1 e n i z a g a M s l r i G

T y t t e r Published for the Most Beautiful Girls In The World P

A publication of the Pretty T Girls Yahoo Group e h September 2017 T 2 In This Issue

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Editorial By: Barbara Jean 3 New Transition for NAFB Airman 5 Transgender Deacon Appointed by United Methodist Church 8 The Best Drugstore Makeup Under $5 11 How To Look Modern While Wearing the Retro Makeup Trend 14 How To Prevent Eye Makeup From Running 17 Color Correcting Chart 18 How To Clean Makeup Brushes 18 Bluestocking Blue 19 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes 22 Módhnóirí 23 Tasi’s Musings 25 Humor 31 Angels In The Centerfold 32 Mellissa’s Tips 36 7 Ways To Protect Your Shoes in the Rain 42 Diana Sikes 43 Tasi’s Fashion News 45 Lucille Sorella How to Walk In High Heels 49 Lucille Sorella How to Deal With Envy & Comparison 52 For Wives and S.O.’s of Transsexuals 54 Crossdresser or Fetish Dresser 62 From The Kitchen 66 10 Simple Hacks For Better Outdoor Dining 70 The Gossip Fence 74 Shop Till You Drop 86 Calendar 99 3 Can You Serve? An Editorial by: Barbara Jean

Well once again President Trump has stabbed the LGBT community in the back. As we know he wants to ban transgender people from being able to serve in the military. A shock, yes, but with this president nothing is asurprise. Now the big question is can he do it?

Defense Secretary Mattis was caught off guard and appalled by the presidents tweet. Admiral Mullen’s the former joint chief of staff called on congress to resist dictating policy on how to treat transgender troops to the pentagon. Forty-five senators, including one Republican, are urging Defense Secretary James Mattis to advise President Trump against implementing a ban on transgender troops he announced this week on Twitter. John McCain, the Arizona Republican and Vietnam War hero, said Trump was simplywrong. "Any American who meets current medical and readiness standards should be allowed to continue serving," he said. "There is no reason to force service members who are able to fight, train and deploy to leave the military -- regardless of their gender identity." Nineteen state attorneys general, including the one for Washington, D.C., are calling on Congress to block President Trump from implementing a ban on transgender troops. Specifically, they want the leaders of the Senate and House Armed Services committees to include language in the annual defense policy bill to prohibit discrimination against transgender troops and affirm that transgender Americans cannot be banned from serving.

President Trump never served in the military himself. During the Viet Nam war he managed to get 5 medical deferments that kept him from having to serve. When you come from a rich family I don’t think it is very hard to buy a deferment of some kind to keep you from serving in combat.

Now one of the things that Trump cited was high medical cost of treating the transgender troops. So what does it cost? Well by one estimate it will cost the Defense Department between 2.4 and 8.4 million dollars Annuallyout of the $49.3 Billion dollar health care budget. By contrast the military spent $41.6million on Viagra — and $84.24million total on erectile dysfunction prescriptions — last year. For those of you quick with themath, that’s ten times more being spent on erectile dysfunction prescriptions than the projected cost of covering transition-related healthcare. In addition the Coast Guard reports So far this year, it has spent $6.6 million protecting Mar-a- Lago. In addition it cost the Air Force $3 million each time the president travels on Air Force 1 to Mar-a-Lago (Total so far this year $18 million.)

A majority of Americans thinks that transgender people should be allowed to serve in the military, according to a Reuters poll released Friday. The poll found that 58 percent of adults think transgender peopleshould be able to serve in the armed forces, while 27 peoplesaid 4 they shouldn’t.

Impeach Trump, yes many people in this nation (not just LGBT) want to see President Trump impeached out of office. But for us who are LGBT the situation would be far worstsince it would mean that Vice President Pence would take the office. Come the next election in 2020 I think Pence would fair far better than Trump on the republican ticket.

So far this year President Trump has not been able to get any of his objectives passed. He cannot get a health care bill passed, almost all of his executive orders have been overturned bycourts,he has notgotten the budgetfor his wall,and he cannotseem to getrid ofthe investigation into ties with Russia. I think our best hope is that in 2018 we can flip both the house and the senate to democratic majority (veto proof majority would be even better)

To protect our rights in the various states and eliminatemanyof the anti-LGBT state laws we need to get more democrats in the various state legislators and Governors. This of course can onlybe done ifEVERYONE of us go to the polls and vote when there are elections. LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD!

“In Nazi Germany they first came for the communist and I said nothing. I was not a communist Then theycame for the Jews and again Isaid nothing as Iwas nota Jew. Theycame for the trade unionistand Idid notspeak out. Iwas nota trade unionist. Theycame for the gays and Isaid nothing as was notgay. Theycame for the Catholics,Iremainedsilentas Iwas a protestant. Then theycame for me, but then there was no one left to speak out.”

The above quote was attributed to Rev. Martin Nemoiler a Lutheran Minister in Nazi Germany. It is said we teach history to keep from repeating the mistakes of the past.

President Trump as we note by his cabinet appointees is coming after the LGBT community, siding so much with the evangelicals who seem to be the greatest enemy of the LGBT. Coming after immigrants both illegal and even legal. Doing what theycan to reduce the number of voters who would vote against them. So manythings of this nature. Do we not see the similarities between this administration and the Nazi’s of Germany? Are we as a nation blind to what is happening?

Are we all like Rev. Nemoiler who remain silent until it is us that they target?

Freedom of religion, yet our constitution does grant us the right to worship as we choose and to practice our religious beliefs. But the same amendment gives us freedom FROM religion. While we have the right to worship as we choose we do not have the right to impose our religious beliefs on others. Yet this is what the evangelicals seem to be trying to do. Using religious beliefs as a license to discriminate.

I have to wonder when will our nation wake up to what is happening? 5 New transition for NAFB Airman By Senior Airman Irene Nelson , 57th Operations Support Squadron /

Senior Airman Irene Nelson, 57th Operations Support Squadron air traffic controller, Nellis Air Force Base, Nev., poses for a portrait outside the headquarters of the Nevada Test and Training Range June 29, 2017. Nelson became the first Airman in Air Combat Command to have a gender transition recognized in official military records in February 2017. (U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Kristin High/Released) NELLIS AIR FORCE BASE, Nev. - I grew up in New Mexico as the youngest of three children and my favorite color is unicorn! Hopefully, that made you laugh. If not my feelings won’t be too hurt. I grew up in a very conservative Christian house-hold with two significantly older brothers who were 9 and 11 years older, so I was basically an only child. I was bullied just like any other kid, but I always stood my ground. Surprisingly, things got easier for me in high school, which goes against the stereotypical norm. It was probably due to my school being relatively small, and I had the reputation for being funny and having a bubbly personality. Growing up, I knew always liked men and was very effeminate. I was very competitive, but saw other girls as my competition, especially when it came to academics or boys. I always wanted what the girls had, but I was never quite able to grasp why I couldn’t have those things or be treated the same way. My whole life I had heard that I was a gay man, a very effeminately gay man, so that’s all I ever thought I was and could be. Even my parents had issues with my sexual orientation (surprise), and they took me to a gay conversion seminar when I was about 15 years old. For a while, I went back into the “closet” and devoted a lot of my time to volunteering at church. I spent endless hours studying the Bible and praying for God to give me clarity as to why I had these temptations or feelings. Why couldn’t he take them away? Nothing is as hard as your whole world tell- ing you that you are wrong. Your existence is wrong. When I was 19, I was hired at local cosmetic story offering a full line of beauty products on sheer luck and customer service skills. When I started, I had no idea there was a difference between eyeliner and mascara. Thanks to some wonderful people, I learned a lot and, not to toot my own horn, became an amazing makeup artist, with much of my work on multiple social media platforms. In the midst of me finding satisfaction in something as feminine as makeup, I was still trying to progress as an adult by going to school and work. I was really struggling staying under my parent’s roof. My older brother saw my struggles and suggested I join the Air Force. He was in the Army, but he told me that it’s not only a great way to serve my country, but get away from my parents, learn a valuable skill, 6 and go back to school without fear of loans or debts. This all sounded so wonderful, but I knew when I joined I’d have to hide my feelings. For the time being, it was worth it to be able to start my own life. On July 10, 2012 I packed my bags and was on my way to Lackland Air Force Base, Texas for basic military training.

Even though I joined the military, I thought I could just be a drag queen since I couldn’t escape my love of makeup and beauty. However in the gay community, that’s almost looked upon as a disease.

Senior Airman Irene Nelson, 57th Operations As YouTube progressed, I became enamored and Support Squadron air traffic controller, Nellis Air fascinated by men who wore makeup. I wanted to Force Base, Nev., and mother on the beach. Nelson be as strong and beautiful as them. I tried that, but became the first Airman in Air Combat Command it didn’t feel right. I had thought, “Well what if I to have a gender transition recognized in official was a girl?’, but I just kept thinking how scary and military records in February 2017. upside-down my whole world would turn. A few years ago, I saw a social media video titled “I AM TRANSGENDER” by a very beautiful woman named Gigi Gorgeous, who had begun her transition. Like me, she was very effeminately gay, but she wasn’t afraid to wear makeup, nails, heels, or accessorize with purses, rings, or earrings. As the video progressed, I asked myself “Is this you? Are you this?” I couldn’t even begin to say the word transgender! “What are you thinking? That’s crazy!” I would yell at myself as these thoughts ran through my head. Eventually, I got enough courage to go to a transgender support group at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Center of Southern Nevada. There I met some wonderful people who have shared their life stories with me. I saw that living my life as a woman wasn’t so crazy, and it started to feel right. I had never truly been unhappy with my life, but I didn’t feel fully realized. Most importantly, I didn’t feel like who I was supposed to be. When I admitted to myself that I was transgender, a wave of calm and utter happiness rushed over me. The answers to what I had been searching for finally arrived in my brain and I had enough courage to start this journey. As I came to realize who I was, who I wanted to be, and how to become that, I had just few hurdles left. I had to deal with my career field as an air traffic controller, and not just work, the military is a lifestyle to which you have to be 100 percent committed. Around June of 2015, there was a rumor that the transgender ban was going to be lifted. Not until June of 2016 did the Department of Defense finally issue guidance for transgender integration. I knew who I wanted to be, but to share that with my co-workers was a fear so daunting that I couldn’t speak at times. I opened up to my supervisor and my chief, and from there the ball started rolling. I had my name legally changed in March 2016, and I wanted to start hormone therapy treatments. Due to being ATC, I am on flying status which affects the medications I am allowed to take. Hormones would take me off flying status, but for an unknown period of time. I heard processes in the Air Force don’t always get implemented quickly, and this whole process is a 7 testament to that statement. I understood this process was new for the Air Force, but I’m very impatient. Something I had been trying to deal with for years, was only days or weeks for others. In December 2016, I went to Lackland AFB to see the Medical Multidisciplinary Team. The MMDT is a team of doctors that shape your overall transition plan. Not only did I meet with physicians, but I had to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. After all was said and done in Lackland, I was sent back to Nellis AFB, Nevada with hormones and a treatment plan while the rest was left up to my command. I was able to expedite my driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to legally recognize my female gender marker. With the recommendation of the MMDT, my doctor at Flight Medicine, my squadron, group, wing and base commanders gave the recommendation to change my gender marker from male to female in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS). The very first day of February 2017, I was not only able to be me, but be recognized as me. The relief I felt was so indescribable. As mentioned before, I am a very impatient person. There were so many times I wanted to give up, but thanks to some amazing people in my life who didn’t let me. I pursued, pushed and ended up being the first person in Air Combat Command to legally change their gender marker in DEERS and the Military Personnel Data System (MilPDS). As far as the medical side of things, I am currently awaiting a medical waiver to return to flying status, which would allow me to go back to controlling air traffic. The moral of my story is: do not give up. If you ever feel like giving up, there are a multitude of resources around you like Mental Health or the Military Life Counselors at the Airman and Family Readiness Center. If you see me say hi, and yes I will answer all of the personal questions you want to know about me. If you don’t see me, shoot me an email or message online. I’m an open book. Finally, thanks for taking the time to learn about me and my journey. 8 The United Methodist Church has appointed a transgender deacon By Julie Zauzmer The bishop spoke the traditional words as she placed her hands on the new deacon named M with just a slight difference from the way those words have always been spoken before. “Pour out your Holy Spirit upon M,” the bishop said. “Send them now to proclaim thegood newsof Jesus Christ, to announce the reign of God and to equip the church for ministry.” Not “sendhim now” or “send her now.” “Send them now.” That’s what M Barclay has been working for 12 years to finally hear. Barclay, a transgender person who identifies as neither male nor female and thus uses the pronoun “they,” was commissioned on Sunday as the first non Bishop Sally Dyck commissions the Rev.M Barclay on Sunday. -binary member of the clergy in the (Courtesy of Rev. Britt Cox) United Methodist Church. The United Methodist Church is one of the largest denominations in America, falling behind only the Catholic Church and the Southern Baptist Convention. The mainline Protestant denomination has been bitterly divided over sexuality and gender identity: Its official rules say clergy must either be celibate or in heterosexual marriages, and can perform only such marriages, but American bishops have ordained gay and transgender clergy before, and clergy have conducted same-sex marriages. In the Northern Illinois Conference, where Barclay was commissioned Sunday, Bishop Sally Dyck toldthe United Methodist News Service: “Ihope the church will find itself at a new place in the near future when it comes to full inclusion. That said, M and the other candidates for commissioning and ordination are all a part of the church’s witness and outreach to people who need the good news of Jesus Christ.”

Staff at the Northern Illinois Conference did not respond to inquiries from The Washington Post on Wednesday. It was a long journey before Barclay got the chance to be ordained. Raised in a conservative community in Pensacola, Fla., Barclay said they identified as a straight woman when deciding to enter ministry. As a y oung woman, Barclay enrolled at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary in Texas in 2005. 9 A year or so of reading theology — feminist theology and queer theology included — helped Barclay realize that they weren’t straight after all. Barclay came out, initially as a lesbian woman. “Ireally struggled for the next year about whether I was going to stay in the church at all. I struggled with how much harm the church had done, not only to LGBT people but to other marginalized people. Iwasn’t sure Iwanted to be a part of that,” Barclay said. “My faith was still there. It was just really hard to imagine the church living out what I think God is trying to do in theworldright now.” “Iunderstand the rules of the church,” Barclay said. “But here’s the truth: I’m queer, and I’m called tothis. I tried towalk away.” In 2012, Barclay pursued ordination in Texas. At that time Barclay was identifying as a woman and was in a relationship with another woman. Barclay thought that would mean disqualification off the bat and sowas shockedto get approvedfor thenextround of interviews. But the next boardrefused to even meet with Barclay at all, sparking a heated and public debate. “There was a conversation of 400 clergy in Texas about whether or not they could prove I was having sex,” Barclay said. “It was terrible. It wasterrible.” The Rev.M Barclay (Reconciling After a prolonged fight — Barclay eventually got the interview but Ministries Network) didn’t get approved — Barclay moved from Austin to Chicagoand took a job at Reconciling Ministries Network, an organization that promotes inclusion of transgender and gender nonconforming people in the United Methodist Church. There, Barclay felt safe coming out as not just queer but transgender. And there, after another procedural delay, they eventually met with a local board that enthusiastically approved their candidacy for the clergy. Barclay was commissioned as a deacon in Sunday’s ceremony and, after a two-year provisional period that all new deacons go through, expects to be ordained in 2019. Deacons in the United Methodist Church are ordained clergy wholead the church through preaching and leading ministries.

“Every step of the way, I still wasn’t sure if this would ever happen,” Barclay said. “Even until the day of the service on Sunday. I was thinking, ‘Is somebody going torun intothe room and finda way toput a stoptoit?’” Barclay is not in a romantic relationship now, so is not violating the church’s rule that clergy can have sexual relationships only in heterosexual marriages. The church does not have any rule banning transgender clergy. Still, Barclay’s gender identity is a cause of concern for some in the church. The Rev. Thomas Lambrecht, general manager of the United Methodist group Good News, which advocates against allowing same-sex marriage or gay clergy, told United Methodist News Service that most people in Good News believe people should live as the gender they are assigned at birth, though transgender people should be welcome in churches. 10 “We would probably draw the line at leadership, seeing transgender persons as not qualified for leadership,” Lambrecht said. “It is premature for the Northern Illinois Annual Conference to move ahead tocommission M Barclay, given the present state of knowledge and the questions her commissioning will raise in the minds of many faithful United Methodists.” Barclay said they havereceived many messages from people opposed to their leadership in the church because of their gender identity. But Barclay has also heard from LGBT Christians, from the parents of LGBT y outh and from supportive churches that seek Barclay’s input about a theology that embraces Christian teaching and queer inclusion. “How do I theologically and scripturally adv ocate for trans people? I’m invited a lot to preach on that question,” Barclay said. Now, as a member of the clergy, Barclay will continue the ministry at Reconciling Ministries Network and will give more sermons and workshops at Methodist churches, with one noticeable change: Barclay will be wearing a collar. Most Methodist clergy don’t wear their collar every day, but Barclay wants to. “I feel very called to do that,” they said. “A visibly trans person who is an extension of the church —queer andtrans peopleneedto seethat. They needto seethemselvesreflectedin the life of faith.” So each morning this week, Barclay got dressed and looked in the mirror. In the reflection, the new United Methodist deacon saw what Barclay had been struggling to see for so long: a face true totheir identity, with an emblem of faith around their neck. 11 The Best Makeup under $5 Ashley Brooke Nicholas

The drugstore can be a dangerous place to shop for cosmetics. While the shelvesare stocked to the brim with affordable beauty products, there are quite a few products that just don’t work. Since most stores don’t allow y ou to sample products before making a purchase, it can be difficult to separate the gems of the drugstore beauty aisle from the duds. Thankfully, that’swheremy addiction tomakeupcomes in handy. Ihavea compulsive need totry each and every makeup product at the drugstore, and while this behavior isn’t great for my bank account, it’s great for y ou! Today I’m sharing the best makeup under $5, and I think you’re going to love each and every product on thelist! P.S. Drugstoremakeup pricestendto fluctuate frequently, so some of these products may rise slightly above $5 during certain times of theyear. If the price rises at one retailer, just try another. These products are almost always on sale at one store or another!

BEST FACE MAKEUP UNDER $5

1. NYX Blush | This line of blush comes in a wide variety of colors and finishes, and you’ll love the richly pigmented texture! 2. Rimmel Natural Bronzer | I love the subtle bronze glow that this bronzer provides. It comes in several different colors and finishes. 3. Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder | If y ou’re looking for a sheer powder tocombat excess shine, y ou’ll love the Stay Matte line! 4. NYX Hi Definition Photo Concealer Wand | This cream concealer blends likea dream andworks great for undereye circlesand blemishes. 5. Maybelline Fit Me! Concealer | Iuse this concealer each and every day. I love it just as much as my beloved NARS concealer! 6. e.l.f. Bronzer $3 | I just recently picked up the warm and cool versions of this bronzer, and Ireally love both versions. They provideda subtle bronze glow, and you can’t beat the price tag. 7. Rimmel Stay Matte Foundation | This foundation is basically perfect skin in a tube. I like to warm it up in my hands before applying it tomy face. 12

8. Essence Sun Club Matte Bronzing Powder | This bronzer is another new discovery, and it’s absolutely perfect for anyone with a light skin tone. 9. Essence Silky Touch Blush | Ilovethisblush- loveit. All of thecolors in thelineprovidethe perfect natural flush toyour cheeks! 10. Wet n Wild Color Icon Collection Bronzer in Reserve Your Cabana | While it’s called a bronzer, this product is definitely a highlighter. It gives your cheekbones a heavenly glow without toomuch shimmer. 11. e.l.f. Contouring Blush & Bronzing Powder | This handy duois constantly in my makeup bag. While the bronzer isn’t my all-time favorite, it does the job; however, I couldn’t lovethe blush more! 12. NYC Smooth Skin Bronzing Powder – Sunny | This matte bronzer never lets me down. It’s the perfect shade tocontour y our cheekbones or warm up y our complexion. 13. L.A. Girl Pro Conceal HD Concealer | This line of concealers is a new favorite. It comes in a wide variety of colors and provides great coverage!

BEST LIP PRODUCTS UNDER $5

1. Milani Color Statement Lipliner $3.49 | I’m obsessed with these liners. They’re long-lasting and come in versatile shades that match any lipstick! 2. Milani Color Statement Lipstick $4.99 | The Milani Color Statement doesn’t disappoint. All of the lipsticks are smooth and highly pigmented. There are plenty of MAC dupes in this collection as well (future post?)! 3. Rimmel Lasting Finish Lip Stick – Kate Moss Collection $4.99 | These lipsticks are some of all-time favorites. All of the shades are packed with pigment, and the formula can’t be beat. 4. Rimmel Lip Liner $4.79 | These lip liners are incredibly smooth and affordale. East End Snob is my favorite shade! 5. ColourPop Lippie Stix $5 | Lippie Stix are my latest lipstick discovery. This line comes in every shade of the rainbow as well as matte, satin, and glossy finishes. 6. ColourPop Lippie Pencil $5 |It usedto be difficult to find the perfect lip liner for y our fav orite lipstick, but this line of lip pencils has eliminated that problem forever. The Lippie pencils match the Lippie Stix line perfectly! 7. Essence Lip Liner $1.49 | The Essence lip liners are smooth, creamy, and a complete steal for only $1.49! 8. Essence Longlasting Lipstick $2.99 | I cannot believe these lipsticks are only $3. The for- mula is absolutely dreamy. 9. MAKEUP REVOLUTION Lip Lacquer $5 | Makeup Revolution is the newest drugstore beauty liner, and their lip lacquers are highly pigmented liquid lipsticks. 10. Milani Brilliant Shine Lip Gloss $4.39 | This lip gloss reminds me of MAC Lipglass. It’s extremely shiny with an addictivevanilla scent. 11. Jordana Easyliner for Lips Retractable Pencil $1.99 | These lip liners may only be $2, but 13 they’ve become a staple in my makeup collection. I love easily the color glides ontomy lips. 12. Jordana Modern Matte Lipstick $2.99 | Creamy matte lips for less than $3? Yes, please! 13. NYX Mega Shine Lip Gloss $4.99 | This lip gloss line has been one of my fav orites for years. I’m addicted tothe fruity scent of these glossy ! 14. MAKEUP REVOLUTION Amazing Lipstick $3 | I’v e been so impressed with the Makeup Rev olution line! Great products in a widevariety of colors. 15. L.A. Girl Glazed Lip Paint $3.49 | If y ou’re a fan of the O.C.C. Lip Tars, y ou’ll want to try out the Glazed lip paints. They’realmost exactly the same for a fraction of the cost! 16. Wet n Wild MegaLast Lipstick $1.97 | These lipsticks are highly pigmented and long lasting, but they can be a bit drying. I like to apply a hydrating lip balm before applying this lipstick tomaintain a smooth finish on my lips. 17. NYX Round Case Lipstick $3.99 | NYX can do nowrong. I love this collection of lipsticks because it comes in a wide variety of colors and finishes! 18. NYX Slim Lip Pencil $3.49 | These lip liners are really similar to MAC for a much smaller price tag! 19. NYX Butter Gloss (not pictured) $4.99 | I somehow forgot toinclude a photo of this lip gloss in my product collage, but I absolutely LOVE this line! In fact, I have almost every sin- gle shade! They’re creamy, moisturizing, and smell like vanilla.

BEST EYE MAKEUP UNDER $5 1. Wet n Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow in Comfort Zone $4.99 | The 6-pan eyeshadow palettes from Wet n Wild can’t be beat. This palette is a must-have for any makeup colllection. 2. Jordana 12 HR Made to Last Liquid Eyeliner Pencil $1.99 | Want a pencil eyeliner that’s creamy and long-lasting? This Jordana eyeliner fits the bill for under $2! 3. Jordana 12 HR Madeto Last Eyeshadow Pencil $1.99 | I love using these eyeshadow pencils as a base for my eyeshadow! 4. ESSENCE Gel Eyeliner $3.99 | This gel eyeliner is just as creamy as versions from high end brands. It definitely does not disappoint! 5. Jordana Best Lash Extreme Volumizing Mascara $2.99 | My all-time favorite mascara. Seri- ously, it’s holy grail status. If y ou like dramatic lashes, givethis bad boy a try. 6. Jordana Fabuliner Liquid Eye Liner $1.99 | Another holy grail item! Iuse this liquid liner every single day. 7. Wet n Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow Single $1 | If you’re an eyeshadow minimalist, the Wet n Wild singles are a perfect choice. They’re highly pigmented, easy to blend,and lessthan $1! 8. ColourPop Super Shock Shadow $5 | Irecently discovered this line of eyeshadows, and I’m obsessed. This highly pigmented product comes in dozens of colors! 9. e.l.f. Studio Eyebrow Kit $3 | This compact brow kit contains brow powder and wax, and it will help your eyebrows look amazing for only $3. 14 10. Catrice Velvet Matte Eyeshadow $4.99 | Catrice is a European brand that’s just coming over to the U.S., and their eyeshadows are incredible! Smooth, creamy, and filled with pigment. 11. e.l.f. Essential Instant Lift Brow Pencil $2 | I haveheard at least a dozen people brag about this $2 eyebrow pencil lately, so I can’t wait totry it out. I’v ealready placed my order! 12. Maybelline Great Lash Big Mascara $3.79 | This mascara has been a fav orite of mine for years. It creates long and fluttery lashes with minimal clumping. 13. Rimmel ScandalEyes Waterproof Kohl Eyeliner $4.49 | This line of eyeliner is absolutely incredible. They go on as smooth as butter and last all day long. 14. Milani Bella Eyes Gel Powder Eyeshadow $3.19 | I can’t stop buying these eyeshadows. They come in the most beautiful colors! 15. MaybellineVolum’ Express The Falsies Flared Mascara $4.99 | This mascara is one of my favorite “second coat” mascaras. I like toapply one layer of a lengthening mascara, and then apply a coat of this mascara for dramatic volume. 16. ESSENCE I Love Extreme Crazy Volume Mascara $4.99 | This mascara makes your lashes POP. If y ou like big, thick, and dramatic lashes, you’ll love this mascara. 17. Wet n Wild Color Icon Eyeshadow Trio $2.97 | As y ou can probably tell, Ihave a thing for Wet n Wild eyeshadows. I have almost every single trio they make!

How to look modern while wearing the retro makeup trend

By Amanda Storey

Drew Barrymore, the queen of 90s brown lipstick! I never thought I'd see the day that the quintessential 90s matte brown lipstick would come back into fashion, but re- cently I raced over to the Lime Crime cosmetics website and eagerly put their newest and most talked about "Gothatines" matte brown lipstick into my online basket. The older I get the more I realize that there is absolutely nothing new when it comes to fashion and beauty.

Every "new trend" and every "fresh look" has been recycled time and again through the ages. But just because something isn't "new" doesn't mean it can't updated and modern looking!

Here are my tips for introducing retro makeup looks into your routine without looking like you're an extra in your local theatres production of Hairspray.

Trend: White Eyeliner White eyeliner can be a tricky look to pull off. If not done correctly you can end up looking like a frosty disco snow bunny, but if you nail it, it can be modern, minimalist and interesting.

My favorite white eyeliners Best Liquid Liner Pen: Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in Snow ($20).This liquid liner pen is long-lasting and extremely easy to apply with the fine-point brush tip. Best Pencil Eyeliner: Rimmel Soft Kohl Kajal Eye Pencil in Pure White. ($3.99). If you prefer a pencil liner, the Rimmel white kohl kajal goes on 15 smoothly and is very easy to blend. This product is also great for smoothing onto the eyelid alone as a matte white eyeshadow. Best Gel Eyeliner: Inglot Cosmetics Matte Collection AMC Eyeliner Gel in #76. ($12 at select Macy's Impulse Beauty Departments and online at inglotcosmetics.com). The Inglot Matte Collection AMC gel eyeliners glide on beautifully and set to a waterproof finish within 60 seconds. No smearing, creasing, smudging or flaking at all!

How to pull it off... Do: Keep the coverage and finish of your foundation sheer and luminous. Skin should be fresh and glowing!

Do: Get graphic with it! Experiment with interesting shapes and futuristic eyeliner styles. Do: The focal point should be the eyeliner. Don't get too fussy with eyeshadows and other products that will compete with the bold eyeliner.

Don't: Skip the white or paled-out lip if you sport white eyeliner. Either keep the lips natural or apply a bold lipstick in red, orange or fuchsia. Don't: Do not overly powder your skin or use very matte makeup. The trick is to pair the retro white eyeliner and with more glossy unexpected modern textures. Looking matte will appear costumey; we're talking Stepford Wives. Don't: White eyeliner is a little less forgiving than its darker colored counterparts. Make sure your application is smooth and precise. Blend and use q-tips and makeup remover to perfect your lines. You don't want thick and chunky clown-paint eyeliner!

Revlons re-launched vintage iconic lipsticksTrend: Iconic Lipstick One thing I have learned in my 13-year career as a Makeup Artist is that women are loyal to lipstick. They will wear the same shade their entire lives if it the color is still in production! These iconic shades are loved by mil- lions and have been worn by grandmothers, mothers and then passed on to daughters. There is something so fascinating and romantic about wearing an iconic shade of lipstick that has been loved by so many. Millions of women can't be wrong, right?

Beyoncé wearing a dark lip color My favorite iconic lipsticks Revlon Fifth Ave. Red ($7.99 at select drugstores): A few months back I wrote a blog about Revlon re-introducing 5 discontinued iconic lipstick shades. Revlon conducted a Facebook poll and allowed consumers to vote for what shades they would love to see come back onto the market. One of these shades was Fifth Avenue Red. When I saw the collection had launched, I bought them all, and this gorgeous shade quickly became a favorite. Fifth Ave. Red is rich, long-wearing and I believe it is universally flattering. Launched in 1958, it is definitely a timeless red that will "glamourize" any gal. Due to the popularity of this shade, you will have to check your local drugstore for availability. Clinique Black Honey $15 at Sephora or anywhere Clinique is sold: Clinique Black Honey has a cult following I didn't quite understand until I tried it. This glorious sheer berry shade literally looks good on 16 everyone. The smooth texture is mega-flattering and comfortable to wear as well as moisturizing. You can vamp it up with a matching lipliner or swipe it on blindly for a sheer berry stain. This color is just rich enough to be modern, but soft enough to be timeless.

MAC Lady Danger lipstick, part of the 'We're Back' collection.MAC Lady Dan- ger $16 anywhere MAC is sold: I have worn MAC Lady Danger lipstick so much that my boss even started calling me Lady Danger! This color is rich, opaque and fully pigmented. A beautiful hybrid of orange and red that will be incredibly flat- tering on woman of all ages and ethnicities (if they are brave enough to wear it!), Lady Danger is not only an iconic lip color, but it is perfectly on trend for 2014. Try it already!

How to pull it off…

Do: Exfoliate your lips with a soft toothbrush. Bold lipstick will highlight any dryness or cracking skin. No crusty kissers! Do: Wearing lipstick requires a little bit of responsibility and maintenance. Make sure you line your lips (if needed) to keep lipstick from feathering out of your lip line. Be mindful of ipstick caking into the inner corners of your mouth and if you see a woman with lipstick on her teeth, tell her politely and discreetly. Hopefully someone will do the same for you!

Audrey Hepburn knew the power of boldly defined brows!Trend: Boldly Groomed Brows

Whether you like it or not it seems that defined brows aren't going out of style any time soon. I work at the #1 Benefit Cosmetics Brow Bar in the world, and all day long I hear women asking for "the thicker the better" when it comes to the shape and grooming of their eyebrows. It's not news to me that fuller brows are more youthful and attractive and luckily the beauty and fashion industry are finally seeing that naturally full brows are better and much more flattering for most faces.

My Favorite Eyebrow Products Benefit Gimme Brow ($22): If you are a newbie when it comes to brow defining or just like a very natural look, this is the fool-proof product for you. The fiber gel thickens and lengthens the brows you have, conditions them with vitamin B5 and then dries to lock them in place. Genius! Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade ($18): If you are a little more experienced with creating artfully applied arches, the Dipbrow is wonderful. This pomade is fully pigmented, glides on smoothly and then dries to a waterproof finish. Perfect if you really need to draw in a lot of "hairs" or like a flawlessly drawn on eyebrow. I use the chocolate shade. Illamasqua Brow and Lash Gel ($24): I have tested a lot of clear brow setting gels and this is my absolute favorite. It holds my brows in perfect shape for over 24 hours and never ever flakes. 17 Model Cara Delevingne (WireImage)How to pull it off... Do: If you aren't sure about the shape of your brows, have a consultation with a reputable aesthetician. Most aestheticians offer a no-commitment eyebrow mapping demo.

Do: Own those full brows! If you have lush brows, showcase them with looks that highlight your eyes and eyebrows. Smoky eyes and cat -eyes look best when framed with beautifully groomed eyebrows. Do: Dark brows, dark eyeshadow, thick foundation, bright lips and heavy blush can be a little too much for some women. If you are feeling a little apprehensive about filling in your brows, stick to a defined brow, a coat of mascara and a beautiful classic lipstick. You can't go wrong with that timeless recipe.

Don't: Put down the tweezers and step away! When it comes to eyebrow shaping, we can be our own worst enemy. Many women become obsessed with the magnifying mirror and end up tweezing their eyebrows into oblivion. Eyebrow hairs are extremely temperamental and if over-tweezed or waxed they may never come back. If you do your own brows, be conservative or just leave it up to a reputable professional.

How Do I Prevent My Eye Makeup from Running?

Humidity, that heart-wrenching YouTube video, an Adele song that hits too close to home—these are all culprits in one thing: ruining your eye makeup. In the dark category of annoying things (like chipped polish and snagged tights), running eye makeup tops the list. We asked makeup artist Tim Quinn how to avoid this cosmetic pitfall once and for all—here are his tips.

Don’t Over-Moisturize: Excess moisturizer will cause your makeup to smudge, so don’t over-do the cream around your eye area right before applying makeup.

Consider Waterproof: “I like using waterproof shadows and pencils. Giorgio Armani Eyes to Kill In- tense Eyeshadows are terrific,” says Quinn. For waterproof liner, we’re currently lovingUrban Decay 24/7 Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner.

Powder Up: “After applying liner on your upper lid, go over with a translucent powder using a fine liner brush. As for lower lashes, I use a sheer pressed powder along the lash line before and after applying liner,” Quinn suggests. Here at Team MDC, we like Make Up Forever HD Micro Finish Powder. 18 19 Bluestocking Blue By: Vivienne Georgina Beyer

Georgina Beyer is a transwoman whose achievements have been extraordinary. Beyer is a New Zealand institution and the world's first transsexual Member of Parliament. But for those of you not from these shores, it's worth adding a little background.

Beyer was in office when I first came to New Zealand. What struck me about New Zealand (as I mentioned here on this blog) is what a masculine country it is. Men here are real men: they drive trucks, they shoot animals, they drink beer. And you can keep your other namby-pamby ball games: the national sport here is rugby. In fact, I stated here without irony that I have found what I consider to be the pinnacle of masculine behaviour here.

And yet, behind that façade there are some curious observations. New Zealand was the first country to give women the vote, implementing true universal suffrage in 1893 (it took the US until 1920, and the UK languished until 1928). Wikipedia describes New Zealand as considered "one of the world's most stable and well-governed nations". Wikipedia: Between March 2005 and August 2006 New Zealand became the only country in the world in which all the highest offices in the land (Head of State, Governor-General, Prime Minister, Speaker of the House and Chief Justice) were occupied simultaneously by women. And one of my other heroes, Richard O'Brien, author of the Rocky Horror Show, grew up here and is now a citizen. For more of my reflections on New Zealand, read my article about him. So it's in this unusual environment that we find Georgina Beyer. Born in 1957, she had a turbulent and unhappy childhood. Her natural parents divorced when she was five years old. Her mother soon remarried. Beyer's stepfather was a lawyer (whose surname she took), but the marriage was not a happy one. Beyer was sent to boarding school where, feeling rejected, she attempted to take her own life. She left school at sixteen to pursue a career in acting.

Beyer always looked feminine, and was sometimes taken for a girl, Georgina Beyer which made her feel "far more comfortable". She moved to Wellington, where she met members of the gay and drag scene for the first time, including Carmen Rupe. "It was as if I had arrived home". She began to work as a cabaret artist and occasionally a prostitute, and took drugs. During this time, she was attacked and raped by a group of men.

She underwent full sex reassignment surgery in 1984, at the age of about 27. She began to have success as an actress, but was usually typecast as transsexual or transvestite characters, and she had difficulty 20 finding work. Eventually she enrolled in a government-sponsored training scheme in the small country town of Carterton. Carterton, a small "redneck" country town, predominantly white, was slightly taken aback by the presence of a Maori transsexual woman. But it's clear that Beyer is a person of extraordinary abilities, and her openness, ability, integrity, and determination, soon won over the locals. Friends suggested that she stand for election to Carterton District Council, to some outrage from the standing members, and she was eventually elected Mayor, in 1995, at the age of 38.

A natural leader, outspoken and fearless, and with great experience to draw on, the new Mayor of Carterton was a great success, and did considerable good for the town, winning the hearts of its inhabitants, who are still very proud of her. She was approached by the NZ Labour Party to stand for election to Parliament for the entire region, the Wairarapa. She won by a landslide, taking the seat Her Honour the Mayor from the expected favourite NZ National candidate. of Carterton She served as a member of Parliament until 2007. For much of that time, Helen Clark was the Prime Minister. Since resigning from Parliament, Beyer's political career has been impaired because of health issues, and she is currently awaiting a kidney transplant.

A tribute evening was arranged for Beyer by friends and family in November 2013.

Beyer agreed to be interviewed by me, but unfortunately, after I sent her my questions, she suffered a bout of illness. Since that time, she hasn't been responding to my emails. I waited several months for her to get well, and sent some reminders during that time, but there has been no response. She did, however, approve the text above, and the images I selected, for publication in this blog. Naturally if I am able to make contact with her again, I will keep you posted about the result. The NZ media reported that Beyer had stood as a candidate for the Mana Movement in the most recent General Election in this country, earlier this year.

Beyer published her autobiography, Change for the better: the story of Georgina Beyer with Random House in Auckland in 1999. A TV documentary about her life, Georgie Girl, was made in 2001, and you may be able to see some of it here or even here (though it may be unavailable outside NZ).

In research for this article, I came across the story of Vladimir Luxuria, the second transsexual member of parliament in the world. Luxuria held office in Vladimir Luxuria Italy from 2006-2008 for the constituency of Lazio. Luxuria lives as a woman but has not had sex-reassignment surgery, and (according to Wikipedia) is legally a male.

I wonder who will be the third? 21 Addendum 23rd October 2014 Well, that took less than 24 hours! My thanks to Sam for bringing to my attention Nikki Sinclaire, a British parliamentarian, who held a seat in the European Parliament from 2009 until June 2014, for the West Midlands constituency.

According to Wikipedia, Sinclaire underwent sex reassignment surgery at the age of 23. She came out as a lesbian in 2004 at the age of 36. However, she only publicly revealed that she was born a boy in 2013, Nikki Sinclaire which means she was elected without anyone knowing of her trans status.

In 2013, she released her autobiography, entitled Never Give Up, published by Junius Press. Sinclaire's personal website can be found here.

Okay, so my question is now: who will be the fourth? 22 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes By: Judy Daniels

A Dose of Reality

This morning I made a trip down into lake country to check on our cabin. The last few days I had been corresponding with some friends I have known for over 30 years. I had tentatively set up a brunch meeting with them and decided to text and tell them approximatelywhen I would be coming through Detroit Lakes. I also added that I would be dressed because neither of them have seenme, but both are Facebook friends on my Judy and Dan pages. I had assumed they would know I would be dressed because I had been communicating through my Judy page, but somewhere in the back of myhead I had the feeling the husband of the pair wasn't to comfortable with all this.

Well, as it turns out I'm glad I added what I did, because the message I got back from the wife was. I'm comfortable with it, but he is not. I said, that's cool, I'm glad I saidsomething because I don't like pushing this onsomeone who isn't ready. Then added, I will catch you next time. She then text back saying, Always goodseeing you and Tracy. I said, yes, been a long time, but this maycomplicate things as this is the wayI socialize now a days. We then exchanged several texts withme givingmycondensed Reader's Digest version of how I got to where I am today and she responded with much support.

About an hour later she text and said, we're through eating and I'm sending the hubbyhome, come meet me, I want to meet Judy. We arranged to meet at a little neighborhood bar near their home.She was sitting ata table offto the side ofthe bar when Icame in.Ilike sitting at the bar,butfor privacy sake Iwas glad wesatwhere we did.She greetedme with a big huge andsaid, wow, you look reallygood. For the record I was wearing a pink cardigan over a white tank with tan short and caramel color gladiator style sandals withmylime greenshoulderstrap purse.

What followed was one of the deepest conversations I've had aboutmydressing in a long time. She is a Job Development Coordinator with the Becker County Development Center who places developmentallychallenged individuals into jobs,so she definitelyhas a soft spot for people that are different. I will admit there was both laughter and tears shed in the hour we were together andshe promisedshe would tryand help her hubbybe a bit more understanding of what I do.

Just goes toshow you, its usuallythe people you've known the longest that have the toughest time dealing with changes to an old friend.

Judy Lynn 23

Módhnóirí.. A FOLLOWUO TO MYARTICLE

THREE IS COMPANY, FIVE IS A CROWD!

BY: BARBARA M DAVIDSON

As I mentioned in my last article Three is Company, Five is A Crowd, here is the feed back from Dr Yancey’s Psychology class. It will be sometimes in November before the next Class is given although Georgia Southern starts it fall term On the 15th of August…

Summer 2017 Speaker Feedback I liked the presentation.I enjoyed listening to individuals from all over the spectrumandI applaud their vulnerability. They showa lot of grace when people asked stupid and offensive questions.

They did a great job!It was such a cool experience for me. I do want to learn more about trans people. Christine’s story was so inspiringand I would love to meet more people like her.

I liked the guest speakers a lot. Maybe they could come with commonly asked questions, because I think some people were scared to ask questions.

I think our guest speakers could provide more information in general, because questions from students don’t always cover important information. The handout was good, but I imagine most people are too lazy to read it. I liked hearing theirstories; a personal view on topics like this are very important so people can see things in a real life way.

I liked how they were honest and open from the beginning. Nothing really to change; they did great.

I reallyappreciated the time taken out of everyone’s day to come speak to us.I loved and learned a lot about the spectrum. Thank you!

I liked the presentation. It was very informational and interesting. I don’t think anything needs to be changed.

Itwas interesting.I learned something new.

Provided good information, answered questions well, gave a different perspective on the issue. It may help to explain some of the vocabulary better forsome people who don’t know. 24 I thought the guest speakers shared a lot ofinformation that was somewhat new to me.

I personallyenjoyed yourpresentation.Itwas very helpful to hear yourstories abouthow yourlives changed and the hardships you experienced. Being able to listen to your experiences gave me a chance to put myselfin your shoes. I enjoyed the presentation overall. Thanks for coming!

At first I didn’t agree with anything, but after hearing the backstory, I opened up more to it.

I enjoyed it. I thought it was a good introduction and chance for people to ask questions about gender identity. I do think next time people askabout pronouns, they/them pronouns can be mentioned because they are a good gender neutral option to use when you aren’t sure whatis pre- ferred until you have the opportunity to ask.

I reallyenjoyed the presentations.I think they were really specific and very open about their lives and how different theirexperiences have been. It was really cool how they explained the spectrum and how drag queens weren’t on the spectrum (that was funny!). I also liked how some were cross dressers and some were transgender. I especiallyfound itinteresting that one of the ladies had a brother who was now a sister and they attributed it to a drug in the 40s for morning sickness! They were awesome!

An Interview with Judy Garland Impersonator David DeAlba

The interview is now Live via Celebrity Radio & YouTube

http://www.celebrityradio.biz/david-de-alba-interview/ 25 Tasi’s Musings, September, 2017 Greetings from Merida

The residents of Mérida love Progreso. At Easter and in the summer months, Progreso is anything but laid-back … thousands of Meridanos flock to their homes away from home and swim, eat, drink, and dance. Before and after those busy times Progreso reverts to its other personality, peaceful but just busy enough to suit most visitors, and the homes owned by the Mérida residents are available for rent.

The beaches of Progreso are clean and the water a lovely emerald green (except at times during the winter months when the winds and tides of “nortes” stir up the water and toss seaweed on shore). There is also no undertow to speak of, which means it is a pleasure to swim there. Many of the restaurants on the seaside promenade, the “malecón”, have tables on the sand and will serve you there. What could be better than freshly grilled fish and a cold beer under a swaying palm tree…heavenly!

As predicted, this month has been the best of summer vacations and the penultimate weekend was the busiest for Yucatan’s beaches, where the largest number of local, regional and national visitors were concentrated. sales increased in general in this holiday season, between 5% and 7%.

Plan to visit Merida and the wonderful beaches of Progreso in November 2018 for Magic in Merida.

In the News

LGBTQ Legal Groups On the Offensive (http://gaycitynews.nyc/lgbtq-legal-groups- offensive/) LGBTQ legal groups last week went on the offensive, filing important new lawsuits seeking injunctions against government discrimination.

GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR) sued Donald Trump and Defense Department officials on August 9, attempting to put a halt to the president’s attempt to ban open military service by 26 transgender people.

The following day, Lambda Legal sued the City of Houston, seeking to vindicate the same-sex marriage rights of city employees, who are mired in state court litigation about whether their spouses are entitled to equal benefits. Click the link for full details. These are important issues,

Lambda Legal Sues Education, Justice Depts. Over Attack on Trans Youth (https:// www.advocate.com/transgender/2017/8/23/lambda-legal-sues-education-justice-depts- over-attack-trans-youth) Lambda Legal has filed a federal lawsuit against the U.S. Departments of Education and Justice, demanding that they release documents related to the withdrawal of guidelines on how schools should treat transgender students.

The departments “pulled the rug out from under transgender students, leaving them even more vulnerable to harassment and abuse. We need to know why,” said Susan Sommer, associate legal director and director of constitutional litigation at Lambda Legal, in a press release.

Big Business Crushes Anti-Trans Campaign in Texas (http://www.thedailybeast.com/ big-business-crushes-anti-trans-campaign-in-texas) Corporate America, usually associated with the right-wing, leapt to the defense of LGBT people again and if you have been following the campaign by a right wing coalition in the Texas legislature, you will understand the importance of this effort…the defeat of all five anti-transgender bills proposed in a special session convened by Governor Greg Abbott. We need to be doing this at the national level too

Yelp takes stance on transgender rights, offering new feature (http:// fox17online.com/2017/03/04/yelp-takes-stance-on-transgender-rights-offering-new- feature/) Users of ratings and review platform Yelp can sort businesses based on location, price points, and reviews and soon you’ll be able to find which businesses offer gender- neutral bathrooms. The company announced a new feature that will tell users which businesses have bathrooms that offer a single, locking stall that are available to any gender.

Businesses can self-report the availability of these bathrooms and customers can also indicate them. The company plans to have enough data on the bathrooms in a few weeks to enable search result filtering based on it. That means Yelp users will be able to search specifically for businesses that offer gender-neutral bathrooms. 27 Gender norms are still important for women's choice of college major (https:// www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170817100712.htm) New study suggests a relationship between how much women conform to feminine norms and their choice of college major. The study was motivated by the persistence of gender segregation in terms of college major choices, despite the tremendous strides that have been taken by young US women in their overall level of educational attainment and representation in the workplace. What would ypu expect the results to be. Read on…click the link.

Why is the self-righteous set so persistently dishonest about transgender access? (http://www.slowlyboiledfrog.com/2017/08/why-is-self-righteous-set-so.html). At the ultra-orthodox Catholic LifeSiteNews Chretien asks the rhetorical question (and answer): “Should men go in the girls’ restroom? This mom says no way.” That is a compound lie. This is about school access. Chretien's intent is to suggest that adult men will be using girls' facilities. The second part of the lie is that this isn't about men or boys. This is about whether transgender girls should have access to the girls' restroom. The third part of the lie deals with scale. This isn't about innumerable people but about accommodating one or two kids who are vulnerable, fragile and already stressed to the limit. Click the link to read about all the lies and how to respond to them.

Children recognize they’re ‘transgender’ by age 2 (https://www.lifesitenews.com/ news/children-recognize-theyre-transgender-by-age-2-psychologist) Diane Ehrensaft of the University of California San Francisco (UCSF) advocates for “gender fluidity.” In an interview with the Associated Press, Ehrensaft proclaimed, “We expect a two-year-old to know ‘I am boy.’ ‘I am girl.’ So why can’t that also apply to transgender children?” “Do a weekend as a different gender, and see what you learn,” said Olson-Kennedy, who is the medical director of The Center for TransYouth Health and Development at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles. And parents across the nation are putting Ehrensaft’s and Olson- Kennedy’s child-altering ideas into practice. Click the link to learn more about these ideas in practice.

Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters (http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/not-all-trans-folks-dysphoria/)I remember talking with a friend of mine who is transgender with the assumption that we both experienced dysphoria, which is the distress or discomfort that occurs when the gender someone is assigned does not align with their actual gender. As they discussed dysphoria, her friend said. “Well, I don’t…” Kai paused. “Don’t judge me or anything, but like, I don’t experience dysphoria.” I had never heard of a transgender person not experiencing some kind of dysphoria. But there they were, right in front of me. Read on for this important revelation that really is representative of a large portion of the crossdressing community. 28 Books, Movies, Theater, and Television

‘Transparent’ Renewed by Amazon for Season 5 (https://www.yahoo.com/tv/ transparent-renewed-amazon-season-5- 132033905.html) Season 5 will begin production next year and is slated to premiere on Amazon Prime Video in 2018. “Over the past few seasons the Pfeffermans have gone across the world, back in time and made many, many trips to the deli,” said Joe Lewis, head of Comedy, Drama and VR, Amazon Studios. “We’re so excited to see what magic Jill and the incredible team bring to this always groundbreaking series in Season 5.”

Netflix picks up trans activist Marsha P. Johnson's story (http:// www.pridesource.com/article.html?article=82158) "The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson," the most recent project from acclaimed documentary filmmaker David France (Academy Award-nominated for "How To Survive a Plague") will be getting a global platform with Netflix. The streaming service has picked up the film, where it will debut for audiences later in the year. Johnson was a trans woman and self-described "street queen" of New York's gay population in the late 1960s. Alongside Sylvia Rivera, she co-founded STAR (Street Transvestites Action Revolutionaries), the first trans activist organization. Her death by apparent homicide in 1992 was ignored by law enforcement, and France's film (for which the director worked alongside transgender consultants) ollows investigators working to piece together information about the crime, as well as providing an overview of Johnson and Rivera's groundbreaking work on behalf of gender- nonconforming people and trans people of color, who remain disproportionately targeted for violence during the Trump era. "Death and Life" recently screened at New York's Tribeca Festival and Los Angeles' Outfest, is a moving tribute to this important figure in LGBT history, and we can't wait to add it to our streaming queue.

Transgressing Gender in the Bible (http://lgbtweekly.com/2017/05/25/transgressing- gender-in-the-bible/) Bible scholar and actor Peterson Toscano, in his film Transfigurations – Transgressing Gender in the Bible, explores through performance and lecture, five figures in the Bible who didn’t fit stereotypical gender norms of their time, and many not even ours. Transfigurations – Transgressing Gender in the Bible was just released on DVD. 29 I was raised in Evangelical and Pentecostal traditions where I wasn’t taught to see my transgender self in the Bible. With socially conservative Christian dogma being that transgender people are not of God, it’s important to note there are gender variant people in the Bible where God worked through them.

Georgia filmmaker premieres new LGBT documentary, ‘Chasing Capri’ (https://thegavoice.com/ georgia-filmmaker-premieres-new- lgbt-documentary-chasing-capri/) LGBT activist Capri Culpepper is the subject of a new documentary by Georgia filmmaker Caleb Holland, which premieres today on Vimeo. “I think it will spark conversation and https://youtu.be/Fpa6VauAtZc hopefully bring together people who might not know about the trans journey or might not know about LGBTQ experience,” Holland said. “A huge part of the message of the film is we should seek to understand each other and to really listen to each other.” See the trailer above.

Fashion

'Project Runway' is breaking barriers in body inclusivity with new season (https:// www.usatoday.com/story/life/entertainthis/2017/08/16/project-runway-breaking-barriers- body-inclusivity-tim-gunn-season-16/571249001/) Tim Gunn has been asking this semi-rhetorical question about plus-size fashion for years. The longtime Project Runway mentor and former Liz Claiborne chief creative officer is on a mini-crusade to remedy the lack of body inclusivity in the industry — the lingering disparity of designer garments in sizes above a 12.

"That’s my challenge to the industry," he says. "Women want choices, they want to be able to just decide for themselves what they want to wear instead of having a limited number of items they can choose." 30 Gunn won a major victory with Season 16 of the Lifetime designer competition series (premiering Thursday, 8 ET/PT), which includes models who range from sizes 0 to 22 for the first time in its 13 -year history. Models are assigned to contestants by judges and the production staff, and they're rotated frequently, so all are met with a variety of body types through weekly challenges.

What does this mean for us? Designers are now pressured to design clothes for the plus- size women and that means most of us.

Humor The Devil Wears Drag, a parody on “the Devil Wears Prada https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BqZSq4KScI

Prank: Mom Forces her Son to Dress as a Girl https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=LbwkGpi0Jt4

So until next month, Hugs……Tasi 31 Humor

National Orgasm Day A guy turns to his wife in bed and whispers, "Did you know it's National Orgasm Day?"

"Oh, what a pity," she said, "Right in the middle of National Headache Week." 32 Angels In The Centerfold

Alli Taylor

Colette Brown 33 Angels In The Centerfold Francine

Suzanne W. jeffries 34 Angels In The Centerfold

Pamela

Rhea Campbell 35 Angels In The Centerfold

Tammy Trueheart 36 Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks

Welcome to September, girls! The very last days of summer are upon us...where did it go? Alas, we can't hold onto the sun forever, and so fall is arriving. For some of us, this isn't a bad thing; now is when we can start pulling the boots out again, and the sweaters and cute colder weather outfits. And of course, the great holiday Halloween is just around the corner!

How has your month been? For me, it's been wonderful. I've been promoted to a training position at my job, which comes with a healthy boost in pay. I'm all about that! Of course, with greater pay comes greater responsibility, but this chick isn't shy regarding that.

The salon life isn't slacking either; I'm actually picking up more clients as the days go by. I've been enjoying the success in all of my endeavors by, you guessed it, getting myself out of debt. My goal is to get at least five of my financial obligations out of my life by the end of the year. I may be living a little more frugally to make this happen, but I have faith that I can do it.

As I MAY have mentioned once or twice in this column, I am a bit of a Chicago Cubs baseball fan. I'm pleased to be able to report that, as of this writing, my little bears are a full three games in the lead in their division, with about a month of baseball left to play before the playoffs. I'm hoping that they can not only hold on, but be a Dodger-killer (the Dodgers are, again as of this writing, the best team in the game). Fingers, toes, eyes, Fallopian tubes, and anything else I can cross are crossed...

Talk to me, ladies! Tell me about your month, or your favorite sports team, or your salon stories, or a great outing en femme, or share other news in general. You’re ALWAYS welcome to share tips and tricks, of course! Write to me at [email protected]. You can hit me up on Facebook; my username there is Mellissa Lynn. I ALWAYS answer any and all mail I get, so feel free to tell me about anything you want to chat about, be it a salon visit or transgender news, or whatever you like. And, as many of you know, if you send me a question or a tip or trick, you'll see your name in print in this column. I love hearing from you all, so send me that mail, girls!

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This is a tip I tried recently, based on an email sent to me by a reader named Kimberly. Kimberly told me that she does this all the time and gets the most amazing comments about her eyes! This is called tight-lining; it's a trick for making your lashes appear fuller and more lush. You'll need a liner brush 37 and, for best effect, a gel liner. What we're going to do is this: lift your upper lid and use the brush to place small dabs of gel between the roots of the lashes. When I tried this, I didn't really need mascara! Of course, I still used some, but that's just me...anyway! This tip worked amazingly well for me, and with just a little practice, should give you incredible results as well.

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Did you know that you could use coconut oil to get rid of dandruff? Yep! Dandruff is actually a form of a fungus, and coconut toil is a marvelous natural antifungal agent. It's also great for soothing that nasty itching! To make this wonder of nature work for you, jut give yourself a good scalp massage with coconut oil, give it about twenty minutes to do its thing, and shampoo as usual.

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A sharp eyeliner can be tricky to pull off if you aren’t a pro with it. For an easier time when applying, take a piece of regular tape and put it on your skin. You'll want the tape to be not very sticky. Place the tape on your eye in such a way that when you remove it, it won’t tug at the skin. Angling the tape along the places that you want your eyeliner to be, create as clean a line as you can. Remember, girls, this doesn't have to be perfect; when you remove the tape, you can clean up your line with a cotton swab.

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Have you ever been utterly frustrated at trying to find the perfect foundation for your skin? When you are finding a new foundation, it is easy to pick the wrong shade and color. Many women look for the best match possible by sweeping the foundation across their wrist or simply holding up the bottle to their face. Try this instead: take a swatch near the jawline and down part of the neck. Sample at least three different shades, and find the one that best seems to disappear into the skin for the ideal match. Remember to do this under the best possible light to get the very best results from your sampling!

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One of the hardest areas of your face to get to hold makeup is under the eyes. Between smeared mascara and wrinkled concealer, it's just a mess!. One way to get a longer-lasting makeup look int his area is to do some under-eye baking. What is baking, you ask? This is a fairly popular technique involving using powder to set your makeup in place. For our purposes here, use a colorless powder. Apply the powder liberally under the eyes and allow to set for five minutes while applying the rest of your makeup. Once you've finished, brush any excess off (carefully), and rock that look!

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Did you know that the amazing actress Audrey Hepburn famously separated her eyelashes with a pin, one by one, to make them so light and beautiful? It's true! To get your eyelashes fluttering in a way that doesn’t involve needles so close to your eye, try this instead. Find yourself an eyelash comb that will splay out the eyelashes after applying your mascara. You want to do it while the mascara is wet; this will let you avoid damaging your lashes. 38 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

If you want a smooth makeup look to last all day, try this trick instead of a setting spray. Apply your foundation and concealer as normal with a layer of thick powder over the top as a barrier. Once done, dunk your face in a bowl of ice water for thirty seconds, or as long as you can stand. Pat your face dry and continue with the rest of your makeup routine. You’ll find that your makeup will last for an entire day, without needing a lot of blotting or touching up.

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Do you envy the girls with the plump lips, and wish you had them yourself? Well, girls, is a way to fake that look. We need to find the lip line and work from it. You'll know when you do so; there isn't really a tip to help with this. When you do so, take a sharp lip liner that's close to your natural lip color and trace right outside of the lip line, so that half the line is within your lip color, and the rest on the outside. This may sound a bit picky, but is is a balancing act that gives a convincing illusion of thicker, plumper, luscious lips.

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Kerri, a Canadian reader, wrote in asking me to discuss the subject of light as it pertains to makeup. My loyal readers know that this is a sore subject with me; if you aren't under the best possible light doing your makeup, you just aren't going to get the best results. \

Whenever possible, use natural light to do your makeup. Instead of using a bathroom mirror or traditional vanity light, get set up by a window with a mirror. You'll find that your makeup outcome looks a bit different than it does under artificial light. Especially avoid working under traditional filament light bulbs whenever possible; they cast a yellow light that will radically alter your look! Fluorescent lights aren't as bad, but can cast a bit of a blue hue to your ambient light.. Natural light is always the best to use for a true match and beautiful results. I hope this helps you, Kerri!

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I tend to have a bit of a blue hue under my eyes, even under natural lighting. I do a bit of color correction to help with this before I apply any other makeup. For myself, I tend to use a paler yellow color corrector, but many people will find that the right color is going to be peach. You'll sweep the color corrector under the eyes to counter the tint of the blue tones, let the corrector dry, then apply your normal concealer color as usual. This process will give you a much more flawless appearance.

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Fuller-looking, natural eyebrows are a trend that's being widely embraced by the beauty community. For those born with sparse brows or who have lived through the thin, plucked brow era, this is easier said than done. Here's a method to spruce those brows up!

All you'll require is a dab of clear vegetable soap, some water, and a spoolie. Apply the soap and the water to the spoolie, and, brushing upwards, apply this to your brows. Let the mixture dry a bit, then fill your brows in with powder or a fine liner , using hair-like strokes. Your brows will be on point! 39 @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Long, curled eyelashes make for a lovely frame around the eyes. Sadly, few of us have naturally long, curled eyelashes. What to do? Use your eyelash curler. Many women are afraid of this tool, and with good reason; it can be painful if not used properly. The results of a properly used curler, though, can be fantastic!

Pro tip: heat the curler with your hair dryer for a moment before using; don't let it get too hot! After heating, hit your lashes in three places: the base, the center, and the tips. Try to remember to do this before applying mascara; it makes for much less mess. After curling, apply your mascara as usual.

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There is hair that we want, such as what's on our heads, and our lashes and brows. The brows are a good example of this on the face. Even just one or two stray hairs can distract from an otherwise flawless look. However, plucking hairs is a painful and tedious process that no woman that I know enjoys. Rather than just trying to pluck hairs out willy-nilly, it is key to first take a shower or steam your face. Once the skin is more subtle and soft, tweezing will become a lot less painful and easier to endure.

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Powder eyeshadow is dominating the beauty scene, ladies. It's the cheapest to pick up, and the easiest to apply. But! Powder eyeshadows can add quite a bit of texture to any eyelid that has less than perfect skin. For a prettier appeal that is quick, an application of a cream eyeshadow that isn’t perfect and a little messy is much more flattering, time sav- ing, and good for the natural upcoming trends. Be sparing in your application; though; cream shadows can go quite a ways on a light application!

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Well! We've reached the end of our time together already. This saddens me...but then I remember that we'll be together again in October, discussing the all-important day at the end of the month.

I want to take a moment to wish my US readers a great Labor Day. I have a three-day weekend, personally, and I'm 40 completely looking forward to enjoying it. What do I have planned for the time off? NOT. A. THING!!! I'm gonna stay home and be lazy, and I'm good with that.

Talk to me, lovely ladies! Share your last days of summer stories stories, or how you've prepared for fall's approach, or a concert you've attended, or any other story you'd like to share! In fact, if you want, you can write to tell me about your month, or about your funny rainy-day experiences, or share pictures or tips or tricks, or looks you've achieved!

Sending me mail is the easiest thing in the world to do, girls, and I love hearing from you all. You can send it to my e-mail at [email protected]; as you know, my inbox is always open! You can also hit me up on Facebook; my name there is Mellissa Lynn.

I’ll talk to you all again next month, with a whole column of tips and tricks. Until then, be safe and be beautiful! 41 Seven Stylish Ways to Protect Your Shoes and Feet in the Rain

By Bridgette Raes Accessories Expert

Have you ever been caught out in the rain wearing shoes you just can't get wet? Here are seven stylish ways to protect your shoes and feet in the rain from casual to dress.

1. GoGoGolosh It seems we have two options when it comes to wearing shoes in the rain, both unsightly. We can ruin our nice shoes or abandon fashion and embrace utility. The first option is expensive and the other, typically rubber boots, don't flatter a well crafted outfit.

GoGo Golosh has solved this issues because they thought it was time to have a stylish option for foul weather footwear. Made of 100% waterproof nylon, rubber soles with non-slip tread and bullet proof insoles, so the heels of your shoes don't puncture through the outer soles, GoGo Goloshes are made for heels, not flats or sneakers, but they do accommodate a variety of heel heights and toe shapes.

2. SWIMS You may be familiar with SWIMS for their galoshes designed specifically for men. Did you know they also make super cute waterproof loafers for women that are so chic you'll actually wish for rainy days so you can wear them.

SWIMS was founded in Oslo, Norway in 2006 and breathed new life into the galosh of decades ago that were dated and, let's just say it, sort of dorky. They started off with the simple idea of transforming the galosh, a purely practical utility product to a classy and branded lifestyle item with a bold personality. Therefore it makes sense that they would introduce a pair of waterproof loafers for women that don't even look like rain shoes. 3. Stylish ShoeCover by Grace Carter Getting from point a. to point b. when it is raining can be a total pain in the you-know-what, especially when you are working and need to look professional.

Stylish ShoeCover by Grace Carter is a viable solution worth considering. Not only to these shoe covers protect heels from rain they also work in snow. What's better is the stretchy fabric with a super-traction- 42 tread outsole can be unzipped, folded and stored in your pursed.

Unlike GoGo Goloshes, these stylish ShoeCovers aren't as uni- versal and are offered in three different styles; high heel pointy toes and high heell round toes heels. However, if you are looking for shoe covers for flats, you can get them here.

4. UUStar Foldable Rainboots

While, perhaps, not the most elegant of rain shoe covers, these reusable rainboots from UUStar are perfect in an emergency. Picture it, you're stuck having to literally wade through a rain storm. You aren't wearing waterproof shoes and find yourself seriously considering putting plastic bags over your shoes. You wouldn't be the first. These foldable rainboots are definitely a better alternative. You can just fold them up and keep them in your bag.

5. Winko Reusable Rain Covers for Heels

If you are looking for something to cover your heels in the rain that easily fold in your purse and is one step up than the crude plastic bag solution, Winko makes high performace waterproof PVC fabric and thicken Nonslip Rubber Bottom rain covers. They are transparent, easy to put on and take off and have elasticity around the ankles to they can be adjusted.

6. Aquatalia Perhaps not the cheapest alternative, Aquatalia offers the finest combination of fashion, comfort and technology available in footwear. While Aquatalia is well known for their stylish winter boots, all their shoes are actually waterproof and stain resistant. Aquatalia is a line of luxury footwear that is also credited as the very first weatherproof and stain resistant fashion footwear.

Functional Luxury best defines Aquatalia’s innovative designs. Kate Middleton even wear thems. While trends are always a factor, the guiding elements behind every style are ease, functionality and meticulous Italian craftsmanship. 43 7. Totes

When you think Totes you probably think umbrellas. But did you know that the company offers a wider range of rain wear products, including shoes. If you are interested in shoe covers for the rain and don't want to spend a fortune either. Totes make these super sweet ballerina flats that are totally portable. They're lightweight, flexible and comfortable so you can wear them all day long while also being foldable and packable if you prefer not to. The 100% waterproof with a high natural rubber content that fits like a glove and stretches with the foot. Perfect for casual rainy days.

8. Don't forget waterproof spray

Don't forget, there is always waterproof spray you can use on your favorite shoes, particularly styles made of suede. The spraymaynot make them completelywaterproof or give them the abilityto stay dry in puddles, but theywill protect them from stains and slight damage.

What’s the Best Style to Hide Your… In March 1976, Diane von Furstenberg landed on the cover of Newsweekmagazine where they proclaimed her, “The most marketable designer since Coco Chanel.”

Why? Because her jersey wrap dress, which she'd introduced just two years earlier, had sold more than 5 million copies. It lookedso good on so manydifferent bodytypes that women just couldn't get enough. Wrap dresses flew out of stores as Diane von Furstenberg laughed all the way to the bank.

Adiagonal line. That's all it was. But it's one of the most flattering lines in fashion.

It makes tall women look shorter and busty women look less so. It visually creates a waist yet minimizes tummies. Tall, short, student, retiree – it works wonders on almost any figure. If there really is such thing as a style that “looks good on everybody,” the surplice (or wrap) style would be it.

It's kind of like Vi.agra. That medicine was originally created to treat the heart condition angina by relaxing the arteries 44 and increasing blood flow. But during the trial studies, doctors discovered that male test subjects had a higher-than-average compliance rate in taking the drugs on schedule – far higher than the female testsubjects. When theystarted asking why, theylearned the answer: it relaxed the arteries everywhere and offered temporary relief from ED. It's become one of the most popular medicines in modern history because it solves a common problem.

Much like the wrap dress. It started out as a trendynew style. But the diagonal line is so flattering onsomanybody shapes that everyone and hermother (literally) jumped on the wrap dress bandwagon. It was one of the most popular looks of the 1970s and remains a favorite to this day.

So what other lines and styles look good on most women? It depends on your body. Straight lines can make you look taller and leaner. Curved lines can make you look softer and rounder. Asymmetrical lines can give you the illusion of height. The listgoes on and on.

One of the keys to dressing well is to learn which lines and styles look best on YOU. Once you find them, you can stop looking at clothes that don't work as well. It makes shopping and dressing so much easier.

So where's the best place to start your quest?

This resource can help. It breaks it down bybodytype so you know ex- actlywhich lines andstyles suit you best.

Are there any other one-size-fits all styles?

NotthatIcan think of. Maybe a new wunderkind will pop up one dayto show us the way,but for now, the surplice style will have to do. If you don't have a few in your closet, maybe you should. You can thank Diane von Furstenberg for pointing the way.

Until Next Time,

Diana Pemberton-Sikes FashionForRealWomen.com 45 Tasi’s Fashion News

Style Inspiration From The Girl Next Door Style inspiration comes from many places, but it was Doris Day, who was certainly seen as the “girl next door” inmanyof her movies, that the average woman could relate to. While we point to Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn as the image ofthe 50s,itwas Doris that could really do it all. A superb actress, a dancer, and a singer, she made 39 movies over a 20 year span with virtuallyall of Hollywood’s leading actors, 100s of songs (Que Sera Sera being my favorite) and a dancer, particularly in many of her earlier movies in those somewhat frilly musicals produced by Warner Brothers.

However, it was 1959’s Pillow Talk that was hermost influentialmovie of all time from the standpoint of style. It is decidedlymodern–as accessible as it is aspirational. It is also quintessential Doris Day. It was hermove to Universal Studies whereshe finallyhad the opportunityto playindependent women in sophisticated sexcomedies. Pillow Talk was the first. With her strength andstyle, she became a rolemodel for a new generation of women who were working both in and outside the home.

The signature piece of her wardrobe was the sheath dress (or wiggle dress, as it is often called for its flattering fit and the waywomen seemed to walk while wearing it). It became hugely popular because of this film and virtuallysynonymous with Doris Daystyle. Sheath dresses and colorful clothes existed before her, of course, but no one would make them as much a part of their image as she did. Besides her own talent, much of her transformation into the role of urbansophisticate is due to the vision of Jean Louis, her costume designer (more below).

In Pillow Talk, Doris plays interior designer Jan Morrow, a career gal who proves that a work wardrobe need notsuffer in the style department. It was the first of her films working with Jean (along with three-time co-star Rock Hudson) and really marked a turning point for her. “He created a sophisticated allure for Doris that launched a new phase of her career,” wrote journalist Tom Vallance. With this wardrobe, Jean highlighted her phenomenal figure with tailored wiggle dresses and brought out the sexualityin her virginal onscreen persona. Friend James Garner–who starred with her in The Thrill of It All –said Doris “exuded sex” while still maintaining her image of the All American Girl. To be sure, she carries off each costume with the grace of a runway model and the bodyof an athlete. 46 “The Doris Look” and the lessons we learn from her are attributable to her costume designer. Jean’s overarching style for his stars was sleek and simple, but elegant. He paid “meticulous attention to detail,” yet nothing superfluous ever complicated his designs. It’s for these reasons that his clothes remain so timeless today. Costumes in these lavish productions really showed Jean’s gift with color. It was one of his great talents. Cream and red, royal blue and black, kelly green and turquoise, and red and leopard skin are just some of the color combinations featured in Pillow Talk. “He had the most amazing discerning eye for color,” recalls his daughter-in-law Linda Lewis. “It was a 6th sense for him.” In a couple cases, colors come from the statement jewelrythat Jean integrates into those outfits. He also incorporates luxuri- ous fabrics like fur to evoke even more glamour where coats, capelets, hats, and hand warmers all appear as accessories.

The colors, the fabrics, and the design all bring us the romance of the 50s and 60s styles and they indeed are timeless. The appeal of her clothes comes from their body conscious silhouettes and the fact that theyare fit to perfection. This made their design extremely accessible and the wardrobe inspired manywomen when the film first premiered in 1959–from secretaries to housewives as it does today. Doris evolved into a fashion icon and continues to set the trends today through current designers like Michael Kors. Doris has clearly had an impact on fashion both then and now and as such is included on the elite list of The Style Essentials. Here then is some style inspiration to be learned from Doris.

Go Bright and Bold No matter the era, Day was never afraid to wear something bright and bold, like this super mod polka dot dress and matching head scarf. The next time you reach for your all black ensemble, consider adding a pop of color to brighten your (Doris) day.

Channel Your Inner Parisian Girl If ever in a style conundrum, it’s always a good idea to ask yourself: what would a French girl do? Even Doris Day knows the importance of capturing that enviable je ne sais quoi those French girls just ooze from their Riviera-sun-soaked bodies.

Wrap Dresses Never Go Out of Style Especially in sweater dress form. With a killer cowlneck. 47 Accentuate Your Eyes with a Matching Ensemble Even if your eyes aren’t brilliantly blue, learn how to dress to highlight your pretty peepers. Blue, green and hazel- eyed-gals, consider wearing green, blue and teal tones. Brown-eyed-girls — you don’t have to stick to brown sweaters and shirts. Opt for gold tones or accessories to help accentuate your eyes.

Don’t Be Afraid of Sequins and Sparkle Sequins and sparkle embellishments aren’t just for grandmas. They’re perfectly stylish as long as you keep it tasteful.

Diamonds Will Always Be a Girl’s Best Friend No matter what they say about diamonds, do not be ashamed to admit that they’re your favorite accessory of choice.

Need more style inspiration. Here are a few more examples of Doris’ sophisticated style. Also check are Pinterest board on the 50s styles. 48 Doris introduced the midi skirt in the early 70s where it was met with a warm response – especially from men

Checkout Modcloth for that Doris Daylook. For those vin- tage undergarments, take a look at Herroom and What Katy Did.

About Tasi Zuriack: Tasi is transgendered, married, and a lifelong crossdresser. She’s the founder of the Ladies of the Blue Ridge transgender group in Roanoke VA, a prolific writer, commentator and blogger including fashion articles for Tri-Ess, TG Reporter, Repartee, and Pretty T-Girls magazine. Tasi currently resides in Merida, (Yucatan) Mexico. Her new website, Sister House and her blog, the Fashionable TG Woman are dedicated to fashion and style for the transgendered woman. Please visit her. Tasi’s new book, "Top Ten Fashion Mistakes By Crossdressers and How To Fix Them" is available on Amazon or on her site free to subscribers. 49

How to Walk in Heels: 7 Dos and Don’ts for Crossdressers and Transgender Women ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl) who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help T-women express their inner and outer femininity and increase their confidence as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and natural healing and has been working with the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with useful information and is located at http://www.flat2fem.com/ index1.html .

A gorgeous pair of heels instantly makes you feel slimmer, sexier, and more femi- nine.

The trick, of course, is walking in them!

Walking in heels is definitely a skill – and it’s something a lot of women (including genetic women) struggle with.

Ready to perfect your sexy strut?

The first step is to learn these 7 dos and don’ts for crossdressers and transgender women:

1. DO walk heel-to-toe

The biggest mistake you can make in heels is placing your entire foot down at once. Or worse yet,walking in a toe- to-heel pattern.

This makes it look like you are “clomping” rather than walking. 50 Instead, walk heel-to-toe. Place your heel down first, followed by your toe. This will make your walk look as smooth and natural as possible.

2. DO take smaller steps

Wearing heels naturally shortens your stride. The higher the heel, the shorter your steps will be.

Don’t try to fight this! Instead, take shorter, more frequent steps as you walk.

3. DON’T lean forward or back

Heels change your balance, so you need to be careful not to lean forward or back when you walk. Your weight should stay centered and lifted.

Imagine you are a puppet with a string attached to the top of your head. Picture the string pulling you up as you walk, giving you a regal and ladylike air.

4. DO place one foot in front of the other

Have you ever noticed that runway models look like they are walking on an invisible tightrope?

Placing one foot in front of the other as you walk makes your steps more feminine. It also gives your hips a sexy sway!

The trick is not to overdo it. You should also avoid the temptation to look down at your feet to be sure they are lining up.

Instead, focus on keep your legs together. If you feel your thighs brushing together, your feet will naturally cross over just a little bit. 51 5. DON’T go too high

Not surprisingly, 5” stilettos are a lot harder to walk in than 3” pumps.

Start low and work yourway up. A good place to begin is with a heel that is 2-3” tall. This will allow your ankles to develop the strength needed to support you.

Once you’ve mastered that, you can move onto the skyscraper stilettos you’ve been coveting.

6. DO relax your legs

Another common mistake is to tense your legs and lock your knees when you walk in heels. This gives you a stiff, ro- botic look that is very unsexy.

Instead, keep the legs and hips relaxed. The knees should have a slight bend, which will help the hips sway.

7. DON’T forget to practice

The time to test your heel walking skills isn’t when you’re out and about. Be sure to spend a lot of time wearing them around the house before you make your big debut.

As you practice, cover all of the real- world skills you’ll need to master, including:

Walking Turning around Standing Sitting down Getting into and out of a car Walking up and down stairs 52 How to Overcome Envy and Comparison By: Lucille Sorella

Do you ever compare yourself to cisgender women? Or girls who are further along on their feminine journeys?

Have you ever looked at somebody else’s life or looks and thought… why can’t I have that?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s only human to feel jealous or envious from time to time. But it sure doesn’t feel good! And it can keep you from reaching your own goals. So how can you deal with these feelings?

Read on to discover 5 ways to overcome envy and comparison.

1. Realize that you don’t see the full picture

It’s easy to feel inadequate when looking at somebody’s flawless photos on Facebook. The Internet is the ultimate “envy amplifier,” but there are a couple things you should keep in mind:

Most people show an idealized version of themselves online. The photos you’re looking at might be Photoshopped or use flattering filters. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just know they’re not a reflection of somebody’s 24/7 reality.

You have no idea what’s happening behind the scenes. Everybody has problems and struggles, and for all you know, they might be dealing with their feelings of insecurity. Remember that the next time you scroll through social media!

2. Be inspired

When we envy somebody, it’s a sign that they have something we want for our- selves. That in itself isn’t a bad thing. Instead of letting somebody else’s good looks or success make you feel bad, let it inspire you to reach for the same. Set a realistic goal and channel your energy towards achieving it. Taking positive action feels amazing, so this can be a great way to turn things around.

3. Get a life

This might sound harsh, but I say it with love. If you find yourself spending a lot of time sitting around and comparing yourself to 53 others, it’s easy to get caught in negative thought loops. Quite simply, you need to spend less time in your head and more time out living your fabulous life! If you’re busy having fun, making friends, and exploring new activities, there’s no time to obsess about others. Problem solved!

4. Surround yourself with positive people

Are you surrounded by people who constantly complain about how unfair life is? Or who are always trying to outdo each other like a bunch of teenage girls? Those thought patterns are contagious, so the best thing you can do is find better people to be around: People who are happy, positive, and grateful. I realize there are people you can’t cut out completely (like family), but look for positive outlets. Explore Meetup groups, support groups, or positive forums or Facebook groups.

5. Appreciate yourself

One of my favorite sayings goes: Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own. The best way to overcome envy is to shift the focus back to yourself and every- thing that makes YOU special, unique, and beautiful. It’s not like there’s a limited supply of beauty or success out there, so keep re- minding yourself of your own strengths and attributes. Is this trite advice? Maybe. Does it work? ABSOLUTELY.

How do YOU deal with envy and comparison?

It’s normal to feel jealous or envious from time to time. But the sooner you get over it and put the focus back on your own life and goals, the better! Because the truth is, girlfriend, YOU are amazing! 54 For Wives and Significant Others of Transsexuals A little while back, I received an email from the spouse of a transsexual. She wanted to know if it really was possible to keep a relationship together through transition. She asked some hard and thought-provoking questions, and I felt that I owed her the best response that I could give. What follows addresses a lot of issues. There is not enough support in our community for wives and significant others of cross-dressers, but the support for wives and significant others of transsexuals seems almost non-existent. This doesn't address all of the issues; particular items that are missing are coming-out issues, repairing broken trust, and dealing with children. I hope that someone, someday, can address these remaining issues in some useful way.

This is one of the hardest of all the issues related to transsexuals. I wish there were some magic Icould give you,but there isn'tanythat Iknow of.I'm also notsure thatI'm the best person to answer this, because I've learned again and again that I've been extraordinarly lucky in this area.

Is it really possible to keep your marriage? Yes, absolutely. People will tell you that the odds are not good, but the fact that you're still there and still working to keep what you have has already improved those odds tremendously. There are no guarantees, but that includes no guarantee of failure and divorce, as well. So much depends on each of you, what you are willing and able to accept,as well as whateach ofyou is able to give up,or to change.As in anything else about relationships, compromise and communication are essential. And compromise really does include both of you; some people have kept their marriages together by giving up transition, although that does require a lot of accommodation; it can't be "shelve the idea and forget about it." Bythe time it gets to the place where it sounds like the two of you are at, trying to suppress it could be extremelypainful. Other transsexuals, including me, have given up the option of surgery. Carol, my partner, simply couldn't answer how she would react to that, and for me, our relationship was worth more than that particular physical change. But there are others who could accept neither of these options, and some of them are still married. And if it doesn't work out? There will be no judgments, no condemnations from me; just empathy for a lot of deep pain on both sides. Not all of the factors that make this work out are controllable.

I should probablytell you about myown history, at least to set a context for what I say. I've beenmarried twice, and both times I feel that mygender issues mayhave contributed to divorce, but probably weren't the primary problem. I'm also an abuse survivor, and both my ex-wives were as well. It's not a situation that leads to stable, healthyrelationships. After my second divorce, I did a lot of therapyto deal with myissues, and came out of that much healthier emotionally--I liked myself, I was calmer and more tolerant, all of the things that therapyis supposed to help with, except that I still had this one issue that wouldn't go away. It was actuallythe first time inmylife that I had the abilityto face it.

It was during that time that I met Carol. At first I didn't want a relationship; I'd heard toomany horror stories, and I assumed that I'd have to go through transition alone. But as it became clear that Carol was veryinterested, I felt that the fair thing to do was to tell her, and let her make up her ownmind. So I did. And while it took her bysurprise, I wasn't the first transsexual she'd known, either. It took another couple of months of talking before she was ready to see me as Diane, but in the mean time our relationshipstarted gettingmuch moreserious. And 55 since that time, we really haven't had many problems.

Whyso easy? Alot of things, I think. Carol has known almost from the beginning. She's had to do her own healing as well, soshe was perhaps more prepared to deal with a hard issuesuch as this. We both have a very high tolerance for ambiguity. I think it has helped us both that I went through this without being in crisis mode. It helped that we were able to remain close emotionallyand affectionate throughout transition and after. It helped that I'd alreadydealt with myother issues before wemet. It helped that Carol didn't particularlywant a "real man" anyway, although she'd always been straight before our relationship began. It helped both of us to keep inmind that there was an end-point to all of this, that the turmoil and change would die down, and that this would not become or remain a dominating issue in our relationship. It helped that we both kept a sense of humor about all of this. It helped that neither of us are rigid about categorizing people.

One thing that Carol has remarked on is howmuch I changed, and at thesame time, how little I changed. In manyfundamental ways, I'm still the person that shemet and fell in love with originally. There have been moments when it's been hard for her to remember that, and I suspect that this is "normal." Part of those first few months of adaptation for Carol, the time between when she knew and whenshe "met" Diane, we looked at various aspects of where I was atthe time.One day,she looked atmymakeup kit.One dayshe wanted to look inmy closet; I showed her my clothes. When I came to one dress, she said that she really liked it, and I answered that I'd worn it to a Christmas party the year before. That ended that session! There came a point at whichshe wanted to stop thestep-by-step approach, and just go the rest of the way. So she watched as I went through the transformation. I put on makeup first; she said that I looked like "Tom in makeup." Then I put on my favorite dress, and the shock hit. She hadn't expected me to look feminine. I offered to change back immediately, but she said no. Instead, we sat and talked, until she could reassure herself that I was still me.

She's never had a problem with me dressing since then. Some wives do have problems sometimes, and want time set aside to be with theirman. This is something that maywork for you. It maywork onlyfor a while. It's one of those areas of compromise, and onlythe two of you can find the right answer for you.

In fact, outside of areas that I'll talk about later, Carol hasn't had a problem ever since that night I first dressed in her presence. That includes moving in together, and my transition a month later. That was almost two years ago, and we're still veryhappyand very close. In terms of howmuch and how little I've changed, it's worth going deeper into one area. As I said,I'd alreadydealtwith a lotofmyissues before ImetCarol.Once upon a time,Iwas a very closed, angry, depressed individual. Although this had roots in the abuse ofmychildhood, this description fits a lot of transsexuals as well. Carol never knew that person; she has always knownme as an open, tolerant, andsafe person. As a result, there was less aboutme that changed during transition than is true for manytranssexuals. For them, opening the door to the woman inside has lifted that cloud of anger and depression, has opened a closed person and let the light of living in.

Does this make a difference? Apparently it can. One couple that I truly thought had survived everything, up to and including surgery, broke up recently, less than a year after surgery. The 56 spouse didn't know her partner any more; there were traces of the man she knew, but not enough. Theymayend up getting back together, but right now it's all up in the air. Could this have been prevented? I don't know the answer. I don't know if anyone knows that particular answer. The only advice I can offer is to keep the communications open, and trying to find ways to keep pace with each other. That maymean faster than you want, and slower than your partner wants; it may be another of those areas for compromise, if things are to work out. OK, it's time to get into that verysensitive area of sexuality. Where Carol and I have had problems, this has been where they've happened.

I'm normally a very private person, but when it comes to support issues I'm usually very open. Whatever questions you maywant to ask in this area, I doubt that you'll offend me. If I need to maintain myboundaries, I will doso, but gently. But at the same time, you and I don't know each other,so I'll walk around this as carefullyas I can, whilestill giving you what I can that mayanswersome of your questions.

One issue that wives often raise is, "I'm not a lesbian." And that's true; anywoman who has been in a relationship with aman and has been even "reasonablysatisfied" with it is almost certainly not a lesbian. What can be harder to accept, especially from the person in the mirror, is bisexuality. We tend to like putting things in neat categories, and "bisexual" doesn't fit that way. What it amounts to is finding a balance point between being attracted to the person, and being attracted to their gender. For some bisexuals, gender doesn't matter; for others, gender is important but not limiting.

I mention this because it may very well become an issue for you. Carol has frequently said that she doesn't like men in any way except sexually. (This is part of bisexuality, too; social or romantic attractions may not necessarily line up with sexual attractions.) She has adapted fairly easilyto most of mychanges.

Although Carol recognizes the lesbian aspects of our relationship, she doesn't see it as a les- bian relationship, or herself as a lesbian. She describes our relationship as "other." It works for her, and it's OK with me.

It isn't talked about much directly, but myfeeling is that for a relationship to survive transition, the spouse probably has some degree of bisexuality, acknowledged or not. Someone guessed the other daythat there maybe around 150 to 250 legallymarriedsame-sexcouples in the U.S.; these would be marriages that have survived both transition and surgery. There are certainly more relationships that have survived, but those would include non-married couples and couples where the transsexual partner did not follow through all the way to surgery, for whatever reason. But as long as either transition or hormones are involved, it's hard to consider a relationship as still being purely heterosexual.

Hormones. Is that a scaryissue for you? I can believe that it would be. It's a hugelyimportant issue for us. You may hear of it largely in terms of breasts, but there's more to it than that. They make subtle changes in the face that make a huge difference in ability to pass as a woman. They cause loss of muscle mass and changes in fat distribution, also with affect on passability. There are emotional changes, including lower aggression and more emotional sensitivity. There are changes that are even more subtle and much harder to describe; there is a feeling of 57 "rightness" or of "coming home," a feeling of being at peace with one's self in a way that simply wasn't possible before. If a person is truly transsexual, hormones will (usually?) significantly reduce one's gender identity discomfort.

Hormones will have a huge impact onsexuality. Is this in anywaypredictable? Maybe, maybe not. All I can tell you about is myown experience and things I've heard from others; there are no studies to back up anyof this except on the issue of orientation, and I don't find those studies to be reliable.

Some people report a blossoming of sexuality. My feeling is that most of these people were probably close to being asexual before hormones. Some people report a complete loss of sexuality. I don't remember anyone saying this who was involved in a relationship; in my experience, this has come entirely from people who are not involved in relationships, and I do think this is significant. Some people, including me, have felt a huge change insexuality, and I'm fairlysure that everyperson who has said this has been either in a relationship or otherwise sexually active during the change.

What kind of change? Like trying to describe a color to someone who cannot see it (something I also have experience with, on the receiving end, unfortunately), I don't think there's anyway to describe what sexualityfeels like. What the change feels like to me is a change toward what I've always understood female sexuality to be like. It's less directly physical, more difuse, more oriented towards touch and communication, slower to build, slower to drop off. There's no more "grunt, roll over, snore." It has been a visible change, too; Carol is very much aware of it.

As I said, I think the fact that I'm in a relationship has an interaction here. This kind of sexuality is an incredible change from what I used to feel, and it is definitelyconnected with love and af- fection, much more thanmalesexuality. Would I have been able to detect mynewsexualityif I had not been in a relationship, particularlyafter a lifetime on testosterone? I reallydon't know. As I've mentioned, Carol did have some problems related to all of this. The easyone first: For quite a while, particularly when the surgery question was still open, she was concerned that I might want to experiment withmen. I was fairlysure that this wouldn't happen, and in fact I've had no interest in that area. But there was no waythat I could tell Carol that this would happen; it was simplya period of uncertaintythat she had to cope with. The onlyproof is in the living of it.

Some might disagree with this, but I tend to think that hormones don't have a significant affect on sexual orientation. I also think that the distribution ofsexual orientation is different for trans people than it is for the general population. You do see changes in people's expression of sexual orientation, but inmanyof these cases I think there was an underlying bisexualityto be- gin with, along with some social expectations or conformity. The people who have their first real sexual awakening with hormone therapyfit into this picture differently; perhaps it's fair to say that their orientation has been dormant as well. (And perhaps not!) But it is certainly true that there are a large number of us whose orientation never wavers.

(When speaking of trans people, I find it safer to talk about orientation in terms of "towards men" or "towards women." Saying that one is straight or gayimplies a fixed gender identitythat trans people don't have! In the usualsense, I used to bestraight and am now rather queer, but 58 I certainly haven't felt a change in my orientation.)

The more difficult problem that Carol and I had is also difficult to discuss delicately. Perhaps it is sufficient to say that there is a strong connection between testosterone and male sexual capability. Break that link and there are.... consequences. It hasn't been a complete loss, but nothing is reliable anymore. It came as a hugesurprise tome that Carol felt my loss more keenly than I did. It was another huge surprise that she had such a hard time dealing with my loss. It's something that wespent a lot of time talking about, and those talks weren't always easy. But we have adjusted, and as with other things, it hasn't been a continuing issue or source of turmoil.

That leads fairlydirectlyinto perhaps the most difficult of your questions. What happened to the malespouse you love? It's interesting that you phrase it that way; there is a significant difference between "male" and "man." This is one reason that I spent some time above relating myown historyto you; the man that I "thought I was" or that I "tried to be" disappeared by stages. And yet, a lot of those changes were due to dealing with anger and depression.

Underneath that pain was a kinder and gentler person. Aman? Awoman? Or justme?

This is also whyI mentioned that Carolsaid that somuch had changed about me, and so little. Fundamentally, transition changes one thing, and one thing only. Yes, it's huge, and it expands into everyarea of life. But the other things didn't change. I still have the same job and thesame friends. I still listen to the same music, read the same books, enjoy and cook the same kinds of food,express mylove and caring in thesame ways,andso on.Theman wentaway,and a woman took his place, but through all of that, I was the same person.

Is this what you want to happen? Is this something that you could accept? Onlyyou can answer that, and the onlyright answer is the one that is true for you. Is this what you see happening? That's actually a lot harder to assess, and it's not only because you are so close to the situation.

All of us get to go through puberty, at least once in our lives. For manyof us, it's prettystressful and unpleasant. We reallyhaven't had a chance to find out who we are, and even as we're searching, our "self" is changing in ways that we don't understand. It can be a period that seems to last forever, but in fact it does last long enough for us to do the exploration that we have to do,and to learn atleasta few ofthe things thatwe need to know.Ithappens atan age when we have the luxury of making a few mistakes, and people around us are usually tolerant of that to some degree.

Transsexuals get to go through puberty a second time. It is a very different experience than the first time, because it is something that we've longed for, and because it happens in a very compressed time scale, with a lot of growing and learning that has to happen in a relatively short time. It also happens at an age when the people around us expect us to bemuchmore settled into our lives, and when mistakes or appearing "out of character" are much less tolerated.

It mayhelp to remember that pubertyis a developmental process, whether it happens at 12 or 59 at 50. For a transsexual, it is also a time when a tremendous repression gets lifted, and there will be the wide varietyof feelings, of experimentation, of searching for new experiences, that we all went through the first time. As I said, it happens rapidly and in a compressed time period. Your spouse is both amature husband and a teen-age girl, and yes, it's confusing!

Just as with teen-agers, who generallygrow out of their angst and confusion to becomemature and responsible adults, your spouse will pass through this stage. Who willshe be when that is done? Just as with teen-agers, she will not be the worst or most difficult things that you are experiencing right now. She has to find herself, and if you stay with her through transi- tion, that is the person you will find yourself living with. Theremaybe more of the person that you've known all along, and less of theman, than you expect. Right now is probablynot a good time to predict, for you, or for her.

Yes, these changes are real. I once told myself that I wouldn't want to be a woman unless I could be beautiful. Well, I'm not beautiful; trustme on that. I once could not imagine ever wearing flats, or slacks or jeans, and yet those are the clothes that I live in these days. The clothes are important, for a signficiant period of time, and for significant reasons. When we are trying to reach the woman inside, sometimes clothes are her lifeline. But once we finally connect, the clothes are no longer necessary for her to feel alive. At that point, we can begin to settle into dressing habits that are more comfortable and natural, as well as more appropriate to our age and our lives. Again, it is a developmental process, and it has to follow its own course.

This is how it happens with manythings. There aremale and female stereotypes. You mayor maynot be happywith the female stereotypes, and you mayor maynot follow them. But the important point is that you know them, you've lived with them all your life, and you know how to break them when you want andstill remain both yourself and a woman. All of these are things that your spousemust learn for herself. In anything, you cannot break the rules safelyuntil you understand those rules and know how to follow them. So when you see your spouse falling into those stereotypes, remember that it's "just a phase." She'll grow out of it, more than likely. How do you cope? Is itworthstaying around for all ofthis to run its course? I can't answer that; as I said at the beginning, there is nomagic to make everything right, or even to know what "right" might mean. You have your wants and needs, and those are valid. You have a right to decide whether those wants and needs are beingmet, or whether you expect that theywill be met again in the future. You have a right to decide what you're willing to accept and to give up in order to get there. Taking care of yourself and of your needs is crucial not only for you, but also for your relationship.

The other difficulties? Going out in public is a hard one. It's scaryfor us, too, and one of the things we have to learn is that most people really don't care. There are also difficult times. Carol has been rather protective of me, sometimes more than I wanted, sometimes to the point of confronting people who are making those comments. But this is Carol; this is her way of dealing with it. And there are times whenshe doesn't want that to happen, whenshe doesn't want to deal with reactions. Once again, communication becomes crucial; she lets me know if she feels that way, and even if I'm in a mood where I don't care if I'm passing, I'll make sure that I'm passing as well as I can, for her sake. 60 Passing is one of the hardest aspects to get a handle on. Very little of it relies on clothes and makeup. Hormones have their influence on the body. There's the voice, which for most of us is the hardest of all, but which can be learned and retrained. There are all the behavioral aspects, and different communication patterns between male and female, but these can also be learned. One thing that is hard for people to come to terms with (true not only of transsexuals but also of our friends and family), and that is the role that self-confidence plays in passing. If we're doing a reasonable job with the other aspects, self-confidence, or more to the point, self- consciousness, can still make or break. And there's no way to get past that point except through practice. You may be able to support or coach or guide your spouse through some of these changes, but some of these things simplyhave to happen on their own.

How do we know when we're passing, or not? It isn't always easy. Some people are going to stare at a woman, regardless. If your spouse is tall and large, as I am, some people are going to stare because of that. Neither one of thesemeans that anyone is getting read; it simply means that you're being stared at. Probably the most effective guage of passing is to watch the reactions of teen-age girls and of toddlers. These groups are usuallythe most aware of other people's gender presentation, the most curious, and the most obvious about their assess- ments. If they're not paying attention, then things are going well.

I understand not wanting to get stared at, directly or by association. I was very much afraid of losing my privacy in public places, and--probably because I am not beautiful--that loss really hasn't happened. And most people aren't going to paymuch attention anyway. Still, comments will happen. As much as possible, I deal with them by ignoring them. It isn't always easy. I have to remind myself that the people who are making those comments are being rude, and that such behavior doesn't deserve the dignityof a response.

And to get back to the self-confidence issue, it's something that is important in so many ways. Itmeans a greatdeal tome to have come to terms with who Iam,so thatIno longer feel ashamed of being transsexual, or feel that I have to hide it. It's not that I push it in people's faces; far from it! I simplylike being who I am, and what has always been true for people in general now works in my favor: If I like who I am, that comes across in my presentation. I believe that people are more comfortable around me because of that, whether they're aware of it or not. In its own way, that makes the passing issue fade into the background. It just took a long time to reach this point.

Lastly, your familyand their difficulties with all of this.

There can be many reasons why family members have a hard time accepting, and some of those mayturn outto be very familiar to you.Theymayfear that you will gethurt,and thatis a valid and reasonable concern. Carol's daughter worried about this. The only way I know to deal with this is to acknowledge it and talk about it openly. There will be times during your spouse's transition that you can't know what the outcome will be. And yet you stay. Why? Because it would hurt more to leave.

That comes from a lot of things, from loving and caring, to all the time and energy and the parts of yourself that you have invested in your relationship, in your home, in your life together. It's 61 simplyrecognizing that even as you see it all change before your eyes, it still means a lot to you.

It hurts to see all of that change. Even though there is little enough of certaintyin this life, it hurts toseesomething you thought of as constant and reliableslipping away. And your family sees that, too. To the extent that theycare about you, they will also worryabout you and for you.

It's important to remember that theyknow your spouse as a person, not just as your husband. Suddenlyhe's not the person that theythought theyknew. Whatever else theymayfeel, they feel a loss, and a loss needs grieving. There is an aspect of death and rebirth in our transitions; this applies not only to us as transsexuals but also to our relationships with everyone we know. Thatmaybe true for you as well.Itmaynotseem to be the rightterm,to grieve for the loss of someone who is beside you everyday. On the other hand, it is true that things will never be what theyused to be, even with the best possible outcome from all of this. You have losses, and losses need grieving.

Grieving does notmean that it's all over, onlythat some things are trulypast. Other things may not be gone, including a renewal of your relationship.

Yet another reason for family rejection may be simply that they cannot accept, for reasons of their own. There is little for this but patience and hope and love. Sometimes theywill come around, and perhaps that happens when theyare readyto overcome their feelings of loss. Periodically letting them know that you are still there and still care will leave them an opening for return.

The onlything to do with all of these things is to give them time. Time and patience and love, and information when theyask for it. Share with them how things are going, for better and for worse.

In somanyways,time is keyfor all ofus.This is a transition,and a period ofgrowth and change, for your spouse, for you, for others touched byall of this. Transition will come to an end, and life will go on. What matters for you, as well as for your spouse, is to find the path that is right for you. Only you can decide what that means. But to find that path one must also know what is possible, and I hoped that what I have said will help with your journeyand your choices.

My best wishes for both of you.

For additional support for spouses and signficant others, see When You Love The One You're With... 62 CROSSDRESSER OR FETISH-DRESSER? --- And "PASSING" (c) Teri Lynn Richards

We hear so much today about what terms should be applied to the various styles of personal expression. There are crossdressers, transvestites, fetish-dressers, drag queens, female impersonators, transsexuals (pre-op & post-op), etc. So how do I decide - how do you decide which group we fit into?

I think that the most common group is "crossdressers", so let me discuss this group and see whether you fit into that group.

True crossdressers do their best to emulate the gender opposite their birth-gender. If a male crossdresser, he is not satisfied to just throw on some female garments and run outside. While a true crossdresser may not go all-out, when dressing at home, he would never think of going out in public, unless he looks as much as a woman as is possible for him, short of surgery.

To present a presentable/respectable feminine-image, I believe that one needs to get expert advice on what type of make-up looks best and how to apply it; what style of clothes and hair looks best; and, of course, some lessons/practice, on walking, talking and acting like a woman.

You can look like a model, but if you talk and walk like an Amazon ape, you aren't going to fool anybody; nor are you going to get the respect of the public.

When I go out in public, I realize that I am not going to fool all of the people, all of the time. I try my best to fool some, or most of the people, most of the time.

When women smile at me, I don't always know whether they are smiling because they recognize that I'm a crossdresser, but they think that I look presentable/respectable as a woman, or whether they are just the friendly type and it's a way of saying they like my outfit, etc.

When men smile at me, I generally take it as a compliment - that they think I'm a nice looking woman. Men usually aren't as observant as women. Men look at boobs and by the time they focus on my face, I've passed them and, most likely, they didn't recognize that I'm a crossdresser - just a woman they're lusting after.

True crossdressers, when out in public, do not want to draw undue attention, they just want to go on their way, as all the other women around them.

So, why do I have a desire to dress as a woman? I love to dress as a woman, because that is how I express my inner feelings. Yes, I would love to be a woman, but not all crossdressers have that feeling.

Some crossdressers "dress" simply because they enjoy the temporary illusion of looking like a woman. For some, crossdressing provides an escape from the daily-grind and allows them to relax and have a time of fun, instead of stress.

Being in a feminine-mode puts some crossdressers minds on a different plain, For a moment, they can escape the macho expectations they normally have to live up to as men and the stress associated with those expectations. 63 I find that I don't have a particular attraction to one item of feminine-apparel, over another. I enjoy the entire process of transforming into a feminine-image, so each article - foundation-wear, lingerie, outer-garments, hair and make-up, are all important to me.

When "dressed", I want to be able to look at myself and see a woman. I want to look, on the outside, like I feel on the inside. And after taking great pains to present my best feminine-image, I feel that I am finally a whole person - I feel like a woman, not just on the inside, but also on the outside. I feel most comfortable in fem-mode, because when in fem-mode, I feel like the person I was meant to be.

Does dressing, as much as a woman as one can manage, mean that one is "passable" as a woman - that no one will be able to tell that one is a crossdresser? No! However, it does mean that the person dresses in such a manner as to present a respectable/acceptable feminine-image.

For me, "passing" as a woman, is not nearly as important as being accepted as a woman. If someone realizes that I am a crossdresser and they still interact with me, as they would with a genetic woman, then I have succeeded in presenting a respectable/presentable feminine image to the public - an image which says to them that I want to emulate women, not mock them and that I truly enjoy looking feminine - looking like a woman.

When others look at me, I want them to see that I truly enjoy femininity, because that's what is in my heart and soul. I don't "dress" to present the illusion of a woman; I "dress" reveal my inner feelings as a woman - to express my transgender-character.

What do I mean by a "respectable/acceptable feminine-image"? When "dressed", even though others may realize that you are a crossdresser, they will be left with the impression that you did your best to look like a woman. That means that you dressed appropriately for your apparent age and that you blend in with other women.

A mini mini-skirt, sexy and revealing blouse, fish-net stockings and 6-inch heels, would be an example of not blending with other women at church, a baseball game or the supermarket. Such attire should be reserved for a nightclub, private party, a night at home, or Halloween.

A good way to gage how well you blend, is to take notice of how people react to you when they pass you in the Mall. --- Let me add that when you are in public, people will check you out. Women will check you out from quite a distance. Men usually will look at you when they're close enough to get a good look.

Just because you think that no one is looking at you, don't be fooled. When you do see a reaction, that facial expression is a result of the observer having formed an opinion about your appearance, probably from a distant perspective. If they look at you and have no unusual facial-expression, most likely, they think that your appearance is "normal".

If they grimace, as they pass you in the Mall, you likely didn't make much of an effort to look presentable as a woman, as such a reaction can be interpreted as, "Are you kidding? You're dressed in feminine-garb, but you sure don't look anything like a woman - more like a man-in-a-dress. Are you sure you should be out in public?"

The best reaction is a smile. A smile can mean: 'I know you're a crossdresser, but you present yourself 64 well, as a woman.' A smile could also mean nothing more than a friendly gesture - possibly without the knowledge that you're a crossdresser - letting you know that they think your a nice/average woman.

Now, let me address one other category of crossdresser - the Fetish-dresser.

I find that fetish-dressers love to be noticed. They usually don't dress age-appropriate, nor do they attempt to blend with other women.

Fetish-dressers just enjoy wearing one or more feminine items - whatever gives them a sexual turn- on. And often, they have one article on which they focus, such as lipstick, bras, heels, etc. Usually, they are so obsessed with that article, they tend to over-display it - too much lipstick/over-sized lips; breasts too large for their stature, etc.

Too often, fetish-dressers get more of a thrill out of wearing certain garments, they don't bother much with their make-up, hair, etc. Most often, they haven't bothered to get advice/lessons on how to walk, talk and act like a woman.

The main goal, for a fetish-dresser, is to get out in public and let other people see them. They mostly don't care about how the public reacts to them. In fact, they seem to enjoy the shock & awe they create in others. They want to be noticed. They love the attention.

My advice to fetish-dressers is that they confine their fetish to their home, or private gatherings at a fellow fetish-dresser's home.

Of course, Halloween is the one day on which they can go out and "flash" the public, as anything seems to go on that day - so next year, go and enjoy.

A plea to fetish-dressers -

When our daughter was in college, she had an unusual professor for one of her classes. This Prof. would sometimes wear a 1960's Haight-Ashbury granny-dress, sometimes a dress or skirt; sometimes with red fingernails, sometimes with make-up added, sometimes with heels, etc., ------but always with his beard and mustache. OUCH! Yes, you heard right! This Prof. mix-dressed. That is not true cross- dressing. His "dressing" may fall into the fetish-dresser category, but I have my doubts about that.

Most of the students thought this Prof. was a sicko - weird. Can you blame them?

Well, the impression this Prof. left on his students was not good. He did nothing to further the cause of true crossdressers. He was a fetish-dresser, or whatever, but most students did not recognize/realize that.

To most of the students - probably all - he was a crossdresser; and to most, this was their first encounter with a "crossdresser". Unfortunately, I'm certain that most of his students subsequently will view all crossdressers as 'weird' - like their Prof.

Because of her experience with her Professor, when I told our daughter that I'm a crossdresser, she blew a cork. After she explained what she encountered at college, I understood why. I had to explain all of what I just mentioned above, before she would even let me explain why I crossdress. 65

Fortunately, I managed to maintain my close relationship with our daughter, although she still doesn't want to see me dressed. Likely, she's afraid that she'll see the image of her Prof. again. I sure wished she would have seen me, or some other true crossdresser first, before her mind was seared with the wrong impression her Prof. gave her.

If you would like further information about crossdresser-types, or crossdresssing; or to just let me know whether you agree or disagree, please fe-mail me at: [email protected]

Now go out and enjoy your feminine moments -- or enjoy your fetishes in the privacy of your home. 66 From The Kitchen

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Ingredients

1 package (16 ounces)spaghetti 2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil Ingredients 2 medium carrots, sliced (1/4 cup) 1 medium onion, diced (1/2 cup) 1 lb extra-lean (at least 90%) ground beef SAVE $ 2 medium zucchini, cutinto1/2-inch slices (4 2 cans (4.5 oz each) Old El Paso™ chopped green cups) chiles SAVE $ 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 2 teaspoons chili powder 3 medium tomatoes, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 ½ teaspoons ground cumin ½ cup frozen green peas, thawed 1 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon choppedfresh basil leaves or 1 1 ½ cups shredded Cheddar cheese (6 oz) teaspoon dried basil leaves ½ teaspoon salt 1 ½ cups frozen whole kernel sweet corn, thawed 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro ¼ teaspoon pepper 2/3 cup gratedParmesan cheese 4 lime wedges

Directions Steps 1 Cook and drain spaghetti as directed on package. 1 Heat gas or charcoal grill. Cut 4 (18x12-inch) 2 Whilespaghetti is cooking, heat oil in 10-inch skillet sheets of heavy duty foil. Spray with cooking spray. over medium-high heat. Cook carrots, onion, zucchini andgarlic in oil, stirring frequently, until vegetables 2 In medium bowl, mix beef, 1 can green chiles, chili are crisp-tender. powder, 1 teaspoon of the cumin, 3/4 teaspoon of the salt 3 Stir in remaining ingredients except cheese; cook and 1 cup of the cheese until blended. Form into 4 patties until hot. Serve vegetable mixture over spaghetti. about 1/2-inch thick. In small bowl, mix corn, remaining Sprinkle with cheese. can of green chiles, remaining 1/2 teaspoon cumin and re- Expert Tips maining 1/4 teaspoon salt.

For 4 grams of fat and 360 calories per serving, omit 3 Place beef patty on center of each sheet of foil. the oil and spray a nonstick skillet with cooking spray. Scoop about 1/3 cup of corn mixture on top of each patty. 67 4 Bring up 2 sides of foil so edges meet. Seal edges, 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese making tight 1/2-inch fold; fold again, allowing space for INSTRUCTIONS heat circulation and expansion. Fold other sides to seal. Report this ad

5 Place packs on grill over medium heat. Cover grill; Brush bottom and sides of a cast iron skillet cook 8 minutes. Rotate packs 1/2 turn; cook 7 to 9 minutes with olive oil. longer or until patties are no longer pink in center and meat Using a mandoline or a sharp knife, slice pota- thermometer inserted in center of patties reads 160°F. Re- toes crosswise into desired thickness. Ar- move packs from grill. Cut large X across top of each pack. range potato slices vertically and loosely in Carefully fold back foil. Top each patty with 2 tablespoons prepared dish or skillet. cheese; garnish with cilantro and a lime wedge. Sprinkle garlic and Italian seasoning on top of Expert Tips potatoes. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Dot potatoes with butter. Cover skillet Got fresh sweet corn? Just cut the kernels off 2 ears of corn, with foiland bake in a 375 F oven for about and substitute for the frozen corn. 1 hour or until potatoes are tender. Remove foil, sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and To make in oven, place packs on cookie sheet. Bake at 400° F 19 to 22 minutes or until patties are no longer pink in cen- bake for another 15 to 20 minutes or until ter and meat thermometer inserted in center of patties reads crisp. 160°F. NOTES I sliced my potatoes at about ¼ inch thick as I Hasselback Potatoes with Parmesan and like my potatoes "meaty". The thinner the slice, Roasted Garlic the crispier the potatoes get. Grilled Honey Barbecue Pork Foil Packs

Ingredients

½ cup barbecuesauce ¼ cuphoney 2 teaspoons ground cumin 4 pork boneless rib orloin chops, 3/4 to1inch Ingredients thick (11/4 pounds) 5 Garlic cloves 2 large ears corn, each cut into 6 pieces 6 Red potatoes, large 1 cup baby-cut carrots, cut lengthwisein half Baking & Spices 2 cups (from 1-pound 4-ounce bag) refrigerated 1 tsp Italian seasoning cooked new potato wedges 1 Salt and pepper 1 teaspoon salt Oils &Vinegars 1 Olive oil Directions Dairy 1/2 cup Butter 1 Heat coals or gas grill for direct heat. Spray half of one side of four 18x12-inch sheets of heavy-duty alu- 68 minum foil with cooking spray. bowl, and set aside. 2 Mix barbecue sauce, honey and cumin in small bowl. Place 1 pork chop, 3 pieces corn, 1/4 cup carrots and 2 In 10-inch skillet, cook beef over medium heat 1/2 cup potato wedges on center of each sprayed foil until brown, stirring occasionally; drain. Stir in taco season- sheet; sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon salt. Spoon 3 table- ing mix and 1/4 cup water; simmer until thickened, stirring spoons saucemixture over pork andvegetables on occasionally. Set aside to cool slightly. each sheet. 3 Fold foil over pork andvegetables so edges meet. 3 To large bowl of pasta salad, add romaine, pico de Seal edges, making tight 1/2-inch fold;fold again. Al- gallo, olives, cilantro and scallions; toss. Fold in warm sea- low space on sides for circulation and expansion. soned beef. Top with corn chips; serve with your favorite 4 Grill packets 4 to 6 inches from medium heat 15 to taco toppings. 20 minutes, turning once,until pork is slightly pinkin center. Place packets on plates. Cut large X across top Expert Tips of each packet;fold back foil. Bulk up this salad with some additional add-ins: shredded Expert Tips cheese, black beans, corn kernels, avocado chunks, sour cream, guacamole, sautéed peppers and onions — or pick- Look for the cooked potato wedges in the refrigerated led jalapeños! section of the supermarket. To make this salad ahead of time, combine all of the ingre- You can use fresh potatoes for the refrigerated ones. dients except the romaine; cover and refrigerate — add the Cut 2 medium potatoes into wedges and place in a romaine at the last minute to keep it crunchy! microwavable bowl. Cover and microwave on High for about 5 minutes or until crisp-tender. Place potatoes in packet and grill as directed. Judy’s Award Winning Meatloaf Makesone 9 x5 loaf pan ofmeatloaf.Serves6. Beef Taco Pasta Salad Ingredients: 2 lbs. hamburger 8 slices thick-cut bacon, baked in oven and then crumbled 2 slices of bread cut into cubes (3/4 cup) 2 eggs 1/2 onion, finely chopped 1/2 green bell pepper, finely chopped 1/2 cup milk 1/4 tsp. black pepper 2 - 3 tsp. Tastefully Simple Garlic-Garlic seasoning mix 1 1/2 tsp. Tastefully Simple Onion-Onion seasoning mix Ingredients 1 tsp. sage 1 box Betty Crocker™ Suddenly Pasta Salad™ 1 tsp. Italian seasoning Southwest pasta salad 1/4 cup barbecue sauce Mayonnaise and milk called for on pasta salad box Topping: 1 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef 2 T. (separated) 1 package (1 oz) Old El Paso™ taco seasoning mix 4 cups chopped romaine 2 oz. Havarti cheese, grated 1 cup pico de gallo 1/4 - 1/3 cup French-fried onions, crushed ¼ cup sliced olives Directions: ¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves - Preheat oven to 350. ¼ cup sliced scallions 2 cups corn chips - Place bacon slices on a baking sheet. Bake in pre-heated oven ~30-40 minutes until well done but not burnt. Drain on paper towels. Chop very finely (or crumble if you have time Steps to let bacon cool completely). 1 Make pasta salad as directed on box; place in large - Mix all except topping ingredients in bowl; be sure all 69 seasonings are well-blended. French Onion Scalloped Potatoes - Recommended: cook small "test bites" in frypan prior to putting in oven; adjust seasonings according to preference - Place in greased 9 x 5 loaf pan; ensure well-packed; smooth out top with spatula - Bake for ~75 minutes; should be 160 degrees. - Carefully remove from pan and place on serving plate. - Brush with ~2 T. barbecue sauce. - Sprinkle grated Havarti cheese over the top, evenly. - Top with crushed French-fried onions - Slice, serve and enjoy!

Herb Baked Salmon Ingredients

2 boxes (4.7 oz each) Betty Crocker™ scalloped potatoes 1 package (1 oz) ranch salad dressing and sea- soning mix (milkrecipe) 3 ½ cups boiling water 2 cups half-and-half ¾ cup chopped red bell pepper 1 can (2.8 oz) French-fried onions 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, if desired

Directions

1 Heat oven to 400°F.

Ingredients 2 In 13x9-inch (3-quart) glass baking dish, stir to- Serves: 4 gether both Sauce Mixes (from potato boxes), the dressing mix, boiling water andhalf-and-half with 1 tablespoon lemon juice wire whisk. Stir in both Potatoes pouches and the bell 1 tablespoon olive oil pepper. Bakeuncovered 35 minutes or until potatoes 2 teaspoons McCormick® Perfect Pinch® Salt Free are tender. Garlic & Herb Seasoning 1 pound salmon fillets 3 Top with onions; bake 10minuteslonger. Sprinkle with parsley before serving. Let stand 5 minutes before Directions serving (sauce will thicken as it stands). 5 minsPrep time20 minsCook time Preheat oven to 350°F. Mix lemon juice, oil and Sea- Expert Tips soning in small bowl until well blended. Place salmon on foil-lined baking pan. Brush with oil No red pepper? Use green peppers instead. mixture. Bake 20 minutes or until fish flakes easily with fork. 70 10 Simple Hacks for Better Outdoor Dining by Leslie Wu

You don’t have to stray too far from home to dine al fresco this summer: you can enjoy the great outdoors without leaving the comfort of your own backyard. Check out 10 tips to ensure you and your guests make the most of your patio dining experience.

Don’t Bug Out Your guests aren’t the only ones attracted to your party’s tasty food and beverages. Keep insects and creepy crawlies out of your drinks with pretty paper umbrellas or inverted cupcake liners to cover cups. Try a glass bowl, the dome from a cake stand or a mesh colander to protect larger dishes from uninvited guests.

Outsource Your Dishware If you don’t have enough plates or cutlery and want something a little more luxe than plastic, look at high-end disposables (some designer versions have gilded patterning, sturdier construction and even silver or gold colouring to look like the real thing) or consider renting glassware and utensils from a local company. As an added bonus, you don’t have to clean the dishes.

Mix and Match Don’t worry about mismatched dishes, cups or cutlery — dining al fresco should be carefree. Bring out those mismatched teacups and saucers for a straight-out-of-Wonderland garden party, complete with herbal chicken salad sandwiches made with Pure Leaf Peach or Raspberry Iced Tea in frosted cordial glasses for something a little different. 71 Upgrade Your Seating Casual should still mean comfortable: bring out washable cushions and old bedspreads, throws or blankets from the house to lend a little plushness to outdoor seating. Adding some padding to hard benches or deck chairs will mean guests stay chatting long into the night.

Keep On Rolling A drink or kitchen cart can be an invaluable tool when dining outdoors. Use it to move stacks of plates or large platters around for maximum maneuverability, or assemble a condiments, cutlery or BBQ tools caddy and place it near the cooking or serving area.

Think Small Rather than trying to crowd guests around one big patio table, use clusters of small side tables and let people move them around as needed. Arranging coffee or end tables around the edges of the patio will enhance flow and provide a variety of places for placing food. 72 Bucket List Instead of fussing with napkin holders or cutlery containers, try using other (well-washed) household or patio items. Lined terra cotta plant pots, glass vases, utensil holders or even plastic kiddie beach pails can make playful and unexpected receptacles.

lower Power Use edible, unsprayed flowers such as lamb’s lettuce or nasturtiums for pretty centrepieces and also DIY garnishes for your guests to flavour chilled soups or simple salads. Or, put pots of bug-repelling rosemary or citronella around the food area (rosemary sprigs can also be used to brush marinades on food or added to the grill for sweet smoke to discourage insects).

Stepping Stone If flat spaces to lay out food or drinks are at a premium, give your steps a good scrub and use some of the upper areas for an impromptu tiered shelf. Use a cheery tablecloth and pretty decorations to offset the stones (and make sure guests still have entry and exit points to the deck). 73 Hanging Out If you’ve got existing hooks for hanging plants, consider dusting off those planters to stack fruits and vegetables or garnishes such as lemons and limes for some edible decor. Or, use them to keep napkins and cutlery accessible and out of the way.

Leslie Wu is a Toronto-based food and travel writer, editor and explorer. Follow her on Twitter at @leslie_wu. 74 The Gossip Fence Transgender In The News

Defense secretary reveals the trans military ban is in limbo

Secretary of Defense James Mattis sent some mixed messages Monday when he stopped by the Pentagon newsroom to discuss President Trump’s intended ban on transgender personnel in the military—which the president announced via Twitter. At best, the proposal remains in limbo and is still being studied; at worst, it’s inevitably still coming. The key takeaway Mattis rev ealed is that Trump has y et to actually issue anything other than af ew tweets and public comments. “I am waiting right now to get the President’s guidance in and that I expect to bev ery soon,” he explained.

Mattis seemed dismissive of the research that had already been done before his predecessor, Ash Carter, announced last summer that the ban on trans military service would be lifted—including a massive study by the RAND Corporation, one of the most respected military think tanks. “I’m not willing to sign upf or the [Rand Corp.] numbers y ou just used, and I’m not willing to sign up for the concern any of [the transgender service members] have,” the secretary said. “And I’m not willing to prejudge what the study will now bring out.”Mattis also noted that the decision has been impacted by the lack of political appointees ov erseeing personnel issues at the Pentagon. He wants to “get them in to be able to answer those questions” before the ban is implemented.

Trump’s lawyers reportedly warned him against transgender military ban

In the meantime, thousands of transgender personnel, who are already serving and have not disrupted the readiness of the military, await news about the fate of their careers.

Trans military ban halted by war threat

It took the threat of nuclear war with North Korea to reportedly get the White House to put a hold on the policy re-instituting the ban on open transgender service in the military.

A White House source, who spoke to the Blade on condition of anonymity, said “A Guidance Policy for Open Transgender Serv ice Phase Out”— which had been certified by the White House Counsel’s Office after repeated advice that it would result in lawsuits—was expected to be sent to Defense Secretary James Mattis sometime during the week starting Aug. 7. However, according to a Pentagon source, after President Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un got into a fiery v erbal sparring match on Aug. 8, the Defense Secretary sent a message to major U.S. commands letting them know that the threat by North Korea was his overriding priority and that other issues “were to be temporarily sidelined.”

Additionally, the Pentagon source says that Mattis intends to put a hold on all personnel matters, though disciplinary issues such discharges will continue. However, anything that affects military strength and readiness, specifically troop numbers, will be put on hold. Meanwhile, the Pentagon confirmed to the New York Times Aug. 9 that it has not yet received the trans guidance.

While Mattis did not specifically mention tabling the transgender service ban, it can be extrapolated that dealing with such a major policy change would be exceedingly disruptive during a time of crisis, especially when a military leader would want the ability to deploy all available troops. Meanwhile, GLAD and the National Centerf or Lesbian Rights f iled a “Doe v. Trump lawsuit on Aug. 9 in federal court in D.C., seeking an injunction against Trump’s directive to reinstate a ban.

Candidate for top Homeland Security job withdraws over Trump transgender troops ban

A candidatef or a top position at the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) pulled his namef rom consideration for the job on Thursday after President Trump's announcement that transgender Americans would be banned from serving in the armed f orces "in any capacity."

John Fluharty, af ormer executive director of the Delaware Republican party, told the agency in an email that he was no longer seeking the position of assistant secretary of partnership and engagement after Trump's announcement on Twit- ter Wednesday morning. 75 Fluharty wrote in the email, first obtained by Politico, that Trump's surprise decision to ban all transgender troops from serving in the armed forces "runs counter to my deeply held beliefs."

56 retired generals and admirals say transgender ban will hurt military readiness

–A statement released by the Palm Centerf rom 56 retired general andf lag officers responding to President Trump’s proposed ban on transgender service members in the U.S. military. In their statement, the retired officials state that such a ban could cause “significant disruptions, deprive the military of mission-critical talent, and compromise the integrity of transgender troops who would be f orced to live a lie, as well as non-transgender peers who would be forced to choose between reporting their comrades or disobeying policy.”

The military leaders also argue that transgender Americans who want to serve in the military should not be dismissed or depriv ed of medically necessary health care, as some in Congress have proposed due to their objections over taxpayer dollars being used to pay for gender confirmation surgery. And they take issue with claims that paying for transition-related expenses such as hormones would be prohibitively expensive.

The military leaders note that 18f oreign nations, including allies such as the United Kingdom and Israel, allow transgender troops to serve openly, without impacting military readiness. They cite statements by two former Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who support allowing transgender individuals to serve openly.

“Admiral Mike Mullen stated that, ‘I led our armed forces under thef lawed ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy and saw f irsthand the harm to readiness and morale when we f ail to treat all service members according to the same standards….The military conducted a thorough research process on this issue and concluded that inclusive policy for transgender troops promotes readiness,'” the statement says. “Admiral Mullen urged civilian leaders ‘to respect the military’s judgment and not to breach the f aith of service members who defend ourf reedoms.’ We could not agree more.”

19 attorneys general urge Congress to block Trump's transgender troop ban

Nineteen state attorneys general, including the one for Washington, D.C., are calling on Congress to block President Trump from implementing a ban on transgender troops. Specifically, they want the leaders of the Senate and House Armed Services committees to include language in the annual defense policy bill to prohibit discrimination against transgender troops and affirm that transgender Americans cannot be banned from serving.

Transgender troops have been able to serve openly since the Obama administration lifted the ban in summer 2016. In their letter, the attorneys general, led by Hawaii, argue Trump’s policy change reopened an issue that was already settled. They highlighted Defense Secretary James Mattis’s pledge during his confirmation hearing not to reverse the transgender policy , as well as his opposition to a House effort to ban Pentagonf undingf or transition-related medical care. They also noted Senate Armed Services Chairman John McCain’s (R-Ariz.) own statement that “there is no reason tof orce service members who are able tof ight, train, and deploy to leave the military — regardless of their gender identity.”

Trump’s claims that medical costs are too high and open transgender service too disruptive have already been rejected by leading organizations such as the Rand Corporation, they added.

“The decision to oust honorable, well-trained, and patriotic service members based on nothing more than their gender identity is undiluted discrimination and therefore indefensible,” they wrote. “We urge that this newly announced policy be immediately rev ersed.”

The letter was signed by attorneys generalf rom Hawaii, New York, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Mary land, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Mexico, Oregon, Pennsy lvania, Rhode Island, Vermont, Virginia, Washington state and D.C.

Senators to Mattis: Don't ban transgender troops

Forty-five senators, including one Republican, are urging Defense Secretary James Mattis to advise President Trump against implementing a ban on transgender troops he announced this week on Twitter. “We strongly oppose this policy change and urge y ou to advise the president against it,” the senators wrote in a letter to Mattis on Friday. “This announcement contradicts existing Defense Department policies, undermines our military readiness and puts our transgender service members as well as their commanders in an impossible situation.”

The letter was organized by Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), who has promised to introduce legislation blocking the president from implementing the ban. All signatories are Democrats except f or one — moderate Republican Sen. Susan Collins (Maine).

Kicking them out of the military, the senators argued, would be “cruel and discriminatory,” harm readiness by requiring the military to replace them and hurt morale by having their colleagues see them discharged for their identities. “Any American 76 who wants to serve and meets the standards should be allowed to serve our country,” they wrote. “Transgender service members are serving with honor and distinction today and we ask that y ou, as our secretary of Defense, assure them that their service will not be ended simply because of who they are.”

Poll Majority of Americans opposes Trump’s transgender military ban

A majority of Americans thinks that transgender people should be allowed to serve in the military, according to a Reuters poll. The poll f ound that 58 percent of adults think transgender people should be able to serve in the armedf orces, while 27 people said they shouldn’t.

Sev enteen percent said they thought banning transgender people from the military would “improve morale,” while 32 percent said it would hurt it. Thirty-three percent believe a possible ban would have “no impact” on the morale among the officers. 42 percent said banning transgender peoplef rom the military would have “no impact” on military readiness, while 22 percent said it would hurt capability and 14 percent said it would help.

The survey sampled 1,249 adults between July 26–28 with the margin of error at 3 percentage points.

Is Trump’s Trans Ban Even Legal? Probably Not.

President Donald Trump pledged to ban transgender individuals f rom the military, surprising the Pentagon and prompting anger, f ear and outrage from people across the country. But, as with so many Trump tweets, it is far from clear whether there’s any substance underneath the bluster.

His words hav e no actual policy power ― and it’s not clear whether anything will change at all, LGBT adv ocates and civil rights lawy ers told HuffPost. But if his tweets do lead to a transgender ban, civil rights groups will most certainly file suit.

In recent years, courts have heard several cases of transgender people claiming discrimination ― many of whom were f ired f or transitioningf rom male to female, or prohibitedf rom using the bathroom at their place of work. Most of the time, courts have ruled in f avor of the trans person, but a smattering of rulings have gone the other way as well.

Crucially, the issue hasn’t yet made it to the Supreme Court. Advocacy groups said Wednesday they are readying legal strategies in case the tweets turn into something real. “We are considering our options. There is nothing off the table,” said Jillian Weiss, the executive director of the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund. “This is flat out unconstitutional.”

Prev enting an entire group of peoplef rom serving in the military violates the Equal Protection Clause laid out in the 14th Amendment, Weiss said, echoing the opinions of a handful of lawyers. The amendment, enacted after the Civil War with the intention of prohibiting discrimination against former slaves, has been understood since the 1970s to also provide protections against gender discrimination. Maybe the most well-known gender discrimination case under the Equal Protection Clause was 1996′s U.S. v. Virginia, where the Supreme Court said that the Virginia Military Institute had to admit women. In another key case, a trans woman successf ully sued her employer in 2011 after she was fired for announcing her plan to transition from male tof emale. That case made it to the 11th Circuit, but not the Supreme Court.

There’s little question that it is illegal for an employer ― public or private ― to discriminate against someone on the basis of sex. But there’s less clarity when it comes to discrimination on the basis of gender identity. Some courts don’t distinguish between the two: In other words, if it’s illegal to discriminate against a woman because she’s a woman, it would also be illegal to discriminate against a trans woman because she’s a trans woman.

The courts have mostly moved in that direction, said Sally Abrahamson, a lawyer at Outten & Golden who argues sex discrimination cases. “I don’t think Trump is going to be able to undermine this.”

For the moment, nothing’s changed since last y ear, when the Department of Defense lifted its longstanding ban on transgender service members and allowed them to serve openly. Apparently surprised by Trump’s tweets, the Pentagon said Wednesday it would provide “revised guidance in the near future.” If the policy actually materialized, it’s not clear what would happen to the thousands of openly trans people currently serving in the military.

Actually kicking out transgender service members would be a costly and lengthy bureaucratic nightmare ― if it were actually to happen, f ormer and active duty military personnel told HuffPost.

“We have a lot of individuals who are scared,” Thorn said. “This is causing undue stress and burden.” He reassured those currently serving that nothing had changed, but added if Trump goes f urther “we will go to court.”

The military only lifted its ban on transgender service members last y ear, and the old policy was never challenged in court. That sets it apart from “don’t ask, don’t tell,” a Clinton-era rule that was supposed to make things easier for LGBTQ people but basically was just a policy of discrimination. (If you were openly gay, y ou’d be kicked out of the military.) While that rule was 77 challenged successfully in court, the issue of transgender soldiers didn’t really come up until 2015, Thorn said. His group and others were successf ul in lobbying the Pentagon, under the leadership of Defense Secretary Ash Carter, to change the policy on its own.

Since the ban has been lifted, Thorn said he’s heard littlef rom openly trans service members about f acing harassment or discrimination. “We have members leading commands and elite teams,” he said. “We have had no issues. We were stunned to see the president’s tweets this morning. I’m f labbergasted.”

Coast Guard spends more to protect Trump at Mar-a-Lago than the military spends on trans health care

Coast Guard leaders are bracing themselves f or significant cuts as Trump’s most recent budget proposal suggested cutting its budget by 2.4 percent, or $267 million. But there’s one place the Coast Guard is not going to be able to scale down—protecting President Trump’s waterfront Mar-a-Lago club during Trump’s frequent trips down south.

When Trump travels to Mar-a-Lago, which he has done seven weekends of his six-month long presidency, the Washington Post reports that Coast Guard has to deploy “cutters, patrol boats, helicopters, and anti-terror specialists from across the country,” which amounts to about a $1 million cost per trip to protect the Trump-dubbed “Winter White House.”

So f ar this y ear, the Coast Guard has spent $6.6 million protecting Mar-a-Lago. And it isn’t the only government department doling out for these trips—according to conservative estimates calculated by Politico based on figures f rom the Government Accountability Office, the government spends about $3 million per Mar-a-Lago v isit when y ouf actor in costs f or security and travel on Air Force One in addition to the Coast Guard expenses.

That means that the government has already spent f ar more this year on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago trips than it has on transition- related health caref or transgender service members. Last year, a Pentagon report found that transition-related health care expenses would cost between about $2.4 and $8.4 million per year.

Trump’s travel excursions, which are ty pically to properties he owns, have been raising eyebrows since he first took office. In April, the Hill reported that Trump was already on pace to spend more on travel in 2017 than Obama spent the entire eight y ears he ran the country.

While members of the conservative media and Trump himself were extremely critical about President Obama’s travel ex- penses when Obama was in the White House, Trump’s trips to Mar-a-Lago have been characterized as “necessary to safe- guard the president’s work.”

Banning transgender troops would cost 100 times more than letting them serve

A new study from the Palm Center, a think tank at the University of California, Santa Barbara, has found that the cost of imple- menting President Trump’s proposed ban on transgender military service would far exceed the costs of actually letting trans- gender people serve their country.

According to the study, it would cost $960 million to discharge all of the transgender servicemembers already serving in the military. This is based on an estimate that there are currently 12,800 transgender troops and the cost to recruit and train their replacements would be $75,000 each.

Comparatively, the RAND Corporation, a military think tank, estimated last year that the military would spend at most $8.4 mil- lion per y ear covering the health care needs of trans servicemembers. Though the RAND study offered a more conservative estimate of how many trans individuals are currently serving in the military, it relied on similar estimates about how many ser- vicemembers would require transition-related care eachy ear.

One of the primary arguments Trump, his surrogates, Republican members of Congress, and other conservatives have offered f or the ban is the cost of these medical expenses. The Palm Center report unpacks the flaws in the more outrageous estimates each group has so far offered up.

The price tagf or Trump’s proposed ban, the study concludes, “is more than 100 times greater than the annual cost of retaining transgender service members and providingf or their health care needs.”

Santa Clara County to Hire Transgender Services Manager

Santa Clara County officials on Friday announced the county is expanding services to the transgender community with the hiring of a Transgender Services Program Manager.

"While the current administration in Washington appears to be committed to turning back the clock for transgender people and the larger LGBTQ community, here in Santa Clara County, we are moving forward," Santa Clara County Supervisor Ken 78 Yeager said in a statement. The program manager will serve as a key trainer, mediator and facilitatorf or the transgender community in areas such as medical care, employment, mental health services and safety and inclusion in local schools, hospitals, housing and at the county's correctionalf acilities, officials said.

The Board of Supervisors unanimously approved funding for the position as part of thef iscal 2018 budget. The county's Employee Services Agency will be accepting applications for the position until Aug. 30.

Anti-LGBT groups on rise again with Trump in White House

Social conservative advocates and groups seeking to undermine LGBT rights — once thought to be waning in influence — appear to have experienced a resurgence with President Trump in the White House. The growing power of anti-LGBT groups, such as the Family Research Council, Alliance Defending Freedom and the Heritage Foundation, can be seen in the policies enacted by Trump against the LGBT community as well as the close interaction between social conservatives and his administration.

Prior to his August v acation, Trump announced his intent to ban transgender peoplef rom the U.S. military “in any capacity,” unilaterally instituting the anti-LGBT policy after the U.S. House — under Republican control, no less — rejected a narrower measure to undermine transgender service by denying military f unds for transition-related health care. Trump’s declaration came after intense lobbying by anti-LGBT lawmakers and groups, who threatened to withhold support f rom major defense spending legislation unless the White House acted. That bill includes funds f or Trump’s wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, said in a statement after Trump’s announcement on transgender service his organization would withdraw its opposition to border wall payments.

Although Trump — despite entreaties from social conservatives — hasn’t signed an executive order circulating among federal agencies and advocacy groups that would enable sweeping anti-LGBT discrimination in the name of “religious freedom,” he did pen his name to a directive empowering U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions to issue guidance ensuring religious liberty.

Critics say that’s a red herring that could lead the U.S. government to give the OKf or discrimination among federal contractors, priv ate employer denial of family and medical leave to same-sex couples andf ederal workers refusing to process paperwork f or LGBT people. Sessions had already stated the directive would be based on the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, a 1993 law meant to preserve the rights of religious minorities that’s now used as an excusef or anti-LGBT discrimination.

It remains to be seen when the administration will issue the guidance and the nature of the policy. On his weekly radio show late last month, Perkins said action would come soon and the U.S. government will be “on notice that they have to respect religious f reedom” — codef or social conservatives to mean anti-LGBT discrimination.

Daniel Pinello, a political scientist at the City University of New York’s John Jay College of Criminal Justice, is among those who say “there’s a resurgence of anti-LGBT-group influence” under the Trump administration.

“People like Tony Perkins of the Family Research Councilf iguref ar more prominently in White House policy making now,” Pinello said. “Indeed, Perkins personally crafted the Republican Party’s 2016 national platf orm with regard to social issues. President Trump is delivering on that document’s promise through actions such as the (gestating) transgender military ban and the Justice Department’s legal brief arguing against sexual orientation discrimination’s being encompassed within the 1964 Civil Rights Act’s prohibition of sex-based discrimination.”

Moreov er, these anti-LGBT acts f rom the Trump administration subvert the will of the public at large, which consistently voices majority support for LGBT rights. On the issue of transgender military service, for example, a Quinnipiac poll earlier this month f ound U.S. v oters say by a margin of 68–27 percent, including 55–39 percent among voters in military households, that transgender people should be allowed to serve.

Also seeing a rise in influence among anti-LGBT groups is Heidi Beirich, intelligence project directorf or the Southern Poverty Law Center, which has included groups like the Family Research Council and Alliance Defending Freedom among its list of hate groups. “There is no question that they have access to this administration and are getting policies passed that are their pref erence in a way that we haven’t seen maybe ever,” Beirich said.

Invoking Trump’s own unique terminology, Beirich said, “If anybody is winning big-ly from Trump’s policies, its thesef olks, right? It’s the anti-LGBT hate groups and theirv arious allies among conservatives.”

On May 3, the eve of the National Day of Prayer, Trump allowed into the Oval Office evangelical leaders — many of whom hav e anti-LGBT records — including Franklin Graham, who recently called for a boycott of the animated “Beauty and the Beast” over the inclusion of a gay character, as well as Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, former Rep. Michele Bachmann and Faith & Freedom Coalition Chair Ralph Reed. Reed, who once compared marriage equality to slavery and its 79 opponents to abolitionists, tweeted out a photo of him with first daughter Iv anka Trump, who has professed to be an LGBT ally despite the anti-LGBT actions of her father’s administration.

On July 10, Trump invitedf or a prayer session in the Oval Office many of the same people as well as Perkins and American ev angelical leader Gary Bauer. Also in attendance were Sky line Church Pastor Jim Garlow, who called being LGBT a “perv ersity,” and Bishop Harry Jackson, a pastor at the Maryland-based Hope Christian Church who attempted to stop the le- galization of same-sex marriage in D.C.

These Oval Office visits say nothing about the interactions between officials within the Trump administration and anti-LGBT groups. Vice President Mike Pence delivered a speech to Focus on the Family upon its anniversary, Kellyanne Conway gave a speech at the Family Leader’s summit in Iowa and Sessions gave closed-door remarks to Alliance Defending Freedom.

Sarah Kate Ellis, CEO of the LGBT media watchdog group GLAAD, has monitored the level of access these groups enjoy with Trump in the White House.

“The Trump administration’s choice to provide anti-LGBTQ activists an ‘express pass’ to the White House highlights this administration’s goal of stopping progress and rolling back LGBTQ protections,” Ellis said. “People like Tony Perkins have made careers out of making life harder for LGBTQ people and the decision to give anti-LGBTQ activists like him repeated White House access is a slap in the face to LGBTQ Americans that could have long-lasting consequences.”

Pinello said social conservative groups opposed to LGBT rights are close to Trump despite friction during the primary because “any president willing to do one’s bidding will suffice at the end of the day.”

With public approval for Trump at an all-time low and disapproval at an all-time high, Beirich said Trump cultivates support f rom social conservatives because that is what remains of his v oters. “They’re a major part of his base,” Beirich said. “If he were to lose support from these folks, he would be in serious, serious trouble.”

Beirich also cited as a reasonf or the influence of anti-LGBT groups the presence in the White House of Pence, whom she said has been “close to these groups forever and ever and ever.” “He passed a religious liberty law that was problematic in Indi- ana,” Beirich said. “He’s spoken to all these folks, he lives in their circles, and so, with support overallf or Trump collapsing, he’s got to hold onto his base, and this is his base.”

Department of Justice, Agency Clash Over Civil Rights Act

A f ederal appeals court in New York City is getting conflicting advice from the government over whether a civil rights law covers sexual orientation.

The Department of Justice told the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in court papers Wednesday that sexual orientation is not covered by Title VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The law bans workplace discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission enforces the law against private employers and says sexual orientation is covered, offering multiple theories on why that is so.

The entire 2nd Circuit is taking the rare step of considering the appeal after an appeals court panel in April upheld a lower- court decisionf inding sexual orientation discrimination was not covered by the law.

Justice Department lawyers wrote flatly that the EEOC in its court papers "is not speakingf or the United States and its position about the scope of Title VII." It added that the EEOC "is entitled to no deference beyond its power to persuade." The Justice Department arguments came the same day President Donald Trump said he was banning transgender peoplef rom military service.

Civil rights advocates took note.

David Dinielli, deputy legal director at the Southern Poverty Law Center, said Thursday that the brief demonstrates that the Trump administration "is determined to impose retrograde policies that roll back the civil rights of our most marginalized populations."

James Esseks, director of the American Civil Liberties Union's LGBT & HIV Project, said, "Fortunately, courts will decide whether the Civil Rights Act protects LGBT people, not an attorney general and a White House that are hell-bent on playing politics with people's lives."

In its papers, the Justice Department noted that Title VII "prohibits employers f rom applying impermissible sex stereoty pes to homosexual employees." It said, f or instance, that gay and straight employees may invoke the law if they are subjected to gender-based stereotypes such as "that a particular homosexual man is too effeminate - that cause them to be treated worse than similarly situated employees of the opposite sex." 80

How marriage may protect transgender couples

Transgender people who are married are less likely to experience discrimination than their unmarried counterparts, indicates a national study led by a Michigan State University sociologist. The findings, published online in the Journal of Marriage and Family, speak to the well-established marital advantage even among transgender couples, a fast-growing but little-studied population. Some 1.4 million adults identify as transgender in the United States.

“Past research suggests marriage is related to greater access to economic, social and psychological resources, and we believ e access to such resources helps transgender people combat life stressors related to their gender-minority status, including discrimination,” said Hui Liu, MSU professor of sociology and principal investigator of the federally f unded study.

Although the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage a nationwide right in 2015, high levels of transphobia persist, presenting a continued challenge for public policies and programs promoting marriage equality and equal treatment among the transgender population, she added.

Among theirf indings:

• Married transgender people are less likely to experience perceived discrimination than their unmarried transgender • counterparts, in particular their cohabiting or previously-married counterparts. The researchers examined discrimination in f our key domains of life: workplace, f amily, health care and public accommodations. • The discrimination is seen more among transgender women than among transgender men. This may be partly a result of higher transphobia experienced by transgender women relative to transgender men. • Economic resources partially explained thef indings. The medianf amily income of married transgender women was $70,000-$79,999, while the median income of unmarried transgender women was $30,000-$39,999. The study notes that greater income may create more privileges; for example, married transgender women may f ind it easier to choose their living and work environments and access gender-sensitive services and thus reduce exposure to transphobia and dis- crimination.

The study is f unded by the National Institute on Aging and the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

76 lawmakers call for return of trans question in health survey

A bipartisan group of 76 U.S. House members is calling on the White House to restore to af ederal health survey f or elders a question the Trump administration has struck out allowing them to identify as transgender.

Earlier this y ear, the Administration on Community Living at the Department of Health & Human Services indicated it would eliminated from the NSOAAP questions allowing LGBT elders to identify their sexual orientation and gender identity. Amid pressure from LGBT rights supporters, HHS agreed to restore the sexual orientation, but kept out a question allowing elders to identify as transgender.

NSOAAP is a survey that evaluates whether the billions of dollars in HHS funding for programs assisting older Americans is being eff ectively. LGBT advocates have said the questions on sexual orientation and gender identity, which first appeared in the survey in 2014, has yielded important data on whether these resources have reached LGBT elders.

Chris Christie signs two pro-transgender bills into law

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) surprised many when he signed two different bills advancing transgender equality into law. While both are positive advancements for the state, they coincidentally mirror prominent ways the Trump administration is rolling back transgender rights.

One of the bills, S3067, directs the state Commissioner of Education to develop guidelines for ensuring “a supportive and non- discriminatory environment f or transgender students” in New Jersey schools. The bill specifies that the guidelines should address the following:

• Protecting transgender students from discrimination and harassment • Ensuring the confidentiality and privacy of transgender students • Ensuring students are addressed by their preferred names and pronouns • Recognizing students’ gender identities, including on their student ID cards and in the enforcement of dress codes • Allowing trans students to participate in gender-segregated activities in accordance with their gender identity • Never requiring trans students to use restrooms or locker rooms that conflict with their gender identity 81 Obv iously, the guidelines will still have to be developed, but the law doesn’t leave much room f or them to allow schools to discriminate against transgender students.

The other bill, A4568, prohibits state-licensed hospitals, health providers, health insurers, and Medicaidf rom refusing service to an individual because they are transgender. The nondiscrimination protections are fairly sweeping, protecting trans people from being denied coverage, being charged more, having their identity be designated as a pre-existing condition, or being denied any service or claim that would be provided to a cisgender patient.

Christie’s record on LGBTQ issues could be described as mixed at best. He opposed same-sex marriage, but when the state’s ban on same-sex marriage failed in court, he chose not tof ight the decision. In 2013, he signed a bill banning harmf ul ex-gay therapy for minors, but he has twicev etoed bills that would make it easier for transgender people to change the gender marker on their birth certificates. He said he had concerns that the easier guidelines would somehow allow f or “fraud, deception, and abuse.”

Walmart found guilty of ‘harassment & intimidation’ of transgender employee

Jessica Shyne Robison was a stellar employeef or Walmart owned subsidiary Sam’s Club when she told her manager she would be starting the transition process. While she received several promotions and kudos during her career pre-transition, things quickly turned sour after she came out as trans. Robinson was “subjected to harassment and intimidation” by her supervisor according to a ruling from thef ederal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). They alsof ound that her exclusion from the corporate health care policy v iolated the law.

The commissionf ound that the company “categorically excluded coverage of any services for ‘transgender treatment/sex therapy,’ denying [Robinson] medically necessary care that would have been covered if not for her transgender status” according to the ruling. Walmart recently settled a class action lawsuit brought by several former and current gay and lesbian employees who were denied health insurance coverage for their spouses.

Despite the regular bombardment of discrimination stories and generally poor treatment of workers, Walmart continues to score highly on the Human Rights Campaign‘s Corporate Equality Index. Pride At Work, the nonprofit that represents LGBTQ working people, has criticized HRC f or the way it scores the CEI f ory ears.

“We are disappointed that the HRC Corporate Equality Index rewards big corporations f or questionable employment practices without taking into consideration the lived experiences of the LGBTQ working people in those corporations,” Pride At Work Executive Director Jerame Davis said. “Companies continue to receive high scores on the HRC CEI despite their treatment of workers overall and, in the specific case of Walmart, the treatment of LGBTQ workers. Despite multiple LGBTQ discrimination lawsuits against the company, many other documented incidents of anti-LGBTQ bias, and our own callf or the company’s score to be suspended, Walmart’s rating remains inconceivably high.”

The question remains, however, whether or not HRC will continue to ignore the plight of actual LGBT employees in favor of corporate donations.

Military Ban Prompts $50K Donation to Transgender Candidate

MANASSAS, Va. - President's Trump decision to ban transgender people from serving in the military sparked a wave of condemnationf rom Democrats and Republicans alike.

But the political arena where it resonated perhaps most personally was a local state House race in Virginia, where Democrat Danica Roem is looking to make history as the state's first transgender lawmaker. She is vying to unseating Del. Robert G. Marshall (R-Prince William), a social conservative who has sponsored a "bathroom bill" and a ban on gays and lesbians f rom serving in the state's National Guard. Both pieces of legislation failed.

"For our president, who opted out of serving in the military, to attack transgender people for being unfit to serve .?.?. is the height of hypocrisy," said Roem, 32, a former newspaper reporter. "Transgender military members .?.?. have done more to serve and protect their country than Donald Trump ever will."

The latest f lash point in the nation's culture wars illustrates a bind for Roem. She has said she doesn't want to be defined as the transgender candidate, even as that status has brought her attentionf rom the media and prospective donors. As her adv isers have urged, she has diligently focused her campaign local issues, such as Route 28 traffic, jobs and education.

But Roem says she can't stay silent in the face of discrimination that she says sends a message toy oung transgender people that they are "less than," or don't belong. And she says the time Marshall spends trying to pass conservative, social-issues legislation is time he should spend addressing local concerns. 82 "As a transgender person, I find it reprehensible that Delegate Marshall has denigrated the service of transgender Americans who hav e sacrificed their lives so he can have the freedom to say what he says," said Roem, who included a fundraising appeal in one of her tweets about Trump's ban on Wednesday. "It's about time the people of 13th District had a delegate who will represent them instead of singling them out, stigmatizing them and trying to make them f eel awful about who they are."

Roem said she received a $50,000 donation from Milwaukee County Executive Chris Abele, who chairs the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, after Trump announced the transgender military ban. That is on top of the $150,000 she raisedf or her bid, including an earlier $35,000f rom Abele. Abele, who is a major donor to LGBT causes, said he coincidentally was at the White House on Wednesday f or an economic development event with Trump, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R) and others, when he heard about the president's announcement.

Instead of condemning Trump to his f ace, he said, he made the donation to Roem f rom his smart phone while in the East Room. Then he texted her to say his donation would speak louder than any words could.

"This is one election, but it's a first, and so is the f irst woman elected, so is the first African American, thef irst Hispanic," Abele said in an interview. "Transgender candidates being as much of a norm as any other citizen is the best way to prevent policies like a ban on anyone, transgender or otherwise, who want to serve defending this country."

Additional studies needed to evaluate CVD risks of hormone therapy for transgender patients

A new narrative review authored by Carl Streed Jr., MD, at Brigham and Women's Hospital, published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, discusses how more research is needed to better understand cardiovascular disease (CVD) and CVD risk f actors in transgender patients receiving long term cross-sex hormone therapy.

Researchers at BWH and Johns Hopkins Hospital reviewed 13 studies on the effect of cross-sex hormone therapy on CVD among transgender persons. In transgender men, cross-sex hormone therapy was associated with worsening cardiovascular risk f actors, such as increased blood pressure and insulin resistance. In transgender women, cross-sex hormone therapy increased potential thromboembolic risk. For both transgender men and women, the researchers say it is critical to reduce cardiovascular risk f actors to prevent CVD, but especially in older transgender women.

According to the authors, cross-sex hormone therapy is associated with potential risks, but its psychosocial benefits cannot be denied. Use of cross-sex hormone therapy requires continued, shared decision making between patients and clinicians. To ev aluate the difference among various cross-sex hormone therapy regimens, they notef uture research should be based on large prospective cohort studies that include cisgender men and women, transgender men and women receiving cross-sex hormone therapy, and transgender men and women not receiving cross-sex hormone therapy.

Texas businesswomen say they’re not props for anti-trans bathroom bill

–Casandra Matej, CEO of Visit San Antonio, speaking at a rally outside the Texas Capitol opposing a trio of proposed “bathroom bills” that would strictly enforce which restrooms transgender people are allowed to use in government or other public f acilities.

Matej was one of two dozen businesswomen who spoke out against the proposed bills, which conservative Republicans have tried tof orce through the legislature. The rally was organized by the Texas Association of Business, reports the Times Record News. Speakers at the rally attempted to counter arguments inf avor of the anti-transgender measure that have been made by Sen. Lois Kolkhorst (R-Brenham), the sponsor of SB 3, and Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, the leader of the Senate, who has made opposition to LGBTQ rights a cornerstone of his political identity as he eyes a possible run for higher office.

The Texas Association of Business, as well as CEOs from major companies in both Dallas and Houston, have repeatedly told lawmakers they oppose any measures that could bev iewed as discriminating against members of the LGBTQ community. They worry that major corporations, concerts, or conferences could choose to boycott the state if such legislation passes, thereby costing the state extra revenue and new economic opportunities.

Thus f ar, those business leaders have found a sympathetic ear in the form of House Speaker Joe Straus, who has promised to allow hearings on the bill but has thus far refused to allow a vote of thef ull House on any bathroom bill. Straus has previously said he sees such measures as “manufactured” and “unnecessary.”

Mellie Price, the co-founder of the Austin-based tech company The Capital Factory, was one of the other businesswomen at the rally. She told the Times Record Newsthat she believed any bathroom bill would promote a backlash from v oters, but particularly f rom women. “We are tired of being used to promote discrimination,” Price said of womenv oters.

Texas anti-transgender bathroom bill dies

The Texas House of Representatives adjourned on Tuesday without v oting a bill that would limit transgender people from 83 using bathrooms consistent with their gender identity.

Senate Bill 3 would have prohibited schools f rom allowing trans students from using bathrooms and locker rooms that are consistent with their gender identity. Critics also pointed out SB 3 would have undermined trans-inclusive nondiscrimination measures as they relate to access to bathrooms, locker rooms and athletic activities.

“Doing the happy dance now that the Texas House has gone sine die w/o passing any anti trans bills,” wrote Monica Roberts, an trans activist in Houston, on her Facebook page. “Special session officially done with no anti-transgender bathroom bills passed,” wrote Equality Texas on its Twitter page. “We did it Texas.”

Acting Freedom f or All Americans CEO Kasey Suffredini in a statement noted Amazon, United Airlines and Apple are among the businesses that opposed SB 3.

“We saw unprecedented opposition to this legislation — not just from businesses concerned about the economic implications of these proposals, but from conservatives who abhor discrimination; f rom faith leaders who were steadfast in calling out inequality ; f rom families of transgender Texans who demonstrated incredible bravery in sharing their personal stories,” said Suffredini. “Defeating bills like this in Texas sends a strong message to other state legislatures that mean-spirited, discriminatory, anti-LGBTQ proposals are non-starters.”

Trump administration to roll back LGBTQ health care protections

The Trump administration is expected to gut nondiscrimination protections within the Affordable Care Act that allow f or transgender patients to obtain coveragef or their medically necessary transition-related health care.

According to The Hill, the Department of Health and Human Services is planning on issuing a proposed rule that would allow doctors and hospitals to deny treatment to transgender patients and women who have had abortions based on a provider’s indiv idual beliefs.

The prov ision in the Affordable Care Act that is being rolled back, which was was passed in 2016, prohibited healthcare prov iders and insurers who receivef ederal money from denying treatment or coverage to a patient based on their sex, gender identity, or termination or pregnancy, among other conditions. Under the Obama-era rule, doctors and hospitals were also required to provide “medically necessary” services to transgender individuals, as long as they would have provided similar services to cisgender patients.

Once DOJ finishes reviewing the rule, the Office of Management and Budget will undertake its own review, before making the draft available for public comment.

The move doesn’t come as a surprise, particularly given the Trump administration’s elevation of f igures like Roger Severino, the director of the Office for Civil Rights at HHS. Severino and other conservatives have previously opposed the Obama non- discrimination rule, known as Section 1557, believing it to infringe upon health care providers’ sincerely held religious beliefs.

LGBTQ groups, wary of what they v iew as a hostility towards their community on the part of the Trump administration, are now preparing f or legal action should the Obama-era rule be rescinded. “I don’t think they are going to have an easy time,” Joshua Block, a senior staff attorney with the ACLU’s LGBT and HIV Project, said of HHS’ efforts to change the rule, “and we’ll make sure they hear every objection and justify what they’re doing.”

More Than Half Of Parents Say They'd Support A Transgender Kid

From the rollback of the transgender bathroom bill to Trump's attempt to ban trans people from the military because they're a "distraction," it's been an incredibly discouraging stretchf or the trans community. But some positive news has f inally emerged: A new study found that over half of American parents would support their teen's request to transition.

The study, which was conducted online between June 20 and June 22, asked 2,192 adults aged 18 or older their views on hav ing a transgender child. Fifty -three percent of the participants responded that they'd support their trans child. There's one major caveat here: This was a very small study, so it doesn't necessarily represent thev iews of parents across the entire country. However, it is an encouraging sign that acceptance of trans individuals is growing. Furthermore, it's important because a parent's response to their child's transition is key to their mental health.

"Parents have a significant role in raising transgender kids," Dr. Laura Arrowsmith, who works at a trans clinic in Oklahoma, told PR News Wire. "Once they get on board — often after stages of denial, rejection, condemnation, and grief —they become powerf ul advocates at school and with extendedf amily. This is crucial to the child’s well-being."

Transgender teens and adults are at a greater risk of homelessness and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety than the general population. The new study suggests that trans people who are rejected by theirf amilies are at greater 84 risk than their peers who receivef amilial support.

Children recognize they’re ‘transgender’ by age 2: psychologist

SAN FRANCISCO, California, August 16, 2017 (LifeSiteNews) — A licensed psychologist, university professor and director of mental health for children says a two-year-old can discern if he or she is transgender. Diane Ehrensaft of the University of California San Francisco (UCSF) advocates f or “gender fluidity.” In an interview with the Associated Press, Ehren- saft proclaimed, “We expect a two-year-old to know ‘I am boy.’ ‘I am girl.’ So why can’t that also apply to transgender chil- dren?”

Ehrensaft, the co-founder and director of mental health at UCSF’s Child and Adolescent Gender Center, teaches that parents should be comfortable supporting their child in a “genderv ariant journey.” She advocates “throw(ing) out the idea that gender nonconformity is a disorder” and encourages parents to enable their children to “transition” to the opposite sex. For instance, Ehrensaft tells parents that if their son wants to wear dresses, they should buy dresses for him. She emphasizes watching the child’s gender curiosity and noting any gender frustration to determine if they are trans.

Ehrensaft is a staunch supporter of California’s “Rainbow Day Camp,” where transgender children ages four and up can be affirmed in their “genderv ariant journey.” Johanna Olson-Kennedy, another trans toddler activist, teaches parents to take their y oung one to a “Different Gender Weekend“ to determine if the child is transgender. “Do a weekend as a different gender, and see what y ou learn,” said Olson-Kennedy, who is the medical director of The Center for TransYouth Health and Develop- ment at Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles.

And parents across the nation are putting Ehrensaft’s and Olson-Kennedy’s child-altering ideas into practice.

New Jersey Man Secretly Recorded Women in Fitting Rooms: Police

A 36-year-old man secretly f ilmed women trying on clothes in the dressing room of a South Jersey Target store, police said Monday .

A v ictim told police she saw a man’s hand creep under herf itting room inside the store, located at 751 South Route 73, on Aug. 9 around 7:41 p.m. The hand was holding a cell phone, she said. The v ictim attempted to confront thev oyeur, but he ran out of the store.

Police have since identified the suspect as Francis Vain of Williamstown. Investigators found evidence that Vain has taken pictures of this victim and several others in “unknown fitting rooms,” officials said. Vain was charged with first- and third-degree invasion of privacy, according to Evesham police. He was released on his own recognizance.

Transgender teen study reveals shocking substance abuse statistics

A new study has discovered that transgender teenagers are twice as likely to have substance abuse issues than their cisgen- der peers.

Writing in the Journal of School Health, the study f rom Chapman University examined data from hundreds of schools in Califor- nia and discovered this alarming trend. The study covered nearly 5,000 transgender students and over 600,000 cisgender students over a period of two y ears.

It looked at recent, in-school and lifetime use of a number of substances, including cocaine and ecstasy, prescription medications and cough medicine.

The study pointed to the social difficulties that trans teens face, saying: “Transgender adolescents face tremendous social stress in families and schools, which often leads to behavioural health disparities.” 85 According to the study, trans students were over twice as likely as cisgender students to use cocaine or methamphetamine at some point in their life, and over three times as likely to use cigarettes during school.

“Transgender students face discrimination and prejudice, with 1 in 9 pupils receiving death threats. Cop- ing mechanisms when living in a hostile environment will be many and varied, and unfortunately, the use of drugs and alcohol is a route that many young people turn to in times of stress.”

Another study from the University of California, Los Angeles determined that LGBT+ people are more likely to seek treatment f or mental health issues and substance abuse.

Trans students were also twice as likely to report having misused prescription drugs within the previous month.

Head researcher Dr Kris De Pedro stated: “We wanted to assess whether rates of substance use were higher among trans- gender adolescents when compared with non-transgender adolescents. “Our study’s f indings indicate a needf or community and school-based interventions that reduce substance abuse among transgender youth.

“Drug use in youth has long-reaching effects into adulthood.” A related study in 2016 found that LGBT+ people drink and smoke more than their heterosexual counterparts.

The same study determined that LGBT+ people are more likely to suffer from depression, with 40 percent of bisexuals of all genders having had the illness at some point in their lives.

Mermaids continued: “ All this evidence goes towards the growing recognition of a need to increase education and support, and to ensure that transgender children and young people are respected and accepted as members of the human race, just like everyone else. If this doesn’t happen then the future is bleak. 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 Miss September Lexie

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