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Adopted Children and Their Grandparents Views from Three Generations

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Adopted Children and Their Grandparents Views from Three Generations Adopted children and their grandparents Views from three generations The study David Pitcher explores how the parents of adopters The study comprised two elements: respond to the role of adoptive grandparent and an initial quantitative study that was describes adoptive family life from the perspective of designed to map out patterns within three generations. The research involved both a quantita- adoptive families in one geographical tive study (n = 236) and a qualitative study of six white area and a more detailed qualitative British families, in which grandparents, parents and child- study of six adoptive families, in which ren were interviewed. The study concludes that grand- the views of all three generations were parents are significant, not primarily for practical support sought. In this way, a picture could be but in their symbolic function. It is proposed that the constructed that had both breadth and concept of grandparents being ‘fun’ that has developed depth. in contemporary British culture enables them to represent approval and acceptance. For parents, they are signifi- The quantitative research cant as ‘approving witnesses’ to this new family. The In the quantitative ‘mapping’ study, account concludes by suggesting how the three- all the people who were approved as generational perspective described can contribute to the adopters by three adoption agencies in assessment and support of adoptive families. Further southwest England (covering Devon, studies could test whether this pattern can be seen in Plymouth and Torbay) over a four-year other cultural contexts or family types. period (January 2000–December 2003) were identified. This involved 241 families. A four-page questionnaire was Introduction sent to each of their assessing social David Pitcher is a When a child enters a family by adop- workers asking them to rate the level of Senior Practitioner tion, what might be the response of his involvement by each of the four grand- in a Looked After or her ‘new’ grandparents? This is a parents, also recording those who were Children’s Team in Plymouth, Devon, question of great relevance to adopters deceased (236 responses were received). and Honorary Social and to those working with them. In the Social workers were also invited to Work Adviser to the literature, however, the concepts of comment on the relationships, which Grandparents’ adoption and ‘kinship’ often appear as were analysed statistically. The positive Association, UK alternatives, with kinship and grand- response rate to the questionnaire can be Key words: parenthood implying blood relationship. explained by the fact that, although a grandparents, Grandparents’ pride in the achievements large number of families were included, adoption, generations, of their grandchildren, and in the it involved only 27 workers, in three adoption support success of their own children as parents, adoption teams. These teams had stable is thought to be bound up with the staff groups with an interest in research. genetic link which the grandparents see In addition, I was able to make personal being continued (Erikson, 1994). links with them, thus encouraging a This article explores the relationship better response than would be achieved between children and their grandparents from a ‘cold’ request. in a situation in which this genetic link is not present: adoptive families. It The qualitative research looks at adoption from the perspective The qualitative study began with three of each of the three generations involved families: a pilot family, followed by two – grandparents, parents and children – representing the two main types of on the basis that it is difficult to under- adoption we see as an agency – a child stand the dynamics of adoption without with no identified problems who was a multi-generational perspective. placed as a young baby and an older child who had experienced abuse and 56 ADOPTION & FOSTERING VOLUME 33 NUMBER 1 2009 neglect prior to coming into care. Three child is invited to describe what is further families were then sought using happening and what happens next; this theoretical sampling (Strauss, 1987). helps the therapist or researcher to According to this approach, the resear- understand that child’s perception of cher seeks participants in order to social relationships (Hodges et al, explore differences or similarities to 2003). (An example, The Broken Vase, is previous respondents, on the basis of shown in Picture 2.) In addition, each ideas that are beginning to emerge from child was invited to draw a picture of the study itself. This enables as com- themselves with one or more of their plete a picture as possible to be built up. grandparents (see Picture 1). The story The six families were therefore different stem and the picture were designed to in several ways. In some, intergenera- gather as much of the child’s perspective tional relationships were warm, whereas as possible. in others they were distant and marked All the interviews were transcribed by conflict. Their reasons for adopting and analysed using two different were also different, with three families methods. The first was Interpretative being completely childless, one having a Phenomenological Analysis (Smith et al, birth child by both parents, and two 1986). This enabled me to gain a having a birth child by one. One family systematic account of what each partici- had been foster parents who then adop- pant was telling me. The interviews ted the children in their care. In terms of were then reanalysed using Wendy similarities, all six were couples who Hollway and Tony Jefferson’s ‘Defended had originally planned for a birth child. Subject’ approach (Hollway and The children interviewed were aged Jefferson, 2000). This psychoanalytic- 6–12 and had been in placement for at ally informed approach seeks to look least two years. This age group was not just at what is said, but also at what chosen to enable me to interview the the respondent avoids saying. By obser- children in a meaningful way; the two- ving broken speech, inconsistencies, year period meant that the family could metaphor, tone and other non-verbal look back at developments now that the communication, including the way in placement was more established. which the interviewer is affected Although the children’s actual experi- (counter-transference), the researcher ences varied, all had been placed for uncovers areas of anxiety that become adoption because of abuse or neglect. important data. Thus, it was possible to The aim was to interview all the grand- gather a deep and detailed picture of parents (where relevant, as couples), all each family, and then draw comparisons the parents and all the children. Unfor- across the generations and across the tunately, in two families grandparents families. could not be interviewed, due either to All the adopters and adopted children their ill health or to family estrange- were of white British ethnicity; this ment, and in one case it was inappro- reflected the demography of the area, as priate to interview the child. In these revealed from the ‘mapping study’. cases, it was only possible to infer their perspective from the comments of other The findings family members. In total, this produced 21 interviews, with 32 participants. Findings from the quantitative The interviews were semi-structured. research After the children had talked about their From the quantitative study of 236 family life, I introduced four ‘story adoptive families, it emerged that most stems’, which I had designed from a of the grandparents were still living. In close reading of the grandparenting, 47 per cent of cases, all four grand- adoption and attachment literature. A parents were still alive and, in a further ‘story stem’ is an incomplete story 29 per cent, only one was deceased. which contains an implied dilemma. The Eighty-five per cent of mothers’ ADOPTION & FOSTERING VOLUME 33 NUMBER 1 2009 57 mothers were alive and only three per quick to explain that this was to protect cent of cases featured no living grand- their parents from disappointment parent. The assessing social workers should things not work out. However, it often judged the grandparents to be was also clear that a powerful motive ‘close’ to the adoptive parents; this was was adopters’ anxiety about whether particularly marked in the case of the their own parents would approve. Event- mothers of adoptive mothers, where 65 ually, the adoptive parents would realise per cent were rated as ‘close’ or ‘very that ‘zero hour’ had come and that they close’. For fathers’ fathers, the figure had to plan how to tell them. According was 34 per cent. In 82 per cent of to the grandparents, this delay meant families, at least one grandparent was that they did not have long to get used rated as ‘close’ or ‘very close’. In ten to the idea and ask questions (although per cent, there was no grandparent with they did not always feel able to ask, for a significant relationship with the fear that it might be interpreted as lack family. Thus, an adopted child is likely of support for the idea of adoption). to have several grandparents available to Then, before they knew it, they were him or her on joining the new family, expected to welcome a real child. In the many of whom are likely to be close to other families, the grandparents, especi- the adoptive parents, especially on the ally the mother’s mother, had been maternal side. involved from the earliest moment. This Two-thirds of the social workers said made for much less anxiety. that they had actively examined the In addition to the excitement of attitude of the adopters’ parents as part meeting the new child, grandparents felt of their assessment, and in a third of anxious about whether the child would cases a grandparent had been inter- take to them.
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