Finding Safe Harbor: Buddhist Sexual Ethics in America, Buddhist Christian Studies, 24
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Kaza, Stephanie. 2004. Finding Safe Harbor: Buddhist Sexual Ethics in America, Buddhist Christian Studies, 24. BUDDHIST AND CHRIS'IIAN VIL,\flSOF SE,X FindingSafe Harbor: BuddhistSexual Ethicsin America StephanieKaza (lniuersityofWrmont When the Buddha left home in searchof spiritual understanding,he left behind his wife and presumably the pleasuresof sex. After his er.rlightenment,he encouraged othersto do the same: renounce the world of the sensesto seekliber:rtion from suf- fering.The monks and nuns thar fbllowed the Buddha's reachingsf<>rrnecl . kind of sexlesssociety, a society thnt did not rcproduce itselfbiologicaily.r By abstainingfron.r sexualrelations, Buddhist monirstics intended to reduce attachment :rncl model ar-r alternativeto lay life. Buddhist societywould conrinr"revia transmissionof the tcircl.r- ings,a spiritualform ofcontinuity noc depcndenton sex. But of course,the Buddha was teachingordi'ary peoplewith ordinary appetires for sexualconracr. And rheseappetites could really get i' the way ofspiritt,"i prog- ress;thus we 6nd no shorrageof Buddhist colnmenrary on scxuality ar-rclirs rami6- cations.And despire2,500 yearsof wisdom on this subject,Buddhist reachersancl studentsare still blundering into sexualconracrs rhat underrninetheir owr-rprogress and ofte' the progressof othcrs. clc.rly rhis is not a hur.nanfallibility that can be correctedby setting up some sin-rplelules. In fact, sexuality is one of the most deeply hard-wiredneurological drives of thc human organism, not e.sily uprooted even for lofty spiritual ideals. From a Buddhist perspectivc,working with sexuality is working with artachmer.rt. How can we unclerstandthat amachmentin its biological origins? In A Natura/ His- toryof Sex,Adrian Forsyth describcsir.r vivid dctail the ecology and evolution of mat- ing behaviorin the animal kingdom.r ln sixteenchapters rhar c.ver every biological strategyyou can imagine-from incest ro role reversal,infanticide ro sex chalgg- the author shows how costly sex c:rn be to individual organisms.Though ,., i. ,ur the only means of reproduction, ir certainly involves the most con-rplcxbehavi.rs, anatomicalvariations, social choices,and ir-ra few cases,the risk of death. \what can possiblymerit such a grear invesrmcnt in momentary pleasure (if indeed it is plea- surablefor some animals)?The evolutionary answeris, ger.reticallyvariable offspr.ilg. variation is the key to surviving calamity as a species.If all animals of a specieswcre geneticallyidentical, they wouid be terribly vulnerable to single eventsthat exploited their weakr-resscs.But with variation, there is alwaysa chancethat some will makc it []uddhisrChritiau5rudirc )4 (200,1).o bv L.r.ircrsitvof I {erviri'il)rcss. All rightsrc.crvecl r 24 STEPHANIE KAZA through ar-rdgo on to survive the new conditions (post-earthquake,fire, icestorm, Pl:rgue,€ tc.J. Scen From the long vicw ofevolution, sexualityis the kcy to survival ofthc specres. So it is not sr,rrprisingthirt sexualcondirioning affectsthe enrirehuman brain, a fact well known to human adolescents.'Ibsee how n-ruchcor-rditioning must be acldressed by Buddhist practic€,we can look briefly :rt the neuralmap oFrhe human brain.The part of the cortex that responds to touch is wrappecl around the ccrcbrun-r,with specific areasrcgistering touch in the diflerent parts ofrhe body. The area taken up by the ger.ritalsis about as largc as rhe resr of rhc chest, abdomcn, and back pur together. It is equivalent to the area used for the hands or the lips, rwo parts of thc body where touch is crucial fbr finding and mar.raginefood. Rita Cartcr, in Mappirtg the Mind, points out thirt "connections fror-n the scx-sniffing, sex-scckingand sex- r€active areasof the limbic systemsradiirte to almost every corner of every cortical lobe, feeding the urge to our consciousminds."J Sexuirlactivity involvesnot only touch arrd high-level visual recognirion but alsocmotion, thought, and, in the fronrirl lobes,rnorality-some of our most sophisticaredand abstractthought processes. It is clearthat sexualitypresenrs no small chirllengeto religiouspracrice . How has Buddhism attempted to work with this deep biological condirioning?T'he ccnrrirl guidelines for Buddhist ethics c:rn be found in thc five foundational precepts.Prac- ticing the preccpts is seenas a way ro reduce suffcring and to deepcn one's cepacity fbr achieving enlightenment. The first rwo preceprsdeal with not killing ancl not stealing,che third preceprdeals with not engagingin sexualmisconduct, the fourth is not lying, and the fifth is rrot using ir.rtoxicants.'fheoriginirl languagefor rhe third PrecePtin the Pali texrsis kamesu,or wrongful conduct with regard to the five sense organs.4Sexual rnisconduct is seenas a parricularlydamaging fbrm of sensualabuse since sexual activity c:rn generate so much suffering. Thc Buddha is said ro have admonishedhis foilowersto avoid unchastity"as if it werea pit of buming cinders."5 'fhis is some indication the Buddha recognizcdhow powerftrl the sexdrive is in fbrm- ir-rgattachment. In contrast to thc absolutemorality cxpressedin somc Christian traditions, where sexuality may be seen as a sin ag:rinstGod, the basis for Buddhist ch:rstity is morc instrumental,alnost pragmatic.(ietting tangledup in sexmakes it much harder to be freeof attachmentand attain enlighrenmer-rt.'lwosynonyms for nirvanapoinr to this: uiraga means "absenceof lust" tnd tanhrtkhayameans "wanirrg oF craving."r' The enlightened person is one who is free from craving or desire.The Second Noble 'lo Tiuth points to desire as th€ causeof suffering. be frce of desire is to be free of sufFering.Craving or desire is seenas driving the twelve links of coclependenrong- ination. Desire arisesfrom feelings generatedfrom sensation through conracr (and sexual contact is very strong conract). Quite quickly, in a single momenr, cravrng can lead to attachment to the fcelings (positive or negarive) generated by cor-rtact. Attachment generatesconsciousncss, which leads to further stagesof becoming. A lot of attachmenr keeps one firmly in the grip of the endlesscycle of desire. Thc Buddha adr.isedhis Followersto avoid sexualconract in order to rcduce the prin of attachment and thus attair.rtheir spiritual goalswith lessdistraction. BUDDHIS]' SEXUAI,.ETHICS IN AMERICA 25 Vhat, in particular, is rhe nature of attachment formed through sexualactivity? The Buddhist ethicist Saddhatissapoints to the danger of lusting after permanence through procreation.T The Buddhist view of the world, however, is that everything is impermanent. Understanding this is key to developing equanimity in the fice of an ever-changingreality. Sexualactivity can also dispel loneliness,reinforcing a false senseof the "I" as permanent.Anorher dangeris attachmentro powerwithin a sex- ual relationship. This kind olr lust aiso builds the ego sell using various degreesof domination to maintain self idenrity. For some, attachment can arisefrom addiction to stimulatiorrand arousal,the necd for consrantsensarion. The Buddha used the metaphor of the leper who tried ro cure his wounds by burning thern. Applying fire provided some relief but soon the sorcs festeredfrom the burns and begar.ritching again.Thc Buddha offersa more effectivccure brought by a great physician, the med- icine of the Dharma, which car.rcure the leper forever of the addicrive craving.s Sexual activity is sccn as rhe srrongest bond ro earrhly existcnce.The Buddha comparedit to the stickiestkind of tree sap. Oncc stuck in this sap, like Br'er Rabbit in the briar patch, it is very difficult to get free. The monasric solution was ro prac- tice celibacy.The requirement of celibacy is in Fnctusually central to the definition of mor-rasticpracticc. But what about lay practitioners, family men-rbers,and ordinary men and women still bound by their evolutionary inheritar.rce? The third preccpr irr leastprovided some limits on human behirvior that could minimize their suffcring. SEX, 1]UDDHISM, MODERN AMERICA Vhen the mosr recenr wave of Buddhism came ro rhe \Xlesr,this sticky rree s:rpwas a conspicuouspart ofthe sociallandscape ofthe 1960s.Beats, hippies, and lovechil- drenwere all breakingout of the "sexis sin" erirof the 1950s.California Buddhists were surrounded by the free-sexrevolution; it wirs pretty hard to ignore. Con-rpli- catingthis wasthe confusingfact thirtJapanescpriests were nor celibate.In the nine- teenth centurv at the er-rdof thc Tokugawa cra, all Buddhist secrswe re rcmoved from governrnentcontrol and releasedfrom legal resrraintson marryir-rg.In firct, the gov- ernment encouragedpricsts to marry ir-ri.rn :lrrcnrpr to break up tht: power of Bud- dhism. Jap:rneseBuddhists no longer hcld to celibacyas a de{ining pracrice.How did this cor-rftrsiontranslate to lay Ar-nericanstrying to figure out what Zen was?Bud- dhist poet Clirry Snyder observed,"'I'he questions of marriage, family, and sexuality have never been resolved.Not by the J:rpanese,ar-rd less so by the Americans. They 'I'hey just overlook thern. don't kr.rowwhar elseto do with them."') In the effbrt to establishZen in America, the side sroriesabout sexuality arc nor so pretty. Lct me iilustratewith a personalnote. My own practice exper.iencewith the SanFrancisco Zen Center in the 1980swas enrirely marked by the shadow of a major sexualscrndal ir.rvolvingrhe abbot Richard llaker. After a phenomenal growth period in which Zen Center dcveloped threc practice cenrers,bought numerous buildings, and establishedseveral major businesses-puming Zen Buddhism stror.rglyon rhe map in,{1nsri61-1h6