’s STUDENT NEWSPAPER Of The Year 2005 Trinity News Est. 1947 Ireland’s Oldest Student Newspaper

Tuesday, March 7th, 2006 [email protected] Vol.58 No.7 Win a pair of tickets The TNT Power to this year’s Oxegen! TNT p2-5 GIVEAWAY page 21 List 2006 Arrest in Front Square after foiled GMB raid Gearóid O’ Rourke ed one of the individuals. With the that there had been a vacancy for a from Coolock, has any prior con- arrangement for management of In this incident there was removedfrom the college camous aid of college security this man was security attendant in the GMB for victions. the GMB into the spotlight. A new nothing stolen due to the timely by Gardaí following an incident in Two individuals, described as handed over to the Gardaí. A subse- almost a year yet it had not been If the offence is dealt committee referred to as the GMB intervention of a Hist Committee front square. The college “junkies”, attempted to break into quent search by security revealed filled. It is only in the last two with as a summary offence he management committee in Phil member however some minor dam- Communications Office said the the GMB last Friday and to force that the man had two syringes in weeks that interviews for this posi- could face up to two years in prison documents had been set up at the age was done to the building and issue was a personal one which dd entry to several rooms in the build- his possession. tion have taken place. while if it is decided to take the end of last year to look into the sit- the door to the Hist Committee not involve the College directy. ing including the Hist Committee At the time of the break The individual detained matter to the circuit court, in front uation yet despite sometimes heat- room was split and the lock broken. The Garda Press Office also room. The individuals who cannot in there was no security attendant by the Gardaí was taken to Pearse of a judge and jury, he could face ed negotiations with college the sit- Speaking again to Trinity News stressed that the issue was personal be named for legal reasons were in the GMB. However according to Street Station where, according to up to ten years imprisonment. A uation seems to still be unresolved. Cathal McCann said the major con- and that while an individual had interrupted in their attempts by a Hist Auditor Cathal McCann there the Garda Press Office, he was later decision on this aspect of the case Under the current agreement cern was that someone could have been taken into custody at present senior member of the Hist was “a commitment by college to charged with Trespassing with has yet to be taken. College Authorities are charged been attacked or injured. no charges had been brought Committee who chased them provide full time security in the Intent. It has not yet been made This break-in has once with the maintenance, including In an unrelated incident against him. towards front arch and apprehend- building”. Mr McCann explained clear whether the man, aged 42 again brought the shambolic security, of the building. on Friday 3rd a student was Seventeen votes hand Quinn win - Apathy reigns with turnout falling by nearly a thousand on last year - Hall, Kearns, Keogh, and Murphy take other sabbatical positions

ballot down over nine hundred and managed to amass a total of 1467 his favour initially. Despite a Jonathan Drennan fifty votes from last year the extent votes in comparison to the 413 for Cassidy rally he won out by a mar- of student apathy could be easily Shane O'Brien. gin of 68 votes after the final In one of the tightest election fin- seen on the night with attendance Kearns was understand- count. Murphy attempted to com- ishes in recent memory, David at the event pitifully poor. A numer ably relieved at the result com- miserate with Cassidy however she Quinn was elected President of the of the candidates themselves did menting, "part of me is just happy and her supporters were ushered Students' Union at three minutes to not arrive until late in proceedings. it's all over, it's been a hell of a out of the hotel lobby due to space three am on Thursday 23rd of Education Officer was long time and being honest relief is concerns. February. The winning margin was the first position to be filled on the my primary emotion right now." The most notable aspect a mere seventeen votes, or 0.6% of night, unsurprisingly going to Rob Denise Keogh who had of the results for Deputy President the total turnout. The result was Kearns. Kearns has previously the dubious honour of having Ron was that it was O'Brien's most suc- announced following three counts been a successful member of the and O'Brien as her main rivals took cessful showing in the elections. with the margin at one stage an SU executive and a BESS class the Welfare position with ease. It Simon Hall took victory with. pre- mere five votes. With the overall representative. In the final tally he only took a single count for Keogh vious experience with the to be elected, winning 1556 votes. University Record standing his Keogh was happy to leave the cam- campaign in good stead. Speaking Inside paign trail behind her for now tel- to Trinity News directly after his ing Trinity News "I'm relieved, victory he said "I didn't think I was happy and I suppose I was just ter- going to get it, I was against people Mary Robinson Interview rified in case RON got voted in who had more fun things going on. because I was aware there had been I was perceived as a more serious Gearóid O’Rourke meets Ireland’s former President a campaign of sorts to get him candidate but thankfully that's See TNT pages 7 elected." what people ultimately wanted It took the hotly contest- from the job." ed race for Entertainments Officer The election results bash Trinity Arts Festival to create some excitement on the held in the Earl of Kildare Hotel Review of Trinity’s first Arts Festival night among the small gathering. had its own controversy with cur- See page 9 Barry Murphy stayed ahead of Jane Cassidy with just 100 votes in Continued: Page 3 The Garda Riot Squad looks on as riots rage outside Trinity Photo: Padraic Ryan Hitting the Scene Steve Clarke talks to Canada’s Student ‘traumatised’ after ‘intim- See page 12 Embarrassment as Elementary My Dear idation’ by Fianna Fáil Senator SU recruits for Coke accused the JS BESS student of Trinity Fianna Fail. Fancy your chances at being a Private Detective? See Careers. John Lavelle is seen as another embarrassment having referred to her as ‘continu- Speaking to Trinity Christine Bohan See page 17 for the SU following the discov- ity Mary’ at a meeting of Trinity News about the incident, Mr There were red faces in the ery that it was stocking Coca- A Trinity student was left ‘afraid Fianna Fail eleven days previously. Sammon said, “These allegations Students Union last week when an Cola/Nestle products earlier in the and intimidated’ after a Fianna Fail According to Mr Sammon, Mary have caused me great mental dis- email was sent out to hundreds of year. Post Election Analysis senator publicly accused him of White told him that she had already tress. When you are twenty years students on an SU mailing list The controversial ban- As the dust settles on another campaign we look at what happened defamation. spoken to her barristers and that he old and a wealthy and powerful publicising job opportunities ning of Coke has been in place for See page 4 Senator Mary White would hear from them the follow- senator tells you to expect calls available with Coca-Cola. two years now, following a close- approached Mr Kevin Sammon, ing day. from her legal team it is only natu- This is despite the ly fought referendum in 2004 over the treasurer of Trinity Fianna Fail, Kevin Sammon denied ral to feel afraid and intimidated, ongoing ban on the SU selling any the issue of Coca-Cola’s work in Doyle’s pub on January 30 and that he had used the term ‘continu- even when her allegations are Index products of the Coca-Cola practices in Columbia. It was reaf- threatened him with legal action ity Mary’, a derogatory nickname proven completely false.” Corporation or entering into any firmed by the electorate in 2005 in over a slanderous comment he had used in reference to Senator “This has been a trauma- kind of sponsorship agreements a contentious second referendum. College News p1-3 Careers p17 allegedly made about her. White’s support for republican tising and distressing time for me.” with it. Profits at the SU shops The incident occurred just three causes. He continued, “I do not intend to News Feature p4 SU & Societies p18 The blunder happened in both House 6 and the Hamilton days before the Fianna Fail selec- Senator White told Mr let this just go away. I will accept National p6 Comment & Opinion last Friday March 3rd when the building have declined dramati- tion convention for the Sammon that she had heard about nothing less than a full apology.” email was sent out cally since the first International p7 p19-20 South East Dail constituency, in his alleged comments from another When contacted, Senator to the many sub- referendum, which Senator White was a candi- member of Trinity Fianna Fail, Ms Mary White said, “I have no com- Features p8-9 Letters p21 scribers to the SU although it is date and Mr Sammon had a Marianne Butler, the vice ment to make about these allega- Film p11 Gaeilge p22 jobs list, offering unclear whether the vote. chair. She then telephoned tions for the time being.” students the oppor- slump can be attrib- Music p12-13 Inter’l Students p23 Mary White Ms Butler to check if she Mary White had tunity to work at uted solely to the missed out on the “had the right person.” addressed a meeting of Trinity’s Food & Drink p14 Sports Features p24-25 ‘promotion of the ban or simply to chance to run for a Dail After the brief phone con- Fianna Fail branch two weeks pre- Science p15 Sport p26-28 Coca-Cola brand increased competi- seat after Kevin versation, Senator White viously on January 12, in a bid to portfolio at events tion from shops Travel p16 Sammon and the two left Doyle’s pub. secure the cumman’s support in the throughout the nearby. other Trinity delegates The exchange hotly contested Dublin South East year’. Tom Dillon, voted against her. was witnessed Dail selection convention. Although the Deputy President Look out for Issue 8 in Trinity Term! Senator by a number However, the three mail didn’t directly and Publicity White confronted of other Trinity delegates, including Mr contravene the Officer for the Kevin Sammon at a members Sammon, opted not to support Union mandate to Union was unavail- Fianna Fail table ofSenator White and she finished have no dealings able for comment. quiz in Doyle’s and fourth in a close race, seven votes Fianna Fail Senator Mary White Continued: Page 3 with Coca-Cola, it

Assistant News Editor: Úna Faulkner Tuesday March7th, 2006 3 Trinity News COLLEGENEWS News in Brief Luas on track for Trinity Irish housing scheme Jonathan Drennan According to reports in the nation- al press, Trinity's famous front expanded arch could be tarnished by the introduction of the proposed con- Great news for Irish speakers Beatha Teanga í Labhairt as necting Luas line. The new line was announced by TCDSU the saying goes. Indeed, the which is projected to cost up to President at the last SU collage has proven that it €100m, will go from St Stephen's Council, Monday 27th realises that the best way to Green via Westmoreland Street to February, in the Joly Theatre. support the language is by O'Connell Street. This confirmed In a double whammy, John giving it space to be used. By route will make avoiding some Mannion announced that not allowing an Irish language intersection with the Trinity only would the main Scéim community to grow in the col- extremely difficult Cónaithe spaces be moved to lage, there will be much The lack of a connection the brand spanking new greater opportunity of access between the green and red lines of accomodation at front square, for all students in collage to the Luas remains a huge bone of currently a builders paradise, the language. The current contention with Dubliners who but there will be ten new members of the Scéim have waited a decade for the completion spaces in Trinity Halls for put on many events, such as of the transport system. The serv- Junior Freshmen students. dramas, open mike as ice which commenced in the sum- This will bring the number of Gaeilge, hillwalking trips mer of 2004, has become extreme- spaces on the Scéim from the through Irish and much more. ly popular with students. Trinity current 18 to a total of 28 the perfect compliment to this Hall has benefited immensely spaces. latest expansion of the Scéim from the service, with the vast This improvement shows the would be a seomra caidrimh. majority of residents opting for the level of commitment the col- which could provide a further Luas as opposed to the increasing- lege and the students union space for the language to be ly unreliable Dublin Bus service. A has to the Irish language. used. new connecting line would extend this facility to students attending St James. Connex the company Arts Block set for which operates the Luas admitted that while there had been specula- thorough makeover tion in the national media outlets, no plans for the connection had Trinity News has learned that oped Arts Block while others been finalized at the time of print. College is to undertake a will be permenantly removed SU Publicity Officer large scale five year rennova- from the building. Tom Dillon assumed a worried tion of the Arts block starting These cahnges have been stance about the proposed route, in the coming months.The linked to thescheme of col- stating, “Whilst I am a great sup- addition of an extrat floor con- lege restructuring introduced porter of the Luas, I would have taining the IIIShas voided the last year by the Provost. to admit that I am very concerned buildings fire certificate and Details remain sketchy at the that Trinity's beautiful surround- necessitated thecreation of moment and the college ing will be ruined with wires.” several new fire exits and authorities have been reluc- Artist’s impression of new connecting Luas line Photo: Gearoid O’ Rourke escape points. tant to clarify further. Trinity College has taken News before going to print the opportunity affrded by contacted several different these necessary changes to departments involved includ- impliment a broader ernnova- ingthe Director of Buildings Battle of the bands Where is tion schemewhich will see Office and the Chief several offices and Stewardhowever none were Departments moved from the able to offerclarfication with building. Some of these will some even claiming to have goes democracratic be temporarily located in never heard anything abuot Foster Place and then the rennovations. the love? bands a better chance to perform to final decision will be made as to friendly clothes outlet ‘Hemp returned to the newly redevel- Kevin Nash their potential as they'll be playing who will get to play at the Trinity Marie-Claire O’Kane Store’, aiming to promote a greater For aspiring Bands and Musicians in a real gig venue not a cafeteria Ball. awareness of fair-trade products in in Trinity, final term will present so everything from the sound qual- Applications should be This term saw the introduction of Dublin. Dublin band ‘Igohojo’ and Joy-riding on campus an opportunity to play on the main ity to the atmosphere will be much sent to the Ents Officer Niall Global Rights Awareness or ‘GRA’ TCD’s own DJ Mark took over in Unconfirmed eyewitness in the direction of Front stage at the Trinity Ball. The long- improved. Hughes at [email protected] no later week in TCD. The purpose of this the Buttery that evening, with all accounts last week reported to Square where they were standing Trinity Battle of the Secondly, the winners than 24th March. event was to encourage Trinity stu- proceeds going towards One Trinity News an incident of eventually aprehended by the Bands will return this year over the will be chosen not by a panel of dents to become more active in World’s literary counterpart, joy-riding on the College Gardaí. course of 5 weeks in Trinty Term. judges but rather by students. A issues of social justice throughout Divercity magazine. grounds.Two individuals were The Garda Press The prize of playing the main ‘Clap-o-Meter’ will be used at the the world. ‘GRA’ translates as “Nicaraguan Night” took allegedly seen breaking into a Office declined to comment stage, which was won last year by competition to see which bands are ‘love’ in Irish, and suitably, is an place in the Swift Theatre on staff member’s carand driving stating “We normally deal Porn Trauma, is highly sought after the most popular among the crowd anagram of the more familiar Wednesday, featuring a first hand around College Park then more with murders” while a by many Dublin bands. bringing a touch of democracy to ‘RAG’ week. GRA week, which account of life given by onwards towards Front member of College Security While the prize remains proceedings took place from February 27th to Nicaraguan students via talks and Square. stated that “we haven’t heard the same, this year’s competition The competition starts March 3rd has featured previous- videos, complete with reception The reports went on anythig about that, but if we will be run slightly differently than on Thursday 6th April and the ly throughout colleges in Ireland afterwards. However, the centre- to decribe the joy-riders being had we wouldnt tell a journal- last year. Firstly there will be a heats run for over 4 weeks in the such as NUIG, UCC, UCD, DCU, piece of GRA week was the semi- pursued by College Securityn ist.” new venue hosting the competi- Rock Room. The final will take Castlebar and Maynooth, but was nar given on Thursday night; enti- a patrol vehicleas they headed tion, The Rock Room in Spirit, place on Wednesday 3rd May on introduced for the first time in tled “An International Legal Middle Abbey St. This will give the main stage in Spirit where the TCD this year. Perpective: An insight into the The week was kick-start- work of volunteers in the Middle ed on Monday, February 27th, East”. This featured prominent Some Might Say with a free screening in the Arts speakers such as Aoife Daly of the Quinn scrapes through Block of the work of international- Irish Centre for Human Rights, and ly renowned Iranian filmmaker, Gerard Quinn of NUIG. Compiled by John Lavelle and Úna Faulkner Bahman Ghobadi; ‘Turtles can Fly’. The following night saw "So i've been thinking of putting together an album of songs ... to take Presidency “Who’s the fairest of them all?” that capture the emotions of the last few weeks. I always tend to fashion show. This featured items remember emotions through songs... I know it's kinda corny, but from Oxfam, and environmentally- Continued from p1 gry for speculation. John McGuirk leaving the beleaguered Murtagh to hey, how often do you get elected President." who has been no stranger to contro- demand another recount. Newly elected Students' Union President David Quinn shows that rent SU President John Mannion versy this year maintained a down- A third count ensued he's in touch with his emotions in his Bebo internet blog. removed from the count as a result beat stance throughout the night. after some debate with the electoral SU Constitutional of not having the correct accredita- "I'm not confident at all, I'm pretty commission about the viability of “It’s hardly news that some of the more insignificant magazines tions.Visably aggrieved, he stated, sure I've lost because I've heard the scheme with the time already will fill their poorly read, poorly written coloum [sic] inches with "Luckily Jane Cassidy was there to negative reports." approaching 2.00am. Finally at opinion pieces based on features from more illustrious titles” stick up for me, because they (the McGuirk's 3.00am, David Quinn was Changes Pass SU Deputy President, Mr Tom Dillon’s reaction to an article printed commission) have to realise I'm not pessimism proved well founded as announced as the winner of the in Magill magazine commenting onhis coverage of the recent Noam a supporter of anyone here or a David Quinn lead the field closely Presidential election for 2006. The proposed amendments were Chomskey visit. Christine Bohan candidate." He was eventually followed by Harman Murtagh after The current SU office discussed and debated at SU The recent referendum to amend readmitted along with Trinity the first count. Following the first will have to wait until the summer Council before they were brought parts of the Student Union News who had suffered the same set of transfers Murtagh overtook before they can pass on the baton to to the electorate constitution will see the abolition The Numbers Game fate. Quinn to assume pole position the incoming officers. The newly The other main points of the Equality and Equality of The Presidential election going into the final set of transfers. elected officers reflect a wide spec- of the amendments are: Access officer position and an end is normally the most bitterly con- Here however Quinn came back trum of age and experience and the - Class reps must be given five Compiled by Úna Faulkner and Gearóid O’ Rourke to the rule that future referenda tested, generating the most interest out on top as a recount was imme- student populace eagerly expects days notice before being struck must have a turnout of over 10% from the student populace and this diately called. them to deliver on their manifestos. off so that they have a chance to in order to be deemed valid. year was no exception. At the After the second count whether their achievements will appeal the decision The victory margin These are the main 0.6% or 17 votes stroke of midnight the first count the gap between Quinn and spark wider interest and turnout - The establishment of a Finances points in the constitutional between Harman Murtagh and David Quinn in the SU began in the upstairs area of the Murtagh narrowed to only 5 votes, next year remains to be seen. and Services officer position changes voted in by the student hotel, leaving the crowded bar hun- - Two additional ‘floating’ posi- Presidental race body on the same day as the recent tions to be introducted to the SU SU elections. Executive which can be defined The referendum appears Controversy in Fianna Fáil and given a brief by Council annu- to have come as a surprise to ally 18% The percenatge of Trinity students who voted Continued from p1 gency meeting of the society on position will again be put to the many TCD students judging by - The minutes of all committee February 9. members of the society. the high number of spoiled votes, in the Student Union elections behind winner Chris Andrews. meetings of Council, the Ms Butler is understood The chair of the Trinity with many students commenting Mary White is currently vying for Constitution and all policy docu- to have filed a complaint with the College Fianna Fail cumman, that they hadn’t been informed selection as the party’s second ments must be placed on the SU Central Societies Committee over Shane Conneely told Trinity News enough about the issue to make a general election candidate in the website €74 The cost of a Trinity Ball ticket which is head- the circumstances of her impeach- that “Marianne’s impeachment decision either way. Publicity for constituency and the final decision - A call for a policy referendum ment. She has claimed that the and the circumstances which sur- the referendum was low key, with lined by Ocean Colour Scene and Felix Da Housecat will be taken by Fianna Fail head- (such as the Coke/Nestle ban) now emergency general meeting at round it have been a blight on an a minimal amount of advertising. quarters in the coming weeks. requires 250 signaures or else a which she was impeached did not otherwise successful year and The amendments were Marianne Butler has two-thirds majority from class comply with the Fianna Fail soci- have left me with a sour taste in put forward by the Constitutional €69.50 The cost of a one day ticket to Oxegen since been impeached from her reps at an SU Council, whilst a ety’s constitution. The re-run of my mouth.” Review Group, a committee set up position as vice chair of Trinity constitutional referendum will which is headlined by and Artic Monkeys the controversial EGM has been Ms Butler could not be by the SU in 2004 in order to Fianna Fail over her role in the require 500 signatures or else a scheduled for this Thursday, when reached for comment. update the old and increasingly incident. All members but one three quarters majority of Council voted to remove her at an emer- the motionremoving her from her outdated existing constitution. 4 News Feature Editor: Gearóid O’Rourke Tuesday March 7th, 2006 ELECTIONAFTERMATH Trinity News The mighty mighty Quinn Following a narrow victory in the SU presidential election, President elect David Quinn talks to Gearóid O’ Rourke about the campaign, his hopes for next year and his infamous haircut. So David how are you feeling fol- to purposely shy away from. I did- was that because I have worked lowing your election win? n’t want to go down that route; I with the two previous presidents I I’m feeling excellent. It’s still sink- never planted a question for can build on their momentum, learn ing in post the whole election peri- McGuirk about those issues. I from their mistakes. In terms of od and results. So yeah I’m feeling mean I would have preferred if it next year one of the things that we good. had not come out because at the need to work on would be commu- end it gave him an excuse. I don’t nications, in terms of communicat- How do you feel your campaign think it effected the elections. I ing the union better to the students. went over the last few weeks? think people knew what the story For example many students didn’t Well it went according to plan as was at that stage. It was a long know all about the elections. The far as I’m concerned as regards the email so I think that people who union needs to start communicating way I wanted to run my campaign. were motivated to read it would and marketing itself better. The way I wanted to run it was very have already known a lot about it. word of mouth, not just leafleting Taking things outside of Trinity and flyering but actually talking to The whole sabbatical team is in College for a moment how do you people and informing them and that place now, what do you think of plan to handle relations with USI did go well By and large I think them as a group? in the coming year following this candidates and campaign teams got I’m overjoyed, completely over- year’s tensions? on very well. There always be a bit joyed with the team. A major prob- Yeah well this was something me of friction but not as much as I was lem in years past has been sabbats and a lot of the sabbats were quite expecting, not getting on with each other. I pivotal in bringing to the forefront mean it’s a high pressure job so because most years it just trundles How does the small margin at the people are always not going to get along without being addressed. end affect your feeling of victory on but I think this year they’re all After the big debacle after the and also you presidency next great guys and they know what’s emergency conference we all came year? going on so I think we all know the out saying we have to get out of Well once I realised I’d won so direction we want to take the Union this. However I see the need for a tightly I immediately went down to in. One of my strengths is that I’m national body and I believe in that Harman and said ‘lets have a good at coordinating people and national body, but there will be a recount’. My greatest fear all the things and myself and a lot of the big big fight to fix this because way through was that I’d win and new sabbats have been working organisations tend have trouble lose the presidency in one night. I together for a few years in the SU changing. I will be putting a lot of don’t think it’ll affect my presiden- so I think we can keep together as a energy into trying to fix it personal- cy at all though. Fair play to team. No one wants to be wasting ly. I don’t think there will be a con- David Quinn celebrates as the results are announced Harman he ran a good campaign time working against each other. certed effort to run Trinity candi- but I was the strongest candidate dates in elections however because new but I do feel the way its been ing this decision it’ll be council and see both perspectives - I can see haircut’? for it and now its up to me in my Looking back at this year’s SU I don’t think there’s any specific brought along so far without stu- the class reps. What I’ll be pushing why the JCR wants to remain inde- No that’s not true, I spent twenty- actions to prove that next year where are the areas where you advantage to having a Trinity can- dent consultation is not right. What for is a better information cam- pendent and I can see the SU’s con- five euro on this haircut. I went to a think this year’s exec will have to didate in a position. the SU needs to do is call for it to paign so that everyone knows cerns about the JCR’s financial training school as the student that I What is your opinion of the con- improve on? go back to square one with student exactly what the changes will be. controls. I would like to integrate am, the one on Grafton Street, and troversies regarding your fellow Well I suppose all of us ran because Modularisation looks likely to be involvement. I don’t know exactly the JCR president into exec and gave them free reign to do what candidate John McGuirk during we want to do a better job and there the major challenge of the com- what the benefits and losses of There were plans this year to for- senior JCR members onto Council. they wanted. It is kind of a interest- the election? are a lot of issues we raised in our ing year, what’s your stance on modularisation are and this is malise the relationship between It’s important to retain its autono- ing haircut alright I suppose...I There was always going to be a lot campaigns that are not necessarily it? something I’ll have to find out. the JCR and the SU, what are my but we need to cooperate. wish I had seventy euro to spend on to come out about John McGuirk criticisms of the current officers. I mean I'm not going to say I'm From what I got from people on the your plans in this sensitive area? my hair, it might look a bit better. and it was something that I wanted One of the things I was running on against something just because its campaign trail students are totally I think because I’ve lived in Trinity So David is it true that you spent against it and it won’t be me mak- Halls and have been in the SU I can seventy euros on an ‘election Results In Full President Constitutional Hist email controversy Votes cast: 2720 Referendum Spoiled: 55 Votes cast: 2602 speaking to Trinity News John When asked what he Quota: 1333 Spoiled: 424 Gearóid O’ Rourke McGuirk told us that “the email thought of claims the email had First count slandered me and was a completely damaged McGuirk’s campaign he Yes: 1631 McGoldrick 101 Fallout from the SU elections con- inappropriate interference with an replied that “Basically it wasn’t my No: 547 McGuirk 351 tinued last Wednesday night when SU election” When asked whether fault the story became public, the Murtagh 826 failed Presidential candidate John he felt the email had damaged his Hist had no interest in the story O'Brien 78 Deputy-Pres McGuirk levelled several serious campaign he responded “yes, I becoming public. I did not assert Quinn 841 Votes cast: 2681 questions at Hist Auditor Cathal know I got lots of feedback from anything about John in the email Treacy 348 Spoiled: 180 McCann during Private Members people that told me they weren’t that might be interpreted as taking RON 120 Quota: 1251 Time at the Hist. The questions all going to vote for me because of it. sides in the election I simply gave centred around a round robin email Which was disappointing” our side of the story and clarified McGoldrick, O'Brien and RON First count regarding McGuirk sent by The email was sent two the facts of the story. Its not my eliminated Flaherty 309 McCann to Hist members during days following a Hist Committee fault if anyone formed an opinion Hall 1185 the recent SU elections. meeting however the committee from that.” Second count Mallon 431 According to McCann was not consulted about the email. John McGuirk maintains McGuirk + 23 = 374 O'Brien 349 the email was sent to “clarify the Cathal McCann John McGuirk This caused rumblings amongst the email was “intended t o do as Murtagh + 59 = 885 RON 227 society’s position on an article Hist members coming to last weeks much damage as possible to my Quinn + 38 = 879 which had appeared in Trinity ing this, an email from the Hist asserted that “there would have eventful public meeting however campaign” and “gave him Tracey + 33 = 381 RON eliminated News”. The article, which outlined, auditor responding to the article been claims of impropriety if I had McCann remains adamant that he absolutely no opportunity to Non transferable = 146 Second count among other things, accusations was sent to all society members. sent it at any time during the elec- did not need to consult them stating respond”. He has not ruled out tak- Flaherty + 12 = 321 against McGuirk of sending abu- There have been claims tion. No the timing was not inap- “No because I don’t have to. I did- ing further action against Hist McGuirk and Tracey eliminated Hall + 24 = 1209 sive emails to several Hist mem- that with hustings finished when propriate because it would have n’t have to specifically consult the Auditor Cathal McCann. Third count Mallon + 9 = 440 bers was published in the last issue the email was sent but with polls been controversial at any time committee, there’s many issues I Murtagh + 225 = 1110 O'Brien + 12 = 361 of Trinity News. Nine days follow- still open the timing was inappro- because of the interpretation some don’t consult them on.” priate however Cathal McCann people have put on it” However Quinn + 248 = 1127 Non transferable = 170

Quinn elected without reaching Flaherty eliminated the quota Third count Hall + 117 = 1326 Ents Mallon + 65 = 505 SU candidates bare all O'Brien + 21 = 382 Votes cast: 2738 Non transferable = 118 Spoiled: 49 Una Faulkner Quinn and Mr John Tracey all par- took in the evening’s events, some Quota: 1345 Simon Hall elected on passing making a larger contribution to the the quota The annual Trinity Saint Vincent First count night than others. de Paul Slave Auction took place Cassidy 899 Incoming SU Deputy on Wednesday 22nd February in Mulcahy 454 Welfare President, Mr Simon Hall, was one the Buttery. The event, which is Murphy 959 Votes cast: 2694 of the first of the performers to one of the society's biggest O'Brien 67 Spoiled: 144 willing bare all for the crowd, fundraising events, presents the O'Neill 265 Quota: 1276 a scene which was then opportunity for all Student Union RON 45 election candidates to sell repeated by many others First count themselves as ‘slaves’ in the throughout the night. O'Brien, O'Neill and RON elim- Keogh 1918 name of charity and hope- The last act of inated O'Brien 362 fully to win over a few the evening was a RON 270 undecided voters at the joint performance by Second count same time. the society’s presi- Cassidy + 68 = 967 Denise Keogh elected on pass- Last year, dent, Mr Bart Storan, Mulcahy + 57 = 511 ing the quota saw now outgoing and SU President, Murphy + 70 = 1029 SU President John Mr John Mannion. Non transferable = 182 Education Mannion and oth- Mannion and Storan Votes cast: 2663 ers strip down, a both performed at Mulcahy eliminated last year’s auction Spoiled: 155 spectacle that was Third count and this year raised Quota: 1255 repeated again Cassidy + 177 = 1144 the largest bid of the this year. SU pres- Murphy + 183 = 1212 First count night; the sum of idential candi- Non transferable = 151 Bennison 369 €150. dates including Kearns 1467 The total sum Mr John Murphy elected without reach- O'Brien 413 raised in total is esti- McGuirk, Mr ing the quota RON 259 Harman Murtagh, mated in excess of Mr Shane e1000. Robert Kearns elected on pass- The Tracey camp reveals all Quinn goes for broke O’Brien, Mr David ing the quota

6 Tuesday March 7th, 2005 National News Editor: Anne-Marie Ryan National News Trinity News News in Brief Many USI Officer High Court victory for mature student A mature student at UCD mature students affected by the won a high court case last withdrawal of the back-to-educa- posts left uncontested Wednesday over the failure of tion allowance during the summer the Department of Social and months. Family Affairs to pay him a back- “USI is delighted that to-education allowance outside of justice was done in the High Court college term time. this week, and calls on the Father-of-four Michael Government to financially com- ahead of Congress Power was one of many recipients pensate those who have suffered of social welfare who was encour- material hardships and distress as ward for election. The annual con- Macken of Athlone IT are the sole amendments are to be debated officer board to report to the aged to enter third level education a result of the bungled u-turns Anne-Marie Ryan gress will take place in the West nominees for the positions of again, with fourteen changes up for National Council on the mandates because of reassurances from the which the Government must now Count Hotel, Ennis, Co. Clare from Welfare Officer and Equality discussion. The constitutional they have fulfilled from the previ- department that he would receive a deeply regret” said USI President Nominations for USI 20-23 March. Officer respectively. Education amendments caused unprecedented ous year and ensuring that in the back-to-education allowance Tony O’Donnell. officer positions, due to be voted Colm Hamrogue of Officer is the only contested posi- controversy at a special USI con- case of future resignations the instead of unemployment benefit. UCDSU President on at the USI congress IT Students’ Union is the only pres- tion, with both Bernadette Farrell gress held at Trinity last December, activities of working groups affect- However, a series of wel- James Carroll says that there are later this month, have thus far have idential candidate put forward, of Dublin IT and Patrick Carroll of which led to the resignations of the ed by the resignation are continued fare cuts in 2003, known as the around 6,500 mature students in left the post of Deputy President while Kelly Mackey of the Dún UCD in contention for the job.. Deputy President/Campaigns until a replacement is sought. “savage sixteen”, altered the way the same position as Power. vacant and most other positions Laoghaire Institute of Art, Design Trinity College Students’ Officer Ruth Ní Éidhin and the Two of the motions are in which the scheme was run, end- The judge in the case with only one candidate put for- and Technology and Damien Union has backed the nominations Education Officer Daithí concerned with the Irish language ing back-to-education payments however said his ruling did not of Hamrogue, Farrell and Mackey. MacSíthigh. and mandate council to during college holidays. apply to the same claims made by UCDSU Education lobby the Irish government to keep The Union of Students other students because of their Officer Jane Horgan-Jones had Students’ Union (TCDSU) have Irish as a compulsory subject for Ireland is now appealing to the delay in instigating legal proceed- originally put herself forward for submitted seven motions for Leaving Certificate and to lobby government to deal with the hun- ings. the Deputy President position, but discussion and one constitutional the British government to protect dreds of claims being made by withdrew last week.. amendment. the Irish language in Northern The USI Annual One of the motions com- Ireland in the same way that it is Congress is the main decision- plains that, students’ registration protected in the Republic. UCD set to have their making body of the union and as fee is being squandered on wages Motions submitted by well as electing new officers rather than student services, other colleges mandate the USI to own ball on campus motions are submitted by affiliated because universities are using out- lobby for the introduction of an unions and voted on by members. dated methods of registration that ombudsman for higher education; The Trinity Ball is set to Three stages will be set The four-day conference require a large amount of staff to academic accreditation for be replicated with the first ever up in the area around the Student will see delegates debate as many administer. participation in college activities UCD ball to take place in the Centre on the UCD campus. as 72 different motions in the areas TCDSU motions also and the introduction of a cen- Belfield campus in April. Bell X1, Tickets costing €60 will be con- of education, union organisation, include calling on the USI to pub- tralised grants system. It has also Republic of Loose and siderably cheaper than those for Next year’s USI officers? Kelly Mackey (IADT) is the national affairs, welfare, equality, licly condemn county councils been proposed that USI officers Tiefschwarz have been booked to the Trinity Ball however, which administration and finance, and who have not been should hold office hours at affiliate headline the black-tie event. have risen to €74 this year. only candidate for Welfare Officer, while Bernadette Farrell (DIT) is in contention for Education Officer. international affairs. effective in dealing with student colleges at least once per term. WIT formally applies Proposed constitutional grand applications; requiring the for university status Waterford Institute of versity. The poor performance of Technology (WIT) has made a for- south-east region in terms of dis- Grants will mal application to the Department posable income and unemploy- of Education and Science request- ment figures compared with other ing that the college be given uni- regions and has been attributed to versity status. The application fol- the absence of a university in the lows many years of government area that could contribute to the arrive on time lobbying from both the college creation of a knowledge-based itself, local politicians and other local economy. interest groups in the South East However, a major region to have WIT designated as OECD survey into higher level a university. education in 2004 said that there claims Hanafin The submission from the insti- was a sufficient amount of univer- tute is set to be considered by a sities in the times even stretch to months before year paid out over 200 million in panel of national and international and that no changes should be Rachel Fahy the students receive their grant pay- grants to 56,000 students. The experts in higher education. A spe- made to the status of institutes of ments in a system that is in serious value of these grants has also been cific framework for dealing with technology. There are currently The Union of Students need of reformation. on the increase with the highest applications of this kind was seven universities within the Ireland (USI) were last week left The lack of information level of grant available being worth established under the Universities Republic. fuming over the vague nature of made available to students wishing almost €5,400 compared with Act 1997. In a Sunday Times poll this year, government plans to overhaul the to apply for a grant and the confus- €2,000 in 1997. Waterford is the only WIT was voted Institute of out-dated student grants system. ing nature of the system further The minister also major city in Ireland without a uni- Technology of the year. The Minister for Education and prevents students from receiving announced plans to create a single Science, Mary Hanafin, announced financial assistance. agency to facilitate the grant plans for a system whereby stu- While welcoming these scheme, which will replace the four Controversy continues dents will be guaranteed to receive planned reforms the USI chal- different schemes in operation at their grant cheques as soon as pos- lenged the minister over the lack of present. This was also met with sible. detail made available about the scepticism from the USI. over NCAD move Under the new system new system. Speaking on the mat- It was also suggested that Controversy continues in protesting that changing the students will get a decision on their ter USI president Tony McDonnell the Minster utilise the resources of the National College of Art and college’s city centre location application within three weeks of said “While USI would welcome the Department of Social and Design (NCAD) as students carry would students of the cultural the closing date and can expect to the news that Minister Hanafin is Family affairs in the administration Minister says students will no longer be left waiting on their protest against the pro- influences, amenities and sources receive their grant cheques within due to reform the current grant pay- of the scheme . “The for grant money to arrive. Photo: Catherine Shanahan posed relocation of the college’s of art material that are needed in a month of the start of the college ment system the haziness of the question students are asking is Thomas St. campus to UCD. Local the production of creative activity. term provided they send in a com- information disclosed makes it whether this will be a new agency students get the support they need tem has been the subject of inten- politicians were recently invited The union also feels that pleted application form by 31st very difficult to see how well the or simply a rehash of the current when they need it, so that money sive campaigning by the USI and by the economy and social atmos- May. Students who have been reforms would remedy the gross system. USI urges the minister to problems don’t stop them from other students’ unions around the NCAD Students’ Union to speak phere of the Liberties area would turned down will also be able to inadequacies of the existing sys- recognise the logic of the depart- achieving their full potential at col- country this year. UCD Students’ at a seminar discussing the poten- suffer the loss of NCAD, and fears appeal the decision and have their tem”. ment of Social and Family affairs lege.” Union recently staged a sit-in tial move. that the college would lose its indi- case reviewed. The USI also argued that managing the distribution of grants This new legislation will protest in Dún Laoghaire- Proposals to sell the vidual identity if situated in the The new legislation plans the level of payment remained payments as they have the most be brought before the cabinet with- Rathdown Co. Council protesting Thomas Street building and trans- huge Belfield campus. to combat the current student inadequate, and there was no sub- experience in this type of process” in weeks and passed by the against delays in grant payments fer the college to a Defenders of the move grants situation which,each year stantial change in the numbers of said O’Donnell. Oireachtas by the end of the year. It and calling for a centralised grants purpose-built facility on the UCD however have pointed to the huge pushes many students into financial students entitled to support. Speaking about the new is hoped that the new system will system. campus were first made last commercial gains the college difficulty due to lengthy delays in The college grant system is initiative Minister Hanafin said be up and running in time for the October. The move to UCD is seen could make by selling the campus the processing of their grant appli- the government’s main source of “These reforms are part of the gov- 2007/08 academic year. as an alternative to the redevelop- building which has a prime city cations. These delays can some- financial aid for students and last ernments strategy to ensure that Reform of the grant sys- ment of the present campus, the centre location.This cash injection government funding for which has could be used to in the construc- not been forthcoming. tion of a new building without the NCAD Students’ Union need to resort to government fund- More Irish students than ever have objected to the move, ing. Medical education attend colleges and universities reforms announced Jenny Gallagher lege in 2004?has found that while groups is almost as high as as 86.5% of students finishing measures must be introduced in After months of specula- ing undergraduate students is also there has been substantial it can go, with this group sending their Leaving Certificate go on to order to sustain and build tion, the government has finally set to alter dramatically, with pro- increases in third level participa- students to college, particularly third level. While many tradi- on increases to higher education confirmed that €200m is to be posals being made to devise an Leaving Cert. students tion from lower socio-economic universities, in excess of their tionally disadvantaged areas in from the lower socio-economic invested as part of a major entry system based on both CAO from Sligo whose parents are groups, the children of farmers proportion of the population. Dublin such as Dublin 1 and groups. programme of reform of the way points and suitability for the med- farmers are more likely to and professional group continue Sligo students are more Dublin 24 have shown substan- Commenting on the the Irish medical education system ical profession. enter higher education than any to dominate the numbers enter- likely to go to college than stu- tial increases in the numbers study, the Union of Students is run. Interest groups have other group, a new study has ing college. dents from any other attending higher education, only Ireland President Tony The number of places in called upon the Minster for found. There is evidence of county in Ireland, with 71% of 11.7% of Leaving Cert students O’Donnell said that in spite of medicine courses for Irish and EU Education to ensure that According to a report improved equity of access in edu- secondary students there admit- in the Dublin 10 (Ballyfermot) substantial advances made in students at undergraduate level are graduate entry to medical school is published last week 55% of 15- cation however. The skilled ted into third level education. area enter college after their access to higher education for all set to double, rising from 305 to covered under the free fees initia- 17 year olds entered higher manual group doubled their par- This reflects the high numbers of Leaving Cert. socio-economic groups, inequali- 725. At postgraduate level, a spe- tive, so as to open up the medical education in 2004, an increase of ticipation from 32% in 1998 to students from counties along the The figure of 55% ties still exist. cial graduate entry system is due profession to students from many 11% on the same statistics in between 50% and 60% western seaboard entering third refers only to students entering “Young people’s to begin in 2007. different socio-economic back- 1998. Twenty-six years ago in in 2004. Increases of around 10% level. higher education institutions chances of going to college still The way in which medi- grounds. 1980 only 20% of Leaving Cert. were recorded among the semi Dublin students are in the Republic of Ireland. When hinge significantly on the wealth cine places are allocated to incom- students went on to higher edu- and unskilled groups, between now 13% more likely to go to col- the number of Irish students of their parents – and ultimately, cation. 33% and 40% of which now go lege than they were in 1998. going to college in Northern on whether or not their parents Compiled by Anne-Marie Ryan The report for the on to third level.. In the Dublin 14 area which Ireland and Great Britain are had the opportunity of going to Higher Education Authority Participation among includes Dundrum, Clonskeagh included the figure rises to 60% college 30 years previously” he (HEA) entitled Who went to col- farmers and higher professional and Rathfarnham as many The report says that said. International Review Editor: Doaa Baker Tuesday March 7th, 2006 7 Trinity News INTERNATIONAL REVIEW Sudan, a country still bleeding western region of Sudan has been Tensions inflamed throughout the stained Darfour’s sands ever since. Rob Quinn subject to bloodshed on a mind- 80s and 90s in a war claiming over Following the horrific §numbing scale. 300,000 are esti- 2 million lives. Eventually interna- events of the 90s in the Balkans Why is it important to care about mated to have died with a further tional pressure forced both and Rwanda, “never again” were wars thousands of miles away from million people displaced from their Christian rebel groups under the the words on every prominent us? We don’t know the people homes living in petrified, abhorrent umbrella of the Sudanese People’s stateman’s lips. Lack of interven- involved, events there have conditions. The cause? A govern- Liberation Army (SPLA) and the tion in Darfour has made a mock- absolutely no bearing upon our day ment backed campaign by the government in Khartoum to make ery of the lessons these atrocities to day lives which by the way are Janjeweed, an anarchic militia set peace in 2001. A future referendum were supposed to have taught us. filled enough with things to be on eradicating rebel groups consid- on southern autonomy preceded by Since the crisis began it has only worrying about. It all looks awful ered a threat to the regime. Racially a six-year Khartoum government been passively recognised in the on the news, but then “Desperate motivated attacks upon innocent composed of both Arabs and south- deployment of a woefully under- Housewives” comes on with its civilians have also revealed a far ern rebels were the terms. An equal manned African Union (AU) mind numbing fug, thankfully put- more sinister purpose: permanent split of profits from the country’s peacekeeping force incapable of ting other thoughts on hold. By the displacement of the region’s main vast oil reserves was also included. stemming the tide of violence. time the lights go out at night that ethnic group, black settled farmers. Outrage gripped other parts of the Initial excuses were made that any small clip we saw is just a dim Historic tensions over nation as people saw two autocrat- further international intervention in memory. land between these and cow herd- ic factions with no interest in their the country’s west would compro- What is striking, howev- ing Arab nomads have been affairs divide between them future mise peace in the south. These lost er, about the skeletal child, the cry- allowed to manifest into full-blown petrodollars. weight over a year ago as this ing woman, the muted, baleful tribal warfare. The international Two years after peace region grows increasingly stable. teenage girl staring into the camera community’s squabblings over was made with the south, this feel- Cynical politicking on the Security lens is that their image wasn’t shot whether events in Darfour consti- ing of marginalisation prompted Council’s part has played its role on a Hollywood set before break- tute genocide pale in significance the formation of the Sudanese (Russia and China are nervous of ing for lunch. It was captured in a with the need to recognise and act Liberation Army in Darfour, swift- being flagged for human rights real and horrific situation where upon what is at present according ly followed by the Justice and abuses in their own countries if only those with the power and to the UN “the world’s greatest Equality Movement. Both repre- they admit overly to atrocities else- resources to intervene can now humanitarian crisis.” sented the settled black farmers of where). Meanwhile, weak sanc- help them. At present in Darfour, Sudan is no the region and launched a cam- tions by the UN have done nothing that is the UN and its wealthy or stranger to civil war. Indeed the paign against Khartoum’s authori- to stem the flow of arms and sup- powerful members (which include roots of today’s conflict are forty ty. The government, paranoid this plies from Khartoum to the The West continues to ignore the escalating crisis in Darfour Ireland). We owe it to the people of years old and utterly complex, would lead to further uprisings in Janjeweed. manent five. Additionally, in a that if any kind of real UN force is last. In the time until intervention Darfour to care, for the luck which originating in the southern quarter the north and east responded ruth- Glimmers of hope are symbolic gesture, the AU decided to intervene, it will take close to a arrives they will no doubt be sub- put us in a safe and prosperous of this mammoth country the size lessly. The Janjeweed was recruit- appearing though. The Secretary not to bestow its rotating chairman- year to assemble and deploy. jected to further acts of abuse and environment, for the principles our of Western Europe. Unease existed ed, bolstered with the dregs of the General’s chef de mission in ship to Sudan (though it was its Darfour’s people will wait out that cruelty, murder and terror. Sadly, society should aspire to, and above since independence in 1956 when capital’s overflowing prisons and Sudan, Jan Pronk has urged inter- turn) indicating that even tradition- year in refugee camps short of food the deficit between words and all for the cause of shared humani- the predominantly Christian/Pagan given carte blanche to terrorise, vention in recent months and ally corrupt leaders are no longer and rife with disease, the perma- action is being paid in innocent life. ty.. south demanded and was refused murder and drive the settled farm- received positive, if slightly tolerating the situation. nent threat of a Janjeweed raid Since 2003 Darfour, a autonomy by the Arab north. ers from their homes. Blood has begrudging responses from the per- Early statements suggest hanging over them. Many will not First Impressions of Iran’s nuclear the Gaza Strip capabilites Toufic Machnouk government has been looking into op a peaceful nuclear program. real problem for the economy, there restarting what was already there. It is Ironic that Luke Carey reports for Trinity News from Palestine is no airport (since the Israelis The United States has once again Iran has had UN inspectors in its America, with the largest arsenal bombed it last year), there is no country for several years now and of nuclear weapons and to date the From my apartment I have a great ly starting to get my head around my. People are tired of living in a twisted the truth to push forward its dock, no buses or trains , there isn't no complaint has ever been made only country to use them, wants to view of the sea. I watch the proces- the various political groupings, it lawless state, and they are tired of ‘war against terror’, so what else is even a postal service. On top of that with regards to the nature and police the world on who can and sion of tiny fishing boats returning seems like an election poster holds being poor. And poor they are. new? It is surprising to see the the Palestinian Authority do not intention of the program. Even can not have nuclear weapons, and to the harbour after a day's work no kudos unless there is a bloke in Some 80% of the popula- number of westerners who are control their own air or water now there is no evidence to support who poses a threat to world peace. under the watchful eyes of the the background carrying a machine tion of Gaza are registered official- actually buying the European space, or even their own gas, water, the claims made by the US, which I still can not understand how the Israeli gun-ships. The sun is getting gun. Not unlike South-central ly with the UN as refugees, and the backed American story, although or electricity supplies. It all begs is why the west is using the media US justified the use of two atomic ready to set, downstairs some kids colours are important here, green unemployment rate is somewhere there are several factors, not all the questions; what exactly does bombs in Japan, wiping 250,000 play football, a neighbour moves for Hamas, yellow for Fatah, black between 25% and 45% depending American, which have lead to this the Palestinian Authority have people off the face of the earth. his belongings into a truck, the for Islamic Jihad etc. Although on who you ask. The economy is situation. A recent survey conduct- “Iran has had UN authority over? And what exactly is Keeping that army patrol the roundabout and where I am (Gaza City) is relative- virtually non-existent as the market ed in the US has shown that most inspectors in its Gaza; a state? a devolving region? in mind, and also considering the some guy anxiously walks up and ly safe, law and order is a serious here is too small to satisfy a manu- American’s feel that Iran is a threat or a very large prison camp with a country for several fact that the US does not have the down the street like he is looking issue for Gaza. The political insta- facturing industry and the severity to world peace, even though Iran beach? man power to invade or start a war for someone. He is carrying a shot- has never attacked another country. years now and no There has been alot to with Iran, the future doesn’t look gun. “Gaza has a population of around 1.3 million, a Even now, over four complaint has ever take in so far in my stay here. It good at all. Iran’s Islamic system I've been here in Gaza president, a legislative council, an army, a years later, and the truth behind really is a beautiful culture, and been made” gives it access to great man power city for two weeks now and I'm just 9/11 has still not been made clear police force, two main militia armies and loads they really know how to look after very precisely to put its people if it was faced with an invasion. So starting to find my feet. For those in the public arena despite different their guests. They do however under the impression that Iran is, what will happen next? Could of you who don't know Gaza or the of people with guns.” efforts to bring the truth out to the object to you taking pictures of for a fact, developing nuclear America try and invade Iran the Gaza strip is in the very South- people. Yet under this pretext the their president from an overlooking weapons. way it did to Afghanistan and Iraq? West of Israel, bordering Egypt and bility and the military vacuum left of the Israeli border controls mean Bush Junior administration has apartment block. However it was a The reason why people When you study the America’s the Mediterranean. It has a popula- by the withdrawal of the Israeli an export driven economy is an changed world laws, invaded other good way to make friends with the are buying this story, even after the attempt to scare the world from tion of around 1.3 million, a presi- army has led to a upsurge in impossibility. The majority of those countries, and pulled a tight rope special forces. I found out the next Iraq war lies have been revealed, is Iran, you get the impression that dent, a legislative council, an army, Palestinian-on-Palestinian crime. with jobs here work for the around Europe’s neck, leaving no day that the laser from the auto- partially due to the way the Iranian the US is trying to find an excuse a police force, two main militia There has been a spate of Palestinian Authority who have one strong enough to stand against focus on my camera really upset government has dealt with the for a pre-emptive nuclear attack on armies and loads of people with ‘Limerick Style’ family feuds, tit- been unable to meet the wages of their plans. them. issue. You can not expect to receive the Islamic republic. Surprised? guns. for-tat killings, and the odd lynch- their employees for over a month So what does Iran want? They radioed for permis- an empathetic reaction from west- Don’t be, all you have to do is look The legislative council ing. The people here were so unset- (Although as of yesterday - Iran had been researching and sion to shoot.They didn't get it. erners if you come out on the front- into the Japanese bombing and election ended just before I arrived tled that in the election the two Monday 27th - the EU, the PA's developing the use of nuclear ener- All's well that ends well I guess. line and one day say that Israel 9/11 to realise how justifiable the and the place is still covered in biggest issues for the electorate biggest donor, has promised aid). gy during the time of the Shaa. needs to be wiped off the map, and unjustifiable is when posters, posters and flags. I'm slow- were law and order, and the econo- The infrastructure in Gaza is also a This program was put on hold dur- ing the Islamic revolution and the the next day that you wish to devel- Attack on Shia Shrine in Iraq Where and how this group Imams of Islam.The Golden shrine Raya Kaladeh emerged is debateable, but what is that was bombed contains the certain is that it is clear for any per- tombs of 10th and 11th of the The world has been dubbed a glob- son who reads the Qur’an and the imams.These are the Imams Ali al village. Yet unfortunately, the teachings of prophet Mohammad, bin Muhammad al Hadi and the people of this village are growing that such people do not follow Imam Hassan bin Ali al-Askari. further and further apart, stressing Islamic teachings. The present Although Sunni Muslims do not their differences and disagree- chaos in Iraq has bred fertile recognise these Imams as their ments instead of considering their grounds for such fundamentalists. spiritual leaders no Muslim can much more common ground -that As a Muslim, who came ever justify the attacks on the Shia they all belong to one family, that to Ireland to do my postgraduate Shrine in Samarra. It is of Adam and Eve. study, I was brought up as a not wise for Muslims to insist on What is happening on a Muslim not as a “Sunni” or “Shia”. their differences and forget their daily basis in Iraq, and the recent When asked by an Irish person common grounds. We should be bombing of one of the most sacred asked me about the difference mending fences instead of break- Shia shrines in Samarra, indicates between the two, I was confused as ing them in order to understand the mine fields that Muslims tread it had never before been an issue and face together the problems of on, each one that goes off paves the for me. The primary difference lies the world as a united force. way for yet another. In the last two in the question of successorship Fundamentalists claim decades, a new group has emerged after the prophet Muhammad. The that all, including mainstream from among the Muslim communi- Shia regard Ali bin Abi Taleb as Muslims, are ‘infidels’. The word ty and claimed to represent the second in line to the prophet. Infidel in Islam is not a term that ‘true’ Islam. This group is referred However Sunni and Shia alike hold should be used loosely and refers s. to today as ‘fundamentalists’, ‘rad- Ali is one of the most highly It seems these people have created icals’, ‘extremists’, or ‘terrorists’. respected and admired personali- their own 21st Century religion or Although comprising a ties in Islam.Sunnis consider Ali to have not heard of the Qur’anic minority in the Muslim world, this be the fourth Caliphate in Islam. verse: “Whoever kills one person group has proved to have a major The Shia consider the and takes one single life it is as if influence in fouling the image of descendants of the prophet through he has killed all of humanity”. Muslims throughout the globe. Ali bin Abi Taleb to be the rightful 8 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 FEATURES Trinity News The Talented Mr Cooper Trinity News’s Cillian O Conchuir talks to Risteard Cooper about Trinity, Apres Match, and why he’s disappointed with I Keano “They can ridicule you for next to New York he returned to Ireland to array of players all looked com- him.” nothing,” was how Jim Beglin find an audience in waiting and it pletely mental and most of the Joe Duffy was next in described being on the receiving wasn’t long before his talents were players couldn’t remember the line for an ‘Après’ slot. “I started end of an Après Match sketch, “but on display in ‘Glenroe.’ “I thought anthem.” doing him because I was listening if you are doing that sort of job, I it was a funny part without intend- “We had a bit at the end to the programme in the car and it think you’re up there to be shot at. ing to be. Looking back on it, it was where says to was talking about somebody who Sometimes they can be a little done extremely seriously and Packie Bonner: When’s it ovah was disappointed with cruel, but 99% of the stuff they do therefore much funnier then any- Packie? When’s it ovah? And Teeaaaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaags. It I would have a good laugh at.” thing I could come up with.” Packie replies: Just claaaaaap after literally was that. I thought t was “I think they’re bril- “The big thing was me me! Just claaaaaap after me! hilarious. The three of us started liant,” exclaimed John Giles, “I on the trail of Dick Moran’s glass- They’re all singing their own tune talking like Joe for the entire time think it’s a compliment in many es. As you can imagine by the really. I think John Sheridan, who during Euro 2000. When we were ways how the panel became so well sound of it, it was vital to all con- always looked like he wasn’t a off we were just like, ‘How’s it known.” Risteard picking up on cerned. I found the glasses in the footballer at all, was thinking of going and good afternooooon to this said: “John’s the master rubble and we all know what that something else. There was always yooouuuuuuuuu.’ We decided to do analyser and clearly of comedy as meant. Need I say more? When I the thinking that anything that a few sketches and we got an well.” look back on it I really do cringe. came into our heads we were incredible response. His fellow comedian Even when I was doing it at the allowed go with.” ‘I, Keano’ went on Mario Rosenstock said: “He is one time I knew I would be cringing. If France ’98 was next on release in England at the end of of the few extremely good impres- you’re cringing when you are the agenda and the Après Match February but Cooper, who starred sionists. I always followed Après doing it, there is a good chance that version of the Bill, John and in the original, with Mario Match when I was younger because Rosenstock, was not taken up by he is really convincing when he “To be honest, I Keano wasn’t a nice experi- the apparent success of it. “To be goes into any character.” ence. I felt strangely cheated in a way. It was honest, it wasn’t a nice experience. “The first time I did them I felt strangely cheated in a way. I (Bill, John and Eamon) at all was such a wasted opportunity. Sure it’s been suc- said in the media at the time that it when the World Cup was on. I cessful, but it has only reached one twentieth was such a wasted opportunity. think it was ’82,” says Cooper. “I of its potential. It just got a little pantominey” Sure it’s been successful, but it has went upstairs, brought my tape only reached one twentieth of its recorder and did a whole routine of potential. I wouldn’t say it’s cheap, Bill, John Giles, Eamon Dunphy you will be cringing for the rest of Eamon panel. A month of Risteard but it’s not that far away from it. It and who was one of your life looking back at it.” Cooper and co climaxed with them just got a little pantominey. That’s the major panellists. It is definitely It was as Bill O’ Herlihy, presenting the 3rd/4th place play- when I thought I put too much the source of an awful lot of what Jim Beglin and Trevor Brooking off on RTE, and saw the introduc- work into it to be like this, so I I’m doing.” that he came to prominence on tion of some new characters includ- thought grand I’m out of here.” A self proclaimed dosser Après Match, which was born out ing Jim Beglin. For true football fans, ‘I, at St Michael’s, he then turned his of a friendship between himself “The weather and travel Keano’ represented a disappoint- mind towards the stage. “I realised and Barry Murphy. “Barry had just guide was the perfect platform for ment. With Mario Rosentock of more and more that I was less inter- got a job presenting ‘The End.’ He Jim because the language of travel Gift Grub and fellow Après Match ested in academia. The opportunity asked me to go on with him. The guides is like, ‘If you want to avoid star, Gary Cooke also in the musi- came up in Trinity, for one of the first sketch we did still probably taking the train then don’t take it,’ cal, it seemed a waste of talent. first drama courses in Ireland. This ranks as my favourite. It was just so says Risteard. ‘I mean the best way “What came out was a bit disap- was full on and lots of different completely raw. It was terrible in to get to Paris is to fly by plane,’ pointing. People loved it. It was approaches to acting. It was bril- one way, but just makes me laugh. and ‘Lens is the most northern city incredible. I would say the majori- Risteard with his fellow Apres Matchers Gary Cooke and Barry Murphy liant, but also restricting. It was The two of us did a five to ten in France apart from Paris here.’ ty were non sports fans which was formalised and very much trying to minute sketch on Liam Tuohy and RTE knowing they had something really a killer for me, like I’m not shirts, “WANTED FOR THE Colm Murray, and asked Clive arse.” keep reigns on you.” various other people, exclusive, chose to give Euro 2000 being true to myself. People who ASSASINATION OF BRIAN O’ Woodward: Do you feel your So, what is next for Difficulty gaining an and Barry had the and World Cup 2002 the Après didn’t have the first clue really DRISCOLL. Knighthood is in jeopardy; and the Risteard? “I’m only contracted for equity card was a minor setback card board box on his head which Match treatment. about sport or Keane really loved it The reaction from those looks I got from the people around the Six Nations, but hopefully it soon overcome. “It was ridiculous. nobody in RTE could work out He then appeared in the and went to see it ten times. That is was hysterical and frightening in me were quite extraordinary.” can continue. I’m writing a TV pro- You couldn’t get work unless you what the hell it was suppose to rep- feature film ‘The Closer You Get’ the one aspect of it that I don’t another way. The best thing was the What did the Lions tour gramme with Gerry Senbridge had an equity card and visa versa. I resent” directed by Aileen Ritchie. “I think understand.” guy printing the T-shirts in New mean to him? “It became more then which looks like it’s going to hap- pretended I didn’t know in the end Euro ’96 saw the emer- his approach is very thoughtful and Then ‘Chasing the Lions’ Zealand. He was like, ‘Oh my God, about various characters, like the pen. RTE look like they are inter- that they were the rules. I applied gence of Après Match and Risteard measured said Aileen. He takes with Hector Ó hEochagáin brought what the hell am I doing here, T- fans and general reaction of them ested in it. We’re probably going to two or three times for equity. They Cooper and it will be forever direction well and has the ability to more characters to the small screen. shirts of Tana Umaga. What am I to Woodward’s failure. I was tied be doing the soccer World Cup this said I didn’t have enough work, so remembered for the thought cam- draw out the most from a line or a “I said it to Brian that I’m really doing here mate.” between really disappointed as a year, but we will have to see in then I just took work pretending I era sketch as the Irish team lined up moment. I think he's talented, has a sorry for your shoulder, but it’s If need- general fan of the Irish players and what format.” It also seems that he had one.” to sing the National Anthem. “The great gift for comedy and that he great for our documentary. Then I ed to be brought down a peg or their input into it, and in a way has a fondness for Bill O’ Herlahy’s After a three year stint in footage was from USA ’94 and the will have a great career ahead of came up with the Tana Umaga T- two, Risteard certainly did that. “I them wanting Woodward to fail twirling chair, so watch out Bill. went into the press conference as because he really is an arrogant Trinity’s role in the Easter Rising As the 90th anniversary of the Easter Rising approaches, Timothy Smyth looks at the role played by Trinity in the week’s events and the efforts made to defend College from the rebels By 11 o’clock on Easter Morning ing important points of observa- Thursday they had over four particularly fashionable to 1916, as many of the most impor- tion. Numbers had been bulked thousand troops stationed in the remember that Trinity played a tant building in the city of Dublin up by Australian soldiers who college with horses grazing on pivotal role in the undermining of were occupied by insurgents, had been on leave in Dublin and the lawns, tents littering the the Rising. In recognition of the great unease was breaking out in students who had received the square and 18 pounder guns New Ireland on the 75th Trinity as they realised that call to defend the college. At this located in college park, mean- Anniversary of the Rising, strategically it would be a natural time the college defence was while number fifteen Botany bay College Park was again host to progression to occupy Trinity. been organised by Captain Alton, was being used as a field hospi- guns, this time from the Irish With its four walls facing out later Provost of the college, and tal. It is incredibly difficult to Army to fire a salute. onto some of the most important Lieutenant Luce. imagine now. From all accounts Though I do think that streets in Dublin, its location Soldiers on the roof of the Provost supervised all these it is unfair to blame it all com- practically in machine gun breath Regent House played a crucial events with great calmness and pletely on discomfort, in the of the G.P.O. on O’Connell role in preventing the insurgents resourcefulness. words of later Lieutenant Street, and inside a considerable from occupying the Bank of At this stage the fight- Kingsmill – Moore later Chief dump of arms used by the Officer Ireland, which would have been a ing was largely over, though Justice, writing at the time “To be Training Corp of Trinity College called upon to defend our for the British Army, it would “To be called upon to defend our University University against attack of prove a great tactical error that against attack of Irishmen, to be forced in self- Irishmen, to be forced in self – they did not. defence to shoot down our countrymen - defence to shoot down our coun- In Trinity all the gates these are things which even the knowledge of trymen - these are things which had been promptly closed by the even the knowledge of duty well porters at the first sign of trouble, duty well fulfilled cannot render anything but fulfilled cannot render anything Easter Monday falling in the sad and distasteful.” but sad and distasteful.” middle of the holidays as well as On one final point, as large numbers of the college vital sniper position for them. there would be no formal surren- elements in college campaign for community fighting in Europe. By Tuesday the College der until Saturday. Had there the Irish flag to be flown on The insurgents would have found was playing an active role in been a credible threat to Trinity? Easter Monday this year to com- Trinity an easy target. With defending the city, up to this There is no doubt of the strategic memorate the 90th anniversary of roughly only fifteen people in point they had been reticent in importance of Trinity, which the Rising, I wonder shall anyone position around the whole 40 regard to aggressive shooting, an must have been realised, and if be campaigning to remember acre campus, the defenders in Anzac Solider shot a despatch the insurgents had managed to Private Arthur Charles of the Trinity expected to face attack at rider on College Green, and with take over just one building it is Officers Training Corps, killed in any minute. This fear was rein- machine guns the college was not difficult to imagine the chaos action on the 29th April in Dublin forced by the former soldiers in keeping Westmoreland Street and and likely destruction in remov- during the Rising, all that there is the College, who recognised that much of Grafton Street free from ing them from that building. to remember him now is a rapid- as O’Connell St. and St. fighting. What were the affects ly deteriorating stone plaque on Stephen’s green were two centres By Wednesday, large for Trinity in the aftermath? In the Nassau Street wall near the of the Rebellion, consequently numbers of British soldiers 1917 Trinity played host to the Ussher library, practically Trinity was splitting them off reached Dublin, meaning that Irish Convention, but by and obscured behind a tree. from each other. Trinity was now safe. But it was large the actual details of the By nightfall on Monday not the end of Trinity’s role. The week for Trinity have been for- night, the total number of defend- army promptly set up headquar- gotten in the haze of history. Plaque on the Nassau Street wall commemorating Private Arthur Charles ers stood at forty four, all occupy- ters in the college and by Today in the New Ireland it is not Tuesday March 7th, 2006 9 Trinity News FEATURES Trinity Arts Festival 2006 Last month saw Trinity’s first ever student Arts Festival take place. In this special report Trinity News takes a look of some of what went on. ‘Make Up for Film’ Workshop Jeananne Craig skin and applied a foam prosthesis different types of bruising and to the upper half of the face to cre- burns; It’s really just trial and error. ate the effect of a sunken skull. She The trick is not to be afraid to play The zombie film is enjoying some- then painted on layers of liquid with colours”. thing of a resurrection. Over the latex, dried it with a hairdryer and The final result was, for last couple of decades, zombie pricked at it with a pin to create a want of a better word, deadly. movies tended to bypass the box peeling effect. Lorraine had transformed a healthy office and head straight for the young woman into a fully fledged video shop bargain bin. In recent “Lorraine had trans- zombie with a striking resemblance years, however, the undead have formed a healthy to Pete Doherty, or Bob Geldof on been dusted off for gore fests like young woman into a a bad day. 28 Days Later and the Dawn of the With the model zombi- Dead remake, and tongue-in-cheek fully fledged zombie fied, students were then invited to offerings like Shaun of the Dead with a striking resem- come over all Blue Peter, creating and Irish film Boy Eats Girl. blance to Pete cold sores with cornflakes and Now DU Filmmakers is deep cuts from coffee granules. getting in on the act, as their very Doherty, or Bob One student who looked like he own zombie flick goes into produc- Geldof on a bad day.” had put his head in a blender was tion later in the term. With this in delighted with his fake black eyes mind, Filmmakers joined forces Clearly the procedure and wounds: “I’m meeting friends with the Trinity Arts Festival to requires a lot of patience but later, so I might leave it on and give hold ‘Wanna Be a Zombie’, a film Lorraine explained, “it’s really them a surprise. Or I could stretch and TV make-up workshop demon- important to spend plenty of time myself out in front of a car and strating how to transform living on all the cast. The director might really shock them”. students into the walking dead. decide to close-up on an extra, and Ruth Farrar of DU In the crammed arts stu- if you’ve done a rush job it’ll Filmmakers was encouraged by the dio, professional make-up artist show”. turnout for the event: “We’ll defi- Lorraine McCrann demonstrated After painstakingly nitely hold workshops like this how to create the zombie look applying the prosthetics and latex, again. It’s good to do something using latex, make-up and kitchen Lorraine announced it was “time practical. With a student produc- cupboard essentials. Lorraine, who for the fun to begin”. She began tion it can be hard to get that pro- has worked on big budget produc- shading the eye sockets and cheeks fessional edge, so hopefully with The Festival’s Organising Committee. Back row, from left: Kevin Thompson (design committee), Pearl tions like Breakfast on Pluto and for an exhausted, sunken in look. the zombie movie coming up this’ll O'Sullivan (Festival Co-cordinator) Front, from left: Laura O'Connell (core committee), Roisin Gaffney (Launch King Arthur, prepared her model’s Lorraine also showed how to create give the crew some useful tips”. co-ordinator), Bebhinn Cronin (Core commitee) Photo: Brian Wyse Digital Technology in the Arts with Doug Ross air. So not about ‘Aperture’ then, people. Fair enough, but how could his exploration, yet it was hard to Brian Wyse damn. Doug carried on to compare he translate this into his work? share in such a vision beyond the his digital media ventures to being The lights were lowered crude graphics imposed on still Having never been to the Printing rather ‘like film making’ as and projected images were dis- photographs. House before, Thursday’s Arts opposed to still photography - so played for roughly 10 minutes. The lights were turned up Festival talk offered the opportuni- nothing about Photoshop then Essentially we were looking at top- and some people asked questions ty to take a much needed library either. less woman. Some of them bare while others left. At this point break in new surroundings. TAF Doug made a confession, he said had outlined that ‘contemporary “Here was an artist with a groomed collection that his digital artwork was his Irish artist Doug Ross’ with a ‘fine of muses and an obvious grasp of classical hobby and his true focus was sculp- Arts background’, was going to ture. There was a gasp, sounding a explore his own personal use of Greek, even Catholic mythology evident in his kind of premature closure to the digital technology in an artistic dogma but hard to see in his images.” presentation; Here was an artist context - which was fairly wide with a groomed collection of muses open. For me, there was an expec- In fact, Doug didn’t think nude, some colourfully covered in and an obvious grasp of classical tation some additional uses for too much of advances in digital paint. Each image was a standard Greek, even Catholic mythology Photoshop might be revealed, or an technology, explaining that he once still photograph, with some type of evident in his dogma but hard to artist’s response to Aperture, just had 10,000 people visit his exhibi- basic graphics superimposed, see in his images. On leaving the anything to do with the technology tions throughout Europe to see his apparently to support the overall print house, and even on writing part of the poster description. images, which were captured using interior theme of its subject – this, there remains the thought However, arriving just in only a 2.1 megapixal camera. Doug’s nude woman friends. It was ‘what of his sculptures?’ Maybe time for Mr. Ross’ opening to his Regardless Doug was able to talk their ‘personal myths’, Doug had next year Doug Ross can come work, the phrase “this is what its well and verbally expressed a said prior to the display, that were back and display a couple of those “Zombifying” at theMake Up for Film Workshop. Photo: Jeananne Craig like to be a human being” hit the unique grasp of mythology and in each case the primary object of for us. Valentine String Quartet Everything you ever wanted to Emma Brown students with the horribly conven- performance, with the platform of tional Starbucks coffee (even this the Dining Hall steps becoming a amount of publicity is resented) natural stage for the four musicians know about the Trinity Arts Festival By 1:15 on Tuesday 14th a crowd and quite a few rather bemused to take over. A couple of students had gathered rather unusually at looking tourists, with some looking voiced their opinion that it was a Brian Wyse talks to co-ordinator Laura O’Connell about the Arts Festival the bottom of the Dining Hall overly excited and others not quite favorable alternative to the usual steps. This was prompted by a per- sure how they had got there. never ending drone which accom- and plans for next year formance of the Valentine String The quartet was made up panies lunchtime in the Tarts Who is TAF? how? T.R.A.S.H label set the pulse, while Quartet as part of TAF. Their reper- of four accomplished musicians Block.(Their words not mine). In How did you manage to get the projections of our logo mixed with toire consisted mainly of popular from TCD's Orchestral Society. It principle most would agree. After We are a team of over 20 students project off the ground? In summary: DU Filmmakers, contributions from various photog- classics, with a couple of suitably was a great move on their part to all, given the choice, wouldn't you from the various arts based soci- Trinity Arts Workshop, Visual Arts raphers let hundreds of people sim- romantic pieces for the day that get involved with TAF as every listen to Bach or Beethoven rather eties in college from various differ- First we approached the CSC who Society, Photography Society, ply know of TAF’s existence, that was in it, with the only hitch being person in attendance was a mule than once again defend your hatred ent courses – mostly History of Art gave us the go ahead, agreeing to Trad. Soc, Digital Art Soc., Food & feedback alone we found impres- the inevitable gale-force wind con- for free publicity. And that publici- of Ugg boots for the tenth time that oddly enough. Pearl O’Sullivan support us with funding. It must be Drink Soc., Music Soc, Orchestral sive. spiring against the sheet music as ty would ore than likely be posi- day? was the main Co-ordinator, and the mentioned, that we are indebted to no less. There were some diffi- they played. However this merely tive. Perhaps this analogy is a Core Committee consisted of: the overall support, advice and They all pooled culties though. Printing on such a added to the tongue-in-cheek What was surprising was tad extreme. But the point remains Bebhinn Cronin, Daniel Kennedy, guidance from Lucy, Joe and resources to come up with events in large scale in such a short time- atmosphere of the event, and the that the hour did not feel forced, that an hour of classical music in Peter Morrow, Laura O’Connell, Emma in particular. which they would work on in frame meant it was hard to make hour was well recieved by all. there was no overhanging feeling the open air was an extremely Eilise McGuane After approaching the teams. For example the the deadlines. However, the help The audience in atten- of cynicism or triviality and the pleasurable and different way in CSC, we found further funding Filmmakers and Photography soci- we got from the Design Time peo- dance was a motley assortment of location actually complimented the which to spend my lunchbreak. from the Trust and Association, eties put on ‘ Zombie make-up’ ple such as Brian Solon, Fiona What, and why did you set up body, without their additional fund- class, and then followed it with a Hallinan, Peter Morrow, Alex TAF? ing the festival programmes and photography shoot. Another exam- Synge and Kevin Thompson printing costs would have been too ple was the Fusion event in 4 Dame allowed us to pull it off an a day to Trinity Arts Festival, the first of its much. Lane, where the Digital Arts and day basis. kind, was mainly set up as a cele- With our finances secure, Traditional Irish Music Society got bration of the creative arts within we then contacted the relevant arts together, which most people really Because of TAF, Trinity had its the student community. Organized based societies at the beginning of responded too. first Arts Festival. Do you think by students for students with an the academic year with the idea. it should be an annual event? aim to address the need for greater (Pearl really ignited the process) creative outlets, and to provide a Various members came forward, How did the week work out? For the societies, I felt their amal- greater opportunity for artistic and meetings were held with the gamation gave them a wider plat- expression throughout the campus. intension of brainstorming how The ‘Launch Party’ generated an form to work on, especially in We wanted to provide every stu- best the societies should collabo- overwhelming response from stu- terms of pooling resources and get- dent regardless of academic back- rate with each other; coming up dents, staff, and media alike. There ting motivated to contribute to a ground the chance to participate in with ways to work together and was a journalist from the Irish larger than usual project. the weeks’ events and in doing so, make the most of the resources we Times covering the story, and Furthermore different society provide them with the opportunity had. By early December provision- prominent figures from the art members got to know each other, to explore inner creativity. All al event timetables, mission state- world attended. Willie White for and there was a kind of spirit to the events were non-profit motivated, ment, proposal, etc were more or instance, from the ‘Project Theatre’ whole thing. We hope societies will and thus free - except of course for less set down. The ball was rolling. opened the festival for us. be encouraged to work together in the evening events held out of col- Another highlight was projects again, and definitely in the lege, which have serious costs. Thursday night’s event in Spy and form of the 2nd TAF, and for every Which societies got involved, and Wax. Rory Philips from London’s year herein out. The Valentine Quartet take to the Dining Hall steps Photo: Emma Brown Trinity Arts Festival coverage compiled by Brian Wyse 10 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 Film Editors:Rebecca Jackson & Alexander Christie-Miller FILM Trinity News No sympathy for Lady Vengeance Your Ca-po-te? James Von Simson takes a look at Alex Christie-Miller the final installment of Park Can- The American journalist and writer Wook’s revenge trilogy. Truman Capote was catapulted to fame and fortune when in 1965 he There is a rough group of them; the kidnapped. published his masterpiece, In Cold Kaufman boys, the brothers Coen, Jailed for 13 years she Blood, a book which fused fact and Jeunet & Caro over in France, seemingly assumes the role of the fiction to create a new literary Spike Jonze, that Cunningham model inmate, always ready to help genre: the non-fiction novel. bloke, and I’m sure that Quentin others; becoming the devoted Bennett Miller’s film follows the chap is in there somewhere. Christian who leads the prayer unusual story behind the writing of Auteurs, cultists, & writer extraor- group, earning the moniker ‘kindly the book, adapting itself from dinaires. Individuals who do not Ms. Geum-ja (which is the literal Gerald Clarke’s biography to cre- adapt or copy but create – leaving a English translation of the original ate a portrait of this eccentric, bril- universally envied back catalogue title). She even goes so far as to liant and iconic figure of the late in their wake. donate a kidney; earning her a puri- twentieth century. With the culmination of ty that Park emphasizes by sur- In 1959 a family of four his tar-black revenge trilogy, rounding her with a visible aura. were brutally murdered in a remote Korea’s Park Chan-Wook can now Yet underneath she is Lee Yeong-ae as ‘Lady Vengeance’ Kansan farmhouse, and Capote be added to that list. ‘Sympathy for twisted with revenge – she dreams much in this film, concluding all Mr. Baek, why does he add such a travelled there with the intention of Phillip Seymour Hoffman camps it up in ‘Capote’. Lady Vengeance’ follows 2002’s of dragging Mr. Baek, trapped in a the loose strands and themes of the cartoonish angle to the rest of the writing an article. He became ‘Sympathy for Mr Vengeance’ and cage complete with a dog’s body, genius, simultaneously repelling sustained within a written work, trilogy, that he almost overloads violence? obsessed with the case- and partic- 2003’s ‘Oldboy’. across a snow bound landscape and attracting the people around but not in a movie- or at least this the viewer with information; con- It is almost as if Park ularly with Perry Smith, one of the Be warned; while none before unceremoniously executing him. movie- and I fear I’ll not be the stantly slipping backwards in time, can’t quite bring himself to reveal murderers convicted of the crime- of these films are inherently driven him – her purity is not of forgive- Most impressively, in a only person who thought that two in and out of fantasy sequences, his vision completely, indeed there and spent the next six years inter- to appeal to violence-seekers, there ness, but of retribution. Her film where there is plenty of room hours felt more like three. which is frequently confusing. Just is a strange strand of justification in viewing people involved and writ- is a viciously evocative level of for moralizing, we are never told The other disappointment (and I ‘Be warned... there is a when your brain becomes attuned the trilogy, not of the act of blood that can’t fail to brutalize what to think, and the credit for this hate to say it) was Hoffman him- to this, Park slows the movie down. revenge, which is pure and unques- ‘This kind of emotional anyone but the closet psychopath, viciously evocative must go to the director. In fact, the self. In the pivotal scene I was The final third almost drags as the tionable, but in the protagonists. As scope and depth is pos- as Park put it “I don’t know how level of blood that can’t chief emotional force derives not struck with an odd feeling of déjà culmination of Geum-ja’s duplicity Lee Geun-Ja puts it “There are sible in literature- but is people can find fun in watching from the monstrousness of Capote, vu when he screwed up his brows, fail to brutalize anyone sets up the pièce de résistance. good kidnappings and there are bad mindless films. If you want a an ambitious aim in a nor from the brutality of the mur- turned his face a beetroot red, and but the closet psy- There is no attempt kidnappings”. This attempt at peaceful rest, have a bath.” movie and what derers whom he studies, but rather began pumping out the tears. I sud- chopath’ throughout the trilogy to see implying a fallibility of the charac- Lee Geum-ja (Lee from the awareness we are given of denly felt like I might be watching revenge in anything but a highly ters is somewhat incongruous to ‘Capote’ has in subtlety, Yeong-ae) is a young, innocent and revenge, as Park puts it, is her way the humanity within these individ- a clip from ‘Magnolia’ (a film that stylised way. In ‘Lady Vengeance’ the stylised nature of the film itself. it lacks in cohesion and lost schoolgirl who moves in with of “trying to save her soul”. Her uals: the fact that monstrous acts surely sets some record for ‘crying’ Park surprisingly employs the same It makes it rather hard to empathise her schoolteacher Mr. Baek (Min- kindness, therefore, is not to bal- focus.’ are committed not by monsters, but scenes), where he again demon- type of colour filters that were used with them, and all you are left with sik Choi – the protagonist from ance her karma. Her fellow by people. strates his singular facility for in Amélie to signal the changing is a feeling of detachment that ing what he knew would be one of Oldboy) when she finds herself inmates are nothing but pawns in The performance of changing the colour of his face and mood of the film and, in particular, detracts from the film. the most important books of his pregnant and alone. Falling under her plan to hunt down Mr. Baek. Clifton Collins Jr. has to be men- weeping a small bathful of tears. of the leading lady. It is somewhat ‘Sympathy for Lady age. But in the process, he became his influence she unwittingly aids Once released she sheds her cover, tioned: he was utterly brilliant in His voice, his manner- unsettling and seems odd consider- Vengeance’ is no doubt a good torn apart by the guilt of the in the abduction and killing of a rejecting the welcome and help of the role of Perry Smith, achieving isms, his poise were all perfectly ing that the violence is supposed to film, but the trilogy peaked with exploitation and deceit he young child. When caught by the the prison chaplain who believed perfectly the difficult feat of belie- realised- but somehow he never be so integral. If Park believes that Oldboy, and judging Park on his employed to gain the trust and police, he forces her to confess to he had saved her, and focuses on veably portraying a man on death quite managed to rise above the we can see some kiddy snuff and own high standards it doesn’t quite explore the minds of the people his crime in return for the life of setting the balance right again. row who might strike up an inti- affectations and intonations of show us eight year olds begging for cut it. involved in the case. her young daughter that he has also Park wants to explain so mate friendship with a camp, tur- Truman Capote. It was very much a their lives before they are killed by It is certainly a film one expects to impress. The portrayal tle-necked, bespectacled intellectu- case of ‘Phillip Seymour Hoffman of the flamboyant, tortured, loath- al, but who might equally lunge out as…’ rather than ‘Phillip Seymour some yet charismatic and brilliant and murder him at any moment. Hoffman is…’ Having seen him ‘Frat Pack’ rules the comedy roost writer offers a platform for Phillip Richard Hickock (Mark Pellegri- Seymour Hoffman to break out of no), Smith’s partner in crime, is an the supporting roles that have for almost comically contrasting figure so long made him the darling of the who, in a film peopled by pensive, Hollywood art-house scene, and sensitive artistes, seems to have finally to shine in the lead. So why wandered in from a next door was it that despite there being so screening of ‘Aeon Flux’, existing many great things to be said about in an odd ‘Sixth Sense’ world this film, I left the cinema with a where he is virtually ignored by vague sense of disappointment? everyone else on screen. But first of all- the good What, then, was the things. ‘Capote’ demonstrates problem? As the film progressed, I extraordinary subtlety in portray- found myself secretly hoping with lovable stray. ing the perpetual dilemma facing each ponderous fade to black that Will naughty Vince Vaughn and his friends continue to monopolise These ‘hilarious cameos’ writers as they delve into the lives the credits might roll, and yet I was presumably have some healthy Hollywood’s comedy scene or have we had enough of them already? Becky of those around them for artistic amazed to find on leaving that in financial benefit, as well as ensur- purposes. It is almost painful to fact it was less than two hours long. Jackson has a look at how five friends’ banter became box office gold. ing a consistently high profile, but watch as he coaxes the closest It may be that ‘Capote’ suffers Splashed by the bus one gloomy conjure up a new rule to back him- Hutch’. Perhaps there is a tacit at the same time there must be secrets from the people around him from trying to adapt itself from not day last autumn, I looked up to find self up. A bit like a drunken game agreement- “If you play a Spanish some concern about the risk of through his uncanny ability to one, but two books. It sets itself the a poster for Will Ferrell’s new film. of Monopoly when you suddenly newscaster (Ben Stiller in over-exposure. Cinema goers only instantly strike up a bond of intima- almost unimaginable task of - American writer and On the other side of the bus Vince find house rules have been extend- ‘Anchorman’), I’ll be that ice- want so much of a good thing, even cy. One is struck not only by the turing both the literary process, the Vaughn and Owen Wilson were ed to handing an item of clothing to cream seller who gets hit on by the if it comes in all shapes and sizes journalist Truman Capote manipulation and deceitfulness of man himself, his complex relation- touting their latest ‘Wedding the banker every time you pass cheerleader”- between the five of (from a 5 ft 7 brunette to a 6 ft 3 1/2 this man, but by his growing self- ships, as well as giving the other perform so brilliantly in his diverse Crashers’ in which Ferrell also hap- Go… Vaughn has also spoken up ginger). This point is only arguable hatred, as he becomes increasingly characters some voice of their own, supporting roles, it almost seemed pens to appear. Toss in Ben Stiller about LA nights out with John ‘Vaughn has spoken however if the frat pack really estranged from his own sense of and finally to reflect (particularly as if the lead was too much for and Owen’s little brother Luke and Favreau when they would have to cares if they appear together in a about LA nights out human decency, and as his obses- in the stunning opening sequence) him- although perhaps it was I that you have a full set of inter-change- work round lines such as ‘'Excuse box office flop. with John Favreau sion with the masterpiece within something of the power of was expecting too much. able buddy banter adaptable to suit me if I appear to be squinting but I The five of them have when they would have himself and his subjects gradually Capote’s book. That said, it is a film of any special occasion from meeting was up really late last night paint- taken care to maintain film careers takes over. This kind of emotional extraordinary ambition, coming the parents to weddings, barmitz- ing miniature elves’. A tough one to work round lines entirely separate from each other Equally affecting is the scope and depth is possible in liter- frustratingly close to being truly vahs or even children’s birthday to go with, though it may have been such as: “Excuse me if I and have presumably shown noth- portrayal of his relationships with ature- but was an ambitious aim for great. As well as Collins, Catherine parties. part of the inspiration behind Will ing but avuncular goodwill to appear to be squinting his close friends, particularly Belle Bennett Miller, a man directing his Keener gave a remarkable per- As it is the banter that is Ferrell’s 2002 hit ‘Elf’, in which newly spawned break-away mem- but I was up really late Harper Lee (Catherine Keener), first feature, and the result is that formance, as in fact did all the sup- all important - carrying the famous full-on all-singing, all-dancing elf- bers such as Steve Carrell, Paul and his lover Jack Dunphy (Bruce what the film has in subtlety, it porting cast. And despite my nit- five through with cheerful aplomb ness was no barrier to him getting last night painting Judd and Seth Rogen who like pre- Greenwood), who are both wit- lacks in cohesion and focus. picking, Hoffman himself must to whatever appropriate happy end- laid (or paid: a reported 6 million). miniature elves”.’ cocious wingmen went from nesses to and victims of Capote’s Perhaps the formulaic surely be a strong contender for ing – one might well wonder The secret to the flexibil- ‘Anchorman’ to star in their own obsession. By permitting us to plots and slick, perfectly conclu- Best Actor at the Oscars. whether much of the dialogue is ity of the ‘frat pack’ (as they have them. But somehow it doesn’t seem buddy banter movie ‘The Forty experience the emotional realities sive endings of typical Hollywood improvised or just lifted from col- been labelled by USA Today) is so. The leading role appears to be Year Old Virgin’. It would there- of a range of characters Bennett fare have ruined my palate, but it lective personal experiences and their apparent willingness to star, democratically shared round, so fore be hard to condemn the Frat accentuates Hoffman’s own por- seemed to me as if ‘Capote’ called made to fit the scenario. According support or just materialise on that one man’s pet project (Ferrell Pack for not fixing what isn’t yet trayal of a man who is by turns cal- too many strands into play, detract- to Owen Wilson the original screen. I can’t imagine many wrote and starred in and Stiller broken; If my chat sold like this I’d lous and compassionate, arrogant ing from the film’s overall clarity ‘Wedding Crashers’ script only had Hollywood stars being prepared to directed, wrote and starred in keep it coming until I’d totally lost and yet possessing a magnetic and narrative force. This level of two rules but every time Vince mustachio-up un-credited as Will ‘Anchorman’ and ‘Zoolander’ my audience… wait… Where are subtlety and complexity can be Vaughn went off on a rant he would Ferrell does in ‘Starsky and respectively) becomes another’s you going…?. Isolation Variations: Bukowski goes to the Cinema Bashir Moukarzel a beer from the fridge, downs it, resignation. But this very male fan- Antagonism towards oth- sits, and holds his head. Jan wakes tasy (a New York motel in the early ers has not the easy resolve in the Cynicism, far from undermining up, runs to the toilet, vomits, hours, pulling on a Lucky Strike, refuge of isolation. The dialectic of the regime’s hold on power actual- returns to bed, lights a cigarette. filled with Jack Daniels, thrashing connectivity-solitude is engaged ly strengthens it. How far was this Chinaski attempts talking and at a Remmington Rand typewriter) with in respect to its tension with- understood by the fictitious Henry comes out with “I need to be on my is mistaken if it conceives this solu- out an attempt to designate Truth Chinaski (played by Matt Dillon) tion as responding to an ontological exclusively to one side. Where do I in the recent Charles Bukowski ‘Barfly is notable truth, a deep, universal insight; that reside? biography, ‘Factotum’? in that it is as a movie somehow we really are alone (only ‘Barfly’ is notable in that At the end of the film, that would not be boys wait for Godot). it is as a movie that would not be sitting in a New York strip bar on touched by Hollywood This position is popular touched by Hollywood today; it is the early side of midday sipping a in the male-literary tradition - too unattractive. There is an unex- beer, we are instructed by a today; it is too unattrac- Beckett, in his Trinity composed plained soar on Chinaski’s eyelid prophetic voiceover that all (a) man tive... Factotum, true in thesis on Proust, wrote “For the throughout the film, his knuckles can hope for is the inherent truth of spirit, is unfaithful in artist, who does not deal in sur- are scab-ridden and there is a sup- isolation. The film, standing as a surface.’ faces, the rejection of friendship is porting cast that must surely have lament for the lustful children of not only reasonable , but a necessi- been local barflies. ‘Factotum’, capitalism, forwards an aesthetic of own”. Sure, thinks Jan - a head ty.” More helpful is the approach true in spirit, is unfaithful in sur- Matt Dillon plays barfly Henry Chinaski in ‘Factotum’ irony and distance from the work- heavy with yesterday’s drink and hinted at in the superior 1987 face. scores this connectivity-solitude going and you choose the film; sit- head’s in with a fire-extinguisher ing world, relations with other peo- smoke needs space - but Chinaski Bukowski biography, Barfly. Later in ‘Barfly’, Chi- tension. Seated amongst many, in ting in the auditorium, as the title- on the weekends? Am I certain of ple. Use-value subordinated to does not need time on his own, he Chinaski (Mickey Rourke), sitting naski is confronted with another the dark you are alone (unless your credit reads ‘Irreversible’, soon nothing?” And in the middle of exchange-value affects not just wants time to be his own; 9-5, his bar-side with Wanda (Faye question; “Who are you?” partner or a friendly stranger tries enough a man’s head is being beat- your Joycean internal word-pile, commodities but human beings. business. Dunaway), is asked a question: to hold your hand. Resist this temp- en to a pulp with a fire-extinguish- the film ends. When asked by your Waking up in bed with He packs and leaves, and Chinaski: Ah, the eternal question! tation; you will miss the entirety of er and you’re thinking “Because I friends “What did you think of it?” his sometime bed-body-buddy Jan is in a strip bar, and then we hear Wanda: Do you hate people? And the eternal answer: I don’t the film. “Should we rent a film?” chose this film, do my friends think You only say “I like your heads just (Lili Taylor) after a (typical) heavy about the isolation. And that’s what Chinaski: No; I just prefer it when know. (Laughs. Exits) “No, let’s just take our clothes off I like to beat peoples’ heads in with the way they are.” And, before you nights drinking, Chinaski runs to we are left with - Bukowski’s Big they’re not around. and see what happens.” fire extinguishers on the week- know it, you are experiencing the the toilet and vomits his worth, gets Idea, man’s salvation; dignified Cinema-going under- Or like when group-film- ends? Do I like to beat peoples’ Bukowskian isolation.)

12 Tuesday March 7th 2006 Music Editor:Steve Clarke MUSIC Trinity News Making the Scene... Steve Clarke speaks to up-and-coming Canadian indie band Broken Social Scene their new album, breaking up, and their local music scene. Supergroups, despite their archi- What was the story there? there's twelve of us, sometimes fif- tectural interest, are rarely the sum : Yes, I think to teen of us on the bus, travelling of their parts. For every Traveling some extent- we didn't want to CS: Yeah, well I guess it was just together…living together all the Wilburys (which featured Roy make a pop record. But it's really before the record came out…it was time. You just have to understand Orbison, George Harrison, Tom hard to say what's deliberate- a year ago or more when we had that people are different and to start Petty, and, wait for it, Bob Dylan), there's so many thousands of deci- this famous "last show" in Toronto- to appreciate people for their dif- there seems to be numerous ill- sions made when making a record we said it was potentially our last ferences- it kinda makes you a bet- advised counter-examples. that it kinda takes on a life of its show. But that was just cus we'd ter person if you can get through it. Audioslave will never be as good own, and you can't really say that been working really hard and as Rage Against the Machine, and you did anything intentionally. everyone had been touring a lot- TN: So. The whole Canadian all the collective might of the musi- we'd reached our limit. But we music scene…I suppose you're cal titans known as Billy Corgan TN: I was wondering how the song took a little time away from touring sick of being asked questions about (Smashing Pumpkins), Matt writing process occurs with so and everybody did their own that? Sweeney (Chavez), and David Pajo many of you in the band? thing…nobody ever really thought (Tortoise/Slint) couldn't help their that the band was ending; that was CS: [Laughs] Well, I could give supposed supergroup, Zwan, from CS: Well, every possible combina- never really an issue. When we you an answer I've given a lot of being plain embarrassing. tion you can think of in song writ- first started as a band, at the begin- times but I wanna give you some- Broken Social Scene, ing happens. Somebody could ning of every show we'd say, ok, thing different... there's a lot of however, are an exception to the write a song on their own and bring this is our last show, because we good music everywhere. Canada rule. Originally a side-project for it in and teach it to the band-that'd never knew whare the band was has a big magnifying glass on it Toronto indie-band K.C. happen very rarely and then we'd gonna be at the next town. We had right now, which is wonderful cus Accidental, the band snowballed to rehearse and record it. Once in a this attitude that we're not trying to there's a lot of bands that deserve fifteen members, including Amy attention there, but there's also a lot Millan from Stars, James Shaw and “Canada has a big magnifying glass on it of bands everywhere that deserve from Metric, Charles right now, which is wonderful cus there's attention too, so I mean its just a Spearin and Ohad Benchetrit from trend- I'm happy it's happening and , Murray a lot of bands that deserve attention there, I think there's a lot of merit in the Lightburn from the Dears, and solo but there's also a lot of bands everywhere music in Canada right now but like artist Leslie Feist. It's a verifiable anything its just a popular phase. who's who of the Canadian indie that deserve attention too, so I mean it’s It's healthy, it's a good thing, and I music scene. Their current, self- just a trend...” hope it lasts. But I hope it doesn't titled album has seen them receive get spoiled at the same time. rave reviews, building on the criti- while that happens… most of the make it as a band, we're just trying cal success of 2003's You Forgot It time I'd say we write in the studio; to make it for tonight- we just TN: Are there any influences In People. Trinity News caught up someone would come up with an wanna have a good show. So we'd shared across the band? The album with founding member Charles idea, then somebody else would tell ourselves it was gonna be the reminded me of Loveless by My Spearin before their sold out add to it… some of its written in last show, and play like it was. Bloody Valentine- that same kinda Temple Bar Music Centre gig last jams- basically we're making Now we've got so many people blurry, unhinged dream-like quali- month.music all the time whether we're on involved we can't do that anymore ty… but that might just be the pro- our own or in groups of two or because it scares people too duction more than anything. Canadian supergroup Broken Social Scene in one incarnation... TN: So, you've just released your groups of three or all much….so we're officially a band fashion of the world, so I think genuine forum…or it can be any- from when we recorded the last latest album in this part of the together…y'know it's hard to say now. CS: Everybody knows My Bloody we're lucky that way. way. It's so diverse and it really has record;it was time to put out a world- to me it definitely seems where songs come from…they're Valentine in the band, but there been the basis of our career…file record so we had to decide which less accessible than You Forgot It usually a group effort- nobody tells TN: Is there a secret to non-stress- was no…actually I'm sure Dave TN: The internet has been a huge sharing and the whole bit is how songs to finish. So we have a In People; the vocals are less audi- anybody else what to do. ful touring then? Newfeld, the producer, doesn't factor in your success, with a lot of we've been successful. whole lot of other unfinished music ble, there's more ambient sections- know My Bloody Valentine- he publicity coming from grass-roots which we would like to release, not it really takes a few listens to deci- TN: You've had an interesting time CS: I think it's just maturity- I doesn't have any records made past fanzines and blogs. But you've also TN: So, as an overall verdict on necessarily as an album; maybe as pher it. Was that a deliberate reac- since the release of the last album, think we've all gotten a bit more 1984. He's a really interesting char- experienced the dark side of the the internet? Thumbs up? another kinda type tion to the amount of hype or atten- touring extensively; there were mature, we're not kids acter- he's not trying to make a internet, what with your album CS: Give it the thumbs up, defi- thing, maybe. We've got lots of tion you received with the last rumours you had split up more than anymore…just understanding that fashionable record, that's for sure- being leaked… nitely. As long as you go outside maybes…we just wanna get it fin- album?once actually during that time. people are different. Y'know he's completely unaware of the sometimes… ished so we can forget about it and CS: Well, not really- that wasn't move on. We've got lots of plans.

The internet has been the whole reason Indeed they have. Their gig in the Temple Bar Music Centre was so we're successful really…it's a great word successful the band are returning to of mouth, genuine forum… Dublin on the 18th of May to play Vicar Street. Check them out terrible, it was just annoying. Its TN: I dunno, you can get groceries before this particular supergroup just we wanted a break when we delivered nowadays. So what are goes the way of the Highway Men finished the record- it would be the plans for Broken Social Scene (which featured Willie Nelson, nice to have a month just to breathe now? Between the last two albums Kris Kristofferson and Johnny a little bit, but as soon as we were you did soundtrack work and Cash). There will NOT be a done suddenly people were talking released a b-sides collection, Bee reunion tour… about it and we had to start defend- Hives. Any similar plans for the ing ourselves because it was a bad future? version. But that's just par for the course. The internet has been the CS: Yeah, we've got lots of work to whole reason we're successful real- do…we've got a whole other cata- ...and here in another, fiyng the X-chromosome flag. There’s a lot of them. ly…it's a great word of mouth, logue of music that's fl finished

up this image; its mind-boggling "Modern Life" is one of Ane Brun: A lack of originality forces one to Rocket the best songs on the album- Album Reviews not only ponder upon the desola- essentially a traditional rock song, Temporary tion of modern life, but to posi- Science: but with the frantically played tively wallow in it. keyboards introducing an electro- It's a shame about Ray... Dive Such lyrical nonsense Eternal pop vibe. "Connect Me" has an as 'I wear rubber bands around my uplifting, pulsating melody, which between Ray Davies and Evan Dave despite all the fights off the Will Daunt soul' on Rubber & Soul (a mis- Holiday is enriched by chords played on an Ray Davies: Dando; one was one of the greatest stage and the shenanigans on it. guided reference to organ and lead singer Roman of all time, and the Dave Davies was the other 47% The Beatles?) is in the Catriona Gray Tucker assuming an impressive Other same vein as the Bowie-esque falsetto for the “The only way this album changed my life for esteemed Mr Blunt's impressive chorus. better or worse was that I spent 110 minutes knack for completely The final track, "Blow People's meaningless allusions Up" is also worth a listen. With listening to it. That means I listened to it to emotional state; influences audibly derived from Lives twice...” absolutely unforgiv- The Dandy Warhols, this track Oisin Gartlan able. In short, I very would be brilliant-if only it wasn't other was in The Kinks... I'd like to that made me love The Kinks. His nearly turned it off two for Tucker's failed attempt at I've been putting off writing any- take this time to apologise for this skilful guitar work and superlative songs in. snarling the word 'Destroy' in an thing about this album for a while. fiasco of a paragraph. And for solos (think 'You Really Got Me') However, exact imitation of Johnny Rotten, There's a much better reason (fine, apologising so much, because you served as the perfect foil for his after forcing myself to mid-way through the song. excuse) then just average run of and I both know I'm not sorry. brother, something which is defi- continue I found that it Think the Hives, the the mill procrastination. I'm just There are some good nitely missing here. More impor- is not all utter drivel. not that impressed with the album. songs here, All She Wrote, Stand tantly however, he has an astound- Had it been produced in the same “Rocket Science are I want to be, I loved The Kinks and Up Comic, and Is There Life After ingly brilliant name. Say it: Dave If anything, Swede Ane Brun cer- stripped down manner as Joanna I have to say, upon first hearing yet another faceless as Ray Davies vocals and song Breakfast in particular stand out Davies. tainly fits the criteria for mysteri- Newsom or Cat Power there this album, I felt pretty indifferent writing were 53% of the reason I for me. Having read that line after We're done here. What? ous singer song-writer. She sings would be more than a drop of four piece churning towards Rocket Science. They loved The Kinks, I figured I'd love a second listening I've realised I You want some kind of rating on a about love and loss, she is cute but potential, but as it is, we are left out pop-rock to a seemed to be yet another faceless this album. I was however slightly was lying to myself. They're just scale? Forsaking the traditional not beautiful, and the cover for with some distinctly dodgy synth four piece churning out pop-rock saturated market..." worried. Let's face it, most of above average and the rest of the “number out of 17” format: a gen- this album seems to be an attempt and string arrangements. She has, album is decidedly average. It was erous and rose-tinted 3/5 after all, supported Abba. to a saturated market. Since then I Ray's still got that even more ordi- “Its mind-boggling Similarly it seems that have listened to the album a bit Kaiser Chiefs, the Killers, distinctive voice and nary and typical lack of originality Brun has not yet quite found her more carefully. First impressions Razorlight or just about any com- voice (worrying considering this aren't always accurate. mercial rock band that has sur- story telling lyrics the second time forces one to not around. is her second record) and she Unfortunately, in this case, they faced in the last few years and you which are well Ray's only ponder upon switches from Dido style bland- were. will have an amazingly accurate observed and often still got that dis- the desolation of ness, to Alanis Morrissette whine, "Eternal Holiday" is the idea of what Rocket Science to Bandhart-esque quiverings. third album from Rocket Science, sound like. Remember in the film witty tinctive voice and modern life, but to story telling lyrics Indeed, the only true highlight on who originally hail from School of Rock, when Jack Black positively wallow in Melbourne. Although no one those who managed to survive the which are well the record is 'Song No.6' featuring takes a group of school children could describe Rocket Science's 60s shouldn't have. You know who observed and often it...” the great Ron Sexsmith, where her and shows them how to be a rock sound as innovative, "Eternal you are, has-beens. Cut your hair. witty. What lets vocals dip and dive around the band? Rocket Science are like Holiday" does have some good I'd like to take this time this album (and to evoke thought upon the loneli- melody of the chorus, which bears that. They sound right, they have tracks, in fact, all of their songs to apologise about the headline, you the consumer) ness and desolation of modern life the same menacing and circus like all the correct chord progressions are surprisingly easy to listen to, I've noticed that the editor has an down is everything (a women walks past a wall upon quality as the new Bandhart and the obligatory swear-words, probably because we've heard unhealthy fetish for puns (which else. It's just fairly which there is a portrait of Ane record. However, the fact that this but they're missing something. them all before somewhere- the he should see someone about), and standard, I'd bet a Brun looking sad). Indeed, a lis- is the only non-generic moment Something essential but sadly title track's riff being a not-so-sub- it's the only one I could think of. fiver Ray really tening of 'A Temporary Dive' on the album is telling of its over- lacking. Originality. tle adaptation of Nirvana's "Come Besides, it's unfair to create a link misses his brother reveals her success in following all mediocrity. as You Are". Music Editor: Steve Clarke Tuesday February 14th, 2006 13 Trinity News MUSIC Her Space Holiday: The Strokes set Past Presents the Future

John Picardo

There's a sort of grim humour in a marriage of glum lyricism and chirpy, polished electro-pop, as though the incongruity augments the emotional impact of the lyrics while simultaneously making the self-obsession more musically palatable. Her Space Holiday - nom de guerre of California- based singer- Marc Bianchi - sang "The only thing I know / Is I'm unhappy here" on 2001's fine "Home is Where You Hang Yourself" and was traduced as a misery-monger distinctly lacking in subtlety. Friend of Conor Oberst, remixer of R.E.M. and American Analog Set, and recommended by no less an authority than Arab Strap's Aidan Moffat, HSH remains one of the most visible members of the American underground scene - his 2003 gem "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend" was even covered by the 2004 Polish Idol winner, Monika Brodka; this despite its mordant lyric about infidelity. Of late, however, Marc has expanded his emotional range and "TPPTF" is his most buoyant work yet, retaining the lush strings of "Manic Expressive" and the chiming melodies of "The Young Machines." Reminiscent of The Album Leaf and even Bright New York’s the Strokes overlooking the Big Apple. Eyes' "Digital Ash in a Digital Urn" HSH isn't exactly charting Setlist: exciting new sonic territory here, Will Daunt ed them with the ideal venue to do spiky, piercing guitar. this creates is particularly enjoy- lished sing-alongs) and opener able because it destroys the suspi- 'You Only Live Once'. Whilst it is You Only Live Once but tracks like "Forever and a Ben Eastham Moreover, the New Yorkers seem to have cion of aloofness that has accom- the material from ‘’ that Day" and ""The Good People of Everywhere" showcase a new been left behind by the new bands com- panied the band's live performanc- really seems to resonate with the Hawaii The Strokes named their most es before. audience, the reaction to songs Juicebox empathic bent to the lyrics while recent album 'First Impressions of prising the very scene they had inspired. The song is well- from both Room on Fire and First Soma the blend of organic instruments, Marc's lovely chapfallen vocals Earth', yet, as they are clearly received, as are others from First Impressions is still massively so. Having seen them live before, The only interruption to Impressions.... The Strokes' search enthusiastic. and spaced-out electro textures aware, it is the world's first impres- Razorblade sions of them that continue to dog the first and most striking surprise the breakneck pace, however, for a new direction is demonstrated The Strokes have been continues to mark HSH out as 12:51 their progress. Hailed as the sav- was the new-found ability of the proved to be a highlight. Having by the variance in style (and indeed accused of ducking their state with one of the best offbeat singer- iours of rock upon their arrival in band to fill the enormous space in played a frenzied and unexpected quality) of their most recent collec- stardom, but this gig demonstrated Alone Together songwriters in America at pres- 2001, their subsequent develop- front of them and to engage the Ramones cover, following it with tion, but the well-integrated set-list that they are finally ready to fulfill ent. Sumptuous synthesised ment has been the focus of enor- crowd. This must in part be credit- the crowd favourite 'Barely Legal' cleverly mixes songs from their their own potential and reclaim strings on Air-esque "You and mous press coverage and analysis. ed to excellent sound engineering, from their debut album, the band ever-popular debut, under-rated their place at the forefront of con- The End Has No End Me" make it a stand-out track. Moreover, the New Yorkers seem but also demonstrates a previously exit the stage to leave lead singer sophomore album Room on Fire temporary music. It is easy to for- Ize Of The World Even if "The Past to have been left behind by the new absent confidence in their ability to alone with the and the newer, more challenging get, as the Strokes seem almost Trying Your Luck Presents the Future" features a cleverer-than-thou title and occa- bands comprising the very scene play to such a large crowd. Never microphone, under a spotlight. effort. Other highlights included veterans in a scene they helped to Life's A Gas ones to interact either with the create, that the band are still only sionally you long for a sound they had inspired. The recent coro- This gig demonstrated that they are final- Barely Legal nation of the Arctic Monkeys as crowd or with each other onstage, in their mid-20s and only released more gritty than Marc is willing Ask Me Anything band of the moment, 'voice of a the five-piece nonetheless main- ly ready to fulfill their own potential and their first album in 2001. In con- to offer us, HSH's latest album is Vision Of Division generation' seems to highlight the tained an impressive momentum reclaim their place at the forefront of con- junction with the refreshing ambi- a reminder that amidst the beats Strokes' failure in capitalising upon through a lengthy set, keeping tion and confidence displayed by Reptilia and blips of electro-pop there can their initial breakthrough. They intervals between songs short and temporary music their sonically adventurous new be emotions more powerful than returned to Dublin for the first time playing with an incredible cohe- album, this gig points towards a New York City Cops any acoustic troubadour could since Oxegen in 2004 with a point sion, kept together by Fab Singing to a looped Mellotron the aforementioned Ramones promising future for the band that Someday muster. to prove. Moretti's metronomic drumming track, the enigmatic lead man is cover 'Life's A Gas', 'Someday' and rejuvenated rock 'n' roll. Take It Or Leave It The Point Depot provid- and illuminated by 's left exposed. The strange intimacy 'Hard to Explain' (both now estab- Stylish debut from Gorky’s frontman Is this the worst album ever released? Mark Rodgers on Euros Child’s ‘Chops’, the debut album from the Gorky’s Zygotic Mynci frontman Rahul Bery has the misfortune to review Coheed and Cambria’s latest album Good Apollo I’m burning IV Volume 1: From Fear Through the Eyes Given the current vogue for acts recording when they have been has decided to bring out his own and the more country tinged folk of Madness. He’s not happy about it. such as Architecture in Helsinki, largely responsible for some of the effort, with volume adjusted and of recent years. Lead single Animal Collective, Devendra best off kilter pop music of recent knobs twiddled by Gorwel 'Welsh Donkey Island is the phat cousin to Firstly, let me admit that I didn't Michael Jackson, Busted, and circumstances. If you do, when Banhardt etc., it is strange to find years. super producer (it's all relative)' Spanish Dance Troupe's Poodle finish listening to his album…I Leatherface from the Texas you die, penniless with your that Gorky's Zygotic Mynci should In the meantime, Owen. That's actually his full Rockin', with its cheap keyboards couldn't…it was too painful. I'm Chainsaw Massacre are diabolical- friends and family nowhere to be feel the need to take a break from Gorky's front man name on his birth certificate by the and vocoder effects as Childs tells sorry. Anyway, here's the deal: this ly intermingled, creating a heinous seen, coughing out your last tuber- way. Owen was the man who the story of well, being on an seems to be the first installment of singing beast that won't shut up. cular breath in a godawful dingy helmed Gruff Rhys' 2005 self island inhabited by donkeys. Hi some grand four-part saga, and it The lyrics are of the cheesiest, alley, you'll think, in an agonizing styled Welsh language opus Yr Mewn Socasau has an equally has song titles like 'The Speed (Of most sickly 'my girlfriend dumped moment of realization 'It was that Atal Genhedlaeth. ramshackle feel to it, redolent of God's Blood and Burial)', and also me and creating (shit) 'art' is the 15 euro I spent on the Coheed and Unfortunately for something from Tatay or has an accompanying graphic only way to soothe my emotional Cambria CD, that was where it all Chops, it is the embellishments . There's also the hyp- novel for which you have to pay an torment' type, and you can hear the went wrong' before you plummet that Childs' band mates ordinarily notic eight minute First Time I extra $20, but which I'm sure is singer saying 'woah, like, what if I down to hell, where Satan, forsak- would have provided on Gorkys' Saw You which, although opening essential to the understanding of said 'I love you' and 'I hope you die ing his usual punishment, forces albums that, at times, prevents with a somewhat repetitive key- the 'plot'. in the same song!' you to listen to all four parts of Chops from becoming anything board refrain, slowly gathers lay- Clearly these guys think I am not doing justice to 'Good Apollo…' for ever and ever other than mildly frustrating. Any ers of harps, flute and guitars they're creating a masterwork with how bad this album really is. AND EVER! of the bizarre instrumentals that towards the end without ever get- the flawless construction and plu- Listen, do not buy this under any found their way onto Gorkys' ting out of breath, never mind rality of 'Ulysses'; a timeless epic album were usually kept to a mini- breaking sweat. to rival 'The Lord of the Rings'. mum. Chops on the other hand, has But it's the trio of Costa The pictures of monsters might 14 tracks and lasts little over half Rita, Circus Time, and Surf Rage suggest the latter, but in reality, it's an hour, half of them under a that really stand out. All match the minute long. A number of songs lazy low key beauty perfected on I cannot do justice seem half finished: Country Girl's albums such as How I Long to Feel to how bad this strum a case in point; Stella is a that Summer in My Heart and album really is. Pygmy, Parts 1, 2 and 3 are no Sleep/Holiday. The seaside more than doodles between songs; romance of Costa Rita, populated Listen, do not buy and you can't help but wonder by Childs' usual endearing misfits, this under any cir- what a song such as Dawnsio Dros where the narrator falls for the cumstances.... Y Mor would have sounded like local ice cream girl is a particular had it been fleshed out a little. highlight. With no sign of any However, that is not to activity on the Gorkys' front, ridiculous, overblown emo (worse, say the album is not without its Chops has just about enough in it 'prog emo'), complete with strings moments. Stylistically, the album to keep you going for the time and keyboards and a singer that incorporates both the psychedelic being, and repeated listening sounds like the result of a car crash Gorky's Zygotic Mynci frontman, Euros Child aspects of Gorkys' earlier work makes it worth the effort. in which the bodies and minds of 14 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 Food & Drink Editor: Rosie Gogan-Keogh FOOD & DRINK Trinity News

The Dublin Food Conspicuous Consumption Experience …With Claudia Mongolian Barbeque, 7 Angelsea Street, Dublin 2, 01-6704154 Rosie Gogan-Keogh Braün Two weeks ago the flat I was living in went on fire. I awoke at three in the morning to the sound of my Butlering Class but above the Bed- the hen’s egg as it fizzed and sput- flatmate’s heart-stopping screams. Making Class. Cleena and Breege tered on the frying pan, and found Half asleep from my room, in laughed heartily at my confusion that a most unexpected change had my slumbering state only noticing and declared that I was about to come over me. I was absorbed. the smoke coming from her room take enforced lessons in food Indeed, by the time it came to lift as I reached the sitting room. preparation. Suddenly, everything the egg from the pan, it was with The old-fashioned oil made sense. These beings with positive pride that I noticed mine heater beside her bed had explod- their thrusting manner and – oh, was the only one not to have con- ed. She’d awoken to the sound of how I shudder – beige slacks, were gealed into a freckled mass of the bang and miraculously man- about to force me into a life of white and yoke. ‘It looks,’ Cleena aged to escape the room. Within drudgery below stairs. I had been leered from the front of the class, seconds the flames had spread from kidnapped by Socialists. ‘like we have a natural on our the curtains to the sheets on the We were lined up along a hands.’ bed. The entire room erupted. A silver counter in the kitchen, at It was evident from this giant ball of flames scorching, which point Cleena shuffled to the remark that Cleena was as ignorant searing, burning everything in its I never thought I would be as front of the room and announced of genetic predestination as she reach. relieved as I now find myself to that the prisoners would be making was of hair-care. Enraged, I flung By the time we reached gaze upon the scrawny counte- a fried egg. Whether all seven my egg on the ground and goose- the bottom of the stairs of the two nance of my scribe. This past week would be frying a single egg or stepped right out of the class. It is storey building, we could see the has been the most breathlessly whether eggs would be distributed one thing to discover in oneself a bright orange glow as the fire eventful of all those I have spent to us individually was unclear, at capacity for mingling with the spread. My cheeks would glow red here, among the fetid stew of least to begin with. I was certain lower echelons – it is quite another around, admiring our own gaf, after all-you-can-eat menu. In fact this is heated plate, which lays atop burn- for several days afterwards from distaff deviants making up the that we prisoners were being kept to be told one belongs among doing up the place, making it ours. all you can eat. They serve nothing ing coals with low flickering the intensity of the heat from the Mountjoy Prison women’s wing. in suspense as part of some mind them. Naturally, I didn’t get far The room where the fire else apart from a handful of starters flames, cooking the food while we smoke alone. This, you see, has been vocational control technique. However, a few from the kitchen before I was had started was unrecognisable. and desserts. await impatiantly . The three of us living in training week. moments later, portable cooking marched off for an afternoon in The ceiling was no longer there. For €20 you can choose The food isn’t much the flat found ourselves standing on On Monday, a troupe of devices known as ‘stoves’ were The Hole to think about what I had The wall that had fronted the cori- whatever mixture of ingredients more than this gimmick however. the street in our pyjamas, huddling thick-tongued do-gooders descend- wheeled before us, and my adven- done. dor was now just several blackened you like, as many times as you like. And for the most part, no matter together, listening to the sirens of ed on the prison, as part of a gov- ture truly began. My ordeal reached its how I tried to vary the ingredients the ever closer fire brigade. The ernment scheme to give incarcerat- My first shock came apex mere moments before you “Take small amounts each time, try different each time I returned, it never tasted other tenants in the building ed females the necessary ‘skills’ to when I saw that the egg I was hand- arrived for this interview. A war- mixtures and hopefully by about the fifth much different to that homemade streamed out after, having followed pursue a productive life beyond the ed had issued not from a quail, but den disrupted me as I applied my stir fry I know so well as a down the sounds of our frantic screaming bowl—if you’ve made it that far—you should barbed wire fence. I, dear reader, from a common hen. Of course, make-up to tell me that not only and out student. and manic bangings on their doors. was as baffled then as you no doubt Mr. Browne and I did have hens, had I been enrolled in a year long have reached perfection” We did have a great time It took four fire engines are now. Nevertheless, I must though we never ate their eggs. cooking class, but that Cleena and though. The food was tasty and the to put out the fire. We waited shiv- truthfully say that I felt my first No, they were kept solely for the Breege had maliciously put my wooden posts. There was no furni- Sounds good. constant running up and down to ering in the taxi of a kind passerby, ever twinge of solidarity with my use of our haruspex – Mr. Browne name forward as a participant in ture, no nothing. All that remained They also do a lunch buf- the buffet meant that for such a completely in shock. It hadn’t sunk fellow inmates when I witnessed often having recourse to the use of the Annual Montjoy Bake Sale, in of the boxes of junk we had cleared fet for €13 12:30–3:30PM and an large group we did all manage to in. We were alive and physically Big Sharon being dragged kicking bird entrails to predict the stock which prisoners compete in a cake- so carefully and stacked in the hall early bird for €16 3:30–6:30PM. see each other, as opposed to hav- unhurt. Was I still dreaming? and screaming to a basket weaving market. Apparently, the great baking contest, the first prize of was a sloping pile of black ash. The You choose your ingredi- ing to shout at those at the opposite To be honest I don’t class in the exercise yard. I believe crooked-toothed mass of the popu- which is a chance for early parole. plastic shower screen in the bath- ents from a wide assortment of end of the table to talk to them. think it has sunk in yet. it was this moment of vulnerability lation preference the egg of the hen Obviously, those room had melted down into a mess. fresh vegetables and meats and It’s not cheap either. But Even when four days that enabled a frizzy-haired wretch over the egg of the quail, presum- Socialist blood-suckers think they The black, melted and charred fish: beef, chicken, pork, and a con- then again you could feed yourself later, entering the flat after the calling her self Cleena – and a ably because it is larger and, as can humiliate me, but Claudia things we used to own were now an coction of mussels and prawns that for a week. My advice is to avoid forensic’s examination and a team being of indeterminate gender pro- peddlars, they are not guaranteed Braün has a surprise in store for artist’s dream of distorted found didn’t look very appetizing. You letting excitement get the better of of builders who made the place claiming its name to be Breege – to another meal for some time. them. I’m going to beat them at objects. This was like life, barbe- then move on to pick a sauce, and you by succumbing to the tempta- safe for us to enter, it still didn’t descend upon me and, flashing yel- As I gingerly cracked their own game. This is one Jail qued. though there are many to choose tion of piling your plate as high as register fully. These remains lowed smiles, cheerfully inform me this object into the pan placed in Bake that’s going to end in success. Speaking of barbeques a from, they all taste a bit the same. possible first time round. Take weren’t the rooms I’d made my that I had been enrolled in the front of me, a neighbouring crimi- week after the fire I went for dinner And last, you spice your dish with small amounts each time, try differ- own over such a short time. No, ‘Cooking Class’. nal, popularly known as ‘Wham at the Mongolian Barbeque with a choice including paprika, chilli ent mixtures and hopefully by that place was happy and warm. This term ‘Cooking Bam Betty’, nostalgically informed NEXT TIME: The Annual several good friends —friends who powder, garlic etc. about the fifth bowl—if you’ve That was the place after staying up Class’ proved to be quite a puzzle me that we were cooking with the Mountjoy Bake Sale. automatically opened their doors Then you wait in line made it that far—you should have all night partying, going to work as I turned it over in my head while self-same make of frying pan she and wardrobes to us now-travelling with your concoction and hand reached perfection. and coming home exhausted I’d shuffling in single file with six or used to batter her husband and his [Claudia Braün is in conversation nomads, no questions asked. There your bowl of raw ingredients to the Here’s to hoping I don’t still gone crazy and tidied up just seven other prisoners towards the lover into a coma and an early with David Turpin.] were fifteen of us at the dinner, for chef, and he works his well-prac- have to wait that long before find- because it was my own. It was canteen. I had always understood grave, respectively. Perhaps in an one of our group’s birthdays. ticed magic — skillfully throwing ing my own perfection again. where me and my boyfriend had sat the Cooking Class to be a social effort to escape Betty’s attentions, I The Mongolian is their one bowl at a time in a circle on the on the couch, simply gazing stratum somewhere below the focused my own on the activity of Whatever SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL you charge The essence of this column is cheap. But a cheap pint doesn’t have to mean a bad pint. It is with this in mind that we are including a section on drinking on the bright side of three euro. If you are taste sensitive then turn away now. The sunny side of three euro per pint comes at a cost, the bar maids with hoof dentures, the funeral time music and the refreshing taste of anti-design. This is not Dawson Street country. Your own keg parties

My search this week for the expensive- it is in fact the went to the extreme of rent- variety of 50 litre kegs Holy Grail has taken me These days the keg party is cheapest way to enjoy beer ing out a projector, ordering (that’s over 105 pints) such away from ‘bar maids with the way to go. Screw on tap. several kegs and turning as Guinness, Budweiser, hoof dentures’ and ‘funeral trekking around in search for their sitting room into a Heineken and Bulmers for time music’. Instead, I have the perfect pint or drinking I’ve even heard of recent makeshift sports bar for the €240 each including deliv- delved into the world of the warm, flat cans, when you schemes across the city, in Saturday afternoon match. ery and equipment. keg party. “One group of lads I know went to the This may seem a little far- Alternatively they have a I know we have all watched extreme of renting out a projector, ordering fetched, but for those of you special offer at the moment American High School not so inclined to make prof- of 30 litre Dublin Beer Brew several kegs and turning their sitting room movies in awe. Those kids in it from your friends it still for €130. Dazed and Confused really into a makeshift sports bar for the Saturday works out at the cheapest had it sussed. Ever wonder afternoon match.” way to get a decent pint in Or if you’re planning on what on earth you were this city. What’s more you going all out and really want doing lugging eight cans of can bring the perfect pint which budding entrepre- can do it in the comfort of to make a night to remember, Dutch Gold to that ‘great’ straight to your own door. neurs open the doors of their your own home with your or not as the case maybe – party you’ve spent three While it might not be the houses, invite 40 of their own ugly friends and terrible they also rent out bartenders hours trying to find, only to perfect solution to that quiet closest friends and charge music. for €75. get them stolen from your drink in–ordering an entire say €3 a pint. crafty hiding place behind keg to yourself may be Check out the BrewCrew.ie the couch? somewhat lethal, if not One group of lads I know where you can choose from a A keg and a projecter will set you up nicely Science Editor: Oliver North Tuesday March 7th, 2006 15 Trinity News SCIENCE Idiot Thinks Aliens Are Falling from Sky We of course all know of the many the overly bureaucratic passport not-too-distant future. (In case you shows they consist of around 50% this is the beginning of something recorded incidents when the giant control when you try to enter the were wondering- 'peer reviewing' carbon and 45% oxygen, which is amazing" Although another scien- weather god in the sky rained country by more traditional meth- is how members of the science fra- consistent with that of a biological tist simply commented "Sounds down, with malice aforethought, ods. ternity make those long winter cell, as is their shape and thickness, like bullshit to me", this, unfortu- not his or her conventional water Indian scientists have evenings fly by). although they possess no visible nately, is symptomatic of the lazy based products but a variety of long been known to the community During two months in nucleus and tests for the presence approach that many experts have implausible living things; among as unconventional in their methods, 2001 a mysterious red rain fell spo- of DNA were predictably unsuc- had toward trying to disprove them the French towns where it has and whilst they themselves would radically across Kerala, the tone cessful. Godfrey goes on to present Louis' theory. One popular belief is rained dead fish and the various like to describe this as 'original varying from a light pink to a deep a plethora of increasingly spurious that the particles are in fact the red spindly indigenous populations of thinking' others have slated it as blood red, and whilst the local pop- reasons why they could not be bio- blood cells of mammals, which South America who have claimed 'excessively zany' and even 'down- ulation were initially mildly irritat- logical cells from here on earth cul- Louis counters by asking, quite that anything and everything from right silly'. However this radical ed, they soon learnt to ignore it and minating in the wonderfully vague reasonably, just how 50 tonnes (the frogs to monkeys have fallen upon approach has been taken to new get on with their lives. Not so the rationale that they could not be estimated total mass of the parti- them. But now they have all been heights recently when the New wacky Keralan scientists. And spores or pollen because 'rain was cles that fell) of mammalian blood trumped by the state of Kerala in Scientist revealed last week that a although some of the more well- collected in buckets placed in wide got into the atmosphere? Though southern India where scientists paper written by a physicist work- known and respected scientists open spaces' (New Scientist). this is indeed a difficult question to claim that alien lifeforms are ing in Kerala which outlines his postulated that the red particles in Despite the fact that only answer there are undoubtedly bet- falling from the sky- most probably quite exceptionally improbable the rain were some kind of pollen half of the sentence: "Godfrey ter explanations than the one that in an effort to bypass the hours of theory will appear in a peer or fungal spore, a man called Louis happened upon his crackpot Charles Cockell of the Open humming and haaing that make up reviewed scientific journal in the Godfrey Louis had other ideas: he theory during 2003, at the climax University gives. His best idea is that a meteor explosion (presum- ably the same one) massacred a flock of passing bats splattering “Godfrey Louis happened upon his their blood into surrounding crackpot theory during 2003 at the cli- clouds, a theory that is apparently based solely on the fact that there max of a 3 week opium and LSD are a lot of bats India. Whilst the binge” New Scientist euphemistically describes this hypothesis as a 'wild guess' it might better be called breathtakingly idiotic. decided they were extra-terrestrial of a 3 week opium and LSD binge" With no sensible sugges- microbes raining down upon the is true, it does highlight just how tions coming from either side of the area from a passing comet, appar- long the science world has had to debate surrounding Kerala's red ently this is based on extensive come up with a halfway decent rain it is left to the voice of com- research. The comet allegedly rejoinder. In fact, when pressed on mon sense to ask whether: Godfrey passed over Keral from the north the matter, the seemingly equally Louis is: shedding alien microbes as it went ridiculous Milton Wainwright, a a.) stupid before finally exploding over the microbiologist at the massively b.) taking the piss town of Kottayam where the red prestigious University of Sheffield, c.) very very incompetent Alien, unusually not contained within a raindrop rain was first recorded. Analysis of said "If they're not living cells, I or the particles' chemical composition don't know what they are. Maybe d.) all of the above Raindrops, probably not containing aliens Blasting Off To Distant (Michelin) Stars Olivia Floyer-Acland finds martian cook- of home cooking. Incidentally for souls. However before we con- anybody who was wondering spir- demn them too quickly it is worth ing wanting ulina is in fact a bluish green algae, asking exactly what ingredients however what it lacks it scrump- were made available to each team There is nothing quite like jumping to sustain a crews whole trip. tiousness it makes up for in nutri- of chefs. Once the astronauts have on somebody else's band wagon, Besides as the ESA's biological ents. Containing 65% protein with succesfully invaded and colonized particularly if that band wagon is life-support coordinator, generous dollops of calcium, car- mars, Christophe Lasseur expects headed towards mars. As soon as Christophe Lasseur points out there bohydrates, lipids and essential that they will be able to grow nine the European Space Agency (ESA) is more to food than meets the eye, vitamins it shouldn't be too long basic ingredients: rice, onions, announced their hopes of engaging " In addition to being healthy and before we see it cropping up in tomatoes, soya, potatoes, lettuce, in long field trips to mars and sufficiently nutritious for survival, health food shops nation wide. spinach, wheat and of course the all beyond - the question of how to good food could potentially pro- Despite the emphasis on important spirulina. Not the most keep our boys in space from starv- vide psychological support for the the quality of food to be made thrilling of food stuffs for even the ing became the focus of much crew, away from earth for years". available for the astronauts, most devout of vegans and as head debate. In the circumstances one between them the top 'Haute cui- chef of ADF, Armand Arnal grum- Naturally it was two can't help feeling that 'potentially' sine' chefs from both ADF and bles it is difficult to make edible French companies, Alain Ducasse is a rather generous overstatement, GEM only managed to come up dishes when the EU health Nazis Formation and GEM, who started with dishes such as 'Martian bread with 11 recipies and although they clamp down on seasoning, " the battle to win the lucrative ESA and green tomato jam' and are insistent of the 'tasty' nature of Moreover, we had contract. Unlike previous space 'Spirulina gnocchis' lined up the the 11 recipes, one cannot help feel absolute restrictions on using odysseys there will not be room to crew are sure to be comforted in the that variety is most definitely not salt...sugar and fat, ingredients nor- take enough dehydrated food stuffs presence of such nostalgic morsels the spice of life for these earnest mally essential to the elaboration of a dish and highlight its flavours." Mmmm... martian bread with green tomato jam However before you panic and can- cel reservations for the next tourist Lasseur is quick to point out that by colonizers, " will also 'get for free' incentive to spend years floating U.S. To Turn Military growing roughly around 40% of the oxygen and water needed to around space? shuttle to mars, gastronomy on our food, small holding martian live". What could be more of an into ‘Traveling Circus’ mars will have some benefits. Engineers funded by the US Navy incorporation of dolphins into the with brain implants, be a tricky The Long Awaited Return Of... announced recently that they have US navy, they now hope that task: one pessimistic scientist at designed a neural implant that will remote control sharks may become Boston university describing allow a shark's brain signals to be 'stealth spies' capable of following sharks as too 'unreasonable and manipulated remotely after prelim- enemy vessels undetected. uncooperative' for any serious mil- inary tests on dogfish in tanks Although this would no tary application. This has prompted Overrated and proved successful, allowing the doubt further the US military's hushed rumours that along with the scientists to remotely control the ambition to bring the average IQ of squadron of fairly useless dolphins fish's movements. A series of elec- new recruits closer to that of their in the US navy and a team of rats trodes embedded in the sorry ani- commander-in-chief, it too is that are allegedly used to sniff out mal's brain are used to stimulate unlikely to be massively success- bombs the sharks are merely play- Underrated Science various areas of the fish's brain and ful, as, whilst the shark is not quite ing their part in George Bush's control its movements via some- as stupid as the sardine or tuna, secret operation to create the thing called, not particularly help- which they feast on with impunity, world's first military that can dou- Overrated: Underrated: fully, a "phantom odour". Great they are very definitely looked ble as a travelling circus, in order excitement in the scientific world down upon by dolphins and even to win the 'hearts and minds' of var- was, however, averted by the fact many whales as among the dunces ious occupied populations, follow- Regular Rain Red Alien Rain that, according to the New of the underwater world. ing widespread condemnation of We were bored of it after 20 minutes. 20 years Bringing some much needed excitement to the Scientist on March 1st: "radio sig- Convincing one to fol- the previous policy codenamed later we’re still bored world of precipitation nals used to direct the dogfish in low for miles the hull of a boat operation 'death to the natives'. the tank will not penetrate water" which it cannot eat will also, even how very useful. Acid Alkali Whilst the morally The orginal and best Basic. Very Basic. upstanding scientists conducing the research hope that it will bring a new understanding of how Natural Sugars Real Sugar marine life interacts with its envi- If it don’t taste sweet it ain’t sugar You wouldn’t want fructose in your tea now ronment as well as helping research to tackle paralysis in would you? humans (the former being The Thyroid Gland inevitable, the latter wildly opti- Who knows what it is? Who cares? Mammary Glands mistic), the more ethically dubious Pentagon think the new technology Says Harriet Johnson, possessor of two: “I’d could have military uses. happily give up my thyroid gland ahead of either Following the mildly successful Shark, almost certainly up to no good mammary” 16 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 Travel Editor: Alix O’Neill TRAVEL Trinity News A Job Well Done in Ecuador Alyson Mc Evoy reflects on her experiences volunteering with children in Ecuador

Those familiar with my last four the poorest families in Quito who tify the word in Spanish, then to a baby could be seen waddling mothers of some of the children. sive relationships or just had very them, they do know the day is articles on travelling through the live in the south of the city. It’s a repeat it after us in English. That among the stalls, a man shaving This provided not only a skill for hard impoverished lives) than to coming when they will leave. various regions of Ecuador may non governmental organisation was the theory anyway. Some kids beside the open sinks or women these women but also a social know that someone had admired I hope my story inspires well have wondered at times what which was founded by an order of managed to overdo it with the chilli preparing dinner for the family on group and contact outside of the their work and had paid to own it. some of you to pack up and head to brought me to Ecuador in the first nuns in 1991. It offers educational, sauce, others had too much of a lik- the workspaces of the meat area. home. The women also bought It was one of the best parts of my CENIT! It is truly a wonderful place. psychological and medical pro- ing for lemons and spent the class Volunteers spend two hours in the supplies from CENIT volunteers week, handing over collected place. I think the volunteer manual My main reason for trav- grams to working children and sucking at the rinds of already centre here, helping children with and painted small paintings outside money to the woman concerned. sums it up when it says: elling to Ecuador was to join a vol- their homework and occupying of class time, putting their skill into Needless to say it was “ Hi! Welcome to CENIT! We are unteer organisation there, in the “Many children are used to volunteers com- those who had finished. A weekly action. A number of trendy cafes in very hard to leave CENIT at the so excited that you have come to impoverished southern part of the ing and going and although they can’t help football match got going on the touristy part of town had agreed end of five months, just when I was share your time, energy, education capital city, Quito. This I did for Wednesdays which made it diffi- give over a small area for the beginning to get comfortable. and experience with us. Whatever five months, travelling at week- but get attached to them, they know they day cult to believe the ‘I have no home- women to display their work and I didn’t have the nerve to tell the you do here will be an amazing ends, before taking the final two is coming when they will leave” work today’ stories, especially each week I visited these cafes kids I was leaving until my very experience both for you and the months to work on a more rural when accompanied with an eager with new work to display and col- last day in class. The sad thing is children you work with. Enjoy it!” volunteer project and to visit those their families. Speaking from a chewed slices! We all had fun but young face with a football in hand! lect money from paintings sold. that many are used to volunteers more far flung parts of the country personal point of view, it is a great we were doubtful as to whether Two other afternoons Nothing gave these women more coming and going and although CENIT’s website is www.cenite- which needed more than a week- place to volunteer as the options anyone learned anything. The time Hazel and I gave art classes to the pride (many of whom lived in abu- they can’t help but get attached to cuador.org end hit. are endless with regard to what you came for the monthly test and we In Quito I worked in can get involved in. On arrival you were truly amazed when we found CENIT - Centro de la Niña traba- are given a list of all the pro- that the majority had remembered jadora or, “centre for the working grammes run by CENIT and asked those four words from that class!! girl.” When I first arrived, I won- to tick your preferences. Then a We tried other kinds of similar dered what kind of ‘working girls’ schedule of work is organised for things after that, bringing in props these might be. It turned out to you trying to place you working in to class, acting things out etc but refer to young girls who worked as many of the programs listed as we never managed to repeat the alongside their parents in the possible. This is just a small sam- glory of that one class! numerous city market places. ple of the projects at CENIT; Two afternoons a week These were kids who were either Preparation courses for young chil- were spent on the after school pro- taken out of school at a young age dren about to start school, gram. This takes place in a shed by their parents, who saw more Kindergarten, after school support which CENIT managed to acquire advantage in their earning money centre, vocational programs in from one of the market places. It straight away rather than receiving areas such as art, beauty, hairdress- was at the very back of the market an education. The already over- ing, leatherwork, card making etc, place so all the volunteers had to crowded state schools of the city free medical clinic. walk through the whole market to don’t see it to their advantage to I had four English class- get there- an interesting experi- argue with such views. Other chil- es per week at CENIT, teaching in ence! In the meat section, hungry- dren working in the markets had their ‘alternative’ schooling sys- looking dogs prowled the ground been expelled from a succession of tem. As the standard of English for scraps and stripped carcasses of schools due to ‘anti social’ behav- was quite low and the concentra- unidentifiable (well, to me anyway iour, the result of shaky upbring- tion of the children limited, teach- – a vegetarian!) animals hung from ings, unstable homes (some did not ing involved disguising lessons in metal hooks. Next was the fruit have homes at all though) and lots of games and activities. All the section, a seriously impressive dis- many had also suffered some kind more fun for the volunteer! One of play of exotic fruit such as pineap- of abuse be it psychological, phys- the most memorable classes was ples, melons, coconuts, tiny ical or sexual. when my friend Gemma and I bananas (known as oritos), star CENIT is situated on the decided to start teaching the fruits and so many more, the most site of an old abandoned school English words for various tastes. expensive being about a dollar (and which has been renovated (in a We arrived in class armed with that was for, volunteers and pretty minimal sense of the word). provisions and set the class to sam- tourists- who knows what crazy It is a bright yellow building, pling various salty, spicy, bitter and deal the locals got?!) People lived cheerful and animated. Various sweet foods. Well, we passed in these markets and huge commu- walls are decorated with murals around salt, chilli sauce, lemon nal cooking, sitting, sewing, squat- painted by the kids themselves. It slices and sugar! Each taste was ting areas lay underground, is well positioned to help some of followed with getting them to iden- beneath the market. Every so often Alyson surrounded by some of the children she worked with when she was in Ecuador Fear and Loathing in California Klara Kubiak is left decidedly unimpressed by her experi- ences on the West Coast in part two of her Californian diaries

the outskirts of the ‘strip’ since the unwashed and exhausted, for and Inglewood, which you will be ture. Firstly they lack any real cen- home; but successfully finding the casino bars are overpriced and drinks at 9am followed by a trip to familiar with from any generic rap tre, they are more like sprawling, dingiest looking but best tasting underwhelming. Through some the cinema. To add to the pain of it song. Our hotel was actually quite oversized shopping centres, thus Chinese restaurant that side of the manner of frequent flyer point sys- all, the only film on at the time was pleasant; our walk home to it from you never feel you have really been Great Wall, visiting Alcatraz on a tem, the barman became very gen- the harrowingly bad “The the metro station, however, certain- to the heart of the city. Secondly, fly-infested ferry and generally erous with our drink portions and Brother’s Grimm”. It’s funny how ly was not. It was but eleven at there are very few activities for lolling about in the fantastic Green thus when we eventually stumbled being homeless, tired and grubby night and yet were the only females tourists. Most of it consists of Tortoise Hostel. A painfully boring outside, thinking it was still some- will allow you to endure even the to be seen on the streets, which arriving at some world famous ten hour flight later we were home- time in the early morning, it was most awful cinematic experience were lined with groups of men landmark, taking a few photos, except we weren’t. We were in mid-afternoon. So in Vegas you go simply because movie theatres pro- whose priorities in life appeared to and leaving with the feeling you’ve London and the dollar to sterling to bed at about 1pm, after attempt- vide seats, food and toilets. be drink, drugs and procreation. A been cheated out of an actual expe- exchange rate was nearly half, so ing to eat breakfast but finding that San Diego’s nightlife is friend of mine said we should rience. Rather than being there to about two hours wages were spent you are incapable of manoeuvring centred around its ‘Gaslamp almost take it as an insult that be discovered and explored, the on two much needed pints. A dose nobody tried to impregnate us. But tourism value of California’s cities of sleeping pills,which somehow Last issue saw us about to leave ty. And so we pulled the foreign “Californian cities are odd in that once you to our credit we did get a lot of exists more in saying you’ve been didn’t manage to make me sleep behind the socially backward, card, pretended we didn’t under- arrive there, you really feel like you’ve com- hissing, and the occasional bark. there and literally gotten the t-shirt. but just made me incredibly stoned The desolation and poverty of Santa Barbara was next, for about six hours, did consider- nutritionally deficient black hole stand him, babbled on in Irish, pleted your journey already” that was South Lake Tahoe. looked at each other and him in downtown L.A. is the polar oppo- a pretty, sleepy town, entirely mod- ably lessen the pain of the lengthy Desperately hoping that this place bewilderment and eventually he site to the other main area of the elled on Mediterranean style archi- transatlantic trip. During these few was the exception that proved the got so frustrated that he acquiesced cutlery, and sleep ‘till four. Which Quarter’ which is composed entire- city, namely the Beverly tecture. This serves to emphasise blissful hours plane food was not rule we vowed to wipe the slate and said we could stay for one is fine, because everything is open ly of restaurants and bars and Hills/Hollywood area. After our another characteristic aspect of only temporarily tolerable, but clean and give the rest of night. Who ever said getting resi- all the time, so you can never wake offered a massively welcome downtown experience, we drove California: anywhere remotely aes- even bordered on exciting, and the California a chance. We had had dency in America was a harrowing up too late to get anything done. change from Tahoe’s severely lim- up Sunset Boulevard, known to thetically pleasing is far from orig- terrible films they offer you had me glimpses of the outside world dur- process? Besides, Vegas during the day is ited menus and nightlife. But after anyone who has ever secretly inal but constructed to resemble enthralled, though I don’t remem- ing our time in Tahoe, taking Another weekend trip not a nice experience. The humidi- devouring a fantastic Indian meal, watched American soaps or MTV’s somewhere else, usually European ber many details. And so back I advantage of our days off from took us to Las Vegas, which is a ty is unbearable, so walking any- that actually had real vegetables in ‘Cribs’. The affluence of Beverly cities. Despite having its name came with naught but 100 dollars work to travel to Yosemite very odd place indeed. The entire where is impossible, and anyway it, and taking a trip to a proper pub Hills is in stark contrast to the large defiled by ‘The Thrills’, we gave in my pocket, some very odd pho- National Park, Las Vegas, Reno city literally looks like it’s made of there is very little to do there while that served proper pints, there isn’t homeless population and gangland Santa Cruz a go anyway, just to tos and some memories, which are and Sacramento. plastic and one wonders why the sun shines. And if the city looks a lot to do as such as a tourist. crime evident in other areas of the keep up the missionary town not so much fond as all right. Yosemite was awful, in it doesn’t melt in the stifling heat amusingly tacky at night, it just Balboa Park, which houses the city. But yet again, the recurring theme. It boasts a nice main shop- Admittedly Tahoe was the old-school sense of the word. of early August. People here have looks plain dingy during the day- city’s famous zoo, also hosts muse- theme emerges-there is very little ping street which we wandered an unfortunate exception to We had gone early enough in the gone to great lengths and expense time. ums and galleries, but a day spent to do in American cities. You walk passively down, (by this stage California as a whole (it seems a summer so that the glaciers were to make places look like other And so finally leaving there is all you really need. Full of down Hollywood Boulevard lined money was something of a luxury) kind of Middle American still melting, and the resulting already existing places: the ‘New behind the fast food and slow wit plans to take a detour down south with famous names surrounded by but yet again there was little else to Hicksville mentality somehow waterfalls were spectacular. York New York’ casino boasts a of Tahoe for good, our road trip to Mexico, the painfully bureau- equally famous stars; you pass do, apart from the famous board- managed to migrate westwards) Yosemite’s landscape is complete- mini-city complete with shop took us to San Diego, Los Angeles, cratic folk who issued us our visa endless number of shops selling walk with its amusements and but nonetheless I don’t intend to ly alien to anything you’d experi- fronts and street lights inside it and Santa Barbara, Monterey, Santa informed us that we needed to have tacky, overpriced souvenirs; but candy floss stalls, which my friend repeat the experience. I suppose if ence in Europe, which only seems a replica Statue of Liberty outside. Cruz and back to San Francisco. the foresight to get said visa that’s it, you’ve ‘done’ Hollywood, was incensed to find closed for the you like your portions and your to vindicate the saying that ‘The Venetian’ casino is even more Flying into San Diego in the early stamped two weeks prior to our and unless you want to get a job in summer. So we ended up in a bar people super-sized, yet painfully America is wasted on Americans. disorientating. With everything hours of the morning, we decided it crossing the border: getting out of Hooters (which by that way offers instead, where some weird guy lacking in substance, America may We encountered a little housing from indoor canals to gondoliers best to hold out till the next day America wasn’t the problem it was ghastly food served by middling- who smelt funny drew a picture of be your ideal holiday destination; crisis thanks to all the campsites and a fake sky, you’re not quite before looking for accommodation. being allowed back in that would average looking women), you us for no apparent reason and but given the unjustified cost of being officially booked out, but sure if you’re indoors or out. The This involved a couple of hours of be the issue. might as well get packing. decided to share with us the inti- obtaining the J1 visa, I really don’t came across a seemingly empty complete absence of clocks in the dozing in the airport, after which So instead we headed to Californian cities are odd mate details of his life. feel it’s worth the money. Perhaps patch of land and decided to city only adds to this feeling of dis- we hopped on a dingy bus into the Los Angeles, which is perhaps the in that once you arrive there, you Leaving Santa Cruz, we I generalise too much-one cannot colonise it. We managed to pitch orientation. Arriving quite late on city. Bearing in mind that we had dodgiest place I have thus far really feel like you’ve completed brought our adventure full circle blacklist an entire country on the our tent unnoticed, but soon an our first night, we didn’t head out no proper sleep, it hit us particular- encountered in my apparently shel- your journey already. There is no with our return to San Francisco. basis of one relatively small sub- irate American male was shouting until about one in the morning and ly hard that the proprietor of the tered life. We somehow ended up sense of having to explore the area, Our final days were spent wander- section, but I am in no hurry to find at us for trespassing on his proper- found some grotty, grungy pub on hostel wouldn’t let us check in till staying in downtown L.A., on the to wander down little side-streets ing Chinatown unsuccessfully in out if California is an exception to 2pm. So we ended up going, outskirts of areas such as Compton and immerse yourself in the cul- search of presents to bring back the overall American dream… Careers Editor: Myles Gutkin Tuesday, March 7th 2006 17 Trinity News CAREERS Career Focus: Private Detection Miles Amoore investigates the options available to those wishing to pursue a career in the sometimes thrilling sometimes mundane world of private detection. The Job screening, personal injury claims by some of the world's most noto- courses tends to begin with a Personal Qualities and issues of civil liability. rious criminals. rough overview of the profession Following the However, within the The majority of the aimed at those people who have For private detective Holmesian model for private enormous realm that constitutes detective's working hours are no prior knowledge of what the and investigator jobs, most detection, many people believe the world of private detection, spent alone, although this occa- job entails. After this prelimi- employers look for people who the profession to be imbued with there is always the opportunity to sionally changes in situations nary sketch, the trainee will nor- are assertive, persistent and an atmosphere of constant and specialise in certain fields. that require the daily tracking of mally move onto a more intensive ingenious. In addition, the detec- exotic danger. Whilst this may be Investigators of a subject's movements. course that lasts between two tive must not be afraid of con- the case in a few extreme Intellectual Property Theft: In What about the money? weeks and a month, and is aimed frontation, as the job can some- instances, the belief that the pri- this area of specialisation, the To begin with, you could earn as at covering the essential informa- times prove to be dangerous, vate detective works in such con- detective will primarily be little as €15,000 PA, although tion needed by those who wish to although this is no reason to ditions all of the time is a slightly involved in documenting acts of this is not too bad considering pursue a career in private inves- carry a gun, as the private eye is distorted one. piracy, providing evidence for that many investigators earning tigation. not involved in law enforcement In reality, the detective prosecutors, as well as helping at this level are employed part- These courses provide nor is he responsible for the will often spend long hours car- clients prevent illegal behaviour. time. At the opposite end of the the foundation upon which a apprehension of criminals. rying out routine surveillance Legal Investigators: pay bracket, an investigator with career in the profession is based. The private detective work, making phone calls from This type of investigator is usual- a large client base could earn Depending on the desired area of must also command good inter- their office and carrying out ly employed by law firms. They upwards of €40,000. If you specialisation, the person can viewing and interrogation skills, database searches on their com- assist in preparing criminal choose to remain self-employed, then attend to the more particu- as gleaning information from puter. Additionally, the investi- defences, locating witnesses, then you can expect to charge lar areas of the detective's job, obstinate sources is often part of gator will be involved in conduct- interviewing police and prospec- between €50-80 per hour of your such as surveillance work the detective's daily routine. It is ing de-bugging operations, car- tive witnesses, testifying in court time and between 70-110 cents (whether electronic, pedestrian also essential that the investiga- rying out polygraph lie-detection and collecting evidence. per mile when using your car. or automotive), debugging, trac- tor is able to stand up and pres- tests for employee verification Corporate ing and knowledge of lie-detec- ent information in a lucid and purposes and, in some cases, Investigators: This job has two Getting There tors. All of these individual sub- appropriate manner because the obtaining photographic or video focal areas. The detective may be sidiary courses can extend over a courts are often the sole arbiter evidence to support their client's used internally in order to Although there are no period of up to ten days. of a properly conducted investi- suspicions. unearth suspected drug use in formal educational qualifications In addition to these gation. All of these operations the workplace, as well as the required for entry into the world courses, there are seminars avail- Finally, the investigator are aimed at assisting the client. abuse of expense accounts and of private detection, it will cer- able that deal with setting up an must be personable, and have the The private detective's client the theft of merchandise by the tainly be an advantage to possess independent private detection ability to sympathise with emo- base ranges from attorneys and company's employees. The a degree when applying for the agency. The choice of owning tionally distraught clients: jilted businesses to members of the investigator may also be job. A degree is of especial one's own business may well lovers, the mothers and fathers of Sherlock Holmes, the greatest private eye of them all. public experiencing legal, finan- deployed externally, as a means importance as many people who appeal to many people and there missing children, witnesses who employees, 5 corrupt police offi- on his wife's life claimed, a year cial and personal problems. This of preventing or uncovering the make the move to private detec- are a few ways of realising the have been threatened by defen- cers, and 1 corrupt lawyer later, that his wife had been elec- latter client is perhaps the most theft of a company's assets. tion do so from another type of dream of self-employment within dants, and the grief stricken vic- spread over three separate conti- trocuted by an iron. NIG sent an renowned: the jaded lover whose The private detective's interrelated employment, such as the world of private detection. tims of unfavourable child cus- nents. agent to Pakistan, where it was distrust has brought into ques- workplace is as diverse as his the police force. One such way might be tody decisions are all just a few In addition to this com- discovered that his wife was not tion the fidelity of his or her part- occupation. A combination of Despite the evident to become part of a franchise, instances of traumatised clients. mendable record, NIG have dead and that the death certifi- ner. irregular working hours and experiential advantages that a many of which exist in order to played a large part in numerous cate had been forged. The man The objectives laid out time spent both in and out of the career in law enforcement offers, centralise an otherwise dissipat- The Example other cases, which illuminate the was charged with conspiracy to by the client can vary greatly. As office make for a lifestyle defined the applicant who does not pos- ed yet interlinked workforce. various situations in which pri- defraud the insurance company a result, the private detective's by constant oscillations between sess such knowledge should not The cost of setting up within a The Nationwide vate detectives can become of €400,000. sphere of work is constantly the banal and the exciting. Inside be deterred from applying. In franchise varies slightly amongst Investigations Group (NIG) has involved. shifting between one job and the the office, the detective's time is instances of corporate specialisa- the different agencies but is usu- run, since 1983, an enormous Case 3: next. The investigator's job is, usually spent making phone calls tion, a knowledge of civil law is ally in the region of €37,000. network of private detectives, Case 1: according to the client's agenda, at hours when most people have evidently of more value than the Initially, a few over- setting up a franchise in order to A client paid an incredible to offer protection, present indi- finished their work. This type of criminal law practiced by the heads need to be taken into con- ensure 'a flexible and compre- A woman who claimed €1 mil- €8,000 for the return of his vidual background profiles and menial and tedious work is coun- police. sideration when creating the hensive investigative service'. lion in a personal injury case Persian cat. to investigate computer crimes terbalanced by the often fascinat- In addition, the various business, such as the cost of the NIG takes on local, national and because she could not walk had perpetrated by those involved in ing and varied world that greets training programmes offered by equipment, employing members international cases and, in the her case overturned when opera- Career Resources identity theft, illegal download- the private detective upon his or private investigation companies of staff who can answer the past, has achieved high levels of tives discovered her, and filmed ing of copyrighted material or her exit from the office space. will accord the person undertak- phone around the clock and the recognition for their integrity, her, dancing on tabletops in a www.tcd.ie/careers sending harassing emails to Once in this world, the ing one of these courses a full locating and renting of the actual swiftness to act and decisive Greek restaurant. www.nig.co.uk members of the public. detective might find himself, with understanding of the ins and outs office space. However, once these results. To compliment these equal regularity, either in the of the law. have been accomplished, a pri- In the years since their Case 2: aspects of the job, there are also luxuriously decorated board- There are many courses vate investigation company can inception, NIG and its operatives the cases that involve fraud, cus- rooms of the business elite or in offered by numerous agencies. prove highly lucrative, earning have, uncovered 15 corrupt A man who had recently taken tody over a child, premarital the seedy underworld inhabited The standard format of these upwards of €70,000 per annum. politicians, 8 corrupt bank out a large life insurance policy Be Prepared for Continuous Professional Education With technology and scientific advancement revolutionising our lives and careers so often, Myles Gutkin looks at why education can no longer be confined to the classroom. If you're working as hard as you concepts of best practice regularly, there are few if any industries changes and specialised education ually, to advance with the industry. plans to get your foot in the door study and work which you can can now because you think that the or risk negligence. which won't benefit from regular mid-career can facilitate movement Industries change, and and then take it easy, but watch out comfortably balance with a healthy study will all end when you get Professional bodies updates of practices . Attending rel- to a more favourable sector before careers change with them. that the office doesn't relocate private and social life. Education is your honours degree, think again. license members to practice within evant seminars and short courses in or during difficult employment Employment is as dynamic an enti- while you're napping at your desk. not just a stepping stone to a career, Employers expect the high stan- their jurisdiction, and audit them to subjects relevant to your area of conditions. Increased computerisa- ty as knowledge is, and both must For professionals especially, educa- but a treadmill, so set the incline to dard of education that employees insure that they maintain appropri- employment can be an excellent tion and outsourcing of labour be in balanced to maintain a tion is a never ending process, so a level you can maintain for the possess on entry to be maintained ate standards. With the right to boost to your efficiency taken reg- doesn't need to spell disaster if healthy employment status and don't burn yourself out at the begin- duration. throughout their careers. practice comes the duty to satisfy ularly throughout a career. employees can be educated contin- healthy industry. You may have ning. Instead establish a level of Technology and scientific knowl- certain criteria, which includes To remain competitive, edge are evolving at an ever remaining abreast of advancements industries must continually increasing rate. Qualifica tions in relevant fields, and updating pro- increase quality and decrease costs. and skills quickly become redun- fessional skills to coincide with Those who fail to keep up with dant unless they are updated regu- modern techniques. The Irish market trends will lose custom to larly as industrial and professional Medical Council for example, businesses using more efficient, practices are revolutionised. For requires certain educational obliga- modern techniques. If a competitor example, computer literacy is a tions to be met by its members each is using a better method, it's in your skill very few possessed 30 years year. This can be done by subscrib- best interest to learn about it and ago, but with the advent of person- ing to appropriate journals, attend- how it can improve your productiv- al computers and the digitisation of ing conferences, and practicing in ity. This is done not only by invest- many industries, no profession can relevant clinical settings. Failure to ing in research, but also by encour- survive without computer literate maintain a satisfactory level of aging employees to update their employees. education will lead to removal qualifications regularly, and giving You may be working from the register. Regulated financial support to do so. An hard at college in the hope of gain- accreditation is integral to the employee with outdated skills is a ing a high entry level position with maintenance of appropriate stan- burden on their employer, but with a high quality degree, but don't dards in the fields Engineering, continuous professional education, imagine that you'll be able to keep Medicine, IT, nursing, and teach- employees can bring new ideas and up in a demanding field without ing. techniques into play as the industry renewing and developing your For professionals in care- develops. Education and techno- skills. From starting on your career fully regulated industries, main- logical advancement can give your path at say, 25 years old, until retir- taining standards of education is product the competitive edge in the ing at around 65 years of age there actively supported and enforced. market place, which is better for will be 40 years of scientific and However, for the majority of industry, employees and con- industrial development. Many cut- employees, self education won't be sumers. ting edge technologies will be compulsory, yet it can improve With technologies reduc- abandoned in that time, and most efficiency, and increase attractive- ing the labour intensiveness of careers will have changed signifi- ness to current and prospective industries all the time, redundancy cantly. Throughout your career, employers. To serve employers and is something facing more people in you'll be working for an employer customers well, an employee needs every generation. We must all be and a customer, and you can only to use modern techniques. With prepared to re-educate ourselves do that effectively if your knowl- regular advancements in the fields for lateral movement between edge and skills are up to date. To be of customer service, management, related careers or vertical advance- one year out of date is inefficient, education, healthcare, materials ment to management positions. but to be 10 years out of date is science, and media, which can Maintaining high standards of edu- criminal. You must update your improve the quality of product and cation can facilitate early knowl- practices to comply with modern service provision substantially, edge of impending industry ‘Education is not a stepping stone to employment, but a treadmill, so set the incline to a level you can maintain for the duration”. 18 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 SU & Societies Editor: Enda Hargaden SU & SOCIETIES Trinity News Overboard: Trinity’s New Community As the SU website begins to gather dust due to lack of use, an alternative has sprung up. The TCD forum on boards.ie has become increasingly popular as a place to talk to other Trinity students about well, just about anything at all. Here some of its regular users explain its appeal. An real internet phenomenon, forums ranging from Scuba ing a complaint about being sin- question became a no-holds happen as well. While debating unlike this fleeting Bebo craze, Diving to Conspiracy Theories to gle, he arrived into college the barred, taboo-busting phenome- the merits of candidates in the has been growing slowly but a recreational "After Hours" next morning to a barrage of non. Anything you ever wanted to recent SU elections, threats of steadily around campus over the forum, Boards has that Bebo-like "Would you date this man?" know about bodily functions, legal action were branded after a past two years. Its influence has addictive element. Clocking in posters - truly showing the power illicit sexual encounters, menstru- reportedly vicious post about far surpassed that of the SU with well over two thousand of the community present. ation, washable tampons, female presidential candidate John forum, though it has absolutely posts a day, it could never Many hacks and non- masturbation, or the mystery of McGuirk. The post was deleted nothing to do with the SU. It has accused of being a boring place hacks alike have criticised the the men's urinals in the Berkeley and the thread locked. As this been claimed that it has even to avoid the library with - there’s heavy-handed moderating on the Library was contained therein. article goes to print, a serious dis- eclipsed the University Record as simply too much to do on it. SU forum. Some even go so far Some classic quotes include cussion is developing over an a medium for college-related Boards now boasts as to say it dealt its own death- "Guys don't need to wipe, we just alleged arrest in Front Square, information. It's not merely about some well known TCD'ers blow. Certainly, at around the shake. Although you can actually before either of the college news- that however; as anyone who including current Education time those complaints about the shake for too long, and freak peo- papers report it. The immediate uses it regularly will tell you, it's Officer Dónal McCormack, Ents moderation were rife, the more ple out. There's an etiquette to it" nature of the correspondence is become somewhat of an open “Boards.ie has casual TCD forum of boards.ie and "There must be a thrill in get- very prevalent. community with an informal noticed a surge in activity. ting your jollies with a faceless, So what's in store for atmosphere. become the authori- However one notable who was unidentified person". the SU message boards? The Boards.ie was officially tative informal ultimately banned from boards.ie As members got to future looks bleak. Prospective founded in 2000 and has grown source for anything is the legendary ex-SU President know their colleagues on the students come in their hordes to Ireland's largest online communi- candidate Christopher Gambino. other side of the screen in real boards.ie to mine information ty with over 50,000 members. to do with Trinity” Having told us of how he pierced life, they decided to meet togeth- which wouold formerly have ben Although two of its owners (Dan Officer Niall Hughes, Trinity holes in his housemate's condoms the preserve of the SU. The com- King and Tom Murphy) are TCD News editor Andrew Payne, ex- for borrowing his jumper, com- “The TCD forum is plete dependence on funds and alumni, the Trinity forum was GSU President Michael Dowling, mented that "poor spelling is a thus lack of autonomy the SU only founded in September 2004. and ex-SU Deputy President and sign of a good education" and easily the most pop- have from the college gives Now one of the most popular former Engineering lecturer Tony stating "I fully support heroes ular of all the col- boards.ie another advantage. websites in Ireland, the Trinity O'Donnell. To the surprise of all like Franco, Pinochet, De Valera lege forums” Boards.ie has become the authori- forum is the most popular of all posters, a registered user with the and that guy in Argentina in the tative informal source for TCD the college forums. name of jhegarty has recently seventies" his stay was interrupt- er over a few beers. Last summer information. If you're sick of the A huge advantage been observed browsing the ed when he made one abusive the first major Boards Beers was inane bureaucracy associated boards.ie has over the SU website forum. Whether or not this is in comment too many. held with well over a dozen peo- with the SUand want to hear is the great variety of choice fact our esteemed Provost has yet An in-depth and graphic ple attending. Since then they've about a whole other side of life in available. When one gets bored to be determined. discussion of the "glory holes" in been regular occurrences with Trinity then maybe it's time you waiting for a reply on TCD-relat- The TCD "community" the Hamilton Building toilets was attendance ever on the rise. The have a look, or even say hello. ed gossip, they can peruse over is well-knit: one of the regular one gem that showed the effec- next is planned for the end of 500 other forums covering almost users was the result of a poster tive moderating of casual discus- term. Thanks to all on boards.ie who every imaginable topic. With campaign around college; follow- sion. What started as a simple Serious discussion does contributed to this article Boards: A whole other side to life in Trinity BESS Ball ticket Win one of 10 double winners passes to the Down Under Expo on March 11th-12th Bringing together a host of opportunities for working, travelling and studying in Australia and New Zealand the eagerly anticipated Down Under Expo will take place from Saturday 11th to Sunday 12th March at the RDS. A year Down Under is becoming something of a rite of pas- sage for many Irish students, so if swapping grey days for blue skies appeals to you then this show is a must visit!

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Congratulations to Kirsten Clear Question: What mammal is commonly associated with who won the two tickets to the life Down Under? Admission Times BESS Ball in our last edition. Saturday 11th March 10am – 5pm Picture shows Kirsten and Sunday 12th March 11am – 5pm Darren Ryan enjoying the Ball. Entries to be sent to [email protected] Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde Tuesday March 7th, 2006 19 Trinity News COMMENT& OPINION Who ends up offended? Is this a good ID-a? Recent media frenzy has fed into the giant uproar over the Mohammed car- toons. But when retaliation proved more offensive than the offense, Gillian Our passports need to be updated to guarantee entry into the United States. Britain Hamill wonders who actually loses out the most in such a furore want to issue biometric ID cards. Umar Ahmed looks at how much of this is a viola- The British National Party recent- cartoon caused offence in the first toon drawn by Kurt Westergaard. tion of privacy, and how much of it may be necessary. ly published leaflets displaying the place. A more morally effec- This behaviour, as some commen- controversial Danish cartoon of tive campaign in my eyes was the tators have put it smacks of a ‘big Some people watched the movie history lesson. ID cards were last these cards will be significant for services in their efforts to counter the Prophet Mohamed. The thousands of Muslims who gath- red do-not-touch button’ syndrome 'Minority Report' and thought that used in the UK during World War Irish people and those of any other terrorism, organised crime and leaflet’s caption poses the ques- ered in Trafalgar Square on 11 which Rose knew he shouldn’t it is was a great movie. Others felt II as a means to allow people to get nationality travelling and living illegal immigration. The major tion, “Which do you find offen- February to protest against both push, but curiosity killing the cat, that Tom Cruise had not really per- food rations and to prevent citizens within the UK. The obvious dif- benefit that will be provided by the sive? A cartoon of Mohamed with the caricaturing of the Prophet decided do it anyway. formed as he could have. The from evading conscription. They ference between 2006 and 1946 is introduction of ID cards will be a bomb for a turban OR Muslim Mohamed and the extremists seek- Controversy for the 'boy-racers' could not wait to get were also introduced to make sure that the European Union (EU) has that of fighting identity theft and demonstrators calling for terrorist ing to exploit the tensions for their sake of controversy. their hands on one of those futuris- that German spies could not easily eroded somewhat the sovereignty identity fraud. This will help to attacks on own ends. These protestors didn’t It is popular to argue that tic Lexus cars. And then there enter and operate within the UK. of states within the Union. ensure that members of criminal or Europe and the ‘extermination’ of sully their argument against cartoons depicting religious fig- were those who came out of the The ID cards were abandoned Citizens from all 25 EU states are terrorist groups will be unable to non-Muslims?” A photograph of Mohamed’s portrayal by stating it ures such as the Pope in an cinema and thought, "Wait a from 1952 as the government of allowed to freely travel and work use false identities. The ID cards protestors carrying placards such with the exact characteristic Kurt unfavourable light have been pub- minute. Biometric scans. I don't the day felt it unnecessary to have within both the UK and Ireland. will also ensure that only those as “Europe you will pay, extermi- Westergaard claims his cartoons lished across Europe, and there- such cards during peace time. The The introduction of ID cards in the entitled to the use of public servic- nation is on its way” and “Butcher sought to illustrate, namely, fore why should Mohamed be “This will force ille- current government in the UK has UK will apply only to UK citizens es such as the NHS will receive those who mock Islam” is used to extremist violence within the treated any differently? However gal immigrants even brought a bill that was recently and it is hard to conceive that the them. A major criticism has been illustrate this alternate benchmark Islam faith. Robert Fisk in The Independent more underground passed in the House of Commons programme will have much suc- that this will force illegal immi- of offensiveness. The BNP leaflet went on made a valid counter argument to reintroduce ID cards and to cess because of this. Of course, grants even more underground Labour Party Chairman, to elucidate; “By showing you just against this when he pointed out than they already ensure that these cards contain bio- advocates of the reintroduction than they already operate, as they how mild and inoffensive the car- that Muslims live their religion. are” metric data such as retinal scans will point out that we will have to will contact neither hospitals nor toon is, we’re giving you the We do not. They have kept their and DNA. Accepting opposition the police. “This was controver- like the sound of that. I don't like in the House of Lords concerning Many have criticised the chance to see for yourself the faith through innumerable histori- “The UK govern- sy for the sake of con- huge gulf that exists between the cal vicissitudes. We have lost our Big Brother knowing what colour the compulsion to own an ID card, governments proposed reintroduc- the last pair of GAP khakis I the revised bill maintains that from tion of ID cards by claiming that it troversy” democratic values that we share, faith ever since Matthew Arnold ment say that ID and the medieval views that domi- wrote about the sea’s “long with- bought were!" This is the person 2008 when applying for a new cards will help will antagonise ethnic communi- nate Islam, even supposedly ‘mod- drawing roar.” That’s why we talk who is now vigourously campaign- passport you must also purchase an ties. When members from these Ian McCartney was quick to erate’ versions.” How “mild and about “the west versus Islam” ing against the introduction of the ID card with biometric details counter terrorism, communities are subjected to deride these leaflets as“straight out inoffensive the cartoon is” is actu- rather than Christians vs Islam” biometric identity (ID) cards in the stored on a central register. The organised crime and police stop and searches they will of the Nazi textbook.” However, ally a matter of perspective. A because there aren’t an awful lot of United Kingdom (UK). So what government plans that by about illegal immigration” feel that they are being unduly whilst equating these leaflets with Western audience might ask what Christians left in Europe. There is could possibly be so bad about 2013 ID cards will be made com- harassed by the police forces and fascism would be a relatively easy all the fuss was about; there’s no no way we can get around this by these ID cards? pulsory. that the demand to produce ID task due to the exclusionist cre- guts or gore within this simple setting up all the other world reli- I will start with a brief The introduction of cards is only happening to them dentials of its authors, nevertheless drawing, but the circumstances gions and asking why we are not start somewhere and because they fit a certain profile. it is hard to deny that this question under which the cartoon was orig- allowed to make fun of that the trend However, is this not already the possesses a certain logic. inally published ought to be exam- Mohamed.” towards biometric case. In the post-9/11 security The cartoon's creator ined. The Danish Editor I believe that to unnec- ID cards is environment, andin the aftermath Kurt Westergaard has stated that Flemming Rose, aware that essarily offend a religion just to inevitable. The of the July 7 bombings in London, his inspiration for the pictures was images of the Prophet Mohamed see how far the boundaries of free United States is ethnic communities, especially “terrorism” which he said received have long been discouraged in speech can be pushed, is not demanding that all those of Arab or Asian back- “spiritual ammunition” from responsible or productive journal- new passports con- ground, already feel singled out. It tain biometric data is undeniably true that the threat of Islam. Surely Muslim demonstra- “Muslim protestors ism. Maybe cartoons aren’t meant tors threatening to “butcher all to be responsible or productive, so we are already on extremist-Islamic terrorism stems those who mock Islam” is a prime need to distance but they are a comment or reflec- our way. The US is disproportionately high from these example of how terrorism and vio- themselves from tion upon what is happening in the not planning on particular ethnic groups. With the introducing ID cards introduction of ID cards the securi- lence are generated in the name of extremism” world. It seems to me that suicide religion; how ammunition stems bombers targeting innocent civil- but France does ty services will be able to distin- from spiritual outrage? These pro- Islam, decided to hold a competi- ians are a much more potent illus- have ID cards which guish the law-abiding dutiful testors are ambushing their own tion for cartoonists to enter their tration that extremism exists with- are not compulsory British citizen from the individual cause by further linking Islam with own interpretation of him. The in Islam than any picture an artisti- to own and about on a watchlist and ensure that iden- extremist violence, which afterall, best one would be published. He cally uninspired cartoon could 90% of the popula- tity theft is not occurring. was credited as the reason why the choose the by now infamous car- paint. Muslim protestors should tion does have these If the security of the distance themselves from extrem- cards. Another individual is increased from the ism if they want their point about problem that will introduction of ID cards then I the disassociation of Mohamed occur with the intro- believe the government knowing and bombs to be taken seriously. duction of biometric some of our movements is a cheap Although I wouldn’t passports is that price to pay and one that cannot be personally have taken Flemming countries from bought. At the end of the day, we Rose’s decision to publish the car- which the threat of should have no problem with the toon under the circumstances terrorism is highest, introduction of ID cards if we are involved, I have to agree with Sir such as Saudi Arabia not planning on committing a Trevor Phillips, Chairman of the and Pakistan, are crime. If you have nothing to fear Commission for Racial Equality, countries that are then they don’t actually make that when he stated that “Short of peo- less likely to have big a difference in your life. Our ple menacing and threatening each the technology (or freedom is not being stolen by a other, we have freedom of expres- desire?) to produce government that would seek to sion. We allow people to offend biometric passports introduce ID cards but in fact each other.” Pointlessly offending or ID cards. being protected from those who religious groups isn’t desirable, The UK gov- would seek to abuse that freedom. but has to be tolerated in order to ernment has argued continue living in a democratic that ID cards will state - it is a legal activity; killing help the security Tony Blair is intent on introducing ID cards into Britain Muslims protests over the publication of the cartoons people is not. Dummywatch: Village Idiot Derek Owens is a would-be journalist. And when he sees other journalists acting stupidly, he feel he should tell them. In his continuing series of Articles for Dummies, he has a message for Village magazine: Up your tone and standards or you’re not going to last much longer If commercial success were our Irish Times stalwarts to chime in real, incurable malaise lies in through its pages. worthy cousin, only listened to sole criteria for judging journalism, with moral support: “Good old what’s actually on the page. The Fair enough, you may say, but because he tells such great stories, we could hail Rupert Murdoch and Vincent,” we’ll hear them murmur if ‘balance’ and unpredictability The Village is fast becoming your Rebekah Wade as saviours of the sadly, “He puts out such wonderful “The Village is are so important, how can we crazy uncle Larry, wild-eyed as he fourth estate. They’re not, to put it journalism. It’s just a shame explain the success of the Sunday tells you that the world is run (I’m mildly, and there is no shame in nobody wants to read it.” about as appealing Independent, a paper with such an quoting, by the way, from an article producing an impressive magazine Browne and his supporters as a crusty old pro- obsessive contempt for all things in the ‘Arts’ section!) by “a corpo- or newspaper, only to see it go may blame the gormless Irish read- Sinn Fein that it frequently passes rate and militarist minority, head- under in an equally spectacular ership for the demise of Magill and testor in an Aran into the realm of the risible? To be quartered in Washington.” Some financial fireball. That fact the Sunday Tribune – both these sweater” fair, there is a similarity there, and people enjoy shrill declamations, explains the strong reputation of publications had their moments – The Village is increasingly resem- backed up by little or no factual , whose entire but the reality is that The Village magazine’s contributors are ago- bling a sort of Sindo of the left. The evidence, with their morning cof- only has itself to blame for its nizingly predictable, pontificating crucial difference, though, is that fee. Sensible sorts prefer Sudoku. “The Village is impending demise. In a new, rela- on every issue from their safe while the Sindo sprinkles its anti- And there we come to the sad, tively sexy era of Irish journalism, perch on the moral high ground. nationalist polemic with the occa- brutal fact that will ultimately do increasingly The Village is about as appealing When we all know what The sional nugget of hard news, The for the rag. As one veteran of resembling a sort as a crusty old protestor in an Aran Village is going to say about the Village has consistently failed to Leinster House put it: “It’s strange, sweater. Never mind the shallow big news of the week, is there real- do that. With the exception of the nobody really talks about it, or of Sindo of the observation that it sports the ugliest ly any point in buying it? Almost Eddie Hobbs fiasco last year – The what it says. No-one here really left...” cover in the Irish media, nor the all newspapers have realized that a Village presented Hobbs with cares.” The magazine’s strong fact that its headlines have all the bit of unpredictability and variety accusations of impropriety made moments– think Harry Browne’s career in publishing, from the early subtlety of a placard at a pro-life helps keep things fresh; Kevin by his former employer, Tony likeable Meejit column, or Donal Magills to the Sunday Tribune, has rally. The Village simply looks and Myers and his ilk are tolerated at Taylor, only to back down from Ruane charting his spiral into exis- been a series of laudable failures. feels like a bad student newspaper, the Irish Times precisely because printing them when the Corkman tential crisis with grim humour- With falling readership and adver- from its grainy, poor-quality photo- they counterbalance the left-lean- threatened legal action– there has come when it isn’t aggressively tising, his latest venture, The graphs right down to its haphazard ing liberal consensus that forms the not been a single story of note that demanding to be taken seriously. Village, looks set to go the same spelling and grammar, and the wor- backbone of the paper. A broad the magazine has broken. Of When the bubble bursts on The way – even Paddy Power refused rying similarities in texture church attracts more worshipers, course, a terminal lack of anything Village, it may be hard to take this to offer me odds against the maga- between its pages and Dunne’s and readers, but The Village is significant to say hasn’t prevented bunch as seriously as they want zine going under before its second Stores’ no-frills toilet paper. effectively the temple of Browne The Village from positively ever again. birthday in October. When this lat- All this is superficial and fix- and his chums. You can hear their screaming at us weekly that the est folly is wound down, we can able – perhaps a double-quilted many axes grinding and chips Thatcherite enemy is at the gates. presumably expect the RTE and Village would get more use – the falling off shoulders as you flick If the Sindo is your sleazy, untrust- Leinster House: “Nobody there cares about Village” 20 Tuesday March 7th, 2005 Comment & Opinion Editor: Patricia Van De Velde COMMENT& OPINION Trinity News Why Sexy Advertising Works Losing the election Alanah Sparks knows that sex sells, which is why it’s used in advertising. You’ve all seen him, heard him, maybe even voted for him in the But where is the line that’s crossed when it offends? SU Presidential election. John McGuirk reflects on whether it is Sex sells. Clichéd though it may and dehumanising, and reductive weapons. red silky?) depending on their better to have run and lost, then never have run at all? be, no one can deny the unrelent- of women to mere sexual objects. Many women are fully plans for that night? Unfortunately ing truth of this old adage, first cot- She evidently has never witnessed aware of the power of a flash of for men, turning on a woman Over the past week I have been you’re a nice person, and secondly, know if losing hurt. Yes, it did, toned on to by the bright new cig- the Anabel’s queue on School thigh, a suggestion of a lacy under- requires much more than a pair of asked one question repeatedly. that you should be President. Of although I had resigned myself to arette and cosmetics companies of Disco night, where the outfits garment, a provocative smirk; ges- suspenders. So why deny this “What’s the hardest part of being a course, you can’t prove that you’re defeat for about three days prior to the freshly industrialised nine- donned by half the heaving crowd tures which can often render a man female superiority and turn it into a candidate?” The answer, I think, nice in 5 minutes, no matter how the count. When you put yourself teenth century. Today it bears more make this one look like a burka in weak and defenceless. Why deny thing of moral wrongness? varies depending on the person. hard you try, and if you talk about before the electorate, you are set- truth than ever. Who was Paris comparison. Does sexual objectifi- this faculty, one to which women, You might say it is one Some candidates, I know, dreaded nothing other than your campaign, ting yourself up for a fall. While I Hilton but a good time party girl cation bear the same stigma if it is bearing an innate control over their thing to go out and display your hustings. Others feared the count. you seem like a boring git, which thought that a lot of the things said before her scandalous screen debut self-inflicted? Outfits like the one visual tripswitch, are not vulnera- wares out of choice but quite For yet more it is the inevitable is the kiss of death. about me were unfair, and nasty, assaulted the public eye? What do displayed in the ad sell out in their ble should it attack from the other another to use those wares in order nastiness and public scrutiny that In fact, one of the great the truth is that they would never fame-starved Big Brother down- thousands every day in Ann side? How many girls can actually to plug a product to the market. comes with putting yourself before things about the election is the have been said if I had chosen not and-outs do to claw back a little Summer’s-type shops all over the claim to be turned on by greased- Sex is vital to the advertising the electorate. For me, however, friendship that develops between to run. extra mileage in their fifteen min- world. This is not so that women up thong-wearing male strippers? industry, and while it may not be the answer was easy, - the toughest candidates and campaign teams; - The final thing people utes of stardom? Why was it that can victimise themselves at the How many girls are likely to buy a channelled to the market solely part of the SU campaign is polling a lot of which I think is down to keep asking me is whether I would Janet Jackson enjoyed an exponen- hands of men. It is not dehumanis- magazine filled with naked men through the use of the female body day, when you have to watch peo- the fact that they are the people change anything if I had the oppor- tial boost in sales after an “acci- ing. It is because, knowing that for their sexual delectation? (you may remember a very beauti- ple vote. tunity to do it all over again. dental” strip scene with the men are programmed for visual Moreover, how many men are ful use of the male body in a recent To win, you tell your- “As you watch peo- Obviously, I would have stolen shocked Justin Timberlake? stimulation, women realise that going to deliberate over their Lacoste ad- no complaints upheld) self, you need two out of every ple who you have Cathal McCann’s laptop, and cut Because sex is the master of our this is one of their greatest choice of underwear (black lacy or the fact remains that it is a far more five people who go into the polling holes in the front page of every money. We the punters cannot get effective tool for channelling that booth to vote for you, - and yet, as never spoken to and copy of the last Trinity News, but enough of it, whether it’s a lascivi- message, simply because of the you watch people who you have don’t know queue up other than that, I don’t think so. ous chocolate ad, the hype of a vulnerability of people to it. When never spoken to, and don’t know, to cast ballots, there Despite the bad moments, and new lapdancing club, or the quest women see beauty or sex their queue up to cast ballots, there is a there were many, the campaign to find out who Jordan’s slept with brain is stimulated, when men see sickening feeling of inevitability is a sickening feeling was fun, and worthwhile. I wanted now. it, their other brain is stimulated. about the result. It brings home the of inevitability” to win, but I didn’t and that’s life. Just this week the This is the fundamental purpose of fact that what you have done, in I’d like to take this opportunity, by Advertising Standards Authority advertising; soliciting the eye and choosing to be a candidate, is to who you can talk to without feel- the way, to congratulate Dave on a of Ireland upheld a complaint gaining a reaction from it, and it is allow hundreds of people you ing under pressure to win their well run campaign, and wish him against a rather arresting poster ad safe to say that TG4’s suggestive don’t know to make a judgement votes. One of the nicest things all the best for next year. For me, for TG4’s Paisean Faisean, which campaign was every bit successful on you based on very limited about this campaign was having it’s off to a post grad somewhere. features the back of a leggy teacher in achieving this aim. information. You wish that you the chance to get to know both Finally, advice to prospective can- reaching up to write something on Given the acceptance of could sit down and have a pint Harman Murtagh and John Treacy, didates? Don’t run. But if you real- the blackboard, thus offering us a society to a woman sexualising with every single person who goes who are both lovely guys, and get- ly do want to, remember that los- glimpse of her silky black sus- herself for her own benefit, it in to vote because if they could ting the chance to spend some ing isn’t as awful as you think it’s penders from under her micro should not be seen as morally only get to know you they’d defi- quality time with Dave Quinn, going to be! mini. The accompanying slogan is wrong to transcribe this into com- nitely vote for you. who I’ve “Girls dressed by Boys”. Judging mercial use, provided that it is Of course, they probably known for a by the amount of stricken men used with sensitivity and decorum. wouldn’t, but in the heat of an while, - and walking past the ad, it seems to be The TG4 poster was advertising a election campaign, that’s how it don’t worry a fairly apt representation of how a programme based on the obses- feels. As a candidate, I always felt Dave, you’re man might dress a woman given sions of the new generation- mate- that my greatest weakness (apart a lovely guy full carte blanche, and since that is rialism, aesthetics and sex, and so from being evil, right wing, and too, even if the idea on which the cult dating the image was consextually apt. To evil, - thanks Cathal) was an you do show is based (three guys, one girl, ban it on the grounds of objectifi- inability to communicate well with sometimes each guy chooses outfit for said cation is a denial of one of people one-on-one. To be frank, pretend oth- girl and she chooses guy based on women’s most powerful tools of you feel like a bit of a clown, erwise! outfit), the advertisement would sexual expression. I’m not for a going up to people and asking As appear to be a playful if a little bla- moment suggesting that everyone them to vote for you. For two regards the tant reflection of the show’s inten- should go out and sex themselves weeks, every conversation you election tions. up- subtlety and taste as always have feels like a competition, itself, lots of The woman who wrote apply- but neither should it be stig- wherein you have to prove to the people seem in to complain about the ad seemed matised, or condemned. person you’re talking to firstly that to want to to think otherwise. She was incensed by what she saw as the swaggering objectification of women, stating it to be insulting Too much or just enough? Schols anyone? Sheila Monica Lynch wonders whether all the build-up, the Maintenance in Halls hassle, the studying, the missing out, the guilt, the dread and Living in Halls is promoted as a good deal. Alex Culley would agree if only they would the fear is worth a Foundation Scholarship First year was, well what was it? A any night of the week. The sound articles on never ending reading actually fix broken things. If incessantly asking doesn’t help, what will? lot of people enjoy it so much first echoes through the empty building, lists. You get lost in a sea of acade- time round that they decide to do it everyone else has long ago left for mia. Theories to explain everything. I shall forewarn you that this arti- of an inconsistency. It is my opin- for that spare part for our cooker to tion. When you experience a fault, again. Then comes second year – the the bright lights of the Pav. While Theories to explain theories. The cle is not the most interesting that ion that both essentially relate to be delivered from Outer Mongolia, complain, complain and complain last year of your degree that doesn’t your friends who are not doing expression over analysis springs to you will read this year, but if you inconvenience, so why is one but I put it to you that this has all again. Keep complaining until it’s count. Your first two years in college schols go out and enjoy their time in mind, repeatedly. You reach satura- live in Trinity Hall, it is an impor- apparently being treated more seri- gone beyond a joke. We’re being sorted. Make ten complaints a day are one of the few times in your life college, you must have the self dis- tion point and want to scream. tant one. ously than the other? taken for a ride, and such ridicu- if needs be. Badger the authorities you can get away with doing cipline to say no and go home. You don’t need theories to Have you ever had the Of course, it’s also a lous statements coupled with hos- by email, by phone, by loudspeak- absolutely nothing productive for a Home so you can get up and do the explain every decision ever made. frustration of your fridge door sud- question of cash – something tile reminders that we cannot enjoy er, anything. few months. Or else you become same thing all over again. Study. Take for example the European denly falling off? Even been rude- which most students are short of. ourselves without risking grief In short, next time the phantom incredibly busy with everything else You are studying when Union; less war more money. End of ly awakened after a night out on The Trinity website advertises insult our intelligence as Trinity mechanic pays your apartment a except for your degree. Essays can everyone else is off enjoying Dublin, story. That was all there was to it. the booze by a nice, cold ‘borstal’ Trinity Hall as providing ‘modern students. There is much spiel about visit and you are left no better off, and are done in 24 hours, assign- enjoying college life. Posters and Functionalism and neo-functional- style shower? Is the most interest- accommodation’ with ‘a well fitted creating a fun-loving, all embrac- remember the words of that mag- ments and presentations in less. The people entice you and distract you; ism, theories of integration and ing TV programme you watch all kitchen/living room’. For this we ing community here at Trinity nificent Dubliner George Bernard only thing that takes concentrated You torment yourself with things interpretation and other such like are week called ‘No Signal’ because Shaw: “Take care to get what you effort is to be NS’d. When you only that you can’t or shouldn’t go to all (I have no problems generalising your aerial connection is about as “Is the most interesting TV programme you like or you will be forced to like have about 4 hours a week of semi- because you should be studying. So here) a pile of artificial crap retro- strong as a can of cheap cider? Is watch all week calld ‘No Signal’ because your what you get.” Right, I’m off to nars that you have to turn up to, it you don’t go. Then you end up not spectively applied in an attempt to a wet fart about the most your complain about my bathroom fan actually takes concentrated effort to studying and then feeling guilty that analyse something that does not cooker’s extractor fan can handle aerial connection is about as strong as a can again! miss them. That is if you are an Arts you’re not studying and kicking need to be analysed. You reach this before becoming exhausted? of cheap cider?” block student. Hamilton end the labs yourself for not going. This endless stage of insane frustration that you Furthermore, did you actually have are a little longer but a end up losing your temper a functioning one when you moved are paying higher rent than stu- Hall, but how is that possible in similar idea. in the middle of a tutorial. in? dents at other residences (granted, such an atmosphere and environ- So why on So much so that your class Yes, you guessed it some of it is also because of the ment? earth am I doing schols? mates back away from you Einstein, this article is about the good area we are in). However, There is only one solu- Why have I decided to slowly and the tutor looks rapidity to which faults reported to with the exception of our ‘en suite’ do this to myself? I real- like they are about to cry the Trinity Hall Accommodation rooms, in my apartment’s case I ly don’t know. There is because you have called Office are dealt with. Since my don’t think were are massively no logic to it. Why their life’s work an exercise flatmates and I moved in to Trinity benefiting from the added func- would I, a reasonably in pretentious self indul- Hall late last September we have tionality that we are supposed to be sane person voluntarily gence, that is of no rele- made countless fault reports paying for. Therefore, the question take on all this extra vance to reality, completely regarding the state of some of our I am asking is whether we should work, extra study and pointless and an artificial flat’s facilities, mainly concerning be entitled to a refund on some of extra exams? attempt to justify some the kitchen. However, for whatev- our rent. After all, we are expected Is it really worth it? The over-weight over-privileged er reason, many of those faults still to pay for any damage we cause at stress and the pressure judge’s bad day and fit it haven’t been dealt with, despite the the end of the year. Tenants have are immense. The into the magical all power- inspections of Trinity Hall mainte- obligations, but so do landlords. library feels like home. ful common law. nance staff. This might have sound- Your social interaction Yet I keep going. The lure You see, all this stuff ed like the kind of letter a grumpy for the day is the con- Studying for schols can get you down.. of free accommodation on really isn’t a big deal at the begin- old man would write to the local versation in counter . campus, free food, free ning. Believe it or not, you can council, whinging about trivia reserve with the Librarians. It is a guilt. It’s ridiculous, it’s all com- Guinness, grazing rights for my learn to survive without an extrac- such as failing street lights and strange and scary day the first time pletely self inflicted. Maybe it’s just sheep and the title of Scholar is too tor fan. I wasn’t about to jump off overgrown hedgerows. Yes, I did the library staff recognise you. Not because I’m Irish so I’m genetically much for me. I sacrifice my second O’Connell Bridge about it. have some spare time on my hands only that but they know your name. obliged to feel guilty about some- year in college for this archaic tradi- However, when considering that when I wrote this. However, ladies Not just because it has just flashed thing. We can’t just be happy, there tion and so put myself through hell. we receive constant reminders that and gentlemen of Trinity Hall, this up on the screen in front of them but always has to be something. Will I regret it? I don’t we will be fined at the end of the is our living environment and it is they actually know it. Then there is the actual know. Ask me next month. I’ll be the year for having posters on our our duty to make our presence felt There are few sounds study itself. Once you do start it is person curled up under a duvet cry- walls, or be swiftly reprimanded other than just the occasional more depressing and simultaneously easier. You stop feeling so guilty but ing and cursing in a truly melodra- for making excess noise or having alleged singing and shouting on joyous then the bell for library clos- fear replaces that emotion. You matic Shakespearean style because I parties, then it starts to become Temple Road. ing on a Friday night. Never mind a realise how little you know about didn’t even get exemptions. one. That’s because it’s something We’ve all being waiting Your oven shouldn’t look like this. Friday night, it’s a horrible sound anything. You read these countless

Comments, Tips, Hate-mail to: [email protected]. Please feel free to send comment or opinion articles to the same address. All views expressed in the Comment & Opinion section are those of the authors of the individual articles and not those of Trinity News Tuesday March 7th, 2006 21 Trinity News LETTERS

every county in Ireland, not just standards set by the GAA, an believe that the attitude shown cern over the number of bike Opening up of the bureaucrats at Croke Park. amateur organisation that is set- on campus during SHAG thefts that appear to occur on Croke Park ting all the standards for the week, has strong echoes of the campus. I personally have had a Trinity News Claims of prejudice are also professionals' to follow. The aforementioned cartoons. By number of bikes taken for misguided. It seems a little hyp- sporting bodies should be grate- this I mean that the way in instance. ocritical to me that the writer of ful to the GAA for accommo- which condoms are being freely EST. 1947 Sir, the said article, who comes dating them for their shortcom- distributed, and more impor- While in one sense this is what across strongly as primarily a ings, and give thanks that they tantly brought to the public's you would expect in a city cen- rugby fan, given the sport's fail- don't have to suffer the indigni- attention, is very similar to the tre location, the preence of The article in the 24th January ure to embrace every sector of ty of playing 'home' internation- attitude shown by the cartoons. security guards all around cam- Riots Come to Dublin edition of Trinity News on the society and its exclusivity to als in Britain. pus and the high number of opening of Croke Park to other certain schools and renowned This clearly flies in the face of bikes in certain places about sports contained some spurious rugby strongholds. The G.A.A. Yours truly, the Church's opinion, and made campus would, you would Saturday 25th February saw Dublin city centre allegations about the G.A.A. reaches out to every parish in a mockery of their beliefs, in assume, ensure some added descend into a brief period of lawlessness that came which i would like to redress. the land and has been the single Shane McVeigh, SF Law the same way as the cartoons safety. This often does not seem as a massive shock to many people. The looting and Firstly, to say that the maintain- biggest provider of sporting Secretary Trinity College GFC did to the Muslims. to be the case however. ing of Croke Park exclusively rioting that followed protests against the ‘Love recreation in Ireland for over a for Gaelic Games represented a century. I respect the need for sexual While it would seem to be rela- ’ march extended as far as Merrion Square and 'sorry and xenophobic chapter health and guidance. However, tively safe to leave a bike in the saw college close down as cars were burnt out along in Irish sport' is absurd. The Lastly, to say that football and Islamic to so plainly insult the beliefs of locked campus overnight, it is College’s walls on Nassau Street. While this behav- G.A.A. kept Croke Park to will find new popularity the Catholic Church (as well as in the day that more could be iour must be condemned for the horrible and unac- themselves for several reasons, if they link themselves to soccer others), is entirely unnecessary done. Many bike thefts occur in mainly to ensure that they don't Protests and ceptable occasion that it was, more serious issues and rugby is simply outrageous. and avoidable. broad daylight or in the early lose a generation of youngsters Take a look at the domestic sit- SHAG Week evening. These thefts could need to be looked at than purely a police . to rival sports, by allowing uation in both codes. Since Perhaps this insult seems trivial surely be avoided if a concerted what is essentially rival prod- went professional compared to that of the car- effort was made to clamp down When rioting recently broke out in News Orleans and ucts to be sold on what is essen- in 1995 the domestic league has toons, yet it is an insult on these crimes. Sir, Paris the Irish media were only too willing to suggest tially our shelves. Even before fallen apart, and has in fact nonetheless. I think that per- that, during the years of 'the it had occured due to societal breakdown. In the gone backwards since the intro- haps people should consider Given this high number of ban', the reasons why the duction of pay for play. The others more carefully before cyclists on campus,college Firstly, I must say that I am dis- aftermath of Dublin’s own riots however the public G.A.A kept members of the Eircom league is not much bet- they decide to exercise their should ensure proper safety gusted by the events concerning and the press have been quick to blame local ‘hooli- crown forces out of the associa- ter, and produces only a handful rights. After all, with rights facilities for those who choose the Islamic protests, and their gans’ but slow to raise more serious questions of tion was not due to xenophobia, of players who will ever repre- come responsibilities. to cycle in. To not do so not cause: the now infamous car- but merely to keep out spies sent the country, and those who only encourages crime, but dis- Celtic Tiger Ireland. If these questions are so pivotal toons in various newspapers. from the garrison and informers do will get a run out in a friend- Yours sincerely, courages cycling. Given the to France and the United States then why not here? During SHAG week however, I who worked in Dublin Castle. ly at best. Soccer and rugby are increasing numbers of people noticed another similar situa- everything the GAA doesn't Stephen Britton suffering from health problems tion, but without the protests. The answer may be that society does not wish to see Secondly, the G.A.A. did not want to be; Full of overpaid today, college should feel itself as collectively guilty for the events that took open the doors of Croke Park mercenaries and dominated by obliged to provide facilities for Many people are aware of the after a 'Government bribe'. We corporations rather being run those who wish to stay in shape place. Are there not questions to be asked of the stance of the Catholic Church are entitled to a Eur 60m grant by grassroots members. through cycling to college. sources of Irish identity being put forward by our from the State as much as any on various issues. However, the Bike Theft on one that I refer to is their stance businesses, politicians, media and others in powerful other sporting organisation is, Another thing which the GAA Yours, on condoms. They firmly con- Campus positions? In a society which prides itself on a loose, being the biggest there is on the doesn't desire is homelessness, demn the use of any artificial often uninformed nationalism, and an emphasis on island. Also, it doesn't matter a fate that has befallen its rival John Deenan, contraceptives, as they believe how much money the codes. Had the IRFU and the JS Science material wealth and goods is it any surprised that this that they destroy the process of Sir, Government gives us, the FAI not been lining the pockets mix of anger and looting would break out amongst creation, and its divine nature. changing of any G.A.A. rule of their players, maybe then Now, regardless of any person- the disaffected? Attacking those who took part but can only be passed in annual they could maintain the high not the underlying social problems will only end in Congress, which is voted on by al stance on such an issue, I do I am writing to express my con- further problems. Issue 7 March 7th, 2006 Serious questions also have to be raised however Trinity News Volume 58 over the decision to allow ‘Love Ulster’ to march to begin with. Just a cursory glance of their website will Editor: Andrew Payne Intern’al Students: Alesya Krit TNT Team [email protected] [email protected] Politics: Derek Owens show the parallel exclusive Unionist identity being Deputy Editor: Jonathan Drennan Music: Steven Clarke [email protected] preached. While this in places may seem amusing [email protected] [email protected] Books: Chloe Sanderson & Klara Kubiak (such as the suggestion made on the site’s forums of TNT Editor: Christine Bohan Cinema: Rebecca Jackson [email protected], [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Theatre Editor: David Lydon RTE brainwashing the Republic’s youth through not Photography: Karina Finegan Alves& Cian Kennedy Travel: Alix O’Neill [email protected] displaying the border on weather forcasts), the under- [email protected], [email protected] [email protected] Fashion Editor: Carmen Bryce lying tribalism is the same as that shown by the Editorial Team SU & Societies Enda Hargaden [email protected] News: John Lavelle [email protected] Television Editor: Hannah Scally Dublin rioters. These identities need to be challenged [email protected] Food & Drink: Rosie Gogan-Keogh [email protected] at all levels for our country to progress. Assistant News: Una Faulkner [email protected] Photographs: Cian Kennedy [email protected] Careers: Myles Gutkin News Feature: Gearoid O’Rourke [email protected] All serious complaints can be made to: [email protected] Science: Oliver North National: Anne Marie Ryan [email protected] Trinity News [email protected] Gaeilge: Paul Mulville DU Publications Trinity News International: Doaa Baker [email protected] 2nd Floor [email protected] Sport Features: Theo O’Donnell House 6 Features: Liz Johnson [email protected] Trinity College Giveaway [email protected] Sport: Peter Henry Dublin 2 Comment: Patricia Van de Velde [email protected] [email protected] Phone +353 1 608 2335 Win 2 tickets to Oxegen! Photograph of the Fortnight

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by Friday 10th March at 6pm Riot police prepare themselves for battle at the back of Trinity, following the violent scenes that met the planned Love Ulster march through the city centre last week Photo: Padraic Ryan 22 Tuesday March 7th, 2006 Eagarthóir na Gaeilge: Pól Ó Maoilmhíchil GAEILGE Trinity News An Chíréib – Cad ba chúis leis? nach raibh ag lorg ach trioblóid. Ursala Ní Shionnan Ghoid siad earraí ó siopaí ar Sráid Uí Chonaill, chuir siad carranna trí Bhí sráid Uí Chonaill scriosta i thine agus bhris siad fuinneoga. ndiaidh an chíréib a tharla an Bhí an máirseáil ar an Sathairn seo caite. Ach na ceis- Sathairn mar chúis do cuid maith teanna atá i mbéal gach duine ná daoine teacht amach agus a sárú a cé a bhí bainteach leis an gcíréib? thaispeáint. Tá sé soiléir nach Agus cén fáth? An ionsaí seicteach bhfuil daoine ó mBaile Átha Cliath a bhí ann? réidh cur suas leis an méid a bhí ar Thóg gach cineál duine náisiúnaithe ón tuaisceart cur suas páirt sa chíréib i mBaile Átha le ar feadh na blianta. Nílim ag Cliath an deireadh seachtain seo cosaint an chíréib ach ní fhi- caite. Bhí poblachtánaigh, gnáth afraíonn daoine cén fáth. Tá Dubs, andúiligh drugaí agus “Love Ulster” ag iarraidh teacht ar díthreabhaigh ann. An chúis a bhí ais ar ball, an gceart dóibh? ag na poblachtaigh ná gur creid Thosaigh an Evening siad gur eagraigh na Herald ag cur pictiúirí i gcló ag hAontachtaithe an máirseáil chun iarraidh feachtas “name and saoránaigh Baile Átha Cliath a shame” a thosnú. Bhí scairfeanna chur le cuthach. Ceist eile ná dá agus caipíní ar chuid maith de na mba rud é go raibh náisiúnaithe ag daoine bhí ag baint páirteach, ach máirseáil tríd oirthear Bhéal is dócha gur thiteadar astu de réir Feirste an gcuirfidh na mar a lean cúrsaí ar aghaidh. hAontachtaithe ansin suas leis? Maille le sin, bhí daoine ar an Nach bhfuil an ceart ag gach duine suíomh idirlíne “www.politics.ie” máirseáil ach más máirseáil grío- ag iarraidh feachtas mar sin a thos- saitheach é an féidir é a chosaint? nú.. Ach i ndeireadh na dála, sin Cad mar gheall ar na an jab atá ag na húdarais. gnáth Dubs, na handúiligh drugaí Ag caint faoi na agus na díthreabhaigh? Cén fáth a húdaráis, tá ceisteanna á chur ar an raibh siadsan ann ag ionsaí ar na Aire Dlí agus Cirt, Comhionnanais Gardaí? Tá sé soiléir nach bhfuil agus Athchóraithe Dlí maidir leis meas ag mórán daoine ar na an máirseáil. An cheart dó éirí as Gardaí. An mothaíonn daoine mar gheall ar na heachtraí a tharla. idh nach bhfuil meas ag na Gardaí ar Tá roinnt polatóirí ag cur an cheist na daoine? Cinnte bhí daoine ann sin, ach an mbeidh toradh leis? Na GardaТ amuigh ar shrЗideanna na cathrach ag iarraidh lucht na cТrОibe a chur faoi chos an Sathairn seo caite Cath na Cathrach – Ar tharla sé theanna?

Breandán Ó caidreamh idir Éire agus Sasana go Ni féidir a shéanadh go talamh i bpléascadh foréigin, bhfuil an-mheas ag gach protastú- Beaglaoich caidreamh a bhí ag dul i bhfeabhas nach agus gach caitliceach freisin Is cuimhin linn go léir an lá úd sin le blianta anuas. don Gharda Síochána agus an íar- i sa bhliain 1995. Anois, roinnt blianta ina racht a rinne siad chun síocháin a Bhí David Kelly díreach tar éis cúl dhiaidh sin, tá ár bpriomhchathair fháil, ach ón soicind a chaitheadh álainn a fháil agus chuaigh las- agus ár dtír i staid díchreidhimh. Is an chéad buidéal chailleamar ár racha áthasacha trí cheartlar gach ar a maithe leo féin a rinne na gcéannacht náisiúnta. Leis sin croí Éireannach. Bhí seans ann go daoine an gníomh dodhearmadta d'fhill an méid sin náire ar ais i mbéadh bua againn in aghaidh an uafásach ar na sráideanna i mBaile ngach croí soineanta. tsean-namhaid don chéad uair ón Átha Cliath. Ach an uair seo ní Titeadh go leor deora la draíocht sin i Stuttgart sa bhliain Sasanaigh atá i gceist ar chor ar tráthnona Dé Sathairn, ní hamháin 1988. bith ach ár gcomhshaoránaigh ar sráideanna na cathrach, ach ar Ach, mar is gnách le féin, roinnt mór le geansaí glasa nó fud an oileáin beag seo. gach dea-rud, tháinig deireadh éadaí cheilteacha á chaitheamh Ag féachaint air na pic- grod leis an gceiliúradh, agus ina orthu. tiúirí a bhfuaireamar ar an teilifís, áit líon ár súile le radharcanna Bhi sé i gceist ag gach baineadh geit asainn. Samhlaigh uafásacha. D'athraigh cluiche uile amadán dóibh "cleacht" a cad a smaoinigh lucht an cháirdiúil go dtromluí idirnáisiúnta mhúineadh do na hAontachtaí a domhainn mhóir faoi. Na tuar- níos tapa ná titim báisti i dTír tháinig ón dTuaisceart. Ní raibh ieasóirí a bhí le teacht ó Meairiceá Chonaill. siad ach tar éis cos a chur ar an dta- agus na háiteanna eile, an dtioc- Cháin an domhan go léir, lamh agus iad thar a bheith sásta faidh siad anois? Inseoidh an agus go háirithe muintir na hÉire- lena gcuid oibre. Fuair siad an amsir, mar a deir an té. ann, na n-eachtraí an oíche sin. bhua a bhí ag taisteáil uathu agus Bhris na Gall a lán suíocháin sa iad ar a mbealach abhaile le staid, gortaíodh an iomarca gardaí miongháire ar gach aghaigh CОn barЬil a mbeadh ag Jim Larkin foir cad a thalrla ar an Satharn seo caite? agus lucht sacair, agus thit an Aontachta. Cúpla Amhráin Lá Fhéile Phadraig 2006 –Borradh Eile Gaeilge . Fiona Heddarman An gceapann tú gur cineál frithb- An cuimhim leat na hamhráin seo a d’fhoghlamar ar scoil iad? huaic e La Féile Naoimh Phádraig? An chéad uair eile atá tú ag cóisir agus séisiúin á thosnú, nach An gcaitheann tú an lá i do theach tabhairne áitiúil ag cur amú do feidir leat amhrán Gaelach mar seo a chanadh: chuid airgid? No fiú (agus níos measa) an dtéann tú ag ól le do Bríd Óg Ní Mháille 'S í ag fear eile pósta Cén mhaith dom é - ní bheidh me chairde i bpáirc éigin nó ar shráide Is gan í bheith liom ann na cathrach? Na bíodh náire ort Is a Bhríd Óg Ní Mháille faoi. Rinneamar go léir é, nuair a 'S tú d'fhág mo chroí cráite Tá mo chleamhnas Curfá: bhíomar inár déagóirí. 'S chuir tú arraingeacha a’ bháis déanta: A mháithrín, an ligfidh tú chun Caithfidh mé a rá nach trí cheartlár mo chroí aonaigh mé? (x3) ndéanaim aon rud simiúil ar La A mhúirnín é, ná héiligh é. Fhéile Phadraig raimh. Bhuel, Tá na mílte fear i ngrá Tá mo chleamhnas déanta ó athrú seachas nuair a bhí mé óg, chuaigh Le d'éadan ciúin náireach aréir Níl tú a deich nó a haondéag fós mé go dtí an pharáid ach ní raibh sé Is go dtug tú barr breáchtacht' S'ní mó ná go dtaithnoínn an (x3) go maith in aon chor. Bhí me ró-óg Ar Thír Oirghiall más fíor bhean adaí liom fein Nuair a bheidh tu trídeag, beidh tú agus bhíodh mé tuirseach agus ní Níl ní ar bith is áille Ach fágfaidh mé i mo dhiaidh í mór raibh me i mo sheasamh ach ar Ná'n ghealach os cionn a' tsáile 'gus imeoidh mé liom fein feadh cúpla nóimead. Ina theannta Ná bláth bán na n-airne Ar fud na gcoillte craobhach Táimse i ngra le gréansaí bróg le sin bhí duine ard i gcónai ina Bíos ag fás ar an droigheann Shiúil mise thoir agus shiúil mise (x3) sheasamh ós mo chomhair. Bhí me Ó siúd mar bíos mo ghrá-sa thiar. Mar bhfaighe mé é ní bheidh me a dul amú ansin ach mo phointe Níos trilsí le breáchtacht Shiúil mise Corcaigh 'gus sráide beo anseo, dá mbeadh na cuimhnaí Béilín meala na háilleachta' Bh'l'Áth Cliath chéanna agat agus gur mhaith leat Nach ndearna riamh claon Ach macasamhail mo chailín deas B'fhearr liom féin mo ghréasaí rud éigin corraitheach agus iontach Is buachaill deas óg mé ni fhaca mise riamh. bróg (x3) a dhéanamh i mbliana, caithfidh tú 'Tá triall chun mo phósta 'Sí an bhean dubh a d’fhág mo Ná oifigeach airm gona lásaí óir freatal ar‘St. Patrick’s Day Festival 'S ní buan i bhfad beo mé chroí cráite briomhar, ruthaitheach is lán de Dé Céadaoin: Mhuirfeann 2006’. Mura bhfaighidh mé mo mhian D'éirigh me ar maidin dhá uair fuinneamh. *GE Money Oíche. *Imeacht don Dé Satharn: Bhunaigh an rialtas an A chuisle is a stóirín roimh an lá Gealltear go mbeidh chlann- Jeanie Johnston, is feidir An Lá Gaelach,Comedy circus, ‘St.Patrick’s Festival’ i Samhain Déan réidh agus bí romhamsa 'gus fuair me litir ó mo mhíle ghrá tréimhse leathan imeachtaí do gach leat dul ar an mbád ag ndeachaigh Terrafolk. 1995. Mhair an fleá se ar feadh trí Cionn deireanach den Domhnach Chuala mé an smoilín 's an lon- duine ar siúl i rith na laethanta. chuig Meiriceá 150 blianta ó shin Dé Domhnach: laethanta agus d’éirigh se go han- Ar Bhóithrín Dhroim Sliabh dubh a’ rá Beidh na himeachtaí seo a tarlú i tar éis an Ghorta Mór. Denny big day out, 40 shades of mhaith. I mbliana, beidh sé ar siúl Is tuirseach 's brónach Gur eileagh mo ghrá thar sáile lár na cathrach. Déardaoin: green, city side up A chaithimse an Domhnach ar feadh ceithre laethanta agus Seo sámpla de na chineál *Margadh i Wolfetone Park Mo hata i mo dhorn ceaptar go mbeadh 1.2 milliún imeachtí a bheas ar siúl ón 15ú (Dé *Cahill & Hayes. Vicar St- cineál : 'S mé ag osnaíl go trom Beidh Aonach Amárach daoine ag freastal ar an fleánna. Is Céadaoin) de mhí an Mhárta go dti ceol tradisúinta a bhfuil difiriúl Tuilleadh Eolais: 'S mé ag amharc ar na bóithre é aidhm atá ag na héagraithe tallan an 19u lá (Dé Domhnach) de agus tá snagceol ina measc. www.stpatricksday.ie 'Mbíonn mo ghrá-sa ag gabhail Beidh aonach amárach i gcontae sa tíre seo agus cultúr na tíre a chur Mhárta i gcroílár Chathair Bhaile Dé hAoine: Lá Fhéile Phádraig: ann an Chláir (x3) in úil dúinn i dtaispeáintas Atha Cliath. Paráid agus Céili Mór ar gCearnóg Tuesday March 7th, 2006 International Students Editor: Alesya Krit 23 Trinity News International Students Parce qu’étudier rime aussi avec s’associer Is a university a place to study or a place to live? Audrey Gonthier suggests that being ton placard (???) ont tous leur mot à dire. Résultat : tu te transformes a student is far from just reading some boring books in a cold library: it is most of all dis- en collectionneur de cartes de covering new things, new people. In order not to be lost in the anonymity of the mass of membres dont tu n’utiliseras pas la moitié (en fait, sûrement pas plus the students, societies give you a chance to become an actor and create history. de cinq) et tu penses à tous les « Pour que les hommes restent boîte qui se trouve sur le long tive dans les universités françaises le cadre associatif est l’opportunité sandwiches que tu aurais pu civilisés ou le deviennent, il faut bureau. Je reviens à mon article), est plus que réduite et cela pour une de rencontrer des personnes dont manger (ou les Guinness que tu que parmi eux, l’art de s’associer se nul doute que vous vous souvenez simple raison : les facultés sont nous n’aurions probablement aurais pu boire) avec tous les trois développe et se perfectionne, dans tous sans exception de la Freshers plus des lieux d’étude que des lieux jamais fait la connaissance euros que tu as déboursé. le même rapport que l’égalité des autrement, dans mon cas ça été Autrement dit, au moment du choix, sois réaliste, ça t’évitera une conditions s’accroît ». C’est beau “Pour que les hommes restent civilisés ou le également l’occasion de découvrir hein ? Ce n’est pas de moi (qui a une nouvelle passion. Et là on dit période d’errance associative. dit poils aux bras ?!) mais de deviennent, il faut que parmi eux, l’art de merci qui ? Merci Trinity et la Ainsi, la vie étudiante à Tocqueville dans La démocratie en s’associer se développe et se perfectionne…” chorale society. Si de par mon Trinity College recèle une particu- Amérique, ouvrage essentiel pour expérience je ne peux vous parler larité en ce que le rôle des associa- toute personne qui veut parler, ou à week et des multitudes de stands de vie. Tu y vas, tu prends tes cours que de la chorale, je suis certaine tions y a une importance clef. défaut sciences-pipoter, sur le rôle qui représentaient autant d’associa- (c’est optionnel, tu peux aussi qu’il en va de même pour de multi- Aussi, elles représentent un pas- des associations. Néanmoins, toute tions. En ce qui me concerne, bien seulement faire « acte de ples autres associations, après c’est sage obligatoire (enfin, ça, c’est ce autre référence à un illustre penseur que mon Ecole renferme quelques présence), tu fumes une cigarette à vous de vous jeter à l’eau. C’est que je pense) pour tout visiting stu- et utilisation de grille de lecture associations qui marchent plutôt avec ton café à la cafétéria (c’est la dents qui trouvera surement en sciences politiques s’arrêtent ici. bien et organisent des évènements clope sociale), et tu t’en vas t’é- Pour toi lecteur, je vais partager (organisations de soirées, de voy- clater dehors, loin de cet endroit “Incapable de choisir, tu es vulnérable et tu mon expérience des associations de ages, des dégustations…), c’est plus ou moins impersonnel. écoutes tout le monde. Résultat : tu te trans- Trinity College et qui sait, t’éviter sans commune mesure avec ce A Trinity, il semble formes en collectionneur de cartes de mem- de commettre quelques erreurs si tu qu’il se passe à ici a Trinity, tant clairement que ce soit le contraire, viens de débarquer à Trinity pour d’un point de vue du nombre d’as- si bien que parfois, je me retrouve à bres dont tu n’utiliseras pas la moitié.” Hilary Term. sociations (le chiffre exacte aller au College…pour chanter. S’il Pour ceux qui sont ici m’échappe totalement) et de leur est certain que participer régulière- alors que vient le terrible moment elles un moyen de ne pas se perdre depuis le début de l’année scolaire dynamisme. Il faut aussi avouer ment (et là, j’insiste tout partic- du choix et comme l’a dit un jour dans l’anonymat de la masse des et savent maintenant comment que le nombre d’étudiants est loin ulièrement sur le « régulièrement un Homme « trop de choix, tue le étudiants qui errent dans les emprunter un livre qui se trouve à d’être le même. Au risque de », car si c’est seulement pour pren- choix ». couloirs du College, et pour une la Santry (si non, prenez une petite généraliser, et là mea culpa pour dre sa carte et faire « et oh, j’suis là Incapable de choisir, tu fois, il cessera d’être spectateur de fiche bleue à l’entrée principale, ceux qui ont une expérience dif- » une fois toutes les lunes rouges, es vulnérable et tu écoutes tout le sa vie étudiante au sein de l’univer- remplissez la, et mettez la dans la férente, je pense que la vie associa- ça ne sert à rien) à une activité dans monde. Tes ami(e)s, tes parents, sité, et il commencera à en être un acteur. De Kunst van het Verenigingsleve Lieke Boersma is convinced that ‘society participation’ is a life on its own: It takes seven instead of four years to get a degree, but for the rest of your life you will be convinced, that you had the best time ever: drinking warm beer and wearing expensive clothes Verenigingen in Nederland zijn werd het toch wel een beetje zwaar. de roeispanen zitten daarom ter heel anders dan hier in Ierland. In Ik dacht: verenigingen staan gelijk hoogte van mijn neus in plaats van Utrecht, waar ik vandaan kom is aan feestjes en niet zes keer per mijn buik waar ze eigenlijk moeten het verplicht om aan zware ont- week om zeven uur opstaan om in zitten. Bovendien liet ik om een of groeningen deel te nemen voor dat je ‘erbij’ hoort. Dat betekent onder “Het resultaat is ook vaak dat men in plaats andere een week niet slapen, alco- van vier jaar een luttele zeven jaar over zijn hol drinken, in de gracht zwemmen (ja dat is vies en nee het water is studie doet, maar dan heb je wel de beste tijd niet verwarmd) en gras eten. Als van je leven: warm bier drinken in dure gala beloning mag je heel veel geld kleding.” betalen aan deze vereniging en nog meer alcohol drinken. de kou te gaan dobberen in bootjes andere obscure reden mijn schoe- Verenigingsmensen wonen alle- met gaten erin. Ja er zaten gaten in nen zo nu en dan in het water maal in hetzelfde huis en gaan onze boten, want er zijn stenen in vallen, zodat ik altijd soppend in eigenlijk met niemand anders om. de Liffey en wij konden nog niet zo mijn schoenen naar huis moest. Het resultaat is ook vaak dat men in goed sturen. Mijn grootste avontu- De meiden van de plaats van vier jaar een luttele ur was toen we bijna in de sluis vereniging waren allemaal heel erg sport op zich en ik moet nog uitvin- zeven jaar over zijn studie doet, terecht kwamen. Het meisje achter aardig en als je mensen wil ont- den hoe je die moet beoefenen. maar dan heb je wel de beste tijd mij schreeuwde omdat ze bang was moeten kan ik het dus sterk aan- Petje af voor de genen die nog In the next issue we will try to find out about your overall emo- van je leven: warm bier drinken in en het meisje voor mij schreeuwde raden om bij een vereniging te steeds elke morgen dapper de tions about the 2005-2006 experience. So if you would like to share dure gala kleding. tegen haar omdat ze boos was. De gaan. We hebben ook wel een paar Liffey trotseren. Uit mijn vergelijk- In het begin van het jaar coach had zijn sokken en schoenen feestjes gehad en die waren erg end warenonderzoek komt echter some impressions or if you have a nice story to tell us, please mail to toen ik net aan Trinity begon leek al uit en was klaar om in het water leuk. Van hen heb ik alle drankspel- wel dat de verenigingen van Trinity [email protected] and leave your article at the start of Trinity Term. If any het me een goed plan om een te springen. We konden net op tijd letjes geleerd dus ik heb er toch nog beter zijn dan die in Utrecht, al is vereniging uit te proberen omdat ik een boom vast grijpen; ik ben nog erg veel positieve en nuttige dingen het maar omdat ze een stuk goed- questions occur to you, please don’t hesitate to contact. wel eens wat Ieren wilde leren ken- nooit zo blij geweest om een boom aan over gehouden. Ik ben echter koper zijn en je, als je even doorzet Take care, nen. Ik sloot mij aan bij de roeiv- te zien. Uiteindelijk blijkt dat tot de conclusie gekomen dat ik er ook nog een goede conditie aan ereniging. Dat begon allemaal heel roeien toch niet echt voor mij is niet ben weggelegd voor het overhoudt. Alesya Krit. leuk en aardig, maar na een tijdje weggelegd. Ik ben nogal klein en verenigingsleven; het is een hele Trinity Publications AGM Tuesday 7th March 7.30pm Hist Conversation Room All welcome to attend and meet next year’s editors! 24 Tuesday 7th March, 2006 Sports Features Editor: Theo O’Donnell & Connel McKenna SPORTS FEATURES Trinity News Contepomi Eyes Toulouse Cillian Ó Conchúir meets Felipe Contepomi, Leinster’s Latin General, and finds him excited by the upcomig clash with Europe’s defending Champions

When Leinster take the field brought in to replace Munster option for me, especially for my a qualifying tournament for the against Toulouse at the Stade bound Declan Kidney last summer, studies and playing in a good Heineken Cup. "The qualification Municipal on April 1st, they will be but has dramatically changed team." for Europe has to come from the relying heavily on the influence Leinster's style of play. A new addition to the Celtic League. That won't make and creativity of Felipe Contepomi. "Leinster has been family, in baby daughter Catalina, many teams joke about it. If you "I think we got the toughest team, changing coaches for the last few playing professional rugby with say the first six Celtic League but if you want to win a tournament years. Every coach has their own Leinster and studying to be a sur- places are for the Heineken Cup, you have to beat everyone," stated way of play, likes of players, so I geon is a testament of his determi- they will take it seriously week in the Leinster No 10. Back in 2004, think it's difficult for players to nation. "I try hard. I'm not the best week out." when he swapped Bristol for keep changing their style. With one in the class. I don't have any Welsh captain, Gareth Leinster no one could have envis- Thomas will miss the April 1st aged him having such an impact. “Contepomi has become as much of a key clash having sustained damage to Problems on and off the player in Argentina’s side as the legendary an artery in his neck, but there is field marred his first seasons at Hugo Porta” plenty of cover as the champions Leinster. "In my first year that I aim for their fourth Heineken Cup arrived I had this administration final in a row, in Cardiff on trouble," began the Argentinean new coaches there are new oppor- medals or any prizes. It's not all Saturday 20 May. out-half. "Then I got a bad neck tunities. With Declan, definitely I about that. There are many things "It's nearly a dream team injury and when I was coming back was not one of his preferred play- that will make you a good doctor. (Toulouse), but I think Yannick I didn't play much with Declan ers. He didn't give me many oppor- One of them is your professional Jauzion is on form. He is one of the Kidney. He really didn't rate me as tunities. With Cheika, I can't com- behaviour and having to perform in best, if not the best centre in the a player. So definitely this year, plain. The rugby style he likes to two jobs, studying medicine and Europe, and it will be good to see with nearly two years injury free play suits me because I think it's playing rugby. Its professional him playing in front of O' Driscoll and having time on the pitch I feel the way rugby should be played behaviour and you develop those and D'Arcy. Jauzion and Fritz more comfortable." and the way I like to play rugby." skills as well as practice them. against O' Driscoll and D'Arcy will The administrative error When Bristol and the Perhaps you won't go out frequent- be one of the best clashes ever," saw Contepomi banned for six English Premiership came calling, ly or you won't have many days off, exclaims the 31-year old games, which seemed harsh given Contepomi seized the opportunity. but its part of what you've chosen." Argentine. that he had no involvement in the "It came to a point when I was in The lack of importance Toulouse boast the best Felipe in action for his native Argentina original problem. "We all make fourth year of Medicine and I said given to the Celtic League has been squad in the tournament. With because they can't concentrate or in the front five. Unfortunately pressure them. I would like to see errors. It's human, but I was sur- if I don't go now I will never go. seen by many as one of the reasons injured, Clément pressure will come on them," says backs take all the credit, but I what Toulouse can do if someone prised that I was banned for six The last thing I wanted was to why Irish, Welsh and Scottish clubs Poitrenaud, Cédric Haymans could Contepomi who, bar one nightmare always say that credit is due for the attacks them. We will see. If we can games and people who punch or regret something when I'm older are not on the same level as their be recalled to the starting line-up. against Glasgow, has been impec- front five. When the front five play perform on the day you never stamp are banned for three or four because you had the opportunity English and French counterparts, If Leinster are to triumph over the cable with the boot this year. well, we play well." know." games. I did nothing wrong. I was but didn't take it. I went for one and Contepomi is adamant that it French Giants, the backline of "I think the two teams paying the price for something that year, I stayed for three at Bristol has to change. "Europe is not about It seems that Contepomi relishes are similar in the way that they I didn't do wrong. It's ridiculous. I and this is my third season here." turning up on the day with good “Toulouse are not very used to playing teams big games. There's certainly no want to a fast game, entertaining can't understand the other part of He might well have been players. You are playing against that really attack and pressure them.” bigger game in Europe than and complete. There could be some the law, blaming a player that has- playing for the red of Toulouse, in teams that are playing week in Toulouse in France, and as far as similarities between Toulouse and n't done anything wrong for six next month's game had he decided week out in a very high pressure His points record for the Argentinian is concerned, Leinster. But it's not about us copy- games." to opt for France when his time at environment like the Guinness Xavier Garbajosa, Vincent Ckerc Leinster this year has been key to Leinster's best form of defence is ing them or them copying us. It's Toulouse, under Coach Bristol was at its end. "I considered Premiership or France. If you don't Florian Fritz and Yannick Jauzion their success, but Contepomi states attack. "It is a big game because it's about each team trying to play Guy Noves, will go into the game that, (joining a Top 14 French side) create that environment for your- will certainly have to be contained. that for Leinster to defeat Toulouse, the quarter-final of the Heineken quick and dynamic rugby. as slight favourites which should but I wanted to go back to my stud- self, like with the Celtic League, A lot will also depend on which the Irish forwards must beat their Cup. I can't remember when they Hopefully we can perform and the suit Michael Cheika's team. Noves ies. I was even considering going it's very difficult that you will turn Frédéric Michalak will line-up in opponents in the battle up front. last lost at home in the Heineken result will look after itself," con- has been with the French club for back home, but Leinster came. I up one day and say I want to beat the Stade Municipal, whose kick- "The key is in the front five. If we Cup. I think Toulouse on their day cludes the Puma's out-half. Don't nearly 13 years guiding Toulouse always say you can't do things for Leicester, Toulouse or Stade ing is often erratic. "Kicking is can get ball going forward, our are the best team in the tournament. be surprised if he has more of a say to a unique Heineken Cup treble in money. Money comes and goes. Francaise." about practice and concentration. backs our good enough, they can Toulouse are not very used to play- in the final score than he lets on. 1996, 2003 and 2005. His Leinster There is no point ruling your life He thinks a solution There are loads of good kickers, run and score. Rugby is won or lost ing teams that really attack and counterpart, Michael Cheika was around money. Leinster was a good would be use the Celtic League as then they that can't kick on the day Ugly Diving Is Ruining Beautiful Game

Connel McKenna Children learn through observation agers who go against this more than one look at contentious so to speak. However, cleansing success. If managers thought they Dutch winger has shown. Moral and repetition; it has long been deplorable grain. City man- incidents, for example where it is the sport of this disease would be could lose players for matches to and sporting attitudes though, can Diving, or 'Simulation' as those argued that the cheating they see on ager Damien Richardson reflected not certain whether a player tripped substantially beneficial, even in diving, they would greatly discour- greatly impress upon the psyche of within the game sometimes call it, Match of the Day they will recreate on Sunday night upon his delight over thin air or merely accentuated monetary terms (if all else fails, let age it. They may not even need to, children, the players of the future, has seemingly reached epidemic on a Monday lunchtime in the play- that he and his team had managed a fall caused by physical contact. In the guilty players pay for the sys- given the desire of the players to and it is for this reason that they proportions within football. Those ground. Don't dismiss this argu- to win the Eircom League last sea- the case of the former, the ban is tem through fining them). All the play. They will be almost afraid to must not allow their campaign to on the terraces have long had ment as mere 'think of the children' son whilst "upholding the dignity enforced, regardless of whether the necessary technology is already in fall - they will at last stay on their become in time, a token gesture. enough, and it seems their strength moralising, for a new generation of of the game uppermost in our referee brandished a card. If a place, and I find it difficult to feet. Its tone must be maintained if it is of ill-feeling has now filtered injury-feigners will continue to minds." That Richardson had to player is given a second yellow believe that a decrease in 'simula- The implementation of to be taken seriously. Having start- through to the press box. erode the game's reputation, and wait thirty years for a league title card for a dive and is therefore sub- tion' would not be evident to fans such a scheme is the aim behind ed this honourable campaign, The The recent London therefore, appeal. makes his philosophy all the more ject to a ban anyway, add another within weeks of its implementa- The London Times' campaign. London Times now owes football Times campaign, based around the So, Messrs Robben, admirable. Admirable too is The game to it in any case. tion. I believe it could almost Those behind it are not naïve fans its commitment to it. With publication of an anti-diving poster Reyes, Drogba, Deco and Messi, London Times' campaign, but I fear Such a scheme has obvi- remove diving from the game with- enough to believe that mere tutting that, who knows what it could (and much anti-diving rhetoric), to consider how your actions have its moral and dignified tone will ous flaws. It would be expensive to in a year. This scheme is a simple and finger-wagging will be enough achieve? free the sport of this infestation has further reaching consequences for alone not be enough to dissuade the administer, and of course, certain one. It is based on threat, but the to prick the conscious of a spoilt perhaps finally given the match- the game you love; or perhaps you rich young men who play the game offences will slip through the net, threat is great enough to make it a young millionaire - as a certain going fan some reassurance that just don't love it enough; perhaps at the top level from continuing to their cat-calls are being listened to. that's the problem. There's no point play-act, so long as it can win them It says much for the way though in arguing that it's all the trophies and please their managers. that racism within football has been fault of those pesky foreigners: Robben's name has per- dealt with by the English F.A. that Gary Neville: sometimes guilty. haps appeared a disproportionate play-acting is now probably the Joe Cole: often guilty. Robbie amount of times in this article (or greatest stench to emanate from a Savage: well, difficult to quantify. perhaps not, depending upon your Premiership ground. While it has Both Michael Owen and Wayne affiliation), but his attitude towards not been entirely successful, the Rooney have during their careers this issue has been an angering dis- 'Kick Racism out of Football' cam- won important penalties by imper- appointment. "I don't want to talk paign of the 1990s provides hope sonating falling timber, and I'm about diving," he recently asserted, that similar widespread condemna- sure I'm not the only one who has going on to comment on the injus- tion and perseverance with this witnessed with a wince, perhaps tice of his treatment at the hands of campaign will return some much- even a silence of denial, Robbie the media. A word of advice, needed sportsmanship to the foot- Keane, and the almighty Duffer Arjen, try not to court sympathy in ball field. unnecessarily muddy their green the near future, you'll find it's in The racism still suffered shirts on occasion. short supply. by players in Italy, Spain the Denial though, is in this Perhaps then it's time to Balkans and elsewhere demon- case acceptance. There are too hit these players where it affects strates though, that the dark side of many people that accept and even their careers most - on the pitch. football is still unfortunately not embrace diving as part of the game. Yellow cards have been shown to restricted to grown men sacrificing Managers are one such group of be an ineffective deterrent (and all their pride for a cheap free-kick, or people. Arsene Wenger's long- too often referees seem bizarrely worse, to gain an unfair numerical range vision takes an unfortunate unwilling to show them to the more advantage for their side. but temporary turn for the worse limp-limbed player), but the idea The football community must take whenever Robert Pires moves into that a dive could be punished with strides to counter racism, but until the penalty area, while Jose a red card is pure folly - that is sure it is eradicated from society it will Mourinho will happily rant about to result in the farcical situation of raise its head in all walks of life, the role of Lionel Messi in Asier players being sent off having actu- sporting or otherwise. John Barnes Del Horno's sending off against ally been fouled. An automatic recently called it "society's prob- Barcelona but ignore Arjen one-match ban, in conjunction with lem," and he was right. Diving is Robben's part in Pepe Reina's at the initial sanction, is a concept football's problem. Stamford Bridge only weeks earli- which, strangely, appears not to Every team seems to er. Can we be sure that these men, have been considered by football's have its divers - and these players and the others in their profession, governing body FIFA - maybe Mr. should be branded as such if are we even scold their guilty players Blatter's mind is still dominated to overcome their poison. The within the privacy of the dressing with the idea of shortening the higher the stakes it seems, the more room? Can we be sure that the female player's skirts. that diving enters into the equation. players respect their team-mates The implementation of This is problematic, given that the any less as a result of their unsport- video evidence panels for this pur- vast majority of tomorrow's stars ing behaviour? I suspect that in pose would remove the inevitabili- are regularly rendered starry-eyed most cases the answer to both ques- ty of yet more blame being laid at “No More Diving,” says the London Times, and all true football lovers should join them in condemning the tions is no. the feet of referees, and would watching the Champions League, blight of show-diving that is destroying soccer’s already modest reputation for fair and honest play. and not the Cup. There are though, man- enable the judicial force to have Sports Features Editors: Theo O’Donnell & Connel McKenna Tuesday March 7th, 2006 25 Trinity News SPORTS FEATURES Scotland take Calcutta Cup in shock result certainly, but they hadn't yet racked of flair and offloads, they then pro- favourites when they take on the Robinson the opportunity to drop Theo O’Donnell up a win. Ireland had played some ceeded to close up shop against ever-improving Italians. The best- the 'indispensable' . incredible rugby to come back England with some play from the case scenario for Ireland would see He's not indispensable, he's use- Getting rid of Ruddock was clearly against France, but they ultimately opposite end of the rugby spec- England beating France this week- less. English rugby pundits a great idea. In a single fortnight, followed pre-match predictions and trum. Not many teams have the end. Brian O'Driscoll's side would describe him as the best chaser of the Welsh Rugby Union has estab- lost by a two-try margin. France ability or conviction to execute then top the table with four wins; restarts in the game. Really? lished itself as one of the most stag- had lost to Scotland, but everyone such radically different game- England, Scotland and France Remember him winning any? geringly inept governing bodies in knows how inconsistent, and, well, plans, so there is certainly some- would follow with three each. Ever? He charges up like a man sport. Gallic the French can be, especial- thing special about the Scots, but What this tournament has possessed, takes out the man in the Any organisation that ly when caught off guard in the first we have yet to see how them truly demonstrated, however, is that air, and gives away a penalty. can mount a dirty tricks campaign match. Wales hadn't managed to perform away from home, as their making predictions is the best way Hardly the most effective tactic. to force its own Grand Slam-win- rediscover last year's confidence, fourteen-man effort against a dis- of making yourself look like a fool. Besides which, England wouldn't ning coach out of his job halfway and England were blindly steam- jointed Welsh side in Cardiff is Any one of the four teams is well have to take so many restarts in the through a tournament deserves a rolling their way into Grand Slam very hard to judge by. capable of winning their two first place if he didn't give away so big poke in the eye. One that then contention with boring ten-man Ireland are also difficult remaining games. Ireland and many penalties for killing the ball, attempts to place the entire burden rugby. to pin down at the moment. They France have both looked like they handling on the floor, dangerous of responsibility on its own players It would now appear that managed to undo a ragged-looking are living on a knife-edge and tackles, and so on. Who is picked at is something quite special indeed. Scotland's victory over France was Welsh side, and they did so with could easily implode if put under eight, Corry or Dallaglio, is too Gareth Thomas' stress-related burst not a flash in the pan. Having some style, but they still don't look the right degree of pressure; at the close to call. blood vessel and impending retire- wheeled out every national hero clinical enough to close out games same time they both have the talent Likewise, Eddie ment from rugby have been the from Rab C Nesbitt to Mel Gibson against more focused opposition. from one to twenty-two to pull out O'Sullivan could do with dropping only regrettable incidents in what before with England at England are keen to re-establish an remarkable performances if they Easterby, who has been strangely has been an incredible tournament. Murrayfield, the Scots had a gen- air of invincibility around 'Fortress can only click together as a team. quiet, and replace him with the No one really expected uine air of confidence about them. Twickenham,' and how better to do England have massive rampaging Johnny O'Connor. This Wales to be able to repeat their suc- They managed to outplay the it than by beating the very side who potential, and also look a few small will give them the greater levels of cess of last year, particularly not English at their own game, making dispelled that myth in the 2004 Six steps away from becoming a win- aggression required to counter the without the likes of their kicks, closing down space, Nations. Ireland will travel to face ning side again, but those steps likes of Jason White when they and , who found taking no risks, keeping it tight, England with some trepidation, and would appear to include at least take on Scotland. As for France, themselves among a long list of dominating the set-piece, etc. Had it is important to remember that one change in the centres and a they need a genuine option at out- injuries facing the already deeply- it not been so tense, it would have they have yet to face Scotland as major tactical overhaul, neither of half. Michalak has all the flair of a Mike Blair has been at the centre of Scotland’s play troubled Welsh management. This been the dullest match since the well. which seem likely unless they force Charlie Hodgson, but none of the Scotland, of all the con- wishing he hadn't kicked Michael season was to see a return to World Cup. Any game in which With four sides (Ireland, their head coach to pull a Ruddock reliability of a Ronan O'Gara. It tenders, look to have the most bal- Owen in the face, as if Scotland French and English dominance in Patterson making his kicks and Ben Scotland, England and France) all and disappear before their next looks distinctly like Bernard anced outfit. On paper Dan Park is had played with fifteen men and Europe while the hosts and defend- Cohen dropping the ball near the level on points with two wins and game. Like Ireland, the balance of Laporte was banking on Yannick hardly the strongest out-half, but beaten Wales they would surely ers of next year's World Cup assert- line are highlights is bound to be on one loss apiece, this tournament is England's back-row seems slightly Jauzion providing his side with a with the likes of Lamont and now be favourites for an overall ed their status as the only Northern the boring side. Actually, scratch getting harder to pick than a broken off, and change is necessary. steadying tactical influence from Patterson on hand to share the win with a possible Grand Slam in Hemisphere sides able to take on that. Ben Cohen dropping the ball nose. In order for Ireland to win England are without a the midfield, with Michalak simply responsibility, he has proven him- the pipeline. God knows who'll win the likes of South Africa and the is a highlight of any game in which outright, they must obviously look genuine openside, with Worsley there as an attacking playmaker. self adept at running whichever now, but one thing is certain; its All Blacks with any confidence. it happens. to get wins over England and and Moody both more typical sixes Jauzion's injury really cocked that gameplan Scotland go with. going to be a great couple of Things obviously haven't The most remarkable Scotland in their final two games. than sevens. Worsley has been up, and poor old Freddie has buck- Elsewhere in the side, its hard to weeks. gone quite to plan. Last week, all thing about Scotland has been their France, inconsistent though they playing well, at least until the led under the strain of running the argue either with performance or was (almost) as expected. Italy versatility. Having beaten France may be, are unlikely to lose to Scotland game, and is England's game, rather than just releasing his selection. Scott Murray will be were becoming more competitive, with open, free-flowing rugby, full Wales, and Scotland will surely be best option now at flank. This gives backline. kicking himself, or at least just Winter Olympics: They Big Moe Aren’t Totally Rubbish Vs. The

The fact is that for many, anyone in this part of the world Skeleton gold-medallist, couldn't mer counterpart, been subsequently Connel McKenna these games take a series of minor- were that the case, but then every- steady his withering emotions staged every four years, outside of ity and in certain cases obscure one feels as though they belong to enough to complete a sentence war-time. Neo-Nazis So, did you watch the Winter sports and wrap them up inside one the 'Olympic Community' (Hell, without choking back tears. With that brief history Olympics? If you reply with a big novel package, which happens we even sent four competitors our- Athletes like Gibson though, have lesson taken into account, it is not hearty 'yes,' having been for two to have the word 'Olympics' selves). How we would have to be set in an Olympic context, as difficult to conclude that there is a Even Bill, the barman weeks captivated by the speed and Johnny Walls stamped across it. In isolation, scoffed at poor souls trying to look indeed do these very Games, and of lot more prestige surrounding those was in jovial mood, but that was daring on show, you will find your- most of these sports lack any sort of dignified whilst skiing across flat course that is quite a context. The Games which find their origins in probably due more to the fact that self in something of a minority. With hindsight, I suppose it wasn't prestige for the average armchair and even uphill terrain. We proba- athlete's status as a true Olympian Ancient Greece. It is more difficult he had spent the evening in the For most of us it seems, the Winter too surprising. After all it's not fan, but stage them as Olympic bly would've enjoyed some good though, has to be qualified in this to imagine that any Winter company of two Swedish blondes. Olympics comes and goes every everyday the Azzuri play events, and that somewhat changes. auld craic at their expense, alright. way. Olympian could be revered world- There may have been four years without making much of Germany just 10 minutes down The very word demands respect; But wait, this is the Olympics; this The Summer Olympic wide to the extent that great shortcomings with the Irish team an impression on our sporting the road. demands you, as a sports fan, to sit is serious. Games, as they have now come to Olympians such as Carl Lewis are, but that was for another day. It Richter Scales. Having stumbled Friendly or otherwise up and take notice; but how much Undoubtedly it is, if not be known, come with an aura no matter what their medal haul. was time to bask in Stan's flying across it on television, we casually when these two heavyweights of notice should you take? to you then to someone else, and which is positively scented with Whether or not you consider the start. The post match analysis give our channel-flicking thumb a the international game lock horns It is illogical to suggest this article is not attempting to pour ancient history, mythology and athletes who competed in Turin to began and the topics of debate rest for five minutes, and watch it's the only show in town. that the events of the Turin 2006 scorn on the fine achievements of mystery. Despite the most be true Olympians - and to consid- flowed. Should Staunton have whichever event is at that time That said, the lack of would have received as much cov- the athletes who competed. It deplorable efforts the drug cheats er them not to be, I believe, is a given Doyle the full 90 minutes, being broadcast, purely out of atmosphere in the Fiddler's Elbow erage as they did were they simply clearly mattered to Duff Gibson, who have tarnished its reputation, valid viewpoint - these men and was it right to substitute Joey curiosity. Curiosity appeased, our for 's big day was- called 'The Winter Games.' They the 39-year old Canadian who, hav- The Olympic Games is sport in its women are Olympians by defini- O'Brien immediately after he inane flicking resumes. would have seemed very foreign to ing become the oldest ever purest form. Of course it is only tion, and that has to be respected. n't really the issue. It was more that we had misjudged the mood made that mistake and are those known as 'The Summer Olympic That cannot be taken away from two guys in the corner doing Games' because of the creation of them. No matter what response of the entire Irish population of Florence. impressions of a song thrush or the Winter Olympics, which seems their respective sports provoke in are they speaking Swedish? We to present something of a balance us, we must always remember that Weeks ago, my flatmate and I had weighed it up and made subtly edged our table closer to between the two - almost equilibri- they have earned our respect theirs and earwigged. um. It becomes somewhat difficult through the dedication and ability our decision. Germany and Italy, we agreed, was destined to be a David, the linguist to justify any sporting event being they have shown themselves to among us, assured everyone it was granted this in light of the incredi- possess. snore draw and with tickets going for 15 Euro a pop, it would be just Swedish. I didn't buy it.15 min- ble heritage of the Olympics. Duff Gibson's was not utes later I was still certain they The oldest myth concern- the only extraordinary achievement like flushing our money down the toilet. Lets face it, we convinced were trying to communicate with ing the Olympic Games is that of of these Games. Cindy Klassen an invisible black bird or talking the demigod Herakles, who com- won five gold medals for Canada in ourselves, they may have quality players but these two neighbours Klingon. missioned a day of games in the speed skating event, while Thankfully, it wasn't Olympia to honour Zeus, who had Hermann Maier completed his don't exactly play the most attrac- tive brand of football. No……..we long until my priorities changed. defeated Cronus in a struggle for recovery from career-threatening Moe, the Scottish barman the throne of the gods. The first injury by taking gold for Germany were going to watch Stan and the lads in the Pub. That was that. informed us that earlier in the day, Olympic Games, according to his- in the giant slalom. To show any the pub had been packed with torical records, can be traced back sort of disregard for these feats Of course on the night itself we arrived to find that every boisterous German supporters, to 776 B.C. Dedicated to the would merely display ignorance. who were likely to return angrier ancient gods, they were staged on Whether these games Tom, Dick and Harry…….and Mick had reckoned the game in than ever after watching their the ancient plains of Olympia. merit an Olympic title or not, the team getting thumped by the They continued on for fact that they possess one is hugely the Stadio Artemio Franchi would be a cracker and had gone there locals. You had to feel sorry for almost the next twelve centuries, beneficial for the individual sports Moe, in a few hours time, he until in 393 A.D. the emperor involved. As well as giving them instead. Only a few enclaves of would be the solitary black bar- Theodosius banned them, along that sense of prestige which we man in a pub full of extremely with all other "pagan cults." Sports have seen comes with Olympic Swedes punctuated an otherwise forlorn pub. Were we disheart- disgruntled neo-nazis. But he did, of these ancient games included the recognition, it probably ensures however, have a plan. He was shot-put, javelin, and boxing. that many of them do not slip into ened? - Sure, but wasn't the end of the world. There was a new era simply going to explain that his Many luminaries took part, with a absolute obscurity. Certainly, it dark complexion was as a result of certain competitor by the name of gives them a worldwide audience, for Irish football to kick off , and a friendly to be won. not washing for a few days! His Plato a double winner of the even if it is only for two weeks ability to laugh at himself speaks pankration event. every four years. The Olympic With a full house at Lansdowne, two promising volumes for one of the nicest guys The games were reborn iron lung helps to maintain a great you could hope to meet. in Athens in 1896, and welcomed diversity in the sporting world youngsters, making their debuts, and quality opponents in the guise So we decided to make many new events, including tennis, (even the summer Games have haste, heading for home through where Englishman Jon Boland incorporated various sports which of Sweden, their were reasons to believe it was going to be a good the cobbled winding streets, safe emerged victorious. certain detractors may claim deval- in the knowledge that the Stan era Just twenty-five years ues them overall) and that has to be evening. Two hours and a three had got off to a flying start, and later the International Olympic a good thing. So when you tune that we could, at least for now, Committee (I.O.C.) announced that into Vancouver 2010 during an idol nil victory later, the consensus was that it had been just that. Duff dream about European glory in they would stage 'International hour, be grateful that the novel side 2008. Sports Week 1924' in Chamonix, of competitive sport lives on. had returned to form, Steven Reid France. The new concept was a demonstrated that he may very complete success, and was retroac- well have what it takes to be an tively named as the first Olympic international class central mid- Claims that the British Curling Team are underfunded remain totally unfounded Winter Games. It has, like its sum- fielder, and the goals were top drawer. 26 Tuesday March 7, 2006 Sports Editor: Peter Henry SPORT Trinity News Don’t allow the opportunity for sporting excellence to pass by While continually improving its academic and other facilities, Trinity College is neglecting its sports clubs and allowing other Irish universities to take the cream of Irish sporting talent. Adrienne Da Costa thinks College needs to wake up to this. You can’t get too much of a good players playing in the division, JS player for a limited amount of time. thing: it seems sport in Trinity student Blakeney will have to In this respect Trinity’s glory can could be surrounded by clichés like move elsewhere to compete with only stretch so far, and its acco- this. As the season draws to a close the best if he is to continue to be lades will continue to lie in the for several DU clubs, one wonders selected for his country. Maguire, hearts of those who enjoyed a few to how many more of its successful who has thirteen senior caps and good years playing college sport sportspeople the College will bid has just finished competing in the before it was time to take things farewell to. Their college years Four Nations tournament in Egypt more seriously. have seen several of Ireland’s top where he notched up four goals in But what about the play- sportspeople flourish; but ultimate- two games for the Irish team, is in ers whom the college could lose ly, a degree opens doors, and the his fourth and final year at Trinity unnecessarily? The Hockey Club red and black jersey gets hung up and at the Hockey Club. Although have suffered from Peter on the way out, leaving everyone to his international career has blos- Blakeney’s absence due to interna- ponder over what they had. You somed during his Trinity years, tional duty on various occasions just don’t know what you’ve got Maguire cannot provide the this season, and the detrimental until it’s gone. College with his services forever. effect his departure would have on Is College Park nothing Next year he plans to play club the first XI next season is clear: he more than a field of dreams, where hockey in Holland, where the stan- was Leinster top goal scorer and the next O’Driscoll bides his time dard of the game is higher still, and player of the season for 2004/5. until bigger and better things come where he will be sure to improve However it should not be the case along? The reality is that you’d be his game and solidify his place on that one or two players sustain a more than likely to see him playing the international squad. College team. The College should for the opposition these days. The That the club will lose a be making more of an effort to association of Trinity’s teams with player of Maguire’s expertise is develop the talents of the likes of the College naturally limits the inevitable. The fact that DU those hockey and rugby players time their members are given to Hockey Club draws its players occupying the bottom places of the shine, but it shouldn’t excuse the from an exclusively Trinity student country’s top sporting leagues with College’s mediocre sporting per- base means that it can never enjoy the provision of better facilities. formances. Amidst all the pining, the loyalties displayed by other Perhaps this would also stall the Trinity is lagging behind in the race international-standard players to trend that sees many Trinity stu- to snap up the cream of the crop, their respective clubs. Realistically, dents play for other clubs, as well and the solutions to the problem are any college club can only expect to attract the best of the new talent ris- Phelie Maguire goes for goal in an international match against Belgium. Trinity is lucky to have Maguire play- all too obvious. keep an elite sportsperson for a ing from schools-level competi- ing for the College’s Hockey Club. Photo: Jonathan William Drennan DU Hockey Club’s two maximum of four years. This was tion. Current sixth-year students international players, Peter highlighted in the previous issue, were undoubtedly weighing up the Blakeney and Phelie Maguire, when DUFC expressed concern facilities at Trinity against those of finest academic conditions the moves need to be made by the rele- miniscule in comparison to, for tige of attending Trinity College in would surely have to consider their that their student players were UCD when they were filling in this country can offer. It’s unlikely that vant college bodies in order to example, the €2500 on offer at the eyes of Ireland's brightest sport- options were the first XI to be rele- being matched up against profes- year’s CAO applications. Come there’ll be any such song and dance make it a more attractive prospect. DCU. It will only be a matter of ing talent. That is, if it hasn't gated in a few weeks time. The sional players who had devoted August, the admissions office will out on the sports fields. This year’s sport scholarship recip- time before the abundance of already. The College needs to ask team currently sits second from their entire careers to one All no doubt be singing to the tune of Playing for your college ients were each given €250, an attractive sports scholarships on itself whether it is happy to see the bottom of Leinster division one, Ireland League club, and that their quota of 600 pointers, all set cannot be an honour in itself for amount which has in the past three offer at other Dublin universities potential for sporting excellence so and with so many high calibre Trinity could only retain an elite to make the most of some of the Trinity’s talented sportspeople, and years decreased from €750, and is will take precedence over the pres- easily passed over. DU devastated after attempt DU Orienteering Club at had a decent 2005 the net. The trick was repeated in who clinched the win- Dublin University’s orienteers had an eventful 2005. Stuart Scott Stephen Hanaphy the second half, before Byrne ner in the very last second of the gives an outline of the year in this belated report. claimed his hat-trick with a specu- game. A sweetly struck left-footed Freezing was the set- lative volley from twenty yards free-kick beat the helpless Colin You may be forgiven for thinking uted over fifty square kilometres, If you didn’t finish your course, ting for this year’s out. Captain Darren Dempsey also Morris, and from the resulting tip- DU Orienteers had run off the face each worth a different amount of you were ‘interrogated’ by the offi- Collingwood Cup, adorned an impressive display with off the referee sounded the final of the earth. With a temperamental points, and competitors in teams of cials. At least that’s what the Ireland’s premier a confident penalty-kick, which he whistle before Trinity could stage a mailing list and a dramatic reduc- two given twenty-four hours to English translation said. As the intervarsity soc- scored between Byrne’s first two comeback. The unforgiving knock- tion in size (due to the departure a find as many as possible. Coming only Irish contingent there (in fact, cer competi- strikes. While the eventual 4-0 out system of this year’s competi- large contingent of final year mem- straight after the exams, Trinity the only competitors outside tion. Over result might have flattered Trinity tion meant that Trinity’s bers last year), it has been fairly assumed the “training is for losers” Scandinavia and Russia), we felt the course of to a degree, the victory was Collingwood campaign was over. quiet on the information front. policy and decided to take it on. we had no option but to live up to four gruelling unquestionably merited. The disappointment of the players However, the Club rose above With fifty-one kilometres covered, our reputation by coming last in days thirteen The reward for this win and the management staff, com- these challenges, managing to two hours “sleep” and thousands of every event and by keeping the teams competed for was an encounter with one of the pounded by the cruel nature of the enlist a good number last Freshers’ midge bites, our “achievement” local pub in business (it seemed no- a trophy which has sides favoured to win the competi- defeat, was palpable. After the Week and has continued to field pales into comparison considering one else would). Although we had eluded Trinity’s grasp tion, the University of Ulster, heights of the display against DCU, strong (well, perhaps “enthusias- the (inhuman) winners covered (at to listen to the same Finnish since 1979. Sadly this Jordanstown. From the outset it the realisation that the coveted tro- tic” is a better word) teams to all speed) at least twice that distance. karaoke for five nights in a row, it unenviable record was was apparent that Trinity would phy had been snatched from their the major events. July saw five orienteers was a worthwhile cause, especially not to be broken last face a much sterner test than in the grasp so prematurely, and in such The 2005 season ended from Trinity and UCD go to considering we had five nights of week. previous game, and it was the brutal fashion, was all too sobering with the Irish Championship on Finland for five days of orienteer- sleeping on the concrete floor of Competing first northerners (in whose ranks were a for the Trinity squad. The fact that Inisbofin over the May Bank ing. Taking the scenic route, our the local school. against DCU, Trinity number of under- Jordanstown ultimately claimed Holiday weekend. Over two-hun- whistle-stop journey took in the Anyway, back to normal seemed to demonstrate all 21 internationals) who took the the cup in Thursday’s final against dred orienteers from around delights of Stansted Airport, Riga, climes and the start of last year’s the attributes required for lead mid-way through the second the University of Ulster, Coleraine Ireland descended on the island, Helsinki and of course Tallinn and autumn series. Trinity’s orienteers, success in this competition. half. The breakthrough suddenly provided only scant consolation for complete with bicycles, high-ener- its “Kiek in de Kök”, all in four as usual, hit the ground running – The centre-back partnership of sparked the initially cagey the DU boys. gy food and, in the case of the days. Arriving in the event centre no pun intended. Both beginners Dave Holt and Danny Goode encounter into life, and immediate- On a positive note, how- Trinity team, a plentiful supply of just in time for our first race, we and veterans performed well at looked impregnable for most of ly from the tip-off Trinity ever, the performance of a certain Dunnes Stores own-brand. As there had no idea what we had let our- events in Mullaghmeen the play, while the penetrative equalised. Picking up the ball in the number of Trinity’s players would was one shop and no ATM on the selves in for. Seemingly, the (Westmeath), Ticknock (Dublin), runs of Will Pender were a con- final third of the pitch Trinity’s indicate that next year’s competi- island, this showed remarkable Finnish take our “impassable” for- Mall Hill (Wicklow), Dún a Rí stant thorn in DCU’s left side. It quick-footed Davy Hayes tion, which is to be held at DCU, foresight unlike our decision to est and call it “runnable”, and then (Cavan) and the Curragh (Kildare). was Dermot Byrne, however, unleashed a ferocious effort which could prove more successful. Luke save the hostel bill and stay in tents sprint through it without a second’s Large turnouts were also present at who emerged as Trinity’s star- flew into the far corner of Coynecurry, whose skill levels and as it turned out to be one of the thought. Perhaps this stems from local events in UCD and Marlay turn. Latching on to an inci- Jordanstown’s net. Having first pace were a highlight of Trinity’s stormiest weekends of that “sum- years of fighting off the savage Park. A number also travelled to sive through-pass by the art- controlled the ball with his right final match against DIT, and the mer”. Nevertheless, it was a mem- horse-flies, which managed to the Connacht Championships in ful midfielder David foot Hayes demonstrated sublime aforementioned Andrews, whose orable experience, though thank- catch up with us whenever we Portumna. Each of these events Andrews, Byrne left his ambidexterity to score what was, vision and reading of the play gen- fully not to be repeated for a while. stopped to figure out where we provided different challenges, be it marker for dead unequivocally, the goal of the tour- erated many of Trinity’s attacks, Next up was the actually were. And running in thir- navigational, fitness or simply sur- before dispatching nament. both belied their freshman status. Rogaine. No, not a replacement ty degree heat (which only went viving the Irish weather. With ter- the ball neatly into Unfortunately Trinity’s Next weekend Trinity’s auxiliary hair product for men, but an annual away during the twilight hours of rain varying from mountainside to the bottom corner of jubilation was short-lived, as it was side will travel to Galway to com- large-scale “score” orienteering two to four AM) was painful to say forest to parkland, it is often route pete in the Crowley Cup, no doubt event held over twenty-four hours the least. choice and (a not so small amount DU Club captain Darren Dempsey at the match against keen to restore some pride to the in the Wicklow Mountains. Fifty On top of this, the Finns of) luck which determines the win- University of Ulster, Jordanstown Photo: Stephen Hanaphy college’s footballing community. orienteering controls are distrib- take orienteering far too seriously. ner; not always speed. Sixteen medals for Trinity fighters pattern section. In team patterns, Richard O’Dwyer did well to finish the medal positions. her weight category after being losing by a narrow margin. rienced opposition, and after a Stephen Toner hours of practice and careful chore- second, narrowly losing in the final In the intermediate col- narrowly beaten in the semi-final. Niall Murphy claimed tough final against UCC ultimately ography shone through as Sandie to a more experienced UCD team. ored belt section (green and blue Simon Deignan fought a number of second in the men’s black belt divi- emerged as champions, which was DU Tae Kwon Do Club took part in Hosford, Ciara Aucoin and Simon Matt, competing in his first compe- belts), Club captain Sandie Hosford tough opponents in the men’s sec- sion, narrowly beaten in a split- an excellent achievement for a the IUTF Irish Tae Kwon Do inter- Deignan put in an excellent effort tition, finished third in the individ- maintained her title from the previ- tion, with unanimous decisions in decision in the final by his brother. team comprising of lighter and varsity on the 26th February, taking to win this keenly contested sec- ual section. Christian Heri, John ous year as she again won gold every round ensuring another Laura came third in the ladies’ lower-graded fighters than the home a record sixteen medals. tion. Tobin, Richard O’Dwyer, and Alan after a number of hard-fought deserved first place. Alex Gray black belt section. In the black-belt opposition. First up in individual pat- In junior sparring (white Courtney all fought extremely rounds (which her opponents will and Richard Magnier also had team section a team comprising of terns, Laura Ni Chroin did excel- to yellow belt) a team comprising well in the same section, but testify to). Ciara Aucoin also man- tough bouts in their first continuous Simon Deignan, Cathal Hardiman, lently to win the ladies’ black-belt of John Tobin, Matt Fleury and unfortunately didn’t make it into aged a very creditable third place in sparring competition, with both and Niall Murphy beat more expe- Sports Editor: Peter Henry Tuesday March 7, 2006 27 Trinity News SPORT No varsity trophy Short Sport for Trinity fencers ally took ladies’ foil. ally had victory in men’s foil. Report Maria Clair The last weapon started With only ladies’ sabre on Saturday was men’s sabre but left to fence, the competition was February saw the opening of the due to a technical problem most of still up for grabs. Queen’s had vic- busiest few weeks for Trinity’s the matches were played on tories in men’s sabre and ladies’ Subversive secret fencers with the Club being repre- Sunday along with women’s epee, foil, Belfield had won men’s foil sented at the Scottish Open in men’s sabre and ladies’ sabre. Our and men’s epee, Trinity had won Edinburgh and at the inaugural sabre team of Cathal Scanlon, ladies’ epee, so Trinity needed vic- sporting societies West of Ireland Open. men’s captain Colm Flynn, Owen tory to remain in the running.The It was the trip up to Rooney and Laughlin Sykes were ladies’ sabre team of Kate Harvey, It’s no secret that the DU Knights Paul Doran Jones (Football), on the weekend of the 18th victorious in matches against Aine Whelan, Sarah O’Reilly and of the Campanile have been rather Mark Kirwan (Harriers and and 19th that saw the most activity. Maynooth, Coleraine and DCU, Isolde Murphy put up a spirited unactive in recent years. The Athletic), Richard Miles The 2006 fencing intervarsities only just losing to Queen’s Belfast fight and beat Cork and Maynooth, Club’s website hasn’t been updat- (Hockey), David Misstear were held at Queen’s Belfast for who took the weapon with straight and gained a stunning victory over ed in five years. However, by all (Cricket), Iain Nash (Rifle), David the first time in ten years. Day one wins. Queen’s but had an unlucky defeat accounts the new president, Philip O’Riordan (Windsurfing), Eoin was a tough competition as for the Trinity’s victory was in at the hands of UCD. Queen’s were Balbirnie of the DU Hockey Club, Sheridan (Amateur Boxing), first time seven universities, UCD, ladies’ epee fenced by Maria Clair, also defeated by a strong UCD hopes to revive the Club. The Adam Ward (Hockey) and Pat Trinity, UCC, NUI Maynooth, Melanie Bouroche, Suzanne team and because of this victory Knights’ motto, in certamine for- Wheen (Judo). University of Ulster Coleraine, Clayton and Aoife Brown. They UCD came away with the intervar- tis, in convivio comes, loosely Nor is it a secret (any- Queen’s Belfast and DCU had both swept the board with stunning vic- sity cup. translates as “good at sport, and more) that the members of the DU a men and a women’s team. tories over the favourites UCD and Trinity’s fencers have not too bad at partying either”. Heraeans like to sing lewd songs. After tough fights, Queen’s. With men’s foil and been proving themselves capable Elected in January, fitting that Elevated to the heights of lewd- Trinity’s epeeists Colm Flynn, ladies’ sabre left to fence, it looked of putting up a challenge to the best description, and to be seen sport- song singing this term are David Cahill, James Stratford and like Trinity was back in the running fencers in the country with Colm ing their dark blue, light blue and Danielle Costigan (Ladies’ Colin Couper lost to UCD but man- for winning the competition. Flynn, Kate Harvey, Loughlin pink ties at Trinity Ball, are: Hockey), Rachel Griffith (Ladies’ aged to pull back beating Men’s foil got off to a Skyes, Suzanne Clayton and Isolde Darren Dempsey (Association Hockey), Karen Mary Molony Maynooth, Coleraine and Cork. bad start with one of our fencers Murphy representing Ireland in the Football), Stuart Greene (Harriers (Badminton), Kate O’Flynn Our women foilists, captain Aoife becoming ill. Nonetheless the team quadrangular match in Cork on St and Athletic), Darren Hayes (Ladies’ Hockey) and Alannah Patrick Cosgrave of the DU Lawn Tennis Club loses his Brown, Kate Harvey, Maria Treacy of David Cahill, Colm Flynn, Patrick’s Day. (Football), Sam Hunt (Sailing), Whitehead (Equestrian). footing during a game at the Irish tennis intervarsities and Suzanne Clayton were ranked Laughlin Skyes and Dan Bergin Judging by their per- which the Trinity club hosted in College and at third overall after beating DCU and managed noteworthy wins over formances at this year’s intervarsi- UCC and giving tough competition Coleraine, Cork and DCU but lost ties they look likely to take the cup Boat Club looking Mountpleasant Lawn Tennis Club Photo: Brian Wyse to UCD and Queen’s who eventu- to Queen’s and UCD who eventu- from UCD in 2007. good for Colours DU Boat Club’s senior eight raced tive performances. For both a challenging course at Erne Head squads, the focus now shifts to the Nine times in a row as Squash Club of the River in Fermanagh last annual Colours race against UCD, weekend. The crew battled with taking place on Saturday week. cross winds and difficult bends, The senior eight also sometimes struggling to maintain rowed at Lagan Head of the River retains Irish intervarsity title the rate of striking at thirty-six in Belfast on the 18th of February, strokes-per-minute over the 6.5km finishing second only four sec- David Lowry that night and as a result all players was drawn against Queen’s Belfast. had a trophy to defend as they were phy. The men’s team captained by stretch. A final placing of third in onds behind a Queen’s University had to play one position “above With a full-strength team out the reigning ladies champions. Sean Reilly got to the final in the the senior category was, perhaps, and Lady Victoria Boat Club com- themselves”. Trinity were drawn in Trinity sailed into the final losing However the team was blighted by section narrowly losing 3-2. There a true reflection of the perform- bined crew. (David Cummins) DU Squash Club recently brought the group stages against NUI no matches. The scene was then set injuries and withdrawals of some were some great performances by ance. However, there were posi- DU Boat Club senior the intervarsity trophy back from Galway and UCD. Trinity had met for another Trinity and UCD final. key players. The team could only the men’s “C” team captained by tives to be gained from the experi- eight at Erne Head of the River: Cork, making it nine successful UCD in the final of the competition Trinity were back to full strength, muster four players for Friday Robbie Woods in the same section. ence, including a significant mar- John Joseph McCabe (bow), intervarsity tournaments in a row. for the last five consecutive years playing a strong UCD team with a night so unfortunately had to forfeit The intervarsities were gin of thirty-two seconds over Robert Swift, Joseph Calnan, One would be foolish to come to and so a difficult game was expect- lot of hunger for the trophy. one match before a ball was hit in over for another year and it was the UCD’s senior crew. Edward Roffe-Silvester, Rory the conclusion that the squash play- ed. DU lost 3-2 with only Aidan However our Belfield colleagues anger. They did put in a spirited Trinity team drinking champagne This year’s novices William Horner, Rory Browne, ers have it easy each year at the Sharky and Paddy Burke picking were dramatically knocked out of performance but too much was left from the trophy on Saturday night. gained more essential race prac- David Cummins, Seán Osborne competition. The opposite is true. up victories. Karlis Zauers (Club the competition by a spirited UCC to do on Saturday and they finished The credit for the win tice and two eights came off of the (stroke), Jonathan Christopher Competition is fierce and matches captain) narrowly lost out to rival team who played some inspired in third position in the overall tour- goes to the squash coach Elvy water satisfied with their respec- Maitland (cox) are close, some being separated by Fergal Field 10-9 in a five game squash to come back from behind nament. d’Costa who puts in a tremendous the slimiest of margins – a single thriller enjoyed by a packed and take the tie 3-2. Following the clean amount of work training all the point in one notable match this gallery. This left the next group The final was held that sweep at last year’s intervarsities, players. All going well, 2007 will Boat Club yet to win year. match against NUIG vital if Trinity evening and Trinity dominated pro- the men’s “B” team had their tro- make it ten in a row. The men’s “A” team were to progress to the knockout ceedings, with only Kevin-Francis phy to defend aswell. Due to the DU Squash Club’s travelled down to the competition stages of the competition. The pres- Humphreys losing a match. immense enthusiasm shown by the men’s “A” team: 1 Brian Byrne, 2 a race this year on Friday the 24th of February as sure was on and Trinity performed Despite Kevin-Francis’s loss, the members this year Trinity sent Adian Sharky, 3 Kevin-Francis The “head”, or time trial style off. As mentioned above, hot favourites. Unfortunately our superbly, the whole team winning. tie and the trophy were still ours for down two teams to compete in the Humphreys, 4 Karlis Zauers rowing events are almost over for Saturday’s time trial on the river number-one ranked player Brian The semi-finals were the ninth time. “B” section. Unfortunately neither (Captain), 5 David Lowry, 6 Paddy this year, and DU Boat Club is Erne at Enniskillen saw the Club’s Byrne could not travel until late held on the Saturday and Trinity The Trinity ladies also was successful in retaining the tro- Bourke scheduled to participate in one senior eight take third place, more, the original Head of the behind Neptune Rowing Club and River race in London taking place Queen’s University Belfast Boat on the 25th of this month. No time Club. The crew was six seconds Busy time trial pennants were added to DU ahead of NUI Galway’s eight, and Boat Club’s collection this year; thirty-two ahead of UCD. 100 years ago disappointingly, one might think, Beating UCD by such a especially when one remembers margin will give the members of Peter Henry that six of these pennants were the first eight a confidence boost for Harriers added to the walls of 23.0.01 in going into the Colours race which 2004. is scheduled to take place at Sunday anticipating Colours the J duP Langrishe, captain of the Nevertheless, the tactic O’Connell Bridge at 2:15pm on Mark Kirwan following week. DU Boat Club in 1906, is pictured of racing the College crew in more Saturday, 18th March. Come on Trinity proved the run- here standing by the Liffey. difficult categories may yet pay the Trin. The last few weeks have seen a away victors at Colours, comfort- “Jack” was seven-man busy period for the DU Harriers ably defeating UCD in both the in the crew which won the Thames and Athletic Club with both the men’s and women’s events. The Cup at Henley Royal Regattain Dungannon take a Colours and intervarsity cross women placed three in the top four 1903, one of only two Henley country events taking place, and a led by Carolyn Dobbyn, with wins for Trinity last century. trip to London for the Hyde Park Fodhla Treacy and Caitríona Langrishe is wearing the kicking from DUFC Relays thrown into the mix. Hooper not too far in arrears. The uniform of the senior eight: a First up was the Hyde men too placed first and second in black and white striped zephyr DU Football Club’s first XV beat Doherty. Park Relays where the men’s and Mark Kirwan and Patrick Temple with a royal blue badge bearing Dungannon Rugby Club 25-12 in The first team’s next women’s teams aimed to replicate who were backed up by good sup- the College’s arms, white shorts, their AIL match last Saturday. The encounter will be a friendly with the success of the previous year port in the rest of the team. This and black and white striped socks. match was played at Wanderers’ Oxford University at Iffley Road when the men were first overall provided a solid background for It’s interesting to note ground on Merrion Road because in Oxford on Friday week. Trinity team and the women first overseas success in the intervarsity cross that this uniform is entirely a frozen College Park was face a tough game as the Dark team. A group of twenty-two eager country hosted by Trinity in the unchanged since then. The Boat unplayable. Trinity tries came Blues have not been beaten so far athletes traveled out from Dublin Santry playing fields. Club’s senior eight’s members will from Paul Doran Jones, Martin this year. God willing, Trinity will Airport on Friday, 10th February A cold but crisp day and be seen kitted out exactly like Garvey, Philip Crowe and Ronan crush the insolent Oxonians. with high ambitions. The race is a a well constructed course – due to Langrishe when they face UCD in student relay run in the heart of the efforts of Trinity groundsman the Colours race at O’Connell London’s Hyde Park with over David Hackett and his team – pro- Bridge on Saturday week. This year’s lucky one-hundred-and-fifty teams, both vided the perfect setting for the Langrishe came up to men and women, competing. intervarsity cross country. Trinity in 1901 and took his The races are a continu- Unfortunately Trinity’s teams, both degree in 1906. sport scholars ous relay with the men’s teams men and women, were severely His year as captain was These pages neglected to publish a (), Darren comprising of six legs of 5.2k and depleted due to injuries and sick- a disappointment. A strong Bann list of this year’s sport scholars Dempsey (Association Football), the women’s four legs of 3.4k. ness. The women’s team ran solid- Rowing Club eight dominated on earlier in the year. The twenty- Caroline Dobbyn (Harriers and Trinity had two teams in each race ly and packed well to finish a Irish waters, and despite coaching four sportsmen and sportswomen Athletic), John Downey (Sailing), and there were some fine perform- secure fourth, despite having had from Cambridge Blue CJD Goldie on scholarships this year receive Nicola Fitzgibbon (Equestrian), ances throughout. With a stronger hopes of a medal. The men’s team that year, Trinity’s senior eight neither accommodation nor com- Neil Fleming (Canoe), Barry field than 2005, the men’s first was the worst hid by casualties, were no match for Bann in the mons. The amount of money they Glavey (Hockey), Maria Hoey team did well to secure third place with three or four of the top six University Grand Challenge Cup do receive is not enough to attract (Gaelic Football), Sam Hunt behind St Mary’s and Oxford. runners out, and after a second event at the home DUBC Regatta. Ireland’s top sportspeople to (Sailing), Cecelia Joyce (Cricket The men’s second team place team effort last year they After graduating College clubs. Those chosen by and Hockey), Phelie Maguire competed strongly finishing well could only muster fifth on their Langrishe joined the British the Department of Sport and (Hockey), Karl McGuckin (Gaelic inside the top half of the teams. own turf. They were led by Mark Army’s Royal Army Medical Recreation, however, are not com- Football), Claudine Murphy The women’s race was fiercely Kirwan who finished fourth over- Corps and was sent to India in plaining, and they are: Shane (Sailing), Rebecca Murphy contested and the women’s first all. The rest of the team gave 1908 as a Medical Officer. Aherne (Swimming), Lukas (Ladies’ Hockey), Geoff Tait team was pleased to place seventh everything but it wasn’t enough on His rowing career didn’t Anderson (Swimming), John (Sailing), Lisa Tait (Sailing), with the second team also contest- the day. end then, however. While on leave Behan (Basketball), Peter Niamh Taylor (), Aisling ing admirably to another top half Up next on the agenda from army duty in 1909, he Blakeney (Cricket and Hockey), Toolan (Ladies’ Association finish. Following Saturday’s night after the break in term is the 111 stroked a RAMC four to victory at Joseph Calnan (Boat), Niall Football), Sinead Tyrrell out in London, a tired but enthusi- mile relay. Keep an eye on the a regatta held in Naini Tal, a hill Conlon (Football), Owen Coyle (Swimming) astic team came home on the Club’s website for information. station in the Himalaya foothills. J duP Langrishe Photo: DU Boat Club 28 Tuesday March 7, 2006 Sports Editor: Peter Henry SPORT Trinity News Trench Cup win for Gaelic Football Club Ray O’Brien Patrick’s College, Drumcondra by they were not lesser men and all the DU team under pressure for the a free. However, Niall Collins lift- defence. The opponents launched Gilleran lifted the Trench Cup. 3-7 to 2-8 in an exciting decider. dug deep to hold on in a frantic six first time in the match. ed Trinity with a massive score one last attack and a twenty-five Dermot McTernan was For the third time in four games minute injury time. St Pat’s actually finished from thirty-five yards and then yard shot looked destined for the awarded man of the match. Great Dublin University 3-7 Trinity decided that a cliffhanger Trinity began the game in the first half the stronger of the two Trinity hit a purple patch with a bottom corner when goalkeeper praise must go to Trinity manager St Patrick’s College 2-8 was the only way to go about win- fired-up mode with early goals teams with a goal from David third goal from Dermot McTernan Dermot Mullen somehow managed Tom Smyth along with coaches ning the title. from Darren Dempsey and Derek Heraty handing them a 2-6 to 2-3 which gave them a lead they never to pull off a fantastic save. Trinity Dan Davern, Gavin Kerr and Ray Trinity College made history at the The winners managed to Casserly propelling them into a lead. subsequently lost. managed to clear their decks and O Brien. DCU grounds on Saturday 25th do the business despite having been convincing early lead after just The second half was a With time running out St with it went St Pat’s hopes of win- Scorers: Dermot February when DU Gaelic Football reduced to fourteen men in the eight minutes. St Pat’s gradually much more fluid and higher quality Pat’s laid siege to the Trinity goal; ning. The final whistle brought McTernan (1-4), Darren Dempsey Club claimed their first ever Trench early stages of the second half. edged their way into the game and encounter with St Patrick’s starting however, their attacks foundered scenes of unbridled jubilation as (1-0), Derek Casserly (1-0), Niall Cup triumph after outscoring St Even though Trinity had fewer men a goal from David O’Donnell had brightly, Brian Kavanagh pointing on the rocks that were the Trinity Pierse Og Casey and Shane Collins (0-2), Gavin Bernie (0-1) Good performances at Cyclists’ performances not far off the mark snow sport intervarsities field, half of who were in the sen- hid in breakaway group led by the Michael Barry ior “A” and “B” categories. eventual winner. However, the dis- Nonetheless, Trinity advantages of facing a carbon fibre Sara Harrington The DU Bicycle Club faced a veri- posted commendable times in the bike and eight years of experience table baptism of fire on the 24th of initial eight mile time trial, and fin- eventually began to tell on Nick, DU Snow Sports Club took part in February in its first race, the Irish ished high up in their “C” category. and he had to fall back to the main intervarsities in Kilternan on Cycling Intervarsities hosted by In many cases Trinity riders group. Saturday February 25th. While NUI Galway. Thanks to the funds recounted overtaking other riders, Riders Stephen Heary UCD took the overall prize Trinity contributed by the Club’s sponsors, despite not using carbon fibre and Peter McKenna started out won the development prize thanks AFA O’Meara Advertising, framed bikes or other expensive well, yet an unlucky combination to Frank Lu and Gearóid Ó Murphy and Gunn Motors, Park gear. of chasing stronger riders and Chonchobhair who put in excellent Developments, and AIB, Trinity After lunch the main fierce winds wore them out, and times on the slalom course on were able to send a team of five event, a fifty-mile road race, took left them trailing towards the end board and skis respectively. It was riders. More a trial place. In freezing cross winds the of the race. great to see Gearóid representing for the Ireland field was told that the six-lap Trinity rider Joanna Trinity as he only began his skiing under-23 course was wet, slippery and dan- Hickey was the sole challenger to career on this year’s Christmas trip team than a gerous. All were raring to go. the Ireland women’s under-23 to Les Arcs. The best Trinity times university As is always the case member Mary Brennan. Facing in the ski slalom were recorded by champi- with race starts, riders start off fast such a strong opponent Joanna did Mike Friedmann and Darragh onship, the to try to establish themselves well, staying neck and neck until Holmes, both of whom have plen- Club was up towards the front of the pack. Out the last lap where Brennan pulled a ty of Kilternan experience. Despite against a of the saddles and in the high gears, sprint that couldn’t be matched. their valiant effort, the brother-sis- strong the pack set off at twenty-eight Michael Barry chose a ter team of Conor and Laura Swain miles-per-hour up the first hill. group in the middle of the field and ensured victory for UCD in this Into the first corner it was only made a determined effort to stay in event. The snowboard slalom was skill and luck helped riders it. By drafting just behind the won by DCU with Cody Punter avoid some ugly potholes and group leaders for over an hour, he and Sasha Smolin from Trinity crashes. placed himself in a good position providing the DCU team with There were many for the final sprint. However, a some challenging competition. near misses during the race, slow puncture in the last mile The “slope style” competition was with racers robbed him of speed that could a crowd pleaser with plenty of constantly skidding and have been usefully spent, and had people pulling off impressive bumping into each other to content himself with a finish in jumps and enjoying the new rails. at high speeds. One com- the middle of the group. All in all Trinity was extremely petitor almost cycled While not a record well represented in what turned into an escorting Garda breaking performance in itself, the out to be a fine spectacle of snow car in his attempt to experience gained by the Club sports. make a cheeky sprint. members from racing against such The snow sport intervar- DU’s team strong competition will set them up sity competition is growing in pop- opted to stay in the well for the coming season. In par- ularity each year with many thanks middle of the pack ticular it is interesting to note that due to irishsnowboarder.com for and let the other riders UCD sent no riders to the intervar- their continuing help with the do the hard work for them. sities, despite having a larger and event. The event provided the Trinity’s Nicholas Cosgrave in more established club. opportunity for all levels of Trinity particular took this approach Time trial results: 24 skiers and boarders to compete at to its logical extreme, and Nicholas Cosgrave 20:24, 26 their respective levels in what Michael Barry 20:39, 28 Peter turned out to be a very close com- McKenna 22:00, 29 Joanna Hickey petition. Saturday evening ended 22:22, 31 Stephen Heary 23:48 with a barbeque and music sup- Road Race results: 19 Boarding in the snow sport intervarsities at Kilternan Photo: Sean O’Callaghan plied by Trinity DJs. Nick Cosgrave time trialled well Photo: Michael Barry Michael Barry. Other riders DNF. DUFC the victors in nail-biting league final against Bective they again used their powerful held that late attack, Trinity took a and began to throw everything they fifty-three minutes in, the south- the death knell of the game. In the heartbreaking. With that win came Tadhg Peavoy maul to drive to within inches of flimsy yet appreciated five-point had at their opposite numbers. siders’ left wing James O’Flangan end, however, it was Bective who the final whistle, and a just about the Bective line, and yet again from advantage into the break. From the ensuing kick-off, they made another storming break down lost the game, rather than Trinity deserved Trinity victory. There will Dublin University 8 a lineout. Bective spoiled the move Trinity continued where stole back possession and strung the left-hand flank. Full back winning it. In the seventy-third be silverware in the clubhouse this Bective Rangers 7 by bringing it down and the referee they left off at half time, spewing together several phases of play, Michael Kavanagh managed to minute, Bective fly-half Elliott year. inexplicably awarded a penalty to up possession through poor line- with out-half Bill Walsh putting knock the winger into touch with a missed his second penalty of the Dublin University XV What a game. In a topsy-turvy Bective, allowing them to clear outs and failing to recycle the ball together some his better passages scampering cover tackle. From the day, from just inside the Trinity vs Bective Rangers: 15 Michael encounter at the ‘Brook, Trinity’s their lines. quickly. After only two minutes in the game. On the sixth phase, ensuing lineout, Trinity surprising- ten-metre line. Kavanagh, 14 Paddy Ferrante, 13 under-20 “B” team somehow man- Trinity kept pressing for into the second half, Trinity gave Bective conceded a penalty for off- ly gained possession and cleared A cacophony of errors Eoin Cross, 12 Chris Sale, 11 aged to scrape a one-point victory further points; however, they did away a penalty for killing the ball side, giving Trinity the chance to their lines. meant Trinity continually gave the Alistair Musgrave, 10 Bill Walsh, 9 in a cracking under-age encounter, not come. The lineout platform was at the breakdown, just inside the level. On this occasion, however, Kavanagh’s superlative ball back to Bective in the closing Bryan Roche, 1 Mark Wright, 2 sealing the JP Fanagan division one the fulcrum of their mistakes. For a twenty-two. Bective elected to kick Trinity’s number-eight – Zac tackle seemed to galvanise Trinity. stages. This gave Elliott his second Ben Cunningham, 3 Eoin league title. period in the first half, the hooker for goal. Unfortunately for Bective, Desmond – could not capitalise From here on the pack began to chance to win the game in the sev- O’Cuilligan, 4 Dave Byrne, 5 Alan Our men in red and black could not hit a barn door, resulting their out-half Dave Elliott skewed from the kick. batter the Bective line with more enty-eighth minute from a Matthews, 6 Dan Brennan (cap- bossed the game for the opening in the lineout creaking and groan- the ball horribly wide. This contin- Desmond and his pack vigour then ever before. Desmond drop goal, which fell tain), 7 David Whately, 8 Zac half hour and in the twelfth minute ing like old floorboards under the ued the pattern of an afternoon that continued to drive Trinity forward almost doubled his team’s points inches wide of the right Desmond (man of the deservedly drew first blood. From a weight of a Nick Popplewell. the ginger-haired out-half will in search of that elusive second on sixty minutes with a sniping post. The best was match). lineout on the Bective line, Trinity As a result, Rangers surely do anything he possibly can score. The number-eight and his break in the left hand corner. On saved until last, how- bullied their way over from a maul, managed to wangle their way back to forget. pack repeatedly minced the Bective sixty-nine minutes, Bective’s ever, as the same with open side flanker David into the encounter. In the thirty- Lady Luck briefly aban- forwards, with hooker Ben defence buckled and conceded a man was offered his Whately credited with the five fourth minute, they squandered a doned DUFC seven minutes later, Cunningham and second row Alan penalty under their posts. Zac third chance to win points. Bill Walsh missed the gilt-edged opportunity to level the as they lost a ball from a ruck just Matthews playing outstandingly in Desmond, in what was growing the game two min- resulting conversion. scores. From broken play, the inside the Bective half; and from the loose. Behind the engine room, into a man-of-the-match perform- utes into injury In the twenty-second south-side team managed to create the ensuing turnover their left-wing handling errors in the back division ance, knocked over the ensuing time. To com- minute, the Trin almost doubled a two-man overlap on the left wing. James O’Flangan jinked and jived were costing the team dearly. kick – leaving Trinity a point ahead plete his ‘day- their advantage from exactly the However, a poor pass from second his way through countless tackles, Knock-ons and flat lines of running at 7-8. mare’ he dread- same position that yielded their centre Eoin Cross meant that to go over in the right hand corner. – which would fail to cut through Sensing defeat, Bective fully miscued, first five points. A lineout from a Trinity escaped the seemingly It was a first-rate individual try. paper, let alone a robust defence – realised they needed to dig deep, in one of those penalty kick to touch failed to go to unavoidable. One sure way to ruin Elliott added two points from the kept undermining the pack’s good and the final ten minutes was all sporting hand, however, and the chance was an overlap is to skip passes in the hoof to put his side 7-5 ahead. work. theirs. It is worth noting that Trinity moments that are lost. Trinity’s dominance continued line and that is just what Bective’s Trinity picked up the Against the run of play, played with pride, passion and self- at the same time into the twenty-fifth minute, when number-twelve did. Having with- gauntlet thrown down by Bective in a move from a Bective scrum, belief under enormous pressure at wonderful and

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