't 1 just vote 18 months www.elections.ca

a§o? 1 800 463-6868 toll-free in Canada and the United States A 001 800 514-6868 toll-free in Mexico kJ WMk —j j eg TTY 1 800 361-8935 for people who are deaf or hard of hearing toll-free in Canada and the United States or (613) 991-2082 from anywhere Elections Canada 10￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Opinion JTheCord Weekly Selling out is sellingyourselfshort

If you change who you are just to belong, you're robbing yourself of the opportunity to grow, says Emma McFarlane

is "in" and what is to be sought fused, struggling to reclaim the rently generally desirable, and great time, both academically and after. This manipulation of our individuality and uniqueness that start shying away from things that socially, to start with a fresh begin- very thought patterns leads us to makes youyou. aren't 'cool' or don't mesh with ning. become posers in our own lives. Why am I loading such a heavy what is said to be popular. This year, instead of scrawling EMMA MCFARLANE I, myself, am guilty of altering argument onto you? I do so Why deny yourselves opportu- down the usual resolutions to lose On Loon From Stud. Life aspects of my persona in order to because there is no better envi- nities to explore and grow just weight, excercise five times a week become what I believe other peo- ronment than university to truly because someone or something and spend next New Year's with a Think about your daily routines: ple or groups want me to be. But express yourself and start on an says it isn't in vogue? There is such boyfriend who looks like an what you eat (or don't eat), what why do we undertake this arduous amazing journey to self-discovery. a plethora of activities to pursue Abercrombie & Fitch model, I you dress in to go out, what activi- and simply exhausting job of This time, however, is also here at Wilfrid Laurier, Waterloo opted out. ties you perform or what classes being someone other then our- plagued with the incessant and and even abroad. The worst thing Instead, I decided to be the best you are taking. selves? What is to be gained by often ridiculous need to impress to experience is the feeling of that I could and to not conform to Are they truly something you wracking our brains and bodies to others. Young men and women regret: don't let university life and other people's standards. I will enjoy doing? Do you take pride embrace aspects oflife that do not alike struggle to carve out and cre- what you compromised to fit in be never be the thinnest, most beau- and grow as a person while com- reflect our own personal beliefs? ate what their 'grown up and adult' one of them. tiful, most intelligent person but pleting these tasks? Or are you, like Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It selves will be by joining, or includ- Tomorrow morning, when you I'm okay with that. I want to be most, conforming at times to dif- might feel satisfying in the short ing, different elements of the cam- wake up, just think about your day me. ferent ideals other than your own? term to 'belong' to a certain group, pus scene. Often scared, vulnera- ahead. Is it what you want to do? Make this year count. It's a hard life we lead in 2006. but in the long haul you're only ble, and perhaps just unknowl- Make sure to do what you love, As a society, we are constantly going to alienate you true selffrom edgeable of the possibilities, some what makes you happy and what bombarded by what is right, what your life and end up hurt and con- latch on to anything that is cur- allows you to be yourself. This is a letters@cordweekly. com You See Thinqs Differently?

fDo send us your thoughts, [email protected]

n loft suites! Great location 300 feet to campus!

• Kitchen - open concept, ceramics, breakfast bar

• New appliances

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• High speed internet/cable in each bedroom Cord Weekly^ » The THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 11 FEIHIM taurierj^^^fc (wluTaa "mml pMcatjonsJ presents The Annual General Meeting January 16th 7:00 PM Senate & Board Chambers

Come one, come all, witness an epic event that will determine the future of Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications. All students are eligible to vote on matters pertinent to WLUSP. To proxy your vote, visit the WLUSP offices before noon this Thursday. An agenda for the meeting is also available from the WLUSP offices. Presidential Election Matchup Fraser Zack NUCRACKEN "* WEINBERG

Seven Person Director Match

Derek Bartoschek Penny Shearer Rafiq Andani Arthur Wong Keren Gottfried Daniel Komesch Roman Soler

Only the last four standing will serve as Directors The Cord Weekly 12>'THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Sports

Graphic courtesy of Wilfrid Laurier's Office of University Advancement

EYESORE NO MORE - Come September, students could be greeted by a new and improved King Street entrance to campus. The Board of Governors will vote on the project later this month. Willison Field to be gutted With a renovation proposal bound for the Board of Governors by month's end, the field could see $1.8 million in renovations this summer

MIKE BROWN terms of landscaping and chang- tiative would be beneficial to a area. Regardless, it would take a Governors can be secured, con- Sports Editor ing the look of the campus," large percentage of the student good deal of strain off University struction would be slated to begin explains Stephen, who began try- population, with up to 80 percent Stadium, raising the profile of in late-May. When students return to campus ing to 'soften' the look of campus of its use devoted to a rapidly some of WLU's oft-forgotten varsi- With this timeline, administra- in September, the eyesore that is three years ago, with vines cover- expanding intramural program. ty squads in the process. tors are confident that the new and Willison Field could be naught but ing residences and other campus The field, tentatively to be With the creation of the new improved King Street corner of a distant memory. buildings. "It changes the look of renamed Almuni Field, will also field, Director of Athletics and campus would be functional by Hot on the heels of the massive what is a very ugly area, aestheti- service a few kinesiology classes, Recreation Peter Baxter is quick to August, unlike past building proj- overhauls made to the Athletic cally, but it's also a facility badly provide a practice facility for the dismiss worries that spontaneous ects that have run into the fall term. Complex in the summer of 2005, needed." men's and women's rugby teams recreation activity will be sup- "This is a little bit different than

Laurier bigwigs are coming Of course, this is all assuming and play host to the Hawks' men's planted. bricks, mortar ... and whatnot," together to take on another much- the project receives approval from and women's soccer games. "It's not necessarily just a struc- says Baxter, citing a near-identical needed renovation, replacing the WLU's Board of Governors, who tured activity that timeline that worked for two simi- perpetual mudslide beside will likely vote on the initiative will happen on that lar fields at Trent last spring. Willison Hall with a FIFA-compli- towards the end of the month. Laurier bigwigs have their sights field," he explains. If all goes well, the new field ant all-weather field. All told, the changes, which "This is a place could be running well into the The proposed facility would would also see the removal of the set on another much-needed where students can late-autumn evenings, as the new replace the parking lot beside King current tennis courts, will cost an athletics renovation: replacing the come and take a field would be less subject to cur- Street, encircled by 2.1 metre estimated $1.8 million. With piece of the field few issues recently encountered at berms with minimal built-in seat- $500,000 pledged by WLUSU and perpetual mudslide beside and have some the stadium. ing to give it a semi-amphitheatre significant contributions from casual recreation "I think it'll be less problemat- feel. In addition, it would use arti- alumni, close to $1.5 million has Willison Hall with a FIFA time too." ic," notes WLU President Bob ficial turf in hopes of negating the already been raised. "These types of Rosehart. "The neighbours you re drainage nightmares that current- When talk of the Willison Field compliant all-weather field. spaces build com- dealing with are the universitystu- ly plague Willison Field. renovation project began, WLUSU munity," added dents, so it would basically be Though unnatural, the turf is President Dan Robert was excited Baxter. "It might be whatever the residence students expected to 'green up' the view by the opportunity to contribute "We'd be one of the few teams in a place where people go to watch, would put up with." from the campus' barren King some of the allocated Student Life the country that would have the to think, to read, to write poetry - For now, the administration will Street entrance, with parking relo- Levy funds. type of facility that we're looking we need more of those spaces. I continue with its fundraising blitz cated closer to the centre of cam- "Seldom through that fund does at," notes Barry MacLean, head know we're hooked up to the tech- and hope for approval from the pus, accessible by a small in-road a big project like this come up," coach of both soccer teams. "So, nological world and so forth, but Board of Governors. They dont off King. Vice-President of Robert explained. "So, right away, from a recruiting standpoint, it's there's something said about a intend to get complacent, though. University Advancement, Arthur my first inclination was like, 'This definitely a carrot that 1 didn't serene, green space." Next on Baxter's hit list is an Stephen, is quick to assure stu- is really great because we're actu- have before." Laurier students will be stuck update to a football stadium built dents that only about ten parking ally going to make a really, really The new field may also be home with the current abomination for a half-century ago. spots will be lost during the big impact and a big change on to Laurier's defending three-time at least a few months longer, process. campus.'" OUA Champion women's lacrosse though. If the remaining funds PAGE > Editorial reaction to this story on 6 "It's all part of a bigger plan in He was quick to add that the ini- squad, though this remains a grey and approval from the Board of The Cord WfeklyJ Sports THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 • 13

sports INBRIEF 'Dogfight' awaits hockey Hawks Women's B-bail tab two JO men's hockey team continues to hover at.500 and look to emulate late-season push of '04-05 Ladies in Laurier's The women's basketball team rang in the new year with a pair dan polischuk ond with 15 and Brock a point Things seemed to look a lot centrating on defence and ... self- of road wins over the weekend, News Editor behind at 14. Guelph rounds out clearer on the ice as the team less play," he said. downing Toronto 89-84 and the group with 11 points. came back with four goals against Girard also feels that the team Ryerson 64-56 to move to 6-5 on

Ending 2005 with an even track "We think we're a good team ... Brock in Sunday's 4-2 victory. has the ability to make big waves the year. Veteran guard Meaghan record of 5-5-2-1, Laurier's men's but so is Brock, so is Guelph, so is "Tonight, all the bounces were in the second half. McGrath led scorers in both hockey team looked to start sepa- York," he added. just going for us ... so it felt good," "We have the talent, we have contests, with 24 and 19 points rating themselves from the pack Things didn't get off to a good said rookie forward Luke Girard, the hard work ethic. So we defi- respectively. Second-year guard to begin the new year. start against York on Friday night, who netted two goals to celebrate nitely can do it," said the Christine Gibson discovered her But after managing only a split as the Hawks could only muster his 20th birthday. Mississauga native, commenting offensive touch as well, pitching of their weekend games against two goals on 36 shots against Looking at the chances of on winning the division and the in 19 and 11 in the wins. divisional foes York and Brock, Lions' goalie Adam Druce in a 5-2 another strong finish similar to possibilties of going further. they now find themselves in what loss. last season, in which the Hawks "We just have to stick to our Head Coach Steve Martell calls a "We made several mistakes in got wins in five of their last eight identity, and that's to play hard Men's Basketball "dogfight." the defensive zone that cost us," games, Martell believes that it is every game and outwill every Hawks snap abysmal seven-game skid "It's a tight division right now," commented Martell, adding, "I well within the team's grasp to do team." said Martell of the MidWest divi- like to think of it as a good time so again. After opening the season with a of the Hawks dropped sion, which sees York situated at for a loss ... first game back and it "Last year, the guys came pair wins, seven a the top with 17 points, WLU sec- kinda gets us refocused." together and played well ... con- straight, including tough 78-63 loss to Toronto last Thursday. They managed to squeak past Ryerson 65-63 two nights later, however, riding the post presence of Bert Riviere and Rob Innes. The pair combined for 22 points and 14 boards in the much-needed win.

Men's Volleyball WLU storms post UW in straight sets For the second time this season, the Hawks defeated Waterloo in straight sets, winning 25-19, 25- 23, 25-19. WLU moves to 4-7 with the win, giving them their highest win total since 2000 and leaving them just two points back of a playoff spot. VARSITY STANDINGS

Men's Basketball TEAM GP W L PF PA PTS EAST Carleton 10 9 1 787 590 18 Ottawa 10 9 1 723 587 18 Toronto 11 9 2 768 636 18 York 11 5 6 774 805 10 Laurentian 11 3 8 675 797 6 Sydney Helland Queen's 10 3 7 581 644 6 TOP SHELF - Second-year forward Mark Voakes beats Brock goaltender Matthew Harpwood to round out the scoring in Laurier's 4-2 Sunday afternoon win. Ryerson 10 2 9 724 770 4 RMC 10 0 10 424 792 0

WEST

Guelph 10 8 2 613 530 16 should mediocrity McMaster 10 8 2 800 714 16 Players payfor on-field Brock 10 7 3 674 620 14 Waterloo 11 6 5 826 826 12 Too often, though, coaches are saw the loss of Jevon Walker, their Buffalo Sabres? If not, it's not sur- Windsor 11 6 5 782 692 12 placed under the gun from the top wideout, for the entire season. prising, seeing as he was their Lakehead 10 3 7 673 718 6 start of the season, subject to situ- Other key injuries followed suit, as coach for all of two seasons. His Laurier 10 3 7 659 715 6 ational factors completely beyond former Pro Bowl running back accomplishments? Only leading Western 10 2 8 606 653 4 ROD PERRY their control. Ahman Green and wide receiver his team deep into the playoffs SportsWriter Take, for example, Jim Haslett of Robert Ferguson joined Walker on and winning the Jack Adams the New Orleans Saints. Unless the sidelines. award for top coach in the NHL. Women's Basketball His January often ends up being a you were in a coma this past year, Having to rely on an aging reward? A scuffle with then- TEAM GP W L PF PA PTS nightmare month for NFL coaches you surely heard about Hurricane Donald Driver and an unproven GM John Muckler and goaltender EAST and this year was no exception, as Katrina hitting the southern Simon Gado to carry their offence, Dominik Hasek, resulting in Nolan the unemployment flood gates United States, including New the team just didn't stand a and the Sabres parting ways. York 11 9 2 724 576 18 opened up in the NFL over the Orleans, for billions of dollars in chance. So, how can Sherman take Clearly, the decision to annihi- Queen's 11 i 4 604 552 14 past two weeks, with seven differ- damage. It also robbed the Saints the heat for his team's failure? late ties with a coach lies deeper Toronto 11 6 5 759 710 12 a ent coaches receiving extended of their football stadium, forcing We're still awaiting an answer from than team's on-field perform- Laurentian 11 6 5 700 701 12 unpaid team on that one. ance. In many cases, it is the result vacations. the to split their home games Green Bay brass Carleton 10 3 7 533 566 6 In lieu of all recent San Antonio, Texas and Oh, but it gets worse. Just ask of a blend of factors well beyond the firings, the between Ryerson 11 3 8 581 653 6 question that begs consideration is: Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Mike Martz of the St. Louis Rams. In the coach's control. Ottawa 10 2 8 500 565 4 How much responsibility should Haslett, of course, did not wish his case, a viral infection in his heart A coach can provide as much RMC 11 0 11 460 918 0 actually fall on the coach's shoul- this to happen, and consequently sidelined him for the end of the sea- motivation as possible, but if the ders for a season son and subsequently cost his talent on the field is not there, or if his team's performance? suffered through of stress him WEST In pro sports, a team's main and Tylenol. I wouldn't be surprised job. The unfortunate thing is that if they are subject to off-field tur- source of income is fan support, ifhe was more relieved than disap- a player were to get sick for the year moil, the coach's neck is in a noose McMaster 12 11 1 699 537 22 and thus, organizations who miss pointed that he doesn't have to deal (i.e. Tedi Bruschi of the New from the get-go. Since the players Brock 11 10 1 730 575 20 the playoffs sometimes feel it nec- with this nonsense anymore. England Patriots, who suffered a are the ones sporting the astro- Western 12 8 4 774 652 16 can- nomical salaries, perhaps it'd be essary to massage their public A more typical situation is that mild stroke), the organization Guelph 12 8 4 741 630 16 image by Green not just fire Why should nice to see them pay the price of implementing changes. of Mike Sherman of the Bay him. Laurier 11 6 5 709 642 12 In some cases, it provides them Packers. Though the Packers coaches be treated any differently? on-field mediocrity. Windsor 12 5 7 731 726 10 with a security blanket under entered the 2005 NFL season with This is not simply an NFL phe- Lakehead 12 4 8 669 735 8 which they can deflect criticism high expectations, all hopes were nomenon either. Does anyone Waterloo 12 2 10 530 706 4 away from management. quickly deflated as their first game remember Ted Nolan of the NHL's letters@cord i veekly. com 14+ THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Featurt

S.M.A.R. T. steps to succeed in your 2006 goals

BLAIR FORSYTH-STARK By purchasing only healthy foods, everyday. a little fornication. To cut down on drugs/alcohol, try Features Editor you'll only have healthy foods to While finding someone to have cutting down on the nights you go choose from when you're hungry. 5) Try/Do something new sex with requires another Feature out. This also applies to eating out: It happens every year. Simple, eh? entirely, there are some easy tips to limit it to once a week or only on You have the best intentions to Also, to curb wanton after-bar Whether it be learning the guitar make sure this year is full to the brim special occasions. If you're only improve your life by making resolu­ cravings, don't take your debit card or simply going to more concerts, of toe-curling endeavours. looking to decrease how much you tions, saying "This is the year!" but out with you. You'll be more likely to people often resolve to do new Begin by taking care of some aes­ spend, and not how much you con­ within weeks of returning to non­ spend the money you brought on things in an effort to bring an ele­ thetics (this applies to the men as sume, try buying your alcohol/ drugs holiday life, the goals you set fall by delicious booze, not junk food. ment of excitement to their lives. well as the ladies). Get a wax, hair in bulk. It ends up being cheaper the wayside as more pressing issues The excitement actually makes cut, nose hairs trimmed, etc. and and less time consuming in the long take precedence. achieving these goals easier because buy some new lingerie/undergar­ run. Well not this· year, as Cord 3) Go to class frequently /Stay it's interesting and therefore more ments. If you feel sexier, you'll act Features has made a resolution to on top of your readings likely to warrant your free time. sexier, and therefore, be much more 10} Drink less help everyone else keep their resolu­ To achieve these types of resolu­ willing to get naked. tions. Whether you hope to shed Who hasn't made one of these tions, take immediate action. If you Secondly, go to The Stag Shop or a Surprisingly, some Laurier stu­ holiday pounds or stay afloat in the empty academic resolutions? want to learn guitar, buy a guitar or similar store and have some serious dents feel they may drink too much. sea of academia, here are 10 of the This scholarly ideal usually peaks sign up for lessons; if you want to go fun. By adding toys or costumes to Shocking, yes, but it makes for a most common resolutions and and plummets twice a year, but even to more concerts, ticketmaster.com your sexual arsenal, you'll be dying healthy and feasible resolution. helpful tips on how to keep them. if you've failed at this one previous­ has a service that will e-mail you to try them out and it'll shake off Again, cutting down on the nights ly, you can still succeed this year. about upcoming concerts. some of the monotony long-term you go out limits how much alcohol First off, buy your books prior to By taking actions while your pas­ relationships often face. This is easi­ you can actually consume. Another 1) Hit the gym the week before mid-terms. sion is still alive and well, you're set­ ly the most fun resolution to keep, so tip that's easy on the pocketbook and Second, make measurable goals as ting into motion the steps to make there should be no excuses. the liver: only bring a set amount of By far the most popular of resolu­ to how much you expect to read and your resolution happen. money to the bar, no debit, no Visa. If tions, the 'go to th~ gym' 'lose by when. By setting a goal of seven 8) Spend more time with people you don't have money to pay for alco­ weight' 'run a marathon' intention is chapters a week, you'll be able to see 6) Find Mr. or Ms. Right hol, it becomes a lot harder to drink it. common amongst adults and stu­ how well you fared at the end of the As the obligatory "spend time This tip also applies to pre-drinking: if dents alike. week, and adjust your goal to make For students nearing the end of with family" element of the holidays you only bring a portion of your alco­ With a free membership to a sure it's attainable. their sojourn at Laurier, it seems has passed come new year, making hol, you won't risk finishing a 26er newly renovated gym, it's hard to As far as attending classes, take many are planning for the future time to see friends and family is before the bars even open. imagine that students can be ones you'll actually be interested in and hoping to settle down. often on the backburner, with indi­ excused from this resolution. and make a schedule that works For those of you looking to get viduals opting for the ease and con­ While resolutions vary from per­ The biggest component in help­ best for you. into a relationship this year, here's a venience of impersonal means of son to person, if you make ing to keep this one is to be specific. You may say "well the only time tip: you won't find Mr./Ms. Right communication. S.M.A.R. T. (Specific, Measurable, Don't just say ''I'm going to go to the the class was offered was at 8:30am." grinding up on you at Fubar. One of the easiest ways to ensure Attainable, Realistic, and Timely) gym everyday"; mark a specific time Bollocks! If you know you're not a While picking up at clubs doesn't that you keep this resolution is to goals based on your resolutions, in your class schedule. By commit­ morning person, don't take morning only lead to one-night stands, the make timely goals. Resolve that you you'll find that they are easily ting to a time and not booking other classes, especially not at 8:30, odds that you'll meet The One while will see your friend from first-year achievable. By creating resolutions engagements, it becomes harder to because you're just setting yourself doing shots of Liquid Cocaine and by the end of the month; as your that you're excited about or interest­ squirm out of it. up for failure. If you're interested in dancing to "Gold Digger" are slim. deadline approaches, you'll be ed in, you'll be more likely to keep Another helpful hint: don't plan to classes that take place at a decent Instead, start pursuing your inter­ forced into action. Try throwing a them. As well, put your plan into wake up early before class to work­ hour, actually going to all of them ests and get involved in activities dinner party or board game night action now, write it on paper to out if you're not a morning person. suddenly doesn't feel like a daunting that you enjoy. By focusing on your with some of your old friends, which remind yourself, and reward your­ Those extra hours of sleep will win task at all. interests, you'll inevitably become will allow you to catch up while hav­ self when you've stayed on track. If out over working out almost every more appealing to the opposite sex ing a good time. you follow these easy steps, your time. 4) Be a better person because you'll be able to talk about resolutions will pratically keep more than school.. themselves. If not, there's always 2) Eot healthier This is the catch-all category for Also, by putting yourself out there 9) Spend less money on smokes, next year. those who want to be more honest, in a non-club sense, you're exposing dope, alcohol, eating out, etc. Along the same lines as the gener­ forgive more easily, act nicer, be yourself to people with similar inter­ ic 'getting fit', eating healthier is a more compassionate, etc. ests and goals, making the chance of popular resolution for those trying Whatever the specific area you a connection that much greater. While counting pennies hardly to lose weight or make lifestyle wish to improve, make sure your seems like a fun pastime to anyone, changes. goal is realistic. YDu won't awake one by cutting down on erroneous As students who are suddenly day as Mother Theresa simply 7) Hove more (fun with) sex expenses, you're assuring that you responsible for what they eat, this because you made a resolution to be won't be uq.der the poverty line one can be tough to keep even for the nicest person in the world. If Yes, this is actually some people's come April. the most culinary savvy. First, when your resolution is attainable and resolution. And a good one at that. If you want to spend less money you go to the grocery store, buy realistic, than it becomes much Sex makes people happy and happy on cigarettes, quit smoking. It's a healthy foods. And no, using extra more achievable. For instance, if you people treat others nicer, who in filthy habit that has no justification lean ground beef with Hamburger want to be a nicer person, set a goal turn pay it forward and pretty soon, and the money could go to much Helper does not make it healthy. of saying five nice things to people you have world peace all because of better causes. 0

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0 0 0 from per­ you make Measurable, 0 and Timely) resolutions, ·a are easily resolutions 0 0 0

Graphic by Emilie Joslin The Cord Weekly 16i ￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12. 2006 International Congo's death toll rises to 4 million

KEREN GOTTFRIED Cord International

The death toll in Congo has risen to about 4 million people since 1998, causing one survey to call it the deadliest humanitarian crisis since World War 11. After surveying 19,500 Congolese households, the survey determined that over 1,200 people are dying in the country each day. Malnourishment and preventable diseases cause the majority of the deaths, the indirect result of fight- ing between the Hema and Lendu tribes. There is also a war between the government and rebel forces, whch is is said to have started in 1998 but the country has been plagued by conflict since its inde- pendence in 1960. The five-year war, was one between the govern- ment of Congo (along with Angola, Namibia and Zimbabwe) and rebel forces supported by Uganda and Rwanda. The battle officially ended in 2003, with the creation of a power- sharing government and multiple peace agreements. These conces- sions have not been successful, and it is being called Africa's first world war. The Democratic Republic of Contributed Photo Congo's (DRC's) limited resources

- slashed in the are mostly to blame for the fight- INNOCENT VICTIM Nine-year-old Ngudjolo Bulo of the Hema tribe recovers on January 24, 2001 at Matovu Hospital in Bunia, Congo. He was escalated. ing as different groups vie for con- face with a machete and had his left hand chopped off, caught in the violence between the Hema and Lendu tribes which has recently trol over diamonds, copper, coffee, cobalt and crude oil. is the level of malnutrition, with respond to the need of the DRC. vey. It maintains that peacekeep- One commentator, Evelyn Primarily in the east, civilians about 20 percent of children con- "National and international efforts ing troops need to be better Depoortere, strongly supports the are unprotected from gang loot- sidered to be without proper food trained, in larger num- outrage of the authors of the sur- ings and killings. Both during the or water. bers and more quickly vey. A representative of aid agency war and now, after its official end, Currently the UN has about Civiiians are unprotected from deployable. Epicentre, she observes that "every both foreign and Congolese fight- 17,000 peacekeepers in the area, "International few months the mortality rate ers have been accused of heavy their largest peacekeeping unit. gang footings and killings. Both engagement remains equivalent of two southeast Asian looting. They are trying to assemble a foreign completely out of pro- tsunamis ploughs through its ter- The situation has left citizens secure atmosphere for the and Congolese fighters portion to humanitari- ritory." without access to food, clean planned June 2006 general elec- have been accused of footing. an need," says Richard "Rich donor nations are miser- water, education and health care, tions. Brennan, the lead ably failing the people of the .i r.i ,i while the Congolese must also A survey conducted by the author of the study Democratic Republic of Congo," deal with interruptions to agricul- Lancet Medical Journal strongly to address the crisis remain gross- "Ignorance about its scale and she said. ture and trade. Poverty is high, as urges the global community to ly inadequate," claimed the sur- impact is almost universal." Top Korean scientist falsifies data, to be stripped of title

THUY TRAN His supposed discovery of data was skewed since only cer- Cord International "patient-specific" cells would have tain types of subjects may have meant a drastic reduction in the been participating in the study. A top Korean scientist has been chances of a recipient's body Stem cell experts have suggest- accused of malpractice after rejecting a transplanted organ. ed a lab outside of Seoul National allegedly falsifying data in a In addition to fabricating his University, where Hwang was a recently published paper. research, Hwang is also accused of science professor before the scan- Hwang Woo-Suk, along with his coercing female subordinates into dal, use DNA testing to reveal colleagues, was accused of faking donating their eggs for his experi- whether a batch of stem cells was part of a study on tailored embry- ments. He claimed in his research cloned from a person or some onic stem cells. paper that "Patients voluntarily other source.

The scandal surrounds a donated oocytes ... no financial Not only did Hwang lie about research paper of Hwang's that reimbursement in any form was the eggs, he also lied about the was published in Science, a peer- paid." stem cell lines being cloned. He reviewed journal that prides itself claimed that from 248 eggs, on subjecting research papers to Hwang is also accused of he got one stem cell line. A scrutiny by other experts in rele- former colleague of Hwang vant fields. coercing his female col- said he used as many as 1,100 "Being too focused on scientific eggs. development, I may not have seen leagues into donating their A government commit- all the ethical issues," Hwang said tee and will meet with Hwang in his defence. eggs for his experiment today to debate whether to He was the first to publish a strip the Korean researcher of paper showing that his team had Hwang admitted in late- his "top scientist" title. Science cloned a human cell to provide a November that many of the 248 Magazine is expected to retract source of embryonic stem cells, eggs for the study had been pur- Hwang's article after Seoul master cells that can become any chased from women, an ethical National University releases its Contributed Photo type of tissue or cell in the body. offence. final report on the incident early

Hwang's results created excite- Because remuneration was next week. SHAMEFUL RESIGNATION - Hwang Woo-Suk speaks to reporters at Seoul ment in the medical community. given in exchange for human eggs, National University on December 23, 2005, in Seoul, South Korea. THEOmi^Vl|K^ international THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2008 ￿ 17 Honduran riot leaves 13 dead

KYLE BOULDEN prepared for new incidents." Cord International The two rival groups involved in the violence were housed in a spe- Last week, violence erupted in cial wing of the prison, designed to Honduras' top federal prison leav- hold the country's most danger- ing 13 inmates dead. The violence ous prisoners. is thought to have erupted over a The 'White House', as it is battle between two groups to con- known, is a two-level, 100 square- trol prison drug sales. meter cellblock that houses 400 Many of the victims were prisoners. Honduran prisons are attacked with what appeared to be infamously aged and overcrowded homemade knives hidden inside and the National Penitentiary is the prison. Guns that had been no different. smuggled in were also used in the Designed to hold 1,500 inmates, violence, including a police-issue the prison is said to currently handgun. Ten of the dead were house more than 3,000. found to have execution-style Unlike many recent outbreaks gunshot wounds to the head. of prison violence in Honduras, Currently, Honduran officials this incident did not appear to be are said to be trying to find out connected to the dangerous Mara how the guns were smuggled into street gangs that have recently the prison. gained prominence in the prison Following Thursday's violence, system. The majority of the Honduran National Penitentiary nation's 13,000 inmates are Contributed Photo

Director Lt. Marvin Rajo was sus- thought to be members of these FORGIVE ME FATHER - The Archbishop of San Pedro Sula speaks with a member of the Salvatrucha gang in San pended indefinitely by President street gangs. Pedro Sula, Honduras. The Salvatrucha is thought to be the most prominent and most dangerous gang in America. Ricardo Maduro. Honduras has become notori- Forensic expert Arturo Alvarez, ous over recent years for rising ed gang members back to their gangs have flourished. gangs is thought to be the Mara who is investigating the murders, gang violence, which has spilled Central American home countries. The FBI estimates that there are Salvatrucha, or'MS-13' dubbed by warned on Friday that "The killers onto American streets. In the Nations such as El Salvador and as many as 10,000active members Newsweek as "The most danger- are still inside the National 19905, the American government Honduras have struggled to deal operating in the United States. ous gang in America." Penitentiary, and we have to be began a policy of deporting arrest- with the influx, and as a result, the The most prominent of these Listening to terrorists' demands a necessary step

It is this flawed terminology that has led to so much blind hatred of those who would commit acts of unorthodox or asymmetrical war- RICHARD TOGMAN fare. This is because terror is a cord International means and not an end. It is uncon- ventional warfare to achieve polit- The global maxim for states con- ical, economic or social goals, but fronted with unorthodox warfare our current understanding stops has been "We do not negotiate at the means they employ to with terrorists." Once applied, the secure their objectives. label 'terrorist' acts as an efficient If we actually examined the and provocative piece of public grievances and underlying basis of relations that approves nearly any support among the terrorist's sym- response from the state while de- pathizers, we would have a start- legitimizing the actions of the 'ter- ing point for a real discussion. rorist' group. Take Al-Qaeda. It's not simply The moniker has become so an insane group of fundamental- effective in constructing a set of ists who are intent on destroying pre-arranged emotional responses the West. They are rational people that the only defense against the who originated with specific charge seems to be counter-accu- objections to specific policies, sation. When Bush says Muslim such as the presence of American fundamentalists are terrorists, troops on holy land (Saudi Arabia) Islamists return the label. Sharon as well as US support for the Saudi proclaims Hamas is a terrorist regime. group and they throw the term It is these policies that drive right back at him. many ordinary people to become The word itself has never had sympathizers of such groups. Our much validity in that it describes goal is not to dissuade Bin Laden an emotional state that exists due from launching an attack but to to the actions of a particular party. address the reasons that a network It describes the feeling of terror or of sympathizers has sprung up intense fear, often as a result of an around him. This is the heart of attack. Therefore a terrorist would the so-called 'terrorist' problem. be one who induces fear in others. Without an extensive network of The label neither describes the passive supporters and sponsors, type of attack nor does it allude to Al-Qaeda would be but a handful the motivations, goals or griev- of disgruntled men in the desert. ances of the attacker. It does not This holds true for all the so- even hint at the nature of its vic- called 'terrorist' groups ranging tims. from the IRA to Abu Sayaff to The modern PR machine has FARC. Engaging in negotiations warped the term to serve the polit- and co-opting them into the polit- ical ends of the nation-state. They ical process is crucial to ending have linked the terms 'terrorist' organized violence. and 'terror' to a group of individu- Only when the 'terrorists' have a als who commit acts of violence legitimate forum for airing and not sanctioned by a country. The resolving their grievances will only difference between a terrorist there be an end to the tit-for-tat and a soldier is that one has the killings that plague the political Contributed Photo support of a nation behind him or discourse. A COUNTER-ACCUSATION? - Boys run past graffiti calling Iraeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon a 'terrorist' at the Al her. Aida refugee camp in Bethlehem, West Bank. Could this vandal be returning the insult? 18 •THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 International [The Cord Weekly] Columbian soccer star gunned down Elson Becerra, the Columbian footballer who played for his home country and United Arab Emirates, was shot and killed while dancing with friends in a nightclub

TONY FERGUSON the shooters are and expect arrests International Editor to be made "at any moment." Becerra played for United Arab Soccer star Elson Becerra was shot Emirates club AI Jazeera as well as while dancing in a nightclub in his for his home country when it won

native Columbia on Monday. the Copa America in 2001. Contributed Photo was pronounced dead at the He is often remembered for He SAYING GOODBYE TO A SOCCER SUPERSTAR - Relatives of Colombian footballer Elson Becerra mourn during his Vargas Hospital in Cartagena. helping Marc-Vivien Foe, the funeral on Monday in Cartagena, Colombia. Police expect to make arrests very shortly. Becerra was shot four times Cameroon player who collapsed along with his friend, Alexander on the field during a Rios, who was also hit. The two Confederations Cup game in 2003. had an argument with an The footballer is the latest in a •

on Columbian • unknown gunmen who then came string of attacks rv'■*. :T .jfe. - to the discotheque looking for players. them. In 2004, Albeiro Usuriaga was shot and killed when several gun- 1 ! "The attackers were looking for a men opened fire in , a popular nightclub chance in the discotheque and in district in Cali, Columbia. the middle of the music they com- Usur i a g a helped Columbia mitted the double crime," qualify for the 1990 World Cup in Italy.

- Col. Maurico Agudelo, Bolivar State Police Chief He was 37 years old. Andres Escobar, . v' 1 wmßK\ another Columbian * "The attackers were looking for international, was shot dead out- in fflM a chance in the discotheque and side a bar after the 1994 World M* in the middle of the music they Cup. This happened only days committed the double crime," after Escobar accidentally put the said Col. Mauricio Agudelo, police ball in his team's net in a first- chief of Bolivar state. round match against the United The suspects are still at large but States. Agudelo said the police know who

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~ live in Waterloo's premium student residences ~ www.haneypm.com or call 746-1411 to set up a showing! | The Cord Weekly Student Life THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 < 19 Cover me, I'm going in There are hundreds of condom brands on the market, but how do you know which one will fit like a glove? Sexpert Emma McFarlane finds out

taste). Although some guys are willing to shell out the extra dough to ensure a better-protected sexual EMMA MCFARLANE experience, a very large number of Resident Sexpert men tend to go with whatever is easiest to get a hold of. Rubbers, raincoats, wrappers, and According to most cashiers, jimmies. Yes, they all mean con- convenience is what seems to doms. make for the condom sale when With sex shops springing up all men are buying. Because of this, around and stocking every kind of men are more apt to pick up sin- penis protection under the sun, it gles of different types while can be hard to navigate through women tend to buy boxes with what works and what doesn't. something that has worked in the They can come textured, past. flavoured, coloured, lubricated, But while you're having fun extra-strength, self warming, perusing the aisles looking at dif- made out of latex or polyeu- ferent ribbed, studded, or other- rathane and some that even come wise textured condoms, I'd better with an applicator (no need for let you in on something guys; any more banana lessons). according to almost every female So I set off to investigate by I've talked to and every online polling people, scouring sex product comment, condoms with shops, pharmacies and Internet texture amount to diddly-squat in sites to see what condoms win top the sensation category. Needless marks with women and men. This to say the ribs are more of an aes- is what I found: thetic element than a pleasure conductor. Condoms with texture amount to Other factors such as colour and diddly-squat in the sensation flavour are really up to the discre- category. Neediess to say: the ribs tion of those engaged in the are more of an aesthetic element. sexual act. A little note on that, Both men and women polled though: according to give top marks to Durex and Consumerßeports.org, no Trojan. Not a big surprise; these flavoured or colour condoms two brands are by far the most rated in the top 23 condoms of advertised and most readily avail- 2005. If you want to experiment able in stores. If you're going to and have fun, make sure you're choose one of these brands, go for getting your money's worth; "spe- ultra-thin and lubricated, as hav- cialty" condoms by no-name ing to buy additional lube may or companies can be made cheaply may not reduce the condom's pro- and rip far more easily than tried tective ability. and true familiars. The average price of a Durex Other than that, women on the condom (such as the #1 rated whole tend to leave it up to the guy Durex Super Lubricated Latex) is to choose what condoms he wants $0.83, and a Trojan (like the #5 to wear. The majority of women rated Trojan Extended Pleasure also expect men to make sure they Climax Control Lubricated) is have condoms when the time about the same price. Both com- comes. panies' condoms are generally "I would expect the guy to make made out of latex and the above sure he has condoms and pur- two are both rated among the chases them," says one thinnest on the market. researchee. "I myself am responsi- However, according to up and ble for paying for my birth control coming news in the condom pills, plus I must make sure to take world, polyurethane condoms one a day. To me, it doesn't seem have just been approved for the unreasonable that the guy would Canadian markets. keep up his end ofthe bargain too, Polyurethane, prized for its even you know?" thinner quality than latex, is sure As a cautionary note, even when to entice those males who want an using birth control and a condom, even more natural experience. there is still a small chance that They are also better at conducting pregnancy could occur. Having a body heat and since they contain condom that contains spermicide absolutely no latex; they're great (such as Trojan Ultra Pleasure with for those who are allergic to regu- Spermicidal Lubricant) does not lar condoms. lessen the pleasure and can help They're a tad more expensive, decrease the likelihood of an acci- though: a five-pack of Avanti by dental pregnancy. Remember: Durex polyurethane condoms will there is no lifeguard at the gene set you back around $25 at the pool so make sure you and you Stag Shop. However, another plus partner are protected as much as about this type: when hooding possible. your fella while engaging in oral sex, the taste is much more bear- able (no more rubber glove after- letters&'cordweekly, com Weekly! 20 ￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Student Life Cord Simple weight training Blending bliss Health guru Jennifer O'Neill has an easy workout routine to kick-start your Make hummus, dips and much more with a miniature exercise regimen for the New Year food processor, perfect for students on a budget

JENNIFER O'NEILL MICHELLE PINCHEV cious mini-prep plus processor, Body Break Food for Thought four dollars for hummus seems ridiculous. They smell like disinfectant and I finally got a food processor. Now A can of chick peas can be body odour; white and black, they it's hard to believe I ever got by bought for 87 cents and can make look more like a torture device without one. you enough hummus to fill at least than exercise equipment. But fear A self-proclaimed disaster in the four of those tiny tubs. That's the weight machines in the gym kitchen, I tend to avoid it as much twenty dollars' worth of hummus. no longer! Adding these three sim- as possible. I always manage to You could start a business. ple machines to your exercise rou- create a colossal mess with very Like many students, we had tine will help you add muscle, tone little edible food to show for it. practically no food in the house up and feel better. My biggest problem with cook- when we came back. There was, Let me set straight a myth ing is the time factor. Like many however, a can of chick peas, a before I go any further. Weight students, I don't really see the frozen red bell pepper and a half- training will not make you look point in grating cheese when you empty jar of chopped garlic. With like Arnold Schwarzenegger. can buy it pre-shredded in zip- these basic ingredients and Adding weight training to your locked bags. I can't be bothered obscene amounts of salt and chili routine will burn extra calories with washing and chopping let- pepper, we managed to feed our- and help keep you and your bones tuce when I can buy the pre- selves and get through the day stay strong. washed salad mixes. Food should without grocery shopping. Do this routine two to three be fast, convenient and have as lit- Every recipe for hummus varies days a week on alternating days. tle clean-up as possible. slightly. Most recommend lemon Make sure to warm-up with 10 juice, but we didn't minutes of light cardio before have any. All of the beginning. Complete two to three A can of chick peas can be bought recipes vary in sets of 12-15 repetitions for each portions so it's machine. for 87 cents and can make you pretty much up to you what you put enough hummus to fill at least four in. We washed the peas carefully, put 1. Leg Press of those tiny tubs. in about half the can and added a Sit upright on the seat. Set There is a glitch in this philoso- bit of water to smooth the blend weight to desired amount. Weight phy, however. Store-bought food is before we indiscriminately tossed should be heavy enough that it way too expensive. I realized that in the peppers and whatever gets hard to push the platform out with some assistance, the kitchen spices we could find. Aside from by the eighth or tenth repetition. might not be such a scary place. saving money, the simple joy of Adjust the platform close to your Since I typically eat alone and experimenting and creating chest. Place feet shoulder-width directly out of the fridge (or practi- should be motivation enough to apart on the platform so that your cally inside it), I got a small make food. knees are bent 90 degrees. Slowly "Cusinart" with a three-cup This was just the beginning. push the platform away from your capacity. It's small and easy to Now we can't stop processing; chest until your legs are straight clean, so I knew I would use it bean spreads, egg or chicken salad (Note: do not lock your knees). more than once. for sandwiches, cheese and veg- Slowly return back to the starting To pop my processor's cherry, I etable dips or salsa for nachos. We position and repeat. Muscles decided to make hummus. In case found countless sites online dedi- worked: quadriceps, hamstrings, dies toward your chest, squeezing comfortable distance away from you don't know, it's a Middle cated solely to the coveted art of glutes. your elbows behind you. Slowly your chest. Arms are at shoulder Eastern spread made of chick blending. return to starting position and height. Slowly push handles away peas. It's usually eaten with pita At therisk ofsounding like a bad repeat. Muscles worked: from the chest. Then, slowly but I've seen people dip all kinds infomercial, I truly feel that for any 2. Lot Row Latissimus dorsi, rear deltoids, return back to starting position. of things into it like baby carrots, student, a food processor is a middle trapezius, rhomboids and Muscles worked: pectoral mus- crackers and even their fingers must-have, alongside your biceps. cles, deltoids, and triceps. (not recommended). microwave and toaster. You can Sit on the seat so that your chest Finish with some cardio on your According to my roommate, find a decent machine for around is against the upright cushion and favourite machine, floor crunches who loves hummus, a tiny tub of 30 bucks, and after three or four your back is straight. Again, adjust 3. Chest Press and stretches and you have a com- the stuff goes for around four do-it-yourself projects, the thing the weight to the desired amount plete routine that works all major bucks at most grocery stores. A few might very well pay for itself. following the same guidelines as muscle groups and is short and days ago, I thought this was a rea- above. Grip the top part of the Sit on the seat. Again, set weight easy enough to do in less than an sonable expenditure for a healthy handles. Arms should be fully following the given guidelines. hour. The perfect routine for a new snack. Now that I have my pre- extended. Slowly bring the han- Arms are bent 90 degrees at a you in the new year. HOROSCOPES

(apruorn (Dec. 19) Pisces (Feb. I 9-Mar. 20) Gemini May 2 I-jane 2i *3t Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22/ Ipfh. Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec. 2 I) 22-Jon. i x J mM«■ This week you will alphabetize your You will step in dog shit on the way to Sometimes, being responsible iz da Happy Birthday to Capricorns born your an this week! CD collection and pick out outfits class today. Throughout the day, You will go to the bar this weekend bomb way ta gain mo' freedom for the next two weeks. You will wash everyone will tell you that you smell and be terribly confused. independence. Being true ta yo' werd your hands nine times a day and read soul but Other Capricorns born this week: like shit. Funny how that works. an' deed not only frees yo' this horoscope nine times. You have Nelly said to shake your tail feather, also nourishes da spritit o' those Howard Stern obsessive compulsive disorder. Seek but now they're saying shake that around ya. Ya' Dig? help. Rush Limbaugh Laffy Taffy. You just don't know what LL Cool J to shake anymore. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Canter (June 22-July 121 ?y\ Aries (Mar. 2 I-Apr. 19) Go with Mystikal and just shake that Kate Moss S

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28. -Pot, think Khmer Rouge 29. What David Alexander writes 31. Have your " " Vertical:

1. Slang for body 2. Type of drug heroin is 3. Person who makes films 4. Deer-like Canadian her- bivore, like on the back of quarter 6. Estimated Time ofArrival 7. A great disaster 8. Not off 9. Guns or appendages 11. Come you are HOW TO PLAY: Fill in the blank squares so that eachrow/column and 12. Lacking sensation or each block of nine includes the numbers 1-9. awareness; inanimate 16. Slang for outhouse, 2 FREE MOVIE BMP' Across: 15. Between Windows key WIN 1 OF ] and spacebar washroom 20. Water does this at 100 POSTERS! ■■■'d 1. is done on a horse 17. Groups or collections What '• 18. To, toward, of, facing, or degrees Win The Cord's Sudoku contest by .. . ' race (of 23. Uniform System lens successfully completing the puzzle , 5. The design of an interior in the south 19. Use it to open a door aperture). and bringing it down to the WLUSP jjp J| 9. As opposed to none 25. Call your mother this 21. NPC in Fallout 2 offices (basement of MacHouse) to .jllll 10. Bark rich in tannin 26. Massage @ 22. Plural possessive claim a poster from "The New World" 13. 27. Shortform of Toronto A w 24. Trans- movie. It's free, unlike Imaginus. 14. Organ- , Plagiar- , 30. Go outside, look up, j 26. Italian rice dish Sch- what do you see? [ Pete By Cram Drawing Bad Weekly

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If you can muster anything better than a jfl petroglyph, email Emilie Joslin! Write For Ihe Cord Weekly - [email protected] [email protected] . . ■■ Cord Weekly] The Classifieds THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 ￿23

TI H TnH Hoop Knuckles! nerd, sorry), the upstairs neighbours for own ish so well -no more pduction. * on JkM i mi fii fulJ '"'JL poker night, the bitch the box at the Monarch butterflies. No thanks to applica- ad ProPs to °l uite possibly the best team to Firestation for offeriing up her stupidity as tion forms - stop sucking up my life. A wag Adventure!t iroi Toar-h Fnniichg nuereea«as. Fabulous 5 Bedroom House ever take the field at University Stadium in entertainment, Adrian for risking his car on of the finger to Hoegaarden - no that's no Laurier's co-rec Softball league. 3 wins by a that horrendous stretch of the 416, Brad innuendo. And last, but not least, to the " r,r -rccm r-ortifioHue r Have' in.riacc r> niino ThbUL 145 A Weber St. N., large common area, combined 3 runs, culminated in a thrilling and Ted for the Donkey Punch-ing (it's a Fileserver which delayed this issue. The uorrespona e as jod■ by two full baths, close to all amenities, free extra inning, come-from-behind champi- band friends, not a personal preference) one year anniversary was divine. Angela Guaran a. laundry, very clean and well kept. 575-6321 onship victory. Y'all got heart, team. Straight and Ottawa for being awesome. And my for not making me build a single ad -

, or 575-6313 for viewing, $375/month. up heart. I'm talking Rudy shit here. Shout dog for being so fucking cute. Happy birth- thanks Ryan and Jocius. Thanks for _P | p ark . Syd outs to Billster, Cook Improved Player, day Hodge. the gingerbread and jelly beans. To my par- ISftft 970 9Q41 nr www nlnhalteenl mm (Most -1-888 270 294lorwww.globaltesol.com anyone?), Crystal, Theresa, Hamlet, Rob, ents who would leave to visit their daughter Very Large 7 Bedroom House Show, Slater (my back pain has long since -The Matriarch while she's away but certainly not their first

_ , . subsided and I promise you're not a cancer born son. Just in case the pecking order Children s sieep-away 423 Tamarack Dr., two kitchens, two bath- to the team), and our bearded leader, T-diz- Ode to the fileserver, wasn't already crystal clear... Enjoy the . , rooms, two common areas, top notch zle. Let's defend this shit in'o6! Other props land of cheese and grenouilles. Wait, didn't p R/17 oMo/nc\ if Northeast Kennsyivania (b/1/-«/ house, ceramic and many other upgrades. go out to Ripster for PY 223 excitement, the Thank you, first and foremost, to the skitzo- Sean Avery get reprimanded for something love children and want c run you a fJ'ing, $395/month, call 575-6321 or 575-6313. K-town crew for a stellar break, and Ashley phrenic Old Man Winter who can't even fig- similar? Or was that Shane Doan? 0k... I environment, we need Directors ana for being UW's most loyal reader of the Cord ure his own shit out. Winter isn't worth it if think I've filled the necessary amount of Instructors tor. lennis, swimming (even if you chose the wrong school). No you can't play in it. Shape up before space. preferred), ' . , mrl and 5 Bedroom Units u h» o 5' 4 thanks to the admin for the brevity of the Sutton. Thank you to my roommates- urama, & Kopes, Cheerleading, i-iign low aforementioned kickass break, Waterloo's Rankin for his humility and getting thrashed - Bryn 3 ™. sports, waterskiing bailing, p Best units go first! New building, 2 full bath- "finest" for the $125 fine, and the drunken on the court. Frazer for his committment to Painting/Drawing Ceramics, bilkscreen, rooms, internet ready, laundry, locked asshole that was found masturbating in my fun-boy fitness routines. Costa is coming. Beleagured, Printmaking, Batik, Jewelry, Calligraphy, entrances. Regina, Spruce, or Smallwood driveway on New Year's. That was ... scar- Bell's asking about that bill, pay me. Rizz Photography, sculpture, uuitan Aerobics, pr gee www.maryellenrents.com or call ringly unnecessary. Peace out. for snaking food with such grace. Brown for In a week full of surprises, the fileserver Self-Defense, Video, Piano. Other start. 746-3731. - Browner covering a new sport that contains no evi- was the worst, but thanks to one Regan Administrative/Driver (21+), Nurses (RNs dence of uprights or huddles. Bafs for the Walsh, we made it through. Thanks to and Nursing Students), Bookkeeper, One extra day! hook ups and Pecan Bar and laying out her readers, Angela and the Ed. Board for put- Mothers Helper On campus interviews own section. Emma for being in for the long ting up with the vagrancies of Dell hard- 51b- Call 1-800-279-309 or Thanks to my sister for letting me crash for haul this week - even despite the long ware products. Oh yeah, and our printers oonooX online at 889-3217 or apply www.camp- NEED COMPUTER STUFF?! the weekend and for dancing on crutches, comp line ups. Janet for also enduring the too. Let's go back to paper and rollers, waynegirls.com Wilbur for coming from Shawville to party in scattered work loads and occupied comput- team. Waterloo Networks is the student-voted #1 Ottawa (but not for helping my sister with ers. Cummie for mercifully delaying this source for computer sales, service, & net- her pants), the large Smiths Falls contin- issue and bringing out The Word of the B'mo

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proofreading & Editing B i L'l'M Gap world, '% Take a Year Abroad! Experience the zjj&to "V .. New Four Bedroom Housing us help written assign- . — Let you with your " eHB| ments We provide exceptional proofread- _ , , Travel CUTS has been offering independent travel Startinge „ May 1 SeptemberK 1, onnc W"' iIHHB toTiri and 2006. ing services at reasonable rates. (519) 589- r Excellent location, close to everything, must [email protected]. options and Specialized programs--for Over 35 years. see. goes fast. Washer/dryer free, dish- .r,\ ' f*'* washer, gas heat, gas water heater, cheap ..i-jßr?--. utilities, free parking, open concept kitchen, • work in a Cafe in Australia HkSII dining room and living room open onto a pri- ...... _ in vate balcony, air conditioning, plus huge Dear Matt: Here is my shout out to you: a volunteer to build a school 9 J rooftop for relaxing or „ garden patio, great rea | g U w h o knows how to be "prepared" • teach English in Thailand entertaining, perfect for students. 5429. Call , , (eg. stuffs a futon into the back of a mini van , . 741-7724 or visit www.acdev.ca for more and brings along a box of Jos. Louis). I'm ' leam to Speak Spanish in Madrid \ __ info and pictures. jealous of the woman who gets you" Zach ' JjjgSiLjHMk ,'■* Ijm Weinburg aught to take lessons: to my " fl||| ■pP—.Am Death Trap Sisters and Cousins: I'm glad Excellent Summer Sublease f or our reunion this weekend and a possible reinactment of Failte's last Saturday (Ro - Cheap, new, luxurious, all inclusive, next to we ne ed to make some sig. moves): to the WWW.travelcUtS.com school. April to August, very flexible on rent B&B: give me some more shit to do! have Phone Natasha at 342-3131 or email I __ WWW.SW3p.C3 future Cord cornerstone written all over me gapv 112 iPWlllllE'l [email protected]. . is if ,- m not busy out baNet v | that trymg |f/%VCk 1%) ' . WW www.volunteerabroad.ca _ .. moves or thwarting the love b/w Pres and Oliver - when will they learn? Mike: want to WWW.StUdytngaDroad.Ca + + + + I 2 3 5 6 7 Bedroom Houses hprp thp nf thp ?inrl tn Xnnv* wp ' y" CUTS is owned &operdi«J by ibfr Canadian Federalion of Students. SWAP a program of the Canadian federa?!on of Studentsand a division of Travel CUTS. make up some more. Ava lable for rent all close to WLU m Reasonable rates For viewing and info, call -Emma 575-6321 or 575-6313. Back by popular demand... The Cord Slumlord Contest

— / C C~\A/ho's —

Will/y/ A fuckin'drunk asshole landlord

// who never fixed the taps in our bathtub or the wooden

Send stories about your awful landlord and pictures of your shitbox house to [email protected]

The contest is open until Jan 20th. The top five finalists will be published in the Jan 25th issue of The Cord.

The first place story will win you two tickets to the Kitchener-Waterloo Symphony. Runners-up will win whatever free shit we have lying around (cds, movie passes, etc.) & 24￿ THURSDAY JANUARY 12, 2006 Arts Entertainment The CordWeekly Reading makes me horny

his wife's sister and poisoning women with a drug that he thought was an aphrodisiac. It was while in prison that he CASSANDRA GERRARD penned most of his work. His most TheExcalibur famous works include The 120 Days of Sodom, Justine, its com-

TORONTO (CUP) - What comes to panion novel Juliette, and mind when you hear the word Philosophy in the Bedroom. Living "pornography?" a life of scandal and squalor, de For me, it conjures up images of Sade was capable of the kind of busty girls doing dirty deeds; of writing that simultaneously adolescent boys blushing when shocked, disgusted and titillated their mothers peek under their readers. beds; of priests and women with His books are not the same high collars warning that pornog- brand of "pornography" we are raphy will corrupt our nation; and used to. Rather than trite story- of Jenna Jameson's proclamation lines used only as a device for get- that she is a feminist. ting to the sex, his works entangle Among the list of things that do sex and ideology. They also show not come to mind are books. an intense pre-occupation with When people think of porn, it's violence. Interspersed with scenes visuals that come to mind. As we of rape and oral sex are conversa- are immersed more and more in a tions about atheism. Mixed with visual culture, it only makes sense. descriptions of sodomy and orgies Does anyone read anymore? More are attacks on moral norms and to the point, who reads when they compulsory heterosexuality. want to get off? So how is it that Storylines permeated with phi- you find this article in the midst of losophy make some hesitant a literary spread? about labeling de Sade's works Pornography in Western culture pornography. Others still are dates back to the 16th century reluctant to use the term because and, of course, lacking today's many of the acts described in de technology, it was found in written Sade's work are nothing short of form. Early pornography, howev- disgusting (for example, charac- er, was not used for the purposes ters repeatedly vomiting in each of sexual arousal that it is today. other's mouths as a form of fore- Contributed Photo Instead it was used as a political play). STROKING IN THE BUSHES - Fab Moretti, centre, pictured with a cigarette moments before a massive forest fire. tool. What better way to draw But some facts are undeniable. attention to a corrupt church offi- First, de Sade thoroughly intro- cial than to show him in an erect duced us to the mantra that most state, about to have sex with a pornography adheres to: if it feels nun? Stories of Marie-Antoinette good, do it. He was obsessed with in the midst of orgies were a com- hedonism and, in both his writ- mentary on aristocratic excess. ings and his own life, showed no Different Strokes Tales of dirty politicians having regard for the people who were their way with prostitutes were hurt in the pursuit of pleasure. used to undermine authority. Secondly, his works pushed New Yorkers' third album proves difficult to digest, but eventually pleases the palate The real juicy stuff began with boundaries. In a time when the Marquis de Sade - with the sodomy and homosexuality could term "sadism" being his name- be persecuted by death, he with an array of solid tunes that tion for the band. It takes a lot of sake, this is not surprising. Living brought a huge range of sexual introduced the world to the hip getting used to. in 18th century France, de Sade pleasures to the forefront. He New Yorkers. Their 2003 follow-up, "Electricityscape" is the most was imprisoned more than once paved the way for all the pornog- Room on Fire, began to expose a effective experiment on the for his lewd lifestyle, which includ- raphers to come. Even if you think more intelligent ensemble, reveal- album, starting with a Metallica- ed abusing prostitutes and his his works are dirty or despicable, ing a contradictory dual-natured inspired guitar riff that blends into house staff, having an affair with someone gets off on them. album that sounds similar to their the more familiar territory of first but at the same time striking- frontman Julian Casablanca's ly different. growling croon. "Ize of the World" The band's love of Television is a bassy romp in which ALEX HAYTER and the Velvet Underground is Casablancas laments "You're sad A&E Editor pronounced in First Impressions, but you smile" while the rest ofthe meaning that experimentation is group jam along contentedly. My first impression ofThe Strokes' at the forefront ofthe latest efforts. Impressions is not The Strokes' new album may not be as pleasing Guitarists Valensi and best album, and may become a as one would hope. Does it sound Hammond simulate Television disappointment to some. the same as all of their other stuff? duo Tom Verlaine and Richard However, it does showcase a mat- Or completely different? To be Lloyd's guitar battles throughout uration taking place within the honest, it's hard to tell. the album, fantastically so on band and challenges those who But like many great albums, a tracks like opener "You Only Live would accuse them of being a one- little bit of extra effort on the lis- Once" and "Heart In a Cage". trick pony. tener's part translates into the "Jukebox", the album's first sin- It may take some getting used to reward of a truly lovable album. gle, comes across like a Tim but First Impressions will stick in Once the alluring hooks and infec- Burton movie theme song, with your head until you forget every- tive melodies catch you, you'll crunching bass and a space-jour- thing else. If you buy this album remember why The Strokes are ney of a guitar solo. and you'll eventually like it, one of the best bands out there. "Ask me Nothing" is a Lou Reed- whether you want to or not. The band's 2001 debut, Is This esque ballad laden with organ and Contributed Photo It?, was immediately endearing, strings; a step in a different direc- with Winslet. SADISTIC - Geoffry Rush played De Sade in the film Quills, Weekly & The Cord Arts Entertainment THURSDAY JANUARY 12. 2006 ￿25

The Dark Hours: ■ | Chiropractic JKL;i^' I I HlwHmS Acupuncture 9i i& Chiropractic Massage Therapy % on I — Stretching Programs SvA low budget, ■H fllll Active Release Technique. --^WMk ? .1 S — Dr.Jason E. Price high on horror Tara L. Price ■■■■■ ; l\S£S&:f Sarah Beers, RMT || r 4-255 King St. N. (King at University) tion as her. It may save her life, J ' and he's going to die anyway. She t •'S Waterloo, ON N2J 4V2 has about a year to live in her pres- ent state. What has she got to lose? M j_L@--Vv*w*, *''\ pricechirof hotmail.com But she can't help thinking, V Does he deserve this treatment? Is * (519)885-5433 he less than human? Which does IUFA N society value more: mice or rapists? Criminals or animals? And what exactly is the difference? Sam's husband, David, and her - DRU JEFFRIES sister, Melody, don't know about SDr.. Do you suffer from ... few 4 / Film Critic the severity of her condition. Sam also suspects them of infidelity, The opening shots of The Dark but the film doesn't hit you over • •« Hours, an unnerving Canadian the head with it. There's a subtle mhhhhhhhhh i horror film, comprise what is per- glance here, a minor insinuation • neck tension haps the only completely 'honest' there. Mel is beautiful in a young IaMHMHdj I scene in the film. Truth, as we way, which Sam envies. She sees learn, is subjective; through the the way that David notices Mel, • eyes of protagonist Dr. Samantha and the way that he no longer back pain I Goodman (played with finesse by notices her. The film deals with the J Kate Greenhouse), we see what consequences of infidelity as • | she experiences, which is not many other horror films have, but |mnMMHp headaches always the same as what literally that isn't the main focus. occurs. Greenhouse, who resembles but • is more beautiful athletic injuries Sam lias an inoperable brain tumour than Sarah Jessica Parker, . . . /■ 4 being killed (in equal parts) has a particular- • repetitive strain and is ly challenging by it and tier personal sense of guilt. role, which she handles with subtlety. It's a complex per- WLU Health Under the opening credits, the formance that reminds me a little camera lingers and looms over of Cecile De France's in the recent- ambiguous splotches of black and ly released Haute Tension. Chiropractic and Massage Therapy white: a Rorschach test, perhaps. And ifyou were wondering (that J We pan out; and it's a CAT-scan of is, if this is what will make you go a brain. Though we zoom out see this film), things get pretty vio- away from the brain, what we're in lent and it is fairly bloody. The for in this film is entirely a product budget of the film was a measly 885-543§1® of this brain. The brain sets the $500,000 (that's Canadian dol- —Ml 1 rules and we are at its mercy. The lars!), and the quality of the effects I original title for the film was Head challenges that number. In fact, Games, and though it may be they need not be so good: the film more appropriate than the generic is psychologically realistic, but The Dark Hours, it is also too obvi- because of the authenticity of the ous, and this film never opts for drama, it also plays as a straight- the easy explanation. ahead horror flick—with a twist. Sam has an inoperable brain The Dark Hours played last tumour and is being killed (in weekend at the Princess Cinema. equal parts) by it and her personal If you missed it, the DVD streets r m / jfe sense of guilt. She has been testing on February Bth: I recommend an experimental drug, known to that you seek it out. disintegrate brain cells in mice, on g| a paedophile with the same condi-

PLEASE NOTE: WLUSP printed the incorrect Price Chiropractic phone number in the 2005/06 WLU'er. The above number is correct.

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ALEX HAYTER priest (Ted), living in a priest's A&E Editor home and struggling to control his fellow men of the cloth, Father A small community of people, Dougal and Father Jack. stranded on an island unknown to Ted appears to be the voice of the rest of mankind, survive reason amidst the chaos of day-to- through the vicious elements and day life, struggling to set things use guile and cunning to win the right and solve problems, but day. most of the time submitting to In the aftermath of Christmas, subterfuge and extortion. Dougal, there has been a certain box set the newbie, is an incredibly dense dominating my DVD player; one and infinitely oblivious young that has been impossible to tear man who continually becomes the away from. target of Ted's angry cursing. Jack, No, I'm not talking about Lost. who almost constantly occupies Don't worry, I never liked it. I'm the ancient armchair in the living talking about Father Ted, for feck's room corner, is probably the most sake! violently dangerous pastor one Instead of an island full of could find. He endlessly consumes Contributed romantic heroes and suave gallons of liquor (and various Photo - Dougal (left) and Jack (right), with Mrs. Doyle centre. hunters, Craggy Island, where household cleaners) while offering UNHOLY TRINITY Father Ted, centre back, flanked by Father Ted is set, is full of eccentri- dialogue such as "feck!", "arse!' and cally odd priests and weirdoes. "gobshite!". are too funny not to be shared. Ted The show came to a tragic and Office, though mediocre com- The Irish sitcom ran from 1995- The housekeeper, Mrs. Doyle, and a host of priests get lost in the abrupt end in May 1998, when pared to the original, has been 1998 on British TV, and was an offers the unnerving habit of "biggest lingerie section in Dermot Morgan, in the title role, well received, while Red Dwarf, immediate success story. The obsession with her duties; when Ireland" of a department store, died suddenly the day after film- among others, bombed. Hardcore show is a simple series of self-con- offering tea, she simply repeats and are forced to use militia tactics ing for the third series was com- fans like me will probably wish

tained episodes, concerned little the torrent "go on, go on, go on ... to escape. Ted, Dougal and Jack plete. that they kept the remake on the with plot; its charm comes from [ad infinitum]" until the receiver enter a priest's look-alike competi- Father Ted is scheduled to be cutting-room floor, but with bizarre, surreal and utterly hilari- submits. tion, all performing as Elvis. For remade into an American version Seinfeld writer Spike Feresten ous characters. Though listing examples of Lent, Dougal gives up rollerblad- sometime in the next year. British behind the script, there's a little Father Ted is centered on the episodes hardly does the show jus- ing (which he never does anyway), to American translations have had promise yet. every day life of a middle-aged tice, there are some scenarios that but fails miserably. a mixed history of quality: The

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JAY GUITARD Cord A&E

For the uninitiated, Guitar Hew is a rhythm-based game where a player inputs button patterns on demand in time with music. A unique guitar-shaped controller is included with the game, with five 'fret' buttons and whammy bars which function as they normally would on a guitar. A good deal of thought was put into the learning curve of this Contributed Photo game, and it shows. After playing it NERD GUITAR - Guitar Hero's controls revolve around your own personal axe; with a whammy bar and 5 different notes, its almost like owning a real one! with others from a wide variety of skill levels, it's apparent that most can pick it up in under an hour. As the player moves from one skill level to the next, more of the con- troller's buttons are used (the easi- (fesMmzAk est skill level only requires three i JLi more notes are HOXWWF11 V/ /1./ li Li 11 U buttons). Similarly, * 111 XIIMII ft required at each level, and the ■ ADULT ENTERTAINMENT speed they come at the player We Move a Suitfor ■ * alternative rock and hard rock songs are included). Second, in General Students under Liquor Server Hunting & Fishing Hunting & Fishing Homeworkers (people order to be able to use the highest Minimum Wage 18 and working not Guides: for less than Guides; for five or doing paid,work in their profile tracks (without paying the more than 28 hours five consecutive more hours in a day home for an employer) highest profile royalties), the per week or during hours in a day whether or not the songs are reproduced by the a school holiday hours are consecutive

development team. The end result Otirrpnt is $6.5Q/hour $37,25 $74,50 110% of the minimum wage spot-on covers with the only ' wage rate $7.45/hour 56.95/hour noticeable difference being sub- par vocal performances. wage Feb. 1,2006 $7>75/hour $7.25/hour 56,75/hour $38,75 $77,50 110% of the minimum wage rate

A&E needs more pc/con- On February 1, 2006, the general minimum wage will increase to $7.75 per hour from the current rate of $7.45 per hour. Another increase will follow bringing the general minimum wage to $8.00 per hour on February 1. 2007. sole game reviewers... To find out more about how the new minimum wage guidelines affect I email Alex Hayter at employers and employees, call or visit the Ministry of Labour web site. Paid for by the Government of Ontario | wluentertainment@yahoo

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v ecN For students' sake oe-5. m 4 Keep Andrew in Ottawa

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V. I Member of Parliament for Kitchener-Waterloo

No MP from any party has done more to try and correct the injustice of the Deportation tree-market economist Stephen Harper, leader of the opposition Conservative Party, is pro- and Denaturalization policy than Andrew Telegdi (Kitchener-Waterloo). As Chair of the free trade, pro-Iraq war, anti-Kyoto, and socially conservative. Standing Committee on Citizenship and Immigration, Telegdi has led his group in coming Move over Tony Blair: if elected, Mr. Harper w;// quickly become Mr. Buses new best friend up with a series ofrecommendations that will end D and D once and for all by making the internationally and theposter boy for his ideal foreign leader. citizenship revocation process judiciously fair. These recommendations must be enacted if Patrick Basham, Washington Times, December 2, 2005 the Charter rights of 6 million naturalized Canadians are to be protected. That is something that will be dealt with by the new parliament. That makes it essential that Telegdi be Canadians should take a look at what [Askance-Conservative Stephen Harper] proposes... the returned. pulling hack of government, pulling it hack from the environment, pulling it back from the Ukrainian News, December 14-27, 2005 defence of equality, pulling it back from the defence of Aboriginals, pulling it back from the defence of women. Internationally what he proposes is by and large a policy that would very The hero of this case, if that isn't too strong a word, is Liberal MP Andrew Telegdi closely follow the hard fine of the Bush White House. [Canadians! should know that thats (Kitchener-Waterloo) what they would get with Stephen Harper No question about that I do think it would iae Columnist Peter Worthington, Toronto Sun, June 2, 2004 dangerous for Canada to have a leader with the kind of mentality that Mr. Harper has. Former Conservative Prime Minister Joe Ciark Andrew Telegdi managed to preserve a thread of dignity and purpose in Parliament, a a a lonely Liberal voice standing up for what he believes is right. * C A flfjflOl/l/fMf Columnist Greg Weston, Ottawa Sun, December 2, 2001

- Telegdi has made it clear he is prepared to make sacrifices for his convictions about hlog online 112 democracy and rule of the law. M jBM Columnist Graham Fraser, Toronto Star, December 2, 2001 www.telegdi.org- a m « K II IfllL Authorized by the official agent for Andrew Telegdi