SoccerNews Issue # 5, July 07th 2016

Continental/Division Tires Buettnerstraße 25 | 30165 Hannover Alexander Bahlmann Phone: +49 511 938 2615 Head of Communications & E-Mail: [email protected] Public Relations PLT www.contisoccerworld.de SoccerNews # 5/2016 2

News lent tally of 32 goals. And then he arrived in and suddenly encountered a log- jam. He scored 32 goals in 71 international Thomas Mueller matches since his debut in 2010; he has now earned 76 caps, but the number of goals re- searching for mains the same. From now he doesn’t want to take a goal penalties In a manner of speaking Thomas Mueller is the average German. Thomas is the most Thomas Mueller has scored 32 common male Christian name in , goals in 76 international match- as is his family name Mueller. But the Upper Bavarian is a true character in life as well as es. At the 2010 World Cup he sport. His way of playing football is unique. was the top scorer, and hit three “He has running paths like no-one else”, says national coach Joachim Loew. Mueller de- goals against Portugal in Ger- scribes how he enjoys being a “cross-country many’s first match at the 2014 runner”, criss-crossing the pitch. Loew has recommended that he simply runs at the World Cup finals. The prolific French defence, making it difficult for any blue goal machine is suffering from a defender to follow him. Mueller is capable of unsettling an entire defence system. And then goal drought at these European at some point he normally stands free in front Championships. It’s not just na- Don’t whinge, you are always playing for time, Luigi. That’s what Thomas Mueller seems to be saying to of goal and nets. Italy’s goalkeeper Buffon. Photo: Imago tional coach Joachim Loew who Suddenly Mueller even failed to net a dead ball is hoping that this will end in the from eleven metres. When was the top scorer at the 2010 World Cup and goals for the next match, now the semi-fi- saved his shot in the penalty shoot-out against semi-final against France. netted three goals against Portugal in the first nal against France on Thursday, is another Italy, he announced he would not take another match of the 2014 World Cup finals, is totally standard question casually parried by Mueller. penalty until he had thoroughly practised his The off duty goalscorer is not desperately unusual. It is gradually getting on the nerves “That’s what we talk about after every match. shooting technique. However, he is still being searching for reasons, but neither is Thomas of this customarily funny and quick-witted But whether it is so, I would rather answer af- praised by Loew and his team-mates. Muel- Mueller as cool as usual. At EURO 2016 the guy, causing him at times to brood. ter the next one”. ler invests everything into the team, with his 26-year-old has been chasing a goal for five running performances “unbelievable” in every matches. “I’ll continue trying. If it happens, it “A goal would give me peace, as I wouldn’t It has come to a sudden halt, as Mueller match. “He doesn’t let himself feel down”, said happens”, says Mueller. “If we win the final and have to answer anymore respective ques- scored his last goal to make it 2-0 in the final Loew, referring to the goal drought. His “goal- I haven’t scored I might be criticised by the tions”, he told journalists who have pestered friendly before the European Championship less” striker is now the first candidate to replace media, but we will still take the trophy home”, him after every European Championship against Hungary. The entire season went very injured Mario Gomez up front. Loew said he the Munich player stressed in a defiant tone. match as to whether he is irritated by his well. Mueller played 49 competitive matches has the feeling “that Mueller will score when he This lack of goals for Thomas Mueller, who missed chances. Whether he is saving his for Bayern Munich and recorded the excel- really needs it”. At least one goal is needed to SoccerNews # 5/2016 3

News

Why is Ronaldo not tattooed? European Championship elimination by quarter-finals last Saturday. The left-side de- Many critics maintain that Italyin the round of 16. Goalkeeper Casillas, fender of 1.FC Cologne turned professional is vain and narcissistic. But the Portuguese 35, was replaced by , 25, during quite late and thinks that international match- international striker, who with his team will the tournament. After that silence reigned es will never become a normality for him. meet Wales in the semi-finals of the Europe- between Casillas and del Bosque. Following His team-mates at 1. FC Cologne like to call an Championship, does not exhibit distinc- his resignation the coach announced on him “Schlaubi”, and the 26-year-old has often tive tattoos as many other professional foot- social media: “Have sent a farewell text mes- been called it in the German national team. ballers. There is a reason for this, although sage to all the players, except Casillas”.Then a Cologne’s substitute goalkeeper Thomas it’s not because he doesn’t want to blight his reunion picture was posted on at the Kessler created the nickname because,with body shaped through perpetual fitness train- start of the week, with del Bosque and Casil- his glasses, Hector allegedly looks a bit like ing. “I am not tattooed because if I were I las smilingly embracing each other. Casillas’s the “Schlaubi” smurf. Hector, who was still couldn’t donate blood”, Ronaldo explained to comment: “Love is always the solution!” playing in the fourth German division with Italian journalists. The 31-year-old has been a SV Auersmacher in the Saarland just six blood donor since 2011. In principle tattooed years ago, studies business economics. people may also donate blood – but only four months after a fresh tattoo. Italian referee Rizzoli officiates at German semi-final Good outcome for Ronaldo’s microphone Italian referee Nicola Rizzoli will officiate at German penalty hero: Jonas Hector throw the European Championship semi-final be- Photo: Imago When attempting to put Real ’s su- tween Germany and France. Two years ago perstar in perspective, it must be noted that the 44-year-old architect from Mirandola in even an unfriendly, even ruthless action of the Emilia Romagna Region also refereed beat France. If Mueller scores it, it would Ronaldo has brought a good outcome. The the World Cup final in Rio de Janeiro, with certainly be celebrated with the greatest striker recently threw the microphone of a Germany triumphing 1-0 over Argentina intensity. reporter, who wanted to interview him, into after extra time. This could be a good omen a lake. The TV channel of the Portuguese for the German team coached by Joachim Referee Nicola Rizzoli at the match Portugal – But Mueller also hinted on Tuesday that there newspaper “Correio da Manha” (CMTV) had Loew. It is Rizzoli‘s fourth European Cham- . In the background: Cristiano Ronaldo. is one probable reason. He criticised the long the device recovered by two divers. It will pionship match. The Italian, one of the best Photo: Imago seasonal programme, without sufficient rest now be auctioned off, with the proceeds referees in the world, also officiated at the and holiday periods, demanded of the top going to a psycho-pedagogic rehabilitation “German Endspiel” 2013 Champions League players. “It is nerve-racking during the season. centre in Portugal. Smurf “Schlaubi” in the DFB team final between Bayern Munich and Borussia But then you have just a three-week holiday Jonas Hector is the widely unknown student Dortmund (2-1) at Wembley Stadium. with no anticipation for the new season. You Spanish harmony among the German World Cup champions, can draw a deep breath and then you are A fierce argument erupted between Spanish even though he converted the decisive pen- pushed under water again. It causes great record international Iker Casillas (167 caps) alty for Germany’s 6-5 victory over Italy in pressure mentally”, Mueller disclosed. But he and coach after ’s the shoot out of the European Championship would not complain. He will again chase goals in Marseille on Thursday from 21:00 hrs. SoccerNews # 5/2016 4

ALLEZ BOOM!

Oobi-Oooobi gets it wrong

Your author’s blood pressure is gradually getting back to normal after all those pen- alties and he’s wondering why the EUROs attract so many animal oracles.

By Freddy Boom

Slowly but surely the dust is beginning to settle again in my head. I’ve rebooted the synapses, given my short-term memory a quick spring clean, sorted through the sepia images of the more distant past and cleared some room for the next batch of recollections – because, dear friends of the beautiful game, it’s nearly semi-final time. The therapeutic reviews and instructive lessons from the quarter final between Germany and Italy are behind us at last. Phew. One of the worst jobs was restoring Never trust an elephant: Zella chooses Poland, Wales, Italy and Iceland as her quarter final winners. Photo: dpa my nine year-old daughter to a fully functioning member of society at 1 o’clock in the morning … From the minute the first penalty was taken, she flung herself about on the sofa like watching – like devouring a whole season of “Homeland” at a to name, making the real thought-leaders, like your SoccerNews on the bouncy castle at the school open day, an emotional single sitting – are as meditative as watching a Yogi practicing team philosopher Freddy Boom, cringe and moan, then rage wreck. When the tenth penalty whizzed harmlessly over the yoga. and swear, leaping around on the sofa like in some bouncy cas- bar, she reached for the anchor of a nearby parent (me) and tle … but, forgive me, we’ve already been there. drenched my collar with hot tears, while I did my very best to I’ll just give you a second to savor the neat phonetic transition reassure her that the world – and the match, come to that – had from Yogi to Jogi (Löw) before we move on … Although first Where we haven’t yet been is to our national zoos. That’s where not yet come to an end. There would be more penalty-takers allow me a brief diversion to all those cute oracles that try to we can find the real EUROs oracles. Ever since a squid called post-Schweinsteiger (although post-Özil might have been more predict the outcome of the matches contested by Europe’s fin- Paul correctly predicted the outcome of all the World Cup appropriate) and that life would go on, in Bordeaux, in Paris, est footballers. Just to be clear here, I mean the animals, and not matches contested by Jogi Löw and his crew in 2010, raising wherever … I don’t know about you, but I’ve never experienced TV prophets and pathologists and twitter stars along the lines press conferences at the Sea Life Center in Oberhausen to the such an emotionally draining evening on the sofa at home, of Gary “the Tweet” Lineker and Alan “après-Roy” Shearer. These same level as announcements from the German team surrounded by my loved ones. Compared to those deciding two former internationals could whip up a national debate in South Africa, the oracle-ization of global football events has penalties in the Germany/Italy match, even long nights of binge about every last blade of grass in any French stadium you care become an almost professional pursuit. In 2014, an elephant by SoccerNews # 5/2016 5

Quotes of the quarters:

We wanna stay here and They play like there was drink all your beer no tomorrow

A classic chorus from the Welsh canon of vivacious verse. Wales (recently renamed “Bales”) take on the Portugal’s coach Fernando Santos, looking ahead to the semi-finals where the red dragons of Wales are might of Portugal in the semis. their surprise opponents.

the name of (you guessed it) Nelly, found her- finally Flocke the penguin (Lübbenau). And to told you that Jonas Hector was going to belt weather-forecasting) roughly 50:50. My pet self transformed from modern-day mammoth snap up a tiddler from Flocke’s idiom: in interna- the 18th penalty into the net by way of Gianluigi prophet is Sally, she’s a three-toed sloth. You to star striker, charged with kicking footballs tional waters, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It’s Buffon’s left armpit to rack up that remarkable want to know if Germany or France will make it into goals assigned to the various teams. You gone so far that I feel I have to recommend that 7:6 scoreline. But the most appealing of the ora- to the final? Well, I slung up two washing lines may laugh, but Nelly predicted that Germany when they decide to expand the starting line-up cles, to my mind, is Oobi-Oooobi, the koala from in the garden – one with German kit and one would win the World Cup, no less, so we’ll hear of the next EUROs from 24 to 32-plus-x teams, a Zoo. In the run-up to Germany’s very with French, although actually it’s an old Italy none of that moaning about not being allowed wild card be sent to Absurdistan. The plot thick- first match with Ukraine, he spent two whole shirt, but who’s to know? Azzurro, bleu, who to shoot with your trunk. Now, though, it has ens, dear SoccerNews community, when your hours gazing at two glasses full of eucalyptus cares? And tomorrow morning I’ll peep out of to be said that things have gotten slightly favorite investigative journalist reveals that most leaves before choosing neither and deciding to the bedroom window and see which line she’s out of hand. Every last local radio station has of these so-called oracles have no professional cuddle up with his beloved keeper instead and chosen to sleep on. I’ll tell you what happened adopted its own funny, furry oracle, and your qualifications whatsoever. Zella the elephant bury his face in her hair. The zoo manager did in the next issue of SoccerNews (if she got it author has toured the nation to make sure the from , for example, scored three brilliant his best to interpret the non-decision of his ab- right, that is, and unless it goes to 22 penalties, following list is complete, so here we go: a pair own goals at the quarter final stage by predict- sent-minded antipode as a vote for a draw, but in which case you can come and visit me in my of prophetic piglets (Viernau), an elephant by ing Iceland, Italy and Poland as semi-finalists, as we non-oracular footie-followers know, the bouncy castle). the name of Zella (Stuttgart), a labrador called although it must be said, she did get Wales right. game ended in a 2:0 win for Germany. Nika (Stuttgart), Oobi-Oooobi the koala bear Her preferred technique was to pick balls deco- Oh, and incidentally, I just heard that Zella the (Leipzig), Mapema the gorilla (Duisburg), a rated with national flags out of a basket. Equally And now I’d like to invite you all to come up elephant has been caught in an offside (ele- drake called Gregor (Potsdam), Ottilie the otter uninspired was labrador Nika, who rushed to with your own personal oracle. It’s fun. It takes phant) trap: Before the EUROs ever began, she (Weilburg), Amélie the donkey (Münster), a gobble up the treats from her Italy bowl, instead your mind off all kinds of less pleasant things. predicted that the winner would be: Northern tomcat by the name of King Loui (Aachen), and of drooling over Germany. Any fool could have And the chances of being right are (like in Ireland. SoccerNews # 5/2016 6

the headlines and the was famous at a single stroke. That was the first time the name had been associated with the DMG brand. But Jellinek was not about to stop there and commissioned DMG management and its chief designer of the day, , to build a car for him that would be fast, light and safe. This new model, Jellinek made clear, was to be officially named after his daughter – then ten years old. That same month, Jellinek placed an order for 36 of these vehicles, worth a total of 550,000 gold marks, equivalent to more An early woman driver: Truth to tell, Mercédès than one third of DMG’s annual sales. Clearly Jellinek didn’t think much of . Here, however, there could be no question of denying such a she poses at the wheel of a 1906 Mercedes racing financially potent customer his wish regarding car. Photo: Daimler the naming of the car. Jellinek became a sales

agent for Mercedes vehicles and from then on made it his business to sell them outside The first car officially named Mercedes, a 35 PS racing car built in 1901. Photo: Daimler Germany. was to prove the ideal base, populated as it was by the kind of people who could afford the luxury of owning a car. Did you know ... of the 19th century he was living in Nice, in And the Mercedes 35 PS, as the new model the south of France. When the horseless car- was known, from Maybach’s drawing board, … that Mercedes comes from riage was invented in 1886, Jellinek was at exceeded all expectations. When five of these France? once captivated by this new form of personal newly built models entered for the Nice Auto mobility. After trying out French cars built by Week, and dominated the race at top speeds De Dion-Bouton and Léon Bollée, in 1896 he of 86 km/h, the cars were on everyone’s lips When you think of brands that have shaped spotted a newspaper ad’ promoting Daim- – and the Mercedes brand was born. From German business over the years, what comes ler-Motoren-Gesellschaft (DMG). Soon he was then on, the more prosperous residents of to mind? , Braun and, of course, Con- on his way to Cannstatt in Germany, where he Nice could be seen driving up and down the tinental. Then there’s Volkswagen, BMW ordered not one but two cars, a four horse- beach-side Promenade des Anglais. Following and Mercedes … Although, when it comes to power and a nine horsepower model, capable this success, Emil Jellinek even changed his Mercedes, there’s a chapter in its history that of reaching 40 km/h “on smooth roads”, as the own surname to Jellinek-Mercédès, saying: not everyone knows about. Because while the advertisement claimed – an astonishing speed “I’m probably the first father ever to bear the brand has come to be a worldwide symbol of for the late 19th century. Already a passionate name of his daughter.” As for Mercédès Jellinek German engineering and top-class vehicles race driver, Jellinek entered his Daimler touring herself, she was unmoved by all the fuss and ‘made in Germany’, its roots can be traced cars for any number of races, driving them showed no interest in cars. In fact, despite back to France. The man at the origin of the himself and naming them after his daughter, lending her name to one of the world’s most brand name was a certain Emil Jellinek. Born Mercédès. When, in 1899, he won the race at Star-studded history: Emil Jellinek and his daughter famous automobile brands, she never actually in Leipzig, Germany, in 1853, Jellinek was a the “Semaine automobile” in Nice at an average Mercédès, who lent her name to one of the world’s owned a car. businessman and a diplomat and by the end speed of 34.57 km/h, his achievement made most famous automobile brands. Photo: Daimler