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Empire Records r Friday, December 25, 2009 www.thenational.ae The N!tion!l Saloon Deck the malls of Wafi City Big Idea Hamas review comes to a three- way fork in the road Books England’s forgotten revolution Last Word Shooting pictures of wrestling th in Varanasi Jason Larkin for The National Salt of this sea Jack Shenker reports from Karakalpakstan, where the greatest man-made ecological catastrophe of the 20th century has left chaos, illness and poverty in its wake r4 The N!tion!l 02 Friday, December 25, 2009 www.thenational.ae review th saloon Miracle on 34th Street – or Sheikh Zayed Road, as the case may be. Everett Collection Claus before the storm Kris Kringle stops by his Dubai office One afternoon last week, Santa people realise they won’t be getting that to Mrs Claus when I go back at Claus leaned back on a folding chair anything under the tree, they start to night. She’ll open a database, look at in an unoccupied shop at Wafi City think differently.” what that child got last year, wheth- and ran his fingers through his griz- At this point, a PR woman entered er they’ve been good or bad, shoot zled beard. Claus had been making the room and offered Claus a bot- the order down to inventory, where appearances at the mall every day tle of chilled spring water, which a senior elf will make sure we’ve got since December 3, and was antici- seemed to cheer him up. “You know, the stock, after which dispatch loads pating a busy week ahead. “Every I have the best job in the world,” he the sleigh.” year I feel a little bit older,” he said. said between sips. “Seeing the smil- In recent years, efficiency rates at “I’ve been doing this a long time.” ing faces of all those children makes his North Pole operation have al- The store, not far from the everything worthwhile.” When lowed Claus to offset his expenses higgledy-piggledy cottage in which asked about the flip-side of this – the by subcontracting to toy compa- Claus had entertained a parade of bad kids who receive a lump of coal nies. “We make a lot of toys under excitable children over the previous – Claus frowned. “I don’t encourage licence,” he explained. “Financially, two weeks, had been turned into a the use of coal, which is an ineffi- we’re doing OK.” Forfeiting his not- makeshift break room. The floor cient, carbon-producing product,” for-profit status, however, has come was strewn with Christmas-related he said, choosing his words care- with a price – particularly in the area detritus: bits of tinsel, elf-wear, tags. fully. “We traded out that practice of labour relations. “Our elves are Claus tilted his head back, revealing some years ago.” very well looked after, but we had a tendrils of off-white nostril hair, and Overall, Claus continued, his op- slight problem last month. They’ve began to describe his increasingly eration is a lot more modern than seen what Obama’s doing in the US, complicated life. “Ho-ho-ho!” he people imagine. “It’s all computer- and some of them have been push- started out, unconvincingly. ised,” he said. “I’m fully wired.” He ing for a National Elf System.” Claus was wearing a red suit with also employs a state-of-the-art dis- In the silence that followed this white fur trim and a pair of heavy tribution system, which is overseen remark, you could make out the black boots. His hat lay on the table by a Danish firm that specialises in sound of nearby children, their chat- before him. While his eyes twinkled holiday logistics. “Let’s say a child tering rising in pitch and volume. and his cheeks glowed, his words at Wafi gives me a letter. I can bring There would be a mass of these suggested a dark undercurrent. kids by now, all of them squirming The 21st century, Claus revealed, with anticipation, each harbouring has introduced challenges he could a list of Christmas wishes that, to never have imagined back in the Claus’s ear, often sound more like olden days, when he started his ca- " demands. The PR woman appeared reer. Global warming is melting the Let’s say a child at again, this time bearing nothing snow around his North Pole head- but a battered clipboard.“I’ll be flat quarters, while population growth Wafi gives me a letter. out until December 26,” Claus said, is stretching his magic to its limits. I can bring that to Mrs putting his hat on. “After this, we’ll “What to do?” he said. Claus when I go back do our customer satisfaction sur- Traditionally, Claus has remained veys, then we’ll start planning for an apolitical figure, but this, too, is at night. She’ll open next year. In my line of work, there’s starting to change. In recent years, a database, look at very little down time.” he said, his home base has become In the room’s unforgiving fluores- the focal point of increasingly fervid what that child got cent light, you could make out the geopolitical jockeying. “You know last year, whether capillaries in Claus’s rosy cheeks how governments are vying for they’ve been good or – the manifestations of exertion, mineral rights on the South Pole? stress and too much sherry. To avoid Well, these same people are trying bad complete burnout, Claus does allow to claim Santa’s Kingdom as their Santa Claus himself one holiday a year. “I like own,” he said. “I’ve been telling the Caribbean, which is nice and politicians who are getting too upp- warm,” he said. “What I do is, I’ll put ity to watch out or they won’t get any on a pair of psychedelic board shorts presents this year.” So far, all but and a Grateful Dead T-shirt and tie the Russians and the French have my hair in a ponytail. This way, eve- backed down. ryone thinks I’m an ageing hippie. Claus is also taking a harder line It’s the only way I get any peace.” against copyright infringement. “I hate to say this, but there are people For adult eyes only: Ian McKellar, 40, who dress like me, who use my im- is CEO and founder of the Jugglebox, age to sell things,” he said. “We’ve a Dubai-based company that special- been talking to the IP department of ises in educational theatre. He is also one of the larger law firms, looking a comedy juggler, comedy keynote into various trademark breaches.” speaker and conference host. Origi- Claus is loath to become ensnared nally from Australia, McKellar has in messy global lawsuits, however, been playing Santa Claus for the last choosing instead to play – once four years. He really does love his job. again – the Santa card. “Mostly it just takes a quiet word: as soon as * Chris Wright The N!tion!l Friday, December 25, 2009 www.thenational.ae 03 review th thethe big idea week the tangled web !!! " Insurgents hack US drones Militants in Iraq have used $26 (Dh95) off-the-shelf software to in- tercept live video feeds from US Predator drones, potentially pro- viding them with information they need to evade or monitor US military operations. Senior defence and intelligence officials said Iranian-backed insurgents intercepted the video feeds by taking advantage of an unprotected communications link in some of the remotely flown planes’ systems. Shiite fighters in Iraq used software programs such as SkyGrabber – available for as little as $25.95 on the inter- net – to regularly capture drone video feeds, according to a person familiar with reports on the matter. US officials say there is no evidence that militants were able to take control of the drones or otherwise interfere with their flights. Still, the intercepts could give America’s enemies battlefield advan- tages by removing the element of surprise from certain missions and making it easier for insurgents to determine which roads and buildings are under US surveillance. The drone intercepts mark the emergence of a shadow cyber war within the US-led conflicts overseas. They also point to a poten- tially serious vulnerability in Washington’s growing network of unmanned drones, which have become the American weapon of choice in both Afghanistan and Pakistan. The Obama administration has come to rely heavily on the unmanned drones because they allow the US to safely monitor and stalk insurgent targets in areas where sending American troops would be either politically untenable or too risky. The stolen video feeds also indi- cate that US adversaries continue to find simple ways of counteract- ing sophisticated American mili- tary technologies. Siobhan Gorman, Yochi J Dreazen Hamas supporters attend a rally to mark the 22nd anniversary of the group’s founding in Gaza City on December 14, 2009. Hatem Moussa / AP Photo and August Cole The Wall Street Journal wsj.com ‘Hack’ may be too strong a word “Hack” is a really strong word to use in this scenario. How do you “hack” a signal that’s floating out in the atmosphere, unencrypted? Also, the word “hack” indicates you may have gained a level of con- trol, and there’s no reported evidence that insurgents have found a Coming of age way to take over a Predator (a really scary concept, considering that many of these drones are armed). Incredibly, this video was not en- crypted – meaning the US military had a lower level of security for this valuable video than you probably have for your wireless home network.
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