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gift guide from gags to the holiday gadgets a cliché heartwarmer entertaining u newspaper

free weekly guide to entertainment and more | december 7-13, 2006 | www.eujacksonville.com 2 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper table of contents feature Christmas - A Time For Giving...... PAGE 14 Winter Camps...... PAGE 15 The Nutcrackers...... PAGE 15 Electronic/Gadget Gift Guide...... PAGES 17-18 Gag Gifts...... PAGE 19-20 Internet Gifts...... PAGE 19 movies The Holiday (movie review)...... PAGE 6 Movies In Theatres This Week...... PAGES 6-10 Seen, Heard, Noted & Quoted...... PAGE 7 Unaccompanied Minors (movie review)...... PAGE 8 Blood Diamond (movie review)...... PAGE 9 ’s : Rise Of Taj...... PAGE 10 at home Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (DVD review)...... PAGE 12 The Chronicles Of Narnia (DVD review)...... PAGE 12 Sleeper Cell (TV Review)...... PAGE 13 food Apron’s Cooking School...... PAGE 16 music Los Lobos (Freebird Live)...... PAGE 21 Music Calendar...... PAGES 22-26 Dark Romantics (interview)...... PAGE 22 Don Miggs (interview)...... PAGE 23 Tractenburg Family Slideshow (interview)...... PAGE 24 Jimbo Mathus (interview)...... PAGE 25 George Carlin (FCCJ Artist Series)...... PAGE 26 arts / theatre / on stage Elements (Jane Gray Gallery)...... PAGE 20 Christmas Carole ()...... PAGE 27 A Tuna Christmas (PBTS)...... PAGE 28 Arts Calendar...... PAGES 27-28 Greetings (First Coast Theatre)...... PAGE 29 columns and stuff The Jock...... PAGE 29

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 3 A living legend, Tony Bennett, performs at the florida thisweek theatre on tuesday. thursday DECember 7 the draft Circle Jerks

Circle Jerks Punk Rock Legends the Circle Jerks return along with Lower Class Chippendales Yes girls, you read it right, the famous Brats, Quick Sixx, Wounded Knee. male dance revue is coming to town. Fuel Coffeehouse – 7 pm Billed as the “Ultimate girls night $15.00 advance out,” this might be just the ticket for all that holiday stress you’ve been The Community Nutcracker Crystal Gayle: A Country Christmas building up. Enter the magical world of childlike imagination at one of One of America’s best loved and timeless entertainers, Crystal Gayle Plush – 7 pm, $20 Info: 743-1845 gets everyone in the holiday spirit with A Country Christmas, which Jacksonville’s greatest holiday traditions. See some of the areas featuring Christmas classics laced with her well- known hits. finest dancers perform the most popular ballet of the year. The UNF Fine Arts Center – 7:30 pm Dark Romantics, Shangrala, House of Fools, , Fri. - 8 pm, Sat. 2 pm & 8 pm Info: 620.1921 or www.unf.edu/fineartscenter Paulsen, and Mi Capitan Info: 355-2787 The name Dark Romantics fits their music is a strange way. december 8 - 10 The tone of the music is somewhat upbeat, but it has the creepy shadows of early goth and progressive music from the First Coast Nutcracker eighties. Read interview on page 22. The First Coast Nutcracker will enchant the whole family, friday december 8 Jack Rabbits Info: 398-7496 showcasing internationally renowned principal dancers, our area’s finest young dance corps, and Tchaikovsky’s best-loved melodies perfomed by the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra. Art Show - Small Packages december 8 - 9 Times Union Center, Fri.-8 pm; Sat.-2 pm & 8 pm; Sun.-2 pm. See the work of twelve local artists. Works included in the exhibition Info: 354-5547 are acrylic and mixed media paintings on canvas, paper, and wood panel by Kelly Eason, Brittni Wood, Catherine Bauer, Jason Wright, JJ Grey of Mofro Read more about all the Nutcracker performances on page 15. Amie Murray, Cecilia Woolfolk, Megan Cosby, Molly Riefler, Bryan JJ Grey (lead singer from MOFRO) will do two seated shows Eason, Jimmy Pines, Erica Pogue, and Ali Fuderer. Musical guest, at Cafe 11 in St. Augustine at 8:30 pm but both are SOLD Shawn Lightfoot, will perform outside in the garden and holiday OUT (Info: 469-9311). However, MOFRO will be performing drinks and treats will be served. Dec. 29-31 at Freebird Live but don’t wait too long to get your Block 27 Gallery of Riverside, 2766 Park Street, behind Park Street tickets. saturday DEC ember 9 Antiques. 6-10pm Johnny O’Neal legend Johnny O’Neal played the part of legendary “Breakfast with Santa” at the Museum of Yuletide Swing Science & History The St. Johns River City Band will be performing their annual big pianist Art Tatum in the 2004 Academy Award Nominated film Santa and his elves will serve a continental breakfast for their band holiday show. “Ray”. Director Taylor Hackford wanted a great pianist for this guests, and for only $3 an elf will take a picture of your child sitting Time Union Center – 7:30 pm part, since his playing was included in the film. Join Brenda on Santa’s lap. Breakfast sessions will each last about 45 minutes. Info: 355-4700 Frinks & Associates for @ the Beaches. Johnny O’neal is the first part of this Jazz Series and will sooth, and groove, Reservations are required. Call 396-MOSH, ext. 230. your soul. MOSH - 8:30, 9:30 & 10:30 a.m. Holiday Spectacular Featuring the Ritz Voices Tickets: $22 in advance, $25 @ the door Ritz Theatre & LaVilla Museum - 7:30 p.m. Atlantic Theatres, 8 pm Annual Tuba Christmas Info: 632.5555 Info: 249.PLAY (7529) or [email protected] More than 100 tubas perform live in front of the Christmas Tree at the - 2 pm

4 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper Johnny Winter Johnny has always been one of the most respected singers and guitar players in rock and the clear link between British blues-rock and American Southern rock (a the Allman Brothers and .) Freebird Live - $20 Info: 246-BIRD (2473) The Draft With their debut , In A Million Pieces, Gainesville band, The Draft have composed 12 powerful tracks that take the former members of legendary post-hardcore outfit Hot Water Music into brave new territory. the draft Also performing Fifth Hour Hero and The New Ghost. Fuel Coffeehouse 425-FUEL Oteil and the Peacemakers A bass master of jam band-style funk, rock, blues, jazz, and everything in between. Jack Rabbits Info: 398-7496 sunday DecEMBER 10 Bouncing Souls, Street Dogs, Whole Wheat Bread The Bouncing Souls are one of the best selling and longest lived of the punk bands from New Jersey. Whole Wheat Bread is a young urban punk band from right here in Jacksonville. The band just released their debut album “Minority Rules.” Fuel Coffeehouse Info: 425-FUEL (3835) Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Indianapolis Colts Alltell Stadium at 1:00pm Katt Williams - Live Comedy Show Comedian and rapper Katt Williams will be performing in Jacksonville to a full house fresh off of his appearance on the Howard Stern show on Nov. 30. He missed his first scheduled appearance due to being arrested at the Los Angeles International Airport for allegedly carrying a stolen, concealed weapon. Florida Theatre - 8 pm Info: 355-2787

Katt Williams monday december 11 George Carlin This is not a show for the faint of heart or anyone who is easily offended by controversial topics. Read more on page 21. Times-Union Center, Moran Theater - 7:30 p.m. 632-3373 or www.artistseries.fccj.org. tuesday december 12 Tony Bennett Tony Bennett turns 80 this year and amidst the tributes, honors and accolades, the world’s most down- to-earth living legend is celebrating this milestone the same way he essentially lives his life: enjoying each moment to the fullest. At press time there were still a few tickets still available. Price: $55.00 - 125.00 Florida Theatre – 8 pm Info: 355-2787

wednesday december 13 Peter White Christmas Versatile guitarist Peter White can make the room rock and take listeners on a tour that stops at acoustic, pop, Spanish, contemporary jazz, and R&B. Teaming up with Peter for this smooth jazz Christmas show are trumpeter Rick Braun and jazz saxophonist Mindi Abair. Florida Theatre – 8 pm Info: 355-2787 BT with Thomas Dolby BT is a pioneer and innovator of modern electronic music, who is currently pushing the boundaries with This Binary Universe, a DTS release, creating unique soundscapes seamlessly blended with digital art visuals. Thomas Dolby is a living legend and the man responsible for musical ringtones. An array of audio and visual wizardry as these two innovators perform live, accompanied by high definition film presentations, with digital sound mixed in 5.1 live on-stage. Plush – 8 pm Price: $18.50

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 5 Amanda meets Iris’ brother Graham, played movies opening this week by Jude Law, and he is as much a gentlemen as the nobility of old England. He plays the stereotypical British fantasy man: noble, dignified, and charming. APOCALYPTO Forget The Passion of The Christ, So the fact that he is a father of two daughters just this is Mel Gibson’s Braveheart-like portrayal of the gives him extra domestic qualities, and enables the downfall of the Mayan kingdom. During the Mayan’s film to use cute young British girls to deliver cute, decline, the ruthless king decided that to make things kids-say-the-darndest-things lines that apparently better and appease the gods, he would engage in massive human sacrifices. Jaguar Paw (Rudy make everyone else in a theater laugh. Confused and Youngblood) is a young man chosen for sacrifice, but anxious to escape another relationship, Amanda tries he has other ideas and flees the kingdom to organize to resist him, but he is Jude Law. Oh yeah, and he’s a rebel army to defeat the demented king. Bloody a widower, which means he’s lonely and not a villain violence ensues. Rated R that was left by his last love. He was with her until death did they part. BLOOD DIAMOND A large priceless diamond Meanwhile, Iris finds an endearing elderly man becomes the center of a struggle between a farmer, a wandering through the LA neighborhood where she smuggler, and a syndicate of businessmen trying to is staying. Her character flaw is that she is too nice, lay their hands on it. Leonardo DiCaprio co-stars with but that very flaw is the thing that compelled her to Daimon Hounsou with Jennifer Connelly in this action help the elderly man. As it happens all of the time in adventure story. Rated R Hollywood, when you help an elderly man wandering around an affluent neighborhood, he is an academy THE HOLIDAY Two women, played by Cameron award-winning writer. Because he is old, it is delight- Diaz and Kate Winslet, who suffer from romantic ful when he acts flirty (apparently not “gross,” which difficulties, swap homes in each other’s countries. is how I thought of it) and he is able, like the young There, each woman meets the man of their dreams. British girls, to deliver lines that are neither funny Co-starring Jude Law and Jack Black as the women’s nor well-crafted, and still get a laugh. Out of every- love interests. Typical holiday fare Rated PG-13 one else in the theater, not me. The only laugh I got throughout this picture was when I would look over UNACCOMPANIED MINORS A gaggle of at Brenton, who had come with me to endure this unaccompanied minors are snowed in at Chicago’s torture, and see that he was as confused and horri- Airport during the holiday season. To amuse fied by this film as I was. themselves, they create a makeshift holiday. So Iris meets film Miles, played by Rated PG a very restrained and sterile Jack Black, and she too falls in love. The rest of the film is heartwarming and now playing delightful. If you are the type of person that usually enjoys movies described as “cute” and “heartwarm- BABEL Written and directed by 21 Grams’ Alejandro ing” and “delightful” than perhaps this film is perfect Gonzalez Inarritu, the three stories are set in Morocco, for you. Tunisia, Mexico, and Japan. A tragedy befalls a I cringe at people that refer to films like this as married couple portrayed by Brad Pitt and Cate “chick flicks” because I have more respect for the Blanchett, which sets off a chain of mysterious events general intelligence of females than to assume any as Pitt’s character searches for answers. Rated R drivel of a plot wrapped loosely around a love story is appealing to most women. I would think that it BOBBY Touted as a possible Oscar contender, the is demeaning to present a wish-fulfillment plot that scenario chronicles the assassination of U.S. Senator Robert F. Kennedy on June 16, 1968. The film focuses says the most important thing in a woman’s life is on the 22 people who were at the Ambassador Hotel finding a man. where Kennedy was killed. The story shows how the Nancy Meyers, the writer and director of The assassination affected these people after the tragedy. Holiday is working hard at defining her niche by Rated R manufacturing these demeaning “chick flicks” that utilize cheap plot ploys and adorable leading men to BORAT Shot as a mockumentary, Sacha Baron get women into the theaters, where her hope is, men the holiday will follow. Her prior films are What Women Want Cohen assumes the character of a journalist from Kazakhstan who is dispatched to the United states to and Something’s Gotta Give. Both of these films report on the greatest country in the world. Halfway made a subtle suggestion that there was a need for into his travels, Borat becomes more interested in movie review real female characters in popular cinema, but she locating and marrying Pamela Anderson. He even does blew that agenda off with The Holiday, which has no interviews in character–a ploy that real journalists by jon bosworth [email protected] strong female characters. hate. Rated R Something’s Gotta Give was probably her most Grade: C- Rated PG-13 138 min. enjoyable film, as it had quirky Jack Nicholson and I was very possibly the worst person to review cause he’s so old, they seem funny. it revived the career of the talented and beautiful this film. I tried to pawn this duty off on family and The male romantic lead is an adorable father of two Diane Keaton. Every other film she has made has friends, as a sort of Christmas gift. No one I know daughters…and a widower. hinged on one or two silly plot ploys (in The Holiday saw a pass to the preview of this film as a gift, they The female romantic lead is too nice to everyone, but Amanda is unable to cry) and loosely strung together saw through my schemes and thought of it as a it pays off in the end. scenes that make people traditionally considered burden I was passing along. That still doesn’t mean Cameron Diaz plays Amanda, a wealthy film “cute” (Keanu Reeves, Mel Gibson, and now Jude you won’t like this movie, I just can’t stand movies editor from Los Angeles, who finds out that her Law) into the dream mate, to insure that the “chicks” that can be described as “cute” or “feel-good.” boyfriend has been unfaithful. Across the globe, Kate come to the theater. I know, I know. Jack Black is so funny (and Winslet, as Iris, is a too-nice British journalist that is If you are looking for an interesting and en- even endearing when outside of his Tenacious D in love with a man that is about to marry someone tertaining Christmas movie, you may be at a loss. character) and Jude Law is so talented, and Kate else. Santa Clause 3 is certain to be an even worse Winslet is an Oscar winner that makes great film These two characters meet online and decide movie, Deck the Halls looks like a silly take on Na- choices, and Cameron Diaz is so cute, so how could to trade homes for the Christmas season, as they are tional Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, and The Nativ- CASINO ROYALE There’s a new Bond in town, and it be all bad? When you bring this powerhouse cast equally frustrated with their own lives. So the very ity may be a little heavy-handed for a date night. If I he’s rough, tough, and macho–Daniel Craig. Yes, to a movie attempting smart and heartwarming, it is L.A. Amanda goes to the snowy English countryside, were you, I would just rent A Christmas Story, turn filmmaker Martin Campbell began this new Bond guaranteed to be good, right? Not right. You could and the humble British Iris reports to Sunny Los the air-conditioner on, and cuddle under a blanket on picture like the last 20 movies had never been made. bring the best actors in the business to a bad script Angeles for a couple of weeks over the Christmas the couch in front of a fire. It’ll be just like they have He set out to reinvent the franchise. It worked! Craig and it is still just as bad. holiday. What could possibly happen to these forlorn up North: winter with a good holiday movie to cuddle Here are some trite “feel-good” movie setups: to, because the snow makes it too much of a pain to (continued on pg 7) women? Well of course they fall in love with new The quirky old man that delivers bad lines, but be- men. get to the theater anyway.

6 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper seen. heard. noted. and quoted.

Bambino Lingo Denise Richards told E! News’ Jason Kennedy that she would “absolutely” like to have children with boyfriend Richie Sambora. “I would be blessed to have children with Richie. He’s a phenom- enal dad,” Richards said Monday at the Billboard Music Awards. Richie promptly burst out in an impromptu version of Debbie Boone’s She’s Having My Baby! That is, if the relationship lasts long enough. Sick Call Farrah Fawcett completed several weeks of treatment for anal cancer, her publicist said Tuesday. The actress was said to be doing well and planned to share tips from her recovery with fellow cancer sufferers on her official Website.

The Miracle of Prerecording Jessica Simpson tearfully fled the stage at Sunday’s Kennedy Center Honors after flubbing her perfor- mance of Dolly Parton’s “9 to 5” in a tribute to the country icon. Unfortunately for those of you who weren’t there, Simpson requested and was granted a do-over of the number, which is the version slated to air when the awards are broadcast on CBS. Shacking Up is More Fun Jenny McCarthy told Extra that she and Jim Carrey have no plans to wed anytime soon. “We’re happy with the way things are,” McCarthy said. The duo recently traveled to Italy together to attend the wed- ding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Scary Spice Paternity Eddie Murphy questioned whether he is the father of the baby his ex-girlfriend Melanie Brown (a.k.a. Scary Spice) is carrying. “I don’t know whose child that is, until it comes out and has a blood test,” Murphy said in an interview. Be careful, Eddie, accidents cause people. Kung Fued by Table Jackie Chan re-injured his chest after being hit with a table while filming Rush Hour 3, he said in a Nov. 27 posting to his Website. The actor was previously injured in March, when a stuntman kicked him the wrong way while filming Rob-B-Hood. Chan should consider hiring a stunt double. Blige Wins Big at Billboard Bash Mary J. Blige scored a leading nine Billboard Music Awards Monday night, including R&B/Hip-Hop Artist of the Year. Carrie Underwood and rapper T.I. bagged five apiece, while 17-year-old Chris Brown won three, including the evening’s top honor, Artist of the Year. Convenient Amnesia Lane Garrison’s attorney, Harland Braun, told the Los Angeles Times that his client “doesn’t remember anything about the accident” that killed 17-year-old Beverly Hills High School student Vahagn Setian and injured two 15-year-old girls Saturday night. The Prison Break star has not been arrested and detectives are reportedly awaiting the results of his blood tests. Gwyn’s Spin Doctor Extracts Shoe from Her Mouth Again Gwyneth Paltrow denied remarks attributed to her by a Portuguese newspaper, which quoted her as saying: “The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.” Paltrow told People magazine that she did not make the statement and insists she is “so lucky” and “so proud” to be an American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dogg Dogged by Law Snoop Dogg’s arraignment on a felony weapon charge was delayed until January. The charge stems from a September incident in which a 21-inch collapsible baton was found in the rapper’s luggage when he tried to board a flight. Still ahead, Snoop is due to appear in court on Dec. 12 and Jan. 11 on charges stemming from separate incidents. Snoop is on an arrest binge. He was also arrested on drug posses- sion charges after a recent appearance on Jay Leno, who quipped in his monologue, “I’m surprised there were any drugs left for the police to find after the show.”

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 7 is the best Bond yet–chiseled, powerful, and sexy. He kills without hesitation, teams with the beautiful Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) and wears today’s fashions. In this scenario, Bond is tasked with his first mission from unaccompanied minors Q (Judi Dench). He must stop a financial backer of terrorism from winning a high stakes poker game in the Bahamas. Rated PG-13 not for the sophiscated, great for kids DECK THE HALLS This mediocre holiday film involves two feuding neighbors. When Steve Finch by Erin thursby [email protected] (Matthew Broderick) finds out that Buddy Hall (Danny DeVito) is building the mother of all light displays on Grade C PG 95 min. his house, he goes ballistic. Buddy is stealing Steve’s Unaccompanied Minors is like a Christmas from Everybody Hates Chris, plays the ivy-league thunder as Mr. Christmas. Buddy keeps adding more time Breakfast Club for eight to fourteen-year-olds, bound Charlie Goldfinch. He’s a complete nerd, and more lights so his display can be seen from a minus the drug references, with better chase scenes, who seems to have mostly been around adults and satellite orbiting in space. Comedic situations ensue. “funnier” material, and with tons more holiday sh- doesn’t normally hang out with kids his age. He Rated PG lock. That’s exactly how I envision the picture being escapes to The Sharper Image Store, where he tries pitched to studio execs. It seems to borrow form a out all the gadgets and eventually ends up singing DÉJÀ VU Denzel Washington stars as an ATF agent cadre of kid’s movies, like Home Alone. It’s updated, karaoke. Tough, tomboyish Donna Malone, played by who travels back in time to save a woman from being of course, following six kids of very different back- Quinn Shephard, fulfills a fantasy I’m sure everyone murdered. While accomplishing his mission, he falls grounds traveling without their parents and stuck in has had: she steals a skycap cart and drives it at in love with his target, which greatly complicates his an airport because of snow. It’s not the most original top speed through the airport. Timothy “Beef” Wel- mission. Rated PG-13 flick to hit theaters, but it is sure to be a winner with lington, played by Brett Kelly is the weirdest of the kids in the above mentioned age group, provided that bunch. He fills in the consummate weirdo role played THE DEPARTED This is Martin Scorsese’s tribute they aren’t too sophisticated in their tastes. by Ally Sheedy in the Breakfast Club, with his own / remake of Hong Kong filmmaker Felix Chong’sWu Luckily, the movie moves fast enough that you particular brand of weirdness and imagination. jian dao –a classic of the genre. The story deals with might not have time to ponder the conventions being Grace and Spencer pair off in the end, as two men from opposite sides of the law. They are re-treaded. It’s definitely a safe movie to take your do the tomboy Donna and the nerd Charlie. The each undercover for their organizations. One agent is kids to, as there aren’t any sexual references or bad scriptwriters seemed to have found the fact that undercover for the Irish Mafia with the Boston State language. Also, the child actors filling out the roles “Beef” wasn’t coupled off a bit sad, so they wrote a Police and one agent is undercover with the Irish Mafia. do an excellent job of charming their audience and slapdash scene in at the end, giving him a romantic There’s a rat in the police unit and the Irish Mafia. The are very well cast. interest. That, like much of the movie, had a manu- two moles are dispatched to fine the moles in their The film is directed by Paul Feig, who also factured quirkiness that I found hard to swallow. organization. Of course, they are the moles. It stars I tried very hard to suspend my belief at several Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon as the moles and directed the short lived cult TV series Freaks and Jack Nicholson as the mob boss. Rated R Geeks. Unfortunately, I was counting on his past points in the film, mostly because security was so resume to make this flick more interesting than it utterly inept. If it’s that easy to get around security at FLUSHED AWAY This animated film is about an was. an airport, why do I have to take my shoes off and uptown rat Roddy (voiced by Huge Jackman) who gets As a fan of That 70’s Show, I was happy to see Zach Van Bourke who furtively helps the kids. get wanded? These kids would have been arrested flushed down the toilet from his penthouse apartment, actor Wilmer Valderrama in a major motion picture. Comedian Lewis Black plays Oliver Porter, who by real cops the moment they stole that sky cab cart ending up in the sewers of London, where he has to He plays the harried and sympathetic flight attendant oversees the operations at the airport and is the and trashed an airport book stand. learn a whole new and different way of life. Rated PG film’s overwrought Scrooge. He plays his part in an Some of the best moments in the film came over the top manner that fits horrible lines like “Last from the adults that just had cameos, like Teri Garr FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION In the style of humor “ ” one down is a fired apple.” as the tipsy, over-decorating aunt, who continues to we have come to expect from director Christopher A TRIUMPH! We follow six kids in the movie, although the festoon her already decorated house as she reas- Guest, this film revolves around the actors in a small GLENN KENNY, PREMIERE core four stay together for the majority of the movie. sures Valerie Davenport (Paget Brewster) who is indie melodrama Home For Purim about a Jewish Gina Mantegna plays the rich girl Grace Conrad, who worried about her kids stuck at the airport. family in the Deep South during the 40s. When Marilyn escapes from the pen of unaccompanied minors For most of the movie, I was looking for a big (Catherine O’Hara) hears Internet rumors that her to go to the airport spa (where she runs up a $450 laugh, and I never really found it. The movie was performance could garner an Oscar nomination, the bill). Her brand conscious snobbishness soon disap- cute, but it never had me laughing out loud. I’ll for- buzz of awards season is set in motion. It is not long pears as she joins the other renegade kids. Spencer give a great deal, if a movie can deliver punch lines before the other actors get tagged with Oscar-fever Davenport, played by Dyllan Christopher is just an that have me laughing rather than groaning. The too, and the race toward nominations begins. Starring: ordinary, awkward fourteen-year-old boy, working characters are somewhat memorable but the script Eugene Levy, Harry Shearer, Catherine O’Hara, Michael to impress Grace. His attempts to impress Grace and plot lack originality. Still, it’s a fun holiday romp McKean. Rated PG-13 are thwarted by his little sister, Katherine Davenport, with plenty of physical comedy that younger kids are played by Dominique Saldana. Tyler James Williams, sure to enjoy. THE FOUNTAIN This stunning art film by Darren Aronofsky has been hailed as a masterpiece by some pundits and panned as nonsense by others. It involves Tomas, a man who becomes immortal by how unaccompanied minors was born eating bark from the Tree of Life. He lives parallel lives The endearing screenplay for Unaccompanied Shuler Donner states, “We were so glad that simultaneously. Tomas lives three incarnations. First, Paul really responded to the material. He has such as a Spanish Conquistador on an expedition to find Minors was based on Susan Burton’s coming-of- a unique voice and style, and he is so good at com- the fountain of youth for Queen Isabel (Weisz), then as age story “Babysitting” on Chicago Public Radio’s the doctor married to Izzi and trying to find a cure for Peabody Award-winning program This American bining physical comedy with heartwarming ele- her brain cancer, and finally as an advanced human Life. “I heard this story on the radio about two sis- ments. Plus, nobody understands early teen angst living in a bubble adrift in space unable to die to join ters who get stuck in an airport traveling from one like Paul.” his wife on the other side. For viewers, it’s open to parent to another,” recalls producer Michael Aguilar. Having appeared on This American Life him- interpretation. Rated PG-13 “It struck me as a great idea for a movie because self, Feig shares, “I was drawn to this project for there was adventure, fun and an emotional center. so many reasons. I am always trying to tell stories HAPPY FEET In the close-knit world of Emperor So I got together with writers Jacob Meszaros and about family or about people bonding together. Penguins, they find their mates through singing. Ah but Mya Stark to create a group of young fictional char- Here you have five kids from separate families a penguin is born who can’t sing a note. So, the misfit acters who get stuck in an airport over Christmas joined together by the fact that they’re mostly kids Mumbles takes up tap dancing, and soon is banished without their families and create a little makeshift of divorced parents and, during the holiday season, for their community. He meets a posse of outcasts and MOBILE USERS: For Showtimes - family of their own.” are sent around from one parent to the other. I just Text Message BLOOD DIAMOND with your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549) soon the whole penguin nation is dancing to the oldies. Together with Aguilar, fellow producer Lauren love the idea of strangers who are thrust together The animated film is voiced by Robin Williams, Hugh STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8 Shuler Donner looked for the right director to realize and find that they have things in common. Also, I’d Jackman, Elijah Wood, Nicole Kidman, and Brittany Regal Cinemas DIGITAL AMC Hollywood Theaters AVENUES STADIUM 20 ORANGE PARK 24 14 their project. A few years ago, Paul Feig had estab- been wanting to make a fun, physical, sort of old- Murphy. Rated PG Phillips Hwy N off I-95 Blanding Blvd & Wells Rd I-95 to Duval Rd East Exit 800/FANDANGO #680 904/264-3888 904/757-9880 DIGITAL lished his knack for telling stories about adventures fashioned comedy like the kind I grew up watching. Regal Cinemas DIGITAL AMC Cinemark BEACH BOULEVARD 18 REGENCY SQUARE 24 TINSELTOWN in adolescence as creator of the critically acclaimed I just wanted to try and capture that fun slapstick 14051 Beach Boulevard Outside Regency Mall Southside Blvd & Gate Pkwy style of comedy.” (continued on pg 9) 800/FANDANGO #188 904/264-3888 904/998-2020 television series Freaks and Geeks. CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORIES OR CALL FOR SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS NO PASSES SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES OR DISCOUNT COUPONS ACCEPTED

8 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper LET’S GO TO PRISON Dax Shepard stars as a career criminal who has a plan for revenge. It is thwarted by unlikely circumstances. So, he puts his intended blood diamond victim’s son in his place by putting him in prison, and then joining him. Rated R

NATONAL LAMPOON’S VAN WILDER: THE RISE a gem of a movie OF TAJ Kal Penn stars as Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Van Wilder’s assistant) who leaves Coolidge College by Rick grant [email protected] behind for Camford University. There he continues his education and teaches an uptight student how to make the most of his college education by picking up coeds and drinking beer. Rated R

THE NATIVITY STORY This docudrama, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, focuses on the life of Mary and Joseph before the birth of Christ. The screenwriter endeavored to be Biblically correct, with fictionalized dialogue. The couple eventually journey to Bethlehem under difficult circumstances where Mary gives birth. Rated PG

ONE NIGHT WITH THE KING An epic adventure that follows a young Jewish orphan who rises from peasant to Queen of Persia only to face the annihilation of her people. Starring Tiffany Dupont, Omar Sharif, John Rhys- A- Rated R 150 min Leonardo DiCaprio is riveting as Danny, who Danny is an adrenalin junky who loves Africa and its Davies, Luke Goss, Peter O’Toole. Rated PG was in the Rhodesian Army’s special forces. He dangers. The country’s mystical allure haunts Dan- The horror of the raging civil wars in Africa is occasionally does recon work for the Sierra Leone ny’s consciousness. He says the sand is red from all THE PRESTIGE Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale chronicled in this powerful film. Which is a subtext Army when his smuggling activities coincide with the blood that has been spilled in the country. More portray rival magicians Robert Angier and Alfred addresses the exploitation of slave labor diamond the Army’s mission. So, he has agreed to find significantly, he has built up a profitable life as a sol- Borden. Robert is dumbfounded by Alfred’s mind mining in Sierra Leone by murderous rebel militias. Solomon’s boy and help Solomon get the diamond dier of fortune and diamond smuggler. Now he risks boggling tricks. He desperately tires to find out the Set in 1999, filmmaker Edward Zwick crafted an out of the country. Danger lurks at every turn with his life to find the biggest natural pink diamond in secret of Alfred’s amazing tricks. What if his tricks almost flawless scenario with brutally graphic action the Sierra Lione’s army clashing with the rebels in history. He sees it as his destiny. He could care less were not staged? What if he was doing real magic? sequences. It is skillfully acted by a stellar cast, and vicious battles. Danny and Solomon frequently get about Solomon’s son, who is all but lost to Solomon. It’s a conundrum as events build momentum to Alfred presents as a broad spectrum of contrasts. caught in the crossfire as they scramble to safety. Meanwhile, the forces of chaos are catching up finding out the truth. Michael Caine and Scarlett This penetrating scenario has everything Along the way, Danny meets an American jour- with Danny and Solomon as they dodge bullets and Johansson co-starred under Christopher Nolan’s anyone would want in a movie. It is an intelligently nalist, Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly) working on explosions to find the diamond. direction. Rated PG-13 written script with inspired acting and top notch a feature story about blood diamonds. She latches The tremendous heat and pressures that cre- THE QUEEN A revealing, witty portrait of the British filmmaking.. Leonardo DiCaprio stars as Danny Ar- on to Danny as an important contact. Danny is not ated the diamond symbolically represent the tumul- royal family in crisis immediately following the death cher, a diamond smuggler working for a big diamond thrilled that she keeps popping up in his game plan. tuous conflicts raging across Africa, leaving untold of Princess Diana. The setting for this fictional account syndicate. In a twisty plot, Danny hooks up with a Over his mercenary career, Danny has seen too death and suffering that tear at the soul of humanity. of real events is no less than the private chambers fisherman, Solomon Vandy ( Djimon Hounsou) who, much slaughter, making him bitterly cynical about Zwick’s brilliant film lays bare the crumbling cultures of the Royal Family and the British government in the during his internment as a slave laborer in the dia- the future of Africa. He sees Solomon’s diamond as of Africa as a study in extreme contrasts–life, death, wake of the sudden death of Princess Diana in August mond mines, finds a large priceless pink diamond. his ticket out of the country. However, deep down, and the struggle for hope and dignity. of 1997. The result is an intimate, yet thematically During a firefight with government soldiers epic, battle between private and public, responsibility Solomon gets away from his guards and hides the the brutal truths of blood diamonds and emotion, custom and action - as a grieving nation diamond, before running away into the bush. But waits to see what its leaders will do. Starring: Helen later, he is captured. Coincidently, Danny and Solo- The world sees diamonds as sparkling, ada and Amnesty International gave them a name Mirren, Michael Sheen, James Cromwell, Sylvia Syms, mon are incarcerated in the same prison. Danny beautiful and highly prized. They are symbols of in order to help bring the crisis into the public con- Helen McCrory. Rated PG-13 overhears another prisoner tell of Solomon finding love and fidelity, affluence and glamour. But in the sciousness: They called them ‘blood diamonds.’” the diamond. Danny is all ears, and arranges to have African country of Sierra Leone, where many of the Zwick had only a passing knowledge of the term THE SANTA CLAUSE: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE Solomon released world’s diamonds are mined, they have taken on a and its meaning when producer Paula Weinstein Tim Allen will be able to retire on these goofy Santa Thus begins a shaky alliance between the two much darker connotation. first sent him the script. “I had heard the phrase, Clause films. This third movie in the series features African natives from radically different backgrounds. Director/producer Edward Zwick explains, but I didn’t fully understand its implications,” he Santa a.k.a. Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) who is faced with Danny is more worried about his son who had been “‘Conflict diamonds’ are stones that have been offers. “The more I learned, the more fascinated double-duty: First, how to keep his new family happy, captured by warlords in a raid on his village. The smuggled out of countries at war. They then go and horrified I became, and the more I realized and second, how to stop Jack Frost from taking over ruthless thugs indoctrinate the boys with macho to pay for more arms furthering the destruction this was a story that needed to be told…I don’t Christmas. Rated G propaganda and arm them with AK-47s which some of the region. They may be a small percentage of think movies can ever be too intense, but people of them can barely lift up to their shoulders. The the world’s sales, but, nonetheless, in an industry have to understand why you’re showing them the SAW III It’s that voodoo that he do so well. Jigsaw boys are hooked on drugs and turned into killers. worth billions of dollars, even a small percentage things you are showing them. In the case of ‘Blood kidnaps a doctor to keep him alive as he directs his This subplot runs parallel to the main story of Danny is worth many millions and can buy innumerable Diamond,’ there are brutal truths, but there is also apprentice to torture a new subject by solving riddles that keep the poor captive alive. It’s the ultimate torture and Solomon traveling to the area where Solomon small arms. In the late 1990s, people from such great beauty and emotion to be found in the lives endurance test. Rated R buried the diamond. NGOs as Global Witness, Partnership Africa-Can- of those caught up in those situations.” (continued on pg 10)

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 9 immediately sets out to win, his Cock and Bulls being apparently destined for failure. The story goes on to STRANGER THAN FICTION One morning, a follow this competition, and Taj’s struggle to teach the seemingly average and generally solitary IRS students how to loosen up and party. agent named Harold Crick begins to hear a female If you’re looking for raunchy humor and easy to voice narrating his every action. Harold’s carefully follow storyline, then maybe The Rise of Taj will serve controlled life is turned upside down by this narration you well. A few laugh evoking scenes make seeing only he can hear, and when the voice declares that this movie not a total waste, but with those scenes Harold Crick is facing imminent death, he realizes he being too far and few between, I’d be weary before must find out who is writing his story and persuade her to change the ending. The voice in Harold\’s venturing to see Taj. A handful of too provocative head turns out to be the once celebrated, but now scenes and jokes make this film somewhat edgy, but nearly forgotten, novelist Karen “Kay” Eiffel, who is it lacks the freshness of former Van Wilder or other movie review raunchy college partying classics like struggling to find an ending for what might be her best book. Starring: Will Ferrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, or Porky’s. It’s got the whole charming message to it, Queen Latifah, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman. and morals prove valiant, but who wanted that? Rated PG-13. The prim and proper English setting was an interesting contrast to the vulgar actions of the char- TENACIOUS D: THE PICK OF DESTINY In Venice acters, which was somewhat awkward. The English Beach, JB (Jack Black) bonds with local slacker KG theme seemed too overdone and cheesy, along with (Kyle Gass). They form a duo called Tenacious D, the vulgar characters. The soundtrack created the per- setting out to become the world’s greatest band. To fect college party boy mood, as it was similar in style make this happen they go on a quest to find the Pick to anything you might have heard in the American of Destiny, which is located in a rock’n’roll museum, national lampoon’s Pie movies. An audience might be hard to find as the that will magically make them famous. Rated R obscene nature and female nude scenes might scare some away, but the sentimental message and roman- TURISTAS A hapless gaggle of young backpackers tic comedy feel might leave others disappointed. have a bus accident, leaving them marooned in a Taj, played by Kal Penn, is easily recognizable remote Brazilian jungle were a strange being lurks. van wilder: the rise of taj as one of the co-stars of the stoner classic, Harold Think Alien in the jungle. Much a bunch of young and Kumar Go To White Castle. Somehow Penn has people. Rated R by MORGAN HENLEY got the monopoly on the Indian-actor in comedies job, which is why his over emphasized Indian accent is C Rated R 95 min strange. If you’re a fan of Penn, I’d recommend Harold special showings National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj and Kumar instead of Taj. Looking at Penn’s resume, isn’t much of a rise of anything. A downgrade from The Inspire Me Film Festival schedule for Dec. 7 at it’s apparent Penn likes to stay true to his Indian roots. the first,The Rise of Taj, is a watered down, less funny Café 11 in St. Augustine has been postponed until Once in an interview with Jay Leno, Penn told a story version of its predecessor. It isn’t a rise of anyone’s Spring. of how once a casting agency asked why he was not movie standards either. Filled with cheap dirty sex wearing a turban. HAPPY FEET at IMAX Happy Feet will be shown at jokes, a predictable plot, and a cheesy English set- If you’re looking for a cheap laugh, then go see the World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater through ting, the Rise of Taj seemed to fall a little short of any The Rise of Taj, if you’re not, then don’t. January. Tickets are $10.50 for adults with discounts movie greatness. for seniors, students, military, children and groups. Taj Mahal Badalandabad (Kal Penn), an Indian The 2D World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater, graduate student sent to the English Camford Univer- located at in St. Augustine, Fla., sity, is a product of the first Van Wilder’s teachings, offers state-of-the-art, specially-designed cinematic and wants to use his newly acquired womanizing technology. The only IMAX® Theater in Northeast skills on the fresh campus. He goes to the campus, Florida, the Hall of Fame’s 300-seat IMAX® Theater eager and ready to join the Fox and Hounds fraternity they agree. As the strange crew assembles to the houses an 80-foot-wide by six-story-high. The that his father spoke of so fondly as being in and dance, all in their very finest, many a mishap occurs. World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® Theater is open where he experienced his greatest female adven- Taj sends the group to mingle amongst the others, every day of the year except Thanksgiving and tures. After a rude awakening the snobby and elitist and Taj immediately catches eye of the young female, Christmas. For tickets and showtimes, call 904-940- fraternity the Fox and Hounds, Taj realizes Camford Charlotte (Lauren Cohan). A too touchy-feely elderly IMAX or visit www.wgv.com. Holiday Favorites “The might not exactly be what he expected. Taj is then woman asks Taj to dance, and after regrettably ac- Polar Express” and “Santa vs. the Snowman” are sent to be residence advisor for an oddball, strange cepting; Charlotte intervenes and saves him from the also showing at the World Golf Hall of Fame IMAX® house of students called “The Barn”. Oddly loveable agony. Taj tries to play it smooth, but it is apparent Theater. and strange, Taj is greeted by Sadie (Holly Davidson) that the ladies man we knew with Van Wilder is just an overly sexual female, Gethin (Anthony Cozens), a not there with Taj. After embarrassing himself with THE JERK The San Marco Theatre will be showing typical geeky nerd, Seamus (Glen Barry) a too rough Charlotte by calling the Fox and Hounds some belit- Steve Martin in The Jerk along w/pizza in a cup! Dec and rugged Irishman, and Simon (Steven Rathman) tling and offensive names, Charlotte’s boyfriend, Pipp 15th,16th midnight and the 17th at 1pm. Info: 396- a silent loner. Taj sees it as his mission to transform (Daniel Percival) the head of the Fox and Hounds fra- 4845. these outcasts and use his “skills” to help these… ternity, ends their meeting, not on a friendly note ei- less fortunate. ther. So Taj decides to take it upon himself and declare GRIND2SHINE There will be a screening of Duval’s Taj finds an invitation for the school’s large gala that his house full of rejects, as a new fraternity called Movie, GRIND2SHINE and Concert@ Endo the Cock and Bulls. Conveniently there is a contest Exo, 224 Kings Ave., Dec 16th, 8pm. Admission is ball, even though it’s hosted by the Fox and Hounds; only $10 and includes your first drink. Just tell ‘em he insists that the group go. The group is reluctant, between all of the fraternities to show whose best in EU sent you. Info: 396-7733. but through Taj’s often too easily persuasive ways, a series of strange and mundane competitions. Taj

AMERICAN HARDCORE This gritty documentary directed and produced by Paul Rachman, chronicles the history of American punk rock from 1980 to 1986. It was written by Steven Blush and stars the real players in this rock’n’roll saga. Rated R. Dec. Dec 29th, 30th Midnight 31st at 1 pm. Info: 396- 4845. CLICK IT! read it all online at EUjacksonville.com

10 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper Peter Travers, “PURE ADRENALINE!” “ONCE AGAIN, MEL GIBSON PROVES WHY HE IS ONE OF THE BEST FILMMAKERS AROUND.” Pete Hammond, MAXIM “A DAZZLING, POWERFUL AND COMPELLING MASTERWORK!” Paul Fischer, DARK HORIZONS

Advanced Ticketing at amctheatres.com or (904) 264-3888 A.M.Cinema - All seats $5 before noon on Fri., Sat., Sun., & holidays - denoted by ( ) AMC Select- Special films for select tastes. ORANGE PARK 24 Wells Road and Blanding Distributed by BUENA VISTA PICTURES DISTRIBUTION ©TOUCHSTONE PICTURES APOCALYPTO (R)  (11:45 @ $5), 1:00, 3:20, 4:20, 6:45, 7:45, 9:55, 10:50 MOBILE USERS: Free Showtimes - Text APOC With Your ZIP CODE to 43KIX (43549)! BLOOD DIAMOND (R)  (11:40 @ $5), 12:45, 3:00, 4:05, 6:45, 7:30, 10:05, 10:50 AMC AMC THE HOLIDAY (PG13)  (11:55 @ $5), 1:00, 3:30, 4:35, 7:00, ORANGE PARK 24 REGENCY SQUARE 24 7:50, 10:15, 11:00 BLANDING BLVD. &WELLS ROAD OUTSIDE REGENCY MALL UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG)  (11:30 @ $5), 2:05, 4:45, STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8 7:10, 9:40 264-3888 264-3888 NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VAN WILDER: THE RISE OF Adv. Tix on Sale NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (PG) # CINEMARK REGAL CINEMAS REGAL CINEMAS HOLLYWOOD THEATERS TAJ (R)  5:10, 7:45, 10:15 TINSELTOWN AVENUES CINEMA 20 BEACH BOULEVARD 18 RIVER CITY MKTPLCE 14 TURISTAS (R)  (11:55 @ $5), 2:30, 4:55, 7:20, 10:00 Adv. Tix on Sale PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG-13) # SOUTHSIDE BLVD. &GATE PKWY. PHILLIPS HWY. N OFF I-95, EXIT 98 14051 BEACH BLVD. I-95 TO DUVAL RD EAST EXIT DECK THE HALLS (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 2:00, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 998-2020 538-3889 992-4398 757-9880 DEJA VU (PG13) (11:00 @ $5), 2:00, 5:00, 7:30, 8:00, 10:25, 10:55 Adv. Tix on Sale ERAGON (PG) # SORRY, NO PASSES THE FOUNTAIN (PG13) (11:15 @ $5), 5:00, 10:25 TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY (R) 9:30 PM Adv. Tix on Sale CHARLOTTE'S WEB (G) # CASINO ROYALE (PG13) (11:00 @ $5), 12:45, 2:15, 5:45, 7:40, 9:15 HAPPY FEET (PG) (11:05, 11:35 @ $5), 12:05, 1:45, 2:15, 2:45, 4:30, 4:55, 5:30, 7:15, 8:10, 9:55 LET’S GO TO PRISON (R) 9:30 PM “ “ STRANGER THAN FICTION (PG13) (11:20 @ $5), 2:05, 4:50, YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE 7:40, 10:30 BORAT (R) (11:45 @ $5), 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35 Adv. Tix on Sale NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (PG) # ” ” FLUSHED AWAY (PG) (11:35 @ $5), 1:55, 4:25, 7:00 WITH THIS MOVIE. THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) # Mark S. Allen, CBS/CW TELEVISION GROUP (11:10 @ $5), 1:45, 4:25, 7:00 Adv. Tix on Sale PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PG-13) SAW III (R) 10:45 PM Adv. Tix on Sale ERAGON (PG) # THE PRESTIGE (PG13) 1:50, 7:25 ————$AMC SELECT%———— Adv. Tix on Sale CHARLOTTE'S WEB (G) # THE NATIVITY STORY (PG)  (11:15 @ $5), 12:05, 1:50, 2:45, 4:30, 5:30, 7:05, 8:10, 9:45, 10:45 UNACCOMPANIEDMINORS (PG) DIG (1205) 335 540 745 945 BOBBY (R) 4:40, 10:55 FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION (PG13) (11:50 @ $5), 2:40 THE HOLIDAY (PG-13) DIG (1215 1245) 340 410 710 740 1010 THE QUEEN (PG13) (11:20 @ $5), 1:55, 4:40, 7:10, 9:50 1040 REGENCY 24 Behind Regency Square Mall APOCALYPTO (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (100) 400 735 1040 THE DEPARTED (R) 6:35, 9:50 BLOOD DIAMOND (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1230) 355 720 1035 APOCALYPTO (R) (10:45 @ $5), 12:30, 1:25, 3:40, 4:30, 7:00, 7:45, 10:10, 10:45 VANWILDER: RISEOF TAJ (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (130) 435 755 BLOOD DIAMOND (R) (11:40 @ $5), 12:40, 2:50, 3:50, 6:30, 7:10, 9:45, 10:25 1015 THE HOLIDAY (PG13) (11:50 @ $5), 12:50, 3:00, 4:10, 6:20, 7:25, 9:30, 10:35 TURISTAS (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1220 235) 455 750 UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) (11:05 @ $5), 12:55, 3:15, 5:35, 7:50, 10:20 THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) DIG (135) 450 725 950 NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VAN WILDER: THE RISE OF TAJ (R) 2:20, 10:10 BOBBY (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (125) 425 715 1005 TURISTAS (R) 2:00, 4:20, 6:45, 9:15 DECK THE HALLS (PG) (11:55 @ $5), 2:15, 4:40, 7:30, 10:15 OC & DA: DECK THE HALLS (PG) DIG 420 DEJA VU (PG13) (11:10 @ $5), 12:45, 2:05, 3:45, 7:05, 8:00, 9:55 THE FOUNTAIN (PG13) 5:00, 10:40 THE FOUNTAIN (PG-13) DIG 640 935 TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY (R) 10:20 PM CASINO ROYALE (PG13) (11:45 @ $5), 3:05, 6:15, 7:15, 9:25, DEJA VU (PG-13) DIG (1240) 345 705 1020 10:30 HAPPY FEET (PG) (11:30 @ $5), 12:10, 1:00, 2:00, 3:35, 4:30, DECK THE HALLS (PG) DIG (1250) 650 940 5:25, 7:05, 7:55, 9:45 STRANGER THAN FICTION (PG13) 2:40, 10:30 CASINO ROYALE (PG-13) DIG (110) 440 730 1025 1045 BORAT (R) 1:20, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40, 10:00

FLUSHED AWAY (PG) (11:35 @ $5), 1:40, 3:50, 6:00 2006 HAPPY FEET (PG) DIG (1210 120 240) 435 720 950

THE SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) 9, (11:00 @ $5), 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:05 STRANGER THAN FICTION (PG-13) DIG (1255) 350 645 930 SAW III (R) 8:10, 10:45 ————$AMC SELECT%———— BORAT (R) - ID REQ'D DIG (1235) 430 800 1000 STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8

THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) (11:45 @ $5), 1:05, 3:55, 5:15, 7:00, December REGAL CINEMAS REGAL CINEMAS AMC AMC PLAYTIME DRIVE-IN 3 7:45, 9:40 , SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE (G) DIG (105) 415 NAVENUES CINEMA 20 NBEACH BLVD. 18 8ORANGE PARK 24 8REGENCY SQUARE 24 6300 BLANDING BLVD. 9451 REGENCY SQ. BLVD. BOBBY (R) 1:50, 7:50 day PHILLIPS HWY., 14051 BEACH BLVD. BLANDING BLVD. & (904) 771-2300 N. OF I-95, EXIT 98 992-4398 WELLS RD. OUTSIDE THE MALL FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION (PG13) 1:20, 3:25, 5:30, 7:55, 264-3888 HOLLYWOOD THEATERS 700 800-FANDANGO #680 800-FANDANGO #188 264-3888 G

Satur RIVER CITY 10:20 CINEMARK’S BABEL (R) 4:40, 10:25 SORRY, NO PASSES ACCEPTED FOR THIS ENGAGEMENT. MARKETPLACE 14 for BABEL (R) - ID REQ'D DIG 1015 NTINSELTOWN 1-95 TO ONE NIGHT WITH THE KING (PG) (11:20 @ $5), 1:30, 4:15 8 SOUTHSIDE BLVD. & DUVAL RD. EAST EXIT CHECK DIRECTORIES OR CALL THEATERS FOR INFORMATION. N GATE PKWY. • 998-2020 757-9880 THE QUEEN (PG13) (11:35 @ $5), 2:10, 4:35, 7:20, 10:00 THE QUEEN (PG-13) DIG (1225) 405 655 955 Times AND AT A THEATER NEAR YOU -SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT No passes or discount coupons Times For 12/9/06 ©2006

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 11 new on dvd

Beerfest (116 min.) Two American brothers, Jan (Paul Soter) and pirates of the caribbean Todd (Erik Stolhanske), decide to travel to film is now available complete with limited-edition Germany to participate in an international un- 3-D packaging. derground drinking game tournament known as dead man’s chest - dvd review Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knight- Beerfest. Accompanied by their college drinking ly return in this swashbuckling adventure tale where buddies, the guys fly overseas to represent the by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] old friends and new foes meet on the high seas. Will US in the event. Rated R for pervasive crude and Turner (Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Knightly) are sexual content, language, nudity and substance about to tie the knot when the couple is thrown in abuse. jail for aiding Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) in his latest escape from the authorities. The two agree to High School Musical- Remix Edition (98 go searching for the infamous pirate in exchange for min.) their freedom. Meanwhile Jack is hiding out from In this teen phenomenon, basketball team captain the wicked sea spirit Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), to Zac Efron and class brain Vanessa Anne Hudgens whom the good captain owes his very life. The debt secretly follow their dreams and audition for the must be repaid and Jack’s time among the living is lead in the school musical. This special two-disc up. Once Captain Jack crosses paths with his old edition features brand new supplements include shipmate Will and the lovely Miss Swann, the epic making of featurettes, two remixed songs, two adventure truly begins. versions of the film and more. This film is rated The Dead Man’s Chest DVD has a nice amount TV-G. of bonus features and is well worth owning. Disc one contains the feature film, an audio commentary How to Eat Fried Worms (98 min.) track with writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio and a During the first day of at a new school, Billy For- blooper reel. Disc two is where the real booty can rester (Luke Benward) squares off against Joe be found. Numerous behind-the-scenes featurettes (Adam Hicks) the school’s bully, and winds up made the cut including an hour long look at the film’s accepting a dare that could change the balance production and a brief look at the red carpet pre- of power within the class. To gain some respect, miere. Also included here are Jerry Bruckheimer’s in a way only fifth graders can, Billy agrees to eat photos of the production and an interactive look at ten worms by 7 pm that very day. Rated PG for Captain Jack’s costume complete with the whats, mild bullying and some crude humor. whys and hows. In all, the two-disc special edition DVD boasts over five hours of bonus features and Idlewild (121 min.) The sixth highest grossing film of all time is inspired by the theme park ride, was a smash in the- will make a lovely addition to any film buff’s collec- André Benjamin (aka Andre 3000) and Big Boi, now available on DVD. Pirates of the Caribbean: aters and will no doubt break DVD sale records just tion. Should you or someone you know be a Pirates both of Outkast, star in this musical set in a Dead Man’s Chest, the sequel to the hit film that was like its predecessor. A special two-disc edition of the fan, this release will make the perfect gift. lively speakeasy in a Prohibition-era small town in Georgia. Percival (Benjamin) is a shy player and songwriter roused from his shell by a vivacious singer (Paula Patton) and Rooster (Big Boi) is a philandering singer who winds up in deep with a gangster (Terrence Howard) when he the chronicles of narnia inherits the club. Rated R for violence, sexuality, nudity and language. extended dvd set Miami Vice (132 min.) by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] Based on the 1980’s TV action/drama, this up- date focuses on vice detectives Sonny Crockett Last year’s Academy Award winning film The (Colin Farrell) and Rico Tubbs (Jamie Foxx) Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the as their respective personal and professional Wardrobe gets the Lord of the Rings treatment lives become dangerously intertwined. Going with a new four-disc extended edition DVD release undercover as offshore boat racers and outlaw available December 12th. C.S. Lewis’ literary clas- smugglers, the two take on Arcángel de Jesús sic comes to life in this beautifully executed film Montoya (Luis Tosar), a dangerous arms dealer about four children who enter a wardrobe and find and drug trafficker. Rated R for strong violence, themselves in a magical world. There they meet language and some sexual content. all sorts of interesting creatures including a pair of beavers, a wicked witch and a regal lion named Pulse (90 min.) Aslan. When their computer hacker friend accidentally On April 4th The Lion, the Witch and the channels a mysterious wireless signal, a group Wardrobe was released on DVD in two editions, a of co-eds rally to stop a terrifying evil from taking standard single-disc version with little-to-no extras over the world. Starring “Veronica Mars” beauty and a two-disc deluxe boxed set with additional Kristen Bell. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences artwork and supplements. As I mentioned at the of sci-fi terror, disturbing images, language, sen- time of that release, an extended edition DVD was suality and thematic material. rumored to have been in the works should the feature film itself. Extended scenes add an additional minute journey into the life of the literary master- initial versions sell well. And sell well they did. A 7-10 minutes to the film, not as much as I person- mind. This never-before-seen film is a particularly Saturday Night Live- The Complete First record breaking four million copies of the DVD ally would have liked, but welcome nonetheless. The welcome addition considering what little was Season were sold on the first day of release and here extended scenes are integrated seamlessly into the available on the author in the previous releases. After far too many “Best of SNL” DVDs, the pow- we are, eight months later, with a new version of original film and do nothing to disrupt the flow. It all Disc four contains behind-the-scenes looks at the ers that be are finally giving fans what they really the film just in time for the holidays. While many works quite well. I won’t rehash what bonus features making of the film itself thanks to a comprehen- want: year by year box sets with early episodes people already own The Lion, the Witch and the can be found on the first two discs since that infor- sive featurette, an art gallery and an anatomy of in their original formats. The set features all 24 Wardrobe on DVD, this release is certainly worth mation has been readily available for several months. a scene feature that breaks down the epic battle episodes from the first season, a Limited Edition buying and would make a wonderful gift for any The new extras come on discs three and four where sequence toward the end of the film. Photo Book with Rare SNL Photos of the Cast fan of the film. we get to see more of Narnia and the man behind the The extended edition DVD will only be avail- and Lorne Michaels, cast member screen tests The first two discs in this box set are almost unforgettable tale. able until January 31, 2007 so if you’re interested and archival footage from the Today Show with identical to the ones found in the two-disc deluxe Disc three has only one supplement, a feature- in owning this wonderful boxed set, now is the Tom Snyder. This box set is not rated. collector’s edition with the only change being the length look at C.S. Lewis. Here fans can take an 81 time.

12 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper sleeper cell a lesson in terror by Rick grant [email protected]

There are four reasons for subscribing to Showtime–the penetrating drama Brotherhood, the dark comedy Weeds, the demented but fascinating Dexter, and now a new eight part miniseries Sleeper Cell: An American Terror, which is a sequel to last summer’s Emmy award winning drama. Based on the high quality production values and acting on the first Sleeper Cell, I’m thrilled by the production of a new anti-terrorist series which mirrors real life, when terrorist sleeper cells are activated to execute preplanned terrorist events. True, we haven’t had major terrorist event on American soil since 9/11, thanks to the real life FBI and CIA agents working to thwart the cells’ ac- tion. Like real life, Sleeper Cell’s undercover FBI-agent Darwyn al-Sayeed, played by Michael Ealy is deep into the terrorist organization. Many FBI assets are quietly working undercover to stop these sleeper cells from following through with their attacks. This exciting and suspenseful series showcases a stellar cast and exemplary script writing. One could compare it to 24, but it’s much more complex in tone and mood. Its cast is more real- istic, than superhero Jack Bauer’s death defying antics. In SC, main characters die and terrorists sometimes win as the story arc progresses. In fighting terrorists, antiterrorist agents have to be right a hundred percent of the time, but terrorists need only be right once. In other words, the odds are in their favor. The main cast are experienced actors with heady credentials. Henri Lumbatti plays Bosnian terrorist Ilja Korjenic. He escaped capture during the failed terrorist attack at Dodger Stadium in last season’s finale. Omid Abtahi plays Iraq-born terrorist Salim. He is new to the series. Salim is an electrical engineer and an expert at building rocket launchers. Kevin Alejandro is a former L.A. gang member turned terrorist Benny Velazquez. Benny converted to Islam in prison where he met Dar- wyn. When he was released from prison, he joined a radical mosque, where Darwyn keeps a close watch on him. This connection launches a new cell. The women in this series are tough, gorgeous, and intelligent. Thekla Reuten plays Mina, a new Dutch terrorist and munitions expert. She was once caught up in prostitution, but she was converted to Islam by a friend who turned her into an extremist. Melissa Sagemiller plays Darwyn’s girlfriend, Gayle Bishop. She learned of Darwyn’s real identity when he saved her son’s life in last season’s finale. As a single mom, she tries to convince Darwin to take a less dangerous job. But she supports him, knowing that he is saving lives. This absorbing series features a worthy villain, terrorist mastermind Faris al-Farik played skill- fully by Oded Fehr. Caught by the FBI, he’s being interrogated in a secret U.S. prison. Farik is moved to a secret prison in Saudi Arabia where he’s tortured. Of course, Al-Qaeda is planning a rescue operation to free al-Farik. Now that he is located in Saudi Arabia, Al-Qaeda has a shot at grabbing him back. The settings shift from Los Angeles to Saudi Arabia to Sarajevo, giving the series an interna- tional overview, with rapidly building tension. Darwyn risks his life every minute of every day as he delves deeply into the cell’s plans. The first Sleeper Cell was riveting and an important television event for Showtime. Now, on Sunday, December 10th 9:00 pm, the new series launches with eight episodes over eight consecutive nights. However, after the debut episode airs, all eight episodes will be available on Showtime’s On-Demand so one can record them on DVR for future viewing. This new SC series again proves that all the best writing is in television. With many notewor- thy shows, Showtime is the new HBO in terms of high quality production across the board. The first Sleeper Cell set new high standards of production, writing, and acting. Now we are treated to another eight episodes.

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 13 the gift of giving ways to make the season brighter for those in need by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected]

A popular holiday song tells us that it’s the most girls) who have been removed from their families due wonderful time of the year. For many right here in to abuse or neglect. These programs help the children Jacksonville, however, that is not the case. Help make overcome their hardships, find loving foster families their holiday brighter by donating to these First Coast and get on the road to independent living. The Boys’ charities in need: Home is currently in need of stocking stuffers such as shampoo, conditioner, toothbrushes, socks and un- Otis Smith Kids Foundation derwear of any size, movie and event tickets, candy, This non-profit organization provides programs stationery and gift cards. Please call (904) 421-6020 and services to disadvantaged children in Northeast for more information. Florida including after-school programs, summer camps and scholarship opportunities. Since its incep- Hubbard House tion in 1989, the Otis Smith Foundation has helped Hubbard House has been providing help to do- more than 10,000 Florida children and continues to mestic violence victims and their families since 1976. make an impact on our community. The foundation In addition to offering domestic violence victims emer- is currently in need of new wrapped toys for children, gency shelter, the organization also provides a com- gift cards for holiday parties and teacher recognition, prehensive list of services including counseling, court sponsors for monthly enrichment programs and field advocacy and community education. Children living in trips and volunteers for events. If you would like to these volatile situations are also given the tools they donate gifts or your time please call (904) 880-6847 need to heal and break the cycle of violence. Hubbard for more information. House has a number of holiday outreach programs available for those who want to give including the The Boys’ Home Association “Adopt-a-Family” program, in which donors contribute The Boys’ Home Association started in 1914 gifts for an entire family. For more information on this to give homeless and orphaned boys a place to call and their many other volunteer opportunities visit the home. Today the organization has a number of pro- Hubbard House website at www.hubbardhouse.org or grams and services it offers to children (boys and call (904) 354-0076 extension 652.

Youth Crisis Center: The Safe Place Trinity Rescue Mission For over 30 years the YCC has lent runaways For over 40 years the Trinity Rescue Mission has and troubled youths a helping hand when they needed been serving Jacksonville’s homeless and needy, pro- a safe place to stay. They helped bring together many viding them with programs and services to help break Northeast Florida families and has kept kids in crisis the cycle of addiction and homelessness. The facility from being victimized. The YCC helps children ages is currently seeking gifts for those housed there, do- 10-17 and is in need of gifts including coats, sweat- nations of candy and small gifts for stocking stuffers ers, jeans, games, personal CD players, wallets, hair and volunteers willing to wrap gifts, distribute stock- care products, stationary, backpacks and more. For ings and help with cooking and serving the Christmas the center’s complete wish list visit their website at meal. For more information on volunteering your time www.ycc.org. If you wish to contribute to this worth- and donating gifts, visit the organization’s website at while cause please call (904) 720-0002. www.trinityrescue.org or call (904) 355-1701.

The Bridge of Northeast Florida Salvation Army The Bridge targets communities with low-in- The Salvation Army was founded in 1865 when come households and schools that have high grade William Booth, a traveling evangelist, began preaching level failures, truancies and delinquent activity. to the poor. Today the organization serves millions of Through their comprehensive programs and services, people around the world who are homeless or barely the Bridge is able to turn around the lives of children making it. In addition to dropping coins in their familiar who would have been lost otherwise. The Bridge is red buckets, you can also help give area children a currently looking for generous donors who will provide happier Christmas by donating toys and other gifts. unwrapped gifts to families in need and teens that are Angel Trees, found at various locations all over town, overlooked by other organizations because of their hold gift tags with a wish list specifically for one child age. If you would like to donate gifts please contact in need. Nonperishable food items and bell ringers are the Bridge at (904) 354-7799 for more information. also in need. If you would like to donate your gifts or time, call (904) 301-4875. Daniel Foundation Inc. Founded in 1884, the Daniel Foundation has Bright Holidays been helping neglected, abused and abandoned This recognized public charity helps underprivi- children through programs that enhance the quality leged children and their families specifically during the of their lives. By providing children with therapy, voca- holiday season. Bright Holidays raises funds locally tional training, GED preparation, foster homes and, in and works with school principals in the community to some cases, adoptions, the foundation does exactly identify those in need. The organization relies solely what it promises: improves the odds for kids. The on volunteer efforts due to its seasonal nature and Daniel Foundation is in need of wrapped new toys for 100% of the monies raised go to help those in need of children ages 0-18, store gift cards, personal hygiene assistance. The charity is currently seeking monetary items or donations. For more information call (904) donations and gifts of your time. For more information 296-1055 extension 1007. call (904) 280-2163.

14 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper winter camps how do you take your nutcracker? by Erin thursby [email protected] With Nutcracker productions cropping up ers. There will be a performance at the cozy and day care for winter school break all over during the holiday season, it’s tough to historic Florida Theatre on December 8th at 8PM, choose which Jacksonville production to go to. December 9th at 2PM and another performance by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] The three main Nutcracker productions The Com- that evening at 8pm. Call 355-2787 For most kids December 21st is an important SCIENCE munity Nutcracker, the Florida Ballet Nutcracker Also at the Florida Theatre, the Florida Ballet day on their calendars and not because Christmas is and the First Coast Nutcracker all have different will be presenting their version of The Nutcracker, right around the corner. You see, winter break begins Science Day Camps things to offer. something they’ve been doing every year since that fateful Thursday and that means no more teach- EcoEd Resources Science Center in Mandarin The Community Nutcracker has been capti- 1978. About 70 dancers will be stage in hand- made period style ballet costumes. “We have a ers, homework or pop quizzes for two and a half will give children a chance to learn about a variety of vating spectators for over a decade. This produc- tion is a hometown Jacksonville specialty that will full company of professional dancers, with eight glorious weeks. It also means parents will be looking different sciences over the course of their vacation. for ways to keep their children out of trouble and capture your imagination and get you into the holi- professional dancers that are part of our com- Younger kids will get to study the human body, wild- entertained. Luckily there are tons of winter camps day mood. This year’s guest dancers come from pany,” said artistic director Laurie Picinich- Byrd. life and the weather while older children can explore in and around the Jacksonville area in every possible the Miami City Ballet. The Community Nutcracker A number of children will also be on the stage. ancient cultures, learn about forensics and discover price range. Here’s a listing of just a few of the many gives back to Jacksonville in more ways than one, The principle dancers in the production will also you have to choose from: the wonders of outerspace. with a large portion of the proceeds going to ben- travel to other cities during the holidays, on loan Date: December 22 (ages 6-12), December 26-29 efit Dreams Come True. “Our entire organization to companies who need professional dancers in ART (ages 6-8), and January 2-5 (ages 9+) is volunteer…everyone who participates comes their production of the Nutcracker. Come enjoy the Time: Two sessions each day: 8am-12noon or from one of the many dance studios; there’s about holiday classic on December 15th and 16th. From Lunch and a Movie Winter Holiday Camp 12noon-4pm three and a half months of rehearsal,” said Linda glittering snow storms to the gorgeous sugar plum ArtLife Studios in Atlantic Beach will be hosting Cost: $18 per session (except for “Space Frontiers” George, this year’s general chair. Two children fairy, the magical ballet will keep you entertained. their first Holiday ArtCamp. Kids will be able to enjoy which is $34 for 1st session, $18 for second) from Dreams Come True are also part of the For more information or to buy tickets, call (904) a movie, learn some movie trivia, participate in act- Contact: (904) 268-0610 show. The show is very community oriented, giv- 355-2787. ing and improv games and hear about making films ing back by supporting Dreams Come True and 353-7518 directly from movie professionals. Children should MOSH Holiday Camps by having a Thursday night community service The First Coast Nutcracker with the Jack- bring their own lunch. Campers will have a great time learning about night in which they give away tickets to places like sonville Symphony will enthrall the whole family, Date: December 27-29 and January 3-5 science all around them at the MOSH. Each day will nursing homes, Ronald McDonald House, Baptist showcasing worldwide renowned principal danc- Time: 10am-noon (ages 5-7), noon-3pm (ages 7- feature a new topic ranging from the astonishing Children’s home, Hope Haven, and Lutheran Chil- ers, our area’s finest young dance corps, and 12) to the gross. Kids will get to study weather, time dren Services, to name a few. Tchaikovsky’s best-loved melodies. Their produc- Cost: $20/day (discounts available for ArtLife Stu- and the icky science of their own bodies. These fun “I think our [Nutcracker] is very child tion features a full, live orchestra. Scheduled dates are 8pm on December 8th and December 9th and a dios members) days at the museum are for children in kindergarten friendly…they invite the kids from the first few rows to come up on stage while they explain the matinee performance on December 9th and 10th at Contact: (904) 247-8337 through 5th grade. Snacks will be provided but camp- story,” George explained, when asked what sets 2pm at the Times Union Center for the Performing ers need to bring a bag lunch. Holiday Arts Camp The Community Nutcracker apart from the oth- Arts. Call (904) 354-5547 for info. Date: December 27-29 and January 3-5 The Cultural Center at Ponte Vedra Beach is Time: 9am-3:30pm offering kids a chance to really celebrate the season Cost: All six days is $180 for members, $160 for with their fun art projects like building edible sculp- non-members. Daily rate $35 for non-members, $30 tures and creating New Years noise makers to mark for members. the new year. Each day will feature a different project Contact: (904) 396-6674 and children should bring their own bag lunch. Date: December 18-24, 26-29 Time: 9am-11:30am (ages 4-5), 9am-2pm (ages A Little of Everything 6-10) Cost: $35/day non-members, $25/day members COJ Holiday Blast (ages 4-5), $45/day non-members, $35/day mem- Children ages 6-12 are invited to attend this bers (ages 6-10) city-wide event which will feature arts and crafts, Contact: (904) 280-0614 indoor and outdoor sports and games. Space is limited and registration is required. Parents are asked SPORTS to provide their children with a bagged lunch, snacks and drinks for the day. 2006 Ivan Cruz Winter Hitting Camp Date: January 2-5 Baseball Heaven, northeast Florida’s largest Time: 9am-4pm dedicated batting cage facility, will be hosting a very Cost: Free (extended day is available at no extra special hitting camp with Ivan Cruz, a former ball- charge) player with 14 years of professional experience with Contact: The community center nearest you. For a the Yankees, the Pittsburg Pirates and the St. Louis list of participating centers visit the city’s website at Cardinals. Children ages 8-14 are welcome. www.coj.net and select the office of parks and recre- Date: December 26-29 and January 2-5 ation from the pull down menu. Time: 8:30am-12:30pm Cost: $175 (includes lunch) Zoo Holiday Camp Days Contact: (904) 744-8707 The Jacksonville Zoo’s Education Department invites children ages 6-11 to attend their unforget- Skatelab Winter Camp table holiday camp. Each day kids can get up-close Skatelab Indoor Skatepark and Museum will be hosting their yearly winter camp right after Christ- and personal with some amazing animals, enjoy a mas. The two-hour long camps will include skate look at zoo life behind-the-scenes and create beauti- instruction by Skatelab staff and daily activates like ful works of art. Each day includes a variety of fun toboggan races and dodge ball. Admission includes activities, a train ride, lunch and afternoon snacks. breakfast and admission of the week after camp has Date: December 18-22 and January 2-5 concluded. This extreme event is for kids 6 and up. Time: 9am-3pm Date: December 26-29 and January 2-5 Cost: Members: $40/day for 1 or 2 days, $35/day Time: 8am-10am for 3 or more days. Non-members: $45/day for 1 or Cost: $80/week 2 days, $40/day for 3 or more days. Contact: (904) 249-2529 Contact: (904) 757-4463

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 15 hands-on classes will feature ingredients from the store. Patrick Walley, Apron’s Resident Chef, says that food shopping is one of his “favorite things to do.” Once Walley and his staff have shopped the ingredients in the store they prep the food for demo classes as far as they can. While the demo is going on, they use the sec- ond kitchen to put the finishing touches on the dishes. The calendar of cooking classes has a time slot for every person, from weekends to week nights. “Come January,” Walley says, “We’re going to be running two classes simultaneously.” Classes include “Girl’s Night Out,” “Kid’s Survivor Camp,” “Couples Cooking” and much, much more. For a schedule of ce- lebrity chef appearances and classes, go towww.publix.com/aprons or call (904) 262-4187. The school is located in the Publix at 10500 San Jose Boulevard, in Mandarin.

cook with local chefs and celebrity chefs Chef Rocco DiSpirito in action. Chef’s Profile Apron’s Cooking School Opens in Mandarin by Erin thursby [email protected] I didn’t expect the Publix Apron’s Cooking School to be so deluxe. Anyone who frequents Publix has seen the Apron cooking demos and the Apron’s cases, which feature a recipe and all the ingredients in one display. I expected something just a little more extensive than those demos I had seen, perhaps next to the bakery, with enough room for folding chairs. I wasn’t expecting the 2,000 square foot, camera ready facility with two kitchen classrooms and a full calendar of food classes. Our Apron’s Cooking School is one of three that Publix has opened, all of which are in Florida. Tampa and Sarasota lay claim to the other two. You’ll be able to choose from demo-style classes that are set up like a cooking show, and hands-on cooking classes. With both styles of classes you get to eat what you make or what the chef makes. These meals are steal; the Couples Cooking Class is a mere $80 per couple: you get a five course meal and a few hours of entertainment as you watch the meal being cooked. It’s a charged atmosphere of fun, with an injec- tion of upscale casual. Chefs teaching the courses will range from the staff at Apron’s and local chefs to international celebrity chefs. Most of the celebrity chefs will also bring one of their books for a book signing before or after their cooking demo. The three Apron’s Cooking Schools grew out of the cases and demos of the Apron’s displays, which in turn came from the “Simple Meals” program. All of these programs and the new Apron’s Kitchen are the brainchild of Shelly Carroll, Director of Meals at Publix. Of the inspiration for the programs, Carroll says: “We need people to shop and we need people to cook and, as we talked to people and researched, we found that they needed help cooking. So, we developed the Apron Recipe Cards and we put all the ingredients in one Patrick Walley display. People could get what they needed and be in and out.” Many people are still intimidated by the kitchen and thirst for basic knowledge. They look at all the ingre- Apron’s Cooking School Resident Chef dients on the shelf, coming away so confused that they just stick to the few dishes they know. The most pop- ular courses aren’t the specialty courses like Thai cooking or “Gingerbread Houses” (December 2nd, 10th,16th What’s your culinary background? $35 for a family of four or less). The courses that fill the fastest are things like “Basic Knife Skills” and other I went to two different culinary schools…I did an apprenticeship program in Detroit and worked in Ann courses that cover the basics. By the way, even in something like “Basic Knife Skills” you won’t miss out on Arbor for a Certified Master Chef, who was part of the culinary Olympic Team… the food. The four course menu for this month’s “Knife Skills” class is cream of mushroom soup, Asian pork stir fry, broiled basa with Mediterranean salsa and fresh fruit cobbler. Course prices run from an average of What’s your favorite food to eat? about $30 to $150 per person, depending on the course and whether a celebrity chef will be part of the class. Sushi. At the Apron’s Cooking School demo I attended, our celebrity chef was Rocco DiSpirito. He’s known for his cookbooks (Flavor, Rocco’s Italian American, and Rocco’s Five Minute Flavor), his involvement in What’s your favorite food to cook? Manhattan’s Union Pacific and his role in the 2003, 2004 reality series called The Restaurant. DiSpirito’s Risotto. cookbook, Rocco’s Five Minute Flavor was available for purchase and DiSpirito signed copies for fans after the demo. Every dish in the cookbook is ready in five minutes or less using five ingrediants, with each serving What’s your favorite dessert to make? coming in at under $5. Of cooking at Apron’s DiSpirito commented “It’s nice to cook for Publix because… My dessert background is extensive. [I worked] as a pastry chef for a large off-premises catering [they’re] setting a new standard.” Shrimp Scampi with Grilled Bread, Chicken Braised with Martini Rosso and company in for four years. I was a pastry chef at a …four-star, four-diamond guest ranch Dijon served with Risotto, and a delightful Martini Rosso Tiramisu were dished up at the demo.Each of the for three years. One of my favorite desserts to make is bread pudding…I make a brownie bread four courses on the menu was accompanied by a Robert Mondavi wine selected to compliment each course. pudding…[that] people just [go] goo-goo over. All of the ingredients in DiSpirito’s demo came straight from Publix’s shelves. Most of the demos and

16 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper T-Mobile Sidekick 3

The newest version of the sidekick comes with a me- dium resolution screen, a built-in keyboard for text messaging, a 1.3-megapixel camera, along with EDGE support and a mini SD card slot. It has an easy-to-use a gadgets, gags, interface and is great for text messaging in a hurry via the built in keyboard, and the built-in MP3 player is also a nice thing to have if you don’t have a separate device for that. While the speakerphone is probably not the best feature on this device and the screen doesn’t feature the games and best resolution around, the T-mobile Sidekick 3 is still a worthwhile purchase for the tech-needy young adult in your life.

get-it-online Sony PS-LX250H fully automatic turntable

This two-speed automatic turntable features easy-to- gift guide. use push button controls and a built-in preamplifier. While not the most robust sounding and player for the discerning audiophile, it is still great player for the average listener who has been craving to listen to his by norm stovall or her vinyl collection but doesn’t have the means to do so. Conveniently, this item can be used with any computer sound card, HTIB, or receiver.

iPods for everyone

Depending on what your music listening habits are, Apple’s has you covered. With the iPod Shuffle, you get a compact music listening device that is great for listening on the go. With the iPod Nano, you get a compact music Oppo Digital LT2007 20-inch player with a color screen, and If you want to go all out, you can get the standard iPod, which features 30 to 80 LCD-TV DVD Combo gigabytes of memory and full-fledged audio, video, and gaming support from iTunes. With the iTunes music ser- This device packs a good number of features and a vice, you can download thousands of files (videos, films, great LCD screen, and has a very small footprint as music and games) via the iTunes music store. You can well. The integrated DVD player works remarkably also import all of your favorite from cd into iTunes. well, and you can also use this machine to watch Very easy to use, an iPod makes a great Christmas gift. DivX, MPEG videos, and photo slideshows from the memory card reader, along with being able to listen to MP3 files. With the monitor, you get VGA functionality along with Component, S-video, and Coax inputs, and Nintendo DS the screen really does look quite nice.

Nintendo is probably the most innovative developer of handheld gaming platforms, and it really shows with the Nintendo DS. Featuring a flip top lid much like a laptop computer, this small gaming machine has two screens in addition to all the stan- dard gameplay buttons. The bottom touchscreen can be used in conjunction with a stylus to really involve you in gameplay in ways that other game systems can’t. You can draw a path for Kirby to follow in Kirby’s Canvas Curse, You can practice your learning skills, keeping your mind sharp with Brain Age, Tech Gear Xtreme PF3531 from Pulsar and you can run, jump and shoot fireballs using the standard controls in New Super Mario Bros. Using the Nintendo WiFi If you happen to be the watch collecting type, or you know someone who is, online multiplayer functions are a breeze, all you need to do is this is probably the watch for you this year. (Or them) This watch features a take your Nintendo DS to a local Wifi Hotspot. The Nintendo Stainless steel case and a black rubber strap, and includes such functions DS is great fun for all ages, good enough for my tots and good as an alarm, date, a stop watch, and other standard features most watches enough for me, too. have these days.

Garmin StreetPilot i2 Leica M8 Digital Camera If you are looking for a small, accurate GPS system for your vehicle at a good price, you should definitely check out the Leica is a name known by most camera fanatics. Garman StreetPilot i-series. Even though the system is a With the same familiar design of the previous M- bit diminutive in size, the ease of use and simple to read series models, this new digital version features all of interface more than makes up for it. Additionally, all maps the quality you’d expect from the name brand, with can be easily transferred via your home computer via USB overwhelming image quality at 10-megapixels. The or memory card for your convenience. The only drawback Leica M8 digital camera has too many noteworthy is the input method for addresses when entering info on the features regarding image quality to mention here, so unit itself. It has a tiny scroll knob and 2 buttons, so it takes a check it out at the website (www.leica.us) if you are few minutes to type in an address. Otherwise, this product is interested. amazing and can really help you get around at a good price.

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 17 Nintendo DS games... the big ones Contact Contact is one of those great-but-overlooked titles that fea- tures fun gameplay, an interesting story, and a great sense For Xbox 360 of humor. Think of it as ‘Earthbound meets Final Fantasy meets Secret of Mana’, if you will. If you are looking for a portable RPG Adventure game to take up some of your Gears of War time, check this one out. Gears of War is another one of those games in which you fight an alien race determined to take over your Final Fantasy III planet. This third-person shooter has a plethora of must- In my opinion, Final Fantasy 3 for the Super Famicom Sys- see moments and an amazing multiplayer environment, tem (a.k.a. Super Nintendo in the US) was the best Final including Deathmatch and online co-op play. Fantasy game ever. With an all-new 3 dimensional remake for the Nintendo DS, you can now play this game in the US, and you don’t have to worry about translating Japanese Viva Piñata text. The gameplay in this game is tops, featuring hundreds Viva Piñata is a colorful and eccentric game from Rare of combinations of jobs for your four party members. for the 360. In this title, you take control of a Piñata (or Featuring bright graphics and great character design, this is Piñatas) of your choice, and raise them in an environ- definitely an RPG you don’t want to miss. ment that really becomes their own. This game has tons of personality and is great for all ages. Sony PSP For Nintendo Wii

Sonic Rivals Zelda: The Twilight Princess Sonic Rivals is a great Sonic game that features fast-paced 2D This is the staple Zelda game. Winning rave reviews from many places, gameplay that made our favorite hedgehog famous, and it’s rendered this game features an innovative control scheme and the familiar game- in sharp-looking 3-D graphics. Sonic Rivals plays like a dream, and play you remember from the Nintendo 64 days. You really should check the nostalgia factor really kicks in after playing through the first level. this game out. If you love sonic but can’t seem to get into the more complicated and convoluted next gen versions, pick this one up.

Trauma Center: Second Opinion Do you ever wonder what it would be like to remove a tumor? How about rebuilding an arm with a shattered bone? With Trauma Center: Second Opinion, you can do all these exciting surgical procedures, and more! It’s a good bit more fun than it sounds on paper, actually. Playstation 2

For Playstation 3 Guitar Hero 2 There is no avoiding Guitar Hero 2. The original Guitar Hero game was nothing short of amazing, with a novel yet surprisingly fun guitar controller used to play your tunes in time with the game. Guitar Hero 2 brings back all of that fun, with new modes such as leads and rhythm multiplayer along with a ton of new songs by familiar and up-and-coming artist. Hell, they even threw in a Resistance: Fall of Man song from Spinal Tap, which is nothing to scoff at. Well, maybe it is, but in a good way. This So, you own a PS3, but you say you don’t game gets the Entertaining U award for Awesomeness. have any worthwhile games to play on your 600-dollar machine? Well, maybe you haven’t played Resistance: Fall of Man. This title follows the similar scheme of a battle with alien creatures determined to ruin your life. The game is actually pretty fun, and supports up to 40 (!!) players at a time in an online match. I haven’t actually seen this many players online, but I’m sure that when the Playstation 3 console becomes more readily available, more people will show up for online matches.

www.eujacksonville.com visit our website for all of our guides to holiday gifts, shopping, events and movies.

18 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper gags... get it online By Jon Bosworth BY RICK GRANT commentary

Christmas shoppers are divided into two main groups–the caffeine-wired mall rats who love going to stores to Christmas shop (this is the same group that hums Christmas carols and wears Santa hats) and then gets into the spirit of gift-giving and enjoying the season, the people like me. We would rather be run over by a semi than go to a mall or a big department store. For years I was forced into the an- nual hassle of Christmas shopping at stores because of the feelings of guilt. If I didn’t go through the brutal ritual, God would strike me dead. But then a miracle happened—the Internet exploded as a place to buy anything. I embraced it with the zeal of a religious fanatic. In the last ten years, Internet shopping has burgeoned in product availability and usage. Main- stream stores like Wal-Mart and K-Mart have greatly improved their websites to make them easier to Traditionally, the joy of the holidays is supposed to come from those cheery moments spent with use and with much more merchandise availability. Then every brand name seller realized the impor- your family around the Christmas tree, watching the people you love most in this world light up as they tance of maintaining viable Internet websites with plenty of merchandise to sell. In some cases, sellers unwrap their gifts. Another joy of this season, however, is watching the face of a friend, enemy, or co- offer special online discounts to encourage online shopping. worker as they unwrap a well-thought-out gag gift. From White Elephant gift exchanges to simply mak- Bang, zoom, I had found my shopping Nirvana, not only for Christmastime, but all year-round. To ing a point to someone once a year through a clever gift, gag gifts have many uses, but rarely are they me buying online is stress-free, saves gas, and it’s much more convenient and easy to choose what practical. Their use derives mostly from the laugh you get after they open it. I want. Groceries and cars are still items that one can’t buy online. If you try to buy a car online, your I was notorious, at one point, for finding one gag gift that I would purchase in bulk and give to request becomes a lead funneled into a major dealership. A salesman will call and deliver you to their tabernacle of deceit. However, anything else can be purchased online. Heck, I buy my underwear di- everyone across the board. Imagine my family’s joy when they each unwrapped their very own The rectly from Jockey.com, hats from Hats.com, shoes from Zappos.com, etc. Clapper, enabling every family member the convenience of lights and appliances that can “clap on, clap Basically, all the big department store chains have excellent websites. Dillards sells quality cloth- off.” I have also been responsible for Chia Head Christmases and the switchblade combs. Those gifts, ing usually at premium prices. But in the long run, it pays to buy quality merchandise–it lasts longer although hysterical to me, didn’t really brighten anyone else’s holiday. Unless you count the fact that and I keep clothes until they disintegrate. Gift-giving depends on one’s budget. I limit my gift-giving to our Christmas tree lights could be clapped on. immediate family—wife, two dogs, two daughters, and three grandsons. One grandson, Joe, is 17 and a drummer. I buy him anything to do with drumming online, and there are innumerable websites for musicians. Just Google whatever musical instrument you want and a plethora of websites come up. So I scoured the Internet and some local stores to The other grandson is 18 has everything geeky–X-Box, computers, video games, etc., but he’s going to find a fun array of great gag gifts for this holiday sea- college, so I just give him a Visa Smart Card for a certain amount and let him choose. Oh, I know he’ll son. It is getting pretty close to Christmas, so Internet blow it on beer and laughs, but hey, I was young once too. For electronics there are many great sites such as CicuitCity.com, BestBuy.com, CompUsa.com purchases may not get to you before your holiday work etc. For discounted electronics, TigerDirect.com is a diversified site to buy computer gear or audiophile party. If this is your situation, put down this paper and equipment at discounted prices. Home theater is the big new thing, and the sky is the limit. Again, go straight to Einstein’s Kitsch Inn in Five Points. From it depends on one’s budget. Large flat panel monitors are suddenly popular, with duel capabilities of Jesus action figures and plush Ghandi dolls to catapult serving as a computer monitor and receiving television signals. Dell’s 32-inch flat panel monitor with toys that fire pigs and other small items across the office, built-in HDTV is one of the best. Since webcasts are now skyrocketing in availability and popularity, Einstein’s is loaded with clever gifts for the quirky giver, these large monitors are perfect for that purpose. and they are all affordable enough for a coworker. And, as .com is a great site for buying gifts–especially books and CDs. They even offer The is always the case, your money is better spent in local, Shopaholic’s Guide to Buying Online: Your Guide to What’s Best on the Web. Or, go to Amazon.com independently-owned shops, because then the money then click on their Internet Gift Buying Guide. Of course, there is always eBay. I’ve bought and sold a you spend stays right here in our economy. ton of stuff on eBay. But a word of caution, eBay has a dark side. Although I’ve never had any prob- lems, make sure the person or store you are dealing with is listed with a good rating and always use eBay’s payment method through PayPal to be safe. Never circumvent the eBay channels by sending the leg lamp directly to E-mail addresses. It’s a sure way to get ripped off. One can buy literally anything on eBay and save money, but just be careful. Professional or amateur camera gear is pervasive on eBay at But if you have a little time there are some great greatly reduced prices. You name it, it’s listed. ideas online. For years A Christmas Story was the kind The advantages of buying online are many, especially when one is sending gifts out of town. It’s of movie that people overlooked. It was never embraced easy to send the gift to the intended person, and you can even have it gift wrapped for an extra charge. by wide audiences, in spite of being one of the funniest Shipping prices are minimal if you send the gift in plenty of time–not on Dec. 23rd. No one will think Christmas movies ever made, but this year A Christmas less of you if you use the Internet to buy and send them gifts. If you are stumped, just Google a spe- Story stuff is all over the place. Go to www.baronbob. cific gift or just gifts in general and a whole world of gifts will pop up. com/leglamp.htm to find a variety of lamps like the one So get out on the Internet super-highway–your gift is just a click away–and it’s stress free. that Ralphie’s father wins in the movie. If you know some- one that is enthusiastic about A Christmas Story, this gift is the perfect find. It will make them laugh all year and some will fit right on a cubicle desk or a table at home. customize

For customized gift options, check out cafepress.com. On this site, you can design any item yourself and then order it. Create a slogan T; you write the slogan. Do you constantly get in political arguments with someone at work or at family gatherings? Create a shirt that says “I believe the liberal media.” Regardless of their affiliation, for or against, that makes a funny gift. At Café Press you can also make coffee mugs, aprons, even thong underwear that you customize with your own message or image. The Internet is littered with gag gifts that are uncreative and incorporate fart jokes, but finding the right one is always a unique mission. You must get the person you are shopping for in your mind and find that inside joke between you that can be exploited with a perfect gift. The best thing you can do for an inside joke is give it a prop. The other option is to think about what they really hate and get a gift that rubs that hatred in their face. Either method is equally effective. (continued on page 20)

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 19 gags... (continued) elements Pimp My Cubicle premier exhibition at Jane Gray Gallery Do you work in a cubicle environment? Go to bn.com and check out the book and gift set called Pimp My Cubicle. It comes with some decorative features, including a gold “bling” button for their key- Jane Gray Gallery is a contemporary art gallery and consulting firm specializing in the acquisition and placement of board and a disco ball to hang from the desk lamp, as well as a book full of totally pimpin’ décor ideas. contemporary art. The gallery is committed to the promotion of Go to cubedoor.com to get a door for someone’s cubicle if they talk to much or tend to sneak peaks at emerging and mid-career artists working in various media including dirty websites and try to make you look. painting, photography, sculpture, and works on paper. The gallery features rotating exhibitions of contemporary artists working in Demotivators United States and Europe. Jane Gray Gallery is located in the dynamic Riverside- Avondale Historic District. Another great gift for the cynics around the work- The premiere exhibition titled “Elements” will be held on place, are the “Demotivators” you can find at despair.com. Friday December 8, 2006 from 6-9. The exhibition will feature new These posters are designed to look like those ridiculous photographic works by Thomas Hager, paintings by Tonya Lee, motivational posters known as “Successories,” only in- John Bunker, and sculpture by Joe Segal. stead of lauding corporate slogans and promoting positive Thomas Hager continues his exploration of nature through his attitudes, they appeal to the cynic at the workplace. Here investigation of shell and other organic forms from the sea in which are some of my favorites: he creates large photographic works of art. His exploration of organic th “Apathy. If we don’t take care of the customer, maybe forms, which become viscerally sculptural and his use of 19 century processes reveals the true passion they’ll stop bugging us.” Hager has for his medium and subject matter. Tonya Lee’s paintings are a culmination of gestural abstraction meets illustration meets myth-making “Discovery. A company that will go to the meets design meets decoration. Lee’s paintings intentionally work in oppositions to avoid concrete ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.” meaning, in order to prevent clear narrative for the viewer. “Mistakes. It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.” “Paint in opposition to painterly, icon absent of definition, absolute in opposition to spatial, gesture in You can design your own calendar by selecting your 12 favorite Demotivators, and Despair Inc will opposition to rigidity, suggestion versus evasion, system defines random” are phases by which Lee then produce the calendar for as little as $25. They also have a DIY section wherein you can provide the describes her work. “My narrative is no more important than the one created in the viewer’s mind”, says slogan and the image to create your own customized Demotivator. Lee. When it comes to gag gifts for the family, the options are limitless. Again, you have to know what Brilliant color and the use of white are signatures of John Bunker’s work. Bunker’s paintings capture will make the person receiving the gift laugh and give the two of you something you can laugh about and command our attention with a tour de force that vibrates from the canvas. According to one art later. Siblings are usually the most receptive to gag gifts in the immediate family, but often in-laws can critic, “ The subjects of his paintings are … simmering with energy, saturated with fragments of color and appreciate a gag gift and it saves you from having to find out what they really like. A ridiculous Christ- wonderfully alive.” Whether carving a block or assembling fragmented pieces, Segal’s work uses sculpture to echo mas sweater is always funny. Places in the mall, Spencer’s Gifts and Hot Topic, usually have gifts that the repetitive quality found in nature and examines the core of what he’s working with. By exploring the skew young, but a punk rock T-shirt, hair dye, or body piercing gift certificates can make a hysterical essence of the materials he works with, he strives to unite our need for order with the illusive nature of our gift for the military in-law or the older brother-in-law that dresses like he’s fifteen even though he’s over environment. “This intersection takes place within the most basic element of our existence- the passage thirty. of time” say’s Segal It’s important to remember that gag gifts are usually a little mean-spirited, so make sure you are “ELEMENTS” Grand Opening reception December 8, 2006 from 6-9 at the Jane Gray Gallery 643 not giving them to someone that is overly sensitive. Ordering Girls Gone Wild video’s for your new Edison Avenue (one block off Riverside Avenue). The exhibition will run December 8 through January 31, brother-in-law when you know your sister is especially insecure, could lead to a divorce. On the other 2006 Gallery hours are 10am. -5pm. Monday through Friday and weekends by appointment (904-338- hand, is there anything funnier than signing up your uber-conservative father for a subscription to 5790). Mother Jones magazine? Or what about that frat boy jerk at your work that is always telling you about his sexual exploits? What better way to get him back than with a subscription to Playgirl. Better yet, International Male. Sometimes spreading holiday cheer just means making yourself laugh, and if you aren’t trying to make new friends, gag gifts can be very liberating.

visit our website to reference all of the EU holiday guides: ∙ DIY gifts and kids gifts ∙ local and online shopping ∙ holiday events ∙ holiday movies www.eujacksonville.com

20 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper los lobos scorched the earth behind them at freebird by Rick grant [email protected] The legendary rock royalty from East L.A., Los Lobos rolled into the Freebird last Thursday night and proved why they are considered one of the greatest rock bands on earth to emerge from the early 1970s. Now in their 34th year they played to a small audience, but it put on a blistering show of eclectic music. These musical veterans played a wide variety of tunes from their Latin influenced songs to their blues-rock hits. They played a cross-section of their 15 hit albums with an emphasis on their new CD, The Town and The City, which is a rare concept album. Holding a band together for 34 years is a monumental accomplishment. It underscores their dedication to the group and their fans. It also shows that the main songwriters in the group, David Hidalgo and Louie Perez are innovative and prolific who continue to write important music. Los Lobos’ latest album, The Town and as the multicultural population of Los Angeles. The City was a struggle to complete, but it came These L.A. residents brilliantly meld their music together through the efforts of Hidalgo and Perez, into the ever changing cultural colors of L.A., like who wrote something decidedly different from the shifting human tides of millions of cars on endless group’s other work. freeways. Each song came off as an episode in The central core of the album started with the rough journey from idea to reality as the new what Hidalgo and Perez called “The Valley’s” album took shape. In this regard, The Town and The distinct groove that morphed into the seven minute City may be Los Lobos’ greatest album. Perhaps song, “If You Were Only Here Tonight”. The rest of it is one of rock’s greatest recordings, tantamount the album evolved from the roots of that song as a to the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper. For me, witnessing continuing story line of life in the City of Angels. the band perform this music live was a milestone At the band’s Freebird show, Hidalgo quipped event. “well this is an intimate setting,” meaning he In addition to the song writing team of David was disappointed with the small turnout. But it Hidalgo on guitar and lead vocals and Louie Perez was a partisan audience of fans that were very on drums, Cesar Rosas was smoking on guitar enthusiastic. I talked to a couple who had driven and vocals, and Conrad Lozano is the best bassist down from Valdosta, Georgia for the show. They I think I have ever seen. They were playing at the were ecstatic at seeing the band in person, even top of their abilities. The fact that the band ignored with the dismal prospect of facing the two hour the low turnout and gave the audience a top quality drive back home and having to go to work the next show is a tribute to their professionalism and it day. The band responded with tight grooves and helps to explain why the group has stayed together top notch musicianship. so long. Live, Los Lobos is a sensational act–blending Frankly, I’ve always liked Los Lobos’ Latin many rhythms and grooves into its jamming songs the best. However, this new CD, The Town power. On “If You Were Only Here Tonight”, its and The City is a masterpiece. More significantly, intricate groove was an open door to the group’s its completely different from anything the band has improvisational prowess as advanced musicians. ever done. When I heard them play cuts off the Steve Berlin’s baritone saxophone added the work at their Freebird show, I was stunned by its street feel of City which is as diverse in its sound overall genius.

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 21 live music literary names and shows calendar stranger things

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 7 Dark Romantics play Jack Rabbits Open Mic w/Colleen Murphy Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) by jon bosworth [email protected] The Committee Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) Who: Dark Romantics, Shangrala, House of Fools, EU: What does the name “Dark Romantics” mean? Gutterboy Cecil’s, Jax (744-5132) Paulsen, and Mi Capitan EC: In searching different words and phrases on the work extra hard and tour more to get industry types When: December 8 Internet that I felt described the musical and lyrical to notice them because those types only look at Blistur Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221) Where: Jack Rabbits feel of what we are doing, I came across “dark ro- numbers and sales of what’s going on down here, Switchback Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) manticism.” A genre label given to literature, music, as opposed to going out and hearing and seeing the Nathan Holley Bukkets, Jax Beach (246-7701) Florida’s music scene is an ornery beast. art, and film that deals with the not so “sun-shiny” bands, like they do in California, New York, etc. I’ve Florida doesn’t have a big city with major label pres- side of life, love, and spirituality. I felt that that was been toying with the idea of moving the band to the Jager Dave Ragusa Pub, Jax (443-7055) ence. You could take all of the industry profession- the most accurate description for what I am trying to Atlanta area, but only because it would make touring Crystal Gayle Lazzara Theatre, Jax (620-2878) als from Miami, Tampa, and Jacksonville and add do, and what I want to do. Plus it sounded cool (the so much easier. them together and you still wouldn’t equal the music Anastasia, Larry Magnum European Street, Jax (399-1740) best reason to decide on a band name!) EU: How instrumental has Jason Martin been to the industry professionals in Atlanta alone, never mind EU: What happened to Denison Marrs? music of the Dark Romantics? John Thomas Group UNF, Jax Chicago, Nashville, New York, or Los Angeles. But EC: It was just time to be over, and we were able to EC: Incredibly instrumental. He was able to take the The Circle Jerks Fuel, Jax (425-3835) Central Florida’s Dark Romantics knows all about recognize that. music and ideas out of my head and make them that, and they have managed to overcome the obsta- EU: How did you transform from the emo-ish Deni- sound good. I think he added class, and definitely The Hudson Falcons Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) cle the only way a Florida band can, perseverance, son Marrs and John Ralston, to the rather Smithsy- his coolness to it. We can’t wait to record with him Undertones Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) rigorous touring, and a few lucky breaks. with-a-disco-beat Dark Romantics? again. Mariachi Guadalajara Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) The name Dark Romantics fits their music is EC: Haha...that’s funny. We don’t have that many EU: With a background in the Christian music scene a strange way. The tone of the music is somewhat disco beats, I just happen to like that funky open (Divine Child and your ties with Starflyer 59’s Jason Porcelain Black French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) upbeat, but it has the creepy shadows of early goth high hat action. Denison Marrs had an alternative Martin) could the Dark Romantics be considered a Johnny Flood Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525) and progressive music from the eighties. Eric Col- 80s influence to many of its songs, but I think now faith-oriented group? lins was in the popular Orlando band Denison Marrs, that I’m writing on my own, or just with Dean, that EC: Definetely, but in a U2 type of way, which is how Nimble Jim & the Ointment Brewsters, Jax (223-9850) which had been Divine Child, and they were fairly influence really comes out. I tried fighting it for a I think Jason approaches his art. They, and we, are Boogie Freaks Square One, Jax (306-9004) well known, especially among the Christian music while, but finally gave in. Plus, my wife love’s alter- Christians, but don’t use it to sell our music. Like Wes Cobb Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) scene. Dean Paul, the other half of the songwriting native 80s jams, so... any musical artist, Christian or not, I’m writing lyrics team, was most widely known for his work with EU: In Jacksonville it is difficult for terrific bands about what I believe and think. Sometimes they’re Cornerstone The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) Florida musician John Ralston. to muster the fan support that the industry would spiritually-based, sometimes they’re not. Big Engine Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837) Whereas John Ralston’s music is folksy and notice at all. Most professional musicians from here, EU: What is it like being in a band with your wives? Rick Arcusa Band Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877) unremarkably traditional, and Denison Marrs was have had to leave here to pursue a professional mu- EC: I was a little nervous about it at first, but never something of an emo outfit, The Dark Romatics sic career. Has Florida been a difficult place for you doubted that I wanted to do it. I knew that I did not Those Guys The Oasis, St. Augustine (471-3424) are nothing like either of those projects. Their dark to come from professionally? Has it provided more want to tour unless our family was together, so Dean Ron Rodriguez Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) synth-pop sound reminds me of Echo and the Bun- obstacles or opportunities? and I forced our wives to join the band. It’s actu- nymen playing cricket with The Smiths. The two EC: Florida, for the most part, has a lot of great plac- ally turned out to be really cool...I wish I would’ve Chuck Nash My Place, Jax (737-5299) songwriters found a drummer and asked their wives es to play, a lot of really supportive scenes...You just thought of it earlier in my musical career. Little Green Men West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) to join the band. They have worked with Jason Mar- have to get out there and find them. It does make EU: What can people expect from a Dark Romantics Cloud 9 Latitudes Café, Atlantic Beach tin from Starflyer 59 on both of the albums they have it more difficult to be “noticed” in Florida because live show? released, and his stylish depth of audible texture is there isn’t really a music industry presence except EC: To fight, harder than ever before, the urge to Mr. Natural Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) almost noticeable on the latest record. I talked to Eric for radio pop music. And that’s even faded com- move and shake. People are really stuck in the arms- Collins, half of the songwriting team, about his new pletely out at this point, leaving those guys trying to crossed, feet-planted position at shows these days, THURSDAY-SATURDAY, DEC. 7-9 band. find “rock acts.” It seems like Florida bands have to and we’re trying to do our part to help abolish it! Blue Sage Shoes A1A Aleworks, St. Augustine (829-2977)

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 8 Scholar’s Word Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) Dana Salmela Cross Creek Restaurant, Jax Porcelain Black, Eye to I French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) McKenna Reefers, Jax Christian McBride UNF fine Arts Center, Jax (620-2878) Rookie of the Year, Rob Roy Fuel, Jax (425-3825) Cliff Worrell & the Restless Kind Papagallos, St. Augustine Grand Prix Real Ting Café, Jax Larry Magnum Creekside Dinery, St. Augustine (829-6113) Spring Yesterday’s, Jax (387-0502) Evenstill Casa Monica, St. Augustine Shawn Lightfoot, Jessica Pounds Block 27 Gallery, Jax Necrophagist Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) Unwed Sailor, Shangrala Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Nate Holley Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Amy Steinberg Twisted Sisters, Jax Beach (241-6453)

22 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper I’m…doing a ten year over night success story.” All Well is Broken Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) It’s strange for Miggs to say that his career is advancing at a slow burn, since he’s done an Brad Payne All-Stars Sports Bar, St. Augustine (827-9842) incredible amount without the backing of a large Johnny Flood Aromas, Jax (928-0515) label. 2006 has seen him get a song into the top 50 radio. Miggs has hesitated to get involved with a 2-Tone River City Brewing Company, Jax (398-2299) major label because he felt that it was like “getting in Eye of Fatima Club Fusion, St. Augustine (829-8333) bed with the devil. They tell you who you’re going to Built For Comfort Frisky Mermaid, Fernandina Beach (261-3300) be…” He believes that his success so far is “some- thing I can build on as opposed to a flash in the pan. Mid Life Crisis Tom & Betty’s, Jax (387-3311) I’ve never been someone who wanted to win the Stu Weaver Outlet Mall, St. Augustine lottery—I always wanted to earn my millions. I feel Tropic of Cancer The Breaks, Atlantic Beach that way about music.” Miggs has always been drawn to music, rock- McKenna Reefer’s, Jax (737-6300) ing in his crib as an infant and playing a drum solo C5 On the Rocks, Jax (685-5268) from KISS at age six. Almost from birth, there was never any question for Miggs as to where he be- The Company Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) longed: “It’s not a choice, it’s who I am and I don’t Lorenzo & the Allstars West Inn Cantina, Jax (389-1131) see myself doing anything else… It’s the only place I Yancy Clegg Shannon’s Irish Pub, Jax feel entirely comfortable: standing on a stage singing songs to people.” Irving Clements Quartet Starbucks San Marco, Jax Miggs will be performing solo acoustic at Roargan, Scum of the Earth TSI, Jax (635-3024) Jack Rabbit’s, which shouldn’t be a surprise to those who follow Don Migg’s career. He’s promot- Cornerstone High Tide Café, St. Augustine late nights and early mornings ing his acoustic EP Late Nights and Early Mornings, John Brandon Main Library, Jax something that’s just a little different than what he’s Matt Collins Pauly’s Pizza, Jax (727-9101) accustomed to. “It’s been a little foreign to me, just Don Miggs goes acoustic standing up there and playing guitar.” Fusion Duo Copeland’s, Jax He writes music constantly, and in different Big Al & the Kaholics Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange by Erin thursby [email protected] ways, sometimes methodically and other times as Park (269-4198) inspiration strikes him, whether it be in a car or in 3 Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181) What: Don Miggs that his “control thing has been more out of neces- the frantic moments of late nights and early morn- When: December 11th @9:30PM sity because…this is a hard business…and I’m not ings. Those late nights and early mornings served Where: Jack Rabbits 100% sure if the people around me are going to be as the inspiration for both the title of the album and FRIDAY-SATURDAY, DEC. 8-9 “I prefer to play for a room of twenty people there when the next tour comes.” Still, Miggs wants the title song. “For me it’s been about late nights and Gunslinger Cliff’s at the Beach, Atlantic Beach (249-2777) who just really get it.”—Don Miggs a band that is “all for one and one for all” and likes early mornings, because I write kind of in those be- Old school rock with a slightly warped pop the idea of creating music as a team. As to his cur- tween hours, when everybody else is sleeping, when A1A Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162) sensibility is how I’d describe the MiGGs. The front rent line-up Miggs says “I hope that these are the you kind of feel almost frantic and you don’t know if BEAM Mercury Moon, Orange Park (215-8999) man and the engine behind the band, Don Miggs, is guys that stick around.” Bass player Michael Lom- you’re going to get to sleep…” due to play in Jax on December 11th at Jack Rab- bardo and Don Miggs form the core of the group, Crazy 88’s Dueling Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) bits. Don Miggs, as part of the indie foursome of the with Matt Lucich (who loves Motown and played Lisa & the Madhatters Cheers, Mandarin (262-4337) MiGGs, took the world by surprise in 2005, with the drums on the last Queensrÿche album) on drums Livid Cap’n Odie’s, Mayport (241-8848) album Insomnia, a diverse mix of rock stylings that and Aron Forbes on guitar. Miggs has praise for all toys with your expectations of the genre. the members of his group, grateful for Lombaro’s Spade McQuade Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) In every band Don Miggs has participated “element of stability,” calling Forbes a “wunderkind” Warm Winter Coat Ocean 60, Atlantic Beach (247-0060) in, he’s striven to be the creative force behind the and lauding Lucich as “phenomenal” on the drums. music, even in those bands where he hasn’t been “It’s kind of a slow burn.” Miggs says of his Gutterboy Casey’s Hideaway, Yulee the lead singer. Miggs is driven and he knows what career “There’s days when I look at artists that have Don’t Tell Anne Fionn Maccool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) gotten a lot bigger a lot quicker and I’ve been a little he wants to say artistically. He has vision and wants Dial 9 Brewsters, Jax (223-9850) that vision executed in a way that is true to that vi- bit envious…and then I realize that there’s a certain sion, although he loves outside influences. I asked rise that you have to your career—some go really El Toro Loco Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877) him about his need for artistic control, and he replied high and then no one ever hears from you again. Yankee Slickers Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181) Go Ask Alice Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837) Kickin Lassie Roadhouse, Orange Park (264-0611) Sax of Soul Bourbon Street, Jax (641-8777) Freeze Frame Latitudes Café, Atlantic Beach Roger That Square One, Jax (306-9004) Cheshire Cats Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) Pili Pili Caribbee Key, Neptune Beach (270-8940)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9 Kenhe The Tree Steakhouse, Atlantic Beach (241-5600) Casual Kill, The Ruthless Brewsters Pit, Jax (223-9850) Stu Weaver Agustin Inn, St. Augustine (823-9559) Strings of Fire Jimadores, Jax (739-5828) Falling Bones Pizza Garden, St. Augustine (471-9455) Soul Release-Waterseed Boomtown, Jax (632-0099) Payton Page Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) Dot Wilder Jazz Quartet The Grape, Jax (642-7111) Applied Communications TSI, Jax (635-3024) Too Many Shoes The Norm Bar, Jax (384-9928)

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 23 Michael Funge Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249- might sleep through, becomes a hilarious portrait of 5181) who we are. Fire Engine Red, Josh Moyer, Pina Mango Empire Coffee, Jax Jason’s background in songwriting spans the country and shows an impressive talent that tran- Johnny II Times, Double M FCCJ S. Campus Auditorium, Jax scends the simple pop indie songs of the Slideshow Players. As a part of the Anti-Folk movement, Jason Heavenly Noise, Batsauce Aurathai, Jax is a part of a politically charged music scene in New Blistur, Temptest Reign French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) York that is intent on creating a known genre of mu- sic that represents political honesty and morbid reali- Str8 Up Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) ties in a pop, folk song context. It too is satire, in the Aerial Tribe Box Seats, Orange Park sense of the paradox the music creates. Jason also Johnny Winter Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) collaborated for some time with the legendary Daniel Johnston. The Draft Fuel, Jax (425-3835) Upset by the idea that Daniel Johnston’s legacy Oteil & the Peacemakers Jack Rabbits, Jax (398- might come down to lithium, mental disorder, and 7496) Mountain Dew, Trachtenburg has often railed against Mofro’s J.J. Grey Café Eleven, St. Augustine (460-9311) the pharmaceutical industry because they tend to cultivate illness for the sake of business, rather than Lauren Finham Perks! Coffeehouse, Jax (388-6950) educate people about the healing benefits of bet- Mike Shakelford The Homestead, Jax Beach (249-9660) ter nutrition. He even tried to sneak a nutrient-rich smoothie into a mental hospital in Texas for John- The Draft Fuel, Jax (425-3835) ston, but he isn’t sure that he ever actually ingested Stu Weaver Harry’s, Jax Beach (247-8855) it. LeMonde Trio Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) The Slideshow Players were formed in Seattle when Tina brought home a slide projector with Kid Kryptonite Jax Billiards, Jax have yourself a witty “Mountain Trip to Japan, 1958” already in the player. Man Sized Rat Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) He was so mystified by the images and he watched The Jamie Eubanks Band Frisky Mermaid, it until he felt he was somehow acquainted with the Fernandina Beach (261-3300) characters. He wrote songs to accompany the slides and took it on the road to share the magic of this Nathan Holley Bukkets, Jax Beach (246-7701) little christmas show. After having some success he took the Slide- Cliff Worrell & the Restless Kind Hurricane Patty’s, show Players to New York and there they took off, St. Augustine (827-1822) The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players’ eventually playing national tours and appearing on Open Mic w/Larry Broussard St. Johns Pizza Grill, Late Night with Conan Obrien. Jax (287-9900) Holiday on Ice I asked him if he was more inspired by Joe Jackson or Shirley Partridge. by jon bosworth [email protected] “Although I really admire the music of Joe SATURDAY-SUNDAY, DEC. 9-10 Jackson, we recently purchased the Partridge Family Who: The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, DVD, and I have to say they really inspire me. Good Shawn Fisher Julington Creek Park, Jax estate sales, and various thrift stores from around Ching Chong Song, and Rickolus the country. work. You hit the nail on the head with that one.” When: December 13 “We find people take the most pictures of Jason is also something of a smart ass. SUNDAY, DECEMBER 10 Where: Jack Rabbits Christmas, birthdays, and family vacations.” For the performance coming to Jack Rabbits He plays guitar and sings while his wife, Tina, this week, the Trachtenburgs will not be doing their Those Guys Sunset Grill, St. Augustine (471-5555) Jason Trachtenburg talks very fast, because who operates the projector, and his now-thirteen usual set. This performance is titled “Holiday on Ice” Jan Crawford & Friends Cortesse’s Flamingo, St. he truly has a lot to say. Not that the fantastic and year-old daughter, Rachel, plays drums. He isn’t and will feature an array of winter and Christmas Augustine (825-6775) fun live show of the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow worried about her rebelling and leaving the Slide- themed slideshows. ‘3’ Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune Beach (241-8221) Players doesn’t say enough. Jason says the show show players as long as she pursues something she I caught up with Jason at his home in New can easily fit into many categories, from perfor- loves, and he sincerely hopes it isn’t emo or alt- York before going on tour. He talked too fast for me David Milam Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) mance art to rock show to multi-media presentation. country. to type along with, so I held a digital recorder to the El Toro Loco Mark’s Downtown, Jax (355-5099) Jason travels with his family and plays songs in- “Some musicians just take themselves too earpiece while I talked to him on my cell phone. spired by slideshows they purchase at garage sales, Jager Dave Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349) seriously. That whole emo thing, and the alt-country JT: I think overuse of cell phones is going to prove to too, everything is just so serious. The phrase ‘seri- be one of the most damaging things that our genera- Chris Curles Whitey’s Fish Camp, Orange Park (269-4198) ous entertainment’ is such an oxymoron. I prefer tion suffers from. You aren’t on a cell phone right Sworn Enemy Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) music that can satire itself. Like metal, metal is great now are you? at making fun of itself. And it doesn’t mean it’s bad EU: Actually, yes. I am. Ron Perry Ragtime, Atlantic Beach (241-7877) just because it’s fun. Kyle Gass is a great example JT: Well then I’ll keep this short, because cell phones Pili Pili Latitudes Café, Jax Beach of that. Tenacious D is funny, and that guy really has should only be used in case of an emergency. That’s Boxrockers Conch House, St. Augustine (829-8646) some serious chops. He can play.” what they are really made for. When someone is The Slideshow players don’t take themselves dying or in eminent danger. We won’t even know for Dynasty, Le’Shay Atlantic Theatres, Atlantic Beach too seriously, but under the sense of humor, there is another ten years the sort of damage cell phones are Stevie “Fingers” Sun Cruz, Mayport certainly a current of suggestion. Many of the things causing us. EU: I remember hearing about some study from ten 3rd Bass w/Von Barlow The Casbah, Jax (981-9966) that are so funny in their show are simply everyday absurdities that we overlook until it is displayed as or fifteen years ago that reported cell phones caus- John Thomas Group Shelby’s Coffee, Atlantic someone else’s reality on the screen. Their usual ing brain tumors. What happened to that study? Beach (249-5182) performance involves slideshows such as “Moun- JT: Someone is making too much money to let stud- Bouncing Souls, Whole Wheat Bread Fuel, Jax (425-3825) tain Trip to Japan, 1959” which has pictures of an ies like that get out. American family on vacation in Japan. Jason makes EU: I bet its another Bin Laden plot. Mower, Last Laugh French Quarter, Jax (732-9550) up delightful songs embellishing on what these char- JT: And here I thought we could get through an entire Sandi Marie & under the Bus Scarlett’s, St. acters might be like if we knew them. interview without mentioning Bin Laden. Augustine (824-6535) The Trachtenburgs also often come across Ironically, the entire interview was erased Asylum Street Spankers Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) internal corporate slides that were never meant to be from my recorder, so these quotes are as close as viewed by the public. From marketing presentations I can remember to what he said. When I called the Sugar Bear The Landing, Jax to pictures introducing the executives of McDonald’s company to ask about the malfunction, they said the Southcott Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) from sometime mid-to-late twentieth century, which transmitter on the cell phone erased the conversa- Bobb D. Pizza Garden, St. Augustine (471-9455) Jason sings only the exact word written on the slide. tion. So the conspiracy has gone into the technology. The weight that Jason applies to these slides by And don’t be surprised if Jason looks a little peeved Miles Jaye, De’Vine Soul The Ritz, Jax transforming them from a seemingly banal slideshow when you take a cell phone call in the middle of their that the family would dread watching or the trainee set.

24 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper Dave Massey Monkey’s Uncle, Mandarin (260-1349) jimbo mathus talks to pork Vagabond’s Dream The Sandollar, Jax (251-3001)

MONDAY, DECEMBER 11 chops Aerial Tribe Square One, Jax (306-9004) Billy Bowers Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune by jon bosworth [email protected] Beach (241-8221) Nolan Neal Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) What: Jimbo Mathus and the Knockdown South so unique? Where: Fuel Coffeehouse JM: Every state is unique in its own way, but Mis- Goliath Flores The Casbah, Jax (981-9966) When: December 13, 2006 sissippi has gone through some pretty hard times. Don Miggs Jack Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) Jimbo Mathus ain’t pretty in the traditional Mississippi is poor; there is a lot of poverty here. Charlie Walker Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) sense. But when it comes to playing the blues in the And, let’s face it, Mississippi had a lot of slavery and true style and tradition of the great bluesmen, he is conditions for the black people were bad. Sam Pacetti The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) the prettiest catfish in the catch. EU: How much has it improved? Johnny Flood My Place, Jax (737-5299) “A good Bluesman is someone that has lived JM: It’s improved in some ways. In some ways it’s some life. Gone through some hardships.” stayed the same. But it’s still bad. It’s the unhealthi- Stu Weaver Harry’s, St. Augustine (824-7765) You may think that Mathus wouldn’t know est state. Little Green Men Lynch’s Irish Pub, Jax Beach (249-5181) much about that since his first major label band, EU: How did you get hooked up with Squirrel Nut Squirrel Nut Zipper, hit while he was still in college, Zippers? but Mathus didn’t let the success get to his head. He JM: I got that group together back in Chapel Hill in TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12 likes things done the old-fashioned way. From his my younger days. I just fell in with some good musi- Tony Bennett Florida Theatre, Jax hand-written website to his primitive recording studio cians and some creative people. Catherine really Erik Wink Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach (246-8099) (that doesn’t have a single computer in it) Mathus grew into music as the singer of Squirrel Nut Zipper. likes things to be simple. Like the blues. EU: How does Carolina compare with the Delta, Second String Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune “My studio is real stripped down, just vintage culturally? Beach (241-8221) microphones and tape machines. Coming into my JM: It’s much wealthier, but Mississippi is my home. Matanzas Trade Winds Lounge, St. Augustine (829-8646) studio to cut a live album is pretty much like going I love it. into a studio in the 1950s.” EU: How difficult is it to remain authentic in the mu- Vagabond’s Dream Copeland’s, Jax (998-4414) After his stint with Squirrel Nut Zipper, and be- sic industry? Christina Wagner & Friends Mark’s Downtown, Jax (355-5099) fore getting Knockdown South back together, Mathus JM: I just don’t really acknowledge the music indus- Silver Lake Drive Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) got wrapped up in ’s career. He won a try, so it doesn’t really affect me much. Grammy for his work on Buddy Guy’s Sweet Tea and EU: Is that from your experience in Squirrel Nut Zip- John Thomas Group O Club, Mayport still considers Buddy Guy one of the greatest living per, or just the way you’ve always been? Will Pearsall The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) bluesmen. JM: Oh, that definitely had something to do with Boyce Avenue Po Boys, Atlantic Beach (246-4121) Mathus’ latest release, Old Scool Hot Wings it, but that experienced just reinforced feelings I’ve is a true blues album that starts off with Jimbo in- always had about the music industry. And it’s all just Bill Rice Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955) troducing a blues song from the 1920s about some changing so fast, how record labels work and every- One Eighty Coyote’s, Orange Park (269-6837) pork chops that talk. Complete with kazoo and Luther thing, that I’m just sort of stepping back and trying Dickinson (of The North Mississippi All Stars) on to get my bearings. Jimmy Solari My Place, Jax (737-5299) mandolin, these songs step straight off of a porch EU: Why do you jump labels so often, is it difficult Ron Perry Fionn MaCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) full of old blues and bluegrass musicians, perhaps in finding a label that allows you to do your thing? Chuck Nash Your Place, Jax Beach (221-9994) Mathus’ hometown of Clarksville, Mississippi. JM: Well it’s hard to find the right match. I usually “I grew up in a house full of musicians. I start- just go with the one that has the least strings at- Seth Ramsdill Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) ed playing guitar when I was 6. Music was pretty tached. Lately I’ve just been putting them out myself. El Toro Loco Square One, Jax (306-9004) much always a big part of my life.” Jimbo Mathus and Knockdown South will Between Squirrel Nut Zipper, which played big perform live at Fuel Coffeehouse in Five Points on band and ragtime music circa 1920s, to the Delta December 13. Get there early to get a seat at the bar, TUESDAY-WED., DEC. 12-13 Blues of Knockdown South, Mathus is perfectly because to get the blues going sometimes takes a Gene Nordan Mackenzie’s, Ponte Vedra (543-9143) content living in the past. But he doesn’t want Mis- couple. Look for the new Knockdown South album sissippi to live in the past in all respects. Jimmy the Kid as well as a honky tonk concept al- EU: What is it about Mississippi that makes it bum from Mathus in the coming year. WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 13 Le Monde Trio Cortesses, St. Augustine (825-6775) At the top of this album is ‘Wasted Time.’ As As the album drags on, the over-abundance of Thomas Dolby Plush, Jax (743-1845) the loft the title suggests, listening to it is… I’m stopping instrumentation lends to the homogeny of the song- myself. Although this number has the jazz organ and writing at large. Where the guitars seems to stop The Cover Band Spare Time Grille, Jax Beach (246-8099) album review half-torn vocals reminiscent of The Black Crowes, up for a moment to let you into the lifeblood of the Fifth South Ocean Club, Jax Beach (242-8884) the drummer certainly shows his stuff in true jam song, the other instruments carry it on, or struggle Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players Jack band drum solo style. The guitarist got really into too hard to become part of the emphasis and bring Rabbits, Jax (398-7496) a Dire Straights effect early in the song and never to light the fact that the song has no lifeblood. It’s really finds his way out of it, except for during the just six musicians that like this time signature and Maylene, Sons of Disaster Thee Imperial, Jax (475-0488) predictable chorus. these four chords. Specializing in E and A, as all Tame 1, Smile Rays, Simple Complexity TSI, Jax (635-3024) Their music may at times remind you of Jet or good jam bands do, they refuse to let go of a song Teddy Washington Brix, Jax Beach the Rolling Stones, especially because this album long enough to prove any understanding of the also has a song called ‘Bitch,’ but don’t be fooled. blues. Ron Perry Cliff’s, Jax (645-5162) This is a bar band that simply begs and borrows I’m sure they are tired at the end of a set, be- Jimbo Mathus Fuel, Jax (425-3835) Artist: The Loft from their favorite Skynyrd songs and then mixes cause songs without an arc are simply full throttle them with some transparent new rock influences, throughout, and The Loft is a good example of that. Melissa Ferrick Freebird Live, Jax Beach (246-2473) Title: Tombstone Tapes which turn out to be something of a corruptive force This is a party band that belongs on a stage at some Dave Massey My Place, Jax (737-5299) With resounding endorsements from a bunch in the music. Their show can probably be counted beach bar playing Black Crowes and Grateful Dead Wes Cobb Band Square One, Jax (306-9004) of people I’ve never heard of, The Loft seems to on to feature extensive jams and epic performances covers. There, did I mention The Black Crowes have impressed some people through their perfor- that showcase duplicated soul, embellished South- enough yet? If you really get into a good Cigar Store Crystal Stafford, Aerial Tribe Starlite Café, Jax (356-4444) mance at this year’s South by Southwest festival ern charm, and simple 4/4 timing inside of verse- Indians show and can’t get enough of Widespread Conrad Oberg London Bridge, Jax (359-0001) in Texas, so perhaps they do have more to offer chorus-verse song structures. When these things Panic, this might be just the jam band that pushes Stu Weaver The Mill Top, St. Augustine (829-2329) than meets the ear in this stale and derivative al- are evidenced on the album, you can bet money they your blues/rock buttons. In which case, you’ll be sad bum. will encompass a large portion of the live show. if you miss them. - by jon bosworth Clyde Mannael Mellow Mushroom, Jax (997-1955)

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 25 Crystal Stafford The Casbah, Jax wearing a beard, earrings and strange clothes. He Seth Ramsdill Ragtime Tavern, Atlantic Beach (241-7877) also developed his famed “Seven Dirty Words” rou- tine, in which he expounds on the seven words you The Mike Miller Band St. Nick’s Lounge, Jax (396-3396) cannot say on the air. His notoriety made him a very El Toro Loco Aromas, Ponte Vedra (280-2525) popular counter-culture icon in the late ‘70s, which Chuck Nash Sun Dog Steak & Seafood, Neptune is around the time he seemed to shy away from Beach (241-8221) the public eye because of health problems. From the ‘80s on he worked fairly frequently, appearing Cloud 9 Fionn MacCool’s, Jax Beach (242-9499) on HBO TV specials and doing some TV and movie Pili Pili Fly’s Tie Irish Pub, Atlantic Beach (246-4293) work. Carlin has appeared sporadically in cameos Dave Massey My Place Bar & Grill, Jax (737-5299) and main roles of movies since the ‘70s. He’s worked more steadily in movies this decade than he has in any other, sometimes voicing characters for cartoons or CGI movies like II and Cars. His role as Cardinal Ignatius Glick in Kevin Smith’s Dogma, was one of his best, perhaps because of the irony of a known atheist playing a Cardinal in the upcoming shows Catholic Church. Although Carlin published one other book in the Ricky Skaggs Family Christmas Dec. 14, Florida Theatre, ‘80s before his 1997 Brain Droppings, it was this 355-2787 book that made his print career, with an astound- The Original Sinners Dec. 14, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 ing eighteen weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list. It was basically a print version of much Paleo/Adrian Seamonster Dec. 15, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 of Carlin’s stand-up monologues. Carlin received a Clay Aiken Christmas Concert with Jacksonville Symphone Grammy award for the audio version of the book in Dec. 21, Times Union Center 354-5547 2001. His next book, Napalm and Silly Putty, spent Orange Park Dec. 22, Jack Rabbits, 398-7496 two more weeks than its predecessor on the best seller list and the audio book also won a Grammy. Derek Trucks and Susan Tedeschi Dec. 27, Florida Theatre, The well titled, but comparatively unsuccessful When 355-2787 Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? was published in The Wailers Dec. 28, Freebird Live, 246-2473 2004. Doodlebops Dec. 28, Times Union Center, 633-6110 In the last couple of years, George Carlin has been a favorite author to attribute e-mail forwards Mofro Dec. 29-31, Freebird Live, 246-2473 to. The popular forward “Hurricane Rules” that ap- Rev. Billy Wirtz, Gunga Din Jan. 13, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 peared soon after the Katrina disaster are attributed Rod Stewart Jan. 13, Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arean, to him, as was the smaltzy post/e-mail “The Paradox 630-3900 of Our Time” and “I’m a Bad American.” The full contents of these are available on www.snopes.com. Eric Johnson Jan. 13, Freebird Live, 246-2473 Carlin took the time to post a disclaimer on his web Styx Jan. 14, 2007, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 site, stating that most of the stuff on the internet Galactic Jan. 14, Freebird Live, 246-2473 attributed to him isn’t actually his. “The Paradox of Our Time” appeared to be the post that annoyed him John Mayer Jan. 25, Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, 630-3900 most. Here’s what he has to say on his site: “One of classically offensive the more embarrassing items making the internet/e- Bill Gaither and Friends Jan. 26, Veterans Memorial Arena, mail rounds is a sappy load of sh*t called “The Para- 630-3900 dox of Our Time.” The main problem I have with it Corey Smith Jan 26, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 George Carlin appearance is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments Murder By Death Jan. 28, Freebird Live, 246-2473 may be, who really gives a sh*t? Certainly not me. I figured out years ago that the human species is Los Lonely Boys Feb. 1, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 by Erin thursby [email protected] totally f*cked and has been for a long time…Another Willie Nelson Feb. 6, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 What: George Carlin and religion. Carlin’s made a career out of complain- problem I have with “Paradox” is that the ideas are th Billy Joel Feb. 7, Veterans Memorial Arena, 353-3309. When: December 11 @ 7:30PM ing about the state of the world, gaining him the #2 all expressed in a sort of pseudo-spiritual, New-Age- Where: the Times-Union Center ranking on Comedy Central’s 2004 listing of the y, “Gee-whiz-can’t-we-do-better-than-this” tone of Joe Bonamassa Feb. 9, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 America’s favorite malcontent, George Carlin, greatest stand up comedians of all time (Carlin ranks voice. It’s not only bad prose and poetry, it’s weak Kris Kristofferson and Rosanne Cash Feb. 25, Florida will be here entertaining Jacksonville at the Times- behind Richard Pryor). philosophy. I hope I never sound like that.” Theatre, 355-2787 Union Center on December 11th, courtesy of the Carlin started doing stand-up at the tender age For Tickets call (904) 632-3373 or go to http:// Catie Curtis Feb. 25, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 FCCJ artist series. This live show is not for the easily of 18, eventually garnering appearances on shows www.artistseries.fccj.org/. Tickets range in price offended, as Carlin is fond of crossing the invisible like Laugh-In and The Tonight Show during the 60’s. from about $29 to $75 (without tax). Discounts are Michael Franks March 1, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 lines society has set up around dirty words, politics, The ‘70s brought a change to Carlin; he started available for groups of twenty or more. Kathleen Madigan March 6, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 The New Orleans Jazz Orchestra March 9, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 John Gorka, Sam Pacett March 9, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 The Beach Boys March 10, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 The Temptations and The Four Tops March 18, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Tom Rush March 22, Cafe Eleven, 469-9311 Anoushka Shankar March 23, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Leo Kottke March 29, Florida Theatre, 355-2787 Tom Jones April 9, Florida Theatre, 355-2787

26 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper There are plenty of versions of Christmas Carole out there. Even the Muppets got into the act back in 1992. While you may be able to find more than one twist on this charming tale, there is nothing quite like culture & arts christmas carole seeing it performed on stage, especially with a veteran DECEMBER actor like Tony Triano in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge. 7 Crystal Gayle: A Country Christmas UNF Fine Arts Center, Jax Triano has played the grumpy penny-pincher for the 7 JU First Coast Wind Ensemble Holiday Concert Terry a holiday classic at alhambra last 15 years and has perfected his performance so Concert Hall, Jax much so that his sneering of “bah, humbug!” was by kelliE abraHamSoN [email protected] 7 Holiday Hoopla-Live Music, Holiday Art Projects Cummer enough to make one of the smallest audience mem- Museum, Jax bers burst into tears (don’t worry, the trauma only lasted for a moment or two). Triano owns the stage 7 Christmas Art Sale Episcopal High School, Jax as Scrooge, coming off comical and cruel in the first 7-8 DASOTA Winter Vocal Concert Riverside Presbytarian act and sympathetic and lovable by the end. His man- Church, Jax nerisms, the blowing of raspberries after saying “bah, 7-9 “A Country Christmas Caper” Professor Plum’s Playhouse, Jax humbug”, the frog-like croaking when trying to even 7-10 St. Johns County Festival of Trees World Golf Village, say the word “Christmas,” are simply unforgettable St. Augustine and evoke big laughs from the audience, especially 7-14 Holiday Hoopla For Adults Cummer Museum, Jax from the children in attendance. 7-16 “A Tuna Christmas?” Players By the Sea, Jax Beach Triano’s fellow actors all hold their own in this production. Kenneth Uibel, who plays Jacob Marley 7-17 FCCJ Artist Series “Menopause The Musical” Performing Arts Center, Jax and all of the Ghosts of Christmas, morphs into each role flawlessly, never tipping off the audience that the 7-20 Precious Objects Exhibition Cultural Center, Ponte Vedra same actor is appearing on stage more than once as 7-24 “Christmas Carole” The Alhambra Dinner Theatre, Jax these supernatural characters. Matthew Jay Campbell, 7-24 “Every Christmas Story Ever Told! Shakespeare Festival who I’ve seen in productions of Beauty and the Beast UCF, Orlando and the school matinee performances Snow White 7-31 Visit With Santa Claus Adventure Landing, Jax Beach & Jax and the Seven Dwarves, does a nice job as Scrooge’s 7-JAN. 1 Plaza Ice Palace Downtown Community Plaza, Gainesville meek clerk Bob Cratchit. Daniel Goldman, a six-year- old Jacksonville native who has recently made a name 7-JAN. 7 Bloom: Paintings and Constructions by Luis Cruz for himself in Hollywood by playing the role of Cody Azaceta JMOMA, Jax in Showtime’s hit series Dexter, nearly stole the show 7-JAN. 7 Holiday Planetarium Programs MOSH, Jax as the irresistibly adorable Tiny Tim. Goldman, who is 8 19th Great American Jazz Series UNF Fine Arts Center, Jax only in the first grade, got quite a few reactions from 8 Yuletide Swing-Rivercity Band Jacoby Hall, Jax the crowd in the brief but pivotal role. Amanda Carlisle and Katie Scott both played minor characters but 8 “Sounds of the Season” Chorale FCCJ South Campus, Jax made impressions with their musical performances. 8 Nut Cracker Ballet Flagler Auditorium, Palm Coast The only play my children had ever attended was 8 Holiday Spectacular-Ritz Voices Ritz Theatre, Jax the school matinee Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 8 Holiday Slumber Party Story Time Barnes & Noble/San Jose, Jax I mentioned earlier. They seemed to really enjoy that one, but I was still a bit concerned that anything lon- 8-9 JSO “First Coast Nutcracker” Performing Arts Center, Jax ger would be too much for their attention spans. Were 8-9 Springfield Women’s Club Holiday Tour of Homes 210 W. 7th St., Jax it not for the intermission that may have been the 8-9 “Greetings!” First Coast Theatre, Jax The very first time I had ever been to the Al- fruit cocktail, chocolate cake and chocolate mousse case! Both kids watched the show intently during the 8-10 “Tiny Tim: A Christmas Carol Revisited” Orange Park hambra Dinner Theater was back in 2000. My then were served for dessert. The kids and I were particu- first act but immediately wanted to get up and stretch Community Theatre, Orange Park fiancée took me there as a birthday present and we larly pleased with the mousse, which was so yummy their legs during the break. My daughter, who is four, 8-JAN. 1 Exhibit: Small Packages Block 27 Gallery, Jax were lucky enough to see Charles Dickens’ classic I’m craving it right this second. By the time we were talked to me a bit about what she thought so far. Her story Christmas Carole. Six years and two kids later, through with dinner it was time for the show to begin. opinion at the half way point was “Mr. Scrooge is 9 San Marco Preservation Society Home Tour Historic Area, Jax my husband and I got the opportunity to see this won- Ebenezer Scrooge is the world’s biggest mean!” By the end of the show, however, my little 9 Holiday Dodgeball Tournament Jax Indoor Sports, Jax derful holiday favorite once again, this time with the tightwad. He cares about nothing but money and girl was smiling from ear to ear and is still quoting 9 Regatta of Lights Bridge of Lions, St. Augustine little ones in tow. The Alhambra’s terrific adaptation of hordes all that he earns, unwilling to part with one Scrooge’s famous “bah, humbug” nearly a week later. 9 POW! Authors/Artists Holiday Open House Ramada Inn, Mandarin Christmas Carole is running from now until Christmas red cent even to help those in need. On Christmas My two-year-old son has also taken a liking to the Eve. Eve, Scrooge, left all alone after finally allowing his phrase, although I think it’s because of the raspberries 9 Mayor’s Holiday Festival for Senior Citizens Prime Osborn Center, Jax We arrived at the theater about 30 minutes into employee to go home for the night, finds himself he gets to blow at the end. the dinner service (a buffet is served for an hour face to face with the spirit of his deceased partner Christmas Carole is easily my favorite play to 9 Soul Release Live Boomtown, Jax and fifteen minutes before curtain). The meal was Jacob Marley. Marley, tormented and forced to wear see at the Alhambra. The story always puts me in a 9 Breakfast With Santa MOSH, Jax absolutely delicious, with items at are both kid and heavy chains because of his stinginess in life, warns great mood and I don’t think I’ll ever be bored of it. If 9 CattyShack Christmas CattyShack Wildlife Sanctuary, Jax adult-friendly. My two children tore into the baked Scrooge of his selfishness and tells him that three you’re not quite feeling the holiday spirit yet, a visit to 9 17th Annual Luminary & Christmas Tree Lighting Arlington chicken while my husband and I opted for the down- ghosts will visit him during the night to show him the the Alhambra this month will quickly turn that around. Park Cemetary, Jax home meatloaf and the chef carved roast beef. Jello, err of his ways. For tickets and more information call (904) 641-1212. 9 Altered Dance & Music JU Swisher Theatre, Jax 9 Children’s Holiday Party-American Cancer Society Fairgrounds, Jax 9 “The Nutcracker” Florida Ballet Amelia Island Plantation, Amelia Island 9-10 San Marco Preservation Society Home Tour Downtown/ San Marco, Jax 9-10 First Coast Shorus Holiday Postcards Riverside House, Jax 10 Craft Craft Revolution-Gift Wrapping Workshop Anomaly, Jax 10 First Coast Nutcracker-JSO Performing Arts Center, Jax 10 Comedian Katt Williams Florida Theatre, Jax 10 Johnny Appleseed & A Christmas Carol-Children’s Theatre Main Library, Jax 11 FCCJ Artist Series-George Carlin Performing Arts Center, Jax 11 The Laurel & Hardy Appreciation Society Library/Pablo Creek, Jax 12 Christmas From Dublin Flagler Auditorium, Palm Coast

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 27 12 Winter Orchestra Concert DASOTA, Jax 12 15th Annual Tree of Life Celebration-Community Hospice Earl B. Hadlow Center, Jax 13 Peter White Christmas Florida Theatre, Jax a tuna christmas 13 FMPTA’s 2nd Annual Holiday Ring-a-Ding Party Boomtown, Jax 13 Auditions FCCJ Repertory & Ensemble Dance Companies pbts theatre review FCCJ South Campus, Jax 13 “The Santaland Diaries” Oasis Theatre MOCA, Jax by dick kerekes [email protected] 14 Holiday Hoopla-Live Music, Holiday Art Projects Cummer Museum, Jax Players by the Sea in Jacksonville Beach 14-16 Fruits of the Spirit Art Show Bethel Gallery, Ponte Vedra opened its annual December show with the Ed How- 14-16 EB Scrooge” A Southern Fried Carol , Jax ard, Joe Sears and Jason Williams’ comedy A TUNA 14-16 Comedian Adam Ace Atlantic Theatres, Atlantic Beach CHRISTMAS. 14-JAN. 7 “Greetings! Limelight Theatre, St. Augustine This sequel to the hit Greater Tuna is the story of twenty-two residents of Tuna Texas on Christmas 15 Holiday Sounds-Riverside Fine Arts Series Church of the Good Shepherd, Jax Eve and they are all played by two actors, Anthony Hodge and Tom Ming and a vast wardrobe with lots 15 How To use Plants For the Holidays Duval County Extension Service, Jax of wigs. The plot presents several comical questions: 15-16 Florida Ballet “The Nutcracker” , Jax Florida Theatre Who will win the holiday lawn display trophy that has 15-16 “Greetings!” First Coast Theatre, Jax been won for fourteen years by Vera Carp? Where 15-17 JSO “Holiday Pops” Performing Arts Center, Jax will the mysterious Christmas Phantom strike next 16 Rusty Evans in A Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute Thrasher as he or she plays havoc destroying yard displays all Horne Center, Orange Park over town? Will the Smut Snatchers committee that 16 The Cracked Nut Flagler Auditorium, Palm Coast censors events in the town close down the annual version of A Christmas Carol? Or will the City cut off 16 Home for the Holidays-JSO Performing Arts Center, Jax the electricity to the playhouse for an over due light 16 Art Adventures-Card Making Cummer Museum, Jax bill? There are many other hilarious subplots to keep 16 The Children’s Christmas Party of Jacksonville Prime Osborn you on the edge of your seat for over laugh filled Center, Jax hours. 16 A Johnny Cash Holiday Tribute Thrasher Horne Center, The amazing part of this show is that Mr. Orange Park Hodge and Mr. Ming give each of the eleven roles 16 Soul Release Poetry Boomtown, Jax they each play distinctive personalities not only with the amazing costume changes, but also with dif- 16 Annual Living Nativity “The Perfect Gift” Holy Family Catholic Church, Jax ferent voices and body language. At the end of the show they received a rousing standing ovation for 16 FCCJ Artist Series-Big Band Broadcast FCCJ Wilson Center, Jax their incredible timing and unique characterizations. 17 JSO Sounds of the Season Performing Arts Center, Jax It was richly deserved. 17 First Coast Clarinet Society Concert Main Library, Jax John Pope, a polished and professional char- 17 Hip Hop & Gospel Youth Ministry holiday Celebration acter actor who has appeared with every theatre in in less than a minute. explores many stereotypes, but if you listen very Wyndham Riverwalk, Jax town in two short years in Jacksonville, did a mag- Stage Manager Merrylin Opendo and her stage closely there is a lot of truth and reality in this fast crew, Joanne Stovall, Gayle Featheringill, and Ruth paced show. As one of the characters said, “Censor- 18-JAN 5 Holiday Zoo Camp For Children Jax Zoo, Jax nificent job of direction. He put in those little bits of business for the actors to do that put this show over Thomas handled the lighting-quick set changes. ship is as American as apple pie”, and Director Pope 20-21 “The Santaland Diaries” Oasis Theatre , Jax MOCA the top. (One of my favorites was the invisible dog.) They moved seven different Christmas trees on and edited out the few minor profanities I knew existed in 21 JSO-Christmas With Clay Aiken Performing Arts Center, Jax Set Designer Anne Roberts has fashioned the off for the various scenes in the play and they made the script. Oh, there are a couple of cheap low scale 21 An Artful Celebration Cummer Museum, Jax outline of the state of Texas, using the back walls it look easy! laughs in the show, but they are few and far between Ryan Maloney as Technical Director created and it is mostly just good clean fun. 21-JAN. 29 FAB Fest: Future Artists of the Beaches Cummer Museum, Jax as the top of the state and a hardwood floor on the stage as the remainder of the Lone Star State. It is a a visual feast with the lights, and was right on the Ming and Hodge are at their funniest in Act II, 22-23 “Santaland Diaries” , Atlantic Beach ABET truly unique and eye catching design. money with all the many sound effects and the won- as restaurant waitresses at the Tastee Freeze, but I 22-MAR. 18 Temples and Tombs: Treasures of Egyptian Art The costume queen sisters strike again!! Yes, derful music during the scene changes. am sure you will have your favorite character before Cummer Museum, jax Camela Grogan & Dorina Pitts, costume designers Kudos as well to Joanne Stovall in charge of the night is over. 27-29 Holiday Camps MOSH, Jax extraordinaire fashioned the colorful and at times the props, for locating the many wacky items that Don’t miss this show; it is the funniest of the 31 “Murder on the Happy Trail” Dave & Buster’s, Jax very funny clothing, They, no doubt used a ton of found their way on to the set. year. A Christmas Tuna runs through December l6th A Christmas Tuna is a lot of silliness that at Players by the Sea, l06 Sixth Street, Jacksonville 31 New Year’s Eve Celebration Downtown, Jax velcro in designing them so they could be changed Beach. The 24 hours a day reservation number is 31 Beach Blast Off 2007-Fireworks & Chili Cook Off The Pier, 249-2022. Visit their excellent website to see pic- St. Augustine Beach tures from the show and for more information. www. 31 Noon Year’s Eve w/Radio Disney Jax Zoo, Jax playersbythesea.org. 31-FEB. 17 “The Makeover Murders” Professor Plum’s Playhouse, Jax

JANUARY 3-5 Holiday Camps MOSH, Jax 4-6 JSO “Beethovan’s Emperor” Performing Arts Center, Jax 5 Saturday Night Reunion Tour-Joe Piscopo, Victoria Jackson, Father Guido Sarducci Flagler Auditorim, Palm Coast 6 Jane Austin Society Meeting European Street, Jax 6 Story Time-Meet The Author “Ocean Commotion” Barnes & Noble/San Jose, Jax 11 FCCJ Artist Series-One Thousand and One Nights Performing Arts Center, Jax 12 An Evening of Musical Song & Dance Thrasher Horne Center, Orange Park 12 JSO “How Suite It Is!” Performing Arts Center, Jax

28 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper is, I don’t hear anyone complaining about prices, or who’s got tickets, or who ISN’T going. See, that’s the thing around here. To all Gator fans, including greetings those who actually WENT to the college, and the many ignorants who think Florida is a professional franchise, money isn’t an issue with Gator football. first coast theatre review Some fans are totally obsessed with the boys, and THE this BCS game to some is better than the best sex by dick kerekes [email protected] they’ve ever had. JOCK On the other hand, Gator basketball is almost non-existent. Some Gator fans don’t even know the witty spirit, Lucius (that’s the paranormal part of BY: TOM WEPPEL team has started their season already. Its almost the play). Lucius challenges the core values of a joke. I’m surprised Billy Donovan is still at the each individual in a unique way and sets to heal- school, because there are at least twenty other ing this family. programs around the country with a much stronger Bob Pogachnik is perfectly cast as Phil, the Random thoughts from a cluttered mind... following of their team than Florida has. hard to please, grouchy, and opinionated father And so, the next few weeks will be filled with ala Archie Bunker style. Kathryn Hill may be the JAGUARS discussion about practices, as the boys prepare for most underrated actress in Jacksonville. In the Alright! This Jaguars team, which has become their game in Arizona on January 8th. And we can roles I have seen her in, she always gives a solid a totally unpredictable, yet fairly entertaining adven- talk more about how there shouldn’t be nearly as performance and as Emily she is excellent as the ture of a group, comes home this Sunday to face many bowl games as there are. peacemaker who has had to tolerate an ill-tem- the dreaded Colts. At 7-5, the Jags are right in the Excuse me. Did they play the ACC game? Did pered husband for years. middle of the playoff hunt, but in a precarious posi- they pick the teams for the Gator Bowl? Is Clemson Mr. Logsdon and Ms. Searcy are well tion, in having to essentially win out to get in. coming? How about Georgia, or perhaps South matched as the romantic couple and have both The victory over Miami was a strong showing Carolina and Spurrier? been active in various roles on First Coast Stage. for the Jags, in many ways. They picked up their It seems the Gator Bowl is gonna have a tough Both did shows at Theater Jacksonville last year. passing game a tad, with David Garrard getting the time selling out their game on January 1st. There Kenny was marvelous as the young preacher ball to Matt Jones for once. The running game con- certainly won’t be a lot of Georgia Tech fans here. in God’s Man in Texas and Erin was equally im- tinued to show diversity, with Maurice Jones-Drew West Virginia does indeed have a decent following, pressive as a concerned military wife in “Silent and Fred Taylor getting good yards. And the defense but not enough to keep things exciting. And my Heroes”. did a good job in making stops when they had to. guess is that most local fans are more interested in I have seen Mark Rubens in every play he Now this weekend, they have to do what they the Jaguars, Gators, and Bulldogs, then what will be has done in this city, and I have been impressed did last week, and combine it with some of the other happening in Alltel Stadium on New Years Day. with his versatility as an actor. Playing Mickey, a strong showings they’ve given us this season at The Gator Bowl Committee certainly has some mentally retarded adult, he gives a tour de force home against the Steelers and Jets. In playing the talking to do to get their alliance working the way performance and I can’t name many actors that Colts, Jacksonville must move the ball effectively on they want it to. could do this role. offense, then stop Peyton Manning and his brethren Tom Weppel talks trash on Thursdays from 7-8 My experience is that audiences are uncomfort- with a good, solid, defensive performance. Indy p.m. on WIOJ-AM 1010, and on SportsAvengers. able with mental illness on stage, but Mark made comes off a loss to the Titans. They will want to com 24/7. Mickey a likable character that we could relate make a nice rebound off that game by pulling off a to. When he changes to his alter ego, Lucius, win on Sunday. Tom Dudzik’s Greetings, is the current produc- Rubens moves to another level in acting with a And so, we’ll see what happens. It should be a tion of First Coast Theatre Arts in Riverside and will be superb characterization. Bravo Mr. Rubens good one, without question. on stage until December 16th. With a title of Greetings, First Coast Theatre Artistic Director Bill Kroner this sounds like a Christmas play. It does take place directed this play and this is the fourth time he has NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE on Christmas Eve, but the play deals with family is- done it, he knows the material well. His direction was As you know, the Jags are in a wild card sues, religion, mental illness and the paranormal. very insightful and exceptionally sharp and crisp. Kro- horse race with four other teams, all who have 7-5 Andy Gorski(Kenny Logsdon) and his fiancée, ner also designed the cozy living room of the Gorski records. This weekend, the JETS, hosting Buffalo, JACKSONVILLE Randi Stein (Erin Searcy) fly from New York to Pitts- home that has the feeling of a strong religious family. and the BENGALS, hosting the RAIDERS, should burgh to spend Christmas with Andy’s Catholic family Reggie Cauthen operated the lights and sound, have good wins and get to 8-5. But the BRONCOS, consisting of, his father Phil (Robert Pogachnik), and the choice of scene change music was excellent who are at San Diego, and the CHIEFS, who host the mother Emily (Kathryn Hill) and brother Mickey (Mark and put us in a holiday mood. RAVENS, might have some trouble. help wanted. Rubens). This show sounds very serious, but the subjects The NFC has teams competing as well, al- we are seeking a professional, enthusiastic person Complications set in from the get go, when are handled with humor and it is actually quite funny. though it seems mediocrity is quite prevalent. to represent the area’s leading weekly entertainment Andy announces he is going to marry Randi and it The play has some very touching moments between Obviously, these next four weeks will be closely publication. this is an exciting oppurtunity to deal directly with leading entertainment venues is learned she is Jewish and an atheist. Mickey is a Mickey and his family that will tug at your heart watched, just to see who holds up and wins, and and businesses and to promote exciting mentally challenged adult and has only uttered only strings. I highly recommend this show for this time of who falls off the wayside. When that happens, look new movie premiers. two phrases his entire life, wow and oh boy. Mickey’s the year. Call 387 5276 for reservations. The theatre is for heads to roll, on the field AND on the sidelines. body is suddenly temporarily inhabited by a wise and located at l0l4 King St. (right next to the Burger King). sales experience is preferred, COLLEGE FOOTBALL What I’ve been hearing and reading is how it enthusiasm necessary.

isn’t going to be cheap to get out to Arizona for the (904) 730-3003 · BCS game with the Gators and Buckeyes. Only thing a locally and family owned business for over 25 years.

eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 29 should make for January First. Don’t be shy with me, if you do someone may expect it all the time and we nascar news & notes if there’s that little something special you want for a know who that is, she’ll have ya raking the yard or gift, email me and I’ll share it here, maybe someone cleaning the pool, relax and get ready for the new by RICHARD TEAGUE [email protected] will know it is you and you’ll get it. Why write Santa, season. he’s busy as a well digger, write me and I’ll see what Well I guess it’s get back to the other things Is it over or what? I mean really, everyone has us Brian--not you. I tell you one thing I like about I can do. LOL I do well, like polishing my little cars or surfing the gotten their checks and trophies. The checks are Kevin Harvick’s new sponsor and that is because it’s I haven’t given y’all much news or notes this web, I got an idea, think I’ll go bid on some diecast in the bank and some debts are paid back, some an OIL COMPANY and the funny thing is I don’t use time but I’m still having fun with the column and it’s on eBay, got to be some deals there. I’m really try- have a little walking around money they kept out. Shell gas so I’m watching one of my guys for free. more like sharing my thoughts and opening myself ing to save my small allowance for February so I New things have been bought for family members Speaking of Kevin and Shell, this will be the so you can see how I feel when there’s no racing. I can reap a harvest of things at good prices, down such as wives, girlfriends and of course Moms & first time that the words Goodwrench won’t be on a am bored to death when the cars aren’t going around in Daytona and if I can get my boss too sign me Dads have been given a gratuity for all the years RCR car in many years. Yea sure, there’ll be a little a track and Mr. France isn’t doing something dumb up for another season, I’ll give y’all a report about they raised their youngins and stuck with them. The bitty sticker some where on the car but not a whole or this driver ain’t mad at that driver because he did the shopping there. Now for those Christmas lists trophies are all locked up nice and safe in the display hood or quarter parts covered with it. Kind of a sad a no-no in a race. Yeah sure, I could watch college and/or New Year’s Resolutions, send them to me at cases at the offices and shops of the owners. That feeling just thinking about it, but then I wonder what or NFL games and yeah the bowl series is fixing to [email protected] and remember, IF IT AIN’T big rascal Jimmie got his real shiny making everyone with Dale Junior’s contact up in 2007, will we see be upon us but that’s rat’s butt stuff compared to NASCAR, IT AIN’T SH*T!!! at Hendrick Motorsport smile, not to mention those a black #3 Bud car and maybe a bigger G M on it? NASCAR. You think I end my article each week just guys at Lowe’s grinning from one ear to the other. When I ask, is it over or what? I mean that with Gen- because I want a catchy little saying at the end, well I bet JJ hasn’t stopped smiling since he won it a eral Motors and others that have been around for so your wrong as wrong can be about that, if’n it ain’t couple of weeks back and Jeff is probably just as long leaving the sport, it’s got to be over. Look ahead then by golly it ain’t!! Racing is about the only joy happy for him, well maybe not that happy, since he at the changes that will take place over the next few I have in life, well not really but its number two or didn’t win it. years and how NASCAR’s new way of thinking as three, behind my family and my new job. I know we all saw, heard and read about the to the money side and not the loyalty it owes to you You know, I guess I could watch reruns and amount of money handed out by NASCAR alone and the drivers and teams. Can this really be the old races on ESPN or some channel but heck, it just and with the other companies passing bucks around beginning of the end as some people think, myself ain’t the same when you know who’s going to win, like it grew on trees was astounding. They said that included? ain’t no drama. Yeah, drama for a whole season and this was the biggest pay day NASCAR ever paid Well I know racing ain’t over with just yet, but not just for the last ten races Brian, every race is out since Big Bill France slipped Lee Petty a C Note the season is, and with the few months ahead until chock , just like I am sometimes, but I pass for racing back in their day. Yeah, back in the day the Bud Shootout, I’ll just have to do like y’all, find it once and awhile. Sundays are in a different light when cars didn’t have all the fancy sponsors and a other things to do with my time. Guess I could go when there isn’t a race, I get to catch up with those guy would pull his car behind the family sedan or Christmas shopping and get my wife something nice things I need to do like go to a movie or take a nap. I even drive it to the race, money and racing sure has but for the life of me I can’t figure out what to get bet y’all been doing those honey dos for the past few changed. Now I see why Baby Brian is so hard set to her, I mean she’s got me hasn’t she? No I’m not go- weekends and making things look good around the make NASCAR the most expensive sport ever. You ing to start naming my list yet but maybe next week house for the holidays. Don’t work too hard because would think he felt that all that money came out of I’ll share what I and a few others just might want his pocket but we know just exactly where it is was Santa to bring our way. Then after Christmas there pulled from, people like you and me, the fans. are those New Year’s resolutions I’m going to make. Now they sit there and say that the sponsors Perhaps I’ll talk about a few my drivers might or and owners put up most of the money for racing but who do they think they are fooling, we are the ones that have to buy the products from the spon- sors, that’s where it comes from. When you go to Lowe’s or Home Depot and any other sponsor’s business, you put that check in that driver’s hand. We all know this and I guess it’s just that extra feel- ing of supporting your driver that makes you do it. If Mr. France thinks that he put the big bucks up this year he’s wrong. Even with the big TV deals and all the new ways for NASCAR to make money it’s still

30 december 7-13, 2006 | entertaining u newspaper eujacksonville.com | december 7-13, 2006 31