Towards an H.P. Lovecraft Telephone Alphabet

De Blauwe Schicht∗

October 16, 2013

Abstract This paper is a proposal for an H.P. Lovecraft-themed telephone alphabet, for the benefit of what may remain of humanity when the Earth has been brought beneath the sway of the Great Old Ones once again. The possibilities of a number of popular schemes are explored, including character’s names, topography, and adjectives, with some elucidation where the author deemed such to be necessary.

1 Introduction The twentieth century author H.P. Lovecraft pointed out [3] Mishearing of spoken information that members of various species of can be caused by noisy environments, extraterrestrial beings, collectively limited bandwidth of communication known as the Great Old Ones, ruled channels, or propagation losses. In the Earth for aeons before the rise such circumstances some means is re- of Man. A number of these now lie quired to prevent misinterpretation sleeping in an ancient, sunken city of messages. The development of named R’lyeh, allegedly located in telephone alphabets, also known as the Southern Pacific Ocean. It is spelling or radio alphabets, accom- suggested that when these suppos- panied the advent of radio and tele- edly very powerful creatures awake phone communications around the they will reclaim sovereignty over turn of the twentieth century [1]; the Earth, and that the future of these alphabets remain in use today mankind will be rendered forfeit as an aid to ensure the undistorted therewith. passing of messages. Many variants exist to facili- While we could optimistically tate different professional cultures, imagine that some small portion of scripts, and languages (including the human population might survive phenomena such as ø and ch). Per- that apocalypse, it is fair to assume haps the most prominent of these that communication will be difficult is the NATO phonetic alphabet [2] and hampered by the global destruc- (Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, etc.). tion of familiar infrastructure caused ∗e-mail: [email protected].

1 by the rising Old Ones. For this rea- For example, for A we find three son, an appropriate telephone alpha- prominent names: Akeley, Alhazred, bet will certainly be convenient. This and Angell. All three are known from telephone alphabet should be rele- the Mythos, but while Al- vant to mankind’s predicament and, hazred is regarded as horrible and if possible, conducive to understand- Angell’s fate is terrible, Akeley gives ing between Old Ones and humans. us the best acrophonic match (that is, the first letter of the pronounced word is most similar to the associated 2 Proposed alphabets letter). In this manner we arrive at Individual telephone alphabets fre- “A for Akeley”. Results for all cate- quently are made up of words in a gories are enumerated in Table 1. certain theme. Often they are made up of proper nouns, traditional first The Nomenclature Category names or city names [1]. Other pos- In the the names sibilities are adjectives and nomen- of various strange creatures are re- clature from some literary body or vealed. These beings have been de- mythological framework. For our scribed as being exceedingly horri- current objective, we draw from the ble and therefore are conveniently works of H.P. Lovecraft, which form memorable as well. The Nomencla- the foundation of the famous Cthulhu ture alphabet is compiled using the Mythos. names of some of the most notable Old Ones. Method The extraterrestrial origin of the For this first attempt we have es- Old Ones gives rise to some concerns tablished four different thematic cat- in the compilation of this alphabet. egories: Nomenclature, Person, To- Notably the true names of pography, and Adjective. Our ap- and Yog-Sothoth are said to be un- proach is to read any Lovecraft story pronounceable by humans [5] due to that we have available—for instance dissimilar evolution of vocal chords of [3] and [4]—and collect any speci- humans and Old Ones. However, the mens therein that fit in the aformen- rendering into regular written speech tioned categories (further elaborated does not give rise to incompatible upon in subsequent sections). variation in pronunciation and we If multiple candidates are found therefore take these to be sufficiently for a single letter in one of the cate- consistent. In contrast, the name gories, further selection is made using of arguably the most celebrated Old three criteria. In order of decreasing One, frequently written as Cthulhu, weight they are has presently been omitted from the alphabet, as the spelling of the name • Is it Lovecraftian? of that Great Priest varies consider- • Is it acrophonic? ably in places. One notable exam- • Is it horrible/terrible? ple is the spelling used for the song

2 The Call of Ktulu by metal band The Person Category Metallica, potentially giving rise to For the Person alphabet all named confusion among metal fans due to human characters in the part of the its popularity there (“Pardon me, Lovecraft canon under scrutiny, and but is that C for Cthulhu or K for closely related to its evolution were Ktulu?”). considered1. Protagonists, antago- nists, and historic and legendary fig- ures were treated alike. Vessels’ names are included here as well.

Table 1: Four themed telephone alphabets, partially incomplete (see text). Letter Nomenclature Person Topography Adjective A Azathoth Akeley Antedeluvian B - Brinton Brattleboro Brooding C - Castro Cosmos Cyclopean D Dyer Disembodied E Elder Things Emma Exham Priory Eldritch F - Fort Fish Street Fossiliferous G - Goodenough Gilman House Gibbous H Halsey Hyperborea Horrible I I¨a - Immense J - Johansen - Jurassic K Klarkash-Ton Kuranes Kadath Kaleidoscopic L - Lovecraft Leng Plateau Loathsome M Mi-Go Moulton Miskatonic Mausolean N Noyes New England Non-Euclidean O Old Ones Orne Ooth-Nargai Organic P - Pierce Providence Protoplasmic Q - - - Quivering R - Rice R’lyeh Remote S Soames Salem Stygian T Thurston Tartarus Terrible U - - Ulthar Unutterable V - Vigilant Vermont Vivid W - Wilmarth - Weird X - - - Xenophobic Y Yog-Sothoth - Yuggoth Yawning Z Zoog Zadok Zakarion Zodiacal

1It is interesting to note that the letter W features prominently as initial among im- portant characters in the Cthulhu Mythos. Wilmarth, West, Ward, Wilcox, Whateley.

3 The Topography Category Table 2: Combined alphabet. A for Akeley Topography plays an important role B for Brattleboro as an atmospheric element in the sto- C for Cyclopean ries. While reading, it seems to us D for Dagon that towns and geographical features E for Eldritch become actors in their own right, and F for Fish Street subsequently a mere mentioning of G for Gibbous any of their names induces an omi- H for Hyperborea nous feeling of sinisterness and hor- I for Innsmouth ror, the character of which resem- J for Jurassic bles that which accompanies the Old K for Kaleidoscopic Ones themselves, albeit perhaps in L for Lovecraft lesser magnitude. M for Miskatonic N for Non-Euclidean The Adjective Category O for Old Ones One of the most characteristic and P for Providence exciting features of Lovecraft’s work Q for Quivering is the abundance of adjectives. We R for R’lyeh may even go so far as to say that as S for Shoggoth long as the stories will be read, the T for Tartarus continuing existence of dictionaries U for Unutterable should be guaranteed. Obdurate, el- V for Vigilant dritch, and non-Euclidean are exam- W for Weird ples of narrative ornamentation that X for Xenophobic will entice many a reader to read Y for Yuggoth on and search for more, even as Z for Zadok encounters the dreaded Mi-Go, who leer at us from distant Yuggoth. 4 Afterword

3 Combined Alphabet Future work on this subject is likely to mainly consist of maintenance Some of the alphabets in Table 1 of the tables; the remaining empty are presently incomplete, but we may slots in Table 1 may be filled us- construct a combined and complete ing material from presently unpro- Lovecraft Telephone Alphabet in- cessed Lovecraft stories or the works volving the four proposed categories of other authors who expanded upon using the criteria discussed in the the Cthulhu Mythos. The combined previous chapter to further reduce alphabet should also be thoroughly ambiguity. A first attempt is given tested for phonetic ambiguities in in Table 2 (also denoted as bold en- order to establish a truly robust tries in Table 1). Lovecraft Telephone Alphabet. This may mean that hereafter entries will

4 be chosen from the entire uncatego- alphabet. rized pool of terms from the Cthulhu URL: http://en.wikipedia. Mythos rather than the segmented org/wiki/NATO_phonetic_ approach employed here, to achieve alphabet. the greater dynamic range in terms of phonetic variety, cadences, and num- [3] H.P. Lovecraft, edited by S.T. ber of syllables. Joshi (1999). and Other Weird Sto- References ries. London: Penguin Classics, 1999. [1] Wikipedia (consulted on 2013/09/18). Spelling alphabet. [4] H.P. Lovecraft (1936). At the Mountains of Madness. URL: http://en.wikipedia. Toronto: Prohyptikon, 2010. org/wiki/Spelling_ alphabet. [5] A Wyrd Documentary (2008). [2] Wikipedia (consulted on Lovecraft, Fear of the Unknown. 2013/10/16). NATO phonetic Wyrd Studios.

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