Ryan's lonely. Read the mints.
see page 7 .see page 8
Grll/ibi/iry is 'w/ II t".J suni.;ul lrui,. THE CALIFORNIA TECH
XCVIII NUMBER 22 FRIDAY,ApRIL 1997 Students, faculty to discuss CIT Dr. Ho to speak at commencement what the issues are? Well, then come Dr. David Ho has on out anyway on Tuesday, 15 April ag reed to speak at The Ides of April are almost upon and listen to the presentations of the this year's com that means Tax Day, but more im committees first, chaired by Ellis Meng mencement. Dr. Ho, I plIlrtantly, the Student/Faculty Confer (fandchuin@cco), Geoff Smith biology alum '74, Yes, right after the ASCIT Bud (gsmith@londo), and Seth Blumberg has shot to the front get Meeting (see ASCIT Announce· (blumberg@cco), respectively. What's of AIDS research by •••m. , lower right) and right before that? You have class on the 15th? innovatingly com Prefrosh Weekend, ASCIT (with great Well, watch for a scheduling change in bining treatment of from Student Affairs) will attempt your courses, to facilitate your atten RT. protease, and amazing: inviting all members of dance. integrase inhibitors Caltech Community to join in dis The only way this conference can at the start of HIV llca:sslcm of the issues. Do you have a be successful is with your help. Con infection, which in tact the chairs of the committees with 15IIggf:shon, a gripe, or a new idea about most patients ISllildellt life, the honor system, or the your suggestions. I challenge every lowers the level of losophy of undergrads at CIT? ASCIT member to attend and make a come address the Student Life, serious contribution to this effort to virus to near 19onl)r System, and Undergraduate Pur- better our school. The discussions nonexistance, and pose Committees, presented to you for promise to be quite interesting. Please hopefully eliminates jist that reason! watch for further announcements in the infection within What do you say? You don't know Tech and elsewhere. u.:....::~.. a months. leven years of Mozart Concerts ASCIT Announcements
All clubs seeking ASCIT funding should pick up a Budget Proposal form from the SAC Copier Room. The completed budget proposals should be turned in by noon, April 11 tho
Due to unforseeable circumstances, Kara Swedlow, the AS CIT Secretary, is taking a voluntary leave and has given her resignation. Therefore, as per the ASCIT Bylaws, the AS CIT Executive Committee will appoint an interim secre tary, and a new election will be held as sOOn as possible for a permanent secretary. Please watch for flyers and announce ments if you are interested in this position, or email me at kohl@cco. Also, sign-ups will be going up outside of Winnett shortly for AS CIT appointed offices. Here they are: Executive Committee Chairman ASCIT Movies Chairman little t Editors and Business Manager The trumpets of heaven ready to burst forth paradise:r sweetest melody. Big T Editors Big.T Business Manager BY MYFANWY CALLAHAN the last four years, William rected by Delores Bing, Totem Editors Bing has played in the trum will play the Quintet K.617 California Tech Business Manager The time has arrived pet section of the Los Ange for flute, oboe, viola, cello, once again for Caltech's les Chamber Orchestra and and piano. Delores Bing Check pages 85 and 86 of your 96-97 Dear little t for more annual All Mozart Con the Los Angeles Opera Or has worked with Over 500 information (or e-mail kohl@cco). Sign up early, sign up of cert. For the eleventh chestra. small groups of students in ten! year, Caltech singers and The Caltech Chamber the Chamber Music Pro instrumentalists will join Singers will sing Regina gram and won the ASCIT to perform some of Coeli, Ave Verum Corpus, teaching award with her IN THIS ISSUE Wol fgang Amadeus and the Coronation Mass, ac husband William Bing for Mozart's most memorable companied by a small orches their skilled work in the works. tra. The Chamber Singers is Cal tech Music Program. THE USUAL THIS WEEK'S William Bing, the di a small group of only 12 The concert promi ses STUFF FEATURES rector of the Cal tech Jazz graduate and undergraduate to be very enjoyable. Band and Concert Band, students, but their perfor Come and listen for free at Outside Worlds ...... 3 Editors' Box ...... 2 will perform the Trumpet mance rivals that of a much Dabney Hall tomorrow DILBERT® ...... 4 Pahoehoe ...... 3 larger choir. Concerto In E-f1at by (Saturday) at 8 p.m. or Sun Dean'sCorner...... 7 MediaGuy...... 6 Johann Nepomuk Hummel, Finally, members of the day at 3 p.m. Space is lim Announcements ...... 8 a pupil of Mozart's. Four Chamber Music Program, di- ited, so please arrive early. 2 April 4, 1997 OPINIONS THE CALIFORNIA TECIf
EDITORS' BOX
Hi, Dodgers fans of Caltech, unite! We're the Tech Editors and this is our box. • Free food and 3 -units of credit can be yours! You may Lasorda would make an excellent Commencement speaker even see your name in print! Just show up at the Tech meet BY MASON A. P ORTER fear concerning graduation com ments that I discussed above. I ing noon today in the Coffeehouse or find a Tech editor be mencement is that when my am sure, moreover, that many fore Add Day. We'll provide the add cards and signatures. Sheets on which Juniors can name is called, I will not be able entertainers have made CO m_ • If you don't think you can handle the screaming hordes of suggest graduation speakers are to walk up to the podium be mencement speeches in Ihe past fans that come with being a Tech writer, you can still contrib now up in each of the under cause I will have fallen asleep Others may suggest Ihat ute to the Tech on occasion. Send your efforts to: graduate houses. There are a in the grandstands. Lasorda's Tommy Lasorda's accomplish_ [email protected]. Whether you're an undergraduate, multitude of seemingly qualified enthusiasm, however, would ments are not sufficiently nOle_ graduate, faculty member, postdoc, off-campus critter, par candidates, but one's accom surely entertain both the gradu- worthy to merit giving Cal tech's ent, orthe guy scraping old Techs off the Olive Walk, we want plishments should not be commencement address. you to write for us. You will be assimilated. enough to justify one's selec However, on the basis of the • To the people who said the April Fool's cult article was in tion as a commencement messages Lasorda receiVed bad taste: You don't know what bad taste is. Give us a couple Former Dodge{ speaker. Indeed, the ability to last year from the past four of weeks .... manager Tommy • The Tech Editors are deeply indebted to all the people who speak well and entertain one's United States presidents and made the April I st issue possible. A special thanks goes out audience is perhaps equally Lasorda would countless other di stinguished to Caltech Security for helping us hand-deliver that issue to important. With this in mind, breathe life into a people upon his retirement as campus on April Fool's Day. In addition, we would like to my choice as an ideal gradua manager of the Los Angeles thank those who contributed to that issue: Ron Dollete, An tion speaker would be new speech that is Dodgers, many important per drew Childs, Daisy James, Dean Revel, Terry Moran, Samson baseball Hall of Farner Tommy doomed to be sons would find fault with such Timoner, Myfanwy Callahan, the Hell Frosh, Wren Montgom Lasorda. a statement. A friend of mine ery, the Athenaeum Sock Hop announcement, and this week's Lasorda's selection to hackneyed. who graduated from Caltech TFM Chandler Dining Hall menu. baseball's Hall of Fame is last year suggested that • While previous Tech editors may have been intimidating, merely the crown on a career Caltech's administration the current team is scrawny and relatively nonviolent. If you of stellar accomplishments. In ating students and the audience! would never allow somebody have a problem with something in the Tech, please talk to us addition to his excellent work on One must not forget that the such as Lasorda to be the com directly instead of pestering the administration. They're not the baseball diamond, he has purpose of comm,encement is for mencement speaker. I of course responsible for us and don't need the abuse. Our e-mail ad served as an ambassador for the our friends and families to wit do not possess the knowledge to dre.ss remains [email protected]. Kind comments are game for over twenty years. He ness the culmination of our edu refute that, but I unequivocally also appreciated. has preached about baseball as cational path. Its theme song, hope that that is not the case. an elixir to hardship in countless ''Pomp and Circumstance," is an Cal tech has so far managed not Ryan Cox Autumn Looijen Erik Streed communities in countless na accurate reflection of its exist to embitter me (as it has numer ~ tions. During this time, he has ence. Commencement means ous other students), but a trav made thousands of speeches nothing beyond what its audi esty such as that would go a long ~ across the world. Further, ence and participants feel about way in doing so. My challenge Lasorda's presence at charily it. The testament to one's hard to the student body is to give the events is well-known. work in earning one's degree lies administration a chance to prove Lasorda has a very dynamic not in a pretentious ceremony their commitment to us. Re personality, and his speeches but in what one has learned and quest Tommy Lasorda as the reflect that. Every commence accomplished. Given that, one commencement speaker for the ment speech I have experienced should strive to make such cer Class of 1998! (about one dozen or so) has been emonies as entertaining as pos trite and boring. It seems to me sible. graduation speeches inevitably Some people may suggest THE CALIFORNIA TeCH display mostly the same senti that it is inappropriate to have Caltech 40-58, Pasadena, CA 91125 ments. The difference therefore an entertainer give the com phone: (818) 395-6153 advertising: (818) 395-6154 lies in the specific content and mencement address. I disagree e-mail: [email protected] advertising: [email protected] sty Ie. Former Dodger manager with this both because many ISSN 0008-1 582 Tommy Lasorda would breathe entertainers have accomplished life into a speech that is doomed a great deal and because of the VOLUME XCVIII, NUMBER 22 to be hackneyed. My greatest intended purpose of commence- APRIL 4, 1997
EDITORS PAST ~ -U P Ry;ll1 Cnx Terry Mnr.lll Autumn L"nijcn PARlAN TRAVEL Erik SlfeeIJ D.o.AA!!.OOIO Mou n~l..",. ~ E ....~ ~ ,.. Caltech Officially Approved Malnd~lrin & Szechwan Cuisine-Bestln Townl W""n Mnntgnmcry BU51!'ESB MA! ESQUIRE COLORADO Bargain Finder Travel Puhlishcd weekly cu;cpt during va.;;tl.i,)II 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. and naminatiu" periods lIy tllcAsslldatcd SIIl BY JOE TRELA -- by Myfanwy Callahan DAY 4 - SUNDAY, MARCH 17TH PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA - tween it and Poland, a candidate ;Mundo Fuego, No Es Bueno! Hand grenades thrown into the for NP:I'O expansion. Day Four began with greet midst of a large political rally ings from the denizens of Camp killed at least 16 people and KINSHASA, ZAIRE - Kil auea, who were practicing - wounded 120. The two co Parliament recently elected wait a second. You mean you Prime Ministers agreed to at Etienne Tshisekedi, an enemy of didnt know there was a Camp tempt to calm the populace al the country's dictator, to the of Kilauea? Well, it's every Ha though the two of them are fice of Prime Minister. Mobutu waiian kid's dream for their barely on speaking terms. Sese Seko is expected to ap- parents to pay $140.95 to send prove the appointment despite !hem there for the summer so JERUSALEM, isRAEL his personal qualms !hey could learn how to placate A firebomb in because his power Pele, bodysurf down basalt cliffs West Bank is undermined and run away screaming from killed 13 Is by military up silicic lava flows as the slower "So where the heck are those darn birds?" Laura asked angrily. raeli soldiers rising and the cam p counselors are immolated on Wednes rebels are ill their beds! But seriously, it's parently before the invention of "Bad Ass Coffee Company," ugly day. This fol gaining I training base used by the Na wood. Its latest incarnation, rock graffitti, swimming, spent lowed shortly ground. lion al Guard and the U.S. Army built in 1920, featured what was night at State Beach cabins after two explo Special Forces to practice for the claimed to be the longest con DAY 8 - THURSDAY, MARCH 21 sions in Gaza and day we have to retake Iwo Jima tinually burning fireplace in the Hope Your Brakes Work. You the fatal shooting of or some other volcanic island world, and sure enough, the fire Poor, Dumb Bastard! two Palestinians. The from Saddam Hussein. Any place and half the lounge were Swimming, Dunite lava tube & gency was still in effect way, while we were kicking out on fire when we got there, with such, Keck Building, cool wet new violence caused Prime Thursday after 24 inches of die jams for the day's coming waiters and cashiers desperately cave, tourist trap, big hills + Minister Benjamin Netanyahu snow fell in Boston. At that time exerti ons, we noticed several trying to put it out with compli much rain. Pu'kiawe!!! Spent to schedule a crisis meeting with 200,000 people still had no elec people in camoflouge jumping mentary pitchers of orange juice. night at "Oregon Coast." President Clinton. King tricity in Massachusetts. around amidst the low ridge not I wondered why they bothered And we got to see the Keck Hussein of Jordan called for "a ten feet from our cabins. I fighting the forces of history. By building, where the only gradu more active U.S. role_" WASHINTON, D.C. - quickl y ran through the various the time we fought through the ate students there were working A new federal law that will re goals of known active militia flames and were seated next to with the Keck telescope(s) way Moscow, RusslA- duce immigration was put into grou ps in my mind and came to the big picture window, we up on Mauna Kea (that's the President Boris Yelstin signed effect Tuesday. The law re \be conclusion that while NSF fQ.und that it was actually worth pointy one, remember). We a pact with Belarus on Wednes stricts the number of immi mon ey might not put us in it, with a great view of the fog didn't actually get to go inside, day to form a new economic grants and makes it easier for league with the Trilateral Com between us and Halemaumau but I was too busy being happy and political union of the states. the Government to deport ille Jllissi on, we still stood a chance Crater. Spam® figured promi about finding an ATM to care. Russia thus gains a buffer be- gal immigrants. !If being mistaken for either a) nently in the brunch buffet, but DAY 9 - FRIDAY, MARCH 22 ATF agents or b) the New World then it's apparently quite popu From The Clutches of One God- - Order and hence would be prime lar acrOSS the islands and after dess Into Another by freak lava surges, localized py its geometry from long strike-slip largets for the G. Gordon Liddy several days of Vienna sausage Shopping at Hila Hattie's, flight roclastic flows, suborbital basalt segments to Gulf of Califomia Man euver. "We never should and Ritz crackers I gleefully sa back to LAX bombs and at least one meteorite type active rift zones. The only have rented those black helicop vored the subtle differences in Four cans of coconu(-macad- which, while identified as origi chance of survival for myself and Iers back at Hila," I muttered flavor, color and sodium content amia brittle, a volcanic-soil re- nally coming from Mars, was southern California is for me to pimly to Lazlo as I got ready to between the two potted meat frigerator magnet, a Pele book definitely made of magmatic leave quickly and move to a cra bring my Swiss army knife to products. and T-shirt and some govem- rock. As I write this, the lava ton without any nearby mantle bear at the first sign of gunfire. DAY 7 - WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20 ment-inspected sugar cane. dome that has formed on Mount derived hot spots; hence I am ac But, as it turned out, they were In All Regards, An Unappealing AFTERMATH Wilson. is growing at a rate of 2 cepting a position as assistant all with the National Guard or Day It is now eleven months since the centimeters per day, while micro technical writer for the Depart some such organization and Basalt "tongue" cave, Sick Cats, group returned from Hawaii. quake frequency is up by almost ment of Creation Science at Oral were on maneuvers. Everything South Point & windmills, up Since then, all of the undergradu- 2000%. The entire San Andreas Roberts University, Tulsa, OK. was okay! Kana coast, olivine roadside wall, ates but myself have been killed Fault also seems to be changing May Pele have mercy on my soul. Pu'u 0'0 - not for me, Ha waii Militia, Up Mauna Loa Road, bird sanctuary, view of Ka'u Desert through nene coun try. Spent night at VNP DAY 5 - MONDAY, MARCH 18TH IsAnyone Else's Throat Burning? Mauna Ulu active crater, Devil's Hole, covered freeway from 1983 eruption, nearly gassed off coast, samples of Pele's tears and reticulite (more lava tubes). Robbery! it tums out that Ha waiian Air lost $40 million dol HOW ABOUT lars last year. Does this mean we have to swim home? Spent Night at VNP DINNER WITH THE Idly, I wondered how fast I could run downhill anaerobically. MOSH? DAY 6 - TUESDAY, MARCH 19TH Sugarcane Weasels Ripped My Flesh Volcano House breakfast, more Now is your time to come to dinner lava trees (pushing thr the Underbrush). Ka' esert & with other students, faculty and staff foo tprints, spen night at at Steele House. Whittington Point (black sand), didnt see turtle. Saw Alpha C? At last, breakfast at the fam ed Volcano Hoase. The If you would like to sign up please see Sue original House was a shack Chiarchiaro in the Residence Life office. made out of palm fronds for visi tors (missionaries, gawkers and the like) back in the 1840's, ap- 4 April 4, 1997 D ILBERT® ______T_HE_C_A_Ll_FO_RN_lA_T_ EC..;,,! by Scott Adams ,------, ' r . ...--... ~--....~ AJ~D THEy I ' 'ilOfm ""E DOWN. . IT', GOT TO BE THOSE 'ADEN'T ! IN O.R.DER. 10 REDUCE 1'0 BETTER ORDER CAROL. ORDER SOME ~Ew ,." " lHI5 ONE , I, /'. ~,CRALE I, LOW, < ~N"I-M~N.&.GEMENT , E.,(PEN~E5 , ONLY THE g SO/'>\E ~USINESS IlUS'LNESS CARDS FOR , - C' HAS :)()I-, I I WhAT IS T~Ht:ROOT CARTOON5 THE ' eVEN I EMPLOYEES IN E55ENTlAl ~ ~ MISSiON I ?ROBLEM 7 EMPLOYEE, HANG FUNNY. J"OBS MAY HAVE E OOH, NO CAN 00, :I ~ --"til'; , i ON TH(lR CUBICLE • 5TI'TEMEN1 , I, OOSINESS CARD5. j BUT YOu CAN I I, I WALLS' l F='TIr==il=l==ircj WRROW SOME , .. II ; II i OF MINE, j! Irl • r-----. -----I ~ .f. ______._-",,)-,1" L ___~::O:"2::~.LJ ,;. '__==_1L__'-'-""_'''--!J.: 1-, i" oANNING THE '(OU'R.E IT'S THE 'L ""TE TO INTEI\RUPT 010 YOU PC 5T[NC, ?F AN Tr BANNING IS THER.E E SUBJECT YOU", LOUD CONVERSATION JUST KEAR IT SOUNDED SOMETHING ~ LIKE , ,v', ANAGEMENT HUI'\OR TO OF TODAV:S ~NO YOU OUTSIDE MY CUBICLE " , A STRANGE WI\ONG W[TH (ARTOONS IN THE MISE CAI'.TOON , SEE HOW " ME.LP ! THAT? NOISE? OFFICE, THEY HuRT MOI\ALE? IT'S NOT ""HP.I" M.OR.ALL ~ I fUNNY? ) \.. ) IWA'-l..Y, ! FORGOT TO T(LL HE ACTU. " .'CAUSE ',' SON1E OF YOU'RE SURE US HAI'TA a= C~N I C~LL -rl-UO!EE SQJ<"RES ! KEE.P GQ(N' AROUND IN THAT "GENERAL "? EVERY ~y! c--....." CIRCLES' / GRADUATE SCHOOL WEEK APRIL 7 -11,1997 during Closer Graduate Graduate Look at School School Week !Iondil!, Applying to Graduate School Workshop April 7 7:30·9:00 PM, SAC Room 13 Tne CDC will hosl 0 panel of graduate studenfs and graduating seniors who will shore their experiences in choosing graduate programs, filling out oppiicotions, getting good leHers of recommendation, and writing an effective personal statement. Tucsil ;)!, Applying to Graduate School Workshop Apri lS 7:30·9:00 PM , Winnelt Club Room 1 The some information as in Monday night's workshop will be presented. \\'ciincsililJ, Decisions about Graduate School April 9 7:30·9:00 PM , Winnett lounge A panel of Caltech alumni will discuss taking a break after your 8.S., deciding which graduate schoo/·small vs. farge, should' get an MBA. and otner questions you naVe. Thul'lilar, The Nuts and Bolts of Applying to Graduate School April 10 7:30 - 9:00 PM, Beckman Ins titu te Auditorium A panel of university representatives will discuss tne application process and what they look for in personal stotements, Jeffers of recommendation, and test scores. Panelists include representatives fram Stanford, Princeton, Co/tech, and UC San Diego. Friilil f, Grad Fair April II 110m - 2 PM, Winnett Student Center Representatives from premier graduate pragrams across the country will be on hand to answer yaur questions and distribute literature. lIamrd • Sianioni • U, of Illinois at 1 ' l t'n'·I1i' m~lil'l • II, of 1Ii1~i~ln • Lf.'ili • Ut:ill • t:ll.I • l''it: . r,lIat • lilT. i'rinrelon • Ullitl! _1 ae]: fie] ;j3 .i :$" j: I J3 .t4 f: I Jij /J II.,·, j Je] j i [31:' i: I,.,! 11M: I r-$}ieI3 t·, j tel: • THE CALIFORNIA T ECH FEATURES April4,1997 5 Women's Center Love Letters was a joy to watch BY JOHN HATFIELD able to show us the life of his government as he continues to Review Committee character in great detail. do what his father taught him On Saturday, March 8, Michael Learned also did a and help others; Gardner, on the BY LIZ HOLT the entire Caltech community, Cal tech Public Events presented fine job as Melissa Gardner, the other hand, with no steady pa - ([email protected]. the delightful play Love Letters, impetuous and headstrong rental hand, goes through mar As part of the establishment edu). We hope that community by A. R. Gurney. Both poignant woman and girl who could never riages like fashions and contin of the Caltech Women's Center comments will address any rel and humorous, this tale takes us quite face reality. When they ues to struggle with the tempta in 1993, the Faculty Board pro evant aspect of Women's Cen on the life journey of two char write letters to each other as tions of alcohol and drugs until vided for a periodic review of ter performance, including acters, Andrew Makepeace small children, their interplay her life comes to its bitter end. die Women's Center's accom which past activities have been Ladd III, and Melissa Gardner. shows both the good points and A. R. Gurney draws a beautiful pli shments and benefits to the most imponant to the various el Andrew, played with great bad points of growing up in the difference between the stable Caltech community. Accord ements of the Institute commu depth by Patrick Harrington, rich society of the 1930's and family life of Makepeace Ladd i1gly, Provost Steve Koonin has nity (students, faculty, and was near perfect throughout the '40s. From the over-the-top par III and the results it brings and gathered a group of men and staff), ways in which service show, from a lovable and hard ties thrown for youngsters' the disastrous results of the un women including undergradu may be expanded, and ways in working, if slightly pretentious binhdays, to the continual pres stable and hideous early family lies, graduate students, post which Women's Center activi boy, to the distingu ished Sena sure put on Makepeace Ladd by that Gardner endured. doctoral scholars, faculty, and ties might better interact with tor he becomes. Filling the char his father, to the societal strains In sum, this is a wonderful saaff to serve on the Women's other campus organizations, acter with life and depth, the rise of divorce has caused on play about what growing up Center Review Committee. (i.e., Student Affairs, Human Harrington became the boy its children (showed with great means, how it affects us, and This committee will report its Resources, etc.). Those who forced to write the thank-you aplomb by Melissa Gardner), what it means to have a friend findi ngs to the Faculty Board no wish to comment in person may note, the adolescent writing Love Letters shows this society to whom we really can tell all Iller than June 1997. contact one of the following about college life, the family in all its grandeur, and all its our dark secrets. It treats both In order to gather informa committee members directly: man telling of his own fonunes pettiness. As time goes on, so the light and dark subjects well, rion for the review, the commit Joann Stock (Chair), Joel and misfonunes in raising his ciety changes, and so do our and with dignity. If this is rep lee has set up a permanent e Franklin, Elizabeth Holt, Rusty children. Just by the simple act characters. Makepeace Ladd III resentative of theatrical produc mail address to solicit com Lansford, David Levy, Maria of reading his letters to his very is transformed by Yale, the tions that Caltech presents, then ments and opinions about the Satterwhite, and Nai-Chang good friend, for Melissa is most Navy, an Oriental romance, law I must heartily recommend Caltech Women's Center from Yeh. imponantly that, Harrington is school, and finally joining the them. I\!lg ~ime." on Gree'l. RESA LE Cr",L OTHING WOMEN 1136 E. Green St. • Pasadena (8 18) 796-9924 'ltd J()..6 . Mon·Tur-Thu·Fri I().S . Sat 1()"3 ACADEMY BARBER SHOP 1] N. Catalina Ave., Pasadena Open Tues. -Sal.. 7 A. M. -4 P. M. You've got ,a long road ahead ofyou. Get comfortable. BIRKENSTO(K® 0FF YOUR NEXT PAIR OF REGULAR PRICED BIRKENSTOCK SHOES I $10 REGISTER TO WIN A FREE PAIR! BIRKENSTOCK OF PASADENA lUCHA COMFORT FOOTWEAR WALK THIS WAY 696 E. COlORADO, #11, PASADENA 921 FAIR OAKS AVENUE, S. PASADENA 2253 HONOLULU AVENUE, MONTROSE 818-79~028 818-799-6891 a 18·248-7206 THE CALIFORNIA TEe" 6 April4, 1997 FEATURES .... bad taste than Larry Flynt. This movie made me lau gh more than any movie in years ADAM VILLANI: had. 5. Sling Blade- Billy Bob Thornton's character of Karl Childers will be remem bered for ages to come. A refreshing tale of a man trying to find hi s place in society. MEDIA GUY 4. Trainspotting- The highs and lows of drug use are vividly portrayed in this BY ADAM VILLANI exhilarating British film . This should have won Best Editing. 3. Cyclo-This little-seen, unsettling view of the grimy underbelly of Hanoi couldn't Post-Oscar 1996 Movie Wrap-Up be farther in tone from Tran Anh Hung's genteel previous movie, The Scent oiGreen Papaya, but it's every bit as good. Images from this movie disturb me to this day. During last tenn this column was so packed with both the new 1997 films and the 2. Breaking the Waves - Lars von Trier's breathtaking, challenging study of faith, tail-enders from last year that I never got around to showing you my top ten li st for love, devotion, and sacrifice featured the sensational debut of my choice for Best the year. Last week's Oscar ceremony pretty much sealed the door on the 1996 movie Actress, Emily Watson. season, so I figure I'd better show it to you now. I saw about 80 1996 releases, but was 1. Dead Man- Also unjustly overlooked, Jim Jarmusch's existential Western with able to be quite selective; there were only about 5 movies that I actively disliked. Johnny Depp was the most mesmerizing film of the year. Robby Muller's beauti fu l While I can of course make no claims on films I haven't seen, these are what I cinematography and Neil Young's haunting score complement this story of a dying consider to be the best of last year's crop: man on a journey of di scovery. "- 10. Microcosmos- Hands-down, a simply amazing film. This French documentary So what did I think oftheOscars? I'm happy for Fargo's and Billy Bob Thornton's about the insects in one meadow brought us the closest look ever at the world beneath wins, though they wouldn't be my top choice in their respective categories. I'm also our feet. glad Lauren Bacall didn' t get the sympathy award just for being old and beloved. 9. Chungking Express- Hong Kong's Wong Kar-Wai perfectly captured the feeling But what about The English Patient? I thought it was a good, albeit not great movie, of being alone amongst the millions in a big city. and can credit its Best Picture win to a legitimate difference in taste. But who can 8. Fargo- Wryly funny crime and mystery against the backdrop of majestic white truthfully tell me they thought The Ellglish Patient had the year's best Art Direction, landscapes and down-home Midwestern chann. Acting kudos all around, too. Costume Design, or Sound? In the year that saw an unprecedented number of inde 7. The Frighteners- Peter Jackson's unjustly overlooked followup to Heavenly Crea pendent films nominated, the big winner was the independent film that seemed the tures was sheer entertainment, with a wildly original plot, great special effects, and in most like an old big-budget studio epic, and it swept away everything in its path. 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Read the prospectus carefully Mfore yoo invest or Slt"nd money. o..te of finr' use: 2/97. _~iaraMadreBlvd. FEATURES April 4, 1997 7 if it is gained by copying some sistants are delightful people to Dean's Corner one else's results, spending talk to. After all, it is not un more than the allotted time, or usual for unattached Profs. to taking advantage in any other eventually marry otherwise un Here comes the 3rd Therm way. attached A.A. 's, but the A.A. 's If there is too much work don't have the training or aca these and you don' t have enough demic standing that the Profs. things are mat- time, that is also telling you are presumed to have. by Jean-Paul Revel ters for the Boe. Please act something: either you spend The idea of a signature is wtoIe on this premise. Behave so as too much time on something(s) to give you a reason to have at life is here, I to avoid taking advantage of else, or you need extra help to least a cursory discussion with mean there.) others. assimilate the material in the your Advisor. If that's impos And it is the first term on Note that the BoC is com course. There are several ways sible, then come and talk to us grades for the Frosh, who by posed of students, your c1ass- to deal with that, and they don't in the Dean's Office. Dean Here we are, the heat is on now are expected to be ready include any of the sins that Green and I do enjoy talking to more on the way, the new for this change in life. Just to can be committed against the you and helping you solve your has started, the last term be sure, I want to repeat my All of you are code. Talk to your TA, or problems. '96-'97 Academic Year. self a little and present sev Heaven help you, your Prof. One of the things we can . as if you did not know it. eral items for your consider fantastic, and all (E-mail works wonders for do (and no one else can) is ar on gals and guys, one ation which I hope you can can do the work those whose schedules are out range for a private tutor (they pull. Oh I know, for many help do something about. of synch.) are paid by the Dean's Office, it will be a term of One of these items has to that is demanded Talk to your Advisor; there no cost to you). We'll also of 1,iIJ'Ili.mte, a term of tomorrows do with the Honor Code, of you. Admissions is no shame attached to do fer cookies andlor coffee or Day is tomorrow). which we all know is the never makes ing so. The advisors by and pop. The seniors, having accu greatest thing since Cal tech large have vol unteered to So please do yourself and mul ated their 486 units (not to was founded. It is most sur mistakes. work with students. All stu the rest of us a favor. Keep up be confused with pre-Pentium prising therefore to find that dents have Advisors, but if with your homework, do your CPUs, although they may well the same sermon has to be re you think you don't have one, work honestly and fairly, come have accumulated one of those peated. I say has to, because mates and housemates, and that in spite of my saying so, come and talk early if something, or 100) can now coast, unless they each term seems to bring anew they are spending their time be and talk to me or e- mail me someone, bothers you. want a last chance to get in problems that have already cause of your mi sdoings. If about it. So there; even though the . Stubtoe or Knockhead's been visited, albeit with differ that's not taking advantage of The idea behind having the heat is on let's have the best super rel ativity course. ent people, but that just says the your peers I don 't know what Advisors sign the registration therm ... ever. Cool? You bet. But they have a chance to problem is common. IS. cards, add cards, drop cards, Maybe I shou ld audit Thermo? tasti ng what Ii fe after Well here I go, repeat after Now, all of you are fantas petitions and the like is to en . .. 1'11 think about it and so I'll 1~lt ec: h will consist of. (At me: "anything, any behavior tic, and all can do the work that courage you to go and talk to be. In the meantime, least I concede that there may which leads one person (or a is demanded (Jf you. Admis them in person. Having a sec A bienlol, be li fe after Cal tech, quite an group) to acquire unfair advan sions never makes mistakes. It retary sign your forms does no adm ission on my part, says my tage over another is a violation should also be obvious that a one any good. I am sure most wife, who believes that my of the Honor Code." 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