Kaza, Stephanie. 2004. Finding Safe Harbor: Buddhist Sexual Ethics in America, Buddhist Christian Studies, 24.
BUDDHIST AND CHRIS'IIAN VIL,\flSOF SE,X
FindingSafe Harbor: BuddhistSexual Ethicsin America
StephanieKaza (lniuersityofWrmont
When the Buddha left home in searchof spiritual understanding,he left behind his wife and presumably the pleasuresof sex. After his er.rlightenment,he encouraged othersto do the same: renounce the world of the sensesto seekliber:rtion from suf- fering.The monks and nuns thar fbllowed the Buddha's reachingsf<>rrnecl . kind of sexlesssociety, a society thnt did not rcproduce itselfbiologicaily.r By abstainingfron.r sexualrelations, Buddhist monirstics intended to reduce attachment :rncl model ar-r alternativeto lay life. Buddhist societywould conrinr"revia transmissionof the tcircl.r- ings,a spiritualform ofcontinuity noc depcndenton sex. But of course,the Buddha was teachingordi'ary peoplewith ordinary appetires for sexualconracr. And rheseappetites could really get i' the way ofspiritt,"i prog- ress;thus we 6nd no shorrageof Buddhist colnmenrary on scxuality ar-rclirs rami6- cations.And despire2,500 yearsof wisdom on this subject,Buddhist reachersancl studentsare still blundering into sexualconracrs rhat underrninetheir owr-rprogress and ofte' the progressof othcrs. clc.rly rhis is not a hur.nanfallibility that can be correctedby setting up some sin-rplelules. In fact, sexuality is one of the most deeply hard-wiredneurological drives of thc human organism, not e.sily uprooted even for lofty spiritual ideals. From a Buddhist perspectivc,working with sexuality is working with artachmer.rt. How can we unclerstandthat amachmentin its biological origins? In A Natura/ His- toryof Sex,Adrian Forsyth describcsir.r vivid dctail the ecology and evolution of mat- ing behaviorin the animal kingdom.r ln sixteenchapters rhar c.ver every biological strategyyou can imagine-from incest ro role reversal,infanticide ro sex chalgg- the author shows how costly sex c:rn be to individual organisms.Though ,., i. ,ur the only means of reproduction, ir certainly involves the most con-rplcxbehavi.rs, anatomicalvariations, social choices,and ir-ra few cases,the risk of death. \what can possiblymerit such a grear invesrmcnt in momentary pleasure (if indeed it is plea- surablefor some animals)?The evolutionary answeris, ger.reticallyvariable offspr.ilg. variation is the key to surviving calamity as a species.If all animals of a specieswcre geneticallyidentical, they wouid be terribly vulnerable to single eventsthat exploited their weakr-resscs.But with variation, there is alwaysa chancethat some will makc it
[]uddhisrChritiau5rudirc )4 (200,1).o bv L.r.ircrsitvof I {erviri'il)rcss. All rightsrc.crvecl
r 24 STEPHANIE KAZA
through ar-rdgo on to survive the new conditions (post-earthquake,fire, icestorm, Pl:rgue,€ tc.J. Scen From the long vicw ofevolution, sexualityis the kcy to survival ofthc specres. So it is not sr,rrprisingthirt sexualcondirioning affectsthe enrirehuman brain, a fact well known to human adolescents.'Ibsee how n-ruchcor-rditioning must be acldressed by Buddhist practic€,we can look briefly :rt the neuralmap oFrhe human brain.The part of the cortex that responds to touch is wrappecl around the ccrcbrun-r,with specific areasrcgistering touch in the diflerent parts ofrhe body. The area taken up by the ger.ritalsis about as largc as rhe resr of rhc chest, abdomcn, and back pur together. It is equivalent to the area used for the hands or the lips, rwo parts of thc body where touch is crucial fbr finding and mar.raginefood. Rita Cartcr, in Mappirtg the Mind, points out thirt "connections fror-n the scx-sniffing, sex-scckingand sex- r€active areasof the limbic systemsradiirte to almost every corner of every cortical lobe, feeding the urge to our consciousminds."J Sexuirlactivity involvesnot only touch arrd high-level visual recognirion but alsocmotion, thought, and, in the fronrirl lobes,rnorality-some of our most sophisticaredand abstractthought processes. It is clearthat sexualitypresenrs no small chirllengeto religiouspracrice . How has Buddhism attempted to work with this deep biological condirioning?T'he ccnrrirl guidelines for Buddhist ethics c:rn be found in thc five foundational precepts.Prac- ticing the preccpts is seenas a way ro reduce suffcring and to deepcn one's cepacity fbr achieving enlightenment. The first rwo preceprsdeal with not killing ancl not stealing,che third preceprdeals with not engagingin sexualmisconduct, the fourth is not lying, and the fifth is rrot using ir.rtoxicants.'fheoriginirl languagefor rhe third PrecePtin the Pali texrsis kamesu,or wrongful conduct with regard to the five sense organs.4Sexual rnisconduct is seenas a parricularlydamaging fbrm of sensualabuse since sexual activity c:rn generate so much suffering. Thc Buddha is said ro have admonishedhis foilowersto avoid unchastity"as if it werea pit of buming cinders."5 'fhis is some indication the Buddha recognizcdhow powerftrl the sexdrive is in fbrm- ir-rgattachment. In contrast to thc absolutemorality cxpressedin somc Christian traditions, where sexuality may be seen as a sin ag:rinstGod, the basis for Buddhist ch:rstity is morc instrumental,alnost pragmatic.(ietting tangledup in sexmakes it much harder to be freeof attachmentand attain enlighrenmer-rt.'lwosynonyms for nirvanapoinr to this: uiraga means "absenceof lust" tnd tanhrtkhayameans "wanirrg oF craving."r' The enlightened person is one who is free from craving or desire.The Second Noble 'lo Tiuth points to desire as th€ causeof suffering. be frce of desire is to be free of sufFering.Craving or desire is seenas driving the twelve links of coclependenrong- ination. Desire arisesfrom feelings generatedfrom sensation through conracr (and sexual contact is very strong conract). Quite quickly, in a single momenr, cravrng can lead to attachment to the fcelings (positive or negarive) generated by cor-rtact. Attachment generatesconsciousncss, which leads to further stagesof becoming. A lot of attachmenr keeps one firmly in the grip of the endlesscycle of desire. Thc Buddha adr.isedhis Followersto avoid sexualconract in order to rcduce the prin of attachment and thus attair.rtheir spiritual goalswith lessdistraction. BUDDHIS]' SEXUAI,.ETHICS IN AMERICA 25
Vhat, in particular, is rhe nature of attachment formed through sexualactivity? The Buddhist ethicist Saddhatissapoints to the danger of lusting after permanence through procreation.T The Buddhist view of the world, however, is that everything is impermanent. Understanding this is key to developing equanimity in the fice of an ever-changingreality. Sexualactivity can also dispel loneliness,reinforcing a false senseof the "I" as permanent.Anorher dangeris attachmentro powerwithin a sex- ual relationship. This kind olr lust aiso builds the ego sell using various degreesof domination to maintain self idenrity. For some, attachment can arisefrom addiction to stimulatiorrand arousal,the necd for consrantsensarion. The Buddha used the metaphor of the leper who tried ro cure his wounds by burning thern. Applying fire provided some relief but soon the sorcs festeredfrom the burns and begar.ritching again.Thc Buddha offersa more effectivccure brought by a great physician, the med- icine of the Dharma, which car.rcure the leper forever of the addicrive craving.s Sexual activity is sccn as rhe srrongest bond ro earrhly existcnce.The Buddha comparedit to the stickiestkind of tree sap. Oncc stuck in this sap, like Br'er Rabbit in the briar patch, it is very difficult to get free. The monasric solution was ro prac- tice celibacy.The requirement of celibacy is in Fnctusually central to the definition of mor-rasticpracticc. But what about lay practitioners, family men-rbers,and ordinary men and women still bound by their evolutionary inheritar.rce? The third preccpr irr leastprovided some limits on human behirvior that could minimize their suffcring.
SEX, 1]UDDHISM, MODERN AMERICA
Vhen the mosr recenr wave of Buddhism came ro rhe \Xlesr,this sticky rree s:rpwas a conspicuouspart ofthe sociallandscape ofthe 1960s.Beats, hippies, and lovechil- drenwere all breakingout of the "sexis sin" erirof the 1950s.California Buddhists were surrounded by the free-sexrevolution; it wirs pretty hard to ignore. Con-rpli- catingthis wasthe confusingfact thirtJapanescpriests were nor celibate.In the nine- teenth centurv at the er-rdof thc Tokugawa cra, all Buddhist secrswe re rcmoved from governrnentcontrol and releasedfrom legal resrraintson marryir-rg.In firct, the gov- ernment encouragedpricsts to marry ir-ri.rn :lrrcnrpr to break up tht: power of Bud- dhism. Jap:rneseBuddhists no longer hcld to celibacyas a de{ining pracrice.How did this cor-rftrsiontranslate to lay Ar-nericanstrying to figure out what Zen was?Bud- dhist poet Clirry Snyder observed,"'I'he questions of marriage, family, and sexuality have never been resolved.Not by the J:rpanese,ar-rd less so by the Americans. They 'I'hey just overlook thern. don't kr.rowwhar elseto do with them."') In the effbrt to establishZen in America, the side sroriesabout sexuality arc nor so pretty. Lct me iilustratewith a personalnote. My own practice exper.iencewith the SanFrancisco Zen Center in the 1980swas enrirely marked by the shadow of a major sexualscrndal ir.rvolvingrhe abbot Richard llaker. After a phenomenal growth period in which Zen Center dcveloped threc practice cenrers,bought numerous buildings, and establishedseveral major businesses-puming Zen Buddhism stror.rglyon rhe map in,{1nsri61-1h6 whole houseof cardscame tumbling down in 1983 when the abbot had severalaffairs, the last of which was with his best iriendt wifb.-fhe entire l6 STEPHANIE KAZA
tale of denial and betrayal has been recounted by Michael Downing in ShoesOutsirJe the Door,:,rbook th:rt many Zen students were afraid to seepublished.r0 l moved to ln Creen Gulch Zen Center in 1984 and lived there fbr three yearsin the aftcrmarh of th this psychic avalanchcthat splintered the community and lelrt pcoplet practiccs in tirtters fbr some rime. I had no personal relatior.rshipwith l{ichard Bakei.nor had I th studicd with his teacher,Shunryu Suzuki. I came ro practicewith othcrs inrerestedin fa Ze' and I fbund an organizarion drownir.rgin doubt, compretely u'prep.reci fbr the lc impacr of losing rheir tcircher,director, enrrepreneur,and financier. Baker'.,exposure T and deparrurewas c.lled "the apocalypse";after his era, everything changcd. Richard lJaker w:rs nor rhe oriy zen teacher ro be caught up in ,exu"l politics. There were a rash of berrayalsand criscs in rhe l9g0s rr.,.l ."riy 1990s, irrcluding I\ 'Itnzin, Maezumi Roshi at the Los Angeles Zen Cenrer and Osel the na'-rcd succes- n sor to chogyan Tiungpa. osel renzir.r,it turned our, nor only had many affirirs,but also was HIV positive, thus spreadir.rgmore than the dharn.rauntil he firallv diec{ r( (presum:rbly oltAIDS). The Shambhalacon'rn.runity is still recoveringfrorn rhc engr- b mous impacts of this scandaland have not ftrlly:rddrcssedthe need for lrrevenrarrve policiesto Protectstudcnts from inappropriatesexrul hchavior.\Thy hrs rhis:rreaof t
ethicsbeen so difllcult to approachfbr American studcrrts? I Michael f)owr-ring offcrs a number of opinions, cullcd frorr the mar-ryinterviews he did in researchir-rp;the San Fr:rnciscoZen cenrer story. First, rhere was thc will- ing collusionin rnystifyirrgthe teacheras the perlectauthority. Stgdentswerc silcnt anclsubmissive in rheir allegiar.rceto their tcacher,unwilling to challengchirn on his behavior',even rvhcn thcy kncw whar w.s goirrg.n. Sccor-rcl,as an institurion the Zcn Center was not particularlysophisticated in comrrunication and {:rcilitationn-rerh- d od.sfbr building open commu'iry. Major decisior.rswere made by the very capable I abbot and carriedout by thc staff.'l'hc bo:rrdof direcrorswas morc or lcss:rrubbcr stampto the abbot,continuing tl.rctradition begunwirh thc fbunding teacher,sh'n- I, t ryu Suzuki'under the assumptionthat rhiswas the way monrsrcr.icswcrc rur-r.Tl-rircl, person:rlaspirations for dharn-ratransnrission fi'om Bakertrtrmped people's concerps that somethingw:rs amiss. If thcir Zcn "fite" wirsin the ha'ds of the reachcr,rr was crucial to Protect that teacher-studentrclationship in order ro adv:rncespiritlally. Fourtl.r,rhere were relirtively fbw feedbacksysrcnls in place to provide reality ch.cks fbr the abbot, or, fbr that lnarrer, fbr the students.Cornmunic,rrior, *". private, ofter-r secret'and nor rransparent,with no peer check-ir-rsof significirr-rcc.Baier no longer l-rada teacherto checkhis behavioror undersranding,and he becameisolated in the le:rdershipposition, findine peersonly outside tl.reorganization. And last but cer- tair-rlynot lcast, the institutional pressuresof rr,rnr-ringseveral businesses, parricularly Creens restaurant(which w:rsa smashsuccess but took tremcndous ef-fortf,.om Zen stucle.ts who worked m()re or lessat slavewages), rook their toll on everyone. Bud- get oversight w:rs slim and even though firr-rdscor-rtinucd to pour- in frorr-rsupporr- ive do'ors, the Zen center ran in the red most years.lt did''t help that Ilaker spent money Freclyon such things as a $30,000 BMW justilying his n...1. crucial to his capacityto function. ", BUDr)HIST'sEXUAL brHrcs IN AMERTcA 27
Each cascoFsexual misconduct raisedconccrns about institutional viability, leav- ing students not only in shock about their reacher'sbehavior but wonderi'g how their hon.repractice center (and thus thcir practice) would survive the organizational earthquake.The scandalsalso exposedAmeric:rn students' naivetd in dealing with \il/hereas their teachers. Japar-resemonks in training learn to wink at their teachers' faults,hoping n-rostlyto emulate the teachers'strer-rgrhs, American students fell in lovewith Zer.rar.rd their Zen teachcrs,intoxicated by the exoric religior.rof the L,ast. The intoxication was :r wonderful high, particularly for thosewho were disenchantcd twesrern with vestcrn religion ar-rdalso governmenr, with all the fallout from the \war. vietnan who w:r.red ro co''re down from that communally cxuberant high? \when No one. the bubble burst, it wasvery p.irrful, .nd with much soul-searching, many people left the Zen Ccnter. As thesesrories hit the mecliir,tluddhist teachersaround the worlcl of1erecladvicc. refuge,ar-rd recor-rciliatior-r. From being almost a nonissue, sexual erhics rose ro rop billing, with Buddhist centcrsall over the Western world recogr.rizingtheir own vul- nerabilityin this area.Sever:rl leading figures took this opportuniry to deveioptheir -l'hese teachingson sexualethics and the precepts. then bccame the basisfbr firrthe r institutionalreform :rcrossrhe next decadc.Roberr Aitken and Thich Nhat Hanh were rwo of the closc advisorsfor the Zer-r(lenter As head teacherfor the Honolulu Zen center, Airken had to con{ront the issues of men and womcn practicingtogether. Though rhis was nor thc rradirionalmonas- tic way, he felt it was important for Ame ricar-rsto sit together in rhe zendo artd sharc all the tasksof m:rintainingrr pr:rcticc ccnrer, cvcn though he knew this would raisc some challer-rges.He fblt rhere was "an experienceof wholer-ressin having thc other sexin closeassociation throughout tl-rcday."ll l-hough sexu:rll:rntasies ancl initia- tiveswere still present,he tl-roughtthey became morc acceprableas normal in a mixed-pr:rcticesituatior-r, :rnd therefore lcssa fbcus of attention. Aitken rook a Drac- ticalappro.ch by admitting that "the sexualdrive is part of thc hurnan path oFself- realization."ll 'faking ln Aitken's now classic work, rhe Parh oJ-Zen, published in I9g2, he adrnonishedsrudenrs not to indulge in casu:rlsex, stcaling like a thief fronr othcrs or undcrvaluing or-re'ssclf as an agent of the I)hirrr-r-ra.He wrore, "Scx is ncither pure nor impure. our attitude ab.ut it can either be disruptir.eor conducivc to decp '|'lte practice."r'] Hc developedthese ideas further in Mind of c/ouer, his sct of ess:rys on the preceptsrhar c:rnreout in l9B4 just afrer the Zen Ccnter ncws had br.kcn. He tra'sl.ted the third preceptas "no unrightcotrslewdness" or, in his words, "no boorish sex."r1 He felt asceticismas well as lewdncsscould be boorish, defini.e boorish as "thinking jusr of one'sself." In his center'.spreceprs cercmony, Aitker rLse, the translation from Bodhidharma: "nor cre:rtinga veneerof attachmenr is callcd the Preceptof Not Misusi.g Sex."t5Aitkent expositionson this precepr helpcd to ground American Zen sexualethics firmly in Buddhist concernsabout sclf-centered attachment, redirecting some of the overly zealousPuritanical critique that arose ir-r responseto the betrayal. As a leading advisor for the Buddhist peace Fellowship, STEPHANIEKA7.; S
Aitken had rhe eirrsof concerned Buddhists across rhe counrry who were looking for ol insight on this thorny iss'e. His authority and even-handedapproach ,o ,"*.,"Ii,y it was a refreshingbalm in the field of wounds left behind from ir.rappropriatcsex. a( vietnamese Zcn teacherThich Nhat Hirnh was also i'volved in he$ing rl'e zen P: Center through thc morassof fceling leFtin the wake of the sexualscaldal. He oftered ti Richard Baker refuge at Plum Village in France and a chance to rcllect on his arlions t and the processof reconciliation.As a celibaternonk,'fhay (ashis sruclcnrsc:rllecl him) had virtually no experiencewitl.r sexuality,bur it was plain to hin.r that Baker's n irresponsibilityhad scverelydisrupted the stability of the practicecommur-rity. His fr very pragn"raticapproach was ro work toward stabiliry, encoural;ing a :rll menrbers of I the community to takeresponsibility fbr their part in creatingthc 'l'hay siiuarior.r.In i 985, cre:rteda vow-taki'g ccremony bascd on his "Fourteen 'I'his wo'der-firl Precepts." t version of the preceptswas radical and corrrroversi:rlir-r a number nf *"ur: "t Gleer-rGulch Zcn Center they were seenas almost :r subvcrsiveforr-n of thc preccDrs. I Thay's original vcrsion of the third precepr was worded: .I n f)o 'ot mistreat your body. Learn ro handle it with respcct. l)o ..t look on )l si your.body as only an insrrur-nenr.Prcserve vital e'ergics iseru,rl, breath, spirit) g for the realizationof the way. sexual exprcssio'should 'ot happcn wirhout o lovc and commirmenr. In scxual relationships, be aware of f,,tui-e sul.f-eri'git rnay causeothels.'lb preservethc happinessof other:s,rcspect che r-ightr.rnd c.mmitmenrs of others.Bc firlly awarcof the responsibilityof bringlng'cw livcs ir.rtothe rvorld. Meditate on rhe world into which you arc brinling neru beings.tr'
In a later commenrary,he explai.ed that rhis preceprwas srrongly linked with the fifth precept oF not cor-rsumilrgirlcohol or drugs, sincc both concerned destructivc and destabilizing bchavior. He felt thc primirry err-rpl.r:rsisshould bc on creating ancl supporting:r stablesociery that could then support a stablcspir-itual practicc. Iigr Thich Nhar Har.rh,sex is an "ac of commur.ri.n betweenbody a.d spirit."r- If this commur-ri.r'ris made with respect:rnd care, thc'r thcre will be lesssuflcrir-re. He cr.ir- icized the misuseof the worcl "love" in the wesrern wor[,], whcrc ir is u.u.rlly ec}rarecl with desireor thc attachment associatedwith bcing lovesick. He said this atrachmcnt is likc a drug that makesus feclwonderful b't is.ddicting. It can be a kind of prison in which we enrrap thc loved one. Instcird, Thay explaincd tl.r:rrsexual encrgy is rr ), valuable source of energy tl-ratcan be uscd to attain deep realiz:rtior-r.He criricizcd the scxindustry and the useof sexto sellproducts, warning that rhis too violatesthe I rhircl precepr. I In fall 1990 the lluddhist PeaccFellowship took up thc issucof sexualcthics in a c town meeting held in Berkcley,Cirliforni:r. This began some important public hcal, ( ing work and thc evenrualconstruction of sexualethics guidelincs for Arnerican Zcn rf pracricecenters. C)ne of the panelistswas PeterRutter, author of tl'rerccently releasecl book srr in the ForbiddenZone.rs Dr. Rutter clocumented a p:rrrern of abuseacross many positions of power,showing that what happened ar rhr-z-en cenrcr was p:lrr ) BUI)DHIST SEXUAL EI.HICS IN AMERICA 29
g fbr of a widesprcadcultural phenomenon :rlity in the United Srates.L)isturbing as that was, it wasalso very helpf,l ro .n:rlvze thc patter-nsofsecrecy and serf-deceptionthat char_ acterizedsexu:rl abuse. Ferninisr Zen writer S.s.n Ciriffin poi'recl o,.,aho* hierarchical parrernsof rclarionsl-ripberween -r'ed mcn anclwomen .,r,-rt.ibut"d to rhe power difl-ercn- tial berweenteachers ar-rd students ons that nracreinappropriate sex possible.senior Ze. center scuclenrYvo'ne l{and advocated lleci a firmer .r-'phr.i, ur-r,h" pr...pts, which 's wereapparenrly not ernphasized :ef that mr-rchin the-fapaneseZen r.adition. In express_ ing her own grief at having beenpart His of the secret-keepingmechanism, she s:ridsrre lelt it wasverv important to ;of continually rernind h..r.li'th"t shetoo wirscorruptible. That practice serveclas \\ an antidote to placir-rgall the bl:rme nn ,h. p"rp.,r"arr. The public forunr was a very helpfirl s." prol.r, f Duri'g t'e .pen-n-rikeperiod, peoplc sharedtheir person:rlexperiences and ques- tionsabout Buddhist practiccas it had [,ee,.raf ctc.r by rhesesexuar u'hea'ars. Tir prescrvecor]fidentialiry, rhc commenrs werer-rot tapcd.'l'he facilitator.lor.d the ses- sionby horrori'g peoples vulnerability and pair.r,renrinclir.rg the gr.ou1.rtr.rar this pro_ cessw:ls part oF "rerveavingthe web that connects u, in ..r,-r-rr-r-r,rnity.":rrAfter the forum, talked abor,rtfo'ning Peoplc an ethicsc.mmirree ro take the nexr srep beyond airing_fcelingsby dcveloping guiderines For practicing effectivelywith rhe third pre_ cept.1'his markcd the poir.rrat which A',-,.ri."n Bucidhist ,t.,d.,.,t.,made the strug_ glewith sex their own, anclnot just the problem of the teacher. DEVELOPING BTIDD}IIS'f CODES OIJ SEXI]AL E]-HICS This is also thc ;roi'r where this papcr begins to responcrin crepth ro John Bertrr- rongs paperprcsenting christian p"rrp..,i,r", ,rn lo,r. anclsex. i h"u. ,-r,r,takcn up the .T I has cert:rinly been valuable to Buddhists sorring our rhe same issues.She defines cri- :i teria for consensualsex berlveenadults basedon the principlc "love does no harm." ou' 'l'his tWt d is an almostexact rendition of the first and most foundarionalprecepr in Bud- dhism: "Do no harm." So herc is our common ground. cul :I Fortunet five rubrics, as summarized in Berthrong's paper in this volume, pertein of 1 primarily to the personswho are choosingwhat they will consent to. Tb reirerere, pr( J theseare (1) to choosepeer relationships,thereby minimiz.ing problems of power; un rl (2) to seekauthentic consenr; (3) to care for the health :rnd well-being of our sexual stt n p:rrtners; (4) to share scxual pleasureand intin-racywith concern fbr one's partr-rer's to ri needs as well as one's own; and (5) to be faithfirl in sexualcncounrers.ll Bcrrhror-rg ta suggeststhat theseguidelines evoke broader community reflectionson rhe "narure of de c human flourishing at a cosmologicallevel." In particular,he raisesthe irnplicatior.rs ti( of pronatalistpolicies that derivefrom Christian philosophytoward sex.How does m Lt stewardshipof personalhe alth ar.rdwcll-being interface with stewardshipoF rhe wider .( planetarysupport system?Borrowing on a phrasefrorn Ricouer,Bcrthrong suggesrs St l( ir "hermeneutics of restoration" that carr apply to both sexual ethics and ecological dr )t ethics. d, To seehow Buddhists have pickecl up this hermeneuticsof restoration, I w:rnt to fr look closely at the extcnsivework done by the San FranciscoZen Cer-rterto develop institutior.ralguidclines fbr community n.rembers.Afttcr the 1990 Buddhisr Peace ll Fellowship forun, two ir.ritiativeslaid the ground work for the SFZC work. First, a t( neighboring Buddhist group, Spirit Rock Meditation Center, under the leadership of Jack Kornficld, decided to study these questions beforetl.rey f t BUDDHIST SEXUAI- ETHICS IN AME,RICA 31 "TeacherCode of Ethics." In tl.reopening sraremenr,they acknowledgethat "with- ]1. out the support of monastic vows and Asian customs, we have a need for clear rd- Westernguidelines fof conductl." This points directly ro some of the problems of cultural translation faced as Buddhism is being transplanted in the west: problems llll o[monastic/lay practice,male/femirle relations, student/teacher expecrarions. The precept on refraining From sexual misconduct is the lor-rgestof rhe five, srf,ring unequivocallythat a "sexualrelationship is never appropriate berween teachersand ral students."25They further agreerhar all teachersshould "not use rheir teaching role 'rt to exploit their authority and position ir-rorder to assumea sexualrelationship with _b a student."26Ifa relationshipdoes seem ro be developingbetween a reacherand stu- of dent, it is recommended that that form of the relirtio'ship be ended befbre a roman- ns tic (and presumablyphysical) relationship is begun, allowi'g a minim.m of three months berlveenthe two. -'r san FranciscoZen (lenrer'sethics document is similar in srrucrure,though even s strongerthar-r the Spirit Rock documenr. Becauseof the extrcme suffering engen- ,I deredby the Richard Baker episode, the Zen Centcr languagc is q.ite cxplicit in describingthe potential for harm. Their statementregarding the third preccpt is, i' full: A discipleof Buddha does not misuse sexuality but rather cultivaresand encouragesoper-r and hor-restrclationships. The Lcn Center sangharecognizes that sexualityis as much a part of the field of practiceas any orher aspectof our daily livcs.Acknowledging and honoring our sexualityis parr of creating an environmenrwhere conscious,mindful and compassionaterclationships can be cultivatccl. Specialcare musr be taken wher-rpeople of unequal status or authority enter inro a sexualrelirtionship. ln particular, there are two forms of relationshipswhich can lead ro grear h.rm and confirsion. Therefore both are cor-rsideredir misuse of sexuality witl-rin our community.l; fhey then take up full legal rcsponsibiliry asan institution, declarir.rgir first a mrs- useof sexualityfor ,rny adult at tlte 7,en Ccnter ro engage in sex."vith a minor. Ecl-ro, ing the Spirit Rock prohibitio' on reachcr-srudentsexuaiity, Zen ce'ter recom- mendsa six-nonth neutralperiod afterending a teachingrelationship and beginning a sexuallyacrive peer relatior-rship.Further, rhey recommend that anyone in a fon-nal religiousleadership role with "clear advantagesof influence in relationship ro oth- ers"should discussthe appropriatenessof thcir potential relationship witl.r a practicc leader.2s'l'hezcncenter also adds an exrra precaution fbr new students,based on its experienceat the residentialcenters, where peop[e can be easilyclisrracted by inrrigu- ing practice mates: 'we have lear'ed that it r.kes about six monrhs for a new studcnt to est:rblish the foundatio' of his or her practice:rndro understandthe complexnarure of inter-rel.tionships within the sar-rgha.I' order ro protecr a ncw srudenr's opportunity to practice,we cxpectanyone who hasbeen at Zen Center longer than six months to consuk with ir practice leader:rbour a poter-rtialrelationship ) )L STF,PHANIE KAZA with:r new student during the first six months of thc new studcnt'sresidency high at Zen Center. Everyone coming to Zen Clenter in any capacity has the right mell to be free from sexual hirrassment.Continued cxpression of sexual interest 4. Cor after beir-rginlormed that such intercst is unwelcome is:r misuseof sexr-raliry.r') invt exPl As with Spirit Rock, the ethicsdocumcnt grew our the work of an erhic. conr- ). fac: mittec, chargedby the Zcn Center :rbbotsand appointed by the board of dircctors to me( developan ethicspolicy. The processinvolvcd many hours of discussionwith con-r- sim munity membersat all three practicepl:rces ((iity Clcnter,Grccn Gulch, and'Ihssa- an jarir),continuing in an important way thc healingbegun by the earlierBPF fbrum. OPI The statementwas finalizedand adoptedin November 1996. 6. See proceduresas Spirit Rock: The 7en Cer.rterguidelincs cover similar grievance Par liling a cornplaint,acceptiltg a complaint, forming a grievancccomtlittce, invesri- I higl garing rhe cornplaint, and reporting the committee's fir.rdings.But they add to this to be us tlre rigl-rtto appeal :r comn-rittee'sdecision to ,r second cotnmittee.'I'hey also recom- pertain t rnend that a convener rnirke"r-ron-bindit-rg recommendations to both Partieson stePs ter guid they may takc toward reconciliation among themselvcsand if necessarywith rhe 7,en engage Center sangha.".roAn appendixir.rcludes types of decisionsthat might bc made by a engagec grievancecommirrce, including medi:rtedresolution, reversalof an aclministrative sive col :lcrion,private reprirnand, or public censure.It is almostas if the list includesall the address possibleacrions anyone at the Zen Centcr dreameclof to settlc the situation with dals in Rich:rrd Baker. (Of coufse, the ClrievanceComt.t.tittee did not exist at the tinrc, so among none of thesc cotrld be ofEcially mar.rdated.) Thi perhapsthe most signific:rntpiece of work undertaken by the Zet-rCenter was rhe Buddh implementationof a procedurefirr hearingout the partiesto a conflict.This reflects Buddh thc recognition that siler-rceon the p:rrt of the community was a critical lactor in abbot perperuaringthe sexualabuse ofthe teacher.'I'heprinciples listcd asguideltnes were tef an( learned from a specialistir-r mcdiation processrvho was also a concerned neighbor is alscr -.-O.t of the Zcn Center. The five stepsto this process(in abbreviatedform) and tr li.1 the or 1. Stating the Actual: A crucial aspectof conflict resolution, just as ir.rBuddhist requir practiceitself, is discriminatingbetween our interpretationsand opinions of founc an event and how the event was or is personally experienced.In part, this anteel means not making generalstiltements trut rather sticking to the particulars at mil of actual situations ar-rdthe emotions experienced. of hu 2. Being Heard: This means that everyonebe given a chance to recount how T] they remember the history of a cor.rflict,to state their feelings regarding the Chrir conflict, and to explain the goals thev havc for its resolution. Much conflict have arisesand is perpetuatedthrough a lack ofmutual understanding;taking fema calm, deliberate,and adequatetime to lister.rto each other is ofter.rall that chall is neededfor reconciliation to begin. in th 3. Restating Vhat Was Heard: To insure that everyone understandsone to tr another, it is useful for each p:rrty to brie{1yrestate what the othcr has said, i-F I I i I t BUDDHIST SEXUAL ETHICS IN AMERICA 'fhe highlighting the main poi'ts. other p:rrty rhen sayswhether rhe restate- ment is completeand accurate,and makescorrections. 4. Confission: Rcsolution and leconciliatior.ris greatly facilitateclif everyone involved reflectson how rhey may have co'tributed to a conflict and then explainsthis to the othcr p:rrty. 5. Facilit:rtior-r:It is often useful to invite one or more neurral wirnesses.r mediators to takc part in a sessior-rof cor-rflictresolution. Such a person may simply be a silent witncssproviding a senscof calm and presenceor may be an active r-nediatorwho helps ensure th:rt each person is given uninterruptecl opportunitiesto speak. 6. SeekingAdvice:In addition to or instcadoFinvitir.rg a facilitatorto parrici- patc,it can bc usef'l to seek.dvice for working informally with a conflict.rr I highlight thescguidelincs in detail herc becausethey describean ethicalproccss to be usedat the institutional level. In contrasrto Maric Forrune'srutrrics, which pertainprimarily to thc ir.rdividu:rlchoice to engagein sexualactiviry, the Zcn Cen- ter guidelinesacknowledge the implic:rtionsfor an entire organizationif its leaders engagein in:rppropriate sexual bchavior. It is as if rhe cnrirc org:rnizariol wcre engagedin casuistry,motivated by the dcep desire to nor have t,, *it,.,.., srLchcxren- sivecommunity-wicle suffering agair.r.I believerhesc guidelincs could be used fbr addressingsexual abuse irr other religiousinstitutions as wcll. As the recentscx scap- dalsin the catholic church have shown, there is no shorrirgeof sexualimproirricry amongrcligious,,rgrrriz.rt ions. Thts sangha-wide work is profound in my n-rinclbecausc it is truly Ame.cirn Buddhism in evolution, bec.rning sornetl.ringr.cry diFfbrcnt than any orher form of Buddhisnrknown to history. l'sread oF relying almost ertirely o' the reacheror abbotor governingcouncil (traditional ro rnosrfbrms of Buddhism), tl.rc7.n Cen- ter and spirit Rock havc devclopcd ways for rhe comm.nicy to takc care of irself. It is alsoprofbu.d becauseit shows the lor.rgeffort to try to recor.rcilewhat hirppened and translorm thc expcriencervith l{ichard Baker inro valuablelearnins o1 behalfof the orga'izarior.r.By takir.rgrhe initiative to strugglc through *or:ding,.-proccss,legal requirements, ancl the spirit of the precepts,these Buddhist comn-runitiesbuilJ a foundatior-r oFstabilityFor future cor-rflictsthat rnay rise.Clertainly rhere irrelro gu.lr- anteesthar sexually inappropriatc behavior will not happerr again in the firt.re, but at minimum the ethics cocleprovicles a wlry ro deal wirh tl.rcinevitably frilliblc nature of human beings deeply conditioned by sexuality, fror"nhead ro roe. Thus, my responseroJoh' Berthrong'sexploratior-r orrlove, lust, a'd sex fronr a Chr-istianperspective is to highlight the evolutionof Buddhist socialattituclcs as rhey havebecr.r codified in modcrn institutional fbrm. problemsof laylmonastic, male/ female practice still exisr as \Tesrcrnerstakc up rhe clharma, ircing morc deeply the challengesof being human. Ir-ra time when sexualityirr-rd its "bur. "r..,r,r-,m,r,rp1,,.. in rhe nreclia,it is all thc more ch:rller.rgingro crcirrea platfonn of st:rbility frorn which to build more respectful human relatior-rs.M:rrie F'orttrne'sbrave work l-rasbeen irr-r import.nt p.rt of this process.The pai'ful effbrts of califbrnia Bucldhisr san{bas ) -UO*NIE KAZA havealso contributed to the evolutior.rof socialattitudes. By sharing respor.rsibilityfor 23. See 2004). teachersand students are lesslikely to get into quite as much trott- sexr-ralbehavior, 24.Ibid of yearsof ble irsthey clid in the l9B0s. But I still wouldnt underestimatethousirnds 25.See biological cor.rditioning.Shunryu Suzuki, founding teacherof the San FranciscoZen 26.Ibid n C.nter, wils once askedby a student about whether or not to engxge in sex,and if so, 27.See rl how much. Suzuki gaveonly:r short answer:"No sex?Problems. Sex? Problerns." Zen Centet 28. Ilrid And the student was lefi to strugglewith the firll weight of this age-old question. 29. Ibid 30' Sce oncili:rtion NOTIiS 31.Ibic ('-ood l. Suwanla Sath:r,Anancl,"Iluclclhism on Scxuality and Enlightcnrnent," itr 5itx: by Patrici:r Bcattie Maly I'.. Hunt. Feytinist Perspectiucs/rorn tfu Wor/d'sReligions, cdited Jr'rng' ancl Ilaclhika Balakrishnan (Nerv Brunsu,ick, NJ: Il.utgersUrriversity Press,2001), pp. 113-l).4. 2. Adfiar.r Fors1,th,A Ndtur.a/ Hisror\ oJ'Sex (Shelburne, VT: cl'repters l)ublishing l.td, l9ti6). J. l{ita cartcr, Mappingthe Miild (Berkclev:University of california l)ress,l99B), p.71t. ,1. H:rmnralarv:r S"idloris", Buddhist Ethirs: The htth to Niruanrr (London: Wisdom, 1987),pp. 88 92. 5. lbid., p. 88. 6. DauiiKalupaharn, The Printiplcs oJ'Iluddhist l\1tho/og1 (Albeny: State Univcrsitl' ol' Ncrv York Prg55,l9$/), p. 46. 7. Sacldhatissa,p. 89. g. lllrantc (lrrnar:rr:rna,Ei,qht Mindful St?psn Happines (sonrerville, MA: wisdom, 2001), oo.119-120. (Washington,l)(-: C)ountcrpoinr' 9. Quote{ i1 Micheel l)orvning, ShocsOuxirh the[)oor 2001),p.65. -Ib 10. tell thc sroly, Michacl Dorvning contacteclthrec ycarsof itrten'icrvs,talking to as lrany kc1, players as rvoulcl meet rvith hirn. IJe combed org:rnizational rlocltmcnt's' chccked fi.t.'"...rri rn,rr..r, anclcompilcd a fairll'complete history of this tr-rnrulttror:speriocl itl Zert Cclter's l.ristorv.For thc rnosi part thc book has bccn lvell rcceived :rnd acccpted as an accu- riltc reprcsent:rtion of "lvhat came clou'tr" during tl-rattirllc. 1+ 1 I . Robert Aitkcn, Ilr Mind ot''clouer (San Fnncisco: North I)oint l)ress,I 984), p. I . 12.Ibid.. o.41. 13. Roberi Airken,'hkingthc Parlt o.f'7.ert(S:rn Frrncisco: North Point l)rcss, 19fi2), p. fl3. 14. Aitkcn, The Mind oJ Clouer,p. 37 15.Ibid., p. 43. 'Action 16.'l'hich Nhat Hanh, ancl C)ompassionin the World," Btrdlltist Peacehellou,ship Ntwsletter7, no.3 (1985): l-14. Qtrote lrom p. 13. 17.l'hichNhatHanl'r, ForaFuturetobcl'ossib/e:Comnterttrtritsontbcl'itteWonrlerfu/l're' rrprs(Bcrkeley: Parallax Press, 1993), p. 30. 18.'fhe full titlc is Sexin tfu l.orbilden Zone: Vbcn Men iu l)ou,tr-T'bcrapi.sts, l)octors, Clergy,Tiachers,andothers-Betrdywoxten's'In.rt(l.osAngeles:Jeremy_P.Tarcher,1989). i!. S",-r.lyBoucher, "First Step, Important Openir.rg,"Iluddhist I'eaceFellotuship Newslt'trer spring1991, p. 16. 20. Ibid..o.17. in this 21. As discussedin John llcrthrorrg,"l,ovc, Lust, anclscx: A christian l)crspectivc," volul.tlc. 22.Tht "Saf! Harbor" booklct can bc orclercd from the lludclhist Pe:rceFcllowship, ancl thc ethicsguidclines from Spirit Rock are postcrlon their'Wcb site, ity for See 71. 3nt, 'of