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“A Golden Rule of Relationships” Matthew 7:7-12 October 28, 2012 I have served as a pastor for nearly twenty-seven years in only two different churches. There are two men who have had a significant impact on my life in relation to those two pastorates. Fresh out of seminary in 1981 my friend and mentor, Bill Rogers, sent a letter of recommendation on my behalf to First Baptist Church of Flatwoods, KY. They took a chance and I was their pastor for 12 1/2 years. And then in 1993 another man put his reputation on the line and recommended me to Georgetown Baptist Church. That friend was Steve Hadden. I served that good church for 14 years. So, for Steve and I to sort of ‘re-connect’ through Midway Baptist Church for these weeks has been an honor and a blessing for me. And, we will not be strangers. Beth and I consider Midway one of ‘our churches’ now. So whenever you need a soloist, a substitute pianist (when ‘the baby comes’!), or a one night concert. .you just call my agent. Our scripture lesson today is: [Matthew 7:7-12] For six weeks we have talked about how we relate to one another. I don’t know about you, but I know that I have been convicted, and have done a measure of self-examination in my own relationship world. Relationships -- from the most intimate. .your spouse; to those ‘momentary encounters’ with the driver in the car next to you. They ALL matter!! I want to say again how grateful I am for the resource tool used during this series. Tom Holladay’s book, The Relationship Principles of Jesus, has been an insightful and helpful study. He would challenge you and me to prayerfully consider what life would look like if we began to live out in all our relationships the kind of love Jesus taught. • Place the highest value on relationships. • Love as Jesus loves you. • Communicate form the heart. • As you judge, you will be judged. • The greatest are the servants. Today we look at one verse. One statement that Jesus made which in essence sums up the entire Sermon on the Mount. Actually, it sums up the entirety of the Law and Prophets. As a young boy I remember these words being printed on rulers and bookmarks. We called it the Golden Rule. In Matthew 7:12 Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Dr. Leo Eddleman, professor and pastor and one-time President of Georgetown College; said: “Just ask yourself the question, ‘Now how would I want him/her to treat me if I were in his/her place and they in mine?’ This elementary process often will get the right answer more quickly than prayer!” Hey, it’s just that simple isn’t it? Yeah, right!! These words of Jesus may indeed be simply stated but they are also profound and challenging and, I would add, more than a little bit frightening. I like what Michael Green said in his commentary on Matthew’s Gospel. He says that the words in Matthew 7:1-12 (and I would add the entirety of the Sermon on the Mount) hint at a complex web of relationships within the kingdom. Jesus’ concern is that our allegiance to the kingdom should be manifest in all of our relationships. Once we are right with the Father, our relationships with other people are inevitably affected too. Then Michael Green says that the final verse (vs. 12) and the final set of relationships Jesus mentions is the most demanding and all-embracing. Matthew 7:12 describes the generous and self-sacrificial attitude of the disciple to everybody he or she meets. It is one of the most famous things Jesus ever said, and it is without parallel in the teachings of the world. There is some sort of a parallel for most of the things Jesus said in some ethical teacher or other person if you rummage deep enough and range widely enough, but not for these words. I. Jesus on Relationships: Church, let me remind you where we’ve been these past six weeks. It ALL boils down to being about ‘relationships’. Don’t forget that! Jesus said for us to start here: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength; . .and love your neighbor as you love yourself. There are no commandments more important than these.” [Mark 12:29-31] That is where we start. And for some it is enough. Yet, because we are human and sin-bent, we seek to justify ourselves, our actions, our thoughts. We ask like the one who heard Jesus that day, “Well,...who is my neighbor?” And Jesus says to his children, “Well if the great commandments are not clear enough for you, let me give you a New Commandment.” Do this: “Love one another, as I have loved you, love one another” [John 13:34]. And they, like we, request of Jesus an example. Some ‘what ifs’, so to speak. And Jesus says to them, and to us, “Watch how you communicate, for ‘out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks’.” [Matt. 12:34] And, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” [Matt. 7:1-2] Oh, and please don’t forget this; “The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” [Matt. 23:11-12] And, if that were not enough, Jesus says to you and me: Let me wrap it up for you in one nice and neat little - and unimaginably difficult - package. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” [Luke 6:31; Matt. 7:12] II. This ‘Golden Rule’ - the keynote for our relationships with others. Do you remember early in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5:17) that Jesus said he did not come to abolish the law and the prophets, but rather he came to fulfill them. The Golden Rule is the distilled essence of that ‘fulfillment’. But unlike other ancient sages or religions, Jesus does what they do not. He puts it in positive form. There is a negative edition of this ‘Golden Rule’ to be found in the teachings of Confucius. When asked for a one-word rule of life, he replied, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” But that is not nearly as demanding and challenging as the positive form that Jesus gives his disciples as the keynote for their relationships with others. Tom Holladay says that consciously or unconsciously some of us live by ‘other rules’. For instance: A. The Reciprocal Rule: It says, “Whatever you do for me, that’s what I’ll do for you; you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” It is a rule based on selfishness, not service. B. The Ricochet Rule: “Do to someone based on what some other person has done to you. The way I’ve been treated in other relationships controls the way I treat you in our relationship.” This can be manifest in your home. Wow, can it ever! Bad day at work, or school? Watch out wife, husband, son or daughter, cat or dog. It can emerge at work, school, or in the car. C. There’s the Hidden Motive Rule: “I act like I’m doing it for you, but it’s really to get what I want.” Christian, you don’t want to live like that, not really. All of our games and rules pale alongside the simple words of Jesus. The Message, by Eugene Peterson states Matthew 7:12 this way: “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them”. Do you sincerely desire to transform your relationships? Then embrace this rule for LIFE! Listen, let’s be honest here. Remember, I’m more than a bit confessional. If you are like me, there is a question that’s on your mind: “How do I get my needs met in this relationship?” Because, folks, as unselfish as we may become, we still have needs --- and we wonder how these needs will get met. Here’s the big answer to that big question: “I must give myself to meeting others’ needs if I am to get my needs met!” That is another one of those ‘it doesn’t make sense’ Biblical truths. But I do believe that Jesus is looking us lovingly in our eyes this morning and saying, “Trust Me.” III. Trusting Jesus In My Relationships. What about trusting Jesus, trusting God, in your relationships. Will you trust God? Your relationships --- with your husband, wife, former spouse, son or daughter, mom or dad, boss, your employee, your teacher, your pupil, the grumpy neighbor, the Democrat, the Republican, the driver in the car next to you. We can trust Jesus. You can trust Jesus. Picture him on the cross giving his life for you. Hearing the jeers and rants. Feeling the agonizing pain. Hear him praying, “Father, not my will but your will be done.” Then remember that the Golden Rule is a picture of the true nature of love.