בס״ד Vol. 2 Issue No. 62 january 2019

HOW SAFE IS THAT TAXI?

GUILT FREE SWEET TREATS

ETERNAL LESSONS IN EVERYDAY LIFE

The+ State of Our Schools AN INTERVIEW with RABBI CHAIM DOVID ZWEIBEL

A Project of:

Jewish Echo | 1 Jewish Community Council of Marine Park 2 | Jewish Echo New from Rabbi Gil Student! Search Engine: Finding Meaning in Jewish Texts: Jewish Leadership

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Jewish Echo | 3 THE JEWISH ECHO Contents 2076 Flatbush Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11234 (718) 407-1832 6 | Editorial FAX: (718) 228-8508 [email protected] 8 | Letters to the Editor RAYLE RUBENSTEIN 12 | Community Highlights Editor in Chief MENDY RINKOFF 20 | Word on the Street Managing Editor ITA YANKOVICH 22 | World News Proofreader

24 | The State of NAOMI HAZAN Food Editor Our Schools PENINAH BAUMGARTEN 30 | How Safe is that Taxi Art Director PHIL BRACH 38 | Operation Inspiration Account Executive

42 | Halacha 48 | Recipe CONTRIBUTORS Yitti Berkovic • Rabbi Jonathan 44 | Choose to Shine 52 | Joining the Marine Gewirtz • Naomi Hazan • [Park] Core Devorah Hirsch • Hillel Kapnick 46 | Ask the Therapist • Daniel Keren • Alexander Rand 54 | • Rabbi Pinchos Shine • Rabbi Gil Kid� Pa�e� Student • Ita Yankovich • Rabbi • Mini Echo Hillel Yarmove • Teen Story

58 | JM 101 © The Jewish Echo Published by the JCC of Marine Park. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form 60 | Musings without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space 62 | Mazel Tov! and editorial sensitivities. The Jewish Echo assumes no responsibility | Zmanim for the content of articles or advertisements 64 in this publication, nor for the contents of books that are referred to or excerpted herein. 67 | Echoes The Jewish Echo is a monthly publication that is mailed to homes the fi rst week of every month.

January 2019 - Volume 2 Issue 62- The Jewish Echo is published monthly by the JCC of Marine Park whose offi ces are situated at 2076 Flatbush Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11234. Postage Paid in Brooklyn, NY Post Offi ces.

To advertise in this publication, please call 718.407.1832 To receive this magazine by mail please email [email protected]

4 | Jewish Echo Jewish Echo | 5 EDITORIAL

Dear Reader , In the past few weeks Klal Yisrael banded together as YAFFED, a nonprofi t advocacy group made up of former chassidishe yeshivah students, felt compelled to push the city and state into regulating the secular studies offered in our yeshivos. Is that the right approach to facilitate change? When do freedom of religion and freedom of speech intersect to dictate how and what we teach in religious schools? Taking you back a few weeks, I had the honor and privilege of attending President Trump’s Chanukah party at the White House with my teenage son, where we met Secretary of Education Betsy Devos. My son shared with Ms. Davos a bit about what he was learning in school aand plans for his future and career . Was she impressed with what he had to say? Did their short conversation about his education and aspirations make an impression on her? Did his off-the-cuff words help build the case for allowing our yeshivos to oversee their own curricula? I have no idea, but I can’t help hoping that my son, in his yarmulke, white shirt, black pants, and the ideas he conveyed in his articulate and polite English, gave her food for thought. Our children are the future of our nation. It’s why their education is so important to us, and why, as Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zweibel pointed out in the interview you will read in this issue, we spend so much of our hard-earned money on it. A solid education should undoubtedly include science, math, English, and history. But those are icing on the cake. Our focus has always been – and will always be – our Torah and mesorah. We will remain united as a nation to ensure that these ideals remain at the core of our curriculum. Warm regards, Shea Rubenstein [email protected]

Shea Rubenstein is a co-founder of the Jewish Community Council of Marine Park and serves as its executive vice president. The JCCMP offers many programs to Marine Park and its surrounding communities, including youth programs, social services, and job initiatives.

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Thank you, Shea Rubenstein, for releasing Shirei Haplaita. I heard from my friends and coworkers each day of Chanukah know of no other musician that is producing songs from before was what gifts they were giving their kids. The next day, I the Holocaust. Now these tunes can be remembered and heard venting about how their kids wanted to know what gift cherished for generations to come. My grandfather is enjoying tomorrow will bring. How sad. Rabbi Gewirtz is right; the your songs so much! I gave him the CD as a Chanukah present, best gift you can give your child, or anyone for that matter, not knowing what else to get him, and he listens to it at least is your time and attention. They can get a toy from anywhere two times every day. or anyone, but your love is so much more precious and remembered. Try fi nding that on Amazon! Chanie J. Bracha G.

Dear Editor, Dear Editor, Rizy Horowitz is an amazing individual who goes well beyond her duties to help Holocaust survivors through her organization, I read your latest Ask the Therapist column with much Nachas. I am glad she got the acknowledgment she deserves interest as our family will be celebrating our very fi rst bar in your feature. It is not easy to work with survivors and mitzvah in a few months. I was eager to read the response understand their trauma, but Rizy “gets” it. It is even harder as my husband and I also worry that our party will not meet dealing with the red tape of reparations, but Rizy rolls up her the expectations of the community. When our son was little, sleeves and always gets to work to get the monies owed to her we set aside money for this special occasion, but we doubt beloved ladies (and men). I met her once when I needed help it will be enough. However, we are also smart enough not to getting medical coverage for my mother and despite the packed succumb to the pressure and go into debt for this one-night offi ce and ringing phone, I will never forget the individualized affair. We will have a simple yet tasteful bar mitzvah with attention Rizy gave us. no DJ, fl owers, or sushi - just heaping spoonfuls of Yiddishe nachas. Hope our guests enjoy! Daughter of a Survivor The Shulman Family

Dear Editor, I found Yankovich’s article on food-related anti-Semitism quite interesting. It is true that in today’s age, liberals especially will fi nd any means to attack Jews and Israel. Do you know that the week of Chanukah, the New York Times ran an article about how fried potatoes are bad for your health? Interesting timing, no? I also hear that Arnold’s Bread and Entenmann’s might be pulling their OU hashgacha. Why would such major brand We’d love to hear names not want Jews to buy their food? Stanley Green from you! Please end your le er and feedback to Dear Editor, I loved Rabbi Gewirtz’s Chanukah column last month. All I [email protected]

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Jewish Echo | 11 COMMUNITY HIGHLIGHTS Daniel Keren

RABBI URI ZOHAR TO SPEAK AT P’EYLIM LEV L’ACHIM BREAKFAST Rabbi Uri Zohar, the world’s most famous baal teshuvah, was Israel’s most popular comedian, movie star/director and television personality back in the 1970s. A few years later, he became frum and eventually a rabbi, and today is a major kiruv personality. He will be one of the featured speakers at the annual Flatbush Community Breakfast for P’eylim Lev L’Achim, the movement of the Gedolei Yisroel at the Agudas Yisroel Bais Binyomin on Sunday, January 13th.

The JCCMP Girls Club had a very special guest on Sunday, December 16, when Assemblywoman Rodneyse Bichotte THE 6TH ANNUAL came to visit 150 girls in action. E COMMERCE EXPO AND CONFERENCE SET FOR TUES. YESHIVA OF FAR ROCKAWAY FEB. 12TH HONORS RABBI YECHIEL The Jewish Community Council (JCC) of Marine Park is YITZCHOK PERR ON A YOVEL sponsoring the 6th Annual E-Commerce Expo and Conference OF HARBOTZAS TORAH that will be held at The Palace on Tuesday, February 12th. This premiere annual e-commerce event of the New York Jewish Hundreds of young men from Brooklyn have learned at the Yeshiva community is expected to attract more than 800 attendees of Far Rockaway. Many of these musmachim will now gather at The th from across the Tri-State region. Established Amazon sellers Sands in a special tribute next month, February 10 , to celebrate a and E-tailers with a combined buying power of $5BN will yovel of harbotzas Torah in honor of Rabbi and Rebbetzin Yechiel meet exhibitors and attend seminars to learn about the many Yitzchok Perr, the rosh yeshivah of the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway. resources and services available. There will be four separate tracks offered at the seminars portion of the event. These are: E-Tail, Amazon Level 1, Amazon Level 2, and Business RABBI MAIMON ELBAZ OF Development. The program will include top speakers, breakout TORAH SHOWS PRESENTS sessions, CEO round table, full buffet dinner and valet parking. The industry trade show will include over 60 vendors, and great THE 13 PRINCIPLES OF FAITH networking. For more information or to register as a vendor, REQUIRED OF EVERY JEW please email [email protected] or [email protected] Rabbi Maimon Elbaz of Flatbush, world renowned Torah educator or call 718-407-1832. whose programs have been seen by Jewish communities throughout the English-speaking world and director of Torah Shows, recently premiered a new and outstanding audio-visual presentation at the recent Flatbush Hakhel Thanksgiving Day Yarchei Kallah at Rabbi Reisman’s RABBI MOSHE HILLEL shul (Agudath Israel of Madison). The topic of the presentation was HIRSCH VISITS FLATBUSH “The Thirteen Principles of Faith Required of Every Jew.” FOR SHABBOS PARASHAS VAYECHI The head of the Slobodka Yeshiva in Bnei Brak, Rabbi FLATBUSH COMMUNITY FUND Moshe Hillel Hirsch, came to spend Shabbos in Flatbush on FUNDS TUTORING PROGRAM Parashas Vayechi. Hundreds of community members took advantage of the opportunity to participate in a melaveh malkah FOR LOCAL STUDENTS and community reception in the home of Reb Menachem One of the projects of the Flatbush Community Fund is a tutoring Braunstein to benefi t the world renowned yeshivah. For that program that helps keep students in our community from becoming Shabbos, Rabbi Hirsch davened at Kol Torah Bais Medrash, at-risk youth. The FCF’s onsite tutors are mentors that give Kahal Zichron Yaakov and Shlomo, and the Imrei Zvi Bais struggling students the confi dence to believe in themselves and Hamedrash. make the right decisions both academically and in life. 12 | Jewish Echo BROOKLYN MOURNS THE PETIRAH OF CHACHAM SHAUL KASSIN, CHIEF RABBI OF THE SYRIAN COMMUNITY Brooklyn Jewry – both Sephardic and Ashkenazi – mourn the petirah of Chacham Shaul Kassin, zt”l, Chief Rabbi of the Brooklyn and the metropolitan area’s Syrian community, who passed away on Shabbos Parashas Vayeshev. He succeeded his father Chacham Yaakov Kassin, zt”l in 1994, as the fi rst Chief Rabbi of the Syrian kehillah. Born in 1920 in Yerushalayim, he and his family moved to Brooklyn in 1933 when his father was asked to lead the Sephardic community. For many decades, Chacham Honor roll students of Yeshiva Ohr Shraga’s secular studies department were rewarded with a special lunch! Shaul taught at Yeshiva Magen David in Flatbush. Always missing the kedushah of his native Eretz Yisrael, he visited it many times. A grandchild of the Chacham explained that he wasn’t able to live permanently in the Holy Land because of his commitment to the RIVKA LAUFER BIKUR Brooklyn Syrian community in addition to not wanting to leave CHOLIM HONORS MRS. his large family, which included great grandchildren living in New York. May his memory continue to be a blessing. HUDI SILBER AND DR. ISRAEL JACOBOWITZ The annual Rivkah Laufer Bikur Cholim Luncheon was held last month at Ateres Golda to honor supporters of this dedicated JCCMP SMALL BUSINESS organization which helps patients and their families while they are WEBINAR SERIES FOCUSES dealing with an illness at Brooklyn hospitals. The Miriam Lubling memorial award was presented to Mrs. Hudi Silber in memory of ON UTILIZING THE RIGHT her husband, Rav Elchonon Silber. The rofeh award was presented INSTAGRAM STRATEGY to Dr. Israel J. Jacobowitz, director of the minimally invasive cardiac surgery at Maimonides Medical Center. The keser shem tov award The Jewish Community Council (JCC) of Marine Park is was presented to Mrs. Brachie Spira, Rebbetzin of Bais Horoa of offering small business entrepreneurs the valuable opportunity Flatbush in memory of her father R’ Moshe Binik. Chessed awardees of benefi tting from monthly webinar series to help them grow were Beilu Blier, Shlima Levenshteyn and Norma Lowenbraun. The their business. This month’s topic, “Grow Your Business with luncheon was dedicated in memory of Mrs. Ibolya Schwartz. the Right Instagram Strategy,” will be delivered on Tuesday, January 15th, 11 A.M. – 12 P.M. The seminar will be presented by David Koningsberg who will instruct all participants on how to use this popular social medium to increase their company’s MY EXTENDED FAMILY HOSTS sales by using simple strategies. The cost is just $10 and entrepreneurs can participate from home. CHANUKAH PARTY FOR SINGLE PARENT FAMILIES Chanukah is a time when families get together to celebrate at parties. This can also be a challenging time for those that come from divorced homes, which is why My Extended Family, a Flatbush organization, has over the past few years hosted a most enjoyable Chanukah party giving single parents and their children much happiness and joy. This year’s party took place on the second night of Chanukah at the Jewish Children’s Museum on Eastern Parkway and was as usual, an amazing success. The event was sponsored by the Zakheim, Klerer and Weiss families and music was provided by Shea Rubenstein. My Extended Family also recently sponsored a community event at the Kingsway Jewish Center on the topic of “Singled Out: How We ALL Can Help Raise Our Children from Single-Parent Homes.” The speakers were Rabbi David Ashear and Dr. Mark Banschick, MD. A question and answer panel included Senator Simcha Felder had a great time bringing WHODYA to Lev Torah. The Senator thanked NYPD and FDNY for partnering to teach Dr. Banschick, Rabbi Yoseph Vigler, Rebbetzin Tzippy Vigler, kids the importance of gratitude and showing appreciation. Rabbi Doniel Drandoff and Mrs. Chana Blonder. Jewish Echo | 13 COMMUNITY HIGHLIGHTS

IT’S BEEN A BUSY MONTH AT THE JCCMP!

Councilman Chaim Deutsch and Assemblywoman Rodneyse Bichotte joining Mayan Yisroel’s My Extended Family Chanukah party at the Jewish Children’s Museum.

Brooklyn DA Eric Gonzalez hosted a great celebration of Brooklyn’s Jewish Community. Pictured: Councilman Kalman Yeger, Sam Sutton of the Sephardic Federation, Assemblyman Simcha Eichenstein, DA Eric Gonzalez, and Larry Spievak of COJO.

State Senator Elect Andrew Gounardes visited the JCC of Marine Park offi ce to better understand community issues.

Councilman Chaim Deutch was presented with Councilman Chaim Deutsch and Assemblywoman Rodneyse Bichotte joining Mayan Yisroel’s an award for his community work at the Nissim My Extended Family Chanukah party at the Jewish Children’s Museum. Chanukah Concert. Pictured with Rabbi Yoseph Vigler.

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Jewish Echo | 19 WordWord on the StreetStreet

Try to enjoy winter activities! Make sure to get at Winter doesn’t have to be sad. Go out and play in the snow. Admire least 15 minutes of It’s hard not to get sunlight each day. the beauty that this season has to down during these Go for a walk outside offer. long, dark winter during your lunch – Shelly Resler nights. On days I am break or sit by a sunny window and absorb feeling a bit depressed, the light and vitamin D I put on some music, through the glass. make a nice cup of hot – L. Guttman chocolate, and snuggle on the couch while chatting with a friend Mark down the days on the phone. on your calendar until – S. L. summer and buy yourself a special treat on Rosh Chodesh of every month to get you through it. Hibernate like the – B.G. bears do and only come out in April. – Marty Adler How do Go to Florida! you avoid – Raizy Greenberger Think about all the good aspects of winter: 1) It’s not bathing the winter suit season 2) Long Motzoei Shabbosos enable you to hang out with friends 3) blues? I heard that vitamin B No humidity means supplements and St. John’s no frizzy hair 4) No wort could help, but I’ve mosquitoes 5) Making never tried them. snowmen with the – Alex Y. kids. – Maya Shalom

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Jewish Echo | 21 JEWISHJEWISH

• NETHERLANDS In 2005, Dutch national railway company NS publicly apologized for their role in deporting Dutch Jews during World War II. They are now in the process of setting up a commission to investigate how to pay individual reparations. Erik Kroeze, a company spokesperson, said that the commission will look at making payments to Dutch Holocaust survivors and direct family members of Holocaust victims. The commission does not yet know how many people could be eligible. According to the Associate Press, more than 100,000 Jews — 70 percent of the Dutch Jewish community — did not survive the war. Most were deported from the Netherlands and killed in Nazi concentration camps. In a written statement, the rail company acknowledged that its involvement in the deportations “is a black page in the history of our country and our company.”

• HOLLAND Architect Johan Huibers, a 60-year-old devout Christian from Holland, has claimed to replicate the exact dimension of Noah’s ark as described in Genesis and wants to • SAUDI ARABIA bring his creation to Israel. The structure is The World Chess Federation has decided to move its international chess tournament, The World Blitz 427 feet long, 95 feet wide, and 75 feet high, and Rapid Championship, from Saudi Arabia to Russia just weeks before the main event. The federation and took seven people a decade to complete sites concerns that Israeli players will pursue legal action if barred from the event as they have been with a cost of 1.6 million dollars. It has in previous years. Last year, seven Israeli players were denied visas by the Saudi government which fi ve fl oors and can accommodate 5,000 prevented them from competing in the championship. In addition, two competitors from Qatar, which passengers. The ark is intended “to show currently has poor relations with Saudi Arabia, were granted visas at the last minute and were told they people that G-d exists,” Huibers explained could not fl y their country’s fl ag. Many top chess grandmasters from all over the world expressed their to JTA. “I want children to come here and outrage and boycotted the championship. In response, the International Federation of Chess, or FIDE, feel the texture of the wood, see the nails, declared that they would no longer be hosting tournaments in countries that deny entry and discriminate and see that what is written in the book is against players. With the help of the Lawfare Project, a US-based litigation fund that works to protect true. “This is a copy of G-d’s ship. It only the rights of Jewish and pro-Israel communities throughout the world, Israeli grandmaster Ilya Smirin makes sense to take it to G-d’s land.” This and former Israel Chess Federation spokesman Lior Eisenberg submitted a letter to the FIDE demanding voyage might be diffi cult to do as the ark assurance that last year’s fi asco would not repeat itself. “Nobody who wants to engage in sport should does not have a motor and must be moved be targeted because of their race, ethnicity, skin color, national origin, gender, or sexual orientation. You by tugboats. The vessel is currently fl oating don’t take your politics and then mirror it onto a local person. These are chess players – they’re not in the harbor of Dordt in the Netherlands. government offi cials,” said Lawfare Project Executive Director Brooke Goldstein.

22 | Jewish Echo JEWISH WORLDWORLD NEWSNEWS Ita Yankovich

• ISRAEL Israel has increased the foreign worker quota to cope with a severe shortage staff in the hotel industry. Minister of Tourism Yariv Levin and Philippines Labor and Employment Minister Silvestre Bello III signed the bilateral labor agreement allowing for the absorption of 1,000 Filipino citizens as a way to reduce Israeli vacation costs and continue to advance the country’s tourism industry. Currently, there are 1,550 vacant cleaning positions and 1,600 cooking and waitering job available. “Incoming tourism to Israel continues to increase and break records. Hotels are accordingly full, and as a result of concessions and grants granted by the Ministry of Tourism to establish hotels, we have also seen unprecedented momentum in the construction of hotel rooms after years of stagnation,” said Levin. According to the Tourism Ministry, the industry has experienced diffi culty in recruiting Israeli workers, regardless of wages, for hotel cleaning jobs. According to the pact made between Israel and the Philippines, the workers must speak English and have undergone professional training sponsored by the Filipino government. The Filipino workers will join nearly 28,000 of their fellow citizens who currently reside in Israel and are employed mainly as caregivers for the elderly.

• DUBAI There aren’t many Jews walking around in Dubai, but the Muslim • UNITED STATES country now has its very fi rst synagogue. The shul is actually an The NYPD is investigating a hate crime committed at Columbia Teacher’s unmarked, rented villa in a quiet part of the country. Although College. Dr. Elizabeth Midlarsky, a psychology professor at the school, had her the synagogue does not currently have a rabbi, it does contain offi ce vandalized with swastikas graffi tied all over her walls together with the a sanctuary for prayers (done in Orthodox liturgy), a kosher word “Yid” spray-painted in red. “Anti-Semitism is really in the wind now,” kitchen, and a few bedrooms for visitors or community members she told the Post. “I didn’t expect to be a personal target right now. I’m not who don’t drive on Shabbos. The small Jewish community, which standing up there waving banners. I’m not out there making announcements consists of about 150 members, previously arranged to assemble publicly.” This is not the fi rst time the 77-year-old has been the victim of an at individual homes for prayers. In what seems to be a wave of anti-Semitic hate crime. Back in 2007, she had a swastika painted on her offi ce acceptance, Dubai recently appointed a minister of tolerance door, which she believed was connected to her public protest against Iranian who sponsored a World Tolerance Summit for 1,200 Muslims, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad giving a speech at Columbia. According to Christians, Hindus, Jews, and others from around the world. the NYPD, anti-Semitic attacks in New York City specifi cally have increased “We’ve come a long way since I fi rst started going to Dubai 30 while other crimes have declined. Columbia’s Teacher’s College released a years ago,” says Eli Epstein, a New Yorker who helped found the statement saying they are “outraged and horrifi ed” by the incident. synagogue and donated a Torah.

Jewish Echo | 23 of The State Our Schools AN INTERVIEW WITH RABBI CHAIM DOVID ZWEIBEL SHEA RUBENSTEIN

24 | Jewish Echo What The state must make sure that SHEA RUBENSTEIN: brought R Z: schools provide a “substantially long with the issue of yeshivah curriculum to light equivalent instruction” to public schools’ now? Why has the SED (New York State in basic studies, and they must make sure the many Education Department) decided to rewrite that our children are equipped to enter A the rules? the real world. Our Torah tradition also asks of parents to provide our children freedoms afforded The (basic RABBI ZWEIBEL: yeshivah) with a trade, so they are not dependent education itself has been pretty much on others. Now the question is what to us as Jews in the same for the past 50 years, and our must be taught without weakening our community has been generally satisfi ed emphasis on the subjects that are inherent with their performance. Parents have the to our faith. Do our children have to this wonderful right to send their children to the schools learn trigonometry? Will that make them of their choice, and their active choice to better at business? Do we have to teach country is the send to a yeshivah is an indication that all the subjects taught in public school they are content with the secular studies including evolution? Once the state gets offered at that particular institution. involved in these details, it can become opportunity to YAFFED (Young Advocates for Fair very dangerous. If they feel the need to Education) is an advocacy group that was get involved more deeply, it should be formed by some former yeshivah students with a “light touch” not a hard hand or establish schools who felt that they lacked education. To checklist. I would like to reemphasize “help” other yeshivah students, they that the state is not evil but rather using and yeshivos decided to take this conversation to the a fact sheet and checklist. That approach state instead of to the yeshivah itself. can never work across the board for so I feel that this is a conversation that many diverse schools. that educate should happen but not with the state. The How does the separation of church state does not understand our children SR: and state factor into the involvement or our way of life, and it can become of the SED in our yeshivah curricula? our children in very dangerous if the government gets The state has the responsibility to involved in our children’s education. RZ: make sure that every child receives a manner that Is the state not required to make an education, just as they have to make SR: sure that our children have a robust sure that every child has a home and is not perpetuates our education? abandoned. The state does not fi nancially teachings and ideals.

Recently, with the announcement of the New York State Education Department’s new curriculum guidelines, delineated by New York Commissioner of Education MaryEllen Elia, the very premise of these schools was threatened. The battle for our yeshivos’ survival raises questions and concerns that remain with us as the new guidelines are amended, argued, and G-d willing, resolved. Agudath Israel of America has been leading the effort to maintain the educational norms upheld in our yeshivos for decades, norms which have allowed us to educate our children within a Torah-true framework. Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zweibel, executive vice president of Agudath Israel, sat down with me to discuss the background of the new guidelines, the issues involved, and the case for keeping our schools alive. Jewish Echo | 25 subsidize our schools because they do not I understand that you have a friendly and that is his right. For us, success is not promote private or religious studies. That’s SR: relationship with Commissioner measured by dollars; it’s measured by the a choice that parents make knowing they Elia. students we produce, their priorities, and can receive free education through public I consider her to be a fine person, and if they can make an educated decision for school. RZ: we do have a good relationship with themselves. The JCC of Marine Park has been her. That’s why I was very confused about As far as academic success, we recently SR: involved over the past few years in why this had all taken place so quickly filed an amicus curiae (friend of the court) helping yeshivah graduates strengthen without our consultation. All our elected brief on behalf of a prestigious attorney their communicative and business skills officials, including those in the assembly supporting the Felder amendment, which and state, have to be educated on our with conferences and vocational and allows chareidi schools to determine if they yeshivah priorities and on the subjects that computer programs. I know that the meet state curriculum requirements. The we do teach because, at the end of the day, Agudah has also been on the cutting brief states that the income levels and levels we do produce great students. of education of our students are on par with edge offering many different services those of public school graduates. and educational programs. Do you feel SR: The people trying to push this that there really is a lack of secular agenda are showing statistics of high Has the needle moved on the education in our schools? What do you dependency on public assistance among SR: recommendations due to the outpour feel is the correct approach? yeshivah graduates and attribute these of support for the private school system numbers in part to lack of proper education. from yeshivah and Catholic school parents? I think each school should be I’m not sure that graduates of public RZ: able to determine what needs to The original recommendation RZ: school show difference statistics, be taught within the guidelines of its RZ: had proposed 35 hours a week of especially when you compare family size mesorah. The point of a yeshivah is to secular studies. On December 19, it was (many frum and Chassidish families have reduced to seventeen and a half hours a provide yiddishkeit, mesorah, and Torah, eight or more members). I think the fact as well as secular studies - not the other week, but if you take into account that that they are large families allows them we don’t teach those subjects on Sunday way around. If secular education were to have benefits even though they are and Friday, that comes out to over four the focus, then we would be sending our earning a living. I think that in many hours per day of secular studies. When children to secular schools. We do have ways, the success of our students boils having such a rigorous education, the an organization formed for this purpose down to priorities. One of my children additional time plus Jewish studies can called PEARLS, which works on bringing decided to dedicate his time to kollel, be taxing. yeshivos together and creating a better and he knows that it comes with fewer program for the yeshivah system. material comforts, but chooses to do so, Have you received support from any SR: other governmental bodies? Yes. 29 members of the New York RZ: City Council sent a letter to the state expressing their concerns, and the overwhelming majority of these members are not Jewish. SR: Any final thoughts?

It’s important to remember that RZ: Yiddishkeit in America was built only because the Jewish community made yeshivah education and their mesorah their utmost priority, instead of sending their children to public school and providing a Jewish afterschool program. Parents spend more money on Jewish education than on any other line item in their budget because this is so important to them. A boy learning Gemarah, Chumash, and ethics is receiving a very rigorous education. It’s not that our schools don’t educate our children; the only question is exactly how much secular education is needed to enhance that to produce a self- sufficient adult. That answer will vary based on mesorah. | JE 26 | Jewish Echo The Numbers Speak for Themselves

Excerpted from an article in the In Rockland County, Bais Yaakov of Congregation Jewish Press, written by Sandy Eller Ramapo’s 88.1 average surpassed the Machna Shalva public school’s 63.4. and Bais Rounding out the top 20 with Yaakov High average scores of 85.4 or better School elevant to the discussion are were Shulamith School for Girls of tied for Regents examination scores Brooklyn, Congregation Machne the second recently obtained by The Jewish Chaim, Torah Vodaath High School, highest Press under a Freedom of Mesivta Tiferes Yisroel, Bais Yaakov average with RInformation Law request. High School of Spring Valley, Bais a score of 92.7, These scores reveal that New York Menachem, Rambam Mesivta – two-tenths of a yeshivah students are outperforming Maimonides High School, Bais point ahead of the their public school peers in the four Brocho of Karlin Stolin, and Yeshiva Bais Esther School. core subjects of English, math, Ohr Shraga D’Veretzky. science, and history – by far. Shaar Hatorah students bested their In the Algebra 2/Trigonometry exam, Queens public school counterparts They show, for example, yeshivos yeshivos earned nine of the top 10 by 21.7 percentage points, while private school scores in the state. In earning 19 of the top 20 average Yeshiva Ohavei Torah of Riverdale’s Brooklyn and Queens, Machon Bais private school scores in New York’s average was 26.1 percentage points English Language Arts exam. Yaakov Hilda Birn High School, higher than that of Bronx public Beth Jacob School High School for Brooklyn’s Beth Jacob High School Girls, Bet Yaakov Ateret Torah High school students. for Girls’s 91.1 average was the School, Beth Jacob, Yeshiva Shaar Not surprisingly, similar results were highest in the state, with Bobov’s Hatorah High School, and Torah seen in the Physics Regents, where Congregation Machna Shalva, Shaare Academy for Girls all had average the highest average score in the state Torah, and Bais Yaakov Academy scores that beat public school results – 90.1 – was earned by Shevach High coming in with 89.6, 87.3 and 87.2, by over 20 percentage points. School in Queens, closely followed respectively – well ahead of the local public school average of 58.4. In Rockland County, Beth Rochel by Yeshiva of Far Rockaway and High School and Bais Yaakov Torah Academy for Girls High In Queens, Shevach High School and of Spring Valley bested their School, while local public school Torah Academy for Girls students peers’ average scores by over 15 students averaged just 71.8. averaged 88.4 and 87.4, respectively, percentage points, while in Nassau, Students at Mesivta Ateres Yaakov ahead of public school average of Hebrew Academy of Five Towns and 60.9. Rockaway students scored just over and the Davis Renov Stahler Yeshiva High School in Nassau County Students outside New York City fared 12 percentage points higher than averaged 83.2 and 82.1, ahead of the similarly, with Nassau’s Midreshet their public school counterparts. public school average of 77.5. Shalhevet Girls, Stella K. Abraham Seven out of the top 10 private school High School for Girls and Torah High scores reported in the Global History And in Brooklyn, Mesivta Tiferes School Long Beach averaging 90.2, Regents exam were also earned by Yisroel’s average of 88.1 was well 86.9, and 86.9, respectively, with yeshivas. While Brooklyn schools ahead of the public school average of public schools averaging just 61.8. averaged a score of 64.7, Bobov’s 73.2.

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Jewish Echo | 29 A RIDE TO WORK or VEHICLES OF VIOLENCE?

ENSURING CAR SERVICE SAFETY Ita Yankovich

30 | Jewish Echo than just a mode of transportation. It can Jews, Emunah takes passenger safety very ew be transformed into a deadly weapon, with seriously, according to Emil Sosunov, the passengers and pedestrians at the mercy of manager. He says they obtain their drivers Yorkers- the one behind the wheel. through classifi ed ads put in the Jewish Press and Russian-Jewish newspapers. Emunah and conducts a thorough criminal background N check on all applicants and examines their Jews Danger: Crazy driver’s license and insurance for validity. The company also makes sure that all their drivers especially- Driver board are knowledgeable and sensitive to the rules of The NYC Taxi and onLimousine Commission the Jewish community. were licenses, regulates, and enforces rules and laws Eastland and Nostrand Car Service are both in the taxicab and for-hire vehicle industries. located in Marine Park, and representatives horrified Every car service base, the vehicles affi liated from both companies were eager to speak with that base, and the individuals who drive with me as well. Eastland is located right back in them must hold TLC licenses. TLC Deputy across the street from two synagogues, a Commissioner for Public Affairs Allan J. mesivta, a yeshivah, a daycare, and several October Fromberg insists that passenger and driver Jewish stores. They are very protective of safety are of paramount importance to the the Jewish community that frequents their when they TLC. He explains that car service drivers' business. When it comes to screening their license applicants are fi ngerprinted and saw footage background-checked, drug-tested, and must be certifi ed fi t by a licensed physician. TLC of Lipa driver license applicants must also complete a 24-hour TLC driver education course and Schwartz pass an 80-question multiple choice exam on a computer with a grade of 70% or higher. being Finally, drivers must bear a Class E chauffeur’s brutally license. Fromberg says that Farrukh Afzal “is not beaten by and has never been a TLC licensee, nor does he own a TLC-licensed vehicle.” Afzal crazed has been issued summonses for unlicensed operation in the past. cab driver Car services aren’t the only ones to blame. In 2014, Uber said 475 licensed livery car Farrukh drivers in California applying to drive for Uber failed the company’s criminal Afzal in an background check, including 14 applicants with sexual offense records, 37 with DUIs, unprovoked and one with a record of attempted murder. drivers, Eastland managers check for a valid attack. How and why do car service companies hire license, verify insurance, and make sure the unqualifi ed drivers? How can passengers driver does not have any license points or stay safe while hailing a ride? These are the accidents on record. Management fi lters There are many shocking parts to this story, questions I set out to investigate. out poor drivers by paying close attention but perhaps one of the most glaring is that to their disposition during the interview and this incident occurred in broad daylight on interaction with dispatchers. “If we see that a Boro Park’s bustling Thirteenth Avenue - driver is acting wild or angry with the offi ce, and by a driver who is employed by Church License we will discard him. If he is nasty to us, we Avenue Car Service, a cab company used by and cannot imagine how he will be to our clients,” many Jews. As Afzal’s trial date approaches Registration, says a manager at Eastland. later this month, the question remains: How Please Carmine Guiga, a manager at Nostrand Car safe is it to hop into a cab these days? Service, has been in the business for 40 years. Cabs are quintessential New York fi xtures. I reached out to many local car service He says you just have to have an instinct According to the Taxi and Limousine companies to fi nd out how they obtain and when it comes to picking qualifi ed drivers. Commission, about 240 million people take screen their drivers. Many of the representatives The company follows protocol by making taxis each year. We use them to rush to work taking my call became hostile and refused to sure all applicants have a valid TLC license when the car won’t start, during bad weather answer even the most basic questions. and that they are in good standing with the when we don’t feel like walking, and Emunah Car Service is one of the few insurance company. Nostrand Car Service especially to places where parking is scarce. companies willing to be candid with me and visits the TLC Commission website at least As we’ve learned the hard way, a car is more answer my questions. Owned and run by once a month to make sure their drivers are

Jewish Echo | 31 clear of violations or suspensions. They also Always trust your intuition. If you have an are adamant that drivers keep current with Don’t Get into inkling of discomfort or sense something is drug testing, conducted once a year by the off, don’t get in the car. If you’re already on TLC Commission. Drivers must present their Car with the road and are in an emergency situation, call testing receipts to the dispatcher. When it Strangersa 911 immediately. comes to screening for mental health issues, There’s often safety in numbers. Try riding with Carmine admits that that is a lot harder but There are precautions you can take before a friend or two or consider using the carpool says that at a driver who is getting too old getting into a car with a driver you don’t option some ride-hailing services offer. In a or disgruntled on the job is politely asked know. 2007 press release, Shomrim recommended to retire. “We do not compromise on our Always confirm the name of the driver and that if you must use a car service, don’t just drivers,” he says. “We just have too much to make of the vehicle before you get in. When pick one out of the phone book; ask around. lose by cutting corners.” using a car service, make sure that the car Only use one – preferably heimish – that So, who is hiring those unqualified drivers? bears the company’s logo before you get people you trust have used and had a good in. Uber and Lyft offer passengers details experience with. Even so, be cautious. Never A car service dispatcher who asked not to such as the driver’s name, photo, and car allow unescorted children to ride in cabs; an be named says, “There are many companies type. You can also check out the driver ’s adult should go with them. Women should that do this. It’s a matter of survival. Rent is rating on these ridesharing apps. If you’re also be wary about riding alone. high, expenses are high, and these drivers uncomfortable with the rating, cancel your are just cheaper.” He says the practice of When it comes to international travel, the ride and call another. basic rules for staying safe are the same. hiring drivers without a clean record is One thing travelers should be mindful of is more common than we would like to think, Another smart idea is to open up your own using only licensed and marked taxis, with especially in New York where it is impossible maps tool, enter your destination and follow proof of legitimacy prominently displayed. for any driver not to get ticketed. along, noting any odd route shifts. Tourists who are not careful about this, Sosunov says that drivers are hard to come Etty Klein, 68, recalls a frightening ride she warns Professor Matt C. Pinsker, who by, which is why other companies resort to had a few years back which caused her to stop teaches homeland security and criminal employing unqualified men. Carmine agrees taking cabs. She called a popular car service justice at Virginia Commonwealth that some companies are “desperate for company in Boro Park to pick her up from University, may be taken by drivers who drivers and would rather take anyone than home and take her to a podiatry appointment. lure them with lower fares; that is a good have a car just sit out on the lot.” “The ride shouldn’t have been more than 15 way to get price gouged or even worse. minutes, but the driver was going further He also warns travelers that “a taxi driver Sosunov wants to point out though that away from my destination, on streets I didn’t who is overly interested in what you do for just because a driver has a “bad attitude or recognize,” she says. “I asked him many times a living is a possible red flag that you are energy” it is not necessarily an indication of why he was going this way, but he didn’t being vetted for a kidnapping.” poor mental health. Driving for eight hours respond.” Fearing for her life, Etty threw the a day is stressful, especially in Brooklyn. cab fare on the front seat and dashed out at Passengers should consider that perhaps the the next red light. “I shudder to think what Hailing driver had to deal with traffic, double-parked would have happened to me if the doors were a cars, and a rude customer in their previous locked,” she recounts. When she reported the Safe Ride drop off. “They are just men trying to earn a incident to the car service company that same I reached out to a few popular ride-sharing hard living; they are not all ‘crazy,’” he says. day, they denied that anything ever happened. companies operating in New York about

Tracking your Safety

Thanks to technology, there are ways to feel secure in a taxi. the Send ETA icon on the bottom bar, which will send a text You can let your family and friends track your ride so they know message to family or friends with a link to your current route and where you are if you are late, Uber, for example, has a mobile location. If your cab doesn’t have these features, you can take app that allows you to “share status” and also share your driver’s a picture of the car’s license plate and send the photo (and any name, photo, license plate, and location. They can then track additional details) to a family member or friend. your trip without downloading the Uber app. Lyft users can tap

32 | Jewish Echo how many incidents have been reported by a photo of the driver, the car riders in 2018. None of them responded with make and model, and the actual stats; instead, they focused on how license plate, all inside safety was a top priority. the app. If there is any Taxi Tips problem, Lyft has a Alix Anfang, an Uber spokesperson, critical response line, explains that there are many safety features which is accessible from made available through technology. For through the app 24/7 example, every trip is GPS tracked, and they and is the fastest way to Actualan also have a two-way feedback system and get a trained expert on the 24/7 support. Earlier this year, Uber added phone. Mathews also said new safety features and improvements that in any safety-related incident, Cabbie to their screening process including Lyft puts the participants’ accounts on hold as centralizing safety information in the app they investigate. They also recently announced Richard Kaufman, who works for and an emergency button for 911 assistance. that Lisa Monaco, U.S. homeland security and Lyft and Uber in New York, shared In September they announced a new Ride counterterrorism chief to President Obama, is these red flags to look out for when Check feature, address anonymization, serving as their safety advisor. you get into a cab: and two-factor authentication. “We also The 2018 TLC Fact Book estimates that • Unclean car have a team of former law enforcement from January 2016 to June 2018, TLC- professionals around the globe who are on • Lack of high-quality licensed vehicles and drivers completed call to work with police 24/7 to respond navigation system nearly 780 million trips. Taxis are here to to urgent needs and walk them through stay, and for many, they are a daily means of • Unfriendly and how we can assist in an investigation. This transportation. Most of the time, the rides are unknowledgeable driver team works to proactively educate law uneventful. However, considering the ever- • Face that doesn’t match the enforcement about how to reach us and get changing political and economic climate in ID on display the information they need through a valid this country and abroad, riders need to be legal process,” Anfang says. • Failure to display ID and extra vigilant and cautious of with whom license Campbell Mathews, communications they get into a car. Know what to look out manager at Lyft, said that Lyft riders receive for, stay alert, and be safe. | JE

Jewish Echo | 33 CONVENTION HIGHLIGHTS The overall program will c"qa be graced by the presence of Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim, shlita:

תשע"טDIRSHU INTERNATIONAL 2019 Almost CONVENTION שבת פרשת בא !Sold Out JANUARY 11-13, 2019 · ה'-ז' שבט, תשע"ט Shiurim in lomdus, Shirium in Comprehensive Tefillos and Motzei Shabbos/ drush and chizuk from Halacha from program for zemiros led by Grand Melave Malka Gedolei Yisrael and leading Poskim women R’ Isaac Honig with live music by oin together with Lomdei Dirshu leading Rabbonim and Dayonim & The Shira Choir The Berko Brothers Jto participate in the upcoming convention marking שבט This Celebrate outstanding Ameilus B’Torah – which will celebrate the tremendous achievements of many thousands from across all segments of Klal Yisrael who have learned MOTZEI SHABBOS PROGRAM OPEN TO THE PUBLIC Details Forthcoming Simchas Torah with accountability in an unprecedented way.

The event will be graced by Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei The Motzei Shabbos program at the convention will feature a presentation with details about the upcoming Once Again ... Yeshiva, and Rabbanim from across North America and תש"פ/abroad – all gathered for an uplifting maamid Dirshu World Siyumim 2020 of Kiddush Shem Shamayim and Kavod HaTorah. EUROPE: Mid/Late Jan. 2020 SOUTH AFRICA: Late Jan. 2020

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Dirshu Convention, Gedolim spread, Echo, 12-28-18.indd 2 12/24/2018 12:18:10 PM CONVENTION HIGHLIGHTS The overall program will c"qa be graced by the presence of Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim, shlita:

תשע"טDIRSHU INTERNATIONAL 2019 Almost CONVENTION שבת פרשת בא !Sold Out JANUARY 11-13, 2019 · ה'-ז' שבט, תשע"ט Shiurim in lomdus, Shirium in Comprehensive Tefillos and Motzei Shabbos/ drush and chizuk from Halacha from program for zemiros led by Grand Melave Malka Gedolei Yisrael and leading Poskim women R’ Isaac Honig with live music by oin together with Lomdei Dirshu leading Rabbonim and Dayonim & The Shira Choir The Berko Brothers Jto participate in the upcoming convention marking שבט This Celebrate outstanding Ameilus B’Torah – which will celebrate the tremendous achievements of many thousands from across all segments of Klal Yisrael who have learned MOTZEI SHABBOS PROGRAM OPEN TO THE PUBLIC Details Forthcoming Simchas Torah with accountability in an unprecedented way.

The event will be graced by Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei The Motzei Shabbos program at the convention will feature a presentation with details about the upcoming Once Again ... Yeshiva, and Rabbanim from across North America and תש"פ/abroad – all gathered for an uplifting maamid Dirshu World Siyumim 2020 of Kiddush Shem Shamayim and Kavod HaTorah. EUROPE: Mid/Late Jan. 2020 SOUTH AFRICA: Late Jan. 2020

BottomLineMG.com Be Part of a Truly NORTH AMERICA February 9, 2020 2701 SUMMER STREET STAMFORD, CT 06905 Uplifting Torah Experience The Motzei Shabbos / Grand Melave Malka program will feature the siyum on RESERVE NOW! Mishnah Berurah Chelek Gimmel of For reservations and information about the the Daf HaYomi B'Halacha Program complete Shabbos convention please call 888-5-Dirshu x.107 ERETZ YISRAEL or email [email protected] Early/Mid Jan. 2020

Yad Eliyahu Jewish Echo | 35

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Jewish Echo | 37 OPERATION INSPIRATION Rabbi Jonathan Gewirtz Broken Telephone Finding Eternal Lessons in Everyday Events

Prologue: After many years of being an we know the communication network is flawed clearly. The reason we think we’re not getting Observant Jew and taking note of things, I’ve and fueled by the desires of people to provide through is that Hashem doesn’t immediately decided to kick it up a notch and make it a juicy gossip and exciting details regardless of respond the way we want. However, everything conscious effort to look at things that happen accuracy or halachic permissibility. is working just as it should. Hashem has ideas and try to learn from them. Thus, we launch: That would be a great article by itself, except which we probably haven’t considered. Operation Inspiration. Join me, you’ll be glad that it’s too short for my task and it’s also not How often have we davened for something to you did! a one-off experience from which I learned a go through and when it doesn’t work out, we are There’s a game that many of you have lesson. grateful later on? I have a friend who was trying undoubtedly played at one time or another. The However, I DID take a lesson from another to get a big job from a client but was passed over name for it that I grew up with was “Telephone” “broken telephone.” One day, I received a for it. However, he had a small deal with that but in England, for example, it’s called “Chinese frantic voicemail from my boss asking me same client, and he had to chase him down to Whispers,” presumably because the words to call him back and telling me, “There’s get paid even a few hundred dollars. When he spoken may sound like another language. something wrong with your phone! It keeps realized this, he was so glad he didn’t get the Essentially, a group of children forms a line by going right to voicemail!” “big job” that would have cost him so much sitting next to each other. One person thinks of Well, I knew that nothing was wrong with my money he would never see! So, did Hashem hear a word or phrase and whispers it into the ear of phone and in fact, it was working just the way his prayers? You bet He did! the person next to them. The goal is to get the it was supposed to. I was sick and wanted to A woman complained to me that she couldn’t correct word out from the last listener at the end rest undisturbed, so I had turned it off for a have more children. I told her that Hashem of the line, but almost invariably it has morphed few hours. My boss didn’t know I was sick (I was in charge of children and finances. She and may sound nothing like the original word - don’t have to report directly to him on a daily and therein lies the fun. basis), and he wanted to speak to me at that didn’t have more children though. A few years later, she’s a divorced mother of two. Can you Whether due to impatience or anxiousness, the very moment. He was therefore frustrated and imagine if another child or two had been born? difficulty of clearly conveying the word through assumed something must be wrong with my Would that not have put more of a strain on her? a whisper, or intentional changes by some phone because why else would I not pick up? players, the end result is usually quite different He didn’t know what I had in mind and didn’t The lesson of my “broken telephone” is that from the original and is often amusing. think of it. He assumed something wasn’t when we don’t get out what we put in, it’s not There is a variant of this game called “Broken working, because to him, there could be no because there’s something wrong. It’s because Telephone” or “Rumors” in which players other logical reason I didn’t answer him. Hashem has made sure that it’s absolutely MUST change the word being conveyed. Then It made me think of how often we feel Hashem right. The line to Heaven is always in working the fun is seeing just how different the phrase isn’t hearing us or getting our messages. order. The question is if we can hear what can be made to sound. We pray to him and ask for things that we Hashem is trying to tell us. | JE Either of these is a great metaphor for lashon absolutely must have right now, and yet He seems to ignore us! Since that isn’t a possibility, hara and how likely it is that what you’re hearing Did you enjoy this column? Feedback is from someone about someone else has changed there must be some blockage impeding our welcome and appreciated. E-mail info@ words from getting through, right? JewishSpeechWriter.com to share your thoughts. dramatically from the original. It should make us You never know when you may be the lamp very hesitant to accept things at face value since In truth, Hashem has heard us loudly and that enlightens someone else.

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Why do we observe the commandments? I’d of people naturally revert to selfi shness absent and religion to overcome that nature. A society like to explore one view on what the mitzvos are fear of G-d. All of these mitzvos provide a cannot function selfl essly without G-d. We intended to accomplish. reminder of G-d’s role in our personal and need a plethora of mitzvos between man and national lives. These are more important, G-d and between man and himself to create the THE CONVERT’S SUMMARY because fear of G-d serves as our primary guard Torah society in which we properly observe our The starting point has to be that G-d does not against our own nature, therefore the basis of interpersonal mitzvos. need our observance. He is perfect without any interpersonal mitzvos. needs. The mitzvos must be for our benefi t. A Torah learning is intended for practice prospective convert approached Hillel and The commandments between man and himself, (Avos 4:5; Tosafos, Sotah 22b sv. le-olam). We asked to convert to Judaism on condition that i.e. to better himself and avoid physical and remember G-d constantly, in many different Hillel teach him Judaism while the convert spiritual danger, teach us what our neighbors ways throughout the day and the year, to stands on one foot. Hillel told him, “What is need. When we understand ourselves better, we maintain our devotion to His path. Love of hateful to you, do not do to others” (Shabbos can provide more appropriate help to others. G-d leads to imitation of G-d’s attributes of 31a). Hillel’s summary of interpersonal mercy and kindness. The Torah begins with G-d’s chessed of clothing Adam and Chavah This summary of Judaism is challenging. The commandments sounds like a Libertarian stance. He seems to be saying, “Leave and ends with G-d’s chessed of burying Moshe Torah’s laws can be divided roughly into three (Sotah 14a). The message to us should be clear. types: 1) between man and G-d, 2) between others alone.” Rav Stern disagrees with this man and man, and 3) between man and himself. interpretation. The Torah clearly phrases this On the one hand, chessed without How does Hillel’s concise description of only in positive language: “Love thy neighbor commandedness, without fear and love of G-d, the second type serve to cover all of Judaism? as yourself” (Lev. 19:18). Hillel softens the i.e. so-called tikkun olam, quickly runs off the Additionally, Rav Stern points out, many language because truly loving another as tracks of divinely commanded selfl essness — people act kindly to others while violating the oneself is impossible. However, the Torah still as can be seen by its championing the cause of other types of commandments. demands that we help others actively, rather forbidden relationships. On the other hand, so than merely avoiding harming them. We must much of our society has fallen into the traps of Rav Yosef Zechariah Stern (Tahaluchos Ha- be happy with the success of others, helping materialism. The greed and gluttony of much Aggados , ch. 5) says that Rashi and other them achieve it and refraining from halting its of contemporary Orthodox society betray a commentators struggled with this, and he offers progress. lack of commandedness, a selfi shness thinly his own answer. In short, the commandments cloaked in piety, a rampant navlus birshus ha- are intended to create the ideal political society, TODAY’S SOCIETY Torah (moral degeneracy within the technical an other-oriented community. The prospective We can question whether this approach seems limits of the Torah). convert asked Hillel for the center around plausible. If the goal is interpersonal behavior, which the entire Torah revolves; that center is all this effort we expend to learn Torah We need the mussar, the constant reminders is interpersonal commandments (type 2). useful? Where is the idea of developing a of our obligations, because we seem to forget However, given man’s selfi sh nature, Divine personal relationship with G-d? Ultimately, them too quickly. The Torah may seem like it command and enforcement is required. The who needs religion if society develops contains too many obligations, but we need commandments between man and G-d (type 1) positively without it? Rav Stern emphasizes them now more than ever to avoid the quicksand remind people of the severity of interpersonal that most mitzvos are not interpersonal. of materialism in which we struggle. | JE commandments (type 2) due to the Commander. The commandedness of interpersonal Without a Divine command, inevitably we commandments, the guidelines of halachah, would fail to treat each other properly. Even keep us from deviating. We were created as Rabbi Gil Student writes frequently on if we can fi nd the few exceptions, the majority selfi sh beings for good reasons and need G-d Jewish issues & runs TorahMusings.com. 42 | Jewish Echo The JCCMP Sefer Torah Campaign LETTERS THAT WILL last forever

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Jewish Echo | 43 CHOOSE TO SHINE Pinchos Shine

ast month in Redwood City, when the Model S crashed into it. Neither I was thinking about that driver sleeping California, Officer Art Montiel the autopilot system nor the driver saw the behind the wheel and how the cop saved of the California Highway Patrol white truck against the bright summer sky. him. How many of us get into our routines noticed something odd. He saw The Model S drove right under the trailer, and go on autopilot? How many times do L a car speeding down Highway shearing off the top of the Tesla and killing we wake up at Aleinu at the end of davening 101 at 70 miles per hour around 3:40 in the driver. and would be hard-pressed to confirm that the morning and the driver appeared to Uber was conducting a test drive of their be asleep. He turned on his lights and we carefully said all of the words in the autonomous software when the car struck prayers? Will we wake up after a forty-year sirens, but the car did not slow down. and killed a woman on a street in Tempe, career in the workforce and wonder what Fortunately, the offending vehicle was a Arizona. In this case, there was an happened to all of the time? Did we make Tesla Model S with autopilot. (While not emergency backup driver behind the wheel; yet a fully autonomous vehicle, the Tesla however, she was watching a TV show wise, engaged choices about how to spend cars equipped with Enhanced Autopilot on her phone instead of keeping her eyes our days? Did we “kill” ourselves at work, software can stay in a traffic lane, maintain on the road. Although internal cameras only to miss out on our children growing their speed, and even slow down or stop documented more than 200 times when she up? Sure, we have to make a living, but at when cars, pedestrians, or other obstacles looked away from the road, she denies that what cost are all of the extras? are detected ahead of it.) The officer radioed she used her phone before calling 911 to As I watch my grandkids learning their for backup and closed the highway behind report the crash. the errant car. He then pulled ahead of it first words and reaching new milestones, In 2014, California enacted regulations and slowly reduced his speed. The car I am reminded of sacrifices I had to make to require reporting of every incident behaved as programmed and slowed as well. to earn a paycheck. Would I go back and involving an autonomous vehicle. Since Eventually, Officer Montiel was able to get do anything differently if I had the chance? that time in that state alone there have been the car to stop. The officer later said it took a 104 such collisions. 49 of those occurred What advice would I give my own kids now while to wake the driver. Imagine going for in 2018. Most of these were ruled to be if they were to ask me? a drive then waking up on the highway with due to human error. A majority of those a police officer banging on your window. There are no time machines and no do-overs involved the test car being hit from behind The driver, a local government official, was in this life. The time to review our priorities while stopped at a red light, including arrested for DUI and is now free on bail, and make sure we are focusing on what is one by a bicycle. With millions of miles pending trial. logged in test drives to date, that reflects a truly important is right now, today, in this Another story involving a car on autopilot low overall percentage. Autonomous cars very moment. | JE did not end as safely. In Williston, Florida, are getting smarter, better, and safer. Tesla Navy veteran Joshua Brown had his Tesla already operates driverless trucks on some Model S on Autopilot. A semi-truck was highways. It will not be long before taxi I encourage you to share your own making a turn across a divided highway drivers go the way of elevator operators. stories at [email protected].

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Jewish Echo | 45 ASK THE THERAPIST ALEXANDER RAND LCSW R CASAC

Q

Our 16-year-old son is starting to rebel against our family’s values, and we have not been able to stop him. I am thinking of sending him to therapy but have been told that a therapist would validate his behavior without pointing out that what he is doing is wrong. I am afraid that this will make things worse. Is this the case? Or do therapists warn people about self-destructive behavior?

Thanks for the question. I think addressed in many different forums and able to “stop” your son. Instead of “stopping there are several facets to your mediums. One thing we are noticing is that him” we might shift the goal to “helping him question, and I hope I can many of the interventions that used to work make better choices.” A adequately address them all. in the past don’t seem to be effective. I think As far as a therapist’s role, there are many in particular utilizing the “power” we have We have been witnessing an assumptions about what therapy should or as parents/adults to try and limit/control ongoing rise in rebellious or “off the derech” shouldn’t be. While I can share with you the behavior in our children. I know many “good our children’s behavior seems to be more approach I use, it’s important to check the parents,” who despite their best efforts have and more ineffective. I am not advocating individual practices of each therapist. experienced this struggle with one (or more) abolishing all rules and consequences, but it of their children. Why this is happening is seems that those should not be the primary I believe that one of the primary roles beyond the scope of this article and has been tool in our toolbox. You mention not being of a therapist is to bring awareness and

46 | Jewish Echo understanding of why a person engages in recognizing and accepting all their parts in some of the immense pressure we can at a particular behavior and to examine the therapy, it may increase those behaviors. For times put on ourselves which can lead to pros and cons of this behavior. I do not example, a person might be holding on to power struggles and rifts in the relationship. believe that it is helpful for a therapist to anger at his spouse but not address it because Of course, prayer is something we can and try and persuade, instruct, or convince a of feared consequences such as retaliation should turn to. Without G-d’s help, none of client to make specifi c choices. * Even if a or divorce. Once he recognizes and accepts us could survive raising a teen. therapist attempted to “convince” a client this fear, he might allow himself to express to make different choices, he would likely the anger more fully. A child might act out *Of course, there is an exception. When the experience the same unsuccessful result as more intensely once he realizes that his client is engaging in dangerous behavior, the parents. The client would also likely lose parent can’t actually “control” him. Having we clearly advocate for the side of safety. trust and feel more unsafe in therapy. So the “freedom” to do what he wants might be And while parents have asked me at times while it can be frustrating to parents when the fi rst opportunity to stop batting against “Isn’t this behavior dangerous for my therapists aren’t instructing their children his parents and religion and instead look child’s soul?” it is usually detrimental for on how to behave, we can see how that at what is causing him to engage in these a therapist to share unsolicited religious would be both ineffective and potentially behaviors. Of course, anytime behavior values and beliefs. These are typically harmful to the patient’s progress. As far as worsens during therapy the therapist should deemed judgmental by the client, making “validating” what the client is doing, I think determine its cause. him or her feel unsafe in sharing anything the primary validation in therapy is helping As our children grow older, the natural about religious struggles. | JE them see that you understand what led to shift in chinuch seems to move from their choices (even the poor ones) and that instructing and perhaps enforcing behavior you don’t view them as “crazy” or “stupid.” to supporting, encouraging, and modeling Alexander Rand LCSW-R CASAC is a Although as you pointed out in the question, the attitudes we’d like them to adopt. I licensed clinical social worker and addictions there are times where one’s behavior might believe one of the hardest things for parents therapist. He currently maintains a private worsen while in therapy, we can view it to accept is that our children are separate practice in Brooklyn, NY and serves as an as a part of the process of getting better. human beings who will make their own adjunct professor at Brooklyn College and Sometimes a person will repress thoughts, choices in life, some of which will make us Touro College Graduate feelings, and behaviors that are unwanted proud and some that will be hard to accept. School of Social Work. He can be reached or unacceptable, and when they start Being able to embrace that can alleviate at [email protected] or at 917-880-9576.

Jewish Echo | 47 Cooking with

Guilt-Free TREATS Naomi Hazan | @onelifetoeat

These treats are just as delicious as they are healthy. As winter frost billows outside, hang out in your kitchen and try out these clean dessert recipes that will have your kids believing they’re the real thing. Both recipes are fully gluten-free and vegan friendly!

48 | Jewish Echo INGREDIENTS: Pinch of salt GLUTEN FREE LEMON ¹⁄₃ cup tapioca starch FOR THE FILLING: ¹⁄₃ cup potato starch CURD TART 1 cup lemon juice 2 tbs. agave/maple syrup Who doesn't love a traditional French tart? ½ cup water ¼ tsp. baking soda The lemon curd filling here is light and 1½ cups sugar refreshing, and the crust is satisfyingly ¼ cup cornstarch crisp - a perfect combination. Preparation: 1 tsp. lemon zest (or 1/2 tsp. lemon extract) 1. In a saucepan, mix the lemon juice, water, sugar, and Pinch of salt cornstarch together. 6 tbs. milk (or nondairy milk) 2. Over medium heat, whisk until 2 tbs. butter/margarine (or firm the mixture comes to a boil. coconut oil) 3. Boil for 1 minute until thickened. FOR THE DOUGH: 4. Remove from heat and whisk 2 cups blanched almond flour in the zest, margarine, milk, 2 tbs. oil and salt. 1 egg white (vegan option: 2 tbs. 5. Cover and refrigerate for at ground flax seed mixed with 6 least 2 hours or overnight. tbs. water) 6. For the crust: In a bowl combine the almond flour, baking soda, salt, tapioca, and potato starch. 7. Add the egg, oil, and agave syrup, and knead well until a slightly crumbly ball of dough forms. 8. In between two sheets of parchment paper, roll out the dough to 1/8-inch thickness. 9. Press the dough into a (9 or 12 inch) tart pan. It’s okay if the dough cracks; just use your fingers to press it together. 10. Prick holes into the bottom of the crust, then bake on 350 for 12 to 15 minutes until firm. 11. Once baked, allow to cool for 15 minutes over a cooling rack, then fill with the lemon curd. Refrigerate for 2 hours for best results.

Jewish Echo | 49 GLUTEN-FREE LINZER COOKIES These cookies will give you all the childhood feels! They’re sweet, perfectly crumbly, and delicious.

INGREDIENTS: Preparation: festive look, use a smaller cookie ½ cup gluten-free flour 1. Preheat your oven to 350F. cutter to cut a hole in the center of the cookies. ¼ cup almond flour 2. In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, ½ tsp. baking powder almond flour, sugar, baking powder, 5. Bake on a parchment paper lined baking tray for 9 to 12 minutes until Pinch of salt and salt. lightly golden brown. Once cooled, 2 tbs. light brown sugar 3. Add the oil, milk, and vanilla extract, and mix until a ball forms. fill the cookie sandwiches with 1/2 2½ tbs. oil teaspoon of your favorite filling then 4. In between two sheets of parchment 1½ tbs. milk dust with powdered sugar. Store in an paper, roll the dough to 1/8-inch airtight container. ¼ tsp. vanilla extract thickness, then cut out circles using a Your favorite jam/preserves for filling 3-inch round cookie cutter. For a more

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Jewish Echo | 51 JOINING THE MARINE [PARK] CORE! Rabbi Hillel L. Yarmove

The Miracles Around Us:

Autumn Is Now Behind Us; Spring (!) Is Up Ahead (A Post-Chanukah Essay)

Yes, I too miss the excitement, the spiritual you purchase the right bakery brand in That being so, I suppose that I shouldn’t zest, conveyed by Chanukah. And the fast Yerushalayim, you can even have your bread have been so amazed back in November to day of Asarah B’Teves reminds me that remind you that it too is a “neis gadol.” discover that a lone dogwood tree growing in this day commemorates the opening phase (Glance at my accompanying photograph.) Seagull Square near an NPGS supermarket of those unfortunate events which were to My rebbi muvhak, Harav Yehudah Leib appeared resplendent in its partly-colored lead up to the destruction of the fi rst Beis Potashnik, zt”l, was fond of averring that autumn foliage—while beautiful, spring- Hamikdash so long ago. in the pasuk in Tehillim (136:25) “Nosein like blossoms festooned that very tree. The lechem l’chawl basar, ki l’olam chasdo,” And oh, I almost forgot! Winter offi cially message? Spring is actually coming closer “lechem” (bread) and “chasdo” (His loving- arrives at the end of December. Does and closer to us, day by day—even in the kindness) share the same gematriya, 78. In anybody out there yearn for some nice, fall. Talk about paradoxes, will you! other words, we are being told that were it scintillating miracles just about now? not for Hashem’s kindness to mankind, bread No, speak about Hashem’s miracles instead: If you happen to be one of those “anybodies,” would turn out to be no more nourishing for they are His constant reminders to us of His then this column is dedicated to you. I us than cardboard! all-encompassing providence. should know, for I am also an “anybody”! And so it is with the world around us. Think Gevaldig! | JE Indeed, as I gaze out my patio window, I about it. Erev Shabbos candle-lighting fl inch as I observe that everything seems to is already later this week than it was last be so gray and lifeless. Oh, for a lightening, week. And would you believe it? I actually illuminating miracle! saw little golden-yellow incipient blossoms Questions or comments? I may be reached at “Neis gadol hayah po!” That’s what on some forsythia bushes on my way back [email protected]. Enjoy an edifying the Israeli dreidelach proclaim. Why, if home from shul this past Shabbos! winter, dear readers!

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Jewish Echo | 53 54 | Jewish Echo Jewish Echo | 55 TEEN STORY CLASS PRESIDENT

’m a rule follower. A people pleaser. to my parents’ chagrin). I had a million bags But anyway, what happened is this: Life’s just easier that way, most of the on me, wasn’t feeling great, and needed the Rebbi announced on Monday that we would time. Keep the peace. Don’t make trouble. rush of cool air that comes through when be voting for class president. That’s more It’s a smoother ride through life when you’re sitting beside an open window. exciting than it sounds since around here the Ieveryone’s happy and you’re not stirring the But I just sat there, getting more and more position involves a lot of responsibility and pot. It’s easier to throw up your hands and nauseous, because it was my turn for the also missing class from time to time to plan say I did what I could instead of trying to middle seat. or discuss things with Rebbi. But before we break down doors, force through barriers. It’s why I’m sitting here at my desk writing could vote, we had to make nominations. That’s pretty much why much of my life this, because the rest of the guys said there’s Each of us had to take a paper and write is the way it is: like a straight narrow road. no more room for another player in their down the boy we thought would be the best Hardly any bumps, but no thrilling curves game, and I just said ok and went back candidate; if we wanted to run, we could either. Boring, but predictable. I don’t mind; inside. (I’m not great at sports anyway, but write down our own names. Then Rebbi I like it that way. that probably doesn’t shock you.) would select the top three names, and after two days of campaigning, we’d have our Of course, there are lots of times when I You’re probably thinking that you know offi cial vote. end up with the worse end of the proverbial where this is headed, that I’m going to tell stick, simply because I just go along with you about how one day I found myself in a I immediately wrote down the name Dovid things. situation where this type of mentality didn’t Leiberman, who is not only a class leader Like last week, when my teacher gave me work, where I had to break a rule or be more but also super-organized and a great student. a B+ on an essay I knew deserved an A. I assertive. To really fi ght for something, go I assumed at least half the class would put knew that if I argued, begged, and/or got my against the tide. him down too. Of course, I gave no thought mother involved, there was a good chance at all to the position myself. But, no. That didn’t happen. she’d raise my grade. But I didn’t do any of Boy, was I in for a surprise. that. I just put my paper in my folder like You’re probably disappointed because that’s nothing happened and went about my day. what everyone likes to read, how the quiet After recess, when he’d had a chance, Rebbi pushover suddenly found his voice, his read his short list of nominees. Or yesterday, when it was my turn for the wings to fl y. dreaded middle seat in the car (my siblings “Dovid Leiberman.” and I will probably insist on turns with these A quiet pushover isn’t considered an Claps, cheers. No surprise there. Dovid kinds of things until we are married, much admirable thing to be. looked suitably pleased but not quite 56 | Jewish Echo shocked. “The boys picked you.” you because you’re loud or quiet, a leader “Moshe Klein.” “But that just doesn’t make any sense!” I or a follower. They chose you because they think you’re a nice kid who can do a good Another obvious choice. Mosh always said. I was getting agitated. “Who’d pick me job. And I think they’re right.” gets fi rst pick at football, and he’s always over Dovid?” organizing things like surprise parties or “Why?” asked Rebbi. “Why do you say I thought about that after Rebbi left the afterschool games. that?” room. And I’m still thinking about it now as “Daniel Bernstein.” “Come on.” I snorted. “Dovid’s fun. He stirs I sit here at my desk, listening to the noise fi ltering into the classroom from the hall. Wait a minute, I thought. That’s me! things up. Makes a lot of noise. Same with Mosh. I’ve never even called out during I’m not the type who thinks into things a lot, I was sure it was a mistake. But no, it really class.” and I sure never spent time analyzing my was me. “Well,” said Rebbi. “Maybe that’s a personality. It was only when I was pulled I’m sure you can guess that campaigning’s positive.” into the limelight that I started to think that not really my thing, although I did try. I made maybe the way I am is not a good thing, that “No,” I replied. “It’s not. Maybe that’s true some signs and brought in donuts for the the boys couldn’t possibly appreciate me for at your age, but when you’re a kid in school, class, as per my older sister’s advice. I gave a who I am. little speech. But I didn’t expect to win. you need to know how to shake things up, especially if you’re class president. That’s But lucky for me, they did. They do. They I won. why I think it was rigged. I don’t think chose me. As the class whistled and hollered, as my anyone voted for me. You chose me. The best friend Abie pounded me on the back, I pushover.” Sometimes we think it’s best to be loud, and outgoing, a leader. The type that will fi ght didn’t even crack a smile. This time, I was “Daniel,” Rebbi repeated. “The boys chose for his way or break the rules sometimes. sure it was a mistake. you. They voted for you.” So, when I met with Rebbi at recess for our But what I’ve learned today is that that’s just Rebbi looked at me for a moment and not true. So as class president I won’t make fi rst “meeting ” earlier today, the fi rst words continued. “Daniel, you’re responsible. a lot of noise; I know no one expects me to. that popped out of my mouth were, “Why’d You follow the rules. You don’t argue with you pick me?” people. That doesn’t make you a pushover. But I will do the best I can, in my own quiet Rebbi smiled. “I didn’t pick you,” he said. It makes you, you. The boys didn’t choose way. | JE

A

Jewish Echo | 57 JM 101 Hillel Kapnick

Hope you’re having a great day! Join me while I take you through some of the latest and greatest releases within our exciting Jewish music world!

Chony Milecki - The Great Farby “ Adama V’Shamayim.” Matt Dubb has released patiently to hear some new music from Zevi Chony is world renown for being one of the most yet another track for us to enjoy. This track is a Kaufman. The wait is fi nally over! This exciting popular one-man bands on the simchah scene remix of “Eliyahu Hanavi” originally performed new release was composed by Mordechai Brezel What many don’t know, is that Chony is a brilliant by Dudi Feldman and Sruly Lipschitz. It features and features a stunning arrangement by dynamic producer as well, and for those just hearing this vocals by Munch a.k.a. Menachem Weinstein duo Eli Klein and Yitzy Berry. who does a great job adding the perfect vocal and for the fi rst time, this album is defi nitive proof of the right vibe to this track. that! This album features some of your favorite Relax 10 fabrengen hits sung by a large group of talented From MRM Music comes a new volume in the vocalists including Yoni Z, 8th Day, Benny Waterbury Mesivta - Show Me Relax Super Collection Mix series. This album Friedman, Beri Weber, Shmueli Ungar, Yanky The Way was expertly arranged by Ephraim Berkowitz Lemmer, and Chony himself! The music is Yossi Landau and Moshe Teller, are both at Keybird Studios. Featuring 31 tracks with a expertly arranged to keep you dancing throughout bochurim in Yeshiva Ateres Shmuel, otherwise diverse mix of current songs and memorable the entire album. known as the Mesivta of Waterbury. While in oldies, this album is sure to provide you yeshivah, both Moshe and Yossi had started to with relaxing melodies that will refresh and develop their skills not just as vocalists, but as Yehuda Freundlich - Yesh Hakol invigorate you throughout your day. composers and songwriters. While we’ve all heard Although Yehuda has been dabbling in music the saying “two heads are better than one,” Yossi from a very young age, this is his fi rst debut into actually put it into practice and asked Moshe to Asher Laub - Neon Dreams the Jewish music world as a professional vocalist. join him in completing the lyrics for the song, as Asher Laub is no stranger to the Jewish music This track composed by Yitzy Waldner, with well as getting his input on the music. From there scene. For many years he has been a sought- lyrics from Miriam Israeli, has a great message I had the pleasure of stepping in to produce and after violinist at many simchos throughout and who better to help transmit that message arrange the track with a goal of making sure such the country and although many may be used through music than Doni Gross who arranged intense but relatable lyrics would be transmitted to seeing him enhance a chuppah, or even this hit! After hearing this hit, I’m sure we’ll be in the most powerful and meaningful way. Show add a new dimension to a dance set, this is hearing the name Yehuda Freundlich much more! Me The Way is the product of our teamwork. This something really special. Asher has developed song validates all those who have ever struggled his own style of playing that instead of adding to fi nd their path in life and brings hope to those Matt Dubb ft. Munch - Eliyahu to a typical wedding band, all but replaces still on their own personal journeys. Hanavi them! Beginning with a fresh new sound of Matt Dubb has made quite a name for himself contemporary electronic music, Asher’s violin producing tracks through the years with Lipa Zevi Kaufman - Ki Tov Hashem cuts through this single and will pull you out Schmeltzer, Pumpedisa, and Zusha to name a few. Following the release of his debut album and of your chair so you can start dancing to the And by now there’s no question that you’ve heard then a few singles since, we’ve all been waiting beat! | JE

Hillel Kapnick is a Producer/Singer/Musician/DJ based in Monsey, NY. He owns and operates Uptop Recording Studios (Monsey, NY), and sings and plays at simchos with his orchestra and One Man Band regularly. Hillel can be reached for questions, comments, or bookings at [email protected] or through his website @ www.HillelKAPS.com

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Waiting in the Wings

Her eyes, wide and wet with tears, stare at Fast forward to the next day. me accusingly. been giving me mixed answers. She comes off the bus noticeably calmer. A lot of us have older kids now, and yet “So, you won’t call the school and tell on No quivering lower lip, no crocodile tears. them?” she whimpers. “You won’t ask the many of my friends still act like they did principal to stop them?” “How was the bus ride?” I ask hesitantly. when their kids were getting pushed around on the playground. Just recently, I had a “It’s not a problem anymore,” she says When I shake my head, she throws her group of friends who called their daughters’ with a shrug. hands up in despair. “I told my friends my high school to make sure their daughters got mother would for sure call!” Yes! into dance in their high school productions. I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry My daughter learned to cope with One friend explained, “Why should my at the theatrics of it all: her quivering adversity. She learned to stand on her daughter lose out on an opportunity just lower lip, her crestfallen expression, the own two feet. She learned that she doesn’t because a twelfth grader might not know crocodile tears. Is this child of mine an need her mother to come running to her her name? If I can help her out, why award-winning actress, or is she really rescue – she can manage all on her own wouldn’t I?” that devastated? “Did you speak up for yourself?” I ask. It didn’t sit right with me. “Or, did you ignore it and realize it wasn’t Relying on my binah yisreira (loosely Back in the day, I tried out for drama every such a big deal after all?” translated as women’s intuition), I’m year of high school, and never got even going with Choice A. And with that same “Dina’s mother called the school,” my one speaking line. Instead, I got lumped instinct, I make my decision. daughter says coolly, “and the principal together with everyone else in choir, even Sorry, bubbaleh, but as long as no one is spoke to the eighth graders. They were a though I can barely carry a tune. And I had bullying you, or threatening your well- lot quieter today, and they let me sit in one a blast, nonetheless. being, I’m not sounding the alarm about of the middle seats.” Choir might not have given me a chance annoying singing. Dina’s mother called – and now everything to show off my talents, but it taught me Yes, that’s the crisis we’re dealing with here. is perfect again. that I had to roll with life’s punches. “Tehilla, darling, I’m sorry that the The guilt sets in. Was I too quick to I like to see my role as a mother as one eighth-grade bus monitors are bossy and dismiss my daughter’s concerns? But that requires me to be waiting in the wings, like to sing so loudly, but I don’t think it’s even as I feel guilty, I chafe at my self- watching carefully from the sidelines but appropriate for me to go into the school recriminations. Is it really my role as her never making my way toward center stage. and complain on your behalf,” I say. mother to run interference every time she It’s my child who is in the spotlight. It’s encounters something she doesn’t like? Cue the waterworks. my child who might take pratfalls, who I have this dilemma all the time. might struggle to fi nd the right line, who “But Ma! They’re so mean! They sing might feel the sting of disappointment their camp songs at the top of their lungs,” My kids are always asking me to intervene on when the applause doesn’t come easily. she retorts. “And they take the front seats their behalf – i.e. call the teacher about a bad I can coach her, provide cues, offer my for themselves and make us sit at the back grade or call a neighbor’s mother because of advice, cheer for her in my loudest and of the bus!” poor sportsmanship during a ball game – and I am usually loath to get involved. Don’t they proudest voice, and let her know I am her “Sorry, honey. You’ll just have to put up need the coping skills to deal with situations biggest fan – always. with it. When you’re a monitor one day, that don’t always go their way? But by waiting in the wings, I can make sure you can be nice and let the third-graders she knows she can grow her own wings. sit in the front seats. Until then, I’d be When should we speak up and smooth the happy to buy you a pair of earplugs.” path for our children – and when should And that is the role I treasure most. we demand that our children smooth their Maybe I can convince them (and myself) “You just don’t understand,” she moans as paths themselves? I’ve been asking this that if we have less, then less is all we she walks away. question a lot lately – and my friends have need. | JE 60 | Jewish Echo 60 | Jewish Echo Now More Than Ever Workers’ Compensation The right health benefits choices can do more for your business. In today’s dynamic health insurance environment, there’s never been a better time for you and your employees to have Aflac, consumers’ most preferred choice for Accident, Major Medical Disability, Cancer and Critical Illness coverage. 1 Here’s why: Aflac

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A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO: Jewish Echo | 61 MAZEL TOV! L’zchus Refuah Shelaima for Alter Mordechai Tzvi ben Eka Breina

Births: 11/19 - Mr. and Mrs. Mutty Stein on the birth of a girl! 11/25 - Mr. and Mrs. Avrohom Slomowitz on the birth of a girl! 12/4 - Mr. and Mrs. Moshe Katz on the birth of a girl! 12/8 - Mr. and Mrs. Azarya and Sara Feig on their daughter’s Kiddush! Special mazel tov to the entire Feig, Goldman, Hardt, Buckman, Reisman, Press and Katz families! 12/8 - Mr. and Mrs. Yona and Vicky Urszuy on the birth of a boy! Special mazel tov to Rabbi and Rebbetzin Lenny and Flo Goldberg! 12/9 - Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Schonbrun on the birth of a girl! 12/17 - Mr. and Mrs. Avrami and Rivkah Kahn on the birth of twin boys! 12/19 - Mr. and Mrs. Shmuli Silberstein on the birth of a girl!

Bar/Bas Mitzvahs: 11/18 - Mr. and Mrs. Moshe Meir Michaeli on Yechiel’s putting on tefi llin! 11/19 - Rabbi and Mrs. Ansbacher on a grandson’s bar mitzvah! 11/19 - Mr. and Mrs. Chaim Fuhrer on a grandson’s bar mitzvah!

Engagements/Weddings: 11/27 - Mr. and Mrs. Naftali and Bayla Minzer on Rachel’s engagement to Yoel Weiss from Los Angeles! 12/9 - Mr. Shloime Kugel and Mrs. Chaya Kugel on Leba Sheva’s upcoming marriage! 12/15 - Mr. and Mrs. Herzog on Levi’s engagement to Shaina Katz! 12/20 - Mr. and Mrs. Shaya Kastner on their grandson Zundel’s engagement to Gail Hirsch!

To submit and view simchas online, visit www.azaryafeig.com/simchas

62 | Jewish Echo 62 | Jewish Echo Allan H. Glazer F Lenbar Consulting

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"Networking will make you more successful" Jewish Echo | 63 Shacharis: Sunday 8:20, 8:45, 9:20, & 10 M-F Shacharis Sun: 8:00 Shacharis Mon/Thu: ADAS YESHURIN BAIS MOSHE 6:20, 8:15 Sh 10:15 Mincha: 7:20 Shabbos 6:20 Shacharis T/W/F: 6:30 Shacharis Rosh Rabbi Avrohom Klein Mincha: 1:30 Motsei Shabbos Maariv: 42 min Chodesh: 6:20 Shabbos Shacharis: 9:00 3418 Avenue N - 718.338.9414 Maariv: M-Th 7:35 Shacharis: Sunday 8:00, M-F FLATBUSH PARK JEWISH CENTER 6:30, Sh 8:55 Mincha: 1:30 and 10 CHAIM BERLIN ALUMNI MINYAN Rabbi Yisroel Perelson minutes before shkiya, M-Th Maariv: Rabbi Yehoshua Rapps - 3501 Quentin Rd. 6363 Avenue U - 718.444.6868 M-Th 9:15, Sh 50 min after shkiah Shabbos Shacharis: 8:30 Mincha: 6:30 Shacharis: Sunday 8, M-F 6:10 & 8, Sh 7:15, Maariv: 8:36 9 & 9:25 Mincha: 7:00, Sh changes with time AGUDATH ISRAEL OF MADISON Motsei Shabbos Maariv: changes with time ZICHRON CHAIM TZVI CONG. BEIT HILLEL OF FLATBUSH Rabbi Reisman KHAL SHAAREI SHALOM 2164 Ralph Avenue (corner of Ave. L) 2122 Avenue S (Corner of E. 22 St.) Rabbi Raphael Bernstein, 2961 Nostrand Ave (718) 763-2400 Shacharis Sun: 6:20, 7:15, 8:00, Shacharis Shacharis: Sh 8:30 Shacharis Sun: 8:30 Shacharis Mon/Thu: 6:20 Mon/Thu: 6:20, 7:15, 8:00 Shacharis T/W/F: Shacharis T/W/F: 6:10 Shacharis Rosh 6:20, 7:15, 8:00 Mincha: At shkiah (also 1:40 KHILAH MARINE PARK Chodesh: 6:00 Mincha: Usually 5 mins. before on Sunday) Maariv: 8:00, 9:00, 9:35, 10:00, Rabbi Boruch P. Mendelsohn shkiah, text the Rabbi at 347-407-1842 and 30 minutes after shkiah Friday Mincha: 10 3605 Quentin Rd - 646.339.3364 Maariv: Follows Mincha Friday Mincha: 10 minutes after candlelighting, Shacharis Sh: 8:30 Shacharis: Sunday 7:45, M/Th 6:20, T/W/F minutes after candle lighting (7:00 Pesach to 6:25, Sh 9 Mincha: Sun-Th 10 min before Rosh Hashanah) Shabbos Shacharis: 9:00 shkiah, Fri 10 min before shkiah, Sh 10 min BAIS MORDECHAI D’BERTCH Shabbos Mincha: 1.15 hr before Shabbat ends, before licht Maariv: M-Th Shkiah & 9:30, Sh Rabbi Zvi Elimelech Rokeach followed by Seudah Shlishit. (Shabbat Ladies & 50 min after shkiah 3302 Ave P - 718.376.1541 Men Classes 1 hr. before Mincha)

Shacharis: Sunday 6:20, 8, 9, M-F 6:20 Special Note:Shabbat morning Ashkenaz, all KINGSWAY JEWISH CENTER & 7:15, Sh 9 Mincha: S-Th 10 minutes other tefillos Sefard. Twitter @rabbifine before shkiya, Sh 1:45 & 5 min after licht Rabbi Eitan Tokayer Maariv: S-Th after Mincha, 8:45, 10:00 2810 Nostrand Ave - 718.258.3344 & following Mincha, F, 5 minutes after CONG. BNEI YESHIVOS/IMREI TZVI Shacharis: Sun 7:30 & 8:30, M-F 6:30 & candle lighting, Sh Mincha 1:45 and Rabbi Moshe Schneirman 7:30, Sh 8:45 Mincha: Sun-Th 15 min before 5 minutes after candle lighting, Motsei 2402 Avenue P shkiah, Fri 10 min after licht, Sh on the Shabbos Maariv: 15 minutes before 72 Shacharis Sun: 6:40, 7:30 Shacharis Mon/ quarter hour before Shkiah Maariv: S-Th 10 Thu: 6:25, 7:25 Shacharis T/W/F: 6:40, 7:30 min after Mincha, Sh 45 min after shkiah BAIS HAMEDRASH OF FLATBUSH Maariv: 8:15, 9:30 10:00 Shacharis Sun: 6:20, Rabbi Tzvi Yaakov Zolty, 1485 E 29th St 7:15, 8:00 Shacharis Mon/Thu: 6:20, 7:15, 8:00 KOLLEL MAKAROV Shacharis: Sunday 8, M/Th 6:55, T/W/F 7, Sh Shacharis T/W/F: 6:20, 7:15, 8:00 Mincha: Rabbi Tzvi Twersky, 3118 Quentin Rd 8:30 Mincha: S-Th 20 min before shkiah, Fri 6 At shkia (also 1:40 on Sunday) Maariv: 8:00, Shacharis: Sun 8:30, M-F 7, Sh 9 Mincha: min after licht, Sh 30 min before Shkiah Maariv: 9:00 9:35, 10:00, and 30 minutes after shkiah Sun-F 10 min after candle lighting, Sh 6 & 10 S-Th after Shkia & 9:30, Sh 50 min after shkiah Friday Mincha: 10 minutes after candlelighting min before licht Maariv: Sun-Th following Shabbos Shacharis: 8:30 Mincha & 9:50, Sh 50 min after shkiah BNEI TORAH BAIS NAFTOLI Rabbi Benzion Schiffenbauer CONG. NACHLAS DOVID MAYAN YISROEL 3514 Flatlands Ave- 718.316.8241 Rabbi Daniel Kleinman Rabbi Yosef Vigler Shacharis: Sunday 8:00, M-F 6:30 & 7:30 Sh 8:45 1589 E. 28th St - 718.753-4455 3315 Avenue N - 718-781-5192 Mincha: S-Th 10 min before shkiah, Fri 10 min Shacharis: Sun 8, M/Th 6:20, 7:20 T/W/F Shacharis: Sunday 8 & 9, M-F 7 & 7:45, after licht, Sh 10 min before licht Maariv: S-Th 6:30, 7:30, Sh 8:45 Mincha: (during DST): Sh 9 Mincha: S-Th 10 min before shkiah, Fri after Mincha & 9:15, Sh 50 min after shkiah 10 minutes before shkiya, Friday Mincha: 15 min after licht, Sh At licht Maariv: S-Th 5 minutes after Hadlakas Neiros Maariv: after Mincha, Sh 60 min after licht BNEI TORAH OF MARINE PARK Follows Mincha during DST; 9:15 Winter Rabbi Yonasan Epstein - 3523 Avenue S MERKAZ YISRAEL OF MARINE PARK Shacharis: Sunday 7:45, M-F 6:55, Sh 8:30 CONG. NER L-MEIAH Rabbi Elisha Weiss Mincha: Sun 10 min before shkiah, Fri 5 min Rabbi Baruch Goldstein, 2876 Nostrand Avenue 3311 Avenue S - 718.376.5200 after licht, Sh at licht Maariv: Sun following Shacharis: Sun 7:15,8 M-F 6:30,7:30, Shacharis: Sunday 8:30, M-F 6:30; T, W, Fr Mincha, Sh 50 min after shkiah Sh 9 Mincha: Sun 10 min before 6:25, Sh 9 Mincha: Sun 10 minutes before Shkiah, Fri 10 min after Licht Maariv: 9 Shkia; Sh 25 minutes before Shkiah Maariv: CHABAD OF MARINE PARK S-Th At 8:00, Friday 10 Min after licht; Motzei Rabbi Levi Hendel CONG. ZICHRON MOSHE FEINSTEIN Shabbos 68 minutes after candle lighting 3040 Nostrand Ave - 718.377.1770 Rabbi Rappaport 6315 Strictland Ave 64 | Jewish Echo MILL BASIN SEPHARDIC CONG. Rabbi Yirmi Levi 2133 E. 64th St - 718.801.3080 Shacharis: Sun 8, M-F 7, Sh 8:45 Mincha: Sun-Th 7:30 Maariv: 8

OHR YISRAEL Rabbi Avrohom Zucker 2899 Nostrand Ave - 718.382.8702 Shacharis: Sun 8, M-F 6:10 & 8, Sh 7:15, 9:00, 9:25 Mincha: Sun-Th 2:45, F 10 min before shkiah, Sh 25 min before shkiah Maariv: Sun-Th 9:45, Sh 50 min after shkiah

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רצועות Shacharis: Sun 7, 8, 9 & 9:30 M-F 6:25, 7, 7:30, 7:55, How about your רצועות Sh 7:10 & 9 Mincha: Sun-Th 10 min before - Do you know that many 9:05 & 8:30 sunset, Sun 12:40 Fri 10 min after licht, Sh at licht Maariv: develop white spots rendering them touch של יד ?פסול of the קשר S-Th 9:30 & 10:15, Sun 8:20, Sh 10 min after sunset - Does the at all times? בית the YESHIVAH GEDOLAH OF MILL BASIN Rabbi Yehudah Brick, 2114 E 66 St .בתים מאכער checked and repaired by an expert רצועות and בתים Shacharis Sunday-Friday 8:00 Have your Call R' Chaim Zvi Landy (347) 576 - 0231 Computer checkingJewish also available Echo | 65 . גם בודקים ומוכרים תפילין ומזוזות Same day service on some repairs Can't build out? Build UP! 100% Financing Available

66 | Jewish Echo Tu BiShvat ECHOES And when the world looks pristine, all dressed in winter white When against the pale skies are branches laced with ice It’s then that magic all unfolds beneath the powdery earth As dormant roots begin to stretch and ready for rebirth On tables fi lled with bounty, with fruits of every shade We celebrate the trees’ cornucopian parade While icy chill and frigid gusts bellow from outside We recognize that winter’s ‘bout to end its terror ride And thus we send a message as we bask in nature’s treats That even in the coldest times, there will yet be some heat Every winter’s followed by the spring, then summer’s rays And every dark and stormy night is followed by the day There’s hope and faith spread out right there, amid our fruitful feast A lesson borne beneath the ground, the message of the trees. | JE

Jewish67 Echo| Jewish | 67 Echo January 2019 Volume 2 Issue 62 Non Profi t Org. Jewish Community US Postage Council of Marine Park PAID 2076 Flatbush Avenue BROOKLYN, NY Brooklyn, NY 11234 523

D EXCITING PR AN OGR ei Olam Aw as Hatov A NEW AM Bon ard Hakur ward MR. & MRS. MR. & MRS. BONEI OLAM MUTTY TREFF YOSSIE LIPSCHITZ כתר תורה AROUND THE WORLD ing Worlds Aw r Shem Tov A Build ard esse ward K הרה"ג רבי ברוך גאלדשטיין שליט"א .MR. & MRS רב דקהל נר למאה .MR. & MRS YOSSI FREIER RABBI BORUCH GOLDSTEIN DOVID BAKST International Cocktail Buffet RAV D'KHAL NER L-MEIAH Kesser Torah Award EXPERIENCE THE TASTES & CUISINES OF BONEI OLAM’S HOST COMMUNITIES ACROSS THE GLOBE lam P esed Bonei O artner Oseh Ch Award MR. & MRS. MR. & MRS. ARI BRODY DANI COHEN

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