Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 So This Is Christmas

Before this year, I wasn’t a fan of Christmas. I was too busy ranting about the commercialism of it all and drinking myself silly, rather than looking what really matters. However this year I’ve learned it’s what you make of it that matters. So I’m going to make sure I’m going to enjoy this Christmas! (and having a few drinks along the way of course!)

A big part of Christmas now is Doctor Who. You’ve got kids growing up now who will have fond memories of watching Doctor Who on Christmas Day, whilst eating turkey and opening presents. And maybe sneaking a bit of Dad’s whiskey. It’s perfect for Christmas Day. Doctor Who is traditionally a program that all the family can watch and what better day to show it on? The news that the episode, ‘A Christmas Carol’, is going to be shown on Christmas Day on BBC America and, at the time of writing, earlier than normal in Canada and Australia, people all around the world can share this Doctor Who Christmas experience.

Yes, fans will moan about it, yes we’ll analyse it like pathologists in Silent Witness, but at the end of the day, Doctor Who isn’t made to please its fans. It’s made to get people, families mainly, to tune in and enjoy. And whatever the story is like, it’ll still be a damn- sight more better and intelligent than the influx of reality tat we will have to endure on the same day. So just sit back, grab your drink and sandwich of choice and enjoy. Just don’t be sat on the internet, posting about how crap it is DURING the episode, please!

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for either buying/downloading this humble fanzine. The response I’ve had has been terrific and to see something that I’ve knocked up on an ancient computer, read all over the world, is just tremendous. Oh and doing this fanzine has kept me away from all the spoiler sites, so cheers for that too! I wouldn’t be able to put this out without all the contributors, so many, many thanks to you all for helping me out and providing some quality content. If you fancy contributing, just send me an e-mail at [email protected] I’m always on the lookout for new writers/artists and I’m very gentle!

If you have downloaded this fanzine, Fish Custard fanzine supports the children’s charity KidsOut and seeing as its Christmas, if you would like to make a donation (even as anything as little as 50p!) it would make us feel really appreciated and at the same time, help some disadvantaged kids to enjoy themselves. You can find the page at www.justgiving.com/fishcustardfanzine

And just before I go, you can now join the Fish Custard mailing list, to receive your copies of the Issue on your cyber doormats, without having to download it yourself on file-sharing websites with adverts of ‘muscular gentlemen’. Unless you like that kind of thing? Just send a blank e-mail to our address and you’ll receive Issue 4 sometime in February (deadline for contributions – 4th February, btw!). Also we’re having a bit of shindig, basically getting drunk and posting videos, on our Facebook group, all day on the

2 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 20th of this month. Don’t be afraid to say hello or chat about the upcoming Christmas episode. Or post a video of your favourite song! Or moan about the snow. Or the fact that your Angel on the top of your tree looks creepy…I could go on!

Cheers and Merry Christmas!

Danny

This Issue was brought to you by:

Santa Claus: Daniel Gee

The Elves: Patrick Riley, Michael Gilroy-Sinclair, Lea, Thomas Cookson, Alex Giles, Thomas Willam Spychalski, Emma Donovan, Leo Elsatar, Harry Sedgewick & Nicola Pilkington

Special Thanks To: Steven Dieter, Patrick Riley, Erik Hoard, Rod Henderson, Mitch Obrecht & Chris Mead

Thanks to our DT Fangirls: Michelle, Dervla, Nina, Lesley, Diana, Andrea & Vanessa

Big thanks to all our contributors and readers throughout these 3 Issues so far! Here’s to plenty more in 2011!

Doctor Who is © BBC, no copyright infringement (or offence) is intended FFAC103 (we should have mentioned this is the last two issues, but we’re extremely lazy)

3 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Glasgow: Uncovered A tale of a long weekend, working a celebrity signing event. With beer.

Ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes at celebrity signing events/trade fairs? Well don’t ask this particular Doctor Who fan, who seems more interested in drinking, finding video arcades and ‘improving national relations’. The following events took place in December 2008.

Day 1

After my last visit to Glasgow, I was a bit wary of myself for this sequel of my adventures into lands unknown. Last time I (almost) went on a drunken rampage after drinking the equivalent of three barrels of beer. Well it is my hobby after all!

I made my way to the train station, worried about the time, but with trains being trains, they were delayed so I asked the train guard THREE TIMES whether or not the train at the platform was the right train (as at this point, with the trains being delayed, I wasn’t sure if I was too early, or too late!) - but he just plain ignored me! As it turned out, this was the Glasgow train! He did not even utter one word and I stormed off to hole myself up in the pub to wait an hour for the next train. I didn’t know what to make of the guard. He was either ignorant, deaf or just plain stupid (or maybe all three!) It was a good job I wasn’t drunk, or else I would have probably lamped the ignorant bastard one! (Actually, no, I wouldn’t have - I’m a big softie actually!) As I drowned my sorrows in the pub, I got drowned myself, as the newly-refurbished pub had a hole in its roof and was letting drops of rain in! Oh dear.

I caught the next train with no problems at all and the journey was quite good, although Virgin Trains’ own radio stations weren’t as good as last time! Less RnB and more campness please! As soon as I got into Glasgow, I made my way outside and caught the bus that would take me to the hotel. The ride turned out to be pretty uneventful, which I was thankful for! My last trip to Glasgow saw me get off at the shopping centre (the venue for the event) but I realised that for the hotel, it was a stop or two before. Thankfully, I was right and privately praised myself for a great piece intuition!

Once in the rather nice surroundings of the Purple Hotel, I caught the voice of an American who turned out to be none other than the A-Team’s own Dirk Benedict, who was in conversation with his fellow hotel guests. Nothing to get excited about - was Dirk in ‘Attack of the Cybermen’? No he wasn’t, so forgive me for not taking a trip to the toilets to ‘fawn over’ him. I just booked in and went to my room. It was a bit different than last time, as I spent a good 20 minutes worrying that I had broken the plug in the sink before realising that you had to pull a handle to release it! (That’s not an innuendo btw, despite mentioning the toilet joke earlier)

4 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 I watched a bit of telly but quickly realised that I was bored, so I head off to the bar for a quick pint. This turns into several as I end up in conversation with a Geordie (man from the Newcastle area of England, for those who don’t know!) who tells me he’s a big Manchester United fan (WHAT!) and the girl behind the bar. I toddle off to bed, still chuckling at the probable (and much deserved, in my opinion) abuse my drinking buddy gets from his fellow Geordies. After 3 attempts with my keycard (whoops) I get in and my room mate is in. I met this bloke at the last Glasgow event, so he was sound enough. I get straight to sleep, in the hope of being bright in the morning!

Day 2

It’s the first day of the event and there’s no sign of a hangover as I get up at 6.00am! Considering I went to bed at about 1.30 after about six pints, it’s quite an achievement for me! My naivety towards hotels was to come into play once more as I didn’t realise that you could get breakfast for nothing. I say breakfast, it was just cereal, fruit and drinks! I greedily gobbled up a banana (again, no innuendo intended). The night porter-cum-barmaid from last night was still around and asked if ‘I had recovered yet’, which is a silly question to ask me, a lad in his twenties, who has been used to drinking in horrible pound-a-pint pubs, until the small hours, since he was 16! So with this in mind and trying to think of something witty and clever in order to impress her, I said – ‘yes, I’m fine thanks’!

I manage to get a lift off my roommate and we head to the arena, via the loading bay for some reason, as everything in the main arena was shut! Last time I was here, I had walked in through the shopping centre, which always had a security guard on duty to let you in. What seemed like ages later, we had our briefing to learn that today we only had ONE GUEST signing (Dirk)! This meant that the majority of the crew didn’t have anything to do. Some assisted on the front desk, some went for something to eat, whilst I walked around the shopping centre!

With lots of change weighing down my quite fashionable George at Asda jeans, I had planned to find an arcade of some sort (as you do) but I couldn’t find one, so after pissing myself laughing at a fridge full of Irn-Bru in Sainsbury’s (Irn-Bru is a sort of stereotypical ‘national drink’ in Scotland, much like pints of Mild where I live), I had a look outside. My eyes met on a ‘Ship Building Museum’, I always like museums so I figured it would be a good thing to kill time on. However after learning that I had to pay £3.75, I felt that I was mugged – but still paid it so I didn’t look like a tit. To be fair, the museum did have some interesting stuff, although not in huge quantities! I learned that the QE2 was built nearby and even sat in one of its chairs! Not sure if I was supposed to, but I was determined to get my money’s worth!

5 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 I finished my visit and wandered back into the arena, where sitting down and doing sod all was the only thing to do. I would later help to make up name boards for tomorrows guests. Of course, I had to molest the one with Georgia Moffat, her of The Bill and more recently, Doctor Who, fame. And that was that for the day! I buggered off back to the hotel, quick pint and a short nap before assaulting the hotel bar later in the evening and of course, a chat with the night porter, who seemed more interested in ‘my work’ as the night went on. I didn’t tell her I pissed about in a shopping centre and a museum all day!

Day 3

I got up okay again on the Saturday and with this being a big day, a walk down to the arena in order to ‘clear my head’ was in order. That and the fact nobody offered me a lift. I got in no problem and waited to learn what I’ll be doing today.

It wasn’t long before I was given the duty of ‘assisting’ Blakes 7 and Hammer Horror actress Jacqueline Pearce, who apart from saying ‘Darrrrrling’ quite a lot, was a pleasure to be with. Oh did I mention she was in the Doctor Who story ‘The Two Doctors’ too? She did have a stream of people coming up to her, not many though, which proved a bit difficult for me because I didn’t know what to say to her when nobody was getting anything signed! I tried to crack a few jokes and she seemed happy enough. She was full of good tales and the majority of the people that came up to her, seemed more interested in Hammer Horror than Blakes’ 7, to be honest. There are a few Doctor Who fans knocking about, mostly dressed as the 10th Doctor – yes even the girls!

It’s the end of the day and as ‘Jaqs’ (she told me to call her that) was leaving, she gave me a peak on the cheek - so I’ve got something to taunt Blakes 7 fans with! Just a shame she wasn’t the previously mentioned Miss Moffat, who sat nearby and looked lovely. Then again, I would have probably been petrified! But the best moment of the day for me, was after I held the door open for 80-odd year-old Doctor Who legend, Nick Courtney he said ‘Thank-you Sir’! That’s right, the Brigadier called me Sir! That’s way better than getting an autograph! I also open the door for Georgia, but she just seemed startled that I was there!

6 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3

As everyone is packing up, I spy that Katy ‘Jo Grant’ Manning is milling about and being the opportunist I am, I allow her to pose for a photo with me. My friend has been sat next to her all day and with him not really being up on Doctor Who, he described her as ‘really nice, but a bit of a nutcase’! Now if that isn’t Katy Manning in a microcosm, I don’t know what is!

It’s not long before it’s the end of the day and I’ve quite enjoyed myself. It might have been a long, drawn-out affair but it was nowhere near as boring as yesterday. For me it was back to the hotel for a quick pint, the three S’s and a change of clothes. We’re ‘hitting the town’, as I’m waiting outside for a lift, I bump into Katy again and spend 10 minutes having a chat. She cracks me up and seems really down-to-earth, she surprised me though by saying ‘I’m watching the football in a bit’. Men in shorts, eh?

The rest of my workmates and I didn’t quite hit the town but we did go to the nearby Retail Centre, which comprised of an indoor ski slope, shops and restaurants. We decided to have a Chinese meal, and in the process, bypassing all the bars. Apparently the place was an ‘authentic Chinese buffet’. I didn’t see any toads, chicken foetus’ or dog meat. But I did gobble up the chips. Do they have chips in China? Not really authentic then is it?

Anyway, after the meal (which was very nice) any hopes of going to a pub are thwarted for various reasons, so we go back to the hotel bar. It’s a decent gathering as we chat, laugh and invite Big Brother’s Craig Philips over for a drink. Once again though, by 1am I’m ‘last man standing’ as it’s just me, the lovely Night Porter (I’ve clocked her name badge, but I’m not telling you dear reader) Red Dwarf and Corrie’s Craig Charles (yes, honestly) and his groupies. The latter are absolutely hammered but seem harmless enough. It’s roughly 4am when I make my way to bed, a cracking day, spent with cracking company. The only thing what’s going to be ‘cracking’ tomorrow is my head!

Day 4

I find myself at the arena, trying to sober up at 8am on the Sunday. Thankfully it’s not as bad as the previous Glasgow event, so I take my duty of assisting James Bond and Hammer Horror’s Caroline Munro like a Chinaman takes to skinning a duck, i.e. very well! It’s another slow day but Caroline is another gem and even allows me to a read of her paper (The Sun – I thought these celebs were supposed to be classy?) to read the report of my football team’s 1-0 defeat the

7 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 previous day. It sounded like we should have at least nicked a point from a drab game. Craig Charles turns up at about 1pm.

Like Jacqueline Pearce, not many of Caroline’s fans seemed interested in arguably her most famous role (in her case – being in the James Bond film ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’) but instead, her roles in the Hammer films. (I must check them out sometime to see what the appeal is!) A steady stream of people come and go and it’s not long before it was time to pack up, collect ‘expenses’ and get drunk in the hotel bar. Caroline even gave me a signed picture before she departed, which was nice of her!

I’m back at the hotel and after a snooze, I’m spending my readies and chatting to the Night Porter, who ends up giving me her e-mail address. Now, no more will be said of her contribution in this fanzine.

Day 5

The phone’s ringing, I’m still drunk, and I’m somehow trapped in my twisted bed sheets! I manage to untangle myself and reach for the phone, where I’m asked ‘what time are you checking out’, translated as ‘get out of the hotel now, you lazy bastard!’ It’s 11am and I’ve overslept. Shit! I get ready and vacate the hotel by 11.15! A taxi to the train station later and I’m already feeling sobered up by the time I tuck into my ‘breakfast’ – a sandwich!

I finally get on the train home and when sat down, I sort-of miss the place already. It’s a lovely city and the people are really friendly. The event itself didn’t really hit its attendance figure-target, which was really disappointing.

I’d like to think that Sylvester McCoy cancelling was the reason behind it, but it probably wasn’t!

 DANIEL GEE

8 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 On The Stage – With Doctor Who

Doctor Who has recently taken to the stage (technically it’s an ‘arena tour’ - Ed) with ‘Doctor Who: Live’. Some fans have commentated ‘why hasn’t Doctor Who have done this before?’ Well, if you look back, it has.

In 2008 Big Finish brought attention to the 3 ‘Stageplays’, by adapting them to audio. So just for those who don’t know – here’s our guide to them all, plus an in- depth review of ‘The Seven Keys To Doomsday’, a very apt play for Christmas time.

The Curse of The Daleks

‘Curse of The Daleks’ was originally performed from 21st December 1965 to January 15th 1966 and is notable for being Terry Nation’s first attempt at performing 'live Daleks', in an attempt to cash in on ‘Dalekmania’ craze, created by his Daleks in Doctor Who. As a result, the play does not contain any reference to The Doctor or the series. The original play was performed at the Wyndham's Theatre in London’s West End.

Elements of this story were used in the Second Doctor’s first full serial - ‘The Power of the Daleks’, later in 1966.

The script was written by Nation and David Whittaker, with Nicholas Hawtrey (who would go on to play Quinn in Power of the Daleks), David Ashford (‘Dad’ in the McCoy story ‘Greatest Show In The Galaxy’) and John Line (Martin in ‘Colony In Space’) among the cast.

The story revolves around a crew of a Spacecraft who are forced to land on a deserted ‘off-limits’ planet, which happens to be Skaro – home of the Daleks! One of the crew reckons that the powered-down Daleks can be turned into ‘servants’…you can probably imagine what happens next!

The Big Finish version is very well done, Nick Briggs provides linking narration, as well as the Dalek voices and Michael Praed (better known as Robin Hood from ‘Robin of Sherwood’ ITV’s version of the legend, in the mid 1980’s) heads the cast.

9 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 The Ultimate Adventure

The play was originally performed by Jon Pertwee and toured the country from March 1989, until he became ill. David ‘Cyber Leader’ Banks took over as The Doctor, for some of his performances. It wasn’t long though until Colin Baker, who was dismissed from his television role just three years previously, was brought in to replace Jon, until the end of the tour in August 1989

Colin reprises his role as the 6th Doctor for the audio version, which also sees an appearance by Noel Sullivan better known as a member of Hearsay, the first-ever winners of TV’s ‘Popstars’ in 2000, playing The Doctor’s companion Jason.

The story is pretty much a musical, with a few songs and a bit campness thrown in, so we love it here at Fish Custard Towers! It’s a little bit ridiculous in parts but it’s a lot of fun, Colin does ham it up really well! We would love to see this performed today actually!

The Seven Keys To Doomsday

Originally performed in 1974, Jon Pertwee was originally going to play the role but Trevor Martin was offered it instead. Martin’s Doctor is supposed to be an alternate 4th Doctor, but he doesn’t half remind you of Jon Pertwee’s incarnation! Another interesting cast note is that Wendy Padbury (who played Zoe during Patrick Troughton’s reign as The Doctor) played Jenny, The Doctor’s companion in this story. Martin reprises his role for the audio, with Wendy Padury’s daughter, Charlie Hayes, taking the role of Jenny.

On the Seventh day of Christmas, My true love gave to me....

Seven Keys to Doomsday (Big Finish audio 2008)

It was Christmas 1974 when Doctor Who took to the stage in Terrance Dicks’ Seven Keys to Doomsday, starring Trevor Martin as the Doctor. Among the theatre audience was a young couple, Jimmy and Jenny, who watched the TARDIS materialise on stage, and saw to their horror a mortally wounded Doctor

10 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 stumbling out and collapsing. The two young theatre-goers felt compelled to go down and help him, carrying him back into the TARDIS, little realising the nightmarish adventure they were stepping into. An adventure that takes them to the mystical ruins of the planet Karn, where the Doctor and his new companions must find the seven scattered segments of the crystal of all power. However the dreaded Daleks have also come to Karn seeking the crystal, intending to use it as the power source of their ultimate doomsday weapon, enabling them to conquer the galaxy.

In 2008 Big Finish began adapting the old Doctor Who stageplays, allowing fans, old and new to relive the theatre experience and appreciate these near-forgotten stories. However this Seven Keys to Doomsday adaptation was preceded and overshadowed by the more well-known and remembered The Ultimate Adventure (also by Terrance Dicks), which is a shame because this is a far superior story to that vacuous pantomime with feeble Daleks.

Trevor Martin reprises the role of the Doctor here, and he feels very comfortable in the role. His Doctor has echoes of Hartnell’s haughty grumpiness, suspicion, sharp-worded temperament, and sense of out-of-time melancholy and loneliness. Trevor Martin brings tremendous warmth to the part, and as I said last issue, Terrance Dicks always perfectly nails the Doctor’s character. He’s still the hope-inspiring old Doctor, but because he’s an unfamiliar, alternative Doctor, he seems slightly untrustworthy, restoring the Doctor to the alien ‘stranger’ he originally was. He’s clearly determined to defeat the Daleks but how far is he willing to go and what sacrifices would he make to achieve victory?

Jenny is played by Charlie Hayes- a lovely nod to how her mother Wendy Padbury played Jenny in the original play. Charlie Hayes’ performance is superb, conveying real fear and fraught emotions, and characterising Jenny as an instinctive, kind-hearted, assertive woman with a clear-headed maturity beyond her years. I adore the moment where Jenny’s clearly getting a kick out of impersonating a Dalek during a sneak-in. Charlie’s main acting skill is delivering expositional dialogue describing the landscape and visual details, yet making it sound perfectly naturalist and beautifully evocative, like describing a painting in sensuous, mesmerizing detail.

Jimmy, played by Joseph Thompson, is rather like a proto-Rory, a typical bloke, who regards the Doctor suspiciously. He’s a very reluctant hero, lacking Jenny’s adventurous spirit, but he’s quick-witted and ever prepared to risk his life to protect Jenny. Joseph Thompson inhabits the role very naturally, and there’s one

11 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 scene where Jimmy thinks Jenny’s been killed, and I believed it too because his performance was so hard-hitting and from the gut, that it really conveyed the despair of it all.

The story’s prevalent mood is of desolation and homesickness, which becomes more unbearably heartbreaking as the story continues and the perils become more unceasing, making this unfamiliar, dangerous world seem inescapable. You’re firmly with these companions, afraid they’ll never see home again. It’s the kind of frightening feeling of dislocation that you’d never get in the current TV series that’s grounded in domesticity. The music really sharpens the otherworldly atmosphere of normality gone sour. Karn is an ancient, supernatural world, haunted by restless spirits with great mental powers, determinedly clinging onto existence, refusing to fade away. Perpetual, lingering souls from a lost civilisation, without peace or purpose. It’s both frightening and sad.

It’s a delicately crafted, minimalist narrative which pulls its punches carefully. It takes its time to brew a disquieting atmosphere, upping the ante with each new peril and threat: savage Clawrantula mutations, an overzealous, deadly supercomputer in the tunnels, a giant crab, and the cold-hearted, single-minded spirit of the last grandmaster of Karn. Each one more formidable and deadly than the last, taxing the Doctor and his companions to their limits. Then eventually, when the time is right, the play delivers its biggest hand and reveals the Daleks, by which point the wait has sharpened our appetite. Infact the Daleks’ arrival actually comes as a shock to the system, disturbing the quiet, whisperful atmosphere with their harsh barking voices and cranky dispositions, sharply emphasising their dangerous volatile aggression. From there the stakes get bigger in a prolonged, unending game of cat and mouse, as the Doctor’s every strategy against the devious Daleks fails, until all hope seems lost.

The tightly structured narrative hones each poignant moment to its apex, and its all too real bleakness makes the final victory from the jaws of defeat all the more triumphant and uplifting, honing Doctor Who’s spirit of collective hope amidst hopeless, fearful times. It’s especially moving how the Doctor and his companions develop from their initial suspicious animosity exasperated by the stressful ordeal they’re in, into a strong bond of camaraderie, and in the beautiful final scene, it’s

12 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 clear the Doctor has grown fond of their company and wants them to join him on another adventure, and if you’re not on Jenny’s side when she’s urging a reluctant Jimmy to agree to go along with him again, then you have no soul.

Seven Keys to Doomsday has quickly become my favourite, most treasured audio story, alongside Terror Firma. I’d call it what our editor once called The Eleventh Hour- “a perfect Doctor Who story.” During the various attempts at reviving Doctor Who in the 90’s, I’m surprised no-one ever suggested adapting this for a pilot episode because it would’ve been a perfect, timelessly accessible, warm-hearted introduction.

It’s one Big Finish story (alongside Bang-Bang-A-Boom and Plague of the Daleks) with enough heart, imagination and charming simplicity to appeal to young children and all ages. So if you’re thinking of buying any Doctor Who present for the kids’ Christmas stocking, I’d recommend this.

 THOMAS COOKSON

http://leo-elsatar.deviantart.com

13 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Bob the Time Lord

This is a true story.

Bob the Builder IS a Time Lord.

Well that's not totally true but its pretty close. I was working as a freelance prop builder during the wilderness years and I did some work as a prop builder on a new children's show for the BBC. There was an on-going project to make tiny tools for the inside of Bob’s tool box. Ingenious use of toys and scratch-built creations were the order of the day and I took it upon myself to make a sonic screwdriver for this most popular of TV characters.

After a short time I passed the tiny plastic replica of Tom Baker’s ‘magic wand’ over to my line manager. We laughed and put it into the three inch tool box and never thought about it again.

Time passed and I worked elsewhere and I forgot about the Gallifreyan tool in Bob’s toolbox. Bob’s version of ‘Mambo Number 5’ made it into the charts (and reached Number 1!) and I was rather pleased to note that the mic that Bob was holding was one I'd made. Then I came across a copy of the Bob the Builder sticker book. And there for the world to see is the sonic screwdriver, taking pride of place amongst the more earthly tools.

Bob the builder is a Time Lord.

Check if you don't believe me.

 MICHAEL GILROY-SINCLAIR (TIN DOG)

You can check out Michael’s Doctor Who podcast at www.tin-dog.co.uk

14 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 AN ABSOLUTE FANGIRL GUIDE TO DAVID TENNANT

Recently, Twitter has gone into meltdown through one certain former Doctor. David Tennant has been appearing on Christian O’Connell’s breakfast show on Absolute Radio (formerly Virgin Radio). With the station being streamed from their website, all around the world (and not to mention live pictures being published on the website!) this has sent Fangirls into an excited frenzy (or ‘Squee’ as they call it) pretty much like when some posh shoes go on sale, or when I’m in their vicinity (bollocks! – Ed)

So with this is mind, one puzzled Fish Custard reader e-mailed us his thoughts on this (see below), so we decided to go out there and actually ask some of these fangirls (Michelle, Dervla, Nina, Lesley, Diana and Andrea), precisely WHY they (and the majorty of the Doctor Who fangirls) admire David Tennant so much. That might be like asking ‘why does a Sheep graze?’ but just stick with it!

Doctor Who fandom has always been vast and varied, what with fan clubs, conventions, fanzines podcasts etc. I personally have been a massive fan since late 80s and today I witnessed the maddest, funniest, bizarre group of fans associated with Doctor Who, who call themselves the “David Tennant Fangirls”, I have a lot of friends on Twitter through our joint love of this show but some of them get a bit, shall we say ‘emotional’ for our 10th incarnation, or should I say the actor who plays him!

I have always known there was lots of love for him out there but these girls are taking it to new levels - they are absolutely MENTAL! Watching Single Father starring DT is the funniest thing on Twitter, if you haven’t seen the show, there are some scenes with him having sex. Some example tweets read “@fangirl1 I am officially hyperventilating he is far too hot”,”@fangirl2 I am now weak at the knees SQUEEEE!!!!! ”,”@fangirl3 Please come back Saint David we miss you”

But today I witnessed the power of the fangirls, this morning DT was on UK radio station “Absolute Morning Show” with Christian O’Connell. Around 30 minutes before the show, Twitter went mad. They were calling up the show, sending in emails trying to get their details read out and entering the competition. However, the funniest thing for me, apart from seeing grown up females acting like there back at school, was how they managed to get #absoluteDTfangirls #DavidTennant #ZingZangZulu and DTFangirls as trending topics in the UK! I have around 20+ Fangirls as friends and about 3 of 5 tweets this morning on my twitter were about him.

So if you see someone getting hysterical and loosing control it is possible that there is really nothing wrong other than they have just walked passed David Tennant!

 ALEX GILES

15 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Hi Girls! First of all, how did you discover Doctor Who?

Michelle: December 18, 2008. Let me preface this by saying that my sister, who is 10 years younger than me, had been after me for 2 years to watch Doctor Who. I resisted her...for some reason. I think I may have got scared by Tom Baker's scarf as a child! Anyway, I got home to my parents house after a 14 hour drive from Tennessee to Pennsylvania. I was exhausted. My sister was watching BBC America and told me that Doctor Who was coming on. I was too lazy to move so I wound up watching it. The episode was The Doctor's Daughter. Watching The Doctor describe the Time War to Jenny? Yep, I was a goner from that moment.

Dervla: I can't really remember. I remember watching The Christmas Invasion, but not having much of an interest in it, and I watched Voyage of the Damned in hospital. They were just there, I didn't pay much attention. I think my friend got me into it properly. She lent me a S3 DVD, the one with Blink on it. Needless to say, I loved it, and I blame her for my obsession now!

Nina: My kids insisted I watch it - I refused several times. I saw one season 5, which I thought was okay and then one night, my son on the phone and my daughter in the kitchen said they were sure I would love it, so I said FINE, I'll watch one. It was The Christmas Invasion. I absolutely loved it. I now own them all (Season 1 too!)

Lesley: I was 4 years old, and apparently I was fascinated by the theme music, according to my mum, who swears I used to hide behind the sofa when it came on. By the time Sylvester McCoy was The Doctor, I'd pretty much given up on it...then RTD happened, Chris was a modern Doctor with a bit of Northern swagger, and my heart was captured once more. Now it was what I'd always wanted it to be...and then DT arrived, all wayward hair and lopsided grin, and I was lost forever! David will always be MY Doctor!

Diana: I'm not from the UK but when I moved to London (1996) I realised that this TV program was part of British popular culture by hearing it often mentioned as something people cherished from their childhood.

Andrea: Through a Season 2 marathon on the SciFi channel back in '07.

Why do you think Fangirls like David Tennant so much?

Michelle: What's not to love? He's adorable, funny, geeky and HOT. And as an American, I must say that the accent plays a role. We Americans are suckers for accents and David's Scottish accent is To. Die. For.

Dervla: Well...I think that it's because he's such a big fan of the show, it shows through when he plays/played the Doctor. Like he really was having the time of his life playing that role. Also, out of character (in interviews and what people who have met him have told me about him) he seems to be a genuinely nice man. (The good looks are a bonus!)

Nina: He's so amazingly talented and yet everything you read about him indicates he's such a sweet person. It seems that pretty much everyone who works with him says wonderful things about him. He's so willing to share himself with fans and in interviews, talk shows, and yet he's decent enough not to share aspects of his personal life that should be

16 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 private. He is very admirable. The fact that he is gorgeous is icing on the cake. I love that he's not ashamed to let his emotions show. Oh, my, I could give you 100,000 words here!

Lesley: Oooh, where to start? I think it's the hot geeky look that does it, the combination of intelligence and stunning looks will always get me. The man oozes sex appeal, combine that with the 'you-can't-have-me-cos-I-don't-do-domestic', and you have an explosive combo.

Diana: He isn't just liked by 'fangirls', anyway, what's not to like? Apart from his obvious good looks, he's down to earth, charming, funny, intelligent, eloquent, extremely talented, endearing, etc.

Andrea: It's honestly different for each of us and I can't speak for others. I can say however that he's just genuinely a nice guy, a fellow geek, and it's refreshing to see someone famous who acts so real and down to earth.

What’s your favourite Doctor Who episode with David as The Doctor?

Michelle: The Girl in the Fireplace. It has all of my favourite things: the future, the past and just a dash of romance. Plus Murray Gold's score is fantastic. And it makes me cry.

Dervla: Midnight. In my opinion, it's underrated. It's irresistibly creepy, and - this is the media student in me - I love how it's all shot within one place, camera angles and all. And such a set of great actors and actresses!

Nina: This is hard. I think it would be New Earth. I love his enthusiasm, but then there's Human Nature and The Family of Blood, but what about The Unicorn and the Wasp? Oh, I can't do this. I love Ten and all his episodes are my favourites!

Lesley: Again, another toughie. After some deliberation, and a lot of re-watching (for research purposes only, you understand LOL) it comes down to two, The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit. He shows exactly how vulnerable the Doctor is despite his joie-de-vivre and immense intellect, how lost and alone he'd be without the TARDIS and Rose, and how much he believes in both. Gets me every time.

Diana: VERY hard to choose! I like his 1st episode with Martha (Smith and Jones), the one with Sarah Jane (School Reunion), the one with the Adipose (Partners In Crime) and his episodes with the Master

Andrea: A tough call but I'll go with Human Nature/Family of Blood.

17 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Do you think David left Doctor Who too early, or do you think the time was right for him to try other roles?

Michelle: As much as I love Ten, I think it was time. For two reasons. First, David looked exhausted in those final specials. Go compare Christmas Invasion to The End of Time. The schedule was wearing him out, as fun as we know it was for him. Second, I can't say I'm a Moffat fan, so I'm glad Ten doesn't have to deal with multicoloured Daleks or Amy!

Dervla: Initially, I was a bit upset that he left, especially as when he announced it, I was only just getting into it! But after that I realised that it would be good for him to go out and try other acting roles.

Nina: I don't think it was too early. David is an incredible actor and that kind of talent needs to be constantly stretched and variety is what keeps it going, I think. I also think Doctor Who is a difficult gig and would have worn him out eventually. I miss Ten, I will always miss Ten, but I love seeing David Tennant in other things.

Lesley: As a DT fan, I'd have to say it was way too early for me, but I can understand why David thought it the best time to go. It took over his life for four exhausting years, RTD was off to pastures new, Steven Moffat would take the show in a new direction, and I think he made the right choice to go when he did.

Diana: I do think he left early, I would have liked him to stay for one series more...

Andrea: I think he left too early, but given how much of a revamp they did to the show I can see why he chose to move on.

“I don’t want to go” Lovely last line or a bit of a wimpy end to David’s reign as The Doctor?

Michelle: Whoever says that "I don't want to go" is wimpy answers to me. WTF?! David's Doctor was full of life. Who wants to give that up? The Doctor truly enjoyed his tenth incarnation, he didn't want some other man taking his place. So yeah, that line is perfect. *sniff*

Dervla: Uhm...I'm undecided about this line. First watching (and, I admit, the 8 times after) made me cry my eyes out. I thought it was the best line he could be given! But now I'm thinking that it...wasn't 'wimpy' as such, just a bit heartbreaking. And now I've decided that he should've got a different line to say. Yes, it's memorable, but personally, it's memorable for the wrong reasons. Now every time I hear that line, I think of him - and he should've got a line that reflected his character and his interpretation of the Doctor. I could probably write an essay on this subject, really!

Nina: Absolutely lovely. Makes me cry every time I even think about it. It's a perfect line for Ten because he loves life so much, he's so enthusiastic about everything and letting it go is frightening.

Lesley: Fabulously perfect last line!!! Made me bawl like a baby as it was delivered with just the right amount of pathos by a man who believed it completely and combined with Murray Gold's incredible musical piece, 'Vale Decem', almost killed me.

18 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Diana: Moving as true as his regeneration was more of a death & he had such a great run as the Doctor & so much more to give. (*getting teary eyed*)

Andrea: Neither - a heartbreaking conclusion to a lovely run but with very little if not closure.

What’s your favourite other David Tennant role and why?

Michelle: Oh dear. There are SO many, but I have to go with DI Peter Carlisle from Blackpool. The chemistry he has with both David Morrissey and Sarah Parish is amazing. Plus singing and dancing! Peter Carlisle renders me incoherent.

Dervla: I really liked him as Hamlet. I think I liked that role because I've always been a fan of literature, plays and drama and everything. And it was nice to see someone I actually knew of playing a role in a play I really liked. Honestly - I wanted to study Hamlet for English Literature so I would have an excuse to watch it again.

Nina: Oh gee, I don't know. Right now I think Dave from Single Father followed very closely by Peter Carlisle in Blackpool. Why: Dave is such a complex character and he is dealing with so very many things. It's wonderful to see David infuse Dave with the feelings that were so perfect for this man in this situation. And, OMG, David can say so much without saying a word. He breaks my heart. Peter is just scruffy, eats all the time, and is so in love with Natalie. And he sings and dances!

Lesley: Besides The Doctor, it would have to be Hamlet. It could have been written for his incredible talent and ability to portray the range of emotions.

Diana: His role in Blackpool as he had a chance to do dramatic/romantic/funny scenes, as well as dance & sing!

Andrea: DI Peter Carlisle from Blackpool. He's like Columbo meets the Doctor!

Would you call yourself a ‘David Tennant Fangirl’ rather than a ‘Doctor Who Fangirl’?

Michelle: Definitely a David Tennant Fangirl. I love DW, but I am a DT fan first. Plus the DW fandom kinda scares me!

Dervla: Can I not be both?

Nina: Well, yes, I love Doctor Who but I adore David Tennant.

Lesley: I'd say I'm both

19 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3

Diana: Definitely, I LOVE Doctor Who thanks to David, Classic to Series 4 but have lost interest in it since Series 5 as I don't like the writing or any of the characters (especially detest River Song!) apart from Rory. But I'm looking forward to renew my fandom with the 12th Doctor, new writers & NO River Song!

Andrea: No, I consider myself to be both.

Do you think that being a David Tennant Fangirl affects your judgment on how good the other Doctors are played?

Michelle: I'm not sure since my ‘other Doctors’ sample is so small. To me, David IS the Doctor. But I love Nine too. Or maybe it’s an RTD thing. I don't know!

Dervla: No. Well, I don't think so. I hope it doesn't.

Nina: Hmmm, well, I always think Ten is best so probably, but I like to think I can be a bit objective.

Lesley: No, it just means I appreciate that I've seen the best!

Diana: Not exactly as I like pretty much every Doctor apart from the 11th.

Andrea: Not really. I love Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Paul McGann, and Christopher Eccleston all on their portrayals and it bears little to no impact.

What do you think of Matt Smith and the view shared by some fans that David was ‘irreplaceable’ as The Doctor?

Michelle: Honestly? I can't even look at Matt Smith. The very idea of someone else piloting the TARDIS makes my skin crawl. So I haven't watched series 5. Sorry, Matt Smith fangirls (and boys!). If that makes me a bad DW fan, feel free to judge me. I'm cool with that. But I don't think anyone is "irreplaceable." People are entitled to like who they like. You want to like Matt, that's fine. But not liking Matt or David or Chris or Tom or Colin or poor Paul (who always gets the shaft, what's up with that?), doesn't make you a bad fan.

Dervla: I think Matt is a brilliant Doctor - in fact, I think all the actors who have played the Doctor have made him brilliant in one way or another. I used to have that view with some other fans, but I have realised that it's an ever-changing show, it has to be to keep it great.

Nina: I really like Matt Smith. I enjoy his Doctor. Again, I liked Ten better, but I can enjoy Eleven. Irreplaceable? I think the role is meant to be replaceable. I will always cherish the way Ten embodies enthusiasm, love for life and appreciation for everything he sees, but David wanted to move on and he wanted Doctor Who to be successful without him and that's fine by me.

Lesley: Matt is good as The Doctor, not brilliant; not yet at least; a bit too boisterous for me. David wasn't irreplaceable, but came pretty damn close LOL

Diana: David is in a way irreplaceable for ME as he is MY Doctor, but he is not irreplaceable considering the history of the show. Nevertheless I consider Matt Smith

20 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 totally wrong for the role & I don't like his portrayal. I do hope we get a better, more charismatic & mature actor as the 12th Doctor.

Andrea: I think as a non-fan of the show he had a lot of obstacles to contend with upon filling David's shoes and I frankly felt bad for him, stepping into the role as he did after such a successful Doctor. I don't think David couldn't have been replaced but I'm not happy with the revamp of the show for a variety of reasons, none of them interestingly enough having to do anything with Matt Smith.

You’ve been body-swapped into Rose’s scruffy apparel for the day. Where would you go with the 10th Doctor, in the TARDIS and why?

Michelle: November 19, 1863, Gettysburg, PA I want to hear the Gettysburg Address. And the guy who spoke for two hours before the President would be fun too! :D Although knowing my luck (and the Doctor's piloting skills!) we'd probably end up in 1563!

Dervla: Ahh, I don't know! Some nice planet. Or back to Ancient Egyptian times.

Nina: Somewhere scary so I could get lots of hugs! Somewhere strange and beautiful.

Lesley: Ah, you've been peeking into my dreams, haven't you? LOL. And I'm afraid that's classified...suffice it to say, we wouldn't be leaving the TARDIS....

Diana: Not being a fan of Rose it is hard to imagine, but it would probably be Ancient Egypt, 70's London or 50's New York!

Andrea: Ancient Greece, but I love the period and place! So why not?

And finally…If you could dedicate a song on the radio to David, what will it be?

Michelle: Well, it would have to be ‘500 Miles’ by the Proclaimers, right? He is a Proclaimers superfan, after all! Plus I love that song too!

Dervla: Haha, oh, I have no idea. Possibly - and only because he played this song a lot - Owl City, Fireflies. It might be a bit of a cliché, but I really don't think he'd appreciate any music that I'd like!

Nina: Be My Thrill by The Weepies - minus the ‘kill joy’ bits. And song I would sing to David myself - You Are My Sunshine

21 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Lesley: ‘Oh You Girls’, by Franz Ferdinand....especially after his appearance on Comic Relief, rocking out to his little hearts content!

Diana: 'Untouchable' by Girls Aloud or 'Starlight' by Muse

Andrea: No idea! But I hear he likes Coldplay and Owl City's Fireflies, so perhaps one of the two

Big thanks to all the Fangirls for their frank and honest answers. You can check out the movements of the DT Fangirls by typing #absolutedtfangirls into Twitter. You can check out a further Fangirl interview on our website

Additional Questions by Alex Giles

Secret Santa

The fanzine has decided to get into the Christmas sprit by getting presents for our fictional heroes

Rory – Fighting lessons

The Doctor – Dancing lessons

Amy – Pole Dancing lessons

Sarah – A copy of her birth certificate to prove that ‘Sarah Jane’ isn’t hyphenated, so ‘Jane’ is a middle name, so therefore her first name is ‘Sarah’, not ‘Sarah Jane’.

Rose – Her old lips back

Captain Jack – A smoke-damaged Ianto doll

Luke – A job on Eastenders as a young Martin Fowler

Peri – Some underwear from Ann Summers

Jo – A spin-off series

Rhys – A pint of beer + CCTV footage of Gwen’s affair with Owen

22 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 COMING SOON…

Can they survive in the jungle? How much will Adric moan before Tegan bludgeons him to death with the heel of her shoe? Will Nyssa ever say anything that makes sense? Will The Doctor ever change his trousers? Find out on our new reality show…

(Calls cost £15 a minute. All calls WILL be charged and diverted to our helpdesk in India)

FFAC13

23 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Doctor Who and the Red Dye of Death

In this privileged space I have been given in every issue of FF&C so far, to ramble on about the memories and trials of being an American-based Doctor Who fan in the eighties, I have tried to explain and express how hard it was at times to be ‘out of the loop’ on what was going on in mainstream fandom.

Not only was Doctor Who a show that was cult in the truest sense of the word here, but there also were a lot of complication not felt by the UK fanbase. These ranged from the show only being shown late at night in some markets on PBS stations, or as we found out in last issue's Pledge Drive of Doom - having to wait long after the BBC's air dates in the UK to see the latest episodes.

But also if you are a fan, you want merchandise (even more so if you are a kid like I was in those days!) But finding Doctor Who items was not as easy as going down to your local shop and picking up the latest DWM.

Doctor Who merchandise in the United States was usually either sold in specialty stores, comic shops or bought via a fan organization/fan club. This was not the modern day world where internet shopping and computer downloads make it easy to buy things from almost anywhere around the globe. If you wanted Doctor Who items, you had to be in the know or pay the fees to join The Doctor Who Fanclub of America or for a very high subscription rate, pay for a subscription to Doctor Who Magazine and then incur the costs of shipping from the UK.

Target books and a few of the larger books in the eighties non fiction range, like the Doctor Who Technical Manual or A Celebration were available in most bookstores, but this is where most of the affordable items ran out.

At about the time that season twenty six was going out in the UK, there was a comic shop in the basement of a mall called Ford City in Chicago that stocked all kinds of wondrous things like Dapol figures, Tom Baker scarves and a replica of the 7th Doctor's ridiculous question mark jumper, but the prices were so high for a young man in his teens. I usually would spend my money on the usual young adult items that budding teens do and when I bought Doctor Who it was always the videos of episodes I have never seen, in my eyes better to see The Seeds of Death on BBC video then be given odd looks at school with a long multi-coloured scarf or be caught buying (Gasp!) toys at the Mall!

24 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 But the most sacred and desired items to me, were the items the Doctor actually used on the show and in those days there were no replica Sonic Screwdrivers, so Jelly Babies would have to do! Just one little minor snag in that one though….

The red dye in Jelly Babies made them very hard to come by in the United States.

America has had its share of health scares and paranoia about what we put into our bodies and certainly the assumption based off Russian research in the seventies that certain red dyes might have connections to cancer, scared people over here. So much so that it influenced action by the Mars candy company, which pulled the colour red from their M&M chocolate candies.

But, like everything else Who, you could find a box or two if you knew how and my first taste came when me and my father belonged to the local Doctor Who club held at the Scottsdale branch of the Chicago Public Library. It was in this building, long after the library closed for the day, that I saw my first Willam Hartnell adventure and here also where I learned a lot about the show from the older people who filed into that cramped meeting room every weekend.

Every once in a while there would be merchandise to buy too, like the Tom Baker metal police box bank (That I picked over the Davison version that was also available) and that one-time, the holy grail, I had waited years to taste, those Jelly babies had finally found their way into my sweaty palms! I can still recall the yellow box and how I carried them around for a week offering them to people randomly in conversation! It was pure bliss, despite quickly running out of the confection in a couple of days!

There is something to be said for the rarity of a product or service that enhances your love of it and the sense that you are really having something special when you get it. Jelly Babies, like all Who items besides books in the eighties, were a rare commodity. But in the end it made you appreciate them more. I still have that little Tom Baker police box bank, it's been sitting on my desk for years, moved over 13,000 miles to Texas and back in the early nineties and you know what, it is so ingrained in memories that it will most likely be with me till it's time for me to dematerialize as well.

All objects should have such high value in the eyes of the owner, no matter the cost in obtaining them.

Next Week: Doctor Who and the Voice Over of Destruction!

 THOMAS WILLAM SPYCHALSKI

Thomas Willam Spychalski has written about Doctor Who online since 2006 for Kasterborous.com and has also written about the show for Whotopia and the first issue of the Brisbane Doctor Who Fan Club Fanzine, as well as being a contributor of the just announced Kasterborous book Ultimate Regeneration available from Kasterborous.com

25 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Harry Sedgewick’s Guide To Panto

Greetings Doctor Who sycophants! I’m back to give you lucky people more insights into the wonderful world of acting. Or not that wonderful, in my case. Seriously, don’t get into it if you fancy living a broken life and six months in the back seat of a Vauxhall Nova.

Sometimes it’s hard to find work as an actor. In 80’s Britain, it was piss-easy to get a job (a bit like nowadays, in fact) as our wonderful Prime Minister at the time, created jobs for every one she closed. She was so thoughtful like that. Sadly, the BBC was utter rubbish at this time and there just wasn’t any work for us actors. So every year, in various locations, I appeared in Panto.

Panto, for all you Colonial people (and potential baddies who wear funny rucksacks) is short for Pantomime. A bit like how the word ‘Thief’ is short for ‘some of George Bush’s mates’. It’s basically a fairy story, played on stage, with the men dressed as women and women dressed as men (this is the Panto I’m talking about here by the way, although this is also applicable to the Bush administration).

My favourite ever Panto was ‘Jack and the Beanstalk’, performed at Blackpool’s Winter Gardens in 1987. I just appeared in The Bill that evening and was about to go on stage as the donkey that Jack took to market. Anyway, the bloke who was playing his mother was ill (nothing to do with my other duties of making the tea, obviously) so I got to don some women’s clothing for 4 performances. It did chafe a bit, but a positive review in the Blackpool Gazette got my Funnygirl’s ban lifted and I spent the evening with some lovely female dancers, still in my make- up.

Now my attempts at getting a role in the new Doctor Who have yet to bear fruit, so I will put to producer, Matt Moffet, this idea: A DOCTOR WHO PANTO. That young lad, Steven Smith, can play The Doctor but I’ll take the role of his assistant, Rose Pond. As you can probably guess, I have a vast knowledge of the show already, so I’ll be clued-in about any plot threads. Plus I look good in a dress.

We could have flying Darleks (which I believe has NEVER been done before) fighting with members of the audience. Then The Doctor (and his sexy assistant) has to wade in and sort the trouble out. It’s got action, audience interaction and a love story. We could even get some old Doctor’s involved, people like Paul McCann, Patrick Hartnell, William Troughton and him with the scarf, Colin Baker. What more could you want? Get sending those e-mails in!

This year I’ve not had any offers to perform. So if anyone knows of any Panto’s I could bring my talents to, send a tweet to @harrysedgers (that includes you Mr Producer of Doctor Who!)

26 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Series Four has been broadcast, which means Fish Fingers and Custard will now hand out...

The Sarah Jane Awards

The Nightmare Man fed on everyone's bad dreams, the Shansheeth conducted their final funeral, and Sarah Jane Smith said goodbye. And once all that had come to pass, Fish Custard Fanzine recognized each story based on its merit. Luckily, with only six stories per series, everyone's a winner!

The Overload Award

Story 3: Death of the Doctor

The return of Jo Grant (or Jones, take your pick). The introduction of her Grandson, Santiago. The first meeting of Doc 11 and Sarah Jane. A spin on the Graske. Monsters that are actually vultures. UNIT. Ventilation shafts. Russell T. Davies. This story had all the elements needed to make an excellent two-part Doctor Who story. Unfortunately, there were simply too many elements to make an impressive Sarah Jane story.

That's not to say it was bad; every story this series was in some way enjoyable. But it all felt a bit cramped, and it lacked any real sense of urgency. In a situation where the Doctor, Jo, and Sarah Jane are put together in the same room for the first time, there inevitably needs to be some space for re-introductions and

27 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 catching up. That was all there; in fact, there was so much of it that I had to watch DotD twice to soak in all the new canon. That was great and all, and it was nice to learn what's been happening to Ian and Barbara and pretty much everyone else from the Doctor's past, but it left little room for Shansheeth, who are easily among the best monsters to appear in Sarah Jane, and some proper Groske humour - who wouldn't want to share a pizza with that fella?

The Routine Award

Story 2: The Vault of Secrets

Many have referred to this story as "more of the same" as far as Sarah Jane goes. A monster was re-used from the last series (Androvax), Gita Chandra was over-the-top as usual, Sarah Jane was criticized by a parent for putting children in danger, and the Bannerman Road gang did some investigating in a rather unwelcoming building, just like they did in Invasion of the Bane, Eye of the Gorgon, Prisoner of the Judoon, and the list goes on... But that's all really quite a good thing. The Vault of Secrets gave us a sense of familiarity; a reminder that in the end, The Sarah Jane Adventures is still The Sarah Jane Adventures. Because the other five tales this year all felt like an event episode in some way. Rather than meeting the Doctor or traveling through time or bidding adieu to Luke, the second story this year was essentially meet-the-alien, stop-the-alien. And what's not to love about those men in black?

The Lost in Time Award

Story 5: Lost in Time

Though it may be somewhat odd that this prize has been named after its episode, this story's name perfectly summarizes where it puts the viewer: Lost in Time. Any of these stories would have been superb as stand-alones: Clyde versus Nazis, Sarah Jane and echoes from the past's future, Rani and Lady Jane Grey (the most well-done part of this story), and that shopkeeper, whose identity could have been better explained, and his parrot. But all four storylines mashed together within an hour feels a bit stuffed, similar to Death of the Doctor. But unlike DotD, Lost in Time, while adequate by the standards of a children's show, isn't really worth a second viewing.

The Thank-Heavens-He's-Gone Award

Story 1: The Nightmare Man

SJA's series opener witnessed the sad departure of a much-loved central character: K-9. What? You thought I was going to say Luke? Ah... Luke's a great character and all, very central to the series, and I have nothing against Tommy Knight. But did you hear what the boy was listening to on his radio as he

28 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 was packing his room? I don't even know the song's name - hold on, let me go look it up - Bulletproof by La Roux. Ack! I still can't get it out of my head after, what's it been, two months? This Luke guy has no taste in music; get him off my telly! Oh. You did. Thanks, Auntie Beeb!

The Trickster Award

Story 6: Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith

A brilliant, superb finale. But it's taking home the Trickster Award because it definitely played tricks with my head. Namely, it made me think the Trickster would be there, and, well, I was tricked. How tricky!

Think about it... stories like Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane?, The Temptation of Sarah Jane Smith, and The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith all contain the name of a certain former companion to the Doctor, and they all feature appearances from the Trickster. Wasn't it safe to assume that he'd be in Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith as well? So where was he?

I guess Ruby White had some cunning qualities herself, but she's just not my Trickster.

Best Picture

Story 4: The Empty Planet

It's easily the most engaging story this series, and it may just be the best SJA tale ever made. Funny, how many heralded Blink as one of the best NuWho episodes ever despite its Doctorlessness, and now The Empty Planet is equally wonderful in relation to other Sarah Jane’s even though there really was no Sarah Jane.

The truth to the emotions in Clyde's and Rani's behaviour towards each other and their situation, the scope of it all with the completely dormant London skyline, the supreme design of the androids; the only thing missing was a zombie attack. That would have made The Empty Planet the greatest episode of anything, ever.

 PATRICK RILEY

(Patrick's writing can also be found in news articles at the Doctor Who webzine Kasterborous.com and in tweets via @10PatrickRiley)

‘The Doctor and The Elf: A free downloadable Christmas short, short story! Download from www.fishcustardfanzine.co.uk

29 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Commenting on The Endgame of Rassilon

In Issue 2, we ran an article by Thomas Cookson entitled ‘The Endgame of Rassilon’ which was his view on when the classic series SHOULD have ended. It proved to be a very popular article and in reply to it, Bob Furnell, Editor of fellow fanzine Whotopia (FREE to download from www.whotopia.ca), gave us his view on the article

I read with interest, Thomas Cookson's article "The Endgame of Rassilon" in issue two. However, after reading the article, I felt compelled to point out what I feel are some 'flaws' in Mr. Cookson's thinking. First off, why, as a fan of the series, would you want to have seen the show end sooner than it actually did? I mean, by the time the series went off the air in December 1989 with the final episode from "Survival", the series was back on form and fans, as well as the everyday television viewer, could forget and put behind them the bleak years that had preceded this season. Sure the show was no longer a ratings winner by this point in its history, and had been sadly relegated to a time slot opposite "Coronation Street" but one would be hard pressed to find a duff story in Season Twenty-Six. This final season saw a cohesion of creativity, story plot and positiveness that had so lacked the series for several years. It was a sad day for fans, and I'm sure for those viewers still watching the adventures of the Doctor, when the BBC cowardly chose not to renew the series for a twenty-seventh season.

While I can understand and appreciate Thomas' point in suggesting that the series could have ended with the broadcast of "The Five Doctors" with it being an upbeat and positive story to end the series on, I'm not entirely sure the show would have remained as well remembered with the viewing public as it did. Granted, I'd be the first person to say, that overall, I don't think either Davison or Colin Baker were served with very good stories during their time with the series. But throughout Davison's tenure and even with the first full season for Colin Baker, the show remained very popular with the viewing public. Ratings were still very healthy and the public on the whole found favour with the series. As fans, and as much as we might not like to admit it, the show is not made just for us. We have to understand that it has to appeal to a wide ranging audience that includes a wide spectrum of viewers of which; fandom is only a very small part of that overall audience. This is one of the reasons why the show ran into trouble during the mid-1980s, because the series producer pandered far too much to fans, thus alienating the general audience as a whole.

Part of the problem with the series around this time is that we had a producer in the form of John Nathan-Turner who was not a very strong producer in the first place. JNT's strong points were not in television production but rather in minding the financial purse strings and in promotion. He was extremely talented in these areas but he had absolutely no concept of what made good television. He was

30 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 very much a throwback to the days of the 1930s Hollywood Busby Berkeley musicals style of production and would have been far better suited to producing light entertainment or variety.

Plus it was common knowledge that JNT wanted to leave the series as far back as season 21 but as the last remaining in-house producer his bosses would not let him move on. The only way he was able to move on was if one of his production ideas was accepted to go into production, and sadly from what became common knowledge after the series did end, was that every new program idea JNT suggested to his bosses was turned down flat. For some unknown reason his bosses would not let him move on. For a succession of five years JNT would announce that this season was his last and that he would be moving on at the end of the season, only to have to eat his words and announce, "I have been persuaded to stay". No doubt the man was frustrated, and so what we got was a producer who was effectively desperately trying to break free of the show he worked on and someone who was on the whole disinterested and disheartened with his job.

Additionally, the management that was running the BBC at the time wasn't really interested in "Doctor Who". They had long lost interest in the show and wanted to see the back of it. However, what they didn't realize was that when they did try to cancel the show the first time back in 1985, was just how popular the show was with the public. Also at this time, the Beeb had had got themselves into a financial shortfall when starting up their new flagship soap "Eastenders" and as a result "Doctor Who" was used as a pawn in their bid to try and get out of the financial mess they had got themselves into. Why invest £1 million pounds in a new series of "Doctor Who" when they really didn't want the show to be on the network in the first place? Well we all know what happened - the show came back and continued for another four years, and then was quietly cancelled.

Thomas mentions in the original article that Terrance Dicks is considered "out- dated and old hat" nowadays. Really?! That's a surprise. From what I've always understood is that he is considered one of the great grandmasters of "Doctor Who" and highly regarded. Maybe there are a few new-Who fans who think that Terrance is old hat, and if they do, perhaps it's time that these so called new fans need to be educated on who truly are the great writers that the show has had. I'm sorry, but in my opinion, Terrance Dicks could out-write Russell T. Davies or indeed many of the new series writers any day. If it wasn't for writers like Dicks, or Robert Holmes, or Terry Nation, the new series writers wouldn't be where they are today.

Thomas talks briefly about "Doctor Who" fans and fandom. Yes, fandom today has changed and if they're "hysterically praising and brown-nosing Russell T. Davies" it doesn't surprise me because I really think they've all been brainwashed into thinking he is god, and that he can't do any wrong. Sadly one of the biggest culprits of perpetrating this myth is Doctor Who Magazine. RTD is nothing

31 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 special. Yes, thank you RTD for being inspired and forceful in bringing the show back, but god forbid, he is not the best, or the strongest writer to ever have written for the show. I'll give him his due though. The man truly understands what makes modern programs tick and what modern television audiences want, but as a writer, he is very much in the average to mediocre realm. And if fans were to honestly, and without glossed over eyes, honestly appraise his stories, then they would see that he far too often relies on cop-out endings, his stories are full of plot holes and many of his ideas are stolen right from every bit of fanwank ever written. Just look at "Army of Ghosts/Doomsday" and having the Daleks and the Cybermen fight it out. Please! Talk about fanwank.

Fans go on about his lone New Adventures novel "Damaged Goods" as being the best Who novel ever written. Now if memory serves me right, and I could be wrong, as this is going back several years, I seem to recall that the novel was not that very well regarded when it first came out. I know I didn't think it was that great.

I'll even go out on a limb here and say, if fans took the time to really look at RTD's time on "Doctor Who", then they'd realize that he shares a lot in common with a certain 1980s producer.

Perhaps I sound cynical. Sorry if I do; but having been a fan myself for close to thirty years, I've seen the show go through many changes and crisis. I've seen fandom change during these years too. And while I'm glad "Doctor Who" is back on air, I don't blindly accept everything that's aired since its rebirth has been the best story that's ever aired.

I don't think the show should have ended with "The Five Doctors" or even "Logopolis". I truly believe that the show had to go through what it went through and that if it hadn't, I don't think it would have returned to television in 2005.

While I don't agree with everything that was outlined in the original article, there are numerous things Thomas pointed out that I wholeheartedly agree with. And, as I mentioned at the start of my article, on the whole I enjoyed his article. It was well written and he made some really interesting and astute observations. For me, I just felt compelled to put a few thoughts to paper to comment, or clarify some of what was discussed in the original article. You may not agree with me and then again maybe you might; but, I think we'll all agree that that's what's great about loving this show. We all have our opinions on it no matter how much they may differ, but at the end of the day, we all share one thing in common. We're fans of the best television series ever.

 BOB FURNELL

32 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 The Doctor Vs. Edward Cullen

There have been some epic fights over the years. Ali vs Fraizer, Holyfield vs Bowe and Haye vs Harrison. But this is not boxing, it’s more important than that. It’s a fight for a Girl’s attentions…

Edward Cullen is, essentially, a 117 year old vampire who glitters in the sunlight and dates high-schoolers. He is always in a bad mood and seems to have only one character trait: possessive jealousy on psychotic levels. Seriously. He breaks into his girlfriend’s house to watch her sleep, and forbids her from hanging out with her male friends. His one purpose in life is to lie around looking handsome, which we know as it is pointed out in EVERY SINGLE LINE of the books.

The Doctor is, essentially, a 907 year old Time Lord who travels through time and space with young girls. However, he only fancies them on rare, ill-advised, Russell T Davies occasions, so he’s already winning this battle by not being a paedophile. Despite his great age and knowledge, he still retains a great lust for life and a sense of wonder for everything he encounters. He’s brave, kind and exceedingly clever, and battles aliens and monsters and saves planets just because it’s the right thing to do. Man’s a legend!

So, basically, to sum up… The Doctor wins by at least twenty miles.

TAPE THE OF TALE Edward ‘Bitey’ Cullen: Looks like an hard lad, doesn’t he?

The Doctor:

1. Drives a TARDIS Edward: 2. Goes wherever and whenever the f**k he pleases 1. Drives a Volvo 3. His (sort of) love rival is a

2. Goes to High School former plastic Roman 3. His love rival is a huffy teenage Centurion werewolf 4. His nemesis is a bad ass Time 4. His nemesis appears to be his Lord who likes dancing to the own self loathing Scissor Sisters. And beating 5. His girlfriend is a personality- his wife. So we know he’s evil less vacuum who falls over a lot 5. Doesn’t have a girlfriend but is 6. Glitters in the sunlight associated with a bevy of beauties including Amy Pond and River Song 6. Tans, presumably.  EMMA DONOVAN

33 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Doctor Who - It’s All A Game

A Doctor Who computer game is about to be released on the Nintendo Wee, or something, but quite frankly, Fish Custard Towers has enough trouble paying the electricity bill as it is. So like the guide to the Stageplays, we’re going ‘all retro’ and looking back at some Doctor Who games of yesteryear, some of which you can actually play for free…and it’s legal (sort of).

(Anyone who would like to donate some Wee equipment, so we can play the game, is more than welcome to, by the way)

On paper, Doctor Who seems to be perfect foil for a computer game. There have been many attempts in the past and here is our guide to the official releases, as well as some notable unofficial releases…

Doctor Who Adventure (1983)

Platform: Atari 800

The first ever Doctor Who game, was an unofficial release - which is very apt for this fanzine! The code (that’s right kids – THE CODE) of Doctor Who Adventure was printed in the March edition of ‘Computer & Video Games’ (Priced 75p), which had Tom Baker on the cover, despite him vacating the role 2 years previously! Made for the Atari 800, users had to enter in their codes to get it to work, a painstaking process that wouldn’t work if one strand of code was entered incorrectly!

The game itself is a simple maze game, which requires you to guide The Doctor through what seems to be an Egyptian Tomb, dodging monsters etc. But without games like this, you wouldn’t have the sort of graphics you get on a PS3, so think twice before you dismiss this as rubbish.

As it turns out, it is rubbish, but what do you want for free, in 1983?

34 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Doctor Who: The First Adventure (1983)

Platform: BBC Micro

Actually, no it isn’t, but the BBC had to market it as such! The First Adventure was released on the Acorn-made BBC Micro in 1983. In this one, you had to guide the 5th Doctor through the different levels, which were versions of famous arcade games. It’s disappointing that the game doesn’t try to do anything different, instead falling back on the likes of Space Invaders and Pac Man to provide the majority of the gameplay.

Doctor Who: The Key To Time (1984)

Platform: Sinclair ZX Spectrum

This is another unofficial release, this time by software company Lumpsoft. It’s a text- adventure game and we love these at Fish Custard Towers - if only for the very funny part of the game, where if you happen to type in a swear word, Mary Whitehouse gets you and you go to ‘Time Lord Heaven’. Genius!

By today’s standards, it’s a simple program that any person with a knowledge of Visual Basic can make, but for those Gamers used to bashing up obese, multi-coloured Dragons, who can speak excellent English as well as taking up an unhealthy obsession with treasure, it can be hard to play as you have to really THINK about the instructions you enter!

Doctor Who and the Warlord (1985)

Platform: BBC Micro

Renowned Doctor Who producer, Graham Williams, was involved with the design of this text-based game. You get to play The Doctor, so make sure you wear something decent, as you battle your way through yet another adventure.

As mentioned above, we love these types of games and its well worth a look. The game comes in two parts, which requires a password to play part 2, so you don’t cheat!

35 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Doctor Who and the Mines of Terror (1985)

Platforms: BBC Micro/Amstrad/Commodore 64

It’s back to the platform games, as Colin Baker is The Doctor, skulking about deep underground, with a robot cat. It’s your typical 80’s platform game that would be cool playing in Arcades, but not on a PC. Especially when you’re trying to balance your tea on your legs, as we found out to our cost.

The only other interesting note about this game is that the costs of making it, were the biggest contributing factor in bankrupting MircoPower, the game’s developer. This may have had something to do with the fact that the game had its own ROM chip, as a BBC Micro machine didn’t have enough memory to run it!

Dalek Attack (1992)

Platforms: PC/Amiga/Commodore 64/Atari ST/Sinclair ZX Spectrum

It’s 1992 and the age of DOS games! Some of better PC games (in my opinion) are DOS-based, because they are simple to play and can be engrossing at the same time. Dalek Attack can be played by either 1 or 2 players, as you can take control of The 7th Doctor or Ace.

The Daleks and Davros are up to their usual ‘taking over the universe’ bollocks and it’s up to YOU to stop them. The first level sees you flying around on one of Dalek flying discs used in some of the old comics and you have to shoot Daleks who follow you. If you can figure out the controls (the spacebar is very handy!) you’ll have lots of fun!

An interesting note for this game, is that it was the last-ever officially-licensed release for the ZX Spectrum.

Doctor Who: Destiny of the Doctors (1997)

Platform: PC

Despite being one of the more recent releases, this game isn’t that great. The first 7 Doctors (including voice clips of Jon Pertwee and a voice actor brought in to voice Doctors 1 & 2) are taken out of time and space by The Master (performed

36 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 for the last time by Anthony Ainley) and you as a ‘Graak’ (a jellyfish creature created by The Doctor) have to rescue The Doctors by undertaking puzzles and avoiding some of his most deadly enemies, and Quarks.

There are some nice touches (including jousting with Sontarans!) and Nick Courtney pops up to play the Brig. It’s not exactly Avatar, it’s not Doctor Who Adventure either. It’s Destiny of the Doctors. It says so on the game’s title screen.

Top Trumps (2008)

Platforms: PC/Playstation 2/Nintendo DS

At the time of its release, this game got a little stick for its simplicity. I personally love it, as a computer is less likely to punch you in the face and steal all your best cards at playtime. Yes, Top Trumps is very much a game for school children, but I’m not going to lie to you and say that I didn’t enjoy it. Not that school kids today would be allowed to play these games, as they’ll probably get them confiscated on health and safety grounds, because the risk of a paper cut (rather than the black-market trading racket that would leave the Mafia a bit squeamish).

You have to challenge a number of Doctor Who monsters to a game of Top Trumps, which involves you having better cards (which are of Doctor Who characters with ratings for each aspect of their abilities) than your opponent. The original card game is quite a decent game to play, but we were too busy kicking a ball around in the playground to be honest. Plus Pogs were better, as you could throw the metal slammer at people. There are no metal slammers in packets of Top Trumps. We checked.

Further reading – Sci-Fi Online’s guide: http://bit.ly/fcsfog

Afterthoughts

There have been many unofficial parody games of Doctor Who, too many to mention. Although Doctor What! is well worth checking out . Also Hugo II: Whodunnit? Is a DOS-based, murder mystery game that has a nice little Doctor Who scene. This game is FREEWARE, so we are able to publish the link here and say download it in your thousands! Seriously, there just aren’t enough text- adventure games these days and they’re well worth playing if you fancy a real challenge, instead of pretending to be a Second World War solider and killing your opponents, played by 7 year-olds, via an Internet link. You can download the game (it’s great to be able to type that!) from here - http://bit.ly/fchugo2

In conclusion, Doctor Who seems perfect for a video game, it’s a concept that can do anything, go anywhere and anywhen. Because of this however, I believe that Doctor Who would never make a satisfactory computer game, as there is just TOO MUCH to fit in, to make it convincing and pleasing to users and fans alike.

37 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Playing the above games have done nothing to change that opinion. It’s okay doing a game as an episode, but once that’s over, you won’t be playing it too many times again.

That’s £40 that would have been better off in the tills of your local pub!

How To Play The Games Today

When I was a kid, you had to get a ‘converter’ that would plug into your computer to play tapes from an older model. Playing these games nowadays runs on the same idea. You need to download an emulator, which is a program that emulates (obviously) a console and is therefore able to play compatible games, which have been compressed into files known as ROMS. Now for any legal eagles watching (have you got anything better to do?) I understand that ROMS are legal IF you either have a copy of the game OR have the publisher’s permission to copy the game. So I would recommend you have a scout around on the Internet if you want to play these games. Fish Custard Fanzine takes no responsibility if you are shot in your bed for copyright fraud. (Which will be difficult in itself, as the majority of the publishers mentioned, technically don’t exist anymore. And there’s a bitey dog next door that would probably scare any copyright police away, so don’t worry about Fish Custard 4 not being published!)

Micro Men

For further background information, I would strongly recommend that you check out the BBC Drama Micro Men, which tells the story of the British Home Computer market in the 70’s and 80’s. The programme centres itself on rivals, Sinclair Computers and Acorn (who made the BBC Micro) and their bosses, Clive Sinclair (played by Alexander ‘Mr Smith in SJA’ Armstrong) and Chris Curry (Martin Freeman). 5th Doctor and star of a BBC Micro game, Peter Davison, also makes a couple of brief appearances as a bank manager, sporting a very dodgy moustache!

Based on real events, a little bit fictitious in parts, Micro Men is a very interesting insight into the computers which the majority of the above games where made for and the men behind them.

38 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 There’s no news of a DVD release, so you’ll have to return to the ‘wonders of the Internet’ (which Clive Sinclair, an inventor of the first slimline pocket calculator and other technologies, doesn’t use!) to see it.

 DANIEL GEE

If anyone would like to review the upcoming Wee release(s), feel free to e- mail the fanzine!

(Please note that The Nintendo Wee, was NOT invented in Scotland)

Acclaim For Fish Fingers and Custard 1 & 2

“I have spent many an evening reading books by Dan Brown and Stephenie Meyer. I thought I had seen the pinnacle of waffle and bullshit, until I read this pile of manure”

Mr T. Osser, Birmingham, UK

“It’s like something that was banned from being published by DWAS, for being a bit fruity”

Mr A. Pandy, London, UK

“I was shocked by the language. I’m writing to the President to get this Harry Sedgewick and his Editor extradited immediately. How DARE they sell their sexist material, to innocent young Americans”

Ms. Palin, Alaska, USA

“At first, my footman thought it was a top self mag, so he bought it in good faith. He didn’t know that the young lady on the front cover was in Doctor Who. I flogged him immediately”

Mr Powell, London, UK

“Like Love It! Magazine, but with less talent”

Ms R. Song, Unknown

“It’s nice to see something I have wrote entirely, being popular”

Mr Levine, UK

39 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 The Fitzroy Tavern Doctor Who Fan Gatherings

By Lea, Editor/Publisher of Venusian Spearmint Fanzine

The Fitzroy Tavern in Charlotte Street, W1, London, has long been associated with Doctor Who fandom. I myself have been attending the monthly gathering, on the first Thursday of each month, off and on for roughly ten years. I’m not completely sure how I first heard about this gathering; I only knew on my first excursion to London that I really wanted to go to this. It’s sort of legendary in some fandom circles – I think particularly when you live in Australia or the USA and you have no idea if or when you’d ever get to go to this gathering, it can take on a special significance.

The gathering of Doctor Who fans has been happening at the Fitzroy Tavern since 1984. Often, numerous Doctor Who novel and Big Finish audio play writers have attended, and some still do; those who don’t live in London often seem to make a point of going if they are in town. Paul Cornell’s 1997 book Licence Denied: Rumblings from the Doctor Who Underground (Virgin Publishing) has a few bits and bobs about the gathering. Luminaries in fandom and beyond such as Paul Cornell himself, Gary Russell, Nicholas Briggs, Mark Ayres, Robert Shearman, and even Steven Moffat have been known to attend in their time.

On preparing this article I asked a couple of fans who have been attending since the prehistory and/or the beginning for their recollections of how it all started. Naturally with personal accounts, sometimes information conflicts, but the bare bones is as follows: The gatherings of ‘sci-fi fans in the pub’ really began in the 1950s with Arthur C. Clarke and other speculative fiction writers. In the 1970s, an influx of media science fiction fans began, who enjoyed Star Trek and the like, and perhaps unsurprisingly, the literary writers and fans all began to move to different watering holes. (Anyone who spends enough time around genre fandom will find this tension between literary and media fans replicated over and over again, which I can confirm from personal experience). The predominantly Doctor Who fan gathering first started in The One Tun pub. Jeremy Bentham offered this recollection:

‘Courtesy of invitations sent out by a North London fan association called The Star Trek Action Group, the first Doctor Who fans began stepping over 'The One Tun's threshold in early 1976. A publically-advertised Doctor Who

40 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Appreciation Society was still a couple of months away from formation but those who would go on to administer its early years were just within the legal drinking age, and so made the most of this new freedom to link up with fellow media s/f fans. Gatherings at The One Tun were subsequently promoted in the Society's (Gestetener-duplicated) fanzines, TARDIS and Celestial Toyroom. By late 1976 it is probably fair to say Star Trek fan numbers were significantly being outnumbered by Doctor Who'fans on these first Thursday evenings. And not just Who fans either. As the 70s steadily unfolded, the narrow confines of this none-too-spacious pub were cramming in dedicated followers of Space 1999, Blake's 7, Hitch Hiker's Guide… and Battlestar Galactica (the original, you might say).’

By this point the gatherings of numerous different types of fans were getting so large and the One Tun was packed solid, so that many of the different fan groups (Battlestar Galactica, Space: 1999, etc. as explained) were going off to other venues. The Doctor Who fans continued merrily along until a disagreement occurred between one of the Doctor Who fandom number and the owner/landlords of The One Tun, and as a result, a few suggested a change of venue. This suggestion was The Fitzroy Tavern, and thus it has continued to this day.

The Fitzroy Tavern itself has long been associated with intellectuals and writers. Such famous names as Dylan Thomas and George Orwell were known to patronise the pub, and there’s at least one story I know about Alistair Crowley showing up there. Famous chaps showing up while I’ve been there include actors Ken Stott and Brendan Gleeson.

For years there has been a tradition of fanzine distribution at the Fitzroy Tavern. During my time I have seen such titles as Concrete Elephant, Now That’s What I Call the Best Fanzine in the World … Ever!, K-Klak!, and Yak Butter Sandwich. But those are only from the last ten years or so; many years have passed with many different fan publications appearing at the Tavern: Spectrox, Private Lives, The Hippo & Bowling Ball, Celestial Farmyard, and Don’t Complain Cos It’s Free. Just earlier on this year a very slick fanzine publication called Vworp! Vworp! had its launch at the Tavern gathering. It has very high production values just like it’s a ‘proppa’ magazine. But most publications through the years were just photocopied materials. I fairly recently started a publication called Venusian Spearmint, talking about anything and everything classic TV or sci-fi/genre related, but always from a Doctor Who fan perspective. I photocopy it and distribute it in the pub, in the attempt to keep the old traditions alive in the internet age of blogs and Twitter. If it is a good night, you should be chatting and imbibing all evening (and possibly going out for some food), and then reading your fanzine on your way home on the bus or tube.

The modern Fitzroy Tavern gathering is very informal indeed. As you may expect there are a few ‘generations of fans’ represented now; as Doctor Who will be

41 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 turning fifty years old in only a few short years. So there are different levels of knowledge and engagement with the programme and its many spinoffs and ancillary products. Like any given group of people, there are politics and sometimes perceived cliques, but if you are friendly and open, fans usually reciprocate. There are ‘satellite’ Doctor Who fan gatherings at other London pubs such as The Rising Sun and The Shakespeare’s Head, and in my native Midwestern USA, the local Minnesota Doctor Who fan group has a ‘Tavern’ gathering on the first Thursday of each month in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul. The Tavern looks firmly set to continue in the midst of Doctor Who on TV, in books, and in audio plays; with print fanzines and yes, even the internet fandom age. Quondiam et semper! [Once and always!]

(With many thanks to Jeremy Bentham, Tony Clark, and Tat Wood.)

Beer in the Evening Guide: http://www.tinyurl.com/thefitzroytavern Wikipedia: http://tinyurl.com/fitzroywikipedia

 LEA

You can join the Venusian Spearmint Fanzine mailing list by sending an e-mail to [email protected]

42 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3 Christmas FIVES

5 Things The Fish Custard Team Will Be 5 Things You Only Get At Christmas Doing At Christmas • Expensive butter • Drinking crates of cheap Slovakian Lager • A Turkey • Making drunken phone calls to loved ones • Gateau at 5.30am • Visits from family you hardly ever see • Telling overly-negative Doctor Who • Attention from Women fans/keyboard warriors to piss off • Tweeting people to tell them to stop 5 Old School Christmas Presents tweeting, as its Christmas Day! • Watching Doctor Who! • Clothing • Board Game 5 Doctor Who Names People Spell Wrong • Book • Rubik Cube • Christopher Ecclestone (Christopher • Lump of Coal Eccleston) • Paul McCann (Paul McGann) 5 Doctor Who-Related Actors Who Are • Peter Davidson (Peter Davison) Appearing in Pantos This Year • John Simms (John Simm) • Wanker (Michael Grade) • John Barrowman (Aladdin, Glasgow) • Frazer Hines (Aladdin, Kettering/Essex) 5 Things That Male Fans Will Say Whilst • Nigel Havers (Dick Whittington, Doctor Who Is On At Christmas Birmingham) • Nigel Planer (Peter Pan, Sheffield) • “Karen Gillan’s got too many clothes on” • Clive Rowe (Jack and the Beanstalk, • “Put that whiskey down boy, you’re only 5. Hackney) Have some rum instead” • “No, I’m not pulling a cracker, piss off, I’m 5 Doctor Who Merchandise You Can Buy watching the telly” • “Katherine Jenkins has got a nice chest • Birthday Cake (boobs)” • Shower Gel • “That episode was shit” • Pyjamas • Talking Money Bank 5 Things That Female Fans Will Say • Talking Christmas Card Whilst Doctor Who Is On At Christmas 5 Hopes For 2011 • “Karen Gillan hasn’t got enough clothes on, she must be freezing” • Doctor Who remains as popular (and • “If you give him any more alcohol, you’re good!) as ever sleeping in the shed” • Matt Smith signs a 5-year contract after • “Oooh Matt’s looking a bit Yummerific” another successful series • “Katherine Jenkins has got a nice chest • The Fish Custard Fanzine website receives (singing voice)” a hit from Cuba • “That Episode wasn’t as good as The • Steven Moffat offers Harry Sedgewick a Runaway Bride” role on Doctor Who • Steven Moffat offers the Editor of this fanzine a job on Doctor Who.

43 Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 3

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