>•-' -V P.3 AAE P. 12 SPORTS Wm Teenage dlrtbags Their name is Jonas We won! The economy's downward spiral — and Its effects on the Why the lo-Bros are a talented — and sartorially skilled — O, ye of little faith. Rice sent SMU home, crying. Juicy mall-frequenting, textlng teenage masses. boy band, even for the older-than-14 set details insidel

thVOLUME XCVI,e ISSUE NO . 3Ric STUDENT-RUe N SINCE 1916 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2008 Wiess, WRC offer free 0/C lunch BY JOCELYN WRIGHT THRESHER STAFF

Living off campus can be a learn- ing experience. Students venturing beyond the accommodating dorm situ- ation have to suddenly deal with bills, buying groceries and preparing meals. However, Will Rice College and Wiess College are now offering to shoulder the lunchtime burden by offering free weekly meals. At Will Rice, where the program is in its third year, off-campus students are provided with free sand- wiches and cookies each Friday. Wiess is pioneering a similar program, and will be offering free sandwiches to off- campus students Tuesdays for the next two weeks to gauge student interest. Will Rice Master Paula Krisko said she and her husband, Mike Wolf, start- ed the program two years ago as part of a series of efforts to get off-campus students more involved in residential college life. "Pretty much one-fourth of our stu- dents live off campus and we thought this could help college cohesion," Krisko said. "We tried to make events — and this is one of them — that might encourage people to come back to the college at different times, so people who Drink in hand, Sid Richardson College sophomore Graham Johnson gets pumped up for Rice's football wouldn't normally come back would In-tents tailgating game against SMU last Friday. More than 23,000 fans turned out to watch the Owls' first game of the year. have a day where they can come and relax. We hoped this would encourage that and generally encourage people to remain part of the college and hopefully Rice Webmail Farach-Carson named first Associate come back during their senior year." Krisko said Will Rice sees between 15 and 30 participants in any given upgraded Vice Provost for Research, begins 2009 week. Students put their names on a sign-up sheet and are provided with BY CATHERINE BRATIC BY MATTHEW MCKEE between humanities and social sci- believe that the only way to tackle bread, cheese and lunch meats. Krisko THRESHER STAFF THRESHER STAFF ence faculty with faculty in the TMC. these is to bring an interdisciplinary said the college had to devise a cheaper Farach-Carson said her position team together to work for common way to feed students because lunch can Rice's Webmail received an update As part of a growing investment was created to help foster interdisci- solutions." cost over $6, which would deplete all in May to make it faster and better in research, Rice University selected plinary research. She hopes to assist At the University of Delaware, the funds available for that year in two able to handle the large volumes of Mary Farach-Carson as its first associ- researchers from different fields come Farach-Carson is a professor of bio- months. She said the cost of the sand- e-mail sent to and from Rice accounts ate vice provost for research. Farach- together to work on projects address- logical and material sciences, and wiches was a little under $2 per person. every day. Carson, who currently teaches and ing large issues. she is a founding director of the Cen- Will Rice Coordinator Joyce Cour- Barry Ribbeck, Director for Infor- directs research at the University of ter for Translational Cancer Research. toise said she brings cookies for the off- mation Technology Systems, Archi- Delaware, will begin her work at Rice She said she looks forward to work- campus students each week. tecture and Infrastructure, said the next fall. ing with researchers from multiple "I figure they deserve a little des- update replaced old hardware and The creation of this position fol- disciplines and hopes to assist under- sert," Courtoise said. software from the Webmail interface, lows Rice's rapidly expanding inter- graduate students projects as well as Wiess master Mike Gustin said he which could no longer accommodate est in research and collaboration projects from graduate students and suggested the program to the Wiess Rice's increasing volume of mail. The detailed in President David Leebron's faculty. In her lab at the University off-campus representatives because he Webmail page also got a makeover, Vision for the Second Century. In pro- of Delaware, undergraduates work and Will Rice master Wolf frequently which Ribbeck hopes will make com- moting research, Farach-Carson will together on biomedical projects. share ideas, and he thought the off- monly used features such as spam help encourage and create links with Farach-Carson said her interest and campus lunch program would benefit filters and vacation messages easier the Texas Medical Center and will commitment to research bloomed Wiess students. to find. Ribbeck said the update was also become a part-time faculty mem- during her undergraduate years. Wiess had its first experimental free made following student requests for ber as a professor of biochemistry and "We have an obligation to the next lunch in the spring. Gustin said it was faster Webmail. cell biology. She will work extensively generation of scientists to give them well received by students. Like the Will This is the first time that an up- with the projects of the Collaborative research opportunities, and I just Rice program, the Wiess program costs grade has been made to the interface Research Center, which is scheduled love it," Farach-Carson said. "When about $2 per student. The lunch fare in- portion of the system, Ribbeck said. for completion in 2009. I come to Rice, I am sure that we will cludes bread, sandwich meats, peanut Only Webmail servers and storage Vice Provost for Research Jim look for places in interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research ef- butter and jelly. Gustin said he is cur- have been updated in recent years. He Coleman said his office works with Associate Vice Provost for researchers from varying academic forts that allow [for] undergraduates, rently providing half the money for the said the old Webmail system's hard- Research Mary Farach-Carson program and the Wiess Cabinet is pro- ware was over five years old, and the fields across Rice, as will Farach-Car- graduates, post docs and professors viding the other half. Over the past two operating systems and the version of son, but because one of her specific "I would view myself as a catalyst to work together." weeks that the pilot program has been the software had not been upgraded. tasks is to forge collaborations be- to help pursue more of those kind of Coleman, who has worked at the in effect, approximately 30 students a "This was old when I got here [in tween Rice faculty and faculty in the projects," Farach-Carson said. "Clean university for about 11 months, said week have shown up, making the pro- Dec. 200SI," Ribbeck said. "It was time Texas Medical Center, she is likely to water, renewable energy, global he will work with Farach-Carson gram cost about $60 per week. Gustin for an upgrade... So in a sense, the entire spend more time facilitating and de- health ... all of these problems are so to provide infrastructure support saidheisworkingwithWiessoff-campus Webmail service needed an overhaul. IT veloping projects. But Farach-Carson complicated that no one researcher for assisting researchers with grant £3 see LUNCH, page 8 O see WFBMAIl., page 9 will also help build collaborations can tackle them anymore, and I firmly O see PROVOST, page 9

Registrar deadlines Foreign film Jungle fever INDEX Opinion 2 This is the last day you can add a course online The screening of let the Wind Blow, a film So perhaps Martel beat Lovett in the "first News 4 sans fee, without the instructor's permission, con- about two friends caught between a nuclear war public party of the year" category, officially, but Arts & Entertainment 12 vert a Pass/Fail from last spring to a letter grade, ready India and Pakistan, begins at 8:00 p.m. in Lovett's Getcheroxoff is an ancient Rice tradition Sports 16 become a part-time student and the last day to the Rice Media Center. from the 1970s. The theme this year? Something Calendar 23 withdraw with 100 percent refund of tuition. Get Tickets are $9 for the general public and $6 for about jungle fun and techno. (But of course.) Backpage 24 busy! students. Roar. 2 OP-ED THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 the Rice (Ihresher m Leebron wisely passes on Amethyst Initiative:

Currently, a proposal called the Amethyst Initiative is circulat- WWt ?ywr* SCORE AT ing among college and university presidents, purporting to be a *T> W «-«- call to "informed and unimpeded debate" about the current sta- ri'S ttoufiZP oy -TO tus and effectiveness of America's alcohol legislation (see story, ye page 6). At this time, more than 120 presidents have signed the initiative, and a few of them are from schools we nominally la- bel "peer" institutions, like Duke University. Despite the buzz surrounding the Initiative, president David Leebron has still not signed it, because he feels that far from be- ing free from bias, the Initiative's implied conclusion is that the current policies are not working, and the drinking age needs to again be lowered to 18. First, we applaud the caution with which President Leebron LETTERS TO THE EDITOR thresher-ops@rice. edu is proceeding with regards to the Amethyst Initiative. To sign a nationally significant document without having all the facts as a point off a purity score does not buildings be declared off-limits for to that document's purpose would be a mistake, and Leebron is ZipCar program necessarily equate to positive expe- Baker 13, mainly those most visited riences. Actions have consequences by the public. After all, do we want well-justified in requesting further information and discussion on the right track that reach beyond the here and now the first experience at Rice for a on the real purpose of the Initiative itself. To the Editor: of an individual. Granted, many suc- visitor to our great university to be Secondly, we appreciate the respect Leebron is showing to I was proud to read that Rice is cessful individuals have shrugged off marred by such racy gestures? both Rice students and to the alcohol policy. He realizes that subsidizing the first carsharing ven- mistakes in their lives as youthful in- Luke Gilman the current drinking age of 21 and the current social strictures in ture in Texas ("Carless No More," Aug. discretions, but public disavowals do Lovett '06 not wash away the regret that lingers place may not be perfect, but he is confident enough in Rice stu- 29). I live in Washington, D.C., a boom- ing ZipCar market. Just like in college, in an individual's conscience. dents' responsibility that he believes it is possible for the system Stadium dinners I don't need a car often, but it gives me However, as students of a top-tier to work for now as it is, at least on this campus. great peace of mind knowing I have university, individuals here should an inconvenience ready access to one when F do need it have the intellectual capacity and to transport something, to get some- the emotional maturity to discern To the Editor: where beyond biking range or to leave the risks involved in pursuing tem- This has got to stop. Not for the town. At Rice, I actually chose friends porary gratification. first time, the Rice Athletics Depart- Free O.C. student who could drive me to dinner on week- Many items on the test seem laugh- ment has succeeded in causing many ends, or take me to Target once a se- ably prude or inconceivable. 1 under- members of the student body a major lunches a good idea mester. And 1 remember being strand- stand that everyone has different per- inconvenience by effectively forcing ed Thanksgiving weekend when car spectives on what belongs in which all students to travel to Rice Stadium If you're an off-campus student, food is a big deal. Most off- owners drove home. Access to ZipCar category, and 1 do not intend to share, in order to eat dinner. With the server- ies all closed in order to complement campus students aren't masters in the kitchen, and their main is just what Rice students need for a let alone impose, my judgment on little freedom. Although you will have each individual question. Individuals the home football opener, students recipes are easily made, pre-packaged, sometimes tasteless food. to plan ahead, cars might be available do evolve and grow in their roughly were left with little recourse other And who has an hour or even thirty minutes to prepare a meal? for that midnight romp to Galveston. four years in college, but they ought to than either preparing their own food Many off-campus students resort to microwavable cuisines or a Two cars is just the beginning — as establish their principles and hold to or going to a restaurant. meal at a restaurant or deli. It can get to be expensive. more students use them, the program them according to their own judgment On Friday nights, students are exhausted. Moreover, this is the But Will Rice and Wiess Colleges have a solution: offer free will grow. 1 recommend that ZipCar without questioning the judgment of expand to include a pickup truck (it is others. We may fail at certain points, first week of classes, when people lunches to off-campus students once a week in their respec- Texas, after all) which even car own- but it is the struggle that matters. are still trying to figure out their tive serveries (See story, page 1). Will Rice came up with the ers might find useful for hauling stuff. Leonard Chan plans for the semester. After classes idea two years ago, and Wiess tested the idea last spring and Rice Zipsters can also use their mem- Lovett '07 end, many students simply want decided to implement it this semester. These two colleges have bership in other cities — it's cheaper the convenience of their local serv- ery and a chance to stop and catch the right idea, and we think it is something the other seven than renting a car. 1 had better reserve my car now for Homecoming this fall. Baker 13 requires their breath from the week, and not should implement. off-limit spaces to have to make a 15-plus minute so- As it is, off-campus life is pretty isolated. Many off-campus Sheffy Gordon journ for something that they have students go "deep OC," never to be heard from again. Imple- jones '98 To the Editor: paid through the nose to have close menting a free lunch system at the colleges promotes more On Labor Day, I ventured to home. back on campus to study at the Please do not misunderstand involvement in the colleges, which isn't such a bad thing. And Test score not worth Brochstein Pavilion. This building me in thinking that my frustration even if not all off-campus students take advantage of the free neglecting values offers a great view and quiet study stems from a lack of school spirit. lunches, the gesture is nice. But really, what off-campus college atmosphere both to students and That is not the case. In reality, I just student in his or her right mind would refuse a free meal? To the Editor: the public. Unfortunately, 1 was feel that this is a cheap tactic that The only inconvenience with the setup is that the free Upon my return to Rice, 1 noticed confronted with those obscene de- doesn't really benefit anyone. There that the purity test had resurfaced in pictions characteristic of Baker 13. is a large contingent of students lunches are not without a price. They cost about $2 to prepare, the Thresher's Backpage ("The 2008 1 understand that this is a great who show up only for the food and totaling about $60 since around 30 students are taking advan- Backpage Purity Test," Aug. 22), which tradition for Rice University and a couldn't care less about football. tage of them. revives memories from my Orientation medium of free expression for its I'm sure that the team doesn't want Considering the comparably huge sum of money each college Week. From my experiences as an un- students, and I am in no way call- apathetic fans, so let's discard this holds in its budget, it seems quite reasonable that all the col- dergraduate, it was far more popular ing for the end of this activity. But "close the serveries" idea and start to tout how low a score can go rather considering that this pavilion is one thinking about the university be- leges could start this sort of lunch program, whether on a full than how high a score can be kept. of the most visited buildings by off- yond the stadium. or partial scale. We fully encourage any sort of implementation, n College represents a time of ex !o- campus visitors, has this tradition Ian Jones because the financial burden is more tnan onset by the benefits ration and adventure, but knocking gone too far? I suggest that certain Martel College sophomore it brings to the members of each college's community. The free lunch idea is great - college students love anything that involves the word "free" and "food." But if there is one Lily Chun & Dylan Farmer The Rice Thresher, the official student news- thing we know, it is that there is no such thing as a free lunch. Editors in Chief paper at Rice University since 1916, is pub lished each Friday during the school year, Ultimately, though, we feel that this is the type of meal the col- except during examination periods and holi- days, by the students of Rice University. leges would be wise to pay for. NEWS WE* Sarah Rutledge Editor John Michael Cuccia Editor Letters to the Editor must be received by Rachel Carlson Asst. Editor Steven Wang Asst. Editor 5 p.m. the Monday prior to publication and Cindy Dinh Asst. Editor must be signed, including college and year if Thresher recuitment Catherine Bratic Designer PHOTOGRAPHY the writer is a Rice student. Letters should not Kylie Klein Designer David Rosales Editor exceed 250 words in length. The Thresher re- Tiffany Kuo Designer Lauren Schoefflerdssf. Editor serves the rights to edit letters for content and length and to place letters on our website. session Ian White dssf. Editor OP-ED Editorial & business offices are The Thresher will be having it's first recruitment session of Amanda Melchor Editor BUSINESS located on the second floor of the Ley Stu- Neel Shah Cartoonist Sarah Mitchell Managers Payroll dent Center: the year this Saturday, Sept. 6, in the RMC. The times and loca- Jessie Huang Subscriptions Manager tions breakdown is as follows: SPORTS Gustavo Herrera Distribution Manager 6100 Main St.,MS-524 Natalie Clericuzio Editor Sergio Jaramillo Distribution Manager Houston, TX 77005-1892 Yan Digilov Editor Phone (713) 348 4801 Fax (713) 348-5238 2-2:30 p.m. Sports (Miner Lounge), Photo (Thresher office) ADVERTISING E-mail: [email protected] ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Joseph Ramirez Ads Manager Website: www.ricethresher.org 2:30-3 p.m. A&E (Miner Lounge), Design/Web (Thresher office) Julie Armstrong Editor Thomas Yeh Ads Manager 3-3:30 p.m. News (Miner Lounge), Busi/Ads (Thresher office) Tiffany Kuo Classified Ads Manager Unsigned editorials represent the major- COPY ity opinion of the Thresher editorial staff. 3:30-4 p.m. Copy Editing (Miner Lounge), Ops (Thresher office) Nick Schlossman Editor BACKPAGE Ail other opinion pieces represent solely Ryan Stickney Editor Kyle Barnhart Editor the opinion of the piece's author. Anna Wilde Editor Timothy Faust Editor We strongly encourage anyone and everyone interested to drop The Thresher is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press. 17 Days. by. All of the sessions are completely informal, with no pres- CALENDAR sure at all. lust wander between sections, ask questions, and Sean McBeath Editor © Copyright 2008 see what you like! Op-Ed VP selection resembles reality television'Three Cups of Tea' tastes A COUPLE OF years ago, the movie mate, but the language in which he, entire nation on an equal plane for American Dreamz merrily imagined and everybody else, couched the initial voting. No longer would Iowa like opportunities at Rice a world in which a thinly disguised process. Eliminations, finalists — it hold an unfair advantage. Now any- President Bush, attempting to boost all sounds like a reality show. body with a telephone could ensure LIKE MANY OF the incoming fresh- los could be the Salvadoran every- his popularity ratings, becomes a As I read of more and more politi- that their favorite candidate would men, I did not want to read Three man, perpetually joking and wield- guest judge on American Idol. Last cians who had been "eliminated from triumph in the final round. Cups of Tea. I had even less of a ing a machete, except he has been month, something similar occurred in contention," or who had entered Of course, the debates would reason to do so as well: I am a diagnosed with diabetes and has "the final round" of the VP sweep- not be about policy issues. It would mechanical engineering senior, and failing kidneys. Despite his ever stakes, it started to sound more and make bad television. Candidates I had absolutely no involvement worsening condition, he is always more like a bad show on Fox. Obama would be judged on their looks and with O-Week. with us to help in any way he can, a played the host, the judges and the charisma, as they have been since constant reminder of both our own prize, gleefully naming finalists, and John F. Kennedy defeated sweaty mortality and the resilience of the eventually a winner, in the race to Richard Nixon in i960. We should human spirit. accompany him to the White House. also have our prospective presi- These characters are just a few of Meanwhile, Virginia Governor dents sing, dance and juggle for the ones we have met. They are very the judges. At least then we would Brian Reinhart Tim Kaine was telling reporters that different than us in their origins, na- he had not been one of the last con- know the candidates have some tive tongues and daily habits, but real life, and I think I might have been testants standing. I imagined Obama modicum of talent, which is more by getting to know them, we have the only observer to notice it. Senator calling to say, "I'm sorry, Mr. Kaine, than I can say for Dick Cheney or seen that they are just like us in core Barack Obama turned the selection but you are not a finalist in this sea- John Kerry. Claire Krebs values and everyday cares. Like in of his running mate into a weird real- son of Who Wants to Be a Vice Presi- What I am getting at here is that I will confess: It took me the Mortenson's tale, these people have ity TV show, dropping hints, secretly dent?" Or perhaps a Democratic ar- Barack Obama, in publicizing his better part of two weeks to finish molded our lives and our under- naming finalists and eliminating the biter would inform Hillary Clinton, vice-presidential nomination as if the book. Not because I did not standing of ourselves. lowest-ranked contestants. "Well, Hillary, the judges do not it were a game show, has only be- like it, or thought it was idealistic Although all of the people I have Two days before Joseph Biden think you have what it takes to be gun to explore the possibilities. or sappy, but because I have had met are dear to me, it is a girl named joined the Democratic ticket, CNN Vice Presidential Idol." Based on what we now know about a glimpse into the main character Marina in a tiny town in northern and other news sources reported Donot think I am criticizing Obama him, we can bet he will find more Greg Mortenson's world. El Salvador who means the most that Obama was telephoning vari- for being childish or immature about ways to attract more attention in For those not in-the-know, Three to me. Eighteen years of age, with ous important politicians to let them the nomination process. No, I actu- the next election. He could put all Cups of Tea was this year's freshman long black hair and a pallor uncom- know "they had not been selected" ally think there is serious potential his potential running mates on a summer reading book, co-written mon to most in the village, Marina to become "finalists" for the vice- here for improving our elections. For small island, where they would by Mortenson and David Oliver seems to see through the serious- presidential nomination. Mean- one thing, we could speedily get rid have to compete to survive. That Relin (co-author). It is the story of ness of life to the humor around it, while, Texas Congressman Chet of the lunatic fringe. Imagine if Tom would draw better ratings, and I bet Mortenson, a mountaineer who sees perpetually sharing an inside joke Edwards was able to confirm to the Bergeron, host of Dancing with the it would greatly increase the Ameri- firsthand the poverty of a Pakistani with existence. media that he was a "finalist" to be- Stars, called up Ron Paul and said, can people's respect for the winner. village during a failed mountain as- I met her on my second trip to El come Obama's vice president. "Congressman Paul, the judges were He could summon Tim Kaine and cent, which starts him on his lifelong Salvador, but with my limited Span- The night before Obama an- impressed by your debating prowess, Hillary Clinton to his office and mission to bring education to thou- ish, we had little contact. Unfortu- nounced his vice-presidential but did the viewers agree? We'll find said, "When we combined advisers' sands of rural children by building nately, with travel dates limited to nominee, suspense began to flag. out if you've been eliminated ... right scores and my fan base's votes, you schools across Pakistan. vacations and the beginning or end As MSNBC reported at the time, after this commercial break." Also, were in the bottom two. One of you Mortenson quickly learns that of summer, it is difficult to finish "Sen. Joe Biden emerged as a lead- Simon Cowell could host the presi- is going home — right now." the only way to accomplish a project our project-related tasks, much less ing contender Friday to become Ba- dential debates. And his campaign slogan could of this scale is to build relationships form relationships with more than rack Obama's vice-presidential pick For that matter, we could also be, "John Sidney McCain III, you are with Pakistanis on the ground, us- just the most involved community as two running-mate rivals learned have viewer phone-ins to determine the weakest link!" ing their firsthand knowledge. While members. Of course, we would love they had been eliminated." the winners of each party's presiden- the story itself is overwhelming, the to, but we can only make do with the What interests me here is not how tial nomination. That would elimi- Brian Reinhart is a Wiess real value of the book comes from time we have. Senator Obama chose his running nate pesky primaries, putting the College sophomore. the lessons he learns along the way It was not until my fourth trip that of what will and will not work in I was able to connect with Marina. humanitarian projects. The technical aspects of our project Books and lectures like this seem completed and the rest of the team to find me without my active effort. wandering the village, I was prepar- Economic woes ripple into student livesUsuall y I hear about such things ing to take a well-earned siesta when through the international service she walked by. With the requisite SOME HAD INTERNSHIPS, some the pressure of a slowing economy, proffering nothing but excellent group at Rice that I have been in- "buenas tardes," I invited her to stop sought adventure abroad, some as (among other things) the housing results — a course of action sure to volved with since my freshman year. on our porch. bummed around the house, some bubble burst, the dollar weakened shower all who promote it with good We work on long-term engineering For 45 minutes we shared more spent the summer looking for a job, and gas prices soared. In the midst karma for years to come. Though projects in Latin America, collabo- silence than conversation. Normally and a few found employment. After of the economic malaise, students appearing to be benign, this sum- rating with the people in the com- my test of a friendship is the amount sitting in classrooms for a good nine throughout the country finished mer's unemployed teens can attest munities we serve; like Mortenson, of silence that it can sustain before months, the majority of American school and ventured out in search of that this is naught but an illusion. we have learned the hard way a it is broken. With Marina, I felt like I a job — for a bit of spending money, The minimum wage artificially sustainable project must be built on had known her all my life. resume enhancement and good old- raises the cost of unskilled labor, these relationships. Later that evening, sitting alone fashioned character building. which, as any first-year economics I suppose I should not have been on our porch under the sky, I realized Despite the moxie exhibited by a major can confirm, results in a de- so shocked by the numerous parallels that the reason she feels so familiar to great many teens on the path to gain- crease in the demand for such labor. between Mortenson's experience and me is that with her mannerisms and ful employment, the statistics were In this way the government's ac- my own, but I was. He has had the nature, she is me. not in their favor. At the beginning tions encourage employers to seek same problems, felt the same frustra- This tall, skinny, uniform-clad of the summer Kristen Lopez East- alternatives like machines or new tions and faced the same language teenage girl who has never been fur- lick, in an article published by the production methods rather than barriers that we have dealt with in our ther away from home than the neigh- Caroline May Washington Examiner, provided the hire employees to provide labor not projects, except Mortenson speaks boring town is the girl I would have youth need a new scene. Summer is distressing news: "According to [the worth the price mandated by the Urdu instead of Spanish. been, had I grown up in a small Sal- a time for — as John Cleese would Department of Labor's] data, only government. It is an empirical fact While the parallels seem endless, vadoran village. And maybe instead say — "something completely dif- about one-third of Americans 16 to that as the minimum wage rises so, what resonated most deeply with me of me traveling from a faraway land ferent." Having torn free from the 19 years old will have a job this sum- too, does the unemployment rate. were the relationships Mortenson to help her, it would have been her bonds of professorial dictates and sti- mer, and vulnerable low-income and In addition to the negatives result- develops in Pakistan. Not only do flying to help me. fling schedules, the ability to choose minority teens are going to fare even ing from this form of price control, it these people help him achieve his Obviously, the material benefit of one's activities for the following three worse. The percentage of teens clas- is important to note the demographic material goals, but they themselves humanitarian projects can be huge. months is a luxury of epic proportion. sified as 'unemployed' — those who makeup of minimum wage earners. reflect fundamental truths about the But 1 would argue that the relation- And some do have great opportuni- are actively seeking a job but can't get The U.S. Census reveals that the ma- world. It is here that I see the deep- ships built along the way are more ties: wealthy parents or a generous one — is more than three times high- jority of minimum wage recipients are est symmetry with our work in Latin important. Similar to Mortenson's ex- relative may finance a trip to Europe. er than the national unemployment teens and young adults just starting America. For every Jahan, Haji Ali perience, all of the people I have met Numerous applications painstakingly rate, according to the most recent De- off in the job market. Only seven per- or Faisal Baig, inspiring and guid- in El Salvador will be with me the rest written months in advance may have partment of Labor statistics." cent were heads of households, and ing Mortenson in his work, there is of my life, and I know I am a better provided one with the opportunity At the heart of this mass increase as a study by the Employment Poli- a corresponding person living in the person for having known them. I can to work as an intern or lab assistant. in teenage unemployment was the cies Institute revealed, two-thirds of communities we visit. only hope I have had a similar effect Others may return to their hometown July 24 increase in the federal mini- minimum wage workers move above There is Ciamara, the adorable lit- on them. community swimming pool to re- mum wage, mandated by the Fair Pay the minimum wage in one year or tle girl from El Salvador who stole our Of course, I am not the only Rice claim their lifetime gig as the beloved Act of 2007 — one of Nancy Pelosi's less. Although a seemingly virtuous hearts with her wide eyes and mis- student to have had this experience. lifeguard. Yet for each trip to Europe early boondoggles as House Majority endeavor, raising the minimum wage chievous smile. Her grandfather calls There are many of us, of every major or invaluable experience at a top or- leader. Indeed, far from proving to be in the majority of cases results not her Mentirosa, "little liar," as she, and class, all trying to be, as Gandhi ganization there are many wholly an economic boon, the increase in the from constituent service but rather one by one, denounced every guy on would put it, "the change [we] wish unable to set their own summertime minimum wage contributed to a teen legislative pandering to special inter- our team as intolerably ugly. to see in the world." agenda. The economic woes of the unemployment rate of 20.3 percent, est groups, namely labor unions. Sup There is Don Mercedes and his There are so many opportunities past year served only to intensify this the highest such rate in over 10 years. porters of a higher minimum wage 24-year-old son, Juan Carlos, also at Rice in which to contribute and unfortunate reality. This is a number made even more might fool themselves into believing from El Salvador. Don Mercedes re- from which to grow. You don't just have to settle for reading about it. The precise definition of an eco- dramatic when compared with the their own assertions of moral superi- minds you of your grandfather with nomic recession is two consecu- percentage of total unemployment, ority, but the results of their actions his mannerisms, wry sense of hu- tive quarters of negative growth. 5.7 percent (a figure many consider to speak louder than their intentions. mor and loving devotion to his dog, Claire Krebs is a Hanszen senior and Although the country did not fall be full employment). except 1 doubt your grandfather co-leader of the Engineers Without can break up boulders with a barra victim to even one quarter of such On its face, the minimum wage Caroline May is a Will Rice Borders project in El Salvador. before breakfast. His son Juan Car- anemic figures, Americans did feel sounds like a benevolent policy, College senior. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 4 NEWS ADVERTISEMENT

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M TAM INTERNATIONAL Inflatable and Swellable Packers FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 5 Common reading author Mortenson addresses the importance of education in fighting global terrorism

BY KERN VIJAYVARGIYA Mortenson started his address by FOR THE THRESHER congratulating Rice University for its M": '• legacy of community service. He cited Providing education in poor coun- the fact that Teach for America is cur- tries is possible for just $2 a day, Greg rently employs the largest percentage Mortenson, author of Three Cups of of Rice graduates. Tea, said this week to a crowd includ- "I don't think there are many ing over 500 freshmen. The bestselling other universities in the country that author of this year's common reading have that percentage of students go- spoke in the Rice Memorial Center's ing out and making a difference," Grand Hall Tuesday. The speech was Mortenson said. part of a series of common reading After congratulating the Rice fresh- events that will include a film series, men on their matriculation, Morten- "Beyond Belief," Sept. 24 in the Rice son began to describe his life's work, Media Center. emphasizing the magnitude of under- enrollment in schools around the 44 world. He said 140 million children are denied the opportunity to have an education, which would cost $2 per I don't think there are month per child. many other universi- "Unfortunately, that's not really happening," Mortenson said. "Every ties in the country single child on this planet should have the right and privilege to have that have that per- is centage of students an education." In his travels, Mortenson said he going out and making found the desire for education to be a Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, speaks to students Tuesday in the RMC's Grand Hall, Morten- a difference. common concern. son's speech emphasized the importance of education in the fight for world peace. "What most women tell me are two Greg Mortenson things," Mortenson said. "One, we^ Author Three Cups of Tea don't want our babies to die. Two, we want our children to go to school." "We can drop bombs, build roads, international success stories. For ex- into it," Gray said. "Once he got into n Mortenson said he is passionate put in electricity, but if girls aren't ample, a 12-year-old from California the meat of the speech, it was really about education in order to leave a educated, then society won't change," raised $54,ooo"last year to set up 15 good. It was cool to see how what we legacy of peace. Educating girls can Mortenson said. soccer fields in Johannesburg, South had read in the book was brought to Mortenson serves as the direc- reduce infant mortality and prevent Mortenson also presented a six- Africa. An 11-year-old from Florida set life. You could really see his passion." tor of the nonprofit Central Asia In- a population explosion, he said. He minute DVD, "Pennies for Peace," up a non-profit organization called After the speech, Mortenson stitute, which supports 64 schools, provided the example of Bangladesh, narrated by his 11-year-old daughter, the Red Wagon Foundation and raised stayed to sign personal copies of over 520 teachers and 25,000 stu- where population growth has halted as Amira Mortenson. "Pennies for Peace" $260,000 last year to help children Three Cups of Tea. He said he would dents in Pakistan and Afghanistan. female literacy has tripled since 1970. is a Central Asia Institute project that who have trouble reading. try to return to Rice Nov. 21, the Friday Three Cups of Tea, a New York Times On the other hand, Mortenson said the collects pennies as donations. Chris Gray, a Martel College fresh- before Thanksgiving Recess. Bestseller that won numerous non- population of Pakistan, where the Tali- '"Pennies for Peace' has inspired man, said that the speech began slow- "I would love to come back and fiction awards, chronicles Morten- ban and other groups have destroyed hundreds of kids to do a lot of things ly but he enjoyed it as a whole. talk with students and discuss these son's efforts to build schools for girls 480 girls' schools, is projected to dou- on their own," Mortenson said. "At first, there were a lot of thank issues," he said. in these countries. ble in the next twenty-seven years. Mortenson mentioned several you's, and it didn't seem like he was Kevin Bush contributed to this article. %>

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JOCELYN WRIGHT which Chief Justice William Rehn- it a combination of other things?" with very severely," Leebron said. that people drank more frequently be- THRESHER STAFF quist said the use of highway funds Leebron said. "We wouldn't want to "We try to do that now, but as part cause alcohol was readily available, as an incentive to raise the drinking make a policy decision to raise injury of the educational process, we could but they did so with less intensity. As the federal law that has set age is a pressure on - not a regula- and fatality rates, but it might be the more effectively convey that drinking "The fridge was rarely out of the drinking age at 21 comes up for tion of - the states and that therefore greater enforcement of drunken-driv- games, initiation ceremonies, drunk beer," Cox said. "But it was one or review next year, college and uni- the law did not violate the 10th or ing laws that led to the reduction." driving and using alcohol as an ex- two beers after homework instead of versity presidents and chancellors 21st Amendments. Brown College Master Steven Cox cuse are things we are extremely in- half a dozen on a Friday." from across the country have come The Amethyst Initiative, which said while he was sympathetic to tolerant of." Rice alumnus Mark Godard (Sid l)) together to sign the Amethyst Initia- is run by the nonprofit organization MADD's position and felt that they '07) said the current policies have tive - begun in July - which advo- Choose Responsibly, states that the ought to have a voice at the table, he a contributed to more binge drinking. cates an informed and unimpeded current policy infantilizes adults felt that the current prohibitionist at- "When you turn 21, the social in- debate to see if the current policy is ages 18 through 20 and that it has not titude was not working. centives to drink don't change dras- working. The initiative, so named made a significant portion of under- "I don't see the current system as Did the higher age tically; however, being able to drink because of the ancient Greek myth age drinkers change their behavior. the best solution," Cox said. "What's contribute to a re- legally in public certainly reduces the that amethyst would ward off the ef- It also states that the illegality of the right compromise? I'm not sure, incentive to take shots in your closet- © fects of drunkenness, states that the drinking for adults under 21 both ex- but I'm much happier putting limits duction in fatalities like dorm room before heading to pub current law has created a culture of acerbates binge drinking and pushes on automobile use than on the con- - because that's what or a football game," Godard said. "I binge-drinking often conducted in the behavior behind closed doors sumption of alcohol." the statistics say - or saw significantly more keg-stands, secret that endangers student health and off-campus, which makes it Baker College sophomore Mina Everclear shots and other potentially and safety. The initiative currently more dangerous. Fitzpatrick said she had a hard time was it a combina- irresponsible forms of alcohol use has over 120 signatories, including The Amethyst Initiative has been understanding the huge time gap be- tion of other things?" when my only exposure to drinking presidents of some of Rice's peer in- opposed by several groups, including tween when students could drive and was at private, predominantly under- |S) | stitutions, such as Duke University Mothers Against Drunk Driving. In a when they could drink. Leebron said. "We age parties, than I do now at 23." and Dartmouth University. MADD press release last month, Na- "Maybe we should support public wouldn't want to Morris, who was at Rice when the Although President David Lee- tional President Laura Dean Mooney transportation and raise the driving make a policy deci- drinking age changed, said he didn't bron said he was in favor of a debate said lowering the drinking age will age," Fitzpatrick said. "People are think the drinking culture at Rice about the merits of the current drink- lead to more drunk driving. The In- less likely to violate that because of sion to raise injury changed much after the law went into ing age, he said he did not sign the surance Institute for Highway Safety, the monetary risks involved." and fatality rates, but effect, however. Amethyst Initiative because he felt the American Medical Association, Leebron said he found the drink- "I don't think it changed anything |))| it was advocating that the drinking the National Transportation Safety ing age of 21 to be problematic, espe- it might be the greater other than driving drinking under- age should be lowered to 18. Leebron Board and the Governors Highway cially in a university setting. enforcement of drunk- ground," Morris said. "The elaborate said he needed more research and Safety Association are some of the "I think the 21-year-old drinking en-driving laws that system of private and public parties information before he could advo- organizations that have joined MADD age prevents our ability to carry out evolved out of this. Private parties are cate that position. in criticizing the Amethyst Initiative. our educational function," Leebron led to the reduction.. supposed to be following the same "I think it's good to have a policy Hanszen College Master Wes said. "We can't engage in a dialogue rules as public parties, but they prob- David Leebron debate and revisit the issue to see if Morris said the Amethyst Initiative on how to drink responsibly. It's like ably don't." President it's working or not, especially since brought up two issues that were Prohibition. Instead, we have to fo- Leebron said while Rice took these the United States has a somewhat closely related but were not the same cus on the underage use of alcohol to measures to keep its students safe, he unusual policy," Leebron said. "This and therefore did not have the same be unacceptable." feels students are adults and should puts on us the burden to see if [the solution: drinking in excess and driv- Wiess College Master Mike Gustin be treated as such. drinking age of 21) is working and to ing while intoxicated. said the main problem with the cur- "[Students] live in a free and that degree 1 support it. Universities "It's a mistake to collapse one into rent situation was the hypocrisy, both Leebron said he remembered that democratic society," Leebron said. are a place of inquiry." the other," Morris said. at Rice and nationwide. when he was an undergraduate stu- "We're not spying on our students to The drinking age was raised from Morris said drunken driving al- "There's a wink-wink attitude," dent at Harvard University, which see what they're doing in their room 18 to 21 by the National Minimum ready has a solution, which is that Gustin said. "The idea behind the had a residential college system, he or behind closed doors. We must treat Drinking Age Act in 1984, which it is illegal. He said the current laws [Amethyst] initiative is to create an would go over to the master's house them like adults. We cannot allow docked 10 percent of the annual fund- should be enforced more rigorously. honest, open environment to deal and have sherry. them to drink under 21, but we must ing for a state's federal highways if it Leebron said that since the drink- with issues of subterranean alcohol "It wasn't a separate student cul- trust them to behave properly and to did not enforce 21 as the minimum ing age was raised at the same time consumption." ture," Leebron said. "Most people know that any illegal behavior is un- age for purchasing and publicly pos- that much stricter enforcement of Leebron said that if the drinking drank little and drank responsibly, lawful and carries certain risks." sessing alcoholic beverages. The drunken driving laws was enforced, age were lower, the administration but [current legislation] makes it Gustin said he felt the Alcohol constitutionality of the law was chal- it is difficult to gauge whether the Na- would be able to engage more can- hard to engage in such conversations Policy at Rice was a good system. lenged in 1987 in the Supreme Court tional Minimum Drinking Age Act re- didly with students about drinking. because I cannot say it's OK to drink "It creates a more trusting envi- case South Dakota v. Dole, in which ally was responsible for the reduction "We could set a good example a little and responsibly. You cannot ronment where administrators aren't the state of South Dakota claimed the in drunken driving. of reasonable drinking for students drink at all [if you're underage], and police," Gustin said. "Rice is protec- policy violated the 21st Amendment. "Did the higher age contribute to and show them how to be respon- that's the official position." tive of the environment at the heart of The constitutionality of the law, how- a reduction in fatalities - because sible, while making it very clear that Cox said his experience in college, the college system. We each respect ever, was upheld in a 7-2 decision, in "that's what the statistics say - or was irresponsible drinking will be dealt when drinking at 18 was legal, was each other's privacy and turf." FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS

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0) Wiess senior Jeremy Caves said as something to do to get drunk." the alcohol policy, which separates Cox said in his family, of Northern Emergency Medical Services and the European heritage, alcohol was seen Rice University Police Department, as part of a cultural awakening. keeps Rice students much safer than "Maybe I'm being overly romantic, those at public schools. but in my mind there is a powerful Vou just fell for a Phishing email and got "My friends at public universi- awakening with anything that makes 0) ties have this big dilemma," Caves you eat food more slowly," Cox said. scammed! said. "They can get in trouble and "Food and alcohol go hand in hand. save their friend by calling the po- I'm not able to candidly express this lice if they're drunk, or they can stay to anyone except seniors, and then out of trouble and hope their friend it's often too late for them. They've is okay." been drinking coke for too long to ap- Leebron said the debate was also preciate the power of beer and wine 0) complicated by the fact that only 46 with food." What!? percent of 18 and 19 year-olds are in Wiess junior Erin Waller said the college, and that even fewer are on drinking age might be a situation in Someone stole my residential college campuses. which the United States could benefit "You can't separate people in col- by studying Europe's policies. PASSWORDS? lege from what goes on outside col- "It works in Europe to have a low- lege," Leebron said. "What's right for er drinking age because there's not as l)) us may not be right for everyone." much of a breakaway moment where Leebron said the discussion people go binge drinking or drunk should not limit itself to the idea that driving so I guess in that way I think Now a hacker there are only two solutions: a drink- it's kind of good," Waller said. ing age of 18 or 21. Wiess sophomore Peter Hoagland is sending "Is 18 the right number, or is it said that it was misleading to com- 21?" Leebron said. "Is 19 the right pare the United States and Europe. m age? Is 20 right? There's nothing "I don't think you can compare spam from your magic about 21." what we have here to Europe be- Fitzpatrick said she felt Rice cause in Europe everything's so account. would benefit from opening up a de- close together," Hoagland said. "Not bate on the current drinking age. so many people drive to get to the "I really believe the situation pub, so drunk driving isn't as much would improve if we lowered the of a problem. Here, things are more m drinking age back," Fitzpatrick said. spread out so you usually will have "Having a family who's very open to drive somewhere if you're going with having a glass of wine at dinner to drink publicly unless you're on a has allowed me to view drinking not college campus." (f you fall for a scam, AMETHYST INITIATIVE SIGNINGS contact your SCC or the Help Desk immediately Presidents of a few notable universities have already signed in favor to reset your password: of the Amethyst Initiative: • 713.348.helP f4357J or • Colgate University • Occidental College [email protected]

• Dartmouth College • Ohio State University

• Duke University • Pomona College

• lohns Hopkins University • Santa Clara University

• Middlebury College • Smith College Don't give UP your password to anyone.

• Millsaps College • Washington and Lee Qricl FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 8ncnft)CU/Cj THE RICE THRESHER

OLUNCH FACULTY FROM PAGE 1 The following were noted at the most recent meeting of the Faculty Senate on Sept. 3,2008. p, ^ * representative Laura Barg-Walkow and if i Residential Dining Manager Olivia Wal- The Faculty Senate met Wednesday. The following were discussed: dron to work out the financial details and timing for the future. • Jesse E. Jones School of Management Duane Windsor was an- Barg-Walkow said the program will nounced as the new Deputy Speaker for the Faculty Senate. either be weekly or bi-weekly. "Our main goal is to keep the pro- • The senate approved the Academic Calendar for 2010-2011. gram accessible and low cost, and hopefully free for students," Barg- • Dean of Undergraduates Robin Forman said the Committee on the Hanszen College senior Beatrice Rabkin Walkow said. Rice Undergraduate Program would be holding meetings about talks to President David Leebron during Barg-Walkow said the program has so far been met with a positive response curriculum reform. his office hour Wednesday. from students. • vice Presidentfor Resource Development DarrowZiedenstein gave an update on the faculty philanthropy campaign, which started in a ARE YOU A MOTIVATED June. He said it had raised $460 million from trustees, alumni and We even have [for- other sources and that he hoped to hit their goal of $500 million LEADER LOOKING TO MAKE A by Nov. 6. Ziedenstein said the Centennial Campaign would start merly off-campus] Nov. 6, with two additional launch events that night. He said their DIFFERENCE OVER SPRING students saying they goal was to reach $1 billion. He also announced a second cam- wished they had a paign that would include other universities Nov. 3-4. BREAK? similar program when • Three projects from last year will continue this year: Athletics Ad- they were off-campus missions, chaired by Earth Science Professor Dale Sawyer; Non Apply to be an Alternative Spring Break because it... facili- Tenure Track Faculty, chaired by Senior Lecturer for the Center for tates on- and off-cam- the Study of Languages Gautami Shah; and Faculty Priorities and Site Leader! the Admissions Process, co-chaired by English Professor Meredith pus interaction. Skura and Professor of Bassoon Benjamin Kamins. Laura Barg-Walkow • Select the location Wiess College 'io • The Chandler Davidson Committee announced that the Davidson • Learn about your host agency Athletic Report is available at the library. • Choose the participants 99 • Arrange the work project • Provost Eugene Levy said he was working on a new approach to sabbatical leave-taking. • Plan community involvement "Most people think it's a great thing," Barg-Walkow said. "We even • Have a great time! • The updating of the Faculty Handbook is also underway. have [formerly off-campus] students saying they wished they had a similar • The wording of a Senate voting policy is being worked on. Applications for Site Leaders are due by 5:00 pm on program when they were off-campus because it helps bring off-campus • A report on Faculty Compensation is underway, as this issue has Friday, September 12 and are available on the students into the commons and not been addressed in recent years. Community Involvement Center's web site facilitates on- and off- campus stu- dent interaction." • Forman and Jones School Professor Gerry Sanders said that a (http://www.rice.edu/service) Barg-Walkow said she is open to students' suggestions for the program. working group to look at whether plagiarism and cheating are on For more information, please contact Mac "We're trying to get a grilling ma- the rise might be put together in the future. chine for paninis and grilled cheese Griswold ([email protected]) and someone suggested we have Ra- • The scheduling of extracurricular activities during finals week was men one day," Barg-Walkow said. discussed. * • Improving communication between the Senate and other univer- sity committees and undergraduate students was discussed. ft

"REMARKS BY THE HONORABLE MADELEINE K. ALBRIGHT" • Bioengineering Professor Rebekah Drezek said Rice's Policy on Amorous Relations should be reviewed. Drezek suggested the policy be worded simpler. Holocaust Museum Houston • Speaker and French Studies Professor Deborah Harter said the Senate must remember to keep sexual harassment and amorous cordially invites you to relations as separate issues.

• A committee made up of Drezek, Bioengineering Professor Rob The Lester and Sue Smith Distinguished Lecture Series Raphael and Chemistry Professor Matteo Pasquali was founded to review the policy and tweak the language.

"REMARKS BY THE HONORABLE MADELEINE K. ALBRIGHT" • The Senate will review its statement on Type II Interdisciplinary minors. Madeleine K. Albright, former United States Secretary of State, 1997-2001 • Computer Science Professor Moshe Vardi suggested the Senate form a working group on the Research Repository at Rice. The #1 • repository provides a formal way for research Rice receives from other universities and the government to be available to the pub- lic in accordance with a new law.

• Electrical and Computational Engineering Professor James Young, Thursday, September 11, 2008 Political Science Professor Randolph Stevenson, Anthropology Professor Susan Mcintosh, History Professor Edward Cox and m % Shah said the Senate should form a committee on supporting, 7:30 p.m. developing and evaluating teaching at Rice.

• Young said the use of the course evaluations needed to be exam- Morris Cultural Arts Center ined more closely. Houston Baptist University 7502 Fondren Road • President David Leebron said Rice had an strange methodology of giving teaching awards. Houston, Texas 77074 * Ecology and Evolutionary Biology Professor Evan Siemann, Math- ematics Professor John Hempel, Physics and Astronomy Professor Thomas Killian, Cox and Windsor proposed a review of the Honor Council System. Many cases do not go to the Honor cpuncil, Sie- mann said.

m Harter said Honor Council students last year said they were so FREE ADMISSION. ADVANCE RESERVATIONS REQUIRED overworked that the system was almost broken. Visit www.hmh.org/register.asp to register online. « Stevenson said he was not sure the current system was* working For information, e-mail [email protected] and suggested graduate students be included in the process.

• Forman said with the planned 30 percent population increase, the faculty should be a part of Honor Council proceedings. Morgan Family Center HOLOCAUST MUSEUM HOUSTON 5401 Caroline Street • Houston, Texas 77004 STARTING HERE. The next Faculty Senate will be Wednesday, Oct. 8 in the Founder's A. 713-942-8000 • Free Admission Always Room of Lovett Hall. Monday-Friday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. • Saturday A Sunday Noon-5 p.m. www.hmh.org FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 9

NEWS IN BRIEF K9 WEBMAIL RUPD POLICE BLOTTER FROM PAGE 1 The following items were reported to the Rice Univer- sity Police Department for the period Aug. 29 - Sept. 3. Physics professor Systems support years are kind of like dog years." Ribbeck estimates the old hardware RESIDENTIAL COLLEGES Mutchler dies specialist Warren might have been from 1999 or 2000. Sid Richardson College Aug. 30 Bike theft For most students, the only change Physics and astronomy profes- passes away to their Webmail is a more efficient Sid Richardson College Aug. 31 Bike theft sor Gordon Mutchler, 70, died Aug. system. Ribbeck said Webmail's ba- Wiess College Aug. 31 Bike theft Administrative Systems User 15 of a heart attack. sic functions remain the same, but Sid Richardson College Sept. 1 Wallet stolen Support Specialist Ernest War- Mutchler worked at Rice almost the page now has a new skin. All old ren died Aug. 27 of pneumonia, 40 years. He was highly respected e-mails, which were stored on an un- a complication of his heart sur- ACADEMIC BUILDINGS and well liked among hiscolleagues, modified piece of hardware, are still gery. He had worked at Rice since Fondren Library Sept. 1 Bike theft Physics and Astronomy Department intact. However, a handful of people June 1989. Chair Barry Dunning said. still using the old e-mail client will Director of Infrastructure Support PARKING LOTS Aug. 29 Criminal mischief: spare tire now be forced to switch over to the and Production Management Renae Greenbriar Lot slashed, windshield cracked main system. Scott worked with Warren for 18 Ribbeck said these changes have years. She said Warren's funeral ser- resulted in positive responses from OTHER LOCATIONS vice was well-attended, estimating a students so far. Rice Stadium Aug. 29 Student had to be escorted from turnout of several hundred. the stadium due to profane lan- guage and misconduct. JUI OPROVOST FROM PAGE 1 proposals, equipment needs, dealing with federal regulations governing research and communication tools Physics professor Gordon to find scholars interested in similar fields of work. Mutchler "Because of her biomedical back- ground and her experience in the "Everyone liked him," Dun- medical sciences, she has a lot of ning said. "He was always willing connections and a lot of understand- to help." Kaplan's Secrets ing of what they're doing in the Texas Mutchler's good-natured per- Medical Center," Coleman said. "By sonality was evident in his sense Administrative Systems User her nature, she's extraordinarily en- of humor, Dunning said. He said Support Specialist Ernest ergetic and collaborative, and those of LSAT & NIC AT Mutchler was quick to make a witty Warren traits coupled with her scientific quip and was unafraid to poke fun credibility have enabled her to build at himself. Preparation Scott said Warren will be missed really strong collaborations at the "He could laugh at himself and because of his upbeat attitude. University of Delaware. We are look- recognize his own foibles," Dun- "He was well-liked with his ing forward to her putting her sub- You'll gain valuable, score-raising insights into: ning said. teammates," Scott said. "He al- stantial skill to work here at Rice in a Mutchler was also down to earth • The underlying structure of the exam and what makes it difficult ways had a smile and a kind word similar way." as a professor and recognized that • Test-taking strategies that can immediately raise your score for everyone." Born in Galveston, Texas, Farach- everyone made mistakes, Dunning • How to structure your test preparation for maximum effectiveness Warren, who was a certified pilot Carson grew up in Houston and said. He said Mutchler was a dedi- and an armed forces veteran, was received her Ph.D. in biochemistry cated teacher and mentor. These FREE events wilt be held on: also a father and grandfather. The from the Medical College of Virginia Most recently, Mutchler trught proud Texan and family man also en- at Virginia Commonwealth Univer- Physics 125/126, the physics course th joyed the company of his dogs, nota- sity in 1982. She has worked at the LSAT Secrets I Wednesday. September 10 for pre-medical students. Also a re- bly his American Boxers, Scott said. University of Texas M.D. Anderson th searcher in nuclear medium energy MCAT Secrets I Thursday, September 11 "They were like children to him," Cancer Center and has taught at the physics, Mutchler had worked at Scott said. University of Texas' Health Science 6:00 PM the Jefferson National Accelerator Warren worked in back-end Center. She left Houston for Newark, Facility in Virginia. check processing. Anyone who has Del., in 1998 and looks forward to Rice will hold a reception in received a Rice check in the last 15 returning to Houston. Mutchler's honor Sept. 12 from 4:30 1-S00-KAP-TEST I kaptest.com years has been affected by his work, Her husband, Dan Carson, will p.m.-6 p.m. in Farnsworth Pavilion. Scott said. come to Rice next January as the -Sarah Rutledge -Sarah Rutledge new dean of the Wiess School of Natural Sciences.

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For additional information, please contact: Kristen Holzer: [email protected] FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 10 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER

STUDENT ASSOCIATION MINUTES The following were noted at the most recent meeting of the Student Association Sept. 1.

• President Matt Youn welcomed the SA back for the first meeting of the year.

• Youn, a Brown College senior, announced that the senior committee, the student activities fund and the president's programming fund are still looking for representatives. These applications can be found on the SA Web site, sa.rice.edu. Applications are due by 11:59 P*m. Thursday, Sept. 11 to the SA office or to Matt Youn at [email protected].

• Youn said the SA is looking into printing more True Blue shirts because of increased interest from students. He said the shirts will likely sell for $5 and will be distributed in Oct. or Nov.

• Academics Committee chair Jasdeep Mangat said the committee's first meeting will be next Monday from 12 p.m.-i p.m. in the Rice Memorial Center's Miner Lounge.

• Environmental Committee co-chair Sara Hartnett said the committee's first meeting will be Wednesday at 8 p.m.

• Student Life Committee co-chair Nicolas Feltman said their first meeting will be Tuesday.

• Dayal said the applications for New Student Representatives are due next Tuesday by 1:59 p.m. to students' college senators.

• Director of Technology J.D. Leonard announced that the SA marketplace, on the SA Web site, provides a way to buy and sell textbooks at reduced prices. The site now has over 750 textbook listings.

• Leonard, a Jones College senior, said he is looking for a replacement. He manages the listserv and Web site and at- tends SA board meetings. He said he plans to train the interested person over the course of the year before he graduates. Those interested in the position can reach him at [email protected].

• Youn asked for thoughts on last week's Sammy's Picnic in preparation for Rice's next home game, Saturday, Sept. 27, Above, The Shepherd School prepares against the University of North Texas. Boreded up for Hurricane Gustav last weekend. • Muscara, a Martel College sophomore, said the trashcans were provided by Housing and Dining just an hour before the picnic.

• Andrew Fischer, a Martel College sophomore, said he thought the competition encouraging individual college turn- out at the game was successful.

• Director of Elections Tim Faust said he disagreed because it pitted the colleges against each other rather than uniting the university at the game.

• Parliamentarian Christopher Warrington presented a motion for the Black Student Association's constitutional amendment.

• BSA co-President Chuck Franklin said the constitutional changes will reflect changes that consolidated the club. Franklin, a Wiess College senior, said these changes will make the regulations more broad and less detailed.

• The SA senate passed the motion.

• Lovett College sophomore Margaret Diddams announced that Rice's coal campaign's kickoff will be Wednesday, Sept. 17, at 8 p.m. in Sammy's Cafe.

• Leonard said the Rice Program Council calendar and lost-and-found database can also be found on the SA Web site. New regime The SA meets Monday for their first The SA will meet next Monday at 10 p.m. in the Farnsworth Pavilion. meeting of the year.

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BY FAHEEM AHMED director Zack Snyder (300), takes the FOR THE THRESHER story of this groundbreaking graphic novel to the big screen. Comic enthu- The problem with Hollywood is siasts have been looking forward to a that it's seasonal. Year after year, the movie adaptation for years, but only summer season sizzles the box office recent advances in computer graphic with action flicks that titillate the eye, technology have made this possible. but not the heart (The Dark Knight is a Watchmen takes place in an alternative lone exception). In the winter, movie 1985 universe where costumed vigilan- executives release emotional dramas tism has been put to a stop due to gov- that make the audience weep and help ernment crackdown. When an ex-su- the Oscar committee hand out golden perhero is murdered, the retired heroes statues. But what about the fall and don their costumes and launch their spring? These periods are what I like own investigation. The trailer is enough to call the "butt crust" season, marked to send goosebumps down your spine. by all the movies that are bound for the Release date: March 6,2009. $5 DVD aisle at Wal-Mart. These flicks 2) Terminator Salvation is the fourth feature actors who frequently appear installment of the classic Terminator se- on Lifetime, reveal their entire plots in ries. After Skynet has destroyed much one-minute trailers and cast Vin Diesel of the world in a nuclear holocaust, in the starring role. John Connor must lead the last ves- Unfortunately, we are currently tiges of human civilization in a battle In Defense of the Jonas Brothers knee-deep in these movies. Rather than against the villainous machines. There fork over $10 for the horrific opportu- has been a lot of skepticism about the t • or How I Learned to Stop Being Pretentious and Love the Music nity to sit through two hours of Anna film: This will be the first in the series Faris (Scary Movie series) in House without Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Bunny or Vin Diesel in Babylon A.D. (a it is directed by Joseph "McG" McGinty Nichol, whose limited credits include "Dude? You still listen to MGMT? ally listened to and a few classics, sellouts because of that popular- the awful Charlie's Angels. What sends Their EP was okay, but Oracular just to show that they're grounded. ity. That is another discussion. All this movie into the "awesome" category Spectacular seriously fell out of They m'ght mention Ella Fitzgerald I'm saying is that if you refuse to be is that it stars Christian Bale ( The Dark their usual shape-shifting psyche- or Johnny Cash, and the latter may open to anything outside of your Knight) as John Connor and that the * • delia. Now it's just MTV bullshit. indicate a secret love of country comfort zone — even if that comfort script is penned by the legendary James What's next, the freaking Jonas with a fear that it's too redneck. zone is Neutral Milk Hotel — you are Cameron (Aliens). Sounds fan-friggin- Brothers?" Thus the choice of a country singer definitively closed-minded. I don't tastic! Release date: May 22, 2009. Yes, actually. who has been deemed socially ac- care how much American Apparel ceptable, like Johnny Cash or even you v.aar. It won't change that. 3) Transformers: Revenge of the Fall- Willie Nelson. So, I treated this summer as a Hi, I'm Vin Diesel. I en is the sequel to the wildly popular I know all this because I've lived social experiment. An experiment Michael Bay cartoon reboot. Honestly, I on how heinous mainstream music look like a fat baby would be okay with two hours of Megan <9 kSL actually is. I would try to appreciate Fox bending over a steaming car engine (t mainstream music without writing on steroids. (admit it, you ladies loved that scene, it off as an ironic or sarcastic choice. too). While the battle for Earth has end- / JIHHk What if I listened to I trudged through Miley Cyrus, total rip-off of the stellar The Fifth Ele- ed, the battle for the universe has just Sarah Cook Rihanna, Chris Brown, Jordan ment), 1 have decided to preview of my begun. Starscream assumes the leader- * • all the stuff I wasn't Sparks — all of it. I found that most of it top seven most anticipated films for the ship of the Deceptions and returns to ')> • supposed to? All was not exactly my type of music. And upcoming year. Earth with a full arsenal. The Autobots, See, as a junior in college, I've O see JONAS, page 15 1) Watchmen, helmed by visionary Osee MOVIES, page 15 seen the last few years marked by the stuff that was what one might call a musical piss- ing contest. I realize that many mainstream and people consider a diverse taste in popular - and, by •» • music a gift; however, I come from the hipster city of Austin, Texas. the indie transitive This means being around lots of property, com- people who constantly say things like the quote above. Being cool in pletely worthless? college — scratch that, being cool in any part of your life — is deter- n i}) mined by guidelines dependent on what sort of people you choose to mm M be around. When in Austin, I fre- it. I've fallen down that dreaded quently find myself around the sorts hole of thinking of music not just of people who hang out at vegan as a form of escape, but also as a coffee shops and discuss whether way to impress and communicate or not math is a social construct de- with those around me. This sum- signed to maintain the class struc- mer, though, spending time in ture (not kidding). In this group, Houston away from the constantly being cool depends on how "origi- pressing and pulling music scene nal" you are and how in touch you of Austin, I had an epiphany: What M are with the underbelly of several if I listened to all the stuff I wasn't art movements, most notably mu- supposed to? All the stuff that was sic. Ironically, the trends and music mainstream and popular — and, by of these groups oftentimes feels as the indie transitive property, com- judgmental and stringent as those pletely worthless? We could now, of of any fraternity. course, get into the battle of wheth- You hear it all the time. In re- er one determines the other, wheth- Jeffrey Dean Morgan prepares to raise hell as The Comedian in Zack Snyder's Watchmen, to be released March 6. cord stores and coffee shops and on er bands like the Flaming Lips and street corners, people using the mu- the Postal Service sold out and got

iff SYMPHONY BLACK LIST SAMBA > Undergrads should snag a Those for whom every month subsidized ticket while they is Black History Month should If RSDS isn't enough for you, last, because Rice Night at BURN visit the MFAH at noon this try learning Samba - as well the Houston Symphony is # Saturday for the last showing as words like "batucada" and only a week away, on Friday, Also on Friday the 12th, the of The Black List: Volume One, "berimbau" - on Saturday Sept. 1*. Hosted by Passport Coen brothers' comedy Burn r Greenfield-Sanders' at the Brazilian Arti Founda- to Houston, it takes place After Reading opens at the THE I documentary filled with inter- tion's first Samba Night, 6-11 from 8-11 p.m. in Jones Hall. Angelika. Tickets are S7-S9 WEEKLY views of 22 African-American p.m. in the Theater District. If free tickets run out, you depending on the show time, VIPs. Admission is free, and Tickets are $5 and free for can purchase them start- but save some money for #1 SCENE the director's related photog- children unjder five. Bring your ing at $31, but we hope you popcorn with jalapenos. raphy is also on view. own sho£sT won't have to. Editors' picks for events ANGELIKA HOUSTON outside the hedges, both MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS JONES PLAZA JONES HALL 510 TEXAS AVENUE around ftice and in the 1001 BISSONNET STREET 601 LOUISIANA STREET 615 LOUISIANA STRIIET WWW.ANGELIKAFILM WWW.MFAH.ORG WWW. BRAZILIANARTS. ORG Houston area, for this week. WWW. HOUSTONSYMPHONY. ORG CiNTER.COM /ft) H FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER A&E 13 Rice Chorale commemorates Sept. 11 At 8 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 11, to the power of music to affect our subdued and relaxed. There are no to honor our nation's dead. be familiar with the music they hear the Rice Chorale will perform Ga- emotions, as well. Faure's Requiem violently rhythmic movements like Although the concert is express- (or even sing), but because of the briel Faure's Requiem in the Edythe gives us a particularly unique re- the "Confutatis" or "Dies Irae" from ly meant to honor victims of 9/11, power of music on a fundamental Bates Grand Organ Recital Hall in sponse to loss, providing us with a Mozart's Requiem. Although you it speaks to a greater truth: that level, we will all learn what Faure Alice Pratt Brown Hall (the Shep- wide palette of moods, wholly de- will surely feel awed by the sublim- you Hon't need to be educated or embedded in his Requiem: You can herd School of Music Building). signed to alleviate every part of a ity of Faure's harmonies, it is pos- trained to participate in and gain find beauty even in the darkest of grieving conscience. sible you could find the piece too from a great piece of art. Everyone times. Some of you may be wondering gentle. Faure, of course, meant for who hears and sings the Faure Re- why composers have such a fond- the piece to sound that way and quiem on Thursday will be moved Garrett Schumann is a junior at ness for Requiem Masses, why so said, "It is thus that I see death: as in some way. Most of them will not Hanszen College. many have been written and why a happy deliverance, an aspiration be musicians, most of them will not is so many are remembered as great towards happiness above, rather pieces. To start, the universality than as a painful experience." of death and the influence of the Everyone who can make it to the Garrett Schumann Catholic liturgy on Western music made the Requiem Mass a popular pick for composers throughout his- €4 This is the sixth year Tom Jaber tory. Even when a piece is not con- Coftfjtt, 7tjouAe. has led Rice University's only cho- nected to the Catholic Church, the Faure's Requiem ral group in a memorial concert gravity of the Mass's subject matter honoring those who died in the in- makes it an attractive and evoca- gives us a par- famous terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, tive topic for musical exploration. 2001. The first of these concerts, in In fact, two of my favorite Requiem ticularly unique 2002, was part of a worldwide event settings were not composed with response to loss, that coordinated the performance of the intent to uphold the Catholic Mozart's famous Requiem at the ex- tradition: The German Requiem by providing us with act time of the first aircraft's impact Johannes Brahms and Requiem by a wide palette of OPEN LATE into World Trade Center towers. In Gyorgy Ligeti. years since, the Chorale has pre- t • In a superficial sense, Faure's moods, wholly sented requiem settings by Brahms, Requiem is traditional. He sets most designed to Rutter and Durufle, among others. of the original Latin text (unlike From a humanistic perspective, Brahms, who decided on German) alleviate every these annual performances are a and uses an accessible musical beautiful demonstration of the Rice language, by modern standards part of a grieving community's compassion. Anyone (unlike Ligeti). Faure does alter the conscience. is welcome to join the Chorale, re- text slightly by omitting the Dies <9 I gardless of that person's affiliation Irae poem, one of the most famous with Rice or the Shepherd School. parts of the liturgy. The piece, on 99 Moreover, the musical presenta- the whole, sounds very French, and tions pay respect to the university's is full of lush sonorities whose dis- concert should, even if you aren't unfortunate familiarity with trag- tinct character comes from Faure's interested in the music and just edy. Dealing with death, whether extensive training in early church want to honor the victims of our na- that of a family member, friend music. He commonly draws on tion's last great tragedy. Hopefully, or stranger is an experience that the ecclesiastical modes, the tonal those who come to hear the Chorale binds all people together. The Re- foundation of music before keys on Sept. 11 will find themselves not quiem Masses presented by the Rice were invented, for interesting scalar only moved by the music, but proud Chorale are tributes not only to all figures and to decorate chords. of their colleagues and friends from whom we know who are dead, but My only criticism is that it is very Rice who make it a point each year

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O2008 Comcast All rights reserved "2008 Showtime Networks Inc SHOWTIME and related marks are registered trademarks of Sho time Networks Inc. a CBS Company from groups like The Rolling Stones (in pian) and John Malkovich (Con Air). imagination wizard Guillermo Del Toro One Man Show"), Jack Johnson (in Release date: Sept. 12,2008. (Pan's Labyrinth, Hellboy). Like a lot of ROM PAGE 12 "Love Bug"), Hellogoodbye (in "Pushin' • MOVIES FROM PAGE 12 6) G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. Holy shit. fanboys, 1 was disappointed when Peter Me Away"), Ben Folds (in "A Little Bit I'm not alone when I say that I've been Jackson (The Lord of the Rings: The Two while acts like Duffy and the Ting Tings Longer ) and even The Arctic Monkeys hoping for world peace, discover that waiting for this movie since I was five Towers) was not given the reins, prob- didn't feel guilty enough, I was deter- (in "Got Me Going Crazy"). The climac- Megatron's body has gone missing. years old. The movie tells the story of an ably due to his public spout with New mined to find something I loved despite tic .'creams in "BBGood" seem drawn Shia LaBeouf (Indiana Jones and the elite unit of special operatives and their Line Cinema. Del Toro, however, with feeling I should loathe it. from a raunchy Prince song. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) returns as quest to take down an evil organiza- his knack for creative monsters (can't Finally, I came upon a group of three These influences are still over- geeky Sam Witwicky, as does the afore- tion headed by a notorious illegal arms wait to see what he does with Smaug) brothers, grown in the Disney Laborato- shadowed at times by pop overtones, mentioned Megan Fox as ... I don't re- dealer. It stars Channing Tatum (Step and attention to vivid detail is an ex- ry, called the Jonas Brothers, who were namely simple rhymes (they rhyme member, but who the hell cares; she's Up), Sienna Miller (Factory Girl), Den- cellent substitute. In addition, Jackson rebelling against everything 1 thought a "be" with "me" with "be" again) and so hot. Release date: June 26,2009. nis Quaid (Smart People) and — wait and Fran Walsh (The Lord of the Rings: band had to be. I found them amazing. cheesy voiceovers, such as, "OMG, did 4) Quantum of Solace brings burly for it — Ray Park as Snake Eyes! Yeah, The Two Towers) are signed on as the you hear I'm dating a Jonas Brother? and badass Daniel Craig (Casino Roy- that dude who played Darth Maul, executive producers and writers, so it's It's so hot."). But they're danceable, ale) back to the screen as James Bond. the only redeeming highlight of those the best of both worlds! Ian McKellan 44 fun and multifaceted. The boys talk Seeking revenge for the death of his crappy Star Wars flicks (please suck (Stardust) and Andy Serkis (The Pres- about being liked just for their mon- loved one (sorry, but that last half- a nut, George Lucas). Release date: tige) have already promised to reprise For a rock star, ey, about fear after a diagnosis, about hour of Casino Royale was completely Aug. 7,2009. their iconic roles of Gandalf and Gol- unrequited love and about being superfluous and absurd), Bond tries to lum, while Del Toro and company are being overtly drawn to bitches and apologizing for stop an environmentalist from seizing still searching for Bilbo Baggins. James 44 sexual isn't ex- relationships they realize they won't control of the world's water supply. McAvoy (Atonement), anyone? He is the break off. They wrote all the songs While the film promises more action, perfect age, has the perfect accent and actly edgy. No, in themselves. When 1 was 16, 1 had a more gadgets and more Bond girls, it I'm not alone when is in the perfect position in his career to livejournal. I wasn't nearly that witty also promises more plot and character take on this monumental role. I'm call- our crazy world, with my angst and hormones. development. I am extremely pleased I say that I've been ing it right now. Release date: Dec. 2011 the Jonas boys' Which brings me the final reason with the choice of director Marc Forster, waiting for this and 2012. 1 love the Jonas Brothers. Because 1 who is responsible for excellent films Other movies to look forward to are clean-cut images want to. I want to like things because such as Kite Runner, Stranger than Fic- movie since I was the new Wolverine movie, the Star Trek and wholesome I can dance to them. Because they tion, Finding Neverland and Monster's five years old. reboot and the new Harry Potter film. I make me happy. Because music is just Ball. Release date: Nov. 14,2008. know you're disappointed I didn't give morals are, ironi- as much an escape from boredom as 5) Burn After Reading is directed you a glowing review of Babylon A.D. a way to change the world. Because by the Oscar-winning Coen brothers 9$ But hell, let me sum up the whole mov- cally, fresh and music should shatter closed-minded- (Fargo, No Country for Old Men). When ie for you: Hey, I'm Vin Diesel. I look like unexpected. ness and ideas of superiority, not bol- a computer disc storing the memoirs of 7) The Hobbit and Unnamed But a fat baby on steroids. I was awesome ster them. Because I want to piss off an ex-CIA agent falls into the hands of Awesome Sequel technically don't have in The Pacifier when I babysat kids, kids in skinny jeans who say "Pomo" two idiotic gym employees, they decide a release date or a concrete cast, but but you didn't see it because you w and "Meta." Because Joe Jonas can to sell it. This sounds hilarious already. they're gonna be so sensationally phe- have a social life. I used to break- borrow my Chi Iron any day. But to top it off, the cast stars Brad Pitt nomenal! The director of this prequel dance in the eighties; look me up on Each one of the boys wears a prom- (Fight Club), Frances McDormand (Miss to The Lord of the Rings, the greatest YouTube. EXPLOSION EXPLOSION. ise ring. A promise ring. Remember in Sarah Cook is a junior at Wiess Pettigrew Lives for a Day), George Cloo- cinematic trilogy of all time (Star Wars This movie sucks donkey butt. THE high school (or the movie Teeth) when College. ney (Michael Clayton), Tilda Swinton and Indiana Jones were ruined, but I am END. See, I just saved you ten bucks. that one kid wore a promise ring adver- (The Chronicles of Namia: Prince Cas- hopeful for the third Batman film), is tising his conservative commitment to abstinence and everyone thought it was sort of lame? Well, these days, rebels wear promise rings. For a rock star, be- ing overtly sexual isn't exactly edgy. El- vis crossed that bridge quite a few years ago. Nice try. No, in our crazy world, the Jonas boys' clean-cut images and wholesome morals are, ironically, fresh and unexpected. Come Worship with Us! Their clothes are classy and fun. Joe Jonas (the hot one) wore a nautical hat and stripes a la Chuck Bass for an entire West University Baptist Church invites you to worship, tour. Kevin (the oldest) wears tailored suits and tattered scarves as ties. Nick the study of God's Word, and fellowship. (the youngest, who dated Mi ley) wears low V-neck t-shirts with winged shoes. They are very careful about their ward- robe, making sure it looks like a mix of We have both contemporary and traditional Sunday worship services, as well as a classic throwbacks (Nick's curly coif is almost a copy of Jerry Lee Lewis') and college-level Bible study class that is attended by many Rice University students indie aesthetics (spiky flat-ironed hair, scarves and form-fitting skinny suits). and taught by Dr. Jim Tour. Free breakfast is always served in the class. The band knows their music, too. Their second album included three covers of the U.K. band Busted, which sounds like a fun mix of Bowling for We are located two miles directly west of campus at 6218 Auden between Soup and early Green Day. Check out University and Rice. Free round-trip shuttle service is provided each Sunday "Crashed the Wedding" and tell me it's not comedic gold. When asked what morning leaving at 8:15 AM and 9:15 AM on the loop in front of Rice s Allen band they would like to cover, Nick said, "I'd love to cover Johnny Cash... or Center. See www.wubc.org for more details, or call 713-668-2319. Elvis Costello ... or John Prine. They're great story tellers." If you've made it this far, you probably just laughed. Johnny Cash? Really? Ha! What right do the Contemporary Worship: 8:30 AM Jonas Brothers have? They'd butcher Johnny Cash. But Nick's comments Bible Study Class: 9:45 AM show how mature this band is trying to become. They're slowly growing out Traditional Worship: 11:()() AM of (heir Disney roots, which is a smart business move. I'hey really did come close to grow- ing out of them on their latest album, A Little Bit Longer. It shows influences

Oh my SOD! YES1 Thank god somebody can tell he's not human1 Um excuse me, Is he single? I was beginning to think the but is that guy next entire world was completely mm to you an ameoba \\vQf |j| wim9 oblivious to the obvious1 Single SlflHR PHD.in a mechanical Suit? \(i ^ m CELLED! Boosh

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Look, you ve got to keep this a secret though the general public might be Oh okay um also a bit disturbed about an enlarged ameoba going to college alongside us S7 FRIDA SPORTS 16 Football begins play with win over SMU by Nathan Bledsoe advantage every week but continu- THRESHER STAFF ing to take away the football should remain a major focus. # After dismantling Southern Meth- In terms of match-ups, Memphis's odist University for the third year biggest advantage comes in the size in a row, the Owls will look to jump disparity between their tall receiving out to a quick 2-0 conference start corps and the Owls' relatively short when they face the University of secondary. SMU's run-and-shoot of- Memphis at 7 p.m. tomorrow night fense is based on very quick passes T" in Tennessee. from the quarterback, and thus the % Rice should have the upper hand Rice defense had trouble forcing in terms of momentum: While the pressure. That pattern must change Owls are coming off a solid victory, when Memphis drops back to pass. Memphis is trying to bounce back The Tigers run a more conventional N1 it's I from a 41-24 loss to the University offense, with under-center and two- plaj of Mississippi. back formations. Thus, pressuring sioif The biggest stat the Owls have to the quarterback is imperative to suc- perl pay attention to this week is turn- cess against the passing game. so?| overs. Last week Rice dominated that Offensively, when playing against to 1 column, forcing five turnovers from most Conference USA foes, the sim- wh| SMU which resulted in 28 points. ply must not beat themselves. Con- Memphis, on the other hand, found tinuing to run the ball the way they the itself on the short end of the turnover did against the Mustangs would be sa\| stick last week, giving the ball away welcome, but not wholly necessary. sell twice. To remain successful, the Owls Rice does not have to rely on the run- > V /. if Rel must continue to force turnovers ning game thanks to the emergence lllesiF' \ ! while protecting the football them- of sophomore wide receiver Patrick % - yej selves. With 30-50 point-total games Randolph, junior wide receiver Corb- eel Freshman outside linebacker Keshawn Carrington helps senior defensive back Brandon King and senior lineback- common in modern football, turn- in Smiter, junior wide receiver To- overs are the biggest defensive key to ren Dixon and sophomore tight end er Brian Raines tackle a Mustang runner in the Owls' 56-27 victory last week while sophomore defensive back sustained success. The Owls cannot James Casey to supplement senior Chris Jones looks on. Rice hopes to extend their win streak by beating the University of Memphis on Saturday. expect to maintain a large turnover Osee SMU, page 21 Volleyball opens with auspicious weekend

by Natalie Clericuzio petitive, with the scoring bouncing back and forth between the squads early. However, Rice consistently re- With hurricane Gustav nowhere bounded when pushed, often scoring to be seen in the West University three or more points in response to area last weekend, the volleyball any UTSA point, and the Roadrun- team stole a sizable share of the lime- ners faded as the match went on. The light. The Owls went home Friday third and final game followed in the night with two convincing wins over same vein, with the Owls consistently opening-day opponents University of making longer scoring rotations than Louisiana-Lafayette and University of the Roadrunners. Sophomore middle Texas-San Antonio, sweeping both blocker Caroline Gill, returning from home matches by 3-0 scores. Unfor- injury, made two late-game kills to tunately, Rice's fortune dimmed with help the Owls win the third game and Saturday's 3-0 loss to the Univer- the match. sity of Michigan, but the squad re- Later on Friday evening Rice faced turned to center-stage Tuesday with Louisiana-Lafayette. The Owls quick- a four-game win at Sam Houston ly jumped to a 15-6 lead in the first State University. game with the same kind of scoring This weekend, the Owls were pressure they had displayed earlier scheduled to travel to the Louisiana in Ihe day, and they had no trouble State University Tiger Classic in Ba- holding on for the win. ton Rouge, Louis., but the tourna- The Ragin Cajuns put up a bigger ment was canceled after Gustav made fight in the second game, with the landfall close by. The team will play two teams staying neck and neck up in the Baylor Classic at Waco, Texas, to an 8-8 knot. However, a quick 11-3 instead, squaring oft with host Baylor run gave the Owls a 19-11 lead. Junior University, Weber State University middle blocker Natalie Bogan scored and, once again, UTSA. six of those eleven points. Louisiana- The Owls were successful from Lafayette could not recover, and Hol- the start of Friday morning's match derness punctuated the win with a against UTSA, jumping out to leads final kill. early in each game and defeating the Five early hitting errors by the off-balance Roadrunners 25-13, 25-15 Ragin' Cajuns helped the Owls to a and 25-18. The team's strong play from speedy 7-1 lead in the final game, the start was a welcome sight for fans which Rice easily extended to 17-/4. who frequented Fox Gym last season: I he match all but over, Rice overpow- The intensity from the opening serve ered Louisana's comeback attempts was a contrast to the spotty, inconsis- and took the match 3-0. tent play Rice generally opened with Saturday's match against 25th last year. ranked University of Michigan After UTSA scored the first point of brought the Owls down to earth. Even the match, Rice went on a five-point though Rice fans packed the bleach- run personally orchestrated by senior ers at Fox Gym, their support was not outside hitter Jessica Holderness. The enough to carry the Owls past the two teams traded points for the rest stiff competition. of the first game until the score read Despite multiple lead changes lAURflt SCMOEFFIEH/THRESHSR 18-12 in Rice's favor. The Owls then early in the first game, Michigan quickly scored the final seven points, pulled ahead to win 25-16. Rice Junior outside hitter Jennifer McClean goes up for a kill during the Owls' three-game sweep of Louisiana- which included two late kills from se- played the Wolverines more closely in Lafayette last Friday. Rice defeated UT-San Antonio and Louisiana-Lafayette to start the season 2-0 before falling to nior outside hitter Karyn Morgan, to the match's second game, even tying seal the game. No. 25 University of Michigan on Saturday. The Owls rebounded with a win against Sam Houston Tuesday. the score at 24-all late in the contest. The second game was more com- O see SWEEPS, page 20 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 17

WHERE THRESHER SPORTS EDITORS ARE TOD LAZY TO NOT RIP

OR, HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE LIGHTER SIDE OF SPORTS » NFL season predictions: this is the ultimate showdown

Dylan Farmer VS. Abbie Ryan Hanszen Senior Hanszen Senior NFC East: AFC East: fl had a long intro, but Dylan deleted it for space reasons. He also deleted some teams because I'm going to start with this one, because First things first: Patriots coach Bill Belichick he needed more ad space.] So, without further ado or preamble, here are my picks for the 2008 NFL it's the easiest. What's the best team on the opens the season by staging a coup and assum- season and my legitimate reasons for choosing them. planet? The Dallas Cowboys. Who wins the divi- ing de facto power in the commissioner's of- Baltimore Ravens - 10-6 Chicago Bears -12-4 sion? The Dallas Cowboys. Who wins the Su- fice. His first mandate? All coaches must wear They won a Superbowl once. I totally remem- Da Bearrrs. I always liked those sketches per Bowl? The Dallas Cowboys. Why do I think sleeveless sweatshirts. ber that. Or maybe they just played in one. I on SNL. And I'd really like for the SuperBowl so? Because I'm a crazy homer fan who refuses Also, Brett Farve's first few weeks in New don't know; they were good when I was like 13. shuffle to make a comeback. It's not any weirder to believe anything else. It's Page 2.5. I can say York seem promising, and he plays with a re- Cincinnati Bengals -12-4 looking than the cupid shuffle. what I want. newed spirit. Eventually, though, the Madden I think 'Ocho Cinco' is the best nickname last Detroit Lions - 8-8 The Giants, Redskins and Eagles round out curse he thought he escaped by wearing a new name ever. When I turned 8 my mom took me to a Rang- the doghouse in no particular order. All 1 can jersey catches up to him, and he ages mysteri- Cleveland Browns - 13-3 ers baseball game against the Detroit Tigers. I say for sure is that Donovan McNabb hurts him- ously quickly. Midway though the season, with I freakin love Ohio and have lots of family got on the JumboTron at that game and have self, Eli Manning chokes in the clutch, and the a long, white beard and cane in hand, he sadly there and will always root for the Ohio teams had pretty fond memories of Detroit ever since. Redskins... I don't know - somehow (like every but definitively announces his retirement. See (unless they're playing Pittsburgh) and I'm Green Bay Packers - 6-10 year) they manage to blow it without any dis- you next year, Brett! pretty sure no team in Ohio has won anything in I've heard stories of what people do when cernable explanation. In Buffalo, it snows a lot. a long time (YOU'RE KILLING ME, OSU) so I'm the Packers lose. Wisconsin sounds like a sad, In Miami, Bill Parcells restrains himself un- thinking they're due for a good season. sad place. NFC North: til Week 8, when he dives from the owner's box Pittsburgh Steelers - 16-0 Minnesota Vikings -11-5 After realizing that the excitement of the down to the fierd, avoids security and referees My dad was born in Pittsburgh. I'm V" Norwegian so clearly I've gotta root Brett Farve summer teen reality show has al- with some shifty moves, and strangles terrible Houston Texans - 3-13 for the Vikings. ready provided the peak of fan interest in this awful struggling quarterback Chad Pennington. I think it may take another 83 years or so for Atlanta Falcons - 7-9 division for the year, NFL commissioner Roger This could be the end of the Tuna. the combined Reggie Bush-Vince Young curse Unless dogs are allowed. Give them 5 more Goodell decides that the contests between these to wear off. wins then. four teams should include live mascots along AFC North: Indianapolis Colts -14-2 Carolina Panthers - 6-10 Peyton does those funny commercials. I just Now I know there aren't Panthers in Car I- with the paid athletes. Despite initial protests by So you know those bottle caps 1 was talking love him. lina. That's just stupid. the players' union, popular support eventually about earlier, and how I mentioned that some of Jacksonville laguars - 5-11 New Orleans Saints -11-5 0 sides with the commish, because nobody in his them were defaced? Yeah, well, the Pittsburgh I don't even know where Jacksonville is. I just feel bad for them. right mind would turn down a chance to bring one was literally broken in half. I hate them, Tennessee, maybe? Do they even have jaguars Tampa Bay Buccaneers -1-15 0 back some intense gladiator-style combat. too; therefore, last place. in Tennessee? Oh snap. Just Wikipedia'd Jack- Next to the "Bills" this is my least favorite Unfortunately, the NFL has had enough Baltimore opens its season well, rattling off sonville: apparently it's in Florida. Who knew? mascot of them all. I think the whole pirate PETA problems in recent .years, so the teams three or four-straight wins, but everything falls Whatev I bet they'll suck anyway. thing is just sooo overdone. I mean, props for with non-human mascots are forced to com- apart when Ray Lewis takes the "shotgun" for- Tennessee Titans -12-4 not going with an animal I guess but a Bucca- promise. In the first Detroit-Chicago game, the mation sign seriously and tries to shoot some- I really like Classical Studies and so I like the neer is what you call a four year old at a birth- Cowardly Lion is completely overwhelmed by a one during a game. name 'Titans.' Yes this is really how I am mak- day party. Not a 3001b lineman. ® tag-team squad of Berenstain and Care Bears, Cleveland... Poor Cleveland. I'm rooting for ing these picks. Dallas Cowboys -14-2 with a steroid-abusing Smokey providing late- Brady Quinn to get off the bench, at least. Buffalo Bills - 0-16 And they will still find a way to screw it all game relief. Cincinnati wins by default? This is my least favorite mascot of all time. up in the first round of the playoffs. Damn you, In the end, the Viking wins. Miami Dolphins - 2-14 Jessica Simpson!! AFC West: Second on 'list of things that offend Ab- New York Giants -15-1 NFC West: Ever wondered what would happen if your bie' right after mascot choice is uniform color Eli Manning is absolutely precious. And he q When I was a kid, I managed to acquire a five-year-old's pee-wee team faced off against choice. Orange and light green?? Really?? gets to make those funny commercials with Pey- box of juice bottle caps dating from the 1970s. an actual NFL team? To see the experiment play New England Patriots -15-1 ton now. Too cute. Each cap displayed the name and logo of a par- out on national television, tune in to any Char- Haha I bet they blow it again. Washington Redskins - 0-16 ticular team in the NFL at the time, and they gers divisional match up! New York Jets - 3-13 I live with a Redskins fan. And I swear if I had belonged to my uncle when he was a kid. To make things fair, the commissioner's of- Brett Favre is a whiny bitch who still can't have to hear "Hail to the Redskins" even ONCE Most of them were in perfect condition, includ- fice decides that LaDanian Tomlinson should win in primetime, in Texas Stadium, or in any this semester, very bad things will happen. ing the priceless Dallas Cowboys cap, but a few start the season with a minus to touchdown year not called 1997. GIVE IT UP, MAN. YOU ARE San Fransisco.49ers -10-6 £ of the others had been defaced to varying de- handicap, which, of course, makes no differ- TOO OLD. Props on picking a number as a mascot. grees so my uncle could express his true feel- ence to Tomlinson. Seriously, his helmet visor ings for the represented team. The logo for the makes him look like a stormtrooper. Anyway, San Francisco '49ers, for example, had been as the season marches on, each other team furiously scratched out, and "CHEATERS" had tries a different tactic to attempt to get back in been scrawled under it in caps. Since the day I the divisional race. The Broncos bring back a found it, I've hated the V^ers. wheelchair-ridden John Elway, whose oxygen ^ Anyway, I still hate them fervently today, mask provides the boost he needs to make a ' and that hate is going to express itself when I triumphant return in mile-high Denver; the talk about the NFC West. Who finishes last? The Raiders' front office finally decides to suit up the gun-toting, armor-wearing, pike-wielding crazy V(9ers. There. I'm done. Now, I'm not going to lie — this division in fans from the font row; and the Chiefs... hand pretty terrible. Since St. Louis is pretty terrible the ball to Larry Johnson 60 times a game? at passing, running, kicking, and playing de- _ fense, Seattle wins by default. Also, the Hol- NFC South: ™ lywood celebrities hoping to see a Matt Leinart I liked Tampa Bay better when they had War- breakout year demand season-ticket refunds ren Sapp for entertainment. Now they have Jeff from Arizona, thus throwing the Cardinals into Garcia, and that guy is like 50 years old. In the a financial crisis and effectively ending them as middle of October, his arm falls off, and (great a franchise. Wow, that hurts. news!) Texas alum Chris Simms takes over! Curiously, the Bucs fall to last place soon after AFC South: Simms joins the starting lineup... ™ It's the same storyline every year... Will the Carolina realizes midway through the sea- Jags overtake the Colts and claim the division ti- son that they've been beating the dead Jake FREAKY FREAKY tle? Will Vince Young turn into an awesome NFL Delhomine-Steve Smith-Julius Peppers horse for quarterback and take the Titans to the playoffs? like a million years now. Timp for a makeover! Will the Texans win more than seven games? As part of an extended apologetic effort, I'll take choice e) No to all of the above. Peyton Atlanta offers to do "whatever PETA wants to Manning is invincible, the Texans aren't, and make things right." PFTA demands that Fal- % 1 still remember Vince's single-digit Wonderlic con players wear blindfolds and use seeing-eye score before his rookie season. The Jags have dogs for all of their games. Needless to say, the AMERICA'S #7 SANDWICH DELIVERY! a chance only if Maurice Jones Drew lights up Falcons don't make it very far. Shawne Merriman one more time, but no matter I don't have any jokes for the Saints... They'll 2401 W. HQLCDMBE BLVD. what, they do get the wild-card, though. win the division. 713.741.DBDO

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t #»v.w 5 tfviMvtn FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 18 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER D Don't ask, don't tell: An in-depth look at Rice scholarship athletes participating on powderpuff football teams between varsity players and coaches to increase athletes' interaction in the by Yan Digilov title "powderpuff" is at Rice, many Richard Solis, Brown powderpuff on the subject, the safety of the pow- college communities. The larger ef- THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF freshman athletes join the squad with coach, said. "We don't go around tell- derpuff players lies squarely on their fort to involve athletes in college life good intentions. ing coaches because some of the ath- own shoulders and those of their stu- started with former Rice president For most Rice students, powderpuff "We are making an effort to inte- letes are the best players. Most of us dent coaches. Malcom Gillis who made it a point is a unifying display of college domi- grate ourselves in our colleges," said [powderpuff] coaches don't mention "As a coach and as a friend, we to get athletes more involved in Beer nance and pride, but for female var- one member of the varsity track team it if we don't have to." can't put these girls in a situation Bike festivities. sity athletes, choosing to play is a who chose to remain anonymous. While some powderpuff coaches where they get hurt," sophomore "Athletes need to be more and decision that has consequences far "People shouldn't be against that." claim to get permission from varsity Jeremy Goodreau, a coach at Wiess, more involved," Bevan said. "It is beyond representing one's college. The people most ardently against teams before utilizing scholarship said. "1 don't want to see any of those important, and it is one of.the best The game's worst kept secret it are varsity coaches who have a re- athletes, there is usually some clan- girls lose scholarship." Coaches are things about Rice." asks Division-1 athletes to choose sponsibility to keep their athletes destine piece to tne story. aware that at times their players have While the athletic department is between participating without the safe. But while their involvement is "The coaches last year expected more to worry about than the out- encouraging players to get involved approval of their coaches or missing kept secret, it is widely recognized me not to play," one member of the come of the game. They often choose as bike pushers at Beer Bike or coach- the chance to take part in one of the that many varsity athletes are part of swim team said. "It is more or less to keep their athletes away from high es on the intramural teams, many most popular aspects of college life. powderpuff squads. 'don't ask, don't tell."' intensity positions like the offensive coaches are not ready to risk the Without knowing how deceptive the "It is a lie of omission," junior With little to no communication or defensive line. However, as his- health of their athletes. tory has shown time and time again, Now without a clear policy on the no one on the powderpuff field is free subject, the issue remains unspoken from the risk of among players and injury. coaches, leaving both Addition- with little more to do ally, while the than keep their fingers powderpuff crossed. Head men's coaches try to track coach Jon War- maintain a low- POWDERPUFF ren (Jones '88) said er level of risk he is aware of the pos- for their own OPENER 2008 sible outcome of such players, they a strategy. WHAT cannot control "1 was smarter Sid vs. Lovett the intensity of than the coach," he the opposing WHERE/WHEN said about his days as teams. Players IM fields by Wiess College, a runner. "I did intra- on the other side Sept. 13 at 3 p.m. mural volleyball, and

have no way of HISTORY 1 wrenched my ankle. knowing when . After a competitive season, It could have been a to tone down Sid and jones advanced career ending injury." the physical in the playoffs to meet in Bevan noted that contact around the final, where Sid won such an injury could KFTM M •v a 5*4" swimmer 7-0. With the victory, Sid potentially impact clinched its fifth straight or a 130 lb. run- more than just the powerderpuff title. ner when the athletes themselves. identity of the "You may be throw- Last season's Oct. 7 match-up between Sid and Brown gets physical as Brown senior Kristin Hill tries to take a flag athletes is kept ing down two years of a secret. off of a Sid player. Brown won the contest by a score of 14-6. recruiting, a finish at the conference Despite the risks, varsity coaches meet and possibly a finish at a national are repeatedly kept out of the loop meet," he said. "We have invested when it comes to powderpuff. "I am $40,000 plus all the extra in this ath- not really sure how they react," an lete, and you are going to say, it is OK anonymous track athlete said. "I to play for whatever college? That is not TECHNICAL & COMMERCIAL STUDENTS don't think they would approve of it why they were admitted into Rice." at all." Many players are unaware that the The most successful problem solvers look of things differently and An athlete's scholarship can eas- zero-tolerance policy has been replaced see solutions no one else can. Who would have thought to use fish ily be revoked if he or she breaks by a case-by-case judgment call. Bevan procedure, but since neither powder- protein to stop gas freezing in subsea pipes? One of our people IlllBliEB confirmed that he remains unaware that puff coaches nor players are asking any of his athletes take part in powder- did. And right now we're looking for more people who can bring what that procedure is, it is difficult puff, and players may be taking unnec- a fresh perspective to the energy challenge. We'll provide training, for them to know if they are actually essary risks in keeping their involvement < support and career choices to develop your potential. We'll get you %, /ft breaking any rules. a secret. working with some of our most accomplished problem solvers. And In fact, the procedure followed "The more it is out in the open, the by the athletics' department has re- together we can help build a responsible energy future. Think further. better it is," Bevan said. "You want to be cently changed, creating a hazy area able to have a conversation where both of uncertainty. parties are being 100 percent honest." For more information and to apply, visit "We had a cut and dry rule for Whatever happens, powderpuff www.shell.com/careers/uscampus or stop by our booth at years-absolutely, no," women's track fans can bet on seeing at least a hand- the Fall Career Fair, September 11-12. coach Jim Bevan said. ful of varsity athletes on the powder- As of two years ago,'that policy puff field this season. They just have Shell is an Equal Opportunity Employer has changed as part of a larger effort to remember: Don't ask, don't tell.

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H COMMENTARY Yankees fan grapples with harsh reality The day I moved back on campus ber without the Yankees becomes a few weeks ago, I wore a New more likely with each game. - m York Yankees t-shirt. I wasn't try- How did this collapse happen? ing to make a statement or be an On paper, the Yankees are not a obnoxious Yankees fan; it just "bad" team. Sure, this year's team happened to be the shirt I wore has had an inordinate number of that day. That af- injuries and dis- ternoon, as I was appointments. walking with my Predicted rook- parents across ie phenom hurl- the Wiess Col- ers Phil Hughes lege Acabowl, and Ian Ken- a friend of nedy crashed mine yelled and burned at from the fourth Natalie Clericuzio the start of the All OWl iS in SMU players look on as defensive back Andrew Sendejo scores Rice's seventh THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF floor balcony, season. Thus, a touchdown of the game. Sendejo's play was also recognized by Conference USA "Yankees suck!" month into the when he was named C-USA Defensive Player of the Week. My dad, a lifelong Yankees fan, season, the Yankees had lost 2/5 the 'zone muttered to himself, "The truth of the starting rotation. On June hurts," demonstrating that this 16, the Yankees' pitching took an- season, more than any in recent other blow when last season's 20- history, has been rough for Yan- game winner Chien-Ming Wang, kees fans*everywhere. staff ace, went down with a foot The fact is, as difficult as it is injury. The rest of the season, the for me to admit it, my friend and team has been forced to "make my dad were right. This season, do" with only two of the team's the Yankees are just downright original five starters in the start- bad. They are a bad team, plain ing rotation - Mike Mussina and and simple. There is simply no Andy Pettitte. It is no small coin- other way to say it. cidence that these two are the old- On that day, Aug. 12, when my est two members of the staff. friend so accurately described Injury has not been limited to the talent level of my team, the the pitchers, either. Alex Rodri- Yankees were a mere eight games guez spent time on the disabled behind first-place Tampa Bay and list at the start of the season, and five behind second-place Boston. slugger Hideki Matsui returned to Being the optimistic fan that 1 action Aug. .19 after being on the was, I did not agree with my father DL since late June. Jorge Posada or my friend on that day. The sea- has been battling shoulder prob- son still had 42 games remaining, lems all season and now is all but Finally, a ballot with While celebrating the football team's first win of the season over and the Bronx Bombers had series a designated hitter for the Yanks. SMU, a few Rice students make known their choice for the win- remaining with both Tampa Bay Thus, perhaps th. .itire demise real candidates! ners of the upcoming presidential election. and Boston with ample opportu- of the team is not entirely the nities to regain that ground. result of poor play. That was then. As of Sept. 1, Nevertheless, despite all the 2008, the Yankees were 12 games problems with injury, at the end out of first place and seven be- of July, the Yankees looked like hind in the wild card race. There they were just waiting for the were 25 games left in the season. chance to snatch first place, only While a postseason that includes three games behind. Since then, What do you want to do after Rice? the New York Yankees is not yet the team has all but gone into a mathematical impossibil- free-fall, a fact made all the more ity, I feel quite sure their season painful seeing as how this is the is over. final season in the House That Even a week ago today I did Ruth Built, the Cathedral, host to not feel that way. Last week the dignitaries from Springsteen to I tm S Yankees had a series with the Red the Pope: Yankee Stadium. 1 Sox on the agenda. If somehow, Every true Yankee fan hoped some way, they found a way to desperately that this team would sweep Boston, hope would not be make the playoffs this season not lost. Now, with the team having just because they are the Yankees, lost two out of three and four over but because we desperately want the course of the week, an Octo- O see YANKEES, page 20

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stadium, from the dank concourses to the "cramped" seating. Perhaps • YANKEES most importantly, even though fans wmm. FROM PAGE 19 and players will will be making the to extend the season in the sacred move across the street to the new confines of The Stadium. The place Monument Park, who's going to en- where Ruth called his shot, the sure the ghosts make the trip? I'm The inside scoop on cheating in sportsground s where Reggie Jackson hit not convinced the ghosts of Yankees past will lurk in a stadium built sim- or McCain had eradicated any sem- four home runs in one World Series As I traipsed among Sydney's lez have done?' ply to up the revenues of perhaps blance of these low-blowers, don't game, where Don Larsen threw the Royal Botanical Gardens- the other Now, I'm not sure what's Span- the most profitable franchise in the you think the honesty could may- only perfect game in World Series day, flanked by Gray-Headed Flying ish for 'the right thing,' but I sure as history of professional sports. Foxes and the serene Circular Quay, hell know how to say it en anglais. be, just maybe, give him a precious history, where fans witnessed thirty- I decided to treat ray self with a dol- Because there's no getting around bump in the polls? three World Series. The place where Ghosts or no ghosts, new stadi- lop of hazelnut gelato. it. Gonzalez, with a brush-of-a-bul- Furthermore, when Scoop al- on April 18,1923, 74.200 fans packed um or old stadium, the fact is that this season has been a bust for this And after 1 had returned to the lows conformity at this integrity - in for the opening of the stadium team. With elder "^atesmen aplenty confines of ray dorm, crashing wea- laden cost, do you know who he built in just 28/4 working days. With on this team (Derek Jeter himself is rily into bed and flipping open my sounds like? Jose Canseco. Bill Ro- this season continuing on the same 34), this season may have been the laptop to the awaiting ESPN.com, manowski. Any third-grader who path that it is, Sept. 21 against the. last chance for these Yankees to ac- I checked out the latest musings of makes, faces at the teacher behind Baltimore Orioles at 8:05 p.m. ET, complish postseason success. So, sports columnist Scoop Jackson. his/her back. the final first pitch will be thrown. to Yankee haters: rejoice - a period Two scoops. Two things I enjoy, Sorry, Scoop, but I ain't a lem- Only nine innings of baseball will ft m of Yankee desperation may loom gelato and sports writing. ming. If you want to be like every- remain to be played in the stadium on the horizon. To Yankee fans ev- But only one left a good taste in one else and degrade both your that has meant so much to fans and Casey Michel erywhere: Do not lose hope - deep my mouth. THRESHER STAFF morals and your stature, go right players of baseball alike. down, I can't imagine the ghosts de- Leaving the fact that I love hazel- ahead. Me, I'll wait to raise up an Truly, it will be an end of many serting the Bombers. nut to the side, it really wasn't that let shot of adrenaline and a crum- athlete who, as cliche as this may eras. The new stadium will never hard to decide which scoop I could bling Blake across fhe net, saw his sound, plays the game as it's meant see a game played against a Red Sox more easily digest. Scoop's column opportunity. And, ever the Machia- to be played. The athlete should not team still plagued by the curse of the - Natalie Clericuzio is a Wiess Col- m begins innocuously enough, posing vellian, he went for it. govern the rules - the rules should Bambino, broken in 2004. It will no lege sophomore and Thresher sports a simple question. 'What should Which is good enough for Scoop. govern him. longer have the quirks of the older editor. Fernando Gonzalez have done?' As the rest of his column goes on That being said, I suppose now (Apparently, Scoop is practicing to to detail, cheating your way to the would be a good time to come clean be a third-grade teacher.) top is acceptable - nay, admirable - - that 3-2 curveball I saw with run- Seeing as my eyes had been as long as it takes place in the realm ners at the corners a couple years previously epoxied to the Michael of sports. As long as the ref doesn't ago? Yeah, I didn't che?k my swing. 0 Phelps extravaganza, I had barely see it, or if the zebras blow the call, Not even close. But that's not how registered that Gonzalez was the all is fair in 40-tove. the ump saw it. And according to Chilean tennis pro who knocked Apparendy, Scoop missed the Scoop, as long as the burden of fail- off James Blake in the Olympic third-grade lesson about integrity. ure lies on the umps' shoulders, I semifinals, one round after the For both the competitors and have free run of the place. So why American had trounced then-No. I the game, cheating - or even turn- do I still feel like a jackass over that Roger Federer. ing a blind eye and a deaf ear to a metaphorical completely true-to- 0 Intrigued, I delved into the col-. transgression - cheapens the mor- life example? umn, soon learning that Gonzalez als and the standards of both the Gonzalez choked, but not in the had stolen victory, helped by a shot competitors and the game. The fcins traditional sense. His unknown whose contentiousness made the don't get their money's worth, and status has since been replaced by Russia-Georgia conflict look like the athletes, who fail to stand up to a dishonorable image, a slither- a pillow-fight. On a "pendulum the challenge, blatantly diminish ing, slash-and-burn purveyor of the point," the chair umpire botched their skill-sets. Who wins? dark side of athletics. (Ah, hyper- •) what replays seem to have clearly Here's Scoop's logic, simple and bole is the spice of life, isn't it?) shown: The rocketed ball, which concise: Since everyone else is do- Fortunately, as Scoop's column would have landed Blake one point ing it, there's no reason for you to signs off, the idea of "karma" comes from his first Olympic final, actu- be different. Scoop writes, "What into play — and it is this ethereal in- ally skimmed off Gonzalez's racket athlete in his right (or left) hemi- fluence (and raw, unabated talent) before landing out of bounds. sphere would give away a point that that landed Gonzalez under the sole • > To his credit, Blake contained critical?" Let's equate that to, say, of Rafael Nadal's tennis footprint. •) his inner John McEnroe and merely politics for a moment. What presi- Third grade, like Gonzalez's pleaded with the Chilean to come dential hopeful would, in the dog gold-medal hopes, may have come clean to the umpire; to tell the chair days of the election, clamp down and gone, but integrity? That can that he felt the vibrations, heard the on the 527s, the 21st-century swift- last forever. thudding as the ball ricocheted off boaters? If only my hazelnut gelato his racket and into the green yon- Honestly, none, but that doesn't could, too. der; to put Blake a breath from the mean we don't wish they would. height of his career. And if there were tangible, all-en- - Casey Michel is a Brown College 'What should Fernando Gonza- compassing evidence that Obama junior and a former sports editor. Senior outside hitter Jessica Holderness jumps up for the kill after the assist from sophomore setter Meredith Schamun.

teams trading leads early. After Rice her team's effort in the match, despite team. ... The look in their eyes was respectively before the Bearkats bat- ) * 0 SWEEPS closed Michigan's lead to three at the loss. priceless and shows we've taken tled back in game three, topping the FROM PAGE 16 14-11, the Wolverines took a time-out "I knew we would find our weak- strides in the area of confidence." Owls 25-23. In the fourth game, Rice to regroup. Out of the huddle Michigan nesses in these first matches, es- The Owls were looking for re- sewed up the match, taking an early However, missteps at the end of the played the Owls tightly and pushed pecially playing Michigan," Volpe demption Tuesday night in Hunts- lead to win 25 20. The team's record game by the Owls gave the game to their lead to 18-11 before eventually said. "The way they came out against ville, Texas, when they faced off with improved to 3-1. Michigan. The final game of the match taking the final game 25-15. Michigan believing they could win Sam Houston State. Rice easily took Rice also earned conference-wide resembled the previous two, with the Volpe said she was satisfied with the match, though, was great for the the first two games 25-16 and 25-13 honors Wednesday when sophomore libero Tracey Lam was named the De- ) m fensive Player of the Week. "I'm very flattered," Lam said. "I was very surprised and I think Can you captivate your crowd? our blocks pulled together well this weekend, and 1 just happened to be the one recognized." Become a Rice Toaster IN* and ace your presentations. tfHLOTZSKnDBi

> *

> H Chips & Drink With purchase ot any medium info session: sandwich or pizza After 3 p.m. everyday > • 7:30pm Wednesday, September 10th Shcr.v your RICE ID y Bfirctnis ad in Meyer Conference Room (RMC) 5 sstft ol fe 1 i»*ti of € 10. Become a better speaker Become a better leader leadership, rice, edu B" spsk tan rapt KV? \Vf*"linuirr (,f Mciiirw 71 W FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 21

Punts - avg. 6-46.5 3-34-3 Time of possession 27:00 33:00

INDIVIDUAL STATS Rushing Rice — Clement 13-87, Casey 9-47, Ugokwe 12-40, Knox 5-25, Turner 4-8, Shepherd 1-1 SMU - Martin 8-28, McKinney 3-10, Mitchell 3-(-27)

Passing BY THE Rice — Clement 24-37-0-258 NUMBERS SMU - Mitchell 25-43-3-244, Turner 5-6-0-82 AUG. 28- SEPT. 3 Receiving Rice — Dillard 7-89, Casey 6-53, Smiter 4-45, Randolph 3-41 SMU — Sanders 8-121, Robinson 7-91, Beasley 5-34 FOOTBALL Attendance — 23,164 VOLLEYBALL 4 RICE I SMU 27 SMU 12 o 7 7 27 RICE LA. LAFAYETTE * RICE 14 14 28 0 56 LI 13 16 14 SMU - Robinson 26 pass from Mitchell (Morstead RICE 25 25 25 kick) SMU - Haynes 19 pass from Mitchell (PAT failed) FINAL STATS LL RICE RU - Casey 7 pass from Clement (Fangmeier kick) Kills 20 41 RU - Randolph 35 pass from Clement (Fangmeier Errors 23 14 kick) Attempts 101 98 RU — Dillard 21 pass from Clement (Fangmeier Attack Percentage -.030 .276 kick) Assists 19 40 RU - - Smiter 12 pass from Clement (Fangmeier kick) Service Aces 2 3 SMU - Robinson 22 pass from Mitchell (Morstead Digs 33 5° kick) Blocks 5 4 RU - - Dillard 9 pass from Clement (Fangmeier kick) RU - - Casey 1 run (Fangmeier kick) INDIVIDUAL STATS RU - - Sendejo 55 interception return (Fangmeier Kills kick) Rice — Bogan 12, Morgan 10 RU - - Dillard 8 pass from Clement (Fangmeier kick) LL — Payan 7, Goodwin 5, Knowlton 5 SMU - Sanders 32 pass from Turner (Morstead kick) Assists FINAL STATS SMU RICE Rice — Schamun 33 First downs 19 30 LL — Laird, 12 Rushing Yards (net) 11 208 Passing Yards (net) 326 258 Digs Total Yards 337 466 Rice — Lam 16, McClean 10, Morgan 10 Return Yards 173 108 LL — Cune 8, Brown 7, Payan 7

Live & Work Abroad LAUREN SCHOEFFLER/THRESHER

Getting a Senior outside hitter Jessica Holderness leaps for the return in this weekend's match against Louisiana-Lafayette. She and fellow senior outside hitter Karyn Mor- Job Information Session hand on it gan led the Owls with 12 kills apiece against Sam Houston State on Tuesday. positions Wednesday, September 1C o * Student Union 3-4.1 rushing than a year ago. muffed a punt, fumbled a kickoff re- 6 - 7:30 p.m. OSMU "We rushed the ball for more than turn, and even the successful kickoffs FROM PAGE 16 200 yards and most of those were de- were inconsistent in length. While the > * signed runs and not just Chase scram- team's offensive and defensive perfor- wide receiver Jarett Dillard. Thus, the bling, and that's exciting to see," head mances overcame the special teams' Start your virtual Peace Corps I*) % struggles, the Owls must address Owls' passing attack can carry the coach David Bailiff said. experience by texting team through conference play. Mini- Defensively, the Owls had their these issues to maintain any sort of mizing fumbles and protecting senior strongest performance in the Bailiff winning streak this season, including Jobs 16 to 247365. quarterback Chase Clement from in- era. Two of their five forced turnovers defeating Memphis this weekend. www.peacecorps.gov • (800) 424-8580 jury are keys to season-long success were interceptions returned for touch- ) * for the Owls. downs, one by junior defensive back The Owls began their 2008 cam- Andrew Sendejo and one by senior paign in impressive fashion, defeating defensive back Brandon King. Send- SMU 56-27 in front of 23,164 fans as ejo's defensive play was so impressive well as a national television audience it merited recognition by the confer- Friday night at Rice Stadium. Clement ence: He was named C-USA Defensive lit up the scoreboard, tying his own Player of the Week. Thanks to the tight record of six touchdown passes in a defensive effort, even though a few big game. Dillard was on the receiving end plays were given up to the Mustangs, Be A Professional Peacemaker. of three of those touchdowns, giving the defense consistently kept the Po- the pair 35 touchdowns between them nies from scoring. M for their careers. The Owls ran for 208 The ugliest aspect of the victory yards and averaged 4.7 yards per carry, was the sloppy special teams play by and it was a markedly different sort of the Owls. Rice missed two field goals,

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» • FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR 23

TURDAYCTND. MONDAY FRIDAY Getcherwhatwhat what?

the Calendar In grand and typical style, Lovett ExxonMobil uses computers? Rhyming is a fun way to make any SEP. 5-12, 2008 College throws the most potty- event sound more interesting! mouthed party at Rice University: Yes they do. And they're having it's Getcheroxoff from 10 p.m. - 2 an info session for any Computer Tonight's Starlight Movie Night a.m. in the Lovett Commons. This Science and Computer Engineer- feature? In the Shadow of the FRIDAY SATURDAY year's theme is "Hakuna my Ta- ing students interested in a career Moon. What's it about? NASA. | 9 Tas," which somehow is erotic and with IT at ExxonMobil. It's today Specifically, the stories of sur- completely confusing at the same 5:30-7:30 p.m. in Duncan 3092. viving Apollo mission astro- Seriously, this is actually Ironically, the Spontaneous time. I've actually spent days try- Registration is "required," but nauts. (This is all in honor of important Combustion auditions are com- ing to figure out what "hakuna" I don't know where you're sup- NASA's 50th anniversary. Also, pletely pre-planned Did you know you can get your means as a lone word. Sadly, posed to do that... arrive early and see space exhibits and a moon rock if Pass/Fails back? Fill out a Pass/ Is that irony? 1 was never good at there is no Urban Dictionary defi- you're into that.) When/where/ Fail conversion form and take it irony. They are today 2-4 p.m. in nition for it. I would very much how? It's all happening in the to the Registrar by 5 p.m. today the Lovett Undergrounds. Don't like to see one by Saturday... WEDNESDAY 10 Rice Football Stadium. Seat- and you can get a shiny new believe me? Here's what they ing opens up at 6 p.m. and the "A" on your transcript and then had to say about it: reuse your Pass/Fail. Thanks, show begins at 7 p.m. For more SUNDAY Why is it called the "Amethyst info on upcoming shows, go to David Tenney! "HEY! Think you're witty? Quick Initiative," anyway? www.rice.edu/movie. on your feet? Undeniably ridic- This event is so exclusive no ulous? Then come try out for There's an Alcohol Policy meeting What do you call an elephant one even knows where it's go- Rice University's premier long today 3-4 p.m. in the RMC's Meyer with an antelope on its back? HOW TO SUBMIT ing to be and short form improvisational Conference Room. Whether or not comedy troupe! Choose one of I don't know and neither does the this event is supposed to be open CALENDAR ITEMS The School of Engineering is the two audition nights, venture Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, to the public is unclear, but it's on hosting an ice cream social to cel- into the basement of Lovett, the Rice events calendar, which 1 which is using them as its new The deadline for submission is ebrate the beginning of the year. and prepare to discover a world say makes it fair game. mascot and holding a raffle of 3 p.m. the Monday prior to pub- So, free Ben & Jerry's assuming unlike anything the world has sorts to name it. Become a part lication. Submissions are print- you can find it. Maybe just walk ever, in its entire worldly exis- of history and enjoy free admis- Courtesy of my good friend ed on a space available basis. around campus from 2-4 p.m. tence, prepared to discover he- sion today from 12:15-7 p.m., with Steven J. Ross, Ph.Douche. and hope you find it by chance. fore. Even we don't know what "family activities" from 1-5 p.m. Submission methods to expect. You haven't made it It's No-Pants-Wednesday! I think Fax: 713.3zj8.5238 up vet. Bring your sense of hu- I love when people try to make Email: [email protected] mor, wear practical clothing, classical music sound hardcore Campus Mail: Calendar Editor and be potentially available for MONDAY Thresher, MS-524 Tonight's Miller Outdoor The- callbacks on Sunday, Septem- atre show is entitled "Strings ber 7th from 3:oo-5:oopm. See THURSDAY 11 Note from the Editor: of Fire." The Mercury Baroque you then!" Fee fine fo you get charged I want to say a quick Happy •) musicians, directed by Antoine Birthday to Baby Cow. Thank Plante, "will blaze through some In the off chance you've just been (Not appropriate for very vas : vase :: choral:... you for completely ruining my of the most incendiary works of living it up for the last two weeks young children.) Tuesday morning... Baroque music, featuring selec- and are not currently enrolled in any The Rice Chorale is perform- Also, did you know the Cal- tions by Vivaldi, Corelli, Gemi- I shit you not, those words were classes, you're going to be fined. ing a Sept. 11 Memorial Concert endar has absolutely no scru- niani and Locatelli." 1 don't used to describe the performance tonight 8-9 p.m. in the Edythe ples? We'll print pretty much think that means they're going of Sleeping Beauty playing at Bates Old Recital Hall and Grand From the look of it, MEMS is in any event you send in! (e.g. to get high on stage, but one can Miller Outdoor Theatre tonight Organ (wherever that is). The charge of everything at this school see Wednesday) Let everyone never be sure. Go to Miller Out- and tomorrow at 8 p.m. (The de- Chorale will perform Faure's know how funny you are and door Theatre (in Hermann Park scription also states that there "Requiem" directed by Thomas For example, today "Late Registra- submit today! by Mecom Fountain) at 8 p.m. to isn't a tutu to be found... if that tion begins," another valuable Rice Jaber. No admission charge find out for sure. helps you make up your mind.) event brought to you by MEMS. (a.k.a. Free Concert!). FLUOR Great Careers begin at Fluor

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1 !• Opp 'tu < \ 1 i mr t K;' [email protected] www.fluor.com/careers > • FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2008 24 BACKPAGE THE RICE THRESHER

As reported on the front page of the Thresher (the part that's not supposed to out, holding two plastic handles of on Martel singles. "Isn't the new alco- have any jokes), President Leebron recently refused to sign the Amethyst Initia- Fleischmann's, one full and one half- hol policy AWESOME?" asks Ostdiek. emptied. Don Ostdiek followed, with tive, a university-based effort to spark debate about the legal drinking age of 21 5:45 - We've already rusticated all four bags of Solo cups and a Gatorade of Will Rice Long Hall, Baker Lower when the federal act mandating it opens for discussion next year. His decision nee in jug full of Everclear punch. He radi- Fourth and Brown Seventh Floor. makes sense: as a man of science, The 'Bron isn't the sort of leader who would oed Officer 220 to bring the ice and Leebron repeatedly notes his desire institute sweeping university reform without carefully consulting the students it trash can. to get food from Katz's. review might ultimately affect. Citing a need for "more research and information" before 4:36 - Student Director of 0- 6:25 - Dean Forman dragged us he could come to a conclusion, and expressing a desire to "set a good example for Week Megan Hermance arrived for a all out to visit Adviser to the Dean of reasonable drinking," Leebron joyfully announced that this fall's only President's post-O-Week followup appointment. Undergraduates Dr. Matt Taylor's of- week of Office Hour would feature an open bar. The Backpage was there. Leebron, not in any state for a meet- fice. During the walk, Forman said ing, threw a jade vase from a Chinese that "Matt here., this bro is the SHIT Backpage Behind The Scenes: university to the ground and declared at Rock Band. He's, like, so good at aug. 31 that both Megan and he were going the drums. I'm more, I'm more of a to attempt "the wickedest kegstands 'lead singer.' We should totally go President Leebron's ever." Megan, initially reluctant, was find Rock Band so you can hear me student association persuaded by the threat of immedi- sing 'Maps'." Leebron notices Tay- ate expulsion. Forman and Ostdiek SA President My ft Open Office Hour lor's half-sleeve tattoo, exclaims how : Youn repiacejr held her up, and her forty-five second "badass a tiger [it] is" and begs to be the traditorfal stand just barely edged out Leebron's shown the full piece. Taylor instructs g M "application" for effort by forty-two seconds. us to "get the hell out of [his] office ~ W - appointing New 9/3/2008 elevator marks the arrival of SA Par- because some people actually have J® i Student Reps 3:53 - RUPD stopped us from com- liamentarian Chris Warrington, carry- to do some [expletive] work around gjjjr I with a new "cage ing into the Allen Centewr when they ing a tremendous binder labeled "IS- here." match" format. heard we were with the Backpage. SUES" that might weigh more than he 7:33 - We're finally at Katz's They had to double-check that we does. Upon seeing Leebron and the (they made Tim drive) but it's full of greg mortenson I ! weren't former Backpage editor Evan keg, Chris took three quick steps back dinner-seekers. Not even the skinny visits rice Mintz. Apparently most of the cam- into the elevator and disappeared middle-aged waiter of indeterminate pus administration has restraining for the rest of the day. Leebron still sexuality can find a table for all of releases "Three Cups of Tea: The orders filed against him. doesn't have that keg tapped. us. Ostdiek insisted that we head to Theme Song" LP, seven injured in mosh pit 3:54 - There's a nice little recep- 4:26 - Leebron finally tapped the House of Pies instead. Leebron kicked tion outside Leebron's office. There's keg. He realized he forgot ice and a Free Press Houston stand on his way pretty good food, but you have to ask asked Dean of Students Robin For- out and stubbed his toe. first o-week for paper plates. And no one is here man to bring some to the Allen Cen- 8:22 - We just got kicked out of lunches of the year yet. ter. Nobody else has shown up. Forman leads icebreaker activities with Megan. House of Pies. Leebron was flicking 3:56 - Now we're making bets on sweetener packets at the (maybe- 80% are also the why no one is up here yet. Kyle says 4:37 - Ostdiek just left to go find transsexual?) waitress when two cops last o-week lunches Of the year everyone is pregaming in Dean of 220 and the bags of ice. Leebron and walked in and threatened to take the Judicial Affairs Don Ostdiek's office. Forman are challenging us to a game lot of us down to Harris County Gen- october Isat Tim maintains that nobody really of 100-cup Beirut. eral Holding. Ostdiek won a stuffed wants to party with Leebron. 4:57 - Backpage wins, 100-14. Ost- blue hippopotamus from the crane registration date 4:06 - Leebron, like a February diek busted in halfway through with game, so not all is lost. passes a huge grin on his face, holding the groundhog, emerges from his office 8:50 - We're back on campus. sorry, mom wearing his infamous Hawaiian shirt trash can full of ice and a 15-foot beer Leebron finally decided to participate and Bermuda shorts. He excitedly bong, which helped Leebron and For- in Baker 13. It is September 3rd at shouts "Where the party at?" man down those 186 beers. 8:50 p.m. He is the only participant. misciass 4:08 - Leebron is attempting to 5:01 - Ostdiek noted that the We're on our 31st game of rock-paper- fit a tap he confiscated from "those hour is up. Leebron quickly respond- scissors to decide who has to take "If you had a baby, sketchy Sid Rich guys" into a keg of ed "What are you gonna do Don, pictures. I would squish it Milwaukee's Best. Kyle offered to shut down my party?" Everybody 9:20 - Naked, drunk and alone, lend a hand, but Leebron insisted he laughed. Leebron walks back to Wiess House. Rice couple overheard at Katz's at can "do it [himself], bro." 5:04 - Leebron took from his desk Unfamiliar with the walking route three in the morning 4:12 - Leebron hasn't answered an heirloom pewter letter opener that from campus to his home and ex- any of our well-planned questions belonged to Edgar Odell Lovett and hausted from the half-mile journey, send your misciass to: about the Brochstein Pavillion, the used it to shotgun a Natty. backpage@rice. edu he collapses from exhaustion in (SEND US MISCLASS) future of the university, or the new Here is where the party at. 5:06 - We're sitting in a circle, Hermann Park and is mistaken for a colleges. He's still trying to get that passing around Don Ostdiek's cell homeless person. for a good frmer for a great time: damn tap stuck in there. 4:32 - The elevator dinged again. phone, taking turns rusticating stu- barnhQitforice. 4:18 - A friendy "ding!" from the This time, Dean Forman stumbled dents and ordering armed RUPD raids The Backpage is satire and is ineptly written by Kyle Barnhart and Timothy Faust. Diane Ryan is a beautiful woman who, we have heard, makes spectacular cookies. CLASSIFIEDS @ rice.edu TUTORS WANTED. LEARNING2, a pri- Wanted: Pre-Cal Tutor for high school Montessori School near Museum of Rice area private tutor available for m HELP WANTED vate tutorial service, needs part- student twice weekly. Home within Fine Arts needs substitute teachers English as a Second Language (ESL) time tutors in Mathematics, Biology, walking distance of Rice University. and part-time assistants. 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Park Models & RV Trailers for Rent. homework and provide low main- up from school and take to activities, No deposit and no lease required. Parents seek weekend night babysit- tenance after-school care for cool, occasional errands, assist with home- Babysitter wanted for 3-year-old 5 minutes to TMC campus. Private ter for 3 and 5 year old children in smart 6th grader Mondays, Tuesdays, work. 2-3 afternoons per week, from twins. Daytime and nighttime hours lake, walking track, swimming pool/ Rice area. $12 / hour with a minimum Thursdays and Fridays, 4:00pm to 2:00 or 2:30-6:30. Must be good with based on student's schedule. Located hot tubs. Laundry facilities, exercise of 4 hours paid. References required. 6:30pm. Opportunity for flexible ad- boys and fun. Good references. Pay: 5 mins from campus. Experience pre- room, gated entrance. Lakeview RV To apply, please call 713-927-4193. ditional hours each week. Competi- $12.00 per hour, plus mileage. Call ferred. Please call to learn more. 713- Resort, 11991 S. Main. 2 miles south of tive pay. Contact Ann at 713-546-0267 Laurie at 832-816-9019. 668-7943- 610 on Main St. 713/723-0973. BABYSITTER for 6 y/o M-W 3:15-6:30 (week days) or 713-432-1846 (evenings pm (flexible). Contact hhod@hot- and weekends). For Sale - futon, new black suede mail.com or 832-545-9050 cover, folds to full size bed, $75.00. DeYoilavcWtiatlt Engineering firm near RICE seeking 406-544-6382. Local Physician in office assistant. Flexible hours and TatestoBecraicaPib the Galleria area looking for student to help with 3 5 minutes from campus. Three Rice Alt-Star?... BOTHER children after school, 230-530PM Owls on staff. Please send resume to If yOB think you might, talk M-Th and Fridays 12-530PM. $10/ [email protected] ATTENTION!! HOUSTON INTERNATIONAL hour. 832-722-9393,Lizabeth Riley or fax it to (832)-6i3-9799. to ose ofottr bartenders Folk Dancers (HIFD) invites Rice Stu- dents and Faculty to weekly recreational abort tfec WHY'S PA MONDAiJ, SEP. 1 The Weekley Family YMCA is looking Part time pet sitter needed for pet sit- dancing from around the world! No ex- All-Star PrpamTidayl for Swim Instructors and CERTIFIED ting business. Service areas include perience or partner needed! Every Friday, Senior P11I) \i<|lil lifeguards and to work morning, af- inside the loop, Sugar Land, Pearl- 7:30 pm-10 pm. First Unitarian Universal- \ our l iivorilf- Senior Knrleinlers Servtiifj I |> \ our I'ilvorilfS ® P«il> ternoons, evenings and/or weekends. and/Friendswood. Applicants must is! Church, 5200 Fannin at Southmore. Lifeguard Candiadates must have pass background check & supply Students $1; Faculty $4. For more infor- CURRENT certifications in : lifeguard- references. Contact Alexis at alexis@ mation: www.folkdancers.org, houston- TUtSDAH, SEP. 2 ing (YMCA or Red Cross), CPR -R, and cubbiesbone.com or 832-338-8307. [email protected], view three vid- First Aid. Lifeguard classes held April For more information, please visit eos at www.YouTube.com, 713-723-6332. i9th-26th and May ioth-i7th . Train- www.cubbiesbone.com a tt r r ><1L« 1 f olli ijr Pill) Niqlil First visit is FREE! 11. ing will be provided for Swim Instruc- tors. Contact Holly Jenkins at hollyj@ IBARTENDING! $250/ DAY Potential. THE THRESHER WANTS to remind you to re- U£DNESDAH, SEP. 3 ymcahouston.org. No Experience Necessary. Training cycle these newspapers after youre done. Available. (800)965-6520 XT213. WWk Nil Trivia ADVERTISING CLASSIFIEDS SUBSCRIPTIONS m We accept display and classified advertise- 1-35 words $15 Annual subscription rates: THURSDAY S£P. 4 ments. The Thresher reserves the right 36 70 words $30 $60/year domestic to refuse any advertising for any reason. 70 105 words $45 $125/year international via First Class Mail Additionally, the Thresher does not take ( H,sLm I \il» Ni<1111 responsibility for the factual content of any Cash, check, or credit card payment must Non-subscription rate: % ad. Printing an advertisement does not con- accompany your classified advertise- First copy free stitute an endorsement by the Thresher. s I l I K ment. which must be received by 5 p.m. Second copy $5 Spoil omr M I. ^ i« ttr I Lis I )nt» ^ omil ami Save a !i«« L «il I * I )oor! on the Tuesday prior to publication. Display advertisements must be received by 5 p.m. on the Monday prior to publication. The Rice Thresher The Rice Thresher FRIDAY SEP. 5 Attn: Classifieds Attn: Subscriptions Joseph Ramirez 6100 Main St. MS-524 PO Box 1892, MS-524 Advertising Manager Houston, TX 77005-1892 Houston, TX 77251-1892 PI..I s Plu i < I * 111: 4|>m I |)i 713-348-3967 Phone 713-348-3974 Phone 713-348-3967 thresher-ads0)rice.edu Fax 713-348-5238 Fax 713-348-5238