Conservatives at Prayer

T H E R A D L E Y C O L L E G E CHRONICLE Vol. II No. 2 31 October 2005 CONSERVATIVES AT PRAYER The Church of England is a wondrous thing. Within its not with me is against me.’ (Matthew 12:30) baggy confines it includes gay vicars, and vicars who High Churchers, though, believe firmly that if you believe nothing at all; bishops who deny the Virgin mostly do the right things with good intentions, you Birth; happy-clappy tambourine-wavers; vestment- will be all right in the end (whether you will have to queens who make the Pope look dowdy; incense atone for your sins by spending a bit of time in addicts; gospel choirs; Carols from King’s College, purgatory first – the Roman Catholic line – is a moot Cambridge on Christmas Eve; women priests; those point). The classic text supporting this is the Epistle of who think women can’t be priests at all; nuns in grey St James, which used to be one of our regular morning habits; reformed hookers (some of them nuns, too); bible readings. The High Church approach is about and, of course, the Chapel of Radley College. doing things as a group, at church; the personal Many would say this breadth is its strength, though the moment of revelation is not needed. ‘He who is not good old C of E is particularly fond of believing two against us is for us.’ (Mark 9:40) contradictory things at once, like the White Queen in Radley was founded in the wake of the Oxford Alice’s Adventures Through the Looking Glass who Movement, a period which saw the Church of England ‘once believed as many as six impossible things before swing from Low to High Church in a generation. breakfast.’ Thus they came to the famous compromise Robed choirs and priests’ vestments were popping up that says that while women priests are a good thing, if like daisies; churches that had managed perfectly well you don’t agree that’s OK too, and you don’t have to. with a music group (not quite guitars and keyboards, Most congregations, though, try to steer a course but the 18th century equivalent) suddenly installed through the flotsam and pursue some sort of coherent organs. Radleians were even expected to fast on set of beliefs within the wide variety available. Wednesdays and Fridays (that didn’t last long, Traditionally these are broadly divided into High and inevitably), to attend Chapel twice daily, and to wear Low (approximating to ‘catholic’, with a small ‘c’, and white surplices over their suits on Sundays. The ‘evangelical’). The caricatures: High Churchers like Chapel was, from the beginning, the biggest, most ‘bells & smells’ – incense, fancy clothes for the clergy, important and most expensive building in College. impressive music and complex worship in which the And Radley has always continued vaguely upwards of congregation does relatively little; Low Churchers centre; never extremist, never pseudo-Papist, always hold their hands in the air while solidly respectable. The High Church singing, turn up in jeans and a ripped ‘…the typical Radleian way rather suits the typical, T-shirt, and have a strange fondness conservative (with another small ‘c’) for carpets and OHPs in church. would rather die than Radleian, who would rather die than talk about whether he talk about whether he is saved or not But it runs a little deeper than that. (or whether he ‘knows Jesus’, as a The Low Church approach to religion ‘knows Jesus’…’ recent preacher was asking). He much is a very personal one. You are either saved or damned prefers to ‘do the right thing’, sing along to a few good – there is no middle way. Believers have to experience hymns in Chapel, and leave all that embarrassing stuff a conversion, see the light, tell everyone about it, share to the Christian Forum. their redemption with the world. Everyone who is not saved, or born again in this way is damned. ‘He who is Who’s to say he’s not right? - – - I N S I D E – - - Social Stereotypes page 22 • Opinion Poll page 23 • Michaelmas Reds page 24 • Harry Potter 6 page 30 An Interview with DFL page 32 • Haddon Cup Review page 36 • Correspondence page 40 and much more… 31 October 2005 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE SOCIAL STEREOTYPES A new, occasional series profiling well-known Radley types that may be lurking in a social near you... 1. THE ROWER Henry has to admit he had mixed feelings about the river in his first few terms at Radley. He was an uncomplicated fellow. For him the simple pleasure of messing about in boats was clouded by the utterly wretched pain of training, which always seemed to take place in intolerable extremes of weather – burning heat (is the river that much closer to the equator than the rest of college?), shrivelling cold, gale-force winds whistling up the valley from Abingdon, or a monsoon (rain seems much wetter at the river, somehow). Henry, being from a distinguished military line of Ffarquarsons, persevered nonetheless, as his family was bred to do in times of hardship, and eventually was rewarded with his own set of red Lycra undergarments. These, and two weeks at the rowing- and-revision camp at Banyoles in Spain (‘Sun, Sand and Suffering’), changed everything. His cherished Lycra offered welcome relief from some unusually- placed blisters and allowed Henry at last to show off his newly tanned and sculpted lines to other members Henry hopes to beat his PB. It’ll mean that his WWI of the Boat Club in a way that was alluring yet socially coursework is late again, but Henry is confident that acceptable. he has his priorities sorted. The word on the rafts is, the History tutor at Edinburgh waves you in if you put He holds RCBC’s Maltese cross and motto – ergo on the UCAS form that you can pull a “6:40 with ergo sum (‘I erg therefore I am’) – very close to his negative splits”. heart. Literally, in fact, since it is emblazoned in Radley Red on the breast of every piece of boat club EDWARD CHALK kit. Fleeces, splash tops, cut-aways, ‘beaters’, tracksuits – it’s all ‘free on the bill’ and jolly desirable stuff. The girls of St Stephanie’s swoon when they see FIRST IMPRESSIONS… him sporting it casually over Leave Away in Meribel After six weeks here we asked a cross-section of the or Caffé Nero on the King’s Road. Shells what their impressions of Radley were so far. In his last Michaelmas at Radley, Henry looks back The comments of more than 30 Shells from different and chuckles at the prejudice he once felt towards wet socials are scattered through this issue. bobs. He used to find their constant talk of ‘Ks’ and ‘splits’ intimidating and then, once the mystique had worn off, tedious. Now, of course, these numbers rule “The sport is good, especially the rugby.” his life, and his favourite sounds are the whirr of a fan with a pounding ’80s dance track and the squeak of an “My first impressions were mixed. The seniors were un-oiled Concept II seat. Henry is often found trying much kinder than I expected – my Dad had told me to convert non-rowers to his statistical nirvana over stories of when he was here [in the same social].” huge plates of high-carb pasta at supper. He’s never had much success, but if there is one thing that rowing teaches you – probably no more than one thing, though “All my lessons have gone well and I like all my – it’s an irrational determination to achieve utterly teachers. Super Sixes is great fun on Wednesday.” impossible goals. Tonight there’s an unofficial 2K test in the ergo shack “When I first arrived everything seemed so big. But during prep, and after his 6.45 warm up this morning when I had settled in the opportunities became and two bottles of Lucozade in the afternoon, endless.” 22 THE RADLEY COLLEGE CHRONICLE 31 October 2005 A POLL ABOUT THE SHELLS becoming about 15% less intimidating year on year’. Let’s try to hit the 20% mark next year. The Shells have been here for seven weeks now – Another question still plagues us, though. The Shells enough time to impress us, annoy us, or remain hidden are evidently getting an easier time of it nowadays but in Social Hall. We have asked 50 of the rest of the is this beneficial to their education? Tom Browns school some questions about their Shell experiences. would answer ‘yes’ but a few Flashmans, if any are The results, we are sure, will astound you… still around in these enlightened times, may disagree. Did you enjoy your Shell year? ‘SS’ Yes: 30%, No: 62%, Undecided: 8% The Chronicle aims to publish an opinion poll every Were you homesick in the Shells? issue. The size of the sample interviewed is usually 50. Yes: 12%, No: 86%, Undecided: 2% If any readers have suggestions of topics or questions to include in future polls, please let us know at Do Shells respect the older years as much as you did? [email protected]. Yes: 8%, No: 78%, Undecided: 14% Did you feel intimidated by the older years when you were a Shell? Yes: 54%, No: 40%, Undecided: 6% OVERHEARD… Should Shells be punished by the prefects more than by the dons? An occasional column devoted to quotes from around Yes: 64%, No: 26%, Undecided: 10% College.

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