Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 So This Is Christmas Before this year, I wasn’t a fan of Christmas. I was too busy ranting about the commercialism of it all and drinking myself silly, rather than looking what really matters. However this year I’ve learned it’s what you make of it that matters. So I’m going to make sure I’m going to enjoy this Christmas! (and having a few drinks along the way of course!) A big part of Christmas now is Doctor Who. You’ve got kids growing up now who will have fond memories of watching Doctor Who on Christmas Day, whilst eating turkey and opening presents. And maybe sneaking a bit of Dad’s whiskey. It’s perfect for Christmas Day. Doctor Who is traditionally a program that all the family can watch and what better day to show it on? The news that the episode, ‘A Christmas Carol’, is going to be shown on Christmas Day on BBC America and, at the time of writing, earlier than normal in Canada and Australia, people all around the world can share this Doctor Who Christmas experience. Yes, fans will moan about it, yes we’ll analyse it like pathologists in Silent Witness, but at the end of the day, Doctor Who isn’t made to please its fans. It’s made to get people, families mainly, to tune in and enjoy. And whatever the story is like, it’ll still be a damn- sight more better and intelligent than the influx of reality tat we will have to endure on the same day. So just sit back, grab your drink and sandwich of choice and enjoy. Just don’t be sat on the internet, posting about how crap it is DURING the episode, please! I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for either buying/downloading this humble fanzine. The response I’ve had has been terrific and to see something that I’ve knocked up on an ancient computer, read all over the world, is just tremendous. Oh and doing this fanzine has kept me away from all the spoiler sites, so cheers for that too! I wouldn’t be able to put this out without all the contributors, so many, many thanks to you all for helping me out and providing some quality content. If you fancy contributing, just send me an e-mail at [email protected] I’m always on the lookout for new writers/artists and I’m very gentle! If you have downloaded this fanzine, Fish Custard fanzine supports the children’s charity KidsOut and seeing as its Christmas, if you would like to make a donation (even as anything as little as 50p!) it would make us feel really appreciated and at the same time, help some disadvantaged kids to enjoy themselves. You can find the page at www.justgiving.com/fishcustardfanzine And just before I go, you can now join the Fish Custard mailing list, to receive your copies of the Issue on your cyber doormats, without having to download it yourself on file-sharing websites with adverts of ‘muscular gentlemen’. Unless you like that kind of thing? Just send a blank e-mail to our address and you’ll receive Issue 4 sometime in February (deadline for contributions – 4th February, btw!). Also we’re having a bit of shindig, basically getting drunk and posting videos, on our Facebook group, all day on the 2 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 20th of this month. Don’t be afraid to say hello or chat about the upcoming Christmas episode. Or post a video of your favourite song! Or moan about the snow. Or the fact that your Angel on the top of your tree looks creepy…I could go on! Cheers and Merry Christmas! Danny This Issue was brought to you by: Santa Claus: Daniel Gee The Elves: Patrick Riley, Michael Gilroy-Sinclair, Lea, Thomas Cookson, Alex Giles, Thomas Willam Spychalski, Emma Donovan, Leo Elsatar, Harry Sedgewick & Nicola Pilkington Special Thanks To: Steven Dieter, Patrick Riley, Erik Hoard, Rod Henderson, Mitch Obrecht & Chris Mead Thanks to our DT Fangirls: Michelle, Dervla, Nina, Lesley, Diana, Andrea & Vanessa Big thanks to all our contributors and readers throughout these 3 Issues so far! Here’s to plenty more in 2011! Doctor Who is © BBC, no copyright infringement (or offence) is intended FFAC103 (we should have mentioned this is the last two issues, but we’re extremely lazy) 3 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Glasgow: Uncovered A tale of a long weekend, working a celebrity signing event. With beer. Ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes at celebrity signing events/trade fairs? Well don’t ask this particular Doctor Who fan, who seems more interested in drinking, finding video arcades and ‘improving national relations’. The following events took place in December 2008. Day 1 After my last visit to Glasgow, I was a bit wary of myself for this sequel of my adventures into lands unknown. Last time I (almost) went on a drunken rampage after drinking the equivalent of three barrels of beer. Well it is my hobby after all! I made my way to the train station, worried about the time, but with trains being trains, they were delayed so I asked the train guard THREE TIMES whether or not the train at the platform was the right train (as at this point, with the trains being delayed, I wasn’t sure if I was too early, or too late!) - but he just plain ignored me! As it turned out, this was the Glasgow train! He did not even utter one word and I stormed off to hole myself up in the pub to wait an hour for the next train. I didn’t know what to make of the guard. He was either ignorant, deaf or just plain stupid (or maybe all three!) It was a good job I wasn’t drunk, or else I would have probably lamped the ignorant bastard one! (Actually, no, I wouldn’t have - I’m a big softie actually!) As I drowned my sorrows in the pub, I got drowned myself, as the newly-refurbished pub had a hole in its roof and was letting drops of rain in! Oh dear. I caught the next train with no problems at all and the journey was quite good, although Virgin Trains’ own radio stations weren’t as good as last time! Less RnB and more campness please! As soon as I got into Glasgow, I made my way outside and caught the bus that would take me to the hotel. The ride turned out to be pretty uneventful, which I was thankful for! My last trip to Glasgow saw me get off at the shopping centre (the venue for the event) but I realised that for the hotel, it was a stop or two before. Thankfully, I was right and privately praised myself for a great piece intuition! Once in the rather nice surroundings of the Purple Hotel, I caught the voice of an American who turned out to be none other than the A-Team’s own Dirk Benedict, who was in conversation with his fellow hotel guests. Nothing to get excited about - was Dirk in ‘Attack of the Cybermen’? No he wasn’t, so forgive me for not taking a trip to the toilets to ‘fawn over’ him. I just booked in and went to my room. It was a bit different than last time, as I spent a good 20 minutes worrying that I had broken the plug in the sink before realising that you had to pull a handle to release it! (That’s not an innuendo btw, despite mentioning the toilet joke earlier) 4 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 I watched a bit of telly but quickly realised that I was bored, so I head off to the bar for a quick pint. This turns into several as I end up in conversation with a Geordie (man from the Newcastle area of England, for those who don’t know!) who tells me he’s a big Manchester United fan (WHAT!) and the girl behind the bar. I toddle off to bed, still chuckling at the probable (and much deserved, in my opinion) abuse my drinking buddy gets from his fellow Geordies. After 3 attempts with my keycard (whoops) I get in and my room mate is in. I met this bloke at the last Glasgow event, so he was sound enough. I get straight to sleep, in the hope of being bright in the morning! Day 2 It’s the first day of the event and there’s no sign of a hangover as I get up at 6.00am! Considering I went to bed at about 1.30 after about six pints, it’s quite an achievement for me! My naivety towards hotels was to come into play once more as I didn’t realise that you could get breakfast for nothing. I say breakfast, it was just cereal, fruit and drinks! I greedily gobbled up a banana (again, no innuendo intended). The night porter-cum-barmaid from last night was still around and asked if ‘I had recovered yet’, which is a silly question to ask me, a lad in his twenties, who has been used to drinking in horrible pound-a-pint pubs, until the small hours, since he was 16! So with this in mind and trying to think of something witty and clever in order to impress her, I said – ‘yes, I’m fine thanks’! I manage to get a lift off my roommate and we head to the arena, via the loading bay for some reason, as everything in the main arena was shut! Last time I was here, I had walked in through the shopping centre, which always had a security guard on duty to let you in.