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The Annotated Mina Volume One Copyright 2010 by Mina de Malfois. 1 The Annotated Mina Volume One ISBN: 978-0-557-49243-5 2 The Annotated Mina Volume One Dedicated to the Clives,1 the Harkers,2 and to all of Mina’s friends and supporters at livejournal and journalfen. Mina can be contacted at [email protected]. 1 The Clives are Mina’s beta readers. This is first mentioned in Staffing Problem (part two). 2 Mina’s online readers are called the Harkers. This is an affectionate reference to Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and was first coined by Invidereliana. Invidereliana: Semi-private communication via Livejournal. 20 January 2007. 3 4 Mina de Malfois and the Snailmail Affair I’d been online friends3 with Arc since her fanfiction archive agreed to host my stories (as well it might: I’m ferociously well-known, and it must have been quite a boost for them, acquiring me). But our friendship took a significant leap forward when some of my fans started chattering about celebrating my upcoming birthday by sending me cards and gifts.4 I was pretty chuffed about this, but there was one difficulty. Arc only has about twenty people friended on livejournal, so she hadn’t even heard about the proposed present-giving until I’d brought her up to speed. That’s the problem with Arc, you know: she refuses to cultivate people properly, or brighten herself up at all. I mean, if 3 Mina and Arc are meant to resemble Bertie and Jeeves, of the brilliant P.G. Wodehouse books. Alert Harkers have also seen a resemblance to E. F. Benson’s Lucia and Mapp; this was unintentional on my part. 4 There have been many instances within fandom of well-known fans attempting to persuade or encourage their ‘friends’ to send them money or buy them gifts. Examples include Cousin Jean asking for money to take a year off and write fanfiction, and efforts to buy Cassie Clare (the former Cassie Claire) an iPod. Embitca. ‘Can’t We Just Buy You an iPod?’ Fandom Wank 10 August 2005http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/776590.html (21 January 2007).Snacky ‘Buy a BNF an iPod.’ Fandom Wank Wiki. 26 November 2005 5 she just had more of a sense of style, she could probably make it to MNF status--particularly with my help, since, as I don’t mind telling you, I am easily the Big Name Fan of at least two fandoms. But she just has no aptitude, I suppose, for putting herself out there. Even her screen-name, Archivist12, is forgettable. You’d never guess she runs ‘Penn’d Passion’5 from that, would you? But she’s sensible, even if she’s a trifle dull, and I always turn to her for advice. ‘The thing is,’ I typed, ‘I don’t want to give out my mailing address to a bunch of fangirls.’ I paused, trying to figure out how best to put this. I didn’t have a P. O. Box, and in point of fact, right now I couldn’t afford to go get a P.O. Box. But I didn’t want to give out my home address, either.6 The thing was, when you got right down to it, I may have given some of my fans the impression that I lived at--well--rather a better address than my current digs. They might, when you read between the lines, have been expecting a house, not an apartment. A largish house. I tried http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Buy_a_BNF_an_iPod (21 January 2007). 5 The archive is named Penn’d Passion as a subtle sneer back at the people who sneer at female fanfic authors for writing out of pent-up lust. 6 Mina can’t give out her address because it would reveal that she is poorer than she says she is. Her ‘manor’ was inspired by Slytherfen and their ‘Malfoy Manor’ and ‘Snape Manor’ fantasies. Cassandra Claire sweetly gave out her P.O.Box address at one point. Cassandra Claire. ‘FAQs.’ 9 March 2002. That was kind of her. http://web.archive.org/web/20020608000054/http://www.livejournal.com/~cassieclaire 6 to find a way to get this across, but as usual, Arc didn’t need a whole lot of explanation. It’s one of her nicest qualities, really. ‘For security purposes,’ her message said, ‘it’s probably best that you keep quiet about your location.’ ‘Yes, exacty,’ I responded, leaving out an ‘l’ in my relief. ‘What I need is someone who could lend me their address and forward my mail.’ ‘Someone close to you, whom you trust,’ she replied, ‘and someone, moreover, whom the fangirls would accept as a reliable, credible person who would pass on their mail to you.’ It was as though she were reading my mind. Once more I found myself marvelling at her ability to catch on to what I needed. ‘Yes, quite,’ I agreed. ‘A close, personal friend within fandom,’ she went on. I hesitated, fingers paused over the keyboard for a moment. That was a difficulty, really. I mean, for obvious reasons, I’d found it politic not to get too close with any one BNF. Associate too closely with one of them, you see, and the others are apt to turn on you, out of pure jealousy and spite. It’s dreadful the way some of these people behave; you’ve no idea. And then, of course, I didn’t want my well-known name propelling some other fanfic author to the (21 January 2007). 7 top of the lists. ‘Hey, you wouldn’t like to do it, would you?’ I asked. I was trying to sound spontaneous there, but I’d thought it out beforehand. I could trust Arc, you see. She didn’t even write fanfiction, so the competition angle didn’t apply, and really, she stood to benefit from this, if I could just make her see it. ‘It would make people more aware of the archive, I bet,’ I typed. ‘It would do that,’ she agreed. ‘But you realize, you’d have to give me your mailing address.’ I frowned at the monitor. Sometimes I had the slight feeling Arc guessed more than she let on, but she never really came out and said anything directly. ‘I’m staying at a friend’s apartment right now,’ I wrote finally. ‘I’ll send you the address here--the friend’s address, I mean. They won’t mind.’ ‘Sounds fine,’ came the answer. ‘I say, Arc,’ I wrote--I’m prone to these little Britishisms; really, it’s almost as if I were British, and more than a few fans have speculated that I must have been educated in England, a notion I’ve done nothing to disabuse them of--‘this is safe for you, is it? I mean, I don’t want you giving your address out online if you’re not comfortable with that.’ She was so reticent about her personal 8 information that for all I knew Arc lived alone, and I really wouldn’t have wanted to put her in any danger. I’m awfully fond of her, when you come right down to it. ‘Oh, no,’ she assured me. ‘Don’t worry. It’s perfectly safe.’ So that seemed neatly concluded. She posted the announcement on the archive’s bulletin board, letting everyone know that she could forward mail to me, and listing a P. O. Box as her address. I dropped a few discreet hints here and there around the web so everyone would know I was onboard with this scheme, and that Archivist12 had my fullest confidence, and I returned to check the boards later that night, to see how my readership was reacting. Imagine the horror I felt when I logged on and found a pack of fangirls debating not Arc’s reliability, but my very existence! ‘For all we know Mina could be a middle-aged man,’ one had written. Another of the little fiends had chimed in with, ‘She could have given Archivist12 a fake address. I don’t want to see Archivist12 wasting money on postage if the stuff’s only going to be returned to her.’ I had loyal defenders, of course--the ones vowing to send 9 presents for me to Arc’s P.O. Box far outweighed the sceptics, I’m pleased to say, and many of them were roundly telling off the others for doubting me--but still, it gave me a nasty feeling to see them debating the point. And a couple had already suggested channelling their money into donations to keep ‘Penn’d Passion’ running instead. I suppose the site does take a lot of funding, but still, it’s a bit of a letdown to be promised gifts in the mail, and then find out people are doing something else instead. And if you think that was bad, it was as nothing compared to what happened next, because just as I went to reassure them of my continued existence and love for presents, my internet connection failed. I spent a jolly uncomfortable night, let me tell you. I tried logging on several times, but no go. I couldn’t settle down to anything else; just couldn’t concentrate, if you see what I mean. Without me there to guide the conversation, who knew what the fangirl rumours would come up with. I don’t mind telling you, I’d put in a lot of time and effort creating my online image, and it gave me the cold chills to contemplate its being ripped to shreds while I was helpless to defend myself.