Transcript Amadeus Jones
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Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 1/7 Transcript Amadeus Jones Episode one By Mark R Hancock www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 2/7 (Title music with five second fade out) SCENE 1 VOICEOVER Hi, Amadeus Joes here. Yes, I know, what’s with the name? (Amadeus Don’t ask. My Dad was a crazy inventor and he gave me the Jones): name. Dad’s not around any more. He vanished about a year ago. Properly, actually vanished. I went to his laboratory with some tea and he just... whoomp! Gone! His laboratory is just how he left it, with all his cool stuff lying around. My favourites are Boris the hyper-intelligent watch. Oh and Dad’s time machine of course! It’s pretty cool where I live. There’s a chip shop, a gadget shop and all sorts of weird and crazy neighbours. Things happen around here. Strange things. For example, about two weeks ago... (Fade out to music) SCENE 2 (Title music for two seconds with fade in fade out) BORIS: Beep beep. Time to wake up Amadeus. Time to wake up. AMADEUS: (Groggy) Ugh, never use a robot as your alarm clock! What time is it, Boris? BORIS: 21st of July. AMADEUS: What time? BORIS: 2013 AMADEUS: Very clever, I mean what hour? BORIS: 7:30. AMADEUS: Too early! BORIS: Master Amadeus, time to get up. You start your new Saturday job today. AMADEUS: What day is it? www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 3/7 BORIS: Err... Saturday. That’s why I said you start your Saturday job today. AMADEUS: Remind me to reprogram your politeness circuits! (Sounds of getting out of bed and getting dressed) SCENE 3 (Chip shop noises) AMADEUS: Hi, I’m here for my first day helping out! SHIRLEY: I wouldn’t bother. The chip fryer’s broken. Since your Dad left nobody else can fix it! AMADEUS: Can’t you just turn the temperature down a bit? SHIRLEY: Of course not. It has to be 200 degrees centigrade, and then a quick burst at 210. There’s a science to it, you know. If only your Dad were here! AMADEUS: Yeah. SHIRLEY: I’m going to keep twiddling these dials and... there, how’s that? (Sound of increasing boiling noise) AMADEUS: Err, I think it’s going to explode! SHIRLEY: Arrghhhhh. (Huge exploding sound) VOICEOVER Suddenly the whole chip shop went blurry! My wristwatch (Amadeus turned bright green and everything faded. Then I noticed that it Jones): was me fading out. SHIRLEY: (Fading out) Amadeus, what’s going on? Where are you? (Time travel noises) SCENE 4 VOICEOVER And suddenly, I was… still in the chip shop. But it seemed... (Amadeus different. Old fashioned. Jones): I looked at Shirley and she was smiling but looking scared at the same time. www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 4/7 AMADEUS: Shirley, it’s okay, it’s me, Amadeus! NANCY: Who are you and where did you come from? And why are you calling me Shirley? I’m Nancy. VOICEOVER I was confused. I switched BORIS back on. (Amadeus Jones): AMADEUS: BORIS, what year is it? BORIS: 1942. The date is 26th of July. The time is… AMADEUS: Shush, I don’t want to know the time. What happened? BORIS: Well, you must have been in some kind of danger. Your father programmed me to activate the time machine if that happened. It was set to take you back far enough back in time that you’d be safe. AMADEUS: To another chip shop? That’s hardly safe is it? What if this one explodes? BORIS: There is a 99.9 per cent chance that it won’t. AMADEUS: I’m no good at maths! BORIS: (Sighing) Don’t worry. Those are very good statistics. AMADEUS: Okay. What should I do now? BORIS: Try to blend in. AMADEUS: How am I supposed to do that? What should I talk about? Chips? BORIS: Yes, I’ll flash some interesting chip facts on my screen and you say them to Shirley. I mean Nancy. AMADEUS: Okay… go. (Sound of digital typing on screen) NANCY: Stop muttering to yourself, lad. What can I do for you? AMADEUS: Did you know that the first fish and chip shop in London was opened by Joseph Malin, in 1860? NANCY: Really? AMADEUS: Oh yes. It’s a well known fact. He was a Jewish refugee from Portugal. www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 5/7 NANCY: Yes. I did know that, as it happens. But did you know that Thomas Jefferson, third President of the United States, wrote he had eaten ‘fried fish in the Jewish fashion’ after visiting England? AMADEUS: Wha..? NANCY: Look lad, I sell chips, I ain’t got time to stand here talking to you about them! Although, as it happens, I know about the history of fish and chip shops. Even wrote a little book about it once. Did you know that fish and chips became popular in Britain as more trawlers were fishing in the North Sea? And, because of the railways. They connected ports, where the fish came in from the trawlers, to the major cities. AMADEUS: Er no. NANCY: Yeah, so fresh fish could be transported quickly all over the country before it went off. Nobody wants smelly old fish with their chips, do they? AMADEUS: I guess not. But did you know it was Samuel Isaacs who first half past three? NANCY: Half past three? What are you on about? AMADEUS: Boris, you’re being a normal watch again! BORIS: Sorry sir. NANCY: Are you on about Samuel Isaacs, who ran opened the first fish restaurant in 1896? He charged nine pence for fish and chips, bread and butter plus a lovely cup of tea. It was so popular that in no time he had a whole load of restaurants around the south of Britain. AMADEUS: Like a chain of takeaways? NANCY: What’s a takeaway? VOICEOVER That’s when I remembered I was still in 1942. And I had to still (Amadeus find a way to get back home. I had to keep Shirley... I mean Jones): Nancy, talking and work out a way to stop the chip shop exploding in the future. It seemed impossible. www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 6/7 All I could remember was during the Second World War everything was rationed because there was so little food. If you wanted to buy food, you used a little booklet that the Government gave you. A kid like me would only be allowed 454 g of chocolate every month. Which sounds like a lot, but really, it’s the same as seven little bars, or two big bars. If you had some really hard homework you’d get through the lot in one night! I looked down at Boris, who’d started to type. AMADEUS: So, Shirley... NANCY! The er, chip shop business must be doing well, despite the war, no rationing? NANCY: For a kid, you know a lot. Where are your parents? AMADEUS: In 2013. NANCY: Is that the fancy new café on Cludge Street? AMADEUS: Err, yeah. NANCY: Nice. They have rationing there you know. Of course, being a fish and chip shop, we don’t. When the fish comes in, the queue out of that door sometimes goes all round the block. I bet they don’t have a machine that’s on its last legs. I swear this machine is going to explode and there’ll be chaos. AMADEUS: You should probably change it then? NANCY: What it needs is a really good mechanic to sort the temperature gauge. VOICEOVER And that’s when I remembered. Of course! My great grandad (Amadeus lived near here. Dad had told me how he’d learnt all his gadget Jones): wizardry from him. AMADEUS: You should go and see Eddie Jones. He’s a genius with gadgets, they say. NANCY: Eddie Jones? I’ll pop and see him then. Thanks. AMADEUS: Pleasure. NANCY: Hey, are you all right? You’ve gone all fadey and weird! (Time travel noises) www.springboardstories.co.uk/issue3 © Springboard Stories 2013 Springboard Stories Issue 3: Food 7/7 SCENE 5 VOICEOVER I’ll tell you right now, I screamed. Time travel feels like being (Amadeus pushed down a slide while trying to do maths and juggle a Jones): hedgehog - all at the same time. I arrived back in my own time with a bump. Then I shouted at Nancy. AMADEUS: Quick take cover! It’s all going to explode, mind the flying oil! (Beat) SHIRLEY: Amadeus, you’re a bit strange, but we all like you. You’re smashing really. But why are you hiding behind those sacks of potatoes? AMADEUS: Because... everything... is... going... to explode? SHIRLEY: Not today kiddo. Not unless Arsenal lose and everyone comes home early looking for fish and chips eh? Ha ha ha. VOICEOVER Later, Boris and I worked out what happened. (Amadeus Jones): It’s a bit complicated but... I told Shirley’s grandmother Nancy about my grandad, Eddie. So my grandad had come and fixed the chip fryer and told her to replace it when she could. So the one Shirley had wasn’t old and worn out. And it never blew up! Wow, time travel is complicated. But so is the history of fish and chips.