Student Caught After Selling Dozens of Fake

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Vol. XCI, Issue No. 3 SINCE 1916 Frid? r, September 5, 2003 Student caught after selling dozens of fake IDs RUPD encourages students who bought the fake Texas driver licenses to turn in IDs or possibly face criminal charges by Mark Berenson and Jenny Rees The Thresher is withholding the ter and this semester, Taylor said. identified as having purchased IDs, already destroyed their IDs should

THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF student's name because at press time Taylor said the Harris County Dis- Taylor said. He urged students with keep the pieces and turn them over no charges had been filed against him. trict Attorney issued a warrant for the IDs to come forward. to RUPD. He said students who have A Rice student will face criminal The student was taken to the individual's arrest based on evidence "We are encouraging anyone who lost or disposed of their IDs should charges in Harris County after sell- RUPD station, where Taylor said he RUPD gave the DA before interview- has an ID card like that to get it still come forward to avoid criminal ing fake Texas driver licenses to confessed to the crimes. ing the individual, and the individual turned in to us," Taylor said. "We charges. dozens of students. The students "He basically said, 'Yup, I've been turned himself in after the interview. need the card, and we need a state- Assistant Dean for Student Judi- who purchased the IDs also face doing it,' and he rattled off 30- He could face a felony charge for each ment from them on how they ob- cial Programs Don Ostdiek said he disciplinary actions. 35 names that he remembered do- II) he distributed, as well as disciplin- tained it. [The cases] will be sent will follow standard judicial proce- ing it for," Taylor said. ary action through the Office of Stu- over to Student Judicial Programs dure in handling the cases of stu- Taylor said the individual also gave dent Judicial Programs, Taylor said. for whatever decision they want to dents who purchased IDs. Ostdiek Several different Texas state laws RUPD permission to search his off- The individual declined to com- [make], but if [students] do that, we said he can proceed only after he apply to fake IDs. See Box, Page 9. campus residence, where officers re- ment through his lawyer. are not going to criminally receives a police report, and he ex- covered a computer in which he had Vice President for Student Affairs prosecute." pects to receive a report in the next Rice University Police Chief Bill stored the names of every person who Zenaido Camacho said Wednesday Students should not destroy the few days. Taylor said officers noticed a rash of purchased an ID from him. RUPD the student was still enrolled at Rice IDs, Taylor said. "I want to see what's in the re- false driver licenses at Willy's Pub sent the computer to a forensics lab so and the Office of Student Judicial "A lot of people are panicking and port, what people's statements look and at a traffic stop on the Inner the information could be retrieved. Programs is investigating the case. cutting it up or throwing it away," he like to the police," Ostdiek said. I^oop toward the end of last week. Officers also recovered a large sum of said. "The problem is that then we "Confidentiality, fairness, as well as After taking statements from stu- cash from the apartment. RIJPD tracks down buyers can't be sure that the card isn't out consistency are a few things that dents in possession of the IDs, offic- At least 70 students purchased During the weekend RUPD be- there still being used." you look for in every case." ers were able to identify a suspect. IDs from the individual last semes- gan making contact with all students Taylor said students who have See ID, Page 8 Firm to review Athletics by Lindsey Gilbert The Faculty Council Committee THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF on Athletics completed its own review of athletics last semester and Beginning this fall, outside con- submitted its report, "Athletics at sultants will work to construct a com- Rice," to the board at the board's prehensive picture of Rice athletics. May meeting. The Board of Trustees will hire The report is about 300 pages. an independent firm to study the Speaker of the Faculty Ed Akin said. current status of athletics at Rice 'Hie report is classified and only avail- and to suggest improvements for able to faculty and administrators the future, Chairman of the Board because President Malcolm Gillis Bill Barnett ('55) said. deemed some of the statistics he The study will aid the board in supplied to the committee confiden- evaluating aspects of athletics such as tial, Akin said. division status and conference mem- Akin, a mechanical engineering bership, he said. The chosen firm will ami material sciences pi ofessor. said compare the athletics department to one of the faculty's major concerns is those of other universities and survey the cost of Rice's athletics program members of the Rice community, in- as compared to the cost of athletics cluding students and faculty. programs at similar universities. "The idea is that when it gets Faculty members are also con- done it's a prei tv definitive picture of cerned about admission standards the pluses and minuses of athletics for athletes, he said. the way it is now. what the alterna- "There has been an increase in tives are as we move forward, the number of students admitted con- whether we ought to stay like we trary to the recommendations of the are, whether we ought to make mi- faculty subcommittee [that reviews nor changes, major changes," athlete admissions]," Akin said. Barnett said although the board KATIE STREIT/THRESHER Barnett said. The study will be the first of its has many resources at its disposal, kind on athletics at Rice, but not the including the Faculty Council's re- Pitchers for six bucks, Pedro for $15.5 million first study the board has commis- port, members unanimously sup- Willy's Pub bartender Chris Sullivan laughs with customers while watching a baseball game on the television sioned. For example, an outside reported the decision to commission a now located above the bar. The television was originally located on a pillar in the pub, but was moved to the bar view of the Jones business school more complete and objective study. and hooked up when classes started. two years ago led to significant "What I told the board was that I changes, he said. See BOARD. Page 6 Paperless registration to debut INSIDE

community is that the system is accessible on OPINION Page 3 by Jenny Rees Add deadline campus and off campus, in state, out of state Thanking those that make O-Week work. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Today is the last day to add classes and out of country," Montag said. "That will without a fee. Students must drop off tremendously help students who are study A&E Page 12 Standing in line to register for classes will their add/drop form at the Registrar by 5 abroad, graduate students and other students Local movie theaters reviewed become a thing of the past after the Office of the p.m. This is the last free chance to add who are just unable to come to campus to do Registrar launches a new online student sys- that class of your dreams, like CHEM 211 the registration process." SPORTS Pages 16-17 tem Nov. 17. For the first time ever, students or ELEC 251. Director of Academic Advising Michele Soccer preview will be able to complete the entire registration Today is also the last day to return Daley said her office is working closely with process online, Registrar Jerry Montag said. books to the bookstore for a full refund. Quote of the Week "The system is basically a paperless sys- the Registrar's Office to devise an academic The bookstore will not issue refunds for "The knowledge that the phone you run to tem where you will be meeting with your advising process that is compatible with the any books returned after today. Sealed could be broken should make all students, Banner system. adviser, your adviser will recommend courses books must still be in the original packag- especially those unfamiliar with the campus, "We are working with the Registrar's Office you should be taking and you will go online ing in order to get the refund. So, stu- a bit uneasy." and the academic advisers to ensure that, from and register for classes," Montag said. "Then dents better hope their Amazon.com pur- — Wiess freshman Windsen Pan. See Story, an advising point of view, the new system will you're registered pending payment of fees chases come in on time, or else they will Page 7. be a significant improvement over the existing and other obligations." have legitimate excuses for not doing system," Daley said. "At this point, things have Scoreboard The system, currently named Banner, their homework. should be operational in time for students to not been finalized with the academic advisers, Football register for Spring 2004 courses, Montag said. divisional and major [advisers], or with exactly Rice 14, Houston 48 Soccer The Banner system will replace SISWeb, how some aspects of the system will work." Sept. 11 observance Students will still need to go to the Rice 0, Oregon 1 which has been in operation since November Rice Chorale will sing Brahms' Re- San Francisco 1, Rice 0 Registrar's Office if registration for a course is of 2001. Banner will house all the student data quiem in Alice Pratt Brown Hall at closed, or if they need to change a course now available on SISWeb, such as information 8:00 a.m. There will be a campus-wide Weekend Weather designation to pass-fail or audit. However, the on courses, academic history, financial aid, moment of silence at 12:15 p.m. led by the Friday Banner system will significantly reduce the Cashier's accounts and transcripts. college presidents in the commons of Partly cloudy, 90-63 degrees number of students waiting in line during Montag said unlike SISWeb, Banner will each respective college. Various religious Saturday registration periods. Montag said. Sunny, 87-65 degrees be accessible from computers that are not on organizations will be holding services on Montag and Daley said their offices will Sunday the Rice network. Sept. 10 and 11. See story, Page 6, for release more information about the Banner | Mostly cloudy, 83-67 degrees "One of the big things about the system more details. that we want to make known to the campus system as the details are determined. TTTT»' , . \Y,vX % * % v S '•

THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003

L ' the Rice Thresher MMUttP Cooperate in ID case — IWlr for everyone's good nr«. If you are a Rice student with a fake ID, you should want to turn UA-SAjr? it in now. The recent fallout over the arrest by the Rice University Police Department of a seller of fake IDs has implications reaching far beyond this campus and even beyond Harris County. (See Story, Page 1.) The Texas Alcohol and Beverage Commission takes fake ID offenses seriously and will most likely be monitoring this matter and the way it is handled. If students abuse Rice's mercy, deny wrongdoing and keep their cards, the state of Texas could preempt Rice's judgement; the state could swoop down upon — ~71I and drastically change — this school's policy on student alcohol TX consumption. We are glad the university is keeping this a largely internal issue. 5 Rice is offering students who turn themselves in immunity from criminal charges. We hope that Student Affairs will continue this reasonable attitude when possessors of the fake IDs come before Student Judicial Programs. Just as criminal charges may be out of line given the severity of the offenses, suspension, expulsion and rustication — all T ISNT options for University Court or the Assistant Dean for Student Judicial Programs — also seem inappropriate. Such harsh punishments could compromise the life goals of offending students in a way that simply does not fit the crimes. On the other hand, the students should not be let off with a slap on the wrist. Besides the fact that possessing a fake ID is against the law, the gravity of this scandal threatens the mutual trust between students and administration that is inherent in the current alcohol policy. In addition to our recommendation to turn in fake IDs, we would like to suggest that our readers get the word out about this matter — especially to Rice students living off-campus. Those caught with the fake IDs outside the university (where the Houston Police Depart- ment. not RUPD, has jurisdiction) will be dealt with much more But WKIH 4220 harshly by Harris County officials. Justified or not, that's the law. Please come forward and also tell your friends. Things can only get worse if you don't. IT COULD BE... Rice needs to get smarter

on blue-light phones LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Here we go again. Blue-light phones — this time four or five — have been out of order since O-Week, and Rice is saying it's because Thresher 0-Week story Simon Birenbaum ing much of the West, the Senate of construction. (See Story, Page 7.) Ellen Montz needs to support a concentrated What we don't understand is why, despite the constant and misrepresented Jones Jones juniors effort to log around homes and com- Jones O-Week Coordinators munities. Unfortunately the Bush seemingly eternal construction on this campus, the university hasn't To the editor bill does not put a single dollar into yet figured out a way to keep the campus safe even when it's being As the Jones College Orientation treatment in such areas. In con- torn apart. Week Coordinators, we would like trast, Democratic alternatives uti- Surely there is some kind of object in this world that can signal an to respond to "Alcohol Poisoning Bush promotes special lize "common sense" and science, emergency and isn't dependent on the underground equipment that Disrupts O-Week" (Aug. 29). Sev- interests, not forests placing lives and private property eral aspects of Ian Everhart's report- over the timber industry's profit construction crews frequently disrupt. A university that can put up ing are misleading and inaccurately To the editor: margin. an interactive "welcome" computer screen in the Sallyport ought to reflect the events that took place at As Congress gears up for a con- be able to come up with a wireless call-box, radio or alarm system Jones. troversial fall, the debate on Ben Ratner that will make our campus safer. First and most offensive, the President Bush's "Healthy Forest Hanszen senior Part of the problem, we suspect, is that it is difficult to pinpoint a headline implies that this incident Initiative" is beginning to heat up Rice Students for tainted Jones O-Week. The issue single person who oversees the maintenance of blue-light phones. on Capitol Hill. A Bush-backed bill Progressive Activism was handled quickly, discreetly and has already passed the House, and The university should affirm its commitment to campus safety first by decisively and kept entirely sepa- it will resurface in the Senate. The naming a person to be in charge of all facets of the phones — probably rate from O-Week activities. The two bill is worth looking at not only Rice University Police Chief Bill Taylor — and then by working out a students were in no way involved because of the issues it directly CONTACTING THE way to keep construction from endangering the campus. with O-Week and no persons in- confronts, but also because it re- THRESHER volved with O-Week consumed al- veals the Bush administration's mis- cohol. placed priorities. Letters When contacted for interviews, The problem? This summer, • Letters to the editor we declined comment as we were like last summer, tens of thou- should be sent to the Thresher told that the story was going to be Paperless, romance-less sands of acres of federally man- by e-mail to thresher®rice. edu. about campus-wide O-Week alcohol aged land burned in destructive letters must be received by 5 problems. Since this incident didn't fires. In addition, these fires de- p.m. on the Monday prior to a include anyone involved with registration is on its way stroyed property. Friday publication date. O-Week, we didn't feel it would be The White House solution is the • All letters to the editor We're going to miss standing in line at the Registrar's Office. All appropriate for us to comment. How- "Healthy Forest Initiative," which must be signed and include a ever, by interviewing Director of the happy thoughts we've conjured up while waiting around for the Bush hails as "common sense" and phone number. Student Activities Heather Masden, processing of our forms ... all the new, frustrated people we get to which U.S. Secretary of Agriculture • Letters should be no meet... and, last but not least, all the budding romances that flower whose office oversees O-Week, and Ann Veneman says will give better quoting her regarding the adviser longer than 250 words in "management tools" to those who length. The l^hresherrescrves the instant we start complaining about our academic predicaments alcohol policy, the article implies manage the nation's forests. Sounds to that hot girl/guy behind us. that Jones College advisers were the right to edit letters for like a sensible solution, right? both content and length. Nevertheless, we suppose it's a good thing that the Registrar's drinking. They were not. Wrong. What Bush's Orwellian Office will soon transition from SISWeb to Banner, an on-line, almost Finally, it was an irresponsible rhetoric obscures is that "manage- Subscribing paperless registration system which will no longer require trips to move on the part of the Thresher to ment tools" means the repeal of the • Annual subscriptions are print this article while the students' the office to register for classes. (See Story, Page 1.) Both trees and Appeals Reform Act (leaving the available for $50 domestic and case is still pending and the article process by which citizens can ap- $105 international via first time will be saved by the switch, which will be completed in time for will interfere with the Jones College peal U.S. Forest Service projects at class mail. spring pre-registration in November. judicial process. We hope that in the the discretion of the U.S. Secretary Lines, it won't be the same without you. Not that that's bad. future the ThresherwiW be more care- of Agriculture) and "common sense" Advertising ful with their choices of stories and means in accordance with the de- m We accept display and word usage. sires of special interests that dictate classified advertisements. Unsigned editorials represent the majority opinion of the Thresher Bush policy. Please contact the Thresher editorial staff. Andrew Johnstone To stop the loss of property plagu- for more information. THE RICE THRESHER OPINION FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 Guest column Thank 0-Week advisers; waive the fee Rice Voices Classes start and you feel lost. sure successful programming during board, costs students would undergo Western media distorts, You never got a good tour of cam- the week. Every undergraduate in- no matter what they were doing that pus, the only people you know are volved in O-Week is thankful for both week. But that just doesn't make sense your roommates and you are not so of those things, but support by a few from a practical standpoint squelches Israeli views sure the classes you en- dedicated professionals Advisers are barely in their rooms rolled in are ones you ac- does not show the support during the week, so they can't possi- Last Friday, The New York Times ing was being destroyed in an op- tually need to take. of the entire system. bly use that much electricity. And demonstrated once again the in- eration to root out tunnels used by Uickily, this didn't hap- At the schools Rice with all the food being cooked for ability of the Western media to terrorists to smuggle weapons into pen to you. But it did hap- tends to compare itself 10, the new students, a few dozen advis- report fairly on issues related to Gaza. Corrie ignored multiple warn- pen to new students at there are assigned readers can't add that much more to the the Middle East. ings from the IDF to other institutions of higher ing lists, meetings and bu- entire cost. That day, a front keep clear of the opera- learning across the U.S. reaucracy instead of smil- page article titled "Vis- tion. The bulldozer did Orientation Week is ing advisers, get-to-know- its stir new tension at not ju st run her down — over, and parents through- vou games and people who Jerusalem holy site" Corrie fell from a pile of rubble, out of sight of out the country and the Rachel will stick with you through Support by a few reported the resump- world are thankful for the the year, and frequently tion of visits to the the driver of the bull- support and attention their Rustin beyond. As crazy as dedicated Dome of the Rock plaza dozer, which was ar- new Rice student received. O-Week is, and as much as by non-Muslims. The mored (giving the driver limited visibility). They are telling their we all know that not all site, known to Jews as professionals does not An autopsy determined friends and their relatives about how events of the week are supported by the Temple Mount and that the cau se of Corrie's easy the college transition is going to the university, the support system put show the support of the to Muslims as the David death was from falling be for their child because of the im- in place by the week is impressive. Haram al-Sharif, had Axel debris, not the bulldozer pressive support network put in place entire system. There is prestige to being an ad- been closed to non- running her over. by a team of energetic, intelligent, viser, but there is also a week less of Muslims since Novem- dedicated upperclassmen. summer, a week of no sleep and a lot ber 2000, except for a brief period An overzealous protester en- Seems like there ought to be more stress when the semester earlier this summer. tered a dangerous area and suf- some acknowledgement of the un- starts. There is also no kind of thanks In reality, it doesn't matter what These appear to be the only fered a terrible accident — tragic, dergraduates who did all the work. from the university — not even a those costs are. Large or small, the facts presented in the article. The but hardly the story of a ruthless Instead, the university gets miles of polite e-mail or a reception. university should swallow them up rest is biased and misleading. army killing innocents that was re- free, positive press while the happy Perhaps the best way to thank as a thank-you to the colleges and the Jews believe the Temple ported in Western media. undergraduates are exhausted, O-Week advisers would be to re- undergraduates who devote them- Mount is the location of the first Another example is the "mas- stressed and starting classes with- move the fee they have to pay . selves to making sure the new mem- and second Temples, yet the ar- sacre" of Jenin. March 29 to out ever getting a chance to unpack. That's right, the fee. A little bers of their college become just as ticle deemphasizes this by say- April 21 of last year saw an Israeli The university gets all the credit known fact is that advisers at many integrated into Rice as they were. ing, "Orthodox Jewish religious military incursion into the refu- without giving proper credit to the colleges have to pay to advise. Most The students who run orienta- authorities differ on the location gee camp of Jenin and a pitched students who make the orientation colleges contribute to this fee, and tion and work throughout orienta- of the Holy of Holies." At the battle between the IDF and Pales- system so wonderful. some even pay for the whole thing, tion enjoy their roles and are not same time, the article pointedly tinian gunmen. Palestinians The university does support the but it is still an additional financial waiting for a reward. Nevertheless, describes the area as "Islam's claimed the IDF leveled homes system by providing staff support burden on many advisers. the university should step up and do third holiest site." without cause and that a massa- on several levels and by generously Why should the university charge something to thank those students Three times in the article, Pal- cre occurred. Palestinian spokes- allowing undergraduates to more or students to help new students ad- for their service. estinians are quoted or referenced men were quoted on CNN as saying that Israel performed "blan- less run the whole show. Those em- just and get ready for their new aca- as saying the Jews were being ket bombing today of the cities of ployed in a variety of offices in Stu- demic experience? allowed back to the Dome of the Rachel Rustin is a Wiess College Nablus and Jenin" and that "the dent Activities devote time and en- The university would probably say Rock plaza to pray, something that senior, Wiess O-Week coordinator and Jenin refugee camp is no longer ergy to working with students to en- that it is merely charging for room and a former Thresher editor-in-chief. is false. However, only once is it mentioned that Israeli police are in existence." posted to prevent Jews from pray- In fact, aerial photos of the area Guest column ing on the site; that they turned show that the camp is still very one individual away; and that Is- much there; perhaps 10 percent of raeli intelligence agents are also it was destroyed. No "blanket 'Defense of Marriage' legally indefensible posted to prevent an attack on the bombing" of any sort took place. site by Jewish extremists. International observers sent to in- The following is first in a series benefits and Social Security violates tion also did not mean to entitle The article closes by quoting a vestigate the claims of a massacre of columns on gay marriage. the Fourteenth Amendment, which women or people of different races tour guide and rabbi regardinghis refused time and again to so label guarantees that no state can "make or to equality in their original state- hope that animal sacrifices could the events. The Committee for Society evolves. Taking this fact enforce any law which shall abridge ment. (In fact, they clearly wished be resumed on the site. This is a Accuracy in Middle East Report- into account, the framers the privileges or immuni- for them to be disenfranchised.) It is total misrepresentation of main- ing published extensive articles of the Constitution left ties of citizens of the United the execution of this principle and stream Judaism, which has long concerning the Jenin incursion in much room for the docu- States." In fact, the Four- how it has grown with the nation since given up animal sacrifice. its Fall 2002 edition, revealing nu- merous allegations as false. ment to grow and evolve teenth Amendment has that is relevant. The article is only one example Obviously, what we read, see, with society. These already been applied by the The meaning of the phrase "all in the extended history of West- and hear about what is happening flexibilities, while allowing Supreme Court to the men are created equal" has evolved ern media misrepresentations of in the Middle East in Western an increase in liberty as rights of homosexual citi- over the past two centuries to mean the Middle East situation. that all U.S. citizens are equal before Perhaps you remember the in- media outlets may not be accu- part of a trend toward egali- zens. The Romer v. Evans rate. Even if the "truths" about tarianism, have also per- (1996) ruling successfully the law and are protected by their cident in March when American nation. It is this principle that makes college student Rachel Corrie was the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that mitted generations of overturned an anti-homo I have tried to show are not in fact the United States unique in the world. run over by an Israeli Defense equal rights opponents to sexual provision in the true, they are at the very least a Ames It is this principle that lies at the heart Force bulldozer on its way to de- find legal loopholes to fight Colorado Constitution. perspective that has been abso- of the axiom "United we stand." Let stroy a Palestinian home. The im- emerging societal trends. Grawert If the United States is lutely drowned out by the allega- us hope that those words have not plication was that the IDF razes Today, the same old ever to be truly free, the tions of the Palestinians. story is repeated with the Defense of Marriage Act, become just another empty slogan. homes and runs over protesters like so many unjust and discriminatory without compunction. But there is Defense of Marriage Act, a law David Axel is a Brown College laws that preceded it, must be repealed. Ames Grawert is a Lovett College more to the story. passed in 1996 by Congress that has sophomore. been used to prevent same-sex sophomore. The house Corrie was protect- couples from joining in federally recognized civil unions. The law grants individual state governments The writers of the the right to decide whether they will The Rice Thresher, the official student recognize marriages made in other Declaration also did newspaper at Rice University since 1916. is states. In addition, the law denies the Rice Thresher published each Friday during the school year, the survivor of a same-sex couple not mean to entitle except during examination periods and benefits from Veterans Affairs and holidays, by the students of Rice University. women or people of Mark Berenson other federal agencies. Editor in Chief Editorial and business offices are located The Defense of Marriage Act jus- different races to on the second floor of the Ley Student Center, tifies itself under the "Full Faith and 6100 Main St., MS-524. Houston. TX 77005- Credit Clause" of our Constitution, equality. 1892. Phone (713) 348-4801. Fax (713) 348- which declares, "Full Faith and Credit 5238. E-mail: [email protected]. Web page: NEWS BACKPAGE www. riceth resher. org. shall be given in each State to the Lindsey Gilbert. Editor Danny Blanco. Editor public Acts, Records, and judicial Pro- Lucas Ogden-Davis. Editor Daniel McDonald, Asst. Editor Annual subscription rate: $50 domestic, Jenny Rees, Ass/, Editor ceedings of every other State. And As a nation, we must forsake the $105 international. Nonsubscriptionrate: first COPY the Congress may by general Laws idea that the federal government copy free, second copy $5. prescribe the Manner in which such has any right to discriminate against OPINION Melissa Bailey, Editor Nathan Black. Editor Elaine Lee. Assf. Editor Acts, Records and Proceedings shall its citizens and constituents. We John Donaleski, Cartoonist Vivian Wiener. Ass/. Editor The Thresher reserves the right to refuse be proved, and the Effect thereof." must further accept that it is not any advertising for any reason. Additionally, That this law is morally repug- within the scope of the federal or SPORTS PHOTOGRAPHY the Thresher does not take responsibility for nant is not in question. To deny a state governments to regulate and Jonathan Yardley, Editor Stuart Sinclair, Editor the factual content of any ad. Printing an Dylan Hedrick, Ass( Editor Katie Streit, Editor advertisement does not constitute an person in a relationship the simple enforce a citizen's private life. Matt Crnkovich. Ass/. Editor endorsement by the Thresher. right of visiting his or her partner in Not only is the Defense of Mar- ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT intensive care at a hospital is the riage Act an unconstitutional law, it Carly Kocurek, Editor BUSINESS Unsigned editorials represent the majority Polly D'Avignon, Business Manager worst kind of discrimination. is also a step back from the basic Jon Schumann, Asst. Editor opinion of the 77ir«/ifreditorial staff. All other Jennifer Quereau, Page Designer Debbie Miller, Asst. Business Manager opinion pieces represent solely the opinion of I /'gaily, the law bases itself on an beliefs upon which our country was Emily Jones, Distribution Manager the author interpretation of the Full Faith and founded. While the writers of the CALENDAR Parul Patel, Subscriptions Manager Declaration of Independence may Erika Acheson, Editor Margaret Xu. Office Manager Credit Clause that violates common The Th resher is a member of the Associated not have meant to include equality Ajay Kalia, Editor sense. For Congress to allow a mar- ADVERTISING Collegiate Press and the Society of Professional riage to be recognized in one state for homosexual citizens when they ONLINE Ethan Varela, Ads Manager Journalists. Bloody weather. but declared null in another is a wrote the phrase "all men are cre- Jack Hard castle, Editor Matt Hamilton. Asst Ads Manager clear violation of state sovereignty. ated equal," this piece of specula- Gretchen Raff, Classified Ads Manager © COPYRIGHT 2003. Further, denying federal prop- tion is irrelevant to the case. Con- erty in the form of Veterans Affairs sider that the writers of the Declara- i: \ A S '•> V V \ \ \ MBll v » » \

THE RICE THRESHER ADVERTISEMENT FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 1 • ...»:

Banner \ban"ner\"n. The administrative software used to maintain Rice s financial and human resource data; Soon it will host student and financial aid information as well.

The Office of the Registrar announces - Coming in November, 2003, just in time for the Spring 2004 Registration - THE BANNER STUDENT INFORMATION SYSTEM

Your new and improved ON-LINE registration system! Register for your classes ANYWHERE via the Web!

Things are happening fast around here! We've been working hard all summer on the implementation of this new software package. We even had some students help us out in one of the testing phases. So far, things are looking great!

We'll have a LOT of information for you in the upcoming weeks. So, look for further information and updates about the new Banner Student Information System around campus, and in future editions of the Thresher.

Have an AWESOME semester! THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 2004 commencement Acting director named HEWO director

by Lindsey Gilbert rector of Health Education and "Kim started a major survey research THKKSHER EDITORIAL STAFF Wellness in her role as Health Rep- on student health behaviors and atti- speaker still sought resentatives Coordinator, and she tudes two years ago and we're going New leadership as well as a new appreciates an adviser who is knowl- to continue that." David Brown mittee considered several factors, location will characterize the Health edgeable and approachable. Page said students should be FOR THK TIIRFSII1R including number of requests and Education and Wellness Office this With increased office space, the aware that wellness affects all as- cost, in compiling the final lists. year. Health Education and Wellness pects of their lives. The Dalai Lama hasn't checked "We want someone who's a thinker, Emily Dexter Page, formerly as- Office will be able to generate more "My philosophy on wellness is his e-mail lately. someone who's intellectually stimu- sistant director of Health Education programs and educational oppor- that it isn't ancillary to any other Or at least he hasn't responded to lating and dynamic," she said. and Wellness, was officially pro- tunities for students, Doran said. program on campus," she said. "It Rice's invitation to speak at the 2004 Milazzo said her personal favor- moted to the director's position Doran also said she hopes to con- has to be part of everything that a commencement. The 1989 Nobel ite is the Dalai Lama. Monday. Page has been acting as tinue the office's current initiatives. student does. Obviously if their Peace Prize winner is second on Scheid said Gillis was pleased director since Kim Lopez's resigna- "One thing that we will be con- health and wellness is not at its opti- President Gillis' ranked list of pos- with the committee's work. tion early this summer. tinuing is research on student health mal level, then a college degree isn't sible speakers. "This year there was a very good The search for a new assistant behaviorsand attitudes," Doran said. going to do someone a lot of good." Gillis could not reach an agree- list," he said. director will begin soon, Assistant ment with his first choice, former U.S. Last commencement's speaker, Dean for Student Health Programs Secretary of State Madeline Albright, astronaut Shannon Lucid, was Lindley Doran said. because she was unable to commit named in October after the three top The Health Education and before November, Assistant to the choices declined. However, Wellness Office, which is moving to President Mark Scheid said. In the 2002 speaker Bill Cosby was an- the former Brown Commons, orga- past, the President's Office has aimed nounced in March 2001, more than a nizes educational health programs to announce the speaker around the year before the ceremony. on campus and oversees three stu- time of Orientation Week, he said. Scheid said top choices are fre- dent groups: the Health Representa- Both Scheid and Religious Stud- quently unable to commit, and some- tives, Students Organized Against ies professor Anne Klein have sent times Rice chooses not to pay the Rape and the newly-formed e-mails to the Dalai Lama. If they do price certain speakers demand. Speakwell, which will stage student- not reach an agreement with him in Gillis asked former New York run wellness presentations in the the next week or two, Scheid said City mayor Rudolph Giuliani to speak colleges. efforts will shift to the third choice, at last year's commencement, but 'Hie director also works closely National Security Adviser Giuliani requested $100,000 and a with the Women's Resource Center, Condoleeza Rice. private jet for transportation. Doran said. If the top three choices do not Scheid said there is no set bud- Page, who has been at Rice a little accept, Gillis will consult the list get in determining a speaker, but over a year, said she is excited about compiled by the search committee her new position and hopes to in- KATIE STREIT/THRESHER $100,000 is more than Rice is willing Emily Dexter Page is the new director of Health Education and Wellness. he convened last March. to pay. In the past, the President's crease awareness of wellness issues Brown College President Kathleen Office has declined to pay $35,000 on campus. Milazzo, Sid Richardson College se- Milazzo said she thinks the "My goal is to make the Health nior Andy Weber, Ix>vett College se- President's Office would agree to Education and Wellness Office more nior Katherine Whaley, mechanical pay about $25,000 or less. visible to students," she said. "Right Bill White for Mayor engineering and material science "When you think about it, the now a lot of students don't even know graduate student Powtawche Williams point is not to pay a lot of money for that we exist, or they don't know and Jones College master Robin someone whose name is just going exactly what it is that we do." Forman, the mathematics department to sound good," she said. The director focuses on issues of Do you agree Bill White is the ONLY chair, solicited speaker suggestions Other speakers in Rice's brief importance to college-aged men and choice for Mayor? If so, come join from the class of 2004. The resulting 12-year tradition of commencement women, including reproductive our team and make a difference. group of 100 suggestions was then addresses include former presidents health, sleep patterns, nutrition and narrowed to three lists of ten potential George Bush and Jimmy Carter, stress management, Doran said. speakers each. writer Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., and Sena- Baker College senior Parul Patel Paid positions available immediately. Milazzo, a senior, said the com- tor Elizabeth Dole. said she works closely with the di- Contact Adam at 713.659.9000 or email at

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POLICE BLOTTER Sept. 11 observances planned The following items were reported to the University Police for the period Aug. 26 - Sep. 2. commons. by Clarence Yung "We wanted to remember 9/11, but not make a huge production out No national or faculty moments Residential Colleges FOR THE THRESHER of it," he said. of silence have been organized, As- Will Rice College Aug. 27 Bicycle stolen. This year's on-campus Sept. 11 Throughout the day, the SA and sistant to the President Mark Scheid observances will encourage private the Graduate Student Association said. Other Buildings reflection. will distribute black ribbons in the "The faculty has the freedom to Rice Memorial Aug. 28 Backpack stolen. The Student Association decided residential colleges and other build- do what they want to in classes, but Center to organize understated rather than ings, Leggett said. no particular observance has been formal events to mark the second The colleges, along with the SA, organized," Scheid said. Graduate House Aug. 29 Caller reported her bank account anniversary of the terrorist attacks have planned a campus-wide mo- As part of the university-wide Apartments had been charged for an AOL account on the World Trade Center and the ment of silence at 12:15 p.m. The observances, the Rice Chorale will that had been opened by someone Pentagon, SA co-President Michael college presidents will lead the mo- sing Brahms' Requiem in Alice Pratt else. Leggett said. ment of silence in each college's Brown Hall at 8:00 a.m. The Chorale performed Mozart's Requiem last Other Areas Sept. 11. Entrance 16 Aug. 27 Subject arrested for assault Various religious organizations on a police officer. The subject The Baker Institute announces the availability of new will hold services both Sept. 10 and had been inside a building 11. The Progressive Christian Fel- drinking from a bottle of wine. student internships to run through the autumn semester. lowship will hold a service of re- When confronted, subject membrance Sept. 10 at 7 p.m. in the became violent and was These internships involve working with Rice faculty Rice Chapel. The chapel will be open remanded to Harris County Jail. and Baker Institute fellows on ongoing public policy for individual prayer and meditation Sept. 11. Main St. and Aug. 28 Subject stopped for driving research in the areas of energy policy, health policy, U.S. Additionally, the Joint Campus University Blvd. around a gate and over the foreign policy, and Chinese culture and possibly other Ministry will lead services through- side-walk near Lovett College. areas. out the day Sept. 11. The driver was arrested for In its discussion of how best to driving while intoxicated and Economics, political science or engineering observe the anniversary of the ter- remanded to Harris County Jail. rorist attacks, the SA decided not background is a plus. Workload may involve up to 10 to ask administrators to cancel College Way Aug. 30 Intoxicated driver was in hours a week. Interested Rice students should supply classes, Leggett, a Wiess College possession of an illegal the following to the Baker Institute as soon as possible: senior, said. Last year, a student weapon. Subject arrested on proposal to cancel classes lost sup- a weapons charge and a letter of application, including areas of interest port in a disagreement over a suit- remanded to Harris County Jail. able make-up day. a resume Sid Richardson College sopho- an official transcript more Bryan Steinfeld said he thinks one letter of recom mendation a less formal observance is appropriate. In the article "Asst. director of Student Affairs named" in the Aug. 29 Information should be addressed to: "This year, we have an extra issue, Assistant director of Student Activities Holly Williams' title was year of mourning," Steinfeld said. misstated. Baker Institute Internship Committee "I think it's okay for less formal Baker Institute, MS-40 stuff as long as we remember the In the NCAA Championship Party photo feature (Aug. 29), Rice Athletics event." should have been listed as a sponsor of the party. Application consideration will start on September 5, Wiess junior Leslie McAhren agreed. The Thresher regrets the errors. 2003. Decisions will be made on a first come, first serve "I think there should be a re- basis. For more information contact Jillene Connors at membrance, but we as a society need x2374 or [email protected]. to move forward," she said. Review will examine all

.HOUSTON "RIBER SPECIALS SYMPHONY SO ON SALE! HANS ORAI facets of athletics at Rice MUSIC DIRK:TOR BOARD, from Page 1 Barnett said the study will be in- thought we needed our own study," depth and far-reaching. he said. "We needed to know that it "I don't know of any lother uni- was done objectively and fairly and versity] who has done it this thor- in a balanced way and that after that oughly," he said. COLLEGf LASSICS we could begin to make whatever Akin said the decisions of the decisions are indicated. 1 don't know board shape policy at Rice, and he is what those will be, if any." glad the board has chosen to com- At the board's May meeting, mission the study. Barnett appointed a three-person "Realistically I think the board committee to interview outside con- has the major say as to the future of sultants. This committee will sug- athletics at Rice," he said. gest a candidate at the October meet- "I'm very encouraged because the ing, and the study will begin some board appears to be taking the initia- time after that. tive here."

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AVAILABLE NOW! CALL 71 3-224-7575 www.houstonsymphony.org THE RICE THRESHER NEWS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 Blue-light phones may remain broken for weeks

by Rachel Trube to get them fixed right away," Taylor might not happen immediately, FOR THE THRESHER said. "But he's got a deal with the Amery said. contractors and the contractors are "Some of these systems take longer At five different blue-light phone going to do it when they're ready to than it seems, because we can't find locations around campus, students do it." the wires we are fixing," Amery said. face an "out of order" sign rather As of Wednesday afternoon, "We may have to trace another wire to than a direct line to the Rice Univer- Amery said he knew about only three connect the phone to." sity Police Department. of the five broken blue-light phones. Taylor said red tape often stands Blue-light phones connect call- He said he does not recall receiving in the way of repairs. ers directly to RUPD in case of an any information about a problem with "We do what we can, but again, I emergency. There are 49 blue-light the phone wires prior to O-Week. can't go out and fix the wires," Taylor phones on campus. said. "So I'm kind of at the mercy, if you One of the five broken phones, will, of whoever*s running the project" located in the West Lot, has been out Martel senior Roshan of order since the summer. Recent ' We do what we can, Mansinghani said he thinks the de- construction projects severed under- lays reflect an indifference to stu- ground wiring for the other four, but again, I can't go out dents' safety concerns. RUPD Chief Bill Taylor. "The time it's taking to repair the The construction of a new sewer and fix the wires.' blue-light phones concerns me about line near Martel College has left two — Bill Taylor how the administration values the phones non-operational. Work on the Rice University Police Chief safety of our students," he said. overland flow channel near Wiess Martel Chief Justice Anna College has disconnected two others. Friedberg said memories of last Martel College senior Esmeralda semester's armed robbery near Brown Martinez, who lives off campus, said Amery said completion of the con- College are still fresh in her mind. she frequently walks through the struction projects remains his top "We should make blue-light Abercrombie parking lot late at night priority. Repair of the damaged phone phones our first priority, especially and is concerned that the phones wires near Martel can begin after the for residential colleges around the near Martel have been disconnected. storm sewer is finished, probably outer loop where few structural "Every time I leave campus, I within the next two weeks, he said. measures keep unwelcome guests walk past the blue light phone next "After we put the pipe in and back off the campus grounds," Friedberg, KATIE STREIT/THRESHER to the Master's house, and if some- fill the trench, then we go hack and a senior, said. A blue-light phone next to Abercrombie Lot is just one of five emergency phones across campus currently out of order. thing were to happen, the closest fix the damaged wires one by one," Wiess freshman Windsen Pan one would be out of order," she said. Amery said. said that as a new student he hopes phone during his four years at Rice, The Facilities and Engineering Taylor said he has notified Facili- Amery said the overland flow the phones will be fixed soon. during which time 20 new blue-light department posts an "out of order" ties Planner Max Amery, the man- channel near Wiess should also be "The knowledge that the phone phones have been installed, some sign on any non-operational phone ager of both construction projects, completed in the next two weeks. you run to could be broken should replacing older phones. to prevent people from using them twice since the discovery of the mal- He said both projects were sched- make all students, especially those The point is to have the phone in an emergency, Taylor said. function — once four weeks ago and uled for completion before the be- unfamiliar with the campus, a bit available in case there is a need, it's "Of course when you're a hun- again at the beginning of Orienta- ginning of the semester, but rain- uneasy," Pan said. a kind of insurance policy,' he said. dred feet away and can't see a sign, tion Week. storms delayed construction. Taylor said no major emergency "So there's a concern when they're or it's facing the other way, that "I keep telling him that we need Repair of the blue-light phones has been reported from a blue-light not working." doesn't do any good," he said. Sex and age discrimination lawsuit settled lArrilTANF by Ia» n Everhart- t "iT racan otofstatne ttha Vi mtt RicPipen certainlrarf'jinUy/ '[S]he waurisc painoirdl iirn» ao discriminaflicrnmino-. ^ THRESHER NEWS STAFF has not admitted any liability in the tory pay in comparison to male work- matter involving Ms. Pisegna," he ers and she was improperly denied Rice University has reached an said. "Rice emphatically denies that the promotion [that Frank Rodriguez Prescribed for Acne: out-of-court settlement in the case of any liability exists." gotj," Kerensky said. a former Housing and Dining em- Pisegna filed her lawsuit in Fed- Rodriguez was promoted from Have you or your loved one taken Accutane? ployee who alleged she was the vic- eral District Court Aug. 23, 2002, H&D Business Manager to H&D tim of discrimination based on her requesting back pay, injunctive re- Assistant Director of Business and Side Effects: sex and age. lief, punitive and compensatory dam- Facilities. Jack K. Robinson # Birth Detects Ix>retta Pisegna, a former Hous- ages and attorney's fees. Kerensky said he could not dis- ing Operations Manager, sued Rice The suit alleged, "The discrimi- close the specifics of the settlement Attorney at Law 9 Inflammatory Bowel Disease last August, claiming she was un- natory actions taken against because of confidentiality clauses in Rockwall, Texas # Damage to Major Orans including fairly passed over for promotions [Pisegna! [were] intentional in na- the agreement. ture and/or in the alternative, the "[The lawsuit] was settled to 9 Liver. Kidneys, Pancreas, Heart, & Eyes and pay raises. # Psychiatric Injuries & Diseases Associate General Counsel result of discriminatory policies and everyone's mutual satisfaction," www.jackrobinson.com Carlos Garcia said it is a Rice policy practices that caused a disparate Kerensky said. Please Call for a free consultation not to discuss ongoing litigation or impact upon [Pisegna's] pay rate and Pisegna could not be reached for [email protected] personnel matters. He said the settle- promotions." comment. 1-866-Know.Law ment should not be seen as an ad- In August 2002, Michael Vice President for Public Affairs mission of responsibility on the part Kerensky, Pisegna's attorney, told Terry Shepard referred all inquiries 1-866-566-9529 the Thresher Pisegna was unfairly about the case to the General Some cases may be referred to other Law Firms. Call Answered 24 hours a day of the university but declined to com- Not Certified by Texas Board of I egal Specialization ment further. denied a promotion. Counsel's office. 2004-'05 calendar approval delayed I File Your Claim Now!

ulty on behalf of college and Student Milazzo noted there were mul- by Mark Berenson Association presidents to encourage tiple ways the fall and spring semes- THRESHER EIIIT0R1AL STAFF a reevaluation of spring recess. Spring ters could be equalized in length Hie Rice 2004-'05 academic calen- recess was originally removed from while keeping the spring recess in- dar remains an unknown. The faculty the 2002-'03 calendar in order to bal- tact, such as starting classes on the was unable to vote on a proposed ance the length of the semesters. Thursday before they are currently calendar at Wednesday's faculty meet- scheduled to begin. ing because it had not been reviewed The faculty also discussed tying by the appropriate committees. the 2005 spring recess to the Hous- At the meeting, the residential 'We believe that the ton Independent School District's college presidents asked the faculty spring break, a preference they ex- to consider reinstating a two-day period of uninterrupted pressed last fall. For Spring 2004, spring recess in Spring 2005. Under the recess was not linked to HISD $25/hr the proposed 2004-'05 calendar, class days are because HISD's break was set so late in the semester. classes begin a week later, on detrimental to student Aug. 30, than they did this year. As a Akin, a mechanical engineering result, the entire fall and spring se- health and materials science professor, said mesters start a week later, with the tying the two breaks together, while 92nd Commencement tentatively — Kathleen Milazzo still a goal, might not be feasible. scheduled for May 14, 2005. Brown College president "That's still our goal, but due to Midterm recess — March 7-11 — HISD delays in making that deci- You can earn $15 to $30* an hour depending on what you tutor. would fall after seven weeks, exactly sion, it has been infeasible to in- halfway through the semester. clude that information at the time General Academic, Inc. needs tutors who have Speaker of the Faculty Ed Akin "The fall semester is divided so that we need to have a calendar," at least a 3.0 GPA said the proposed calendar needs to well for us, and then the spring semes- Akin said at the meeting. transportation be reviewed by University Council ter comes, and it is an adjustment to Also at Wednesday's faculty meet- and the University Standing Com- have to push through for so long with- ing, the faculty voted to delay the some tutoring experience start of preregistration for Fall 2004 mittee on the Undergraduate Cur- out a break," Milazzo, a senior, said. Tutors for all middle/high school subjects are riculum. Due to a procedural error "We believe that the period of uninter- from Monday, March 29 to Tues- by Akin, neither committee has yet rupted class days are detrimental to day. March 30, 2004. Preregistra- needed-including foreign language and SAT /ACT reviewed the calendar. student health and correspondingly tion runs until Friday, April 2. The delay is based on a computer standardized tests. Freshmen welcome. Both University Council and the to student's academic performance." •$30 rate requires special certification. Offer open to Rice University students and alumni only. Visit our CUC have undergraduate repre- Milazzo cited the 2002 Rice stu- system limitation that will not allow website or e-mail sjoetf5generalacademic.com for more information. Apply by 9/15/03. sentatives. dent health survey, which noted that preregistration to begin on the same date as the deadline for students to Brown College President almost all students feel stress is an www.oeneralacademic.com drop a class. Kathleen Milazzo spoke to the fac- issue of concern. \ * t A \ \ <

Wmm? THIHEKllEE RICE. THRESHE1 riKT-anCRK NEWIfcWtS* FRIDAYrnwni.jL,, SEPTEMBE. « R 5,2003 Students who turn in fake IDs won't face criminal charges ID, from Page 1 students became aware of the case. because, frankly, that becomes a any RUPD officers are using intimi- quality and looked very realistic. Under Texas law, possession of "When I came into my office this conspiracy, and it could put them in dating tactics. The IDs were pretty good," Tay- a fake ID is a misdemeanor. (See morning, I had an e-mail from a stu- the same boat as the individual that "A simple, 'Hey, do you have the lor said. "They did have holograms Box, Page 9.) dent who is studying overseas, say- we have already apprehended," Tay- ID card? Cough it up, let's go, let's on them. It was just the keen eye on get it cleared up fast,'" Taylor said. The Code of Student Conduct ing, 'How do I turn mine in?'" Taylor lor said. "But I think if they can get the part of some of our folks that "If that's intimidating, I'm sorry. You describes a violation of criminal law said. "So it's gotten pretty far-flung them quickly enough, recover them they recognized what was going on." have tne ID. We know it." as a Class I violation of the code, the pretty fast." and turn them in, then [they will be The provider of the IDs encour- most serious kind. Punishments for RUPD officers attended college handled as other students who turn RUPD is the only law enforce- aged pu' ch

THE DEGREE OF GUILT The Thresher asked students, "How serious an offense is possession of a fake ID, in your opinion?"

Joseph Bylund Jeff Dietrich Evan James Mariel Pollock Noble Novitzki Monica Trevino Andrew Corrigan Baker freshman Lovett junior Lovett freshman Lovett senior Hispanic Studies Baker junior Architecture "I think they should be "There's bigger "I'd say it's a serious "If you get caught, it's graduate student "Having a fake ID is graduate student prosecuted as they problems on campus offense, but it's also an definitely a serious "Having a fake ID is kind pretty common. I'm sure "Trying to be someone would be if they were than having our cops ironic one. You're buying offense, but I think a lot of like saying, 'I never that U. Court will know that you're not is off our little island — run down people with a fake ID in the only of people don't realize inhaled.' We all had one. what kind of appropriate probably not a good outside the hedges. fake IDs." place in Houston you the magnitude of what We all inhaled. Slap on sanctions should be met idea. People that are The worse that could don't need one." they're doing when they the wrist, I guess." out to those students." trying to in any way happen is that they'd have a fake ID." present themselves as buy alcohol when something they're not they're underage, so it are probably lacking shouldn't be signifi- something in another cantly worse than area." possession of alcohol."

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t TEXAS LAWS ON FAKE IDENTIFICATION CARDS t

Misrepresentation of Age by a Minor: Texas Alcoholic Beverage Code, section 106.07 "A minor commits an offense if he falsely states that he is 21 years of age or older or presents any document that indicates he is 21 years of age or older to a person engaging in selling or serving alcoholic beverages." [Class C Misdemeanor-up to $500 fine]

For annual checkups, birth control, emergency Fictitious License ot Certificate: Texas Transportation Code, section 521.453 contraception, pregnancy testing and testing & "[A] person under the age of 21 commits an offense if the person possesses, with the intent to represent that treatment for sexually transmitted infections. the person is 21 years of age or older, a document that is deceptively similar to a driver's license or personal identification certificate unless the document displays the statement "NOT A GOVERNMENT DOCUMENT" 1.800.230.PLAN www.pphouston.org diagonally ... on both the front and back of the document in solid red capital letters at least one-fourth inch in height." Planned Parenthood'1 "[A] document is deceptively similar if a reasonable person would assume the document was issued by DPS, P another agency of this state, another state, or the United States." oi Houston and SoulKcaK Texas, inc. [Class C Misdemeanor- up to $500 fine plus community service hours]

Use of Illegal License or Certificate: Texas Transportation Code, section 521.455 "A person commits an offense if the person intentionally or knowingly uses a driver's license or certificate obtained in violation of Section 521.451 or 521.454 to harm or defraud another." [Class A Misdemeanor- fine up to $4,000 and/or jail time up to one year]

Delivery or Manufacture of Counterfeit Instruments: Texas Transportation Code, section 521.456 coffee "A person commits an offense if the person manufactures or produces with intent to sell, distribute, or deliver a forged or counterfeit instrument that the person knows is not... [made by the authority or agency authorized to do so]." [Third Degree Felony- fine up to $10,000 and/or jail time from 2 to 10 years] ih've*

"A person commits an offense if the person possesses with the intent to sell, distribute, or deliver a forged or counterfeit instrument that is not... made [by the authority or agency authorized to do so]." [Class A Misdemeanor- fine up to $4,000 and/or jail time up to one year]

"A person commits an offense if the person possesses with the intent to use, circulate or passes a forged or counterfeit instrument that is not... made by [the authority or agency authorized to do so]." [Class C Misdemeanor- fine up to $500]

Tampering with Government Record: Texas Penal Code, section 37.10 "A person commits an offense if he:... makes, presents, or uses any record, document, or thing with knowledge of its falsity and with intent that it be taken as a genuine governmental record [or] intentionally destroys, conceals, removes, or otherwise impairs the verity, legibility, or availability of a government record [or] makes 1 §3 or presents, or uses a governmental record with knowledge of its falsity ... .]" %M [Third Degree Felony- fine up to $10,000 and/or jail time from 2 to 10 years]

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You are about to graduate from one of the Rice Alumni Major Graduate School/Employer most prestigious institutions in the world. Consider joining another as you begin Paul Laszlo, 2000 ECON, POLI McKinsey Budapest office your career in business, law, or medicine. Brian O'Malley, 2000 ECON, HIST Fulbright Scholar Ajeet Pai, 2000 ELEC University of Virginia law Hadi Tabbaa, 2000 ECON, POLI Capital One Finance Your decision to join McKinsey & Malcolm Wardlaw, 2000 MECN Stand-up comic in Los Angeles Company is a first step on a road of Anjali Wig, 2000 ECON,PSYC Harvard medical escalating opportunity. We supply an Daniel Chavez, 1999 ECON, MANA Stanford business extraordinary range of options that form Lisa Hwang, 1999 MECN University of Texas law the building blocks of your professional Michael Lindsey, 1999 CSC, MECN Harvard business life. You'll not only have a richly rewarding David Hindman, 1998 MECH Harvard business career but also a life outside of it. Irina Mitselmakher, 1998 CENG University of Chicago business Todd Konkel,1997 PHYS Campus Pipeline Adam Lasics, 1997 ELEC, ECON Kellogg With each project you take on, you'll apply Kathy Noack, 1997 BIOS UT Southwestern Medical your intellect to solving the most complex GaliAnaise, 1996 SOCI Stanford business and stimulating issues of the moment. But Daniel Hauenstein, 1996 MECH Micromuse Inc. we won't expect you to have all the Sharon Kedar, 1995 ECON Harvard business answers. We will actively encourage, Leigh Peden, 1995 ENGL, HIST Wharton support and develop you, which is why so David Kim, 1994 CENG, ECON Wharton many go on to achieve so much after Patrick Shami, 1994 ECON SonicAgent.com Andrea Danburg, 1993 ECON, GERM Harvard business starting their careers at McKinsey & Shravan Talwar, 1993 ECON Kellogg Company. Zane Williams, 1993 MECN, POLI U. of California Berkley business Kristen Skarr, 1991 MATH Tuck Learn more about McKinsey Mike Yuen, 1991 ECON Stanford business Thursday, September 25 at 7:00 p.m. Robyn Bryant, 1990 ECON Stanford business Dining Hall, Room 115 in the Jones Carol Gsell,1990 PSYC UNC business Graduate School of Management Edan Lee, 1990 MECH Stanford business David Sasina, 1989 ELEC Wharton www.mckinsey.com David Berberian, 1989 RUSS Rice business Alan Kendall, 1988 PHYS University of Texas business An equal opportunity employer Kenneth Kurtzman, 1985 ECON Stanford business

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PERILOUS FEMI-NUNS THE THRESHER'S RECOMMENDATIONS 4 FOR EVENTS AROUND Horrific events make for beautiful Magdalene Sisters' HOUSTON THROUGH Raj Wahi SEPT. 10, 2003. THRESHER STAFF Having just watched Peter rniTADC Mullan's The Magdalene Sisters, I EL U11U113 have never been more grateful that it's acceptable — in fact, inevi- table — for a movie review to be picks subjective. For me, evaluating a film like this solely on the basis of artistic merit is impossible because the mate- Saturday e rial has touched too many nerves. REMEMBER YOUR HIGH 'the magdalene SCHOOL sisters' YEARBOOK in theaters PHOTO? Rating: -kit-kit (out of five) A fresh approach to amateur photography is offered in "Eye on Third The film tells the excruciating story of a group of women who have Ward: Yates High School been sent to one of Ireland's infa- Photography Program." mous Magdalene sisterhood asylums as punishment for perceived Opening this Saturday at Hi,»- ' sexual transgressions. MM ' , : the Museum of Fine Arts,

Houston, the exhibit COURTESY MIRAMAX What can possibly Rose (Dorothy Duff) endures humiliation and cruelty at the hands of the Catholic nuns at a Magdalene asylum. showcases the work of student photographers. compensate for Far more shocking than the cru- The nuns in charge of the asy- institution when she publicly de- elty endured by the Magdalene in- Opens Saturday, Sept.6 the abuse these lum, led by the sadistic Sister Bridget nounces him; "You're not a man of mates are their parents' reasons for (Geraldine McEwan), are as unrigh- God!" Although Crispina's story The Caroline Weiss Law women suffer? sending them to the asylum in the teous as they are strict. In one scene, takes up a disproportionate amount Building, 1001 Bissonnet St. first place. Margaret (Anne-Marie the inmates are forced to stand na- of time in the film, it is consistent Duff) is there because her family ked in front of two leering nuns who with the sense of outrage Mullan $3.50 with student ID In the asylums, they are forced has disowned her for being raped by make degrading remarks about their wants to convey — even though (713) 639-7300 to endure a daily regimen of slave her cousin at a wedding (yes, you bodies. In another, Bernadette is some of the inmates eventually es- labor, beatings and humiliation at read that right). Bernadette (Nora- caught trying to escape and is sub- cape or are released, it feels like a the hands of the nuns and priests Jane Noone) is there for flirting with jected to a deliberately crude, bloody hollow victory after the dehuman- this weekend in charge. If you think of a Nazi boys in the school yard. Rose (Dor- haircut. This does not deter her from ization we have witnessed. What can concentration camp without othy Duff) has been sent there as trying again, but it does make her possibly compensate for the abuse GOTTA DANCE! executions and crematoriums punishment for having a child out of more careful and cunning. these women suffer? and replace the term wedlock, which is, admittedly, a sin Then there is Crispina (Eileen There is, thankfully, an under- "Untersturmfuehrer" with "Sister", according to Catholic teachings, but With splashes of dance, Walsh), a retarded women who is current of vitality throughout the you'll get a fairly clear idea of what does not come close to justifying forced to perform oral sex on a priest film that prevents it from turning it painting, sculpture and life was like at this asylum. what happens to her later. and is later packed off to a mental See SUFFERING. Page 13 costume comes "Trisha Brown: Dance and Art in FROM OFF THE STREETS OF CLEVELAND Dialogue 1961-2000," a mixed media presentation that follows Brown's artistic The all-American anti-hero shines in 'Splendor' evolution over the years. Runs through Sept. 14 Carly Kocurek dor is the story not only of Pekar's THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF comic book series, but also of Contemporary Arts Museum, Superman is the story of a man Pekar himself. 5216 Montrose Blvd. who flies through the air and is in- The film opens with a young vincible against everything but uncostumed Harvey Pekar trick-or- Free admission kryptonite. Spiderman is the story treating with a group of neighbor- (713) 284-8250 of an ordinary man who develops hood kids dressed as superheroes. the special skills of a mutant arach- Pekar, sick of trying to explain his nid after a laboratory mishap. lack of costume to an overly chipper Wednesday housewife strides off, tossing down his bag of candy on the way. ROMPER 'american splendor' This opening scene sets the stage STOMPER for most of the movie. We see Pekar in theaters (Paul Giamatti, who appeared in Rating: Storytelling) going through life with DiverseWorks and five (out of five) wry observation as his main defense. other downtown art For a college drop-out with an ob- sessive love of jazz, Pekar's dead- galleries present the American Splendor is the story of end job as a file clerk in a veterans' Downtown Stomp Around, a man from Cleveland who works as hospital is far from satisfying. His which features a free tour a file clerk. second marriage dissolves under his Harvey Pekar is that real-life, feet as his wife leaves his "plebeian with transportation to flesh-and-blood file clerk. He doesn't lifestyle" with a Ph.D. (funded by DiverseWorks, Vine Street have any super powers. He can't Harvey) in her hand. Studios, the O'Kane draw. He loses his voice if he talks too loud or yells too much. He's just Gallery, the Inman Gallery, a normal guy with a bad attitude The use of and Joan Wicl\ & Co. who decided real life, with its normal-scale frustrations, losses and illustration in the For more information call victories, was enough drama for a DiverseWorks at (713) comic book. movie helps hold 223-8346 or visit, Pekar began writing comic books the film together as an attempt to do something their Web site, greater than the work available at and adds to its www.diverseworks.org his dead-end job. After longtime friend Robert Crumb (who Pekar NARRATIVE power. met while digging for jazz records at This isn't high drama, but then a garage sale) again, most real drama isn't. As the COURTESY FINEUNE PICTURES agreed to illustrate story unfolds, voice-over narration Harvey Pekar (Paul Giamatti) sees the drama In the details and makes the first issue, is provided by the real Harvey Pekar comics and a film based on his mundane life as a file clerk. Pekar worked with who appears (along with other real- a series of influen- life versions of the film's charac- are filtered through Pekar's comic comes his wife), Hope Davis (About tial artists to pro- ters) in interludes throughout the hook lens. Schmidt) is amazing. The romance duce what became movie, talking about his life and his Giamatti holds up extremely well, between the two characters is a* American Splendor, work. The inclusion of so much real- especially in such close proximity to endearing as it is clumsy. an adult comic ity gives the movie something of a the character he portrays; he has Adding greatly to the strength book. documentary feel, which contrasts Pekar's self-deprecating, surly de- and cohesion of the film is the inte- The movie interestingly with the fact that the meanor down pat. And, as Joyce gration of animation, featuring art- American Splen- "characters" as seen in the movie Brabner (a fan of Harvey's who be- See DRAWINGS, Pa«e 13 THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2003

Houston HOUSTON has a lot to offer the average movie fanatic. Options abound—and the tickets are a mostly cheap option if you're looking for the perfect way to impress a hot date or something perfect to escape into alone. Below is a by Carly Kocurek and Jon Schumann summary of some of the theaters most readily accessible from campus.

only actual silver screen in Houston, Rice Media Center of indie, foreign and quality and they just recently installed new ings of cult classics and other oddi- Across from the Rice University mainstream films. The theater seats. The audience varies wildly de- ties in addition to its regular menu of Police station is extremely clean, and the pending on the film, but expect an indie, foreign and quality main- (713) 348-4853 www. crowd is nice. interesting set of arts-type people, stream films. Hie theater is beauti- ricecinema.rice. edu mostly from outside the hedges. ful, and the crowd tends to be older The bad: $5 with a Rice ID The bad: and well-behaved. Located in the lower floor of a Read ahead about what you are The bad: business complex, the Greenway The good: going to see. Films are much more Landmark River Oaks Parking can be a pain in the neck lacks the River Oaks' retro flair, You cannot get closer to the controversial than anything you'll 2009 West Gray St. on crowded weekend nights, there and you better make sure to get Rice campus than being on cam- see in a big box movie theater, and The good: are no student discounts, and the your parking ticket validated at pus. The films at the media center you might find yourself extremely The River Oaks Theatre origi- only matinee rates are for screen- the box office. And, the policy on are almost exclusively foreign, in- uncomfortable. Many of the mov- nally dates to 1939. Landmark ings before noon. discounts is the same as that at dependent or historically interest- ies that pop up at the Rice Media took over the theater in 1976, and the River Oaks, meaning there ing (although there are occasional Center are not for the faint of heart the company has maintained Landmark Greenway Theatre are no student discounts. free screenings of upcoming big or the casual watcher of movies. most of the theater's posh art 5 Greenway Plaza studio tripe). The facilities of the Rice Media Center favorites: Re- deco interior, as well as the beau- The good: landmark favorites: Flesh Gor- building, though small, are among quiem for a Dream, The Night Porter, tiful neon marquis. The Theatre As with the River Oaks, the don at midnight, A Mighty Wind the best in Houston. Heavy Metal Parking Lot, Home regularly hosts midnight screen- Greenway offers a good selection and Y Tu Mama, Tambien The Rice Media Center has the Movie.

Angelika Film Center AMC Studio 30 510 Texas Ave. 2949 Dunvale St. (713) 225-5232 (281) 319-4262 www.angelikafilmcenter.com/ $6 student rate with ID houston $6 student rate with ID The good: With 30 screens, this theater of- The good: fers a variety of mainstream and indie Located in the heart of down- titles. (It may be the only venue in town Houston, the Angelika is a great Houston showing both Bad Boys II escape from the neighborhood and Swimming Pool.) This makes it around Rice. Part of an independent the perfect destination if you are in a theater chain started in Greenwich big group, since there will probably Village, New York City, the Angelika be something everyone wants to see. is the foremost place to view ob- The theater itself is a massive struc- scure cinematic offerings. With ture, with stadium seating in each showcasings of only independent, theater. Also, with a giant parking lot, foreign and sophisticated fare, this finding a spot is never an issue. theater caters to a young, hip and The bad: cultured crowd. In some ways, it is the anti- Though not your typical main- Angelika. While many will enjoy the stream theate, it still boasts all the enormous, theme-park approach to technological capabilities and the- movie-going, others will find the ater comforts of any megaplex cin- theater's grand scale daunting and ema. Yes, that means stadium seat- garish. SUSHI SUZUKI/THRESHER ing and plush seats are the norm. Favorite AMC Studio 30 films: The bad: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Museum of Fine Arts, often there are one-time only events, Edwards' parking garage. While Secrets, The Hours Houston so you have to keep your eyes peeled Edwards Grand Palace Stadium some may for listings. favorite: Punch-Drunk lj)ve love get- Brown Auditorium, inside the MFAH favorites: Little Dieter Caroline Wiess Law Building at ting an op- Needs to Fly, Ziggy Stardust and the Aurora Picture Show portunity to the corner of Main St. and Spiders from Mars Bissonnet St. 800 Aurora St. visit down- (713) 868-2101 town, others (713) 639-7515 www .aurorapictur eshow.org may find the www.mfah.org Edwards Grand Palace commute $6 general, $5 matinee, $1 Stadium The good: overwhelm- f discount for seniors and 3839 Weslayan St. The Aurora Picture Show is a ing. We've students (713) 871-8880 microcinema located in an old known plenty of $6 student rate with ID church in the Heights neighbor- people — all The good: hood , so when you watch films there, smart, uber-cool The Museum of Fine Arts, Hous- The good: you actually sit in pews and stare at Rice students, ton offers a movie theater extremely Location, location, location. This a screen over what was once the including our- close to campus and shows art films 24-theater megaplex is the closest pulpit. Almost all of the time, noth- selves — who have on a very large screen in a comfort- major off-campus movie theater to ing you see at the Aurora can be gotten lost in down- able setting. Films range from classic Rice. It is conveniently located just found anywhere else in Houston. town trying to find Hollywood gems to modem art films on the other side of Highway 59. This The crowd tends to be small and this theater. An- to documentaries and foreign makes it (at only ten minutes away) extremely hip, but not to a degree other minus: films — where else could you find the perfect place for the spontaneous that would make anyone uncomfort- when one finally Werner Herzog documentaries show- movie outing. able. The "Mom-and-Pop" feel of the finds the theater, ing along with Ziggy Stardust and the The bad: venue is extremely charming. parking can be a Spiders from Mars? As with most of Unlike the AMC Studio 30, there The bad: nightmare. An un- Houston's more arts-driven theaters, is little variety in what the Edwards It's a bit of a drive, and when derground lot is the crowd tends to be older and ex- offers. The films you will find here picking films, you're likely taking a available, and yes, the tremely pleasant; you may find your- are from the studios, with only the gamble as to whether or not you'll theater will validate self the youngest person in the the- rare indie feature showing. (Cur- enjoy them — most are so obscure parking, but it can be a ater by a decade or more. rently, only one of Edwards' 24 there's little or no information about hassle. The bad: screens is showing an independent them readily available. Favorite Angelika films: Most movies show only a few feature, Whale Rider.) Also, make Aurora Picture Show favorite: The Good Girl, Igby Goes times before closing forever, and sure to bring $2 for parking in the screenings by A.V. geeks Down, Far from Heaven THRESHER FILE PHOTO

•d THE RICE THRESHER ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 13

CI) > Fresh albums offer living proof that music is not rancid yet Rancid eral Communications Commission's lyrics he examines complex person- "A Different Kind of Love Song" least favorite words and frequent Neil Young and alities and difficult social themes of and "Song for the Lonely" are both INDESTRUCTIBLE reversion to their trademark raw and media scrutiny, small town politics destined to become club anthems, Hellcat Records loose musical style. Crazy Horse and even the role of the Internet in but other tracks lack sparkle and GREENDALE the life of a folk-rock star. seem destined for the B-side dustbin. Warner Bros. The final bonus of Greendale is the ++* 1/2 DVD that accompanies the CD. Live (out of five) Despite the at Vicar Street, a solo acoustic concert Overall, Living album's crossover •kick of songs from Greendale, proves (out of five) Young to be better at telling stories Proof is catchy, appeal, the boys through music than the awkward de- poppy and of Rancid clearly scriptions of the tracks he offers between songs. DANCEABLE, but it haven't set their Greendale might not be the most I never thought punk could be ambitions work of his career, but it just doesn't quite beautiful. Then I heard Rancid's In- sights on is possibly one of the most personal. stand up on its destructible. Sure, the band's trade- MAINSTREAM "One of the most ambitious works — Catherine Adcock mark ska influence is pronounced of his career," reads the blurb on the own. and the singing still borders on yell- airwaves. front of Greendale, the latest album ing, but the lyrics are as thought- from Neil Young and Crazy Horse. It's provoking as ever. a quote from the Chicago Tribune. Cher Sultry and sensuous "Rain Rain" Some of the songs border on the "Out Of Control" ends with the This might be true, but you wouldn't LIVING PROOF could be a good, cool-down dance sublime. "Fall Back Down" edges on shouted call to arms, "Don't get realize it through a cursory listen. Warner Bros. number or a down tempo driving song. melodic and would make a pleasant crushed in the iron fist/Resist resist Greendale isn't meant for the ca- "When The Money's Gone" stands as addition to the soundtrack of a cute resist resist resist." sual listener. Most of the songs plod strongly as the first two tracks. It's movie about enduring childhood The album may prove that Ran- along through generally uninterest- utterly infectious and the clever lyrics friendships. The slightly jangly gui- cid can produce glossy, elegant ing chord progressions and repeti- toy with old cliches to great effect. tars sound like acoustic Cure tracks. works of music, but it further dem- tive melodies. *+1/2 Living Proof probably won't win Other tracks feature organ-in- onstrates that they aren't going to However, not all is lost on Young's (out of five) over any new fans for the queen of spired keyboard work. "Arrested In stray too far from their trademark offering. As a concept album, it's not queens, but it's a solid effort from a Shanghai" is likely one of the best sound or politics. And solid as the all about the music. This record is seasoned performer. Cher's vocals new tracks I've heard in more typical punk tracks are, I've about the people of Greendale, a are excellent, and the tracks are years — beautiful, musical and even heard that shtick before, and it's the town created by Young for the al- mostly good, but they're fairly ho- meaningful. less expected tracks that stand out bum. You should listen to Greendale Cher has passed into a realm mogenous and predictable. Despite the album's crossover most. Any Rancid fan should shell with a copy of the lyrics in one hand where she's difficult to critique. She's The music fails to break any bound- appeal, the boys of Rancid clearly out for the album and any real music and the liner notes in the other. notjustapopstar — she'san institu- aries or defy an expectations. All said haven't set their sights on main- fan should shell out just to hear By doing this, you learn more tion. Overall, Living Proof is catchy, and done, LivingProofis another Cher stream airwaves, as indicated by "Arrested In Shanghai." about Young than you do about the poppy and danceable, but it just album — nothing more, nothing less. their liberal use of some of the Fed- — Carly Kocurek people of Greendale. Through the doesn't quite stand up on its own. — Carly Kocurek Art imitates art in film DRAWINGS, from Page 11 work from past issues of American Splendor. As Joyce waits to meet Harvey for the first time, three different versions of the illustrated Harvey make appearances before the real Harvey introduces himself. Film scenes will jump immediately to the illustrated versions that appeared in Harvey's comic. The use of illustration in the movie helps hold the film together and adds to its narrative power — what, after all, would a story about comic books be without at least some of the qualities of a comic book? Additionally, the mu- • - < •' sic in the film works wonderfully, if i | 1~ sometimes blending seamlessly into ami: :/ the texture of the movie, sometimes driving home little jokes for the pop culture junkies in the audience.

• ' • ' What, after all, would a story about comic - , •• books be without at least some of the QUALITIES of a COURTESY MIRAMAX Dorothy Duffy, Nora Jane Noone and Anne-Marie Duff (left to right) star as young women suffering under the regime of the Magdalene asylum. comic book?

American Splendor, the Female sexuality punished at strict Catholic asylum film — much like American Splendor, the comic — is a stark contrast to the SUFFERING, from Page 11 Mullan must be either seething or any other religion, but at those ning the asylums, when he could idealsand storiesofthe fictitious comic into an unbearably depressing with frustration or smiling with vast who use religion to rationalize their (and should) have reserved equal book worlds most Americans visit in experience. Much of the credit amusement at the charges being lev- own cruelty to others. Indeed, as we condemnation for the families Saturday morningcartoonsand block- for this goes to Noone, who eled at lite Magdalene Sisters. Despite learn at the end of the film, there who sent the women there. The buster movies. What Pekar strives for plays the smart, resourceful its generally positive critical recep- were inmates who, after being re- latter abuse is more relevant seems not to be glory or glamour, but Bernadette with such command- tion, a number of critics have com- leased, remained devout Catholics.. to today's audiences: the instead, meaning and purpose on an ing intensity that it is a bit of a plained that the movie has an agenda, Magdalene sisterhood asylums attainable real-world scale. shock to learn that this is her and the Catholic league has wasted have all been closed (the last as He doesn't battle super villains debut performance. no time in slapping Mullan and his After all, what recently as 1996), but there are or fight injustice — he battles can- Interestingly, Mullan directed film with an "anti-Catholic" label. still families and communities all cer and fights with his wife. But, Noone to play Bernadette as a Hie first criticism is addressed socially conscious over the world (including here) both to Pekar and his audience, the mostly admirable heroine with an easily enough: After all, what so- film does not wIkt punish women given the outcome of those conflicts stands at occasional mean streak. In the cially conscious film does not have slightest pretext. least as important as the fate of movie's most intriguing and am- an agenda? Mullan's sympathies have an AGENDA? Much like Hitler's genocide, Gotham City. biguous subplot, Bernadette steals may be obvious, but they are also die Magdalene sisterhood asylums Perhaps what is most startling Crispina's valued St. Christopher valid. As for the "anti-Catholic" ac- were one example of a manifesta- and most appealing about both the pendant because, as Bernadette cusation, there is a subtle but cru- Ifthereisaflawin Ihe Magdalene tion of a social problem that has comic and the movie is the way in later claims, "she [Crispina) wasn't cial distinction to be made: Mullan's Sisters, it is that Mullan takes aim not disappeared — it has merely which these seemingly mundane suffering enough." anger is directed not at Catholicism almost exclusively at the clergy run- taken on a variety of different forms. dramas have the power to captivate an audience. . I *

THE RICE THRESHER ADVERTISEMENT FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 pffi 1 , •*«! it I ins^'fty

Ti-

campanile, 1963 join the ye^rbooK

the c«wp«wtile not your *veiyge ye*rbooK

First staff meeting Monday, September 8 10 pm in Sammy's No experienced required. None.

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The 2002-2003 Campanile will arrive in early October. Books for 2000-2001 and 2001-2002 are available for eligible students in the Campanile office, 2nd floor, Ley Student Center. yearbook@rice. edu : v-: i » « "• • ' - - Thresher Sports * Page 15 Friday, September 5, 2003 THE RICE THRESHER JL Fricb UH rumbles, Rice stumbles in Bayou Bucket blowout by Dylan Hedrick The game turned late in the first THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF quarter, when UH faced 2nd-and-31 at the Rice 47-yard line. UH wide The rain may have held off until receiver Brandon Middleton burned the football game was over, but the senior linebacker Jeff Vanover deep University of Houston's offensive for a touchdown to give UH a storm was unstoppable .Saturday 10-0 lead. night at Robertson Stadium. UH crushed the outmatched Owls 48-14 tocapture the Administaff Bayou Bucket for the second con- 'Those guys now know secutive year. Rice'sfirst drive was promising — it's not practice. There's it was highlighted by a 21-yard run by junior halfback Clint Hatfield which no way to write a hook brought the Owls into UH territory. One play later, the Owls decided or read a hook about to go big after stunning the Cou- experience gars to that point, but senior quarterback Kyle Herm made a poor — Ken Hatfield throw into coverage, and the pass Head football coach was intercepted. UH then drove WMb*': for the game's opening score — a 46-yard field goal by kicker Dustin Bell. Despite the Cougars' domi- "We had a good drive to start the nance, Rice did manage one scor- ballgame," head coach Ken Hatfield ing drive in the first half, keyed by said. "But the ball fluttered up there a fourth-down conversion by Herm on that one ball, which really hurt on 4th-and-l. us. [UH] did a good job in all as- On the next play, Herm broke free pects of the game. I thought they for a 29-yard run into UH territory, but CHRSTINE LIANG/THRESHER just played better than us. They then left temporarily with a slight Senior quarterback Kyle Herm is dragged down by a UH defender Saturday at Robertson Stadium. UH crushed Rice 4S- deserved to win." shoulder separation. Junior quarter- 14 to win the Bayou Bucket for the second consecutive season. Rice's offense looked good on back Greg Henderson took over and the next drive, highlighted by an rushed for a 22-yard touchdown to yard plunge. The game, however, scoreboard each game to be suc- the ball into the end zone. We aren't 18-yard am by sophomore halfback pull the Owls to within 10 points. was long out of reach. cessful. going to win games with just 14 Thomas Lott and a 15-yard UH pen- Rice's other scoring play came in Although the offense showed "We had big plays, but we just points." alty, but Clint Hatfield sprained his the fourth quarter. Henderson hit some signs of what Ken Hatfield couldn't get the ball into the end One bright spot for the Owls ankle on a play where he recovered freshman wide receiver John Brock expects to see during the season, zone," Henderson said. "Their de- was the kicking of freshman punter his own fumble, forcing him out of for a 17-yard completion before cap- Henderson said the team must put fense played real well, but we just Jared Scruggs. In eight punts on the game. ping the drive himself with a one- more than 14 points on the have to make adjustments and drive See FOOTBALL, Page 18 Cross country pairs up for opener

by Melissa Dominguez and wanted," Bevan said. "The ladies pro- THRESHER STAFF duced intense efforts in a competitive setting." The men's team also enjoyed the opening Although the cross country teams will not race. The Owls were led by senior Adam open their competitive seasons until the Rice Davis and sophomore Marcel Hewamudalige, Invitational Sept. 13, both ran in the MacGregor who finished in third place with a time of h Park Relays, a practice meet, Aug. 29. 40:54. Freshman Steve Magness and sopho- The meet was co-hosted by Rice and the more David Axel combined to finish in fourth University of Houston, and participants com- place in 41:08. Davis said the meet was good peted in two-person relay teams, running alter- preparation. nate laps twice each. The women's race totaled "This meet was really just a practice meet six miles, and the men raced eight miles. to see where everyone is at right now in their "The first race was surprisingly pressure- training." Davis said. "Overall, the meet went free because of the relaxed nature," freshman quite well, but we are still in the first phase of Janine Moreau said. "It was nice to have our first our training." college race experience before the real deal." Recently, the team has been so involved in Because the men and women ran at the its training that the Owls did not take their same time, sophomore Kate Gorry said it was normal day off before the meet, but head coach easy for each runner to push themselves. Jon Warren said he was satisfied with the meet. "This race was fun because it was a relay, "I am very pleased with the meet," Warren and even though it was pretty low-key, we all Oones '88) said. "We viewed this meet more ran really well," Gorry said. "My favorite part like a scrimmage or a time trial than an actual about it was racing at the same time as guys competition." because there were always people around you For both teams, the focus remains on the and people to catch up to." real meets that lie ahead. Gorry had an even better time than "It was our first week back from school MATT CRNKOVICH/THRESHER most because she and senior Tanya Wright with a hard week of training, but overall I think Sophomore setter Kristina Hoban (5) and junior middle blocker Rebecca Kalnz (1) leap at the net we all came out of it really positive," sopho- to block a spike fiom teammate Rebeca Pazo (12) in an Intrasquad scrimmage Aug. 26. combined to win the women's race with a time of 34 minutes, 12 seconds, beating sev- more Megan Sandler said. "It was good prepa- eral Baylor University pairs. Senior assis- ration for what we have to come." tant track coach in charge of women's cross The 29th Rice Invitational will be held Volleyball hosts weekend tourney country Jim Bevan said the race fulfilled his Sept. 13 on the fields near Autry Court and expectations. will include both collegiate and high school "Friday's race was exactly what we needed runners. by Scott Selinger tency goes," head coach Jon Wilson said. THRESHER STAFF In the Owls' first match Friday, UC-River- side prevailed in a close five-set match. Jun- After three tough matches in California, ior Rebecca Kainz and junior co-captains WEEKLY SPORTS SCHEDULE the volleyball team found its rhythm in its Lindsey Carter and Rebeca Pazo all recorded first home game, just in time for this double-digit kills. Sophomore Kristina Hoban, Where and when to support Rice Athletics weekend's Crowne Plaza/Rice Invitational at making her first start as setter, notched the Autry Court. only double-double in the game with 54 as- The Owls host Duquesne University, sists and 16 digs. As a team, the Owls as- Friday 9/5 7 p.m. Volleyball Crowne Plaza/Rice Invitational McNeese State University and Purdue Uni- serted their dominance at the net and Rice vs. Duquesne versity in a four-game round-robin Friday and outblocked the Highlanders 12-10. 7 p.m. Soccer vs. Texas State-San Marcos Saturday. "I think [Hoban] has been improving every Saturday 9/6 1/7 p.m. Volleyball CPRI Rice opened its season last weekend at the day," Pazo said. "She seems more excited Rice vs. McNeese St. (1 p.m.) and Purdue [7 p.m.) Ramada Invitational in San Diego, where the about being setter now." There are three Rice volleyball matches in 26 hours, Owls squared off against three top California I>ater that day, the Owls went head-to-head surely you can make it to one of them! teams — the University of California-River- with SDSU and swept the match in three sets. Fri-Sun 9/12 14 all day Men's Tennis Crowne Plaza/Rlce Invitational side, San Diego State University and the Uni- Senior Rebekah Neal looked comfortable in Saturday 9/13 7:30 a.m. Cross Country Rice Invitational (on campus) versity of California-Irvine. her new capacity as libero and contributed Sunday 9/14 11 a.m. Soccer vs. Georgia (Meyer Park, Spring) "I was pleased with the start of our season, 12 digs. Pazo also came up big with the only but we have a long way to go as far as consis- See VOLLEYBALL. Page 17 16 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2003

by Jonathan Yardley by 1-0 counts, Friday to the University she is still trying to find the team's starting forwards, with junior Janelle THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF of San Francisco and Sunday to host University of Oregon. Still, freshman Crowley and freshman Callye It's been two years since the defender Iaura Barber and sopho- Dannheim both seeing time up front. women's soccer team played its first more defender Erin Droeger were "We've got a number of people game, and the 10 juniors remaining named to the all-tournament team. that are capable of playing that posi- from that first year are determined to Barber has stepped into a start- tion." Huston said. "It's just a matter make this their breakthrough year. ing role immediately at right back, of seeing what combination of people "In our first year we were all ex- scoring just three minutes into a works best." cited, but we were the newcomers," scrimmage against Baylor Univer- Rice's best scoring chances may junior defender Caitlin Currie said. sity Aug. 24. While freshman Brandy come from set pieces that allow de- "Last year we didn't have a great Bellow started in the back line, head fenders to get forward, since Droeger season, and I think that this year we coach Chris Huston moved junior and Barber are dominant in the air, all have a lot to prove." Betsy Huete to stopper and Droeger and Currie scored twice from corner The Owls open their home to left back in Rice's 1-0 loss to the kicks in last year's WAC tournament. campaign tonight at 7 p.m. against University of Oregon Sunday. The Owls lost three strikers from Texas State University-San Marcos The five who have played on the last year's team, juniors Kristen at the Rice Track/Soccer Stadium. back line have already proven them- Gambetta and Raffi Belizaire and Rice finished last year with a selves more composed than last year's sophomore Paula Steinhauser, as 4-13-2 record, lowlighted by a sea- defenders, and defense appears to be well as junior defenders Kelly son-opening nine-game winless the strength of this year's team. Potysman and Ashley Hesseltine. streak, and a five-game midseason "I think we needed a little bit more While Potysman transferred toTCU losing streak. Currie has been the experience on our back line, so we last spring, the other four remain at steadiest player in the program's made that switch," Huston said. Rice, and Huston said their individual short history, and the all-Western Huston switched from a 4-4-2 to a decisions did affect the team's depth. Athletic Conference defender moves 4-3-3 formation, which has three "As you're building a program, midfielders and three forwards, in it's natural to have attrition," Huston STUART SINCLAIR/THRESHER from outside back to sweeper this Senior midfielder Kristen Lindsay hits a cross against Baylor Aug. 24. Lindsay season to bolster a defense that alan effort to find offense. Junior Sa- said. "It was just some people mak- assisted on both goals in Rice's 2-1 scrimmage win. lowed 47 goals in 19 games last sea- rah Yoder is Rice's all-time leading ing decisions personally for them- son. Rice's 2.5 goals against per game scorer with 29 points, but is better selves. We're still young, so we could with a torn ACL suffered late in the the middle of the season. Sophomore was worst among WAC playoff teams. «nited to midfield. Redshirt sopho- have more depth." summer. Junior Lauren Shockley, who Kelly Brolan and freshman Maria "At first, it was a little sketchy with more forward Ashley Anderson, the Huston has used 16 players in was highly recruited out of high Fadool will also see time in the our shifting, but we've done a lot of leading scorer in 2001, was expected Rice's two games, but the Owls are not school, has taken over in net. midfield. Lindsay, the team's lone se- walk-throughs, and I'm really confi- to start up front after missing last as deep as expected due in part to "I^auren's done a great job so far," nior, said she tries to lead by example. dent in our back line," Currie said. "I year with a torn ACL. Anderson injuries. Junior midfielderJackieRellas Huston said. "Just like everywhere, "[The freshmen) all come and think it's one of our best assets." sprained her ankle in Oregon, how- is currently sidelined, but the biggest we've got room for improvement, but ask questions, and they look to you," To open the season, the Owls lost ever, and is questionable for the loss was junior all-WAC goalkeeper she's done a great job. She came up Lindsay, in her third year after trans- both games in the Oregon Fall Classic TSU-San Marcos match. Huston said Amanda Garrison, out for the season with ahuge save in the Oregon game." ferring from Auburn, said. "They Yoder and Currie were also voted don't know what's going on, so you to the preseason all-WAC team, while have to play how you want them to Rice was picked to finish sixth in the play, and that's what they see." YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT conference by the league coaches. The Owls hope to improve on last Still, senior midfielder Kristen Lind- year's performance, and Currie said FOR THAT HIGH PAYING JOB say said the WAC title is Rice's goal. the addition of assistant coaches "We have some freshmen that Nicky Thrasher and former MLS TO AFFORD THE ORIGINAL SUV have stepped in and really played goalkeeper I )avid Winner has helped. well," Lindsay said. "We have a goal "We have two new assistant to win the WAC championship, and coaches, and 1 think just the inten- everybody's focused on it." sity in the practices has been a lot Iindsay's right-side crosses often better than last year," Currie said. lead to Rice's best scoring chances Huston said the biggest difference against Baylor, while junior Marisa from 2002 is the team's conditioning. Galvan will start on the left side of "I think our team really worked midfield. Impressive freshman hard this summer," Huston said. Vanessa Serrano starts in the middle, "All the girls, on their own, went partnered by Huete or Lindsay when out and did more fitness than they the Owls play a 4-4-2 formation. Junior did the summer before. It just ap- Becky MacAllister, a starter last year pears that everyone worked a bit at outside back, has moved to midfield harder, so therefore we came back and could be in the starting lineup by a bit stronger."

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BY THE Rlc« (0-1): Shockley; Serrano, Bellow, Anderson, Individual Stat* Currle, Huete, Lindsay, Barber, Yoder, Droeger, Kill* NUMBERS Qalvan. Substitutes: Crowley. Fadool, Dannhelm, Rice — Pazo 21, Carter 10 MacAlllster. SDSU — Moriarty 14, Anguelova 13 aug. 29—sept. Assists USF (1-0): Orantes; Gray, Sylva, Allen, Nelson, Rice — Pazo 41, Carter 26 Hyatt, Ott, Hunt, Davles, Schmidt, Klkuchi. Substi- SDSU — Anguelova 32, Moriarty 27, McPartland 27 tutes: Langston, Kerr, Moren Digs Rice — Neal 12, Pazo 10 Assists: USF: Scmidt. SDSU — Anguelova 11, Moriarty 8 Cautions: Currie (RU) 74'. Ejections: none. Attendance — 233 RICE 2 UC-RIVERSIDE 3 Shots 7 18 August 29,2003 — Peterson Gym, San Diego, Calif. Shots on Goal 1 7 Saves 6 1 Corner Kicks 3 9 Rice 25 30 31 27 12 Fouls 9 9 UCR 30 25 29 30 15 Offsides 2 FOOTBALL Rice UCR Attendance — 540 Final Stats Kills 68 83 RICE 14 HOUSTON 48 Errors 22 34 August 30. 2003 — Robertson Stadium Attempts 178 191 VOLLEYBALL Attack Percentage .258 .257 Rice 0 7 0 7 14 Assists 60 72 UH 10 21 10 7 48 Service Aces 3 12 STEPHEN F. AUSTIN 0 RICE 3 Digs 54 81 September 2, 2003 — Autry Court Blocks 12.0 10.0 UH — Bell 46 field goal UH — Middleton 47 pass from Kolb (Bell kick) Individual Stats UH — Kolb 1 run (Bell kick) SFA 21 24 23 '' '• Kills RU — Henderson 22 run (Skeen kick) Rice 30 30 30 Rice — Pazo 26, Kainz 17 UH — Battle 17 run (Bell kick) UCR — Parizek 31, DeKiewiet 22 UH — Kolb 1 run (Bell kick) CHRISTINE LIANG/THRESHER Final Stats SFA Rice Assists UH — Bell 44 field goal Kills 41 46 Rice — Hoban 54 Freshman punter Jared Scruggs averaged 46.5 yards on eight punts Saturday UH — Middleton 55 pass from Kolb (Bell kick) Errors 26 13 UCR — Murphy 65 UH — McCullar 3 run (Bell kick) against Houston, Including a long of 64 yards. Attempts 142 122 Digs RU — Henderson 1 run (Skeen kick) Attack Percentage .106 .270 Rice — Hoban 16, Pazo 9 Assists 41 44 UCR — Brooks 15, Thompson 14 Final Stats Rice UH Service Aces 3 5 14 22 First Downs Digs 58 63 Attendance — 63 Scruggs "kicked the dog out of ball" Rushing Yards (net) 206 194 Blocks 2.0 11.0 246 Passing Yards (net) 36 FOOTBALL, from Page 15 ping it good; and people hustling to Total Yards 242 440 individual Stats CROSS COUNTRY 270 Return yards 144 Kills the night, Scruggs averaged get down there, so I think we have Punts • Avg. 8-46.5 3-38.3 SFA — Burton 11, Mayeaux 9 46.5 yards per punt, including a something to build on for the kick- Time of Possession 27:17 32:43 MACGREGOR PARK RELAYS Rice — Carter 11. Pazo 11 long of 64 yards. ing game." Assists August 29, 2003 Individual Stats SFA — Adams 37 "We got a brand-new kicker and Another positive for Rice was the Rushing Rice — Hoban 36 Women's Results snapper on the punt team that debut action for many freshmen and Rice — Henderson 17-73, Herm 10-59, Lott 5-25, Digs Field of 26 teams, 6 miles Hatfield 3-20, Beck 3-12, Rucker 4-7, Bailey 3-5, kicked the dog out of the ball," Ken new contributors. SFA — Kirkham 14, Figgers 14 1. Gorry/Wright (Rice) 34:12 Smith 1-5 Rice — Neal 14, Sigman 12 2. Marvin/Cornelius (Baylor) 34:22 Hatfield said. "Unfortunately, he "The biggest thing here is they UH — Evans 12-72, Battle 4-47, Tillman 17-46, kicked it so far, we had a hard time got to play," Ken Hatfield said. "All Schirmer 2-31, Francis 5-26, McCullar 1-3, Bassler Attendance — 206 3. Brockman/Ortega (Baylor) 34:40 1-1, Kolb 4-(-6) 4. McCoin/Dixon (Baylor) 35:18 covering." 29 of those guys now know it's not Passing RICE 0 UC-IRVINE 3 5. Pindexter/Cerna (Unatt.) 35:19 Even positives brought out practice. There's no way to write a Rice — Henderson 5-10-1-28, Herm 1-3-1-8 8. Sandier/Armstrong (Rice) 36:49 UH — Kolb 17-22-0-246, Bassler 0-1-0-0 August 30, 2003 — Crawford Court, Irvine, Calif. negatives on this night, as Rice's book or read a book about experi- 14. Moreau/Murto (Rice) 38:45 Receiving punt and kick coverage teams ence. You just got to line up and play. Rice 26 25 31 22. Galrdner/Smith (Rice) 40:33 Rice — Brock 2-23, Battle 2-13, Rucker 1-4, struggled mightily. UH averaged We'll learn from this ballgame here, Smith l-(-4) UC-lrvine 30 30 33 UH — Marshall 8-95, Middleton 4-122, Gibson 3- Men's Results more than 18 yards per punt re- and we'll get better." 24, Evans 1-5, Shang 1-0 Final Stats Rice UCI Field of 22 teams, 8 miles turn, including a long of 57 yards. The team has the week off and 1. King/Chance (Baylor) 39:46 Attendance — 25,355 Kills 52 63 The Cougars also had kick returns will use it to review game film and Errors 16 16 2. Price/Morrow (Baylor) 40:08 of 73 and 45 yards. practice before its Sept. 13 game at Attempts 128 144 3. Davis/Hewamudallge (Rice) 40:54 Attack Percentage .281 .326 4. Magness/Axel (Rice) 41:08 'The big plays on the kicking Duke University in Durham, N.C. 46 58 Assists 5. Olage/Leon (Unatt.) 41:10 game really hurt our field position," "We made some mistakes — I Service Aces 3 2 15. Solares/Redman (Rice) 43:54 OREGON 1-0 RICE Digs 55 49 Ken Hatfield said. "But I saw some know that — but we got to go back 18. Davis/Pantilat (Rice) 45:07 Nicole Garbin 35' Blocks 4.0 7.0 good things in it, too. I saw a kicker and see what we can do," Ken kicking it good; I sawa snapper snap- Hatfield said. August 31, 2003 — Pape Field, Eugene, Ore. Individual Stats Kills Oregon (2-0): Shockley; Currie, Huete, Barber, UCI — Pazo 23 Droeger; Serrano, Lindsay, Galvan; Anderson, Rice — Wing 21, Cash 14 Dannheim, Yoder. Substitutes: Brolan, Crowley, Assists Fadool, Mf cAllister. UCI — Hoban 44 Rice — Hain 51 Rice (0-2): Lainez; Higa, Wone, Mayer. Mintz, French. Digs Gamble, Richardson, Garbin, Werdell, Ashcraft. Sub UCI — Neal 18, Scott 15 stitutes: Marrer, DeMonte, Valadez, Grushkin, Rice — Hain 14, Wing 11 Abrahamson, Baird, Engelhardt. Attendance — 285 Assists: Oregon: Valadez. Cautions: French (Ore.) 33'. RICE 3 SAN DIEGO STATE 0 Ejections: none. August 29, 2003 — Peterson Gym, San Diego. Ore. Rice Shots 14 11 Rice 30 30 30 Shots on Goal 6 SDSU 25 26 28 Saves 6 . Corner Kicks 7 Final Stats Rice SDSU : Fouls 11 Kills 55 54 Offsides Errors 8 21 medium 1-topping 119 140 Attendance — 483 Attempts Attack Percentage .395 .236 Assists 51 49 RICE 0-1 SAN FRAN. Service Aces 4 2 pizza 6 2 cans of Coke Ashley Davies 37' Digs 53 45 $7.3 5 Blocks 10.0 5.5 no coupon required August 29, 2003 — Pape Field, Eugene. Ore. Deep dish may be extra t>(us tax

Large 1-toppping $8.30 pizza 6 3 cans of Coke no coupon required t>(us tax Deep dish may be extra If all In The Village (713) 523-7770 Football Mania! 5733 Kirby Dr. Watch all the Pro & College Games Open 11 am to 2 am Mon. - Sun. Starting at noon every Saturday & Monday Night Football & Steaks Sunday throughout the football season, Great Steaks, grilled to perfection, Roeders Pub will be showing the games baked potato and salad...$12 00 you want to watch Join us for a cold 42" Plasma & Flat Screen TV's • Patio pint while following your favorite teams Darts • Golden Tee • TournaMaxx Ule also serue: • across the country via our pro and college Happy Hour 3-7 Mon-Fri football subscriptions. Get The Door. ^ jjreadsticks Cheesy Bread ? Roeders Pub roederspub com 3116 S. Shepherd @ W. Alabama It's Domino's. . „ . . „. .... # 713/524-4994 Parking Lot Entrance On Alabama Moi-Frl: 3pm-2am • Setft Sea : KM*-2M Coca-Cola Buffalo Wings • THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5,2003 19

with the Houston Area Career Fair today at Autry Court. CALENDAR Frii)AY /T\The sept. 5 -sept sep.C 12 Princeton Rice Media Center Review Check yourself before you The Rice Media Center is Beaa Scons. Better Schools FRIDAY wreck yourself holding a screening of the film The Baptist Student Ministry is Divine Intervention tonight at hosting a Reality Check free 8 p.m. Winner of the Jury Prize Add deadline lunch to discuss real life issues. at Cannes, Elia Suleiman's film GRE - GMAT - LSAT Today is the deadline for If you're interested, stop by the approaches the horror of adding courses without a fee Farnsworth Pavilion in the Rice Palestine with a darkly sardonic MCAT - USMLE for all undergraduates. Turn Memorial Center at noon. sense of humor. Admission for your signed add/drop form in students is $5. For more Classes Starting Soon! at the Registrar's Office by information, visit http:// 5 p.m. ricecinema.rice.edu. THURSDAY Small class sizes AS'; Resume the mania ±ir. HOW TO SUBMIT The third day of Resumania, Memorial services Expert, enthusiastic instructors hosted by the Career Services if • In remembrance of September CALENDAR ITEMS Center, takes place today from 11, the Rice Chorale, led by Free extra help with your instructor 3 to 5 p.m. in the foyer in front Thomas Jaber, will perform of the Grand Hall in the Rice Brahms' Requiemin Alice Pratt Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m. Guaranteed satisfaction Memorial Center. Brown Hall at 8 a.m. The SA prior to Friday publication. and the GSA will distribute Submission methods: Particle man, particle man, black ribbons for those wishing Fax: (713) 348-5238 Space is limited. Call now to enroll. doing the things a particle can to commemorate the day. The E-mail: [email protected] The Rice Media Center is Rice Chapel will hold services Campus Mail: Calendar www.PrincetonReview.com I 800-2Review holding a showing of the film organized and led by the Editor, Thresher, MS-524 Campus ministers and will be Gigantic: A Tale of Two Johns Calendar submission forms are The Johns in question are open for individual prayer and meditation. available on the Thresheroffice Flansburgh and Linnell, of the door. indie pop band They Might Be Career Services Giants, and the film includes Submissions are printed on a new concert footage and The Career Services Center space-available basis. animation by Tony Millionaire. continues its week of events Screenings will be held tonight, tomorrow and Sunday at 8 p.m., and admission for students is $5. For more information, visit http://ricecinema.rice.edu.

The only way Will Rice guys can ever get nailed Come out to the Will Rice Commons tonight from 9 p.m. to 1'2 a.m. for an intense game of dodgeball.

SATURDAY

Club soccer The oh-so-lovely Rice Women's V'-Vfe \ Club Soccer team takes on its f biggest rival, Texas A&M, in its r first game ol the season. Come on out to the club soccer field 4 (next to the rugby field) at 1 p.m. to support them.

"Professor, what's another name for pirate treasure?" "Why, I think it's booty!" Ix)vett College is holding its re • Getcheroxoff Party tonight from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m.

MONDAY

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THE RICE THRESHER BACKPAGE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003 — HAVE TO DO

: ^ -3 -Martel 0-Week Hey freshmen! • 1. Jump in Gillis' pool. • 13. Steal Officer 220's golf cart, wellness presentation • 2. Steam tunnel, get caught, yell speed to RUPD, write ticket. Yell "Don't marry, Daniel, j Yeah, you. We know your "Team Wiess!" and run like hell. "Team Wiess!" and run like hell. impregnate! It's the Air Force way!" advisers fed you a load of • 3. Climb Willy's statue. (Remember • 14. Dye your body your college's J •. , color for Willy Week - you know -Jones sophomore crap during 0-Week, so there is bird crap on it.) you're ugly anyway (hot "Your mother is aw we just wanted to set the • 4. Run Baker 13. freshmen exempted). -Jones sophomore to Jones sophomore's mother record straight. The • 4a. Run Baker 13 without shaving 15. Make out with the Backpage following items should cream. editor(s). "I don't have any classes tomorrow All I have is Orgo." ALL be checked off before • 5. Climb 45. • Former -Blissfully ignorant you graduate. And to all • 6. Scale 90. • Current Jones freshman Send applications WITH PHOTO you upperclassmen, we • 7. Hedge jump. "Making out in the upper deck to [email protected]. of the stadium: that's my think you can learn a • 7a. Hedge jump successfully (in 16. Screw your roommate. favorite thing to do at football the correct direction, without thing or two from this list, • Blind Date games." breaking any bones). -Anonymous Thresher too, so don't dismiss it • Literally sports editor right away. All you need • 8. Get drunk with Gillis. • 17. "Inadvertently" set off a fire 'There is no such thing as to do is cut out this list, • 9. Talk with Camacho. Mention alarm. Yell "Team Wiess!" and clean sex. And if there is, put it on your wall, and how attractive his wife is. run like hell. you're doing it wrong." Jones sophomore y < check off each item as you • 10. Urinate on Martel College, yell X ' ' \ •" / "Team Wiess!" and run like hell. Additionally... complete it. (One of the Think these are lame? Things NOT to do before Think Jones blows goat? items has already been • 11. Get drunk and ram light saber Well, can you do any better? parking gates with golf cart. you graduate Can you, punk? checked off for you.) Then send us an e-mail at • 12. Pose as a prospy to get free beer. Kl 1. Join the MOB. [email protected]. Federal "pound him in the classifieds" prison

HOUSING SEEKING SAVVY, ORGANIZED and WANTED: BABYSITTER for two boys, responsible individual to handle the ages 8 and 6. Every Thursday evening CLASSIFIED ADS MEDICAL CENTER AREA (3300 box office register for the Rice Film from 7-9:30. Bellaire, inside the 610 Bellefontaine at Buffalo Speedway) 2- Rates are as follows: Series. Must commit to working at loop. Call (713) 838-1860. The Rice Thresher 2 1/2 townhouse to share. Private least one shift per week. $6 per hour 1-35 words: $15 Attn: Classifieds bath. Walk-in closet. Gated commu- to start. Free movies! Work-study pre- TUTORS WANTED — Winn tutoring 36-70 words: $30 6100 Main St., MS-524 nity. Subdivision pool. Private garage. ferred. Contact [email protected] or is hiring tutors for all middle/high 71-105 words: $45 2nd Floor Ley Student Center Female nonsmoker. $650 per month (713) 348-3138 (Charles Dove). school subjects. Earn $17-19 per hour. Houston, TX 77005-1892 plus half of electricity. (713) 817-5408. Transportation required. Please con- Payment, by cash, check or EARN EXTRA MONEY. Type in your tact Joy at (512) 922-3848 or e-mail credit card, must accompany Phone: (713) 348-3967 LARGE TWO-STORY MIDTOWN own room — need typists to type [email protected]. your ad. Fax: (713) 348-5238 house for lease. Spacious 3-4 bed- manuscript and corrections. Call 2 Notes & Notices submissions are The Thresher reserves the right to room, 1 1/2 bath. Lots of parking. (713) 927-5267. Also need native TUTORS WANTED. LEARNING , a pri- published according to space refuse any advertising for any Blocks from new train station. Easy French tutor for conversational vate tutorial service, needs part-time tu- availability. reason and does not take lease terms. $1,250 per month. James French. $15-20 sessions at your con tors in the following subjects: mathemat- responsibility for the factual at (713) 225-2911 or, for pictures, venience. Call (713) 927-5267. ics, biology, chemistry, physics, French, Deadline is Monday at 5 p.m. content of any ad. jpgrantham@pilawyer. org. Spanish, English and finance. Flexible prior to Friday publication. PART-TIME FILE CLERK. Set up and hours. Excellent pay. No house calls. MEDICAL CENTER GATED condo, maintain client files, databases. Com- Office close to campus. (713) 528-7085. minutes from Rice University. Italian puter and word processing skills are tile floor throughout, new A/C, on necessary: WordPerfect, Word, Ac- BARTENDER TRAINEES NEEDED. bus line, water and basic cable. One- cess, Outlook. Send resume: e-mail $250 a day potential. Local positions. bed, one-bath, 800 square feet, $650. djbarfield@flash. net, fax (713) 871-1266. (800) 293-3985 ext. 155. Please call Paris at (832) 661-5956. HELP WANTED — NURTURING : YOUR AD HERE GRAD STUDENTS — bike to Rice! student to be with 11-year-old girl MISCELLANEOUS 1301 Richmond. One-bedroom apt. with mornings and late afternoons on FULL SIZE MATTRESS set. Brand hardwoods, C/A, off-street parking and weekdays. Some driving may be re- new, includes frame. $150. Can de- on-site laundry. $555 plus some utili- quired. SW Houston area. Call to liver. (281) 814-7090. ties with lease and deposit. No dogs, discuss: (281) 733-1300. please. Andover: (713) 524-3344. $3,500 PAID: EGG DONORS. SAT > JOB LOCATION: DOWNTOWN The- 1100/ACT > 24/GPA> 3.0/ages 19029. GRAD STUDENTS — bike to Rice! ater District. Houston Grand Opera is Nonsmokers. All races needed, espe- 1301 Richmond. Two-bedroom apt. with looking for qualified applicants for its cially Asian. Must have transportation. hardwoods, C/A off-street parking and inbound customer service call center. Inquire at [email protected]. on-site laundry. $665 plus some utili- Position requires strong communica- £: £'•'' • ties with lease and deposit. No dogs, tion skills, computer knowledge and GRAND OPENING: PSYCHIC Angela ' , '/f V please. Andover: (713) 524-3344. the ability to multi-task. Call (713) 546- — Palm, tarot card, crystal and aroma 0288 or fax resume to (713) 236-8121, therapy readings. Answers all ques- GRAD STUDENTS—bike to Rice! 1414 attn: CCC Manager. tions in life: love, relationship, career, Castle Ct. One-bedroom apartment with money. Half price with ad. (713) 349- hardwoods, C/A off-street parking and SITTER NEEDED PART-TIME 2-3 af- 0417.5708Greenbriar across from Rice on-site laundry. $610 plus some utilities ternoons per week to pick up our daugh- University. with lease and deposit. No dogs, please. ters (9th and 6th grade) from school (s), • mesmm mm mm mm Andover: (713) 524-3344. bring home and assist with homework OWLS VS. HAWAII at Aloha Stadium until we return from work (6-8 p.m.). Sept. 27. Studio accommodations for Additional possible weekend sitting. 2, just 3 blocks from beautiful Kailua ,y HELP WANTED • wmw $ mm® YOU Braeswood area about 10 minutes from Beach. $100 per night plus tax. In- AFTER-SCHOOLCI HI J )C ARE. Work- campus. Must have own car. $8 per hour cludes 2 game tickets with 5 night ing parents in the Southgate area next to start. Call Teresa: (713.) 339-7300 ore- minimum stav. Tropical Serenity: to Rice looking for a student to meet mail [email protected]. (808) 262-0214. S wm m mewmmmmm two children (girls ages 11 and 14) at I home 3:30-6:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri. to help MARY POPPINS, JR. WANTED to M4MUSA.COM. HOUSTON'S GAY I with homework, a few errands and start care for girls ages 7 and 8, three after- college dating Web site. IM chat dinner. References required. No holi- noons a week. Must have car to pick and 1,000's of picture ads. America's J E-mail [email protected] for more information. days unless desired. $10 per hour. Call up at 2:45 at school in Bellaire. $10 per largest gay dating service. Enter Heather at (713) 751-3057. hour. Call Susan: (713) 661-3990. code UR55.