Endowment Falls 18 Percent Nobel Prize Recipient Selected

OP-ED P. 3 AftE P. 10 SPORTS P. 13 Battle with the Big Apple Welcome back to the tabletop Home sweet home How does H-Town measure up to New York in a battle of Peek inside to find out what Wiess One-Acts are up to this Football hosts Vanderbilt for the first home game tomorrow, so the titans? semester in Jane Labyer's theater review. join the body-painting, tailgating and Commodore-crushing.

VOLUME XCVII, ISSUE NO. 6 STUDENT-RUN SINCE 1916 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009

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No excuse not to The college, SA and GSA presidents and Dean of Undergraduates Robin Forman (sixth from left) take the first dip in the leisure pool at the new Barbara and David Gibbs Recreation and Wellness Center on Wednesday. In addition to the 2,500-sq. ft. pool, which is only four feet deep, the Rec Center will feature mul- look good at NOD tiple basketball and racquetball courts, a dance theater and banks of new workout machines. For a look inside Rice's newest addition, turn to page 8. Endowment falls 18 percent Nobel Prize recipient selected

BY JOSH RUTENBERG end of June 2008, had drop d to the endowment performed better to speak at commencement THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF $3.61 billion as of this June, is a than those at many of Rice's peer result of the endowment losses, institutions. Rice, along with most BY SETH BROWN the ordinary. I think he will." While Rice may not have lost as the university has mandated a national universities, reports its an- FOR THE THESHER Yunus, a Bangladeshi who re- much as of its investments as other 5 percent budget cut for each de- nual endowment each February to ceived a Ph.D. in economics from universities, its endowment still partment. Exactly what will be cut the National Association of College The Commencement Speaker Vanderbilt University in 1971, took a hit during the most recent has yet to be determined. and University Business Officers. Committee announced Monday began his business of lending recession. The endowment, which originally Associate Vice President for In- that Muhammad Yunus, the 2006 to the poor in 1976. He used the For fiscal year 2009, Rice in- consisted of $4.6 million that found- vestments Claire Nelson said for Nobel Peace Prize recipient and idea of microcredit, loaning small curred an 18.2-percent loss on the er William Marsh Rice left to the uni- fiscal year 2009 Harvard University Presidential Medal of Freedom re- amounts to those who need it, as endowment's investment returns, versity in his will in 1904, grows on reported a 27.3-percent loss in its cipient, will be the 2010 Rice com- a way to reduce poverty. His idea worth about $838 million. The interest and gifts each year. A por- $36.6-billion endowment, and Yale mencement speaker, concluding a has since grown into the Grameen university also spent $215 mil- tion of the endowment is budgeted University reported a 24.6-percent search process that lasted nearly Bank, which boasts nearly eight lion of the endowment, $55 mil- between department funds, schol- loss from its endowment of $22.9 six months. million members in Bangladesh, lion of which was recouped in arships, maintenance and athlet- billion. The national average for a Best known as one of the chief and which supports a number of endowment gifts, according to ics, and the remainder that grows university endowment loss fell at proponents and purveyors of mi- similar institutions throughout unaudited reports issued from the is invested in various assets, such around 17.2 percent. crocredit, Yunus is the founder of the world in parts of Asia, the Office of the Vice President for as private equity funds, real es- "We had a good, solid perfor- the Grameen Bank, which makes Middle East, North Africa, Sub- Investments Treasurer. tate, timber and energy invest- mance in a tough year," Nelson small loans to the poor that can be Saharan Africa, Latin America The report's final numbers ments and United States Bonds. said. "We haven't changed our ap- used to help start businesses. and the Caribbean. show that the endowment, which Despite a 17- to 18-percent drop proach policy-wise. We started The announcement of Yunus as the was valued at $4.61 billion at the in global stocks and bonds last year, O see ENDOWMENT, page 5 4* commencement speaker for this year's graduating class marks the end of a Rice endowment, 1999-2009 search which began in April, before Yunus is one of the the 2009 commencement ceremony. most prominent The selection committee is comprised of a group of undergraduate students, c c humanitarians out representing this year's and last year's c O c c 0 0 *—? 0 0 there. Hopefully in the senior classes, as well as Gustin and rz IE ***f IE spring he'll give us a three graduate students. IE r*- In IE Gustin, who has chaired the CO 0 «d- -sr CO perspective beyond committee for three consecutive OS CO as Os CO the ordinary. years, said the committee changed ri ci ci

GRAPHIC BY ERIC DOCTOR AND LOGAN BECK he'll give us a perspective beyond O see SPEAKER, page 7

Let's go dubbin' All in the family What a rec INDEX The deadline to renew registration for student This weekend is Families Weekend, which If you couldn't tell, today is the grand opening of the Opinion 3 clubs is next Thursday. Failure to register will means a healthy dosage of the Rice Phils, Barbara and David Gibbs Recreation and Wellness News 4 result in your bank account being frozen, all SpoCo and Baker Blues for you and your Center. Come enjoy the regal indoor swimming pool, Arts 81 Entertainment 10 family to enjoy. We encourage you to have reservations canceled and all advertisements weights fit for a king and. to top it all off, luxurious Sports 13 removed. This is the last chance to renew fun, but please, keep your parents under palm trees to bask in. Paying tuition never sounded Calendar 19 clubs like Procrastinators Anonymous. You'll control. You know how rowdy they can get so good. Backpage 20 get to that eventually, right? on their first weekend away horn home. 2 EDITORIAL THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009

A WEW VOMER'S FIRST PAYS AR RICE U. the Rice (Thresher X tfEED HU Do f'ALL. . N: iter.. •. PUN HERE / ^ OFTEN? y New Rec Center well /I worth the wait {>ID SHe \ \l T 0) 2 ?vsr Star. If the brand new Barbara and David Gibbs Recreation and Som,n »YAU."?! Wellness Center had opened last Wednesday, the odds of us STARED putting out this week's issue would have been as likely as fU>oD»^ 0 the football team cracking the top 25 in the polls. After looking over the Rec Center's litany of features comes with, there TReAU* is simply no way we would have elected to spend our time NEEDED A pumping out this Family's Weekend edition of the Thresher SHtwfcfc (see story, page 8). Just look at what Rice's newest addition has to offer. Brand new banks of cardio machines. A dance studio with springy floorboards. Stationary bikes that allow for spin classes without the instructor berating you for your lethargy. TH»S HOT THAT KlWr BE Haw IS HOUSTON \ (S 7HW6H Kalwall windows to both filter light and absorb excess heat, CEREAL TASTES BECAUSE ITS j\ To fcET To V preventing the body-odor humidity that we all love about FVIUKY, BEN WITH ACTUALLY GMVr. our local gyms. &RA/W 'I Pardon us while we pick our jaws up from the ground. To say this is an upgrade over Autry Gym is like calling Larry Slezak decent at the saxophone (see story, page 10). Did you ever think you would need your iPod to play video on your cardio machine? Heck, did you ever even imagine it? M All of this and the place will be LEED certified. Incredible. So what if no alcohol is allowed in the facility? The Rec Center may one day be open to hosting college nights or other college-associated events, but a tapped keg does not a party make. We won't need a Bud Light while we're loung- ing by the pool, taking in an outdoor basketball game while we wait for the pool's length to shift from regulation-size to Olympic-size. DDXALL Of course, the question remains as to what to do with Au- WAUT TP try Gym. Enough of the old facility has been replaced with the newer-better-cleaner Tudor Fieldhouse, so there's little nostalgia to be had from the swapping of old workout equipment for new. If anything, we are just glad to be rid of that metal box that blocked easy entrance to Reckling Park. The LETTERS TO THE EDITOR thresher-ops@rice. edu, twitter, com/thresheropeds empty pool and abandoned racquetball courts are impeding no one's business, so their immediate destruction or trans- matter — $3 billion remains $3 billion. guy, but crucially missing from this formation is not of the utmost necessity. Their situation will Specific signals Instead of thinking in Monopoly opinion piece is why investment in eventually need to be handled — just not today. required for bikers money-sized units, one should think going back to space ... is worth the about a single dollar. Where can the money at all. For the money spent, Likewise, the financial concerns of the graduate students To the Editor: next dollar be best spent? What is the ISS has been exceedingly mea- and faculty members, which were expressed three weeks For pedestrians, bells, whistles and given up by spending that dollar on ger in terms of scientific knowledge ago ("New recreation center fees add financial constraints," random shouting seem random and one project instead of another, i.e., provided, and the space shuttle pro- Sept. 4), should be addressed. While not exactly exorbitant, not especially effectual ("New bike pol- what is its opportunity cost? gram has been a series of expensive Michael Contreras was spot-on when he delineated his con- icy aims for safety," Sept. 18). Perhaps So is it best to spend one more launches, sometimes of marginal you could promote signals long used utility. We used to build two of each cerns that the Rec Center was turning away a wide swath of dollar on NASA for a moon landing by downhill skiers: "On your Right" repeat? Or instead to give a teacher satellite we would send up, send its potential consumer base. Subsidizing or even reducing or "On your left!" These alerts give a raise? Or to reduce taxes one dol- the first, see what needed fixing the price would be a welcome measure for a part of Rice that precise information to a walker and lar? Or, more likely, to reduce the for the second, do the necessary re- is just as deserving of the new Rec Center as are the under- enable him or her to decide instantly national government debt? pairs and then send up the second. graduates. where to step — left or right — to avoid Next, iterate this process. 1 Now we have extremely risky mis- impending danger. doubt NASA will win three billion sions to repair the Hubble, etc. In the meantime, though, we'll be storing our belong- Felicia Eppley times in a row. NASA and our space program ings in those digital lockers, taking in the yoga classes and David Splinter (plus the Soviets, ESA, JSA, etc.) relaxing by the swaying palm trees, thankful that those 18 NASA budget raise Economics graduate student have done some amazing things in months of patience paid off. The new Rec Center opens today. expanding our knowledge of the uni- Go enjoy it. unnecessary Online Comment verse, and we should applaud them for that. And though it's sexy to send To the Editor: of the Week a man to Mars, we have to stop and Three billion dollars is not chump ask ourselves if taking the money International figures change, as Joe Dwyer says ("NASA In response to "NASA deserves finan- away from our scientific mission (un- deserves financial, public support for cial, public support for endeavors," less you can get the money from else- grace Rice with presence endeavors," Sept. 18). Compare it to Sept. 18: where) is worth it. how much NASA spends annually or to As a physicist 1 like big rock- Paul Anzel your monthly lunch budget, it doesn't ets and space as much as the next Over the last week, Rice has been graced by the presence Will Rice '09 of a pair of highly-respected diplomats: Edrian Idrissov, Ka- zakhstan Ambassador to the United States, and Swashpawan Casey Michel Singh, former ambassador for India to the United Nations Editor in Chief The Rice Thresher, the official student news- Sarah Rutledge paper at Rice University since 1916, is pub- (see stories, pages 4 and 7). Meanwhile, it was announced lished each Friday during the school year, that Muhammad Yunus, the 2006 Nobel Peace Prize winner, Senior Editor except during examination periods and holi days, by the students of Rice University. would be the commencement speaker at the 2010 commence- NEWS David Rosales Multimedia Manager ment (see story, page 1). Cindy Dinh Editor Stephen Wang Web Editor Letters to the Editor must be received by Josh Rutenberg Editor Dennis Qian Asst. Web Editor 5 p.m. the Monday prior to publication and Even though the endowment may have dropped by double- Jocelyn Wright Editor Eric Doctor Design Director must be signed, including college and year if Jaclyn Youngblood Editor Zach Castle Head News Designer the writer is a Rice student. Letters should not digit percentages (see story, page 1), it is nice to see that Rice exceed 250 words in length. The Thresher re serves the rights to edit letters for content and can still attract the kind of envoys and world leaders that OP-ED BUSINESS length and to place letters on our Web site. make our university as prestigious as we've been led to be- Christine Pao Editor Yvette Pan Manager Kay Fukui Cartoonist lieve. And yet that prestige was not on full show for Idrissov Jessie Huang Subscriptions Manager Editorial & business offices are Charlie Ary Distribution Manager located on the second floor of the Ley Stu and Singh, who both spoke in college commons. Lacking the SPORTS Gustavo Herrera Distribution Manager dent Center: pomp and showmanship of the lames A. Baker III Institute Natalie Clericuzio Editor Sergio Jaramillo Distribution Manager Yan Digilov Editor 6100 Main St., MS-524 for Public Policy — and all the perceived intimidation that Jonathan Myers Assistant Editor ADVERTISING Houston, TX 77005-1892 Phone (713) 348-4801 students may feel when they gape at the building's imposing Cathleen Chang Ads Manager ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Fax (713) 348-5238 beauty — the ambassadors were instead treated to the dining Molly Slattery Ads Manager E-mail: thresherGprice.edu Joe Dwyer Editor tiffany Kuo Classified Ads Manager Web site: www.ricethresher.org facilities for the university's students. COPY And it seems like it was a flying success. As such, we CALENDAR Unsigned editorials represent the major Anna Wilde Editor Brian Reinhart Editor ity opinion of the Thresher editorial staff would recommend the continuance of this lecture series. Not Rose Cahalan Editor All other opinion pieces represent solely only does it appear that students are more likely to attend, BACKPAGE the opinion of the piece's author. MEDIA Kyle Barnhart Editor but we are also confident that those invited to speak are less Lauren Schoeffler Photo Editor The Thresher is a member of the Associated Cristina Tortarolo Editor Collegiate Press. Screw the healthcare system. Asst. Photo Editor concerned with their venue than with the expansion of their Ariel Shnitzer © Copyright 2009 Logan Beck Asst. Photo Editor message. The more ears they can reach, the broader their message, and the greater the impact they can create. Op-Ed Op-Ed is now on Twitter. Get the scoop at twitter.com/ThresherOpEds Houston lacks grandeur of New York life Honor Council flaws highlight THERE ARE SOME things a New Life here is great as one slowly gets giant place. A city is supposed to be Yorker inherently misses when accustomed to the ins and outs of crowded and bustling, with build- need for further modification transplanted thousands of miles Southern culture, but it lacks a cer- ings on top of one another, stores from home and left to cope in a new tain vibe that makes me nostalgic on every corner and cars waiting I WAS EXTREMELY pleased when I held against them and be able to pre- college environment. The hectic for home. in traffic (maybe we have that one read about the recommendations of the pare from there, innocent students will buzz of a new life chapter — in my Firstly, your bagels suck. In New concession). Where is the conve- Working Group on the Honor Council in be left to divine what possible types of case, residing at 1601 Rice Boule- York, circularly-shaped bread does nience of living in a city if you need The Rice Thresher two weeks ago ("Hon- violations they could be facing, making vard — seems at once marvelously not constitute a bagel. Bagels are a vehicle to get to Target or a GPS to or Council working group presents find- it all the more difficult for them to prop- invigorating and sadly lacking in beasts of their own. If you don't un- find a restaurant? ings," Sept. 11). The council has had erly defend themselves. the comforts of home. derstand, then I am sorry for you. Though I have other concerns, trouble keeping up with its caseload for The second major problem with Second, "you" and "all" are (hese cover the main issues. How can a while, and the measures suggested the council is that while their posted unique, separate words. I've tried the fall be starting in less than a week could greatly alleviate the pressures case abstracts list which members were slur, but it's like mixing servery soups, with no change in weather, no apple on the council, allowing things to run present at a specific hearing, they do and it sounds absolutely disgusting. cider and no orange leaves? Don't much more smoothly. not record how each member individu- Third, biscuits and gravy should get me wrong — I'm not complaining ally votes in each straw poll - whether never be eaten first thing in the about the warmth. But without the ci- or not they find someone in violation, morning, especially when innocent der, how can fall possibly subsist? and their votes for the appropriate pen- Northerners can easily confuse the Houstonians, if you've never trav- alty. As such, each member as a whole white gravy for a hot, runny cereal. eled to New York, savor your blissful has no real record to speak of, which Johanna Ohm Gravy and granola, somehow, just ignorance. You may have great parks, makes the election of members to the isn't the sort of confusion one wants fantastic winter weather, Southern council a rather silly exercise. How can I After my first month at Rice, I can to deal with before a 9 a.m. class. hospitality and a fantastic school I re-elect someone to the council in clear assuredly say, "Houston, you are not Fourth, Rice seems to have only will hate to leave for winter break, conscience if I have no understanding New York." one type of tree. Forget the ever- but no place can have it all. Paul Anzel of their record? Are they fair? Overly To be fair, the servery has cooked greens and sugar maples — all I've All right, I've had my rant. Hous- harsh? There's no real way to know. us some stellar meals, I've managed ever found are miles of the same ton, I'm counting on you to tell me These changes, however, do not The American judicial system pub- to grow accustomed to the idea of oddly-shaped oaks. Gorgeous, sure, what I shouldn't miss, to awaken address some other major procedural lishes the individual opinions of its Duncan's paper plates and perpetu- but where's the diversity? a new loyalty in the freshman mi- problems with the Honor Council. judges in its case abstracts, and while ally-flooding showers, and I've taken One last point, perhaps the most grants, to make me love what this Before I begin, let me state that I the council needs not remake itself in pride in the concept of being "LEED shocking observation I've made city has to offer, to show me that agree that the Honor Code is an in- the mirror image of the American sys- gold-certified," even if this means we since my arrival: We don't live in a Texas pride. I have four years, and I tegral part of Rice — treating us as tem, it would be good to consider fol- may always have to keep our windows city. Despite what Rice tour guides don't want to be missing cider every adults as we go about our studies — lowing this example. Such records of a locked and our elevator MIA. say, Houston is not the fourth-larg- time October rolls around. and I would like to thank everyone on judge's opinions are crucial for any of In short, I see myself, you know, est city in the United States. Hous- the council for their time and service. that judge's future appoints. Meanwhile, "adjusting well." ton is not even a city. It is a sprawl- Johanna Ohm is a Duncan College Trying to ascertain whether or not a with no record of each member's votes, But Texans, my new neighbors, ing conglomerate of houses and freshman who grew up violation has occurred and deciding the only information left to impartially I must say that you are missing out. businesses that just mesh into one in Albany, New York. on the appropriate response is diffi evaluate each Honor Council candidate cult and time consuming, especially is a short Student Association election when judging one's peers. blurb and a few other short statements But with this in mind, some of the they may make at other functions — all Capitalism polarizes education, society council's current policies run counter of which tend to express similar senti- to the honor system's "rich tradition of ments and have no concrete bearing on As CAPITALISM MOVES ever closer cynical view that I believe is sup- not make use of your full intellectual trust and mutual respect," as described any actual practice. toward cultural universality, it is im- ported by the current human situa- capacity? Why would you want to be a in the blue book. The council must portant to discuss whether our adop- tion: There is only a certain amount plumber with a comprehensive knowl- The final issue the Honor Council adopt further changes if they wish to tion of this particular socioeconomic of pie, and eating more pie means edge of medieval empires? Did you ever must deal with is something it has more fairly serve the student body. system has brought the gains and ad- that someone else will get less. have a choice? been trying to kill off for the past few The first change would be to advancements it is often credited with. Ergo, capitalism is an economic pol- While it may seem that I am criticiz- years. This issue is Article XII, which dress the method by which the coun- icy that stratifies society by polarizing ing the effects of capitalism in order to many on the council have taken to cil informs students that they have the distribution of wealth. We cannot segue into a promotion of socialist ide- calling this the "loophole clause" be- been accused of a code violation. For all be the wealthy capitalists. In fact, als, as my portrayal of the "working cause it allows a student to essentially those who have not gone through the most of us will be the poor workers. man's ordeal" would suggest, I am not. plead nolo contendere to a charge and process, let me describe to you what If society is stratified through the I would simply prefer to limit the dis- accept the second-worst punishment takes place: You will receive a terse polarization of wealth, its stratifica- cussion to the current and future state the council can mete out — a year of e-mail to the effect of, "You have been tion is preserved through the polar- of the educational-professional duality. suspension from Rice — in exchange implicated in a possible Honor Code ization of education. By not allowing As people with heightened intellec- for not having a violation listed on violation in [class name]. The date for the working class access to education, tual curiosity and the talent to pursue their external transcript. your investigative hearing is [date]. Rodrigo Flores we are effectively acknowledging that it. it shouldn't be the case that the only Article XII serves many important Here is the contact information for the present social stratification is ap- acceptable professions are those which purposes. It provides a check on the your ombudsman. Be there." You're It is generally agreed that capital- propriate, while denying ourselves necessitate a high level of academic power of the council; should it grow then left to wait for the investigative ism is an effective means to economic the benefits of a more enlightened, proficiency because they place us closer too dictatorial with its decisions, meeting to learn anything more. growth, keeping innovation-breeding intelligent society. to profiting in the capitalist equation. Is students will be able to better pro- Crucially missing from the e-mail competition fervent while maintain- The demonization of working- it so difficult to imagine engaging your tect themselves from any abuse of is the actual charge levied against ing government regulation at mini- class life by the privileged classes mechanic in an educated discussion power. For the guilty students, it is you — you must wait until the meet- tantamount to immediately making mum levels. Less consensus exists those with the opportunity for about the latest developments in phys- ing to find out. a good-faith acceptance to one of the regarding the direct cultural effects of education — only serves to widen ics research, or listening to your hair- This is both unfair and with- worst punishments the council can the world capitalist system; for exam- the rift between the two. Though we dresser's carefully researched opinion holds due process from students. We give, taking the social and academic ple, when discussing the appearance are increasingly aware of the power- on current and future fair trade agree- should not require anyone to deduce disruption that comes from leaving and growth of capitalism in Asian cul- ful mechanisms that drive contem ments? What isn't difficult is guessing their crime, real or not. Does honor for a year. And, as proof of current tures, there is debate as to whether the porary society, we continue to place what you might ask them afterwards: require surprise in order to be en- enrollment is necessary for many local culture facilitates and dictates the burden of labor upon those least "Why didn't you go to college?" forced? If it did, it wouldn't strike me internships, study programs and the eventual implementation of capi- able to cope with the responsibility. I hope it isn't too far-fetched to be- as "honor" any longer. the like, it's a willing resignation to talism, or the other way around. As justification, we use the pretense lieve that if more of the college-educat This flaw is made exponentially take up a more menial pursuit in the Whatever the case may be, it is that it is not worthwhile to supply ed chose to perform roles for which they worse by the delay of several days, meantime. For the innocent, it's the clear that economic and social chang- an education to one who, even with would normally be considered "over weeks or sometimes months between offer OL a gamble — you're unlikely es go hand in hand, though it may not a fully-realized intellectual poten- qualified", we would be abk t< inspire when you are informed about the accu to be hit, but note of a (wrongfully always be clear which is the chicken tial, will never use this to increase many of those around us to partake in sation and the date of the investigative found) violation can completely kill and which is the egg. economic productivity. the abundant knowledge that our time hearing. I can tell you from personal numerous potential careers. We can safely say the economic Therein lies the reason for igno- on earth has left us. Is it impossible to experience that waiting for the hear- I would like to close by saying world system has played a role in en- rance, an ignorance that allows the inhabit a world where the majority of ing and not knowing your charge is that if you agree with the sentiments abling our development into today's lower classes to be easily persuaded people are able to make conscious deci- nothing short of hellish. Others I have here or have other issues you'd like modern, enlightened human race. by political campaigns feigning con- sions about their choice of government, spoken to who have gone through the to discuss, you should contact the The past few centuries have witnessed cern with their needs, an ignorance instead of having their vote bought with same process have described the pro- council yourself. You can e-mail the decline of beliefs and practices — that advertisers successfully target to a free T-shirt and a bumper sticker? cess as "agony," "torture" and "cruel them at honor(g)rice.edu 01 attend such as racism, slavery, ritual sacrifice sell them products they don't need at Of course, all the imagination in the and unusual punishment" — all for their public meetings throughout and anti-intellectualism at the same prices they can't afford. universe cannot change the fact that the period of time before the council the semester: The council will meet time that revolutions in labor practic- Central to capitalism is the ethos the financial and time commitments even decides whether there is suffi- to discuss the Consensus Penalty es, production methods and economic that the only right amount of work that required to pursue a higher educa- cient evidence for a full investigation, Structure sometime in October and policy have taken place. you can do is the most that you can do. tion remain beyond the reach of the let alone whether or not someone is Honor Council college representa- We live in a time of unprecedent- As an example, if a technology comes overwhelming majority of the world's guilty. While the Working Group's tives will host study breaks in their ed intellectual understanding, when along that allows a farmer to perform population. As graduation rolls around recommendations should quicken the respective colleges throughout the people can become learned and cul- his work in half the time it took before, for the senior class, and many of us — ordeal, we must do what we can to year. Both occasions will give you tured to a degree completely unfeasi- he should now do twice as much work myself probably included — prepare to make sure the experience is no more the chance to discuss any concerns ble fewer than 100 years ago. Millions in order to compensate. It is often nec- enter the world capitalist system, 1 find unpleasant than it needs to be. about procedures with the council. of students graduate from the world's essary to increase productivity, or com- myself wondering where our continued thousands of educational establish- petition might overtake the farmer and skewing of the social distribution of Moreover, under the current system, That way, you'll be more informed ments every year. put him out of business. educated individuals will lead us, and the innocent are harmed more than are about how the council actually runs the guilty. There is a whole range of po- - or at least more informed than Many proponents of capitalism Your parents, when encouraging if capitalism is in this case the egg, or tential code violations one could face when it summons you to a hearing. argue that the available wealth of the you to go to college, think in much more likely, the chicken. in a given class — plagiarism, collabo- world is not a finite "pie," but that the same way: If you're able to go to a rating or flat-out cheating — and while Paul Anzel graduated from we all have an opportunity to get as good school and get a high-paying job, Rodrigo Flores is a guilty students will know the exact case Will Rice College in 2009. much pie as we want. I adopt a more why would you work a job that would Martel College senior. 4 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009 Martel welcomes former ambassador to speak on India

BY ANNA WILDE tween China, Pakistan, Afghanistan trafficking, nuclear weapons, climate THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF and Nepal. change, the spread of pandemic dis- "India is an island of stability in a eases, economic issues, terrorism and In an effort to increase talks by difficult neighborhood," Singh said. higher education. India currently has notable speakers at the residential India's tolerance, not only for its around 90,000 students studying at colleges, Martel College hosted Am- different neighbors but for its own U.S. universities, many of whom will bassador Swashpawan Singh last diversity, is a key to its continued suc- remain in the United States following Thursday. cess, he said. India's focus on secu- graduation rather than contribute to Speaking to an audience of about larism is not equivalent to an absence India's development. 30, Singh, the former Indian ambassa- of faith, but rather a coexistence and He mentioned the possibility of dor to the United Nations, gave a talk acceptance of each other's beliefs, a Rice campus in India in the future entitled "The India Story: More Fact Singh said. to open up the opportunity of higher than Fiction," where he discussed his education to more Indian students in country's current success, in addition their country. to its development and obstacles to 44 President David Leebron, however, becoming a world power. was hesitant to set a specific date for The talk was jointly coordinated I don't think you future collaboration. by the Martel Peer Academic Advi- guys use your elbows "Because of our comparatively sors, the Indian Students at Rice and small size and limited resources, we the James A. Baker 111 Institute for enough. have emphasized building partner- Public Policy. ships with foreign universities, for Singh, who serves as India's per- both teaching and research, rather manent representative to the United Swashpawan Singh than trying to establish our own cam- Nations in Geneva, said he was moti- Fmr. Indian Amb. to the UN puses abroad," Leebron said. "While Former ambassador Swashpawan Singh speaks to a group of Rice vated to share information about his we remain open to a range of discus- students about India's success, development and impact in the world. country after discovering how little sions, it is likely that we will continue Americans knew about India. India W with that strategy. We have a keen in- boasts an enormous voter turnout for terest in increasing our relationships been in conversation with the univer- novel tiling for us to do." elections and is the largest democracy with India and the opportunities for sity about hosting notable speakers According to Salaheldin, the in the world, he said. Additionally, Singh encouraged his both our students and professors." and other events at Martel soon after uniqueness and success of the event Around 430 million people voted U.S. listeners to be proactive, rather Martel PAA Veronica Torres said he became master in 2005. Dickens, gave the PAAs more visibility, as the in India's latest elections, a number than complacent. the ambassador gave her a new view- an earth science professor, was ap- group is generally just known for which encompasses the combined "I don't think you guys use your el- point on the country. proached at the beginning of the se- hosting study breaks and handling populations of the United States, bows enough," Singh said. "It was really interesting to hear mester by Nancy Hawes, executive students' academic concerns. director for external affairs at the Jesse Canada, the United Kingdom, France, India has the second-largest res- what he had to say in comparison to Salaheldin also praised the H. Jones Graduate School of Business, Germany and Switzerland. Singh said ervoir of workers and an average age what some of my friends said about In- speaker's accessibility compared to about hosting Singh. most Indian citizens are so passion- of 23. While Americans may consider dia after visiting this summer," Torres, that of past notable speakers such as ate about their right to vote that they India to have an overpopulation prob- a Martel junior, said. The Martel Peer Academic Advisers, President Bill Clinton and the Dalai would be willing to relinquish every- lem, Singh said that India views its Fellow PAA Janhvi Doshi said she led by junior Bo Shi and senior Maram Lama. Shi and Salaheldin coordi- thing else to keep this right. large population as "a stock of creativ- was impressed with the ambassador's Salaheldin, agreed to assist with the talk nated publicity for the ambassador's In addition, Singh said India has ity and innovation, not a liability." honesty. following an e-mail asking for help, in talk alongside Deepa Ramachadran, made a major mark on world powers Singh went on to discuss India's "I definitely didn't expect [the addition to the suggestion of Assistant president of Indian Students at Rice. — even McDonald's Corporation. To difficulties, as it is still a develop- speech] to be as good as it was. It Dean of Undergraduates and Director of Martel junior Raul Villarreal said this day, no beef is sold at any Indian ing country with half of its popula- was his honesty that I didn't expect," Academic Advising Brian Gibson, also a the more casual setting of events McDonald's restaurant for Hindu di- tion below the poverty line. Singh Doshi, a Martel junior, said. "I didn't Martel resident associate. held at the colleges made him more etary reasons, a demand that initially cited infrastructure, energy secu- see him trying to dodge questions. He Salaheldin said the PAAs' involve- likely to attend them. seemed laughable to the company rity, education and health care as was consistent with his opinions, in ment made sense, as the group exists "Even though I've taken classes when it considered expansion into the areas for improvement. addition to government ideas." for academic enrichment at the college at the Baker Institute, it's intimidat- country in 1996. Singh said he hopes to see India The plans for Singh's arrival were and has the manpower to help. ing for undergraduates to go into lec- Singh also pointed to India's geo- collaborate with the United States to set in motion years ago. "We were basically asked to handle ture series where everyone is wearing graphical significance, situated be- solve similar problems such as drug Martel Master Jerry Dickens had logistics," Salaheldin said. "It wasn't a suits," Villarreal said. I RUPD POLICE BLOTTER The following items were reported to the Rice Univer- COMMUNITY lNVOLVEMEN^ CENTER sity Police Department for the period Sept. 16-22

RESIDENTIAL COLLEGES Wiess College Sept. 19 Theft Brown College Sept. 20 Theft Looking for Funding for a large-Scale Service Project?

OTHER LOCATIONS West Lot Sept. 16 Failure to stop and give information Fondren Library Sept. 17 Theft Off Campus Sept. 18 Alcohol violations, driving while intoxicated Alumni Drive Sept. 19 Evading detention

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I'lie Kieh lamil\ Kndo\wncnt for (lomiminit\ Ser\ ice was created lo support student engagement i111 societal issues through a multi-faceted approach, including hotli indmdual and group acli\ ities, through \oluntccrism. internships, 1 research projects, and other rcle\anl aeti\ ities.

RICE Student Applications to -fun,d projec-ts from, winter S.OOJ) through fall 2.010 # STIMULUS PACKAGE are due by on wcrinesriay, october ag, 2.009. Funding decisions will be announced Friday, "December ^> 2.00J. Get a "HOOT" Kahn's Deli Cat8rs!

Smoked Turkey, Ham, We have plenty of choices More information and the application form are available on the Pepperoni, Provolone to make your party or Community Involvement Center's web site at http://cic.rice.edu. Cheese and Kahn's event deliciously Signature Dressing on memoriable! If you have any questions, please contact Mac Griswold, Director of the Community a Fresh Baked Bun 4.99 832-86040*8 Involvement Center, by e-mail ([email protected]) or phone (713-348-6163).

CIC.RICF.EDU DISCOVER. VOLUNTEER. LEAD. I HE CRNTIR I OR CIVIC I NGAGEMENI SJRICB FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 5

O ENDOWMENT FAMILIES FROM PAGE 1 Families weekend begins WEEKEND 8 a.m.-4 p.m in the Brochstein Pavil- BY LAWANDA TURNER Some highlights of Families looking at the portfolio, monitoring ion. Families will also be supplied MFWEHADONE FOR THE THRESHER Weekend: it more closely and we made higher schedules, guest identifications and cash-balances." I BILLION DOLLARS ~ maps. The campus store will be open This weekend, parents will dis- • Thursday, 8 p.m: Shep- Of all of Rice's assets, only cover what their sons and daughters from 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. today, and herd School of Music will bonds positively increased in value have actually been up to in college. walking tours of campus will be de- With nearly $1 billion lost from host a Master's Double over the last fiscal year. Families Weekend began yesterday parting at 11 a.m. from the Sallyport. the endowment over the last "Our public equities and hedge and continues through Sunday, al- On Thursday, families began the Bass Recital in Alice Pratt year, you could: funds performed well, relatively lowing students and parents alike to festivities with information sessions Brown Hall speaking," Nelson said. experience what Rice and Houston for prospective students with the Ad- • Carpet the floor of Tudor Field- have to offer. missions Office and tours of campus, • Friday, 9 a.m.: Coffee with house in $100 bills 3,352 times which will continue throughout the a This year's Families Weekend the President and his wife theme is "Rice Students. Global Citi- weekend. at the Brochstein Pavillion • Wrap $1 billion worth of pen- zens.", according to the Office of Inter- Today's events include "En- We had a good, solid nies around the outer loop national Students and Scholars. This gaging the World through Art," • Friday, 11 a.m.: Walking performance in a 33,198,363 times theme is especially fitting, as the uni- a special invitation to Rice Night tour of campus leaves from at the Museum of Fine Arts Hous- tough year. versity has students representing more the Sallyport at Lovett Hall • Pay 31,816 years worth of than 99 countries, Director of Reunion ton at 5 p.m. In addition, from 1 p.m.-8 p.m. families can hitch Rice undergraduate tuition Programs and Special Events Jenni- • Friday, 5 p.m.: Rice re- (based on 2010 figures from fer Harding said. Rice also welcomed a complimentary ride on the Mu- Claire Nelson ception at the MFA Hous- more than 900 new students this year, seum District Shuttle, which de- Assoc. VP for Investments March 13, 2009 Thresher) ton, "Engaging the World 13 percent of them international. parts from the Ley Student Center. Through Art" The weekend's events are orga- Makhani, who is part of the Fami- 99 • Purchase 16,666,666 sub- nized by the Office of Alumni Affairs lies Weekend Steering Committee, scriptions to the Thresher • Friday, 8 p.m.: Come hear in collaboration with a steering com- suggested taking the half-mile walk down Main Street if possible. the Rice Philharmonics The $55 million Rice received • Pay for 1/700th of the mittee that consists of students from Makhani added that the goal of sing your favorite covers at in endowment gifts came from government bailout each college. alumni, corporations and other Student Association External Vice this year's Families Weekend is to the Rice Chapel in the RMC take advantage of the campus' and donors. This is up from 2008, • Purchase 136 replicas of Lee- President Amber Makhani said the when Rice received $42 million in theme of the event encapsulates the city's cultural environment. • Friday, 10 p.m.: Baker Col- bron's house endowment gifts. Rice student experience. lege will host its annual Historically, the endowment • Buy the Houston Texans at "I want families to see that stu- if public party, Baker Blues supports 40 percent of the univer- dents are well-versed and make an face value (according to sity's budget, but Nelson said this impact locally as well as internation- • Saturday, 9-10 a.m.: forbes.com) Houston is a wonder- year the endowment will come ally," Makhani, a Martel College soph- Coffee with the masters closer to supporting 45 percent of omore, said. ful place to live, and • Spend 391 years in the presi- and roundtable discussion the budget. Highlights this weekend include dential suite at the Waldorf this event serves as a From 1912 until 1965, the en- surrounding-area museum visits, lec- • Saturday, 1 p.m.: Keynote Astoria in New York City, wonderful cultural dowment allowed students ad- tures by members of the faculty, visits address, "Educating Glob- mitted to Rice to attend without where President Obama to students' classes, sporting events immersion. al Citizens," by Robin For- paying tuition. stayed during this week's and campus tours that include the new man in the Kelley Interna- Nelson said the Office of In- United Nations General Barbara and David Gibbs Recreation Amber Makhani tional Conference Facility vestment is confident Rice will be Assembly meeting and Wellness Center, the Bioscience SA External Vice President in good standing when the next Research Collaborative and Duncan at James A. Baker III Hall NACUBO report on annual endow- • Build 14,454 Williams Tow- and McMurtry Colleges. The complete 99 • Saturday, 2:30 p.m.: ments is released. ers by laying $1 billion in schedule can be found at www.ruf.rice. "We feel our return will be fa- edu/-events/famweek/. "Rice Chefs at the West pennies end to end vorable when compared to other Family registration is today from Servery": Roger Elkhouri, institutions," Nelson said. 7 a.m.-6 p.m. and tomorrow from "Houston is a wonderful place executive chef, Maricela to live, and this event serves as a Lucciola, pastry chef, and wonderful cultural immersion," Cesar Tovar, culinarian will Makhani said. perform a cooking demon- Some students have been making stration at West Servery ATTENTION STUDENTS! plans in the days and weeks leading up to this weekend. "I'm pretty excited to show my • Saturday, 7 p.m.: The foot- dad around and introduce him to dif- ball team wilt play Vander- ferent friends I've made," McMurtry bilt at Rice Stadium freshman Lena Silva said. "Plus, I can't wait to eat dinner at restaurants • Saturday, 9:30 p.m.: Get a outside of the Village." good laugh at the Sponta- Even students who don't have neous Combustion perfor- family coming to visit enjoy the idea mance in Herring 100 behind Families Weekend. "My family is not coming this • For a full schedule of the year, but they came for Families weekend's events, visit JOIN FOR ONLY Weekend my freshman and my http://www.ruf.rice. sophomore year," Will Rice Col- edu/-events/famweek/ lege senior Dorainne Levy said. "At the end of the day it is great to have family to get your mind off of stressful Rice life."

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"Limited time offer. Must present valid Student I.D. to redeem offer. Offer based on the purchase of a new Easy Start monthly dues membership with a one-time initiation fee of S49 and $29.99 monthly dues per person. Must pay first and visit us last months' dues plus the initiation fee to join. Monthly dues must be paid by one account and deducted by automatic transfer from checking, savings, Visa, MasterCard, American Express or Discover account. Redeemable by non-members only. Extra charge for some amenities. Photos depict a typical facility; some locations may vary. Monthly rlues membership may be canceled with writteq notice in accordance with the terms of the membership agreement Offer is not available in combination with other discounted rates Advertised rate does not include access to any LA Fitness Premier New York or Signature Clubs. Offer online! is not available at Signature Clubs Call club for details Advertised rate may be subject to change LA Fitness Sports Clubs are registered in the state of Texas as a health studio, number 080543. ©2009 LA Fitness International. LLC All rights reserved 6 n NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009

A glimpse inside Houston's mayoral racePHOTO S BY | AM IS LIU/THRESHER

With a little more than a month until elec- Brown, Gene Locke, Roy Morales and Annise Young Democrats, who said the debate was campus, such as the expansion of Houston's tion day, four mayoral candidates debated Parker ((ones 78) fielded questions from a a great opportunity for students to meet METRO light-rail system and job creation. with each other at the Rice Memorial Center media panel made up of members of the lo- the candidates. "It's difficult for Rice students to get en- Wednesday night. cal Hispanic press and moderator Art Rascon, "We really think Rice students are chal- gaged in a Houston-specific political race The hour-long mayoral debate, entitled from ABC-KTRK television station. lenging the stereotype of political apathy because I think a lot of them aren't reg- "The Latino Voice," was hosted by the Candidates had 30 seconds to two minutes on campus," Bugbee, a Hanszen College istered to vote here," he said. "Nonethe- Houston Association of Hispanic Media to answer each question from the panel as well sophomore, said. less, it's still important for Rice students Professionals and the Office of Multicul- as a question posed by another candidate. Kevin Bush, vice president of Rice Young to at least learn about Houston politics." tural and Community Relations within the Among the dozen students in atten- Democrats, said the candidates could have Office of Public Affairs. Candidates Peter dance was Myles Bugbee, president of Rice touched on issues that would affect the Rice — Cindy Dinh

PETER BROWN ROY MORALES GENE LOCKE ANNISE PARKER HOUSTON CITY COUNCIL MEMBER HARRIS COUNTY DEPT. OF EDUCATION TRUSTEE PARTNER, ANDREWS KURTH LLP CITY OF HOUSTON COMPTROLLER

On whether law enforcement should On whether law enforcement should On whether law enforcement should On whether law enforcement should be involved in enforcing immigration: be involved in enforcing immigration: be involved in enforcing immigration: be involved in enforcing immigration:

There will be no racial profiling and no I will not allow any police officer to pro- I don't believe it is appropriate for our po- I would not authorize any police officer to discriminatory policing. The Houston file a hard-working, law-abiding citizen, lice department to make inquires of immi- ask anyone on the street on their normal Police Department has its hands full but I will allow HPD to enforce the immigration status at a stop. I do believe that course of their duty [about] their immigra- in enforcing the law and fighting and gration law under the 287 G program. once the person is arrested and in custody tion status. If, however, you are arrested preventing crime. However, we need you would run a check on citizenship just and taken into custody, you should expect to cooperate with other agencies and On tax increases during his term as you would run a check on outstanding to have that question asked and have your law enforcement like the Harris Coun- as mayor: warrants. immigration status fully investigated. ty Sheriff's office and ICE to deal with criminal activity. No. I will not raise taxes; in fact, I am On tax increases during his term On tax increases during her term going to lower your taxes. We're going as mayor: as mayor: On tax increases during his term to do that by effective audits in every as mayor: department. I am also going to lead by No. No. I don't think there will be a tax increase, example and take a pay cut, and am also and the city of Houston has just done a l-per- No. I believe we can do more with less. going to make sure every senior execu- cent, across-the-board cut. We are also delay In the solid waste department, we cut tive level in the departments takes a pay ing hirings and big-ticket purchases, includ- their budget 4 percent, and they're ac- cut as well. ing the purchases of three helicopters for the tually doing more. police department. Director of acclaimed Electric Car speaks on vehicle's resurgence BY SCOTT NORGAARD director of the 2006 documentary film future U.S. economy. THRESHER STAFF Who Killed the Electric Car?, spoke to Despite his film's title, Paine sug- an audience of 90 at the Dore Com- gested that the electric car is not dead, The solution to the economic crisis mons in the James A. Baker III Insti- just a stifled innovation that, as public may not lie in bailouts, but in electric- tute for Public Policy on Monday about opinion shifts in its favor, has just be- powered cars. Chris Paine, writer and electric cars and their feasibility in the gun to reach the mainstream. Paine's lecture, "How Many Light Bulbs Does it Take to Plug in an Elec- tric Car?", focused on the difficulties STUDENT ASSOCIATION MINUTES car companies have encountered in The following were noted at the most recent meeting of the past with electric cars, and pro- the Student Association on Sept. 21. vided a brief outline of what he be- lieves to be the future of electric car technology. Paine's talk covered his • Parliamentarian Jonathan Stewart announced that the deadline for observations in making his documen- club registration is Oct. 1. Clubs will lose all privileges if they fail to tary, which sought to address why ef- register. ficient electric cars, particularly GM's EVi, were repossessed and destroyed • There will be a Committee on SA Constitutional Revisions that will by car companies in the 1990s. The study and restructure the constitution. Applications are online at film analyzes the different elements sa.rice.edu. behind the electric car's downfall, including Big Oil's involvement, govern- LOGAN BECK/THRESHER • Barbara and David Gibbs Recreation and Wellness Center Representa- mental policy and consumer choices. Chris Paine, director of Who Killed the Electric Car?, visited Rice to discuss the tives Tina Villard and Elizabeth Slator hosted a question-and-answer Paine began by explaining why future of electric vehicles, a future that recent events leave him optimistic about. session about tomorrow's Rec Center opening. The building will be consumers have typically been hesi- almost triple the size of the former Autry Gym and will boast brand- tant to adopt the electric car. The docu- new equipment. (For a list of the new Rec Center's features, turn to mentary mentions that electric car In addition to the traditional social tached to his house. page 8.) The 50-meter Olympic-size pool is one month behind sched- manufacturers have noticed a stigma stigma associated with them, car man- Wiess College sophomore Rebecca ule, but everything else will be ready to use upon opening. Everyone is in regard to electric cars and have thus ufacturers must also address the range Jaffe said after attending Paine's talk, encouraged to attend the grand opening today. run into marketing resistance. of electric cars, which is still years be- she thinks there may be a future for One of the consumers' main com- hind that of gas-powered cars. electric cars. • Treasurer Tiffany Wu presented this year's SA budget. The money has plaints, Paine said, is that the battery Despite these setbacks in the elec- "1 think with everyone getting been allocated in the following manner: Ads, $1,550; Campaign reim- capacity is too low and that electric tric car industry, Paine said he thinks excited with everything green, that bursements, $430; Committees, $500; Events, $750; Gifts/Awards, cars subsequently don't have enough there may be hope for the future of there is more willingness to have $225; Meetings, $1,750; NSR Program, $1,140; Officer Supplies & battery life for sufficient traveling. Ac- electric car technology with consum- them," Jaffe said. Copies, $200; Retreats, $150; T-shirts, $1,000; Unanticipated costs, cording to Paine, advancements in ers' changing attitudes and their en- However, she said the electric car $1,000. In total, $8,695 was appropriated. the battery markets in the last decade thusiastic reception of hybrid cars. may seem impractical to some con- have proven to be promising. He also "At the Frankfurt and Detroit Auto sumers who often take their cars on • Stewart requested that voting members of the SA who plan to miss a said that an energy-density increase Shows, the electric car was the dar- extended drives. meeting send a proxy to the meeting and notify the Executive Council in today's batteries has helped attract ling," Paine said. "Every time you go to "People are still going to be driving in advance. capital to electric vehicles. Detroit, you get the sense that there is long distances," Jaffe said. "Having to Getting the consumers to change a lot of movement for the electric car." have two cars [for one journey] might • Secretary Philip Tarpley announced the beginning of the planning their habits is difficult, Paine said. He Governmental policy may also not be feasible." stage of a university-wide T-shirt sponsored by the SA. The goal is to credits cars like the Prius and other hy- be moving in favor of the electric car. Overall, Paine said that he sees the have the shirts ready for distribution by late November. A partially- brids for helping to sway public opinion Paine said President Barack Obama battle over electric cars as a thorny issue. subsidized schedule should be available soon, Tarpley, a Brown Col- in favor of alternative technologies. aims to get one million plug-in hybrid "When you change something as lege sophomore, said "Once you start driving these Pri- electric vehicles on the road by 2015, a fundamental as the cars we drive and uses or hybrids, you think about elec- goal Paine thinks may help in the pro- make them healthier, that is better for tricity," he said. "As we move into this The SA will meet Monday, Sept. 28 at 9 p.m. in the Farnsworth Pavilion. motion of the electric car. the world," Paine said. new world, thinking about how many Taking his message to heart, Paine is creating a new documen- kilowatt hours it takes to go a certain For GSA minutes and the SA fall retreat minutes, be sure to visit Paine said he has gone to great tary, Revenge of the Electric Car, which distance is helpful," lengths to reduce his environmental www. ricethresher. org. is scheduled to be released in 2011. Au However, electric cars still have impact. He has owned an electric car dience members were shown an exclu ground to cover in the design process. for 12 years, and has solar panels at- sive trailer of the new documentary. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS Kazakhstan envoy speaks at Wiess SPEAKER

BY HALLIE JORDAN Jones College senior Susan Wu, members, the costs to host cer- THRESHER STAFF one of the undergraduate com- tain speakers range in the tens of mittee members, said for the thousands. Others accept honor- Thanks to the 2006 film Borat, most part the committee listened ary degrees, which Rice does not the nation of Kazakhstan has quick- to the members of the graduat- offer its speakers, and competi- ly, if infamously, earned household ing class. tion between some schools to get a recognition. However, unlike the "There was a lot of student in- prominent or prestigious speaker film's hirsute andw skimpily-swim- put, group discussion, discussion is high. suited main character, Kazakhstan between seniors," Wu said. "I think [the competition] is re- Ambassador to the United States Of the names initially com- ally stupid, but that's the univer- Erian Idrissov, who spoke at Wiess piled, the committee drew together sity culture," Stone said. College Monday, promoted a mes- a list of the top 10 speakers. This sage of peace and progress. was submitted to the Office of the 44 This talk was part of the James President, which then began con- A. Baker III Institute for Pub- tacting the prospective speakers. lic Policy's partnership with the "The people weren't ranked, We want to bring residential colleges. Kazakhstan Ambassador to the United States Erian Idrissov spoke per se, but the president's office speakers to campus knew we were really excited about The ambassador began his speech at Wiess about his country's growth and educational reforms. in front of the 50-member audience Yunus," Wu said. that the full commu- by noting that Kazakhstan, which Wiess College senior and com- nity has access to, gained its independence in 1991, is mittee member Tracy Dansker said such as those in the still attempting to develop its econo- is our policy to be peaceful and dis- and Kazakhstan's proximity to the she was very pleased Yunus ac- my, culture and influence. posed to all sides. We enjoy excellent Middle East. cepted the offer. President's Lecture "In terms of economic and po- relations with Russia, with China, "We share one vision with the "Hopefully people will be ex- Series. litical outlets, I believe we have done with the European Union and we en- United States and joined the coali- cited when they do some research our homework," Idrissov said. "To Joy an extensive relationship with the tion after Sept. 11," Idrissov said. and find out what he's about," David Leebron say we have achieved what we want United States." "Our focus is on education. We hope she said. President would be a gross mistake, but we are One way to further advance it is the most efficient way to get rid Because of confidentiality is- making the first steps to buildfing] peace, Idrissov said, is through edu- of terrorism." sues, the committee members inter- 99 our country and society. It is still very cation. Though Kazakhstan's school Wiess master Michael Gustin viewed were unable to name others much a work in progress." system still struggles to overcome worked with the Dean of Undergrad- who had been considered, but Dan- He said progressive development the Soviet-era setbacks that plagued uates' office to host this event. sker added she thought the air of Leebron said he found it hard is most evident in the country's per- it, the ambassador said progress is "I think it's great to be more con- confidentiality was important. to justify the high cost of commis- capita gross national product, which being made. nected to events," Gustin said. "This Although Yunus will not be paid sioning such a speaker, consider- has increased from $400 to $10,000 "We will be successful if we nur- is a good way it can happen." to speak at the commencement, ing that only a small segment of over the past 18 years. The global ture the young and healthy genera- Wiess College sophomore Al- which will be held May 15, 2010, a the community generally hears the recession, however, has not left Ka- tion," Idrissov said. "Our mission is isher Kamalov, who was born in Ka- donation will be made by Rice to speech. zakhstan untouched, with economic to prepare them to take over." zakhstan and has lived in the U.S. his charity, and a special award will "We want to bring speakers to growth slowing from 10 percent to To give the next generation a for the past 12 years, said he liked be given to a graduating student, campus that the full community 1 percent. more varied experience, the Ka- the Ambassador's openness with either an undergraduate or gradu- has access to, such as those in A nation with an erratic history zakh government pays for 3,000 the audience. ate, selected by the awards commit- the President's Lecture Series," — the country has been ruled by the students a year to study abroad. "I thought that the speech was tee, who has contributed to Yunus' Leebron said. Hans, the Turks, Genghis Khan's Over 90 percent of the students very informative, especially to those cause. The award winner will be se- As for the competition between Mongol Empire, and the Soviet Union return to Kazakhstan because of that don't know much about Kazakh- lected by the awards committee. universities for speakers, Dansker — the now-autonomous Kazakhstan the opportunity to use their skills, stan or its current influence and posi- "I didn't tell the committee said Rice does an admirable job of is striving for peace and collabora- Idrissov said. tion in the world," Wiess sophomore what they could or couldn't do," avoiding the sort of one-upman- tion, Idrissov said. After being prompted by the au- Alisher Kamalov said. "I especially Leebron said, concerning the pro- ship that other universities get "Being nomads in the past, we dience during the subsequent ques- enjoyed the fact that he gave the au- jected costs of the speakers select- involved in. are positioned in the center of a mass tion-and-answer session, Idrissov dience a chance to ask any questions ed for the final list. "I think Rice takes a really good 1 of land," Idrissov said. "Therefore it addressed the matters of terrorism they had pertaining to Kazakhstan." According to several committee approach," Dansker said.

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I N V I I E YOI I I O T I I I 13E 13ICATIO N AND GRAND OPENING OF THE B A R B A RA AN O DAV ID GLB B S RECREATION AND WELLNESS CENTER

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Friday, September 2 5

2—4 P.M. 8 NEWS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009 New Recreation Center boasts bigger space,

remain at its current location, in the panded after Rec Center administrators BY JOCELYN WRIGHT families, Director of Recreation Pro- ball courts, four racquetball courts, two squash courts and an outdoor ad- same building that housed the Well- examine the facility's demand. THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF grams Tina Villard said. The increased size of the Rec Center venture center. Villard said the entire ness Center. "After we're done working out the building is also equipped with Wi-Fi. Membership for undergraduate details, we may expand availability of After a year and a half of construc- allows for two outdoor pools, includ- students is $75 annually, which is the Rec Center to alumni and the com- tion, the much-anticipated Barbara ing a 50-meter competition pool, two The Wellness Center, previously included as part of tuition. Annual munity as well, but our primary con- and David Gibbs Recreation and Well- classrooms, a dance theater, four mul- located next to the Brown College mas- memberships for graduate students cern remains students, faculty and ness Center opens today at 2 p.m. The tipurpose rooms, a cardio and weight- ter's house on the north side of campus, are $120, and memberships for facul- staff," Villard said. center more than doubles the square lifting room, a multipurpose activity has moved to the Rec Center. Its facility, staff and retirees range from $288 footage of the former Rec Center, and court gym and several spaces for stu- ties have been expanded to include two Villard said the center was largely to $720, according to the Rec Center's boasts a variety of new rooms, spaces dents to lounge and watch games. The acupuncture rooms, a massage room, paid for through a major donation from Web site. and workout facilities that will be avail- new center also includes two outdoor a classroom and a conference room. Barbara (Brown '73) and David Gibbs able to students, faculty, staff and their basketball courts, four indoor basket- Student Health Services, however, will However, availability may be ex- (Will Rice '71), in addition to smaller

The 50-meter outdoor competition pool includes three-meter and one-meter diving boards. The bulkhead in the center of the pool can be moved for water polo or competitions. Construction of the pool is not yet complete, but Villard said the pool is scheduled to open at the beginning of November. Once open, the pool will I HANNAH EDLUND/THRESHER be open year-round, excepting inclement weather. Recreation Center Director Tina Villard demonstrates the new digital day lockers, which use personalized four-digit pin codes instead of traditional locks.

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The Rec Center has two classrooms, which will be used for LPAPs and tr?ining.

The entrance has a lounge area and a floating staircase which leads to the second floor. At the operations desk, students can reserve rooms and equipment and purchase items such as shampoo and locks from the Pro Shop. The new entrance will also make it easier for the Rec Center staff to keep track of the students entering and exiting the building, as it requires them to swipe their cards to enter.

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HANNAH EDLUND/THRESHER HANNAH EDLUND/THRESHE*

The indoor basketball gym on the second floor is made up of four full-size basketball courts, and can also The multipurpose activity court is set up like an indoor hockey rink, but be used for volleyball and badminton. The gym can be divided two or four ways, depending on student and can also be used as an indoor soccer field, basketball, volleyball and instructional needs. tennis court. FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER NEWS 9 new equipment, myriad upgrades to facilities donations from other alumni. students most needed. A feasibility Manager of Communciations Susann troduced to the new community, the Villard said the need for a new rec- study for the building was complet- Glenn said. Several windows in the Rec former Autry Court is undergoing reation center grew as the intramural ed in 2006, and construction began Center are made out of Kalwall, a mate- a facelift. Villard said much of the and club sports n campus were envel- in April 2008. rial that absorbs heat and cold and also space at Autry Court will disappear Head online to oped by the Rec Center department. "They really fast-tracked this proj- filters light. when the temporary metal building, ricethresher.org She said President David Leebron ect to make sure we got the building This material also cuts down on en- located adjacent to the outdoor ten- was instrumental in pushing for the in," Villard said. ergy costs, as less air conditioning will nis courts, is removed. She said the to check out a construction of new facilities. The In compliance with Facilities, En- be needed for the facility. two back gyms will continue to be video tour and Rec Center solicited feedback from gineering and Planning's goals for all "When the building's lit and it's used for certain club sport practices students through surveys and an ad- of its new buildings, the Rec Center dark outside it kind of looks like a lan- but that many areas in the build- audio slideshow visory committee that talked to the should receive LEED Silver Certification tern," Glenn said. ing, such as the pool and the locker of the new Rec Center. colleges to determine what facilities for its sustainable construction, FE&P While the Rec Center is being in- rooms, need to be revamped.

Unlike at Autry Court, the men's locker Outside the theater is the largest of the lounge areas, room in the Rec Center will not have complete with plush chairs and Wi-Fi. communal showers.

The Rec Center has two international squash courts and four racquetball courts, similar to those in Autry but upgraded with glass paneling in the back. A lounge area outside the courts includes chairs as well as two ping-pong tables and a billiards table.

Spinning bikes like these will be used in spinning classes that will now be held in a second-floor multipurpose room. The room will also be used for group fit- At 3,000 sq. ft., the theater is the largest of the four multipurpose rooms. It will be used mainly for dance classes ness activities, and as a teaching space for LPAPs. Like the theater multipurpose and clubs such as Rice Dance Theater, as well as LPAPs. There are two changing rooms, and the ceiling is de- room, this room has sponge floors. The other two multipurpose rooms will be signed so that the entire room can be blacked out for theater productions. All four of the multipurpose rooms used for personal training and mind/body exercises such as yoga. feature sponge floors, which produce double the bounce of regular floors.

The cardio and weight room in the Rec Center is nearly triple the size of that in the former Rec Center. Each machine has a personal viewing screen, and several have embedded televisions where students can attach iPods or media devices and listen to their own music or watch TV shows and movies on the screen. There are two E-Spinners, which offer individual spinning classes, and four machines that come with programs that pit bikers against each other or let them work as a team. There are five different types of elliptical machines and track trainers. Currently, the room is only 75 percent full so that the Rec Center administrators can observe which machines are the most popular and purchase more of those. There will also be a fitness desk in the room with staff to answer questions about how to use the new machines. • wi, .

A&E is now on Twitter. Get the scoop at twitter.com/7TiresherAE ^ENTERTAINMENT b Houston Symphony's classical dilemma

Up through seventh grade, when someone asked me what my favorite kind of music was, I would answer, simply, "classical." I don't think classical music was actually what I enjoyed listening to the most — I think I just had some desire to be different and appear more intellectual than my fellow pre-pubescents.

Eric Doctor

Over the years, however, it has be- BY JOE DWYER value to the Grammy folks." ing the Rice Jazz Ensembles. several previous recordings and has come apparent to me how absurd that THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Released by Houston's Tierra Yamal (Jones '99) studied clas- more in the works, including a Latin answer truly was. "Classical" music, Studios on Nov. 25, 2008, No Wor- sical guitar at Houston's High jazz quartet album projected to be as it is referred to in today's vernacu- It is rare for established artists ries enjoyed favorable reviews and School for the Performing and Vi- released by the end of the year and lar, encompasses roughly half a mil- to snag a Grammy nomination with airtime across the country in its first sual Arts, but eventually switched a production in which he mixes R&B lennium's worth of music. their first commercial album release, months. Its four Grammy nomina- to piano. He earned his Ph.D. in and Latin music. Classical music scholars place but lifelong jazz musician and Rice tions include two for Best Impro- statistics from Rice in 2007 and cur- When asked why it had taken pieces into more clearly defined peri- Jazz Instructor Larry Slezak has done vised Jazz Solo on the song "You've rently does research at the M.D. him so long to get around to releas- ods within the several-hundred-year just that with his group's debut al- Changed" — one nomination for Anderson Cancer Center. ing an album of his own, Slezak span of orchestral arrangement: Re- bum, No Worries. Slezak on tenor saxophone and the On working with Slezak, Ya- cited his enjoyment of playing for naissance, Baroque, Classical and Earlier this week, Slezak was no- other for pianist Jose-Miguel Yamal mal had nothing but positive live audiences. Romantic. Both Chopin's Piano Con- tified that his album had been nomi- — a nomination for Best Jazz Instru- things to say. "It was never important to me to certo No. 2 and Tchaikovsky's Sym- nated for no less than four Grammys. mental Album and a nomination for "It's been wonderful," Yamal said. make a recording until recently," he phony No. 5 — which the Houston "I honestly couldn't believe it," Best Engineered Album, for engineer "Larry's been a mentor to me, as well said. "I guess part of it is my age and Symphony performed last Thursday Slezak said about the nomination. Glenn L. Wheeler. as to a lot of other musicians in town. part of it is that people felt that it was at Passport to Houston's Rice Night — "You never think that's going to hap- Slezak has been playing a vari- He has taught me a lot about not just time I did something for the people are classified as 19th-century Roman- pen to you. It's one thing to intention- ety of jazz instruments profession- music, but also the music business." coming up, who might want to hear tic works. ally produce a record for the purpose ally since he was 14 and has become Yamal hoped the nominations what came before them." Even though these pieces are con- of getting it involved in the Grammy a fixture in the Houston jazz scene could be used as a catalyst to get He said the album was the result sidered relative contemporaries, they process, but ... this record is what I since moving here from New York in the band's music out to a larger au- of a number of different things, finan- were published 58 years apart. For do. It's not designed to [be competi- 1973. He teaches saxophone and Ap- dience and influence other people's cial and otherwise, coming together imaginative purposes, it was like see- tive] — it's just what I do, and it turned plied Jazz Studies at Rice's Shepherd lives on a positive way. In addition at just the right time. Slezak also said ing Bing Crosby open for Taylor Swift. out that what I do seems to have some School of Music in addition to direct- to No Worries, Yamal has released O see GRAMMY, page 12 But could I tell? Not quite. 1 suppose I should say that if this event weren't free and weren't ac- companied with free dessert and cof- Wiess One-Acts deliver varied, enjoyable show fee, I probably wouldn't have gone. The face value of my ticket was $50 BY JANE LABYER mester by Wiess Tabletop theater, the Because the scenes cover such large disaffected black hole who used to — hardly inside of a student's bud- FORTHETHRESHER one-acts are intended to teach Wiess distances in time and space, every line be famous herself. She warns the sun get. $50 is seven trips to Cheap Date freshmen about theater in a fun and is important to the audience, so on the against leaving her planets behind, and Night at the Angelika, or 52 cups of Whether in communist Russia or low-key way, and this year it has cer- few occasions that the actors flub their the sun takes her advice and returns to Ziegenbock at Valhalla. But people 1940s Mexico, whether dealing with tainly succeeded in its goal. Although lines the audience is left trying to catch her solar system with a gift of free beer will gladly shell out $50 to see Cold- death or deciding on the ideal spread there are some small errors present in up. However, such errors were few and for her planets. play at the Woodlands Pavilion, or the production and a noticeable level far between, and the actors recovered This whimsical take on the solar four times that to go to Austin City of disorganization at times, the actors splendidly from the mistakes they system is silly and entertaining, but at Limits. Why shouldn't I pay that onstage are having so much fun that made, especially Stephanie Jordan, times the performance gets cumber- much to have fantastic seats at a sym- the audience can't help but join them in whose impressions are believable, ver- some. For instance, whenever all eight phony concert, aside from the lack of their enjoyment. satile and absolutely hilarious. planets are onstage, the six or seven Chris Martin's cheekbones? This year offers six one-act plays, The following act, "The Secret Life that aren't talking forget to stay in char- Well, because 1 would be pay- Wiess One-Acts beginning with "Smoke Scenes," which of the Planets," chronicles the rocky acter. This clutters the scene and dis- ing to see a cover band, which is, at consists of a progression of 50 mini- relationship between the sun and her tracts from the dialogue. its bluntest, exactly what conductor • • • • it scenes all somehow related to smok- planets. The sun has gotten tired of Nonetheless, there are many one- Hans Graf and the Houston Sympho- ing. The scenes begin with a few short the planets' petty snarking and wants liners that redeem the play, and some of Now Playing: Tonight, ny are. I suppose that's what classical conversations in which one of the ac- something better for her future, so she the characters are both outlandish and 8 p.m. and tomorrow, music has in common with pop mu- tors asks permission to light a cigarette. leaves the solar system behind in search outstanding. Carolyn Branecky wows 10 p.m., Wiess Commons sic of the last two decades: The per- The scenes progress through a variety of fame and fortune. as a very sassy Venus, and the Black Price: $3 Rice, $5 non-Rice formers aren't writing their own mu- of locations and characters, from a But as she journeys away from the Hole scene is priceless due to the classic. But the difference is that people busy street to a restaurant, from Arthur solar system, she encounters a bitter, sic efforts of Yahaira Verdejois, while paid to see the Backstreet Boys and Miller to Anton Chekhov. Christina Villareal presents what has Britney Spears perform their music, for a bagel, the Wiess Freshman One- to be the cutest satellite ever to leave not to see them perform music by Acts truly run the gamut. planet Earth. Max Martin. When people go to Jones A collection of short one-act plays SCREAMWORLD After the heart-warming end to Hall, they're going to see the com- put on every year during the fall se- "The Secret Life of the Planets," the posers' music, as interpreted by the ANIMALOPOLIS show takes a darker turn with "Varia- Houston Symphony. So what if Halloween's a tions on the Death of Trotsky." The And by all accounts — my own in- month off ?Screamworld offers Bored this weeked cause your scene opens with Leon Trotsky study- cluded — the Houston Symphony is a five different attractions (The family ditched you to go to ing at his desk, a giant axe protruding terrific cover band. Graf led his orches- Edge of Darkness, Monsters Boca Raton? You're in luck, from his head. His wife enters, and tra with a passion that let the music- in 3-D, The Maze of Maniacs HMNS is showing Animalopo- tells him that an encyclopedia from speak for itself, while still injecting a the future says he will die today due THE and the Tobias Strange Fam- lis on their big honking IMAX level of vivacity that connected with to head injury from a mountain climb- the audience. He also showed he can ily Cemetary) in one location screen. It's aimed at kids, but WEEKLY er's axe. conduct an accompaniment: Pianist to get your scream on! Tickets that doesn't necessarily mean The rest of the play is like reading Ingrid Fliter's spectacular Chopin SCENE are $25. Be sure to check the you won't learn anything. Stu- the "choose-your-own-adventure" concerto was given remarkable room Web site for all the different dent tickets are $9, check the version of Trotsky's death from front to breathe in front of a full symphony, Joe's picks for events spooky times and dates. site for times. to back instead of picking an adven- tilling the void with the tenacity Fliter outside the hedges, both ture and following that story. The is renowned for. scenes play and replay Trotsky's around Hir e and in the SCREAMWORLD HMNS Throughout the evening, when- death, his acceptance of his fate and ever I looked at the program I was Houston area, for this w«.'k. 2225 N. SAM HOUSTON PKWY 1 HERMANN CIRCLE the possibilities surrounding it. constantly reminded of the music's WWW.SCREAMWORLD.COM WWW.HMN5.ORG S[F-R KJJ F ondensed edition! Despite Trotsky's near loss of his authors. Which, unfortunately, is O see WIF.SS, page 12 O see CLASSIC, page 12 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER A&E 11 A Word With Your Wardrobe: Backstage at the Simon Malls fashion show If you've ever wondered what it's like backstage at a fashion show, you're about to get a taste.

Deanne Nguyen

Last Thursday, I had the pleasure of working behind the scenes as an intern at the Simon Fashion Now fall runway show, which kicked off the night on a majestic pop-up runway over the Gal- leria's ice rink and was held exclusively for the press and VIPs. In a nutshell, the event is a three-day animated window display of the clothing that will soon be available in stores, focusing on ready- to-wear luxury and mid-range sports- wear and whetting appetites for their eventual retail. For those of you familiar with the fashion industry, you are probably aware that this is slightly unusual. De- signers generally show their collections out of season — fall in the spring, and HN vice versa — because it takes time to make arrangements with buyers and produce garments in mass quantities, Clockwise from top: The fully-loaded garment racks are pulled in; view from backstage; a model awaits her all the while hoping their pieces will Dressing to the nines turn on the runway. end up being featured in key glossy Check out ricethresher.org's A&E section for a photo slideshow with more pictures from the event. magazines across the globe. Though this may not be the case in Houston or for this show in particular, the principle remains the same: getting people excited about the new season's clothes.

Monday And excited we were, those of us working backstage, despite the long list of to-dos. In order to keep up, I had to follow the show's preparation protocol to the letter. First, the presentation's outfits, or "looks," are selected weeks in advance by representatives from the various participating stores and the head stylists. Models are chosen and specifically assigned their own looks. The interns then pull the clothes from the stores, but not before accounting for all the pieces and any damage on the clothes, and drag veritable trains of garment racks to our provided hotel suite to hold the clothes. So begins the arduous sorting process.

Tuesday 1 Everyone takes a breather before the 'V** ii». mayhem begins. Time for some shopping! "V#V/AVW»V»V* Wednesday Looks for each model are grouped i I and placed in the order they are to appear on the runway. Shoes are marked with the model's name and the item's store, and the soles are taped to minimize scratching. Models are then refitted and pieces that require tailoring are rushed off to be handled, lest we end up doing it ourselves. Labels and instructions for dressers — the people who change the models £3 see FASHION, page 12 Kid Cudi blazes into stratosphere with Man on the Moon BY CASEY MICHEL (Lady Gaga, Katy Perry) and electron- try to tally the number of times he says anti-reefer crusaders can share. On tions about the epicenter of Cudi's is- THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF ica rockers (30H!3, Cobra Starship) "roll," "smoke" and/or "joint." "Up, Up & Away," Cudi flips that image- sues. the rapper follows with, "I'm su- in cracking open the musical tics that consciousness on its head: "In the end per paranoid like a sixth sense/ Since Kid Cudi does not have Drew Car- Generation Y has to offer. they'll judge me anyway, so whatever." my father died, I ain't been right since." ey's gut. He doesn't have King LeBron's And what an offering it is. Born Scott It doesn't matter if he's accepted or if Even in his swaying, teetering narration chalk-covered hands, nor does he have Ramon Segring Mescudi, Cudi's songs he's exiled — he's going to do it, so get of drunk driving, "Pursuit of Happiness the city's penchant for exporting crip- are as eclectic as his Mexican-African- out of his way. (Nightmare)," Cudi sees his trip turn pling depression. Native American heritage. Throughout But that doesn't mean he's necessar- awry: "What do you know about night He has nothing, and is nothing, you the album, Cudi blends his lethargic, Man on the Moon: ily going to enjoy it. With Cudi, there is terrors?" he asks, turning Ratatat's gui- would associate with Cleveland. viscous voice with Ratatat, enlists The End of Day a deeper, darker desire for feeling like tar moaning into cries of help, the song And he's about to change that. Gaga, Kanye and Common to remix and • • • • "Peter Pan minus the tights." When the into a eulogy for a life he chose to live. Cudi's major-label debut, Man on re-imagine one of the Lady's hits and rapper was 11, his father died of cancer, In the album's most poignant, and the Moon: The End of Day, puts the lets his true passion shine through in an leaving a hole in Cudi's psyche that's arguably successful, moments, Cudi's Rust Belt on the rap map. Cudi stretches anthem to all those who enjoy a hearty Artist: Kid Cudi as wide as the array of his stylings. thesis, as it were, shines through. "Soar- Lupe Fiasco and Common's Chicago wake-n'-bake. Label: GOOD Music "Soundtrack 2 My Life" begins with a ing, is this allowed? Sure hope I made lyricism, that of the street-corner poets, Most of Cudi's songs are an ode Release: Sept. 15 five-years-too-late turn-of-phrase, "I've my daddv proud." In an instant, Cudi and adds a slice of West Coast weed to "flying for freedom," absconding got 99 problems, and they all bitches," is transformed into his 11-year-old self, loving to craft an opening salvo the menial life with the aid of marijuana. but the chonis puts all humor to the above Cleveland's grime and backward likes of which haven't been seen since Cudi's first hit, "Day 'N' Nite," reminds Despite appearances, Cudi is an side: "I've got some issues that nobody through time. Eminem's The Slim Shady LP. Disdain listeners that he's a "lonely stoner |free- atypical rapper whose need for weed can see/ And all of these emotions are Cudi emotes his despair, his heavy, ing the lung-crushing bass of South ing| his mind at night." The 25-year-old ascends the flash-and-party scene. He's pouring out of me/1 bring them to the viscera! ache, and it makes you hurt. em hip hop and forgoing the requisite does not hesitate to share his love of the not smoking for the image or lighting light for you, it's only right/ This is the And that's what provides Cudi the put-downs that comprise most modern green with the audience, and only the up for superficiality. He simply needs soundtrack to my life." starkest separation: He shuns twisting joints, Cudi joins the new pop starlets most dedicated of dope-ophiles would to escape, a sentiment even the most If the listener has lingering ques- B see CUDI, page 12 FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 12 A&E THE RICE THRESHER • WIESS Love Happens never gets off the ground FROM PAGE 10 an's charm, only to find turmoil, as he wig/axe combo, the actors managed to BYKAITCHURA deliver the darkest performance of the FOR THE THRESHER is still coping with the death of his own wife and, ironically, is the only person night, but by no means the least entertaining. Although the play's subject Someone, somewhere, is terri- not getting help from his own book. matter is morbid, the play manages to ble at naming movies. If you want- In the end, it seems that the over- be funny rather than depressing, mostly ed to see a movie about love, you all "love story" thrown into the plot is due to the comic relief provided by Mrs. would think Love Happens would complete rubbish and something just Trotsky, played by Villareal, and Ramon be for you. Nope. added to get a female lead, seeing as Mercader, played by Andres Novoa. Now, if you are looking for a movie how there was zero chemistry between about coping with death, then maybe After Trotsky finally kicks the buck- this film is more up your alley. Love et for good, we experience yet another Happens is sure to attract groups of huge transition. "10,000 Cigarettes" giddy females on a girls' night out or is another act about smoking, but it is cute couples holding hands, all ex- told from the viewpoint of one woman, pecting a romantic comedy, but most Gloria, who is played by four actresses. They take turns narrating Gloria's love will find themselves shaking their Love Happens heads, slowly trying to wrap their for cigarettes, from the giddy first crush minds around the train wreck they just that led her to start smoking to her even- finished watching. A better title for this tual realization that she must quit. This scene fuses the considerable movie would have been Death Clouds Starring: Aaron Eckhart, talents of four actors. The suave so- Your Life, But Flowers Can Help. I'm cer- Jennifer Aniston phistication of Lisa Hendricks, the sul- tainly not a professional, so when I can Rated: PG-13 try sex appeal of Emily Viehman, the come up with a better title, you know Released: Sept. 18 there's something wrong. V sweet excitability of Emily Nichol and the matter-of-fact confidence of Lauren But it wasn't just that the title was Thies blend together to depict the vari- misleading: After seeing Aaron Eck- Burke Ryan (Eckhart) and Eloise (Aniston) fizzle in Love Happens. ous facets of one person's experiences hart in No Reservations and Jennifer Aniston and Eckhart. Maybe it will be with smoking, aptly describing the Aniston in Along Came Polly, it seemed in the deleted scenes on the DVD? Who glamour and luxury that Gloria associ- clear that the mixture of the two of knows? There is no "zip," or romantic edy. It keeps with her recent theme Eckhart's right hand man and man- ates with smoking, her many "cigarette them would create wonderful comedic connection, between the two leads. of choosing movies that seem funny ager, reminds the audience of a less fantasies" and the bleak realization chemistry. Alas, their love, fictional They are polar opposites, and their ro- when they are not (see: The Break-Up funny Jonah Hill. He is obviously the that she is slowly killing herself. An and forced, was not meant to be. mance never stands a chance. or Rumor Has It...), but even in a film comic relief, yet he is unable to give the engaging and absorbing piece, "10,000 Eckhart plays bestselling author Still, it can be said that Eckhart about death, her comedic knack shows performance he tries to provide. Cigarettes" gracefully and intelligently Burke Ryan, whose book A-Okay fo- made something out of a horrible role. through where it can. She will find her Whoever titled this movie Love handles a wide range of subject matter. cuses on helping grieving people cope On paper his character might have movie eventually, but right now maybe Happens must have not watched it. with the loss of a loved one. While at seemed like a good idea, but on the "Friends" re-runs are a better option to Without the romantic chemistry be- Contrasted with the dire realizations a conference in Seattle to promote his screen it was definitely not, boring and provide comedic entertainment. tween Aniston and Eckhart, this movie at the end of "10,000 Cigarettes," the book, he notices the hotel florist writ- staid as he is. Yet Eckhart proved his Individually, these two actors work turns into a story about death, which next piece, "Bagel Club." is a ?any piece ing mysterious words under picture acting chops and, somehow, kept the just fine. But when together in this is not the feel-good film a movie-goer of fun. "Bagel Club ucidils the dissolu- frames around the hotel. This flower audience from leaving. movie, the fireworks are doused in wa- usually pays to see. tion of the eponymous organization, a lady, Aniston's Eloise, fakes deafness On the other hand, Aniston, a tal- ter and never make it off the ground. As for me, I'll be waiting for my group of three bagel aficionados domi- to avoid speaking to him when he tries ent in her own right, needs to keep That goes for the other cast members, paychecks for renaming the movie. Ad- nated by their quirky and deliciously to flirt. Eloise eventually gives in to Ry- waiting for the right romantic com- as well. John Carroll Lynch, who plays dress them to Wiess College, please. dictatorial leader, Amanda, played by Gabi Chennisi. The trouble starts when Stephanie, played by Meredith Ventura, tries to Q FASHION O GRAMMY bring out a flask of coffee to drink with FROM PAGE 11 FROM PAGE 10 her bagel. This is against the rules, as only bagels are allowed in Bagel Club, — are written and placed in clear that at 63 years old, he felt too old to to point out and recognize the support he Still, his ensemble probably didn't leading the group to dissolve into an pouches on each outfit to ensure worry about being famous. gets from the rest of his jazz ensemble. have the same reaction to the news as argument about Amanda's leadership maximum visibility and eliminate "It's not about [being famous]," he "It's not just me — it's us, and Yamal. Upon hearing about the nomi- policies until Amanda finally leaves as much confusion as possible. said. "It's about making good music that's a big deal to me," he said. nation, Yamal said, "I jumped and and Stephanie assumes leadership of Clothing tags are either snipped or ... and I guess this [nomination] is just "You're only as good as your ac- did a heel click." Bagel Club. hidden, especially on jewelry. Trash proof that good music does count, be- companiment, you know what 1 The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards This is a failure, however, and the quickly accumulates as the garment cause let's face it: There's a lot of bad mean? Without them 1 couldn't have will air on Jan. 31, 2010, at 8 p.m. ET/ group dissolves completely, leaving preparations near completion. Ev- music around." achieved this, and it would be foolish PT on CBS. No Worries is available on Stephanie to sit alone by herself. David ery item is meticulously checked All talk of fame aside, Slezak is quick to think I could." both iTunes and Amazon MP3. Wang's awkwardness as Joey and Ven- and double-checked, from the mo- tura's skillful portrayal of Stephanie's ment we pull the garments from the injured anger, combined with the absurd rack all the way to the runway. KTRU TOP 35: WEEK OF SEPT. 20,2009 heavy-handedness of Amanda, create a O CLASSIC hilarious portrayal of the petty argu- Thursday FROM PAGE 10 Tune in anytime, anywhere @ ktru.org ments that finally destroy Bagel Club. The day of the show is all about The next play, "Kingdom of the Spi- setup: rushing racks down to their what prevents classical music from artist album label der," opens when Bob, a new father spots, maintaining their order and being as accessible as its modern various ktru local live vol. 1 k*:u and stay-at-home dad, is confronted by going over the details with the black- counterpart. In order to fully appreci- black moth super rainbow eating us gra\/eface a black widow spider on his front porch. clad dressers. Models arrive more or ate classical performance, one needs various cool cats sub rosa The spider tells him to keep his one- less on time for hair and makeup, to understand how it relates to prior angell, theo tenebrae amish year-old son away from her because and hairspray quickly permeates the interpretations of the piece and the various well hung finders-keeepers she is pregnant and needs her rest. She room. Roll call is taken for the looks historical context behind it. Not an whitmore, william eliiot animals in the dark anti- then goes on to take Bob to task for his and damages are assessed one last easy task. wooden shjips dos holy mountain fear of taking responsibility. time before the first looks are assem- So how do we make classical mu- mouthful of bees mouthful of bees afternoon records As they argue, a young missionary bled on the models. everything she touched turned sic more appealing for a younger gen- prefuse 73 warp approaches Bob and tries to preach to Though there are hours before the eration? Rice Night is a great start. By to ampexian him. But Bob snaps, yelling at the girl show is to supposed to start, when making an "event" out of performanc- jalan jalan urck and asking her what Jesus has to do with 8 p.m. rolls around, the seconds es that happen two or three times hymn to the immortal wind temporary residence his problems, his child and his house. I aren't long enough. a week, the Symphony makes their micachu jewellery rough trade The talking black widow, who I foubert, casey/james The show opened with SoReal tickets more attractive. If the Hous- volume 3: music for drums asthmatic kitty doesn't seem to faze the missionary, Cru, a break dance group hired by ton Symphony could learn from Rice mcalister tries to calm Bob down and apologizes. potato hole Jimmy Choo Shoes, whose youth- Night and host cheap nights for col- jones, booker t. anti- But Bob refuses to calm down. Instead infused demonstration rivaled rock lege students a lew times a year, com- medard, bix bix medard altair music he borrows a pamphlet from the mis- violinist Bobby Yang's performance plete with a reception and talk from these are powers all aboard future dead oceans sionary and kills the black widow with at last fall's show. All this was briefly the conductor and soloist, then maybe elfin saddle ringing for the begin again constellation it, despite the missionary's pleading. seen backstage however, as our main they can make subscribers out of some various the sounds of wonder finders keepers The missionary, shocked by the vio- focus was on the execution of each of us 10 years down the line. discovery IP xl recordings lence of the fight, leaves the stage in the end of earth look that went out on the runway. Or, failing that, at least bring out paradox called to mind midst of a religious crisis. royal family divorce fat cat Clothes flew everywhere between the seventh-grade classical-music storsveit nix noltes The play ends the show on an awk- nigeria 70-the definitive story of outfit changes and, thankfully, the aficionado in all of us. strut ward, uncomfortable note. It was an various 1970s funky lagos music was loud enough to cover the odd choice for an ending, but the scene repo paw tracks yells for skirts to be zipped or ties to black dice itself was interesting and engaging. Kiki bklyn heavy sounds from the be tightened. bastard jazz OCUDI various county of kings Ogu brings plenty of energy and attitude The last look was a massive, FROM PAGE 11 savath & savalas la llama stones throw to the play as the Black Widow, and Jen- black Cinderella-esque gown that queen africa montego bay vp nifer Shafer is a very sweet and earnest required three girls to hoist onstage rhymes for raw emotions, turns Mem on Hawthorne, mayer a strange arrangement missionary girl. Together, they add a before stuffing the model behind the Moon into his lyrical Livejournal. the sexual life of the savages: stones throw healthy dose of humor to a play about a the main screen. Despite the few Cudi masterfully shapes this heartache underground post-punk from man's struggle to redefine himself. soul jazz records loose tags and a model who almost into thumping, focused reassurance, sao paolo But then, perhaps it is the perfect tripped, the show ran as orderly as both for himself and for us. sleepwalking through the m80 note to end on. "Kingdom of the Spider" mekong it was arranged. A few tracks are a little too far out is just as awkward as the amalgamation Being a ringleader is just as fun there, a little too disjointed, to warrant nuggets ii: original artyfacts various rhino of the six acts in their entirety, but no as watching the circus, but it took a a second listen. But those empty slots from the british empire and beyond 1964-1969 less entertaining. Running an hour and lot of patience and fast management crumple under the weight of Cudi's clas- cave psychic summer important a half long, the One Acts are nothing sics. The 25-year-old takes us to the moon not to mention woman-hours - various score! merge more than lighthearted entertainment, and back, baring his weed-laced wounds on my part. But it's about, and for, branch, billie and lurrie peppered with serious moments and in- clothes, so of course to me it's worth and showing us that soaring doesn't al- bell and the sons of Chicago's young blue generation evidence trospection, and audiences will surely a little sweat. Now if only I could just ways need to be about getting high. And blues leave feeling at least a little bit lighter convince the designers to let me keep he shows us that Cleveland doesn't al- bonnie "prince" billy ask forgiveness domino than they did before the show. some of the shoes. ways have to rock — now, it can rap. city center city center type Sports is now on Twitter. Get the scoop at twitter.com/ThresherSports 13 Football stumbles against another Big 12 foe Rice comes home for first time tomorrow, looking to avenge last year's early-season loss to Vanderbilt

By Meghan Hall down, we told ourselves, 'We can play with these THRESHER STAFF guys.' Just because they're Big 12, just because they have Oklahoma State across their chest, that If you wanted to, you could say that the foot- doesn't mean anything. They put on their socks ball team's game last weekend looked no different the same way we put on our socks. They're hu- from the previous two. The Owls (0-3, 0-1 Confer- man like us. We approach it as 'Hey, even though ence USA) fell to i6th-ranked Oklahoma State Uni- we're down, we're going to give 110-percent effort versity 41-24, their third-straight double-digit loss and let things take care of itself.'" to run their season into an early hole. Thanks in part to four first-time starters, the But the score was mislead- refreshed defense looked ready ing, because the feeling of the to play. They held the Cowboys game was vastly different than (2-1) to 351 yards, a strong im- the previous exasperating provement from the 560 yards losses against the University of they gave up to the Red Raid- Alabama at Binningham and FOOTBALL VS. ers the weekend before. And Texas Tech University. Oklahoma State notched only This was Rice's third VANDERBILT 18 first downs, 10 fewer than straight game on the road Texas Tech did. and second consecutive game WHEN "I was extremely proud of against a formidable Big 12 Saturday, 7 p.m. oui defensive effort," Head opponent. Against Texas Tech WHERE Coach David Bailiff said. "I (2-1) two weeks ago, the Owls Rice Stadium thought they played one of kept it close through halftime their better games since I've but were outscored 41-7 in the HISTORY been here, and it's been three Last season Vanderbilt hand- second half. ed Rice one of its three losses years [since I arrived]. Playing In last Saturday's game, last season, defeating the with passion, running the foot- however, Rice found itself Owls 38-21 in Nashville, Tenn. ball and being fundamentally on top in the second half, up sound and at the same time 21-20 with 12:24 left in the third taking some risks to be great." quarter. A large part of that im- Bailiff was quick to provement was due to a stepped-up effort by the praise Ozougwu, who led the team with a ca- defense. The unit surrendered over 40 points for reer-high eight tackles. the third consecutive week, but a newfound re- "Cheta had eight tackles and he ran all over Senior Andrew Sendejo grabs one of his two punt returns against Oklahoma State last solve prevented the precipitous collapse that had that field," Bailiff said. "That was the best game Saturday. The Owls fell 41-24 to the second Big 12 opponent in as many weeks and will defined the previous two contests. Cheta has ever played at Rice and now we know return home tomorrow against Vanderbilt in search of their first win. "The past two games were really tough on the what to expect from him weekly. I was so proud of defense," junior defensive end Cheta Ozougwu him and that remarkable effort." said. "We really took that to heart. [Defensive More remarkable efforts came at the hands of has struggled to finish drives and put points on Fanuzzi amassed new career highs with 16 of Line] Coach [Darin Eliot] has been grinding it in the offense, which had its most consistent game of the board. Offensive success often starts with the 28 passes completed for 182 yards. He led the Owls our hearts. We had that sour taste in our mouths the season. Although Rice has won the possession- quarterback, and it did last week with sophomore deep down the field three times in the second half and we wanted to get it out. Even though we were time battle in each of its three games, the offense Nick Fanuzzi. O see FOOTBALL, page IC Battlesows start season by downing rival Hanszen next play, and with 21 seconds left, Jackson By Ryan Glassman found Bryan in the endzone for a touchdown. FOR THE THRESHER Trailing 7-6, Wiess went back to their running game on the extra point as Gill took the hand- After a relatively quiet first week, the pow- off on the left side into the end zone, leaving a derpuff season took flight last weekend with a number of defenders in her dust while tying the number of headline match ups filling the slate. game up. Two teams made their season debuts, as Wiess Adapting NCAA overtime rules, the game's College took the field for the first time against overtime session began with Wiess on offense Hanszen College and the Will Rice College-Mc- at Hanszen's 20-yard line. After an incomple- Murtry College tandem squad made its season tion and a pair of running plays, Wiess faced a debut in a match-up with Brown College. pivotal fourth-and-six. Placing the game in the While the focus of both of these teams was hands of their playmakers, the Battlesows elect- a solid start, it was the finishes that highlight- ed for a passing play to Tiffany Gill, who held on ed a highly-entertaining weekend of football. to a ball in traffic for a first down and a gain of Both Jones College and Lovett College earned nine yards. memorable victories over the weekend, each Three plays later, Wiess faced yet another in suspenseful and unique fashion. And while fourth down, this time from the one-yard line. the Jones-Sid Richardson College finish was Once again, they went to Gill, who took a toss one for the record books, it was not the focus to the left side and strolled into the end zone for of our Game of the Week. Wiess and Hanszen the score. Wiess junior Tiffany Gill gains yardage alongside strong blocks by senior Tracy Dansker, squared off on Sunday in a rivalry game that After Gill converted the extra point, Han- needed to play a few extra minutes before a sophomores Allexa Hammond and Courtney Souza and junior Molly Bryan (L-R) against Han- szen's offense stepped onto the field needing winner was declared. szen on Sunday. An overtime touchdown gave the Battlesows the win in the season opener. a touchdown and an extra point to send the game into a second overtime. However, Wiess' Game of the Week defense stepped up to the challenge, stopping a Wiess 13, Hanszen 7 (OT) sive efforts on both sides, as neither squad put Wirth returned the ball all the way to the run play and knocking down two passes before Wearing its traditional black-and-goldenrod any points on the board through the first two Wiess two-yard line, setting up a touchdown a sack on fourth down by freshman Erica Harris uniforms, Wiess entered its Sunday showdown quarters. The two teams gained a combined 53 scramble by senior quarterback Alyssa Cotter- brought the thrilling game to an end. with rival Hanszen, knowing one thing: They yards in a quiet first half that featured six punts man (5/11, 67 yards, one TD) three plays later. After the post-game celebration came to a were going to live and die by their backfield tan- and three turnovers on downs. Wiess moved the After converting the extra point through the air, close and both teams began to depart the field, dem of juniors Tiffany Gill and Molly Bryan. ball inside Hanszen's 40-yard line, but failed to Hanszen broke the scoreless tie with time run- there was still a buzz amongst the fans about "They're our own version of thunder and convert a fourth down as the first half came to ning down in the fourth quarter. the suspense that had just unfolded. lighting," Wiess coach Justin Stafford said. "We a close. Wiess pounded the ball with Gill on the "That was really a fun time," Stafford said wouldn't trade them for anyone in the league." After an entertaining rendition of Beyonce's following drive, going to the ground on the when asked about his thoughts on the team's But through three-and-a-half quarters of hit song "Single Ladies" by Hanszen freshman first eight plays while moving the ball to first game. "Down in the fourth quarter with hard-nosed football, Hanszen contained the Jarvis Sam, the two teams exchanged punts Hanszen's 30. But Hanszen's defense once again a 1:20 left, we really looked like a veteran duo with great success. When it came down on their opening drives before Wiess took over frustrated the Wiess offensive unit, halting the team today." to crunch time, however, Wiess' pair of backs on their own 27. After a pair of runs by Gill running game and forcing a crucial fourth-and- Sunday was a day for the Wiess upperclass- came up big with a number of stellar plays, (28 touches, 105 yards, one I'D), Wiess went to five pass incomplete. With less than three min- men, earning them their first-ever win over leading their team to an overtime 13-7 win in the the air, only to have junior quarterback Rachel utes left, Hanszen took over in their own terri Hanszen while making innumerable big plays South Servery Shootout. Jackson's (9/18, 123 yards, one TD) pass inter- tory with the 7-0 lead. down the stretch on both sides of the ball. And The game's first half featured strong defen- cepted by Hanszen senior Jaime Wirth. Wiess' defensive unit took the field and as another chapter is written in the rivalry of quickly stopped Hanszen with a three-and- the adjacent south colleges, one can onlv hope out. The Battlesow offense efficiently managed for more excitement in the weeks of powder- their timeouts and got the ball back on their puff to come. own 27 with just 1:19 left in the game. After an incompletion on first down, Jackson connected Jones 13, Lovett 6 downfield with Bryan (seven touches, 79 yards, Lovett sophomore Claire Pawlik scored the listen to the Sports Staff's fcouwdtable Piscussion one TD) for a 57-yard gain, eluding defenders game's first points, accounting for Lovett's Check the Sports Plog ® down the left sideline before being brought first touchdown in over a year of powderpuff down at Hanszen's 16-yard line. action. But Jones responded with a potent http./fbloqs.ricethreshemrg/sports Gill gained 11 yards on the ground on the O see POWDERPUFF, page 18

••I FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER Cross country squads win two titles in home meet ^ give as many vitmnAvrunnerse aies nnectKlpossibloe aon opportunity to compete. Men's team builds "We're still defining what's best for this year and the future," Bevan said. on recent success "By running people unattached, everyone could run without affecting anyone's eligibility." with weekend win Bevan was impressed by the improvement the sophomore class showed By Jonathan Myers from last season all-around, especially THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF Reynolds and Thompson, the first offi cial Rice finisher. Rumor has it that the men's "[Thompson] was the first Rice cross country team was chanting runner and was almost one minute the popular Under Armour slogan better than a year ago," Bevan said. "We must protect this house!" be- "It was delightful to see how far she fore the start of Saturday's Rice has progressed." Invitational. While no one will The freshman class also showed in fess up to it, there is nothing to be their performances on Saturday that ashamed of. they will be able to contribute to the Their finish would have made success of the team as a whole. The the folks at Under Armour proud. meet was the first collegiate competi- The Owls successfully built off tion for six freshmen, allowing them of their performance three weeks to wet their feet in Division I compe- ago at the Johnny Morriss Invita- tition while still on familiar ground. tional, finishing an impressive first The home atmosphere certainly didn't at the Rice Invitational. With the hurt, as all ran well and Olson and University of Houston only running Ohm earned the right to compete for three runners in the race, and thus Rice today at the Texas A&M Univer- not counting towards the team scor- sity at Corpus Christi Invitational. ing, Rice achieved a perfect score of Williams said she felt the team's per- 15 with five of the first six runners MtWW formance showed great promise. across the finish line. K" s: * "I was totally excited," Williams Senior Simon Bucknell took first said. "I had no idea what was going place, with redshirt sophomore Mi- to happen, so it was great to see a few chael Trejo finishing four-tenths of unexpected performances. For exam- a second behind in the 5400-me- ple, I had zero idea how impressively ter race. Redshirt freshman Matt Heather Olson would perform. I was re- Carey was 21 seconds behind them • "v~ ARIEL sNMrTZEft/TrittESHUI ally pleased to see how strong our team in third place, with fellow redshirt mU?.: 4* '•* A* really is." freshmen Gabe Cuadra and James Regardless of who is in uniform at Senior Scott Zivick (54) and redshirt freshmen James Llamas (52) and Gabe Cuadra (50) run in the men's race Llamas taking fifth and sixth place, this evening's meet, Bevan emphasized respectively. Saturday, while senior Claire Shorall (8), sophomore transfer Halsey Fowler (35) and sophomore Marie Thomp- that he is still configuring the team's Head Coach Jon Warren son (10) compete in the women's race. Rice won both races handily. line-up for the first big meet of the sea- (Jones '88) was pleased with the son, beginning in one week at the Uni- team's accomplishment but quickly versity of Notre Dame. brought a realistic viewpoint to the to successfully compete. tors were mixed in with those dressed "We're still deciding what's best for circumstances of the meet. "Our first real meet is going to Women dominate in blue and grey. Britany and Becky [this weekend]," Be- "These meets don't count," War- be [the Cowboy Jamboree]," War- Junior Becky Wade, senior Britany van said. "Whatever we do, though ... ren said. "The meets with national ren said. "We are going to cut back Williams and freshman Heather Olson we'll be really ready." meet-qualifying points start this our training for it next week, but race, participation finished first through third, all unat- For the time being, all those in week. These are more like scrim- we will have a really good training tached. Sophomore Marie Thompson Rice uniforms last weekend will run mages, so you look at things dif- week this week, and then hope to By Natalie Clericuzio placed fourth, followed by unattached again in today's meet, which will ferently. Houston might have held run smart and fast. If we can have THRESHER EDITORIAL STAFF transfer from the University of Arkan- include eight schools, most impor- people out that were healthy, since one or two up front, and a 40-50 sas Halsey Fowler. Freshman Johanna tantly the University of Texas and they are racing this weekend. We finish in team scoring, I will be Out of the 39 runners at last Satur- Ohm, sophomore Michaela Reynolds TAMU-CC, fifth and seventh in the didn't have much of a college race pleased. There are going to be some day's Rice Invitational collegiate wom- and senior Claire Shorall rounded out region, respectively. The inclusion this weekend, but in team scoring really good frontrunners and some en's race, 17 were members of Rice's the top octet. of such competitive schools will al- we got one through seven. We got a junior colleges with Kenyan run- women's cross country team. Thus, not Houston Baptist University low Rice, second in the region and nice workout in and 1 got to see and ners. We don't want a drop off from only does Head Coach Jim Bevan have placed second with 45 points be- 20th in the nation, to evaluate their learn some things about people. It our third to fifth runners." more runners on his roster than ever behind Rice's 16 points, and Prairie abilities in a larger meet than this was a positive weekend." Cuadra echoed Warren's views fore, but also he can almost held a full View A&M University finished third past weekend's race. With Bucknell making his first on running as a group, a focus the meet with just his team. with 82 points. No matter what happens this week- appearance of the season — the team has maintained in their previ- "It was almost a meet between Missing from competition were se- end, however, the performance of the senior sat out the Johnny Morriss ous two races. the unattached and Rice runners," nior Nicole Mericle and junior Allison freshman class thus far has reinforced Invitational because of a history of "We need to run smart and as Bevan said. Pye, both still battling injuries. Mericle to Bevan that the future of the cross minor injuries sustained at the be- a group, like we have been talking With that many Owls running on broke her foot last spring and Pye has country team is in good hands. ginning of past seasons — Warren about," Cuadra said. "We really the Rice campus, the team ran with ev- been dealing with reoccurring shin "The freshmen are learning a lot, praised his ability to jump into the don't know where we are talent- ery advantage and the results reflected splints since the summer. and the upperclassmen are helping a mix and produce results. wise right now in comparison to the favorable conditions. The first eight With these questions still remain- lot," Bevan said. "Youth was the focus "Simon's performance was bet- other teams, but we're looking finishers at the meet were all Rice run- ing in his line-up, Bevan opted to more than anything this weekend and ter than he's ever done," Warren O see MEN'S XC, page 18 ners, although the unattached competi- run the several unattached Owls to that will help us down the road." said. "He's been here all summer so he's a little bit more used to the heat, and the race was short, but I thought he and Michael ran well. In I (s\ € € V \ Cs fact, I thought we had five guys run very well." Technologies for J Inner WellbeinqJ Cuadra also felt Bucknell's return was an excellent boost for the 7 Day Program Led by an Isha Yoga Teacher team, adding that Carey's pace-setting should be applauded. October 14-20, 2009 "We had two really big pluses on IORDER@ Holiday Inn, 11160 Southwest Freeway, Houston, TX 77031 Saturday," Cuadra said. "One was Isha Yoga programs are a rare opportunity for self-discovery. They offer interactive discussions, meditations and a balanced set of simple but powerful yoga practices. that Simon came back and had a The Inner Engineering program includes Shambhavi Maha Mudra, an ancient kriya great race, and the other was that (an internal energy process) never before offered publicly. Matt looked a lot more comfortable Isha Yoga teachers undergo intensive, fulltime, residential training for 4-8 years in order *0NUNE to preserve the authenticity of the programs and'practices. The teachers are unpaid in setting the pace for the majority volunteers functioning as live mediums for Sadhguru to impart a process which has of the race." @ JIMMYJOHNS.COM I deeply touched and transformed their own lives The execution of the team strat- Together the program and practices establish health and vitality, enhance mental egy of staying together proved calm and clarity and install a deep sense of joy. This foundation of total wellbeing fruitful yet again, a success that the accelerates personal growth, allowing you to tap the wealth of vibrant life within you. Owls will need to continue in order th to achieve similar results at their Introductory Talk: Oct. 14 next meet, the Cowboy Jamboree 6:30pm-7:30pm on Oct. 3. FREE and open to all "I liked the bunching," Warren said. "I think they did a good job Contact: 866-424-ISHA (4742) o MM s Email: [email protected] hanging together. ... I think we've SA potentially got a group of one or www.lshaYoga.org two front runners and three or four guys that can run solid." The level of talent will be much 2401 W. HOLCOMBE BLVD. higher, with second-ranked Okla- homa State University and nth- 713.741.0600 isLyaVto^ ranked University of Tulsa attending the meet. Warren understands that Rice will need one or two run- ORDER ONLINEATJIMMVJOHNS.COM ners to step up in order for the Owls • ?tn JI**T JiHNfiiflcmsf 11c in IICMK ir.fivio FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER SPORTS 15 Soccer avoids loss in deadlock against New Mexico Last-minute corner kick by Coralli finds back of the net but overtime proves fruitless for Rice By Teddy Grodek When the team returned to the FOR THE 7> field, it had a new spring in its step, as it took the upper hand in the con- The stars were aligned, the signs test and began constantly on the at- pointed to "yes" and the wind was tack. Then, in the 55th minute, a ball blowing in the right direction last managed to snake through the Owls weekend because, for the first time midfield and defense, and a Lobo shot this season, the women's soccer rocketed off the crossbar. Midfielder team played to its full potential. Jael Fanning then found a rebound Unfortunately, their best still and deposited the ball into the back of could not earn the Owls (2-4-2) a win. the net for the Lobos. Facing the regionally-ranked Following the New Mexico goal, the University of New Mexico at home dynamics of the game shifted as Rice last Friday, the Owls played their scrambled to regain its momentum. way to a 1-1 draw. The Lobos (8- According to Lucas, this scramble in- 0-2) entered the contest as one of dicated another mental lapse for the only 20 undefeated teams in the soccer team. nation and had recently broken "One of the things we're trying to their school record for consecutive work on, and that we've noticed this games played without a loss, which season, is that we have to play the v they extended against Rice. whole 90 minutes," Lucas said. "We u But to have tied the Lobos was can't have any four- or five-minute • : • _ an accomplishment in itself, espe- mental breaks. That is something ft*. \ cially considering how obviously we're really trying to focus on going Rice lagged in the first half. Even into conference, because it's those though the score was tied 0-0 at little five-minute mental lapses that ' halftime, the Owls had been on the end up costing us." defensive most of the time. The Lo- Rice quickly regained its sharp bos doubled the Owls total shots play and once again created oppor- and were winning the corner kick tunities for the team to score. Once a Sophomore Hope Ward and senior defender Alexa Coralli connected in the 88th minute for a game-tyinggoal against battle 4-0. ball ricocheted off the crossbar, forc- Only once halftime rolled around ing Lobo goalkeeper Kelli Cornell to undefeated New Mexico. The Owls open their conference slate today as they take on ECU in Greenville, N.C. did the team dig deep, according to dive multiple times as the Owls at senior midfielder Ashley Lucas. tempted to even the score. "We started off slow the first As the game drew to a close, and determination. To score a goal lor streaked down the right side of the champion East Carolina University (5- half," Lucas said. "It kind of took Rice had not yet managed to score in the 88th minute is more so. We all field with the ball. She ripped a shot 1-2) on Friday and then travel to Mar- us awhile to get into the groove of an equalizing mark, but the women were going crazy and we just had a that looked true, but the ball ended shall University(7-i-o) on Sunday. things. We had a major halftime were still fighting valiantly. Light- huge momentum shift. We thought, up going just wide and the whistle Lucas, who is fourth on the team speech where we kind of got ripped. ning finally struck in the 88th min- 'All right, score one more goal, get blew shortly after, ending the match with 10 shots, is optimistic about her We weren't playing Rice soccer. We ute for the Owls on a corner kick de- the win and take care of business."' Friday's contest was the Owls' team's chances in Conference USA. weren't playing the way we knew livered by sophomore forward Hope The Owls were clearly leaving final game before beginning confer- "Starting off conference play, how to play. It was going to take us Ward to the feet of senior defender everything on the field as they domi- ence play and an important step to we all start on a whole new slate, stepping it up and really get going Alexi Corrali, who blasted the ball nated the ball in overtime, throwing finding confidence before critical and everyone starts with a record in the second half. We had to put into the back corner of the net to tie everything they could at the Lobos. matches. The team heads into confer- of 0-0-0," Lucas said. "Going into balls in the back of the net and do the game at one. Rice had one final look at a goal late ence competition optimistic after its conference ... we have to finish our what we knew how to do in order to "We were going nuts," Lucas in the second 10-minute overtime pe- solid play Friday night. They travel to opportunities and go out and work get the result we wanted." said. "To score a goal is pure heart riod, when junior forward Korey Tay- face defending league regular season our butts off and play Rice soccer."

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FORWARD thinking

+ 16 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009 O FOOTBALL COMMENTARY FROM PAGE 13

close enough for freshman running ing to go out here and score.' It kind you could tell the whole attitude on back Charles Ross to take the ball in for of lifts up both sides of the football. the sideline and on the field was very Staying true to the Graya touchdow n each time. ... It's unfortunate how the game positive," Fanuzzi said. "We were in "Offensively, I was so proud of Nick ended, but nonetheless it was a lot of the game. It was a good ball game and Fanuzzi and the performance he had fun and was great to be out there and things were going our way. I definitely and Blue the weekend where he led us three scoring drives in a play some football." felt like there was a change in attitude. row," Bailiff said. "We've got to build on Fanuzzi was not the only one enjoy- Coming from, 'Okay, we can hang with umph, i mis1 hit them in the gut in a The last time we saw the foot- that. We've got to keep improving." ing himself, as Ozougwu credited the these guys,' to, 'We can pull this one way they couldn't hew imagined. ball team, they were hoisting a Redshirt senior John Thomas Shep- experience as a game-changer. out.' It's a great feeling. Now we just Which is why season ain't glistening Texas Bowl trophy to herd got some playing time in as well, "The most important thing that we have to look forward to continuing that over yet. the sky, the crowning spectacle to completing 12 passes for 119 yards. The did differently from the past two games into this next week." These guys have been there. an unforgettable season in which two quarterbacks combined for 301 is that we actually had fun," Ozougwu Tomorrow the Owls return to Rice Twice. They have seen the top, Rice grabbed its first bowl win in passing yards, Rice's highest total of said. "We went out there and we de- Stadium for the first time all season tasted the tro- 58 years. The the season. cided we were going to be accountable. as they host Vanderbilt University at phies and know stars that night The receiving duties were once again There have been many times where 7 p.m. in the home opener. So far this what a return to were big and spread wide among seven different re- we've been in the right position, we've season Vanderbilt has yet to defeat the postseason bright, deep in ceivers, with senior Toren Dixon collect- been having great game plans for the any Football Bowl Subdivision school. will require. the heart of Reli- ing his first 100-yard game of the season past two games and we've just got to Rice lost a tight contest against the They know their ant Stadium. with 120 yards on nine catches. Senior make the plays. The most important Commodores last year on the road, so conference is as My, how time Jeramy Goodson made his first career thing to strive for is being accountable the team is ready to avenge one of its wide open as it's flies. start for the Owls, leading the rushing to the brothers next to you." few 2008 defeats. The NFL draft Casey Michel ever been, dou- EDITOR IN CHIEF attack with 55 yards. Ross only netted Oklahoma State came out of the "We are learning lessons from los- whisked away bling the plea- seven rushing yards but accounted for gate running, no doubt thanks to its ing, and I want to start learning some Jarett Dillard sure they must 21 of Rice's points. surprise loss against the University of from winning," Bailiff said. "Even and shuttled James Casey three have taken in seeing former coach "Just to see the end [of the drive] Houston the week before. The Cowboys though we've improved as a football miles down the road, and a new Todd Graham lead his University of result with scoring I think is just huge managed two touchdowns in the first 16 team, we still make mistakes that we're life outside of football awaited Tulsa on a 45-0 choke-job against for us, because in the previous two minutes of play, the second off a fumble going to have to eliminate.... If we get the well-coiffed gunslinger Chase the University of Oklahoma last games we were making some good recovery that ended in a 51-yard score. our best players out on the field, I think Clement. Our coaching staff took week. They know the Conference drives but we couldn't punch it in And although Rice came back admira- we can compete with them, and if we a hit, with former offensive co- USA crown, long entrenched in the and get six," Fanuzzi said. "I think it bly after halftime, it was not enough to eliminate those mistakes I'm talking ordinator Tom Herman hitching Golden Hurricane's grasp, is ripe was just big for our team. It also just overcome the early deficit. about, and we continue to improve, a ride to Iowa State, and our de- for the taking. showed the defense, 'Hey, we're go- "We got momentum going and we'll have our chances." fense parted with three starters, And they know their history. disrupting a scheme that was just In 2006, the Owls, then under Gra- getting a handle on how exactly to ham, found themselves flattened stymie opposing offenses. in four straight games, allowing an The offense was gutted. The average of 41 points and staring at based on a true story... defense was left teetering. The an oh-fer on the record books. And coaching staff was infused with what happened? In seven of their unfortunately new, foreign blood. Head Coach next eight games, the Owls bullied, David Bailiff is good, but he's no bashed and blitzed their way to sev- David Blaine. en wins and an appearance in the College athletics easily lends nationally-televised R+L Carriers itself to rebuilding schema, and New Orleans Bowl, a feat one could this year's team fits the mold better argue was the greatest achievement than a Notre Dame fan and alcohol- in the program's history. ism. The quarterback situation has So don't let thai bagel in the had fans in the dark for months, win column fool you. Our winless- with Nick Fanuzzi and John Thom- ness hasn't turned the postseason as Shepherd connecting, it seems, into a pipe dream. only when tossing the starting Not with Vanderbilt Univer- role to the other. The defense, the sity, without a victory in Football presumptive stalwarts of the team Bowl Subdivision play, coming with their eight returning starters, to town tomorrow. Not with the have bungled and bobbled their rest of the home stands taken up way to allowing the third-highest by reeling Tulsa and floundering points-against average in Division Navy, whose only victory came I football, giving up 46.7 points in against a pitiable Louisiana Tech the team's three losses. Last week's University squad. Not when you loss was an improvement, gifting peel back the stats in the Okla- Oklahoma State University only homa State game and find that (gulp) 41 points. we had more total offensive yards Our receivers are proving ca- than the Pokies. pable — Toren Dixon and Taylor Not when you remember that Wardlow already have double- those three losses have all been digit receptions, with the former backwater road games, a bru- already on pace for the first 800- tal stretch under which even the yard season from someone not strongest of teams would have named Dillard in decades. But if broken. The most cynical among we have a rushing game, I've yet us joke that we returned home last to see it — of course, that may be week, finding ourselves once again because our games haven't been in ESPN's Bottom 10. But our place televised, yet another reason add- there, straddled by Temple and ing to the misery the 2009 season UCLA, will soon be vacated. has thus far produced. I'll be at the game tomorrow, This season has hurt, but not caked in paint and hoarse in nearly as much, I'm sure, as the voice, cheering on the defending egos of the batch of the seniors. Dix- Texas Bowl champs. The trophy on, Shepherd and defensive back is still ours. The postseason still Andrew Sendejo are leading the awaits. If they want to go 1-0 every only crop of Owls who have visited week, tomorrow would be a good two bowls since Marilyn Monroe place to start. broke Joe DiMaggio's heart. To see their team falter like this, a mighty Casey Michel is a Brown College se- descent from the Texas Bowl tri- nior and Thresher editor in chief. OMEN'S XC FROM PAGE 14 tucker max forward to the meet." I expect Tulsa to be in the top eight It is clear that the Owls will have to ten teams nationally, and UTEP tough competition in both races, to be in the top 15," Warren said. V;,>• _ ,> -. •! y .;M; especially with the University of "The regional meet is key. If we id k Texas-El Paso adding two new can get a couple guys up near the f 'rr litipr r u> (WniiPilyfPlf members to their team, which now front, and overall have a 32-minute amdiM § features six native Kenyans. Yet average with the runners, I think itO;| ilipPlMSKsymphp WS i; rnrnr l'?; riHii Warren is undaunted and eager to we will place well. I'm very excited iiiltltuluii Pnl fflUilb mAstOf01®..!: Mi llli fllfffiil see what the future has to hold for about the years to come, since four RESTRICTED the team, both in this season and of our top five guys at last week's NUDITY STRONG Sf.XtiAlCONTENT INCIUDI1 the next. meet were either freshmen or soph tOGUf rHROOGMOUT. lANGUAGC ANO i IHDPETHEYSERVEBEERINHELL.COM "By the time we go to conference, omores."

http://bloqs.rmtlnresher.orq/sports FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER ADVERTISEMENT 17

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+ i i 11 1 I J I 18 SPORTS THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 • POWDERPUFF FROM PAGE 13 POWDERPUFF PREDICTIONS

passing attack as junior quarter- team scoring again. In the second back Valicia Miller connected twice half, however, Will Rice employed with junior Maria Failla on long the play-action pass, moving the ball WEEK 3 CASEY YAN DOCTOR NATALIE JOE touchdown passes, including one down the field well to score three 2009 EIC FEATURES DESIGN SPORTS A&E within the final 30 seconds to pre- more touchdowns. serve a Jones victory. Jones 18, Sid Rich 12 Sid BaDunc Sid BaDunc Sid Lovett 13, In stunning fashion, Jones de- BADUNC "But why so "If Kevin Liu "Kevin Liu "Marsupials, "They are Baker-Duncan 12 feated Sid on Sunday afternoon vs loud while takes snaps." needs to stop bitch." scary." with a comeback for the ages. After stretching?" barking." Lovett responded from Saturday's trailing 12-0 late in the fourth quar- SID loss with a win on Sunday, the col- ter due to a pair of touchdown pass- lege's first victory in over two years. es by Sid senior quarterback Ashley Pawlik and junior Shaina Rasmus- Thompson, Jones took over on their sen were pivotal in the win, as each own 20-yard line with under three hauled in touchdown receptions of Brown Brown Brown Wiess Wiess minutes left. Jones sophomore Nne- over 50 yards. Baker-Duncan, on the "Jackie > Tracy.' "Does Wiess "'Jackie,' na Okeke took a toss 80 yards for a BROWN "I would be "YEAHHH final play of the game, had a pass play powder- 'Jackie,' touchdown, cutting the Sid deficit vs mean, but Wiess." attempt intercepted by Lovett se- puff?" 'Jackie.'" in half. WlESS Ricky's nior Erin Finn. Sophomore Bridgette sensitive." Bennett played a stellar game on de- After forcing a three-and-out, fense for Lovett. knocking down five Jones got the ball back and scored passes in the second half to help the again with just 17 seconds left, this winning cause. time on a pass from Miller to Failla. Jones did not convert the extra point, Hanszen BaDunc BaDunc BaDunc BaDunc and Sid got the ball back on their own HANSZEN "Just so Abbie "They are the "Hanszen? "Roo, Roo, "Because 35 with 17 seconds left and the game vs Ryan will green college." Meh." Roo..." Hanszen is Will Rice-McMurtry 28, tied 12-12. shut up." weaksauce." Brown 7 Thompson threw a long pass on BADUNC On the first play of the game, first down, but Jones junior Gabi Brown senior running back Jackie Quart intercepted a pass, return- Ammons broke for a 50-yard touch- ing the ball to the Sid 25-yard line down and nabbed the extra point and running out of bounds with two for a 7-0 lead. Will Rice-McMurtry seconds left. On the final play of the Wiess Lovett Lovett Wiess Wiess then marched down the field during game, Miller rolled out to the right "Doc on chain 'I just don't like "Making the i bleed "See Brown v. their first possession and tied the and lofted a pass to the back of the WIESS gain? Loss." Wiess." winningest goldenrod.' Wiess." game. The rest of the first half was end zone, where Failla hauled in the vs Lovett team a defensive deadlock, with neither game-winning pass as time expired. LOVETT since my freshman year.'

Sports Poetry Comer: McWill Neither Jones Jones McWill MCWILL 'Will someone "Do you really 'I hate the pain "They're just too "Jones Blows Remembering the Success vs please stop have to ask?" train." good." Goats" JONES* Espinoza?" After the printing of Copy Editor Anna Wilde's column on the ever- classy David Robinson last week, the Thresher received another exam- *Game of the Week ple of Anna's literary talent. Mr. Richard Wilde, Anna's father, submitted a poem, Remembering the Success, written by Anna in eighth grade for the San Antonio Poetry Fair.

Hair slighlty graying and success just a memory, the old man still towers over the crowd- locals and tourists who flow slowly, mimicking the river next to them. Everyone notices the man, but he is not recognized for his height. the morning... Who could forget the solemn expression and clean cut attitude displayed on the couii years ago? Who could forget the savior of the franchise, the 71 points, dunks, jumpers, blocks, and boards, the leadership. AND YOU NEED TO KNOW the hero of the hearts of San Antonio, !F YOU'RE AN EARLY RISER. the champion who touched lives around the world. WHAT'S UP ON CAMPUS, known simply to all as the Admiral? Memories of jubilation, defeat, faith, love, all in his eyes as he greets each fan with a wistful smile. J*1

Powerful stuff, to be sure.

- f ; * AA COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT CENTER

O P P O RT UN IT I F S F O R F U N DI N G TO VOLUNTEER ABROAD

LoewensU'rn Fellowships Earn a stipend ot up to $6,500 for a summer of international service in Latin America or Asia! As a Loewcnstern Fellow you will have the opportunity to serve in a 4-12 week placement, receiving a stipend to pay for travel to/from host country, living expenses, program tees, and other expenses. In this third year, up to .'{() Fellows will participate in direct service work and will he HA VE THE LA TES T NEWS RIGHT IN YOUR INBOX. required to select their individual project through a list of approved third-party providers. WAITING FOR YOU... Rice Developing World .Student's Scholarship This need-based scholarship provides assistance to participate in international service work over winter break, spring break, or the summer. One $2,000 need-based scholarship will be awarded to assist an undergraduate student funding an independent service trips to a region that is considered a developing or Third World country Those serving as part of a group experience are not eligible.

TO MEET REPRESENTATIVES I ROM APPROVED PROVIDERS TOR HESE PROGRAMS. ATTEND THIS UPCOMING EVENT SPONSORED BY THE OrriCE OF INTFRNATIONAI PROGRAMS:

INTERN A I IONAI OPPORTUNITIES FAIR FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25 — 11:00AM - 2:00PM RMC GRAND HAM

www.ricethresher.org/register FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 THE RICE THRESHER CALENDAR 19

TUESDAY the Calendar My roommate and I plan to HAJI13 fl 9d ot zrtiuz yllelo) II .woW m 93ii SEPT. 25-OCT. 1, 2009 make Club Fondren T-shirts )'I nfi9CI ot sub yldedoiq ,iB9y \NSWS*\ ts'j on rltiw gogallo'j bsrfeinflnu But, while you wait for those follow us 24/7 at twitter.com/threshercal ni lo loorfybijJ shirts, check out a talk today \o }\99>N a'ti bnA .yanornlo tnuomc ynr, about some more reasons to love will be Pladd's fourth work to be tl erit rio yew gnoiw 9(11 gnrbn everyone's favorite library. Jane OS .)q92 premiered on the Wiess College qu bbG rteGO tefil to^i boart briB Segal, one of Fondren's librar- FRIDAY stage. My roommates and I have tohov/ oJ rnyrlt Resources at Fondren Library" Hello, parents! $5 for parents (and anyone else in a chat during this lunch hour. yHriArtAjM A'AmH tnebiaart h?, who isn't a student). b9DfiJJoriflfi r"T""-j;1"»j Welcome to The Rice Thresher Learn more by heading to Sewall 9d Uiw erf Jeri) Calendar. This is probably your Hall 570 at 12:15 p.m. student's favorite section of the In case you can't believe you fP I newspaper, but more importantly, are actually paying to send RELAX!!! STAY CALM!!! ysiioq baa yio) S* ^ 4fJ it's the handiest guide there is for your kid(s) to this place 9(f) ot. eeibtite rant David Ives and alumna Patricia you guys. I don't understand to- ing Mickey Mouse's favorite dance c/o Mike (instill. Master, Wiess College "Pladd" I.add (Wiess '09). This day's pop culture either. tune! MS 738 20 BACKPAGE THE RICE THRESHER FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25,2009 rice in ENLARGING THE ENDOWMENT Wow. It totally sucks to be Rice's endowment right now. Our big fat money machine has lost nearly a billion dollars in the past review] year, probably due to Dean Forman's expensive drug habit (or subprime lending or maybe both). Pretty soon we 11 be living in unfinished colleges with no cell phone reception and showers that leak everywhere. Oh, wait... Luckily, Rice is a school of ingenuity and opportunity. We're also opportunists willing to bend our morals and traditions to make week of any amount of money. And it's not like RUPD has the manpower to enforce the law around here—they're too busy arresting bikers for riding the wrong way on the Inner Loop at 1 a.m. It doesn't take a Rice grad to figure out the next logical step. Our moral ambiguity sept. 20 and need for fast cash add up to an easy solution: Seedy, illegal enterprises. Thanks to Rice's hella awesome new Gibbs Recreation Center, we now have the old rec center (which we will always call "Autry") at our disposal. And since the university has no idea what to do with all those extra racquetball courts, well, we should probably set student association them to work recouping the endowment. Here are a few ways we could use those mothballed facilities. SA President Patrick M< AnAnEy J »»ywt a n n o u n c e d 1 ;f BttHHjgJg J '3e v A 4 | switching his Locker Rooms •••;> Porn Set • I majors from his- y H; 1§. 1 tory and policy Everyone knows that the best Jb I studies to the scenes in the history of classic w| I sixth new bio- pornography start in steamy, 1 Jk -M 1 science major: dank locker rooms. Autry mm& imm XTREME PAIN. certainly has those. I mean, All undergraduates will be subject to his special brand of inde- where else can a group of wet, pendent study. naked girls enjoy each others' commencement company in privacy? Rice has two speaker chosen * gender-themed locker rooms and an endless supply of co-eds YO MUHAMMAD YUNUS I'M desperate to have sex with HAPPY FOR YOU AND 1MMA LET anyone or anything. Debbie Does YOU FINISH BUT ZAINAB SALBI Houston, here we come. WAS THE MOST GUILT-INDUCING COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME! mmm parents* weekend

I remember when we used to J Weight Rooms ••••> Underground Casino blast porno noises from the WRC Never mind those pesky laws againsi gambling in 90s nonstop during parents week- Texas: Houston could really use a proper casino. The end. Someone should do that. closest big-name slots are in Lake Charles, Louisiana, which is a few hours too far for students who gripe about walking to the Village for dinner on Saturday misclass nights. The old rec center's half-empty weight rooms "So would you say your would make the perfect space for craps, blackjack and Swimming Pool •••>• Dog Fighting Pit other entertaining ways to throw money away. vagina is an open or According to Wikipedia, President Leebron's closed system? With favorite hobby is dog fighting (and if it says exchange of energy or anything else then you should fix it). Rumor bulk material?" has it that Leebron became infatuated with dog Best. Misclass. Ever. fighting while he was a student at Harvard Law "My couch pulls out, but I School, where dog fights are a common Friday don't." night activity. Rice could provide a fun and entertaining escape for students by holding Runner up. constant dogfights in Autry's old, empty lap pool. More importantly, Rice's bioengineering students could breed a race of super- THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SENT IN m aggressive "house" dogs that would keep the MISCLASS. KEEP IT COMIN'. Srs p cash flowing our way. backpage@rice. edu taWAjf* } xx jmmmmrn r m l OR TEXT TO 850.319.9823 OR DM TO @ THRESHERBKPG The Backpage is satire and is written by Kyle Barnhart and Cristina Tortarolo. You won't believe how many dogs were harmed in the making of this issue. 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