MASARYK UNIVERSITY BRNO FACULTY OF EDUCATION Department of English Language and Literature
Au pairs in the United Kingdom – development of language skills and cultural awareness
Bachelor thesis
Brno 2016
Supervisor: Author: Ailsa Marion Randall, M.A. Jitka Weatherly
1 Declaration: I hereby declare that I worked on my bachelor thesis independently, using only the sources listed in the bibliography section. I agree with storing this work in the library of the Faculty of Education at Masaryk University Brno and making it accessible for study purposes.
Brno, 30 November 2016 …...... Jitka Weatherly
2 Acknowledgements:
I would like to thank my supervisor Ailsa Randall for her kind guidance, immense patience and valuable comments which she provided throughout the whole process of my writing.
I would also like to thank my classmates and friends, namely David, Kateřina, Martin, Radka and Vladimír, for all their help and moral support throughout writing this thesis and my studies in general.
3 Annotation
This bachelor thesis deals with the au pair scheme and its title is “Au pairs in the
United Kingdom – development of language skills and cultural awareness”. The aim of this thesis is to prove that the au pair experience is a valuable way of learning
English language and the culture of the country.
In the theoretical part, culture, what is it and why it is beneficial to learn culture of another country is described. Alongside the culture also the au pair scheme is examined, its history and present form, participants and the reasons behind the decision of becoming or employing an au pair. The practical part is based on research which was done by questionnaires and interviews with both current and former au pairs from different European countries.
Anotace
Tato bakalářská práce se zabývá programem au pair a její název je „Au pair ve
Spojeném království Velké Británie a Severního Irska - rozvoj jazykových dovedností a kulturního povědomí“. Cílem této bakalářské práce je dokázat, že au pair zkušenost je hodnotný způsob učení se anglickému jazyku a kultuře dané země.
V teoretické části je popsána kultura, co to je a proč je užitečné se učit kultuře jiné země. Zároveň s kulturou je zkoumán au pair program, jeho historie a současná forma, účastníci a důvody pro rozhodnutí stát se či zaměstnat au pair. Praktická část je založena na výzkumu, který byl vykonán na základě kvantitativního dotazníku a rozhovorů s nynějšími i bývalými au pair.
4 Key words au pair, au pair scheme, children, childcare, childminder, culture, culture exchange, culture shock, English language, experience, host family, nanny, to learn
Klíčová slova au pair, au pair program, děti, péče o děti, pečovatelka, kultura, kulturní výměna, kulturní šok, anglický jazyk, zkušenost, zážitek, chůva, hostitelská rodina, naučit se
5 CONTENT
INTRODUCTION...... 8
1. CULTURE...... 10
1.1 What is culture...... 10
1.2 Why is it beneficial to learn the culture of other nations...... 11
1.2.1. Stumbling blocks in intercultural communication...... 12
1.3 Culture shock...... 16
2. AU PAIR...... 19
2.1 Participants of the au pair scheme...... 19
2.1.1 Au pairs in UK...... 20
2.2 History and current view...... 21
2.3 Au pairs – young women or young men?...... 25
2.4 The reason why young people become au pairs...... 26
2.5 Why do families in UK seek au pairs?...... 29
2.6 Pseudo-family relationship...... 33
3. RESEARCH...... 37
3.1 Introduction to research...... 37
3.2 Evaluation of the Research...... 39
3.2.1 List of the questions...... 39
3.2.2 The respondents...... 40
3.2.3 The motives...... 42
3.2.4 Language skills...... 45
3.2.5 First differences...... 47
6 3.2.6 Cultural awareness...... 51
3.2.6.1 Relationships and behaviour...... 51
3.2.6.2 Cuisine...... 53
3.2.6.3 Education system...... 54
3.2.6.4 Transport...... 55
3.2.6.5 Health care...... 56
3.2.6.6 The stumbling block...... 57
3.2.7 Recommendation...... 57
3.2.8 Summary...... 58
3.3 Interviews...... 60
3.3.1 Participants...... 60
3.3.2 Motives...... 61
3.3.3 Pseudo-family relationships...... 62
3.3.4 Cultural exchange...... 63
3.3.5 Experiences from au pair scheme...... 66
3.3.6 Recommendation...... 67
3.3.7 Male au pairs...... 67
3.3.8 Summary...... 68
CONCLUSION...... 70
LIST OF REFERENCES...... 72
APPENDICES...... 75
1. THE QUESTIONNAIRE...... 75
2. THE CEFR GLOBAL SCALE...... 79
3. THE INTERVIEW...... 81
7 INTRODUCTION
This bachelor thesis deals with the well known au pair scheme and its benefits in regards of learning the language and culture of the country. Specifically it deals with au pairs in United Kingdom and its title is Au pairs in United Kingdom - development of language skills and cultural awareness. The aim of the work is to prove that au pair experience is a valuable way of learning English language and the culture of the country.
I personally had the opportunity to be an au pair in UK for two years and I benefited from this experience immensely. I learnt the English language by communicating with native speakers and attending the college classes, I spent a considerable amount of time with children and I was introduced to a completely new culture. This two years experience is still influencing me nowadays therefore I decided to write my thesis on this interesting topic.
The thesis has two main parts: theoretical and practical. The theoretical part has two chapters, one on culture and one on the au pair scheme. In the first chapter I focus on the word ´culture´, what it comprises of, and why is it beneficial not to learn only the language of the chosen country but also to learn about the culture of the country. In this chapter I use some examples of misunderstandings which happened when people were focusing in the intercultural communication only on vocabulary and did not take into consideration the different culture of the other country.
In the second chapter I examine the au pair scheme, its history and present form, I explain who are the participants and mainly I focus on the reasons behind the decision to became an au pair and to take an au pair in one´s family. I have also included a subchapter on the pseudo-family relationships which emerge between
8 each au pair and the host family.
In the practical part I present the research of this thesis and the interviews. For the research I asked one hundred young people twelve questions about their au pair experiences. The research was done online via questionnaire with the usage of social networks and their groups, and the actual results are the content of the second part of this work. My intention was to discover whether the au pairs improved their language skills and learnt about the local way of life during their stay in UK.
I have also done interviews with four participants of the au pair scheme. I asked them more deep and more personal questions about their au pair experience than those in the questionnaire. The interviews are analysed and responses compared in the last subchapter of the practical part.
9 1. CULTURE
1.1 What is culture
The Macmillan Dictionary defines culture as (1) “activities involving music, literature, and other arts”, (2) “a set of ideas, believes, and ways of behaving, of a particular organization or group of people”, (3) “a group of bacteria or other cells that have been grown in a scientific experiment” and also (4) “the process of growing crops or breeding animals”. (Macmillan dictionary) Other dictionaries will include definitions such as (5) “a particular civilization at a particular period“, (6)
“development or improvement of the mind by education or training”. (Makins, 188;
Dictionary.com)
The reason for so many definitions is the etymology and historical development of the word. The word culture originates in Latin. English language adopted this word from French language. The word ´colere´ (Latin) means to grow, cultivate and nurture and was used in husbandry. From ´colere´ developed ´cultura´,
French forms were ´couture´ (in old French), which by the fifteen century passed into
English. By this time the word was used not only for cultivating the ground, but it was also used in the sense of worshipping or honour with worship (thus the word ´cult´).
In the sixteenth century “the tending of natural growth was extended to a process of human development” by education (Williams, 87) At various points of the development of the word it shifted the meaning of a particular process to a general process and the complicated modern history of the word ´culture´ began. The process was very “intricate” as Williams puts it (Williams, 88). For the purpose of this work we need to know that by the nineteenth century ´culture´ was used for
10 representation, ideological opinions, sentiment and intellectual works that are passed on within a human community and also as noun which indicated a particular way of life. Since the 1880´s the word is also used in bacteriology. (Williams 87-93; Intégrer
Sciences Po)
This work and the research is focusing on word culture which means the system of shared beliefs, values, customs, behaviours, and artefacts defined by everything from language, religion, cuisine, social habits, music and arts that are transmitted from generation to generation through learning. (Zimmermann)
1.2 Why is it beneficial to learn the culture of other nations
“Since the beginning of recorded time, people from different cultures have met
to trade, marry, and make war.… As warfare is too destructive and the cost is
too high, new field of training – intercultural communication, was born in the
1960s. Its primary goal was to train people from different cultures to get along
better with one another. Today awareness of the concepts of intercultural
communication is more urgent than ever.” (Hofstede, et al. ix)
The reason for that is that most people interact frequently with people from other countries. The cause is tourism, working in multinational companies, trading, diplomacy. Intercultural encounters can generate huge misconception and yet “cross- cultural misunderstanding is a much-underestimated cause of trouble”. (Hofstede, et al. XVIII)
People from different countries are usually more different from one another in their way of communicating and behaving than are people from the same country.
11 Therefore we can speak of national culture, which is what distinguishes the people of one country from those of another country. On the other hand the fact that two people are from the same country and thus have the same national culture does not mean they are same and behave in a same way. All human beings are unique, and have their own personality, history and upbringing. Saying that to some extent all people are alike. We all have the capacity to communicate with others and to learn to understand them even though they could be very different to us. (Hofstede, et al. xix)
1.2.1. Stumbling blocks in intercultural communication
LaRay Barna in her work states that even with good intention and friendly approach a contact with person from another culture is “often frustrating and fraught with misunderstanding”. (Bennett, 337). She also describes six “stumbling blocks” in intercultural communication as she elaborates on the difference between observation and interpretation of any event. Hofstede and col. thus proceed to propose to
“postpone interpretation until you know enough about the other culture.”(Hofstede, et al. 18)
The difference in observation and interpretation can be seen in the following example (see picture 1 and the possible interpretations). Hofstede, et al. carried out a research where they asked an artist Murray Thomas to draw four pictures. These pictures were purposely made ambiguous to leave a space for interpretation.
Subsequently they asked people from different countries (Bolivia, China, Ethiopia,
France, Indonesia, Italy, the Netherlands, Peru, Tunisia, Uganda) aged between fourteen to fifty to say what they thought was happening on each picture. Different
12 interpretations to each picture then proved that people frequently “bring their own cultural frame of interpretation to any situation”. (Hofstede, et al. 7)
Here is one of the pictures and the possible interpretations:
“Two women are walking and a man threatens one of the woman with a piece of wood Two men are attacking a woman A woman steps aside to let a blind man pass A beggar and a woman Gardening A farm family working on their land Poor people. The man is digging for something and the woman is awaiting to take it A man cleaning the floor” (Hofstede, et al. 8)
The six stumbling blocks (as defined by LaRay Barna) are: assumption of similarities, language difference, non-verbal misinterpretations, preconceptions and stereotypes, tendency to evaluate, and high anxiety. (Bennett, 337) Identifying the problem areas can help one to learn to avoid misunderstandings. In addition, it also
13 indicates that learning foreign language without learning the culture of the nation is not sufficient.
First barrier in intercultural communication is assumption of similarities. Many people naively assume that since people are people everywhere in the world and they all have the same biological needs, the communication will be easy if they just know the vocabulary of the other language. This assumption of similarity often creates problems in the non-verbal communication when decoding signs and signals.
Non-verbal signs and signals are indicators of emotions. It is the “cultural upbringing” which determines if an “emotion will be displayed” and to what degree.(Bennett, 337).
Barna uses the example of death of a loved one: in some cultures this is a cause of sorrow while in others a cause of joy. She warns against the assumption of similarities by using another example: a smile. A smile from a stranger in the Europe or United States is a sign of greeting, friendliness or appreciation of the situation. A
Japanese person, on the other hand, would see a smile from a stranger as impolite, an Arabic person would worry what is wrong with his/her clothes that people are smiling at him/her, and Korean people would never smile as their culture does not allow for smiling at strangers. (Bennett, 338-339)
Second is the obvious barrier of language difference. Yet unlike with the first area here “the person struggling with a different language is at least aware of being in trouble” (Bennett, 340). However this awareness is not enough. Learning language means not only learning vocabulary and grammar but it also should include cultural competence. Barna uses the following example to demonstrate this need on a simple yes-no answer: English phrase ´Won´t you have some tea?´ could be understood by a non-native speaker, who hears it for the first time, so that he or she replies ´No´
14 when he or she would actually like some tea. However the hostess ignores the double negative and the guest therefore gets no tea. Hofstede and col. suggest a way to overcome the barrier by learning the language and asking for clarification if a person is not sure that the other person said. (Hofstede, et al. 18)
The third stumbling block in intercultural communication is non-verbal misinterpretations which include gestures, posture, eye contact, facial expressions, physical distance and clothing. Gestures of one culture can be misunderstood by someone from another culture. As Barna says people “see, hear, feel, and smell only that which has some meaning or importance for them” and can ignore gestures unknown to them or of little importance to them. (Bennett, 341) Suggestions for passing non-verbal misinterpretations are: not to assume one understands non- verbal signals of person from another country and not to be insulted by non-verbal behaviour even if such is insulting in the person´s own culture. (Hofstede, et al. 18)
Fourth barrier in intercultural communication is the presence of preconceptions and stereotypes. Stereotype is an idea how certain people or group of people behave and react. These thoughts are adopted by the majority even though they might not be accurate. Due to stereotypes people expect the others to behave and react in a certain way. An example is that British are to be “reserved and ´cold fish´”. When meeting with them for the first time a person with the knowledge of this stereotype will expect the British to behave in that way. Stereotypes are firmly established and thus are not easy to overcome. Best way how to overcome this barrier is to “learn about the other culture”(Hofstede, et al.19)
The fifth obstruction in intercultural communication is tendency to evaluate, to judge another culture as good or bad, to approve or disapprove the behaviour or
15 statements of the others. This is based on the feeling that person´s own culture is proper and right. Barna uses an example of this tendency on visits. While an
American can say to his visitors: “I am sorry I do not have time for you now”, a
Korean would judge this person as their own culture tells them to welcome a visitor, whether they came in good or bad time. (Bennett, 342) Hofstede, et al. again suggest ways to decrease the tendency to evaluate. These are “keeping the appropriate distance” and “not judging someone from another culture by one´s own cultural values”. (Hofstede, et al. 19)
The sixth barrier in intercultural communication is high anxiety. As Barna explains it anxiety, tension or stress comes when people confront unknown or uncertain situations. The relief of such stress comes in the form of defences such as withdrawal or hostility. Anxiety often aggravates the other stumbling blocks. (Bennett,
343). Hofstede, et al. suggest to “accept the ambiguity” of intercultural communication and “be forgiving of others”.
1.3 Culture shock
In his book Culture shock! Nollen claims that the most exciting thing about spending time in a foreign country is getting to know the people and their way of life.
(10) Culture shock is the title which refers to the adaptation to foreign customs, traditions and habits. It is a process or a “real emotional state” (Nollen, 10) that people go through when adjusting to an unfamiliar culture. Culture shock happens to everybody, yet it is “a profoundly personal experience” (Hofstede, et al. 22) and it is not same for two people even when there move to the same country and same
16 culture.
However, scholars recognize similarity in the process of culture shock that people usually go through, and defined stages of the process. These stages may vary a bit from scholar to scholar, nevertheless one usually goes from euphoria via the irritating feeling or anger to acceptance.
The first stage “euphoria” (Nollen, 11) or “honeymoon” (Hofstede, et al. 22) is the initial excitement of moving to a foreign country, when everything is new, interesting and adventurous. Next step “irritability and hostility” (Hofstede, et al. 23) comes when the person is established in a daily routine and realize he cannot get his favourite tea, shop in his favourite shop or that he is far away from his family and friends. One usually experience “resentment toward the new culture for its having caused difficulties” (Hofstede, et al. 23). People can even feel depressed or frustrated. Nollen suggest in this stage not to let oneself get too down and to continue to approach new culture with open mind, to “progress in learning about the culture, in language study, and in new friendships as much as possible”. (11) He also suggests not to spend too much time with others form the home country “complaining about the differences” (11) even thought this might look as if it is helping the person to cope. It is important to comprehend the fact that this is common experience for everybody and sooner or later it will pass. The last stage is “adjustment and integration” (Hofstede, et al. 23) when person realises that he can speak some of the language and he has some good friends, and that he knows a bit about the culture.
(Nollen, 12) It takes more than a two years to learn the culture well and have a deeper understanding.(Nollen, 12) Some scholars even speak of another stage
“biculturality” when person is “fluently comfortable in both the old and the new
17 culture”. (Hofstede, et al. 23)
In conclusion, learning the culture of other countries in very important. Not only does this enrich people, but knowing the other person´s culture helps to avoid misunderstandings or even unpleasant feelings and awkward situations. These misunderstandings happen even when both parties in an intercultural communication know the vocabulary and grammar of the other language very well. Communication includes words, intonation, tempo and stress, and also gestures, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, and others. Many of these can be affected by one´s culture and upbringing therefore it is important to learnt the culture of the other person, or at least approach intercultural communication with open mind.
18 2. AU PAIR
2.1 Participants of the au pair scheme
This bachelor thesis deals with au pair scheme and its benefits in regards of learning the language and culture of the country. Therefore, it is necessary to explain what the the au pair scheme means.
From the number of perspectives people look upon Au pairs, we can define this scheme in many ways. These ideas differ only in wording but not in content For example, according to Anderson, the au pair scheme is “an agreement between certain European countries to facilitate cultural exchange for young people at the same time as providing help to families with young children.” (Anderson, 16).
However, in actual fact, au pairs nowadays are young people from any country and some favourite destinations for them are the United States and Australia.
Au pairs are young foreigners who stay with families from the country they chose to work in, in order to learn the language and its culture. They live as a part of the host family, get accommodation, receive food and pocket money in return for childcare and housework. The cultural exchange is mutual and both parties benefit from it. The au pair introduces his or her own cultural background and sometimes his or her language, while he or she has the opportunity to improve his or her language skills both within the host family and by attending local language courses. However, the au pair is expected to have some basic knowledge of the target language before deciding to travel to the host country. (Au Pair; Union Française Des Agences Au
Pair)
As an example situation one can imagine a young woman from France who
19 goes to the UK1 to learn English, British culture and their way of life; the host family in return will be introduced to French language and culture and will get assistance with their children.
2.1.1 Au pairs in UK
Every country has its specific rules for these young people. According to
Immigration Directorate Instructions and the information provided by UK government of their websites, an au pair in the UK must be unmarried, without dependants and they “live with the English speaking family they work for and are unlikely to be classed as a worker or an employee. They aren’t entitled to the National Minimum
Wage or paid holidays. They’re treated as a member of the family they live with and get ‘pocket money’ instead - usually about £70 to £85 a week.“ (Employing Someone to Work in Your Home; Immigration Directorate Instructions)
Au pairs are supposed to have a signed document which specifies the details of their stay, e.g. working hours, free time, pocket money, living conditions, prior to their arrival. They eat meals with their host family, free of charge, they have their own private room in the house of the host family provided free of charge, they help with light housework and childcare for around 30hours a week (including some evening babysitting), they are allowed to attend English classes at a local college and they can travel home to see their family in the course of the year. For people from the
Czech Republic, there is no age limitation for this arrangement, though au pairs are usually at the age of eighteen to thirty years. (Employing Someone to Work in Your
1 The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
20 Home)
These young people are to be treated by the families as equal and as the family members. Equality is anchored in the name of this arrangement, since “au pair” in French means “on equal terms”. However, the legal conditions are defined only vaguely and there is no institutional control, therefore the conditions and relationships depend on individual families and their au pairs. (Búriková and Miller,
32)
Due to the facts that all the citizens of the EU2 can freely enter the UK, and unlike other employees, au pairs do not have to register with the Home Office, there are no statistics to establish how many young people are now working as au pairs in the UK. (Búriková and Miller, 186) There is no information yet how and if the conditions will change after the “brexit”3.
To summarize, au pairs are young people, unmarried, without dependants, who come to a foreign country for a prearranged period of time to live as a part of the host family in order to learn the language and culture of the country, in exchange for help with the childcare.
2.2 History and current view
In the 18th century, wealthy Swiss families used to send their daughters abroad to learn a new language and to gather experience by living abroad. These young women were called “house daughters”, they lived with their host families and in exchange for it, they helped with childcare.
2 EU = European Union 3 Brexit = the withdraw of the UK from the European Union as a result of the June 2016 referendum
21 At the end of the 19th century, the term “au pair” was introduced for first time. It described young English or German women from aristocratic families who came to
France to learn the “language of Molière”, French culture, and French etiquette and in exchange they taught English or German to children in French families. Au pairing was a means of exchanging and strengthening of the cultural heritage, and it was characteristic only for high social classes. Thus, the term “au pair”, which means “on equal terms”. After the WWI, being an au pair became very popular even among people from the middle classes. It was perceived as a possibility to learn other cultures within the family arrangements for a very low cost. The term “au pair” is universal and is not translated into any languages. (Qu'est-ce Qu'au-pair; Bahna,
450-451)
Eleni Liarou explains when and how the au pair scheme came to UK:
The au pair scheme became a popular form of domestic help in post
WWII Britain. Au pairs were seen to fit with the image of the modern
housewife in the ‘servantless’ middle-class household. Being ‘on equal
terms’ with her employer/host family, the au pair was free from the
stigma of ‘servitude’, and the baggage accompanying the dark
histories of the ‘master-servant’ relationship which had no place in a
modern democracy. (Cox, 19)
In 1969 The European Agreement on Au Pair Placement, an international agreement within the Council of Europe, was signed. According to this agreement the main aim of au pair scheme is to allow young foreigners to “improve their linguistic and possibly professional knowledge as well as their general culture by acquiring a better knowledge of the country where they are received.” In exchange au pair “shall
22 render the receiving family services consisting in participation in day-to-day family duties.” (European Agreement on "au Pair" Placement). This agreement only formalised what had been an informal practice for at least five decades. It is interesting that, even though most host countries and au pair agencies originate their offers and expectations from this document, there is no mentioning of childcare in the document which the au pair agencies consider as the main au pair job description. (Bahna, 450-451)
In the 21st century the view on the term “au pair” as a “young person engaged in cultural exchange who provides some help to a host family with their housework and childcare in exchange for room and board and pocket money” is considered to be traditional and a somewhat outdated (Cox and Busch 2). Even though most au pairs still fit this characterization, the term “au pair” is now used also for anyone from a foreign country, with little knowledge of language, who provides care for the elderly, acts as a full-time housekeeper, or a pet carer.
Even if an au pair comes to the UK to learn the language and culture, while taking care of children in their host family, the host families sometimes look differently on the idea of cultural exchange. Dr. Rosie Cox and Dr. Nicole Busch defined this in their research:
Our host interviewees were all aware that they were meant to engage in
cultural exchange. Some did this enthusiastically and took time to introduce
au pairs to British culture and enjoyed learning about their au pairs’ home
countries. Others were more reluctant and while they knew that taking part in
cultural exchange was ‘the deal’ with hosting an au pair, they considered it as
the price they paid for cheap childcare rather than an opportunity. (Cox and
23 Busch 2)
In the same research Cox and Busch observed that “cultural exchange was deemed a myth by the majority of au pairs interviewed. Few of their hosts took any time to introduce them to British culture or took much of an interest in their home countries”
(2). Even in the research done by the author of this work only few au pairs mentioned that there was cultural exchange between them and their host families.
Au pairs of the 21st century do not need to necessary live in the host family house or eat with the host family. Even the working hours are no longer specified.
Many au pairs´ websites and au pairs´ group on social networks display advertisements for au pairs who can be “living in” or “living out”, who work as many as thirty-five or forty hours per week, or au pairs take care of their own cooking while the host family gives them every week not only pocket money but also money for food. “Living in” au pair is a person who lives as a part of the host family, while “living out” au pair has her own accommodation and comes to the host family house similar as coming to work. Working more or less hours per week depends commonly on the number and age of the children in the host family and the availability of the host parents. Exceptions in meals arrangements usually comes when the au pair has special diet such as being a vegan. All these exceptions to the “standard” idea of au pair should be communicated and agreed prior to the engagement of the au pair to prevent any disagreements and earlier leave of the au pair.
To conclude, the meaning behind the au pair scheme has changed during the times; nowadays any young adult who comes to live in a foreign country as a part of a host family in exchange for any help (with children, elderly people, pets, household or garden) is called an au pair. Au pair usually works around twenty five hours per
24 week, but different working hours are also becoming common. The au pair does not need to know the language of the country well, he or she can improve his or her language skills while living in the country. The mutual culture exchange depends very much on the individuals. There are au pairs and host families that benefits from this exchange, yet others are not interested in learning about another culture.
2.3 Au pairs – young women or young men?
The name “au pair” comes from French language: “au” is shorter for “à”
(preposition usually used with the accusative case) + “le” (definite article, masculine gender), and the word “pair”4 does not have the feminine “e” at the end. Very loose translation therefore could suggest that “au pair” is a man. But this expression is much older than the au pair institution and it had been used in many parts of human life such as economy, accommodation and others. (Origine De L'expression jeune fille au pair)
However, most of au pairs are young women. The reason is not that it is more natural for women to look after children, but only few families are willing to take in a male au pair.5 There may be some justifiable doubts whether men can take care of children as adequately as women, if they can iron clothes for children and keep the house clean. Nonetheless, the main reason for refusing male au pairs is the prejudice perceived in the neighbourhood. (Cox manuscript qtd. In Bahna 463-466;
Griffith and Legg 15-16) These concerns may include worries about what the
4 The word “pair” comes originally from Latin “par, paris” which means parity in English. 5 In the research done by Dr Rosie Cox in London in 2001 none of the families were willing to “employ” a male au pair. They all share the belief that a man who wishes to take care of someone´s else children must be a pervert.
25 neighbourhood says about having a young man living in the house.
Another problem that young men have to face is prejudices due to the issues of contemporary society such as paedophilia and rape. These men must be prepared for questions inquiring about their sexuality and sexual life at the interview with the agency. (Griffith and Legg, 15) Regrettably even very modern families who buy children books portraying fathers as cooks and cleaners are not willing to employ male au pairs as they are frightened these could be or could become paedophiles.
Young men are interested in becoming au pairs and in the majority of cases it can be assumed that children do love and respect them, however some agencies do not even register men as they know they will have hard time finding a suitable family for them. For example, one male au pair was rejected by fifty nine agencies before he found one that placed him in a host family. (Griffith and Legg, 15)
Although it is difficult for young men to become an au pair, it is not impossible.
Unfortunately no survey has been done to discover the ratio between the demand of young men for families and the amount of actual male au pairs. The same applies to the percentage of the currently working male au pairs. Even so, it is known that the ratio between the number of female and male au pairs is very unbalanced as the survey for this work also proves.
2.4 The reasons why young people become au pairs
There are many reasons for young people to become an au pair. Although, according to many pieces of research (including the one done by the author) it very much depends on the individual, some of the reasons and motives repeat
26 themselves. These are listed below.
The stereotypical tales narrate that young people (especially from the Eastern
Europe) are only looking for economic improvement while becoming an au pair.
(Búriková and Miller, 189). Sometimes an au pair can earn more in pocket money than their full time working parents in their home lands. And therefore, while economic motives are naturally true for some, many others see different purpose in their decision to travel to foreign country to live in an unknown family and to look after their children.
Another widespread reason why young people become au pairs is to cure themselves from unsuccessful relationships. It is quite common that young people
“go abroad to escape from the consequences of breaking up with their boyfriends
(girlfriends) or in order to obtain a critical distance from their parents.” (Búriková and
Miller, 24).
Female au pairs often consider au pairing as a lesson in growing up and self- development, a period between living with their parents and settling down in their own households and becoming parents themselves. (Búriková) They no longer only look after their younger siblings or neighbour´s children, but they are now also taking care of children´s meals, clothes and helping them with homework. Also being away, usually for the first time, from their parents these au pairs have to make all decisions by themselves (regarding their health, life style, free time, meeting new friends, spending money), while not having have to take care of the utility bills yet.
Others use the au pair scheme as an opportunity of great adventure or an experience of living abroad without high risks and with a very little initial capital as there is no cost of accommodation.
27 There are also young women who wish to get more experience with childcare while being an au pair since they hope this experience would help them succeed in the competitive childcare job market in their home country. (Macdonald, 44, 50). The same can be said about learning of the language; some au pairs already have a degree in some branch, yet they need good English to find employment. (Macdonald,
49)
Au pairing can also be taken as a kind of gap year between secondary school and university and thus helping the young person to decide what they want to do in their life, and which university they really wish to study at. (Búriková and Miller, 189;
Cox and Busch, 3)
Additionally, becoming an au pair can also be a “stepping stone” to other forms of work, when an au pair stays with the family for a few months and when he or she finds his or her feet, they move to another type of employment. (Anderson, et al. 84)
In this case the au pairs make use of the security of coming to an already established social network by living with a host family and having no worries concerning the bills.
Finally, the important aim of au paring is still also the desire to learn the foreign language and be a part of cultural exchange. (Búriková and Miller, 188; Williams and
Baláž) After all, living in the country and being surrounded by the targeted language is the fastest way to learn it. Also, while the au pair is learning the culture of the country, the host family can learn about the au pair´s culture, thus the mutual cultural enrichment.
All in all, whatever the reasons for becoming an au pair (whether they are the opportunity of learning a foreign language or different ways of life, or the need to move away from home, or the hope of economic improvement, or just the excitement
28 of adventure), au pairing is very attractive for young people.
2.5 The reasons why families in UK seek au pairs
Au pairing is a popular source of childcare and domestic labour in the UK. One of the reasons for this (according to Rosie Cox) is the fact that families in UK prefer traditional mother-like care which takes place in the child´s home. This ideology of individual child minding is in contradiction to leaving children in pre-schools institutions such as nurseries and daycare centres which provide group care (one tutor looks after a group of children).
This being said few mothers can afford or even do not want to stay at home with their children, therefore these families need to find an alternative care for their children. In the UK there are several institutions for this: day nurseries or day care centres, using a childminder, hiring a nanny, or having an au pair. (Guide to Childcare
Choices; Childcare)
Nurseries or day care centres are places where very young children spend time with their peers, they play and learn together and are looked after by trained staff. Some nurseries take children from their birth and are open since 7am till 7pm.
The most common ones are nurseries which are open only in the mornings and take children from the age of three. Parents on low income do not have to pay up to
15hours a week in those nurseries, this way the government is encouraging the parents to get a part time work or training. (Help paying for childcare)
Nurseries, however, do not fulfil the idea of individual care. Using the services of a professional childminder is better for this purpose. A childminder is a person
29 who works with children for more than 2 hours a day in their own home for some reward. In all countries of the UK childminders must be registered with the governing body of the country in which the childminder lives. This registration ensures that childminders attain certain level of skills, knowledge and competency to fulfil their multiple roles. A childminder usually has a child of their own and she can take care of children for the whole day from as early as 6am. Parents drop their children off at the childminder´s home and pick them up there. The childminder commonly has a few children of different ages and they all go out for the day or do the school run together.
Although childminder fulfils the role of an individual care, some parents are worried the childminder´s own child would be favoured over their children. (Búriková, 346)
Neither nursery nor a childminder can take care of the child in their home environment, which is preferred by many families in the UK. Having an individual childcare in the child´s home can be provided by hiring a nanny. A nanny must have all government required certificates for childcare. She comes to the house and takes care of the children and prepares their meals. She does not do any domestic chores.
Nanny would be an ideal solution to a childcare nevertheless nannies are very expensive and not every family can afford one. (Búriková, 346)
In the light of these facts having an au pair seems to be the best solution. Au pair looks after the children in their home environment, he or she does not need any childcare training and certificates and therefore is much cheaper than a nanny or childminder.
“Au pairs receive pocket money that is normally around half the minimum wage, their remuneration is not taxable and host families do not have to pay the
National Insurance they would pay for an employee” such as nanny or a house
30 cleaner. (Cox, “Au Pairs' Lives in Global Context” 4). Au pair is more flexible too. He or she can take children to and from any out-of-home activities, he or she looks after the children even if parents come home from work five minutes later, he or she gives the children dinner and sometimes even cooks for the parents, au pair is on the phone if the parents need to change their time schedule, he or she works during the weekends without expecting any extra money (if this has been agreed). Au pair also takes care of the housework and can walk the dogs. Au pair´s work week can be literally scheduled to the parents´s needs (Macdonald, 61). Some parents appreciate the fact that the au pair makes the host family his or her priority, over the commitments to parents or siblings.
Type of childcare Average cost for part-time (25 London hours per week)
Day nursery £115 £152
Childminder £104 £146
Nanny £200-£275 £200-£275
Au pair £70-£85 £100
Source: Average Childcare Costs These are only average prices in the UK, each nursery as well as childminders and nannies have their own prices and there are some offers of discounts when minding two or more children from the same family. Also some au pairs can get benefits such as the use of the family car when the host family pay for the petrol.
With some au pairs all the domestic chores come under their competence and these au pair thus take care of the whole household. Some parents feel for routine domestic tasks to be incompatible with concepts of quality time they should spend
31 with their children when they come home from work. (Gregson and Lowe, 92) This quality time is according to Búriková time parents spend by actively playing with their children, caressing and communicating with them. Quality time does not have to be long, but it is very important for the proper emotional and psychological development of the child. In fact this quality time is seen as the most important part of parenthood and a proof of parents´ love. While time spent by activities that are technical: preparing of meals, feeding the babies, looking after children for a whole day, cleaning their clothes and bathing children is not that important and can therefore be done by someone else. Accepting an alternative care such as having an au pair thus helps separating of the quality time from the mechanical performance of other needed care and saves time. (Búriková, 343)
Burikova and Miller observed in their research:
Most host families are quite ready to acknowledge that they choose an
au pair, over other forms of childcare and house cleaning, largely
because it is what they can afford. It is most commonly a means by
which they can continue in full-time or part-time employment, providing
more flexibility and control over childcare than childminding, while being
cheaper than employing a nanny. In either case, the basis of the choice
is finance and convenience. (page 33)
Overall the choice of having an au pair is frequently the least bad option, hardly ever a desire to take part in this pseudo-family engagement. As Cox puts it: “For many families, au pairs are the only workable solution to the ‘childcare crisis’.” (Cox and
Busch, 1)
There are, on the other hand, families where the mother does not work or only
32 part time and having an au pair is helping these mothers to keep the life style they had prior to having children. (Anderson, 23-24) Those mothers can study, enjoy their hobbies or spend time at shops and beauty salons, while the children and household are taken care of by the au pairs.
Au pairing is so a common phenomenon that even government strategic plans take au pairing into account, for example in the “Inter-departmental childcare review:
Delivering for children and families” with the foreword of Tony Blair, former Prime
Minister of UK, it says: “Nannies and au pairs also form part of the overall supply of childcare." (Ashton, 16)
In summary, having an au pair is quite common for British families. The main reasons for having an au pair are the cost of other forms of childcare and the convenience of having someone to look after the children in their home environment who is also flexible.
2.6 Pseudo-family relationship
Pseudo-family or false kin is the idiom through which the relationship between an au pair and the host family is described, as the au pair is part of the family while at the same time he or she is the stranger in the family (Búriková and Miller, 33)
Au pairing is not meant to be a form of work. Au pair is to be treated as part of the family, learning the language and culture of the country and for a help within the household he or she receives the food, accommodation and pocket money.
As the real life experiences commonly confirm this idea not accurate, it is hard for both sides (the host family as well as the au pair) to determine the correct
33 relationship. Is au pair just another “child” in the house and thus should be treated as a “bigger sister” or is au pair a paid domestic worker and should be treated as an employee? As Cox said: “Au pairing is discursively constructed by government policy and au pair agencies as a form of cultural exchange, yet it is commonly experienced by au pairs and demanded by host families, as a form of paid domestic work.” (Cox,
8). This opens door to exploitation of the au pairs as well as to big disagreements.
When an au pair is seeking the cultural-exchange experience in a host family he or she often expects to be treated as a family member, as another son or daughter with all the rights of such a family member. The host family who is seeking low-cost childcare worker expect an employee who is very flexible and carries out all the host family wishes. Both sides thus see their mutual obligations differently, which increases the opportunity for problems. (Macdonald, 52)
In many interviews done by Cameron Lynne Macdonald and Zuzana Búriková, au pairs often spoke about what it is like to be the cornerstone of the host family life but at the same time they are denied adult-level of autonomy and authority. Many au pairs were asked to work more hours as a favour for the host family, some shared their room with the children and thus had no privacy and some were expected to spend their free time with the host family. Feelings of many au pairs could be summarized like the feelings of Sarah: “I didn’t want to be just an employee to the family. [But] they’re always slipping in extra stuff that’s not really in your contract, and how far do you go? Do you stick totally by your contract, or do you say, ‘Well, it’s fine to do a few extra things because I live here too?’ ” (Macdonald, 60). Several au pairs found it hard to distinguish whether it is acceptable to invite friends around.
This pseudo-family relationship is not easy even for the host family. From the
34 same research it emerged that even the mothers (and/or fathers) did not know exactly how to behave towards their au pairs. Some mothers felt they had responsibility towards this young person as to a teenager and thus were unhappy when au pair spent all his or her free time away from the house and came home very late. Some families even stopped their au pairs from displaying piercing or from smoking. Some families lacked their privacy as the au pair could hear all arguments and see all the problems of the family. Yet some single parent-families were happy to have another person living the house beside the small children. On the other hand some host families limited their interaction with the au pair to a polite minimum with notes on the table of what is expected which day and envelopes with money each week on the same place.
Many au pairs, though not satisfied with the host mother/father, expressed a deep commitment to the children in their care. Some even thought it is their responsibility to find a suitable replacement upon their leave.
The pseudo-family relationship is not displayed only between the au pair and the parents but also between the au pair and the children. Some children find it very hard to have a new person in the house every year. Some wrongly assumed the person is their servant. Yet most au pairs find sooner or later their way into the children´s heart and became so close that the au pair usually expressed the feelings of pity for “their” children growing up with stranger rather than with their parents.
As there are no rules for the pseudo-family relationships and there are always two cultures colliding, there is nothing like an ideal pseudo-family relationship. Each individual has different ideas of the relationship. Even though it can happen by chance that the au pair and the family share a similar perspective on the type of
35 relationship this pseudo-family relationship should be (distant and cold or close and warm).
36 3. RESEARCH
3.1 Introduction to research
The research focuses on the development of the language skills and cultural awareness of young people who went to / or are in the UK as au pairs. I used both the quantitative research and qualitative research. For the main part of my research I used the quantitative research which was done via questionnaire. Quantitative research focuses on testing hypotheses (to confirm or falsify them) and the information found by this method have high validity. In addition I used also the qualitative research by means of interviews. The aim of qualitative research is deeper understanding of the examined reality. Its advantage is high reliability.
I myself was an au pair in the UK. I spent two years in Kent (a county in south
England) in three different families, taking care of seven children altogether. Having gone through the experience I can tell its benefits as well as its downsides.
Nevertheless, I consider it an immense experience and I wanted to explore whether au pairing has similar impact on other young people.
To me, au pairing was beneficial in various ways. First of all, it gave me the opportunity of self-development or growing up. It was the first time I lived away from my parents, doing what I loved (taking care of children and spending time with them) and what I knew well (cleaning the houses) without the concern for house-bills yet. I was responsible for the children, their well-being, I had to find a way how to communicate with the host families, and having no adult to watch over me I had to make all decisions on my own. All of these helped me to mature. Secondly, I really learned the English language. I was an au pair at the time prior to the Czech
37 Republic joining the EU and therefore even before Czech teachers at Grammar schools had a good knowledge of the English language and a good pronunciation of it. I went to the UK thinking I could speak, write and read, but it was not until I heard the real English when I realised how little I knew. Thirdly, I witnessed for the first time a different culture, different way of life. Lastly, I met new people even some friends for life. Such excellent benefits absolutely exceeded all the downsides of au pairing.
With these experiences my assumptions were the following. Firstly, I assumed that being surrounded daily by the foreign language must help everybody to improve their language skills. Secondly, I believe that living in the country is a great way to learn about the culture and a way of life. Thirdly, I assumed that all the participants enjoyed their au pair experience and thus would recommend the au pair scheme to others. Based on these assumptions I created a questionnaire comprised of twelve questions, concerning au pairs´ language skills, their cultural awareness and their point of view of the scheme. I wanted to detect our main pieces of information: (1) if and how did the au pair´s language skills improved during the time they stayed in UK,
(2) what did the respondents learn about the different culture and different way of life,
(3) to confirm or disprove information in the theory part I asked the au pairs about their reasons why they wanted to be participants in this scheme, (4) if the respondents would recommend this experience to others and why. To have some information about the respondents I also asked about their gender and which country are they from (to see the variety). I did not ask about their age as all would fall into the group of eighteen to thirty as was explained in the theory part.
Subsequently, I have sent this on-line questionnaire to all my friends and their friends who went to or are in UK as au pairs. As I would not receive more than twenty
38 responses I asked present au pairs where do they meet on-line and I was introduced to some “au pair groups” in a well known social network. I found several more and became a member of these groups so I could ask all members to fill in my questionnaire. From this work I have received one hundred and fourteen replies. The summary and outcome of the research, its validity or invalidity of my assumptions are described in the following subchapter.
3.2 Evaluation of the Research
My research was done via on-line questionnaire consisting of twelve questions related to au pair´s language skills prior to and after the au pair experience, their cultural awareness and their point of view of the scheme. Altogether I had one hundred and fourteen respondents from different European countries, mostly women who all worked or are working as au pairs in UK. In order to make my research more comprehensible I will include a list of the questions and I will use diagrams in the evaluation.
3.2.1 List of the questions
Here is the list of the questions I used in my on-line questionnaire.
1. Which country are you from?
2. Are you male or female?
3. What were the reasons why you wanted to become an au pair?
4. Do you know why your family is employing an au pair?
39 5. What was your level of English (according to the CEFR) before you became an au pair?
6. How did your English improve during your stay as an au pair? What level
(according to the CEFR) were you after the stay?
7. If you are on the same level (according to CEFR), please state if and what language skills have you improved during your au pair experience
8. What activities did you do to improve your English?
9. How long have you been an au pair?
10. What was the biggest surprise / most shocking thing when you came to the UK?
11. What did you learn about the life and culture in UK?
12. Would you recommend to your friends to become an au pair? Why? Why not?
All the questions will be mentioned again through out the evaluation of the research.
3.2.2 The respondents
My first two questions established who are my respondents. I asked about the gender of the respondents and which country they were from.
Most of my respondents were women, only two were men (see Graph 1 –
Gender). These data correspond with the information from the theory part about the sex of au pairs. Most au pairs are young women. Even though there are young men interested in this scheme it is harder for them to find a host family.
40
men - 2 women - 112
Graph 1 - Gender
I have received replies from young people from seventeen countries, sixteen of which are European. Most of my respondents were naturally from the Czech
Republic as I have asked personally my friends and theirs friends to participate in this research (see Graph 2 – Country). Since au pairing is limited by age I did not include a question about age in my questionnaire.
Czech Republic - 65 Slovakia - 7 Hungary - 1 Finland - 1 Netherlands - 1 Germany - 14 Slovenia - 1 France - 6 Spain - 5 Italy - 3 Poland - 2 Austria - 3 Sweden - 1 Belgium - 1 Iceland - 1 Argentina - 1 Greece – 1
Graph 2 - Country
41 3.2.3 The motives
Next two questions were dealing with the reasons for taking part in the au pair scheme. I asked the au pairs why they decided to be a part of this scheme and also if they knew why their host families employed them.
In the first questions I offered some answers but at the same time I allowed space for any personal answers. All au pairs marked more than one option, usually three or four. In their answers the respondents confirm all the reasons stated in the related sources (see Chapter 2) such as learning the language, visiting the country, preparing for a job abroad, becoming familiar with the culture, earning money, wanting to go away form their parents, failed relationships, self-development, adventure, getting experience in childcare, a gap year in education, meeting new people, trying a new job (see Graph 3 - Motives).
learning the language - 58 visiting the country - 51 preparing for next job abroad - becoming familiar with the cul- 22 ture - 48 earning money - 35 wanting to go away from their parents - 45 unsuccessful partnership – 8 self-development - 54 adventure - 11 experience in child care – 34 a gap year in education – 8 meeting new people – 10 trying a new job – 15 being close to their Czech friends – 1 future study in the country – 1 curiosity – 3 inability to find a job in home escaping problems – 2 country – 1
Graph 3 - Motives
42 As stated before reasons could be very individual. Some au pairs included: wanting to be with their Czech friends (1 answer), getting used to the country due to future studies there (1 answer), curiosity (3 answers), inability to find a proper job in home country (1 answer), escaping problems (2 answers).
The main reason for becoming an au pair was learning the language and improving the language skills (total of twenty two percent of the answers.) This number confirms that learning the language is still the main reason for the au pair scheme (see Chapter 2). However becoming familiar with the culture was not such an important reason. The next highest number had the self-development motive
(twelve percent) followed closely by the wish to visit the country (eleven and half percent), learning the local culture (eleven percent) and the need to “obtain a critical distance from their parents” (Búriková and Miller, 24; see Chapter 2), which was ten percent of the answers.
The second question, if the respondents knew why their family employed an au pair, was optional as I expected not all the host parents would share their opinions with the au pairs.
This proved to be the truth as some did not answer and some answers were the au pairs opinions. Twenty four au pairs mention that the family needed help as both parents were working full time, but they did not define whether the full time jobs were a choice or a must. Two au pairs even included the working hours of the parents showing that they could not even give the children the breakfast and walk them to school. Five responses were really only personal opinions as the au pairs could not understand how a mother who does not work cannot be able to look after the children and household unless she was “very lazy”. Seven respondents were
43 working in a single parent family and explained that when a parent works full time there is a need for someone to take care of the children. One au pair said that her host parents own a business which is very busy during the summer therefore when children are on holidays from school parents are working hard so they hired an au pair to be with the children during the day. Five answers were confirming the cost of a childcare where the au pair is the cheapest option. Three families had one member terminally sick (mother had MS6, children were disabled) and in these families the au pair was a great help to the whole family. Illness of a family member was interesting answer as this option was not mentioned in any of the related sources.
Only one au pair stated that the cultural exchange was reason the family hired her. “Both parents speak French so they wanted to share the culture” wrote an au pair from France. One response confirmed the wish to keep a high standard of living even when children arrived: “Both parents work full time. I will use the words what my host mum always says when her daughter asks her why she has to go to work everyday and sometimes weekends and doesn´t spend time with her daughter -
´because we can travel twice a year so we can spend time abroad and if I didn´t go to work, you would not have so many toys as you have now´ “.
The saddest reason was given to me when I was an au pair in a single parent family. The mother said: “I could work from home and still do my job I am doing now, but I could not stand spending so much time with my troublesome kids.”
Question about families´ reasons for having an au pair was not really part of my research but when the au pairs chose to answer it, some of the replies were confirming the information from related sources and some answers were really interesting. For example, having an au pair when there is a disability or serious
6 MS = Multiple sclerosis, a very serious disease of the nervous system
44 illness in the family might help even families in countries that do not commonly employ au pairs such as the Czech Republic.
3.2.4 Language skills
The following five questions were about the language skills. The au pairs were asked what level of English they had prior to travelling to UK and what level they had after finishing their au pair experience / or right now, if there are still working as au pairs. For the distinction I used the Common European Framework of Reference for
Languages7.
“The CEFR has three broad bands – A, B and C. Each of those bands is divided into two, giving us six main levels: A1, A2, B1, B2, C1, C2. The descriptions of each level are skills-based and take the form of Can Do statements. These descriptions of ability focus on communicative purpose and make for a very practical approach, which looks at what people can do – rather than on specific linguistic knowledge” (Introductory Guide). I used the six levels with the Can Do statements, so each respondent could find their suitable level. In the questions I also allowed space for personal statements for those who have improved their language skills within one level of CEFR so respondents could wrote about their improvement if there was any.
In next questions I verified the length of the stay in UK of my respondents and I
7 Common European Framework of Reference for Languages – CEFR, is a guideline used to describe achievements of learners of foreign languages across Europe. It was put together by the Council of
Europe as the main part of the project "Language Learning for European Citizenship" between 1989 and 1996. Its main aim is to provide a method of learning, teaching and assessing which applies to all languages in Europe.
45 asked them to mark all activities that they engaged in in order to improve their language skills.
Captivating was the finding that all the au pairs stated to have improved their language skills. This was regardless of their length of stay or their prior knowledge of the language. Sixty five percent of all respondents improved their language skills by one or more levels (according to the CEFR). Those, whose English remained within the same level (according to the CEFR), all wrote about expanding their vocabulary, becoming more confident and fluent, having better pronunciation and acquiring the correct accent (see Graph 4 – Language improvement). There were only two young women who went to the UK with very high language skills (C2), yet even these confirmed improvement such as better understanding and using different dialects and slang words.
improvement within the improvement by 1 level - 46 same level - 40 improvement by 2 levels - 20 improvement by 3 levels - 8 improvement by 4 levels - 0
Graph 4 - Language improvement
Even though learning the language was the main reason to come to the country and as stated most au pairs have improved their language skills, I found it interesting how little of them actually attended the classes at the college or had lessons with private teachers. It was only nine percent of all activities for improving language skills.
46 attended English classes at attended other classes - 5 college - 33 communication with the family communication with other na- - 91 tive speakers - 71 watching TV - 81 communication with native friends - 80 volunteering work - 9 nothing - 5 reading books - 6 listening to the radio - 1 hiring private teachers - 2 study on their own - 1
Graph 5 - Activities
As the graph (see Graph 5 - Activities) shows the respondents learned mostly by talking with people and by watching television. The au pairs spoke not only with their host families, but also with their local friends they had met and they interacted with other native speakers. These activities came to a total of sixty three percent.
Twenty one percent of answers were about watching the television films and serials both with and without subtitles. These findings confirm that being surrounded by the language and by native speakers of the language does really help to improve one´s language skills.
3.2.5 First differences
Two subsequent questions were about the culture, what au pairs witnessed and learned about the way of life in the UK. The first of those was about the first or the biggest surprise, meaning what was the most shocking thing for the au pairs when they started to live in UK. The answers were interesting, some very often
47 repeating and I decide to divide them into six groups.
The first group could be named Houses. The respondents were complaining about the cold inside of the houses, some had as little as 18 or even 16 degrees
Celsius. However British people were “still wearing T-shirts and no socks!!!” (one au pair from the Czech Republic) and they “are never cold while I'm freezing all the time”
(an au pair from Slovenia). As one au pair stated: “Generally, houses were badly insulated and therefore cold in winter.” One young lady from France was surprised by
“the kitchen being the room where you spend most of your time and where you receive people in”. Respondents mentioned many times the unexpected separated water taps both in the washbasins and the bathtubs and the au pair from Argentina was missing a bidet in the bathroom. Last surprising thing, for the au pairs, in the house was the light switch as in some houses this is in a form of a rope or a chain hanging from the ceiling and a person must pull this down in order to switch the light on or off.
Second group covers the food. According to some of my respondents British people eat very unhealthy and use a great deal of vinegar in their meals. Some au pairs had problem with meal for lunch as it was “not a real meal but just a snack”
(one Czech au pair stated), others could not comprehend what the children were used to eat. A young lady from Austria noted: “I cannot stand the bread!!” and a
German au pair was surprised that “salad is mostly sold in plastic bags”. One respondent felt very strongly about the culture difference, she wrote: “Their cooking skills/methods are insane!”
The third group discussed the differences at school and education. Au pairs were astonished by the age when children start attending school and also by the
48 timetable for such young children, “they are starting at 9 and sometimes finish at half
3 pm so it was weird”. As au pairs look after children mainly in the afternoons and they also take care of the laundry many found it tiresome that children do not change clothes after school and play in their school uniforms.
The fourth group contains utterances about relationships. An au pair from
Poland wrote: “People keep asking 'how are you?' all the time and only expecting a
'fine, thank you' response - in my country you should start complaining if someone asks how are you”. Most respondents did not understand that parents spend so much time at work and so little time with their own children. “They have 4 kids and a dog but no time for them”. This probably had an effect on the relationships between the children and parents. According to the au pairs many children were spoilt as parents let them do whatever they like. There was no discipline and no respect for parents and the respondents felt this was most likely due to the fact that parents
“can't hit a child”.
Even though it is known stereotype that “in UK it always rains” some au pairs were surprised by the weather. As one put it “the weather here is awful!!”. The au pairs commented however mostly the behaviour of local people as they often do not carry umbrellas and walk in the rain without any protection from it. On the other hand when the sun does come out even in winter months such as “February or March when the temperature is quite low, some people wore only T shirts and shorts or tiny mini skirts...” Thus, it was more the people than the weather that surprised the respondents.
49 houses - 15 food - 14 schools and education - 11 relationships - 23 weather - 13 hygiene - 38 transport - 6 Graph 6 - First differences
The biggest shock to the respondents was hygiene or according to the au pairs “the lack of it”. As reported by the au pairs, British people are to be very untidy and messy. The respondents were displeased when they discover that the local people do not take off their shoes when they come in to the house and they wear the shoes in the whole house, in some families they even lay on the bed with their shoes on. This is regardless what weather is like outside. However, one au pair wrote she learnt to do the same. Some au pairs felt that British people do not observe the rules of hygiene when handling food and also when taking care and playing with pets. In some families, older children still wear nappies and one young lady complained that in her family the parents did not change the baby´s nappies often enough. She had to teach them to take care of their baby. Lack of hygiene was stated by far the most respondents (see the Graph 6 – First differences)
One answer stood out as it reminded me of my own experience: “The shock?
Realizing that the language is very different to the one I was taught at school.” Last thing that was mentioned several times was the price of public transport, it is very expensive to travel.
50 3.2.6 Cultural awareness
3.2.6.1 Relationships and behaviour
My next question was what did the au pair learn about the way of life during their stay, apart from what they have already mentioned in the previous question.
Unexpectedly, the issue that all the au pairs mentioned was the behaviour of British people towards the foreigners as well as themselves. Even though one au pair wrote:
“I think a lot depends on the person itself, I don´t really think you can describe a character like being friendly to a whole country”, according to the respondents the
British are nice, kind, friendly, helpful and very polite. They smile at others and appreciate foreigners trying to speak English to them. All au pairs had a good experience with people in the shops, stores, subways, restaurants, stations and on the streets. One au pair stated that British people working in services “honour the motto ´our customer is always right´ “, and many experienced being addressed
“darling”, “love” or “sweetie” although as customers they did not know the workers at all. Au pairs wrote that local adults say ´please´ and ´thank you´ all the time and they apologize even if the fault was not theirs. “English people are not so reserved and
´cold fish´as it is generally said”, mentioned one respondent. “Almost everybody is very friendly and chatty.” (for preconceptions and stereotypes see Chapter 1).
However, several au pairs, while they confirmed that British are friendly and polite, felt it was only a pretence. “Most of the British people I´ve met were really polite and nice, although in my experience most of the times it´s just a mask. Not many of them are sincere and tell you what they really think.” wrote one au pair from the Czech
Republic. Another au pair wrote that “people struggle with talking openly between
51 each other even in the closest family”. Another four au pairs sensed the insincerity from their host parents. Additionally, one commented on the way Brits greet each other: “British are very friendly, but not for real. I think it´s fake. They ask you: ´How are you?´ But don´t expect an answer. They do not care if you are sad or whatever.”
Two wonderful answers mentioned how tolerant British people are. “In the UK lives every race you could think of, so no racism or very light form” wrote one au pair working in London, and another one working in Brighton stated: “No one is going to be left behind because of Religion, cultural or social background or their sexual orientation! You can live the life the way you want! And no one is judging about you.”
Even though adults are nice and polite, the respondents claimed that the children are ill-mannered, spoiled and cheeky. Nearly all the au pairs were surprised by the behaviour of the children towards themselves and also towards their parents.
Many au pairs wrote how little time the parents spend with their children as they work long hours and some concluded this was the reason the children were behaving so badly. One au pair from Hungary wrote that “most English parents are literally scared of the situation when kids are crying – they let them do what they want”. Au pairs who worked in two-parent families where both parents were working full time felt that
British people are more career-oriented than family-oriented, even though they have usually three to five children (one had even nine children!). It was different in single- parent families, au pairs working there stated that the parents had no choice but to work full time.
The respondents noticed that children spend a considerable amount of time at school, in after school clubs and with nannies or au pairs except none of these are bringing them up. However, it is not the same in the whole UK – au pairs working in
52 the Northern Ireland commended the parents for teaching the children how to behave and for not spoiling the children. The au pairs observed that weekends and school holidays was generally the time which parents spent with their children taking them to parks, events for children, beaches, museums, shopping centres, entertainment parks and to foreign countries during the holidays. Other free time children spent by watching the television, playing on play-stations or tablets, while adults, when not watching television, go out a lot, to the restaurants, cafés, bars or pubs, some like gardening and only one au pair lived in the area where adults enjoyed biking and walking the dogs. During summer, the British people like barbecues and inviting people in or being invited.
3.2.6.2 Cuisine
Part of every culture is also the local cuisine. Most respondents wrote that
British cuisine is full of frozen ready-made meals, canned food and takeaways. As one put it “British cuisine does not exist”. Only eight au pairs stated that their family cooked at home and one complimented the “modern British cuisine with a variety of healthy food” (she worked in London). One Czech au pair was happy with the offer in the shops. Dairy free, gluten free and vegan are easy to get in any food shop, “even in the smallest one”.
The au pairs noticed that British people drink a great deal of tea even in a hot weather. Their tea is black (or ordinary as they like to call it) and they drink it with milk, some also use sugar. Tea is usually drunk with variety of biscuits, which some even dip in the tea. One meal that was mentioned many times was beans on toast.
53 According to the respondents, the British like it but the au pairs do not. Also according to the answers it seems that “every meal contains peas” and people eat a lot of “weird” pies.
The respondents had problem with the distribution of meals during the day.
While most European people have their main meal during the day, British have their main meal – dinner, in the evening, and their midday meal – lunch, is only “something small”, either a sandwich, beans on toast, some eggs, or salad.
What the au pairs did like was British apple pie and Sunday roast, two of them wrote these meals are “amazing”. Many of the host families have their grocery delivered, the au pairs liked this service, but at the same time they stated that not everybody in the UK gets their grocery delivered. Last thing that was mentioned in the answers was that alcohol (both in the shops and the bars) is very expensive.
3.2.6.3 Education system
Since au pairs look after children, they learned a bit about the education system. Children have to wear uniforms to school, they spend most of the day in schools, even the young ones. School starts usually at 9am and finishes around
3pm. Many respondents were surprised that the compulsory school attendance starts at the age of five, for some children at the age of four, when they attend “reception” for a year. These respondents felt it was very early for school attendance as they are used that in their home countries the children start school at later age. One au pair made an interesting point about the early education. Her four year old girl could read and write but she did not know “basic stuff like sharing or playing with others”.
54 Every school (state or private) requires uniforms, there are rules what pupils can and cannot wear including the rules for make-up. The au pairs claimed that unfortunately, young children do not change the clothes after the school, they spend the whole day in the uniform, therefore there is a lot of laundry in the households.
At primary schools both boys and girls are educated together, secondary schools are often separated. This was new to some au pairs. They also learnt that children at the primary schools do not study from books and they do not get much homework. Some au pairs think that children do not learn enough and that the level of education is “pretty low”. None of the respondent however explained this statement. Only some au pairs were surprised when they discovered that their peers in the UK did not know where the Czech Republic is. They demonstrated it in these words: “Some do not even know we are no longer Czechoslovakia”. Other au pairs, on the other hand, like that children are learning by playing, the education is aimed to improve the creativeness of children and the schools have many activities and events
(sports day, school disco, cooking day and others).
3.2.6.4 Transport
Another part of culture of any country is the way of transport. People in the UK drive on the left side of the road. This habit originated at the time of chivalry when the knights in full coat of armour rode on their horses while travelling from place to place.
In all European countries this was later changed and so it seems strange for tourists that in the UK people drive on the left side. Unexpectedly, au pairs that did not drive for their host families (taking children to school or to after school clubs) remarked the driving on the left a lot. They wrote that is was difficult at first to remember from which
55 side the car can come when they were crossing the roads. Those au pairs, who needed to use the cars, commented that is was “difficult”, “really big challenge”, and one au pair even wrote that she hated it. Nevertheless most au pairs commended the
British drivers for their skills and politeness.
What is unpleasant is the cost of travelling by train, coach or a bus. Many au pairs wanted to travel and see other parts of the UK and therefore they were using the public transport and some felt it was too expensive.
3.2.6.5 Health care
Fourteen au pairs of my respondents´group, ascertained what it is like to need the health care in the UK, and they were all disappointed. In the UK, you make and appointment when you need to see a doctor or a nurse. If you fall sick suddenly you need to call the surgery in the morning and ask for an appointment. If the surgery is fully booked they ask you to call the next morning. One au pair described a situation when she fell sick, had a high fever and for three days she could not get an appointment with the doctor. As everybody is calling in the morning the lines are very busy and by the time she got through all the appointments were taken. Another au pair has been complaining about a cough for over two months and only after that without any tests she was given antibiotics. Many times the au pairs were advised to take Paracetamol and stay in bed. When they actually did see the doctor and were given a prescription, each medicine costs over seven pounds. Very expensive is also the visit to a dentist.
Surprisingly none of the au pair mentioned what the health care is like when
56 the child they were looking after got ill. No one even said who was looking after the child, if the au pair or the host parents.
3.2.6.6 The stumbling block
Twelve of the answers to the question “What did you learn about the life and culture in UK?“ were: “nothing, no judgement at all”. The respondents either misunderstood the question or there is a possibility that in these cases it was the situation of stumbling block. As stated in the Chapter 1, one stumbling block, according to Barna, is the tendency to evaluate, to judge anther culture.
3.2.7 Recommendation
In the last question of the questionnaire I asked the respondents if they would recommend this experience to others and why. This question was optional, seventy four au pairs replied and forty left this question blank (see Graph 7 -
Recommendation)
no reply - 40 against it - 3 realistic view - 6 definitely recommend - 65
Graph 7 - Recommendation
57 Out of those who did reply, three wrote, that they would advise against it.
There are better jobs you can find abroad than looking after somebody´s children and being part of their household. Six respondents realistically stated that even though the experience is great and wonderful and they would recommend it to anyone, it is not always a bed of roses. Being an au pair can be “stressful and exhausting”, sometimes it can be really tough. It is only for those who “really love children and can be with them all the time”; tears are often included and as one put it, it is like a lottery:
“if you are lucky you find a nice family but if not your experience can be a disaster”.
The rest of the au pairs (sixty five respondents) wrote only the best reviews about being an au pair and some would not only recommend it to others but would love to have the chance to repeat the experience again. According to these respondents “it is a great opportunity to broaden your horizons, become independent”, one can
“learn to rely on yourself”, “it is amazing”, au pair learns the foreign language, can travel a lot, and mainly meets new people, even makes friends for life. Apart from learning the language and meeting new people, sixteen au pairs mentioned the opportunity to learn, discover, experience and gain an insight into the culture as one aspect for which they would recommend the scheme to others. “It's a good way to improve your English at the same time you are living for your own the British cultural experience.”
3.2.8 Summary
By the questionnaire I wanted to detect: (1) their reasons for becoming au pairs, (2) if and how the au pairs´ language skills improved during the time they
58 stayed in UK, (3) what did the respondents learn about the different culture and different way of life and (4) if the respondents would recommend this experience to others and why.
The first two pieces of information confirmed that being an au pair in UK is valuable way of learning English language. All the respondents confirmed improvement of their language skills: This was regardless they prior knowledge of the language and also the time period they spend as au pairs in the UK. The au pairs either improved their fluency, understanding, they enhanced their vocabulary or learnt specific details such as using different dialects. The respondents also confirmed the main reason for taking part in this scheme was to learn the language and to improve the language skills. They had, however, also different reasons for au pairing.
The next question was about the culture awareness. The au pairs were to write what did they learn about British culture during their stay. Most of the au pairs wrote what they observed; some things are part of the British culture, other were just the feelings of the respondents or something specific for their host family.
Unfortunately in some cases, since the au pairs were in the UK only for a short period of time, or met only few local people, the au pairs could not distinguish these.
Nevertheless being an au pair seems to be one of the best way to learn British culture, as one learns it while immersed in it.
Most of the respondents would recommend au pairing to their friends.
According to them it is a great opportunity to broaden ones mind, to meet new people, improve language skills and to gain an insight into the local culture.
59 3.3 Interviews
3.3.1 Participants
Part of the research for this thesis were also interviews with four young people, two male and two female, Adam, Dan, Jana and Nela (the names have been changed). They are all Czechs, Adam and Jana have been working as an au pair for last seven months, Dan and Nela were au pairs some time ago; Dan was an au pair for three years, and he is now teaching English language in the Czech Republic and
Nela was au pair for two years, and is now working as Nanny in the UK. Adam, Dan,
Jana and Nela were asked thirteen to fifteen same questions. The aim of the interviews was to confirm or disprove information in the related sources and to find more deep information about the au pair experience.
Adam and Jana are working for their first host family, Dan worked only in one host family too, but Nela was an au pair in four different host families. However she explained she did not have a family which she would have to leave for bad working or living conditions. There are some sad stories about au pairs who had to leave their host families as the conditions in the host family were not acceptable for the au pair.
Nela´s first host family did not need an au pair any more (children grew up), in the second host family they started with reconstruction of the house and thus Nela had nowhere to stay, the third family needed a help only while the father was away for six months, and the last host family had a child with a chronic mental illness and they all realised that having a stranger in the house was not good for him. After that, having experience in childcare in the UK, Nela started to work as a Nanny.
Dan, Nela and Jana are all common au pairs, meaning they all are/were
60 looking after children in the host family and helping with the house chores. Dan had an extra job as a gardener and a handyman.8 Adam is a “dog au pair” - his main activity is taking care of a Great Swiss Mountain dog. Actually, Adam said, since he likes dogs, he was able to find a host family quite soon even though he is a man. His host family had au pairs before but he is their first male au pair. Great Swiss
Mountain is really a big dog and the family felt that a man might be better for it. Adam is helping with the children too, but they are both teenagers so they do not need him much.
3.3.2 Motives
All four interviewees wanted to improve their language skills and therefore decided to become an au pair. Jana said that she loves children, needed to escape some problems at home and she wanted to meet new people, so for her becoming an au pair was a clear choice. Nela also likes to meet new people, but she wanted to become independent too, and Adam included the wish to try something new. Neither of them mentioned the culture exchange.
Dan was attending the Language school, but he was not improving at all.
Therefore he decided to go to the UK to live there and learn the language. He left just before the Czech Republic become a member of the EU9.
8 Some au pairs use their free time to work for another family, they either clean their houses or do some babysitting. No where in the rules is this allowed, yet neither it is forbidden. 9 At that time is was not easy to get working visa, and thus becoming an au pair was the easiest way to travel to and stay in the UK for a longer period of time.
61 3.3.3 Pseudo-family relationships
In the theory part some sources were talking about the pseudo-family relationship (see Chapter 2) and thus the interviewees were asked about the relationships with their host parents. Jana and Dan felt as a part of the family. Dan was looking after four boys and he was seen as another son, as the oldest brother of the boys. His host family helped him with the language and took him on family holidays. They were willing to pick him up from train station when ever he needed and they prepared a birthday´s party for him. Dan is still in contact with the family – both families (Dan´s and the British family) visit each other, send each other
Christmas cards and present for the children, and now the host family is helping Dan with his thesis. Jana is taking care of a six-year old boy and the host parents treats her as a daughter. They are supporting her and helping her. Jana appreciates that when she forbids the boy to do something, the host parents respect her decision.
This is not common in all families, which is why she appreciates it. Jana is commenting the relationship as wonderful and she is hoping they will be in contact when she will leave. She added that some previous au pairs come to visit the host family every year.
Adam is happy in his family, but he says he is not easy to get close to, to become friends with. However the host parents managed it and see him now as a friend rather than a family member, though the mother treats him sometimes as an employee. Adam wishes to be in contact with the family once he leaves.
Nela worked in four families and she was describing their communication rather than the relationship. I had to ask once again if she felt she was a part of the
62 family or not and Nela replied: “I was more like a friend yet still an employee”. Nela had visited the first host family once, but due to being very busy she is hardly in contact with any of the host families now.
3.3.4 Cultural exchange
Next questions were about the culture exchange. The first one was if the respondent introduced any Czech culture to the host families and what was their reaction to it. Next question was: “In what way do you see British culture different to
Czech one?” and the last question asked what the interviewees liked or dislike about
British culture. Nela and Dan spent more time in the UK than Adam and Jana who have been there only for seven months now.
Adam was least talkative about this topic. He said that he spoke a little bit about the Czech Republic, but “nothing special”. He thinks that in comparison to
Czechs the British have better quality of life, are more friendly towards others and they communicate better. Nevertheless the upbringing or the childcare is not as good as in the Czech Republic and he would never personally employ an au pair for his children. This is very interesting point: he himself is benefiting from the au pair scheme but would not open this opportunity for others. Adam likes the way people in
Britain communicate.
Jana, on the other hand, is in love with Britain (most likely the first stage of
Culture shock – see Chapter 1) and she speaks about it a lot. Jana likes history and sights, therefore she used the “youtube videos” about the Czech Republic (from the websites www.youtube.com), to show her host family her country. The family liked it
63 and was surprised how many and how lovely sights are there in the Czech Republic.
Jana went to see some British sights but she prefers the Czech ones. Jana met friendly and helpful people in Britain and she thinks British are more helpful to the
Czechs who often refuse to help when one asks for it. Jana is one of the few au pairs who commends the British cuisine. Her host dad cooks, both the ready made meals and from scratch and she loves it. She is very keep on any meat pies and Yorkshire pudding. Jana does not like that British children start the school attendance as young as four but she likes that they have so many school holidays (in comparison to Czech children). Regarding holidays, Jana celebrated Halloween, which was new to her and she considered it “fine”, and she is looking forward to experience of celebration
Christmas in the UK. As any other au pair from the Czech Republic (according to the research), it bothers her that children cannot be “smacked”.
Dan cooked some Czech meals for the host family. They had open mind and tried everything he cooked for them. When they came to visit him, in the restaurant they were asking for sauerkraut as that was one more food they wanted to try.
Interesting moment was when Dan went mushroom picking in the woods and consequently he cooked mushroom soup. Family members were worried to eat it as the mushrooms could be poisonous. That was when Dan learnt British, unlike the
Czechs, do not go mushroom picking. Dan also brought from his home country
Czech wine for the host parents to try, and “Krteček”/ The little mole 10 for the children to watch. The children really liked the little mole. Dan feels that British communicate more with their children. His host family sat at the dinner together and were talking to each other, asking the children about their days and their opinions e.g. where they
10 Krteček is an animated character in a series of cartoons with the same title, created by Czech animator Zdeněk Miler. Since its inception, the cartoon won itself an enormous popularity in many Central European countries.
64 wanted to go on holidays. Also over the weekends the parents were spending time with the children. He had different experience from his own family when he was growing up. This answer was very unexpected, since a large number of Czech au pairs feel the parents do not spend enough time with their children (according to the research). What appealed to Dan was the “English style of houses”, he said when he and his partner returned from UK, they “refurbished the house in English country style”). The big difference in cultures, according to Dan, is that British children love school, unlike the Czech ones.
Nela was cooking for her families too. She cooked some typical Czech meals
(vepřo knedlo zelo, smažený květak, koprovku, kuře na paprice). Host families liked the meals, but they were something completely different for them. All her families were eating ready made meals, and Nela says: “I do not consider this to be cooking!”. With her families she was comparing holidays´ celebrations and the British were shocked by the Czech Easter´s tradition. Nela sees British to be nicer and friendlier to strangers in comparison to the Czech people. She said: “You walk into the shop and the shop assistant gives you a smile, even have a little chat with you. I have not experience that in my home country.” On the other hand, she thinks British often dissimulate and she does not like it. She is also unhappy with the education in the UK, she thinks it is bad. She used the example of Czechoslovakia to support her point of view. Many people in her surroundings did not know where the Czech
Republic is, and some believe it is still Czechoslovakia.
65 3.3.5 Experiences from au pair scheme
The interviewees were to answer these three questions:
1. What was the strongest experience of your stay?
2. Did anything particular surprised you during your stay?
3. How have you changed personally after the au pair experience?
The strongest experience for Adam was meeting people from all over the world and changing his life style to a healthier one. Dan runs several races (marathons, half marathons and an ultra-marathon) and thus he was a “superman for the boys”. Jana does not yet have any strongest experience as everything she has done so far was
“superb”. Nela feels her strongest experience was when she was changing the family for the first time. She had to do everything on her own: find a family, sort out the move.
The biggest surprise for Adam was the weather. He was expecting rain, cold and dark, yet so far it has been nice and sunny. There was a lovely spring and summer in England. Dan went to a local pub (after six months in the UK) and was invited for a dinner party by a group of villagers. Later, they all become friends. Nela commented on the upbringing of children. “I was surprised by the upbringing, which I think is pretty disastrous. In many cases it is the children who make decisions, not the parent. That is very sad.” Jana laughed at the question and said: “Pregnancy”.
Jana has a boyfriend who is actually a son of her host mother from the previous marriage. Should Jana and her boyfriend get married it would mean she is now working as an au pair for her future mother-in-law.
Both Adam and Jana think this experience has not changed them in any way yet, even though Jana admits improvement in her English. Dan did not want to have
66 his own children when he become an au pair. But he met another au pair, they got married and now have three children of their own. Also he was not able to improve in
English while going to language schools in his home country, now he is a teacher of
English language. Nela confessed she became mature and started to appreciate things she used to take for granted.
3.3.6 Recommendation
The last questions for all of the participants was if they would recommend au pairing to their friends and why. All four of them said yes, they would. Adam realistically admits that it is not for everybody, and Jana confirmed that a great deal of patience is needed. But “if you love children it is wonderful experience! You improve your language skills and, meet new people and discover new culture”. Dan adds to meeting new people that there is time to learn the language, while the person does not have a real job and bills to pay. And Nela has a personal experience with the recommendation. She persuaded her unemployed friend who did not speak English well and was getting over a breakup with her boyfriend, to come to the UK as au pair.
Her friend improved her language skills and started new episode of her life.
3.3.7 Male au pairs
Both Adam and Dan did not have any problems to find a family and they did not face any prejudice. Adam said it was not easy to find host family, yet it took him only three weeks to find one and to agree on working for them as an au pair. He
67 registered at one of the biggest worldwide au pair agencies and he was also looking for a family on the social networks, where he actually found his family. He thinks he was lucky to get a family so fast and it was only due to his love for dogs. His host family did not have a male au pair before nevertheless people in the neighbourhood were only surprised by male au pair. He does not have any bad experience.
Dan registered at the biggest au pair agency in the Czech Republic at that time but he was told it would take about a year to find him a family. He went to another agency and was offered a family in six weeks. The family had four children which surprised him, but worrying he might not find another family soon, he accepted the post and he was very glad he did. Dan was fourth au pair in the host family, but first male one. He also met no prejudice. He said: “In pub they called me nanny, but it was fun. I had extra job as a gardener and handyman. Everybody was happy with my job.”
3.3.8 Summary
As seen in these interviews au pair experience is very personal. Each au pair has different family, is treated differently and also each au pair has different expectations of the scheme. What all the participants have in common is their main motive for becoming an au pair. The wanted to improve their language skills. Another point in common is that they would all recommend this scheme to their friends.
All four interviewees have good relationships with their host parents, nevertheless Adam and Nela have been sometimes treated more as employees than as family members. Neither of the interviewees spoke about the term culture exchange, but they all (more or less) introduced the Czech culture to their host
68 families and learnt something about British culture. Those who have been au pairing only seven months feel they did not changed personally due to the experience, while the other two, who worked as au pairs for several years stated that this experience changed them.
Male au pairs faced no prejudice, however both feel it was luck that they found a host family so quickly. This shows they both expected to have problems to find a family being males.
69 CONCLUSION
The aim of this thesis was to prove that au pair experience is a valuable way of learning foreign language and the culture of the country, namely English language and the culture of the UK. My suppositions (based on my own experience as an au pair) were the following. Firstly, I assumed that being surrounded daily by the foreign language must help everybody to improve their language skills. Secondly, I believe that living in the country is a great way to learn about the culture and a way of life.
Thirdly, I assumed that all the participants enjoyed their au pair experience and thus would recommend the au pair scheme to others. The questionnaire, that was created based on these suppositions, was sent on-line to former and current au pairs in the
UK. One hundred and fourteen respondents replied to the questionnaire. Their answers were analysed to find out and comment if the suppositions were correct and if the aim of this thesis was met.
My first assumption was that being surrounded daily by the foreign language must help everybody to improve their language skills. All the respondents confirmed my assumption as they all stated that they improved their language skills. This was regardless of the length of stay or their prior knowledge of the language. I used
CEFR for the distinction. Sixty five percent of all respondents stated to have improved their language skills by one or more levels (according to the CEFR). Those, whose English remained within the same level, all wrote about expanding their vocabulary, becoming more confident and fluent, having better pronunciation and acquiring the correct accent.
The second assumption was that living in the country is a great way to learn
70 about the culture and a way of life. This was not confirmed nor falsified by the respondents. Even though they all learned something about the way of life in the UK, this knowledge was mostly based on their host families´ lives. The respondents commented on the childcare, upbringing of the children, family live, local cuisine, and it is hard to distinguish if those points relate to the country´s culture or only to particular family. Besides, the au pairs learned about the schools and education systems, as they usually look after children, and each commented on the helpful behaviour of the local people to each other as well as to foreigners.
The third assumption was that all the participants enjoyed their au pair experience and thus would recommend the au pair scheme to others. Most au pairs would recommend au pairing to their friends, some would not and some stated that it is not for everybody, as not everyone manages to live in a different family and help with the childcare and house chores. However, eighty eight percent of the respondents thought it is a great experience and opportunity, thus this hypothesis was partially confirmed.
The results of this research show that becoming an au pair in the UK is a valuable way to improve English language skills. While living in the country as part of the host family one can also develop some cultural awareness, which is an essential part of living in our current world.
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74 APPENDICES
1. THE QUESTIONNAIRE
1. Which country are you from?
2. Are you male or female? male female
3. What were the reasons why you wanted to become an au pair? (You can mark more options.) visit the country become familiar with the culture improve your English meet new people get experience in childcare become independent try a new job having a break from studies (a gap year) earn money prepare for next job abroad adventure “running away” from parents, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend other (please state)
4. How long have you been an au pair? 0-3 months 4-6 months 7-12 months 1-2 years
75 other (please state)
5. What was your level of English before you became an au pair? Level of English language (A1, A2, B1, B2, C1 and C2) as taken from the European Language Porfolio. A1 - I could recognise familiar words and very basic phrases concerning myself, my family when people spoke slowly and clearly. I could ask and answer simple on very familiar topics. I could use simple phrases and sentences to describe where I lived and people I knew. A2 - I could understand phrases and vocabulary related to personal relevance. I could catch the main point in short, clear, simple messages and announcements. I could use a series of phrases and sentences to describe in simple terms my family and other people, my educational background and my job. B1 - I could understand the main points of clear standard speech on familiar matters. I could understand the main point of many radio or TV programmes on current affairs when the delivery was slow and clear. I could deal with most situations likely to arise whilst travelling in an area where the language is spoken. I could briefly give reasons and explanations for opinions and plans. B2 - I could understand extended speech and lectures and follow even complex lines of argument provided the topic was reasonably familiar. I could understand most TV news. I could interact with a degree of fluency and spontaneity. I could take an active part in discussion in familiar contexts. I could present clear, detailed descriptions on a wide range of subjects related to my field of interest. C1 - I could understand extended speech even when it was not clearly structured. I could understand TV programmes and films without too much effort. I could express myself fluently and spontaneously without much obvious searching for expressions. I could formulate ideas and opinions with precision and relate my contribution skilfully to those of other speakers. C2 - I had no difficulty in understanding any kind of spoken language, whether live or broadcast, even when delivered at fast native speed, provided. I could
76 take part effortlessly in any conversation or discussion and had a good familiarity with idiomatic expressions and colloquialisms. I could present a clear, smoothly-flowing description or argument in a style appropriate to the context and with an effective logical structure which helped the recipient to notice and remember significant points.
6.How did your English improved during your stay as an au pair? What level were you after the stay? (please use the information from the question 5) A1 A2 B1 B2 C1 C2
7.If you are on the same level (according to CEFR), please state if and what language skills have you improved during the stay in UK
8. What activities did you do to improve your English? (You can mark more options.) attended English classes at college attended different classes at college spoke a lot with the children and the family interacted with other native speakers watched TV programs and films with subtitles watched TV programs and films without subtitles spend time with friends you met in the UK got involved in a volunteering work none other (please state)
9. If your English has not improved as much as you wanted, what would you do differently if you had the chance? (You can mark more options.)
77 not spend so much time with friends from my own country attend classes at college look after older children and speak with them more interact (more) with native speakers use (more) local media: watch TV, read newspapers nothing other (please state)
10. What was the biggest surprise / what you did not expect to be so different to your own country? (e.g. separate water tubs, or driving habits – good/bad, really anything that really shocked you)
11. What did you learn about the life and culture? (e.g. How do British people behave towards foreigners or towards themselves? Are they family or career oriented? How important for them are other relatives? How do they spent their free time? What did you learn about their cuisine? What did you learn about their family life? What is their school system like? What is the healthcare system like? Write as much as you can and please be specific.)
12. Would you recommend to your friends to become an au pair? Why? Why not?
13. Would you know why your host family wanted/needed an au pair? (please do not write “to look after the children“, but e.g. “to look after the children because both parents had to work full time to pay the mortgage”, or “there are 4 children and 1 baby in the family and the mother needed help” or maybe even "it is cheaper to have an au pair than to hire a Nanny")
78 2. THE CEFR GLOBAL SCALE
A1 • Can understand and use familiar everyday expressions and very basic phrases aimed at the satisfaction of needs of a concrete type. • Can introduce him/herself and others and can ask and answer questions about personal details such as where he/she lives, people he/she knows and things he/she has. • Can interact in a simple way provided the other person talks slowly and clearly and is prepared to help.
A2 • Can understand sentences and frequently used expressions related to areas of most immediate relevance (e.g. very basic personal and family information, shopping, local geography, employment). • Can communicate in simple and routine tasks requiring a simple and direct exchange of information on familiar and routine matters. • Can describe in simple terms aspects of his/her background, immediate environment and matters in areas of immediate need.
B1 • Can understand the main points of clear standard input on familiar matters regularly encountered in work, school, leisure, etc. • Can deal with most situations likely to arise whilst travelling in an area where the language is spoken. • Can produce simple connected text on topics, which are familiar, or of personal interest. • Can describe experiences and events, dreams, hopes & ambitions and briefly give reasons and explanations for opinions and plans.
79 B2 • Can understand the main ideas of complex text on both concrete and abstract topics, including technical discussions in his/her field of specialisation. • Can interact with a degree of fluency and spontaneity that makes regular interaction with native speakers quite possible without strain for either party. • Can produce clear, detailed text on a wide range of subjects and explain a viewpoint on a topical issue giving the advantages and disadvantages of various options.
C1 • Can understand a wide range of demanding, longer texts, and recognise implicit meaning. • Can express him/herself fluently and spontaneously without much obvious searching for expressions. • Can use language flexibly and effectively for social, academic and professional purposes. • Can produce clear, well-structured, detailed text on complex subjects, showing controlled use of organisational patterns, connectors and cohesive devices
C2 • Can understand with ease virtually everything heard or read. • Can summarise information from different spoken and written sources, reconstructing arguments and accounts in a coherent presentation. • Can express him/herself spontaneously, very fluently and precisely, differentiating finer shades of meaning even in more complex situations.
80 3. THE INTERVIEW
1. How long have you been working / did you work as an au pair? 2. Why did you want to become an au pair? 3. In how many host families have you worked? (if more than 1, why did you leave the previous one) 4. If you have already left a family, are you in contact with them? If you are in your first one, are you planning to stay in touch with them? 5. Are you looking after children/pets/household/elderly people? 6. Have you introduced some Czech culture to your host family? What? (e.g. cuisine, habits, holidays, music, education, travelling, art, traditions) What was their reaction? If you have not, why? 7. What is the relationship between the parents and you like? 8. What was the strongest experience of your stay? 9. In what way do you see British culture different to Czech one? 10. Do you like anything from British culture? If so, what exactly? If not, why? 11. Would you recommend this experience to your friends? Why yes, why not? 12. Did anything particular surprised you during your stay? 13. How have you changed personally after the au pair experience?
For male: 14. Was it hard to find a family that takes male au pair in? If yes, what did you have to do, where did you look to find one, and how long it took you to find one? 15. Did you face any prejudice because you are male au pair? From the families, their friends, neighbours… If yes, how did you deal with it?
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