UD Sold to Disney

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UD Sold to Disney In Sports In Section 2 Contact BonJovi pinochle Happy Apri.l Fools Day rocks out at club the Bob formed page AS page A9 FREE Non-profit Org. U.S. Postage Paid TUESDAY Volume 122, Number 45 Newark, DE ESC Permit No. 26 April 1, 1996 250 Student Center, University of Delaware, Newark, DE 19716 Godchow ressurects ilburfest BY CARLA CLAPSATTEL thousands of dollars donated annually to 74. of Prospect Street. said she had no Godchow, however, refuses to discuss the Staph Rtporrtr 4 ,600 students registered to vote in the the Embalmus House, a so-cal led complaints about Wilburfest until 1992, city code he successfu ll y lobbied for last Newark counr il elections, had influenced In a surprising turnaround , Helmut rehabilitative homeless shelter in Newark when she was struck on the head by a year, which effectively defeated Wilburfest his decision to host the party, Godchow ("Hell") Godchow- the Newark city - Wilburfest had come under increasing flying hibatchi while attending the festival. by stipulating that a gathering of 500 or replied. "Not at all. I have had a sincere counci I man who successfully legislated fire from the Newark community in recent "I enjoy the celebratory nature of more people constitutes a public, not a change of heart, following a near-death Wilburfest out of existence last year - has years. Complaints against the festival Wilburfest," Sludgwick said. "I e njoy private. affair, and must therefore request experience with a Jamaican hot pepper." volunteered to ressurect the event this include underage public drinking, public spending time with the youngsters. I even clearance from Newark Police. Godchow explained that while hi s body spring. and to host it in his backyard. urination, and more than six inches of ruled the mosh pit for a while - till "Fuck 'em," he said. " I made up that was technically dead for three full minutes "I must regretfully admit I was a little underwear worn above the pants. somebody pegged my noggin with 50 rule, and now I'm tossing it out. As for th e last month, he wi tnessed a bright red light hasty last year," Godchow said in a press " I don ' t mind a little noise now and pounds of cast iron." cops, Bill [Hoagie, chief of police] knows and an intense bombardment of heat. conference Monday. "I wasn · t thinking again:· said Horatio Wyaduck, a Wilbur After an abortive attempt to relocate which side his bread is buttered on. And "It really changed my life," he said. enough of the fine young pe ople of ewark Street neighbor, "but these kids just don' t Wilburfest to nearby Pennsylvania which side has dijon mu s tard with The revival of Wilburfest is scheduled and their recreation.'' have any respect for their elders. I mean, farmland last spring - with the condition horseradish on it. and wh1ch has imitation for Saturday, May 4. at 2372 Spooge Mill Godchow called the conference, he what they' re doing out there, in plain view that no alcohol would be served or cholesterol-free mayonnaise and sprouts, Road. Buttons required for ad mi ssion will said, "to hopefully ameliorate any hard ... in the name of fun ... and with those permitted - it appeared to the organizers, and whi ch has garlic-anchovy paste and be on sale "later this week" at various feelings that may exist between university tattoes with naked people .. and those the participants and city council that romaine lettuce. Ya get my drift?"' Main Street outlets, according to festival students and myself." pieces of metal in their bodies .. all over Wilburfes t was morally, ethically, Godch ow has further promi ed to organizer Charlotte Noseroller. Scheduled Wilburfest is an all-d1y music fe stival their bodies ... their pale young bodies ... spiritually. phys ically, positively. provide sufficient beer and other libations bands include R azor Bleu. linus, Christ that has traditionally taken place every in the most distressing of places " absolutely, undeniably and reliably dead. to ·'get the whole place wrecked - those with Croutons , Boy Sets Hair, Mamma spring since the 1970s in !he backyards of Wyaduck shuddered and could not Now, Godchow has reinvented the fest, over seven years old, anyway:· Leone's Bright Red Dildo, Catheterpillar, five duplex houses on Wilbur Street. continue. inviting organizers to put th e event in his When asked whether the recent voter and Oboe-37. Despite it c haritable c ontributions- Another neighbor, Hypolita Sludgwick, spacious backyard o n Spooge Mill Road. registration drive on campus, in which ·over Activist clowns UD march on Main St. sold to Public reaction to march is exceedingly negative; clowns cite la_ck of respect for Disney their essential clownhood. Officials BY COOKIE MONSTER we're people too, dammit." Pusrn Fiend The clowns' procession down Main foresee pest­ An angry band of clowns known as The Street went off with only a tew hitches. Sad Freaks paraded tl uwn Main Street last Locals Jason Brathead and Pippy Wednesday in d s how of ··unity , Dukidace, who are both members of the control atonement and that ba,tcally, we' re p(etty Newark Anti-Clown As-sociation, sprayed pissed off about cvcrythtng," according to the clow n s with water bottles, threw problems clown leader Joe Mamma. clown noses at them and tried to run over Mamma broke do wn the three - fold a few in a suped up clown car. BY DIPPSY 000 purpose o f th t! march in an e xclus ive "We hate clowns and we want them all Fr·ec: O .<; a Bt rJ intetview outsHh: ol Treat' s Restaurant. dead,'' Dukieface said . " They' re not Mickey, Minnie, Donald and "We wanted to show that we are unified funny, they're not entertaining and they Goofy will be ·crambling on up to as clown because we're a pretty rare really have no purpose at all. Why ask Delaware. Last Friday morning, the breed, man," Mamma said. "Not too many why?" Walt Disney Corporation purchased people want to be happy all day , you Sophomore George Buschbeer, who the University of Delaware for know. W:1en we get home, we just want to watched the parade from a safe distance $123,854,059,993,339 University down a few hots, kick our pels around for because "those maniacs scared" him, had President David S. Roper said . The an hour and pas out." many choice words for t he clow ns and buyout was announced at a pre s He said the "atonement" portion of the their message. conference in Smith Hall Friday by clowns· message was designed to make up "Those crillers really need to get a life. Di sney President and CEO Rich for any harm clowns may have brought to For o n e thing, being a clown is bad Bastard , with Roper. popular society. enough," Buschbeer said . "But these Di sney actre s Pocahontas and "We've screwed up at times. and we hippogriffs have to march down Main other Disney staff standing close know that. D . Ray o ver there came to a Street to show the whole damn town just beside him. circus in Lexington wasted and urinated how eerie and demented they really are." "Having such wealthy partners all o ver three little ktds. This one guy AI Sharpenedpencil. head of the like the people at Disney is a great Bubba dropped stx clowns when he was university's Affirmative Action asset to further inc reasing the carrying them around. So we ' ve messed department, call ed the march "silly"' and diversity of our fair community," up and we want to say we' re sorry, you "degrading.'" said Roper as he wa stuffing his kno \\ '1" ' '"I'm not even going to say anything briefcase with stacks of $ 100 dollar Mamma went on pin the ··anger" he and about this. These loon don't merit me bills. "Now if you' ll excuse me, I hi fellow clo wn s were feeling on the wasting any of my breath on them. Yuck. am going to the Bahamas to down ·' negative conno tations·· placed upon Ick. Blah. Ugh," Sharpenedpencil said, some seri ous gin." clowns in movies and the "dubious roles" spitting and spinning like a man possessed Di s ney has yet to release its that clowns are always given in fi lm s. in his swivel chair. THE RESCEW I John Reiffel pl ans fo r the univers ity to the '·How many horror movies have you National clown figures reacted to the Chief clown organizer Joe Mamma, of the Sad Freaks, sums up his public, but Bastard did li st a few seen with a clown as the killer? H ow march with a strange mixture of euphoria feelings at a Clown Power march on Main Street last Wednesday. items on the agenda. Soon the bricks of the university's walkways about ' Killer Klowns From Outer Space'? and nonsense. So me Newark locals were actually in H o use,'' o n to p of the tennis courts on will be painted gold and have What wa that all about?'' Mamma asked "I think that it's great that someone is favor of the march. Academy Street. When confronted with m o no-rai ls built over them , of no one in particular. finally aying something. I tried to make "Those clowns were so nice," said Mrs. the idea that students might get a little according to Bastard. " And that part in 'Poltergeist' when the waves for years," said Ronald McDonald, Poole, a former star of TV's "The Hogan angry if hi s group did this, Mamma only "The univer ity looks too bland.
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