PART I: FROM THE START Chapter 1 When he walked into the bar that night, Nick Carter’s heart was already broken. What am I doing here? he wondered as he made his way through the crowd, looking around at all the happy couples in costume, college kids who’d come to party, groups of women having a girls’ night out. I don’t belong here anymore. He hesitated and had almost turned to leave when he heard the bartender call out, “Hey, what can I get you?” With a sigh, Nick slumped down onto an empty stool. No one else even seemed to notice him; they were all engrossed in conversation, guys cracking jokes and girls giggling without a care in the world. Nick envied them. He’d never felt more alone. “We’ve got some spooky drink specials tonight,” the bartender added with a tight-lipped smile. Her face was made up like a Mexican sugar skull. Before he could order his usual beer, she slid a piece of bright orange paper across the polished wood bartop. Nick scanned the menu briefly, almost smiling at some of the creative cocktail names. Halloween had always been his favorite holiday. He wasn’t in a very festive mood, but being here at the bar was better than spending another night at home by himself, drinking vodka straight from the bottle. “How ‘bout a Vampire Slayer?” he said, the combination of vodka and tequila catching his eye. “Make it strong.” The bartender gave a nod. “You got it.” She poured equal parts of the two spirits into a shaker with a splash of lime juice and a scoop of ice. It was the kind of drink Lauren would have liked, Nick thought, feeling a pang in his chest as he watched the woman pour the cocktail into a martini glass and fill it to the rim with club soda. He fished a ten dollar bill out of his wallet as she handed him his drink. He took a sip. It wasn’t anything special, but not bad either - certainly better than the stuff he’d been drinking back at his vacation home. He couldn’t help but wonder why a bland, colorless cocktail would be called the Vampire Slayer, but it wasn’t a question worth asking. Besides, the bartender had already turned away to serve someone else. Nick set the glass back down on the bar, absently sliding his fingers up and down the stem as he let his mind wander. He wondered what his wife and son were doing. He had texted Lauren that morning to wish her a happy Halloween - it was her favorite holiday, too. “Same to you,” was all she’d said back. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see if she’d sent a photo of Odin in his costume, but there were no new messages. He checked the time. It was only seven o’clock on the West Coast; maybe they were still trick-or-treating. Or maybe she just didn’t care. Maybe she was punishing him for being here instead of there, even though she was the one who had pushed him away. Frowning, he sent her a new text: “ How was Odin’s Halloween?” Then he set his phone down on the bar and stared at it for almost a full minute, willing it to vibrate. But the phone remained silent and still. She’s just busy with Odin, Nick told himself. She’ll text back once she’s put him to bed. But he wasn’t so sure. Lauren hadn’t exchanged many words with him since he’d left, in spite of his efforts to reach out to her. She was still hurting too, he knew. She just had different ways of showing it. That was what had driven them apart in the first place - not just his drinking or her depression, but the way they’d dealt with the same grief so differently. As he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, Nick suddenly got the feeling that someone was staring at him. He looked up and around, his eyes panning across the bar, but no one caught his attention. He was just being paranoid. Still, he pulled down the brim of his Buccaneers cap as he bent over his drink. He didn’t want to be recognized as “Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys,” though he doubted anyone here would know who he was anyway. It looked like a young crowd. Some of these kids weren’t even born when our first album came out, he thought with some amusement, as he took a long swig from his glass. He swallowed hard, welcoming the burn of the tequila as it went down his throat. “You about ready for another?” asked the bartender, as she poured vodka into a glass of ice. Nick nodded. “Yeah, in a few,” he said, his eyes dropping to his phone again. Still no word from Lauren. Stop obsessing, he scolded himself. He knew he needed to back off, just lay low and stay away long enough for her to start missing him. She’d be begging him to come home by Christmas - and maybe he’d be able to get his life back together by then. But he missed her so much already... “Here you go,” said the bartender, setting a highball glass in front of him. It was filled with a bubbly, amber-colored cocktail and garnished with a slice of orange. “Thanks,” said Nick in confusion, “but this isn’t what I was drinking.” The bartender smiled. “Compliments of the couple down at the corner,” she said, tipping her head in their direction. “The lady requested this drink specifically, but if you don’t like it, I’ll make you another Slayer.” Curiously, Nick leaned forward and looked down the L-shaped bar. The blonde woman on the corner caught his eye first. She was wearing a little, white “naughty nurse” costume that was covered with blood, and her face was in full zombie makeup. The dark-haired man sitting beside her had on a bloodstained hospital gown and similar makeup. They looked like a fun couple. Nick smiled and nodded their way, holding up his drink to show his appreciation. They both grinned back, and the girl gave him a little wave. He turned back to the bartender. “What’s in it?” he asked, wondering why the woman had chosen that particular drink. “Vodka, bitters, and ginger ale. It’s called a Headless Horseman.” “Ah.” Nick smiled knowingly as he sipped from the glass. So he had been recognized - and by a real fan, too. Not many other people knew he had once been in a movie set in the legendary Sleepy Hollow. Now he knew who had been watching him earlier. “So? What do you think?” the bartender asked, waiting for his reaction. “It’s good,” he replied. “I think I’ll stick with it. Thanks.” He glanced down at the couple and smiled again. The woman winked. Nick took another drink, then lowered his eyes to his phone. It had been two whole minutes since he’d last looked at it. Thanks for the distraction, he thought. There were two definite downsides to being at the bar by himself: no one to talk to and too much time to think. He supposed he could have struck up a conversation with someone sitting nearby, but he felt awkward doing so. Nick had never had to actively seek out the company of strangers when he went out; they usually came up to him instead. He was used to being the center of attention, constantly surrounded by friends and fans. It had been a long time since he’d felt this lonely. In fact, Nick couldn’t remember ever having been in Key West without some kind of entourage, whether it was his family or a group of friends who was with him. His estrangement from Lauren was making him realize how many old friends and family members he’d lost touch with over the years. That was mostly by choice and probably for the best, considering some of the bad influences he’d had in his life before Lauren had helped him turn it around… but still, it stung to realize that, outside of her relatives and his buddies in the music business, he basically had no one. It wasn’t like it had been back in the day; he couldn’t just randomly call Howie, AJ, Brian, or Kevin to come hang out with him. They were spread out across the country, and they all spent their breaks with their own families, the same way Nick had up until now. He’d come to the Keys because he hadn’t known what else to do with himself or where else to go. Over the years, he had sold his properties in Parkland, Franklin, and Los Angeles. All he had left was a vacation home he rented in Key West, which had always been his go-to getaway spot. It hadn’t always been the best place for him to be, but at least it was familiar. Besides, how much trouble could he get into by himself? Too quickly, Nick finished his drink and ordered another - “plus a round for the zombie couple at the corner,” he told the bartender. “Coming right up,” she replied with a smile. As soon as she delivered the drinks to them, the zombie nurse and patient both grinned at him and raised their glasses.