THE ETRIEVER E E KLY "It's not love that means never having to say you're sorry, it's the First Amendment."- The Times Picayune 1997 Editorial Volume XXXV, Number 9 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 October 24, 2000 Students Protest Exclusion of Nader Rep in Mock Debate UMBC Presidential Debate Mirrors National Conflict With Third Party Exclusion, Spawns Campus Debate SARAH ANDREWS Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Meyers, who organized the In selecting which canqidates debate, said that he decided to to admit to the national debates, A debate has erupted over the limit the event to representatives the CPD requires that they be players in last night's mock presi­ of the two major parties so that constitutionally eligible, are on dential debate. The debate at there would be ample time for enough state ballots to have a UMBC, sponsored by the Public questions from the audience. He mathematical chance of winning a .Affairs Scholars Program, added that, while he understands majority in the Electoral College brought Reps. Robert Erlich (D) the desire to include an alternative and have the support of at least 15 and Benjamin Cardin (R) to cam­ party representative, the Greens' percent of the national electorate. pus to represent their respective request came along too lat~ 'in the Sinnigen points out that, under parties' candidates. However, rep­ process. "I would have had to tell these criteria, both former Reform resentatives of Green Party candi­ two members of.Congress that the Party presidential candidate Ross date Ralph Nader and Reform conditions under which I invited Perot and Minnesota Governor Party candidate Pat Buchanan them are invalid." Jesse Ventura would have been were not invited. Nader and · "But this [wasn't] a nationally excluded from debates that helped Buchanan were also excluded televised debate," sophomore build support for their candida­ Old Mental Institute from the national debates. Dave Markland said. "It [was] for cies. He described the exclusion The exclusion of alternative the benefit of the UMBC commu­ as "inappropriate on a university. candida.tes has many at UMBC, nity." Markland, who will be vot­ campus, where we are supposed including the campus Greens ing for Nader, thought a Nader to follow inclusive policies." Farm Attracts New organization, shaking their heads. representative would have given If Nader wins five percent "This is silliness," said Jack UMBC students a better under­ support nationally, the Green Sinnigen, director of the Modem standing of their options. Party will receive federal funding Patients to UMBC Languages and Linguistics "For people that [Nader's] in future campaigns. This would Department and a proponent of issues are important to, there isn't Recent On-Campus Assault by including a Nader representative even open discussion of them," in the debate at UMBC. "They're Markland said. see PROTEST, page 2 . Spring Grove Patient Draws blocking an attempt to build a third party." Attention to a Recurring Problem The Baltimore Green Party sug­ SCOTI DAUGHERTY met with officials from Spring gested Bill Barry of Dundalk Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Grove Hospital Friday to rein­ Community College as a suitable. force the importance of communi­ representative for Nader. UMBC, built on land that was cation between institutions. Sinnigen and the Greens at previously farming land for a Spring Grove Hospital Center UMBC pushed for Barry's inclu­ mental institute, can't seem to will fax a notice to campus police sion, but he was not invited. escape its past. in all cases involving a patient Sinnigen described his interac­ Over the years, walk-off walk -off or escap<;. tions with Roy Meyers, who patients from nearby state mental "We wanted to reinforce that organized the UMBC debate, as hospital Spring Grove have been the communication process was very civil but heated. found wandering around campus in place," said UMBC Police In deciding not to invite any only to be tracked down and Chief John Cook. "The notifica­ third party representative, 5 returned to the hospital. But the tion process is a standard law UMBC has followed the lead of most recent of these patients enforcement notification where the Commission on Presidential they actually generate a law Debates, which organized the ear­ assaulted a female on campus Nate Weekly before surrendering to police. enforcement message that goes lier debates between candidates Great American Picnic: Jesse Hull and Sarah Cassel pi In response to this incident and George W. Bush and Al Gore. good neighbors in the latest UMBC Theater production. the recurring problem, UMBC Political science professor Roy campus police and administration see WALK-OFFS, page 3

Matt VanDyke Michele Jabes pic­ watches up the nics with the debates so you UMBC Theater, Men 's soccer push­ don't have to and Katie Rouse Focus gives the es for the postsea­ two Opinionettes stoops to conquer top picks for cos­ son, Karolyn Krieger duke it out over Center Stage and is proflJed, and tumes, movies and the issue of Jamie Peck gets UMBC earns gold devious activities. Charter schools bewitched. in Regattas. PAGE2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 24, 2000 I ehind I the Scenes

U. Nebraska fraternity refuses to com- ment about article on gay member Michael Rey: The Student Link to Their Stomachs (U-WIRE) LINCOLN, Neb. -The maga­ zine says University of Nebraska senior Ryan Grigsby wants to test the limits of DAHLIA NAQIB before moving south and gaining expe­ brotherhood. Retriever Weekly Ed~torial Staff rience with campus dining services in But when the Oct. 26 issue of Rolling colleges in Florida, Georgia and Stone featured Grigsby as a gay UNL student Every now and then, you hear students Alabama. In 1987 he moved back here living in Sigma Nu Fraternity, it seems Grigsqy may have pushed the limits too far. rave about the dining hall's Wednesday and gained worked in diiling services in Now, only a week after the national maga­ night feast. Sometim~s it's lobster or steak a D.C. school and was also the director zine came out, Grigsby won't comment on or anything equally upscale. of food services for Smithsonian the story in Rolling Stone. Operations Director for UMBC Food Institutions. "I'm not allowed to comment - I'm Services Michael Rey has, for the past Before taking his current job with sorry," Grigsby told the Daily Nebraskan last five years, lived for these moments. He UMBC's dining services, Rey went back week. His fraternity president, UNL junior oversees the Resident Dining Hall, to school to earn his masters in business Dan Sindelar, also declined to comment. Catering Services and Cash Operations administration from the local outlet of the "I just don't want to comment," Sindelar for Wood Company and a great deal of Central Michigan Uriiversity. said. his job depends on interactions and feed­ He says that of all the jobs he has had The Rolling Stone article tells about the back from his customers, the students in dining services - in prisons, busi­ letter Grigsby wrote last fall to his brothers and faculty at UMBC. , in Sigma Nu, telling them he was gay. ness/industry, hospitals and museums Grigsby spent three weeks agonizing While he realizes that much of the - he enjoys working with campus din­ over how to reveal his secret, the story states, input about dining services is negative, ing the most, especially at UMBC. and when he finally did, the reaction was he welcomes those comments too mixed. because, he says, it improves the serv­ A group of brothers made gay jokes out­ ice. side of Grigsby's room, and, iri February, "Most every aspect of dining servic­ Grigsby was encouraged not to bring a male es is [a result of] students' suggestions date to the Valentine's Day formal, which -it's the most important thing we do," through surveys. interviews with students parents are invited to atteJ?.d. Rey said. at his "Director's Table" in the dining hall But despite all of that, the article states The dining hall's recently imple­ and through input from the twic~ monthly Grigsby remains loyal to his fraternity. He mented "Late Night," for example, Food Committee meetings open to stu­ has since moved out of the Sigma Nu house came from student input Rey looked at dents. But he says not enough student's to live off-campus, but that is a normal step for a senior to take, Grigsby told Rolling research of campus food services, come to those meetings. Stone. which showed that students' eating Rey has received positive input from In the letter Grigsby wrote to his fraterni­ habits had changed from the traditional students about Late Night, which is excit­ ty brothers, he said he hoped "you will not breakfast-lunch-dinner schedule. His ing for him. see me coming 'out' in a negative light." interviews with students and Wood His career in dining services started out Now, nobody's talking. Company's semester surveys also at Towson University where he worked in Even Russell Willbanks, a Sigma Nu reflected the change. This prompted an the dining hall as a student as he completed member and chairman of the Daily experimental late-night food services his major in geography with an emphasis Nebraskan Publications Board, the body that last semester, which ev'olved into Late on geomorphology and cryptography and sets policy for the newspaper, declined to Night this semester, open from 9 p.m. to his minor in business. comment. 1 a.m. .After graduating in 1982, he kept his job He communicates with students with TU's dining services for a while Harvey Trio Withdraws from Indiana U. Due to Knight Firing Fallout (U-WIRE) BLOOMINGTON, Ind. Freshman Kent Harvey and his brothers have officially withdrawn from Indiana Green Party University, the Office of the Registrar con­ firmed. Following an incident Sept. 7 between Students Kent Harvey and former men's basketball coach Bob Knight, in which Harvey called Knight by his last name, Harvey alleged Knight grabbed a:qd reprimanded him. Dispute Knight had been placed unde~ a "zero-toler­ ance" polic;y earlier in the year and was fired by the university Sept. 10. Campus In reaction to the firing, demonstrators wore "Kill Kent" T-shirts, carried "Wanted: Dead or Alive" posters and burned Harvey in effigy. Debate Knight responded to these actions in a speech Sept. 13. from PROTEST, page 1 "Let him be a student," Knight said. · "And let him get on with his life. This thing be significant for opening up the arena and had happened to -me long before that situa­ creating viable third party candidates, tion took place. That kid is not responsible Sinnigen said. for my not coaching at Indiana." "I think it's important that Nader be / Since the week of the incident the triplets have not been at IU. included as a s~gnificant altet:native to the "I didn't really feel comfortable going Republicans and Democrats." he added. back to campus," Harvey said, and later The CPD Web site describes its goal: "to Scott Daugherty I Retriever Weekly Staff added, "I pretty much hurt the basketball afford the members of the public an oppor­ I Scream, You Scream: A Ben & Jerry's scoop truck handed out program, I guess. I didn't mean to, ·but a 'lot tunity to sharpen their views in a focused of people are pissed off at me and I feel like debate format, of the candidates from samples of their World's Best Vanilla and Chocolate Fudge it would be better if I withdrew right now." among whom the next President and Vice Brownie Thursday as part of their Build a Future College Tour to President will be selected." support Habitat for Humanity. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 24, 2000 PAGE3

Ten Palestinians Die As Mideast Ceasefire Fails JERUSALEM (Reuters)- A U.S.-brokered deal to end Israeli-Palestinian violence col­ lapsed on Friday with fierce clashes in which 10 Arabs were killed, and Israel blamed the Palestinians for failing to meet an agreed deadline. Prime Minister Ehud Barak said that if the bloodshed continued after ·a key Arab summit this weekend in Cairo, Israel would suspend the Middle East peace process for a reassessment. Chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat accused Israel of provoking clashes by send­ ing troops and Jewish settlers into Palestinian areas. He challenged U.S. President Bill Clinton to say which side had violated the accord he brokered. "The Israeli government is doing a good job at killing this peace process· in a very ables and ineVitably rtdding the tefrlgem­ ~eterrnined effort," Erekat told Reuters. tor before be left. Detectives following Friday's death toll was the heaviest in two the- 11 Snacldri.g Bandit- cases between April and JuD.e note that tlte bandit bad weeks and came on the eve of the Arab sum­ mit called to support the Palestinians and been described by a witness in April as weighing 170 pounds; by a witness in pile international pressure on Israel. May, 175 pounds; and by a witness in At least 118 people have died in three June, 180 pounds. weeks of violence, all but eight of them Arabs. Five Palestinians were killed on Friday in the West Bank city of Nablus, a University-and Spring Grove Officials day after Israeli troops backed by helicopter gunships fought a seven-hour battle with Palestinian gunmen in the same area, trig· Meet to Discuss History of Problems gered by a Jewish settlers' hike. In a familiar cycle of violence, clashes from WALK-OFFS, page 1 erupted after an angry crowd had marched in the funeral of a Palestinian killed in the pre­ "He was in a position where he could have a couple a month," said Landis. "A lot vious day's incident. out to the surrounding law enforcement get away fairly easily. If you've got five or of people that have ground privileges, they. Clinton telephoned Barak · and. agencies. An additional step is taken for us six patients out on a rehab program and just go out for the day. Sometimes what because of our proximity where they fax it only two staff, and the guy decides he's happens is that when the shift changes ... Palestinian President Yasser Arafat on immediately to us." going to take off, it's difficult for the two they do a head count on the shift, and if Thursday night to press them to ensure the Cook, UMBC Associate Vice President people. . .. They don't want to leave the somebody is out, they will report them as violence ended, apparently to no avail. Leland Beitel, Spring Grove Hospital other six to go chasing after someone missing. Then the person will come back Center Superintendent William H. Landis because they will loose control of the later in the evening ... but they might ini­ Albright Set To Make N. Korea Trip and Spring Grove Hospital Police Chief whole group," said Landis. tially be reported as a walk-off or an elope­ SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - For decades, Johnson were all in attendance at the meet­ Spring Grove assigns privilege levels to ment." North Korea seemed to relish confrontation ing, which was prompted by a recent its patients on a one to five scale, one being Patients committed to Spring Grove as with the United States at the negotiating assault on campus. the most and five being the least restricted. the result of court orders are typically there table, a strategy that U.S. officials viewed as Warren Fitzhugh, 44, of 500 Block, Fitzhugh's status is confidential, but Landis for lesser criminal offences. Patients guilty brinkmanship: ratchet up the tension to win East Coldspring Lane, was charged with speculated he was a level two. His records of serious felonies, murder or rape, are typ­ concessions. assault and a fourth degree sexual offence at Spring Grove are sealed due to patient ically committed to Clifton T. Perkins State These days, threats, insults and walkouts for the unwanted grabbing and fondling confidentiality. Hospital in Jessup, Maryland, not Spring have faded as North Korean negotiating of a female Prince George's Community "All of the inpatient hospital wards are Grove. tools. So Washington's Cold War-era foe is College student the morning of Oct. 5. locked-down wards; it is not an open facil­ Spring Grove Hospital Center, the third sure to lavish pomp and protocol on Fitzhugh was a walk-off patient from ity. On the other hand, it is not a maximum oldest continually operating mental institu­ Secretary of State Madeleine Albright on a Spring Grove, who had escaped from a security facility," said Landis. He estimated tion in the country, is located just off of visit to North Korea next week to discuss the that individuals that were committed to a campus on Valley Road. The UMBC cam­ supervised walking group. The walking communist North's missile program and its group was part of his weight control reha­ mental institution by court order occupy pus was formerly Spring Grove property, desire to get o!f a U.S. list of terrorism-spon­ bilit~tion program. According to Cook, only 30. percent of the hospital's 350 beds serving as a farm for the hospital to grow soring nations - issues that have stalled the walk-off was reported at 10:50 a.m., and the other 70 percent come from hospi­ its own. food. The Hillcrest building served hopes for permanent peace on the Korean the report of the assault came in at 11:05 tal transfers and referrals. as housing for some of Spring Grove's peninsula since it was devastated by war 50 a.m. and Fitzhugh was apprehended at Walk-offs, or suspected walk-offs, are criminally insane. years ago. 11:20 a.m. fairly common at Spring Grove. "We might Both sides declared their intent to "for­ The Media Panel Presents mally end the Korean War" by resolving How to Find a Job in Journalism these quandaries in a joint statement that was Featuring Recent UMBC graduates working for the Baltimore Sun released in Washington during a trip this Wednesday, October 25 in the Albin 0. Kuhn Library month by Gen. Jo Myong Rok, a top aide to (seventh floor reception area) Kim Jong 11. at I :00 p.m. (Free Hour) The two sides might wait before tackling Refreshments will be served. other complex topics such as troop reduc­ Sponsored by Alumni House and The Retriever Weekly tions and weapons withdrawals from the For information: Christopher Corbett, English Demilitarized Zone, a buffer zone separating Department, Extension:2165 the two Koreas. PAGE4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 24, 2000 POLICE LOG Found Property Services building renovation project man­ Theft of Vehiele Parts and his sunglasses were broken, but did Oct.10, 12:54 p.m. -A UMBC student ager advised police that an unknown sub­ Oct. 15, 1:06 p.m. - A UMBC student not require medical attention. An officer reported that he found a clear bag con­ ject pulled up a piece of plywood, which reported that unknown persons broke the interviewed the girlfriend, who admitted taining a substance that resembled mar­ was covering a patch of wet cement. The drivers side rear view mirror off of her the assault and was issued a Student ijuana in a planter outside the UC. A person then scratched into the cement vehicle and carried it away from Lot 6. The Judicial Notice. The victim was advised field chemical test revealed the sub- . Greek letters "Phi Mu or Phi Gamma." The damage to the vehicle and the cost of of the procedure to follow in the event stance to in fact be marijuana, which investigation is continuing. replacing the mirror was valued at $200. that he wished to file criminal charges. was processed and. scheduled for destruction. Case is closed. Destruction of Property Tampering with Automobile Theft from Building Oct. 13, 7:24 a.m. - The Physical Plant (Motorcycle) Oct. 16, 3:42 p.m. - ,An employee Destruction of Property reported someone had knocked over the Oct. 15, 2:40 p.m. - A UMBC Student reported that someone removed the moth­ Oct. 11, 9:08 a.m. -Library security recently installed statue outside the ECS reported that unknown persons moved his erboards from five computers stored in a reported that unknown persons wrote Bldg. There were no identifiable suspects. motorcycle from the location where it was storage room in the Office of Residential on the walls, ~pilled liquid on the walls originally parked on Center Road to anoth­ Life. There are no known witnesses or and attempted to pry open a locked Theft from Building er parking space. He states that he believes suspects. The investigation will continue. storage bin. The damage was valued at Oct. 13, 8:00 a.m. - A student reported the motorcycle is being moved to provide $50. $190 in cash was taken from his wallet room for a vehicle to park. This is the third Theft from Building while he slept in Hillside Apartments. such occurrence of this type. Officer is Oct. 16, 4:18p.m. -A student reported Record of Information I Sexual There were no immediate suspects. The requesting that the Community Policing that someone removed his cellular phone Harassment investigation will continue. Officers follow up this case. when he fell asleep at a desk in the Oct. 11, 9:00a.m.- Abacus Cleaning Multimedia Center. The · investigation Service director ·reported that a female Destruction of Property Telephone Misuse revealed that someone used the phone to employee had been the victim of sever­ Oct. 14, 8:12 a.m. - Police found the Oct. 15,5:12 p.m. -A UMBC student liv­ call Erickson Hall. The investigation will al sexual advances from a male "Math/Psych" sign' outside of the building ing in Susquehanna Hall reported that, on continue. employee. An officer interviewed the damaged. Damage .was estimated at $300. three separate occasions, she has received · employee and she confirmed the allega­ There are no suspects or motives identified very annoying telephone calls from an Theft from Building tions. She identified the suspect, who in this case. unidentified caller. She was advised to keep Oct. 16 5:05p.m. -A student reported was interviewed; he stated that he had a log of all such calls and times they are that she left her wallet in the library. A in fact made several statements. He Theft from Vehicle received for possible tracing. Investigation library employee stated that he found the stated, however, that the victim wel­ Oct. 14,3:25 p.m. -A young lady, univer­ will continue. wallet and turned it in at the circulation comed them. This case has been turned sity affiliation unknown, reported that desk. He then e-mailed the victim inform­ over to Abacus Managerial Personnel to unknown persons entered her vehicle Assault ing her where she could .fmd her wallet. be handled internally. parked on Hilltop Circle and removed a Oct. 15,10:53 p.m. - A UMBC student When: she inquired about her wallet, how­ laptop computer and U.S. currency. Total reported his girlfriend, also a UMBC stu­ ever, she learned that no record of the Destruction of Property loss value is $4,200. There are no suspects dent, physically assaulted him in Patapsco wallet existed. The investigation will con­ Oct. 12, 7:00 a.m.- The Health at this time, investigation to continue. Hall. He received a minor injury to his nose. tinue.

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Two Locations! Benefits Available for all! • Public Administration: Learn and work with executive branch officials at the local, state and federal levels of Great opportunities ·are now available tn government and not-for-profit organizations. Dr. Art Johnson· December 4, 2000 deadline Catonsville & Columbia. To get a taste of our ( 41 0) 455-2333 [email protected] attractive wages and fun, friendly environment, • Politics/Legislature: Learn and work with loca1 state, call the location nearest you! or federal legislatures, members of congress, political partiest interest group, and lobbyists. Dr. Tom SchaUer ~ October 16, 2000 Applebee's Catonsville November 13, 2000 deadlines 6505 Baltimore National Pike (410) 455-2845 [email protected] ( 410) 788-2627 SPONSORED BY: DR.· HAROLD LEVY @ Applebee's Columbia (410) 455-2191, ADMIN 609 8335 Benson Drive FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL MALA (410) 872-0174 MALHOTRA, INTERNSHIP COORDINATOR/ PRE-LAW ADVISOR,@ (410) 455-2063, ADMIN 601 THE.RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 24, 2000 PAGES Erickson Constructi-on Mishap Injures One Cause of Accident Unknown, Construction Still on Schedule, According to Ericson SCOTT DAUGHERTY Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff when the floor collapsed beneath them. All three individuals were able to walk away A newly poured deck of the Erickson from the incident, and only Lander required Dorm Project Phase III collapsed Friday medical attention. . morning, injuring a worker who was treat­ Construction contii:med on the site after ed at St. Agnes Hospital for minor injuries the incident. he received after falling from the deck as it According to a statement to the media collapsed. released by Erickson Retirement Site Supervisor Don Lander was Communities, "Engineers, material manu­ released from the hospital shortly after facturers, architects. and representatives of noon. Erickson Construction have been on-site at "We're working together to determine UMBC since 9 a.m. to determine exactly the circumstances and make sure that nec­ what happened this morning to cause the essary corrective action is taken and that [accident]." the project is safe.to continue," said George Mel Tansill, director of public affairs for Brown, construction manager for the proj­ Erickson Retirement Communities, said -

Nate West I Retriever Weeki~ Staff_ ect. the incident will result in only minor Going Down: Three construction workers fell from the second floor of the New Lander and two other co-nstruction delays, if any. The debris from the col­ Erickson dorms as they were laying the deck. Only one received medical attention workers were laying part of the second lapsed floor should be cleared by Monday, at St. Agnes Hospital aMd was released later that day. floor of the new dormitory at 8:30 a.m. said Tansill. Learning About Ancient The Office Of The Vice President Death in the Library For Student Affairs

RACHEL SINGERMAN texts is also a vital source of information. Is Accepting Nominations Retriever Weekly Staff Writer As PC1!1 of his lecture, Gittlen discussed the etymologies of several words that are What was the relationship between the found in the Hebrew Bible's book of Who's Who Among Students In American dead and the living in ancient Israel? Genesis. Specifically, Gittlen focused on Universities And Colleges According to Dr. Barry Gittlep., noted the relationship between the words for archeologist and an adjunct professor in man, which he translated as "earthling," Selection Criteria: UMBC's Ancient Studies Department, and earth. He also pointed out the correla­ Scholarship death was a much more integral part of the tion between the terms for man and Involvement lives of ancient Israelites than of modern woman. Leadership Americans. Gittlen backed up his analysis with Service to the Campus Community In a well-attended lecture given in the · biblical references, mentioning "from dust Library Gallery last Wednesday, Gittlen you · were fashioned, and to dust you will Eligibility Criteria: , used both archaeological and linguistic return" and "he lay with his fathers" as Two Consecutive Semesters Enrolled at UMBC prior evidence to demonstrate the close rela­ evidence of the Israelites' philosophy of _tionship between life and death in ancient death. to Fall 2000 Israel. Gittlen also e~plored the biblical Undergraduates: 60 Undergraduate Credits by Fall 2000 The Israelites believed that man's body exhortation to "honor your father and 3.00 or Higher Cumulative G.P.A. had been fashioned from the earth and god mother." In the tombs of the Israelites, Graduate Students:"9 Graduate Credits by Fall 2000 instilled his spirit in him, Gittlen said. The bow Is with sheep bones are sometimes 3.25 or Higher Cumulative G.P.A. spirit or soul, which separates man from found next to the shelyes. Were these Not Curr<:_ntly Under Judicial Sanction at UMBC the animal kingdom- or even the earth bones the decayed remains of a food offer­ itself, is evidenced by the person's ability ing to the ancestors, or were they leftovers to breathe. After the breath left a person, from a feast held by people who were lay­ Nomination forms are available at the Office of they died and descended into "Sheol," an ing a family member to rest? Gittlen ·sus­ undergrou~d nothingness from which no pects the bones were part of a meal honor­ the Vice President for Student Affairs, soul bad ever returned. ing the deceased, rather than a sign of Math/Psychology Building, room 222-A The body of the deceased was washed ancestor worship, but there is no neat and then laid on a shelf in the family bur­ solution to the question. "It's a complex ial cave with a stone "pillow" to hold the situation, still being discussed in scholarly Deadline for Nominations: head. Thus, the body literally did spend circles," he said. eternity resting with the ancestors. When Gittlen concluded the lecture with a Friday, October 27, 2000 the cave's burial spots were filled, the short slidesbow that showed excavations most decayed body was shoved into a cis­ of various Canaanite and Israelite burial tern dug in the rock under the shelves to sites, along with the artifacts discovered at Deadline for .Applications: free up space for the newly deceased. the sites. The slides included a shot of the 'Friday, .November to, 2000 The family burial caves offered possible burial site of famous Israelite Israelites the opportunity to observe the kings. body's decay and return to the soil. "When The lecture, held as part of Ancient Want something fun to do this Halloween? you brought Uncle Fred or Aunt Sally into Studies Week, was sponsored by the the cave, you saw the dead" Gittlen said. Humanities Forum, the departments of come to the Halloween COSTUME BASH!! "Death was a reality in their lives." The ancient studies and Judaic studies, and the idea of "dust to dust" was not poetic, but Special Sessions PoliCy Couneil. It was rather a realistic description of the world one of a series of ancient studies lectures October 31st, 8-11 p.m., UC Ballroom of the ancient Israelites.· being held at Baltimore area colleges. "Archaeology rarely gives us the The next lecture in the series will be All proceeds go to benefit a cancer patient. fullest picture we would like to have," held at 3 p.m. on Nov. 12 at the Baltimore ' For more information or to get tickets, Gittlen said, adding that analyzing ancient Hebrew University library. email Alexis (ahillo1 ®gl.umbc.edu) PAGE6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS October 24, 2000

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New trend in education Third and final debate still 8 raises both opportunities leaves the American people 10 and questions. saying, "eh." 9 Life in the lime-light doesn't ON Save the animals, eat a vege­ 10 make saints of celebrities. tarian, for a change. T H E ETRIEVER WEEKLY

Editor in Chief Opinion Editor Business Manager Jennifer Schildroth Stephanie Rawlings Matt VanDyke

Apathy Parade

The freshman pen ceremony, Dogapulooza, the Harvest Ball, homecoming, Midnite Madness ... UMBC is desperately searching for traditions to forever root this university of transients. True, some are successes and will probably continue to prosper well into UMBC's future. Others, well ... there's always cable TV to fall back on. uMBC is caught in a catch-22. The lack of spirit is really a lack of students any other time than midday Monday through Thursday. There are no gatherings on weekends, nights, etc. The school attempts to provide services and special events during the. down time to attract students. Only, students fail to attend such occurrences, usually, under the assump­ tion that the school is usually dead then, and thus, the event will be too. Plus, there's always cable TV. So how does one solve such a problem? Any day of classes around free time, the cam­ pus is alive and pulsing with life. Why not schedule a short, but major even to occur dur­ ing one of these periods? Instead of the usual condescension of campus-wide apathy this paper usually serves up, the staff of The Retriever Weekly offers the following solution: Let's have a parade. Each club, dorm or organization designs a car to promote that particular group's mes­ sage or capture its spirit. The cars then parade, during free hour, from the library to the administration building. Each submission will require a small submission fee that will be pooled and dispens·ed among the winners. Such a proposal would work to solve several problems. One, if successful,· such a parade could easily slip into the somewhat vacant halls of UMBC tradition. Two, the cam­ pus would already be packed so attendance would be automatically assured. Three, a show of spirit of this magnitude could do nothing but boost morale and help break down the zombie-like atmosphere of the campus. And four, a slight redistribution of wealth to the winning contestants could vastly help a particular club or organization. This is only a suggestion, but if there are any interested parties out there, send us an e­ mail ~t [email protected] and we'll see what we can do .... Go Retrievers!?

Case Closed

Within the last couple of months, the campus police have been performing real Adam Craigmiles ...... Managing Editor Retriever Weekly staff editorials reflect police-man duties - almost makes us feel safe around here. And while UMBC is gener­ Dahlia Naqib ...... News Editor the views of the editorial board; signed ally a quiet campus as far as crime goes, there have been some eyebrow-raising police Sarah Andrews ...... Asst. News Editor columns and advertisements represent the log incidents, but whereas one usually sees an "investigation is contunuing," a satisfying Scott Daugherty ...... Asst. News Editor opinions of the individual writers and adver­ "case closed" is now more common than before to the log. Abby Foster ...... Asst. Opinion Editor tisers, respectively, and do not necessarily They tracked down and captured, within fifteen minutes of a phone call, the escaped Anna Kaplan ...... Features Editor reflect those of The Retriever Weekly or the mental patient who assaulted a female on campus and they arranged to meet with the near­ Michelle J abes ...... Asst. Features Editor University of Maryland Baltimore County. by Spring Grove Hospital for mental patients in order to be more aware of and respond Kathryn Rouse ...... :..... Focus Editor Letters to the Editor are printed verba­ quickly to walk-offs who often wander to the campus. Alyson Sprugas ...... Asst. Focus Editor tim, although the editors reserve the right to The campus police also caught the library bathroom peeping tom within hours of a Pratik Shah ...... Sports Editor edit any letter deemed lengthy, repetitive, complaint. And they have been solving cases from previous reports. They just recently, for Brandon Dudley ...... Asst. Sports Editor libelous or otherwise in need of revision. The . example, caught a man and charged him with the armed robbery of the Pub over the sum­ Nate West ...... Photography Editor editors further reserve the right not to print mer and they charged someone with a theft from the administration building also over the Andy Dunmire ...... Artwork Manager any letter for any reason. Letters to the Editor summer. David Punzalan ...... Production Manager must be typed or written legibly and include Students and police definitely have their run-ins and power struggles, but it's good to Jamie Peck ...... :...... Production Asst. the author's name and telephone number. know that the police, who are here to serve the students, can and do interact favorably with Diana Zeiger ...... Production Asst. Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on the campus community. Rob Relosa ...... Production Asst. Thursday and may not exceed 400 words. And while these examples of campus police crime-fighting shouldn't allow students Ray Shaw ...... Technology Manager The Retriever Weekly publishes weekly to feel safe enough to walk aro~nd campus at night by themselves or in general do any­ Del-Kun Dave Chen ...... Circ. Manager on Tuesdays during the regular school year. thing that would put their lives at risk, it does help students (and parents) feel a little safer Christopher Corbett ...... Faculty Adviser Editors can be reached at (410) 455-1260 on campus, knowing that campus police can respond adequately to campus emergencies. during normal business hours or at University Center 214; 1000 Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal opportunity employer. PAGES THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 24, 2000 Charter Schools Offer More Choices for Parents

_Abby Foster It is also true that some students in zation and different accountability than It would be nice to have more choic­ Texas charter schools are not poor or dis- the usual public schools if their children's es, for example, in Western Maryland.­ Both Bush and Gore are in favor of advantaged. It was their parents' choice to needs are not met by the usual public Allegany County spends 60 percent of its - creating charter schools in their critical leave them in their old school, or to send school curriculum. Granted, at this point, annual budget on its school system, which education reform plans, which is a hotly them to the new charter school. An intelli- most charter schools work similarly to repairs old textbooks with tape and often debated issue. Charter schools are _pub­ gent child in a school with poor test scores voucher systems in cities, but that could does not have enough books for each licly-funded institutions, with differing will not bring the average up very much be changed in ·other places. Fauquier child. The · schools need to be revamped purposes and students of focus. Basically, and is not necessarily being slighted in County, Virginia, is accepting applications badly. To save money, high schools are all charter schools will give parents any way, since his other parents obvious- from charter schools. It is a rural county being consolidated to offer more classes to greater choice in where and how their ly think the new school is a better option without the same education issues inner..: the students, but some are riding bJ-Sses children are educated, which is excellent. than the older schools. Bush is right to say city schools have. ~ charter school in a for over an hour to and from school every Bush that parents know better than the govern- more rural area could experiment with day. Classes are getting larger, with less ment what is best for their other educational tech- one-on-one attention from teachers. My has163 createdcharter . children. niques, like year-round brotQ.er (who goes to Fort Hill High PO INT "The onl" purpose oif schools Given that the Texas 'J schooling, foreign Ian- School, in Allegany County) is in an since 1997, - charter schools cater to the charter schools is to guage immersion or inten­ advanced placement history class where most for bottom of the pu?li~- give parents a choice of sive fine art~ programs. _ he and three other kids sit in the back of a high-risk or school. bell curve, It IS Inner-city charter general history class anq do worksheets. disadvantaged children. Opponents of unsurprising that their test a school with a differ- schools can be a branch of

Charter Schools Provide an Escape, Not a Solution

·'

Jennifer Schildroth public school system, the same problems _ public school systems, families often move will eventually arise again, only with fur­ to more privileged neighborhoods so their The current trend of a self-congratulat­ ther complications. If the government is children can receive a quality education. ing attitude toward change in social policy truly concerned with the state of education Now some politicians and experts are has the nation. spinning in circles rather (and hopefully it is), public officials need pushing· to give everyone access to attend than continuing progress. The-eptimistic to recognize the fundamental sources of the the privately run schools that have histori- outlook that considers all we've accom­ cally proven to plished has displaced the quite evident prepare students truth that while we have had some success better than many in the movement for social change, the state ·run problems continue to exist and take new schools. While form. This content with the present situa­ COUNTERPOINT this sounds like tion can be seen in every social movement, an excellent way but is especially ·prominent in the area of to ensure equali­ educ_ational opportunity. issues rather than attempting to pawn off ty, proponents of charter schools fail to file photo Some school districts continue to _suf­ the responsibility of properly educating our realize that hierarchy in school systems, Charter Chum: Charter schools will fer under dramatic under-funding, while youth. · whether public or pri- merely cause a mass exodus from schools in more prominent areas try to fig­ The same · down- "If the government is truly v~te, will remain until a underfunded public schools. ure whether to spend a quarter of a million falls of education will • system is established dollars on new landscaping or send the continue to persist as concerned wzth the state of that concentrates on more money. The public school system football team on a full-paid trip to Florida · _these schools become education (and _hopefully it issues such as teacher isn't a failure; there are numerous schools for preseason camp. more common and eas- • ) bf .J'f!: • l d t retention and curricu- with alumni that lead highly successful If school districts-put the money into ily accessible. lS ' pu lC 0JJ ,cza S nee O lum standards. lives. The most striking issue is that all the public school system that is proposed to Previously, pri~ate recognize the fundamental . There have always public schools don't produce equally-pre­ give to charter schools, there wouldn't be schools have _offered sources of the issues rather been the "good" and pared students. The disparity is not going to the unsuccessful- which usually equates not a solution to the • · "bad" schools, and that vanish because education is privately run; to urban - schools that parents feel the pathetic state of the than attempting to pawn off bipolarity will continue . in fact, it see~s more likely to assume that need to save their children from. While it's public education. sys- ,the responsibility ofproper- to exist if the govern- it will only increase. The public school sys­ fabulous that parents are choosing to take tern in some areas, but l d ti th , ment tries to herd all of tem can work, and we should spend the an active role in their children's education, an escape. Only the }' e -uca ng our you · . its students into what money proposed for sponsoring charter something that has been a major concern in students who are -are essel)tially consid- schools to make the current system suc­ the past, they shouldn't have to make a wealthy enough to afford these schools, ered the better schools. Private schools cessful equally for all students. choice because some schools are better which are typically sponsored by religious don't traditionally produced more well-pre­ than others. Children have a right to equal organizations, or those fortunate enough to pared and more successful students Jennifer Schildroth is the editor in education. If parents are able and now even receive scholarships are p,rivileged to this because they are privately managed; they chief of The Retriever Weekly. She can be encouraged to take their children out ofthe higher level of education. Even within the have improved results because they have , reached by email at [email protected].

( ,.. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 24, 2000 PAGE9 ·wake-Up Call: Celebrities Aren't Perfect Either

most Americans. Our beloved celebrities We don't remember any of his heavyweight Adam Hopkins are human, and t~erefore (gasp!) not per- titles - in the ring, all that's engraved in feet. They make mistakes, just as the rest of America's collective mind is Tyson's infa-· Perfectionism is something that we all us do. Maybe Ryan's breakup with Quaid is mous "ear bite': against Evander Holyfield hope to have as an inner quality. For some, not a mistake, but when the rest of the in June 1997. The man is human, too. Why it can be an obsession. Our society and cul­ world labels her as charming and likable, it should we expect him to ever be perfect? ture place such value on those who live sure is. We were appalled when Vince Gill Pro athletes and Hollywood celebrities their lives in the spotlight that we expect and Amy Grant got together after their become drug addicts. They are also very them to be perfect all of the time. romance allegedly caused the end of their ambivalent to the media (and fans), will Whenever they do something wrong, it respective marriages to different spouses. It cheat on their lovers and even commit mur- devastates us. Well, guess what. made us sick when Richard Gere and der. We know people in our everyday lives Celebrities are not perfect in any way, Cindy Crawford divorced. Do we feel who do all of these things (except, hopeful- shape or form and should not be treated as crushed when the s~e thing happens to ly, the murder part). We place these people file photo if they are. John and Jane Doe? I at such high ranks Camera Charisma: When a normal In recent weeks, we've read and heard don't think so. "O b l d l b ·n· that it blows our person steps toward the camera, we about Meg Ryan's breakup with Dennis It isn't just those ur e ove ce e n es are minds when a tend to see them as flawless Quaid. This was something that has startled in Hollywood whose human, and therefore (gasp!) famous person does We, as a society, need to get a hold of many across the country, as Ryan is seen as romances we watch not perfect. They make mis- something off the ourselves; if we take the spotlight off of an actress who is cute, charming and lik­ under the microscope; • , wall, and we don't some of our favorite celebrities, we might able. For her and Quaid to split up does not our society is fascinat- takes, JUSt as the rest of US do. know how to deal not be as devastated by some of the things , seem right. To top it all off, Ryan is now ed by the personal lives with it. This goes· they do. In fact, they might stop doing having a relationship with Russell Crowe; of our professional athletes. We have more even as far as our judicial system, which those things altogether. You don't expect the tabloids have even labeled her as preg­ interest in what Mike Tyson does out of the . seem to be a little bit more lenient with yourself to be perfect, so don't expect them nant with his child! If this is true, then boxing ring than what he does in it. The regards to some of our top celebrities in the to be either. maybe she's not as sweet and likable as we phrase "ain't that a shame" always comes sentencing process of a trial. How many \ would like to think her to be. to mind whenever he's in the spotlight times have we seen Robert Downey Jr. and . Adam Hopkins is a sophomore major- This should serve as a wake-up call for because of all the women he has assaulted. Darryl Strawberry in drug rehab? ing in English. PAGE 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION October 24, 2000 Washington Watch Gore Wins Third Debate, But Can He Win the War?

Matt VanDyke sibly his last chance to stop the erosion of like health care and education. from getting things done in Washington if his candidacy. Gore wielded the democratic tool of elected president. On one occasion, when The Bush campaign knew that the The third debate was Gore's populist rhetoric during the pushed by Gore to answer whether he third debate would not be pretty. Not last chance to prove that he was debate, promising seven times to supported affirmative action, Bush only would Gore be prepared with the both knowledgeable, and if not battle. big business for the work- whined to moderator Jim Lehrer that right blend of substance and style, hav­ likeable, then at least tolerable. ing families of America. One Gore was breaking the rules by directly ing learned from the first two debates, He also needed to keep Bush on particularly effective moment questioning him. but Gore had extensive experience with his toes- and ideally knock him was when Gore told the audi- Gore also tried to take away Bush's the town hall format. As a Tennessee sen­ off his feet. By those standards, ence that all of their tax cuts strongest asset, the character issue. If ator, Gore has had held many town-hall the third debate was a great sue- _combined would equal the tax Bush wins on Nov. 7, it is because too meetings with voters, and during cam­ cess for the Gore campaign. The cut of just one millionaire under many voters felt that they could not trust paign events he often takes questions vice president managed to the Bush plan. Gore, whether because of the sins of from the audience after delivering his invade the governor's space to Bush countered with the Clinton, the Buddhist Temple fiasco or speeches. intimidate him, repeatedly inter- Republican line that his oppo- the vice president's tendency to embel­ This was also the format that proved rupted .and broke the debate nent is a "big-government" lib- lish. Gore made an attempt, albeit a weak disastrous when Bush's father was run­ rules by questioning Bush eral, saying that Gore was pro- one, to undermine Bush's edge on the ning for re-election. in 1992, and those directly. Although there was no viewimages.com posing the largest federal spend- character issue by saying how he had memories must have weighed on G.W. decisive blow to end the Bush ing in years. Gore refuted the never broken any laws or proll!ises dur­ going into the debate. Furthermore, the · candidacy, the governor was made uneasy claim by describing how he had helped in ing his 25 years in public life. How many town hall format tends to have the "what enough to stumble over his syntax and at shrinking the size of the federal govern­ voters will take his word about his own will you give me?" questions that prove times have trouble expressing himself in a ment to the smallest size since the Kennedy trustworthiness remains to be seen. bad news for Republican candidates clear and confident manner. administration, while point- A CNNIUSA Today/Gallup poll con­ because they involve social spending - "For me it's sort of like the ing out that in Texas gov- ducted after the debate found that 46 per­ a democrat selling point. story of Goldilocks," Gore "The third debate ~mment had grown under cent believed that Gore had done the best They were right to be anxious about told CNN. "The first debate was Gore's last Bush. job in the debate, while 44 percent the third debate. Gore came out swing­ was too hot, the second debate h h Gore aggressively put thought Bush did better. The poll had a ing, but without the sighs- and gesturing was too cold, the third debate C ance to prove t at Bush on the defensive when margin of error of plus or minus five per­ that had tarnished his victory in the first was just right." he was both knowl- the debate turned to the cent. According to those polled, Bush debate. By any objective measure, Gore While Gore's antics may edgeable and if not issue of health care. was seen as more likeable and believable, dominated the issues and won on points, have helped rally his base, • ' Breaking the debate rules, while Gore was viewed as the candidate consistently refuting Bush's attacks which had serious concerns lzkeable, then .at Gore directly questioned who expressed himself more clearly. while replying with his own slights after the vice president's lack- least tolerable. He Bush about whether he It could be said that the real victor of against the governor's record. Bush spent luster performance in the first l d d k would support the bipartisan these three presidential debates was much of the night on the defensive, and two debates, it may not have a so nee e to eep patients' bill of rights legis- George W. Bush. Even though he may at times seemed uninformed about gone too far in impressing Bush on his toes, lation, the Dingell-Norwood have lost on debating points, his very sur­ specifics. swing voters. Most voters and ideally knock bill, currently in Congress. vival through three rounds against Al During the first debate, Gore was who care about the issues are By using specifics, the vice Gore without any major gaffes or deci­ condescending, obnoxious and aggres­ already decided. It is the him off his feet." president attempted to sive stumbles means that he still has a sive. He won on substance but clearly undecided voters, roughly 15 reveal Bush's lack of expe- good chance at making it to the White lost on style. In the second debate Gore to 20 percent of the eleGtorate, that -will rience and knowledge of the issues, often­ House. Gore may have won the battles, was restrained, taking the advice of his determine this election, and for many their times successfully. but the blood he spilled in doing so may campaign staff in reaction to polls and main concen:is are character and personali- While Bush did effectively reiterate have cost him the war. focus groups. He was so passive that he ty. his theme of restoring honor and dignity to only managed to tie Bush in debating Each candidate stuck with his party's the White House, his replies to Gore's Matt VanDyke is the business man_­ points, if even that. The result of the first traditional philosophies, with Bush speak- attacks were weak and ineffective. Usually ager for The Retriever Weekly. He can be two debates was that Gore lost his edge ing about the size and scope of the federal he would counter indirectly, by suggesting reached by e-mail at in the polls, making the third debate pos- government and Gore sticking to issues that Gore's partisanship would prevent him [email protected].

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down the food chain as ants and ronment as well. ership. Nothing pisses me off more Stephanie Rawlings mosquitoes, it was foolish and According to most statis- than having a rump roast rubbed in my somewhat hypocritical for me tics I have run across, it takes face accompanied by questions The summer after my senior to run around eating cheese- nearly seven pounds of regarding my protein levels and veg­ year in high school I quit eating meat. burgers without a care in grain to produce one pound etable-driven motivations. The very I announced casually over dinner at the world. Damn, reason of beef. Followin·g this thought of pummeling someone with a the Olive Garden that I had changed does it to me again. logic, going vegetarian salad and anti-carnivorous propaganda my eating habits permanently and I haven't missed meat would free up a significant horrifies me. wo.uld appreciate it if my mother all that much, and, for me at amount of grain, not to men- In the end, the decision to become could make me a salad when every­ least, the benefits to a vege- tion a whole lot of land, a vegetarian is a personal choice, and one else was eating steak. My family tarian lifestyle far overshadow allowing the world to deal with one that must be given a lot of consid­ grinned at me as I forfeited my natu­ my occasional crav- the consumption eration. Despite my low cholesterol ral place on the evolutionary ladder ing for a 7-11 chili- "Nothing pisses me off more needs of its popula­ level and decreased body fat, it can be and muttered, "It's a phase. You'll be cheese_ dog. By than having a rump roast tion .more efficiently, difficult to keep my protein levels up begging for a porterhouse in a week." removmg meat and m a manner more and I am missing a few amino acids That was a year-and-a-half ago. from my diet, I dra- rubbed in my face accompanied in keeping with an that are really beneficial to things like I eventually gave up meat when matically cut the by questions regarding my pro- ecologically friendly living. Vegetarianism is a better choice I was faced with a logic I couldn't amount of fat and • lifestyle. for the environment, but you shouldn·t refute. I shouted at a friend who was cholesterol 1 con- tein levels and vegetable-dnven However, and change your lifestyle unless it is also preparing to smash a spider, begging sume, causing me motivations. The very thought this is an awfully big the better choice for you. him not to kill it. I explained that I to lose weight and •.r l. . h caveat in this col­ 0 don't kill even bugs and that I felt it feel healthier, over- J pumme zng someone Wlt a umn, I am in no way Stephanie Rawlings is the was unnecessary to smash spiders. all. Going vegetari- salad and anti-carnivorous _trying to push a vege- Opinion editor for The Retriever He simply pointed out that if I had a an . is a health_Y propaganda horrifies me." tarian lifestyle - on Weekly. She can be reached by e-mail no-kill policy that extended as far chotce for the env1- ~ou , our gentle read- at steph@trw. umbc.edu. . THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 11

Touchstone Pictures and The Retriever Invite You And A Guest To A Special Advance Screening Of the Re·Rel8ase of

lDUCHSTONE PICTURES,... .. TIM BURTON'S "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS" 1 BURTONJDI NOV!,._ IUc:~~DANNY ELFMAN ~=TIM BURTON ~MICHAFL MCDOWELL ~CAROLINE TiiOMPSON ~~~. ~ -.=TIM BURTONwDENISE DINOVI ~HENRY SELICK 00LT~I ~-- -bra'IMIISTArrnll:l~~mam.I!IC.

Limit One Per Person. While Supplies Last. PAGE 12 Oct. 24, 2000

P.oet lovers get Posse keeps it 13 their groove on. on the down low. 22

Dancer in the Dark Green Day not so 21 lights up big screen. , green anymore. 22

(insert name here] Life's

by a n n a kaplan a Picnic

ast week, [Insert Name you have no idea who Phil MICHELLE JABES Here] was so long that Duker is. Sigh. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff L it had to jump from But since Rohini is still page to page twice. In fact, it sending copies of [INH] to To start off this glorious new was so long that it was told to Michigan for Phil to read, year here at UMBC, the Theatre edit itself down a couple of there should be something Department takes us back to a hundred words, which it did written in his praise. So here is quaint little town in the 1950s for not do because, after all, how a little story about how cool he William Inge's play Picnic. can it cut out entries? This is. It is a_ true story that hap­ Written in the early '50s, week, there are no entries. pened to someone on this very Picnic was originally titled The None at all. Not that [INH] is campus. Let's call this person Front Porch and was tried out on surprised at this lack of initia­ "Miranda," just because that is a Broadway audience in 1953. tive on the readers' part. After a really cool name. After unsatisfactory reactions all, throughou~ its history, this Miranda used to work for from the audience, producer Josh column has been notorious for Residential Life. She did not Logan, . among others, began to functioning without entries. like working for Res-idential revise the play to their own lik­ This is why it has been pushed Life. One of the things that ing. Unfortunately, lnge himself from writer to writer: Its sur­ turned her off the most was an was halfway across the nation , vival tends to depend solely on obligatory trip to Genesee when ·these changes were being the wit of the poor slob stuck Valley, a survival camp of made. The revised script, trans­ with the task of its composi­ sorts, where a whole horde of formed to have more commercial tion. Residential Life employees value, was given the title Picnic. Valery Viner I Retriever Weekly Staff The last several weeks have were · taken for "team-build­ This version ran on Broadway for Young Love: Junior Paul Becker courts Jordan Best in this given [INH] new life. There ing" exercises. Miranda and over 500 performances. Later, romantic scene from Picnic. was an abundance of entries Phil were just two of these Inge took his original script and every week; every contest gen­ poor employees. One of the made further changes on it him­ get a little help from his friends. story of a quiet suburban street erated response. But as most exercises they had to do, "the self, and called this third version . The UMBC production, directed inhabited by women from every things that seem too good to be vertical challenge," involved Summer Brave. by theater professor Alan walk of life. Madge (Jordan true, this was. No entries. And hauling ass from treetop to The second version, Picnic, Kreizenbeck, will include the first Best): Young, beautiful and inno­ the contest was a good one too, treetop via some ropes and was made into a film that two acts from the Picnic script cent, wooing the men of the town. at least [INH] thought so: a let­ wooden planks. Miranda was ·received Oscar nominations for and the third act from Summer Millie (Sarah Cassel): Madge's ter to Phil Duker. Granted, this best picture and best director in Brave. tough; mischievous little sister is a bit outlandish, especially if see INSERT, page 24 1953. Inge himself won a Pulitzer A classic example of Prize for his work, even if he did American realism, Picnic tells the see PICNIC, page 14 Season of Conquer Conquers the Witch Big at Center Stage Taking a Wrong KATHRYN ROUSE tickles the fancy of the audience. Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Of course, the language is archaic Thrn at the MD and the plot predictable, but what Center Stage, quite possibly holds your interest is the lively Blair Film Site the coolest theater in Baltimore, performance, the whimsical set and the stunning costumes. n October of 2000, Retriever opened its season with a classic The plot is as follows: The Weekly senior writer Jamie comedy, She Stoops to Conquer, Hardcastles, consisting of the I Peck and two acquaintances written by Oliver Goldsmith. noble mister and missus and their disappeared in the woods near Goldsmith penned his lightly daughter and son, live in a rustic Seneca Park, Maryland, while satirical work in 1773, but more attending the Blair Witch Hunt. than two centuries later, under the . A day later, his journal and direction of Irene Lewis, it still see CENTER STAGE, page 14 two rolls of 800 speed film were found.

Oct. 20 5:57 p.m. I shudder to think about the upcoming night. Right now, I, along with my good friends Keith and Nisha, am en route to Seneca Park for the Blair Witch Hunt. We're in transit Jamie Peck I Retriever Weekly Staff this very moment, actually, on the Terrifying Twigs: The creepy stick figures popularized by The capital beltway looking for our Blair Witch Project decorated Se_neca Park. exit onto 270. It's hard to pen a journal entry when you're behind tion of spooked, excited and anx­ woods of Seneca, the location the wheel of a car ... ious. All three of us were at least where BWP · was filmed, is Hey, buddy, use your turn sig­ a little scared by The Blair Witch unnerving to say the least. I mean, nal or get off the road! Yeah, back Project, and the fact that we'll be yeah, it's only a movie, but still, Center Stage at ya, jerk. spending the night participating But Daddy, I Like Him: The lovely Kate Hardcastle and her Anyways, we're a combina- in various creepy activities in the see BlAIR WITCH, page 15 father make a hilarious duo in the Center Stage production. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 13 Second UMBC Poetry Reading Gets Feet Tapping

MICHELLE JABES creatures and had some especially power­ Allen sang African phrases and moved with Burke softly took the stage, fighting a bad Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff ful lines. She first described them as "wrin­ the rhythm of her work, immediately draw­ cold. Bravely she began her presentation, kled fists of limp skin and hair" and went ing the audience into her world. Using citing the deep importance of music in her It was heartening to see more faces at on to say that their "symmetry shines like a intermediate song and rhyme, her work writing life, which immediately explained this second poetry reading last Thursday. A child's closed lids." Broadening the scope takes on a jazzy quality, with catchy lines the many drums and rattles she brought • quiet group of poetry lovers and creative of the poem, later she asked "would you like "pretty me up with ribbons and with her. Everyone in the audience then' writing students all helped to set up chairs believe the ground would save you, when bows/took me to the [picture] shows." She received something to play, wooden sticks, on the seventh floor of the AOK Library to the sky would not?" spoke at length of her quest for meaning to rain sticks, gourd shakers, even happy face watch professional poets Katharine Cottle, Later, Cottle read some of her work doing her work, confiding that she wanted drum spinners. I myself got a "chicken Lynette-Nefertitti Allen and LindaJoy which concerned a very difficult topic for. no part of the "ego masturbation" that oth­ shake" egg which I rattled to the beat. B.urke perform their work. most writers -writing. Indeed any writer ers on the quest only for fame and fortune While playing on her own djembe drum, They were easy to distinguish from the would know the challenge in actually aim for. Her answer was that she wanted to "J:3urke recited her jazzy poems with fervor, group, with only young, bright-faced writing about the writing process itself, be "living authentically in [her] truth" and with lines like "have a smoke/it's all a Katharine Cottle managing to blend in the intangible as it is. ~ut Cottle's poems advised to other aspiring writers to make it joke" and other catchy rhymes- which with a college crowd. Nefertitti Allen, fit­ about her own difficulty creating after fin­ a priority to bring their own truth to the added to the movement of the beat. ting with her name, appeared almost regal, ishing her own master's in fine arts pro­ page. The poems that followed were just as adorned in a simple white sweater and head gram, as well as the subconscious "line Her poems, mostly having to do with stellar without audience aid, including wrap accented by a gold elephant pendant. stealing" that many writers do~ were all "everyday things," were entertaining and ones about her father and social issues LindaJoy Burke stood out from the crowd huge successes and really got to the hearts honest, especially coming from this woman ("breakfast made my daddy a champion" the most, a colorful character in green tye­ of writers as we see ourselves. Her exper­ whose energy was contagious. Her poem "I and "he spoke freely about not really being dye, with long dreadlocks decorated with imental work, "Satelli,te," works on many am a mansion" had some winning lines free"), as well as religion in "How Do You assorted wooden beads and jade baubles levels, seeing the world from the various including "I am a wo-mansion" and "don't Pray?" Her own favorite poem, as well as spilling down her back. views of a satellite, zoomed in, out, up, even think about bringing anything tacky mine, was the orie she finished with, an Welcomed here by the Maryland State down, within. It was obvious after her up in here." Her fun "voyeur" poems extremely powerful work about a female Poetry and Literary Society, Cottle took the stellar reading that Cottle really reached delved into the lives of neighbors, one soldier who loses her life in the war in stage first. Accompanied by her mother the audience and has an incredible career being a sexually-provocative Danya, a Angola. This poem certainly struck a chord grinning proudly from the audience, ahead of her. If I were her mother, I'd be woman whose advise about men was "tie in her heart as well as the audience's, and Cottle's work wowed the audience with its grinning too. them up, gag them, get what you want and was a stunning finale to her vivid and stunning originality and vivid imagery. She Without a need for introduction, the get out." Allen's fantastic strength and dynamic presentation. read her work in groups with a common lovely Nefertitti Allen . then assumed her spunk could be summed up in her wonder­ I cannot say enough about the talents of theme, the first being, strangely enough, position and without further ado launched ful comment, "It's okay to be a Klingon these three women, and the enjoyment to dead animals. These poems were not mor­ directly into a dynamic performance poem diva some days." be had at these poetry readings. I advise bid though, as one would expect them to incorporating scenes from her childhood, · Finally, accompanied by a gigantic bas­ everyone, poetry connoisseurs or not, to be, but were instead pensive. Her poem her mother and growing up with a deep ket full of various percussion instruments, come and experience the music of poetry "Tv:'o Bats" was a study of the bodies of the love for music. With no papers in her hand, the self-named "Bag Lady Diva," LindaJoy available to us here at UMBC.

1:00- 3:00pm

Door prizes University Center sponsored by: Ballroon, Lounge Applebees White Marsh Theaters Monday) GJctober 30) 2000

1:00 to 3:00 pm

Sponsored by: The Career Development and Placement Center

phone: 410-455-2216 www. careers. umbc. edu Email: [email protected]. edu UMBC

Come to The Retriever Weekly's FUNFEST for free movie passes, goodies & more! Ever Wednesda at I .m. on the UC Plaza! PAGE 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 Stage Is Pure Goldsmith from CENTER STAGE, page 12 Stage. The 1970s-inspired costu·mes, designed by Candace Donnelly, are outra­ old mansion in the English countryside. geous. Hastings is adorned with round pur­ Tony, the son, is an "18th cenwry Jim ple sunglasses and a violet velvet coat, Carrey," according to The Next Stage guide while his sweetheart Neville is decked out published by the theater. He is a twen- in a sparkly bodice, huge silver skirt, fish­ . tysomething spoiled brat who prances, nets and black boots. The variety of colors jumps and flops about on stage. Tony is ter­ and fabrics complement John Conklin's ribly uncouth and troublesome, the oppo­ oversized set, which moves around site of his half-sister Kate, who has a weak­ throughout the show, becoming the living ness for outrageous dress, but otherwise room, bar and garden thicket. Center Stage just wants a hubby with some spunk. Kate is always visually stunning, and the reno­ is to· be courted by Sir Charles Marlow, an vations to the Pearlstone Theater only adorably shy and reserved man around the enhance the experience. higher class, but regular rouge with the Criticisms of the show are few. There ladies of the bar. Marlow's friend George are a few strange musical interludes that Hastings is to be wed to Kate's cousin and serve little purpose. An overtly cheery, friend Constance Neville. Already, things pantomimed dance is performed by are complicated. Hardcastle and Neville when t~ey meet, Nate West I Retriever Weekly Staff To make matters worse Marlow and accompanied by what sounds like Bach Intimate Moment: Vanessa Buono and Jesse Hull have a heated confrontation in 1 Hastings arrive at the Three Pigeons, a redone by a wedding singer of the 1980s a scene from Picnic. favorite hangout of Tony's, and the mis­ with bad equipment. Thankfully, these chievous son directs them to his mother's bizarre and rather pointless additions, house under the pretext of showing them to which are not executed with much confi­ View From the Front Porch an inn. As you can already guess, the rest of dence by the actors, are few. The only from PICNIC, page 12 of the characters, such as Millie, try hard to the scenes are terribly funny, if thoroughly other complaint is that the show is not yet fight their expectations. Others, like predictable. fluid in its execution. Some of this is due to who refuses to conform to society. Madge's mother Flo (Liz Fisher), accept Laurence O'Dwyer, who portrays Mr. the nature of the play; Goldsmith constant­ Rosemary (Vanessa Buono): The desperatt: their places in society. This juxtaposition Hardcastle and is a long time player at ly reminds the audience through the dia­ schoolteacher starved for love and com­ of many differing female personalities is Center Stage, has an excellent command of logue that they are b~ing , entertained by panionship. We observe the lives of these what makes this play compelling and very both the stage and the audience. Jefferson performers. It is not his purpose to delude women and many more, all living as the real. Mays is delightfully silly as Tony Lumpkin them into thinking that this is real life. 1950s saw fit. But everything seemed to Chock full of romance, lust, despera­ and seems to enjoy running about like a There were some small mistakes in deliv­ change as Hal (Jesse Hull), a wild, tion, longing and humor, Picnic is an all­ precocious 4-year-old. His temper tantrums ery and a misplaced set piece, all of which untamed young man enters their midst. American play about life in the '50s. Along are hilarious in their absurdity. Carrie were corrected through improvisation by A quiet, yet emotionally strong play, the way we meet endearing characters, Preston, Anna Louise Zachry and James the performers. She Stoops to Conquer is Picnic carries its weight in the depth of its each with his or her own worries, loves and Joseph O'Neil are unremarkable but per­ the first production of the new season and likable characters and their unique relation­ desires. So diverse are the individuals in fectly adequate as Kate, Constance and is only a little over a week old in its run­ ships with each other. We follow not only this play that everyone who sees it will see George, respectively. The scenes between ning time. one life, but see the events and turning a little bit of themselves in each of them. Prestmi as Kate and Reese Madigan as Overall, She Stoops -to Conquer, or The points in many lives, all from the front And by watching ourselves can we learn a Charles are achingly funny in ·their similar­ Mistakes of a Night, is worth seeing. If at porch of a suburban scene. Kreizenbeck little more about who we really are. ity to real life, even 200 years later. any given point either the lines or the comments that he was attracted to the Picnic will show at the lTMBC Theatre Marlow's inability to interact with high actors fail to entertain, the other will. "physicality between Hal and Madg~, and on Oct. 25, 27 and 28 at 8 p.m. Matinees society maidens inspires Kate to act as a Goldsmith's classic comedy was an excel­ how the values of beauty and physical abil­ will be performed on Oct. 26 and 29 at 4 barmaid, and when she discovers a com- lent, if not surefire choice for the opening ity become questioned." Many of the char­ p.m. The Oct. 26 show is free to all UMBC . pletely different side to him, we can't help of the season, and everyone can enjoy the acters represent the state of being for many students, faculty and staff. General admis­ but laugh in understanding. show. While this is no~ Center Stage at its women in the 1950s, who are entangled in sion is $6. For more information and ticket The visual presentation is whimsical absolute finest, if they have at all_stooped their expected social roles of that era. Some reservations, call x2476. and eclectic, a characteristic of Center to conquer, it is a victory. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 15 Blair Witch Hunt No Walk in Seneca Park from BLAIR WITCH, page 12 so with lamps shining a blood­ red light on them. sometimes life imitates art, you know? And It's early yet. Buses carry­ there are those who insist that BWP was not ing the contest winners are still a work of fiction, so ... arriving, so the crowds aren't I heard that Artisan Entertainment, the quite thick. We're going to go studio behind BWP and Book of Shadows: claim a tent as far removed Blair Witch 2, the original's to-be-released­ from the woods as possible. next-weekend sequel, went all out for the Just in case. hunt. Apparently, it's supposed to be like a big rave in the middle of the forest, with a 7:01p.m. ton of food and drink, a musical line-up Tent: check. Bags stashed. that includes Poe, Godhead and Perry Now it's time to nosh. Farrell and guided tours out to Coffin A large tent in the middle of Rock, with the whole shindig broadcast the campsite features quite a live on the Internet; it's the official culmi­ mouth-watering spread. nation of the Blair Witch Webfest Sandwiches from Subway (www.blairwitchwebfest.com), which has thick with toppings, a gargan- been up and running online since Wednesday, with live chats from the cast and makers of Book of Shadows and spe­ cialists on the occult. Whether or not the Blair Witch herself will make an appearance at the hunt has, of course, yet to be determined. OK, some jackass driving a semi just screamed, "Don't write while driving, moron!" Geez, some people ...

6:22p.m. My posse wanted to stop at a store on the way to Seneca to purchase a few sundry necessi­ ties (extra batteries, bottled water, the new issue of Swank, etc.), so now we find ourselves Jamie Peck I Retriever Weekly Staff hurriedly roaming the aisles of Haunted Weekend: Sights from the Blair Witch Hunt campsite included, clockwise the Giant on Clopper Road. from top, rows of tents that resembled a graveyard; revelers keeping warm around Keith, who brought along a a bonfire; and Keith keeping an eye on his spooky surroundings in hopes of cap­ video camera to film our turing something freaky on tape. adventure, is Memorexing our impromptu mini-spree, just 7:19p.m. So now, we're trekking through the like Heather did when she, Just about to empty my bladder in the woods •. swatting at jagged branches and Josh and Mike taped their park restroom before embarking into the kicking at the foliage in our path, being ~ed marshmallow-and-Power-Bar woods. OK, need my hands for something to Coffin Rock by a grizzled park ranger binge in The Blair Witch other than writing now ... named Steve, the bright lights of the news Project. How cool is that? crew illuminating our way. It's hard to The cashier is mad at me. Yeah, yeah, I tuan container filled with ice and 7:28p.m. write and walk simultaneously; I've know. The express lane is called that for a Moosehead beer, and assorted platters of Coffm Rock is a bit too far to walk from already stumbled once and tripped twice. I reason. Lemme finish this one sentence and chips, cheese, veggies and desserts. Keith Seneca, so we - along with about 18 other think I'll put the pen and paper away until we'll be moving on. Like nobody's ever jokes, "Eat up, this could be our 'last meal." iron-willed stalwarts - are being driven we get to Coffin Rock. held up a supermarket line to journalize Ha ha ha. Very funny. there by bus. It's now very dark out, and the before. Sheesh. With as much food and drink as our backroad to our destination is steep and 8:41p.m. P.S. No Swank. "Family establish­ arms can hold (and still allow me to write windy. Keith is passing the time by fidget­ Two syllables come to mind: spoo and ments" don't sell it. in this journal), we make our way outside ing with the camera, while Nisha and I are ky. and sit on the grass in front of the stage. wondering aloud if this is such a good idea. Coffin Rock looks just like it did in The 6:45p.m. The STAFF guys are beginning to sound­ She just said, "This bus could drop us off Blair Witch Project: foreboding, ·mysteri­ We have ~ved. Wow, this place is check so that the DJs can spin some music, and leave, and we'd probably never be able ous and supernatural, like a ritualistic mur­ totally decked out. giving the assembled party-goers a reason to find our way back to the camp." der and evisceration could've legitimately It's almost dark here at Seneca Park, the to shake their collective booty and keep happened here. Ranger Steve keeps insist­ low light taking the already-eerie campsite, warm while the temperature drops. 8:24p.m. ing we're safe and sound, but he's not even oh, 27 steps further. Yikes. The rows of Aw, man! A dollop of mustard just fell The bus just dropped -us off and left. armed, unless you count hi_s Eveready mini-tents Artisan has generously provided on this page. Sigh. I'll lick it off and write Well ... not really. spotlight and hiking boots. And really, for the Webfest revelers - a crowd that around the stain. What actually happened was that there what good are those going to do - unless includes VIP invitees (like me), lucky were two tours planned; half the passen­ we run afoul of an evil vampire cockroach? locals awarded prizes from 99.1 WHFS 7:13p.m. gers went on Tour A (broadcast live on the Just a glance at the casket-shaped rock and national contest winners - to spend . An Artisan rep just approached us mid- Blair Witch Webfest site), while the other jutting out of the water and onto a jagged the night in what looks like grave markers . chew and informed us that a guided tour to half got to stick around and wait for Tour B stone foundation sends a shiver up my in a cemetery. (Foreshadowing?) Those Coffin Rock would be leaving momentar-.. (filmed for media. outlets like E! News spine. The strange noises echoing through crudely-fashioned stick figures that suffi­ ily from the Seneca parking lot. Last night, Daily and Entertainment Tonight). Keith, the wood surrounding us aren't helping ciently freaked out the characters in BWP, we watched The Blair Witch Project, so Nisha and I decided to stick around and settle my stomach, either. Ranger Steve so freaky in their simplicity, are dangling the story is fresh in our minds. Coffin wait for Tour B, occupying ourselves by says aloud that they're probably just forest from tree branches. Rock played an integral part in its mythol­ roaming around the eerie abandoned mill animals trying to find a warm place to Hefty guys with passes around their ogy, where a search party of five men were nearby the parked bus while we waited for sleep. I'm saying to myself that Ranger necks that say STAFF are carrying equip­ killed and disemboweled while looking the A kids to return. When they did, the bus Steve might know where one can get a nice ment to and around a large stage set-up in for a little girl who was allegedly taken by departed with them. The driver said he'd shot ofPepto. front of the woods. And these woods, men­ the Blair Witch. The bodies were never return for us as soon as he dropped them acing enough on their own, are even more found. off back at the camp. see BLAIR WITCH, page 24

+ PAGE 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 24, 2000

- · ext week's Focus is on the elections, so we're bringing the haunts · and horrors to you a week early this year. The Focus on Top 10 Movie Scenes Halloween will terrorize your soul as well as make you laugh as we bring you reviews of some of our favorite scary movies, suggestions Guaranteed to Scare for costume ideas and other delightfully devious subjects. Halloween is one of our favorite holidays- a day when you can be whoever or what­ ever you want.,Presently this Hallmark-motivated tradition that we con­ An Abbreviated Collection of the Most nect with small children in witch and army men costumes has ancient roots that traverse almost every culture and religion. Horrific Moments in Film History There are several theories surrounding the origins of Halloween, J.J. LJNTON makes us jump every time we see it. including connections with the Catholic Church's All Hallow~s Eve and Retriever Weekly Staff Writer ancient druid fire festivals. The modem celebrations of Halloween are as 6. The Haunting: No, not the digi­ numerous as the holiday's roots. From the small children who threaten to Hall~ween is once again upon us. exciting remake. I'm talking about the trick those who don't give them treats, to the beer-swilling college parties What better way to get ready for the black and white original. When the creepiest, and one of my favorite, nights door bends and the walls moan, you (in which we're sure none of you will be engaging), Halloween is a wide­ of the year than to watch scary movies? thank the heavens you're not those two ly loved and celebrated festival. So grab your pumpkins and prepare to It beats egging my neighbor's house. women huddling together. suit up as the Focus section carves out spme Halloween havoc. Ever since we were young, there have been movies that made us sleep with the We will now take a break before the lights on. Out of those movies came top five to give an honorable mention scenes that that stayed in our memory. to Battle Field Earth. Nothing is more Stupid Teens Die in Texas Since it is Halloween, it's time to· take a scary than to realize at the end of the BY ADAM CRAIGMILES isn't just B-horror, but art. look at the top 10 scariest movie movie that you will not get those 117 Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff We begin our narrative with five stupid moments. I believe the ones chosen are minutes (I checkeQ.) back. And yes, teens heading out on a stupid, ill-explained the scenes that stand out in all of· our don't collapse with fear, there will be a In order for a movie to spawn a sequel, quest to see some old family house of the minds and make· us check under the bed second 011e. Now on to the top five: it has to be somewhat decent. But four two siblings in the group. Wheelchair­ before we go to sleep. sequels: lookout! And so it is with the 1974 bound Franklin is the first to be introduced 5. Alien: This is one of the first cult classic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. in a failed attempt to piss in a can on the .10. Sixth Sense: Yes, this is a new one movi·es that made us yell at the screen Truly, it is the horror movie genre at its side of the road. He ends up face down in a and not all that scary, but it still has at how stupid the characters were. finest. ditch. (Oh the days of pre-PC humor.) some creepy scenes. When Forrest When Tom Skerritt is looking for the The cinematography is breathtaking. One crazed hitchhiker and a long astrol­ Gump Jr. is shivering in his tent and the alien you just wonder how dumb and From the opening shots of decomposed ogy reading later, the five stupid teens are little girl throws up, you'd have to admit slow you have to be to be a spaceship corpses wired in artistic fashion against the nearly out of gas in a de1;1erted gas station you wish you didn't see dead people. captain. Texas sunrise, to the low, wedgy camera · with two inbred attendants. They persevere angles of the two chainsaw-chum after some oh-so-clever foreshadowing, 9. The Blair Witch: Every one has seen 4. Jaws: After all those years nobody nymphets, one automatically realizes that finally arriving at the sought-after house­ it. Every one has been to Burkittsville. will set foot in the ocean without what is on the an abandoned, creepy dump. The stupid But when poor Heather drops her cam­ thinking about this movie. The opening era after seeing her friend in the wall, scene spells out the whole movie and we get that nice eerie foreboding feeling makes us see the consequences of mix­ just like the one you get when the ing Milwaukee's Best and folk music. teacher is about to hand back the midterms. 3. The Shining: Ever want to stay in a haunted hotel in the middle of Cemetery: There are always nowhere during a blizzard with a mad movies that your parental man after you? After seeing visions of figure told you not to the two little girls followed by a naked watch. When you see lady in a tub, I guess you are going to Zelda with her go with a "no." crooked spine saying "Rachel" we wish 2. Psycho: Even though it's in black just once we had lis­ and white and the blood is chocolate tened to Mom. syrup, there is not one time we take a shower and don't peer out through the 7. Halloween: curtain just to check. You just hope We have to honor your roommate doesn't like to cross­ the holiday with dress on the side. the movie that honors it. I.· The Exorcist: This movie is all­ Michael Myers around too scary to just focus on one after scene. But the best_ parts are the entire Lee exorcist scene and the blood-spewing spider-walk in the new release. This one movie makes you want to go to scene that church every Sunday. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 24, 2000 PAGE 17 The Version of The Exorcist That You Have Never Seen ·Before Now

ALYSON SPURGAS imperative. Retriever Weekf.v Editorial Staff The most frightening of the "new" footage was actually in director William "There were 11 and-a-half minutes of Friedkin's cut of the movie, and was difference between the new version and never included in the original theater the old one." That's what the theater version. Some of the most terrifying Rounds announcer said after the credits had psychological aspects of the movie are started to roll at Bengie's Drive-In the fast cuts of a demon's face, when the Movie Theater. There were definitely a viewer sees the white face of an evil of The couple of noticeably new scenes in the spirit for a split second during another freshly-released version of The Exorcist, scene. There are originally three scenes but 11 and-a-half minutes of brand new like this in the first version of the Evil Dead footage sounds a bit excessive. movie: one during one of Father Karras' Based on the classic novel by dreams and two during the final exor­ William Peter Blatty, The Exorcist was cism scene. In the new version, one can STEPHANIE RAWLINGS I suffer from violent nightmares, and originally released in theaters in 1973. glimpse an even scarier, bloodier ver­ Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff The Blair Witch Project left me gibbering Shqcking audiences to this day, it sion of the face when Regan is at the and moaning in the corner of my bed depicts taboo and horrifying subjects doctor's office the first time, when Chris The scene is set deep in the dark, aban­ cradling a large hunting knife. Psycho, spanning the desecration of religious is in the kitchen just after the power has doned woods. There is a mist creeping The Exorcist and Night of the Living Dead objects to possession by satanic demons gone out and when the face appears on heavily over the ground and a black fog all had similar effects. I simply can't to a 12 year-old girl masturbating with a Regan's bedroom door. Besides the blocking out the moon. A woman is run­ stomach straight horror movies. Too high­ crucifix. Set in Washington, D.C., in the demonic faces, the only other noticeable ning through the woods in her nightgown strung I guess. However, in The Evil Dead Georgetown area, one can actually visit difference in footage is the infamous and bare feet; she is screaming. Suddenly, trilogy, all the gore is nicely tempered the steps where Father Karras, one of "spider-walk" scene, during which a something grabs her ankle and she falls. with twisted, stupid jokes. It's hard to be the exorcising priests in the movie, falls possessed Regan descends a staircase She struggles against her attacker only to scared of a movie in which the hero to his death (nothing to do this with her hands and feet on the steps and find that it is a thick vine hanging from watches his friend literally explode and Halloween?). The Exorcist is the story her stomach in the air, in a kind of one of the gnarled old trees. As the vine shrivel into a twisted mass of badly col­ of Regan (Linda Blair), a little girl who inverted crab-walk (like you used to do tightens its grip on the woman, its ored gelatin. eventually becomes both the protagonist in gymnastics). At the bottom, she sticks brethren fall from their trees and grab her Another selling point for these movies and the antagonist of the movie, and her her serpent-like tongue out and spits wrists, knees, elbows and hair. She thrash­ is the hero himself. Ash is damn cool. He adventures with possession. After play­ blood in the direction of the camera (at es on the ground, squealing and begging cracks stupid jokes, is crude and self-serv­ ing with a Ouija board in her basement, her mother). These added scenes defi­ for mercy from the treac:herous vegeta­ ing and has a hand that, through the an evil spirit enters Regan's body and nitely add a lot to the movie, but they tion. She is sexually accosted by the head course of the movies, becomes a chainsaw forces her to do crazy things like vomit only account for approximately 10 or 15 vine before she is able to break free and and subsequently a shut gun. pea-soup colored ooze on everyone that seconds of new footage. The other 11 run back into the house. Promptly there­ In fact, the only criti~ism I have for comes within 10 feet of her, speak minutes and 15 seconds are lost on the after, for no apparent reason, she becomes these movies are their loosely constructed English backwards in a deep, scary viewer. a gibbering, demonic deadite. and often all too hole-y plots. I never voice and rotate her head 180 degrees on This movie was just as good the sec­ No doubt about it, The Evil Dead trilo­ quite figured out what turned people into her neck. For some reason, everyone ond time around as the first. If your idea gy is a magnificent achievement in the deadites, except that it usually had to do except her mother, Chris MacNeil (Ellen of a good movie is a psychological cheesy horror film genre. All three films with the spilling of blood. tots of people Burstyn), seems to think her problems thriller with religious overtones and just were .directed by Sam Raimi and star were bitten, a la Night of the Living Dead, are purely psychological, until Damien the right amount of vulgarity and gore, Bruce Campbell as Ash, the man unlucky but one woman went evil after being Karras (Jason Miller) becomes involved the new and improved version of The enough to be constantly plagued by stabbed with a number two pencil. and realizes that an exorcism may be Exorcist is for you! hoards of the hideously ugly undead. The However, when one is talking about clas­ · films' thin conceit revolves around Ash sic cheesy horror, plots are .second to the and whatever expendable characters hap­ gore factor and serve mainly as a vehicle pen to be around at the time, playing a for the hero to kill some monsters. tape of passages read from the So rent The Evil Dead, The Evil Dead Necronomicron, or book of the dead. Two: Dead by Dawn and The Evil Dead Once the passages are read aloud, evil Three: Army of Darkness this Halloween. Halloween Costume Ideas things wake up and come to eat the hap­ You will impress all your friends with less humans. your sick sense of humor and cult trendi­ The first two films are done in classic, ness. Just remember to keep a shotgun on The Five Best: The Five Worst: cheesy horror film style. There's plenty of hand with your beer and not to read gore, the lighting is bad and the deadites any strange passages out of Billy Idol - He was the king of French Maid - This costume is were probably working for corn nuts. The books bound singable '80s pop tunes; and he has played out and boring. Period. final film, Army of Darkness, was done human skin. cool hair. with a much larger budget and boasted a Br.itney Spears- (Unless you're cast of hundreds rather than just five. Buttercup (of the Powerpuff Girls) a guy . . . then it would be kind of What these films really have going for - Just because she's so damn funny.) them is their twisted sense of sassy. humor and Raimi's real­ A Teletubby - They're really the damn Paper Bag Monster - This cos­ annoying and just too damn pastel tume is easy and affordable, and (unless you can't speak any lan­ you can most likely find the materi­ guage coherently, in which case this als lying around your house. is the costume for you).

Any character from Star Wars - Any character from Eyes Wide Just get yourself a light-saber and Shut- Unless trick-or-treating in you're ready to go. a thong is your idea of a good time.

George W. Bush - If you get the George W. Bush -Iif you get the accent down, you'll be easily rec­ accent down, you'll be easily rec­ ognized. ognized. PAGE 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 24, 2000 H-orror Flicks: An Art Form Since the Beginning of Cinematic History

ANTHONY CROCAMO tic merit. But when stacked up against the Retriever Weekly Staff Writer current crop of sitcom garbage or standup comedian nonsense, the films of Herschel There is certainly no shortage of nay­ Gordon Lewis can often gamer quite a few sayers and the like who delight in criticiz­ more laughs thanks to his trademark ing anyone who has definitively declared obscene over/under acting and shoddy edit­ him or herself a fan of horror films. These ing. This is not to say that horror fJ.lms can critical types most often operate on the only offer a certain unintended comedic assumption that anything with a fake value. Rather, they can transcend the http://www.hotshotdigital.com/WellAlwaysRemember.2/SidVicious.html decapitation or an exploding head is a) exploitative properties set forth by Lewis Never Mind the Bollocks: Here's the best darrm costume idea ever. Start sav­ offensive and/or b) not of any value what­ and others such as Roger Corman or T.V. ing for that bottle of hair gel now. soever. Granted, there are a myriad of bad Mickels and venture in.to the realm of artis­ horror movies out there, but the joy of finding tic worth. The illustrious Lewis is not a A Last-Minute Guide to one of the many seldom-mentioned gems the good example of this, but Dario Argento is. genre has to offer is almost unrivaled. Hailed by some as the "Italian Take, for example, the works of the Hitchcock" and by others as a shallow aes­ Halloween Costumes tragically unknown director Herschel thete, Argento played no small part in cre­ Gordon Lewis. This man most certainly ating the short-lived but very prolific zom­ DAHLIA NAQIB wire-rimmed glasses (optional); red plastic hat changed the cinematic world when he (and bie craze in Italy when . he worked with Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff resembling a flower-pot worn upside down cohort David Friedman) invented the "gore George Romero on Dawn of the Dead in Attitude: Let everyone know you can real­ film" with Bloodfeast in 1963. There had 1978. This classic of the zombie variety Forget traditional ghosts and witches ly whip it, whip it good - defmitely a been blood in films before, but the vicious­ tells of the whole world getting into some and especially the "I'm using Halloween as good way to get everyone's candy. ness achieved in Bloodfeast was utterly trouble when the dead rise from their an excuse to dress up." Missy Elliott: linrivalyd at the time and still shocks view­ respective graves and eat people. Argento Good costumes are based on characters Accessories: wear only a big, black, shiny ers some 37 years later. This supremely also directed such fine films as Suspiria (a and creatures with an identity and some of garbage bag that balloons out - great for entertaining film (honestly one of the most girl gets a little surprise when she enrolls in the more outrageous creatures can be found holding candy amusing ever made thanks to cheaper-than­ a dance academy run by witches) and Deep in the music industry which, under onbyee Attitude: You can't stand people who don't cheap production values) tells of a detec­ Red (the story of a pianist who witnesses a roof, houses the Thorn Yorkes and Jon Bon give you candy. tive and his girlfrien~ who get a little more bizarre murder). As with most of Argento's Jovis of the world - a guarantee that Elton John (circa Yellow Brick Road): than they bargained for when investigating films, these two examples exhibit his slick, you'll find a satisfying costume idea. Accessories: toupee; sequins; big brown strange murders committed by a ca,terer· atmospheric, aesthetically-driven style and Dressing up like and taking on the atti­ sunglasses with gradual tint; sequinned who has taken to collecting human ingredi­ his uncanny talent to utilize colors and tude of a recording artist not only gives you platform shoes; sequins; grand piano. ents. Only a handful of great films are more composition (mise en s.cene) to their full the chance to go to accessory-extremes, but Attitude: You know you rock out. Get your enjoyable to watch than Bloodfeast, but mood-creating potential. also gives your Halloween character a per­ candy and worry about the extra pounds later. incidentally one of them is H.G. Lewis' fol­ Now, Argento may not have the same cal­ sonality- you can truly be someone else Elton John (circa 1980s): low-up picture, 2000 Maniacs. This fine iber of symbolism that one finds in pieces by for the night, Lord of the Flies style. Accessories: bigger toupee; big, white, piece of filmmaking tells of some Yankees Goddard or Fellini, but this is not to say that Here's a short list of highly recom­ heart-shaped, plastic '80s sunglasses; cane; who get a little more than they bargained his films are not valid and respectable works mended manic musicians whose styles suit; hat. · for when a rather enthusiastic group of of art. Such is the case with the entire spec­ have taken on their own characters- and Attitude: You're a God and you know it. southern rascals decide to seek reyenge for trum of horror; macabre cinema has much tips on how to best get into character: Work that piano. the Civil War on th~ bicentennial of the more to offer than some are willing to admit. Lil Kim: event. And what about Herschel's bitter­ But thankfully a slight resurgence in populari­ Accessories: Pick a color (preferably blue, sweet swansong, 1972's The Gore Gore ty (the so-called ''third generation of gore green, pink) and wear everything in that Girls wherein some go-go dancers (get it?) hounds") has led to the re-release of niany color: wig, eye makeup, lipstick, contact meet their untimely deaths when an appar­ Argento and Herschel Gordon Lewis films lenses, clothing - least amount possible. ently angry and very thorough killer (among other previously unsung directors) Attitude: You're hot and you don't take decides to brutally murder them? making these timeless. classics easier to find crap from nobody - especially men - Why are these pieces of cinema's histo­ than ever. Perhaps this will lead to the long and you will have your chocolate craving ry not known by most? Because when peo­ over-due acclaim that these directors deserve, satisfied. Now. With that Kit Kat bar. ple see a dismembered mannequin or an · but then again, people will still surely be prone Ozzy Osbourne: impaled dummy, they refuse to acknowl­ to cringe at the filming of bashed-in man­ Accessories: Eye liner- lots of it; rings; edge any entertainment value or even artis- nequin heads. small, hippy sunglasses worn low; wig of long, stringy brown hair; muddled, trashy incomprehensible British accent. Attitude: Make little children give you their candy by biting off birds' heads. Yum. Sid Vicious: Accessories: Black hair styled with five o_unces of gel; safety pins - big ones, http://www.henson.com IHclllowe responsible short, blonde poofed-out wig; black clothing. Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Marilyn Attitude: You've been bad, but you're still Monroe, Marilyn Manson - okay~ so IL.Ja~wsc>n#s Creek~ getting that candy. maybe it's not so common to remove a few Devo (circa Freedom of Choice note: With ribs, strap on breasts, wrap yourself up in a 1~1I1eoc:e C)f t:ne tani6$:. One of thre~ films ·to win the ~Golden all due respect to the genius that was Devo, rubber body suit, but he's still a big, greasy all of the band members looked much the ball of cliches. Avoid the Manson. same, so no specific names will be given. If And if you do choose to dress as a you follow this Devo-recipe, you won't be recording artist for Halloween, drop by the just a person. You'll be the Devo- all of Retriever office in costume Monday or it: Tuesday or bring p. photo of your weekend Accessories: whip; silver bodysuit; black getup for free movie passes. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FOCUS October 24, 2000 PAGE 19

Inner-City Kids Trick.;or­ THE UMBC HONORS COLLEGE Treat on UMBC Campus FALL 2000 VISITING SCHOLAR LECTURE

ALYSON SPURGAS izers] have to put a special stamp on the Presents Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff permission slips so that the kids don't let their friends photocopy them!" Apparently, The Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, most of the kids have never seen a college Lambda Kappa Chapter, will be providing campus and many of them don't. even real­ kids from inner-city Baltimore with a safe ly know what college is, so they are very Dr. Robert Freedman place to trick-or-treat this year around excited to be able to spend time with col­ Halloween. This is the lOth year the soror­ lege students and trick-or-treat at UMBC. ity has organized the event on UMBC's Unfortunately, there is only room for 25 Former President campus. On Oct. 26, members of the soror­ kids to come to UMBC, ages 6-11 years­ ity will pick up 25 kids from the Douglas old, so many of them get turned down. The Baltimore Hebrew University Homes Housing Community in Baltimore ones who do get to trick-or-treat seem to and bring them to UMBC for a fun-filled have a gre.at time. According to_ Reese, evening of trick-or-treating and pizza-eat­ "Many of the kids leave campus talking ing. Students who live in the dorms can about how they can't wait to go to college volunteer to pass out candy to the kids, themselves, and how they want to go to Speaking on placing a notification sticker on their doors UMBC." Since trick-or-treating in their so the trick-or-treaters will know which own neighborhoods isn't an option for a lot ones to knock on. Members of the sorority of the kids, most of them really appreciate take the kids through each of the dorms to the opportunity to enjoy the Halloween gather candy for about an hour to an hour season on a safe college campus. and a half. Then, they end the night with a If you would like to help Delta Sigma Moscow and the Middle East: pizza party. The whole program usually Theta and .volunteer to pass out candy for goes from about 6-9 p.m. Alisa Reese of this event, contact Kisha Watkins at x1426, Yeltsin's Legacy and Putin's Delta Sigma Theta says, ''The program is Alisa Reese at x7806 or Yakini Mack­ . J so popular with the kids that we [the organ- Williams at (410) 869-1732. Chailenge Massacre Offers What Any Wednesday, October 2q, 2000 7:00pm Decent Horror Film Should Lecture Hall 2 from MASSACRE, page 16 movie simply borrows aspects from the life UMBC ChemistrY Building of serial-killer-legend Ed Gein. teens wander, one by one, to the nearby Gein lived in farmhouse alone. Gein For more information, please call the Honors College at (410) 455-3720. cottage of the killer. was obsessed with his recently deceased Enter Leatherface. mother. Gein dug up women's bodies. This obese killer's turn-ons include long Gein killed women. Gein redecorated his walks through the woods with a chainsaw, entire house with bones and pieces of bod­ bludgeoning on the first date and wearing ies (skull soup bowls, hearts on plates, Classes women's skin. Tum offs are non-meat­ stuffed, mounted genitalia - you know, based foods, sensible killing tools and the typical Home and Garden stuff). Gein pesky truckers who stop to aid bloodied, dressed up in fashionable, home-made out­ screaming women. fits, such as a nipple studded belt, skin are Though the killing is all well and good, bracelets, a maminary vest and masks it soon becomes clear that there is a major made from the flayed flesh of women's problem: There are only five stupid teens faces. available to kill. One is easy pickins' in a Generation X may claim Geoffrey starting wheelchair, so it's really four and a half. Dahmer, but Beaver Cleaver and his elk That's not nearly enough to sustain an had frickin' Ed Gein. . entire feature-length horror movie. Are we Massacre visually quotes many of soon to survive on flimsy plot and superfluous Gein's house-decorating techniques with dialogue alone? I mean, the stupid teens such innovations as the skull lamp, the don't even get naked, for Christ's sake. matching dining room set of "arm" chairs Not to fear, though. A fat guy stalking a and meat hooks. Oh yes, meat hooks. in Baltimore young woman through the woods at night Also to look for in Massacre: A recipe with a loud, old chainsaw actually takes for headcheese, closeups of a blood-shot awhile. Plus, the painful dialogue is simply eyeball,. George W. Bush's home state replaced with screaming in the remaining (coincidence), a suspiciously missing 30 minutes of the movie. pocket knife that never turns up and means LSAT class starts Oct. :1.0 Probably the most compelling aspect of nothing to the plot though they spend at this film is that it's presented as a true story. least 10 minutes of screen-time talking Space is limited And it is loosely based on a real story if you about the damn thing and a breathtaking define "loosely based" as "not ever hap­ ballet of a fat man and his chainsaw. pening." Nope. No stupid teen deaths at the Really, it's not one to miss. Just don't hands of a flabby transvestite. Instead, the eat any chili during the viewing. Call today and reserve your seat!

Educate the masses! Help your fellow persons! Write for Focus! KAPLAN No experience necessary. Contact Katie at 1·800-KAP-TEST­ [email protected] kaptest.com *LSAT is a re~stered tradema-k cf the Lalit' School Admissions Council. =>AGE 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000

"1 .. II F. ETRIEVER and IAR_TI SANI RWEEKLY ENTERTAINMENT Invite vou and aguest to aspecial advance screening!

come to TlleRetrieuer weeklr's FunFest on· the uc Plaza during tree hour on Wednesday 10/25 to win pass · to .a special advanc~ screening! Passes and prizes are available while supplies last. No purchase necessarv. limit one per person. Emplovees ot Artisan Entenainment, The Retriever weekll and UMBC are not eligible. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 21

people together and make them fall in Pay It Plays love," and Trevor finds out that helping people is not as easy as he had hoped. Pay It Forward does have some very Too Close to good attributes. The film's setting of Las Vegas - the sin capital of America - is the perfect place for such an uplifting tale, Heartstrings and director of photography Leslie Dilley What do you get when you combine (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars) cap­ two Academy Award-winners, one tures its different dimensions with its Academy Award-nominee, a great idea to working-class suburbs, casinos and the Movie Review change the world and beautiful landscapes of mountains and an extremely cliched desert. The intricate screenplay, great look by Susan Harris ending? Pay It and amazing performances are just about Forward (**1/z out of four). Although it's enough to cover for the film's preachiness, crammed with superb performances by its lack of direction and awfully cliched end headlining stars, Pay It Forward tugs at the in g. heartstrings a bit too hard for some of us to The score, composed by Thomas believe. Newman, is too similar to- if not exactly The underlying idea is simple: Think of the same as - Newman's eerily beautiful one way to change the world and put it into music from American Beauty. This may be action. This is the same assignment teacher because of Kevin Spacey's involvement, Eugene Simonet, wonderfully played by but it seems awfully inappropriate to com­ two-time Oscar-recipient Kevin Spacey, pare the films through the music. Mimi Warner Bros. Leder's direction is quite a change from gives to his seventh grade class every year. Family Ties: Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osment play a mother and son who find her action experience in Deep Impact and But when Trevor (Haley Joel Osment, that their lives changed by Kevin Spacey's teacher in Pay It Forward. really amazing kid who creeped out view­ The Peacemaker, and maybe she should ers in The Sixth Sense) takes the assign­ favor back, they have to "pay it forward" role is excellent, it is not a role she is unac­ have stuck to what she was used to. ment a tad too seriously, he spawns a chain for three others. From there, Chandler customed to playing. The single-mom sce­ Seeing this film would definitely not be of good deeds that travel to reporter Chris searches to find its . origin. As the film nario here is quite similar to her Oscar­ a waste of time or money. It is sure to be a Chandler (Jay Mohr of Go). unravels, we are moved backwards and winning role in As Good As It Gets, and she crowd-pleaser that touches the heart ·of In the frrst scene of the film, Chandler is forward through time and in and out of two may want to be careful not to be so typecast many a viewer, yet there are many given a brand new Jaguar from a total different stories. This may sound confus­ to that character. moments that try to shake your emotions stranger after his own car gets totaled. He ing, but screenwriter Leslie Dixon (the When Trevor brings a homeless heroin so hard that the film becomes overly senti­ is told simply to "pay it forward," and that Thomas Crown Affair remake) works them addict (The Thin Red Line's Jim Caviezel) mental. The end so forcefully tries to bring his strange benefactor will be in touch. together so that they meet at agood point into their home and tries to help him put his a tear to your eye that some might leave Chandler, confused by this incredible act of in the film. life together, Arlene goes to Mr. Simonet to unsatisfied, but at least the point is clear: charity, goads the man into telling him Trevor's mother Arlene (Helen Hunt) is try to find oufwhat is going on. Eugene is Sometimes even one simple good deed can more information about this "movement." working two jobs to support her son - and · instantly attracted to Arlene, and Trevor's be enough to change the world into a bet­ The plan is to do something really good for unsuccessfully trying to kick her alco­ next good deed is to fix-up his mother and ter place. And thaCs enough to give pass­ three people, and instead of paying the holism. Though Hunt's performance in this teacher. However, "you can't just put two ing marks to Pay It Forward. Dancer a Moving, Musical Masterwork This year's Palm D'Or at the Cannes Performance Award at Film Festival is one of the most innovative Cannes. She moves and unique motion pictures to come out in from abstracted smiles Movie Review years. A cross between and heart-filled musi­ an American musical cal numbers to total by Susan Harris and a European desperation at her tragedy, Dancer in the Dark (****)is a darkest moment with a film that will leave you with a powerful wide range of acting scar from it's brutally emotional content abilities. European and intriguing story of what one woman actress Catherine will sacrifice for her child. Deneuve plays Selm~'s Icelandic pop singer Bjork stars as friend and co-worker Selma, a Czech immigrant who is rapidly Kathy, another immi­ going blind from a genetic disorder but grant who looks out for cannot stop daydreaming about being in Selma and helps _ her the wonderful Hollywood musicals. She Fine Line Features conceal her secret. works tirelessly in a factory to save enough Best Friends: Bjork, with the help of Catherine Deneuve, Deneuve is no stranger money for her son to get an eye operation struggles to make a living in Dancer in the Dark. to challenging roles. before his 13th birthday so he does not suf- . She has worked with fer the same fate as her. However, her land­ observing the characters' lives. such revered directors as Francois Truffaut, lord and supposed friend Bill (David Trier directs the cast in a manner that Louis Bunuel and Roman Polanski, and Morse) steals her savings because he can­ exhibits them as actual people in real situ­ easily manages her character with complete not bear to tell his wife he is broke. This ations, not as traditional Hollywood-style . loyalty to her friend. Peter Stormare, whom leads Selma into a downward spiral of acting. The only times when these tech­ you might recognize as a favorite of the events, which test her devotion and love for niques are not used are during the delight­ Coen brothers (appearing in The Big her child and ability to accept her reality ful daydreams of Selma's musical fantasy Lebowski and Fargo) changes from his and fate. world. The soundtrack, composed and per­ usual twisted criminal to a sensitive and Director Lars von Trier (Breaking the formed by Bjork, includes some of the caring man who hopes one day Selma will Waves) portrays the trials of working class most unique and crea · e contemporary love him as he loves her. women during the early 1960s with sympa­ music yet to be displayed in a motion pic­ Dancer in the Dark proves that there are thy and reali-sm. Trier and director of pho­ ture. Entire compositions made of still original ideas for movies. If a motion tography Robby Muller mainly use hand­ machines clanking, pencils tapping, and picture can successfully be both a modem held cameras, which emphasize the reality sneakers squeaking inspire Selma's lapses tragedy and upbeat musical, perhaps more of the film's characters. There are no dra­ into fantasy dance numbers. Although the filmmakers will begin to realize that there matic lighting effects, emotional back­ musical scenes could have been choreo­ are no limits to telling a story. Just as the ground score or high-energy camera tricks graphed and photographed a little better, film combines two totally different genres, whatsoever. Although some might feel that these scenes add cheer to an otherwise the story will leave you emotionally the shaky photography is too uncomfort­ extremely serious film. drained, yet content. Although not recom­ able to sit through for two-and-a-half Bjork's portrayal of the seemingly mended as a great date movie, Dancer in hours, it is intended to make the viewer feel mildly retarded Selma was amazing the Dark will stay with you long after you as .if he or she is actually there listening and enough to win her the Best Female leave the theater.

+ PAGE 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 Mash Out Posse's Latest Release Keeps It Real "We 're the voice of the streets, and The subsequent EP, Handle Ur Bizness, arms and step lightly. we're .not letting that title go anywhere," and the release First Family showed that I pop shots at foes Album Review says Mash Out MOP still knew how .to touch a vein. Soren that don't entice me," ------Posse's Lil' Fame in Baker of the LA Times reported that MOP, warns Billy Danze in by Jada lokeman the Brooklyn rap besides of course Run D.M.C. and the the opener "Welcome group's fourth and latest release, Warriorz, Beastie Boys, "were the first to enjoy to Brownsville." from Loud Records. · respect in the hip-hop community while Here, a bass line And they haven't gone anywhere. combining rock and rap in tl:ieir music." Of ·ripped from a '70s Despite changes in the industry as well as today's acts that have found success in car chase television the group's own label switch, MOP contin­ combining hip-hop and rock, namely Limp show is interspersed ues to deliver the hardcore in abundance. Bizkit, Korn and Kid Rock, she observes with a one-handed Although their trademark style of "undilut­ that "these rockers were beaten to the piano riff and pun~tu ­ ed, unapolegetically underground ·sounds punch by MOP." In this period, they uti­ ated with a screech­ for hip hop purists (i-Music)" is difficult to lized less of DJ Premier's vast resources ing carpet bomb justify as responsible music, Warriorz dis­ and cultivated their own unique sound. The sound effect. The plays the type of natural growth only best example of this was a song built from intended effect is achieved by true groundbreakers. the sample of Foreigner's Rocky II hit, unsettling. Lil' Fame and Billy Danze comprise the "Eye of the Tiger." Hip-hop still wasn't "Everyday," the first last generation of MOP. Over the years, ready for such bold originality. It would Primo track, is still they have struggled for perfection. Their take Jay-Z, Puff Daddy or some other com­ rugged despite har­ flrst single, "How about some Hardcore," mercially viable rap act to make '80s rock momzmg from from 1991's To the Death, touched a vein samples hip. Product G&B. "Ante among hip-hop fans tired of a dance-happy, On Warriorz, MOP strives for under­ Up" follows, •an culturally-conscious climate. An instant standing. As Lil' Fame explams, "On this unmistakable classic: I can still remember the beat. album we decided to do all rowdy songs. anthem, injected with However, that album was, overall, lacking We didn't want to get too emotional. We adrenaline. "Face off- in terms of production quality. Their next wanted to take a step away from songs that 2K1" fmds Primo ref­ release, Firing Squad, recruited a major . were too depressing. We didn't want any ereeing a gentleman's effort from Brooklyn's DJ Premier. stress on this album. We just wanted under­ lyrical sparring File Photo However, even with top-shelf production, standing." The music is a two-headed match. I couldn't call On the Frontline: MOP ''first to enjoy respect in the hip-hop Firing Squad suffered from the abrasive­ beast, combining DJ Premier's classic beat a winner. "On the · community." ness of MOP's delivery. Onyx and other making with the cultivated ruggedness of Frontline," a medita­ high-decibel rap groups emerging at the MOP's own production. It is a phenomenal tion on confrontation, embodies a military Make no mistake, MOP is as real as it gets. time had the same problem: You can't yell _ effort that displays how much they have sense of urgency. Lil' Fame reaches back to One of my friends who observed them at a all the time. The more you played the learned while taking clear aim at the fronts another Foreigner sample on "Cold as Ice." photo shoot was disgusted by their behav­ album, the more the shouting drowned out where they have encountered resistance. "Calm Down" is my favorite, a rolling per­ ior. ''They were drunk and disruptive. They every other aspect of the music. Hip-hop They are raising the stakes to the point cussion accompanied by a sample looped had no respect," she complained. Like they wasn't ready to take part in the neo-punk where fake gangsters can't ante up. from some soul record. "Foundation" ends care. "The game is so real, that even with­ revolution that was consuming rock at the "Should you be alarmed? You better the album with a reflection on what is truly out a record deal, we would still shine for time. grease your palms. You better grip your · important in life. the field," sings Danz~. Minority Warnings for New Green Day Warning: This is a public service announcement. This is only a test. Green Day's new release is out and it's just like the rest. · Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dint -and Tre Cool, the three creative elements of Green Day, are not exactly musical inno­ Album Review vators. Since its breakout hit Dookie by Scott Daugherty in 1994, the band has consistently put out albums that are simple, catchy and reflect whatever trend in alternative music that might be going on that week. Record stations place them in heavy rotation, drilling all 10 lyrics into your head so you are mumbling them to the incredibly repetitive rhythm for weeks: N'sync for the openly dysfunctional pre­ teens. Warning, Green Day's fourth major label release is as commercially successful as the last three. Thirteen-year-olds in Hot Topic evidently couldn't wait to buy the Fine Line Features landmark release on Oct. 3. The hit single, . Words of Warning: Mike Dint, Billie Joe Armstrong and Tre Cool of Green Day "Minority," has been on the charts for eight return with an album that's good - if you don't listen too closely. weeks and is number one on Billboard's Modern Rock charts. the greatest denOiifnator of the public, the periodic mailings to keep the idiots updat- The catchy chorus of "Minority" epito­ band showed an hour-long concert on ed on what the band is doing. · mizes the wonders of Green Day: "I want MTV, "Green Day Warning LIVE," Mayte this review is a little too hard on to be the minority/1 don't need your Saturday night. What a creative title. the band. Green Day is not, or at least it authority/down with the moral If the MTV special is not enough for the should not be intended as great music. It's majority/' cause I want to be the minority." millions of Green Day addicts of the fun music. The album isn't really that bad, Minority, authority, majority; what a clever world, then one can go to the Green Day and I was actually thinking of buying it rhyme lead singer Billy Joe laced together. Web site and become a Green Day before I exploited my position at The Sure it's obligatory, but cheesy rhymes are "IDIOT," literally. For $20 a scrawny 13- Retriever Weekly and swiped this copy to mandatory, even compulsory, to a Green year-old can get an official Green Day review. Day song. "IDIOT" membership card, an exclusive T­ If you don't analyze the lyrics and just In keeping with the Green Day tradition shirt, "IDIOT" temporary tattoos, post­ listen to it as what it is, a cheesy pop of distilling punk to make it acceptable to card/pictures of the band, a sticker and album, it's great.

+ THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 23 hey, baby ··· what's your sign?

Aries (March 21-April 20):· If you stars, I can't print that! This is a family find yourself inside a dryer in a laundry horoscope column! room this week, try to stay calm. Keep n the spirit of Halloween, this week's all the crocodiles." in mind that as long as no one starts the Libra (Sept. 24-0ct. 23): Wanna get column transforms into a hairy, sali~ Charming. dryer up, you're OK ... Except for that famous for bending spoons? Stick a I vating, howling beast and confronts When in West Virginia, be on the whole breathing thing. plastic one in the microwave. Instant the creatures of the night. Monsters. And lookout for Mothman. First sighted on fame and fortune! I'm not talking about the dust goblins Nov. 14, 1966 in Salem, West Virginia, Taurus (April 21-May 21): You that live in your dorm room. You can get the creature was characterized by his always knew the dirt under your fm­ Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): Hey, do rid of those with some pine-scented giant, glowing red eyes. (Gee, this gernails had some special powers, but you remember sleep? You know, that Lysol. No slr, I am speaking of the sounds familiar ... ) The dog who you didn't realize the extent of it. If thing where you sign off of Napster bloodthirsty hellspawn that haunts this allegedly chased after the creature after you wish to avoid discovery and possi­ and close your eyes and lay there in the Earth and makes mincemeat of its inhab­ his owner fled the premises was never ble deportation, I'd suggest wearing dark for several hours? You should try itants. Each one a cult legend whose seen again. The next night, two couples gloves. it. It might stop the hallucinations. name flies through the mouths of the in a 1957 Chevy drove past the TNT old townsfolk and strikes fear into the hearts generator plant and were presumably Gemini (May 22-June 21): Don't be Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21): Fine! of ... well, mostly dogs, goats and really chased by a giant flying man-beast alarmed when you fmd your undergar­ Have your damn goats; see if I care. A gullible people, but hey, it makes for a down the highway. They escaped, but ments hanging from the ceiling of your plethora of goats this week, just for great campfire story· on Hallow's Eve. · the legend of Mothman had just begun. room - it's just the squirrels setting up you. Any X-Files lover, like me, would Dozens of reports in the Point Pleasant a shrine in your honoJ;". Come to think recall the episode about "El area proceeded to flow in the following of it, maybe that is a cause for alarm. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 20): Late Chupacabra," the blood-sucking beast years. Yikes. one lonely night, you start to ponder who terrorized the Puerto Rican land­ Mothman is described to be seven the possibilities of toast This one scape. Like many other X-Files feet tall with gray, scaly skin and a Cancer (June 22-July 23): After sev­ could go either way - it could lead to a episodes, this particular one does have wingspan of over 10 feet. He has the eral Aquarians take last week's advice brilliant career as a pioneer in the toast some component of "truth" in it. The ability to take off straight from the and make homosexual advances industry, or it could lead to alienation legend of El Chupacabra has been con­ ground and fly without flapping his towards you, you come to the conclu­ and the founding of a fringe civil rights sistently spreading across the world after wings. Some of his favorite pastimes sion that these horoscopes are the root group. You decide. dozens of occurrences dating back to the are chasing cars, causing radio interfer­ of all evil. Hmm ... You just may be mid-1970s. Sightings and mysterious ence, reading minds and mutilating and right. Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Try as animal deaths have been reported in eating large dogs. A real ladies man. you might, you will never be a Pisces. Texas, Michigan, Florida, all over Puerto The reasons for his existence are varied. .Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): As Mercury It's a futile endeavor. Rico and even Moscow. The Spanish Some believe he is the result of a magi­ has recently gone into retrograde, name "Chupacabra" translates to "Goat­ cal ritual conducted by an unknown drama is running rampant in your life. Pisces (Feb. 20-Mar. 20): The stars Sucker," a fitting name due to the beast's local warlock, or that he just might be Try not to let it get to you, or you may would ~e to remind you that your penchant for slurping the life out of the product of toxic waste leaks and is a find yourself dodging flying chairs on check to the Psychic Friends Network goats and other livestock._ simple "biochemically-conceived freak a d.aytime talk show. is way past due, and if you don't pay it Many descriptions of this herd-lov­ of nature." The most popular of stories soon you will never see your beloved ing vampire exist, and each wildly dif­ is that he is the realization of the 200- Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): This week, hamster Huffy again. Also, you will ferent from the other. Some claim to year old curse of Chief Cornstalk, a Virgos the world over will fmd them­ most likely be attacked by vicious have seen a creature with large, slanted, fallen Shawnee warrior who cursed the - selves half-naked in ... Hey! Stupid ferns. glowing red eyes and a flat, simian-like land after his defeat in battle. At any face. Other descriptions include spotted, rate, Mothman is still at large flapping frog-like skin,- a spiked neck and back, his way around West Virginia, getting and chicken-like legs. El Chupacabra his nose burned in all the pretty lights. may also have wings and hop like a kan­ "Beeehhh ... Beeehhhh ... " In Prince garoo. Put that all together and what do Georges County, this is not the cry of you get? A real rumpus, that's what. any ordinary goat. This is the cry of And now, for your amusement, the evil. Beware, my friends! Beware the "abridged" Chupacabra Song, translated wrath of Goatman! It is said that long for your convenience from Spanish. ago in the murky depths of the 1960s, ''The sucker song, the goat is gone, an unsuspecting scientist was conduct­ The Goatsucker is good-, Happy and ing experiments on goats. Due to some Fun. horrific accident, goat DNA was He is a pleasant bandit. merged with human DNA, and behold, Remember the Goat Sucker, the unfortunate birth of Goatman. This When you take care to close the door, axe-toting, Pan-like creature apparently So he doesn't get in, And even eat the then became insane and launched his cockroaches. haunt across the countryside, mauling He sucks you like the devil, Even if dogs (Man, dogs really got it bad with you're a rooster. these monsters) and making high school He loves liver, blood, and little kids. students get their panties in a knot look­ And this is the end of the story, ing for him. And it is no lie. The Goatsucker is in Miami, sucking see CURIO SHOPPE, page 26 PAGE 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 Into the Woods: Reporter Searches for Blair Witch from BlAIR WITCH, page 15 the Blair Witch might not be merely a myth, discuss how scary it was to be tra­ That bus had better be waiting for us versing the actual area where BWP was when we get back. shot, etc. Well, maybe those last two topics we 8:59p.m. didn't falsify so much about ... Ranger Steve is leading our return to the Regardless, we're on the bus right now, mill parking lot. He's walking slow, proba­ traveling back to the campsite, crossing bly because it's easier for the crew to film. our fingers that the food tent hasn't been I dunno. Keith and I are ambling along completely cleaned out. I could certainly right behind him, and I whisper how I'm go for another sandwich now that my waiting for him to turn around at any stomach has calmed down. minute, rip his face off and reveal himself Jamie Peck I Retriever Weekly Staff to be the Blair Witch in disguise. Sort of 10:02 P·~· Smile of Relief: Local reporter Sloane Brown shares a rare light moment with like a Scooby Doo denouement in reverse. What is that screaming? What is that Keith while on the Coffin Rock tour. "I'm going to get away with mutilating screaming? you meddling kids! [Cackle, cackle, cack­ We're running in the direction of horri­ We're back at camp, and we're listening fires, which my allergies cannot take, so I le!]" fied shrieks we hear immediately after de­ to murmurings that Poe and Perry Farrell think it's time to temporarily -leave the boarding the bus; they're coming from the are no-shows, but Lars Ulrich from grounds in search of a 7-11 that sells Tavi st 9:37p.m. center of the campgrounds . . . from the Metallica is a mystery guest. Huh? or Sudafed. I never thought I'd be so happy to see food tent! Keith turns on his camera so we Something is certainly not right, because public transportation! can capture on tape whatever terrifying Rob Timm from WHFS has just taken the October 2112:09 a.m. The bus was not at its designated pick­ sight awaits us. Maybe it's a dead body, stage to introduce Godhead, the Blair Well, that t~ok longer than we expect- up area when we returned, so we had to maybe the Blair Witch herself . . . Oh. Witch Hunt's headliner. stand outside and wait for it. In the cold. Damn. Just a couple of frat boys crying Assorted revelers have created camp- see BLAIR WITCH, page 26 Next to the woods. About 35 feet from a arid moaning because the beer supply tem­ . ramshackle bridge that overlooks that river porarily ran out. '•'L. '} ' where, according to the first movie, a little We are told not to worry. A studio rep girl named Robin Weaver- was pulled in has been dispatched to purchase more. The persiflage by~~eriGa Smith and drowned by you-know-who. frat boys breathe a sigh of relief. When the bus arrived- about 10 min­ The drunk guy whose tent is adjacent to eaten. They say there's ~lways room. I utes late - it brought with it a German ours tells us to check out a psychic who's ime yet. agai_·,_·,_n for ,_·,P_·e_-rsiflage. , " film crew that wanted to shoot yet another dispensing free readings across from the Lefs just cut to the chase. Any am not so sure. Let's think of the stom­ venture out to Coffin Rock, meaning some stage, but the line is at least an hour's wait. Tquestkms? The,,, addre~s to seod ach mechanism. (yes, it~s a mechanism, of us went out, some of us stayed behind. D.C.'s own Margaret Heater, the first them to is [email protected]. don't argue with tne) as a large~ flight­ Keith, Nisha and I stayed behind. We did­ band in the night's musical line-up, just less bird. Okay, don't. Fine by me. It is n't feel like tempting fate. A few of our went on. We decide it's a good time to "Wt'-o wopld win1. geese .Q_r squir- · rat~er silly to tbJ.nk of it as such, isn't :rels?'' ._Dave · _ j tourmates, however, sure did. retreat to my car and warm-up while we it? Hmm, okay, let's think of the stom­ The crew that accompanied us on Tour recharge the camera batteries. Let'.s look at this, logically. l'.m ach mechanism as a b'alloon. Is that a B asked us if we wanted to participate in -My hands are getting really cramped ·assuming, ·Dave~ that you mean withm better irnage? ,Let's hope so. because if some candid interviews about the Blair from all.this writing. the bounds of the UMBC camp1l$,. not, you're rather picky. Let's say that Witch for possible television use. We had Geese certainly have the',advantage.,,o( said balloon is .filled with water. Now, to lie our butts off, say we were contest 10:39 p.m. si~. They've 'powerful wings~ wings in that case, if the ball~n is at the winners (instead of members of the press Batteries recharged. Body temperatures that could beat an unwitting squirrel into apogee of inflatability. there is' certain­ and 'his guests), talk about how we thought elevated. submission. They~ve strong bea.ks,too­ ly not enough room for Jell-0 in the ever ~n pecked by a goose? I have. It balloon/stomach mechanism. hurts. (Well, actually l,t was a swan, but But m·this ever~expanding universe, I'm not going Jo get picky. It's close there will always be room'for Jell-0. If [insert name here] enough.) Also, they can fly~ so dive­ ,.there isn't . . . well heck~ what are we bombing is a possibility; they can swirll, using the space for? Something useful? so they can easily retreat. Sheesh! We should_ use all room that from·JNSERT., page 12 still cares. But sqUirrels have>the advantage of isn't being used for anything for Jel~-0, Oh well. Here is another contest. •,.. numbers. They swarm over campus in so that we will always have reserves of not too crazy about heights, especially For the past week or so, the entire droves; it's difficult to go anywhere, it. Eventually it will become the staple after falling off a mountain the summer Retriever office has been -hopelessly even a dorm room; without seeing one of our diet. Or maybe not. But we can preceding this experience. addicted to a computer game called of the little bastards. As we all know, make a pretty good assumption. So here Miranda was, the last person Snood. No one has done any work, these squirrels know no fear. Last in the group to do this god-forsaken which has immensely incensed the edi­ week, a squirrel fell out of a tree. 10 "Your middle name is Lauren.. Is t~am-building exercise. She climbed up tor in chief and the sports editor, the feet onto my friend's head and into her there anywhere on campus I cap. go the tree to the starting platform and only two not affected by this gaming lap, then scutrled away. My questionis to seek help fot anagrmn addiction?" froze. She could not move an inch and bout. So the contest is: Make these two, - did it fall, or did it want to attack -Not Dave at All, but Someone started crymg hysterically. Not a good one of whom has threatened to delete the her? Nmned Shq;ron experience, overall, especially surround­ Snood program off the Retriever com­ Getting back to the question at hand: Well done. Sharon! You are indeed ed by people who she, for the most part, puters, happy. Take an anti-drug slogan I think that on the UMBC campus, the the second petson to figure out my did not particularly like. And who was and apply it to whatever video game you squirrels have the advantage. This is middle name from the anagram! Either there to calm her down? None other than love, hate or love to hate. their home court. They know the spots, that, or you {()()ked at the small print at Phil Duker. That's how cool of a guy Since there is no one to gwe last they've buried their weaponry in strate­ the end of last week's [Insert Name Phil is. He made her feel better by help­ week's prize to, it is being reused. Once gic places around car~.pus. The squirrel~ Here]. Either way, I guess kudos are in ing her avoid an unnecessary nervous again, that's an ugly little pink Barbie to-goose ratio is probably somewhere in order. breakdewn. thingie with confetti inside. the area of 200 to one. I shudder to think Sadly no. there are no Anagram Now that you know this story, don't You can't get away with not submit­ what a crash of squirrels could do to a Addiction Centers at UMBC. In fact, I you feel bad about not submitting to ting to this contest. You are college stu­ goose. don't think there is such a center any­ the contest? That was the goal. Poor dents, for heaven's sake. You play video where. We shoUld start one, Sharon! Phil, all alone in Michigan, will think games. And if you don't enter this one, ''Is there really always room for You and I should join forces and begin you don't even care. Heartless bas­ [INH] will come to your house and steal Jell-0, even if it's got fruit or some­ a center. We could have ·it near the tards. But don't fret, dear Phil, [INH] your Nintendo. thing else in it?" -Another Dave Shriver Center: After people get career There are two ways. we· can look at counseling, they can get anagram coun­ Submit entries to [email protected], or drop them off at the Retriever office in UC 214 by noon on this. That's right. And we'lllook at both Friday. Granola is a good thing. Mmm, granola. [INH] wishes it had some granola to munch on right now. seling. You can be director (Rice Drot, Crispcty-crunchety-peanut-buttery. Oh, to munch on some granola by a bonfire on the beach ... But alas, of them. Get ready, I can feel the excite­ if you will). Of course, you might need the beach is a far drive and granola ... well. granola is actually possible, but it must be obtained first. And ment mounting. the counseling yourself. That could be on that note, it is time for a cigarette break. First, let's consider Jell-0 being a problem. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES October 24, 2000 PAGE 25

Thesday, Oct. 24 party games like shaving goats or The Sound of One Hand Clapping jumping off balconies, but there is The Korea Society presents "The bound to be some bizarre stuff going So].lnd of Ecstasy and the Nectar of on here. But whatever it is, it's bound Enlightenment," which presents tradi­ to beat binge drinking in the dorms. tional music associated with For more information call (41 0) 244- Buddhism. So if you're looking for a 8686. little enlightenment in your life, head on over to The Kennedy Center, Sunday, Oct. 29 where maybe, just maybe, you'll Moby Moving Over the Face of D.C. finally find out what one hand clap­ Moby, superstar DJ and great-great­ ping really sounds like. For more grandnephew of author Herman information call (800) 444-1324. Melville, is set to play the Bender Arena of American University this Saturday, Oct. 28 Sunday. Sure, it's quite a drive to get Sharks in Clown Suits to D.C., but come on, when are you The National Aquarium in Baltimore going to get the chance to see Moby hosts Hallomarine, which will feature live ever again? Go see him, it'll be crafts, treats and fish. Although something you'll tell your grandkids intended for little· kids, I'm sure some about. For more information and to inventive college kids with a little bit purchase your ticket, call of time and a whole lot of hallucino­ Ticketmaster at (202) 432-SEAT. genic ~gs could have a marvelous time at this event. For more informa­ Monday, Oct. 30 tion call (410) 576-3800. Hmm ... But Is It Art? Jim Melchert, artist and former NEA Maybe They'll Play Wesley Willis official, will give a lecture on com­ That center of the weird and bizarre in mon misconceptions about art. He Baltimore, the American Visionary will examine how public stereotypes Art Museum, is holding Halloween impede the progress of potential · parties this Saturday and Sunday. artists. Hmm, then how do you Expect to see some pretty freaky stuff explain the popularity of Tom at these parties, and I'm not talking Green? For more information call about your average, run-of-the-mill (410) 225-2300. -Eli Zukowski

Po you have an excitit1g

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the goatmen of the world could possibly Scenes From.a Witch Hunt illqt ~nrio ~~nppt wield such immense power. Alas, dear readers, these demonic from BLAIR-WITCH, page 24 racehorse. from CURIO SHOPPE, page 19 brutes are still on the loose throughout I just want to apologize to Keith's mom the nation. They are chasing our high ed. But mission accomplished, and now and Nisha's mom and my mom and Ranger On the Goatman Central page that I school cheerleaders, using our cattle as I'm a little drowsy. Steve. I am so sorry! Because it was my discovered on www.the-strange.com, a Slurpees and eating our poodles. We Upon our return to Seneca, the STAFF fault. I was the one who brought them here. surprising number of witnesses to must rise up against these curs' of the · guys were cleaning up the stage area. We I was the one that said, "C'mon, it'll be Goatman's cameo appearances have dark, hunt them down with the strength must've missed the musical acts. But a big­ fun!" I was the one who said that we would written in with stories and opinions. of armies and smite them back to the screen television had been unveiled in the have working plumbing. It was my fault­ meantime, and showing on it is, of course, because it was my story. I am so scared! I Some claim th~t he isn't really a goat, hellpit from whence they came! Go, my but instead a man. hideously deformed pretties! Grab up your pitchforks and The Bl'air Witch Project. Given that we've don't know what's out here. I am going to by getting hit by a car on the infamous ride like the wind! Ahoy! seen it as recently as 24 hours ago, the con­ pee out here! I am so scared! Crybaby Bridge. An individu_al named Want to join the chupa-moth-goat sensus is to retreat to our tent, add on lay- I'm sli~htly disoriented from the aller­ "Elchupa" (A Chupacabra reference? manhunt? Want to just find out why I'm ers of clothing and try to stay warm. · gy medicine, but there's a pile of rocks on Connections!) claims to be an ;unateur such a loony? Please write me at Besides, it's getting eerily quiet. The the ground not far into the woods, and it cryptzoologist, a scientist who studies [email protected]: I love let­ park's populace is beginning to ~rn in­ seems as _good a place as any to mark my animals that aren't supposed to exist. ters. I don't iove eating dogs though, or pass out, · as the second beer supply territory. Many of the letters recount actual chases only Goatmen do. seems to have been vanquished. The Blair Aaaaahhhhhhh. with the creepy beast, most followed by Witch Hunt could very easily turn into the the confirmation, "This is not a lie." A DISCLAIMER: If you are approached by any indi­ Bud Lite Hunt, as people who still want to 2:33a.m. slightly melodramatic character named vidual bearing spikes, red neon eyes, wings or party are hopping from tent to tent to see if I just got back to the tent, totally hooves, walk, do not run to the nearest exit. -They "Powersloth" details how he was actual­ anybody wisely stashed some brew earlier relieved, and Nisha is there. But where's can smell fear. They can also sme'll if you pee in · in the night. Keith? ly seriously injured by the Goatman's your pants from fear. That really pisses them off. axe, saying "My arm was sliced with Tune in next week, same goat time, same goat Nisha says he left moments after I did, [the] keen accuracy that only a goatman channel. Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Goatman. 1:02 a.m. hoping to give me a fright when I returned could posses." Indeed, Powersloth, only Happy Halloween! We're not doing much, just chilling­ from the forest. I tell her I didn't see him, literally and figuratively- in our tent, dis­ but maybe he didn't see me either and he's cussing such topics as the yvar of 1812, the still out there waiting: Pythagorean theorem and Malthusian criti­ I tell Nisha to stay put in case he comes CASEWORKER!! cism. Keith, for one, makes a brilliant back, and venture back outside to find him. point, scoffing at the notion that a man can Keith? Keeeeith! Where are you? THE CHOICE PROGRAMS be so bold as to suggest that the Earth Keeeeith! Providing Opportunities to Learn While Serving would run out of resources when he failed I can hear him calling back, but his The Choice Program and the Choke Middle Schools Program, intensive to take into account technological advance­ voice sounds like it's all over the place ... community-based intervention programs~ are looking for energetic, cnthusiastic~ ­ ments or ... Yeah, this is his idea of a practical joke. and dedicated caseworkers willing to commit one year of sendee to at-risk youth What is that? What the *#@% is that? Very funny. throughout Maryland. Choice provides excellent hands-on training in the areas Something is shaking our tent! What the To make matters worse, the batteries in of juvenile services, educational support; and health advocacy. (Bachelor's degree *#@%is that? my flashlight just died. Probably shouldn't required) Casework staff is eligible for AmeriCorps Education Awards Program Oh. Just the frat boys. Upset that they have kept it on the whole time during the can't find any beer. Well, back to Malthus. Coffm Rock tour. Gotta go back to the tent Interested candidates should submit a resume and cover letter to: and get more. The Choice Programs 2:29a.m. "Hey, Nisha," I call out as I get close. ATTN: Coordinator; Program Development I"am so scared ... I am so scared right "Throw me a battery!" No response. 971 Seagull Avenue now ... "Nisha! Throw me a battery!" What's Baltimore, M.D 21225-1529 Because the toilet in the Seneca Park taking her so long?. or fax to: (410) 354.. 4938 restroom is backed up, the porta-potty I stick my head in the zipper opening. · doors are stuck and I have to pee like a Why the heck is she facing the corner? The Choice Programs will be conducting on~campus interviews at UMBC on Thursday, November 9, 2000. To Schedule Your interview, or for more informa­ tion. contact UMBC's Career Development & Placement Center. Oct. 24, 2000 PAGE 27 POR Women's Soccer Dominates R.obert Morris 3-0 Retrievers Fall Just Short of Northeast Conference Tournament With 5-2-3 Conference Record

JENNIFER SCHILDROTH . ior counterpart, Beverly Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Campbell rounded out the R~trievers' three-goal shutout The Retrievers ended the NEC with a goal of her own. The assist regular season with a 3-0 shutout came from junior Vi vi ana over Northeas~ Conference com­ Saraceno. petition Robert Morris at the UMBC totaled 20 shots in annual senior night game last Fridays game, keeping the Friday. Although UMBC clinched Colonial goalkeeper on her toes the victory against the Colonials, and forcing her to make 7 saves the Dawgs were shut out of the during the game. Becky Hicock NEC tournament, which will be only. made one save for UMBC in hosted by UMBC next weekend, the shutout. by Quinnapiac wins on Friday In addition to Lesh and and Sunday. Campbell, seniors Danielle The women's soccer team Konschak and Beth Quintavalle brought its record to 6-8-3 over­ we~e recognized at Friday's game, all, 5-2-3 in the NEC with . which was UMBC's annual senior Friday's win. 'It was a glowing night. . day for senior Erin Lesh as she The Retrievers will travel to ended her career at UMBC with a Lehigh University tomorrow at 4 goal and an assist, bringing her p.m. for the final gameof the sea­ career total points to 85. Lesh has son. scored 35 goals and made 15 - Although the Dawgs had a assists in her career at UMBC. winning season in the NEC, drop­ Coming back from halftime ping only ·two matches, they will with a 0-0 tie, the senior star put not appear in the UMBC-hosted UMBC on the board 7:18 into the conference tournament this week­ second half. Drawing the Colonial end. Monmouth and Quinnapiac keeper out of the goal, Lesh head into the conference tied for placed the ball in the lower left­ first place, each with ~C records hand corner for the first point of of 7-2-t St. Francis (PA) ranks a the game. Not even three minutes close third at 7-3, and Long Island later, freshman Jessa Karko head­ University will round out the ed in a goal off a Lesh corner kick tournament as the fourth team at - one of UMBC's 16 corner 6-3-1. The Retrievers placed just Nate West I Retriever Weekly Staff kicks in the match. behind LIU, barely missing quali­ Senior Leader: Erin Lesh, women's soccer superstar tallied her 35th goal at last Friday's senior Not to be outdone by her sen- fying for the tournament. night game to climb to second all-time scorer on UMBC's list. ClubS orts Timmons, placed fifth in it-s race, Hopper, Elizabeth Humphries, ty and novice crews travel to The Lady Retrievers tore up UMBC Crew Earns Gold trailing the fourth-place Hopkins Karyn Lowery, Christine Miller Occoquan Reservoir in Lorton, the "wolf-pack" of nationally-rec­ in Regional Regattas boat by 40 seconds. and Cori Doseff. The women Virginia, for the .Occoquan Chase ognized, powerhouse crew teams, UMBC's varsity women's placed second, defeated only by Regatt;:t. On the varsity level, such as NCAA-ranked Hopkins Out of bed by 4:30 a.m., at heavyweight and lightweight St. John's College. In the same UMBC saw modest success. and Loyola, as well as Robert the boathouse by 4:50, on the fours, made up respectively of heat~ the ~econd women's novice Although the varsity men's four Morris College and Mary water at 5. This is a typical coxswain Jason Gembicki, Kisha boat, comprised . of coxswain placed fourth in a lightweight Washington. In a race where most morning for the UMBC Crew Flanagan, Jackie Zimmermann, Karen Barrick, stroke Maria division, the rowers were satis­ boats followed each other in Club. This semester, the crew Cathy Madrzykowski, and Ginny Zanti, Jaclyn Streitfeld, Elizabeth fied, having shaved over a minute increments of 30 seconds, UMBC boasts over 40 members, com­ Sander and coxswain Pat Marron, Boyle, Ruthanne Doetzer, Sheetel off of their race time at the crossed the finish buoys over a prising three varsity four-man N atasha Davis, Brigid Hagerty, Ajmani, Nancy Nguyen, Lydia Patapsco. Likewise, the varsity minute ahead of Robert Morris, boats and three eight-man Melissa Kramer, and Jessie Lee and Kailin Carlson, placed women's heavyweight and light­ the second place team. Such afin­ . , . novice boats. Each boat IS cap- Merchant, muscled past boats seventh, trailing a Baltimore weight boats respectively finished ish is a rare and honorable accom­ tained by a coxswain, who nav­ from Baltimore Rowing Club and Rowing Club f>oat by only 18 sec­ seventh out of nine and third out plishment in the head race season. igates the racecourses. For St. John's College to take third onds. of three, but achieved personal For its victories on the water these athletes, the year is split and fourth places in their race. In UMBC's final race, the victories by improving their 5K and off, the crew wishes to thank into the fall "5000-meter head Despite the size difference men's novice eight earned the times. its 2000 coaching staff: varsity race" season and the spring between the rowers in these boats, gold when they outperformed a The men's novice eight fin­ coach Christian Amendola, "2000-rrieter sprint" season. they were separated from each St. Paul's crew by an unbelievable ished sixth in a field of eight, novice women's coaches Erika The crew got its first taste of other by only 10 seconds at the margin of three-and-a-half min­ trailing the fifth place boat by Flindall and Renee Foard, head competition on Sept. 29 at the fmish line. utes. That lineup of Zack Folan, only three seconds. Similarly, the coach I novice men's coach Jim Ariel Head of the Patapsco The great successes of the day Jack Revelle, Rob Thomas, Ross women's novice B (banana)-boat MacAlister, and boat men Dave Regatta. Racing against area occurred in the novice program, Meade, Adam Brandt, Pavel placed seventh in its heat, defeat­ Rosen and Bill Wells. colleges and boat clubs, the beginning with the women's Gutin, David Edeson and Mike ing Hopkins and cutting minutes Additionally, a big thank you to men's varsity lightweight four, novice eight race. UMBC entered Adkins, after receiving their off the crew's time from the Dr. Lou Cantori, who is always made up of coxswain Ilse two boats in the race, the first medals, seized coxswain R~chel Patapsco. The day's greatest howling for us on shore. The crew Schweitzer, stroke Kevin made up of coxswain Jess Saini, Bussard and; following tradition, moments came when the team will next travel to Boston for Sherwood, Jason Middleton, stroke Stephanie Helwig, Eli dumped her into the water. women's novice A-boat won the the legendary Head of the Charles Josh Overmiller and Travis Brewer, Jenny Kottig, Theresa Sunday, Oct. 15,.saw the varsi- gold in its race. Regatta. PAGE 28 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Oct. 24, 2000

Volleyball to Next Face Robert Morris Colonials from VOLLEYBALL, page 32 met our expectations." According to the with double figures in kills (12) and digs statistics, junior middle hitter Joanna (13), hitting .923 and adding one assist and Melahn, freshman utility Lisa Weir, sopho­ one solo block. Marshall also had a double­ mor~ middle hitter Dana Cookson and jun­ figure kill total of 10 (a .769 hitting per­ ior outside hitter Jill Engel as well as many centage) while also chipping in two serving others will see more and more playing time aces and seven digs for the team. Kerley, as the season progresses toward the confer­ who was named NEC Player of the Week ence championsJ:tip. for Oct. 10-16, was responsible for 38 of As for possible contenders to the NEC the 44 Retriever assists and tallied four kills title, it seems that there is no doubt who and four digs as well. In the season she is will take this season's conference crown. currently averaging 10.07 assists per game, "We're more confident than we've ever 2.41 digs per game and ranks second on the been. If we weren't sure about it before, team with 28 serving aces. Sophomore we're 100 percent confident now that we'll Kerley, a surprising star for the Retrievers, win the conference." Kerley stated. was . very happy to be awarded her honor. Now the volleyball team will have plen­ "It feels good ... [especially] as a sopho­ ty of time to prepare for showdowns more it comes as a little bit of a surprise." against the Robert Morris Colonials on Oct. As to anything special that she may have . 28 and St. Francis (PA) on Oct. 29, who are done for the honors, she replied, "No, not both 4-0 in the NEt. However, with the really. I just played with a lot of heart and UMBC volleyba~l team playing with plenty left it all on the court." of heart, confidence and strength, it almost After the 52-minute match on seems certain that the Retrievers will come Wednesday, head coach Felix Hou com­ out on top of the fray. So ready or not, mented on the match and the team. "We . UMBC volleyball is back on track and played pretty well ... [and] we ·had many gearing up for another trip to the NCAA players who played [tonight] too. We had a tournament. lot of opportunities for transition ... and we

Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff Chalk Another One: Volleyball's 3-0 victory over Wagner College made the Seahawks the latest victim on UMBC's run to 5-0 in the conference. THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Oct. 24, 2000 PAGE 29

Athlete of the Week by Danielle Kotova True Shot Stopper The assistant coach of the women's ing Metham High continuously striving ment in the majority of her teammates, field hockey team, Meredith Diamond, School in Long to be better. and the Retrievers hope for their first can only compliment her star goalie Island, Kreiger dis­ Since this has been win this weekend' or next before the Karalyn Kreiger in the team's first year played incredible ath­ the sport's first year season ends. Kreiger will definitely be as a varsity sport in over a decade. "She letic ability on her on the varsity level in doing her part, playing a key role in has made a huge impact on _the team. softball team. She 13 years, coach the net so far this season. Versus Rider She played constantly all summer trying was given the most Diamond claims that and Monmouth earlier this season, to learn to play, and she is a shining outstanding pitcher although things may . Kreiger tallied 12 and nine saves, star," said Diamond. award in her sopho­ be rough now, they respectively, keeping the Retrievers in Up until last year, Kreiger riever had more year and was will eventually get the game for most of the contest. played field hockey. She playe~ softball named to the all­ better. "Trying to put Unfortunately for UMBC, the in high school_, but much to her disap­ county team all four a Division I team Retrievers did not register a shot on pointment, a knee injury forced her to years of high school together over the sum­ goal in either of those matches. The quit. The club coaches of field hockey while also proving to mer is a mountain to offense has been struggling 'almost all last year taught her to play and advised everyone she was a climb in itself with lit­ season long, but with time and a lot of her to attend various clinics during the born winner. Her tle recruiting time, but hard work, there is much room for summer months in which Kreiger team made it to the Krista Brocenos I Retriever Weekly Staff we have a great group growth for the team. worked hard to improve her skills. playoffs every year Cage Hoqnd: Karalyn Kreiger will of girls and next year .Kreiger, a junior biological science Her skills have shined early on this while Kreiger was undoubtedly be one of the top will be wonderful," major, hopes to teach science when she season and earlier this month; her hard there. goalies in the Northeast Conference. said Diamond. Since graduates from UMBC. Away from the work paid off to ---earn Rookie of the Even with all of many of last year's field - like many college students - Week honors from the· Northeast her accomplishments, Kreiger still strives club members stayed on the team to play she likes to catch up with her sleep in Conference. "I was very excited. I was­ to be a better athlete. "I always felt I could varsity, only a few girls were recruited to her free time. After Kreiger graduates, ~ n't able to play softball, and to come have done better," s~e said Kreiger. Tb.at make a full team. Despite a losing record she has no plans to continue in sports back and get an award in another sport need for perfection can be seen in Kreiger's this season, very high expectations will but as the rest of her teammates can is a big accomplishment. Especially some­ performance on the field this season as one come in the seasons ahead. agree with her, "We are always look­ thing I never played before." While attend- of the top goalies in the conference while Kreiger has seen tremendous improve- ing forward to the next step." Field Hockey Finishes Winless With 0-11 Record J LOREE MILLER AND PRATIK SHAH Retriever Weekly Staff connections as our passing finally came The Retriever field hockey team lost together,"- said junior goalie Karalyn another two tough NEC games to Sacred Kreiger. She also noted that· "the team Heart to conclude its season 0-11 overall, played really well together in the- game, 0-10 in NEC action. The Retrievers especially in the second half; it's a shame played the Pioneers last Sunday _with we just couldn't get it in the goal." UMBC dropping a 3-0 decision. Heading into their final ·game, Kreiger Unfortunately, the score of the game was also very confident they could pull off did not reflect the level of play for the their first victory of the season. "We can Retrievers, who played hard throughout win this next game if we keep plugging the contest. UMBC dominated much of away and put the ball in the goal, we are Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff the ball play but was once again unable to right there." The Retrievers tried to play Run-Around: Matt Gormley talried the final score in UMBC's onslaught of s-o capitalize on its opportunities in front of spoilers in the Pi_oneers attempt to make it Robert Morris College at the UMBC Soccer Pitch last Sunday. the Pioneer net. The team spent most of to the Northeast Conference playoffs held the game in front of the Pioneer's goal next weekend at Monmouth University. Soccer Looks to NEC Tourney but was unable to put the ball past their Like many contests before, the senior goalie Ginny Capicchioni. Retrievers dug themselves in a hole falling from MEN'S SOCCER, page 32 Capicchioni was honored earlier in the behind early. With 10:12 remaining in the save despite not allowing any goals, the week with the NEC Player of the Week first half, sophomore Laura Athans broke must-win situation, UMBC responded with Retrievers pulled their starting goalie award. The netminder recorded five saves through on the scoreboard beating Kreiger seven tallies against the Red Flash defense. Rowland in favor of junior Tom Wunk. against the Retrievers as she modestly on the short side of the net to give the Once again, Celenza opened the scoring The Red Flash countered with a goal at holds the lead in save percentage and Pioneers an early lead. Sacred Heart con­ at the 19:50 mark. Wakefield played a ball the 72:08 mark to reach within two saves in the Northea~t Conference. tinued to pressure the Retrievers defense through to Celenza as he nailed a shot at the goals but with 17 minutes remaining, The Pioneers held a 1-0 advantage at with its second tally of the contest with -top of the box to give the Retrievers the the Retrievers rattled off four straight the half even though UMBC had domi­ Athans once again playing a role in the early lead. Wakefield tallied a goal of his goals, all coming from reserves on the nated much of the ball control and had the goal, this time assisting. own 40:21 into the contest, receivmg an team. _game in its hands. Sacred Heart got its The Retrievers -fmally broke through assist from junior Andy Wells and beating Sophomore Brian Marchica account­ second goal early.in the second half and with 4: 12 remaining in the contest. On the Red Flash netminder into the lower left ed for two of the goals while senior added a third controversial goal immedi­ UMBC's senior day it was freshman Caitlin corner of the net. Ryan Lampton and Alex Wilmot scored ately following the second that extended Galligan that proved to be the star, scoring With a 2-0 lead at halftime, the the other two in the 7-1 victory. the lead to three. UMBC earned eight the Retrievers' third goal on the season, Retrievers continued to show their domi­ Rowland was credited with the victory penalty corners in the second half alone beating Capicchioni. Joanna Alinsod assist­ nance with Brown picking up where he left despite making no saves. The win raised and was unsuccessful in taking advantage ed Galligan on the goal. UMBC had one off versus Robert Morris when he scored the Retrievers' mark to 12-4 on the sea­ of any of its scoring opportunities. last chance with a penalty shot but was his hat-trick. This time, the junior deeked son, 6-3 in NEC play. Despite the unfortunate outcome of unable to take advantage as the Pioneers the St. Francis (PA) goalie and lofted a shot UMBC will next entertain George the event, the Retrievers improved their got control of the ball and ran out the clock. over his head into the back of the net to Mason in a non-conference match-up on play not only by taking charge of the Despite concluding the season with a O­ give the Retrievers a commanding three­ Wednesday, Oct. 25 and then travel to game but they also created better oppor­ Il record, the Retrievers have a lot to look goal edge. take on Mount St. Mary's on Oct. 29, tunities for themselves. "We created more forward to next season. With a relatively With 32 minutes remaining in the con­ the final conference battle before the shots for ourselves than in our previous young roster, UMBC will look to be in con­ test and without even recording a single NEC Tournament. games and we made some great full-field tention for postseason play next year. PAGE 30 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENTS Oct. 24, 2000 CHA-CHIING!!

GET YOUR $100!! . Submit your fiction to Bartle by s story contest.

Stories must be double-spaced, 1 to 20 pages in length, and may be on any subject. Our magazine also accepts plays and screen­ plays. Work is non-returnable and must be submitted by December 1st to the Bartleby Mailbox, English Dept., 4th Floor of the Fine Arts Building. One winner will be chosen.*.

Please SEND TWO COPIES OF EACH WORK you are submitting with cover pages, which include your name, phone num­ ber, and E-mail ~ddress. Thanks!!

One winner will be chosen and announced during spring semester. The staff will read your work on a blind basis.· Bartleby employees are not eligible. Benjamin Franklin will kiss you if you win.·

For further details on submitting to UMBC's literary magazine, visit Bartleby's website at http://members.aol.com/thebartlebylbartleby.htm or E-mail the fiction editors at [email protected] and/or Karan at doughboy@ loveable.com. THANKS!! *UMBC students only.

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The Samsung ML-4500 Laser Printer. "16-pages-on-1" print fealue and Last Page Reptirt button. Microsoft 2000 and Linux compatible. October 24, 2000 PAGE 31

Classified Classified Club Notices Lost-& Found Advertising Display. ETRtEVER UMBC student clubs A free servic~ offered Advertising R WEEKLY rna y make announce­ to UMBC students, $6.00 per 30 words ments only in this faculty and staff. $0.50 per bold word $20 per column inch section. Five lines are Limit 5 lines. University Center 214 free, each additional $20 for advertise­ 1000 Hilltop Circle Does not include: ments under 20 col­ line costs $1.50. Personals Baltimore, MD 21250 The cost is $1.00 for a PERSONALS, LOST umn inches (410) 455-1260 & FOUND, CLUB four-line ad and 25 · (410) 455-1265 (FAX) Thrift Shop NOTICES or All classified display Mon.-Fri. 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. cents for each addi­ A service for current tional line. Ads in all THRIFT SHOP. advertisements UMBC students pro­ See separate rate under $30 must Classifieds are due at 4:30 pm viding three free capital letters or schedules on this be prepaid on the Thursday preceeding the lines of advertising including_ bold lines page for more before insertion in issue and may be placed in for any item for safe cost an additional 50 information. The Retriever Weekly. person, mailed in or faxed. under $50. cents.

HELP WANTED Cash! Call 1-888-777-4642 or e­ FOR SALE Transgender, Allies Group, every mail sales@suncoast vaca­ Thursday in SS0002 from 7:30pm AMST T SHIRTCONTEST tions.com bonuses. Car req. Must know how '99 Mazda Protege, 5 spd 4 door, to 9:00pm. Contact us at X6370 Design our shirt and logo Win to have fun with kids. Flex. hrs. pwr windows & locks, AMFM, or freedmn@ sta.umhc.edu. $25. Entries due 9am om I I 113 in Spring Break! Deluxe hotels. eves./wkends. Will work around CD, pwr sunroof, Lojack and FA 453. hmager2@ gl.umhc.edu reliable Air. . Free Food. Drinks. your schedule. FUN JOB! 410- theft deteiTent, $I I ,500, excellent Attention all students interested in for info. and Parties! Cancun, Jamaica, 654-9042 . . condition, 410-233-2491. joining the Persian Students Bahamas. Mazatlan, and F.lorida. Association, we'll be meeting AMST CHILI COOKOFF Travel Free and Earn Cash! Do WOMEN- EARN $3,000 AS AN CLUB NOTICES Monday Sept 25th during free I 1/17 10:30-2pm Enter your It On the Web! Go to EGG DONOR - HEALTHY. hour in Social Sciences 109. Also recipe and win a prize for best StudentCity.com or call 800- MATURE. AGED 20-29, AVER­ The Men 's Rugby Club practices contact Babak, at tasting hmage r2@ g l.umhc. edu 293-1443 for info. AGE WEIGHT. TO DONATE Tuesday and Thursday from 4:00 btofig I @ gl. umbc.edu for more for info. EGGS FOR AN INFERTILE to 6:00 p.m. at the Pit, directly information. S.PRINGBREAK 2001 hiring on COUPLE. MEDICAL/LEGAL across the basketball courts. SPRING BREAK 2001 Jamaica, campus ad reps SELL TRIPS, EXPENSES PAID, PLUS $3,000 behind the dorms. No experience Join the UMBC JuJitsu Club Cancun, Florida, Barbados, EARN CASH. GC FREE! COMPENSATION FOR .A 1 necessary. Call Kevin at x7265 or http://sta.umbc.edu/-jujitsu/email Bahamas, Pa:dre. Now Hiring Student Travel Services, WEEK COMMITTMENT. CON­ e-mail [email protected] with :[email protected]. Campus Reps, Earn 2 Free Trips. America's #I Student Tour FIDENTIALITY AT ALL any questions. Free Meals ... Book by Nov. 3rd. Operator, Jamaica. Mexico, TIMES. CALL FAMILY BUILD­ Join UMBC Aikido Club. Meets : Call for FREE info or www.sun- Bahamas, Europe, Florida 1-800- ING CENTER. INC. 410-494- Chess Club meets every Friday splashtours.com 1-800-426-7710. Wed. and Sun. See Web for more 6 4 8 4 8 4 9 8113, TOWSON. afternoon 4-6pm in UC 310 for info. http://sta.umhc.edu/-aikido. www.gospringbreak.com informal games. conversation and WANTED! Spring Breakers! Bill Bateman's Bjstro in instruction. Everyone is wel­ GOODFOOD COLLECTIVE Cancun, Bahamas, Jamai<;:a and Piano/keyboard instructors: If you Clarksville is now hiring all posi­ come, from beginner to grand­ RALLY Nov. 1st l-2pm UC Florida & Mazatlan. Call Sun took 4 years of piano lessons, tions (servers, Cooks, Hostesses) master. www.umbc.edu/chess, Plaza Come eat free good food, Coast Vacations for a free we'd like to talk to you! Playtime (410)531-7900 Apply In Person. [email protected], x8499 show the admin campus desire for brochure and ask how you can Piano is looking for instructors in Must be energetic and self-moti­ a student-controlled shop offering organize a a small group and Eat, your aren. We supply all students. · vated. Contact Lee. Flexible Come join the Freedom Alliance, healthy food, and meet Mr. Drink, Travel Free and Earn materials, training. $I 5/hr. + · hours. UMBCs Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Asparagus. ·.--'

PAGE 32 Oct. 24, 2000

Karalyn Krieger continues to Pratik Shah explains why U.S. 29 save shots in UMBC's net. POR dominates the world of golf. 28 - Undefeated Retrievers Overwhelm Hapless Seahawks UMBC Sophomore Heather Kerley Named Northeast Conference Player of the Week DAVE CHEN ured out how to fix its scoreless before a kill by senior right side Retriever Weekly Staff Writer situation, but the Retriever domi­ and team captain Sarah MacCord nance was too strong for the finalized the Seahawks' demise. The UMBC volleyball team Seahawks to handle. By the time In game three, Wagner appar­ continued its quest for the Wagner added another point to its ently had no way to answer Northeast Conference crown by game total, UMBC was already UMBC's constant barrage despite romping over the Wagner College comfortably ahead 11-2 and just calling two time outs when the Seahawks in yet another three­ beginning to warm up to the task. Retrievers led 6-0 and 12-0, and game match by scores of 15-2, Then just minutes later, a thunder­ UMBC's NEC rival was finally 15-5 and 15-0 on Wednesday, ing slam by outside hitter Joanne put out of its misery with a 15-0 Oct. 18. This latest victory Marshall finished the game at 15- shutout. improves the Retrievers' record to 2 and gave the Seahawks some Match statistics for both teams 5-0 in the NEC and 13-12 overall, time to prepare for the next were reflective of their perform­ while Wagner sinks lower to 0-4 Retriever assault. ances, with UMBC hitting .427 against conference rivals and 4-19 Wagner's game plan worked in for the match and recording team on the year. game two as UMBC skipped out totals of 47 kills, 44 assists, 51 Game one began like ma~y to a 4-0 lead before the Seahawks digs and seven team blocks. other recent matches for UMBC found way onto the scoreboard. Wagner hit a dismal-.042 and had with the Retrievers storming out The Seahawks would cut the 14 kills, 12 assists, 34 digs and of the gate to take a 7-0 lead until deficit to 4-3 until a kill by soph­ one team block. the struggling NEC opposition, omore setter Heather Kerley Individually, senior mid{Ue this time the Seahawks, managed sparked a 6-0 Retriever run and hitter and team captain Kara to squeeze one of its two points left the Seahawks straggling to Welniak was the brightest star onto the scoreboard. Wagner had overcome a seven-point deficit. Dave Chen I Retriever Weekly Staff called a timeout after the 7-0 Wagner then mustered its efforts In Your Face: UMBC will look to cqntinue its unbeaten streak this UMBC charge and somehow fig- to sneak in two more points see VOLLEYBALL, page 28 weekend versus Robert Morris and St. Francis (PA). Retrievers Respond to Call With 1\vo Conference Wins Men's Soccer Now Stands Alone in Second Place in Northeast Conference Competition

BRANDON DUDLEY AND St. Francis (PA) this past week. 0 victory, the Retrievers' highest­ scoring for the Retrievers at the 65:36 mark to seal the Colonials' PRATIKSHAH Fortunately for . UMBC, the scoring game of the season at 12:47 mark. The senior rifled a fate with an insurmountable 4-0 Retriever Weekly Editorial Staff Dawgs were able to answer the UMBC's Soccer Pitch. With the shot from 18 yards out off the lead. Senior_ forward Ryan call as the Retrievers dominated victory, the Retrievers improved right post and beat the Colonial Lampton put the icing on the The Retriever men's soccer both games from start to finish. their record to 11-4 overall, 5-3 in netminder. Celenza continues to cake, scoring the final goal for team faced two must-win situa­ In the victory versus Robert the NEC, while the loss dropped lead the South Atlantic region in UMBC - a penatly kick at the tion versus Northeast Conference Morris, UMBC out-shot the Robert Morris to 7-9-1 overall, 5- scoring with his 14th goal of the 79:36 mark. foes Robert Morris College and Colonials 20-9 in a con~incing 5- 3 in the NEC. season. Just 2:12 later, Brown Sophomore Brian Rowland Junior forward Ricky Brown scored his first goal of the contest, tallied his sixth shutout of the sea­ was the hero for the Retrievers, a rebound blast off a shot from son, while freshman goaltender scoring three goals in what was junior P.J. Wakefield. Mike Ozdinek made seven saves only his second appearance in the Up 2-0 heading into halftime, in Robert Morris's defeat. Retriever line-up since Sept. 13. the Retrievers looked to continue The Retrievers also soundly Brown injured his knee against their stellar play, and at the 48:08 crushed their second opponents of University of Maryland-College mark, Brown scored his second the week, a 7-1 drubbing of St. Park and just recently got back in goal, a rebound off of a Joe Francis (PA). Facing yet another action last Sunday for 24 minutes Capone shot. Brown then scored in the Retrievers 2-1 loss to LIU. his third goal, booting in Giuliano Celenza opened the Celenza's through ball at the see MEN'S SOCCER, page 29

Men's Women's Women's Soccer Volleyball Soccer

Wed. Oct. 25 Robert Morris @ UMBC - 2:00 George Mason @ UMBC - 2:30 p.m. Wed. Oct. 25 p.m. UMBC @ Lehigh - 4:00 p.m. Sun. Oct. 29 Sun. Oct. 29 St. Francis (PA) @ UMBC- Fri.-Sun. 27·29 MBC @ Mt. St. Mary's- 1:00 p.m. 1:00 m. NEC Tournament @ UMBC

Cross Men's Country Tennis

Amy Banowetz I Retriever Weekly Staff Sat. Oct. 28 Air Max: Senior Pat Halter shows his agility versus St. Francis NEC Championships Tue. Oct. 26 Sat.-Sun. Oct. 28w29 @ New Britian ( CT) Quinnipiac @ UMBC- 3:30 p.m. Towson Tournament (PA). He, along with other seni~rs, was honored on "Senior-Day''.