“A Golden Rule of Relationships” Matthew 7:7-12 October 28, 2012

I have served as a pastor for nearly twenty-seven years in only two different churches. There are two men who have had a significant impact on my life in relation to those two pastorates. Fresh out of seminary in 1981 my friend and mentor, Bill Rogers, sent a letter of recommendation on my behalf to First Baptist Church of Flatwoods, KY. They took a chance and I was their pastor for 12 1/2 years. And then in 1993 another man put his reputation on the line and recommended me to Georgetown Baptist Church. That friend was Steve Hadden. I served that good church for 14 years. So, for Steve and I to sort of ‘re-connect’ through Midway Baptist Church for these weeks has been an honor and a blessing for me.

And, we will not be strangers. Beth and I consider Midway one of ‘our churches’ now. So whenever you need a soloist, a substitute pianist (when ‘the baby comes’!), or a one night concert. . .you just call my agent.

Our scripture lesson today is:

[Matthew 7:7-12]

For six weeks we have talked about how we relate to one another. I don’t know about you, but I know that I have been convicted, and have done a measure of self-examination in my own relationship world. Relationships -- from the most intimate. . .your spouse; to those ‘momentary encounters’ with the driver in the car next to you. They ALL matter!!

I want to say again how grateful I am for the resource tool used during this series. Tom Holladay’s book, The Relationship Principles of Jesus, has been an insightful and helpful study. He would challenge you and me to prayerfully consider what life would look like if we began to live out in all our relationships the kind of love Jesus taught.

• Place the highest value on relationships. • Love as Jesus loves you. • Communicate form the heart. • As you judge, you will be judged. • The greatest are the servants.

Today we look at one verse. One statement that Jesus made which in essence sums up the entire Sermon on the Mount. Actually, it sums up the entirety of the Law and Prophets. As a young boy I remember these words being printed on rulers and bookmarks. We called it the Golden Rule. In Matthew 7:12 Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Dr. Leo Eddleman, professor and pastor and one-time President of Georgetown College; said: “Just ask yourself the question, ‘Now how would I want him/her to treat me if I were in his/her place and they in mine?’ This elementary process often will get the right answer more quickly than prayer!” Hey, it’s just that simple isn’t it? Yeah, right!! These words of Jesus may indeed

be simply stated but they are also profound and challenging and, I would add, more than a little bit frightening.

I like what Michael Green said in his commentary on Matthew’s Gospel. He says that the words in Matthew 7:1-12 (and I would add the entirety of the Sermon on the Mount) hint at a complex web of relationships within the kingdom. Jesus’ concern is that our allegiance to the kingdom should be manifest in all of our relationships. Once we are right with the Father, our relationships with other people are inevitably affected too.

Then Michael Green says that the final verse (vs. 12) and the final set of relationships Jesus mentions is the most demanding and all-embracing. Matthew 7:12 describes the generous and self-sacrificial attitude of the disciple to everybody he or she meets. It is one of the most famous things Jesus ever said, and it is without parallel in the teachings of the world. There is some sort of a parallel for most of the things Jesus said in some ethical teacher or other person if you rummage deep enough and range widely enough, but not for these words.

I. Jesus on Relationships: Church, let me remind you where we’ve been these past six weeks. It ALL boils down to being about ‘relationships’. Don’t forget that!

Jesus said for us to start here: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength; . . .and love your neighbor as you love yourself. There are no commandments more important than these.” [Mark 12:29-31] That is where we start. And for some it is enough.

Yet, because we are human and sin-bent, we seek to justify ourselves, our actions, our thoughts. We ask like the one who heard Jesus that day, “Well,...who is my neighbor?” And Jesus says to his children, “Well if the great commandments are not clear enough for you, let me give you a New Commandment.” Do this: “Love one another, as I have loved you, love one another” [John 13:34].

And they, like we, request of Jesus an example. Some ‘what ifs’, so to speak. And Jesus says to them, and to us, “Watch how you communicate, for ‘out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks’.” [Matt. 12:34] And, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” [Matt. 7:1-2] Oh, and please don’t forget this; “The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” [Matt. 23:11-12]

And, if that were not enough, Jesus says to you and me: Let me wrap it up for you in one nice and neat little - and unimaginably difficult - package. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” [Luke 6:31; Matt. 7:12]

II. This ‘Golden Rule’ - the keynote for our relationships with others.

Do you remember early in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5:17) that Jesus said he did not come to abolish the law and the prophets, but rather he came to fulfill them. The Golden Rule is the

distilled essence of that ‘fulfillment’. But unlike other ancient sages or religions, Jesus does what they do not. He puts it in positive form.

There is a negative edition of this ‘Golden Rule’ to be found in the teachings of Confucius. When asked for a one-word rule of life, he replied, “Is not reciprocity such a word? What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” But that is not nearly as demanding and challenging as the positive form that Jesus gives his disciples as the keynote for their relationships with others.

Tom Holladay says that consciously or unconsciously some of us live by ‘other rules’. For instance:

A. The Reciprocal Rule: It says, “Whatever you do for me, that’s what I’ll do for you; you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” It is a rule based on selfishness, not service. B. The Ricochet Rule: “Do to someone based on what some other person has done to you. The way I’ve been treated in other relationships controls the way I treat you in our relationship.” This can be manifest in your home. Wow, can it ever! Bad day at work, or school? Watch out wife, husband, son or daughter, cat or dog. It can emerge at work, school, or in the car. C. There’s the Hidden Motive Rule: “I act like I’m doing it for you, but it’s really to get what I want.”

Christian, you don’t want to live like that, not really. All of our games and rules pale alongside the simple words of Jesus. The Message, by Eugene Peterson states Matthew 7:12 this way: “Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them”. Do you sincerely desire to transform your relationships? Then embrace this rule for LIFE!

Listen, let’s be honest here. Remember, I’m more than a bit confessional. If you are like me, there is a question that’s on your mind: “How do I get my needs met in this relationship?” Because, folks, as unselfish as we may become, we still have needs --- and we wonder how these needs will get met. Here’s the big answer to that big question: “I must give myself to meeting others’ needs if I am to get my needs met!” That is another one of those ‘it doesn’t make sense’ Biblical truths. But I do believe that Jesus is looking us lovingly in our eyes this morning and saying, “Trust Me.”

III. Trusting Jesus In My Relationships.

What about trusting Jesus, trusting God, in your relationships. Will you trust God? Your relationships --- with your husband, wife, former spouse, son or daughter, mom or dad, boss, your employee, your teacher, your pupil, the grumpy neighbor, the Democrat, the Republican, the driver in the car next to you.

We can trust Jesus. You can trust Jesus. Picture him on the cross giving his life for you. Hearing the jeers and rants. Feeling the agonizing pain. Hear him praying, “Father, not my will but your will be done.” Then remember that the Golden Rule is a picture of the true nature of love. Love is not reciprocal; love is sacrificial. Love gives itself without waiting for others to give.

Listen! You and I can not do this on our own. We just can’t do it. It’s hard enough to be loving to my friends. So why does Jesus demand it of us? Because he also gives us truth to empower us. He said: What is humanly impossible is possible with God (Luke 18:27).

And here is another word of encouragement from Jesus. . .sort of!? In Luke’s gospel this Golden Rule verse is placed smack dab in the middle of some of Jesus’ most unbelievable statements (Lk. 6:27-38). Statements like, “Love your enemies”, “bless those who curse you”, “give to everyone who begs from you...”, “lend, and expect nothing in return”.

You are probably saying to yourself, “Okay Ken, where is this ‘encouragement’ from Jesus in Luke’s good news?” Glad you asked! Jesus encourages us by pointing to two amazing benefits to living his Golden Rule: “Your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High” (Luke 6:35 NLT).

It’s not as if we are ‘pretending’ so as to get a juicy heavenly reward or to boost our standing with God. We find encouragement in this promise of Jesus because we cannot live out this Golden Rule without God’s help and a heart like His. It will take a power from outside ourselves. Only Jesus can give the power to do what he taught us to do! But. . . as we have said most every week in this study; it is your choice. Will you choose to live out the ‘Jesus Rule’?

Tom Holladay says that you can be standing in front of Jesus and hear him say, “Here’s how I want you to live. Here’s what I want to give you the power to do. Take the first step. Watch what I can do in your life” ---but until you trust him with your fears, your doubts, your indecisions; you’re not going anywhere. It’s like the old hymn says, “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way; to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

IV. Next Steps.

“Do for others that which you would want them to do for you.” Jesus words in Matthew 7:12 are radical. To live them requires radical love. Remember, other great teachers had expressed a similar idea, but always in a negative form. The words of Confucius, “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.” But that is not nearly as demanding and challenging -- or rewarding -- as the positive form that Jesus gives his disciples.

Indeed, the negative form could become the basis for law - Do not steal. Do not kill. But you can never legislate to bring about what Jesus is teaching. You do it only if the love of the kingdom burns in your heart. It is one thing to say, “I must not harm others.” it is quite another to say, “I must go out of my way to help them.” The first could be fulfilled by inaction; the second only by self-sacrificial love -- the very thing that God evidenced in bringing people into his kingdom in the first place. [from Michael Green, The Message of Matthew]

This is what Jesus did for you and me. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). He did not just ‘leave us alone’. He chose to sacrificially love us. And he is calling us to live that way with others. Just begin to love. It’s radical. It’s vulnerable. It’s selfless. It was true for Jesus Christ. Why would it not be for you?

Relationships. The first and greatest commandment is to love God. The second commandment is to love your neighbor. The new commandment is to love one another. The Golden Rule, “Do to others as you would have them do to you”, is not golden unless it applies to everyone -- even your enemies. God, neighbors, one another, everyone --- that pretty much covers it.

Midway Baptist Church, God’s desire for you and me in all our relationships is to grow. His desire for us is to become more Christ-like every day by making the little changes that can make a huge difference. The Apostle Paul gives wise counsel as to the HOW. In Romans 12:1 of The Message, Paul says “So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life --- your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life --- and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.”

Friends, God wants to see his characteristics embodied in his servants. Like Father, like child. And nowhere is that more important, and more noticeable, than in our relationships.

AMEN.

Notes:

1) The Relationship Principles of Jesus, Tom Holladay, Zondervan Press, 2008. 2) The Bible Speaks Today: The Message of Matthew, Michael Green, Inter Varsity Press,2000. 3) Teachings of Jesus in Matthew 5-7, H. Leo Eddleman, Convention Press, 1955.