bserver THE STUDENT VOICE OF FORDHAM COLLEGE AT LINCOLN CENTER August 29, 2001 www.fclcobserver.com VOLUME XX, Issue 1

Fordham Artist-in- New Student Lounge Expected to Open Soon Residence Passes By Eric M. Andersson

Away at 91 A new carpeted student lounge furnished with couch clusters, a fold-out stage, a tele- vision, sound system and a computer bar with network access for students to plug in laptops, is expected be open in late August, according to University officials. The lounge, which was formerly the fac- ulty dining room, adjacent to the Lowenstein Cafe on the plaza level, is a joint project between the Student Activities Office, Facilities and Sodexho, and repre- sents an effort on the part of the University to provide both commuting and resident students with a space to socialize, according to Mary Jane Conlon-Reilly, Dean of Students. "Anyone who wants to use it is New Student Lounge Rite Brumlll welcome to," Reilly said. "During the day students can hang out and at night it will be lobbied administrators for years for a stu- Fordham administrators are eager for its used for special programming." dent lounge, according to Reilly. "Space opening. Vivienne Thaul Wechter A new door connects the lounge to the is a scarce resource at Lincoln Center. "We're really excitedj'to have this outdoor Robert Moses Plaza, allowing That was the only thing holding up the lounge," said Jennifer Mussi, Director of By Katie Jennings the lounge to stay open much later than project: where to do it," she said. Student Activities. "I think, it's something the cafeteria, said Doug Mitchell, According to Mitch Malnati, '03,, Vice that Lincoln Center really needed." Painter, poet, and sculptor Vivienne Manager of Facilities, an official President of USG, students from various The project, which cost approximately Thaul Wechter passed away at age 91, at involved with the project. clubs met with representatives from $130,000 was funded jointly through the Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City on "The room will be ready for the first day Student Activities, Facilities and offices of Vice President of Facilities, June 12, 2001. Wechter was Fordham of classes," said Lisa Garden, General Sodexho during the fall semester of Charles Hodulik and Vice President of University's Artist-in-Residence and Manager of Sodexho, another official 2000, and the students were granted the Student Affairs, Jeff Gray, and construc- Professor of the Psychology of Creativity, a involved in the project But the furniture space and included in the planning tion was carried out in July and August, class offered at Rose Hill. Wechter was wont be delivered until late August, so the process. Student Activities hired an inte- according to Mitchell. Both Gray and known on the Lincoln Center campus for room won't be furnished and set up until rior designer to design the room, and stu- HoduHck were on vacation and could not her exhibits, which were in the Lowenstein mid-September," she added. dents shared their input with her, accord- be reached for comment. lobby area across from the security desk. The lounge represents a major success ing to Malnati. A new faculty dining area is being con- In 1961, Wechter came to Fordham to set for student groups such as the "A lot of people put their two cents in," structed at the top of the escalators on the up the first Fordham art gallery and to mod- Commuting Students Association, the he said, adding that they helped pick out the plaza level, at the site of the former plaza art erate a weekly radio program on WFUV, Residence Hall Association and the color scheme of blue, orange and pink. • gallery, according to Mitchell. He estimates called Today's World, an interview program United Student Government, who have Though the lounge isn't open yet, it will be open in mid-September. • that explored the arts and current events with guests such as Salvador Dali, Pablo Cassals and Gloria Vanderbilt First FCLC Reunion, A Success Wechter became the University's full- time Artist-in-Residence in 1964; her studio By Lara Hanson Lincoln Center campus. Younger alumni mingled with the older was on the Rose Hill Campus. Additional Reporting by Katie Jennings Fordham University President Rev. not only to share experience, but also to Wechter created a sculpture called Leap Joseph A. O'Hare, S.J., also weighed in garner advice and gain occupational con- Into Faith in honor of the 1979 Camp Kisses danced from cheek to cheek as on the events. "This has been an explo- nections. "My (continued on page 2) David Peace Accord. The sculpture is on the first ever reunion was held to honor the sion of energy that has been pent up for display at both the George Meany Center alumni of FordhamJJniversityjat Lincoln too long," he said. In his final sentiments, for Labor Studies in Silver Springs, Center on JunrfCon^bert Moses Plaza. which sparked a wave of smiles and Maryland, and at the University of Cairo in Graduates from theaassesof 1968through cheers O'Hare said, "We need more of Inside: Egypt. 2001~were reunited with old friends and these parties, not fewer." With an open professors at a place they used to call home. bar, appetizers including calamari and Wechter, also a poet, said that poetry and Commentary: art belong together because, "they germi- "Some of these people I haven't seen sushi, and Frank Sinatra floating through nate and emanate from a common womb," since graduation day," said Norma Acevido the air, no one disagreed. A Commuter's as quoted by Ryan Stellabote in a profile in as tears welled in her eyes. "These really "I've been waiting for this event for 19 Subway Manifesto the Fordham Magazine. In 1975, Wechter were the best years of my life." years and the turnout has been remarkable," page 7 published a book of poetry, which was As each former student stepped off the said James White, class of'82. illustrated with her paintings called, A View escalator they were met by friendly cur- "Fordham is more than a school it's a Features: family," said Felice Itzkoff. "I remember From the Ark. rently enrolled Fordham ites, brochures Kassabian Gains Wechter was also involved in her local listing people in attendance, name cards one time asking the Dean to postpone con- community, as evidenced by her work as a and a book to inscribe and renew their struction which was said to make a mess of IBfife at FCLC founder and president of the Bronx John Hancock as a part of Fordham's leg- the school for a few weeks, so my parents page 3 Museum of the arts and helped construct a end. Putting the basic formalities aside, could see the school in its original form and new arts curriculum in the New York the alumni were then directed through he actually honored my request. That's the Arts: Public school system. the doors, past security inspection onto kind of school Fordham has always been. Sade, a Smooth Fordham produces an intimate environment Wechter was married to Nathan the plaza where a great deal had changed Operator in NYC Wechter, M.D., who died in 1969. She is since 1968. where the students know each other, and the survived by her daughter, Robyrta Change was only one of the points professors know each student personally." page 11 Rapoport and son-in-law, Bernard addressed by Rev. Robert Grimes, S.J., One group that was inseparable through- Rapoport; her grandson Michael Rapoport Dean of Fordham College at Lincoln out the entire night was 4 women who have Literary: and his wife Deborah; her sister Jeanne Center, as he stirred memories of the past been best friends since college. "We are rJEnd.o Kaplan and brothers Perez Rosenthal and but also spoke about hopes for the future now each of each others children's God par- page 9 Elliot Thaul and four great grandchildren. of Lincoln Center. Urging the 6% of ents and we will continue to be life long Her funeral was held on June 13,2001 at alumni in attendance not only to reflect friends," said Melanie Penrhyn. "The Riverside," on 76 Street and but also to help contribute to aspirations Such networking was one of the major Amsterdam Avenue. • of expansion and growth at Fordham's focal points that filtered through the air. News August 29,2001

Studies Minor First FCLC Reunion, A Success (continued from page I) favorite part of the night was watching people whip out their palm pilots and Gcaeral Description; trade numbers," said Manager of Alumni V-lh& minor focuses on the relationship Relations, and coordinator of the event, - between the environment and other dis* Nicole Moore. "It used to be that people - ciplines such as philosophy, politics, would be ripping pieces of paper, to business, communications, economics, scratch down numbers. It just goes to engineering, environmental studies, the- show how, much things have changed ology health professions, architecture, within the past 33 years." Jaw and urban studies, This minor wjll "When we conceived the idea of a also compliment the religious, political, reunion 3 years ago and began planning scientific and business issues that have this 6 months ago we had no idea how significant impacts on the environment, amazing this event would turn out to be," •The Environmental Science track said Kristen Gullo, Director of Alumni includes over 30 different courses such Relations. as "Life on Planet Earth," "Dinosaurs, According to Gullo, in November of Mastodons and Dodos," 2000 9,986 FCLC alumni, including "Bacteriology/' "Atmospheric EXCEL students received a save the date 1 Chemistry ' and "Animal Behavior." card for the reunion. In May the 9,986 This portion of the program wilt likely alum and the class of 2001, received attract those interested in the science invitations to the reunion. As of the night view of the environment. of the reunion 786 alumni had signed up « The Environmental Values and Policy for the event, 558 attended. The class of ' portion of the minor includes over 30 1998 was the most represented class. Matt Maclntyre, David Cauidwell and Brian Cuthbert, Class of 2001 * courses such as, "Design and Nature," As the final glasses of wine were sipped, RIU Brunell! "Environmental Ethics," Religion and the dancing ceased and the music hummed bittersweet end to the night, as the long for- with anticipation, now drifted back into Ecology,"" Environmental Politics and into silence. There was an air of relief and gotten faces that had begun the evening bright lights of New York City. • Law," and "Ethics in Business." Many communication, English, business and - philosophy majors will find this aspect very useful in their areas of study. New Minor Being Offered in •Environmental Science md Environmental Values and Policy are Interdisciplinary. * For science majors, the Environmental Environmental Studies science track requires 7 courses. - Environmental Values and Policy track . for non-science majors requires 6 courses

Goafs p * To become an environmentally liter- ate citizen • To help prepare for a career in an environment-related profession and graduate studies • To integrate science, values, policies and experience through internships and community service

Issues Covered • Global Warming 9 Pollution • Genetic Engineering • Population Growth • Environmental Law • Urban' Ecology • Feminist Ecology • Religion and Ecology New York City's oasis, Central Park Rita Brunelll Pos$jb|e Qirffirs: • Conservation Biology By Kristen Sardis Environmental Values and Policy track. unable to be reached for comment. m Environmental Chemistry Both of these tracks are interdisciplinary The makings of this minor had already • Environmental Health A new minor is being offered to the and include components of environmen- been established in Fordham's curricu- • Environmental Architecture and Design colleges of Lincoln Center, Rose Hill and tal science, values and policy and hands- lum with such courses as Cathead's • Sustainable Economics and Business Liberal Studies in Environmental Studies on experience though internships and "Design and Nature". The next neces- • Environmental Law for the fall of 2001. The courses in this community service. sary step was to create a program where program are available for both science "Even if they are not interested in this interest was broadened. Possible Internships; majors and non-science majors. environmental careers, they will have a "He [Van Buren] discovered that • New York Botanical Garden, American The minor will cover issues such as chance to explore issues that will have a Fordham was late to the table" regarding Museum of Natural History, Wildlife Global Warming, Religion and Ecology, significant impact on the future," says this type of program and that environ- Conservation Society, United Nations Genetic Engineering, Urban Ecology and van Buren.. This program will be valu- mental studies programs "are a common Environment Programs, community more in the minor's 45 cross-listed able for those students interested in pos- offering at other colleges," Cathcart said. service programs, environmental and courses offered, in order to make stu- sible careers such as architecture, busi- Cathcart also said that this new program, business organizations dents aware of the political, philosophi- ness, law, philosophy, theology and com- "expands the slogan 'men and women for cal, religious and scientific relationships munications. others;' not only [do we serve] for men Fop Mort! Information: of the environment. Van Buren has "always been interest- and women but for the earth [as well]." U Associate Director: Colin Cathcart "The program will hopefully inspire ed in the environment from philosophical Cathcart feels that this program is an (visual arts) students to become environmentally lit- viewpoints," says Colin Cathcart, excellent way to demonstrate that all dis- •At Lincoln Center. Susan Berger(polit- erate and concerned citizens," says John Associate Director of the program. Van ciplines grounded in physical nature can ical science), Mark Botton (natural sci- van Buren, Associate Professor of Buren polled his students to see whether come together and that they relate to one ence), John Davenport (jJhilosophyX Philosophy and Program Director. or not environmental studies was a gen- another and to nature in such a vital way. Thomas De Luca (political science), There are two tracks in the program: eral interest to be studied further. To his Added Cathcart, "we are custodians to Grace Vernon (natural science) H the Environmental Science track and the satisfaction, it was. Van Buren was this planet." • August 29,2001 Features Kassabian Gains Tenure at FCLC By Lisa de Ribere Larkin Reappointment Appeals Committee and the massive rallying of students and faculty to Most students beginning a new school keepitassabian at FCLC. Over 400 peti- year are thinking about the myriad details tion signatures, and a letter writing cam- that will get them through their studies most paign from students and alumni, were con- successfully. Few are likely to be consider- sidered by her student supporters to be a ing their professors in any way other than strong influence on the school's decision to whether they might be tough graders. But keep Kassabian on board. for Assistant Professor Anahid Kassabian, Kassabian says that the early Observer this year will begin a new phase of her life coverage of her contract difficulties during as a tenured member of the the fall of semester 1999 "provoked a lot of Communications and Media Studies stuff," including the student effort on her department. behalf which was, "really impressive, and On May 15, 2001, Fordham University really moving. It was fast." granted Professor Kassabian tenure. It was On whether the student petitions were the culmination of aTehsion-fraught, one- instrumental in FCLC's reversalo f decision, and-a-half year ordeal that began when Kassabian said, "You can never know, but I ,-s" Fordham notified Kassabian of its intention think it has to matter. A university doesn't not to renew her contract, in August 1999. want any of its constituencies to be really ! r'i'i .*.iA .'.>'.. 3..' # '* '- i . :«i *» *„ »« The reason given to Kassabian at a meeting angry. If one constituency really responds "-»*J! with the Vice President's office and reiterat- to something, that matters." ed in a followup letter was that her "partic- The first letter she received informing ^m Anahid Kassabian ular interests did not fit the needs of the her of the Tenure and Reappointment Yearbook 1999 department", Kassabian told the Observer, Appeals Committee's decision on her department should take has created a fortable with. Not because they are unpre- quoting the letter in an interview in June of appeal came past the deadline. Kassabian schism, which has undermined its efficien- pared for them, but because we don't know this year. said that it was an agonizing wait. She cy. The division seems to be drawn along how to talk about them. Thafs just not a Many returning students will remember received the second letter in the spring of bipartisan lines, with Rose Hill's faculty good enough reason not to talk about it." Kassabian's appeal to the Tenure and 2000, informing her that her services were leaning toward a sociological approach to Professor Kassabian spoke candidly being retained and her contract was being media studies while Lincoln Center prefers about her health issues, which include renewed. She began the paperwork on her a humanities emphasis, one that Kassabian Fibromyalgia, which manifests itself in pain tenure application in the fall of 2000, sub- strongly represents. Discord between the and chronic fatigue, and Multiple Sclerosis. mitting it by February 2001. Kassabian two factions has become intense during the Both illnesses are exacerbated by stress. said that when compared to the struggle three years since the school restructured. She takes weekly injections of Interferon over reappointment, the tenure decision On July 1,2001, Professor Bruce F. Berg for the MS. seemed far less difficult. of the Political Science department replaced "I have learned a lot about how to live shortest "By the objective criteria of academic the outgoing department Chair, Professor with parameters," she said, "I have always process, 1 really have done what I'm sup- Lance Strate, whose term had ended. used work as a tool for pain management posed to do," says Kassabian. "My publica- Although this move may sound unusual, a I work, in part, because it means I'm not tion record is strong, my teaching record is number of departments at Fordham have wasting my time thinking about things I. strong, and my service record is strong. been appointed outside chairs since suffer- cant control." People began to look again and see that the ing upheaval after the restructuring. On the publishing front, she is working productivity is there." Nonetheless, Kassabian remains stead- on a new book based on a previously pub- Sweet as Kassabian's triumph is, it has fast in her desire to remain at Fordham, lished journal issue, wliich she edited in been tempered with the bittersweet. She and where she was an undergrad student herself 1983, as well as a new anthology, and her physicist-husband, Leo Svendson, before pursuing graduate studies at another music book based on what she calls received news almost simultaneously to her Stanford. "ubiquitous music." own. He would have to move to California "I really Uke teaching here, and I really "It comes directly from the film music after having captured a challenging senior like the students," she says, "I get a lot back, project," Kassabian said, referring to her position researching a new silicon chip so it matters to me. That is a lot of what got most recent publication in 2001, Hearing technology. me through the whole process. Collective Film-Tracking Identifications in Kassabian is philosophical about this life is not easy, and for good or ill, a big part Contemperary Hollywood Film Music. mixed blessing. of academic life is collective. We don't "The new music book will be about music "We have always been very generous have bosses in the same way that people in listening, and the problem of attention and with each other about our careers," she says. industry do. We have a collective process consciousness. Most of the scholarly mod- "I think that ifs an investment, because where the faculty body comes together to els that underwrite the study of music what I don't want is to find myself at 50 or engage, and that's hard. Ifs got some obvi- assume that people are listening conscious- 60, resenting, or being resented for missed ous drawbacks, but ifs important and I ly and willfully. And, I think thafs wrong. opportunities. Ifs one way that we have a think you have to hang in with it." In the 20th century, there is music all over No question. IRS ft-fite is ?fio non-traditional family structure." Her char- Kassabian's family felt the stress of the our lives- music on telephones, music in acteristic "What are you gonna do?" smile past year-and-a-half, as together they tried stores, the omnipresence of radio. What irs , reveals a survivor of many battles, perhaps to sort out the ramifications for her career. I'm interested in for this new book is what the ususi iime. not all of them won. "I was worried that I might not teach function that serves." IK fact, Kassabian feels herself that she is again if I gave up, because then you're dam- Ultimately, Kassabian feels that her DJrccf Deposit io y&Uf teR known for her tendency to open her mouth aged goods for yourself, but also in the mar- struggle to remain in the Communications QiXvuni, snd you twid a«f .when other more timid souls will back ketplace," she said. "We had endless hours and Media Studies department at Fordham tti«? niowy kick in «$ \Me down. One might wonder if her confronta- of debate in my household. I think, always, has been an issue of academic boundaries tional mode of expression might have been Leo and Maral felt that teaching is so cen- within disciplines, and how to allow move- the source of her troubles at FCLC. On the tral to who I am that, not only would I not ment and growth outward from these other hand, that very trait, coupled with her know what I was doing if I stopped doing it, boundaries. expertise in music, media, and how they but they wouldn't know who I was with- "I think ifs really important for universi- Artd $o accurate, fftew affect our culture, has engendered tremen- out it, either. They said, 'You have to ties to figure out how to encourage work dous admiration from supporters in the stu- hang in. You can't let this go by.'" which crosses interdisciplinary bound- to correcr. dent body. Registration time is often the In another somewhat non-traditional- aries," she says, "Fields of inquiry come You can t>fgin your f^fum scene of telephone and online stampedes family approach, daughter Maral, now from that kind of boundary crossing and rt too, Fordham as more symptomatic of the state "She has always had a profound sense of think thafs a big part of all of the events of AsH your tax prep«riRf for of the Communications and Media Studies me as a professional," Kassabian said, "Ifs the past few years." • oil 1fo8fltetufls, o r vl«?r os erf ' department, which has been under revie^v part of her life. From the time she Was lit- And so, she will continue to teach, write, by the school, than of a personal objection tle, I've always thought that answering kids and attend music symposiums worldwide to her work style. directly and truthfully is important. I often while enjoying her family, and giving all of A difference in opinion among depart- suspect that the things we don't want to talk us a lot to think about. • ment faculty as to the direction that the to them about are the things we are uncom- Features August 29, 2001

; ™ —~~ ' —„ _•••_ „ —..T. i..ii«wmiM«iiiww»».«»«w«ivw™w«»ww>ww^^ Meet the Observer By Lauren Quigley and Lisa de Ribere Larkin .D By way of introduction> we begin the 2001-2002 year with the Observer Editorial Board's answers to the questionnaire created by Bernard Pivot for his television shows Apostrophe and Bouillon de Culture. , <••-

www. bubblegumclub.com www. bubblegumclub.com

Lauren Quigley, Co-Features Editor Carrie Lam, Graphics Editor Lisa Yim, Graphics Editor

1) Whisper 1) Revelation, Money or Idiosyncratic 1) Iconoclast 2) Forever 2) Chink 2) Failure 3) Footsteps 3) The clickety-clack of an old-fash- 3) Rainstorm (when indoors) 4) Fingernails being filed ioned typewriter 4) Middle-aged neighbor's remote- Lisa de Ribere Larkin, Co-Features 5) Shoulders and Converse sneakers 4) The hacking sounds that people control car buzzing up and down Editor 6) Stupidity, or lack of musical taste make before spitting the street every Sunday morning. 7) Bitch (Not really directed at a 5) The fantasy of a first kiss 5) Frappuccinos 1) Quiver woman, more like punk ass bitch 6) The smell of B.O. (body odor) 6) Decafe 2) Dude little bitch the bitch of the bunch Yuck! Gag! Ugh! 7) Bloody Hell 3) My son Gabriel's laugh when he's and the various uses of bitchass 7) Fuck 8) Billionaire philanthropy being tickled which is a sort of compound curse.) 8) THE Successful Businesswoman 9) Presidency of the United States 4) Snoring 8) Rock star/Hip-hop artist (The rock 9) Exterminator 10) You should have listened to those 5) A warm summer breeze by the star would have to be something of 10) You were right! Jehovah's Witnesses. ocean a campy, egotistical punk that never 6) Judgment

sold out, and the rapper would just 7) Goddamn it to Fucking Hell! ) ( be a straight-up pimp with white fur The Questions 8) Singer ' ' coats, gold teeth, plenty of big- 1) What is your favorite word? 9) Accountant butted bitches, platinum, hummers, 2) What is your least favorite word? • 10) You're OKAY! and, of course, a large posse.) 3) What sound or noise do you love? 9) Salesman 4) What sound or noise do you hate? 10) Rematch on that shuffleboard 5) What turns you on? game and this time, you're going 6) What turns you off? down! 7) What is your favorite curse word? 8) What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt? $) What profession would you absolutely not want to pursue? 10) if heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Eric Andersson, Assistant News Editor

1) Insouciance (I always-forget what Jennifer Schiavone, Commentary Editor it means, but I like the way it sounds.) 1)SPLURN 2) No Paul Hagen, Editor-in-Chief newscasts. 2) Quiet 3) You've got mail! 5) Working on a great piece of theater. 3) Rain pattering on a window 4) The noise cicada bugs make 1) Splum (Yes, I know it's made up 6) Being forced to go without sleep for 4) Country music 5) A good sense of humor. And six- and, yes, I'm relatively sure Jen put it several days at a time. 5) Being able to sleep until my first class pack abs can't hurt, either. too, but it doesn't change the fact 7) Ass (especially when said suddenly, 6) Knowing that for the rest of my life I'll 6) Ignorance that it's my word of words.) and in a state of rage, with the local have to get up at the butt crack of 7) Cumdumpster (It's not really a 2) Late (Heaven knows it's the word accent one has attempted to learn not dawn curse word per se, but it cuts like a that's given me the most trouble in to use, but which surfaces when one 7) God Fuck knife when you're in a fight with an my life. Fortunately for me, it does is sufficiently agitated.) 8) I think I'd like to be a grammar ex-boyfriend. Try it.) not refer to a menstrual cycle.) 8) I'll get back to you on that one when school teacher, and teach children 8) I want to be reincarnated as Britney 3) The voice of Lily Pons (She's the I've nailed down which one is actu- who are in thirdI or fourth, grade, --Spears. (Does that count?) most amazing early twentieth centu- ally my own right now. 9) I absolutely would never, under any 9) President of the United States ry opera singer; she hits high notes 9) Accountant (The numbers would circumstances, want to be a 10) C'mon girls! Do you believe in as easily as most people walk down drive me to drink.) research scientist. love? 'Cause I got something to the street.) 10) You know, that whole 'sin' thing? 10) I think I'd love for her say, She's sing about, and it goes something , 4) That awful panic noise which Funny joke wasn't it? Come on in. finally here! NOW we have a like this 1010WINS plays behind all their party! August 29, 2001 Features

Kristcn Sardis, Managing Editor Cynthia Rodriguez, Assistant Arts Editor 1) Brouhaha (Isn't it such a fun word Chloe Pashman, Assistant Commentary to say?) 1) Obnoxious Editor 2) Confused (I hate this word, and 2) Honas in short for honey Beata Loyfman, Arts Editor everything it stands for!! 1 just hate 3) The sound of music 1) Serendipity the dumb word.) 4) The blare of an alarm clock 2) Nervous 1) Passion 3) The sound of the ocean. It relaxes 5) Intelligence and passion 3) Ocean Waves 2) Ordinary/mediocre me. 6) Falsity 4) Alarm clock 3) Laughter/Madonna 4) A howling car alarm waking me up 7) Does Christ count? I say that a lot. 5) Intelligent, sophisticated gentlemen 4) Screams of torture/Nails on a from a beautiful sleep, and the At this school it probably counts 6) Boring, immature men blackboard sound of my alarm clock which per- otherwise, Fuck -, 7) Crap 5) Intelligence/Rock hard abs forms the same function as the car 8) Rock star (note: NOT pop star) is a 8) Maybe acting 6) Stupidity/Apathy alarm. little too obvious, so I'll say Travel 9) Anything with computers 7) Fuckin' + a word that works in the 5) A challenge. In every sense of the Agent. 10) That I lived my life to the fullest, context of the conversation word. Oh, and nice hands. 9) Anything governmental and helped make a difference in the 8) If we're talking about a pipe dream, 6) Ignorance, and feet 10) What are you doing here? Angels, world. then it would have to be a top level 7) Bitch send this one back! music/movie producer (i.e. the 8) A professional ballerina or a person people need to suck up to Broadway performer in order to get ahead in the enter- 9) Podiatrist tainment industry.) ' 10) There are a few people here I The Questions 9) Toll collector/NYC Board of Ed know you've been wanting to see. 1) What is your favorite word? employee. 2) What is your least favorite word? 10) See, I do exist. 3) What sound or noise do you love? 4) What sound or noise do you hate? 5) What turns you on? 6) What turns you off? 7) What is your favorite curse word? 8) What profession, other than your own* would you like t* attempt? 9) What profession would you absolutely not want to pursue? 10) If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

www.bubMtgumclub.com, Rita Brunelli, Photo Editor Katie Jennings, News Editor Josephine Trombino, Business Manager Marisa Flores, Online Editor 1) Contiguous 1) Amazing 2) No 1) Friendship 2) No l)Why 3) The ocean, and drums 2) Discrimination 3) The ocean 2) Bough i i • 4) A baby's cry 3) Music 4) The sound the computer makes 3) Drum beats 5) The right song 4) Christine Aguliara's voice when I do something wrong 4) Crickets 6) Filth 5) Laughter 5) Independence, intelligence 5) Dancing 7) Fuck • 6) Sexism •••• ,-.,,.,,.._™~.™~.,-~ - 6) Dependence, ignorance 6) Smoking --,.--—— 8) I'd like to be an animator 7) Fuck'n bitch 7) Fuck 7) Dammit 8) Tourism 9) Law 8) Educator 8) Teaching/Singer, if I could sing 9) Accounting 10) Welcome. Drinks and hors d'oeu- 9) Prostitute 9) Anything in the medical field 10) You did all right kid. vres are to the right help yourself! 10) Did you get the joke? 10) Well, it's hard to say really Commenta August 29, 2001 The Observer

Editor-in-Chief Paul Hagen

Managing Editor Kristen Sardis

News Editor Katie Jennings Why Ask Why Assistant NewsEditor Eric M. Andcrsson Commentary Editor Jennifer Sciavone

Ass. Commentary Editor Chloe Pashman By Paul Hagen finally graduated from school, he would be convinced that asking "Why?" will some- tired of teachers. Instead, he decided that how make them appear less intelligent, Arts Editor Beata Loyfman Once upon a time, there was a boy who he would become a teacher in order to despite the fact that one of the greatest lived in a far-off land of castles, long before encourage children to ask, "Why?" But his human minds to ever attend a school Assistant Arts Editor Cynthia Rodriguez the Euro was a currency or an ill-advised teachers were so sick of him and all his clearly saw that constantly asking prefix for Disney. This boy was generally questions that none were willing to recom- "Why?" is the only way to truly learn. Features Editor Lisa Larkin very quiet, except in one situation: when he, mend him for a teaching position. 1 dare you to follow Einstein's exam- Lauren Quigley didn't understand something, he would So for many years the boy worked in ple, to not let tradition or fear or even always ask, "Why?" an office, while at night he read book infuriated professors to prevent you Photography Editor Rita Brunelli "Why is the sky blue?" after book, answering the biggest from asking questions, to unlock the "Why does a magnet pull?" "whys" he could think to ask. Eventually potential of your mind. You will find Graphic Design Editor Carrie Lam "Why does gravity make things fall?" he answered so many "whys" that the that more professors will be grateful that Lisa Yim The boy attended a school where the teachers had to accept him because he you are actively trying to learn rather teachers quickly became exasperated by knew so much, and he was beginning to than sitting through every class, semi- Online Editor Marisa Flores all his question-asking. They presented change the way the entire world thought comatose, scribbling down notes about Business Manager Josephine Trombino information in class and expected the because he had answered so many things you don't understand. There will students to simply remember it and be "whys" that had never even been asked be professors who become infuriated by Faculty Advisor Dr. Elizabeth Stone able to repeat What they had been told before. your questions; continue to ask, assured when the time came for a test, but this You may have heard about him; his in the knowledge that you are forcing Graphics Advisor Dawn Eshelman little boy would ask, "Why?" Soon other name is Albert Einstein. them to be better teachers, breaking students began to ask, as well, and the Despite the fact that Einstein is now them of an age-old habit of laziness, teachers became especially infuriated celebrated rather than punished for his which dictates that in a classroom infor- Board of Advkon because the little boy would often know questions, his question-asking, teacher- mation goes from the front to the back. Julie Farin, Director of Marketing Veronis, the answers to the other students ques- infuriating years of school have not Time magazine named Albert Suhler ft Anociatei; Anthony Qiglio, tions. He been so curious and learned changed the fact that in this very school Einstein the person of the twentieth cen- Executive Editor, Drinki.com; Clarisel the answer to so many "whys" because you will sit,in rooms all year with stu- tury; you've got another 99 years of ask- Gonzalez, Reporter, Union Netfs & Sunday he had been asking for so long. Republican; Sean Gallagher, Producer, Online dents who are afraid to ask, "Why?" You ing "Why?" to get in the running for per- Science Section, The New York Times; Lynette You might think mat when this boy will attend classes where students are son of the twenty-first. Harrison.Publisher, W Magazine; Molina Harts, TV Producer, WBIS, Cassandra Hayes, Careers Editor, Black Enterprise; Vivian Lake, Reporter, Jersey Journal; Denise Holzka, Attorney; Mintzer & Sarowitz, Mina 10 Easy Steps to Becoming Ltndriscina, Business Reporter, Poughkeepsle Journal; Brian McDonald, Author, My Fathers Oun; Lori Majewski.Entertainment Editor, Teen People; Fran Brancatelli Marino.Editor, Petersons Guides, Inc.; Gary a New-Yawker Rosen,Vice President, LB Lipman Public Relations. by Christopher Roddy doorway at the next stop, getting in peo- York is the best place on earth, (b) ple's way as they try to get off. Therefore a New Yorker likes the best All members of the Fordham com- 1. Learn to talk the talk - You need to 5. Have EVERYTHING delivered - teams, (c) Best teams win many munity are welcome to submit letters to say things like:"Fugghedaboutit!" or Self-explanatory. From Chinese to championships, (d) Hence Yanks and the editor of The Observer, the indepen- "How you doooin'!" or "What are ya, Mickey Dee's to groceries to a roll of Giants. (I like the Mets and Jets, dent student newspaper of Fordham stoooooopid?" All about the O's. toi|et paper. Convenience is VERY always a sucker for the underdog. College at Lincoln Center, New York, 2. Become a vegetarian - The coolest thing New York. God bless the invention of Lately, the underdog is the sexier NY. Address all letters to the editor to: aside from a big, juicy, scrum-dittily- bicycles. choice. Just ask Sarah Jessica Parker.) Letters to the Editor umptious steak? Eating steamed aspara- 6. Manhattan vs. New York - An impor- And no matter what, we all unite for The Fordham Observer gus or a tres chic cobb salad. Meat is a tant test in nomenclature differentiation. the crummy Knicks and make fun of 113 West 60th St Room 408 faux-pas anywhere from 90th St. Manhattan IS: New York, the City, New the Liberty. New York, NY 10023 straight on down to the financial district. York City. People from out of town call 9. Sarah Jessica Parker - Sex and the Letters to the editor may also be sub- However, if you are in a borough, then the island Manhattan. Big no-no. City. You must know what is going mitted via campus mail and should be feel free to gorge yourself silly on Mad Manhattan is what New York is all on. You have to know the names: addressed to: The Observer, Rm., 408, Cow or Porky Pig. about. If you live in a borough, that is Charlotte, Miranda, Samantha, and Lowenstein. 3. Wear all black - 100 degrees outside? still oft times hip. But, Brooklyn is Carrie (Big and Steve also important Doesn't matter. Black -is the way to be Brooklyn and Queens is Queens. New names). You have to have a favorite. I he Ohsener is the independent, nol- cool even when it's hotter than Hades York? It means the city. Get it right or be (Bonus points for watching The ; ready for ridicule. Sopranos, but not as essential as fol- for-profil publication of l ordham outside. Why? I have no clue. I nhcrsity. I'ordluim College at lowing the sexual antics of four Something about looking streamlined 7. Bagel and a large Cafe au Lait • Lincoln Center. New York. New York. empowered Manhattanite women) and skinny. Personally, I will point and Whether plain or smothered in lox, I he opinions expressed in The laugh at the fashionably-sensible-but- bagels are breakfast. Starbucks? A 10. The Ptolemiac Theory - You are the Observer, including, but not limited to. grotesquely-sweaty-black-clad-person tough call. If we go the route of con- center of everything. New York is the those in articles, letters, editorials, as I wear my UNfashionable M.C. venience, then a frappachino from the center of the world. Everything graphics, photographs, headlines and Hammer jam pants and mesh tank top. chain that multiplies faster than revolves around you. Friends in suhheiidlines. and emioons. are those of Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em. Rainman is okay. If we go the route of Boston? They come to you; 4. The Subway Scene - Jam your way onto chic? Then you have to find that little Beantown has nothing on the Apple. of the I ditoridl Hoard or I'ordhain an overflowing sardine can subway car. cafe that is out of the way, but simply Late with a video rental? It's their I'niuT.Nil}. No purl of The Obsener "fabulous." Oh, and don't get lox. It's fault for not being closer to your Then, after you knock over a few elder- miiv be reproduced without the apartment. Waiter get your asparagus ly people and jam an elbow into a Girl v gross, and besides this is a cream csnressed. written consent of I lie Scoufs eye, turn to the person next to cheese town. Actually, a cream "wrong? Feel free to lambaste him in public. Fail a test? Tell your professor you and give 'em the "eyes." You know, cheese LITE town. .•neinl iiuiiiines s those icy eyes that say: "You could have 8. Mets vs. Yanks, Jets vs. Giants, but you are seeing a psychiatrist for some waited for the next one, you S.O.B. I always the Knicks - Queens and the personal problems (everyone in New aid. I ordhatu College til Lincoln hate you and I am more important than blue collar workers like the Mets and York has a therapist of some sort). liter. 11.1 West With Slreel. Koom you. Don't you dare touch me. That's Jets. Plus, they rhyme (see conve- You are now ready to be a New Yawker. S. Sew York. New York H>u2.i or right, look away and stop hogging the nience). Everyone else? Yanks and And piss off a whole hell of a lot of peo- pole!" Then, stand in the middle of the Giants. Follow this pattern: (a) New ple. Worried? Just fugghedaboutit. • Continental

A Commuter's When In Subway Manifesto Rome... will find yourself mustering up every last Take Notes bit of patience you have to endure listening to the endeavors of some false-toothed ByCWoePasbman stranger's grandchildren. It doesn't matter if little Bobby is going to be a doctor. Are you ' Top Ten Lessons Italians Could ever going to meet him? Teach Americans Please don't sing along with your disc man. Spare us- you are not Mariah Carey 10.) It is okay to smile at, or even speak and that Grammy is not on the way. The to those other people OR the street, in chances of a talent scout on board range Hie Iroe at the store, or near you in a from zero to non-existent. And lower the ' restaurant (yes, even if you don't, sound on that thing. Not that I care about know them). the fact that you will be deaf by your 9.) You do not need to eat too much 25th birthday, but the point of that beau- breakfast if you drink enough cap- tiful technology is that no one else needs puccino or espresso. to be subjected your individual taste of 8.) It is actually classier to stop drink- music. As it is, I am trying to read a chap- ing alcohol long before you've ter that requires massive amounts of con- thrown up. centration to keep from dozing off. I do 7.) It is acceptable, and even attractive not need an excuse to stop reading. when men wear close fitting, denim If someone rudely shoves you out of pedal pushers - trust me. Rita Brunelll their way so that they can catch the train 6.) Who needs crosswalks, stop lights, Enza Interligi Do everyone else a favor; keep as far away or get off at their stop at the last minute, etc.? Come on, live on the edge a from other riders as possible. be sure to push back even harder, unless little, huh? At the beginning of the new school Don't encourage an already too talkative they look like they can beat you to a pulp 5.) One does not need to charge $ 18 for year, it is important to reflect upon the homeless person by baiting him with pleas without hesitation. But if the odds are in a plate of pasta - when you remove last year and dispense what gems of to simmer down. Whether they are" preach- your favor, don't let some random person all of the artificial additives, the knowledge you've gathered to eager and ing, singing or scolding themselves, ignore get away with assaulting you. Otherwise price can be lowered to $6, awaiting freshmen. As a commuter from them. Not only will the culprit do the com- you will spend the rest of the day moan- 4) It is dangerous to one's health to be the boon docks of Brooklyn for three plete opposite of what you ask, but guess ing and complaining that some (insert too pale - take off work, and get- years now, 1 feel I have somewhat mas- what? You have just found yourself a friend expletive here) pushed you and you wish some sun already. tered the art of using our city's public , for the remainder of your commute. On the you had done something. If it all happens 3.) Always use fresh tnozzarella - it transportation system with only a mini- same note, don't check out the merchandise too quickly for you to react face to face, makes a real difference. mal number of horror stories to regale in the hobo's cart You will induce an attack give them an elbow from behind. Not "2.) Work to live but do not live to work my buddies with. Here I pass along some much like a mother lion protecting her cub. only will you let out your aggression, but - you really only need enough of my personal observations and warn- And really, don't steal from this person's you can then hide yourself "in a sea of money to buy gelato, and how ings to help you ride the subway shopping cart! I know we're college stu- other riders undetected. But don't try and many hours could that take? unscathed (and yes I have had personal dents, but... be Tony Soprano. While he is a made !,) Relax, have fun, and enjoy life. experiences with several of these). Don't ask a rhetorical question aloud. man, the rest of us are not immune from <(Stop and smell the roses," even if Do steer clear of any passenger who You are bound to be in earshot of some subway rage. Carefully walk this fine that takes 3 to 4 hours of "siesta comes aboard Grand Street displaying a busy body who will give you more unso- line and all will go smoothly. time" every afternoon. nail clipper. Warning: you will be pelted licited advice than you've ever needed or These are just a few of my own per- with either finger or toe nails. wanted. sonal recommendations that I hope prove As the Al Italia plane touched the Do slide over if you are seated in the Not under any circumstances should you to be somewhat useful. When commut- ground, I was shocked that most of the middle of a three-passenger bench and the smile or make definitive eye contact with a ing in New York, the Golden Rule must passengers broke into a round of joy- seat next to you is empty. Aren't we already senior citizen. They will chat up anything be pushed aside in favor of the survival ous applause. I knew the experience I too close to strangers on the subway as it is? with a pulse. Ignore this warning and you of the fittest. • was about to have in Italy would change me forever. After spending a month in Italy this summer with Fordham University, I realized how much we really do have to learn from this culture of relaxation and good spir- its, Whether strolling down the cob- blestone streets of Grvieto (a small, hilltop town which was our "home base" for the trip), through the dusty ruins of Rome, or in the cliffs of Capri, I encountered situations that chal- lenged my American attitudes. Basically, we need to "chill out," for lack of a better term, and stop rushing, worrying, dieting, and doing anything else that disrupts the natural flow of life. This must work, because 1 have never met more genuinely happy peo- ple than I did in Italy, Each person has a glow about him or her. That glow dis- appears when hurrying to an office on the subway, running with some fast- food breakfast in hand, while fending off rude shoves from other sleep-starved people. Instead, try to laugh, love, smile, nnd of course, e«ii, with your whole heart and soul. Appreciate beauty, kindness, patience, and serenity above money, status, success, and yourself. Believe me, I am a die-hard patriot who truly loves her country, but these Italians definitely know how to do it right. • Literary August 29, 2001 page 8 Welcome to the Observer's Literary Pages By Paul Hagen Center." With that mission in mind, it is my This premier edition of the Literary sented side-by-side as conversations privelege to introduce a new section: the Pages features short stories from three indi- through art and more. But the primary mis- Each new year brings a Observer Literary Pages. viduals who have contributed to the contin- sion of the Literary Pages will be to share new staff to the One of FCLC's defining characteristics uing formation of this new section, but the your work with the community. On behalf Observer, a new group is its population of creative individuals. section is not for the staff of the Observer or of the entire staff of the Observer, I encour- of men and women who Last year's plethora of achievement in the short fiction writers alone. This section is an age you to submit your work, whether you have taken on the area of creative writing, from the continued opportunity for the whole Fordham com- created it as part of a class or an extracur- responsibility to bring important news and proliferation of writing classes to the found- munity to share their work, whether it be in ricular project or simply for your own information about the Fordham community ing of Red Rover, FCLC's creative writing the form of an essay, a scene for the stage, a enjoyment Isn't it time you shared your and the world in which we live to you, our journal, made it clear to the editorial board poem, a work of short fiction, a photograph gifts with the whole Fordham community? readers. Each new staff marshals their talent that we could no longer call ourselves the or a sketch. If you'd like to submit a piece or if and dedication in an attempt to make this student voice of FCLC without giving a As the Literary Pages expand and grow you're interested in joining the staff of newspaper ever more clearly "The Student voice to the community of creative writers over this next year, they will be populated the Literary Pages, contact us at Voice of Fordham College at Lincoln in our midst as well. with new features: serial novels, pieces pre- L iteraryPages@yahao. com. • The Celebration

By Daniel Murphy with it. I guess I'll never know now, the hell are we supposed to do? I mean, with it cupped in his hands, his arms though -it's just this dead thing." all I wanted was some damn apples from extended out in front of him. They ^ The townspeople walked solemnly out "Well I don't know what to tell you. I my own damn tree. I wasn't looking for walked slowly .down his front walk into of the sweltering church into the still hot- ain't got a clue." He tilted his gaze and nothing like this ..." the commotion at the center of town, ter glare of the morning sun. Everyone continued, "It's got sort of a funny .shine He began whimpering quietly, his tears dripping off their faces. was cheerful despite the oppressive heat. to it. You know, you'd figure it'd be all head held high. He felt the density build "What's the matter there?" asked a Whatever was left of the day now dull and stuff from being dead out there in his chest as it seemed to cave in and man. "What you crying about? What you belonged to the people as they celebrated for however long it was," swell up all at once, as if suddenly over- got there in your hand?" the annual passing of their town's day of ''Yeah ... I can almost seejnyself in it, flowing with emptiness. A small crowd broke a^ay from the pride, Schopenshire Day. if I get up real close.... doddamnit, what From across the table, a voice finally attraction of the parade and gathered "Why weren't you in church?" he the hell could this thing be? It ain't like sounded: "Maybe someone outside around them. They all asked questions asked, walking in the open front door. nothing I've ever seen before in my knows." and whispered to each other until they His friend sat rigidly In a chair at the whole life - I just don't know." He lead the pair out the front door looked into his (continued on page 9) kitchen table looking closely at the thing The parade was gathering at the center of held cupped in his hands in the center of town, just outside the front door. All the the round wooden table. The blaring of townspeople were slowly moving from trumpets shot in the front door as musi- inside their houses to the street or to watch cians began tuning their instruments in the spectacle from their front porch. The HOW LATE the band shell set up in the middle of heat baked the pavement and dried up the town for the celebration. flowers and grass around the town. But the "I found something," his friend parade still coalesced energetically, and the IS THE replied, not removing his eyes from the band shifted their way around the band shell thing he held in front of him. excitedly. It was almost noon and the whole LIBRARY "What did you find?" he asked, event was to begin promptly at that time. pulling off his cap and wiping the sweat Both ignored the commotion and con- from his forehead with his flannel sleeve. tinued in vigil of the thing before them. It OPEN "I don't know," his friend answered. carried with it now an omnipotence tran- Puzzled, he walked closer to his friend, scending anything they may hope to bent over his shoulder and stared into his know about it. With every passing friend's hands. He moved his head closer, minute its significance grew along with TONIGHT? squinting his eyes slightly before walking their curiosity; but even more compelling around to the side of the table and sitting were the feelings of helplessness and down across from his friend, who remained ignorance that overcame them. The heat motionless, eyes fixed on the thing at the of the room and the weight of everything center of the table. happening around them pressed the "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever silence down and down . . . and as if seen," he said. "Is it dead?". being spared his drowning, the man hold- "I think so." ing the cause of it all gasped, and calmly Call 212-636-7400 They sat and stared some more, their spoke: mouths slightly open and their minds "I used to love finding things when I slightly closing. was a kid," he said, his gaze never for Quinn library hours, "So where did you find it anyway?" he wavering from the thing in his hands. asked. Sitting across the table, his friend did "Out back under my apple tree over not flinch with the comment, only stared circulation and reserve there. It was'just lying there. I haven't as well. been back in that part of the yard for so "What?" long because of the winter and all, but I "It usedjto be so nice, running all over information, Reference went to see if them apples was blooming the place looking for all sorts of things. yet; and there it was." Nowadays, you can't even look under "Maybe someone lost it." your own damn apple tree for fear of Services, and Walsh "Maybe; but why would it be in my finding one of these goddamn things you back yard?" ain't got no idea about." His hands shook "Well, it's got to turn up insomeone's slightly as he spoke and his face tight- and Law library hours. backyard.' ened, covered in red. "But I don't even know what it is. But across the table, there was no one Maybe if I at least had some idea about listening. what it as I could figure out what to do Tears began to form in his eyes. "What August 29,2001 Literary The Other End of the Line By Lisa de Ribere Larkiu By Brooke WhHIey , know a Secret about someone, h» did not thing, I 'represent f2'l"i?eWlM4a this want to seek them out His rules had been world who want$|>e The phone rang. It was my mother, - '"1don't goto sejc parties, the article is constructed slowly starting from the day he -Click- A:' again. implying way too much. It's being stereo- figured out how to tap into any phone line • " I could just tell Tell your father Im me, she said. typical* ifs like saying we heard this, in the building. It was pure curiosity that 1 am a very good liar* *% therefore we are totally going to put this drove Edgar to listen to other people's -Click- Tell your father Imme. He wants to in our article. Oh well I'm over it. How phone calls. He always wanted to know " I don't know what the Ik- know what I did with.,.me. are you? You're sick again? what other people said and did and how ing about" Put him on. A heaving sigh, Edgar clicked over; he had heard this they acted and what they wanted. He loved •Click- Hello? conversation before. All night she had people, not in one-on-one situations but as " He was a photography student sjie Dad, youre freaking Mom out. been complaining about some article that «n observer. There was something in him, a wanted help/* What are you doing? she'd been in. It seemed to be almost force a little beyond shyness that had -Click- I dont know where Mommy is. Do rehearsed, by midnight Edgar had com- always kept him in the comer. When he "I love typing" you know where she is? pletely lost interest in her. His round fin- was a child Edgar would find a spot on the This had been night in montj I took a deep breath. Someone was gers held the hand-written list of phone grass on the corner of the playground a spot not one interestini Each word sledging a hole in my wall from the numbers he allowed himself to listen to. where he could just watch everyone around to make Edgar's head hurt, he i next apartment. I was having trouble 338-7529 was, on most nights, the most him. What he was doing now was not all to talk about something, something he < hearing my fathers voice. interesting number on his list, a girl lived that different about. He tried each number, holding Mommy? Whose Mommy? there; she was 24. He knew the girl's At first he had felt guilty and soft trick- breath as two new voices started ffi Mommy. name was Jenny, or Jen, every once in le down his spin when he got into eleva- Nothing, Nothing, from his window seat he Adeem head looked through the hole. awhile Jennifer. He knew a lot about this tors with people he might have listened to, had heard some nights he had too I was not sure if there was a whole deer girl, but nothing too personal. but now he had gone beyond even think- many stori .from, but now nothing, attached to it, but I was mighty impressed Edgar had been listening to conversa- ing about or trying to rationalize his His list had efe out. He went back to mat it could wield a sledgehammer like tions at The Crawford Suites and Luxury behavior. He loved listening, being a Jen's call her speak out for that Condos for almost five years. He i small part of these lives going on around her gen id kfp% wondering to The phone rang again. How could complicated list of rules, a kind of him. He cried for dead relatives, and better nighi ibered the night Jen the phone ring while I was using it? guide for your amateur spy. His I laughed at dirty jokes told between 12- first moved ie ta|ked to herjnoth- It was Madonna Oh, no. I had noth- was togbang up on business calls ; year-old boys, but mostly he listened with er about me in the Building sh|piad ing to tell her yet, and I had promised her thing Iffging on phone sex imme a strange detachment able to pull himself met. She h^'not &Iked ab^ut hinifshe had Id check if Carnegie Hall was available > tried to stay away from I away from the feelings by hanging up the never seerf him. He had |een her, recog-i on die 18th. I was gonna blow it e days the harsh ring of the nized her by her voice ^% Wrig!' Tell me, tell me! Is it good? her way. He wag i Madonna chirped. •[one of his liries?i Well, I...uh...!m waiting for them to call me back about the pineapple, I KM* CLICK, stalled. The pineapple! It was ray father. He was a pineap- ple. , 1 forgot to tell you about that. The The Celebration pineapple was full of yellow stuff (continued from page 8) inside and the outside was prickly, sticky and brown. Madonna knew just hands and then they fell silent for a what I meant. period and just stood in rapture at the But Wrigley, 1 want the pineapple. I tms sight of the thing none knew anything have Meryl Streep and Olga Malaga, about. and I have to have the pineapple! t Deli The trumpets began yelling from the I dont know if we can risk it He cant bandstand and men in white hats find Mommy and shes right there next to .on columbus smiled at women in white dresses, all him. Will people buy tickets to hear a clapping softly as the parade route pineapple recite My Boy Bill? passed. Cheer was everywhere. The deer was almost through the The smaller crowd was roused from wall now, and for the first time 1 could their hypnotic state and returned to see' it had a body and balanced some their whispering, but much slower and really beautiful stemware on its back, much more grave speech was passed The crystal was catching light like around. Soon, people could be seen crazy, and suddenly, the brilliants were passing handkerchiefs to one another searing out of the early night of a win- and women putting their sobbing heads ter sky, like a constellation. But it was into men's shoulders. He stood there not a constellation I had ever seen stoically, holding it out in front of him before, not even at the planetarium. - never flinching as the crowd grew We-Marty and I~were staring up at larger. The trumpets played on. these lights while leaning forward on Soon, the entire town had seen and one of the big rocks in Central Park. were languidly moving under the heat of Everyone else nearby was transfixed the day, consoling each other for pains heavenward. It had the feel of an they knew nothing about. Men shook omen, this sighting. I looked at Marty. their fists in the air, as if. angered with He wasnt looking like himself tonight. 212 307-0115 everything. Children watched the produc- In fact, he looked like all the other tion with frightful confusion, and women Martys I knew, but not like himself were beginning to get down on their Then I saw it and knew it could get knees and pray to God to take away this messy. Out of the east came a monstrous Free Delivery sadness that filled their chests with cloud like a long, thick cottonball sliding depravity; to tell them what it was that serpentine toward us. Out of the east was doing this to them; to offer some- This was no Messiah, I was almost sure. 27 Columbus Ave thing, anything, that may bring down the Oh, boy, I said, Now were gonna get New York, NY 10023 swelling of the emptiness inside them. it. This is not what 1 planned. 1 have They prayed to God to relieve this pain to wake up. whose source no man could describe. I began making those impotent All remained unaware as the prayers screams one makes with a mouth sewn swirled with the music around the sky, shut and a body fully paralyzed. spreading throughout the heat over the Mooo...mooo,..nah,..eeeee... —Corporate Catering " entire town, and finally falling on the This poor pineapple couldnt make Corporate Charge Accounts deaf ears of a tiny God, dead in the itself heard. It couldnt wake up. Not hands on of the man that found him fall- even for a beautiful deer with Welcomed en underneath his apple tree. • stemware. - • Arts & Culture August 29,2001 page 10 Broadway's Burial Ground: Are The Producers to Blame For This Season's Closings?

By Christopher Kuczewski

When the 2000-2001 Broadway season got on its feet last fall, it looked as if Broadway was going to have a well-need- ed resurgence. Highly anticipated new musicals, a few revivals, and even some straight plays were destined to bring crowds of people swarming to the theatre. Then along came The Producers, casting a shadow upon all other musicals of the sea- son and creating a hype that hadn't been heard since The Lion King. But The Producers was not the only reason why Jane Eyre King Hedley some shows were forced to close this past Tom Sawyer Courtesy of Suosslcal Courtesy of King Hedley Courtesy of Tom Sayer season. Although the critics felt The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was charming and had a celebrities into the show—talk show host The producers—who had kept faith in The Producers, The Full Monty, 42nd colorful and imaginative design, they also Rosie O'Donnell, teen pop star Aaron their show from the very beginning— Street, and The Rocky Horror Show. Why felt it was bland and lacked a strong score. Carter, and Olympic gymnast and closed Jane Eyre on June 10,2001, a week did these four particular shows survive? One of Tom Sawyer's major problems was Broadway star Cathy Rigby. The presence after the Tonys. It lasted six months on Well, it's obvious that The Producers is an that it played in one of the largest theatres of these celebrities allowed the show to Broadway. unstoppable phenomenon. With Mel on Broadway—the Minskoff. As com- survive for a little while. Nevertheless, a August Wilson's King Hedley II opened Brooks', Matthew Broderick's and Nathan pared to other theatres such as the shortage of Tony nominations—only one to mixed reviews late in the season. As Lane's names attached to it, not to mention Nederlander, seating 1189, and the Eugene for Kevin Chamberlain (Best Actor in a with most straight plays, Hedley was not a record win of 12 Tony Awards, it isn't O'Neill, "1108, filling the Minskoffs 1685 Musical), who played Horton the advertised or given much attention. difficult to see why The Producers aren't seats proved to be an insurmountable chal- Elephant—forced the show to close on Musicals usually get all the attention while suffering from lack of cash flow. The Full lenge. Audiences didn't flock to Tom May 20, 2001. It lasted five months on straight plays are left in the background. Monty has the fame of its preceding movie Sawyer as they did to the more popular Broadway. The presence of well-known actors such as « version to ride on—not to mention what its shows of the season, leaving many empty Jane "Eyreopene d early in the season to Brian Stokes Mitchell and Leslie Uggams title has to offej. 42nd Street is a flashy seats in the Minskoff. Had the show rather good reviews. The critics particu- somewhat helped to promote the show, as dance show with a good reputation (that is, played in a smaller venue, perhaps it larly liked Maria Schaffel in the title role. djJgBestJEeaturedActress in a Play Tony the reputation created when it was first on would have survived. But, unfortunately, Most critics even said that Schaffel was a AwarcfTor Viola Davis,. Nevertheless, Broadway years back). The Rocky Horror Tom Sawyer closed within weeks of its leading contender for the Best Actress in a Hedley was not raking in the dough. The Show has a cult-following and world-wide opening—on May 13,2001. Musical Tony Award. When Schaffel was show closed on July 1,2001, having spent popularity. (Is there anyone out there who Seussical's road to Broadway was lit- finally nominated, things looked hopeful only, two months on Broadway. hasn't done "The Time Warp"?) So, tered with potholes. After receiving harsh for Jane Eyre, which had been suffering These shows were not the only to close what's in store for Broadway in the future? reviews in Boston, the show came to New from low ticket sales. The show had even after short runs on Broadway this past sea- Will shows continue to close as in this past York—with members of its creative team been set to close, first on May 20, then on son. The revivals of Bells are Ringing and season? Well, closings are inevitable and dropping out (or even being asked to May 27. Thanks to a generous grant from Follies closed within months of opening short runs happen all the time. However, leave) and new producers coming on rock star Alanis Morissette—a friend of (even though Follies was supposed to be a the 2001-2002 Broadway season might board. Despite the numerous changes to the show's composer, Paul Gordon, and a limited engagement to begin with). The actually come out with more winners than the show and its creative team, the New fan of the show—its producers decided to new musical A Class Act also closed short- losers—at least, we all hope so. Then York critics tore Seussical apart, claiming allow it to run past the Tony Awards to see ly after its opening night. All suffered again, we all hoped that would happen for it lacked depth and tried to incorporate too if ticket sales would improve. Award night from lack of ticket sales, lack of Tony the 2000-2001 season...therefore, in the many Dr. Seuss stories into one storyline. came and Schaffel lost to 42nd Street's Awards, and, of course, the critics. words of the ill-fated Seussical, In order to keep the show running, Christine Ebersole—certainly one of the In a positive light, four musicals that "Anything's possible!" • Seussical's producers brought a few most surprising losses in Tony history. opened this past season are still running: Radiohead 'Creep's Up On Madison Square Garden

By: Edwina Hay nally planned a tour itinerary and I already "complaint rock," (the technical term sang directly into it playfully. The stage scored tickets to see one of their shows in coined in the 1995 movie Clueless). I am lighting was impressive; especially during On August 7, 2001, I finally did what New Jersey. Then this show was convinced they knew I was finally a part certain songs like "Paranoid Android." I've wanted to do for a few years now: I announced and I decided that I must see of the audience because they began with The set list was composed of saw Radiohead in concert. I can count them at "the world's most famous arena." my favorite song from last year's release Radiohead's last four releases {Pablo how many times they've played a venue in This concert was presented by KROCK Kid A, (you know, that album without Honey was totally ignored). They also New York and I wasn't there. Thankfully, (WXRK FM), who, last time I checked, guitars that confused everyone) "The managed to squeeze in a few b-sides like the gods above (they're commonly known only plays "Creep" once in a blue moon National Anthem." That's track number "Talk Show Host." Since they played a as Ticketmaster) allowed me to attend this and that song is soooo 1993. three for those who don't like to learn the number of songs from their last two releases, instruments that I didn't know special show. You see, Radiohead origi- Anyway, I arrived to the Garden and names of songs. The following song, existed were used by the band to create missed half of The Beta Band's short set. i "Morning Bell" slowed things down after extraordinary sounds. Throughout the walked in and they were playing "Dry The the rhythmic assault of "Anthem." Oh, course of the show, Yorke managed to Rain." It's that catchy song from the how the crowd squealed when the first make only three dedications: one to the movie, High Fidelity that plays in the store few notes of "Karma Police" were birth of the electric car, another to the G8 to customer approval. The next opening strummed on Yorke's acoustic guitar. protestors in Genoa, and the last to act was Canadian DJ, Kid Koala. Throughout the show, 1 noticed that Michael Stipe. He also did an interesting Although he put himself down by suggest- Radiohead decided to make their concert little dance during "Idioteque" and I doubt ing that people visit the merchandise booth visually entertaining as well as musically I will ever find the words to describe it. while he was on stage, many people stuck compelling. Two large screens, on each The crowd at Madison Square Garden around and applauded his entertaining side of the stage, projected images of the was lucky enough to get not one, not two, turntable theatrics. band performing. There was even a cam- but three separate encores. When the era with a fish-eye lens in the piano and Then the time came for the headliner: show was finally over and I had to bid the would focus on either Greenwood or Yorke five guys named Phil Selway, Colin English quintuplet farewell, I immediate- Greenwood, Thorn Yorke, Jonny when either man sat down to play. This (from left to right, Jonny ly began the countdown to my next Greenwood and Ed O'Brien from Oxford, camera became really effective during Greenwood, Phil Selwiy, Ed O'Brien, Colin Radiohead experience. • Gretflwood •nd Thorn Yorkc) England who made the world safe for "You and Whose Army?" because Yorke http:ffwww.followniMround.aoni August 29, .2001 Arts & Culture page 11 Sade: A Smooth Operator in NYC

Applications are now being accepted for the Dean's and Ully Hirsch Scholarships for adult students at Lincoln Center for academic year 2001-02. Eligibility requirements are as follows:

Continuing adult-entry undergraduate students registered in FCLC and FCLS, 21 years and older, who have established a B average (3.0) or better, have completed at least 12 credits at Fordham by the end of the fall 2000 semester and who plan to register for a minimum of 12 credits over the course of the scholarship year.

Applications are in the English Department, room 924.

The deadline for applying is March 9.

Sade www.son

By Beata Loyfman done barefoot with little regard for a dirty In the current morass of new recording floor or costume changes. The focus of artists, many of whom are not even old the evening was undoubtedly the voice. enough to see American Pie 2, surviving There were no special effects, no trapeze the fast paced world of the entertainment artists, no pyrotechnics, just Sade, two industry can be tricky. Doing so for back up singers and the musicians (who twenty years is even trickier. Doing so switched instruments with unpretentious for twenty years with hardly any main- alacrity). Kaplan stream success or promotion is nearly "If you can survive here, you can impossible. Can you really see Mandy make it anywhere" humbly said Sade Moore being anything but a glimmer of after an overcome crowd gave her yet the past in year 2020? On Wednesday another standing ovation. She dedicated August 15th one woman showed NYC a song to her little girl and to her mother, gets you in. that it is indeed possible. Sade brought "the best dressed woman in here." her Lovers Rock tour for only two dates Because of her warm, honest persona, to MSG and anyone who did not see it the atmosphere of the concert changed. should be kicking himself* A relaxed freedom came over everyone. College Law School Business School Spawned by the overwhelming suc- People sang along to their favorite songs, cess of her latest album—which landed danced, threw flowers and enjoyed every Graduate School Medical School on the Billboard 200 number 2 spot in its moment of Sade. She held the attention first week and stubbornly refused to of the audience for the duration of the leave even without a major promotional show and it was easy to spot the multi- campaign or appearances on Oprah—the tudes of men gazing at her hungrily. At Classes * Online Courses * Books * Software Lovers Rock tour showcases Sade's best 42, Sade radiates sexiness far beyond known songs. Utilizing only her voice that of Britney or JLo. and versatile band, Sade enraptured her After the last song, the crowd stood adoring fans with classics such as cheering for nearly 5 minutes. Finally, Classes are filling fast, so call or "Smooth Operator," "Diamond Life," Sade returned to do one last song and it "Jezebel" and "Sweetest Taboo." If felt like MSG would explode with visit us online today to reserve your seat! you've never been to a Sade concert excitement. She warmly thanked NYC before, you may not know the sheer and introduced her band. It felt like she power of her voice. It rivals that of lead- was allowing us into her family. The ing divas Mariah, Celine and especially audience was so entranced by her, that no Whitney. Fortunately, Sade is far too KAPLAN one noticed 'N Sync sliding into or out of classy to be associated with the likes of their seats right next to my own. Well, these spoiled princesses. almost no one noticed. I had to shove JC Dressed in a simple Asian inspired aside to get to my seat, I wondered if _.. I-JBO-KAP-TESI dress, Sade cooed to her audience, wrap- they were here to grab some pointers kaptest.com ping her silky voice around every note from Sade's "less is more" approach to with perfect comfort and ease. After the performance. Probably. In any case, Tost Prep, Admissions and Guidance. For life. first song, her tall stiletto shoes were aside from that little encounter, it was a tossed aside and the whole concert was magical evening. • MHI im m ttjttmt Mm«li» * *» mtmtm am Arts & Culture August 29,2001 Made in England: Living in Cyn: The 'N Sync Concert Almost *N Sucks

Introducing Karen Ramirez www.nytftcxom By Cynthia Rodriguez A. It just happened. We recorded it in Naples in the summer and there was fan- Summer isnt complete without an *N tastic weather, really good food. What Sync concert-at least not for me. The. came out was a result of a lot of fun. The bbys^ err, men, failed to hit New York guys that I worked with — a company of City in their travels, so I made the journey three Italian guys called Souled Out — to Washington, D.C.'s RFK Stadium to they similarly influenced me as well. I catch the guys' self-proclaimed "biggest like a lot of different types of music. I like show ever" and see if it was all that it was Latin, dance, jazz, rock soul, funk — promised to be. everything. Except for things like Kylie I paid sixty-five dollars for my ticket to Minogue. I'm not really into pop. Like sit on the floor all the way at the back of the Spice Girls. the field. So, I could see...the screen. Q. So you didn't have tickets to see Having attended several *N Sync concerts Madonna this summer? in the past, I admit to having high expec- A. I like Madonna - that's different. I tations. . After three mediocre opening think Madonna's on a different level than acts, a trailer for Lance Bass and Joey the Spice Girls, [laughs] Fatone's new movie On the Line, and a Q. Indeed. How did you team up with forty-five minute intermission, the "pop Souled Out? odyssey" finally began. A. I met them through a guy who pro- The guys started with a bang by enter- duces some stuff with them. I did a lot of ing on an elevated platform in the middle writing when I came back to London — I of the stadium singing "Pop," the catchy concentrated on writing. And I wrote an hit from their latest album Celebrity. album with them before [Distant (Note: I could actually see them at this Dreams]. I workshopped "Troubled Girl" point) It was followed by a medley of with them, which was the first song that 1 earlier.hits ("Tearin' Up My Heart," "I wrote. That's the song that I got the Want You Back," etc.) and a mixture of [record] deal on. songs from Celebrity, as well as their last Q. Your album is good chill-out album No Strings Attached music. Light, relaxing. What was it like to The show was good, but not great hear your songs as hard dance remixes? Though myriad special effects were pre- A. It was a bit of a shock at first, sent, and clearly excited the mostly pre- [laughs]. You're thinking, "Oh my god." pubescent female audience, I still felt that Then you get accustomed. I like them. I something was missing. Did the use of really like them. I see it as part of the eye-popping props like me Velcro walls MCA Coporation process. It first has to go to the dance during "Up Against the Wall" or the enor- Looking for Love: Karen Ramirez clubs. That's where they test it. mous mechanical bulls ridden during By Eric M. Andersson and "Looking for Love" in England. And Q. Is it safe to say that your parents "Space Cowboy" detract from,the show? the remix of her single "Looking For being musicians influenced you to I didnt think so. Perhaps it was the addi- When you think of British musicians, Love" experienced some success in the become a musician yourself? tion of female dancers? The thirty-some- certain artists come to mind. Elton John. States earlier this year - it hit the top of A. Yeah. My mum's a piano teacher . thing-guy standing next to me certainly Dido. The Beatles. Maybe the Spice Girls Billboard's club play chart. Currently, and my dad used to be a percussionist. didnt think so. Then what was off? if you're in a campy mood. But chances she's writing another album and ponder- They were both dancers as well and they " Not until the second of several lengthy are you don't think of Karen Ramirez. ing the idea of a U.S. tour. toured Europe. That's how they made a video interludes did 1 realize what was The British-born daughter of two We recently caught up with the 30- living before they had us kids. So I grew missing from this particular Tsf Sync show Trinidadian musicians, Ramirez recorded year-old-singer("I look like I'm 16!" she- up with a lot of stories about them touring that made it less enjoyable than the oth- her debut album, Distant Dreams, in quips) on her cell phone while she was Europe. It sounded like an exciting life to ers-the dancing. Though all of the props, 1999. And thanks to MCA Records, it moving between flats. Ramirez took time have. lights, and pyrotechnics were, indeed, makes its way to this side of the pond out from packing to talk about her album, Q. Did they encourage you to pursue .spectacular, they did seriously detract come October. Her simple, thoughtful coming out to her mom and her love of all a career in music? from the show since they were used in lyrics and sultry, ambient vocals, which music — except the Spice Girls. A. They encouraged me to be musical. place of dance moves. At past shows have been compared to that of Sade, just Q. Your single, "Looking For Love," And then when I decided I wanted to sing there was a full dance with each song, might propel her to onto the "It" list the is a cover of an Everything but the Girl professionally, I think they were a little save the slow ones. In this concert I can only remember about four songs where "N Sync danced the whole time. . This show seemed to have more filler "I like a lot of different types of music. I like than anything else. The guys are getting old, though. Chris Kirkpatrick is thirty- something, for Christ's sake! I suppose Latin, dance, jazz, rock soul, funk — everything. his aging joints can only handle so much at this point Perhaps they had to choreo- graph accordingly. I dont know. Not to Except for things like Kylie Minogue." worry, however. Judging by the amount of singing he, Lance, and Joey do on Celebrity, it won't be long before it way Dido was last year. song. How did you come to record that? bit worried [laughs]. I think they would becomes the JC and Justin show and then Ramirez, born in England and raised in A. I've always been a fan of theirs and have preferred if I took a sort of nine-to- maybe he can have a break. Trinidad, moved back to London when- I really love what they do. I think that five, normal job. I think that they think •• . But let me be serious for a moment she was 18. The tales of her parents tour- they are definitely the best of dance it's safer. Something I do know is that the show has ing Europe as dancers tempted her to music — but even the stuff they did Q. How about coming out to them. lost some of its intimacy. *N Sync barely pack up and move: "I always wanted to before, the acoustic stuff. I love Tracey What was that like? - even spoke to the audience except to say come back," she says of where she was- Thorn's lyrics. So I heard the song and A. I came out to my parents like 6 "Hello D.C." They seemed more con- born. "And then when I came back I felt recorded it. We sent it to them and they years ago. I think my mum kind of knew cerned with how big the show could be, really at home, I love it here, even though liked it. really. It Wasn't a shock; it was a shock than what the audience might truly enjoy. the weather is horrible," she laughs. Q. The whole album is an eclectic mix accepting it, but she kind of knew. Her Though fun was had at RFK Stadium After receiving a degree in commercial of jazz, pop, calypso and Latin music, dream of me was to get married to some that night, *N Sync should slow down a music from the University of Harrow, When you recorded Distant Dreams, did guy or something. She hopes I'm gonna bit, take a step back, and stick to what cat- Ramirez recorded Dreams, which you set out to make that mix, or did take meet the right guy one day. [laughs] I still apultcd them into fame in the first spawned the hit singles "Troubled Girl" shape on its own? have to tell her that's not gonna happen.! placer- rowdy singing and dancing.. • August 29,2001 Arts & Culture

Warped Rallies Randalls Island Madonna Takes Her Drowned World to New Heights

By Beata Loyfman were froin Music and Ray of Light, her lat- est releases. She made it a point to stay On Friday August 10th Madonna away from doing a Greatest Hits type of brought to her Drowned World tour to the tour. Exceptions were made for "Human eager citizens of Washington DC. Since Nature," "Secret," "La Isla Bonita" and all NYC dates sold out in minutes and it "Holiday". But no one at the MCI Center was easier to buy a child bride on the was complaining that night. Of course internet than score Ebay tickets to these what any Madonna-phile knows is that the shows, I reluctantly shelled out $325 to music is often secondary to the style, tech- the scalpers plus $90 bus tickets en route nical ingenuity, dancing and energy of Her for DC to attend what is rumored to be Highness's stage shows. Madonna used Maddies' last tour ever. Frankly, I never every element at her disposal to draw the believe the gossip columns when it comes audience into her "drowned world." to the Pop Icon because she always man- Various sized screens enveloped the stage ages to outwit their speculation, but it's depicting images appropriate to each of always better to be safe than sorry. the four parts of the show. During So I weathered the six and a half hour "Nothing Really Matters" Madonna, in a ride (if you can call driving 10 miles an black wig and geisha outfit with 50 ft long hour during a torrential monsoon a "ride") sleeves, surrounded by undulating dancers Henry Rollins performs at the 2001 edition of the Vans Warped Tour Edwina Hay in eager anticipation of Madonna's brain- suspended upside down from the ceiling child. After running frantically around an as the stage smoldered in a voluptuous red By: Edwina Hay disappointment, 69 Degrees were the vic- unfamiliar city, I entered the MCI Center glaze, was the epitome of power. The tors and no midgets were involved. along with scores of fans who ranged sleeves, as well as the outfit, flew off and On Saturday, August 4, 2001, I ven- 2:50PM: I run over to the second from excited to, well, I am not sure what a Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon chase tured to this year's edition of the Vans stage to watch Flogging Molly. I'm real- to call someone who comes to a Madonna ensued. Madonna flew across the stage as Warped Tour. Over 30 bands played four ly pleased that they've graduated to the concert wearing a Madonna circa 1986 T- nimbly as Ang Lee's protagonists only to separate stages- throughout the course of main stage (they were on one of the small shirt and matching jacket, gold cowboy be chased by a sword wielding Samurai nine hours. ' In addition to watching stages last year) and have a bigger crowd. hat with cowboy boots and pink feather warrior. She overcame the attack and in numerous bands, bikers and skateboard- Singer/guitarist Dave King congratulates boa, holding a "Happy Birthday - the most honest gesture of the evening, ers, the annual outing also offered our fine city for finally giving them Washington Loves U" sign and leading ripped off the black wig to reveal the Incredibly Strange Wrestling and Reverse Guinness for the first time on the tour. another Ciccone wannabe by a leather dog familiar blonde underneath. Day Care, an air-conditioned tent where With beers in hand, they play songs from leash. To each his own. I finally found The next section was the audience kids could leave their parents while they their latest cd, Swagger, such as "Selfish my seat (in the swanky 100 section thank favorite. Madonna, along with her band moshed the day away to their favorite Man" and "The Likes of You Again" and you very much) and began to wait. Two of outlaws, did some damage to the all bands, without being embarrassed by boy, there's nothing like singing along to sweltering hours later (it seems Madonna American western ideal. A rousing dear old dad. Armed with a few dollars, drinking songs at three in the afternoon! CANNOT have the AC working during "Don't Tell Me" ended with Madonna a camera, earplugs and my watch, this is 3:20PM: Kool Keith performs. By her shows since that would interfere with riding a large mechanical bull and talking how I spent my day at this annual festival. the time Kool Keith arrives on stage, all her vocal-prowess) the crowd was practic- in a new Suthern gal drawl. Immediately 10:45AM: I arrive to Randalls Island photographers were kicked out of the area ing The Wave for the 12th time. Ms. M following her disappearance into the and wait in line until doors open at 12PM. by security. His set consisted of mostly was apparently stuck in the same storm I shadows, three couples emerged to per- 12:05PM-12: 40PM: Wait in front of new material from his latest cd endured earlier and had to delay her form an expert simultaneous tango lead- a trailer to gain press pass and ticket. I Span/master. However, classics from his- extravaganza—so you mean she doesn't ing up to my favorite part of the show. quickly grow tired of waiting. catalog such as "Blue Flowers," "Sex control everything? Madonna and "her dancers created an 12:45PM: After having my bag Style," "Poppa Large" and "Girl Let Me Suddenly, all the lights extinguished atmosphere of a small Spanish cafe" com- searched and my ticket stub torn off, I Touch You" made me happy; very happy. simultaneously leaving a roaring crowd in plete with acoustic guitars and incredible finally gain admission into the park and 3:50PM: For some reason unknown the dark. Music's "Impressive Instant" Flamenco dancing. Changed into black find out AFI is performing. Sadly, my to me, Pennywise performs really early .began the show. Madonna flew out from pants, a backless top, bare feet and a sim- hunger overpowered my desire to see this and it doesn't slow the crowd surfers underneath the stage wearing a British ple hair bun, Madonna played and sang band play. I browse the concession stands down one bit. I think I'm too bothered punk/Scottish kilt/white trash number to the beautiful "La Isla Bonita" while danc- and settle on a Philly cheese steak, fries that they were on so early to truly enjoy the exultation and relief of the audience. ing with partners of both sexes. The and a smoothie, and listen to the remain- them. Last time they were on this tour, She followed with several other, songs small scale, relaxed mood was a perfect der of their set. Thankfully, they end with they went on right before Suicidal such as "Drowned World/Substitute for complement to the largeness of the rest of "Totalimmortal" and I'm there to see it. Tendencies! However, 1 did manage to Love," "Sky Fits Heaven," "Frozen" and the show. 1:00PM: Walk around and peruse the like "Fuck Authority," a single from Land "Ray of Light" from her previous studio The big finale was an updated many merchandise tents. I end up pur- of the Free? that caused a free show they release. In the same set, "Beautiful "Holiday" and the encore was chasing a Me First and the Gimme did to be shut down by the police. Stranger" made an appearance to the "Music"—a whirlwind of energy culmi- Gimmes shirt for $12, and another shirt 4:20PM: One of the bands I was the delight of the younger audience members nating in a rain of shine that fell upon the and $6 cd from the Rancid table. I final- most excited for (mainly because I missed (such as the 7 year old girl sitting in front entranced audience. By this point, we ly locate the Epitaph Records tent and them last time they were in town), The of me). A newly discovered passion, had been taken through an overwhelming find out I have to fill out a form to get a ' Vandals, took the stage at a time that made Madonna did quite a bit of guitar playing excursion of the senses and "could handle free bag filled with stickers when they've me giggle. Their guitarist, Warren during practically all of the songs and that no more. All in all it was an exceptional been handing them out freely for years! I Fitzgerald, made their set one of the most same little girl was terrified as she jumped show and towards the end, I had forgot- quickly blame corporations for this impo- enjoyable of the day. The Vandals play up on a platform during an especially hard ten how much time and money it took for sition (Launch and Target presented songs such as "Oi to the World" (although rocking solo while screaming "F&%k you me to see it. Few performers have come Warped this year) and fill out the damn we have four months to go until Motherf%&$#rs!" The concert should close to Madonna's impeccable ingenu- form anyway. Christmas), "I Have A Date," "People That probably have come with a Parental ity, style, and smarts. I won't even men- Warning label. tion the ridiculous arm muscles Ms. 1:45PM: Jimmy Eat World is per- Are Going to Hell," and their ode to mul- Ciccone has been sporting lately. • forming and I miss the majority of their lets, "I've Got an Ape Drape." During the Most of the songs Madonna delivered set. I watch them for a few minutes and end of their set, Mr. Fitzgerald dances (if I decide the time has come for me to watch can call it that) which is pretty amusing. people beat each other up. He also tucks his shirt into his shorts and 2:00PM: I watch Incredibly Strange climbs on top of a speaker before they Wrestling, which is based on^Lucha leave the stage. Libre, a Mexican style'of wrestling. 4:50PM: Less Than Jake performs and Tortillas are passed out to those near the I decide to take a break and finally check ring and are thrown at the wrestlers. out the press/backstage area. Not much That's right, they encourage throwing going on and I finally pick up a schedule food at the wrestlers! As a result of time of the day's events. constraints, I can only watch one match. 5:10PM: I find out Alien Ant Farm is The match teams the Mexican Viking and performing on the Vblcom stage by acci- the hairy Macho Sasquatcho. The popular dent. I watch them perform their single duo Is teamed to wrestle a Scientologist "Movies" and leave before they start boy band called 69 Degrees. Much to my their cover of (continued on page 14) Arts & Culture August 29,2001 page 14 How Hot Was Ifour Summer? By Beata Loyfman result of a last minute attempt at an knocking on your door tomorrow. You 3. When a resourceful friend mentions internship. have to be aggressive, meet people, even Ahh, the lazy hazy days of summer. A that her boss (who just happens to be c) stroll in along with the other under- take a humiliating stint as a coffee bearing time to just sit back, pop open a bottle of on the board of an up and coming grads cause you only have 4 more gopher in one of those nasty conglomerates Corona (or a more age appropriate drink) company) needs a personal assistant, credits to complete for that bachelors in order to get anywhere in the cutthroat and let the stress of finals melt away along you: NYC job market. Unless "You want fries with the condensation. Yeah right! In this a) fax and email your resume and cover 7. In 5 years what will you be called by with that?" is sufficient as your calling day and age, any college student with a letter ASAP, then call to confirm their your associates: card? modicum of professional ambition knows receipt a) Dr. that summer is the season for hand shaking, b) rush down to the office with your Palm b) Sir/Ma'am If you score 14-19 you are: On Track to ass kissing, connection making, zero pay- Pilot, lap top,, and organizer in hand, c) Mom/Dad Career Gold. ing internships at companies we hope to be storm the office of said bigwig, and So you've managed to find yourself a running in 20 years. For some the summer demonstrate that you are absolutely 8. If you didn't get the kind of experi- decent internship (even if it does include ends up being more stressful and relevant the best person for the job ence/offer/salary that you expected picking up the boss's dry cleaning), but you than the actual school year, while others c) laugh at the poor chap who would this summer, it's because: also savor all the free stuff that comes prefer the come-what-may lounge method. lower him/herself to work as a gopher a) "there is just too much competition in along in the summer. Good for you! Be Take this quiz to find out what end of the for one of those self aggrandizing cor- my field, but I hope to build up my careful not to fall to either end of the scale. slacker spectrum you fall into, plus check porate money grubbers resume during the year so that by Being too passive in that internship can out helpful hints on how to dramatically graduation my chances improve" mean going unnoticed while being too change your personal rut. 4. Your current job or internship makes b) "I'm stupid, stupid, stupid!" aggressive can mean pushy. In any case, you: c) "that fool in personnel mixed up my choose a happy medium. Try ingratiating 1. By April 2001 you: a) want to scratch your eyes out, but you portfolio with someone else's and they yourself into your boss's good will and a) had already been to 8 interviews, know there's a light at the end of the got the promotion that was intended he/she will inevitably toss more responsi- accepted to at least 3 companies and coffee-bringing tunnel for me" bility your way. Make sure to upkeep the began your report for the internship b) sing "I Feel Pretty" contacts you establish in the summer, they seminar due in October c) oh, my daddy pays for the Beemer so 1 Answer Key will definitely come in handy after gradua- b) sent out a few resumes and hoped at don't need one of those job things tion. least one bites l.a-3,b-2,c-l c) couldn't wait to get out of school, 5. If asked about your career, the first 2.a-l,b-3,c-2 If you scored 20-24 you are: Manic Job begin that summer stint in CVS thing your parents would say is: 3. a-2, b-3, c-1 Hunter. you've had since you were 14 and go a) "Well, he/she takes out the garbage 4. a-2, b-3, c-1 Hey how's that ulcer doing? Granted, to the beach twice a week" 5. a-1, b-3,c-2 the competition is fierce and you want to b) "Hopefully he/she will see more than 6.a-3,b-2,c-l get ahead, but spending all your time forc- 2. Your summer goals are: the fluorescent lights of the office this 7.a-3,b-2,c-l ing yourself into some corner office when a) to score those black Prada pumps for summer" 8.a-2,b-l,c-3 you're twenty is just ludicrous, forgetting half price at that sample sale you c) "He/she doesn't really know, but prob- something? How about fun? When else heard about ably something in communications" If you scored 8-13 you are: A Clueless are you going to have a chance to party b) to begin Part B of your long term aims Slacker. until dawn and then hit the beach the next by aligning yourself to the head of 6. At the Fordham University Alumni Wake up and smell the competition. day without having to explain yourself to every publishing/consulting/produc- Reunion in 5 years, you will: This isn't 1960 when all you had to do to anyone again? When you're 40 and sad- tioo/law firm in the city and score a a) give your business card to everyone guarantee yourself a decent job was have a dled with mortgages, kids, car payments, post graduate job offer from them by you meet so they know how high up BA. Today people with doctorates can't etc.? Probably not. Therefore, go easy August 4th the corporate ladder you've managed find work. So get your butt out of that with that ambition. There's enough time to c) to work on that overall tan while net- to cjjmb within that short time hammock and do something with your life. rise in the ranks without sacrificing your working away from the copy machine b) reminisce about how little those theo- Send out a«few resumes, call some job youth, take a weekend off to go out wiuv and into more credible tasks within ry classes taught you, but would admit search agencies, register with Monster or out your cell phone and remember what it's your current intemship/job that your current job did come as a Hotjobs. 80 grand a year won't just come like to be a kid. •

Warped Rallies Randalls Island (continued from page 13)

Friend and Todd Morse manage to play can be. and Rancid follow suit. Tim Armstrong only a few songs from Go, like "Role 6:50PM: Me First and the Gimme begins to strum the melody of "Radio" and Model" and "Like a Prayer," which sounds Gimmes, an all-star punk rock cover band I scramble to get my camera ready. Lars, a hell of a lot better live than on the record. featuring two members of Lagwagon Matt, Tim and Brett manage to include I guess when you move to MCA Records, (Joey Cape and Dave Raun), a NOFX-er only one song from their newest album you can cover a Madonna song, but I (Fat Mike), and vocals by a member of the ("Loki") and blaze through older favorites digress. Full of energy, H2O also please Swingin' Utters (Spike Slawson). like "Maxwell Murder," "Roots Radicals," fans by playing "Everready," "I See It In Guitarist Chris Shiflett is not there (he's "Journey to the End of the East Bay" and Us," "F.T.T.W (Faster Than the World)," doing time with his other band, the Foo close with "Ruby Soho." and "One Life, One Chance." Fighters) and Warren from the Vandals is 8:18 PM: I stand in front of the center 5:50PM: I'm so anxious for The his replacement. I'm amused that all of the stage with a rug right in front of me Bouncing Souls' set. Before they take the members are wearing matching Hawaiian knowing that Henry Rollins, the frontman stage, a sign appears showing their contin- shirts and there's a fully stocked bar with for the Rollins Band will stand right in ued hatred of MTV. A small banner with a bartender on stage as well. Beginning front of me. It proves to be very intimi- knife through the station's logo quips, with "Leaving on a Jet Plane," the audi- dating. Although a majority of the crowd "Kill 'em all; Let God sort 'em out." Then ence began moshing to songs that they has already left, a decent number of people (and their parents) know by heart. Other the fcur members of the Souls appear and stick around to watch the last band per- tunes they manage to cover are "Sloop form. Older songs such as "Starve" are perform "Argyle," and singer Greg John," "Don't Cry For Me Argentina," gingerly placed in the beginning of the set Attonito encourages the crowd to clap and "Rocket Man" and the theme from Annie, list. Henry and gang preview a few songs sing along. I'm euphoric as they also play "Tomorrow." I'm kind of disappointed that will appear on their upcoming release, "Kate Is Great," "East Coast! Fuck You!," that they omit "My Boyfriend's Back" and Nice, like "Your Number is One" and the "Hopeless Romantic," and "Born to "Sweet Caroline" but you can't please heavy "Stop Look and Listen." Sadly, I Warren Fitzgerald of The Vandals at the Lose." everyone in only 30 minutes. have to call it a night after "Get Some, Go Vans Warped Tour 6:20PM: The Ataris perform and I do Again" in order to beat Saturday night traf- something else. Actually, I end up walking 7:20PM: Morgan Heritage, a reggae band that only appear on the tour for a few fic. Dirty, hungry and very tired, I realize Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal." around backstage and meet Kool Keith. I I have done it again. I've survived anoth- 5:20PM: I run over to see and H2O get his autograph and my friend and 1 pose days perform and I decide to secure a spot in front of the stage for Rancid. er year of the Vans Warped Tour and and I make it in time to to see them walk for pictures with him. I'm surprised by return home in one piece. • out on stage. Toby, Rusty, Adam, Todd how nice a man with multiple pseudonyms 7:40PM: Morgan Heritage finish early August 29,2001 page 15

The Campus Ministry Office serves the entire Lincoln Center Campus Community: students, staff, faculty, and administration. We seek to foster the intellectual, social, and especially, Global Outreach the spiritual development of everyone here at the Lincoln Center campus.

Our approach is ecumenical. The Global Outreach program at Fordham Persons of all faiths are welcome. University provides opportunities for students to travel both domestically and internationally over school breaks. While on What do we offer? Global Outreach projects, students will use the four pillars of Global Outreach: Spiritual Direction and pastoral counseling Retreats such as Emmaus, club retreats, Global Seeking justice, Spirituality, Community, and Outreach retreats Cultural Sensitiyity to make a and more difference in another community, Global Outreach service projects- domestic and as well as in themselves. international Daily masses in the Chapel and one evening in the Residence Hall This year's Lincoln Center projects are: A Sunday liturgy at St. Paul's the Apostle Church

., \Lt*.

Most of all we are a friendly .1 *:v^* ' •* face that is there for you! Philippines 12/28-1/13 9/24/01 Stop by LL 217C to learn more about our pro- grams or just to talk. Florida 12/29-1/13 10/5/01

Campus Ministry Staff: El Salvador 3/23-3/30 10/19/01 Joan Cavanagh, M.A., Associate Director Fr. Damian O'Connell, S J., Assistant Director Waynesburg 3/24-3/30 11/9/01 Anna Pfeiffer, Global Outreach Coordinator Haiti 5/26-6/8 2/1/02 Office Hours: Mon-Thur 10a-6p Almost Heaven 5/26-6/1 2/15/02 Fri 10a-4p (212) 636-6267

For more information contact Anna Pfeiffer (LL217Corx6269) Serving Fordham, Serving the world! August 29,2001

The President of Fordham University requests the honor of your presence at the Mass of the Holy Spirit celebrating the beginning of the academic year.

St. Paul the Apostle Church 415 W. 59th St. (Columbus Ave.) 3:00pm Tuesday, September 11, 2001

Reception to Follow