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Learn More About the 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage by Marriage Expert Abe Kass: Click Or Tap

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Learn More About the 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage by Marriage Expert Abe Kass: Click Or Tap Dear reader, Thanks for downloading my ebook Relationship Glue: The 8 reasons partners stick together. Read it and think carefully how to apply in your relationship the wisdom it contains. If you would like more insight and help with your marriage, I suggest you purchase my book The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage. It is available on Amazon for just a few dollars. The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage will give you the best wisdom on what are the fundamental dynamics of in every healthy, happy and long lasting marriage or committed relationship. Learn more about The 8 Marriage Rules for a Passionate Marriage by marriage expert Abe Kass: Click or Tap Warm regards, RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE ADVICE FOR A SUCCESSFUL AND LONG LASTING PARTNERSHIP Relationship Glue: The Reasons Partners Stick Together By Family Therapist Abe Kass M.A., R.S.W., R.M.F.T. Relationship Glue Abe Kass Relationship Glue The 8 Reasons Partners Stick Together Relationship and Marriage Advice for A Successful and Long Lasting Partnership Published by: Wisdom Scientific DBA SmartLife Contact information: Email: [email protected] Visit us on the web at: wwwSmartLife.com Printed in Canada. All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 by Abe Kass. Version 6. Reproduction of this material With the limited exception noted below, no part of this course may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, either electronic, mechanical, photocopying, microfilm, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews. Any reproduction for any other purpose, including but not limited to resale or other distribution, without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited and will be regarded as unlawful usage of copyrighted materials. Confidentiality and accuracy All identifying details have been changed to ensure confidentiality. Some stories are a composite of similar cases. “True stories” have been compiled for the purpose of research, teaching, and publication. Page 2 Relationship Glue CONTENTS Abe Kass Page The Relationship Belief...................................................................................................4 Chapter 1 Be Kind ...........................................................................................................6 Chapter 2 Be Accepting................................................................................................10 Chapter 3 Honor Your Spouse ....................................................................................18 Chapter 4 Be Private .....................................................................................................19 Chapter 5 Be Loyal ........................................................................................................21 Chapter 6 Be Faithful ...................................................................................................23 Chapter 7 Be Romantic ................................................................................................26 Sensual Love..............................................................................................................26 Emotional Love ........................................................................................................28 Sexual Love ...............................................................................................................32 Spiritual Love............................................................................................................35 Chapter 8 Be Committed ............................................................................................39 Conclusion ......................................................................................................................46 Page 3 Be A Couple-Team Abe Kass The Relationship Belief* A happy marriage is one that integrates the following gender dynamics into the relationship. Keep them in mind when applying the information presented in this course. The Woman A woman instinctively believes: I will nurture so I will feel “treasured.” When my husband “treasures” me, I am loved. A woman’s inborn nature is to nurture. She strives for the well-being of others. In her world, through nurturing others, she hopes to become close to them. When her husband experiences how she enhances his life with her nurturing care, he will treasure her. When a woman feels her husband treasures her, she feels happy, content, and most importantly, loved. Enthusiastically she will then devote herself to his welfare and success. The Man A man instinctively believes: I will achieve so I will be a “hero.” When my wife recognizes me as her “hero,” I am loved. A man’s inborn nature is to achieve. His instincts prod him to seek admiration, power, and wealth. In a man’s world these core-values mark success. This desire to be someone important underlines much of what he does. He believes that when he achieves, he will become a hero. When a man feels he is his wife’s hero, he feels valued, wanted, and most importantly, loved. Enthusiastically he will then seek her well-being and protection. Page 4 Relationship Glue Abe Kass It doesn't matter who you are, where you are, or what you have. � What matters is who is beside you. Seen on a bumper sticker � Introduction n the distant past, religious, social, financial, and sexual considerations forced individuals to remain married even when they were unhappy. For better or worse, contemporary values and opportunities have changed all this. Now, living together Ias a husband and wife is voluntary. Being divorced or living a single life style is accepted, and for some, even desirable. Today, most men and women choose to share their lives together only when there are compelling reasons to do so. What are these “compelling reasons?” They are: Kindness, Acceptance, Honor, Privacy, Loyalty, Faithfulness, Romance, and Commitment. These 8 behaviors bond you and your partner and provide the reasons to stay that way. I call them “relationship glues”. This course if designed to teach you more about each one. Read on... Page 5 Relationship Glue Abe Kass A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, � always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin � Chapter 1 1. Be kind Be kind to your spouse. Your partner married you believing you would be kind to him or her. Otherwise he or she would have refused marriage. If you are not kind your partner will regret having ever met you. If you are kind to your spouse, he or she will bless the day you met. Samples of kind behaviors: ▶ Say good morning. ▶ Ask how he or she slept. ▶ Make something for him or her to eat. ▶ Help find something your spouse misplaced. ▶ Check with your spouse to make sure they have everything they need for the day (money, food, information, etc.). ▶ Call during the day to say hello. ▶ Pick up something at the store you know your spouse will appreciate. ▶ Comfort your spouse if he or she is upset. ▶ Help your spouse with his or her tasks at home or work. ▶ Speak gently and respectfully. ▶ Do favors. Page 6 ▶ Contribute to your partner’s well-being if he or she is sick. Relationship ▶ Honor your spouse’s parents. Glue Abe Kass ▶ Spend time together before you go to sleep. ▶ Say good night at the end of the day. There are many more ways – planned and unplanned – to behave kindly toward your partner, and he or she toward you. The more you do, the more love and health you put Chapter 1 into your marriage. On the other hand, a kindness deficiency is the source of marital conflicts and the cause of many divorces. Anger, selfishness, irresponsible behavior, and criticism are behaviors opposite to kindness and lead to relationship harm. The fact that the perpetrator of these hostile feelings and actions feels justified makes no difference. Little by little he or she cruelly chips away at the very foundation of the relationship until eventually the entire building falls. When this happens everyone in the family suffers. Samples of unkind and cruel behaviors: ▶ Not greeting your partner. ▶ Being indifferent to the needs of your husband or wife. ▶ Criticizing. ▶ Continually speaking about past relationship shortcomings. ▶ Deliberately disagreeing when nothing is being decided. ▶ Deliberately withholding physical and/or emotional warmth. ▶ Getting angry. ▶ Speaking disrespectfully. ▶ Withholding basic needs (e.g. food, money, and attention). ▶ Ignoring. Not talking (unless it is to avoid an argument). ▶ Not giving time, refusing to do favors. ▶ Deliberately making other people more important than your spouse. ▶ Physical, or verbal assault. This includes throwing or breaking objects. Tom and Karen are not unlike many other couples I have helped to create friendship and love. Tom is not unlike many other men who make the fatal miscalculation thinking it is OK to treat one’s spouse according to the impulse of the moment. Doing so for many years almost got him divorced! Tom explained to me that he had lost jobs because he was so direct and harsh in his words when talking to coworkers. His managers and colleagues could not stand to be Page 7 Relationship around him, so they sent him packing. Eventually he learned how to behave around fellow workers so as not to offend them. His career took-off and he was successful. He Glue always remembered to carefully calculate his words when speaking. Abe Kass At home, all was different. It was his strongly held believe that at home, he was entitled
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