Ryan's lonely. Read the mints. see page 7 .see page 8 Grll/ibi/iry is 'w/ II t".J suni.;ul lrui,. THE CALIFORNIA TECH XCVIII NUMBER 22 FRIDAY,ApRIL 1997 Students, faculty to discuss CIT Dr. Ho to speak at commencement what the issues are? Well, then come Dr. David Ho has on out anyway on Tuesday, 15 April ag reed to speak at The Ides of April are almost upon and listen to the presentations of the this year's com­ that means Tax Day, but more im­ committees first, chaired by Ellis Meng mencement. Dr. Ho, I plIlrtantly, the Student/Faculty Confer­ (fandchuin@cco), Geoff Smith biology alum '74, Yes, right after the ASCIT Bud­ (gsmith@londo), and Seth Blumberg has shot to the front get Meeting (see ASCIT Announce· (blumberg@cco), respectively. What's of AIDS research by •••m. , lower right) and right before that? You have class on the 15th? innovatingly com­ Prefrosh Weekend, ASCIT (with great Well, watch for a scheduling change in bining treatment of from Student Affairs) will attempt your courses, to facilitate your atten­ RT. protease, and amazing: inviting all members of dance. integrase inhibitors Caltech Community to join in dis­ The only way this conference can at the start of HIV llca:sslcm of the issues. Do you have a be successful is with your help. Con­ infection, which in tact the chairs of the committees with 15IIggf:shon, a gripe, or a new idea about most patients ISllildellt life, the honor system, or the your suggestions. I challenge every lowers the level of losophy of undergrads at CIT? ASCIT member to attend and make a come address the Student Life, serious contribution to this effort to virus to near 19onl)r System, and Undergraduate Pur- better our school. The discussions nonexistance, and pose Committees, presented to you for promise to be quite interesting. Please hopefully eliminates jist that reason! watch for further announcements in the infection within What do you say? You don't know Tech and elsewhere. u.:....::~.. a months. leven years of Mozart Concerts ASCIT Announcements All clubs seeking ASCIT funding should pick up a Budget Proposal form from the SAC Copier Room. The completed budget proposals should be turned in by noon, April 11 tho Due to unforseeable circumstances, Kara Swedlow, the AS CIT Secretary, is taking a voluntary leave and has given her resignation. Therefore, as per the ASCIT Bylaws, the AS CIT Executive Committee will appoint an interim secre­ tary, and a new election will be held as sOOn as possible for a permanent secretary. Please watch for flyers and announce­ ments if you are interested in this position, or email me at kohl@cco. Also, sign-ups will be going up outside of Winnett shortly for AS CIT appointed offices. Here they are: Executive Committee Chairman ASCIT Movies Chairman little t Editors and Business Manager The trumpets of heaven ready to burst forth paradise:r sweetest melody. Big T Editors Big.T Business Manager BY MYFANWY CALLAHAN the last four years, William rected by Delores Bing, Totem Editors Bing has played in the trum­ will play the Quintet K.617 California Tech Business Manager The time has arrived pet section of the Los Ange­ for flute, oboe, viola, cello, once again for Caltech's les Chamber Orchestra and and piano. Delores Bing Check pages 85 and 86 of your 96-97 Dear little t for more annual All Mozart Con­ the Los Angeles Opera Or­ has worked with Over 500 information (or e-mail kohl@cco). Sign up early, sign up of­ cert. For the eleventh chestra. small groups of students in ten! year, Caltech singers and The Caltech Chamber the Chamber Music Pro­ instrumentalists will join Singers will sing Regina gram and won the ASCIT to perform some of Coeli, Ave Verum Corpus, teaching award with her IN THIS ISSUE Wol fgang Amadeus and the Coronation Mass, ac­ husband William Bing for Mozart's most memorable companied by a small orches­ their skilled work in the works. tra. The Chamber Singers is Cal tech Music Program. THE USUAL THIS WEEK'S William Bing, the di­ a small group of only 12 The concert promi ses STUFF FEATURES rector of the Cal tech Jazz graduate and undergraduate to be very enjoyable. Band and Concert Band, students, but their perfor­ Come and listen for free at Outside Worlds .... ....... ................ 3 Editors' Box ............. ... .......... ... .2 will perform the Trumpet mance rivals that of a much Dabney Hall tomorrow DILBERT® ... .......... .. .................4 Pahoehoe .............. .. .. .................. 3 larger choir. Concerto In E-f1at by (Saturday) at 8 p.m. or Sun­ Dean'sCorner....... ... .... ..............7 MediaGuy.. ........................... .... 6 Johann Nepomuk Hummel, Finally, members of the day at 3 p.m. Space is lim­ Announcements ... ............. .. ....... 8 a pupil of Mozart's. Four Chamber Music Program, di- ited, so please arrive early. 2 April 4, 1997 OPINIONS THE CALIFORNIA TECIf EDITORS' BOX Hi, Dodgers fans of Caltech, unite! We're the Tech Editors and this is our box. • Free food and 3 -units of credit can be yours! You may Lasorda would make an excellent Commencement speaker even see your name in print! Just show up at the Tech meet­ BY MASON A. P ORTER fear concerning graduation com­ ments that I discussed above. I ing noon today in the Coffeehouse or find a Tech editor be­ mencement is that when my am sure, moreover, that many fore Add Day. We'll provide the add cards and signatures. Sheets on which Juniors can name is called, I will not be able entertainers have made CO m_ • If you don't think you can handle the screaming hordes of suggest graduation speakers are to walk up to the podium be­ mencement speeches in Ihe past fans that come with being a Tech writer, you can still contrib­ now up in each of the under­ cause I will have fallen asleep Others may suggest Ihat ute to the Tech on occasion. Send your efforts to: graduate houses. There are a in the grandstands. Lasorda's Tommy Lasorda's accomplish_ [email protected]. Whether you're an undergraduate, multitude of seemingly qualified enthusiasm, however, would ments are not sufficiently nOle_ graduate, faculty member, postdoc, off-campus critter, par­ candidates, but one's accom­ surely entertain both the gradu- worthy to merit giving Cal tech's ent, orthe guy scraping old Techs off the Olive Walk, we want plishments should not be commencement address. you to write for us. You will be assimilated. enough to justify one's selec­ However, on the basis of the • To the people who said the April Fool's cult article was in tion as a commencement messages Lasorda receiVed bad taste: You don't know what bad taste is. Give us a couple Former Dodge{ speaker. Indeed, the ability to last year from the past four of weeks .... manager Tommy • The Tech Editors are deeply indebted to all the people who speak well and entertain one's United States presidents and made the April I st issue possible. A special thanks goes out audience is perhaps equally Lasorda would countless other di stinguished to Caltech Security for helping us hand-deliver that issue to important. With this in mind, breathe life into a people upon his retirement as campus on April Fool's Day. In addition, we would like to my choice as an ideal gradua­ manager of the Los Angeles thank those who contributed to that issue: Ron Dollete, An­ tion speaker would be new speech that is Dodgers, many important per­ drew Childs, Daisy James, Dean Revel, Terry Moran, Samson baseball Hall of Farner Tommy doomed to be sons would find fault with such Timoner, Myfanwy Callahan, the Hell Frosh, Wren Montgom­ Lasorda. a statement. A friend of mine ery, the Athenaeum Sock Hop announcement, and this week's Lasorda's selection to hackneyed. who graduated from Caltech TFM Chandler Dining Hall menu. baseball's Hall of Fame is last year suggested that • While previous Tech editors may have been intimidating, merely the crown on a career Caltech's administration the current team is scrawny and relatively nonviolent. If you of stellar accomplishments. In ating students and the audience! would never allow somebody have a problem with something in the Tech, please talk to us addition to his excellent work on One must not forget that the such as Lasorda to be the com­ directly instead of pestering the administration. They're not the baseball diamond, he has purpose of comm,encement is for mencement speaker. I of course responsible for us and don't need the abuse. Our e-mail ad­ served as an ambassador for the our friends and families to wit­ do not possess the knowledge to dre.ss remains [email protected]. Kind comments are game for over twenty years. He ness the culmination of our edu­ refute that, but I unequivocally also appreciated. has preached about baseball as cational path. Its theme song, hope that that is not the case. an elixir to hardship in countless ''Pomp and Circumstance," is an Cal tech has so far managed not Ryan Cox Autumn Looijen Erik Streed communities in countless na­ accurate reflection of its exist­ to embitter me (as it has numer­ ~ tions. During this time, he has ence. Commencement means ous other students), but a trav­ made thousands of speeches nothing beyond what its audi­ esty such as that would go a long ~ across the world. Further, ence and participants feel about way in doing so. My challenge Lasorda's presence at charily it. The testament to one's hard to the student body is to give the events is well-known.