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Crossing the Road, Or What's a Nice Lesbian Feminist Like You Doing in a Place Like This?

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Crossing the Road, Or What's a Nice Lesbian Feminist Like You Doing in a Place Like This? NARRATIVES Crossing the Road, or What's a Nice Lesbian Feminist Like You Doing in a Place Like This? This narrative follows the author's journey in teaching Leslie Feinberg's Stone Butch Blues and teaching about the death of Brandon Teena, a person born biologically female but who lived a chosen male identity and who was murdered in Nebraska for that choice. Through reading, class discussion, student journals, and especially events such as the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, speeches by transgender activists, and a rally in support of Brandon Teena, the author moves in her teaching from "add transgender and stir" to a conceptual framework which affects the way she sees everything. Her teaching transforms her. by tiven when I am reluc- "womyn-born-womyn" were Barbara DiBernard tant to follow, my teaching leads allow^ed, excluding transsexual me to the places I need to go. women. I had followed the de- Barbara DiBernard teaches One sunny day in the summer bate in the national lesbian women's literature at the of 1994 I found myself leaving press, but I remained unmoved, University of Nebraska at the grounds of the Michigan sure in my identity politics that Lincoln, where she is also Womyn's Music Festival and I knew what both "woman" and Director of the Women's crossing the county road to "lesbian" meant. I agreed with Studies Program. "Camp Trans," a camp of the argument that male to fe- transgender people and their male transsexuals had been so- allies who were there to protest cialized as males, and therefore the Festival's exclusion of trans- would still be male in some im- sexual women. I was keenly mutable way. But this year aware of the wrist-band that a when we were in line waiting to worker had put around my enter the Festival, a woman wrist when I entered the Festi- handed me a flyer from Camp val, the sign that would also al- Trans which announced that low me back in. I didn't want both Leslie Feinberg and Minnie to cross the road, to acknowl- Bruce Pratt were going to be edge the privilege that sepa- there, and I knew I would have rated me from those who were to be there too. on the other side, because I A week after I returned knew it w^ould entail some deep from the Festival I w^ould be and difficult changes, but my teaching a new course I had de- teaching compelled me. signed, "20th Century Lesbian The camp had been Writers." The final book on the there the year before too, but I syllabus was Leslie Feinberg's had ignored it. A sign read Stone Butch Blues. When I read "Honk if you support Camp the book for the first time, I was Trans," but I didn't honk or look. stunned beyond what I had ex- Aware of the controversy over pected. I found Feinberg's de- transsexuals not being allowed piction of Jess' life as someone into the Festival, I supported the whom others could not defini- producers' stance that only tively identify as male or female REFLECTIONS: WINTER 1998 39 CROSSING THE ROAD NARRATIVES powerful and moving. And I about a mile walk from our larger culture, and therefore was chagrined to recognize campsite. I could have taken tbe within ourselves, about sex and some of my own views in those festival shuttle, but it seemed gender fluidity," that "every as- of the lesbian feminists who re- important to walk. I took some pect of a person's gender expres- ject Jess and Theresa for being of the less traveled paths sion and sex will not be consis- too butch and femme, who see through the woods. Some I tently either masculine or femi- them as imitating hetero- hadn't been on for years, since nine, man or woman" (pp. 20- sexuality and thus not being my first days at the festival, and 21). worthy of inclusion in the les- some I had never been on. I was While Minnie Bruce was bian feminist community. I felt very conscious of leaving the fes- reading, I recognized Leslie it was important to teach the tival, crossing the dirt county Feinberg sitting in tbe audience. book, which challenged some of road to enter Camp Trans. I was Several times she got up and my long-held beliefs, and it was also aware that my wristband left, returning a few minutes important for me to meet Leslie allowed me to re-enter the festi- later. When Minnie Bruce was Feinberg. val, while many of the women I done, Leslie said, "I'm sorry to I had learned much from met at Camp Trans wouldn't tell you this publicly, but we'll reading and teaching the work bave that privilege. I felt awk- have to change our plane reser- of Minnie Bruce Pratt as well. I ward and a little nervous. vations and take another flight found her work so important People were sitting around a because we've been told we can that I had invited her to speak campfire eating breakfast, and enter the festival." She ex- in Lincoln three years before; offered me porridge. Some plained that several members of she had given a powerful read- people introduced themselves Camp Trans had been meeting ing and had provoked much or introduced other people to with festival staff, and while at thought among the people I me. I spotted Minnie Bruce off first they were told tbat trans- knew. Since Minnie Bruce was talking witb some folks, but was sexuals could not enter, later a lesbian feminist who had too shy to remind her that I had tbey were told tbat each woman helped me think about how a met her in Lincoln in 1991. Fi- entering the festival could de- white woman could do anti-rac- nally, after what seemed like a cide if the "womyn-born- ist work, I knew that if she was long time, people moved toward womyn" policy was applicable thinking about transgender is- the workshop tent, and Minnie to her. So a number of women, sues, I needed to think about Bruce began to speak. She spoke including some transsexuals, them, and that she could belp of her new understanding of were going to pay the fee and me see what it was I had to do. transgender and read from her enter the festival. There was a I knew I had to visit upcoming book, S/HE. As with great feeling of excitement, of Camp Trans if I were to teach her lesbian and antiracist writ- herstory being made. I felt Stone Butch Blues as responsibly ing, she used a new lens to look privileged to be there, but I still as I could. back over her life, this time a felt confused and not part of this On the announced day, I transgender lens. In S/HE, Pratt community. What did it mean walked out to Camp Trans, writes of "the deep fear in the to me as a lesbian feminist to have transsexuals cross the road in the other direction and enter the festival? Wben I returned home, my story of "crossing the road" to enter Camp Trans emerged as the most important part of the festival for me. I told the story over and over to friends, trying to find its meaning for myself as 40 REFLECTIONS: WINTER 1998 CROSSING THE ROAD NARRATIVES well. I discussed it with friends clear that he believed that any- lesbians, that she didn't think it who worked at the festival and one who would "lie" about her was right.' He said Brandon firmly supported the producers' sex couldn't be trusted to tell the told him, 'It's not okay for me original stance. What for me truth about other things. Sheriff to love women as a woman. I was exciting and potentially life- Charles Laux stated: "What have to be a man if I'm going to changing for them was a be- kind of person was she? The love women'" (Minkowitz, 1994, trayal. But I was unclear about first few times we arrested her p. 28). A January 4,1994 article many things. When I read that she was putting herself off as a in the Lincoln Journal had the a pre-operative transsexual guy. We were trying to figure headline "Friend says victim woman had entered the festival out when she was telling the planned sex change" and the I also felt betrayed. Where truth and when she wasn't" sub-heading "Lincoln woman would it stop? Could we have (Minkowitz, 1994, p. 25). The believes Brandon was killed for all-women gatherings anymore? night of the rape these two men cross-dressing." In it, Jo Ann If a penis wasn't the divider be- had pulled down Teena's pants Fleming, who "took Brandon tween man and woman, what in front of someone Brandon into her home for a few months was? was dating, to show her that the in early 1992," told reporters: But I was also plunged person she was dating was a fe- "Teena Brandon was a trans- immediately into my teaching, male, not a male. sexual who had been encour- which included the first-time As I began to realize but aged by mental health experts to teaching of "20th Century Les- still not fully understand the dress and live as a man in prepa- bian Writers." The reading list importance of this event, I col- ration for undergoing sex included two stories of trans- lected all of the articles about it change surgery" (Stoddard & gender people, Feinberg's novel which appeared in the local pa- Duggan,1994, p.
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