More Than Down Syndrome: a Parent's View

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More Than Down Syndrome: a Parent's View Volume 3, Issue 5&6 September/October 1999 Down Syndrome Autistic Spectrum Disorder& Special Issue More Than Down Syndrome: A Parent’s View by Joan E. Guthrie Medlen t must have been in a different life…when my greatest concern was “Down syndrome.” In those days, I’d find Andy I in his room re-enacting “Beauty and the Beast” with rubber figures in his dollhouse. Andy gave “Beast” a particularly throaty voice. We saw pretend play; we saw personality in his play. He imitated his brother’s every move, which Ryan found endearing. Together they investigated the corners of the house, gleefully chased me with their cars, or ran to the window to see the fire truck go by. Our lives looked like what you expect from a family of a child with Down syndrome. But it must have been a different life because it bears no resemblance to our lives with Andy today. Today, at age 10, an unexpected or unfamiliar visitor to our home sends Andy running to hide in his room until he decides to investigate them. Today I must say “look at me” a hundred times to ensure he notices and listens to me. Today I see him watch other children and want to play with them, yet be overwhelmed or scared. This means he begins to “flap,” and the other children are equally afraid of him. Friendships require a lot of work, training, and facilitation by the adults in Andy’s life. At the end of today I will gather up the jump ropes and clackers that are inseparable from Andy and put them in the “dangly things” box for him to earn access to again tomorrow by work- ing through a specific task with me. Today I know the isolation of being the Continued on page 3 mother of a child who is different from his peers with Down syndrome. More Than Down Syndrome: A Parent’s View 1 Gross Motor Development in Children 23 From the Editor: The Journey Continues 2 with Down Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Clinic Observations Down Syndrome & Autistic Spectrum 8 Changing Behavior & Teaching New Disorder: A Look at What We Know 25 Skills 31 Dual Diagnosis: The Importance of 16 Sensory Integration: Clinic Observations Diagnosis and Treatment in thisof Childrenissue with Down Syndrome & Language & Communication: The Key is 18 Autistic Spectrum Disorder 36 Effectiveness Disability Solutions The Journey ContinuesSeptember/October 1999 This issue of Disability Solutions contains the largest collection of articles for families of children with Down syndrome and autistic spectrum disorder available. These articles address the first concerns a family may have about DS-ASD. They include: developing effective language and communication skills, sensory integration, tips on changing inappropriate behavior, teaching new skills, a medical overview, and more. But there is simply too much information to cover. In the future we will look at other equally important topics such as: teaching strategies, strategies for communicating, developing family support, and looking ahead to the adult years. It’s been a few months since I wrote the article about our journey with Andy (see page 1). As I write this, it seems unfair not to let you know how things are going as we head to press. After so many years of complicated school situations, we have begun the best school year I can remember (knock on wood!). Andy has grown tremendously in the 17 months since he received the diagnosis of autistic spectrum in addition to Down syndrome. He has a gaggle of friends who honestly enjoy being with him. Sometimes that means they all just hang out in the sun. Sometimes, when he is “stuck” in a transition, it is his classmates who are successful in helping him understand where he needs to go next. From my view as his mother, the greatest changes have been the rediscovery of the child I knew years ago. I thought I had lost that part of him forever: his laugh, his teasing, his love of dancing and more. Even more astounding is the rate at which he is growing emotionally and academically, in ways I didn’t expect. I can’t keep up! Even with all of these good things, we still face sleep deprivation, the need for 4-hour positive behavior support, time-consuming teaching methods to learn everyday tasks, and the struggle of trying to be a family. To deal with this, we have begun a pro- cess of asking people into our lives as a part of our cir- cles of support. It is hard. It is scary to let people into o u r lives. It’s even harder to ask. It is, however, neces- sary if Andy and Ryan are going to have meaningful a n d fulfilling lives. If you are interested in developing this type of support for your family or for someone else, Ann and Rud Turnbull of the BEACH Center i n Lawrence, Kansas have developed a method worth i n - vestigating called Group Action Planning. You can find information and materials related to setting up a GAP at the Beach Center Website (http://www.lsi.ukans.edu/beach/html/products.htm) or give them a call (785/864-7600). It has been four years since our lives dramatically changed due to Andy’s autism. I don’t want to live them again. They were lonely and full of despair. If you have a friend or know someone in your support group who is having similar struggles, don’t wait for them to ask you for help. They aren’t coming to you or to the group meetings because it hurts or it is too hard to leave their child right now. If you want to help, show up at their door and offer to clean, cook, do the laundry, sit and talk, drive their other child to soccer, or be with their child while they sleep for a while. The gift of your time, without judgement, will mean the world to them. It still does to me. After all, we’re far from done with this journey. from the editor Joan E. Guthrie Medlen Volume 3, Issue 5 & 6 Disability Solutions More Than Down Syndrome Continued from page 1 And yet, today is better than yesterday. “Yesterday,” The speech language pathologist felt that we should somewhere around age 5-7, he seemed to magically begin with concrete objects instead: a nipple to say “forget” nearly everything: potty training, eating with he wants a bottle, a piece of a toy to ask for it, and utensils, his signs, word approximations, all of it. He so on. She felt that he didn’t have the prerequisite was afraid of everyone and everything. So intensely skills for sign language. But Andy didn’t like using afraid, he lashed out at us with no warning and for no objects. So, our EI Consultant and I chose some reason we could understand, hitting, biting, with wild first signs and gave it our best shot on our own. He eyes and a beet-red face. It seemed Andy never slept learned to sign “more” almost immediately. Informa- more than three hours a night. He spent his nights tion is powerful. I kept reading, asking questions dangling socks and jump ropes endlessly while I sat and challenging. nearby waiting for the right time to suggest we try to During this time, my two boys were inseparable. go to bed one more time. And yesterday I had trouble Andy loved his big brother. He followed him every- finding someone to listen to my where even before he could walk. despair and questions about his He dressed like him, he wanted developmental regression. Yes, it to sleep with him, they played must have been a different life, a together with cars, on the slip-n- different child…. slide, and so on. There were times And so goes the story of our jour- when people would stare at us or ney, one that leads to a dual diag- we would feel the “usual” pains of nosis: Down syndrome and autistic having a child with a disability, but spectrum disorder. Discovering the for the most part, I had grown to reason for Andy’s developmental accept this twist to my family. We history and giving it a name has had fun. been a long and very difficult jour- I can no longer pinpoint when ney. It is full of controversy, argu- things began to change. After so ments, heartache, and unending many years it is hard to tell the questions. difference between the change from It began similar to many parents his being with me at home all day to of children with Down syndrome. attending a preschool environment During my pregnancy we were and the possible signs of autism. In informed I had a low AFP value, preschool, though he enjoyed it and which led to an ultrasound, and most of the staff was positive, I was for us, nothing more. Somehow in asked for the first time to demon- my heart I already knew Andy had Down syndrome. strate Andy’s ability to make a choice. I insisted the The day he was born and the extra chromosome con- key was in how things were presented. If I had known firmed, I did what I seem to do best: ask questions how many times I would have this same conversation and investigate. This intense, never-ending inquiry, about “choosing,” I would have videotaped it. After coupled with the belief that my children deserve my letting the special education consultant pick two toys best effort, serves me well.
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