Hall of Waters

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HALL OF WATERS

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Th e cover art and cover font were created by Lynne DeSilva-Johnson [ELÆ], derived from the label of a souvenir 1956 glass bottle of mineral water, “Bottled by Th e Mineral Water System, Excelsior Springs, Missouri,” bottled & sold at the Hall of Waters, courtesy of the author.

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Versions of these pieces first appeared in the following publications:

Donald Judd’s Untitled (88-31 Bernstein), the tiny Hall of Waters; To the Artist Donald Judd...; Vichey Group Iodide Spring; and Donald Judd’s Untitled (Stack) MoMA, The Wanderer Regent Spring, Cherry Tree Excelsior Springs Bottling Company, Phoebe Accountability 1; True or False 1, DIAGRAM Donald Judd’s To Susan Buckwalter, The Fanzine Tryst Falls, Shock of the Femme Historical Site Survey--902 Sunset Strip, Territory Relief Spring, smoke + mold Historical Site Survey--30993 W 161st St, Waxwing CONTENTS

| \\\ 7 \\\ ACCOUNTABILITY Let’s get to the point, like water does, rushing to fill does, to rushing about allspaces: is the water this like the point, to get Let’s whether but daughter your am I not or whether fillsspacesisn’t the What liquidity. empty spaces The involved. are costs There daughter. to your be afford I can not or that teachers the writing by understood is It call “place.” teachers writing what are a father’s that understood is It from. are you where the bodies is place water of surface, you until that understood is It water. a body itself of is whiskey of bottle injected liquid of spaces. So 1mg be empty womanhood there’ll your in fluvial, the Meanwhile the point. thigh to every my getting is week of other the delta into is The point the point. to getting that’s everywhere levels and rising, else are water spacea can be not or whether fillsspacesisn’t the What liquidity. this about is that the spaces fills What box. the afford I can not or whether but defined in thought not whether or but Excelsior, me, sustained waters many your not whether or isn’t am iron, your to blood.obliged my Am I in minerals your with to live afford I can alkaline inheritance. My manganese. your to I in debt /// 8 /// | HALL OFWATERS natural. superiority is therefore our nature. To pretend that concept the of natural is isn’t restorative? it? So To in our nature’s soak superior water and pretend that uphold white supremacy daily sound out by gavel clap. And it’s healthy, so all municipal court, windows adjacent to station, police the where that rulings the sulphur,the gulp calcium, pretend you’re better off for thirdthe it. On floorthe is groundOn the floor youvisit can the still world’s longest waterbar, down swill today as City Hall,gods. Serving it was built around site the of that first spring. of brass,curves thick lines of teal, and pale appropriated motifs of Mayan water The Hall of Waters is masterpiecean deco art builtwith WPA money. Inside are to spit.trickle sustains it, makes it gush forward. But is wells truth the up get used and springs marginalizations. Thatwhat a place underneathkeeps thingthethat it is actually Its resentment is And All-American. it’s such an metaphor: easy Springs/wells/ of kinds: migrant all labor, native persons, queer anyone kids, isn’t who white. population & fingertip-gripeconomy. It turns its resentment towards difference town up. dried Excelsior Springs grows more resentful each year of its shrinking Hollywood stars, until spa’s the claims health were found and bogus to the be otherthe springs area in the and built for a spa health industry politicians and classeshistory by doctors the and pharmacists and charlatans claimed soon who splashing away king’s the was evil—and stamped out town inthe records and the discovered spring’s the benefits—the water clearing up hisdaughter’s scrofula, water spring near Fishing River, inClay County. Travis Mellion, ablack farmer, white superiority), Excelsior was founded at site the of an iron manganese mineral white achievement. Named for by Longfellow Henry apoem in (himself abeliever productthe of black labor and black intellect, by taken whiteness &celebrated like National Civic and League, is. it My truly hometown, much like so of is America, Excelsior Springs, Missouri, was named City an in1974by All-America the | \\\ 9 \\\ REGENT SPRING REGENT My dad used to be head of maintenance at the Elms Hotel. He let me use Capone’s use let me Capone’s He the Hotel. Elms at dad usedmaintenance be to head of My feel to I wanted father. my escaping of I dreamed momentum in my and chute a newspaper—presidential up who held Harry S. Truman, like triumphant, the Wabash Truman”—on Defeats “Dewey stating election headline incorrectly ascended Truman election. of the night the Hotel at the Elms staying after line and mob, City Kansas the corrupt by backed was because he politics Democrat to the inability crime and and Capone and Truman about here something there’s the of the door back body out child’s my slip : I could I mean which all. By escape it by probably me, find would he but abuse, my dad & his of be rid briefly, and, Elms Wabash old the past The Elms, of south yards few a spring manganese iron theold caught get if I wouldn’t even And BBQ. the Wabash now which is station, train clean as never escape is An home. at back brother & my mom still was my there behind. something leave always You like. you’d as There’s a difference between hospitality and hospitable, much like there’s a there’s like much hospitable, and hospitality between a difference There’s of andbasements childhoodsurvival.between a a and tunnels difference The and a child I was actually happens. the living where are the home, or the hotel, grand Hotel—the : in the Elms I mean which By escape. to was dream biggest my as age in old reinvented twice down, burned Springs, Excelsior of business tourist suite a private had Al Capone escape chute. an was tours—there ghost for a venue to Excelsior to Chicago from train line take the Wabash would He the Elms. at actually was suite his in the fireplace police a raid, case of deals. In liquor conduct out slip could You laundry room. the basement to down you brisked that a slide Park. Regent at & lose over door the feds the maintenance /// 10 /// | RETURNING TO EXCELSIOR SPRINGS DESERT NOTHING OFWEST TEXAS, INSTEAD OFEVER COMMUNITY INTHETOWN OFMARFA, INTHEVAST TO THEARTIST DONALDJUDD, WHOFOUNDED ANARTS minimalism too. it to boxes, like how smallnesses, Excelsior made you feel, and that was your minimalism. But you took horizon the also maw &partitioned of desert the To strip away from yourself waters the of youth, perhaps that was your intended resentedif they you back home? Didany of bother you? this everyone left& buystheir clothesfactory at Wal-Mart Did youGoodys. knowor People visit Marfa now. There’s a Prada storethere. Excelsior Springs has one comes home, opens a shop. You went & your to desert the work bigger. scaled empty thirsting bottles for &still story. The athlete breaks down,becomes smaller, bond—you give up your and history it’s never paid back to you. An exhibit of decommissioned vault, bank treats which its own like history aprivately held dedicated to youpermanent at gallery town the museum, is which located ina Hall of Waters, there is no installation of your work around town. There is no to your parents &grandparents &there is no memorial plaque hanging inthe Maybe it’s you because got out. You got out &you only came back for quiet visits I hadn’t heard of you yet, Donald. Nobody of really you speaks inExcelsior. was on stage kissing aboy for town the all to see. for like running agirl, evenafter Iwasfor teased evengirly books, reading after I wished forgrandpa, still they kindof this success for me, evenafterbeaten Iwas The famethat people hope fortheirkids is athletic. It’sknow. they all dad,My my town had college national track champions, had Major players. Baseball League game. Iplayed fool the inthat red Mercury Villager and it. that Iknew Iknew our because I wasbecause once ranked 63 I once told my mom that I was “probably most the famous person in town” just rd in the United in the States at Pokémon the trading card | \\\ 11 \\\ TRYST FALLS TRYST My maternal grandparents’ house was a couple minutes northwest of Tryst Falls, Falls, Tryst of northwest minutes a couple was house grandparents’ maternal My Lane with a Lover’s name, that oh but a waterfall, barely feature, park a minor dad rural escape, where coordinated our was home That drowning. of thethreat I then. this safety after lusted drunk. We wasn’t when even he welcome wasn’t dogs hunting Grandpa’s myself. & into up climb trees, walnut black escape to he where garage, the from of gunpowder smell The and barking. off partitioned How a tractor. to drive in I learn secret. teennovels filled read shells whilegirly I than and better stand roadside a is corn best sweet from I learn that fence. fix a to feel confining, doesnot agricultural This education labor. own your from that body loam with my replace cantaloupe, kiss is do in summer to all I want and back but water, pond and the cattails thick near grow Tomatoes & melonmusk. the plush missing anything, than fence-cling more pitiful, push vines mom’s home others. raise should you way the same not raised is were you How the burst. and /// 12 /// | PRINCETON, NEWJERSEY ARTPRINCETON UNIVERSITY MUSEUM BERNSTEIN) DONALD JUDD’SUNTITLED(88-31 what’s reflecting. mirror how to you? Iseem Was it how distorted? back then, at Iseemed Look can’t still (who get my pronouns right), is what Iam inour seeing bathroom of Mytarp atshirt? love, two years since we visited Princeton with your parents it help you plexiglass that behind see beard Ihad inthat moment, underneath that mirror ends & box or it. begins does My love, how did you here to learn see and did There’sgreen a centerplexiglass boundsseamless withinthe of mirror. When distortion. mirror. Donald, you’re from where I’m from; no wonder your same the stack sees few river birch outside Idon’t then know how to fit in. New funhouse is a Jersey gilt. Nothing about my makes place this any body more real to me. If Idon’t a see schools. You’re #3, Princeton. As if defecation could make humble gold this all My Abbas friend and Ihave to agoal have one at day of all Ivy pooped the League & blurs. When no one says to any one why aren’t they happy. to eachother. When afamily stares at same the stack. When areflection stretches maybe Idon’t know me at but all on you us all sideof the see box the anyway, next atbox. Look what’s reflecting. My love, yourparents don’tknow me all andat atLook what’s reflecting. My love, it’sfrombackbeamed us the goldrim the of | \\\ 13 \\\ “good art “good

TRUTH, SCIENCE, SUCH AS IT IS” SCIENCE, SUCH TRUTH, “THE WORLD REDUCED TO ONE TO REDUCED “THE WORLD cannot contradict what is known known is what contradict cannot does it’s it If made. the time it’s at knowledge is Knowledge ignorant. just deal to that.” with art has and not both. not a genre. them into paint system, a caste into cancer. and caffeine from Donald, Donald, that: wrote you Good geocentric. art is Good via chromosome. gendered art is trans, or autistic either Good you’re art says size. Good a small art has sample them paint Good people, of the skulls art will measure funding. Good government art gets memes. Reddit and eugenicists Good equally by cited art is people. white by Good systematically studied art is cancer. and linkGood between a possible caffeine art shows linkGood between a possible abstaining art shows /// 14 /// | York? Is permanence worth purchase? the you Do evenknow? Marfa land really differentthan canvas a hung whiteon a in wall New Somehow else? of Idon’t everything so. think Aftersculptureall, is on what we know is tiny? self-contained? sitting meek amidst expanse the why didyou sculpt boxes out plains? high inthe Didyou want to show that Donald, clear up will art yourGood gout &cure your ulcer is art foundGood at spa. the is art for drinking. Good has art minerals. Good not need art consent.Good is art archivable,Good indexable. cancer. your kills art mother inanGood attempt her to kill if you just init. swim | \\\ 15 \\\ VICHEY GROUP IODIDE SPRING IODIDE GROUP VICHEY —no dunking, no bathing anew. I’d remember the same feeling a feeling the same remember I’d anew. bathing no dunking, —no My father spent time at this center. It took him five 30-day stays before sobriety before stays 30-day him five took It this center. time at spent father My I wasn’t the number, I forget those steps, of one higher power, that found He stuck. them meal,a socialin give the folks detox: for All care was did I counselor. a People talk the comedown. them through with comfortable, they’re sure make 30 or them in 3 days will over being clean wash of a bed feeling because that want even when feels, really it how never they’ll and that’s days be a new but person, remember I barely Baptism. Baptism. Baptism. Baptism. all pass 12 steps. you which used be to the new Methodist church, Methodist the old 13 at age mine, my back slicked vessel a brass from water of a pour as eyes closed tight my church, it was That hair. the of out breasts grow wouldn’t body that pubescent taking my later, years few nothing. I felt shower. The inpatient clients at the drug & alcohol rehab facility I worked for could do could for worked I facility rehab at drugthe & alcohol clients inpatient The 1.) they walk down blocks could the building: two of exactly outside things three on side the supervison. stand 2.) They could employee with Sundays, on church to across could 3.) They walk smoke. to traffic, tourist from away the building, of reflection. quiet So much Spring. Iodide Vichey the old at sit to side street that a me brought time a client One was. Group the Vichey what out found I never Did this the dirt the spring. near from up kicked he’d arrowhead an of fragment Osage people? & Missouria the on taking from springs these ever reflect town isn’t what & monetizing methaddicted & alcohol to are this in town people White currents. colonized of town wet hill. This on a town wet This theirs. /// 16 /// | THE SPACES Sulphur Spring. Sulpho-Saline Pavilion. Montezuma Pavilion. Sunnyside Spring. Spring.Salt Sea Salt Sulphur Spring. Spring. Salax Superior No.1 Spring. White Spring. Sulphur Spring. Salt Vichey Soda Iodide Spring. Sulpho-Saline Spring. Pioneer Spring. Carbonic Spring. Saline Spring. Seltzer Salt Soda Soda Soda Spring. Spring. Muriated Soda Link Soda Spring. Natrona Soda Spring. Soda Relief Spring. Soterian Spring. Willow Park Spring. Lithia Hiawatha Spring. Jones Spring. Montrose Spring. Peerless Spring. Old Smith Spring. Park Spring. Lithia Spring.Lithia Keystone Spring. Lithia No.1 Lithia Spring. Lithium Magnesium Magnaferro Lithium Spring. Spring. Crystal Excelsior Spring. Lithia Imperial Siloam Spring. Regent Spring. Superior No.2 Spring. Steck’s Iron Spring. Fowler’s | \\\ 17 \\\ laxative.” TRUE OR FALSE TRUE OR “Public restrooms were in high demand in high demand were restrooms “Public saline water, not knowing that it acts a as it that knowing not saline water, because of tourists buying bottles of sulpho- of bottles buying tourists because of “A single bottle contains 101mg/l of of 101mg/l contains bottle single “A cardio- of 25mg/l calcium, bone-building pH- of & 330mg/l magnesium, strengthening bicarbonates.” balancing “A white attorney from Richmond, MO told a black black a told MO Richmond, from attorney white “A be to good for ‘ought water the yellow that farmer his to give to take some he that & suggested something’ Opal, weeks.” within who cured was daughter, sick “The waters are sold only in bottles bearing copyright copyright in only bearing bottles sold are “The waters by a bottled are They kegs. or jugs in cans, never labels; in contact come permit them to which does not process the until the spring the time they leave from the air with therefore pulled; all are medicinal properties are corks practically unchanged.” retained “Drink the water at regular intervals, if possible. intervals, if possible. regular at the water “Drink least, the time at for Adopt, Drink them slowly. exercise. drinking and eating, of habits rational healing.” the This will encourage “Settlers discovered these waters these waters discovered “Settlers uses.” their remedial and /// 18 /// | waters/” or priceless origin, the of virtues Excelsior Springs prosperous visitors/And has this, for all its cause dollars areExcelsior leftin Springseach week by our Unitedthe States/It is estimated thousand that thirty waters than any resorts sixhealth put together in ““She more is curing with her matchless disease “Uncle Sam is buriedinExcelsior Springs.” | \\\ 19 \\\ MARFA, TEXAS MARFA, LA DE CHINATI MANSANA LIBRARY BED 15 (1979) JUDD’S LIBRARY DONALD Not that the furniture in my house growing up was any better at facilitating facilitating at better any was up growing house in my the furniture that Not they until passed away, Springs in Excelsior lived parents Your labor. reproductive ours. like a lot probably which was in their house, the furniture hated you and I but talk I could you, I wish to you. to trying just really relate to I’m Donald, far I’m Donald. too, Excelsior left I’ve you. myself in so trying keep I find to can’t, and artist be to an means it what thinking about I’m and the Midwest from away by assuredness and bluster your to reacting I keep and journals, all read your I’ve to your furniture see trying at looking myself find I work. your in fissures finding To take a shelf or table or chair and make a study of line and plane. To sell furniture sell furniture To plane. and line of study a make and chair or table or takeshelf a To the function of that so sharp, so lines precise, saw To dollars. of thousands for your changed, get the diapers help don’t angles Your out. cut entirely is labor better. the sex make any wood doesn’t premium Enclosed on three sides by tall wood, imagine if you’re on the inside, sleeping next next sleeping the inside, on tall if you’re wood, sides by three imagine Enclosed on body, your on turn a malicious make their hands Should partner. abusive your to practice. casket like them. the be It’s bed through escape from would only your art, your from furniture your distinguishes what about wrote once you Donald, is art, it be to only appears if it functional, not is a building or “if a chair saying mine like a home function. I think how and form I think And about ridiculous.” abusive for functioned nicely dysfunctional—it or broken not was up growing thoughts all bed, as my and box this bed, much as which I think is ends. about Donald. been never a woman, have this: you to down reduce Your furniture designs are being sold on a custom fabrication basis, Donald. This This Donald. basis, fabrication a custom being sold on are designs furniture Your on $29,250, depending between costs $12,500 and instance, 1979, for bed from quarters three being wrapped side, one on accessible only wood. It’s of the choice or). I or or fir Douglass or walnut black or cypress (or pine by around the way of what from the world or the room of the rest out block to intent: your imagine can clarify in. To be to space present the bed own make its To the in sheets. happens carved. be could something spotlight bedness, if a bright like the of essence /// 20 /// | missing each other by months. What kind of furniture What function. has afunerary kindof furniture like looks than anything I’ve everwanted, that ascene has never happened and never will. dancingwe survived, together as two women, that ascene Iwant to happen more with each other like never before, for making food each other, dancing because through filets cornmeal,dancing together, Martina McBride the on stereo,dancing sun teaon oil sill, the crackling fryer, inthe me and my mom dredging crappie mom, what kindof cabinets you’d make for my Midwestern windows idyll: open, Still, I’m to figure trying outwhat kind kitchenof counters you’d make for my why youthe left Midwest whatand withyou carried you. and not Missouri the where hills we come both from. Still, I’m to figure trying out Midwestthe init. If anything designs reflect these West thatTexas, flat expanse, | \\\ 21 \\\ EXCELSIOR SPRINGS BOTTLING COMPANY EXCELSIOR And really I think of those days with my dad as his terrarium. In those days his his those days In terrarium. dad his as my with those I think really days And of preserved I was for him, and preserved for history were & its the land ideas of he that man be to the Midwestern ideal potential small town my him in all of rose dusky and filledout breasts now, being. Even of capable himself thought once keeping if he’s as had, never he a son of still this he conception has applied, lipstick remember never mica. I could with flecked agate, glass. under Or maybe under it which materials remember never I could marbles. tried about me he teach to what be glasscan a false of transparency, A pane occlude. which materials and reveal defined best is perhaps Midwest The artifice. an staged, it beyond the scene lying exhibit. a museum as After the divorce, during our custody visits with him, Dad was frequently him, was Dad with frequently visits our custody during divorce, the After kids, Dad two his nurture or entertain to practical no ways meth. Having using shiny for search to Excelsior, hills of the large the woods, up into take us would for searching spent were weekends dig in the dirt.pica to These somethings, agate to separate how us telling terminology, marble off Dad rattled and marbles, He glass marbles. from marbles Days of End from micamarbles from marbles in local glass, especially was interested He glass bottles. also for looking us had plant the mineral water or whichused be to here, plant bottling the Pepsi from which used be to here. There’s just a house with a trampoline out front now. They used to bottle enough Theyenough bottle toused now. front out a trampoline with house a just There’s looks like that house a there’s now and fill to everycar a train here days two water domesticity placewhere a as defined best is perhaps Midwest The house. old my Mom myself waswhen to applied makeup I time first The usedis a cover-up. as dad my the bruise from mask to concealer and use foundation to me taught is perhaps Midwest wall.a The into me tossing and arm an twig of my clutching making best as defined the bed. /// 22 /// | SULPHO-SALINE SPRING Excelsior Springs Brewing Company water and sing morning” –from aprint advertisement in which three owls stand on abottle of “We’re out all night/ Til broad daylight/ but we drink SULPHO saline in the the greenthe ground, of distance, inthe adoe of green of green of green of green. shelter over taken by moss, by spiders, of asudden cistern, of sunlight warming song, no hymn would move me except that of cricket, of creek, an abandoned asked to refuse myself for of sake the transformation, but Iremained empty. No was that upon emptying myself spirit the didnot into rush replace me. Iwas If you can that. believe Faith is a kind of evacuation, and problem the with church flatulency the of stomach; the of skin.” diseases all headache; of passages, nasal the throat, stomach, and intestines; dyspepsia,acidity and [sic], constipation; of rectum, the diseases hemorrhoids, etc; catarrhal conditions erroneously, that sulpho-saline water treats or evencures “jaundice, stones galls your hangover symptoms. Print advertisements claimed, also almost entirely spring’sthis waters as “a morning bracer for club-man,” the can which relieve atdrinking Hall the of Waters.Excelsior The BottlingSpringsCompany marketed realize as much on train the leaving town, inagurgling to rush bathroom, the after Sulpho-saline water is a laxative. Some tourists to Excelsior Springs would only I imagined witches. Iimagined chanting and song and reverence for water. this There was just enough room the on slab danceto inacircle aroundthe cistern and church where Iwas baptized. But here, at abandoned this well, Iwanted to dance. pastelthe &stained of glass Presbyterian the church or soft the warm Methodist imagined myself of held palm hand. inthe apowerful Inever felt any power in stone piers around cistern, the a few stumps of werewhich erect, and still I and worn with time, acistern of middle inthe it. You could tell there were eight andwould woods inthe come walk across acircle of limestone. Rubbed smooth I was young Ionly Irealized when want to worship where it’s coming undone. I | \\\ 23 \\\ ART OF MODERN MUSEUM NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK UNTITLED (STACK) JUDD’S UNTITLED DONALD Donald, this is my favorite of your plexiglass stacks. Twelve shelves sitting sitting shelves Twelve stacks. plexiglass your of favorite my this is Donald, growing neighborhood in my vertical, lawn green, if every as front hydroponic hear I see & I see this nothing. green a ladder to made leading nature, together up & this green saw You garden. overgrown mom’s trickling, my smell River Fishing production. saw you boats, bass of the sheen lacquer, motorcycle industry, saw wrote You boxes. a few with it complicated you inert until nature thought You lookI at But meaning.” symbolic no has it that form, neutral a is box “the that and all I seeis of family, the confines as name last my as grass as green stack, your personhood my deny All I seesymbol. in every in. People I stand a symbol is box just I am and the bathroom for in line waiting I stand a symbol. just because I am room from I move a monster. I am green, I am and in public out I stand a symbol. we What a monster. am I the more boxes the more a box, each identity room, to is boxes say when we mean we What “symbol.” is monster say when we mean more space“actualis intrinsically that wrote you Donald, monster.” the “confine gotthere quite you never But surface.” on a flat specific paint powerful and than still space is use of your box, three-dimensional or canvas —two-dimensional is know: to What I want down. all the way boxes boxes, is because it symbolic where than if actual more was space What monster? a are actualwhen space you standing? stacked I am

| \\\ 31 \\\ MINERAL POISONING MINERAL contribute to your abuse, amplify it, it, amplify abuse, your to contribute you directly doesn’t mean they didn’t they mean didn’t doesn’t directly you you’re not what they say you are, and and are, you they say what not you’re Which is to say just because someone doesn’t abuse abuse doesn’t because someone just say to is Which before you experience seizures, liver failure, failure, experience liver seizures, you before and you haven’t yet realized that what’s wrong is is wrong what’s realized that yet haven’t you and is to say it sends more iron all throughout your body. body. your all throughout iron sends more it say to is a curious pause in which you think things are getting better better getting think are things in which you pause a curious impairment, seizures impairment, wrong is something & tongue—like mouth your coating in the brain and lungs, causing cellular paralysis. cellular causing lungs, and in the brain send it brainward it send Nitrite toxicity results in the over production of hemoglobin, which hemoglobin, of production the in over results toxicity Nitrite and glycemic failure glycemic and Iron toxicity results in abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, then diarrhea, vomiting, pain, in abdominal results toxicity Iron Lithium toxicity results in renal failure, severe cognitive cognitive severe failure, in renal results toxicity Lithium metallic taste in dermal a constant ulcers, results toxicity Iodine hyperthyroidism Sodium toxicity results in the shrinking of cellular tissues, especially tissues, cellular in the shrinking of results Sodium toxicity /// 32 /// | Sulphur toxicity results inaggravation of bronchial-respiratory Potassium toxicity results incardiac arrhythmia &eventual Manganese toxicity results inerratic motor impairment, skills Nitrate toxicity results body’s inthe inability to carry eggs, so what so eggs, ifit was occluded. You said it was cold. You said it was pure. You handed me of aglass water. It was what cold. So ifit like smelled sewer toxicity with me, how I picked it up without knowing what I was swallowing. and we understand both Excelsior. this, We understand both your how Icarry filteringInthe purified water the call they industry process osmosis”“reverse out. to filter have nothing to offer me. You understand my metaphor,Excelsior. How tried I You understand my meaning, Excelsior. There is nothing here. to drink You you. carry of inside lit matches you distress &pulmonary dysfunction. Not classified as cardiac arrest. depersonalization, dissociation, loss of of sense self oxygen blood inthe all of all this especially dangerous,especially it is most experienced in toxic amounts as arestriction of the airway, as amicroaggression, agas set to sweepset past box the | \\\ 33 \\\ PEACE VALLEY PEACE The only significant written source I’ve ever found that acknowledges an acknowledges that found ever I’ve source written significant only The founding Excelsior’s before years in even the hundred few presence indigenous the was Aretus S. McCleary. Aretus Dr. 1940 by book from a self-published is book his Clinic, and and the McCleary Sanitarium at head doctor and founder which Springs, Excelsior around safekeeping native the history as of presented was of the Legend is The book The title Valley. tribes Peace as among then known was simply cover hardback The Springs. the of Keeper Wapoo, by told Valley: Peace of in the bottom stereotype indigenous an of embossed logo an with WAPOO, read an Wapoo, how story of isthe that “This mentions The page title corner. right in Springs, Excelsior as known now the mineral springs discovered hunter, Indian full the last quote thein valley” set that’s men foot and white before long theages of caricature Wapoo—a a lie. is because it all of I will this book share that from Valley Peace that says Wapoo McCleary’s. of invention an wisdom—is indigenous at all the tribes the waters healing that knew about continent-wide, known was calledcreek that Nobody Spring). Siloam as be to known (later Canyon Echo known not were These waters Valley. called Peace the Nobody area Canyon. Echo the verse or the prose of None restoration. of a place as Island Turtle all of across only is all. This the at real anything depict the photographs, of in this book, none modern indigeneity, mention to Springs of Excelsior history written significant to spa sell treatments. a fantasy settler craft does to so it only and I will try to speak plainly of the violence of indigenous erasure. Nearly every Nearly erasure. I will indigenous try of the violence of speak to plainly Mellion Travis that mentions Springs Excelsior history about written of piece mention Any would Spring. be called Siloam at what waters, the first discovered characterized typically 1880 is to prior the waters using peoples indigenous of Hill call the Nebo archeologists what to referring Indians,” “prehistoric use as by 3,000-1,000 BCE. of I will trycivilization speak to plainly: nobody the idea that audacious. is 3,000 years, 1,000 BCE 1880 CE, nearly from to used these waters “discovery.” like words of drinking fictions, deeply swigging down town This settler /// 34 /// | FOWLER’S MAGNAFERRO SPRING undoubted medicinal value.” medicinal undoubted which give will it adecided advantage to invalids with delicate stomachs. It of is waterrich“The is very in iron butis not‘hard’ as as waterfrom the other springs, segregating “children of Mongolian descent”—by he which ignorantly referred editorthe writes infavor of dismissalof African-American troops &infavor of In January the 1907issue of Watson’s Jeffersonian Magazine (an issue inwhich someone has else them. You can give away stories the you don’t want anymore, but that all means is that Vietnam War. Iimagine hundreds more intown dust collecting still on old walls. growing up, for sold being by pennies people were who young adults during the forto shed blood one’s country. Isaw same this diptych at dozens of garage sales United States’ involvement inWorld War is about poem I, the one’s patriotic duty States Call poem Flag.” the of flag“The by & a Fowlertitled Written the preceding in our garage growing up, there was diptych aframed of apicture of aUnited Elector. He was more popularly known around town Stashed inabox as apoet. Fowler’s Magnaferro Spring. He was alawyer, probate judge, &presidential William Fowler Ellsworth owned iron inn&the the manganese well he called concluded are arevival. called both gathering and re-staging the of aplay after run in acommunity its original has ways asoliloquy. And stories the are meant to stick. Alarge community church community tell itself will stories about its values & histories. Asermon is insome Slightlythe Off Broadway communitytheater. And really,what’s the difference. A summer school. Catty-corner from Inn the is an old church building now housing in aslender tub washed over in bottle-green window light afterday a of religious there’s Church, Redeemer Our Christ where Ionce saw aneighbor get kid baptized You two churches can see from site the of old the Fowler’s Inn. rooftops the Over much too function, manganese stick to frothed the will fat of achild’s brain. pediatricians that manganese while element is a trace essential to normal body Infants cannot purge manganese. It is understood by clinicians the and the | \\\ 35 \\\ Missouri Militia” Sons of of Sons Militia” Missouri nd Confederate Veterans group. They were allowed to sell allowed Confederate/Tennessee/ were They group. Veterans Confederate with bumper stickers & bumper stickers shirts & flag flags flag & battle Virginia open was of full Facebook group town on a discussion ensuing The phrases. racist making Everyone slavery. chattel of the realities denial of and supremacy white a as thing being the same Facebook posterity. for recorded is their stance that sure the stories being a performance, Facebook theater. a community or congregation Springs. in Excelsior a revival there’s 2019 and It’s itself. tells a community that was. it always as is the same storytent The under the Just one block away is Broadway Avenue, running past the diner, the museum, the the museum, the running diner, past Avenue, Broadway is away block one Just comes route Parade the Waterfest Every summer Waters. of the Hall of yard green Springs 2018, the Excelsior In & vendors. & treats tents are & there here through the “2 vendor a as approved Commerce of Chamber to Japanese ethnicity), Fowler published a poem titled “You Old Confeds.” It’s It’s Confeds.” Old poem a titled “You published Fowler ethnicity), Japanese to their of the Righteousness and soldiers a schlocky fallen paean to Confederate Elector & a poet & presidential & a judge & a probate a lawyer was He cause. Who all connected. & these are Spring Magnaferro his & owned Inn his owned art, in your celebrated who is nourish, who you you, with stay to welcome you to proximity Your power. to access Your gavels. own your of in judgment who sits the art. from inseparable It’s whiteness. in participation and /// 36 /// | DOXEY BATH HOUSE the wholethe story. to physicians, understood waters the and vapors. their And you’re never taught Springs torn out of town’s the popular narratives. Black people, from farmhands Spence Ewing,Robert was Black. Their contributionsgrowth the to Excelsiorof Hotel. And you’re never taught firstbath that very the house operatorExcelsior, in 1888, and that he opened up Star Bath House after managingthe spa Elmsat The Howard University’s schoolto practice medicine medical inExcelsior Springs in clients as well as white ones. And you’re never taught that Dr. D.A. came from Ellet air treatment. And you’re never taught that Doxey the Bath Black House served trained in Swedish massage technique andhot in administering also Betz the And you’re never taught that W.A. Doxey and his wife, Katie, were specially of Excelsior’s Negro Business W.A. League, Doxey, founded his own bath house. firstthe in state very the of Missouri. And you’retaught never that secretary the never taught that Excelsior Springs had aNegro Business League—thought to be stayed, and you’re never taught that TheAlbany Hotel existed all. Andat you’re never taught that TheAlbany Hotelwhere was Black tourists and Black workers knows that Hotel old the Oaks is down street the from Hall the of Waters, you’re schools you take while ontrips field Elmsto The Hotel, everybody while and first church Excelsiorbuilding in Springs.Early maps left off that church too. And And you’re never taught that Colored the Baptist Church might have the been rest of wouldn’t story the there—we be never got whole the story.” page may have ‘little boy blue come blow your horn,’ you’d turn page the and the student,Lincoln School his education described there like “It’s this: like this—one things arewhen painted erased, over, pages torn out? Herbert Elett, aformer established in1888as Excelsior’s second everschool. And what’s really learned Springs. Early Sanborn maps of town the leave offSchool,Lincoln despite being it never taught that Americans African were barred from city parks all inExcelsior School, despite building the standing, still now aprivate residence. And you’re Lincoln Park,called and there is no historical marker making mention of Lincoln schools Missouri inthe River Valley, Lincoln itpark School.The was called is itself from where aone-pagoda, one-swingset park now stands. many Like segregated And you’re never taught that Excelsior had aJim Crow schoolacross street the | \\\ 37 \\\ SFMOMA CALIFORNIA SAN FRANCISCO, BUCKWALTER SUSAN JUDD’S TO DONALD Nobody seems to know what year this piece is from. Most sources say 1964, but 1964, but say sources Most from. is this piece year what know seems to Nobody I from. I am year what know seems to Nobody even ’69 cited. seen ’65 and I’ve or out birth, the the queer is coming When from? queers any are year what mean, her, touched or I first when me touched partner first when my into, the coming timelike through back stitched yearning of years touch, of lineage theancestral rolling a like Or filigree. been we’re like time, this whole have & yarn are I and she I but aren’t again trying a narrative make to all they I’m see but boxes. is spine blue else, body her something the making fact with is body of together my the fact of eros, an has disruption that understand didn’t you and held, gently something I know And others. from away kept wished you what touched only You Donald. been full storage. always of have boxes your in art but allusion distrusted you You hadn’t thought to stack them yet, Donald. This was when you first hung boxes boxes hung first you was This when Donald. them yet, stack to thought hadn’t You a horizontally; apart placed six inches boxes iron galvanized the wall:on four tumbling wave a rolled them like of top on laid beam, aluminum, blue single distrusted you I know & the gleam and thespace & shine the white through in boxing the art of is Chronology this a timeline. looks like in art but allusion & telling Didion about here plenty say I could and narrative, the art of lives, our You being galvanized. think about rather I’d but live, to in order stories ourselves I they thought When zinc. of coating a protective it over layering by iron galvanize a I was wilderness a I was boy When they thought reflective. shiny, I was a boy was river the in drought there’s when time I thought the whole And map. a wrong with hold can us Each of I am? as what me see you don’t so why a river, it call still we for shell a craft to is galvanize to that or me, not and both I was me that once at both: the always it’s and action, to muscle a spark to is galvanize to but saving out. the coming and hiding Boxes like epochs, Donald, I keep trying to divide your biography into proportions proportions into biography trying I keep epochs, Donald, like Boxes your divide to trying keep I it runsee through to work. Excelsior your in thelines as neat & clean life. else than anything ever is if a river as life, your of all, the river /// 38 /// | ENRICHMENT spas. Your town manufactures marginalization too. is complicit. body political Your town has its own histories, its own fraudulent our be creatorwill and our undoing, entire the because region and entire the essays Excelsior because Springs is unique. I’m essays writing these water because is not unique way. in this me I tell when you Believe that I am not writing these things. The entire Midwest,the entire country,Excelsiorperpetuates ideas. these ofpart aunique composition. mineral Excelsior is not source the of turgid these throughout U.S. the eachyear. But it’s that to think prejudices settler afallacy are watersthese Theof legacy bite.every is in pounds 350million distributedworth, had shifted to low-costpasta, to cornering market share. fresh spring water. By mission 1991their to “make country” inthe pasta best the largest production pasta facility inNorth of America—because its abundance of was chosen in1988for American Italian Pasta Company’s plant—still new the manufactured, pasta of dry about 1.3-2.1liters of water are Excelsior used. Springs water footprint inlarge-scale production pasta indicates that kilogram for every You have likely consumed water the of Excelsior Springs. A2013study of the [Water through/ wasted/ rinsed atreatment.] [Water through/ wasted/ rinsed a treatment] | \\\ 39 \\\ TRUE OR FALSE TRUE OR “There is evidence of peoples of “Thereis peoples evidence in the area the land occupying to prior 7,000 years almost for settlement.” white it are, the waters as “Powerful the offered the opportunities is nature close to get to visitor hardships undergoing without tone and quicken really that add and muscle the sluggish the to snap youthful grace and bodies.” aging of movement “Among the “Among laxative waters, sulpho-saline mild is and peer…It alone—without stands gripes.” never action. It in its sure “Excelsior Springs is one of the most the most of one is Springs “Excelsior size in the United its for cities metropolitan States.” remarkable purportedlyhad “The water the sunk into was a metal if utensil properties: properties magnetic gained it basin overnight, small a object.” up pick could and “Here the air is pure and bracing, there is no no is there bracing, and pure is the air “Here cool, and mosquitoes, no are malaria, there seen; here are springs life-saving health-giving, health restored, found, is peace quietness and those who and again, well becomes the invalid rejoice up, build and rest to place seek a quiet resort.” a such beautiful in finding /// 40 /// | pressing.” body,the craving the for stimulants is less effect theupon braintissues and of nerve constituent with abundance, and by itstonic absent inalcoholism. waters These supplythis constituent of and blood, the one that is protocarbonate of iron insolution, a “Excelsior Springs water contains that would make acombination to equal ours?” youthe find waters of any six well-known health resorts together lithiated, and ferruginous the …Where inany …could locality as exist globe, the here. We have laxative, the ant-acid, the the is not“There suchgroup a or variety of mineral springs on | \\\ 41 \\\ cure. MONTEZUMA BATH HOUSE MONTEZUMA BATH . Shared steam rooms and private private and rooms steam . Shared Which is to say: c’mon, this a bathhouse was say: to is c’mon, Which have Men Springs. in Excelsior each other fucking were Men site. beds on hotel each fucking they certainly and were in the Midwest, each other fucked always across in from certainly driving were Men House. Bath the Montezuma at other from down line taking the Wabash were Men the waters.” of “partake to the region drinkto in. strangers handsome a few and relaxation and rest of a bit for Chicago being very were good of spas in the discreet friends each other with too, Women, good that crying from out Voices soaked, Sheets stained. Springs. Excelsior which that record doesnot Midwest this. The of record historical have I do not neither and born yesterday, I wasn’t c’mon. But unacknowledged. go prefers it thein spaces Midwest Like most people. queer other were neither and you, were in operation only was House Bath Montezuma’s of, out a world made queers that Star and House Bath Royal and House Bath Powell’s with Same years. a few for Bath Siloam and House Bath Harris and Electric and House Bath House Bath Doxey and House Bath Karlsbad Kihlberg’s and House Bath Knox and House before the most, at years ten three, Two, House. Bath Creek Battle and House Bath build to access, & spring the estate real out buy to came interest moneyed some the Ballfor building main became the Montezuma The a pharmacy. a pagoda or health industry Springs’ Excelsior with associated Clinic—the most health facility exposed.were claims health fraudulent after decline economic the town’s with and what it’s And place. its took lot A parking gone. is building the whole Now, them replaces what they and close, the Midwest: across spaces queer to happens In disappearance. a as beeven marked won’t it record thein historical closes,and place. in the first they like even existed never it’s form, true Midwestern It’s so easy to pave over your shame in the Midwest. To take your history and history and take your To in the Midwest. shame your over so pave easy to It’s just of “he’s centuries Two keenly. this know Midwest in Queers the out. it flatten used “he to and been a tomboy” always just “she’s and good friend” Uncle’s your settler centuries Two sense.” some grew he timebut timeto from dresses wear A anymore? pretend when they can’t and exist, don’t queers pretending of here contusions. closet of /// 42 /// | SUPERIOR SPRING with otherwaters,crutcheswillbelaidasideandthestepbecomeselastic.” “All waterisdiuretic butSuperiorisdistinctly so. .BysystematicuseoftheSuperior, receiving manfrom instructionsis was “This Missouri. You’ll have to show him.” inept or for inexperienced job, the common the miner ascab phrase was when from other states. supposedly miners scab the Because from Missouri were too mid-1890’s,the where foremen replaced miners the that were on with strike scabs Another, less flattering, the origin of comesphrase from the minesColorado of in showto me.” eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me.from I am Missouri. You have got from astate that raises corn and cotton and cockleburs and Democrats, and frothy gave arebuttal that his state earned some national he when said: respect “I come Vandiver was arguing inPhiladelphia over some Naval Affairs business. Vandiver that phrase.the The goes story Congressman in1899, Missouri WillardDuncan website for of State’s Missouri the Secretary office offers brief a explanation for and nickname the itself—The Show-Me State—is the on state license plate. The supreme the people be the shall law”). It’s found on and shirts bumper stickers esto lex suprema motto populi motto actual (the Salus being skepticism and athirst for proof. “You’ve got to show me” is unofficial the state The generalizationthat is Missouriansthrough walk lifewith a healthy dose of Excelsior Springs aMissouri town. answera true about things, about anything really, and is maybethis what makes a waterneed purity test or an oral history. Some folks aren’t prepared to accept There are mapsthat which confirm which is but some need folks more than that— residents are oftenpagodathe houses if confused Superior No.1 or Superior No.2. Spring has last the remaining extant structure pagoda inExcelsior Springs, but a sulpho-saline spring and Superior No.2 was an iron manganese spring. Superior two wells less than ablock away from eachother. It’s said that Superior No.1 was treatment for Apulpit ahealing. politics for alesson. Superior Spring is actually It’s amazing things the people confuse for something else. Atrademarked —“The welfare—“The of | \\\ 43 \\\ it, and I worry that Excelsior Springs won’t see this book. I won’t Springs Excelsior worryI and that it, seeing The word “Excelsior” is often translated from Latin as “ever upward.” The word The upward.” “ever Latin as from translated often is “Excelsior” word The It’s to. trying up stopped live to long has the town that a superlative is Excelsior refusal false to is is a see superiority all That see that. always I that imperative when shown. When your bed & breakfast is named after & located in an old jail. When your your When old jail. an in & located after named is bed & breakfast your When you When transitioning. them from dissuade to people trans to out reach pastors your When dogwhistle racial slurs. for routine a as Corpskid” use “Job the phrase queerness. race or about let the high to refuses plays perform school school board your When deposits. calcium decades like of you on up builds whiteness When pagoda. a private a refusal, is whiteness I’d like to show other people the walking trail around Watkins Mill. I’d like to to like I’d Mill. Watkins the walking people trail around other show to like I’d I’d like lure. bright a of off sun glinting the crappie, for fish to how people show the art-deco or the hotel, Elms of tiles the old people in the lobby other show to Ray’s, at counter the lunch people show to like I’d Waters. of in the Hall lines in the good morels of a patch people show to like I’d a hamburger. them to treat state Tigers ’96 ESHS the ’94 and I saw the seats people show to like good dirt. I’d off rising the steam people show to like I’d from. football teams championship show to like I’d night. a Friday on behind the bleachers chocolate hot of a cup of its of a member for together comes community a church that the ways people a a barbecue competition, fireworks, people show to like in need. I’d congregation 10 Highway, down out Boulevard & Isley down a drive sandwich, fried tenderloin you’re what people show to like sunrise. I’d a Ray County hill, into the big up recognize I the things you, about miss I that The things Excelsior. of, soproud thoselet be things seen won’t when you that do to me for hard it’s But in. myself you. like who aren’t people by worry that my act of showing will be confused for an act of betrayal, a declaration a declaration betrayal, act will of an be confused for showing act of my worry that people. its and the place for hatred, of It makes me doubt what I’m doing here, writing this book, writing trying becauseam I here, to doing I’m what doubt me makes It who up grew us all of how trying am I show to history. its of proof the town show trying I am to complicit. settlers, are out, & cast used us even those up of there, the not is something be to shown But are. we very Midwestern how typically show as thing same There’s no proof for either of the stories behind “The Show-Me State.” Missouri Missouri State.” behind stories Show-Me of the “The either for proof no There’s It right. feels that a proof demand to wants the truth. It actually want doesn’t in the wrong. it’s how shown not right, it’s that be to told wants /// 44 /// | LONDON, ENGLAND TATE MODERN, DONALD JUDD’SUNTITLED(COPPER), is a record of sculpture’s the Your making. 21 to about this learn you, Donald, that you give credit to others This inwhispers. found at back of the sculpture, the out of sight. It reads “72-21 JO” and I’ve come The only imperfectionthis in the piece, only crackthe in math, is an inscription lapse of abullet moving through abrief recorded history walls, inholes. bullet. It like looks chamber. the It like looks a sequence of exit wounds, a time- Ilook firing. sculpture,this at gleaming with violent potential. the likeIt looks your bullet. When you push bolt the back in, that into bullet is guided place for rifle, you pull outboltthecavity a theto expose in chamber intowhich you place cradle, is arifle’s chamber waiting forviewer, a me,be bolt.to its boltIn a action aboutI think how to aviewer needs activate. art sculpture, This its mechanical at cost the of grown. to time spendwhile aboutthink how any growth personal you do(Ido, my anyone) does, dad comes aboutright. Ithink seconds feeling longer at same the as time your life shortens. I projectionsthe simultaneously decreasing by 1.5inches as piece the moves left to thanwider one the before it, 1.5inches eachtime, wider with spacebetween the as half-orbs from central the coppercircular Each slickness beam. increasingly a penny trigonometry. Four projections bullnose extending towards viewer the it winds up with ugly evocations. Buffed polishedand roundnesses, proof, alogical sculpture of yours. It’s hard so perfectly, to be trying mathematically beautiful that We lived, clearly, or Iwouldn’t of thinking that be night as at Ilook 1973copper this backing up to door the and your is dad going to shoot you all. ago that you were thrown up against inyour wall the bedroom &now you’re arm, longer each second seeming than one the before it. It feels like mere seconds your mom, her back up against screendoor, the your baby brother inher right to hallway the rifle he the closet out pulled of andyou’re still there, back up against trigger,the breath all suspended, one more and second he’s passes still there, back front of barrel the of agun.One your second passes, dad’s finger hesitating over There’sequation no forthe way time extends itself, while reaching,you stand in st fabrication order in 1972. “JO” | \\\ 45 \\\ Ugly evocations: what a gun can get you. Ugly evocations: working only from from only working evocations: Ugly you. get a gun can what evocations: Ugly only because us, at perhaps the rifle fire dad not did My you. to designa given across following, me arms, her in brother my door, the front out fled mom my shake never I can the street. on truck parked & behind a neighbor’s the yard was He night. that sincerity dad’s my doubt to come I’ve but the memory, out gun and that for body his I think. reached When violence, that fabricating merely out actingonly I thinkhe was shoulder, of his the soft give into the stock pressed your says that schematic Midwestern A him. to misogynista out design handed like too a girl is much like too much that’s boy little your and disposable, is wife there, it was already as much so created not was done violence The disposable. be to activated. waiting Some twenty five years after your death now and your fabrication of Marfa, Texas Texas Marfa, of fabrication your and now your death after years five twenty Some the story of from town the cattle Texas Marfa, eliminated has arts town an as the settler just that’s And trains. freight and ranchers A history of Texas. Marfa, the of What invisible? Texas, West of peoples the indigenous of history—what was infrastructure arts Marfa’s TheComanche? Apache? The peoples? LaJunta Fort military of the old buildings bought imperialism. You by possible made galleries. open-air halls, residencies, artist sculpture great made and Russell D.A. where wonder I outpost. Patrol Border a U.S. neighboring thespace is Today an on Texas West passed through hadn’t if you this place made have would you to engineer an as out then shipped you where Los to Angeles, en route bus, army have you would whose place, story, Which War. the Korean of horrors American route? taken a different had bus if your onto fabricated shadow your Your works are celebrated for how they dissolve their ideas into the impersonal. the impersonal. their ideas into they dissolve how for celebrated are works Your appreciated I think you shapes. essential forms, new Platonic created Like you’ve brushstroke artist’s an that perfect is in a way process fabrication the industrial how your read I’ve the work. of body out your took it be. How cannot chiselstrike or about felt he how know so writing, I can’t José’s have I don’t Donald. journals, you eliminate to sought outsourcing your While labor. his from beingalienated begin to with. being invisible about felt José how know I can’t work, your from stands for José Otero, the worker at Bernstein Bros. metalworking facility in Long Long in facility metalworking Bernstein Bros. at the worker Otero, José for stands your sure, design, your It’s made actually who this man sculpture. The Island. novel nothing while And there’s you. for pieces your fabricated Otero But math. thinking I’m manufacture, its of the labor outsourcing art about in the historyof erasure. the particular of violence about

/// 52 /// | SEOUL, SOUTHKOREA KUKJE GALLERY DONALD JUDD’SUNTITLED(STACK, COR-TEN) we have vibrancy aglossy to us regardless. that breakstime apart ourconsistency. with a grim particles Your recognition that gesture to interiority, Donald. Your recognition at last that is not body the perfect, on top of black. color Each letting in,closer, viewer the closer. Iam moved by your viewer. Green on top of yellow on top of purple on top of on ivory top of orange Not astack of shelves but of open boxes, color inviting out acrylic their to the firstin the place. you, But ferric. stack, this Cor-Ten this column, reminds me of why I sought you I’ve fearing been that Midwest the eat will at me from inside, the like it didfor built as grand around apagoda own their way practiceinthe you didwith Marfa, shortcomings like yours will, did, gurgle up to surface.few artists the And while withtime you &your works, feeling disappointed and feeling like my own artistic picture of it I drew an ochre breath, sharp, and wept in place. I’ve spent much so Thisthelast is of yourthe stacks, abrupt finale,series whenI and first sawa andhis resiliency maybe I’m better off for it. removing my by dad reverse osmosis. But have Istill sometimes Ithink some of open, awoman, inviting you my in.Sometimes Ithink gender is mostly afilter, too, my weathered body, my love. Its oil-damp roughness before I finally broke forsober and adecade and ahalf we’re almost honest with each other. You know, witnessed his weathering, Ican appreciate many the hues of his sobriety. He’s been My love, you only know my dad’s damaged body, his chronic porosity. Having oxidation, its quick patina. Rushed rust. “weathering Sometimes called metals. steel,”perfect you were drawn to its rapid Donald, late inyour career you took to using Cor-Ten steel instead of more corrosion? you saw men the Icame from, didyou at look and accelerated our see bodies My purpose. rusty love, you when to started spend years next to my body, when atLook what’s reflecting. Nothing is reflecting off of matteumber, surface, russet | \\\ 53 \\\ And again, all I see is symbol. Am I too eager to see my dad, my town, redeemed? redeemed? town, my dad, see all to I too my Am eager I see again, symbol. And is Last time I Cor-Ten? of conformity a by moved I’m that say else does it What like feel to made I am how about I thought in person stacks your of one at looked a just is monstrosity myself, with being honest I’m If being trans. for a monster when monstrosity our feel often people trans White whiteness. of form mirror Monstrosity participation. or power of seats from exiled, kept out, beingcast But figure. human the “normal” of aberration or becan theorized a mutation as in the first denied to was access space it a exiled from or be out cast can’t Blackness still mutating, quickly entitlement my just it’s a monster, like I feel When place. eyes. everyone’s of in front oxidizing there, /// 54 /// | RELIEF SPRING Company, 1906 and Pure Water JournaltoCharlesFish,manageroftheExcelsiorSpringsBottling by ‘blooddiseases’ Iambynomeanscertain.”-aletterfiledtheChicagoClinic the stomach,includingcancerofetc.Justwhatweare tounderstand advertised tocure ‘stomachdiseases,’ itshouldcure allpathologicalconditionsof ‘curative ofstomachdiseases;kidneyblooddiseases.’…ifawaterIs “It isneitherscientificnorattractivetomedicalmenadvertiseawateras Cancer Cure Sanitarium,ExcelsiorSprings,1900 Cancers are removed withoutleavingascarandtheyneverreturn.”-the Bauserman “We cancure Cancerandothertumorswithouttheuseofknife.Byourmethods “clean living movement” was appealing itself to American whiteness. Cleanliness Excelsior Springs attracted more and more visitors at same the that time the you put that letter inadrawer and on. you carry and illnesses terminal chronic pain. And folks when outside bubble the warn you, vagaries. Youmedical printing start ads that position your water as acure for you claiming start that water the on your site can cure an increasing number of fiction to make a foundation forSo to competeit. withthe downwell the street That’sthingthe about storiesthe in Midwest: you sink yourwhole life intothe SpringSalax and Relief Spring Pavilion. There was too much moneythe waters. in later—investors from Kansas City, a reverend, a professor, and adoctor—built the Relief Springwhen down was closed folks & the re-opened who it a few years You could your close well or your spa,but someone would else replace you. Like warning that end the was coming but or whether not could afford they to heed it. Ginger Ale. The question isn’twhether or notthe town’s business interests had any 1893 &1904World’s Fair for Regent their Spring water as well as Soterian their were turning into admittance sanitariums.bottling The company won gold the at & investments.population The growing. was Thespas were turning into clinics answer. There were costs involved. &advertisements,Infrastructure reputations cure aperson of but illness or whether not town the could afford a negative The question wasn’twhether or notthe waters mineral Excelsiorof Springs could | \\\ 55 \\\ I wonder if the town was able to breathe then. Just for a moment, did Excelsior truly did Excelsior a moment, for then. Just breathe to able was if the town I wonder to money more no was There out. found lie was The breath? relaxed take a deep, be to a man pretending I stopped When anymore. pretend to had Nobody protect. new possibility of Years to. supposed always was it in the ways body moved my had Springs Excelsior foot. of light I walked forward, and me before stretched and everyto correct each day opportunity has the Midwest The too. this chance town nostalgia. The upon reliant is tourism Excelsior’s to. chooses not and itself, are visitors and in which residents Days, called festival Gatsby annual an on puts the best & celebrate Twenties in their Roaring dress unironically to encouraged Saturday Evening Post Post Evening the Saturday a story for Ralph Lee wrote 1963, journalist Smith In and claims health an exposeof the It was fraudulent Pain.” of Hucksters titled “The What waters. the about the Ballarticleno comment made at practices Clinic. The treatments its radio wave and did Ball “fibrositis” diagnoses of Clinic its in was techniques treatment adjustments—pointless spinal alkaline and diets and Ball Clinic closed Foundation—and Rheumatism the Arthritis and by discredited every nearly by be soon to followed publication, the story’s of a year within down in town. sanitarium and spa greedy single These waters are ancient treatments, and they are effective. This town could have could town This effective. are and they treatments, ancient are These waters a was it before long healing of a place was once it as healing, just been of a place they discovered the fiction that into lives theirsunk whole settlers White town. the Missouria and Nation Fox the Sac and of in their genocide And these waters. useto waters. the how learnedtheynever required, their fiction that theOsage and just They really renewal. of extraction,not as sites They learned springs these expiration. inevitable trick an with a parlor coin; into water turn to learned how All commercial waters in Excelsior Springs began to not only be categorized by by be categorized only not to began Springs in Excelsior waters Allcommercial of milligrams many How mineral purity. for tested but mineral composition, buy to bottles many How the virginal spring. of ounces many How each mineral. white. drink yourself keep to to much How clean. you’re before being a moral state. Some of the same doctors and scientists extolling the moral the moral extolling scientists and doctors the same of Some state. beingmoral a from abstinence or treatments water or vegetarianism virtues of physical and also were etc.) the Carnegie Institution, Kellogg, Harvey (John masturbation supremacy. justify to white phrenology, like of race science, forms new crafting movement. eugenics the from movement living clean the no separating There’s aquifer: purity. the same share that springs are They /// 56 /// | Claims Brewing Company.” are, well, funny. Ajoke to profitfrom. newcraftThe is namedbrewery “Dubious Excelsior’s of history colonialism, settler particular racism, fiction, fraudand values—thepolitical rank bigotry—are And thriving. there’s agrowing that sense The town’seconomy mightbe moving forward but its exclusionarycultural and Icomeuneasy when back to visit my or dad come back for or afuneral awedding. residents working on revitalization and community involvement. But I’m still Standard Springs Excelsior has its own coffee roaster and Elms The Hotelnew has ownership and The up downtown again. Excelsior Springs has craft anew brewery.Excelsior Springs now (ifnot quite Iwas when attending). so Excelsior Springs has shops opening Excelsior Springs has an award-winning, forward-thinking public school high wondered town ifthe leadership has read ever actually The GreatGatsby. days of flourish. Manygraduatingkids from Excelsior SpringsSchool have High is asuperb newspaper and town the has some engaged | \\\ 57 \\\ , right there, is is there, right , MARFA, TEXAS MARFA, there FOUNDATION THE CHINATI 15 UNTITLED WORKS IN CONCRETE 1980-84 IN CONCRETE WORKS JUDD’S 15 UNTITLED DONALD You purchased over 40,000 acres across Pinto Canyon, where you built three three built you where Canyon, Pinto across 40,000 acres over purchased You of place your home, weekend your and Casa Morales, Perez, ranches—Casa the Excelsior in you I’ve been looking for. Your critique of conquest conquered conquered conquest of critique Your been for. looking I’ve in you the Excelsior was art that make to was in Marfa project Your ambition. colonial your by and of land, the control required goal This installation. endless an unconquerable, it. obtain to became a conqueror so you Donald, you wrote that “The art and architecture of the past that we know is that is that we know of that the past architecture “The artand that wrote you Donald, or placed it was painted, where remains which is The that best which remains. conquerors. taken by was be could moved that the past the art of of Most built. and made” soon it’s as as conquered artis all Almost recent Fifteen concrete structures of identical dimension—2.5 x 2.5 x 5 meters—all meters—all x 2.5 x 5 dimension—2.5 of identical structures concrete Fifteen are some eye, a curatorial with horizon the frame Some differently. out hollowed placed in threes, are Some slab. a closed-off of dark the enveloped into windows stand can Visitors staggered. boxes, Others are each other. facing mouths their cave Ever hours. of the course over waltz the shadows watch and a small hillon nearby “The writing concrete dance, that of denied the importance you self, surly your using configurations of the possibilities about but shadows about not are boxes most is what That shadows. about is think people it Most these measurements. purpose no was to the in trying art, there it understand explain to don’t you see. If this piece, of in awe people keeps what intent, mathematical your matter No you.” of fill desertthe to space was succeeded the Donald, in, with selective you what art place where The new with feeling. charged is every hour, Every day, shade. wouldn’t you believethat don’t I And made. you space the negative is activates a legacy?not if shadow is a all, After what known. that want The people of Marfa, of Presidio County, of the Chihuahuan Desert,of the Chinati of the Chihuahuan Presidio County, of Marfa, of The people like will you tell Bend the Rio thein Grande, Big of Canyon, Pinto of Mountains, of the thought me, scares it and Donald, you, to up caught the water me: theytold the killed in end you have might Springs I think Excelsior too. me for coming it space. of understanding an necessitates why understand to and /// 58 /// | individual spell, others say land the found away to liberate itself from you. for keeping Chinati the springs for yourself. Some say you were hexed by an you don’t, either way Ican’t really tell you how people thought you were cursed kind of justice, I’m Donald. I know: writing to a ghost—you either know or this Many people were who around Marfa about at talk your still time the death as a upon your burial. andtime), that’s where you died, three months later, only able to return to Marfa you owned still acast iron building on Spring Street, gorgeous, if decaying at the lymphoma had metastasized. You went for treatment inNew York City (where by you time the sought asecond opinion, abroad inEurope for an exhibition, your youdiagnosed with astomach bug that would go away on its own. It didn’t, and sick for abit, but your doctor in Marfa shadow the missed on and CTscan the You in1994. Sixty-five died years old. You’d felt adisturbance in your midsection, your ranch,Casas, primary but people say you rarely springs the used yourself. and guard it. The springs were, in distance,terms of desert notthat from far Las public. You put up agate and afence and you hired people to stay on property the or bathing water or water to wash clothes. And you springs the closed to the celebration.where people This wasthe a desert in place got watertheir drinking byhealing used indigenous peoples for centuries. This was acommunal place of In 1990you purchased land the rights to Chinati the Hot Springs, aplace of in you. to control how it’s is Excelsior the seen, inyou, Midwest the inyou, American the shelved, stored, history. Your tremendous this to need frame all space, your need peoples and culture, and it like that’s seems where you thought place their was: It’sthem? said that your has library over about 150books indigenous American around Chinati the Mountains? To what see conservation would have meant for grandfathers and great-grandfathers battled colonizing the United States army Jumanos families never left?Did with whose youany speak people,Apache whose peoplethe that live still on either sideof border, the Julimes the and Conchos and consult with descendents Juntan of La peoples before buying up that all land? All saw as this conservationism but really it was paternalism, saviorism. Didyou even undisturbed, evenrefusing to rent cattle grazing rights to ranchers. you Ithink kept rest the Casas—and otherwise burial, Las of land the undeveloped and | \\\ 59 \\\ I say: maybe Excelsior Springs was the curse. Maybe you were doomed, maybe doomed, were you the curse. was Maybe Springs I say: Excelsior maybe I don’t I say: no, conquered. be to thing a owned, as see to water doomed, I’m But it. of kind one of out if I did I transitioned even believe in original sin and vicissitudinal, on which came the curse, Donald, of the viability admit to I have spaces the empty metastasized, lymphoma your As spring. polluted a sudden, like common, is as fluid, filled with lungs your of the lining and chest between your from came you to thirst: as thirst dust to dust much so Not effusion. a pleural in a Texas West of water the spring put currents, colonized of town a Missouri drowned. you in the end, and, box, private /// 60 /// | ACCOUNTABILITY have incommon, what eachof us shares. How much of us is made of water. to failed both fit. What thespaces isn’tfills being thicker, blood, whatbut all we can only eachother ifwe for heal see we who are and not for family the roles we daughter or maybeIam daughter the of many so people and two maybethe of us transitioned and said “my son is gone, he’s really gone.” Maybe Iam only my own revolution. And maybe my was dad right he when saw me for first the time after I empty aquifer—violent and permeable—waiting for its own erosion, for flood, of aplace is adubious claim to essential. the That’swhiteness all canbe: ever an or not we can affordthe attempt.whitenessObjectivity is a is a hollowing out not its can art everbe own apart set object, from precariat narrative, but whether resources amassed by wealthy, the stacked. Whatthe isn’tspaces fills whether or border flourish, police casting their own shadows. Thisabout is liquidity. Material orwhether not can weather they change. the all It’s only getting hotter, drier. The spaces isn’t or whether not laborers the of Marfa can afford designer clothing but conceptsthe of heredity and family. There are costs involved. What the fills empty orwhether not Ican forgive my father (Ihave) but or whether not Ican letgo of Icanwhether find homepeople in and not in stolenland. What thespaces isn’tfills away from smoke wood the and crappie blossoms and of dogwood Excelsior but mybetween questions. Whatthe isn’tspaces fills whether or notcan I affordstay to me your limitations, Donald, and helping my me see own negative inthe space along by itself, art by what continued after youpassed. Thank you for showing critique changes the to Marfa—the flow cultureof andcapital—that were brought enough recognizing time limitations problem: the to see it’s awork to of trying art installation sun floodlight. I’ve piece from indesert set 2005,atheatrical spent There isn’t a really Prada store in Marfa. It’s Prada afalse storefront, an art

| \\\ 63 \\\ NOTES My writing on Donald Judd should not be constituted as a complete depiction depiction a complete as be constituted not should Judd Donald on writing My and in art criticism, training formal no I have made. the art he the or person of of this out left is that & politics biography complicated his of so is much there that critique and the Judd with of connection artisticpursuit my said, book. That (2016, Writings” Judd “Donald all I read of researched. extensively was it of came a which is Murray, Caitlin and Judd Flavin Books), by edited Zwimmer David well as ever wrote, Judd every Donald article essentially of published compilation and the Chinati Foundation Judd The & journals. notes previously-unpublished as course. of available, Marfa and Judd about information of plenty make Foundation artist, Beingessential an Judd. about Marfa to connected people with alsoI spoke and in newspapers work him & his about written articles of plenty had Judd this the time I wrote during which I read of many the world, across magazines the whose “Taming article, Keller, David to belongs special mention book. Very quarter the second from Springs,” Hot of the Chinati History The Waters: Healing confirmed culture), artsand Texas West Cenzio far of journal(a of issue 2012 the purchasing Judd about Marfa to connected people from being told I was what Josh include specialof mention to them. Other access sources off & closing springs texasbeyondhistory. site the in fluentcollab.org; published Judd to letter T Franco’s A lot of my research & historical facts about Excelsior Springs, MO came from from came MO Springs, Excelsior facts about & historical research my of A lot Excelsior of thecity by commissioned survey site forms historical Missouri series a 2011-2012 surveys of from information of a lot I source Springs. called Three Colorado-baseda company of Dean Wolfenbarger, by conducted a 1991 series surveys as well as survey, of Preservation, & a 1994 landscape Gables City. based was in Kansas when company his Wolfenbarger, by also conducted also the were forms state Missouri record these public reading time spent My in this survey essays crab site hermit historical behind the two inspiration direct including well, as Springs local Excelsior sources to many book. I learned from Kevin and Sonya local and historians Archive; and Museum Springs the Excelsior of course, And fishingriver.com. and theidlehour.com & their websites Morgan, experiential knowledge of plenty was there hometown, being my Springs Excelsior I know. people of & the lives life my from derived /// 64 /// | GPS data for Judd’s Morales, houses, Casa rural Perez, Casa and Casas. Las seattleclouds.comthe app for particularly Solfrian2’s hosting service, and history a mysterious resource art site with no direct homepage by run “Solfrian2” user on net for information about indigenous the Juntan La peoples of Pinto Canyon; and follows: resources. Some of most explicitly those inresearching used piece this are as This work has engagedwith countless pieces of visual text, media, andart, other http://www.fluentcollab.org/mbg/index.php/interview/index/196/135 14,2012. 196, Sept. Franco, Josh. “Long Letter to Read: Donald Judd.” Fluent Collab. Issue judd-interior-design-modernism https://www.curbed.com/2014/10/22/10033194/marfa-texas-donald- Fenton, Rise of Laura.Marfa.” “The Curbed. materials. Excelsior Springs Museum and Archive, various records and advertising https://www3.epa.gov/ttnchie1/ap42/ch09/final/c9s09-5.pdf Environmental Protection Agency. “Pasta Manufacturing.” Ennis, Michael. Minimalist.” “The Texas Monthly. April 2003 https://visitexcelsior.com/maps/WellWalkingTour.pdf of Excelsior Springs.” Downtown Excelsior Partnership. “Mineral Water History Walking Tour library-bed-15/?attribute_pa_materials-wood=common-pine Donald Judd Furniture, 15.” “Library Bed https://judd.furniture/product/ Frieze.”What Is Issue Object?” the 82,April 2004 Jasper Morrison, David Musgrave, Sudjic Deyan and Richard Wentworth, Lynne LiamGillick, Cooke, Mark Godfrey, Heilmann, Mary James Meyer, ChinatiThe Foundation, various resources.Chinati.org late-cor-ten-works-evolutionary-or-unchanging/ https://www.artinamericamagazine.com/news-features/news/juddrsquos- Unchanging?” In 17,2015. Art Dec. America. Baumgardner, Julie. “Judd’s Late Cor-Ten Works: Evolutionary or http://media.corporate-ir.net/media_files/NYS/PLB/reports/2002arl.pdf American Italian Pasta Company. “Annual 2002.” Report BIBLIOGRAPHY

| \\\ 65 \\\ Judd, Donald. Donald Judd Writings. David Zwimmer Books, Eds. 2016. Zwimmer David Writings. Judd Donald Donald. Judd, Murray Caitlin and Judd Flavin Juddfoundation.org resources. various Foundation, Judd The Project. History Oral Foundation Judd The Voices. Marfa Rainer. Judd, 2007, film minutes) (25 of the Chinati History The Waters: the Healing “Taming David. Keller, Second Quarter 2012 Cenzio Journal. Springs.” Hot Artist, Revealed a Philosopher-Critic as Judd, “Donald Randy. Kennedy, Times. Dec. 25, 2016 York New The Children.” His by The the City.” of State Gives Springs “Excelsior Samantha. Kilgore, 30, 2018 March Standard, Springs Excelsior San My Springs.” Hot Less: Chinati or “72 Hours John. MacCormack, 10, 2002. https://www.mysanantonio.com/life/travel/ June Antonio. article/72-Hours-or-Less-Chinati-Hot-Springs-3617186.php Podcasting C.M. Mayo’s Springs.” Hot Chinati at Spell C.M. “A Mayo, (27 minutes). 04, 2012. Podcast 8, Nov. Episode Mondays. Project—Marfa Burbach Diana Guest: Keeperof the Wapoo, by Told Valley, Peace of A.S. The Legend McCleary, MO. Springs, and Clinic, Excelsior McCleary The Sanitarium Springs. 1940. Donald Efficacy and of Ethic Practice: The and “Principle John. Messina, Annual 98th ACSA de Chinati.” La Mansana at Interventions Judd’s Architecture. Schools of Collegiate of Association Meeting—Re.Building. 2010 Theidlehour.com Sonya. Morgan, Fishingriver.com/archaic Kevin. Morgan, Journal Street Wall Retreat.” Private Judd’s “Donald Tony. Perrottet, 29, 2017.https://www.wsj.com/articles/donald-judds- March Magazine. private-retreat-1490792313 Survey LLC. CL-AS-015, Rosin Preservation Lauren. Reike, Department 2014. Missouri Inventory. Resource Historic Boardinghouse Office Preservation Historic State Resources, Natural of Public MO City, 1894-1940. Kansas Maps, Insurance Fire Sanborn Special Collections Valley Missouri Library, Texas.” Art Marfa, to His Brought Judd Donald “Why Samantha. Sanders, Artistsnetwork.com. https://www.artistsnetwork.com/magazine/donald-judd/ /// 66 /// | BLDGapp/ayala.html Ranch.”“Las Casas http://seattleclouds.com/myapplications/solfrian2/ solfrian2/BLDGapp/morales.html “Casa Morales/Casa Perez.” http://seattleclouds.com/myapplications/ Resources, State Historic Preservation Office Mineral Wells and Springs. 2011.Missouri Department of Natural Wolfenbarger, Three Dean. Gables CL-AS-010, Preservation. Survey Office Missouri Department of Natural Resources, State Historic Preservation Park Driveway System, Landscape Architectural Historic Survey. 1994. Wolfenbarger, Three Dean. Gables ExcelsiorPreservation. Springs Natural Resources, State Historic Preservation Office Hall of Waters 1991.Missouri and Place District. Department Central of Wolfenbarger, Three Dean. Gables CL-AS-009, Preservation. Survey inside_out/2014/06/30/art-in-the-landscape-exploring-marfa-tx/ Out—A MoMA/MoMA PS1Blog. https://www.moma.org/explore/ Waldow, Jennie. “Art Landscape:Exploring inthe Marfa, TX.” Inside/ texasbeyondhistory.net/junta/reconsidered.html Research Laboratory at University the of Texas at Austin. https:// Texas History. Beyond “LaJunta Reconsidered.” Texas Archeological Austin. https://texasbeyondhistory.net/trans-p/peoples/farmers.html Texas Archeological Research Laboratory at University the of Texas at Texas History. Beyond “Part-Time Farmers: Patarabueyes Junta.” of La donald-judd-exhibition-guide/donald-judd-exhibition-1 https://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/donald-judd/ Tate Modern. “Donald Judd—Exhibition Guide.” The New York Times. Feb.13, 1994 “DonaldSmith, Judd, Roberta. Minimalist Leading Sculptor, Diesat 65.” 2013 “DonaldSmith, Judd: Roberta. ‘Stacks.’” The New York 24, Oct. Times. | \\\ 67 \\\ ), ), Silas Hansen (Waxwing Hansen ), Silas ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ), Lindsay Lusby & Emma Sovich (Cherry Sovich & Emma Lusby ), Lindsay ), Andrew Andrew ), Femme the of (Shock Sherri), Caudell

), Callum Angus (smoke), Callum Angus + mold ), Andrew Cartwright (phoebe Andrew ), My everlasting thanks go out to my cohort and faculty & mentors in the MFA in theMFA faculty & mentors and cohort my to out go thanks everlasting My of University The at Department & the English writing in creative program particular in Michael Thanks to me dear. holding for all you Thank Alabama. Abidi, Abbas Gibbon, Freya Berger, Katie Oliu, Brian Madden, Dave Martone, Zach Doss (RIP), Wells, Brandi Agnone, Annie Kochman, Laura McCall, Jason I wouldn’t be who I am today without the influence of Rebecca Browning. You You of RebeccaBrowning. the influence without be today who I am I wouldn’t in the arts, be to a woman how about ever know could you than more me taught be artist. to an how about There are many, many good people from or living in or connected to Excelsior to Excelsior or connected in or living good from people many many, are There Too childhood still do today. and my throughout me space for held that Springs Lee, Derek & Katie Nall Josh thank I must though list, a complete make to many Bertram, Halliday Whitehead, Nicholas Rippeto, & Mark & Vicki Patrick Mueller, Hamachek, Andrea Holtzclaw, Erik Uftring, Sonny Ben Troutman, Jamison, Jesse Clevenger Cathy Bowman, Liz& Bettendorf Nathan Rogers, Nikki Teeter, Megan my dad Cazzell,Lauren Lane, Griffin, Rachel Jerilyn Everett, Christen Minton, others. among Rhonda, Aunt my and (Bret), brother my (Doug), Thank you to the editors who worked with me in shaping and publishing early early publishing and shaping in me with worked who to the editors you Thank ), Wanderer (The Raquel& Salas Rivera Arrand Colette this project: from work (the tiny Torres & Gabriella Myers Gina Tree Klein (Territory Sargus Fleischmann Clutch T & Walker, Shinkle, Nicole & Jean Katie Monson, Ander ). Fanzine (The Rose & Sarah Etter Butler Blake ), and (DIAGRAM So, so many thanks go out to Elæ [Lynne DeSilva-Johnson] and the truly tireless the truly and tireless DeSilva-Johnson] Elæ to [Lynne out go thanks so many So, as a whole. world literary the for and System The Operating they for do that work to the contribute collectively that talents many-splendored to the you Thank home its found this book that so grateful I’m System. The Operating of making y’all. with /// 68 /// | Thanks Grass,ConniemostCarver all to of my mom. Imiss you. writing book. this Thank you to cat,our Vladimir,who comforted me inhis finalyears asI was dayEvery spent with you is agift. I can never express enough appreciation for my wife, my love, Laura Kochman. know you who are, and you have kept me alive. Thank you to my familychosen in Philadelphia, too numerous to list here. You forcrucial life the of book. this Laura Citino &Roy Guzmán. Your patience and kindness with me has been Cynthia Brandon-Slocum, Chantrelle, Leela Jennifer Huang, and former editors gratitudeDeep for my fellow editors Lit at Sundog among others. Patrick Fedo, Andrea Jones, Iverson, Liz Adam “Ace” Smith, and Amanda Meyer, Jared self: silly Bailey, Brett Henggeler, &Cristy Jon Ferguson, Michaela Jordan, Northwest and pals, my group of English major/minor nerds that my letme be Kirschbaum Litte (RIP),Bruce (RIP),JeffreyLoomis. Thank you toTheater my Missouri State University: John Gallaher, Aronson, Gribben, Rebecca Roger Bryn Thank you to earliestmy writing mentors,when Iwas attending Northwest It bar world. was best inthe the Thank you, Tuscaloosa. in Tuscaloosa. It was most of the idea powerful home that I’ve ever experienced. forward. ThankBob you Weatherly wholetheand crew the at Egan’soriginal Bar Gollihue, Kori Hensell, and Emma Sovich for pushing my writing &my thinking JennyShinkle, Gropp, Emily Wittman, Tasha Jonathan Coryell, Dubow, Krystin PeninaLeia Wilson, Rafferty, Colin Elizabeth Wade, Yolanda Manora, Katie Jean : Melissa Wiley, Chappel, Carrie | \\\ 69 \\\ DEMYTHOLOGIZED GROUND DEMYTHOLOGIZED A CONVERSATION WITH BERRY GRASS WITH BERRY A CONVERSATION I think the only role that I really want to fill is to be a writer that other trans other trans fillto to is that be a writer want I really that role I think the only my leverage to I want and writers trans for spaces create to I want admire. writers reading runoccasional I an writers. boost to degrees trans my experiencesand I pay and the Gathering,” called in Philadelphia “Tragic: writers trans seriesfor paltry my bank account. from coming it of $30, a lot of upwards reader each What’s a “poet” (or “writer” or “artist”) anyway? “artist”) or “writer” (or a “poet” What’s / creative / artistic literary the (in role social and cultural as your see you do What beyond)? and community I don’t know when I decided I’d actually call myself a writer. Maybe when I Maybe a writer. actually call myself when I decided I’d know I don’t I remember think, to but a foolheaded way that’s I realize started publishing? wouldn’t I that a writer”—feelings “I’m and “I write” between a difference feeling There’s quickly. more the term “essayist” I did accept now. validate necessarily “writer.” for is there like “essayist” with success of level or status implicit no fully deserves so. do to probably essayist an who calls themselves Anyone When did you decide you were a poet/writer/artist (and/or: do you feel comfortable comfortable feel you do (and/or: a poet/writer/artist were you decide you did When prefer/ you do affiliations or titles other what poet/writer/artist, a yourself calling accurate)? more are feel I think I’m an essayist because I’ve always felt better about my thinking if I’ve thinking I’ve if my about better felt always because I’ve essayist an thinkI I’m make to just person a young as essaying essentially I was it. through written me. with stuck has trait that and decisions, proper Why do you write? write? you do Why My name is Berry Grass (they/them or she/her). I’m an essayist. I’m a transsexual. a transsexual. I’m essayist. an Berry is name I’m she/her). (they/them or My Grass I grew still to like be one. I would and been mostly a teacher, a metalhead. I’ve I’m also (which is the MO Spring, Missouri—Excelsior part of interesting in an up substantially it’s but a rural town, much this book) pretty of is subject micro-level of suburb a not it’s but site, tourist a history as its to due size its for developed I also lived City. Kansas from away drive a half hour’s only it’s but City, Kansas 2014. since PA been in Philadelphia, living I’ve AL, and a time in Tuscaloosa, for Greetings comrade! Thank you for talking to us about your process today! process your about to us talking for you Thank comrade! Greetings choose? would you that a way in yourself, introduce you Can /// 70 /// | truth oftruth feeling, and to research use truthfully. And Ifeel responsibility the I’mwhen essaying. Ifeel responsibility the to convey of and truth experience Idonot generally place formal constrictive practiceson my writing, particularly readings/writings/work of other creative people informed the way you work/write? creation of your work? Have certain teachers or instructive environments, or What formal structures or other constrictive practices (if any) do you in use the manuscriptbook going. samethe town (and U.S. the Midwest more broadly) told me that Imaybehad a Long short: story that Ihad two differentsets essaysof linked revolving around ekphrastic and epistolary. What up ended written being was essay apersonal form that was simultaneously as toso figure outwhat, if anything,Excelsior was Springs aboutDonald Judd. after individual works withthe dead of his, to dialogue andwiththe trying goal of I had alot more to say about Judd and to Excelsior! And as Iwas writing that piece was (which later scrapped), I realized a spring to close Judd’s parent’s house in Excelsior Springs. Judd was in born godfather of American minimalist sculpture, Donald Judd. Ibegan to write about essays, Iwould stumble onto of asecond set essays—about linked infamous the What Ididn’t was that course necessarily inthe expect of writing my Excelsior already work the linking as Iwrote from late 2016through year. this essaying. In other words, it was form the as well as subject the that was always- approachin this where withinthe place specific townthecatalyst was forthe piecesmemories. were these I knew not just in linked terms of subject, but also etc locations, had geospecific that Icould use area as a jumping off point for my water-relatedspecific siteExcelsior. in Becausethese former springs or wells or & my growing experience up there through short pieces that were “about” a essays memoirs. &lyric to Ihad idea write the about my water mineral hometown piece “Hall of Waters”) was that I’d writing at be least ashort sequence of linked My intention first from draft very the the of firstessays these of I wrote (the titular How or how not? theme while the poems themselves were being written /the work was being made? a collection or understand your process aswriting or making specifically around a in general) coming together? Was it astruggle? Didyou envision this collection as had this intention for awhile? What encouraged and/or confounded this (or abook, independent entities into abody of work. How and why did this happen? Have you Talk about the process or instinct to move these poems (or your work in general) as are bunch. afriendly That’s my role. just another essay nerd, writing &appreciating, about & talking essays. Essayists fulfillmentfrom the I Beyond get that, my rolethe community literary in be is to Judd. Ibeganwriting essays So titled | \\\ 71 \\\ game or something. And considering that I want this want I that considering And something. or game Zelda of Legend In a very immediate and obvious sense, this book represents the milestone of of the milestone sense, this book represents obvious and a veryIn immediate bulwark of a is kind existence Its book. first my published and written having As I mentioned before, the first essay from this project that I wrote was “Hall of of “Hall was I wrote that project this from essay the first before, I mentioned As partly in because Perhaps the title book after. eventually which I would Waters,” ground initially to able I was history, & its building ornate this one about writing water-related important more no the book. basicallyThere’s of the themes all of the first of the site at built It’s Waters. of the Hall than Springs in Excelsior site exists the town the reason is that thespring settlers, by discovered was that spring just it Plus: court. municipal halland the city hosts presently building all. The at like sounds It grandiose. It’s mythic. almost sounds . It Waters of Hall cool. sounds a in temple a place. is a reflect this pieces about certainly book that of individual the The titles book), every in entire piecethe (maybe five pieces a small of handful from Apart after titled are that essays springs water the There’s a specificplace in has the title. in work specific a have only not Judd essays the even but wells, & specificsprings installed way is The in. the work country that or state also and the city but thetitle, the thinking & that ever forgetting from readers prevent to is these operate titles a specificplace a to with in this book tied, inseparably, very is the research much specificof specific & history cultures. people method/ your of as indicative you to represent work particular this does What mission/intentions/hopes/plans? your history? your practice? creative My biggest source of perpetual inspiration is the international essayist community. community. essayist the international is perpetual of inspiration source biggest My there’s so that so much work, each other’s by & inspired so get excited Essayists theory pedagogy essay and with share us help to exist that Assay like even journals each other. Talk generated? it was How represent? title your does what monikers, of Speaking (individual naming of process your how and book, the titled you way the about specifically. work your colors and/or you influences etc) sections, pieces, the book the of title self-imposed narratives, the town’s book demythologize to place. in the first demythologize to myth there’s that establish to helps when essaying to not just follow my digressions of thought but to show those show to but thought of digressions my follow just not to whenessaying and constrictive, of the opposite quite is that me, to But happening. digressions use structural to One do tend I practice so much. form the essay I love why is that of reflects content the essay an of the form that sure make possible whenever to is ekphrasis using essays the Judd the in cases as of in a small least way, At the essay. that essays crab” the “hermit way—like challenging in a huge, Or instance. for the historical for survey forms state Missouri of thein form written literally were for essay” crab the “hermit term coining Miller for Brenda to out (shout record forms). non-literary use borrowed that essays /// 72 /// | as aprint help will object get into this libraries and onto hopefully course syllabi. trans reader, arural particularly abit sees of themselves Its book. inthis existence places that lives their shape take in.Additionally, Iwould love it ifany trans reader, Who I dohope that is erased? being out readersseek questions will these for the power where you are from? What is narrative the given the behind narrative? settlers to at least recognize themselves as settlers. What are fictions the that reify to examine real the histories of places the where grewup, they to inspire other My pie-in-the-sky would goal for to be inspire book this other settlers U.S. inthe community and beyond? What are your hopes for this book, and for your practice? world, and how its will presence asan object facilitate your creative role in your What would be the best possible outcome for this book? What might it do in the castigate queerness, etc. creates and replicates conditions the that occupy indigenous land, oppress BIPOC, town inthis asableexperiences to broadly so be to speak to how Midwest the to Excelsior Springs. Iwant to amicro-level take book this at look my life and about colonialism settler the & white supremacy of Excelsior Springs is unique Nothing about my as atrans experiences woman are unique to me. Nothing and its or I)inacollective experience, lyric of inahistory collective experiences. track, but what I wanted to do was ground essay the (and its individual narrator the be nonfictionjudge book is rightthisthecanbe.will whether Readers on of Another thing is that attempt does Ihope book this what to be aleftist creative laborers water and skilled treatment facilitators to Excelsior Springs’ history. Travis Mellion Spence and and Robert Katie &W.A. Doxey and other Black Excelsior Springs and its waters. I hope that can help book the uplift and restore Missouriathe Osage & the Sac and & the Fox Nation to record the and of history a white writer to do. What instead does is help Ihope book this uplift & restore of anti-Black inmy violence that town Iobserved that’s because not my place as language.lyrical Ididn’t want to write way inalyric about individual moments but book, lyricism inthis Ididn’t want to write about colonial settler violence with harm. Iwanted to write about whiteness inaplain, understated way. There is use of whiteness. Ihope that insuch doesthis away book the that isn’t itself enacting stories that Midwest the likes to tell itself. Telling to colonialism settler truth and says book The alot about demythologizingthe Midwest—telling thetruth to What does this (asmuch book DO aswhat it says or contains)? am not stagnating as awriter, and that Ihave capacity the to change and grow. journalism that represents Ifeel was 200+pages). like book this So to me that I that Itended to write (and my unpublished manuscript book-length of literary transitioning, and 2)is asignificant departurefrom the longer page 15+ essays notalso lost on me that 1)my is both book this first project since hormonally against my negativity self-directed and anxiety and imposter syndrome. It’s | \\\ 73 \\\ I suppose that I just want to say that Donald Judd is a more complex figure than than figure complex a more is Judd Donald that say to want I just that I suppose I think the (and desperation in this book. characterized I wanted perhaps he’s out figure the book as to proceeds) in the narrator-self evident is behind this want a as carry life, him through with did Judd Springs Excelsior from negativity what the past, into looking from the future divining of A way myself. protecting of way PLENTY—I had he And shortcomings. SoI guess. this book Judd’s critical is of (so journals many and writings collected his all published I read of know, should deeply was he political mind; A…complicated architecture!). about opinions his off in he comes (though a leftist himself considered probably and anti-war, what takes and the anti-Communist with a radical almost as journals centrist, paternalistic his and Switzerland, and City, York New in Texas, the houses with lost get to that want I don’t artist. a great was he And wealth). his of deployment kept I & flaws, shortcomings his him for dismissing of Instead critique. my amidst could he thought I what for reaching kept thought, his and work his to returning teach me. Is there anything else we should have asked, or that you want to share? to want you that or asked, have should we else anything there Is I’m not sure that it completely does. I feel like there’s certainly a role that literary that certainly a role there’s does. like I feel completely it that sure not I’m & colonization, of capital of ravages the critique offering only in not plays writing fight to possible is what of imaginations our crucially in expanding more even but work to fiction Poetry seem and positioned better implement. and achieve and for organizing political whatever I leave mostly So nonfiction. than imagination on But writing. my from separate exist to online) speak about directly I do (& won’t a leftist/collectivist/anti-capital what out in building interested I am I said, as see. So we’ll others. for or me for look like can essaying And honestly? I look forward to print copies getting a little water stained and and stained water a little getting copies print to I look forward honestly? And this book.for feels right mildewed That time. with and yellowed social in community creative and poetics of role the about bit a little talk Let’s sobering, often the face we as lives daily our in so present activism, political and practice, process, your does How Capitalocene. the of realities dangerous sometimes conditions? these with otherwise interface work or /// 74 /// | grass on Instagram. much professional wrestling. Follow at @thebgrass on Twitter, @berry. Lit, Sundog When aren’t they presently reading submissions as NonfictionEditor of Gathering,”the an occasional transgender reading in South Philly. series as Nonfictionserved Editor of Black Warrior Review their MFA They recieved from the University Alabama,of where they chapbook, publications. They are a 2019 nominee forthe KrauseEssay Prize. Barrelhouse, Sonora Review, BOAAT, and The Wanderer, among other Their essays poems & appear inDIAGRAM, The NormalSchool, Grass has Missouri, lived inrural Tuscaloosa,Berry &now Philadelphia. Collector’s Item they are they embodying what happens aVirgo when watches too ABOUTTHE AUTHOR , was published in2014by CorgiSnorkel Press. . They curate“Tragic: . They Their WHY PRINT / DOCUMENT?

The Operating System uses the language “print document” to differentiate from the book-object as part of our mission to distinguish the act of documentation-in-book- FORM from the act of publishing as a backwards-facing replication of the book’s agentive *role* as it may have appeared the last several centuries of its history. Ultimately, I approach the book as TECHNOLOGY: one of a variety of printed documents (in this case, bound) that humans have invented and in turn used to archive and disseminate ideas, beliefs, stories, and other evidence of production.

Ownership and use of printing presses and access to (or restriction of printed materials) has long been a site of struggle, related in many ways to revolutionary activity and the fight for civil rights and free speech all over the world. While (in many countries) the contemporary quotidian landscape has indeed drastically shifted in its access to platforms for sharing information and in the widespread ability to “publish” digitally, even with extremely limited resources, the importance of publication on physical media has not diminished. In fact, this may be the most critical time in recent history for activist groups, artists, and others to insist upon learning, establishing, and encouraging personal and community documentation practices. Hear me out.

With The OS’s print endeavors I wanted to open up a conversation about this: the ultimately radical, transgressive act of creating PRINT /DOCUMENTATION in the digital age. It’s a question of the archive, and of history: who gets to tell the story, and what evidence of our life, our behaviors, our experiences are we leaving behind? We can know little to nothing about the future into which we’re leaving an unprecedentedly digital document trail — but we can be assured that publications, government agencies, museums, schools, and other institutional powers that be will continue to leave BOTH a digital and print version of their production for the official record. Will we?

As a (rogue) anthropologist and long time academic, I can easily pull up many accounts about how lives, behaviors, experiences — how THE STORY of a time or place — was pieced together using the deep study of correspondence, notebooks, and other physical documents which are no longer the norm in many lives and practices. As we move our creative behaviors towards digital note taking, and even audio and video, what can we predict about future technology that is in any way assuring that our stories will be accurately told – or told at all? How will we leave these things for the record?

In these documents we say: WE WERE HERE, WE EXISTED, WE HAVE A DIFFERENT STORY

- Elæ [Lynne DeSilva-Johnson], Founder/Creative Director THE OPERATING SYSTEM, Brooklyn NY 2018 RECENT & FORTHCOMING FULL LENGTH OS PRINT::DOCUMENTS and PROJECTS, 2018-19

2019

Y - Lori Anderson Moseman Ark Hive-Marthe Reed I Made for You a New Machine and All it Does is Hope - Richard Lucyshyn Illusory Borders-Heidi Reszies A Year of Misreading the Wildcats - Orchid Tierney Collaborative Precarity Bodyhacking Work-book and Research Guide - stormy budwig, Elae [Lynne DeSilva-Johnson] and Cory Tamler We Are Never The Victims - Timothy DuWhite Of Color: Poets’ Ways of Making | An Anthology of Essays on Transformative Poetics -Amanda Galvan Huynh & Luisa A. Igloria, Editors The Suitcase Tree - Filip Marinovich In Corpore Sano: Creative Practice and the Challenged* Body - Elae [Lynne DeSilva- Johnson] and Amanda Glassman, Editors

KIN(D)* TEXTS AND PROJECTS

A Bony Framework for the Tangible Universe-D. Allen Opera on TV-James Lowell Brunton Hall of Waters-Berry Grass Transitional Object-Adrian Silbernagel

GLOSSARIUM: UNSILENCED TEXTS AND TRANSLATIONS

Śnienie / Dreaming - Marta Zelwan, (Poland, trans. Victoria Miluch) Alparegho: Pareil-À-Rien / Alparegho, Like Nothing Else - Hélène Sanguinetti (France, trans. Ann Cefola) High Tide Of The Eyes - Bijan Elahi (Farsi-English/dual-language) trans. Rebecca Ruth Gould and Kayvan Tahmasebian In the Drying Shed of Souls: Poetry from Cuba’s Generation Zero Katherine Hedeen and Víctor Rodríguez Núñez, translators/editors Street Gloss - Brent Armendinger with translations for Alejandro Méndez, Mercedes Roffé, Fabián Casas, Diana Bellessi, and Néstor Perlongher (Argentina) Operation on a Malignant Body - Sergio Loo (Mexico, trans. Will Stockton) Are There Copper Pipes in Heaven - Katrin OttarsdÓttir (Faroe Islands, trans. Matthew Landrum) 2018

An Absence So Great and Spontaneous It Is Evidence of Light - Anne Gorrick The Book of Everyday Instruction - Chloë Bass Executive Orders Vol. II - a collaboration with the Organism for Poetic Research One More Revolution - Andrea Mazzariello Chlorosis - Michael Flatt and Derrick Mund Sussuros a Mi Padre - Erick Sáenz Abandoners - Lesley Ann Wheeler Jazzercise is a Language - Gabriel Ojeda-Sague Born Again - Ivy Johnson Attendance - Rocío Carlos and Rachel McLeod Kaminer Singing for Nothing - Wally Swist Walking Away From Explosions in Slow Motion - Gregory Crosby Field Guide to Autobiography - Melissa Eleftherion

KIN(D)* TEXTS AND PROJECTS

Sharing Plastic - Blake Nemec The Ways of the Monster - Jay Besemer

GLOSSARIUM: UNSILENCED TEXTS AND TRANSLATIONS

The Book of Sounds - Mehdi Navid (Farsi dual language, trans. Tina Rahimi Kawsay: The Flame of the Jungle - María Vázquez Valdez (Mexico, trans. Margaret Randall) Return Trip / Viaje Al Regreso - Israel Dominguez; (Cuba, trans. Margaret Randall)

for our full catalog please visit: https://squareup.com/store/the-operating-system/

deeply discounted Book of the Month and Chapbook Series subscriptions are a great way to support the OS’s projects and publications! sign up at: http://www.theoperatingsystem.org/subscribe-join/ DOC U MENT /däkyәmәnt/

First meant “instruction” or “evidence,” whether written or not.

noun - a piece of written, printed, or electronic matter that provides information or evidence or that serves as an official record verb - record (something) in written, photographic, or other form synonyms - paper - deed - record - writing - act - instrument

[Middle English, precept, from Old French, from Latin documentum, example, proof, from docre, to teach; see dek- in Indo-European roots.]

Who is responsible for the manufacture of value?

Based on what supercilious ontology have we landed in a space where we vie against other creative people in vain pursuit of the fleeting credibilities of the scarcity economy, rather than freely collaborating and sharing openly with each other in ecstatic celebration of MAKING?

While we understand and acknowledge the economic pressures and fear-mongering that threatens to dominate and crush the creative impulse, we also believe that now more than ever we have the tools to relinquish agency via cooperative means, fueled by the fires of the Open Source Movement.

Looking out across the invisible vistas of that rhizomatic parallel country we can begin to see our community beyond constraints, in the place where intention meets resilient, proactive, collaborative organization.

Here is a document born of that belief, sown purely of imagination and will. When we document we assert. We print to make real, to reify our being there. When we do so with mindful intention to address our process, to open our work to others, to create beauty in words in space, to respect and acknowledge the strength of the page we now hold physical, a thing in our hand, we remind ourselves that, like Dorothy: we had the power all along, my dears. the PRINT! DOCUMENT SERIES is a project of the trouble with bartleby in collaboration with the operating system