8 Costly Mistakes Alerting Special Needs Parents Survival Guide to Sleepovers

Needs FocusJune 2011 QUEENS SpecialFREE Family www.webfamilyny.com The sibling Bond It’s not just rivalry 8 costly mistakes Alerting special needs parents Survival guide to sleepovers

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2 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Queens Family June 2011

Features 6 Challenging the ‘Sib Fib’ Why sibling rivalry can actually be a good thing By Laura J. Varoscak 12 Caught empty-handed High-tech treasure hunting is tougher than it sounds By Allison Plitt 16 8 costly mistakes Things to avoid when planning for your special needs child By Joseph P. Donlon, Esq. 18 Facing the stress Overcoming the challenges of raising a special child By Julia Garstecki 20 A double whammy When a second child is diagnosed with autism 32 By Julianna Gil de Lamadrid 24 Sleepovers: The survival guide columns By Myrna Beth Haskell 8 Healthy Living 26 Test-taking jitters by Danielle Sullivan Seven ways students can ease nerves and improve test scores By Tutor Doctor 10 Newbie Dad 32 Best friends By Brian Kantz What to know before adopting that fluffy bundle of joy 14 Good Sense Eating By Risa C. Doherty by Christine M. Palumbo, RD 34 She’s having it all 22 Our Relationships Mompreneur manages beauty biz and family By Joan Emerson, PhD 36 The danger zone 28 Lions and Tigers and Teens Alcohol and pregnancy don’t mix By Myrna Beth Haskell By Reuel S. Amdur 30 Parents Helping Parents by Sharon C. Peters calendar of events 38 Twice the Advice 43 Going Places by Jacqueline and Kerry Donelli Take the family out and find out what’s going on in your town 40 It Figures By Cynthia Washam special sections 50 New & Noteworthy 8 19 Special Needs Directory The hottest new products

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 3 Letter from the publisher Wonderful month of June une is a gorgeous ing farmers are bring- opportunities. I smell grilling on my ets carefully and are cautious in month. The days ing their goods into block almost every night and I’m their expenditures, waiting to see J are the longest so many communities certain it’s in everyone else’s neigh- how this economy will play out they are going to be and throughout NYC. What borhood also. and when the recovery will really the weather is typically a great partnership it I like June as a vacation month begin. ideal. It is the month I is and how beneficial it and lately we’ve been choosing to Maybe you have a recent gradu- was born in, the month is for all of us, farmers travel as soon as my daughter’s ate or a wedding in your family, or my daughter was born and city-dwellers alike. classes are over. It’s a good time maybe, like us, a family loaded with in, the month I got mar- Day camps are start- for this and we relish the change birthdays. June is a special month ried in, the month of ing up and the kids of scenery and pace. The rates to celebrate, and speaking of cel- our graduations, and are busy doing all the are lower and everything is less ebrations, happy Father’s Day to the month when school vacation great things of summer: swimming, crowded than it is later on in the all our dads! So many excuses and for our kids usually begins here in cycling, tennis, skateboarding, and summer. We appreciate the long reasons to have a party this month the city. just being outdoors a lot. The play- hours of daylight and get the most and I hope all of them will turn out June smells good. It has the won- grounds are full and the swings are out of the possibilities. I also like to be loads of fun. derful aroma of fresh flowers, clear flying high. That’s the best part of coming back to a full summer of Thanks for reading. Have a great skies, street fairs and barbecues. June, it’s not too hot and not too beach-going, and I’m an avid fan of month. The strawberries are in and so are cold and it’s easy to be just hanging our local beaches. the blueberries, and the greenmar- out. The beaches are open and the I don’t know what your summer kets all over the city are lively parks are welcoming the throngs of plans are, but I know that a lot of with great produce and the early families who have made it through people are sticking closer to home summer fruits and vegetables. How the long winter and are relishing than they have in the past. Many lucky we all are that our neighbor- the picnics, parties and cookout people are watching their pock- Susan Weiss-Voskidis, Publisher

Staff contact information

Publisher / Advertising / editoriAl: Advertising: Web or Print Address Susan Weiss (718) 260-4554 Family Publications New York/CNG Publisher / business MAnAger: [email protected] or 1 Metrotech Center North Clifford Luster [email protected] 10th Floor sAles MAnAger / Advertising: Brooklyn, NY 11201 Sharon Noble circulAtion sPeciAl AdMinistrAtive AssistAnt: (718) 260-8336 Tina Felicetti [email protected] www.webfamilyny.com sAles rePs: Laurie Falco, Linda Smith, Muriel Puder, Stephanie Stellaccio, Jay Pelc, editoriAl Andrew Mark (718) 260-4554 Production MAnAger: Keith Oechsner [email protected] Art director: Leah Mitch Production director: On Man Tse The acceptance of advertising by Family Publica Join the conversation on Facebook. lAyout MAnAger: Yvonne Farley tions New York does not constitute an endorse- Family Publications New York has been recog- Web designer: Sylvan Migdal ment of the products, services or information nized for editorial and design excellence by PPA. being advertised. We do not knowingly present grAPhic designers: Arthur Arutyunov, Family Publications New York is published Patty Coughlan, Mauro Deluca, Earl Ferrer any products or services that are fraudulent or misleading in nature. monthly by Family Publications New York/CNG. Subscription rate is $35 annually. Reproduction Editorial inquiries, calendar information, advertis- MAnAging editor: Vince DiMiceli of Family Publications New York in whole or part ing rates and schedules and subscription requests without written permission from the publisher is AssistAnt editors: Meredith Deliso, may be addressed to Family Publications New prohibited. All rights reserved. Copyright©2011 Courtney Donahue th York/CNG, One Metrotech Center North, 10 Readership: 220,000. 2010 circulation audit by CAC. coPy editor: Lisa J. Curtis Floor, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201. cAlendAr editor: Joanna Del Buono Family Publications New York can also be contributing Writers: reached by calling (718) 250-4554, emailing Risa Doherty, Allison Plitt, Candi Sparks, [email protected] or by visiting our website, Mary Carroll Wininger webfamilyny.com

4 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Summer Sessions Letter from the publisher Now Open! Children’s Garden Wonderful month of June Kids Dig It! une is a gorgeous ing farmers are bring- opportunities. I smell grilling on my ets carefully and are cautious in month. The days ing their goods into block almost every night and I’m their expenditures, waiting to see J are the longest so many communities certain it’s in everyone else’s neigh- how this economy will play out they are going to be and throughout NYC. What borhood also. and when the recovery will really the weather is typically a great partnership it I like June as a vacation month begin. Registration Underway! ideal. It is the month I is and how beneficial it and lately we’ve been choosing to Maybe you have a recent gradu- The HSBC Children’s Garden at Queens Botanical Garden offers hands-on discovery for children ages 5 – 12. was born in, the month is for all of us, farmers travel as soon as my daughter’s ate or a wedding in your family, or The program encourages fun and learning about plants, gardens and nature in a beautiful, nurturing environment. my daughter was born and city-dwellers alike. classes are over. It’s a good time maybe, like us, a family loaded with in, the month I got mar- Day camps are start- for this and we relish the change birthdays. June is a special month When summer arrives, fun and learning heat up, as children: make salads from their spring vegetable plantings, ried in, the month of ing up and the kids of scenery and pace. The rates to celebrate, and speaking of cel- bake cookies in a solar oven and learn about climate and environment, raise and release butterflies, plant our graduations, and are busy doing all the are lower and everything is less ebrations, happy Father’s Day to delicious summer vegetables, conduct scavenger hunts, build planters and terrariums and lots more! the month when school vacation great things of summer: swimming, crowded than it is later on in the all our dads! So many excuses and Summer 1: Mondays & Wednesdays (9 am – 4 pm) Fall Registration Underway Now! Children’s Garden enjoys lead for our kids usually begins here in cycling, tennis, skateboarding, and summer. We appreciate the long reasons to have a party this month • Full 7-week program: July 6 - August 17; $900/$810 members September 10 - October 1; support fromHSBC Bank USA, N.A. • July 6 - July 27; $490/$441 members the city. just being outdoors a lot. The play- hours of daylight and get the most and I hope all of them will turn out Saturdays 9:30 am - noon Additional support has been provided by • August 1 - August 17; $420/$378 members $160/$144 members the New York City Department of Cultural June smells good. It has the won- grounds are full and the swings are out of the possibilities. I also like to be loads of fun. Affairs; the Zoos, Botanical Gardens, and derful aroma of fresh flowers, clear flying high. That’s the best part of coming back to a full summer of Thanks for reading. Have a great Summer 2: Tuesdays & Wednesdays (9 am – 4 pm) ACT NOW! Book the full Summer Aquariums Grant Program of the New York •Full 7-week program: July 7 - August 18; $900/$810 members session and Fall and receive $50 off. State Office of Parks, Recreation, and skies, street fairs and barbecues. June, it’s not too hot and not too beach-going, and I’m an avid fan of month. •July 7 - July 28; $490/$441 members Ask us about Multi-child and Historic Preservation; and the Walter Kaner Children’s Foundation. The strawberries are in and so are cold and it’s easy to be just hanging our local beaches. •August 2 - August 18; $420/$378 members Refer-A-Friend discounts. the blueberries, and the greenmar- out. The beaches are open and the I don’t know what your summer To learn more, contact: [email protected] • 718-886-3800, ext. 230 kets all over the city are lively parks are welcoming the throngs of plans are, but I know that a lot of with great produce and the early families who have made it through people are sticking closer to home summer fruits and vegetables. How the long winter and are relishing than they have in the past. Many lucky we all are that our neighbor- the picnics, parties and cookout people are watching their pock- Susan Weiss-Voskidis, Publisher

Staff contact information Garden School & Summer Programs Established in 1923 • An Independent Co-Ed College Prep Education • Nursery through Grade 12 Publisher / Advertising / editoriAl: Advertising: Web or Print Address Small classes - Traditional values - Flexible payment plans available Susan Weiss (718) 260-4554 Family Publications New York/CNG Publisher / business MAnAger: [email protected] or 1 Metrotech Center North Day Camp Ages 2-13 • June 27th - August 19th, 2011 Clifford Luster [email protected] 10th Floor sAles MAnAger / Advertising: Brooklyn, NY 11201 Sharon Noble circulAtion sPeciAl AdMinistrAtive AssistAnt: (718) 260-8336 Tina Felicetti [email protected] www.webfamilyny.com sAles rePs: Laurie Falco, Linda Smith, Muriel Puder, Stephanie Stellaccio, Jay Pelc, editoriAl Andrew Mark (718) 260-4554 Production MAnAger: Keith Oechsner [email protected] Art director: Leah Mitch Wednesday Production director: On Man Tse The acceptance of advertising by Family Publica Join the conversation on Facebook. Tours Available lAyout MAnAger: Yvonne Farley tions New York does not constitute an endorse- Family Publications New York has been recog- Call for an appointment Web designer: Sylvan Migdal ment of the products, services or information nized for editorial and design excellence by PPA. being advertised. We do not knowingly present grAPhic designers: Arthur Arutyunov, Family Publications New York is published Patty Coughlan, Mauro Deluca, Earl Ferrer any products or services that are fraudulent or misleading in nature. monthly by Family Publications New York/CNG. Subscription rate is $35 annually. Reproduction Editorial inquiries, calendar information, advertis- MAnAging editor: Vince DiMiceli of Family Publications New York in whole or part ing rates and schedules and subscription requests without written permission from the publisher is AssistAnt editors: Meredith Deliso, may be addressed to Family Publications New prohibited. All rights reserved. Copyright©2011 Courtney Donahue th York/CNG, One Metrotech Center North, 10 Readership: 220,000. 2010 circulation audit by CAC. coPy editor: Lisa J. Curtis Floor, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201. cAlendAr editor: Joanna Del Buono Family Publications New York can also be contributing Writers: reached by calling (718) 250-4554, emailing Growing Great Minds Risa Doherty, Allison Plitt, Candi Sparks, [email protected] or by visiting our website, Mary Carroll Wininger webfamilyny.com 718-335-6363 • www.gardenschool.org

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 5 Parenting

ing their identities and find- children when they respect others’ ing their roles in the family. points of view. Cherish the special This internal struggle can lead bond they share, regardless of their to competition and jealousy. differences; they will, too. However, this rivalry provides the perfect opportunity Teach conflict resolution Challenging for children to examine their The more children talk through emotions and discover who their problems instead of fighting, they are. Working through this burying feelings or acting out, the process helps to shape their easier communication will become. identity. Living with a sibling provides end- What parents can do: sup- less opportunities to practice com- port your children individu- promising, cooperating and working ally, equally, and without as a team to achieve peace. Children the ‘Sib Fib’ judgment. are also in their home environment where they can test limits safely. By Laura J. Varoscak baby, displaying anger, regressing Boost self-image This gives them a chance to practice Why sibling or acting out in other ways — but I Healthy sibling relations “fighting fairly,” and provides good y 4-year-old son, Henry, was disappointed. I wanted Henry to contribute to a higher sense training for interacting with peers. rivalry can awaited the arrival of his embrace his brother wholeheartedly of self-worth and confidence. What parents can do: always start M brother for nine months. I from day one. Fortunately, this phase Compared to single children, by allowing siblings to work through did not plan for him to find out the was short, and by the next day, siblings tend to be more as- differences on their own. If they need actually be news so early, but an hour after tak- Henry was holding Charlie and help- sertive and take better care your involvement, teach them prob- ing a home pregnancy test, Henry ing to feed him — even if he vowed to of themselves. lem-solving techniques. Explain that pulled it out of the trash and ex- never to change his diaper! W hat pa rent s ca n do : sp end fair doesn’t always mean equal. Dis- a good thing claimed, “Two lines — you’re having The relationship Henry and Char- quality one-on-one time with cuss age-appropriate rules and ask a baby!” lie have developed during the past 11 your children. Siblings natu- your children to help you determine In the months that followed, months is a testament to the special rally strive for their parents’ what is fair. Set rules and enforce Henry had questions about his sib- bond siblings share. Brothers and sis- attention, which can lead to consequences. Be consistent. ling: Would it be a girl or a boy? ters will go through trials and tribula- disappointment and frustra- Did it pee and poop inside of me? tions throughout their lives, but the tion when there are others Influence positive behavior How would it come out? We talked, benefits of having a healthy sibling competing for the same thing Siblings shape each other in many read books, looked at pictures and relationship outweigh the challenges. at the same time. ways. As they get older, they develop observed my growing belly. Henry Most Americans have at least one their own lives away from home and couldn’t wait for his little brother to brother or sister. Siblings provide Increase emotional are more vulnerable to outside influ- come, and helped prepare for him one of the longest relationships an awareness ences. How a child acts in different with great anticipation and love. individual will experience, and the Children learn to identify social environments has a significant I delivered Charlie via C-section. complexity and permanency of this and manage their feelings by impact on his sibling’s behavior. It is Henry was at the hospital waiting connection creates intensity be- home, they will be more likely to prac- At first, Henry didn’t like his new little brother, but now, Henry and Charlie have interacting with siblings on not uncommon for younger children to meet his brother for the very tween siblings, bringing conflict as tice these traits themselves, which developed a healthy sibling relationship. a daily basis. The at-home practice to emulate older siblings. If they ob- first time. I looked forward to the well as comfort and joy. Parents will improve their relationships. helps them to express their emo- serve their big brother or sister en- expression on his face — the pride, want harmony between their sons Studies indicate that children who for them to participate in together. tions more appropriately when they gaging in negative behavior, chances joy and excitement. My expectations and daughters, but competition, jeal- Provide companionship have a strong connection with their are outside of the home environ- are, they will do the same. were shattered. Henry was not in- ousy and squabbling are all part Living with a playmate helps siblings are more likely to make and Encourage sharing ment. What parents can do: be aware of terested in seeing me, or Charlie. In of development, and should be ex- lessen feelings of boredom and lone- maintain quality friendships. Siblings are expected to share ev- What parents can do: acknowl- your children’s activities when they fact, he opted not to visit us during pected. Sibling rivalry can be an liness. Participating in common ac- What parents can do: practice erything from possessions and space edge and accept your child’s feel- are not at home. Know where they my four-day hospital stay. When we asset if parents understand the dy- tivities, as well as sharing individ- building effective communication to parental love. This concept is hard ings, and then help manage them ap- are and who they are with. Maximize were back home, Henry walked in namic and nurture their children ual interests, strengthens the bond skills, especially when problems to grasp by young children, but over propriately. Use words to help your positive influences as much as pos- and headed straight for his toys. He appropriately. between people. Spending time to- arise. This will prepare your child time, brothers and sisters learn the child identify the negative emotions sible. Let them know you care. didn’t even glance at Charlie. gether — playing, laughing, and jok- for interacting with peers and hope- importance of sharing, and use it to and discuss safe ways to express Parents of only one child — don’t It is normal for some children Healthy sibling relationships… ing — deepens the relationship and fully reduce potential conflict. their advantage when they partici- them. fret! Siblings may share built-in ben- to react this way — ignoring the contribute to overall well-being fosters trust. pate in household chores and respon- efits, but single children can learn Longitudinal studies reveal What parents can do: as children Decrease stress sibilities. Sharing also has its ben- Encourage respect many of the same skills with friends that strong ties between sib- grow older, life gets busier and sib- Close sibling relationships provide efits and joys: sharing family history Being part of a family means and extended family. A healthy so- lings during youth contribute lings often go their separate ways. protection and comfort, which can through memories and stories is an learning to love and respect oth- cial life develops if young children On the playground to social, emotional and physi- Reserve time for siblings to engage in help to reduce stress, especially dur- invaluable gift that lasts forever. ers. Over time, siblings learn to rec- have the opportunity to interact and What do you like most about your sibling(s)? cal health in adulthood. These meaningful activities together. ing difficult times. Research shows What parents can do: point out ognize and appreciate each others’ play with others of similar age early “We do things together — like go to the park and play with toys.” (Juan, findings are independent of in- that children who have supportive the benefits of sharing. Help your different perspectives. Sharing their on. This can be achieved through age 6) fluential factors such as birth Develop social skills brothers and sisters are less lonely, children set and respect personal lives with siblings naturally builds caregivers, play dates, play groups “They make me laugh when I’m sad or mad.” (Mo, age 7) order, age spacing, gender or Practicing important communica- self-conscious and fearful than chil- boundaries, then discuss why they acceptance, tolerance and empathy and preschool. Spending time with “No matter what, my sisters love me.” (Sophie, age 8) socioeconomic status. tion skills with siblings can help children without siblings. are important. in children. Consequently, this in- peers on a regular basis will teach “She keeps my secrets.” (Mia, age 9) What parents can do: be dren interact more effectively with What parents can do: when ap- creases their ability to help others sharing, empathy and conflict reso- “When I’m having trouble with something, my brother gives me advice or the best role model possible. peers outside of the home. Loving propriate, encourage your children Promote individuality and get along with people from dif- lution. The rewards of establishing tells me what to do.” (Ali, age 10) If your children observe gener- brothers and sisters begin new re- to rely on each other for emotional Comparison between siblings is ferent backgrounds. warm, loving relationships in child- osity, patience, and respect at lationships with positive attitudes. support. Suggest positive activities inevitable, because they are form- What parents can do: praise your hood will last a lifetime.

6 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Parenting

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 7 HealtH Time to play it safe How dangerous is your local playground?

ith school out this month, parks, schools and other recreation are a few primary safety hazards a chorus of “I’m bored” areas across all 50 states. It’s ini- that parents should look out for W will be heard throughout tiative, called National Playground when taking their kids to the play- our city as kids try to find activities Safety Week 2011, takes place each ground. The National Program for to fill their days. For many parents spring to bring awareness to the Playground Safety created a check- HealtHy and grandparents, the playground many safety hazards that disheveled list of things to be sure of to create a is nothing short of a lifesaver. Yet, playgrounds cause. Unfortunately, safe environment at playgrounds: living increasingly, many area playgrounds New York is not one of the states par- • Supervision Danielle Sullivan are posing safety concerns. ticipating in this initiative, but the or- Adult presence is needed to watch The National Program for Play- ganization hopes that will change. for potential hazards, observe, inter- ground Safety reports that each Annette Suarez hopes so, too. She cede and facilitate play when neces- year, “200,000 children are treated says her 2-year-old daughter, Kayla, sary. Strings on clothing or ropes for injuries sustained from unsafe was playing at a playground inside used for play can cause accidental playgrounds, and approximately 15 Marine Park in Brooklyn when she strangulation if they get caught on children are killed as a result of tripped over a protruding corner equipment. those injuries.” of a play-mat while running to the • Age-appropriate The organization’s goal is to swing set. Kayla fell directly on her All children should play on age- improve the safety and quality of face and knocked her two front teeth appropriate equipment. Preschool- backwards. ers, ages 2 to 5, and children ages “It was horrifying,” says Su- 5 to 12 are developmentally differ- arez. “She was screaming and ent and need different equipment there was blood everywhere. located in separate areas to keep the The dentist was able to save playground safe and fun for all. her two front baby teeth, but • F a l l surfacing she is afraid to go back to the Nearly 70 percent of all playground playground. And frankly, so injuries are related to falls, and what am I!” a child falls on can make a difference. Suarez says the play-mats Acceptable surfaces include loose-fill were not properly adhered materials, such as hardwood wooden and looked as though they fiber; shredded rubber; sand; pea came unglued, possibly due to gravel; and synthetic surfaces, such winter weather. as rubber tiles and mats; and syn- In addition, she says at least thetic poured surfaces. five other play-mats were trip- Playground surfaces should not ping accidents just waiting to be concrete, asphalt, grass, black- happen, but she hadn’t no- top, packed dirt, or rocks. ticed them until it was too • E q u i p m e n t management late. Check to make sure the equip- Play-mats can also become ment is anchored safely in the incredibly hot — long before ground, all equipment pieces are in summer officially starts. good-working order, S-hooks are en- The Indian Road Play- tirely closed, bolts are not protrud- ground at Inwood Hill Park in ing, and there are no exposed foot- the Bronx has play-mats that ings, etc. Thoroughly inspect your are heat traps. Parents who child’s playground before allowing go there have reported that a your child to roam freely. child burned his hands on the For more tips on safety on the mats when the temperature playground, check out playground- was just 66 degrees. safety.org. Moms and dads have be- Danielle Sullivan, a Brooklyn-born come so enraged over the mom of three, has worked as a writer playground’s safety condi- and editor in the parenting world for tions, they created a Facebook more than 10 years, and was recently page to alert other parents, honored with a Gold award for her grandparents, and caretak- health column by the Parenting Publica- ers. tions of America. Danielle also writes Besides play-mats, there for Babble.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 9 Parenting

style uniform. Suddenly, he was a player for the New York Mets wear- ing a pin-striped jersey with his Dressing up name and number on the back. And his imagination soared. For the rest of the summer, even Will his boys discover the fun? a f te r L i t t l e L e a g u e s e a s o n h a d e n d e d , my son would put on his jersey and few years ago, I had the In today’s age of electronics, baseball pants every single day and pleasure of accompanying where traipsing an avatar through pretend he was in the big leagues, A my mom and my aunt on a parallel universes is as easy as swinging a real bat outdoors and an tour of their childhood home. They pressing the “on” button, dress- imaginary one inside the house. We hadn’t been inside the place in de- up may sound quaint, but it also encouraged the whole thing by sup- Newbie DaD cades. A church owns the house sounds wonderfully refreshing. To plying miscellaneous sports gear Brian KanTz now, so it looks quite a bit different be a kid with an imagination — a real like batting gloves, wristbands and than it did when they were kids. imagination — is an awesome thing. face masks. My mom, the dress-up The living room serves as a Sunday Until recently, I was getting a little expert, sent her grandsons a couple school classroom, the dining room concerned that my two boys, of junior football uniforms, com- is a conference center, and the bed- ages 4 and 6, may have plete with helmets and shoulder rooms have been converted to office been a little pads. The boys began carefully and storage space. lacking in storing these precious “dress- Still, enough of the house’s origi- the imagina- up” items in a box nal character was left intact to spark tion depart- under the bed. some colorful memories — like the ment. They winter when they sprayed the base- just didn’t ment floor with a garden hose to make seem to an indoor ice rink (note to my boys: I be into know it’s a sweet idea, but don’t even the whole think about it!); the time their little brother was launched head- first from a rocking horse that he rocked on too fast; and some wonderful Thanksgivings, including imaginative that November day back in 19 … well, play thing. And they back when my mom was born. It was certainly weren’t fans of getting a thrill for me to hear all of those sto- dressed up, unless ringing a door- ries while standing in the house that bell for candy was part of the deal. was so integral to their lives. At their cousins’ house, where fun As we walked up the stairs make-believe costumes are readily to the second floor, my mom available, the boys scowl at the mere and aunt were immediately suggestion that they don a safari hat drawn to the giant, floor-to- and vest, or a hard hat and tool belt. ceiling cupboards that lined Not no way, not no how. the hallway. “Dress-ups!” The two boys were just not into Now, at nearly any time of day, the two joyfully said in dressing up, and it had me scratch- you can hear the sounds of sports- unison. My aunt opened ing my head. My brothers and I themed imaginative play in our one of the cupboard doors played cops-and-robbers and cow- house. It usually begins with the and explained boys-and-Indians when we were singing of the “Star Spangled Ban- how the sisters kids. We put on the costumes. We ner” (and the Canadian national an- used to keep became Superman and Captain them if they’re playing hockey). The their “dress- America when we wore our Un- anthems are then followed by the up” clothes in deroos (sing it with me: “Underoos introduction of the starting lineups that very spot. are fun to wear!”) and we were KISS and complete play-by-play calls of all They loved to play dress-up when we painted our faces white the action. and they had shirts, skirts, dresses, and cranked up “Rock and Roll All It’s very cute. pants, coats, hats, gloves and shoes Nite” on the record player. I remem- Now, I wouldn’t go and call their fit for a thousand adventures — a ber that being pretty silly and fun, sports uniforms “dress-ups” in front spot of tea with the Queen of Eng- and I didn’t want my kids to miss of them. That might ruin the whole land, dinner at the White House with out. thing. But I do tell them how much I the President of the United States, or Then, it happened. My older son love their little imaginations. an afternoon of being shipwrecked joined his first Little League team Brian Kantz always played the part on an island in the South Pacific. last year and was issued a uniform. of star-eyed guitarist Ace Frehley. Visit Whatever the occasion, the girls Not the generic red shirts and caps Brian online at www.briankantz.com could imagine themselves right in we were given as kids, but the real or drop him a note at thenewbiedad@ the middle of it, dressed the part. deal. A real Major League Baseball- yahoo.com.

10 QUEENS Family • June 2011 At 11:15 pm, she needs to be treated like a princess, not just a patient.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 11 ACTIVITIES Caught empty- handed High-tech BY ALLISON PLITT n January, I discovered that Barry (back, left) with his geocaching treasure some Queens parents had been group. (At right) Barry’s son holds an I geocaching around the neighbor- item he found. hood with their kids, and it sounded hunting is like something that would be fun for betical and numerical code on it, my family. which can be followed online as tougher than But it took a lot of coaxing before it is moved from cache to cache. The find, geocach- I finally worked up the nerve to go geobugs are tracked on maps on the ing could at least get me on one of these high-tech treasure geocache website, which also lists and my family outside and exercising it sounds hunts with my own kid. caches all over the world that can be when we have nothing better to do. Geocaching involves using a uploaded to GPS programs on iPads, Barry admitted that, during his Global Positioning System device to BlackBerries, and Androids. family’s outing, some onlookers did find caches, or containers, that have Barry brought the geobug home gave funny looks. Geocachers call been hidden (but not buried) out- to Queens and planned to place it in bystanders “muggles,” (for you non- doors. Players then share their expe- a cache in the area. On a Saturday magicians, the word comes from the riences online. in March, Barry and his clan went “Harry Potter” books) and mention in Barry, a fellow parent at my daugh- to Flushing Meadow Park and found their caches to “beware of muggles.” ter’s elementary school, shared how three out of the four caches. He Not only must geocachers place their exciting it was for him and his family said that inside every geocache con- caches secretly enough so that the to follow clues and find all the container, there’s a written log on which general public can’t find them, but tainers and their treasures. you record the date that you found they must also be aware of bystand- Barry had downloaded a geocache the box. Some of the caches request ers — so they don’t question their application to his iPhone that listed you take something out of the con- explorations and call the police. all the caches within a certain zip tainer and replace it with something The following month, while I was code with clues on how to find them. of equal value. Placing the geobug in on vacation in Florida, I was surfing A few days later, he e-mailed me a one such cache, Barry later logged the applications store on my An- photo of his son holding a cache the its code online, and he and his fam- droid for geocache apps. There were size of a thimble in the palm of his ily watched it move across the map six, so I downloaded a free app with hand! I couldn’t visualize myself find- from California to New York. the highest user-approval rating. ing something so small anywhere out- The way he described the day — For someone who can’t even read doors, much less in a pile of foliage. walking through the park, trekking a compass, I thought the application Then, a few months later, Barry through the grass and trees with was amazing. It had a live Google sent me another e-mail. He had been his nearest and dearest — sounded map that positioned my exact loca- on a business trip in Los Angeles like they had all enjoyed their ex- tion at that moment, all the nearest and, while there, he had gone geo- plorations. From my perspective, it caches within a mile, and directions caching. seemed that no matter how futile it on how to get to each location. There In one of his caches, he had found might be to search for something of was a compass that provided the a “geobug,” or a tag with a alpha- no value that I may never actually coordinates of each cache, and indi-

12 QUEENS Family • June 2011 cated how close I was to standing life will I forget what a buttonwood www.joesmusiccenter.org on the exact latitude and longitude tree looks like! of the container. Most importantly, My mother was willing to ac- Joe’s c the application led me to the geo- company me on the second cache, Musi ! Music Lesson ges cache website, which has instruc- because she liked that we had been s for All A tions on geocaching, and sells gear learning about indigenous vegeta- and containers for exploration. tion. But during the search for Summer Program - Group Lessons Ask about our The website also allows geo- “What a Racquet,” the only knowl- 3 Different Disciplines - Singing F Dancing F Instruments Birthday Parties!! cachers to create their own ac- edge we acquired was about places (Piano, Drums, Violin, Guitar & Saxaphone) & Music Theory counts and write about their ex- to play tennis for free. 3 wk. program w/ concert • Aug. 1–19 • 9am-3pm • Early drop off • Late pick-up periences. Geocachers have their One of the logs said that the box own lingo on their logs, which I could be found at the exact coor- Summer Arts Academy: Group classes available in music/audio production, musical theater, & more needed to decipher to understand dinates listed for the cache. Again, Joe’s Music Academy Locations their comments. For example, DNF as my daughter opted for the play- 114-04 Farmers Blvd. F St. Albans, NY 11412 5712 Church Ave F Brooklyn, NY 11225 means “did not find,” and TFTC ground, I paced through the park 718.454.3036 718.774.0700 stands for “thanks for the cache.” trying to find the exact coordinates. Joe’s Music Store F 114-02 Farmers Blvd. F St. Albans, NY 11412 F 718.454.3030 Encouraging other participants to I ended up across the street from be environmentally aware, geo- the tennis court, standing in front of cachers sometimes write “cache an orange traffic-safety cone hiding in, trash out,” which indicates that the tow pull on the front of a boat. Jorday Rivera’s they are keeping their exploration Removing the cone, I saw a bunch of DANCE STUDIO of ASTORIA areas clean of garbage. tiny wires tied around the tow, but After perusing the list of com- no container. ments for the nearby caches, I Exasperated, I returned to New found many of the logs had been York and told Barry about my ex- written by tourists who were vis- periences. He told me it was hard iting Florida and were happy to to find caches, as they are not • Ballet • Jazz • Tap explore beautiful areas near their always exactly at the coordinates, • Mini Belly Dance • Youth Salsa hotels that never would have been and are hidden in areas that blend • Baby Salsa • Baby Hip-Hop • Baby Ballet listed in a guidebook. in well with their surroundings. As- • Kids Merengue & Bachata In the end, I chose two caches suring me that I would find my next Summer Programs Birthday Parties that had been found and logged in cache, Barry said he and his family Register Now within the past week. Both were in were going geocaching at his son’s For More Information Call Yissel Feliz public parks, so if my daughter got birthday party at the Alley Pond 718.715.1637 • www.jorday.com impatient, my mother could take Environmental Center. her to the playground while I con- During the party, the staff gave tinued to search. us a guided tour of the outside area. With all this new-found technol- While the kids and parents walked ogy at my fingertips, I set off the next on the wooden paths around the The Learning Tree day with my family, camera, and An- pond, Barry held up his iPhone and Now Registering For droid in tow. One of the caches said walked through poison ivy, thorn that if we found it, we should put bushes and tall grasses. Prepared FREE UNIVERSAL PRE-K something in it. These replaceable to search with him in my long (children born in 2007) objects, called “geoswag,” can be pants and rain boots, I ventured Nursery & Pre-K Programs for September 2011 anything of little monetary value, into the treacherous elements with such as coins, key chains, plastic a few other willing families. After 10 Extended Hours 7:00 am - 6:30 pm toys, or stickers. For my cache, I minutes of searching under every brought along a bag of marbles be- rock, bush and tree, we came out cause, figuratively speaking, I was empty-handed. sure I was going to lose mine just by Trying to find that elusive hid- participating in this activity. den treasure, I still go on my geo- The first cache, named “Button- caching application every day to wood” by its creator, was in a pub- scout out the neighborhood for lic park where there were signs de- caches — in parks, at historical Registration Open for Summer Camp scribing the different trees planted landmarks, or just in a place that call for open house dates there. The coordinates took us to a is described as: “Go at sunset. The sign which described buttonwood view is beautiful.” SPORTS • FIELD TRIPS • MUSIC • DANCE • ARTS & CRAFTS trees. After about two minutes of I don’t know if I’ll ever find a FILTERED POOL • SWIMMING INSTRUCTION ON PREMISES searching, my daughter gave up cache, but I reassure myself that and decided she wanted to go to it’s not about the destination — but Junior Group – Ages 2 to 4 the nearby playground instead. rather the journey. Middle Group – Ages 5 to 6 Continuing to comb the area for If you’re interested in geocach- Senior Group – Ages 7 to 13 the next 10 minutes, I searched ing, visit www.geocache.com. every buttonwood tree and found Allison Plitt is a staff writer for PRIVATE GROUNDS nothing. I dropped the bag of mar- Family Publications New York. If you TRANSPORTATION AVAILABLE bles under one of the trees, be- have any ideas you’d like to share with 74-15 Juniper Blvd. No., Middle Village cause I felt sorry for anyone else her about resources for families in 718-899-2020 • www.thelearningtree.org who was going to search fruitlessly Queens, please feel free to contact her for the container. Never again in my at allison [email protected].

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 13 HealtHy eating What kids eat & why

tarting in the womb, a strategies don’t necessarily mother’s influence on cause their children to over- S her child’s nutrition is eat or become picky eaters. irrefutable. Researchers are The researchers admit the discovering just how much parents’ urges may be in re- sway she has, along with sponse to eating habits their other influencers in a child’s children already have. world. • Mothers and friends. Good sense • Maternal personality. When a young child’s mother Mothers with many nega- is present, he tends to eat eatinG tive thoughts and feelings more nourishing foods than Christine M. PaluMbo, rD are more likely to give their when he’s with his friends. children unhealthy food, ac- In a study in the American cording to a 2009 study pub- Journal of Clinical Nutrition, lished in Maternal and Child boys and girls ages 5 to 7 Nutrition. The mothers who ate fewer calories from un- were emotionally unstable, healthy snacks and desserts anxious, angry, sad, had poor when their mothers were with self-confidence or a negative them, compared to when their view of the world, were far friends were alongside them. more likely to give their chil- their children eat whatever they • Grandma. Grandmoth- dren sweet and fatty foods. Yet there wanted tended to be permissive in ers can greatly influence the nutri- was no link between maternal per- their parenting styles as well. Par- tion environment of their preschool- sonality and the amount of fruit and ents who fell somewhere between aged grandchildren. In a Maryland vegetables a child receives. The re- permissive and authoritarian were study, grandmothers shaped their searchers suspect the moms may be those who set limits on their kids’ grandchildren’s fruit and vegetable trying to compensate for their nega- diets and enforced them through consumption by purchasing and tive emotions. more positive approaches, such as providing food for their daughters • Parenting styles. Parents with leading by example, to get their kids and grandchildren. However, grand- extreme parenting styles usually fail to eat well. This authoritative ap- mothers also reported consuming to serve as good dietary role mod- proach is the best way to influence less than the recommended daily els for their children, according to a child’s diet. amount of fruits and vegetables, Oklahoma State University research. • nagging. Mothers who pressure which suggests they might have a Parents who are strict in general their children to clean their plates negative effect on how much pro- also tend to have an authoritarian may help produce a fussy eater, duce their grandchildren eat. approach to their children’s eating, while tight control of what they eat • buying healthy foods, or not. such as banning certain foods or could make children prone to over- While parents prefer nutritious foods using pressure to get them to eat eating, according to a new study in for the entire family, their preference fruits and vegetables. On the other the Journal of the American Dietetic for healthy foods is about 50 per- hand, permissive parents who let Association. But parents’ mealtime cent weaker when they’re selecting products for the kids, rather than for themselves. The likely explanation Beef, wild rice and mushroom bake NUTRITION INFORMATION: (per is that parents give in at the grocery serving) 380 calories; 11 g fat; 86 store — or before they even get total recipe time: 1 to 1 and 1/4 hours. DIRECTIONS: Preheat oven to 375°F. mg cholesterol; 822 mg sodium; 36 there — compromising their prefer- Makes four servings Heat large, nonstick skillet over medium g carbohydrate; 2.1 g fiber; 35 g pro- ences based on what they believe heat until hot. add ground beef and INGREDIENTS: tein; 8.1 mg niacin; 0.4 mg vitamin their children will accept, according mushrooms; cook 8 to 10 minutes, 1 pound ground beef (90 percent to B6; 2.3 mcg vitamin B12; 4.9 mg to a study published in the Journal of breaking into 3/4-inch crumbles and 95 percent lean) iron; 26.7 mcg selenium; 6.4 mg zinc. stirring occasionally. Remove drippings. Consumer Behavior. 8 ounces assorted fresh wild this recipe is an excellent source of tip: While you provide the food stir in rice, contents of seasoning packet protein, niacin, vitamin B6, vitamin mushrooms (such as cremini, and tomatoes. spoon beef mixture your child eats, he decides what shiitake and oyster) or button B12, iron, selenium and zinc. into 2-quart baking dish. stir in water to eat and how much. Try to strike mushrooms, sliced amount indicated in rice package direc- COOk’S TIp: Cooking times are for a balance between strictness and 1 package (5.6 to 6.6 ounces) wild tions, plus 1/2 cup additional water. fresh or thoroughly thawed ground being overly relaxed. rice mix with seasonings Cover with aluminum foil. Bake in 375°F beef. Ground beef should be cooked Christine M. Palumbo, RD is an award- 1/4 cup sun-dried tomatoes, not oven 45 to 50 minutes or until water is to an internal temperature of 160°F. winning dietitian and mother of three packed in oil absorbed. Uncover; sprinkle with cheese. Color is not a reliable indicator. from Naperville, IL. She wishes she’d had Water Continue baking, uncovered, 5 minutes Recipe courtesy of the this knowledge when her children were 1/2 cup shredded italian blend cheese or until cheese is melted. National Cattlemen’s Beef Association. preschoolers. Follow her on Facebook at Christine Palumbo Nutrition.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 15 special needs 8 costly mistakes By Joseph p. Donlon, esq. Here’s how to make sure that he is not allow you to help your child Things to provided for in case something hap- after you are incapacitated or gone. e all hope to live long lives, pens to you. When your child requires — or is avoid when but sudden illness or acci- MIsTAKe 1: Disinheriting the likely to require — governmental W dents are impossible to child. Many disabled people rely assistance to meet his basic needs, predict, so it’s never too early to on Supplemental Security Income, you should consider establishing a planning for start making sure your loved ones Medicaid or other government ben- Special Needs Trust. will be taken care of when you’re efits to provide food and shelter. You MIsTAKe 2: Ignoring the special your special gone — especially if you have a child may have been advised to disinherit needs when creating a trust for the with special needs. your disabled child (the child who child. A trust that is not designed Unfortunately there are common needs your help most!) to protect with your child’s special needs in needs child mistakes people make when plan- that child’s public benefits. But these mind will probably render your child ning for the future that could cost a benefits rarely provide more than ineligible for essential benefits. The special needs child in the long run. subsistence, and this “solution” does Special Needs Trust is designed to promote the disabled person’s comfort and happiness without sacrific- ing eligibility. Special needs can include medical and dental expenses not covered by Medicaid, cutting-edge or non-traditional treatments or therapies, necessary or desirable equipment (such a specially equipped vans), training and education, insurance, transportation, and essential dietary needs. If the trust is sufficiently funded, the disabled person can also receive computers, books, games, vacations, movies, payments for a companion, and other self-esteem and quality-of- life enhancing expenses — the sorts of things you now provide. MIsTAKe 3: Creating a “generic” special needs Trust that doesn’t fit your child. Even some Special Needs Trusts are unnecessarily inflexible and generic. In most cases, an attorney with some knowledge of the area can prevent a trust from invalidating the child’s public benefits; however, many trusts are not customized to the child’s specific needs. As a result, the child fails to receive the benefits that the parents provided when they were alive. Another mistake is when lawyers put a “pay-back” provision into the trust, rather than allowing the re- mainder of the trust to go to others upon the death of the special needs child. These pay-back provisions are necessary in certain types of Special Needs Trusts — and not necessary in others. An attorney who knows when they should be used can save your family hundreds of thousand of dollars, or more.

16 QUEENS Family • June 2011 71-25 Main Street A child without special needs can Flushing, NY11367 obtain more resources as he reaches Tel: 718·261·0211 adulthood, and can work to meet Fax: 718·268·0556 essential needs. Your special needs 72-52 Metropolitan Ave. child may not have that opportunity. Middle Village, NY 11379 Tel: 718·326·0055 Fax: 718·326·0637 MISTAKE 4: Procrastination. may be entitled to half of the funds Since no one knows when they and will not likely care for your will die or become incapacitated, special needs child. it is important to plan for your spe- • W h a t if your child with the cial needs child early, just as you money dies or becomes incapaci- would for other dependents, such tated while your special needs child as minor children. Unlike other is still living? Will his or her heirs We Provide: • Classes in English, • Occupational Therapy beneficiaries, your special needs care for your special needs child Spanish, Hebrew • Physical Therapy child may never be able to com- as thoughtfully and completely as & Russian • Family Support pensate for your failure to plan. your child with the money did? • Integrated Classes Groups and Training A child without special needs • W h a t if your child loses a law- • Comprehensive • Adaptive can obtain more resources as he suit and has to pay a large judgment Evaluations Physical Education reaches adulthood, and can work or has other creditor problems? • School Psychologist • Fully Equipped to meet essential needs. Your spe- The court will certainly require • Counseling Playground cial needs child may not have that your child to turn that money over • Social Work Services • Music, Art, Library opportunity. to his or her creditors. • Speech Therapy & Science MISTAKE 5: Failing to invite When you create a Special Needs PoSiTiVe other people to contribute to the Trust, you protect all of your chil- BegiNNiNgS trust. A key benefit of creating the dren. The trust facilitates easier iMPAcTS trust now is that your extended record-keeping and allows your A LiFeTiMe family and friends can make gifts other children to rely on the assis- Services At No cost to the trust or remember the trust tance of a professional trustee, if To Parents!!! as they plan their own estates. In needed. Siblings of a special needs Funded by NYS Educational Dept. and NYS Dept. of Health addition to the gifts and inheri- child often feel a great responsibil- tances from other people who love ity for that child, as they have all of your child, you can leave your own their lives. When you provide clear assets to the trust in your will. You instructions and a helpful frame- can also name the trust as a ben- work, you lessen the burden on all Why do the best hospitals eficiary of life insurance and retire- of your children and build a loving, ment benefits. involved relationship that benefits MISTAKE 6: Choosing the wrong your child with special needs. turn to St. Mary’s? trustee. During your life, you and MISTAKE 8: Failing to protect your spouse can manage the trust. the special needs child from pred- When you and your spouse are no ators. Thieves, con men and other longer able to serve as trustee, the criminals look to take advantage of person or persons you specify in those who are most vulnerable, like the trust instructions will become your special needs child. A child the new trustee, such as a profes- trapped in the system with precious sional trustee or a team of advi- little resources and without anyone sors. Make sure that whomever you to look after his affairs can easily choose is financially savvy, well- fall prey to these predators. When organized, and ethical. you establish a Special Needs Trust MISTAKE 7: Relying on your and properly structure your estate other children to use their money plan to protect your special needs for the benefit of your special child, you ensure that your child needs child. This can be a tem- will never be left alone, will always Perhaps because we We’re St. Mary’s Healthcare System for Children, porary solution, such as during be provided for, and will always continue to develop and we’re building hope and restoring lives for patients with special healthcare needs. Our unique a brief incapacity, if your other have a trustworthy person — either the most innovative children are financially secure and a guardian or trustee, or both — brand of rehabilitation and specialized care helps ways of caring for kids from just after birth into adulthood to heal, have money to spare. However, watching over him. children with special grow and thrive. It is why many great hospitals because of the potential problems, Joe Donlon is an Estate Planning turn to us after their course of treatment. this solution will not protect your Attorney who has in-depth experience healthcare needs. Whether at our inpatient facility, at home or in the child after you and your spouse working with parents who have a spe- community, St. Mary’s delivers the pioneering have died, or when siblings have cial needs child. He offers the free ar- post-acute care that children need to be their best. their own expenses and financial ticle, “7 Key Questions Parents Should priorities. For example: Ask About Special Needs Trusts.” To • W h a t if your child with the receive a free copy, send an e-mail to 718.281.8800 money divorces? His or her spouse [email protected].

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 17 Special needS Facing the stress By Julia Garstecki cles her experiences with her daugh- sion by making self-care a priority. Overcoming ters. “All I Can Handle; I’m No Mother She focused on nutrition, and sought arenting a child with a disabil- Theresa” is funny, sad, and informa- the help of educated professionals. the challenges ity comes with its own set of tive. When asked what helped get Because she made time for herself, P unique frustrations: the level her through the worst of times, she she says, she had more energy and of exhaustion might be tripled; eval- said that there were moments in enthusiasm for her family. of raising a uations and assessments are often which all she could do was hope. Stagliano echoes Julie’s sentiment scary and stressful; and there may Kim suggests parents let their about needing to have a life. While special child not be one best way to move forward emotions take course; if you need taking an exercise class or going out with therapy. to cry, do it. It can be cathartic. She with friends might be best, that in- Fortunately, most mothers of chil- says she remembers feeling like a volves finding child care, which can dren with disabilities are positive, hamster on an exercise wheel. She be tricky. If the only option is watch- proactive, and energetic. They lead was exhausted, but knew that her ing a favorite television program, or girls needed care. There reading a good book, do it. To main- will not be an end to the tain the endurance necessary for demands, she says, so you raising a child with special needs, it’s need to learn to deal with important to lose yourself in another it. world from time to time. It’s in those To start, Stagliano sug moments that you might determine gests building a support what you need for yourself, whether system. it’s rearranging the therapy sched- Family members or ule, getting help with chores, or get- neighbors can offer love ting out of the house by yourself for and — hopefully — peri- an hour or two a week. There are also odic babysitting, but par- activities that your whole family can ents of special-needs kids enjoy, and they include special as- also need to find families sistance. One, Programs to Educate in similar circumstances. All Cyclists, helps individuals with Find national websites disabilities develop cycling skills for that provide information recreation, fitness and transporta- and research, as well as tion. You can also try horseback rid- ones that offer an online ing. Therapeutic riding facilities are community of parents common, and children who never whose needs mirror your thought to get on a horse are amazed own, and with whom you at the independence and enjoyment can chat. Look to see if riding can offer. So, explore the Inter- there are support groups net, ask questions, and keep an open near you. Through these mind. Finding a new family hobby websites and support can bring a feeling of accomplish- groups, you may also find ment, bonding and fun. therapy tips, nutrition and It won’t always be easy, but there diet information, and pos- is help. sible social outlets for you If you are struggling to find re- support groups, are activists in the and your family. sources, contact your school dis- special education community, and • Julie McAllister, a mother of one trict. Or, if the school cannot help are champions for their children. child with Asperger’s Syndrome and you, start making phone calls and However, even the most optimis- one child with food allergies, has had don’t stop until you find what you are tic of these mothers has struggled her share of depression. Before her looking for. with anxiety and worry at one time children were diagnosed, she says Kim Stagliano’s book, “All I Can Han- — or 100. Here are some suggestions she began to feel lonely, guilty and dle; I’m No Mother Theresa,” is available from parents who have been there isolated as she did her best to raise in bookstores now. You can also visit her — and what they’ve learned along her sons. There was very little sleep- website, www.kimstagliano.com. the way. ing going on at her house, she says, Julia Garstecki is a freelance writer • K i m Stagliano, a mother of three and between the exhaustion and her living in western New York. Her passion autistic daughters, is somewhat of sons’ mysterious meltdowns, McAl- for writing is second only to her passion an expert on the subject. She’s even lister rarely left her home. She says for her family. Contact her with your sto- written a book in which she chroni- she finally began to treat her depres- ries at [email protected].

18 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Special Needs DIRECTORY Creating real OppOrtunities fOr learning At The Shield Institute we have special expertise supporting children with autism spectrum disorders and their families. We offer special education, diagnostic and clinical services in our Positive Beginnings else. By working cooperatively with two preschool programs in Queens and in the Bronx. Additionally we provide family workshops Preschool organized labor, they operate fair and to our parents with children with ASD and to others parents in our surrounding communities. 71-25 Main Street, Flushing dignified workplaces that bring added The Shield Institute is affiliated with the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services and is 718-261-0211 value to its mission as a human-service a member of the United Way. 72-52 Metropolitan Avenue, agency. Staff is comprised of certified licensed professionals and other Middle Village Free Parent Workshops 718-326-0055 expert staff offer quality educational, (Spanish translation is available for all workshops) Evaluation Site: 72-60 clinical and family support services Metropolitan Avenue, Middle to more than 1,600 infants, children, april Workshops Village adults and their families throughout April 7th 718-894-8400 New York City. In the year 2000, Location: 144-61 Roosevelt Ave., Flushing, NY 11354 We are preschools servicing typically the agency embarked on a five-year Facilitating Play and Language for Young Children With Autism developing and special education chil- plan to establish structured teaching Presenter: Harla Rudolph dren ages 3-5. Bilingual Spanish and through The Education of Autistic and Time: 9:45am to 12:00pm Hebrew classes are available. The nur- Communication Handicapped Children April 29th turing environment caters to children (TEACCH), which incorporates the best Location: 144-61 Roosevelt Ave., Flushing, NY 11354 with special needs and their families to practices in order to meet the need of Family and Sibling Issues When Raising a Child with Autism each child. For further information on Presenter: Debbie Meringolo provide quality educational programs Time: 9:45am to 12:00pm tailored to enhance the child’s devel- The Shield Institute and the TEACCH opmental levels. Evaluations, Special method please call or visit our website. May Workshops Ed classes, Art Education; Music, May 19th Occupational, Speech, Language and Location: 144-61 Roosevelt Ave., Flushing, NY 11354 Physical Therapies, are all accredited St. mary’s Healthcare Understanding the Sensory Issues with Children with ASD/Autism professional departments. Their com- System for Children Presenter: Lindsey Biel mitment is to provide a safe, caring 29-01 216th Street Time: 9:45am to 12:00pm and stimulating environment, with 718-281-8800 or www.stmarykids. If you are interested in attending any of these workshops free of charge respect for each child’s culture, lan- org please contact Laura Villa at 718-939-8700 x1167 (Laura is bilingual Spanish) guage, religion, and learning style. The St. Mary’s Healthcare System for These workshops are made possible by a grant provided by the New York City Council, Department of Health Children is committed to improving the schools and evaluation site are cen- and Mental Hygiene trally located and convenient to mass health and quality of life for children transit and major highways. and families with special needs. St. Mary’s Healthcare System is one of only a handful of organizations around The Shield institute the country that is dedicated to provid- 144-61 Roosevelt Avenue ing intensive rehabilitation, specialized 718-939-8700 ext 1167 or www. care, and education to children with shield.org special needs and life-limiting condi- The Shield Institute is a longtime leader tions. Following hospitalizations in in the field of autism and other devel- acute care facilities for complications Become a fan of opmental disabilities. A non-sectarian from premature birth, illness, and agency established in 1921, it provides injury, or when special services are wide-ranging educational and support needed, children and their families Queens services to children, adults and families come to St. Mary’s to receive care, of all backgrounds throughout New learn to manage their illness or injury, York By working with families and and achieve a better quality of life. As communities, the Institute helps enable the largest provider of long-term home Family children and adults with developmen- healthcare for children in New York tal challenges to lead full, meaningful State and one of the nation’s leading on lives that include a chance to work providers of pediatric post-acute care, and contribute. The Shield seeks to St. Mary’s provides a continuum of transform the way communities and care, treating nearly 4,000 children societies understand, relate to and each day throughout the metropolitan support citizens with developmental area through a network of inpatient, disabilities. By honoring diversity in home care and community programs values, heritages, abilities and inter- and services, setting a standard of ests, the facility helps ensure that excellence in pediatric healthcare. St. people with disabilities enjoy the same Mary’s is a not-for-profit healthcare rights and opportunities as everyone organization.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 19 Personal essay A double whammy By Julianna Gil news, “Your child is on the autism tions: No, he never looks at us when When a de lamadrid spectrum,” what are the chances that we speak to him. No, he does not this family will be given this news express his needs/wants. No, he does second child ately, we are seeing a lot more twice? When exactly does a family not like to play with us or his brother. attention in the media being have to be cautious of having more Yes, he does rock back and forth and L paid to the prevalence of au- children? flap his arms… is diagnosed tism. Those who are not affected My first son was diagnosed with There we were, faced with two by autism may skim through the Pervasive Developmental Disorder - boys, both diagnosed with autism. with autism news, recent findings, and fresh re- Not Otherwise Specified at the age of In as little time as it took for these search that is available to the autism 2. Like many families who are given professionals to observe my boys community, thinking, “What are the this diagnosis, our son went through and come to their conclusions, my chances that I or a loved one will ac- a stage of alarming regression in dreams for them had been taken tually be affected by this?” Sadly, the which his speech, along with his so- from me. answer to this question is given to us cial skills, drastically weakened. What kind of school will they end with every autism ad, commercial, Unlike with other families, my up in? Will they have girlfriends? Be statistic, book, article, etc.: “ONE IN son, at the age of 2, already had a married? Be able to work? Will they 150 CHILDREN,” or “ONE OUT OF 70 baby brother who was 8 months be dependent of me their entire lives? BOYS.” old. Truth be told, my 2-year-old Suddenly, I looked at them differ- So, when a family is given the should have been diagnosed months ently; as though I hardly ever knew prior to his second birth- them to be my own.I didn’t know day. I cannot say my hus- how to speak to them, how to relate band and I were in denial, to their needs. because we did not even Were they even listening to me? know what autism was, or Did they love me? Do they even know that our son truly had a who I am? problem at all. Along with I did my share of research, and comments from friends slowly, I began to accept the fact that and family who constantly I was given these two boys for a rea- said, “well, boys develop son. As I read about other families, slower than girls,” or “just I also began to accept the fact that give him time,” we sim- there was hope for my sons through ply thought he was going the intense early intervention they through a phase, and had were receiving. I went from a dark put off his evaluation for place in which I hardly knew my almost three months. own children to a place where I felt Battling with the idea comfortable knowing I would do ev- that something may in erything in my power to help them fact be wrong with him, develop and become all that I had we completely ignored the hoped they would be on the day they alarming delay his baby were born. brother exhibited. How To this day, three years after my could we have been so sons were diagnosed, I have devoted blind? We had a son who my life to their development and had developed typically the well-being of all who suffer from up until his regression, autism. My boys are strong, each with which to compare our in their own way, and they have en- youngest, and still, we had couraged me to be the same. Today, not addressed the fact that I study not only for their future, but our second born was com- also for the future of all the children pletely in his own world. who are, and will, be part of this At this point, denial had prevalence. I see the changes that set in. There couldn’t pos- intense intervention and — most sibly be two of them in importantly — love, has made on the family … could there? my boys, and it gives me nothing During our youngest son’s but hope for their futures. Every day evaluation, I felt my heart is a battle, but slowly, I am rebuild- drop as I answered the ing those dreams that were once psychotherapist’s ques- knocked down by a diagnosis.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 21 Couples Affair to remember fter there’s been an affair, it’s or she loves, and the betrayed part- What enables the recovery of not unusual for a couple to ner is feeling totally devastated and some of this lost closeness is a new, A come in for counseling — as doesn’t know whether the trust can total openness between the couple. long as there is still love and commit- ever be there again. The betrayer must express remorse; ment between the couple, when pre- As the therapy begins, the partners be willing to answer any questions serving the marriage is important speak of an extreme relief over not about the affair in a non-defensive, and both want to work on recovery. keeping secrets anymore. Because patient way; and must make this con- Amazingly, I have seen that even both people often don’t understand versation available in a calm, caring Our with the pain present — ultimately, it themselves, they exhibit a willing- way. He must verbally recommit to if both want it — an affair can be a ness to figure out how something like the relationship, telling his partner relatiOnships catalyst for a new honesty and close- this happened. What slowly emerges why he still wants to be with her, and Joan EmErson, PhD ness between both people, and an is an awareness of feelings of having he must be prepared to say this not immense opportunity for the rela- unmet needs that were being kept just once, but on an ongoing basis. tionship to grow. How can this be? inside (that perhaps weren’t even at Atonement for this hurt is the betray- a conscious level), allow- er’s responsibility to communicate ing for a vulnerability and forevermore. hopes of getting them filled Finding a way to accept the apol- elsewhere. ogy and begin some sort of forgive- These painful feelings ness process is the task of the vic- can be attributed to a grow- tim. ing emotional isolation In order to move on, the goal must between the partners bebe to commit to honest communi- cause of demands of work, cation about what each person is children, money, or house- going through on a day-to-day basis. keeping — real distancing There has to be an acceptance that issues resulting in feelings there are two subjective realities, of loneliness, and not being and that is a tremendous relief for understood or valued. As both people, because they will be the partners talk about able to express their feelings and these feelings they were feel that they are being heard and keeping secret, even from understood. Both have to be willing themselves, and see that to listen to each other. the other person can lis- With no secrets about feelings, a ten and even be glad to be closeness can develop that enables a learning more about these couple to weather the storms ahead needs, a tremendous grati- and stay connected. Keeping feelings tude and appreciation can to oneself results in turning away, begin to grow. The strayer distancing, and thus, the danger of now has a new awareness giving up and looking elsewhere to I have heard researchers say that that, if he can communicate with his feel truly understood. Having a part- affairs happen in about 30 percent of partner more honestly and deeply, ner who can listen to you talking couples, and they often occur in the he can work toward getting his needs about your feelings — which aren’t first two years of the relationship. met within the relationship. And this easy for you to discuss and that you They have found the affairs don’t new, deeper connection will eliminate know are even a little crazy — cre- usually have to do with sexual sat- future vulnerability to temptations ates trust, and trust has been de- isfaction or because the person was outside of the relationship. scribed as the basic ingredient for going out looking for it, but happen The hard part, of course, is for success in a relationship. because an opportunity presented the victim of the affair to forgive and Affairs are probably the most itself. Affairs can range from using have the courage and willingness to painful thing that can happen in someone else as an emotional con- move on. After all, the victim was a committed relationship, but how- fidante, to sex talk over the phone having the same painful feelings of ever unbelievably, if an affair does or Internet, to actual meetings with disconnection, but didn’t stray from happen, there’s still hope. But both or without sexual consummation. the relationship. partners must be willing to work to Affairs can even happen in good Listening to the affair experts talk, understand what happened and to marriages. it seems to me that the painful feel- learn new ways to help the relation- When a couple comes to therapy ings from betrayal linger for long pe- ship grow. because of an affair, obviously, there riods of time, and the only way these Dr. Joan Emerson is a New York is anguish on both sides: the partner feelings can become more manage- psychologist who specializes in couples who strayed is distraught for having able is if the couple shifts to explor- therapy. Visit her website at www.Joan inflicted such pain on the person he ing lost warmth and connection. Emerson.com.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 23 Parenting Sleepovers The survival guide

By Myrna Beth haskell After hosting several sleepovers for easy-to-clean tile or vinyl flooring, both my son and daughter, I’ve found prepare the floor with some plastic re you thinking of invit- that kids will respond well to rules if splash mats or drop cloths. ing several of your child’s you establish them right away. Hold Keep in mind that your child’s A friends over for a sleepover a “welcome meeting,” in which you friends may not know their way bash, but you are not sure you can tell the guests about all the great ac- around your house very well, es- handle all those exuberant and tire- tivities you have planned. Then, give pecially in the middle of the night. less kids for more than three hours? them a list of rules to follow. Make Place nightlights in bathrooms and It’s OK, sleepovers can be over- sure that they understand these are hallways to make your home easy whelming and exhausting. Let’s face YOUR rules, not your child’s. Tell to navigate when it is dark. It’s a it: they can be a downright night- them if things go well, you have a good idea to stock up on a few extra mare. It will take quite a bit of plan- special activity planned (this can be supplies, too. Make sure you have ning and forethought, but both you a blockbuster movie or a game with toothbrushes, pillows, and socks — AND your child’s friends can have a really cool prizes). in case one of the guests forgets to positive experience if you take the rule 2: Prepare your home and bring them. time to think things through before plan ahead Most parents agree that too much the first excited guest appears at Find a place in your home that free time is a recipe for disaster, so your door. will be suitable for several kids bunk- plan ahead. Make sure you have rule 1: establish the rules from ing out and playing group games. scheduled several controlled activi- the get-go This might be a playroom, or any ties besides dinner, cake and open- Sleepovers are different from large space with sparse furnishings. ing gifts. other parties hosted in your home in Remove any breakable or valuable rule 3: sanity is in the num- that the kids know their own parents items, so you won’t become a ner- bers won’t be picking them up until the vous wreck if a pillow fight ensues. Larger groups of kids tend to get next day. This gives them a “no holds Make sure that the eating area is more unruly. barred” attitude toward the night. properly protected. If you don’t have “I had 12 10-year-old boys for my son’s sleepover a few years ago,” re- calls Mary Kiernan, a mother of five. Kids have advice for kids “I bring a hidden snack.” “This was way too many. They were Evan, age 11, Narragansett, RI wild!” Kiernan suggests that the And for the kids, here’s some tips Most important thing to bring: keeping track of your stuff: maximum number should be about from kids across the country so “Bring money, just in case you “Make a list of what you are eight, including your own child. Most your first sleepover can be perfect: end up going somewhere like the bringing.” parents also agree an even number movies.” works best — to avoid the “odd-man- Ways to be prepared: Lauren, age 10, Hopewell Jct., NY Andrew, age 12, Hyde Park, NY out” scenario. “Make sure you get a good “Always label your things so A good rule of thumb is to invite night’s sleep the night before. You “Yourself! ” you’ll be sure it’s yours.” those children whose families you will be up late!” Spencer, age 11, Indianapolis, IN Emily, age 12, Portland, OR know. Many parents today are leery Trevor, age 12, Salt Point, NY “Bring cute pajamas!” Other: about sending their children to slee- Savannah, age 8, San Diego, CA “Bring your mom and dad’s cell- “Whenever I’m at a sleepover, I pover parties if they don’t know the phone numbers.” What to do if you don’t like the always tell myself to let NOTHING family. In order to avoid inevitable Samantha, age 8, Narragansett, RI food: get in the way of having a fun time. disappointment due to declined in- “Bring your favorite snack “If you don’t like the breakfast, You’re only a kid for so long, and vitations, put a message on the in- and make sure there is plenty to say you and your family have to go sleepovers are supposed to bring vitation such as, “Party continues share!” to your grandparents’ anniversary out the kid in you!” after 8 for those who would like to Dominique, age 7, Richmond, VA brunch.” Nicole, age 10, Cary, NC Morgan, age 14 – Indianapolis, IN sleep over.” This will enable guests to decline the sleepover part, but to

24 QUEENS Family • June 2011 birthday cake, set up bowls of top- Kiernan suggests putting a movie pings for make-your-own-sundaes or in at the very end of the evening once make-your-own-cupcakes. You can the kids have prepared for bed. always put a candle on the birthday “The kids will be ready to relax,” child’s concoction! she claims. Make sure that the movie I made the mistake of not hav- is age-appropriate (when in doubt, ask ing enough drinks at my son’s first for permission from parents before- sleepover. Remember, popcorn and hand). Any type of calming activity chips are laden with salt. The kids will suffice late in the evening — just will be thirsty, so you’ll need to stock make sure you’ve completed all en- up on a variety of drinks that quench deavors that encourage hysterical en- thirst. thusiasm (such as piñatas) early on. Keep breakfast simple. Plan to separate groups of kids if Avoid making omelettes or scram- some seem to want to whisper and bled eggs, which only serve a few at a pass notes via a pen light while others time. Kiernan prefers pancakes and are ready to crash. At my daughter’s French toast to feed a large group. last sleepover, I separated them into “It’s easy to make, easy to keep two groups. The sleepyheads made warm, and you can make a large a beeline for the family room, while quantity for not too much money,” those who wanted to chit-chat re- she says. mained in the playroom. This seemed “I like to serve chocolate chip to quell any impending arguments. pancakes or M & M pancakes,” adds Rule 7: There’s got to be a morn- Castelonia. “The kids love anything ing after! with chocolate!” After a night of ghost stories, Don’t forget to check on food al- giggling and gossiping, your child’s lergies. As a mother of five children, bleary-eyed guests may not be ready Kiernan is all too familiar with al- to “get with the program” the next lergies. She says that it’s imperative morning. Here’s a perfect solution: that you ask parents ahead of time if a contest. Give your child’s guests a their children have food allergies. specified time to get dressed, clean “Always keep cereal on hand in up, and pack their things. Tell them case someone is allergic to eggs,” there will be a surprise treat if they she says. are successful. This may be a good Be prepared for the occasional time to give out goodie bags with a vegetarian, as well. Making sure you little something extra, such as en- have at least one meatless choice is ergy bars or drinks, because they not a difficult task, and it will save you will need the energy! join the festivities and celebrate with Crafts are enjoyable for any gen- the trouble of whipping something up Hopefully, you remembered to list your child early in the evening. der. The best crafts are those that if one of the guests is a budding vege- the pick-up time on the invitations, Rule 4: Activities make or break also serve as party souvenirs: tarian — I’ve had a few at my house! and to remind parents of this time a party • Photo frames (take a digital Quick food tips: when they dropped their children off It’s imperative that you have a list group picture, print and insert in • L e s s fuss is a must the night before. Castelonia suggests of various activities planned. each child’s custom frame). Glue • U s e paperware and paper table- that pick-up time be no later than “You have to plan lots of activi- magnets on back for bulletin boards cloths for easy clean up 11 am. “Most will be leaving to go to ties to wear them out,” says mom • P i l l ow cases, tote bags or T- • Provide a healthy-choice snack, other activities anyway,” she says. Christina Castelonia. However, for shirts — use fabric markers or paint such as carrots and dip Finally, when the last guest has indoor activities, she suggests any- to decorate (don’t forget the party • D o n’ t serve caffeinated items stepped out the door, grab yourself thing that will keep the kids calm. date and signatures of all those who close to bedtime (i.e. cola or choco- a cup of herbal tea and head for “For girls, painting nails and doing attended) late) the couch. This respite will be well hair always works,” she says. • Bookmarks or book bag chains Rule 6: Yes Virginia, there is a deserved! If you are having a sleepover for that celebrate the theme of the bedtime! For theme ideas, creative activities boys and you are worried about them party Uh-oh … it’s bedtime! Even for and other tips, check out these books: spending too much time in front of Rule 5: Fun food, happy campers the most organized party host or “Slumber Parties,” by Penny Warner the computer or video games, sched- You will probably be serving din- hostess, getting the kids to bed at a (Meadowbrook Press) ule some group activities. ner, snacks and breakfast, so the “respectable” hour can prove to be “52 Slumber Party Activities,” by Lynn Boys enjoy team activities, so or- food will play an important role in an insurmountable task. Castelonia Gordon (Chronicle Books, LLC) ganize a mystery game or sports making the party successful. remarks that although sleepovers “Slumber Parties,” by Brooks Whit- trivia game and break the kids up Mixing food and fun is always a can be some of the most talked ney (American Girl Library: Pleasant into teams. Kiernan also advocates hit. about celebrations, you have to have Company Publications) planning group activities. “I always do pizza,” says Kiernan. reasonable expectations about how Or, visit http://www.birthdayparty- “Charades and bingo are always a “I had the kids make their own indi- things will go. ideas.com/html/sleep_over.html for a hit,” she says. “Make sure you have vidual pizza at one of the parties and “That’s the price you pay. The list and detailed description of award- an alternative planned in case one or that made a great activity, too. The kids will be up late and cranky the winning sleepover parties for both boys two don’t want to play the game.” kids loved it!” In lieu of traditional next morning,” she warns. and girls. June 2011 • QUEENS Family 25 Education Test-taking jitters By TuTor DocTor there while he takes the test, you are studygs.net, offers fruit and vegeta- Seven ways there in spirit. It is a simple gesture bles as a recommended option to re- est-taking can be stressful for that goes a long way toward com- duce stress. Avoid processed foods, students can both students and parents. forting your child. artificial sweeteners and foods con- T Most people are familiar with You can pack the kit in a colorful taining preservatives, as they are the butterflies that flutter up inside bag or box and even label it with the considered “stressful foods.” ease nerves your stomach before taking a test. student’s name. Inside the kit, place a • A physically fit is more likely to While it is normal for most students notebook (moleskin notebooks work be a good student: According to Les- and improve to experience some level of jitters great), a healthy snack (something ley Cottrell, an associate professor before and during an exam, it has small and tasty such as an apple), of pediatrics at West Virginia Uni- proven to become a real problem and a little bottle of aromatherapy versity, children’s physical fitness is test scores for others, affecting their scores so oil (I recommend lavender). associated with their academic per- much that the tests can’t be an indi- The notebook will help your child formances. Students who stay physi- work through his anxi- cally fit during the week generally ety. There are two ways experience better test scores. in which he can do this: • Getting enough sleep makes the • Wr i te down anxiet- mind work better: Many students ies before a test: A recent struggle to get adequate sleep at study in the journal Sci- night, but it is important that they ence explains that stu- try to get between seven and nine dents can greatly benefit hours. from writing down their “Sleep keeps students well- anxieties before tak- rested. It gives them a good atten- ing an exam. The study tion span, along with a more stable suggests that releasing mood, which increases concentra- anxieties onto paper will tion,” says psychologist John Mark- clear students’ minds ovich. Getting enough sleep at night during a test and help will help students focus while taking them to focus. tests. • C o u n te r apprehen- The aromatherapy bottle is to sions by writing down help your child activate his memory positive responses: In a and approach the test from a calmer guide to reduce dread perspective. before taking tests, It has been proven that essential Claire Stone, a Berkeley oils, such as lavender and rosemary, therapist, explains that can stimulate the brain and improve it is beneficial to write concentration and learning abili- positive responses to ties. Students can benefit by lighting the negative anxieties or a lavender candle while studying, thoughts that students which can help them retain informa- just wrote. This will en- tion before the test. sure that all the nega- Even if a child has the first-aid tives will be cleared from kit, he still needs to be prepared — students’ minds while and reparation for tests should be taking a test. a group effort. A student’s parents, The healthy snack is teachers and tutors should all work cation of the student’s ability. in the kit to remind your child not to together to set the student up for There are many techniques that take his test on an empty stomach. success. students can use to improve concen- There are a few reasons for this: Studying with a friend, when tration and ease their nerves, and • T h e r e is a correlation between possible, can help students better there are many ways in which you positive test scores and a healthy understand the material and learn can help them. diet: Students should be sure not from one another. The morning of the test, surprise to take an exam on an empty stom- Hopefully, these tips will get you your child with his own anxiety- ach, and should make sure that and your child on the path to better busting first-aid test kit. This is a they are eating the right foods. Joe results in test-taking. perfect way to start the day and Landsberger, creator of the Study For more helpful tips, visit www. show him that although you can’t be Guides and Strategies website, www. hometutorsnyc.com.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 27 Parenting Lazy days of summer

icture ther: Your teen is resume,” says Carole Jabbawy, Ed.D, mum, a required placement test, or sprawled out on the couch founder and director of Internship documents their high schools needs P with a bag of Doritos in hand Connection in Newton, MA. “Teens to submit before applying. watching MTV. What’s wrong with gain career exposure, which will be ther picture? Do you envision your- very helpful in sorting out a college Volunteer! self being frustrated by your teen’s major.” Volunteers are rarely turned away laziness all summer long? Teens who plan to seek employ- — especially in a down economy. Relaxation after a stressful and ment right after high school will also Plus, teens can feel good about mak- Lions and frenzied school year is probably benefit from field experiences like: ing a difference. much needed; but, after a few days of • Resume building “It’s wonderfully satisfying to vol- tigers and rest, your teen should start thinking • Exploration of interests unteer for an organization that you about taking advantage of her free • Making “connections” in a spe- care about,” agrees Jabbawy. teens time and expanding her horizons. cific industry Teens should search for positions Myrna Beth haskell Jobs are scarce these days, and • Setting oneself apart from the that will help guide them toward many internship opportunities are crowd their long-term goals. For example, filled in late winter. However, it’s not aspiring veterinarians should find a too late for your teen to plan a con- Opportunity knocks position at an animal shelter. structive summer. Small businesses, hospitals, “An internship or volunteer expe- churches, and nursing homes are al- rience begins the process of creating Do ‘something’ ways looking for extra help, and usu- a professional network and can lead Teenagers who volunteer, work, ally welcome teen applicants. For last- to a paid position,” says Jabbawy. or taking classes, get noticed by gminute opportunities, it’s best for college admissions officers — and teens to canvas their neighborhoods entrepreneurship future employers. and ask about positions in person. It’s never too late to start your “An internship or volunteer expe- “While June may be too late for own business! Possible entrepre- rience is the first step to building a some internships, non-profits are neurial ventures include lawn mow- still quite busy in June and July,” ing, house painting, caring for pets says Jabbawy. “Late spring is a busy while people are on vacation, fixing time for fundraising events and extra neighbors’ computers, or cooking hands are always welcome.” for the elderly. Teens can distribute Finding a paying job for the sum- fliers around their neighborhoods to mer at this late date might be difficult; get the word out. Still stumped for however, motivated teens can still ideas? Try these websites: find openings. Full-time employees www.dosomething.org often have vacation plans, so part- www.volunteermatch.org time positions become available. “Business owners tell me that they tips and tales don’t have enough time in the day “Senior citizen centers are always to keep up with social networking,” looking for teens to volunteer to help Jabbawy explains. “They would love serve lunch meals and clean up.” a teen to work on a project promot- Tracy Critelli-MacQueen, Glen Oaks, NY ing their business through Facebook, “Our church has a vacation bible blogging or Twitter.” school and we’re always looking for And summer colleges classes are teen members to help, even if it’s always an option. last minute.” “Universities will allow prospec- Beth Ackerman, Staatsburg, NY tive students to enroll in summer courses right up until the first day Share your ideas of class,” explains Jim Sirianni, PhD, Upcoming topic: Your teen didn’t assistant dean and director of sum- make varsity – alternatives to keep mer college at Stanford University. him playing? “Students should check with multiple Please send your full name, ad- institutions in their area to see when dress, and brief comments to myr- summer classes begin.” [email protected], or visit www. Many colleges offer competitive myrnahaskell.com. scholars programs, academic camps Myrna Beth Haskell is a feature writer or traditional classes that high and columnist specializing in parent- school students can take in the sum- ing issues and child and adolescent mer. It’s imperative that students development. She is the mother of two check to see if there is an age mini- teenagers.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 29 Parenting Should the family dog share the bed?

Parents helPing Parents Sharon C. PeterS, Ma

Dear Sharon, Our 5-year-old son sleeps with our dog every night (a loving and tender Irish setter). We’re concerned that he is too dependent on him for company and will not be able to sleep alone in the coming years. What do you think?

Dear parents, sleep alone — even though there are Most children develop an interest When I first saw your question, I many reasons it might be best for in their own physical space and per- happened to be with a 22-year-old him to do so. sonal autonomy, especially as they friend of mine who loves animals, Many parents to whom I speak get close to adolescence. As children particularly dogs. Her reaction to have to sort through if, how, and grow in size and emotional under- your concern was, “I have a 25-year- when to have their children sleep by standing, a pet — such as an Irish old friend who sleeps with his dog. themselves when there is resistance setter — who climbs into bed every He loves his dog. It’s great to love to doing so. Oftentimes, music, soft night can start to take up too much your dog.” I generally agree that it blankets, favorite stuffed animals, physical space or be “troublesome” is wonderful for children and adults or siblings become sleepmates to fill in other ways. to love their pets. I, too, know many the void and help with the transition Parents of a child of any age should people who sleep with their animals to sleeping alone. It is also common probably be concerned if their son and enjoy doing so. that pets help provide company to or daughter is relying on a pet for It is also true that many people, a “lonely” child and help him sleep extensive companionship during the children and adults, would rather not through the night with some much day, when ongoing relationships with sleep by themselves. I have rarely appreciated company. friends and adults should be primary met a young person who chooses to It is difficult for parents to remem- to a young one’s social life and overall ber that children develop in stages. development. Sharon C. Peters is a mother and director of Parents helping Parents, The interests and levels of indepen- If a child’s connections with their 669 President St., Brooklyn (718) 638-9444, www.PhPonline.org. dence of a 5-, 10- and 15-year-old parents and other children are going If you have a question about a challenge in your life (no issue is too big child are very different. As little ones well, then I believe that sleeping with or too small) e-mail it to Dear Sharon at [email protected]. get older, their needs at night (and his beloved dog at night is probably during the day) change a great deal. fine.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 31 pets Best friends By Risa C. DoheRty pet to your family, there are several time. To set the tone, the dog should What to factors to consider. always enter the house after the uring my junior year of col- humans. know before lege, my roommate brought practice D home a kitten, which I If you’re considering a new pet, Responsibility named Tess, after the title character acclimate your children to the idea Having a pet is a big responsibility, adopting that of the 1979 Roman Polanski movie. of being around and caring for an- and, as such, the duties should be Although I never had a pet before, I imals. Dr. Susan Bartell, a family carried out by the whole family. Ex- attempted to adapt to the new little psychologist, suggests pet sitting pecting a child to shoulder the entire fluffy bundle creature cohabiting with me — mov- for a friend before introducing your burden of pet ownership is unfair and ing swiftly across my furniture, set- new addition into your home. I also unreasonable, warns Bartell. of joy tling on top of any open book I was suggest encouraging your children “Kids are just not responsible reading, and shredding entire rolls of to volunteer at a local pet shelter. enough, [however] well-intentioned,” paper towels when she felt she had (But first, check to see if your chil- agrees Hirschegger. been left home alone for too long. dren meet the age requirement, and Still, with some guidance, chil- After two months, my roommate make sure you are comfortable with dren who are allowed to care for decided that Tess was not worth the extent of the commitment re- pets are given an early opportunity half the cost of her food and kitty lit- quired.) to contribute to the family. ter and wanted to get rid of her. Beware, though, that even in fami- But it was too late for me. I al- set guidelines lies in which parents are diligent ready loved her. So I kept the kitten Each breed or type of pet will about children regularly helping to — and dumped the roommate. need to be handled in a certain way. care for a pet, kids’ time is much Later, I married a dog person. Since our dachshund was small and more limited by the time they reach Years after Tess was gone, and our needed to be lifted and carried in middle school. Their free time is nuclear family seemed complete, he a particular manner, we taught our quickly consumed with homework, suggested we get a dog, like his children to handle him carefully. sports, and after-school activities. family had done when he was grow- Children also have to be taught that ing up. I was not about to become certain foods, like chocolate, can be Costs mother to a canine that was large dangerous to dogs. Different breeds Caring for a dog or cat can become enough for a toddler to ride on will have various temperaments and expensive. In addition to the cost of (complete with doggie smell), but needs, so it will involve some re- food, kitty litter, or dog licensing when my then 6-year-old daughter search in advance. fees, there are bills for ongoing vet- asked for a dog that would “stay erinary care, and the possibility of a puppy,” my husband and I com- training great expense if the animal becomes promised, and we got a miniature It seems simple and straightfor- ill. Worm, flea, and other medica- dachshund. ward, but it is not. I recommend that tions will also need to be purchased Milton has always been a families unfamiliar with dog han- and administered. source of unbridled joy for dling be sure to learn how to best Keep in mind that most animals our family. He has a special manage a new dog, whether by hir- need to be groomed and bathed, relationship with my children ing a private trainer, reading books, whether that involves buying your — who literally grew up with or researching online. We hired a own supplies to routinely upkeep him, and my daughter has al- dog trainer to help us understand your pet, or paying a professional ways referred to him as her how to manage Milton. groomer to do the job. Teeth and “younger brother.” Dogs are pack animals, so when nails also need to be maintained. Plus, Despite some initial trepi- they are first brought into a new dogs need to be boarded when a fam- dation, I was in favor of intro- home, they need to understand their ily goes on vacation. If you are lucky ducing the furry bundle of joy position in the family hierarchy. enough to have a friend who will take into our family. I understood They need to know that they are care of your dog for free, you can that bringing home a pet was not higher in importance than even avoid the boarding fee, which can not exactly like bringing home their smallest human counterpart, run from $20 per day in a local kennel a cuddly stuffed animal. because if this order is not estab- to $30 per day for the neighborhood Veterinarian Ann Hirscheg- lished, a seemingly sweet and tame dogsitter, to $80 per night for the suite ger equates adopting a pet dog could nip a child. in Barkingham Palace in Port Wash- with adding “an additional Milton’s trainer also warned ington. Boarding, for dogs with medi- Milton, the author’s miniature child, especially [if you bring against allowing a dog to walk his cal issues, starts at $180 per night. An- dauch shund, is now an important home] a puppy.” owner. I see dogs leading their own- other option is to stay at a pet-friendly member of the family. So, if you’re considering adding a ers around my neighborhood all the hotel, but there can be extra fees and 32 QUEENS Family • June 2011 some pets do not travel well. Cats¬ — and some breeds of dogs — are a little less work when it comes to grooming, as they are mostly self- cleaning, much like Milton and my kitchen oven. However, even with the expense and responsibility, most pet owners will tell you the experience is worth it and that their pet is a family member. Pets and kids Having a pet can be a great experience for children. A pet can provide an only child with additional companionship, or, as in my family, can provide a child with someone younger to boss around. Pets also help children grow emotionally. For example, a child learns tenderness when she cares for a small pet, says Dr. Nina Malik, a veterinarian. She says a child also learns about experiencing the different stages of life through her pet, as the animals often join families as kittens or puppies, and share their middle and golden years with the same family. “Children learn how to attach, how to love, and to lose,” Malik explained to me. This could prepare the child for later in life, when she may have to cope with the loss of a family member, or a friend who moves away. Also, a 2002 article in the Journal of American Medicine referenced a study that showed babies who live in a home with two or more pets may be less likely to develop allergies to pets. There is, of course, always the possibility of sibling rivalry. A child Masson. In his book,” he captures is too great, much like my college can get jealous when her parents the indescribable sense of elation a roommate. Bartell points out that a need to devote time to caring for an Expecting a child dog exhibits whenever his favorite child may get attached to a pet more animal, or, more often, a pet could to shoulder the human appears. quickly than an adult, and if parents have a hard time adjusting to the in- Despite their stubborn indepen- hastily rush to adopt and then change troduction of a new baby. entire burden of pet dent streak, I believe cats experience their minds, the child may experience love, too. They may be more subtle, a rollercoaster of emotions. Unconditional love? ownership is unfair but they also let their owners know I am in no way trying to discour- Many people believe that pets can when they are ready for company. age you from adopting a cute, furry offer their owners unconditional love. and unreasonable. A child’s dog can undoubtedly be- friend for your tyke; but I am recom- In his book, “Dogs Never Lie About have like president of her fan club. mending that you go in with your Love,” psychoanalyst Jeffrey Mous- Who wouldn’t want a creature that is eyes open. Pets are accepting of saieff Masson adamantly asserts that dogs merely have a natural loyalty always available and appears to think their owners, warts and all, and this dogs indeed feel love. Stanley Coren to their pack members for survival. you are the greatest all the time? can be reassuring, even to a socially takes a somewhat different approach “[Dogs] are loyal to those they sur- • • • well-adjusted kid. in his book, “How Dogs Think,” advo- vive alongside,” explained Fennell. When you decide to make an ad- To help select the right pet for your cating what he calls “classical con- “This shouldn’t be interpreted as dition to your family, make sure that family visit petfinder.com. ditioning,” by way of hand-feeding a devotion.” this is truly what you want. It can For more information on children dog to teach him love. While some veterinarians deny be difficult for a child if her parents and pets, visit www.aspca.org/pet-care/ Jan Fennell, author of “The Dog that dogs can experience such a adopt a pet, and then decide to give kids-and-pets and www.petco.com/ Listener,” assured me via e-mail that human emotion, I tend to side with the pet away because the expense caresheets/dog/Dog_ChildSafety.pdf.

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 33 Careers She’s having it all

ompreneur” Eva As Paris, she attended Mompreneur mar has created an the Sorbonne Univer “M opportunity for her sity and completed manages self to balance the two most impor a Masters at ESSEC tant parts of her life: running her Business School. It own business and spending plenty was while in the City beauty biz of time with her family. of Lights that Asmar Asmar has combined the experi took an interest in and family ence she earned in the beauty biz cosmetics, and soon, — as global product manager of established herself L’Oreal and The Body Shop — with as a cosmetics indus her passion for women’s rights and try leader, with high the environment, to create her own ranking positions at line of beauty products for moms Yves Rocher, L’Oreal, and babies. and later, The Body She conceived the line, called Bi Shop. onee OrganicCertified Maternity As her work ex Skin Care, when she and her hus perience grew, so band, Georges, were living in Phila did her ideas for delphia, and he was attending women’s products. business school. Preg During her time nant with their at The Body Shop, first child, she quit her commitment to her position safety and women’s at The Body rights strengthened, Shop to pursue Eva Asmar with her son Gabriel. as well. She felt that her dream. No (At left) Her Bionee cosmetics line. products should one knows have safe, natural in the effects eled to France gredients and support fair trade. pregnancy to find ingredi Now, her brand has been organi can have on a ents, create and callycertified and received numer woman’s skin test formulas, ous safety and quality certifications and hair quite and network with from top organizations in Europe, like — well — cosmetic indus Australia and the U.S. a pregnant try professionals. Asmar set out to make sure that woman, and Asmar quickly realized When her son, Gabriel, was born, so women have access to effective, safe, how important it was to have prod was her beauty line. natural, and green beauty products ucts that could safely cater to moth As important as work is to Asmar, for themselves and for their babies. ers both during and after pregnancy, her family is even more so. That’s Now, she encourages other women as well as to their babies. why she made sure that she can run to create their own employment “I felt that there was not enough her line from her home on Manhat model that gives them the life they out there and not enough good tan’s Upper West Side, where she want. quality products that were offered can care for her son and work on “We really want to encourage for women expecting children, and expanding her business. women and young moms,” she says. for the children as well,” explains “It was, and still is, and will be, “No one should have to give up one Asmar. very important for me to be inde or the other. You have to give your She knew that above all else, her pendent and be my own boss, and self what’s important to you.” products had to be effective, safe, choose the time I want to give to my As a result of her labors, her line natural, and green. child and to my job,” explains Asmar. has developed eight Bionee prod “During my pregnancy, I learned “I can go to the park with him and ucts, with 11 more on the horizon a lot about safety,” she says. “Every then work when he sleeps. I do work — and Asmar has a new baby on the thing you put on your skin gets into late, but I have flexibility, which is re way, too! She set out to make sure your bloodstream, and you have to ally, really important.” that no matter how well her business be careful about what you use, es Born in Poland, Asmar has lived did, she stayed a dedicated mom. pecially during pregnancy and for all over the world, including Ger Mission accomplished. newborns.” many, France, the United Kingdom, For more information and to buy Asmar and her husband trav and the United States. While living in products, visit www.bionee.com. 34 QUEENS Family • June 2011 astoria sports complex PRESENTS PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 35 HealtH The danger zone By Reuel S. AmduR facial characteristics. Fetal Alcohol with the spectrum, according to Dr. Alcohol and Spectrum Disorder covers a broader Russell Kirby, professor and Marrell ho is advocating for chil- range, including people with some, endowed chair in the Department of pregnancy dren affected by Fetal Al- but not all, of the markers of the Community and Family Health at the W cohol Spectrum Disorder, spectrum. The disorder is perhaps University of South Florida in Tampa, a condition that is perhaps the most the most common birth defect, and FL. Misdiagnosis is common, espe- don’t mix common birth defect, but one that some 10 to 12 percent of all children cially for minority children, as doc- also could be easily prevented? Most are affected to the extent that they tors are often likely to not recognize often, it is the adoptive parents of require special education, accord- the facial characteristics correctly children with the disorder, and they ing to Bruce Ritchie, moderator of because of lack of sufficient experi- are tirelessly working for not only Faslink Fetal Alcohol Disorders Soci- ence with such children, especially better education about the condi- ety based in Bright’s Grove, Ontario, native Indians. tion, but better rights for those chil- Canada. “Many people don’t recognize that dren and adults affected as well. The disorder can involve birth their children have the problem,” Fetal Alcohol Spectrum, caused defects of many organs, such as the says Johnna Breland, a Decatur, AL, by a woman drinking alcohol while heart, fingers and toes, kidneys, and woman who, with her husband, has pregnant, is identified by the pres- a cleft palate, among others. About adopted a number of disabled chil- ence of three factors: growth prob- a quarter of the children affected by dren, including some with Fetal Al- lems, brain damage, and certain Fetal Alcohol Spectrum are mentally cohol Spectrum Disorder. deficient, and while most children Failure to identify and treat Fetal with the disorder have intelligence Alcohol Spectrum Disorder early in the normal range, the condition and appropriately can mean that is the number one cause of mental the person may be permanently lost. deficiency. While some may require lifelong sup- They are also likely to have poor port of one sort or another, many judgement, including poor moral can become functioning members of judgement, poor memory, and diffi- society in appropriately supervised culty managing money and time. As settings. However, if they do not a result, they are easily led astray, get help early, they risk a lifetime and many get in trouble with the of legal and personal difficulties. In- law. Psychological difficulties they carceration and homelessness are face include depression, panic at- common. tacks, schizophrenia and Attention The good news is that Fetal Alco- Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Many hol Spectrum Disorder is 100 percent students with these conditions are preventable. Put simply: pregnant suspended or expelled from school women should not drink alcohol. because of their behavior caused by “Alcohol exposure in the first these conditions. three months is more apt to have Education for children with Fetal effects on the embryo,” says Kirby. Alcohol Spectrum Disorder needs “Most basic structures of the body to take into account some common are basically formed in the first 10 to difficulties they have: difficulty in 12 weeks of pregnancy.” transforming words into actions; dif- Even mild alcohol use at any ficulty in generalizing, and hence, stage in the pregnancy may be risky. a tendency to repeat mistakes; dif- Drinking later in pregnancy could ficulty organizing one’s time; easy have other serious effects, such as over-stimulation; misreading cues smaller size at birth and greater risk from other people, and consequent of mental deficiency. difficulties in relating to them. Un- If your child, biological or ad- fortunately, schools often lack the opted, has Fetal Alcohol Spectrum skilled teachers and other personnel Disorder, you may want to join with to meet these children’s needs. other parents in advocating for bet- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum cannot ter screening, appropriate special be diagnosed at birth, but rather education, and better public educa- only when the infant or child fails tion. to meet certain milestones, or ex- Reuel Amdur is a social worker and hibits certain behaviors associated freelancer living in Quebec, Canada.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 37 Parenting At what age can a child be left alone? dear Twins, to my husband’s job transfer, and we My boyfriend, “Dan,” has a 7-year- have a new, 3-month-old baby. I’m a old daughter. I agreed to watch her stay-at-home mom and very happy, twice the recently. There is a gym on the third and we have wonderful neighbors. floor of our apartment complex, However, one neighbor keeps asking advice which I decided to go to for about a me to watch her 1-year-old for “just Jacqueline and half hour. I made sure his daughter a few minutes” while she runs to the Kerry donelli was all set in the apartment on the store to get some formula, etc. These couch with her computer. In any “few minutes” stretched into hours, case, Dan’s ex-wife called while I then into half days, and finally into was gone and found out her daugh- whole days. What should I say to ter was there by herself, and all hell her? She is really taking advantage broke loose. Now, he’s furious at me of me! because she is fighting for full cus- Jacqueline says: Yes, she is tak- tody and accusing Dan of being unfit ing advantage of you. The question to have a child! If I am in the building, is: why are you letting her? The next is it OK to leave a child in the apart- time she asks you to watch her kid, ment? Or did I make a disaster?! simply say “no.” If she asks why, tell Kerry says: I think the mother is boys at school. Fortunately, one of her it is because she is taking advan- overreacting, but nonetheless, you the teachers took notice and reported tage of you. still shouldn’t have left the child out of it to the principal, and the boys were Kerry says: Tell her you are un- your sight, even in the same building. expelled for a period of time. Unfor- able to watch her child as you are so A half hour is plenty of time to do dam- tunately, the same two boys hang busy, you barely can keep an eye on age — she could have let in a stranger, out at the school after classes and your OWN. Leave it at that. I’ve said started a fire, or hurt herself. Allow her in our neighborhood, and continue it before, and I’ll say it again: no one to bring her computer games and toys to taunt our son — and now it’s get- can take advantage of you unless to the gym with you next time. ting worse. Should my husband go to you let them. Jacqueline says: In any custody their homes to speak to their parents, . . . proceeding, the most important pri- should we report it to the school, or dear Twins, ority is the welfare of the child. Dan’s should he attempt to speak to those My 12-year-old daughter is very ex-wife is using her own personal boys? Those boys don’t respect au- bright and gets excellent grades agenda to attempt to get custody thority at any age. Our son is terrified in school (no brag, just fact). How- of the child. I’m assuming Dan has to leave the house. We’re considering ever, she tells me that the boy who not done this type of thing before — moving over this! sits next to her is constantly cheat- and now she’s blaming him for your Jacqueline says: Of course your ing and copying her answers on mistake. Nonetheless, this one-time husband should speak to the parents tests that are given in class. She incident is not going to be enough to of the bullies. (And you could do the says she tries to hide her paper, give the ex full custody. She has to same, by the way.) Furthermore, you but somehow he manages to see demonstrate that her ex-husband is should report it to the school and most of the answers, and receives a disaster. To answer your question, the police. What are you waiting for a much higher grade than he de- many state agencies have published — your son to get hurt? Bullying is serves. She’s afraid to report him, guidelines as to what age is appropri- a serious issue. Do everything you because she says he’s a “real tough ate for a child to be left alone; most can to prevent this from getting any kid.” What should she (or I) do? recommend 12 years of age. worse. Your son’s well-being is de- Jacqueline says: Call the teacher . . . pendent on your next actions. and explain exactly what you said dear Twins, Kerry says: I totally agree. You to us. Be clear that your daughter is Our 13-year-old son is a little and your husband should report it to afraid of him. I’m sure the teacher chubby, and is being bullied by two the parents AND the principal. Tell will take appropriate measures. them that if these boys don’t stop Kerry says: I disagree — no need bullying your son, you will take it to to start a war. Instead, have her tell Jacqueline and Kerry donelli, twin sisters, are multiple award winning the furthest extent of the law. Bully- the teacher that she would rather filmmakers. They are currently getting their Masters in Mental Health and ing is a serious issue. not say names, but she suspects have a radio show on WBcr-aM also called, “Twice the advice” — where one twin gives advice and, often, the other completely disagrees! Please . . . a fellow student is cheating and e-mail them at [email protected]. dear Twins, would like to move her seat during We just moved to a new city due testing.

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June 2011 • QUEENS Family 39 It figures By Cynthia Washam DaD’s Data

Percent of dads who say Percent of people who 84:moms are treated better 39: consider Ben Stiller the best on Mother’s Day than dads are on celebrity dad. Father’s Day. Percent who consider Brad 25: Pitt their favorite.

Percent of an more than 30: average man’s 312 million: sperm that’s normal and healthy. Number of hits from Googling “mother.” Less than 10: Percent of normal, healthy sperm in 270 million: triathlete males, presumably from miles Number from Googling “father.” spent on a bike saddle in tight shorts. travel trivia Percent who consider family 67: vacation a time for “fun, action and adventure.”

Percent who consider it a time 18: for “rest and relaxation.”

Percent of parents who say 39: they would take their children out of school for a family vacation.

Percent who say they would 11: never do that.

Percent of parents who say 43:their kids are very involved in planning family vacations.

Percent who say the adults 11: decide when and where to go.

Sources: PRweb.com, Parentdish.com, babytalk, Mayoclinic.com, Urology Times, DisneyFamily.com, Familyvacationcritic.com

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42 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Going Places

Long-running Big Apple Circus: Cunningham Park, Submit a listing 73rd Avenue and Francis Lewis Boule- Going Places is dedicated to vard; (800) 922-3772; bigapplecircus. bringing our readers the most org; Saturdays – Mondays, 10 am–6 comprehensive events calendar pm, Tuesdays – Fridays, 10 am–8 pm, in your area. But to do so, we Now – Sun, June 5; $15. need your help! All you have to do is send Acrobatics, juggling, aerialists and your listing request to calendar@ more. cnglocal.com — and we’ll take Dinosaur display: American Mu- care of the rest. Please e-mail seum of Natural History, Central Park requests more than three weeks West at 79th Street; (212) 769-5000; prior to the event to ensure we www.amnh.org; Daily, 10 am–5:30 pm, have enough time to get it in. $24 ($18 students, $14 children). And best of all, it’s FREE! Children learn about the largest dinos, the long-tailed sauropods, by examining the innovative model. Hillcrest, 187-05 Union Turnpike; (718) 454-2786; www.queenspbubliclibrary. Penguin encounter: Atlantis Marine org; Tuesdays, 4 pm, Now – Tues, June World Aquarium, 431 East Main St.; 21; Free. (631) 208-9200; [email protected]; Play games, do crafts, listen to music www.atlantismarineworld.com; Daily, and hang with friends. 11 am, 1:30 and 3:30 pm; $50 ($45 members) plus museum admission. Chinese language: Laurelton Pub- A 45-minute, interactive program al- Science of circuses lic Library, 134-26 225th St. at Mer- lowing visitors to get up close and per- rick Boulevard; (718) 528-2822; www. sonal with an African Penguin. lowning around at the cir- bone up on legendary circus an- queenslibrary.org; Wednesdays, 10:30 cus is about to get even imals, including Gargantua the am, Wed, June 1 – Wed, July 27; Free. Yoga: Central Queens YM & YWHA, more engaging. Great and Jumbo the Elephant. Classes for beginners. 67-09 108th St.; (718) 268-5011; www. C The New York Hall of Science With this exhibition, your kids cqyjcc.org; Fridays, 1–1:45 pm, Now – Laptop homework time: Laurelton explores life under the big top don’t have to run away to the cir- Fri, June 17; $145 ($180 non-members). Public Library, 134-26 225th St. at Mer- all summer long, with an interac- cus to learn all about it! New moms get back into shape. rick Boulevard; (718) 528-2822; www. tive exhibition devoted to the sci- “Circus! Science Under the Big queenslibrary.org; Weekdays, 3 pm, Teen happy hour: Flushing Public ence of aerial acrobatics, human Top” at the New York Hall of Science Wed, June 1 – Thurs, June 30; Free. Library, 41-17 Main St. at Parsons Bou- cannonballs, sword swallowers, [47-01 111th St. at 44th Avenue in Co- Teens are able to use laptops for their levard; (718) 661-1200; www.queensli- and more. Museum-goers can rona, (718) 699-0005], June 11-Sept. research. brary.org; Fridays, 3 pm, Now – Fri, July test their skills on the tightrope, 4. Tickets $11, $8 for children 2-17, $8 29; Free. Reading buddies: Auburndale Pub- perform tricks and somersaults for students and senior citizens. For lic Library, 24-55 Francis Lewis Blvd. Friends, board games, video games at 24th Road; (718) 352-2027; www. and music. in the air, learn circus lingo, and info, visit www.nysci.org. queenslibrary.org; Tuesdays – Fridays, 4 BOOST: Arverne Public Library, 312 pm, Wed, June 1 – Fri, June 24; Free. Beach 54th St. at Rockaway Beach Bou- Tutoring: Queens Library at Bayside, days, 4 pm, Now – Mon, June 13; Free. Children in grades kindergarten levard; (718) 634-4784; www.queen- 2124-20 Northern Blvd.; (718) 229- Helen Bodner helps beginners through through second practice skills with teen slibrary.org; Weekdays, 3 pm, Now – 1834; www.queenslibrary.org; Mon- expert with their projects. volunteers. Thurs, June 30; Free. days, 3:30–5 pm, Saturdays, 10 am– Youth counselors and staff help with noon, Now – Sat, June 25; Free. Teen chess club: Queens Library at Wed, June 1 homework help. Teen volunteers offer homework help. Bayside, 214-20 Northern Blvd.; (718) 229-1834; www.queenspbubliclibrary. Introduction to computers: Roch- Drama club: Central Library, 89-11 Arts and crafts: Lakeshore Learn- org; Mondays, 6 pm, Now – Mon, June dale Village Public Library, 169-09 137th Merrick Blvd.; (718) 990-0700; www. ing Store, 2079 Hillside Ave. at Marcus 20; Free. Ave. at 137th Street; (718) 723-4440; queenslibrary.org; Fridays, 4 pm, Now – Avenue; (516) 616-9360; mgermain@ Volunteer instructors teach beginners. www.queenslibrary.org; 11 am; Free. Fri, June 10; Free. lakehsorelearning.com; www.lakeshore- Basic skills and job readiness training. The 10-week program is designed for learning.com; Saturdays, 11 am – 3 pm, Storytime: Barnes & Noble, 176-60 teens who want to learn about theater Free. Union Tpk at Utopia Parkway; (718) Explorers Club: Rubin Museum of Art, 150 West 17th St., between Sixth and performance. Children ages 3 and up create fun 380-7077; www.barnesandnoble.com; and Seventh avenues in Manhattan; projects. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10 am & 7 pm, Math help: Flushing Public Library, 41- Now – Thurs, June 30; Free. (212) 620-5000 X 344; www.rmanyc. 17 Main St. at Parsons Boulevard; (718) org; 11 am–noon; $10 per child/adult Knitting and Crochet: Douglaston/ Children enjoy stories and a cookie 661-1200; www.queenslibrary.org; Sat- Little Neck Public Library, 249-01 North- pair ($5 for members; $5 for each ad- break. urdays, 10 am, Now – Fri, June 24; Free. ern Blvd. at 249th Street; (718) 225- ditional child). Tutoring for children in grades 4 to 8. 8414; www.queenslibrary.org; Mon- Teen Tuesdays: Queens Library at Continued on page 44 June 2011 • QUEENS Family 43 Going Places

Continued from page 43 All ages welcome. Follow clues to hid- Children, ages 3 to 5, learn about den treasures. everything from the tallest mountains to the deepest seas. Pre-registration Mon, June 6 required. Introduction to computers: 11 Storytelling: Laurelton Public Library, am. Rochdale Village Public Library. See 134-26 225th St. at Merrick Boulevard; Wednesday, June 1. (718) 528-2822; www.queenslibrary. org; 3 pm; Free. Skype chat: Queens Village Public Teens 11 to 14 learn how to tell a tale. Library, 94-11 217 St. at 94th Avenue; Pre-registration required. (718) 776-6800; www.queenslibrary. org; 2 pm; Free. Family story tours: Rubin Museum Must be registered with MAB. of Art, 150 West 17th St., between Sixth and Seventh avenues in Man- Champ program: Langston Hughes hattan; (212) 620-5000 X 344. www. Public Library, 100-01 Northern Blvd. rmanyc.org; 3:30 –4:15 pm; $10 per at 216th Street; (718) 651-1100; www. child/adult pair ($5 for members; $5 for queenslibrary.org; 6 pm; Free. each additional child). Career preparation for teens. Children ages 5 and up accompanied by an adult partake in an interactive Tues, June 7 walk through the museum. Lesson of the day: Laurelton Pub- Manners workshop: Steinway Pub- lic Library, 134-26 225th St. at Mer- lic Library, 21-45 31 St. at 21st Avenue; rick Boulevard; (718) 528-2822; www. (718) 728-1965; www.queenslibrary. Mind your ‘Peas’ queenslibrary.org; 3 pm. org; 4 pm; Free. his music is ‘Hot’! they’re the winners of the 2006, Teens get help in math, science and Teens learn the the appropriate way social studies. to conduct themselves in public places. On June 4, Hot Peas ’N 2008 and 2009 Parent’s Choice Must attend all four parts. T Butter brings its Carib- Awards. Beading workshop: Briarwood bean beat to the Flushing Town Hot Peas ’N Butter at Flushing Public Library, 85-12 Main St. at Village “It’s Poppin’ Up Puppets”: Mary Hall for an afternoon concert. Town Hall [137-35 Northern Blvd. Road; (718) 658-1680; www.queensli- Whalen Playground, Park Lane South at brary.org; 4 pm; Free. The children’s group blends at Linden Place in Flushing, (718) 79th Street; www.nycgovparks.org; 7–8 Teens explore various techniques to pm; Free. traditional Latin and Afro-Carib- 463-7700], June 4 at 2 pm. Free. For make jewelry. Classic story by Janice Buckner, music, bean music with jazz, folk, and info, visit www.flushingtownhall.org. dance and more. Sponsored by Astoria rock for a show that gets the Recommended for children ages 5 Writing club: Woodhaven Public Federal Savings Bank. whole family dancing. No wonder and older. Library, 85-41 Forest Pkwy.; (718) 849- 1010; www.queenslibrary.org; 4:30 pm; Concert: Barnes & Noble, 176-60 Free. Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; (718) Gregg Heffley helps children ages 8 to Flushing Town 380-7077; 7 pm; Free. Center, 79-01 Broadway; (718) 334- Hot Peas ’N Butter: 14 with their journaling skills. Pre-regis- Hall, 137-35 Northern Boulevard; (718) Pathways College Preparatory stu- 5624; 1:30–3:30 pm; Free. tration required. dents perform. Educate parents. 463-7700; www.flushingtownhall.org; 1 and 2 pm; Free. Wed, June 8 Thurs, June 2 Fri, June 3 Children ages 5 and up are introduced to rhythms, songs and dances with a Ca- Introduction to computers: 11 Listening workshop: Laurelton Story time: Forest Hills Public Library, ribbean beat. am. Rochdale Village Public Library. See 108-19 71st Ave.; (718) 268-7934; Public Library, 134-26 225th St. at Mer- “Little Red”: Flushing Public Library, Wednesday, June 1. www.queenslibrary.org; 2:30 pm; Free. rick Boulevard; (718) 528-2822; www. 41-17 Main St. at Parsons Boulevard; queenslibrary.org; 3 and 4 pm; Free. Early literacy program for Japanese Career workshop: Langston Hughes (718) 661-1200; www.queenslibrary. Public Library, 100-01 Northern Blvd. Teens and children practice activi- children with parent/caregiver. org; 2 pm; Free. ties to develop learning skills and follow at 216th Street; (718) 651-1100; www. Arts and crafts: Briarwood Public A fairy tale in rhythm and rhyme pre- instructions. queenslibrary.org; 3 pm; Free. Library, 85-12 Main St. at Village Road; sented by fiddler Kenny Kosek. Teens have an opportunity to explore Discussion group: Lefrak Public Li- (718) 658-1680; www.queenslibrary. Culinary workshop: Peninsula Public different careers choices. brary, 98-30 57th Ave. at Junction Bou- org; 4 pm; Free. Library, 92-25 Rockaway Beach Blvd.; levard; (718) 592-7677; www.queensli- Teens create a project. Career workshop: Laurelton Pub- (718) 634-1110; www.queenslibrary.org; lic Library, 134-26 225th St. at Mer- brary.org; 4 pm; Free. 2 pm; Free. Teens meet and talk about everyday rick Boulevard; (718) 528-2822; www. Sat, June 4 Kids learn about fresh organic fruits queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. situations and experiences. and veggies. “Mi bebe es un heroe”: Repertorio Teens have an opportunity to explore Sewing workshop: South Hollis Pub- Espanol, 138 E. 27th St. in Manhattan; different careers choices. lic Library, 204-01 Hollis Ave. at 204th Sun, June 5 (212) 225-9920; www.repertorio.org; Teen workshop: Broadway Public Street; (718) 465-6779; www.queensli- Noon; $12. brary.org; 4 pm; Free. Volunteer day: Queens Botanical Library, 40-20 Broadway at Steinway Bilingual puppet show that teaches For teens. Garden, 43-50 Main St.; (718) 539- Street; (718) 721-2462; www.queensli- the importance of love and family val- 5296; www.queensbotanical.org; 10 brary.org; 4 pm; Free. Story time: Barnes & Noble, 176-60 ues. For children ages 2 and up. am–1:30 pm; Free. Adolescents learn about healthy Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; (718) Indian celebration: Jackson Heights Roll up your sleeves and help clean up relationships. 380-7077; 6:30 pm; Free. the garden. Registration required. Public Library, 35-51 81st St. at North- “Bessie’s Big Shot”: Dry Harbor Teachers from PS 173 read to students ern Boulevard; (718) 899-2500; www. Scavenger hunt: Fort Totten, Cross Playground, Forest Park, Myrtle Avenue and parents. queenslibrary.org; 12:30 pm; Free. Island Parkway, Exit 32; (718) 352-1769; at 81st Street; info@cityparksfoundation. Car-seat safety: Elmhurst Hospital Crafts, artisans and dancing. 1 pm; Free. org; www.nycgovparks.org; 7 pm; Free. 44 QUEENS Family • June 2011 Going Places Root for Bessie as she accomplishes Hughes Public Library, 100-01 Northern the impossible. Blvd. at 216th Street; (718) 651-1100; www.queenslibrary.org; 4:30 pm; Free. Thurs, June 9 Participants read, write and taste their culutre. Reading kick-off: Long Island City Public Library, 37-44 21 St. at 43rd Av- Champ program: Langston Hughes enue; www.queenslibrary.org; 10 am; Public Library, 100-01 Northern Blvd. Free. at 216th Street; (718) 651-1100; www. queenslibrary.org; 6 pm; Free. Start off the summer right with a reading of “A Tale Dark and Grimm” by College and career prep for teens. author Adam Gidwitz, storytellers, and Game night: South Jamaica Public craft projects. Library, 108-41 Guy R. Brewer Blvd. be- Flea market: Windsor Park Public Li- tween 108th and 109th avenues; (718) brary, 79-50 Bell Blvd. at 73rd Avenue; 739-4088; www.queenslibrary.org; 6 (718) 468-8300; www.queenslibrary. pm; Free. org; 11 am – 7 pm; Free. Fun for the whole family. Play board games and Wii. Light refreshments Membership drive and bargains pre- served. sented by the Friends of the Queens Library. Open mic: Barnes & Noble, 176-60 Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; (718) Summer reading: Fresh Meadows 380-7077; 7:30 pm; Free. Public Library, 193-20 Horace Harding Expy. at Peck Avenue; (718) 454-7272; Share your original works and listen to www.queenslibrary.org; 1 pm; Free. host Susan Yang. Kick off the season. Registration for all ages. Tues, June 14 Talent show: Astoria Public Library, Flag day: Briarwood Public Library, 14-01 Astoria Blvd. at 14th Street; (718) 85-12 Main St. at Village Road; (718) 278-2220; www.queenslibrary.org; 1:30 658-1680; www.queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. pm; Free. Teens compete, prizes awarded. Children and teens learn all about the flags of different countries. Manga club: Flushing Public Library, 41-17 Main St. at Parsons Boulevard; Wear it now: Ridgewood Public Li- (718) 661-1200; www.queenslibrary. Teaching with toys brary, 20-12 Madison St. at Forest Av- org; 4 pm; Free. enue; (718) 821-4770; www.queensli- elp your child get more through fun, hands-on activi- brary.org; 4 pm; Free. Teens watch clips and discuss the out of playtime. ties. Find out how vector toys genre. Make your own beaded accessories. H On June 13, the Queens and string things work, and even Delali Haligah shows how to create dif- Library and Mad Science of Long bring home a new toy — a glow- ferent styles and methods. Pre-registra- Fri, June 10 Island present “Science of Toys,” ing “Mad Science Yo-Yo” — to tion required. Community fair: Astoria Public Li- an afternoon of exploring how continue the lesson. brary, 14-01 Astoria Blvd. at 14th Street; some of your child’s favorite toys “Science of Toys” at the Flushing Wed, June 15 (718) 278-2220; www.queenslibrary. work using basic science prin- branch of the Queens Library [41-17 org; 11:30 am; Free. Special needs workshop: Commu- ciples. Main St. at 41st Avenue in Flushing, nity Resources and Services for Children, Services and screenings. Using bouncing balls, yo-yos (718) 661-1200], June 13 at 3 pm. 90-04 161st St. at 90th Avenue; (212) and other classic toys, they can Free. Pre-registration required. For 677-4650; www.resourcesnyc.org; 10 Sat, June 11 discover the science of motion info, visit www.queenslibrary.org. am–1 pm; Free. Celebrate Father’s day: Victor Han- The earlier the better offers parents son Recreation Center, 133-39 Guy R. knowledge of resources available to them for young children. Brewer Blvd. at 137th Avenue; www. Summer reading: Peninsula Public Concert: Maspeth Public Library, nycgovparks.org; 11 am–3 pm; Free. Library, 92-25 Rockaway Beach Blvd.; 69-70 Grand Ave. at 71st Street; (718) Wet and Wild Edventures: Central Give dads, brothers, uncles and grand- (718) 634-1110; www.queenslibrary.org; 639-5228; www.queenslibrary.org; 2:30 Library, 89-11 Merrick Blvd.; (718) 990- dads a day at the spa with manicures 2:30 pm; Free. pm; Free. 0700; www.queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. and chair messages. Children create an Kick off the season with ice cream Peter LaRosa performs music from Eriks’ reptile adventures features live arts-and-craft project to bring home. and reading. around the world. aquatic amphibians from four conti- Nature games: Fort Totten, Cross nents. For children 11 to 14. Pre-registra- Poetry workshop: Central Library, tion required. Island Parkway, Exit 32; (718) 352-1769; Sun, June 12 89-11 Merrick Blvd.; (718) 990-0700; 1 pm; Free. www.queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. Marine biology workshop: Flush- Children ages 5 and up play games Open mic: Central Library, 89-11 Michael Alpiner, leads a 90-minute ing Public Library, 41-17 Main St. at Par- and enjoy a day with the Urban Park Merrick Blvd.; (718) 990-0700; www. class. sons Boulevard; (718) 661-1200; www. Rangers. queenslibrary.org; 2 pm; Free. queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. Toy making: Long Island City Public Squid To Whales teaches students Nature workshop: Steinway Public Calling all poets. Library, 37-44 21 St. at 43rd Avenue; from life in a glass of water to an entire Library, 21-45 31 St. at 21st Avenue; www.queenslibrary.org; 4 pm; Free. marine environment. Pre-registration re- (718) 728-1965; www.queenslibrary. Mon, June 13 LEAP participants explore the mechan- quired. For children ages 6 to 12. org; 2 pm; Free. ics of toys from various cultures and time Introduction to computers: 11 “Jack and the Beanstalk”: So- Here Chicky, Chicky presented by Rob- periods. Pre-registration required. ert McMinn and Nules Corkery discuss am. Rochdale Village Public Library. See belsohn Park in Forest Park, Park Lane how to raise chickens. Wednesday, June 1. Story and cooking time: Langston Continued on page 46 June 2011 • QUEENS Family 45 Going Places Continued from page 45 Fri, June 24 South at Park Lane; www.nycgovparks. org; 7–8 pm; Free. Arts and crafts: 4 pm. Briarwood Public Library. See Friday, June 3. Bring your own chair or blanket and sit back for a Pattycake Theater production of the perennial favorite. Sat, June 25 Luau storytime: Barnes & Noble, Thurs, June 16 176-60 Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; (718) 380-7077; 11 am; Free. Arts and crafts: Windsor Park Public Library, 79-50 Bell Blvd. at 73rd Avenue; Children in first to sixth grades have (718) 468-8300; www.queenslibrary. iced tea and join the summer reading org; 4 pm; Free. program. Teens and tweens make a father’s day Family day: Fort Totten, Cross Is- craft to bring home to dear old dad. land Parkway, Exit 32; (718) 352-1769; Noon–3 pm; Free. Fri, June 17 Fun afternoon of games, crafts, medical screening, pet microchipping and “Bessie’s Big Shot”: Rockaway Play- demos. ground, Boardwalk at Bayside Place; [email protected]; www. Summer celebration: Boardwalk, B. nycgovparks.org; 9:45 am; Free. 32 St. and Beach Channel Drive; (718) 318-4000; www.nycgovparks.org; Root for Bessie as she accomplishes Noon–3 pm; Free. the impossible. Children enjoy the unofficial first day Story time: 2:30 pm. Forest Hills Pub- of summer with games, a petting zoo, lic Library. See Friday, June 3. and performances by Squeaky Clean and Magical exhibition Puppets in the Park. he magic of “Harry Potter” worn at the Yule Ball. Enter the Family day: Phil Rizzuto Park, 127th Street at 95th Avenue; (718) 520-5918; comes to life in this new Quidditch area and toss a quaf- Sat, June 18 www.nycgovparks.org; 2–6 pm; Free. exhibition at the Discovery fle, pull your own mandrake in Celebrate dad: Barnes & Noble, 176- T Arts and crafts, face painting, rides, 60 Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; (718) Times Square museum. the herbology vignette, encoun- music, games and contests. 380-7077; 11 am; Free. You and your little Hogwarts ter Buckbeak the hippogriff and Special story time. fan can explore more than 200 even a giant Acromantula spider. Sun, June 26 authentic costumes and props The only thing missing is Daniel Arts and crafts: Barnes & Noble, from the popular films, displayed Radcliffe himself! Seashore hike: Beach, Beach 96th St. 176-60 Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; in settings inspired by the sets. “Harry Potter: The Exhibition” at at Boardwalk; (718) 318-4000; www. (718) 380-7077; 11:30 am; Free. nycgovparks.org; 1 pm; Free. While touring the exhibition Discovery Times Square [226 W. 44th Make a special gift for dad. Supplies Join the Rangers and see what trea- St. between Seventh and Eighth av- limited. space, you can even discover sures the sea comes up with. iconic items such as Harry’s orig- enues in Manhattan, (866) 987-9692], Juneteenth 2011: Langston Hughes inal wand and eyeglasses, the Ma- now through Oct. 5. Tickets $25, Summer solstice: Queens Botani- Public Library, 100-01 Northern Blvd. rauder’s Map, Gryffindor school $22.50 for seniors, $19.50 for children. cal Garden, 43-50 Main St.; (718) 539- at 216th Street; (718) 651-1100; www. 5296; www.queensbotanical.org; 1 pm; uniforms as well as costumes For info, visit www.discoverytsx.co. queenslibrary.org; Noon–4 pm; Free. Free with garden admission. An exciting day of celebrating the old- Poetry, crafts and music. Space is est commemoration of the ending of limited. Pond Playground in Forest Park, Myrtle slavery with songs, lectures and theater. Tues, June 21 Avenue at Park Lane South; www.ny- “Journeys: a Magical Trip”: Central Lesson of the day: 3 pm. Laurelton cgovparks.org; 7–8 pm; Free. Presented Tues, June 28 Public Library. See Tuesday, June 7. Library, 89-11 Merrick Blvd.; (718) 990- by Pattycake Theater with actors and Lanyard: Briarwood Public Library, 0700; www.queenslibrary.org; 2 pm; Poetry workshop: Barnes & Noble, puppets. Bring a low chair or blanket. 85-12 Main St. at Village Road; (718) Free. 176-60 Union Tpk. at Utopia Turnpike; 658-1680; www.queenslibrary.org; 4 Explore the world through music and (718) 380-7077; 7:30 pm; Free. Thurs, June 23 pm; Free. dance. Budding poets get help from Bob Celebrate the end of the school year Dancing workshops: Arverne Public Trabold and Amanda Konstantine by making key chains, necklaces and Family camping: Alley Pond Park Library, 312 Beach 54th St. at Rock- Perlmutter. bracelets. For children and teens. Adventure Center (APPAC), Alley Pond away Beach Boulevard; (718) 634-4784; Park, Little Neck, NY; (718) 217-6034; www.queenslibrary.org; 2 pm; Free. www.nyc.gov/parks/rangers; 6 pm; Wed, June 29 Wed, June 22 Dance your way to being fit. Free. Explorers Club: 11 am–noon. Rubin “Bessie’s Big Shot”: Highland Park, Food and tents provided. Bring your Listening workshop: 3 and 4 pm. Elton Street at Jamaica Avenue; info@ own sleeping bags. Family size limited to Museum of Art. See Wednesday, June Laurelton Public Library. See Thursday, 1. cityparksfoundation.org; www.nycgov- four participants. Register in advance. June 2. parks.org; 1 pm; Free. Career day: Laurelton Public Library, Career day: 3 pm. Laurelton Public Root for Bessie as she accomplishes Mon, June 20 134-26 225th St. at Merrick Boulevard; Library. See Wednesday, June 22. the impossible. (718) 528-2822; www.queenslibrary. Reading club: North Forest Park Li- org; 4 pm; Free. Sewing workshop: 4 pm. South “Wizard of Oz”: Mary Whalen Play- brary, 98-27 Metropolitan Ave. at 70th ground, Park Lane South at 80th Street; Children, ages 11 to 14, plan for the Avenue; (718) 261-5512; www.queensli- Story and cooking time: 4:30 pm. www.nycgovparks.org; 7–8 pm; Free. future. Register in advance. brary.org; 3 pm; Free. Children 13 to 18 Langston Hughes Public Library. See Presented by the Pattycake Theatre. read, sing, write poetry and draw. “Alice in Wonderland”: Jackson Monday, June 13. Bilingual presentation. 46 QUEENS Family • June 2011 FREE NEW YORK Winter 2010 FREE NEW YORK SPECIAL C SPECIAL CHILD www.familyresourceny.com HILD www.webfamilyny.com Over 50 8 Resources ways to heal S.M.A.R.T. through IEP Goals music Advocating for your child Yoga works Service Making school as therapy dogs for sense-ational children

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High Schools AnniversaryEight Year Guide to October 2010 March 2010 Fa m ily www.familyresourceny.comFa m ily www.webfamilyny.com BROOKLYN FREE FREE BRONX/RIVERDALE Talkin’ Teen s Fawww.familyresourceny.com m i l y Fawww.webfamilyny.com m i l y Safer Doubling up! surfing Managing the cost of multiples F o r t o d a y ’ s i T e e n s Mastering Facebook S m a r t e r s o c i a l n e t w o r k i n g Perfect match Big smiles P i c k y o u r s u m m e r p r o g r a m n o w ! T h e o r t h o c h e c k l i s t

Where to go in March? Check out our Right bites! Where to go in October? Check out our Eat your way to better health Going Places Going Places Check out our Going Places Going Places Where to go in February? Check out our WHERE TO GO IN JULY?

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48 QUEENS Family • June 2011 ~ Party Planners ~ Happy Henry Children’s Parties “The Wizard/Magician Clown” Close Up Magic H H at its very finest Cute Clowns MusICAl GAMes • Hands-on Magic H CARtoon H PICtuRe • Balloon aniMals CHARACteRs tIMe • Face Painting H BAlloon H MAGIC • illusions and Hundreds H oF costuMe cHaracters sCulPtInG Cotton Birthdays, Bar Mitzvahs, christenings, H FACe PAIntInG CAnDY MACHIne children’s and adult Parties We Come to You and Bring Smiles to Your Children! Corporate aCCounts welCome (718) 683-1739 • (516) 987-9288 seen on 917-617-3698 vIsIt ouR weB sIte At 3CPARtIes.CoM! HBo www.HappyHenrytheWizard.com

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Magician As seen www.kidsfunhouse.com All At A ReAsonAble PRice Comical Nerd on TV (718) 441-5764 Specializing in (718) 441-7796 • Magic • Balloon Sculpting Themed Birthday www.allinoneentertainment.com Rico is a Clowns • Magicians • Cartoon Characters University Parties • Comedy • Roasting Arts & Crafts, Dinosaur, Candy, Glamour Makeover, Princess/Knight and more Brand New DJ Service • Arts & Crafts Professor of All Types of Bounce • Face Painting Sand/ 6000 sf of plain fun! PARTY ROOM • Educational Shows Speech and Each 3 hour party includes: w/Soft Play Area Spin Art • Balloon Artists • Adults/Kids Communication • 1.5 hours in private party room Tri-story playground with mazes and Private Events • and much more!!! • Pizza, soda or juice • Birthday cake with candles triple slide, toddler area, video games! WEEkdAy SPEciAl STArTS • Costumes, dancing or craft • Balloons and all Great destination for school trips and AT $9000 718-434-9697 • 917-318-9092 party supplies • Dedicated host • Invitations summer camps starting at $5 per child. 62-73 Fresh Pond Road • Tel: 718.418.5437 95-25 Jamaica Ave, Woodhaven, NY 11421

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Todd Neufeld ! featured entertainer 1-212-748-9798 1-800-505-TWIST (800-505-8947) www.twistedballoon.com [email protected] ! Home Pony Parties 2 Ponies Wagon, EVENT & Best Clowns Petting Zoo PARTY Clowns • Costume Characters Choo-Choo Trackless CONSULTING Train, Moon Bouncer, Obstacle Princess Parties • Magicians Courses, Dunktanks, Ball Pit, Cotton Candy, Popcorn Snow Cone, Pirate Ship, Whip, Rides, Face Painters • Balloon Art Inflatable Train, Cowboy / Girl Hats Available, Caricaturists • Toddler Games Tents, Chairs, Tables, Portable Toilets & More Cotton Candy & More 631-491-5867 www.LaughingPonyParties.com 1-800-75-CLOWN or 212-614-0988 FREE: Bi-Lingual Performers Available * Private & Corporate Events Pumpkins & Hayrides All Boros, L.I. & Westchester In October At Our Farm

To place an ad in this section, please call 718.260.2587

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 49 New & Noteworthy

The bow show This is the how-to for hair. Learn how to make boutique bows, baby clips, tutus, braided barrettes and more with these online tutorials. Birdsong Bows has 20 guides to making fun or fancy accessories for your little girl, niece or granddaughter, complete with easy-to-read descriptions and plenty of photos. Geared towards beginners, you can make crafting hair accoutrements an engaging activity with your child, or a new hobby all to yourself. Bows for beginners bundle packages, $35. For info, visit www.etsy.com/people/birdsong- bows.

which Snyder ‘Zoo’ story has found to Hop to it be successful Butts are so useful — not with his own With a name like Hug- only do they enable us to sit, daughter. gyBunny, you know these they can even teach us how In addition clothes are soft and com- to draw! to providing fortable! The new activity book “Ev- step-by-step This line of Peruvian Pima erything Butt Art at the Zoo” instructions for cotton baby clothes is just teaches children ages 4 and sketch i n g 15 zo o that, in a variety of styles, in- older the core principals of animals, “Every- cluding sleeveless onesies, step-by-step drawing. And thing Butt Art at T-shirt onesies, long sleeve every drawing originates from the the Zoo” offers unique facts about onesies, skirt onesies, rompers, clas- and bananas, frogs, and this kanga- outline of — yes — a butt. each of the characters alongside sic gowns, and convertible gowns, roo romper. There’s also, of course, This creative and educational colorful illustrations your own child as well as footsies, blankets, hats, a gown with a bunny printed on the activity book by Brian Snyder and will be making in no time. and bibs, with as many precious front — and back. illustrator Alexis Moniello is de- “Everything Butt Art at the Zoo,” screen-printed images, including Girl romper by HuggyBunny, $36. For signed to encourage young artists $9.95. For info, visit everythingbuttart. hummingbirds, butterflies, monkeys info, visit www.huggybunny.com. with a fun and effective technique, com. Word up ‘Bugs’ to be released During your next fam- “Bugs” for sale! frontman and solo artist before mak- ily road trip or play date, Favorite kids musician Mister ing the transition to family music. little wordsmiths looking to G has a new record “Bugs” features mu- pass the time have a fun new ready to infest your sical styles that bounce game. zipper up the pouch. CD player just in time engagingly from blue- From the makers of Bananagrams The first person to score for summer BBQs and grass to bossa nova, comes ZIP-IT, a two-player cross- 10 points shouts, “ZIP-IT!,” and wins pool parties. ska to folk and rock. word race that can be played any- the game. A follow-up to his The song themes vary time, anywhere, in as little as 20 Geared towards players ages 7 beloved 2009 album from world travels to seconds. and up, ZIP-IT features 24 high-qual- “Pizza for Breakfast,” a shark in the bath- To play ZIP-IT, each person takes ity letter cubes packaged in a unique “Bugs” features 13 origi- tub to annoying sib- 12 cubes and races to form his own cloth pouch with scoring zippers, so nal songs by Mister G — lings and, of course, crossword grid using any side of everything you need to play is — lit- aka Ben Gundersheimer, bugs! the cubes. The first player to use all erally — in the bag. a critically acclaimed singer-song- “Bugs” by Mister G. For info, visit his cubes calls, “ZIP!,” and scores ZIP-IT, $14.95. For info, visit www. writer who spent 20 years as a rock www.mistergsongs.com. a point by moving his or her own bananagrams.com.

50 QUEENS Family • June 2011 .

SUMMER’S HERE AND WE’VE GOT AWESOME CAMPS FOR KIDS AND YOUR VALUE PASS TO SUMMER FUN! New Skills New Thrills YMCA Branches

New Friends Queens Cross Island (718) 479-0505 YMCA Camp. Flushing (718) 961-6880 Jamaica (718) 739-6600 It's what kids want Long Island City (718) 392-7932 for summer. Ridgewood (212) 912-2180

Hurry! It’s not too late to register. Space is still available! ...AND OUR SLEEPAWAY CAMPS

New York YMCA Camp (Huguenot, NY) (845) 858-2200

Call (212) 630-YMCA or visit ymcanyc.org for more information.

Financial assistance available. Come In. Be Cool. “Summer Membership” offer is valid on new memberships at YMCA of Greater New York locations only. The offer runs from May 14, 2011, to June 27, 2011. “Summer Memberships” are valid from date of registration through September We’ve got your Value Pass to Summer Fun! 5, 2011; Family Membership includes 1 or 2 adults with children under 18 years of age all living in the same household; must be paid in full at time of registration; cannot be combined with any other offer; and are non-transferable. Valid Just $200 for an adult, or $275 for the whole family! photo ID is required. Park Slope Armory YMCA, Ridgewood YMCA and Flatbush YMCA do not offer a swimming pool. Some pricing exceptions apply. Ask about our Summer Membership Special and get connected with Y Personal Fitness!

June 2011 • QUEENS Family 51 Orthodontist AARON MILCHMAN D.M.D., P.C. STATE OF THE ART ORTHODONTICS Beautiful Smiles Created In A Caring & Comfortable Setting

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