(Sub)Culture: the Experiences of the BDSM Community

Home , Consent (BDSM), Sexual consent

Consent (sub)Culture: The Experiences of the BDSM Community

A thesis submitted

To Kent State University in partial

Fulfillment of the requirements for the

Degree of Master of Arts

Kayla Cagwin

December 2018

Thesis written by Kayla Cagwin B.S., Virginia Commonwealth University, 2016 M.A., Kent State University, 2018

Approved by

______Advisor, Department of Sociology Tiffany Taylor ______Chair, Department of Sociology Richard Serpe ______Dean, College of Arts and Sciences James L. Blank

TABLE OF CONTENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS………………………………………………………………….……..iii

LIST OF TABLES………………………………………………………………………….…….vi

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS……………………………………………………………………….v

I. INTRODUCTION………………………………………………………………………………1

II. LITERATURE REVIEW………………………………………………………………………3

III. METHODS……………………………………………………………………………..……13

IV. FINDINGS………………………………………………………………………………..….18

V. DISCUSSION & CONCLUSION……………………………………………………...….…29

VI. LIMITATIONS & FUTURE DIRECTIONS……………………………………………..…34

VII. REFERENCES……………………………………………………………………………...36

iii

LIST OF TABLES

TABLE 1. Participant Demographics…………………………………………………………....17

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank my thesis committee, consisting of Dr. Tiffany Taylor, Dr. Kathryn Feltey, and Dr. Christopher Dum, for their guidance and the generous feedback they offered to me during each stage of this research. Their support and feedback were instrumental for helping me to conduct my research project. Each member of this committee has encouraged and provided me with critiques that will influence the future directions I take with this project when considering publication. I would like to extend additional gratitude to my committee chair and advisor, Dr. Tiffany Taylor, for believing in this project from its conception and assisting me with her expertise in the discipline, her willingness to provide critical and constructive feedback, and her advice and encouragement throughout the thesis process. I would also like to thank Dr.

Brianna Turgeon for sharing her documents used during her thesis process including her proposal and the final thesis and Dr. Austin Johnson for sharing his IRB proposal. These documents were incredibly helpful for me to consider when I was drafting my own research project. I would also like to express my appreciation to Jackie Towne-Roese for putting her time and energy into the formatting of my thesis. My partner, family, friends, colleagues, and professors, you have all shown me an extraordinary amount of support throughout this process and I am grateful to each of you for it. Additionally, I would like to thank the Department of

Sociology at Kent State University for the opportunity to write and defend this thesis in a professional atmosphere. Finally, I would like to thank my participants for allowing me into your

v groups and lives, trusting me to represent your personal experiences in writing. This project would not have been possible without you

INTRODUCTION

Previous studies have shown that the BDSM community practices a culture of consent associated with lower rape-supportive beliefs (Klement, Sagarin, & Lee, 2017). The specific goal of this research is to investigate BDSM (an acronym for bondage/discipline, domination/submission, and sadomasochism) as a community to observe how consent is discussed, taught and enforced. This qualitative research uses feminist methodologies and grounded theory, to access information and personal accounts of BDSM identifying individuals and the interactive processes of consent. Second, because this is a stigmatized population, I will consider how consent could be persistent as a response to stigma. Further, I will explore how consent practices within BDSM challenge traditional gender norms and associated gender characteristics. I will analyze the implications that BDSM ideologies have for teaching consent and autonomy to combat rape culture with the desired result being a culture of consent (Stryker,

Queen, & Penny 2017). This study serves to inform the reality of practices within the BDSM community and illuminate the structural norms it challenges. It has the potential to uncover and highlight the benefits or risks of consent as practiced by this community. This research may have implications for how important consent is when considering not only sexual health and education but also an increased sociological understanding of the possibilities the BDSM community brings to resist rape culture by creating consent culture.

There has been significant academic interest in the BDSM subculture and community.

Sex-positive feminists, activists, and researchers have long debated the effects of BDSM on individual practitioners and society. Many find the practices of this community to be forward-

1 thinking and egalitarian, while others argue that the power dynamics involved perpetuate structural oppression (Seidman 2003; Simula & Sumerau 2017). However, studying BDSM individuals is important because it is a marginalized community that ironically faces the stigma of abuse despite its strict consent practices and educational tools. Stereotypes perpetuated in popular media, such as seen in 50 Shades of Grey films, add to the stigma of abuse and sexual depravity attached to this community (Tripodi 2017). The medical community exacerbated the stigma that surrounds BDSM by how has framed fetishism and masochism in their literature. The medical community defined fetishism in the Diagnostic and Statistical

Manual of Mental Disorders III (DSM III) to include practices found in BDSM. Members of this community rejected this classification of their identities and struggled against the stigma placed on them by the medical community for decades. The medical literature did not remove

‘fetishism’ as a mental disorder until the recent updates in the DSM V (DSM V). However, the

DSM V still classifies masochism as a sexual disorder, which includes many practices found within BDSM (DSM V).

The medical literature continues to pathologize BDSM, framing it as deviant and morally corrupt, resulting in stigma against those who practice it. (Carmody 2003; Williams 2007; Stiles

& Clark, 2011; Bezreh, Weinberg, & Edgar 2012; Pitagora, 2013). Considering the lived experiences of individuals taking part in these activities is important to understanding BDSM ideologies surrounding consent and bodily autonomy. Few studies have focused on consent ideologies held by BDSM individuals and the larger implications they could have for constructing consent culture in society. To fill this gap in the literature, I use qualitative methods to explore BDSM ideologies, how they resist rape culture and stigma to complicate normative ideas about consent and gender to create a space where consent culture may thrive.

LITERATURE REVIEW

Rape Culture

In the last few decades, it has become clear that the United States has a problem with sexual assault. The media have even claimed there is an epidemic of sexual assault occurring.

Every 98 seconds someone is a victim of sexual assault in the United States; almost 325,000 people a year report having been assaulted (RAINN 2018). This social problem has invaded college campuses, where sexual assault is three times more likely for young women ages 18-35 compared to women outside this age group, and beyond (RAINN 2018). This epidemic is not occurring at random. The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (2018) reports that seven out of ten sexual assaults are an acquaintance or date rape, or an assault committed by someone the victim knows. One explanation of this growing epidemic is the perpetuation of “rape culture” in the United States. A “rape culture” contains values and beliefs that result in rape and violent sexual dominance becoming normalized within society (Buchwald, Fletcher, and Roth 1993;

Pascoe & Hollander 2016). The consequences of rape culture are a society where sexual violence and assault, and the threat of both, are so integrated into the social fabric they are normative rather than unusual or deviant occurrences within emotional and physical relationships (Pascoe

2007, Pascoe & Hollander 2016). Previous research has focused on rape culture supported by the hook-up culture within college student populations. These studies find that rape culture, rape myth acceptance, and hookup culture perpetuate traditional gender norms and reproduce normative gender power relations (Boswell & Spade 1996; Reling el al. 2018). Rape is a

3 common occurrence on and off college campuses yet remains a criminalized activity with most perpetrators being white males over the age of thirty (RAINN 2018.

Within a rape culture, sexual assault is not conflated with sexual deviants and criminals but instead is committed by “normal men” (Pascoe & Hollander 2016). This means the longstanding stereotype of ‘stranger danger’ has become antiquated to the realities of rape today

(Gavey 2013). Even within a rape culture, rape itself has become increasingly stigmatized, causing men to need to distance themselves from the concept of being a rapist because “real men” do not commit rape (Pascoe and Hollander 2016). However, to “do gender” men still must fulfill the expectations of normative masculinity. Society expects men to be accountable for both not being a rapist while being dominant and masculine (West and Zimmerman 1987; Hollander

2013). Two main components of a rape culture are rape myth acceptance and victim blaming. Common rape myths are ideas such as that a person is “asking for it” based on their level of intoxication, being alone with people of opposite sex while intoxicated, how someone dresses, or the inability to control one’s sex drive, particularly among men (Klement, Sagarin, &

Lee 2017). Victim blaming happens when the person who experiences an assault is blamed for it occurring, sometimes overlapping with rape acceptance myths like level of intoxication and being alone with a member of the opposite sex on a date (Klement, Sagarin, & Lee 2017). These components allow rape culture to manifest because they shield assaulters from blame and responsibility for their actions. With rape culture being normative within society, when rape is a prevalent social problem and yet is still highly stigmatized, what can we do to change it? Since rape and rape culture are normative, this research explored subcultures and deviant sexualities outside the mainstream to see if rape culture is also persistent there.

Deviant Sexualities

BDSM is an acronym that stands for bondage and discipline (B&D), Dominance and submission (D/s) and sadism and masochism (SM or S&M). BDSM is the “use of psychological dominance and submission, and/or physical bondage, and/or pain, and/or related practices in a safe, legal, consensual manner in order for the participants to experience erotic arousal and/or personal growth” (Wiseman 1996). Participants often identify themselves by the role they take in power dynamics or play. Dominants or doms are individuals who prefer to exercise control or be in control of distributing and overseeing sensations or punishments (Wiseman 1996; Pitagora

2013). However, they might also identify as sadists, tops, and/or sir/ma’am or mistress/master

(Wiseman 1996; Pitagora 2013). Submissives or subs are those who prefer to relinquish power and experience subjugation by doms (Wiseman 1996; Pitagora 2013). They might also go by masochist, bottom, slave and/or girl/boy (Wiseman 1996; Pitagora 2013). A switch is an individual who experiences fluidity between these roles and might also identify as versatile

(Wiseman 1996; Pitagora 2013). These are the most commonly found within the community, but, because BDSM is diverse there can be many variations to these self-identified titles.

‘Scenes’ or ‘play’ refers to activities within the BDSM community. Scholars suggest that because BDSM constructs activities as ‘play’, they should be reclassified as leisure activities

(Langdridge & Barker 2007; Williams & Prior 2015). BDSM refers to these activities as ‘play’ because it is a space where responsible adults can escape the reality prescribed by societal norms to explore themselves (Baldwin 2003; Carmody 2003; Williams & Prior 2015).

These spaces also provide safety and consent for taking part in fantasies removed from the dominant culture. This allows individuals to feel free and open in expressing themselves

(Wiseman 1996; Carmody 2003; Williams 2007; Williams & Prior 2015). Scenes can involve

role-playing and power differentials between play partners (Simula & Sumerau 2017; Williams

2007). Practitioners discuss scenes at length often negotiating and renegotiating the terms with all parties involved (Baldwin 2003; Carmody 2003; Langdridge & Barker 2007). Participants enter a scene with explicit knowledge and education about what will happen in the experience, have given mutual consent, and have the agency to end the arrangement at will (Langdridge &

Barker 2007; Simula & Sumerau 2017). Scholars often construct BDSM activities as those involving a power exchange that can, but not always, be sexual (Williams & Prior 2015; Simula

& Sumerau 2017). However, these activities or forms of 'play' are mutual terms of interaction which are always consensual (Carmody 2003; Simula & Sumerau 2017). To better understand the ideologies of this community, we must investigate definitions and varieties of consent.

What is consent anyways?

While consent transcends the BDSM community, there seem to be conflicting views on what warrants consent. Defined, consent is the act of granting permission for any contact to happen or the agreement to engage in any activities with another person (Langdridge & Barker

2007; Beres & MacDonald, 2015). However, there are various kinds of consent. Implicit consent is the most prevalent in normative physical encounters. Implicit consent is ‘implied’ or assumed unless withdrawn. Often, sexual education programs will teach implicit consent as ‘no means no’ and this is true to a degree (Barker 2016). While saying no or withdrawing consent should end any contact, the absence of ‘no’ does not translate to consent. The only way to ensure that physical or sexual contact is not abusive is to ask for consent before each new point of contact desired (Barker 2016). Also, it is important to know that granting previous consent does not imply future or reoccurring consent (Carmody 2003; Barker 2016). An individual cannot give

consent if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Implying consent under these conditions is coercive and predatory (Carmody 2003).

The prevalence of implicit consent creates a grey area in matters of consensual sex where both parties may not clearly express their intentions and desires. Acquaintance and date rape are both most likely to occur with implicit consent. This happens when an individual does not or cannot say ‘no’ due to intoxication or lack of agency required to deny consent due to differences in social power. Feminists and sex-critical scholars point to enthusiastic consent as a measure of bodily autonomy which is symbiotic and promotes healthy physical contact

(Carmody 2003; Barker 2016). Rather than implicit ‘no means no’ consent, enthusiastic consent employs the mantra ‘yes means yes’ to signal consent that is communicated and understood between partners (Lafrance, Loe, & Brown, 2012; Barker 2016).

While sexual assault continues to be a pressing social problem, the literature is lacking in studies that discuss the vital topic of consent and how to shift societal norms to include it as a regular practice in physical encounters. This is the case with articles pertaining to the intersection of consent and sexual assault (Barker 2016; Klement, Sargin & Lee 2017). Often, research only considers its relationship to the BDSM community and when disassociating kinky sex, or non- normative sex, from normative sex (Barker 2016). Recent studies have shown that BDSM participants have lower rape-supportive beliefs which could have implications for lower occurrences of rape within this community (Klement, Sargin & Lee 2017). Due to this research, it is important to consider why enthusiastic consent is normative in the BDSM community but not in a society that favors the implicit consent associated with rape culture (Bauer 2008). This implicates that there is something about the BDSM community that fosters not only lower rape beliefs but also encourages the practice of enthusiastic consent itself.

BDSM and Enthusiastic Consent

Research suggests that consent is a cornerstone to both BDSM practices and members of the community (Wiseman 1996, Baldwin 2003; Carmody 2003; Williams 2007; Langdridge &

Barker 2007; Bauer 2008; Newmahr 2011; Weiss 2011; Bezreh, Weinberg, & Edgar 2012;

Pitagora 2013; Klement, Sagarin, & Lee 2017). BDSM employs several concepts to navigate participation in play, scenes, and accepted behavior within the community. The BDSM community approaches matters of consent from an enthusiastic consent perspective where no situation is implicit. For ‘play’ or a scene to occur, it must first be Safe, Sane, and Consensual

(SSC) (Langdridge & Barker 2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen 2014). This is the founding principal of this community. SSC means that all parties involved must practice safety by caring for themselves and each other, including but not limited to ‘safe-sex’ practices, for example, condoms, barriers, etc. Participants must be sane, or of sound mind and not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Also, all activities must be consensual and free of coercion

(Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen 2014).

Another tool of the BDSM community is Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

(Langdridge & Barker 2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014). This method requires proper education before engaging in consensual activities. This prevents coercion and guarantees all parties agency in their participation. The last technique is Caring, Communication,

Consent, and Caution (4Cs) (Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen 2014). This requires individuals to communicate about scenes, provide care to each other before, after, and during play and take caution when in a scene. Also, this technique helps to maintain an individual’s agency in all practices and consent negotiation, which allows individuals to explore without

causing harm to each other (Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen 2014). In each of these frameworks, consent and safety are of paramount concern.

With these types of precautions being taken to ensure the safety and enjoyment of BDSM participants, it is surprising that the fear of violence and stigma of abuse often surround practitioners (Langdridge & Barker 2007; Stiles & Clark 2011; Tripodi 2017). It is paradoxical considering the abundant consent education tools this community uses i.e. SSC, RACK, and the

4 C’s. This research seeks to illuminate how enthusiastic consent is defined, taught and enforced within BDSM to gain a better understanding of how these elements contribute to a culture of consent rather than abuse. Discussing the stigma and paradox of abuse is imperative to understand the barriers it creates between a community that applies consent frequently and normative practices that are still ripe with the accepted ideals of implicit consent.

50 Shades of Stigma and Deviance

Previous research suggests that the stigma associated with the BDSM community is often a result of stereotypes and misinformation through media (Tripodi 2017). This occurs due to the predisposition of society to pathologize any behavior deviating from social norms, sexual or otherwise (Langdridge & Barker 2007; Stiles & Clark 2011). BDSM was pathologized as fetishism in the DSM III and IV as a mental illness, often used against individuals in legal proceedings (American Psychiatric Association 2000). After years of advocating against this classification, the American Psychiatric Association (2013) changed the diagnostic codes for fetishism to move away from the pathology model in the DSM V. Consenting adults were no longer deemed mentally ill or punished for participating in behavior outside the mainstream.

Instead, the DSM V classifies fetishistic disorder, a mental illness that evolves from fetishism, as that which manifests in harm inflicted on the individual or others through mental distress,

physical injury, and/or activities that violate personal boundaries and consent (DSM V). A fetishistic disorder is typically treated with cognitive-behavioral therapy including aversion therapy and orgasm reconditioning, which trains the individual to react differently when exposed to things associated with a fetish (DSM V). Also, the DSM V still pathologizes masochism as a sexual disorder for which the suggested treatment is medications, injections to reduce libido and intensive therapy (DSM V). Medical professionals continue to frame BDSM as dangerous and deviant, informing the public that if it is being practiced, then an individual is suffering from a form of mental illness.

As previously discussed, BDSM practices deviate from normative behaviors and are considered bad, morally wrong, or more extremely, abusive (Carmody 2003; Wright 2006;

Langdridge & Barker 2007; Simula 2017). Some literature suggests that the representation of

BDSM in the media, such as seen in 50 Shades of Grey or The Secretary, frame BDSM practitioners as abusive when there is no empirical support for this claim (Klement, Sargin & Lee

2017). Depictions of BDSM in the media are often problematic, conflating BDSM with abuse, crime, and/or violence. Movies like 50 Shades of Grey depict coercive and abusive relationships that show BDSM as being the absolute domination of rich, white men over submissive women

(Weiss 2006; Tripodi 2017). The BDSM community is critical of this representation, rejecting the abuse within the depicted relationship and the lack of consent and autonomy present in the film (Weiss 2006; Tripodi 2017). Abuse is framed as behavior that is ‘unpredictable’ and ‘out- of-control’ (Wright 2006). While BDSM practitioners solicit and inflict pain, it is the presence of consent that prevents the interactions from becoming abusive. People who are abusive are present in all communities, however all individuals in the BDSM community are not inherently abusive (Wright 2006).

This abuse stigma is ironic to associate with BDSM because, while practices can involve willfully causing or receiving pain, this community embraces values that research has found to be healthier and more sex-positive than the norm (Langdridge & Barker 2007; Stiles & Clark,

2011). Due to this abuse stigma, many BDSM practitioners feel misunderstood and find it necessary to protect themselves from the criticism of the larger society by concealing their identity (Wright 2006; Stiles & Clark, 2011). This secrecy and removal from society are detrimental both to individuals who feel their identity is something to hide and to a society that might benefit from the ideologies of enthusiastic consent that BDSM champions (Stiles & Clark,

2011). If abuse stigma were challenged, the ideology of enthusiastic consent and tools found within BDSM may reduce or prevent sexual assault and misconduct (Klement, Sargin & Lee

2017). Also, because counter-normative consent practices and gendered power dynamics are present in BDSM, it is important to consider how the experience of gender norms and characteristics complicate creating consent culture.

BDSM and the Gender-Power Paradox

Feminist researchers have found BDSM be a point of contention between radical feminists and sex-positive feminists. On one side of the argument, radical feminists view BDSM as a practice which reinforces and reproduces structural inequalities that harm women and prevent equality (Seidman 2003; Wright 2006; Simula & Sumerau 2017). However, sex-positive feminists and theorists believe BDSM serves to create the possibility for subverting these inequalities to shake the institutions that perpetuate them (Foucault 1990; Simula & Sumerau

2017). Sex positive feminists suggest the BDSM community creates social spaces that disrupt gender norms by loosening enforcement and allowing fluidity (Newmahr, 2011). Research has explored how BDSM practices “may reveal nuances and complexities related to doing and

undoing gender,” (Simula & Sumerau, 2017; West & Zimmerman 1987). Some research found both are true, BDSM communities support both deconstructing gender and reproducing it through their practices (Simula & Sumerau 2017). Others argue that dominance and submission are not gendered experiences (Seidman 2003). Unlike cultural gender norms, the roles in BDSM are negotiable from one scene to another (Seidman 2003; Langdridge & Barker 2007). Rather than dis-empowering feminist ideals, BDSM offers a critique of how gender norms are socially constructed through its manipulation of these norms (Seidman 2003). Also, research has pointed to deviant communities like BDSM being connected to a willingness to deviate from gender norms through rebellion and experimentation (Simula & Sumerau 2017). While research has explored the gendered differences that occur within the BDSM community and its practices, there is a gap in exploring how gender equity impacts consent practices. The present research intends to explore the relationship between consent practices and gender within BDSM to see if they follow the same patterns or if new, emerging themes are present.

12 RESEARCH METHODS

To understand how social roles within the BDSM community create rules and guidelines for all practices, including consent, researchers must consider the lived experiences of BDSM identifying individuals. Using qualitative interviews is ideal to study BDSM identities to best capture the realities of the practices of consent within the community. I conducted this research using grounded theory and the feminist standpoint perspective to allow patterns to emerge within the diverse responses of the sample. Grounded theory (Glaser & Strauss 1967) allows researchers to extrapolate the theory from the data collected while conducting research and during the analysis process. I will use the social constructionist approach to grounded theory which will allow the evocation of Charmaz’s (2008) assumptions that reality is multiple in perspective and socially constructed. It allows the research process to emerge from interaction with participants yet also takes the positionality of the researcher into account in the analysis (Charmaz 2008). The social constructionist approach extracts data from a “co-construction” process, where the researcher and the participant are actively engaging in the research process and are not abstract objects within it (Charmaz 2008). This approach allowed me to consider not only my positionality and interaction in the research process but also the influence of my own perspectives and privileges (Charmaz 2008).

I find this approach fits well with feminist methodologies in the standpoint epistemology that reveal structural androcentric biases and power relations between the researcher and the researched (Sprague 2016). These factors are important when considering the abuse stigma associated with the BDSM community alongside what influence the researcher has within the

13 process (Sprague 2016). The standpoint perspective also considers the positionality of the researcher while exploring complex power dynamics that impact this marginalized community and the ideologies they practice (Sprague 2016). Through this approach, I seek to understand the lived experiences of BDSM women and men and how structural factors impact their experience and ideologies through qualitative in-depth interviews that highlight this community’s experiences of consent. With these methods in mind, I grant individual’s agency in the research process while considering the impact of social location, positionality, power and privilege that occur by allowing participants to ask me questions, either from the interview guide or otherwise, that they would like to know (Charmaz 2008; Sprague 2016). By doing this, I hope to reinforce that participants are not resources I am extracting information from, but instead create a dialog with to explore the topic together and investigate larger structural issues.

Sample and Data

After gaining IRB approval from Kent State University, I recruited participants from

BDSM groups in a medium-sized city in Central Virginia where I attended events held by the groups at a local bar. Aside from in-person recruitment, I also recruited through Fetlife, which is the largest public BDSM social media- networking website, using group events and forum postings. I then conducted qualitative face-to-face interviews and follow up self-administered demographic surveys over the course of a six-month time frame. I took part in 18 total interviews, with 8 identifying as ‘male’, 9 identifying as ‘female’, and one identifying as ‘Non-

Binary’; all were over the age of 18. I used networking within BDSM groups in the Central

Virginia area to connect with individuals willing to take part in a formal interview about their lived experiences. Once participants were recruited, snowball sampling helped to identify other individuals in the community that might be interested in participation in the study. I recorded

each interview and asked for verbal consent with unsigned consent forms to ensure participants confidentiality in this study. Participants were asked to choose their own pseudonyms for research purposes and all identifying information was removed from the data. I transcribed the data and coded it inductively, using grounded theory to allow patterns to develop. This occurred through considering words, phrases, and descriptions of experiences that were often repeated by multiple participants within their interviews. Once patterns surfaced, I used open coding, then recoded to confirm patterns and made connections through extensive memoing.

Data collection contained two parts, a face-to-face in-depth interview and a follow up self-administered demographic survey. Both the face-to-face interview and the self-administered survey occurred during the same time frame with the interview being conducted first followed by the survey. The interview covered three topic areas: sexual history, BDSM and consent, and wrap up questions. The interviews were semi-structured, and an interview guide helped to maintain participant focus on research questions. Interviews were audio recorded with the consent of each participant. The demographic survey focused on two topic areas, background history and family history, and I gave participants the option of completing it at the end of the interview. These questions help situate individuals within their social location to provide context to their interview responses. The survey included 15 questions and took no longer 30 minutes to complete. All interviews took place in a private study room at a local university library. Each meeting lasted between 60 and 90 minutes for both the interview and follow-up survey questions.

As Table 1 shows, participants were between the ages of 19 and 51 with a mean age of

32. The sample was slightly older with 9 participants in the 19 to 29 range and 10 in the 30-51 range. Most (16) identified as white, with one describing themselves as Native American and the

other as Mixed/African-American. The sample was fairly educated with all but one individual having had some college or trade school training, one held an associate degree, four held bachelor’s degrees, and two held master’s degrees. Most (14) identified as being ‘Polyamorous’, an ethically non-monogamous relationship style where individuals have multiple simultaneous relationships and every partner involved is informed of these relationships (Klesse 2006), with five stating they were ‘Married’ and ‘Polyamorous’. Many claimed to be ‘Partnered’ with three identifying as ‘Separated’, ‘Divorced’, or Single’. Interviewees were diverse in their religious affiliations, with seven identified as Pagan/Wiccan, three as Christian/Catholic, three as Non-

Religious and five as Other affiliations (Atheist, Agnostic, Spiritual Hindu, Spiritual, Unsure).

All participants identified as being lower-middle or middle class.

TABLE 1: Participant Demographics Relationship Pseudonym Age BDSM Identity Gender Education Employment Religion Status Abel 42 Dominant/ Daddy Male Married/ Poly Graduate School Small Business Owner Non-Religious Alanon 40 Dominant/ Top Male Married/ Poly Some college Uber Driver Pagan Bear 31 Dominant/ Top Male Single Bachelor’s Technical Writer Non-Religious

Carole 51 Submissive/ Bottom Female Separated Bachelor’s Banking Christian

Delores 19 Dominant/ Switch Female Engaged/ Poly Some college Unemployed Pagan

Esmerelda 28 Switch Femme Married/ Poly Some college University Administrative Asst. Pagan Partnered/ Gus 21 Slave Female Some college Student Pagan Poly James 42 Switch Male Divorced Associate’s Paramedic Catholic Partnered/ Jay 38 Dominant Male Bachelor’s Demographic Spiritual Poly Jessica 28 Dominant/ Top Female Engaged/ Poly Trade School Sales Manager Wiccan Kyle 46 Dominant/ Top Male Married/ Poly Bachelor’s Traveling Health Screener Catholic Luna 30 Submissive Female Married Some college Convenience Store Clerk Pagan

Mack 27 Switch Male Partnered/Poly Bachelor’s Chemical Technician I Non-Religious

Partnered/ Michelle 28 Submissive Female Trade School Self-Employed Poly Agnostic Moira 30 Submissive Non-Binary Single/ Poly Master’s Teacher Spiritual Hindu Partnered/ Osiris 21 Switch Male High School Flooring Technician Christain Poly Sage 30 Dominant Female Partnered/Poly Bachelor's Admin Work, Clinic Worker Atheist Partnered/ Trixie 21 Submissive Female Some college Retail- Comic Shop Poly Unsure Table 1 summarizes pertinent demographic information for the participants in each category and is organized alphabetically by self-selected pseudonym.

FINDINGS

The ideology of consent that is reproduced by and permeates the BDSM community provides a powerful example of how consent can operate within a culture to combat institutionally reinforced ideals of rape culture. Consent is often misunderstood and misinterpreted in the dominant culture where it is not regularly practiced, due to the ideological mismatch between rape culture and consensual practices (Gavey 2013; Pascoe & Hollander

2016). As a result, there is often confusion surrounding what constitutes consent, which consequentially reproduces sexual scripts that equate a lack of consent, or implicit consent, with rape myths such as victim blaming associated with rape culture (Buchwald, Fletcher, and Roth

1993; Pascoe & Hollander 2016; Klement, Sagarin, & Lee 2017). It is vital to disentangle the meaning of consent and how consent operates in practice to gain a richer understanding of the benefits of participation in consent culture. To do this, I examine how individuals within the

BDSM community define, participate in, and enforce consent practices.

Perceptions of Consent

To explore definitions of consent among BDSM individuals, I asked each participant how they personally define consent. Though the answer varied from person to person, everyone offered a definition synonymous with those of enthusiastic consent found in the literature

(Carmody 2003; Barker 2016). Abel, a dominant identifying male, shared that to him consent means that individuals should never,

Do anything, to anybody that they didn’t agree to enthusiastically. A maybe is not a yes. A coerced yes is not a yes. Without the word yes coming out of our mouth and the

18 question being asked of what is going to happen then we don’t have safety or real freedom. People talk about freedom. Real freedom is having the opportunity to say, yes or no and the other person abide that. Other participants echoed this definition, Michelle, a submissive identified woman exclaimed,

“If they are not into it, you shouldn’t be!” Gus, a female-identified slave, expressed,

My personal definition is enthusiastic in the sense that not only do they want to do a thing with me, they really want to do the thing with me. They will have no regrets about it later because we have talked so thoroughly about what we are doing to do that there is no room for doubt.

This pattern was consistent throughout my sample, which shows BDSM identifying individuals in this group accept and value enthusiastic consent ideologies (Carmody 2003; Langdridge &

Barker 2007; Beres & MacDonald 2015; Barker 2016). Thirteen others described BDSM as their first point of contact with discussions of consent and described its importance.

Esmerelda, a female identified switch revealed she did not know of consent before her introduction into the BDSM community. “It is just a huge aspect of how we relate to each other, and how we navigate our relationships, and our sex lives. Those are huge aspects of our lives,” she explained. When asked how consent in the BDSM community made her feel, she laughed and exclaimed “Excited and positive! Excited that there was a community that took consent seriously.” She explained to me that she had no context for consent outside the of the BDSM community due to her religious upbringing. Her religious family did not educate her about sex or discuss consent with her. “There was no talk of sex. There was no talk of consent. So, again a very sharp contrast to when I got into college and immediately started exploring all these BDSM groups.” She, like 75% of those interviewed, had minimal sexual education and no concept of consent before exposure within BDSM. Those who learned about consent received the “no means no” model synonymous with implicit consent at home from their parents. These findings

indicate that the education provided through their families echoed that of the dominate culture, perpetuating implicit consent which tends to support the rape myths found within rape culture

(Carmody 2003; Langdridge & Barker 2007; Barker 2016; Klement, Sargin & Lee 2017). It was their connections and interactions within the BDSM community that exposed them to enthusiastic consent as practiced within the community that is associated with lower rape- supportive beliefs and a culture of consent (Klement, Sargin & Lee 2017).

All participants expressed to me how the emphasis on consent education and enforcement with the BDSM community made them feel safe, happy, and respected. Most participants conveyed that they would never play with anyone if they or the other person were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This is out a sense of responsibility among practitioners. Kyle explained “If you’re being a top you should be very close to sober because you have to be responsible not for yourself but for the other person.” Jessica agreed saying that she does not take a dominant role if she is intoxicated because she doesn’t want to accidentally cause harm.

She also shared she feels that an intoxicated person cannot give consent and “if there’re on something they’re not going to feel it like they usually would. So, I might cause harm because they can’t feel everything.” This is another example of how participants reject ideals of implicit consent, which does not consider the impact intoxication or lack of agency may have on whether an individual provides consent (Carmody 2003; Langdridge & Barker 2007; Barker 2016).

Instead, individuals adhere to ideologies of enthusiastic consent, where participants are concerned with the safety of and respect for those they are having interactions with as outlined by the educational tools BDSM employs found in the literature i.e. SSC, RACK, and the 4 C’s

(Langdridge & Barker 2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen 2014).

Consent versus Abuse Stigma

Ironically, the abuse stigma remains associated with BDSM, even with participants collectively adhering to definitions, practices, and education of enthusiastic consent through the

BDSM community. However, it is possible the abuse stigma itself helped to shape the culture of consent within the BDSM community. The stereotype of BDSM being violent or abusive may have sparked a response of hypervigilant consent among BDSM participants, who sought to distance themselves from stigma (Pitagora 2013). More than half of the sample indicated that enthusiastic consent was vital to the BDSM community because otherwise play could be framed as rape. Mack firmly stated, “if there was no consent, it would be rape, it would be very bad. If people could just walk in and do whatever they wanted to anybody at all but no discussion, the classification would be rape.” Many others echoed the same sentiment when asked what consent meant to the BDSM community, including Luna, a female identified submissive. She emphasized that,

Consent is huge in the BDSM community because it’s a community that’s looked down on because people think that it’s perpetuating rape culture basically. I think that consent in BDSM scene is 100% and absolutely positively necessary, it’s a huge, huge part of it. Without consent in BDSM scene, everything is iffy. Like you don’t know if your submissive is happy, you don’t know if you’re going too far and without enthusiastic consent in BDSM scene who is to say it’s not rape.

These findings seem to suggest that BDSM participants deviate from the dominant cultures’ norms of what constitutes rape. In this community, it is the absence of coherent enthusiastic consent that shifts physical encounters from acceptable to problematic. This is a sharp contrast to the practices found in implicit consent, where consent is assumed unless revoked, that characterize rape culture (Carmody 2003; Buchwald, Fletcher, & Roth 2005). This could suggest that enthusiastic consent is strictly enforced as means of combatting rape culture within the

BDSM community.

Another submissive identified woman by the name of Moira shared, “I think consent is a big deal for people in BDSM if it's not brought up then that is a red flag for me.” Consent is so integral to the practice of BDSM that its absence is a warning to people within the scene. Anyone not practicing consent explicitly is potentially dangerous or untrustworthy. Again, this directly contrasts concepts found in a rape culture, where enthusiastic consent is not a requirement. The distancing that BDSM participants employ could be a tool used to avoid abuse stigma and being associated with rape culture. The act of rape is seen as morally deviant despite its prevalence in society (Buchwald, Fletcher, & Roth 2005; Pascoe & Hollander 2016). The hyper vigilance of consent could also be a mechanism through which individuals seek to legitimize their identities and avoid being further associated with deviance and stigma.

Individuals go to great lengths to educate and enforce consent to rebuff abuse stigma and to legitimize practices as the ‘exchange’ of power as play and enjoyment (Langdridge & Barker

2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014). Education occurs through both formal and informal means. Participants described consent classes and tools they experienced when entering the BDSM community. Esmerelda shared the BDSM community holds regular Consent 101 training “because there are always newbies coming in and we want to educate our newbies especially because they are most vulnerable to mistakes and that can cause pain, physical or emotional.” Some others described the consent tools they had learned either in class, through observation and participation, or through word of mouth during their exposure to BDSM. Out of

18 individuals, 16 of them expressed that they use Traffic Light Consent. Mack explained how it works in practice,

The best [system] is just green, yellow, red. It’s just the traditional stop light, where yellow means give me a breather, wait a second that hurt, and I need to rest and then red is the scene stops. The importance is it gives the person who is on the receiving end all of

the power over the scene, the play, the sex. It gives them the power to just stop everything, and it’s done.

This is an easy system to comprehend and most respondents discussed it the same way. Moira explained the Traffic Light Consent method can apply non-verbally for those using gags or music for sensory deprivation or unable to speak. She showed me that on her arm how some individuals use physical sign language to convey consent or to revoke it. “Tap once for green, tap two [times] yellow, tap [three times] you completely stop.” Others explained they use a method of dropping something held in the submissive's hand to communicate yellow or red. Every individual stressed that the most important aspect of consent was to negotiate thoroughly and check in often.

About half of the sample revealed they also use the Number Scale consent method combined with Traffic Light consent. The Number Scale allows both people to negotiate pain and pleasure. The dominant will ask the submissive what number range they would like to stay within before they will play. They will strike or touch their partner in an agreed-upon way before checking in to see what number they rate the pain or pleasure. This continues until they reach the ideal range and maintain it for the negotiated time. Jay, a male identified dominant, explained,

So, I use a 10 scale because it gives us a lot of numbers to pick from, people usually pick it the same 4, but by giving them that large range it gives the ability to better gauge and think hard about how they are feeling. It gives me the information that I need to ensure that I can craft a scene for my submissive in a way that is most pleasurable.

The two individuals who did not use Traffic Light consent or the Number Scale explained they use open communication and safe words for their play. They admitted they did not attend group events or workshops. This could establish that active participation in the BDSM community makes people better equipped to learn and use consent tools. These findings indicate that those who participated in BDSM groups were more likely to receive some level of education about

consent and how to properly look for and negotiate it. Those individuals who practiced privately and were not active within BDSM groups still practiced enthusiastic consent, but their methods differed from the rest of the sample. Considering the ample methods that ensure dissemination of consent knowledge in this community, the perpetuation of the abuse stigma surrounding BDSM is unfounded. It may be due to public ignorance of BDSM participants commitment to and education of consent. This could occur because the dominant culture is applying the norms found within rape culture to the activities of BDSM, which results in the perception of abuse.

Clear definitions and education about consent are unique qualities within the BDSM community. Another important factor is how standards of consent are managed and enforced. In this population, enforcement also happens through formal and informal levels of social control.

Formal methods of enforcing consent include formal rules, insider policing, and a “zero- tolerance policy” toward consent violations. Formal rules are posted at events and are verbally given to all attending private events. Abel listed some of the event rules “don’t assume someone you have never met is there for your pleasure, don’t assume that BDSM is sexual, like, there is just a list of things. Risk aware of consensual kink, that’s a protocol.” If a person gains the reputation of violating consent, Kyle, a male identified dominant, revealed,

If you get the reputation of being a person who plays too rough or doesn’t believe in RACK or SSC, you don’t play long. Being that it’s a community, we look after our own. You look out for each other. If somebody is a serial abuser or is not good for the community the community pushes them out.

He shared that not only would the person be outcast from the individual’s group, but also groups share information about consent violators with each other through Fetlife to ensure that members of the community are safe. He explained that public and private events also have Dungeon

Monitors or DMs that are special trained to police BDSM spaces. These DMs are volunteers and

they are responsible for enforcing SSC and RACK, ensuring everyone is playing safely and consensually. DMs are a common feature at BDSM group events, Jay described that when,

You go to a party or a play event hosted by one of the BDSM groups. You will have DMs, which are dungeon monitors, these individuals are tasked with going around and making sure that everyone is playing according to the rules set forth. Groups have rules on how their members are allowed to play when they are in a group event. We want to make sure that everyone has a good time.

Gus emphasized the importance of DMs saying, “I think that is the biggest way that the scene helps enforce consent is enforcing it so heavily with the DMs and the leaders of groups.” She told me that by enforcing consent strictly in more public spaces, the goal is to influence members of the community to practice the same in private.

There are levels to consent violations, some are considered minor such as accidents or miscommunications while others are major violations that are intentional or have malicious intent. The community has different ways of handling consent violations. Jessica, a female identified dominant and previous group leader shared,

If it’s just like minor consent violation, then it’s more a 6 month ban or something like that. If it’s something more severe that you’re found guilty of then you’re blacklisted. You’re done. You might as well move and then hopefully no one has gone to other parties or knows you.

Even if a person finds a way around formal enforcement, the community also uses informal techniques including social isolation. Fourteen respondents reported that a person’s reputation is essential in the BDSM community. People will vet their play partners through word of mouth among people who have experience playing with a certain individual. Even if someone avoids formal sanctions, these informal peer networks often serve as an extra safety net to inform about and prevent consent violation. Group forums have posts regarding consent violators that members of the community use to protect others from potential harm.

These results support what is found in the literature, that BDSM participants are educated formally and informally about tools like SSC and RACK, to limit exposure to harm (Langdridge

& Barker 2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen, 2014). These tools could also be a mechanism through which participants distance themselves from the abuse stigma. By having strict rules in place, they can avoid being called abusers by framing play as the product of a collective agreement to abide by these protocols. Formal and informal sanctions are in place that allows participants to distance themselves from those who violate consent and serve as a source of othering to show that they are not like abusers. By doing this they not only manage abuse stigma, but they also combat rape culture by holding abusers responsible for their actions

(Pascoe and Hollander 2016). Sanctions serve to create safety in three ways, safety from potential harm, safety from abusers, and safety from the threat of abuse stigma.

Gender versus Power Paradox

Power exchange is a normal part of BDSM play and interactions. Playing with who has power, when, and under what conditions in a consent heavy environment has interesting implications for how gender is done and undone (Simula & Sumerau, 2017; West & Zimmerman

1987). Dominant culture tends to associate power and influence with masculinity. Outside of

BDSM, domination is viewed as a traditionally masculine characteristic while submission is seen as inherently feminine. Contrary to dominant society that subscribes to rape culture, femme bodies are regarded as powerful, regardless of the dominate or submissive roles they choose. The

BDSM community is a space where feminine ideals like submission are conflated with power reinforced through the autonomy of consent. Individuals consider submissives powerful because they can negotiate play and give or relinquish consent. Able explained that being submissive

misleads people to thinks that subs are without power and being dominant means having all the power and control in an interaction,

The funny thing about being a Dom, the misconception I think that many people who are not in BDSM have is that the Dom wields all of the power in the power exchange. When that couldn’t be further from the truth, because everything revolves around the subs permission. The submissive person essentially sets all the boundaries. The dominant doesn’t set any boundaries until the sub gives him or her permission to do so.

This subculture creates a culture of consent through ‘playing’ with traditional gender norms, often trying on different roles so that they might understand and empathize with others

(Seidman 2003; Langdridge & Barker 2007). Many participants expressed that they learned to dominate through submission, by having acts performed on them. Some submissives expressed that they had started out at dominants but then decided they preferred submission. The role of dominant and submissive are not fixed and often exist on a continuum where an individual can be either or both depending on their desire or the interaction at hand. Because participants understand ‘playing’ with power exchange, they have crafted a more egalitarian space where weakness and strength are not gendered concepts. Esmerelda explained this fluidity saying “just because I’m bottoming, doesn’t mean I’m necessarily I’m subbing. Just like because I’m topping doesn’t mean I’m engaging in domination. It is intersectional.” This indicates that the services provided in various roles is not dependent on the body present and bottoms and tops are not always taking part in a D/s scene.

Many dominants view themselves as facilitators of the pleasure and satisfaction of their submissives. I asked Mack, a switch, what being dominant meant to him and he replied “Love.

Shit, it just makes me happy. Their happiness makes me happy.” Alanon, a male identified dominant shared that he considers himself a pleasure top and explained “I am usually open and willing to be into other things that people are into because it makes them happy. Seeing them

happy makes me happy.” Pleasure tops and daddy doms embody their dominance through acts of service that cater to the needs of their submissive. These acts of service transcend sexual attraction to include providing to the needs of others simply because they are members of the community. Bear shared that he often plays with people within his own gender and outside of his sexual preferences,

I do it because it’s needed in our community. There’s a lot of the typical male dominant/ female submissive stereotypes, but it’s very hard for people to find play partners if you’re the black male submissive or trans submissive. I feel like they shouldn’t not have play just because I’m straight man.

This indicates that taking the role of dominant is an act of service rather than an act of oppression. Conceptually, it defies traditional gender expectations where submissiveness is viewed as a feminine trait and is meant for the pleasure of dominance as a masculine trait. The gender of the people in each role might vary, but the reinforcement of power and pleasure on qualities associated with traditional femininity or masculinity serve a large part in creating an egalitarian space where all bodies are treated with respect. These results support the findings of

Simula and Sumerau (2017) where deviant communities show a greater willingness to deviate from traditional gender norms through experimentation, particularly with who has power regardless of that individuals’ gender.

DISCUSSION AND CONCLUSION

These personal accounts and definitions of the consent taught and enforced within the

BDSM community, show that consent is pervasive within this community. Not the implicit kind of consent where consent can only be withdrawn, but enthusiastic consent where consent is a deliberate and celebrated act of autonomy (Wiseman 1996; Carmody 2003; Barker 2016).

Findings support the literature in use of enthusiastic consent, RACK, and SSC among the population interviewed (Langdridge & Barker 2007; Williams, Thomas, Prior, & Christensen

2014). Most participants cited their participation in the BDSM community as their first point of contact with ideologies of consent, how to give and receive it, and how to avoid coercion and assumptions typical of rape culture. They described simple tools learned through BDSM such as

Traffic Light Consent and the Number Scale. These tools used to educate about and enforce consent in BDSM have the potential to share consent ideologies with the broader culture to both combat rape culture and encourage the growth of consent culture. Particularly, Traffic Light consent has the potential for application in consent education programs, even for educating children. This is a simple concept which moves consent beyond sexual encounters to teach about bodily autonomy and agency.

The abuse stigma associated with the BDSM community is unfounded (Wright 2006). It is ironic that dominant society tolerates rape culture and its byproducts of inequality but places stigma on a community that practices consent and strives to create an egalitarian space.

However, it is not shocking. Rape culture perpetuates the gender norms and hierarchy upheld by the gender structure in society (Buchwald, Fletcher, & Roth 1993). Through abuse stigma, the structure works to protect itself from ideologies that could challenge it. A society that upholds rape culture cannot simultaneously allow spaces where consent culture practices thrive. Subjects in the research shared how they felt safer within the bar where BDSM groups meet than any other public space they inhabited due to the lack of stigma and enforcement of consent within it.

This is congruent with Stiles & Clark’s (2011) research that highlighted how BDSM participants sought the company of and dating opportunities with other BDSM identifying individuals to avoid judgment and stigma. Many that had experienced abuse said it had occurred outside the

BDSM community and the safety of the community drew them to it. Previous research has not considered how BDSM enforces consent. In this group, consent is the law of the land and those who disobey it are subject to sanctioning. While informal and formal sanctions, as well as peer monitoring, provide safety for participants, it also speaks to how BDSM manages this abuse stigma. Through informal and formal sanctions, the BDSM community works to distance BDSM from abuse stigma and rape culture. The DM’s police the community and are peer monitors who volunteer to be consent specialists, so they can ensure compliance with consent protocol. These practices are in place for safety, but they also allow BDSM participants protection against abuse stigma, because abusers would not have such strict protocol in place to promote consent and autonomy for the safety of others.

Enforcement of consent within BDSM is more dubious in how it could apply to broader society. BDSM makes up a small portion of the larger population, making enforcement easier to accomplish. However, these findings support that individuals held accountable for their actions in a consent culture are less likely to violate consent. The zero-tolerance policy in the BDSM

community ensures any person who reports a consent violation is heard and believed which directly contrasts victim blaming ideologies held by rape culture. The community in this research takes immediate action to protect the victim of the consent violation rather than putting the burden of proof on them. Supporting victims of consent violations forces the violator to take accountability and face the appropriate sanctioning and is the antithesis of victim blaming

(Klement, Sagarin, & Lee 2017). If society mirrored this zero-tolerance policy along with support for and believing victims of consent violations, sexual assault, and harassment, we might begin the shift of rape culture to consent culture.

Sociological research that examines rape culture has revealed that structural components, like gender, work to reinforce and reproduce its underlying values (Buchwald, Fletcher, and Roth

1993; Boswell & Spade 1996; Pascoe & Hollander 2016; Reling et al. 2018). Rape is still stigmatized despite the perceived embracement of rape culture in dominant society. This causes men to distance themselves from the stigma associated with being a rapist through acts that allow them to practice masculinity safely (Pascoe & Hollander 2016). The BDSM community might be a space where this occurs. Male participants distanced themselves from rape culture by participating in deviant sexualities like BDSM that heavily practice consent. This allowed them to frame themselves as “good men” who respect ideologies of consent and reject rape culture while maintaining masculine dominance. Men can assert their masculinity through dominance in

BDSM where it is celebrated and accepted by those around them. However, Carmody (2003) found the inherent concept of power being structurally established as masculine power to be deterministic in a way that inhibits consent from being freely given or withdrawn. Dominant male study participants expressed a desire to be in control while admitting their control was permitted through the consent of the submissive. Perhaps, it is the presence of consent and the

shifting exchange of power that allows the men to feel fulfilled in their masculinity while also being able to distance themselves from potentially being labeled a rapist or abuser. Due to their interactions within a consent culture, they can learn healthy ways to channel traditional masculinity. However, these spaces also allow men to reject traditional masculinity and experiment with concepts like submission. The same is true for women in BDSM, they can shed the traditional norms of femininity to explore alternatives. Women in the study expressed how they felt powerful in their submissive and dominant roles because they knew they had the agency to give or revoke consent at any time. The agentic process of consent alongside freedom to explore characteristics associated with gender create a place where gender is both reinforced and deconstructed. These findings support those of Simula and Sumerau (2017) who found that

BDSM participants simultaneously challenge and reproduce gender norms.

However, there is another layer of gender work done in BDSM that operates to create consent culture. Foucault (1990) thought the BDSM community inhabited a unique social space for the construction and deconstruction of power through the fluidity of roles (dominant and submissive). He found that the play in BDSM presented a two-way directionality of power that could work to disrupt traditional ideas of power (Foucault 1990). This community regularly navigates power dynamics, specifically those constraining gender norms and characteristics, through play where people try on power and use it in nontraditional ways (Carmody 2003;

Newmahr 2011). BDSM has the potential to deconstruct those gender norms and characteristics through individuals understanding how they impact others and allowing anyone to experience them without status loss. Participants in this study described how they felt they could switch between roles depending on their mood or the activity. Others described how they had moved between roles from dominant to submissive or submissive to dominant that conflicted with the

assumed characteristics of their gender. These findings support Seidman (2003) who found that

BDSM offered a critique of the social construction of gender norms through the negotiation and manipulations of these norms. These findings only have implications for performative gender occurring on individual and interactional levels, however they suggest that gender equity and taking the role of the other encourage the formation and reinforcement of consent culture.

Structural gender inequality would be difficult to challenge with the practices found in BDSM because of social institutions and rape culture that reinforce patriarchy and male dominance.

However, my findings show that the BDSM community performs and interacts with consent in a way that reproduces and deconstructs gender norms.

The road to constructing a consent culture begins with disrupting and resisting the widely accepted beliefs of rape culture. The BDSM community does this through solid definitions of consent, implementing enthusiastic consent education, and enforcing consent through a zero- tolerance of consent violation policy. If these tactics could be utilized in spaces outside BDSM, society may be better equipped to counteract rape culture in a multi-angled attack. Also, if society were more educated about BDSM and the consent practices found within it, perhaps it would also help to alleviate the abuse stigma associated with BDSM to expose people to how a consent culture can be supported.

33 LIMITATIONS AND FUTURE DIRECTIONS

The findings presented in this paper are subject to several limitations. First, I selected participants from one specific region due to convenience and limited resources to expand the study to a wider physical area. I used snowball sampling and online recruiting to recruit participants which is often necessary when considering hidden populations. The sample size, though adequate for this analysis, is relatively small and would be difficult to generalize on the entire BDSM population. Future research should broaden the physical location of participants to regional areas throughout the United States and beyond to see if attitudes toward consent remain consistent across national and international samples. The time allotted to complete the research is also a limitation. Longitudinal qualitative studies could afford researchers a richer understanding of how the BDSM population creates consent culture maintained by BDSM practices and interactions.

Within the present study, most participants identified as being white in race. In the future, researchers should strive for a robust sample that includes as much diversity among BDSM practitioners as possible. This might be representative of this group’s population for the considered local area. Though this research included diverse sexualities and BDSM roles, there was no representation of male-identified submissives or slaves, or gay men or lesbian women.

Again, this could represent the studied area, however, it is likely these populations are present within BDSM groups in other local areas. Future research should incorporate as many identities as possible to see if ideas of consent are still as strong across the population. As a researcher of a stigmatized population, it is difficult to know how my positionality as an authority figure could

34 affect the responses of participants. Future research should seek to use triangulation to both inquire about and observe consent practices to see how responses coordinate with practice.

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