12 STAFF MORALE EXCHANGE MARCH/APRIL 2011 Reprinted with permission from Exchange magazine. Visit us at www.ChildCareExchange.com or call (800) 221-2864. Multiple use copy agreement available for educators by request.

The truth about bad attitudes

by Gigi Schweikert

The real deal Do you have a good attitude at itive attitudes fix things without the work? need to even draw attention to the issue Many people enter the early childhood or take credit. A person with a good atti- field because they enjoy working with Do you have a good attitude at work or tude saves the comments. Sure, they feel children. We’ll all agree that we love do you tend to grumble, complain, and frustrated, angry, and unappreciated at the children, and that may be where make unfavorable comments? A person times, but a person with a good attitude our complete agreement ends. Until we with a good attitude: moves past those feelings and keeps the spend time in the classroom, many of goal of caring for and educating young us don’t realize that the picture we n knows and expects that things won’t children in mind. Do you really have a painted in our heads of us working always go as planned. good attitude? independently with a group of cute, n accepts the situation as it is, but well-behaved kids isn’t the real works to improve it. Bad attitude don’ts scenario. Yes, the kids are cute! But n is generally happy, despite the unlike an elementary school teacher circumstances. We’ve talked about the traits of some- who usually teaches by herself in a self- n helps without being asked. one who has a good attitude; now let’s contained classroom, early childhood n doesn’t look for someone to blame look at some of the characteristics of professionals interact as much with the when things go wrong. someone who has a bad attitude. The other adults in the classroom and the n doesn’t always have to be right. funny thing — or the not so funny thing program as they do with the children. n works hard and enjoys it. about someone with a bad attitude — is So what does all that mean? To be suc- that his behavior can be like a cold: cessful in early childhood education, Save the comments other people can catch it. Hang out long we have to love and work well with the enough with someone who has a bad children and the adults, even if the Check out the statements above about attitude, who always complains, and adults aren’t as cute. having a good attitude. Do they you’ll easily start to pick up some of his describe you or do you have a negative traits. comment about your job and the situa- Gigi Schweikert, working mother of four and tions that happen each day? Yes, there The bad attitude checklist author of nine books on child care and are times when we need to profession- parenting, has over 25 years of experience in early childhood education. Gigi directed ally articulate our concerns, but a per- 1. I want others to hear my opinion the United Nations Child Care Centre and son with a good attitude expresses her about almost everything. the Johnson & Johnson System of Family Centers. Teaching parents and staff to help every child emotions without being negative. She 2. I don’t listen to some people. succeed is Gigi’s life passion. Her practical ideas and realistic expresses her opinion with the goal of 3. Sometimes I am thinking about perspective on child care will have you laughing and learning. Contact Gigi at [email protected] for speaking improving things, not just pointing what I am going to say next instead engagements. them out. In fact, most people with pos- of listening to others. STAFF MORALE 13 MARCH/APRIL 2011 EXCHANGE

4. Sometimes I raise my voice or owe them. Ouch! Now, please don’t mis- around, we’re ready for a break. A speak more curtly if they don’t hear understand me. You should never be Thank-Goodness-it’s-Friday mentality is me or agree with me. treated with disrespect or work in an understandable, but communicating 5. I monopolize the conversations and environment that is physically or emo- your thoughts to others can be mis- don’t let others talk. tionally unsafe for the children or for you, understood. Imagine being waited on at 6. I have to have the last word. but we tend to focus on our own needs a restaurant and the server says, “Oh, 7. No one ever sees my point of view. rather than the needs of others. Keep thank goodness you’re my last table.” 8. I like when people tell me I am your focus on the kids and you’re likely That comment doesn’t exactly make you right. to have a better attitude. feel like you can leisurely enjoy your 9. Sometimes I have to talk to adults meal, talk with your friends, and have like they are children so they will Learn to be more positive fun. That comment says, “Hurry up and understand. eat. I want to get out of here.” Are we 10. I am smarter than everyone else. If someone asked us to come up with a guilty of doing the same thing around 11. I’m never wrong. list of things we don’t like in our work parents and children? Think of some of 12. If I were wrong, I would never environment, we wouldn’t have any these seemingly innocuous statements admit it. problem listing a number of things. It’s uttered in front of parents or children. 13. People say I am hard to get along easy to complain, we all do it sometimes. n with, but they are the ones who are But what if we didn’t complain, or a least “I can’t wait until my shift is over.” n hard to get along with. tried not to? Being positive does not “Is it time to leave?” n 14. I believe there is always a crisis mean overlooking issues in your program “When is this child’s mother going to happening at work. that need addressing. It’s important to come?” n 15. For as long as I have worked here, point out problems in a professional way “Your dad forgot your gloves.” n there has always been a problem. and solve them as a team. We could say “I’m so tired.” n 16. Sometimes I have to make a scene things like, “I don’t like the food,” or “I need a break.” for others to get my point. “The paper towels aren’t very soft.” “The 17. I take things personally; you would, pay is low,” and “Some parents don’t Those comments may not seem so bad, too. appreciate us.” All those statements may but think about them. When we make a 18. No one ever does things the right be true, but do they really matter? If they comment about a child’s parent in front way, like I would do them. matter, work to change them. of the child, how does that make the 19. I am always the one doing all the child feel? Saying, “Your dad forgot your work. Let’s talk about a sticky subject, salary. gloves,” may make the child feel that we 20. No one ever pays me any attention. We know — and everyone else knows — do not like his parent, that we are angry that our salaries, in most cases, should be with his parent or even, “If my daddy Alright, time for the truth. Most of us higher. I have often heard early childhood loved me as much as the other daddies are sure to exhibit one or two of the bad professionals say, “I don’t get paid love their children, he would have attitude behaviors at least some of the enough to do all this.” Sometimes people brought my gloves.” Children can’t con- time. Hey, we’re human. Are you guilty are just venting, but at other times, they trol the actions of their parents. of any of the behaviors above? are using their salary as an excuse for not working as hard as they could or for not How about a simple statement such as Give your attention to others doing their job as well as they should. I’m “I need a break.” We may very well need going to make a tough comment: We all and deserve a break, but saying that in It’s easier to have a good attitude when knew our salary when we took the job front of parents may make them ques- we take the attention off of ourselves and we agreed to it. Should we work as a tion our enthusiasm about the job, our and focus on the needs of others. No field to improve salaries? You bet. Should attentiveness, or the credibility of the more complaining or ‘poor me’ attitudes we slack off or use our wages as an administration to provide us with a allowed. We all took a position in early excuse for not getting the job done? break. Did we mean all that? Most likely childhood education to help young Never. not, but negative statements are often children, but contrary to what most of misunderstood by others, blown out of us think, it’s not the responsibility of Being positive all week long proportion, and make people question our employer or our supervisor or any- our professionalism. What do we do? one else to make us happy, that’s our We can all admit that working with kids Save the comments. job. Our employer doesn’t owe us, we is tiring and as the end of the week rolls 14 STAFF MORALE EXCHANGE MARCH/APRIL 2011

Are things really that bad? Children are growing and learning, and if we are working well with them we There are some programs that have a are responding to their cues, and learn- great need for many resources: facility, ing quite a bit ourselves. In addition, we staff, equipment, and in some places, should be figuring out new and better even food and clothing for the children. ways to do things. Are you ready to Is that the case in your center or have have a good attitude and be flexible? you lost sight of the abundance of Try sitting in a new section of the movie resources that you have to use on a theater. It’s a start. daily basis? Do you have a fish tank in your center? Do the children participate When to get a new job in water play? Compared to many parts of the world, there is probably more Contrary to what most of us think, water in our fish tanks than most kids being happy is not about our circum- have to drink on a regular basis. Am I stances as much as it is how we choose tugging at your heartstrings? I really to respond to them. In other words, we want to. Your center, like all early child- can choose to be happy and to have a hood programs, may need some good attitude, even though things aren’t improvements or even a lot of improve- perfect. We are all going to have days ments, but let’s focus on the positive when we feel discouraged or unhappy, first. Drop the bad attitude. but if you are consistently unhappy in your job, perhaps early childhood edu- Having a good attitude means cation is not the job for you. You can’t being flexible be the best person you can be if you are not where you are supposed to be. Most Being flexible means being open to days you should be excited about going change, and we humans are creatures of to work and being there. The children routine and habit. Even good change depend on you and the choice to have a takes some getting used to for most of good attitude is yours. us. Think about this question. How many of you like to sit in generally the same seat at the movie theater? Do you like to sit in the back? In the middle? Who has their heart set on an aisle seat? We sit in the same place in the movie, park in relatively the same area when we go shopping, and sleep on the same side of the bed almost our entire lives. Are we flexible? Not really. Change and flexibility may cause us to feel uncom- fortable and awkward, make greater effort, learn a new skill, and even fail initially.

Why change and flexibility?

So why does a good attitude depend on change and flexibility? A day in early childhood education is full of surprises. There’s an undeniable feeling of fluidity and change in our environment.