TRASH TALK: THE RETURN OF THE HUBCAP! bmaz hasn’t given out a hubcap yet this year, so I’ve wrested control of the trash reins from him to offer up this shiny hupcap for the person(s) who correctly predicts this weekend’s winners. Before I get into my choices, though, I gotta congratulate JimWhite’s Gators on a superb game on Thursday. Actually, I’d like to congratulate freep’s Sooners, too, even if they’re in Norm Coleman recount land. It was a great game, but–as should happen–some kickass defense won the game. Also, WTF are the Brownies thinking, hiring Mangy Mangini? I kind of like liked the Brownies in recent years. Yet they had to go replace a consummately likeable BillBel protege–Romeo Crennel–with the snitch who tried to turn Brett Favre into a hand-off machine? Really? Well, I guess that’ll make it easier for me to decide which of the several excellent teams in the AFC North to cheer for next year. BAL-TEN: (Tennesee won in Baltimore in week 5, 13-10) Speaking of which, I’m predicting the hot Ravens will beat masaccio’s Titans today. This is the game that pits experience (Collins) against youth (Flacco), and two great defenses against each other. In the end, I think the game will be close, but after you add in the touchdown that Ed Reed seems to believe he’s entitled to each week, the Ravens will pull out ahead. ARI-CAR: (Panthers beat the Cardinals in Arizona 27-23 in week 8 ) My bet against bmaz’s home team was the only thing that sunk me last week, but I feel much safer this week in rooting against the Cards. Yeah, the Cards have discovered they have a Hall of Fame caliber runner they’ve been ignoring. Yeah, the Cards showed some superb D last week–and I do think that D will be able to somewhat contain Carolina’s running game. But I just got a feeling that the Panthers–and not either of the NFC East teams–will be heading to the Super Bowl this year. Steve Smith will make a couple of big plays against the Cards, which will lead them to obsess over him and leave Mushin Mohammed open to keep a lot of drives alive. Plus, Carolina is at home and Arizona is away–two more strikes against the Cardinals. PHI-NYG: (The home team lost each of the regular season match-ups, with Giants winning 36-31 in week 10, and the Eagles winning 20-14 in week 14) I’m tempted to say the Eagles will win this. I say that not just because the away team has won each of the games played this year. And not just because the Giants have sucked since their star wide receiver got picked to be IL’s next Senator. And not just because the Manning boys do better without a week off. But the Eagles have the momentum here. That said, Brandon Jacobs is much healthier than he was in week 14. And to win, the Eagles would have to look like the screen-throwing team they used to be. Given the potentially crappy weather for the game, I reluctantly go with the Giants (even if I expect Bad Eli to show up for the game–god I hate predicting Manning wins). SD-PIT: (Steelers won at home 11-10 in week 11) When’s the last time you saw a game in which the punter was the MVP? Because that’s certainly what happened last week, with SD’s Mike Scifres single-handedly compensating for Peyton’s ability to gain ground on the Bolts. And for that reason I’m calling this game for randiego’s Bolts. They got rid of their East Coast curse in week 16. Rivers was playing truly inspired football at the end of the season. And Rotty tends to play even more inconsistently every first game back after he bangs up his noggin. Yes, kicking anything at Heinz Field is a dicey proposition on the best of days (though Scifres did well in similar weather in week 11). But Pittsburgh’s O has just been struggling too much of late–even before Rotty’s latest blow to the head–to win what will be a field position game. Add in the fact that the weather will probably have cleared up enough by game time to allow Rivers to be effective, and I think the Bolts win a close one. (Hubcap picture by jillciardy) TRASH TALK – GETAWAY WEEK The Phoenix Suns once, thrice actually, had a coach named Cotton Fitzsimmons. A wonderful man, and a great coach (10th winningest coach in NBA history actually). Cotton was a diminutive man with outsized character; he may be one of the only men in history that could consistently put Charles Barkley in his place, and it was with such charm that Chuck loved him like a father. Anyway, Cotton had this theory that it was always important to win "getaway games". And Cotton defined getaway games as the last home game before a big road trip or the last game before the playoffs. He always wanted to roll into tough situations on a positive note. Smart man. Well, this is the last week of the regular season in the National Favre League, and for those teams headed to the playoffs, or trying desperately to get into the playoffs, we got some getaway games. Eli, Coughlin and the Giants showed what it meant last year to play hard on a getaway game in the last week, even when you are already in the playoffs and it won’t affect your seeding. Even though they lost to the Patriots, they played their hearts out and left every ounce on the field. What they gained from that effort propelled them all the way to the Lombardi Trophy. Oh, and don’t miss today’s video, it is some excellent getaway music. Fish at Jets and Pats at Bison: Let’s be honest, this is all one big game, and it is going to be for all the marbles. If the Dolphins win, they win the East and they are in the playoffs; if they lose and the Bills beat the Pats, the Jets are in. If the Jets win and the Pats win, the Pats are the East champs. Even if the Dolphins win, the Pats can get in as a wildcard if the Ravens lose to Jacksonville. The Jets get in as a wildcard if they win and the Pats beat Buffalo, so long as the Ravens lose. I really, and I mean really, hate to say this, but I think the Dolphins will beat the Jets, the Pats will beat the Bills, and the Ravens, being the home team, will beat the Jags. This, sadly, means that Brett, the Jets and the Pats all go home. Totally sucks, but that is how I see it; the Fish and Ravens win getaway games. Donkos at Bolts: The other bare knuckle brawl for all the marbles is the Denver boys going to the beach to visit Randiego. Having spent some time in graduate school at Boulder, I am a bit of a Broncos fan, and I have always admired Mike Shanahan. I am again really sad to report that I think the Bolts will win this getaway game and head into the playoffs with as much steam as a weak kneed 8-8 team can muster. Then Norval Turner will show just what kind of coach he is and promptly lose to a wild card challenger. In the rest of the games, Giants win a close one over the Vikings in Minnesota; Panthers beat the Saints in N’awlins; Lions end their season of historic incompetence in the home of the Green Bay Packers; Rams lose in HotLanta to the Falcons; Bears succumb to the Texans in Houston; Titans make it close, but get kicked by the Colts in Indy; Browns get rolled by Big Ben and the Steelers; Raiders get walked off the plank by the Buccos in Tampa Bay; Chiefs beat the hapless Bengals in Cincy; Cowboys scalp the Eagles in Philly (and that could be an ugly scene); Redskins lose in a close game to the up and coming 49ers in Frisco; Seahawks go back to their losing ways and give the Cardinals a getaway victory at home, and with it, only the second winning season in the more than twenty years the bumbling birds have been in Phoenix. Then, like Randiego’s Bolts, they show their true nature and become fodder for a wildcard challenger Here is the complete playoff picture and calculations from Fox Sports, because this is really what is important at this point: NFC EAST New York Giants Giants have clinched NFC East division title, first-round bye and homefield advantage throughout NFC playoffs. Dallas Cowboys Cowboys can clinch playoff spot with: 1. Cowboys win. Philadelphia Eagles Eagles can clinch playoff spot with: 1. Eagles win AND Bucs loss AND Bears OR Vikings loss. NFC NORTH Minnesota Vikings Vikings can clinch NFC North title with: 1. Vikings win, OR … 2. Bears loss. Chicago Bears Bears can clinch NFC North title with: 1. Bears win AND Vikings loss. Bears can clinch playoff spot with: 1. Bears win AND Cowboys loss AND Bucs loss. NFC SOUTH Carolina Panthers Panthers have clinched playoff spot. Panthers can clinch division title and first-round bye with: 1. Panthers win/tie, OR … 2.